#i drew this a week ago and i forgot the context so

[partentts]

[okapiandpaste]

So Letters from Watson sent out “The Dying Detective” a few weeks ago, and since it’s a favorite of mine I thought I’d talk about why I think it’s one of the most crucial stories for understanding Holmes and Watson as a characters. (This is late because I hesitated on posting and then promptly forgot about it. Whoops.)

What most people take away from “Dying Detective”, I assume, is that Holmes is a master of deception. While this is partially true, I don’t think Holmes’ illness being faked should be used to dismiss the vulnerability of the situation: that Holmes had starved himself for 3 days and needed Watson’s complete faith in him if he was to succeed in catching a murderer.

Holmes’ deception of Watson in this story is regarded by many as coldblooded. There’s a moment in his false delirium where, in a last ditch effort to keep Watson from realizing his illness is fake, he calls Watson a “general practitioner with very limited experience and mediocre qualifications”. At this, Watson describes being “bitterly hurt”.

After the reveal of the sickness being faked, Holmes could’ve easily excused himself of this cruel remark due to it being a part of his act (even Watson himself believed this to be the case), but chooses not to. Rather, after he makes the comment, he immediately backpedals for the rest of the story, complimenting Watson profusely even while still pretending to be delirious (“Don’t forget, Watson. You won’t fail me. You never did fail me.”). At the end, he openly admits that the reason for keeping Watson at a distance was that, contrary to his harsh remark, he actually believed him too astute a doctor to fool if he drew any closer.

Like with Holmes’ false death and disguise in “The Empty House”, the events of “Dying Detective” naturally add speculative elements of distrust and tension to the public interpretation of Holmes and Watson’s dynamic. Why should Watson trust Holmes after he upsets him like that? Despite all this, the actual text frames these moments as faith-restoring.

Although most of Watson’s narration in “Dying Detective” is punctuated with his distress, there’s a deep undercurrent of faith in his behavior. He expresses fear and doubt over Holmes’ ability to make decisions in such a state, but he decides to believe Holmes knows what’s best for himself and follows his instructions perfectly. This isn’t just blind trust on Watson’s part, it’s mutual, because if Holmes did not believe Watson would follow his instructions to a tee, the entire plan would’ve failed.

And this is all without mentioning the scene where Holmes shouts in terror when Watson reaches for the box, clearly fearing for Watson’s safety when we finally learn the context. They clearly care a lot about each other in this story, and even though it’s just from Watson’s perspective, it’s obvious Holmes is trying to be considerate despite the strange situation. (So, anyways, it kinda sucks that this story is read shallowly and used as proof towards the idea that Sherlock is a complete asshole.)

[twin-books]

Speaking of other topics.

I found one of my absolute favorite shows of all time on complete accident. It's all thanks to Drew Gooden and IDOLiSH7 (also a very good show).

IDOLiSH7 is a very nice feel-good idol anime. I adore it. It makes me unreasonably happy. It's based on a game of the same name that happens to be a rhythm game. They even have official music videos of their songs which I immediately found every single one of and watched them.

Then less than a month ago I finally watched that Drew Gooden video about Guitar Hero. I have never once played Guitar Hero and I barely watch Drew Gooden because I have like an endless list of YouTuber's I'm subscribed to that I just cycle through so this was at random.

But I guess watching that one video about Guitar Hero onto of all those IDOLiSH7 music videos had the YouTube algorithm go "Hmmm... she must really like rhythm games" and it recommended me one rhythm game based YouTube video. It immediately gave up on showing me anymore afterwards because I guess it realized I don't actually care too much about them. I just really like music.

But luckily this one video had this absolute banger of a song that someone had put into the rhythm game and tried to match the game to the beat. I freaking adored this song but it didn't give the name of the artist, just the title of the song so I told myself I'd like the video and then look into it later.

I completely forgot about it until a week later where I was looking through my liked songs on YouTube Music and saw one with a thumbnail of two animesque boys. I literally could not remember what this video was so I clicked it and then I saw it was that rhythm game. But I wondered why on earth these two dudes were the thumbnail when they were absolutely no where in the video.

So that song was Dive Back in Time from the first opening of the donghua, Link Click. I looked it up, saw that the same two anime-like dudes were on the album cover and thought to myself, "Huh, is this like a game or something?" The song was completely in English which threw me through a loop.

So I looked up Link Click, realized it was a donghua, then immediately looked up the opening this song was attached to because I figured based on the song title it had to be something about time travel.

Here's a fun fact about me... I absolutely adore time travel for a story narrative. It's so fun. But good time travel content is extremely hard to find because apparently it's super easy for people to absolutely screw up this amazingly creative and fun premise.

With that being said, I was willing to do just about anything to figure out if this was not only a time travel show but a good time travel show. So I watched the season 1 opening and it gave me absolutely no clues whatsoever. Absurdly unhelpful without context.

Yeah, I turned to wikipedia for the answers. And yes, it was about time travel and the premise sounded so gosh darn amazing. Here's the wikipedia synopsis;

After finding this I realized there was apparently a season 2 so out of pure curiosity I looked up the season 2 opening. It's called VORTEX. Amazing. If nothing else this show would be full of gorgeous animation and breath-taking music.

I immediately hit up @koo1creations. She is also an avid enjoyer of some good time travel stories and she also adores sci-fi which time travel stories tend to fall under so we were hyped. We also both took the same short animation course when we were young so we absolutely adore animation and we both adore music. This show looked like an absolute winner.

So like fools, Monday night we started Link Click fully intending to stop at like 4 episodes. Ha. Nope, absolutely not. We loved it too much, we binged the whole first season. Tuesday night we binged what was out of season 2. Thankfully for us there was only 2 episodes left of season 2 to be released as soon as we finished it.

I cannot begin to give this show the praise it deserves. Season 1 is still the best so far, I'd say. But season 2 is still very good. It's such a fun show full of twists and turns. It really makes you think and it's full of nuances. The animation and style is gorgeous, the music is amazing, the characters are intriguing, and the story is addicting.

So thank you Drew Gooden and IDOLiSH7 for like my new number 1 favorite show. Gotta be the best way I have ever actually found anything I liked. I have had many times where I had quite a few hoops I had to jump through to find another thing I liked but this one takes the cake.

[the-script-demands-it]

Welcome to...

Rad's enormous pile of abandoned MetaWare WIPs/things that ARE finished but I didn't like them/WIPs that I might come back to/other stuff!

Below the "keep reading" button will be a detailing of all of these images! Please be aware that this WILL be an extremely long post, so... Just a warning. There'll be a second post after this that will also contain the rest of the art that I wasn't able to squeeze in here. (Even 30 pics per Tumblr post isn't enough for this...)

Let's start off with the most recently abandoned WIP!

I started drawing this about two weeks after Chris' birthday (her bday is January 4th) and I was really happy with it, but then I had NO idea how to pose Izzy. It's a bummer since I liked how Chris' hair came out, but alas! (Happy belated birthday, Chris!)

Possibility of finishing?: Yeah, maybe. Prob will have to change Izzy's pose if I really want to finish it though.

Oh hey, I posted this a few months ago on my other blog!

Really wish I finished it, but now that I'm looking back on it, there's definitely some improvement to be had here. I don't like whatever's going on with her face. You can tell that I gave up while trying to make the background as well. Poor Hope!

Possibility of finishing?: I'll have to completely redraw this if I plan on finishing it, but I've definitely got a feeling that I'll come back to this someday.

Hmph!

This one's actually pretty finished, I've just never posted it anywhere before because it's such a small little doodle. I like it though! Nari in a Gir tassel hat is always welcome.

Possibility of finishing?: It's already done. Don't plan on editing it!

(This happens on the rude route!)

It's basically just a proof of concept, and a VERY minimal one at that, but I think it's got some merit! Not enough people talk about that Chris Vs Aspen scene, honestly.

Possibility of finishing?: Sometime this year maybe...??? I don't plan on abandoning this forever, I just don't really know when I'll get around to it.

AUTISM BLAST PT. 1

Hey, remember that art I had pinned on my other blog for a while? I was planning on redrawing it, but I only ever managed to complete one part of it until I forgot about it... It's definitely an upgrade from the original version, though I can do better than this nowadays.

Possibility of finishing?: I'm DEFINITELY going to redraw this someday. I need a new pinned post, damn it!

Thx ^]

Okay, here's some context for these two. I got an anonymous ask on my other account saying that they liked my MetaWare PFP and I thought that it would be a great idea if I responded to it with some art and also turn that same post into an announcement for my MetaWare sideblog (this one!), but that of course did not actually happen.

Possibility of finishing?: NO.

Nari looks so... "off" in this picture.

I like how I drew Hope, but ergh... that is NOT Nari. I don't know how I managed to make her look like a completely different character in this one, but I do NOT like it.

Possibility of finishing?: Nah, I think I'm done with this pic.

Woah, scary!

I actually touched this one up a bit before sending it here. It used to look MUCH more incomplete, but it's basically done now besides from the hair being missing 'n all.

Possibility of finishing?: I might draw more MetaWare stuff with drastic lighting in the future, but I don't plan on revisiting this specifically.

Le miaow miaows.

I worked on Hope before sending this because she looked kinda off, but I think she looks OK now. You can see that this isn't really what my usual art style looks like. I was trying to mix together the original MetaWare sprite art style and the style SparkBag used in the polaroid anniversary art he made, and I think I did just fine.

Possibility of finishing?: It's basically already done! Coloring it would probably make it cooler, but I don't think I'll ever do that.

This won't be the last time I try to use eyes symbolically.

I still REALLY want to revisit this again. It's great! It's magnificent! I just did NOT have the ability to execute it properly back when I made it a ton of months ago, so I just didn't do it. Still don't know if I do now, but it's worth a shot. (This was basically just another proof of concept, by the way.)

Possibility of finishing?: Absolutely! I'll try to get to this sometime soon this year.

GRILLING START ! ! !

Yep, this was based off of Papyrus' "Dating Start!" minigame! Just another proof of concept or... Okay I don't know what else to call these. Like, they're definitely NOT finished nor are they actual fleshed out sketches, what else am I supposed to call them???? I think it's cool though.

Possibility of finishing?: Don't think I'll be ditching this idea anytime soon. Seems kinda simple to draw too, I'll get to it sometime.

Lookin' pretty cute!!

Context for this one: It was gonna be a 3 part comic or something with Hope drawing Nari's bear fursona. Never actually made the comic though, but I DID make her fursona!!! It's the one right below this one, actually.

Possibility of finishing?: Nope.

BEAR NARI BARI LET'S GO

Personally, I think this is adorable. When drawing people's fursonas I always kinda make them more animal than anthropomorphic, but I think it leads to pretty cute art!

Possibility of finishing?: It's already done!

I was just testing out a brush with this one, I think.

It's a cute little doodle, don't have much to say about it though! I WILL say that the bear plushie was a bit inspired by my own plush I have at home, though this one is much smaller than mine.

Possibility of finishing?: Nah, it's just a little doodle.

Ingo Nari... Ingri... Angry!?!

iiii really think I made the hat too big. Like... WAY too big. Don't really like how her face came out, but the body itself is pretty OK. I based it too much on Ingo's original pose though, kinda looks like I just put Nari's head on his head LMAO

Possibility of finishing?: This is basically already finished, though I might draw Nari cosplaying as Ingo again. Why not?

(Bonus Ingri!)

Nari in a hoodie!

Don't exactly remember what this was for. Either it was for an AU of mine or someone else's AU. Her front hair's kinda too far down though, I had a bit of a habit making her face REALLY small compared to her hair in my old art.

Possibility of finishing?: Nay!

Wow, Nari with an eye AND eyebrows! Who woulda thunk it.

Her hair is much puffier than previous versions in this one. Why? Dunno. She looks pretty cool AND cute in this though!

Possibility of finishing?: It's already complete.

My polar bear plush makes a cameo in this one! Say hi!

I had to edit this one a SHIT ton before sending this final picture. I wish I had a pin that said "I HATE DRAWING METAWARE STYLE NOSES" because I loathe them. There were other reasons why I didn't like the original version, but I was annoyed with the nose the most. Really happy how this came out though!

Possibility of finishing?: I just finished it right now. (I'll probably be posting this on its own sometime soon)

Some original characters...!? Unthinkable!

This features Lumi (Metolefrul-indus' fan character) and an old version of Rowan (my fan character)! I changed Rowan's design and personality soon after this, so I don't think this interaction with Lumi and Rowan will actually ever happen... Sorry Lumi! 'Twas just a little doodle.

Possibility of finishing?: NEVER.

Last but not least (for this post, anyway), is this Chris and Izzy sketch!

Some pals requested this during a stream and this was all I managed to make of it... I'm so sorry!!!!!!! They were good prompts!!! I'll finish it one day I swear!!!!

Possibility of finishing?: Soon!

PHEW WE'RE DONE FOR THIS POST. We have 20 more to go in the next one! Might post it next week because this is tiring holy hell. Glad to show these WIPs off to the world though!

P.S. I'm going to skip a few images seen in the huge pic at the beginning! Some were already completed and I'll just post those on their own orrrr I just don't want to review 'em.

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

pasta & posies

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil Rating: Teen & up  Relationships: Analogical Warnings: Language, food Word count: 1818

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Virgil loves his husband, but he’s pretty darn sure today is not their anniversary. So why the flowers? 

Notes: Day 1 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read. 

Virgil had just set a pot of water to boil on the stove when he heard the front door unlock and Logan clearing his throat as he stepped in, just like he did every time he arrived home. Virgil was pretty sure Logan didn’t realize he did it; he had no plans of telling Logan, in case he tried to break the habit, because Virgil thought it was kind of ridiculously endearing and didn’t want him to stop. Then again, most things about Logan were that way, so maybe Virgil was just a sap.

“Hey, babe,” Virgil called. He glanced at the clock on the microwave; as usual, Logan was home from work right on time, practically down to the minute. Virgil appreciated the fact that Logan was a creature of habit more than he knew how to put into words. The familiarity of Logan’s routines was a regular source of comfort to him.

Logan appeared in the kitchen doorway, smiling, something green and purple in his hand that Virgil vaguely registered but didn’t focus on. “Hello, dear.” He set down his briefcase—and god, Virgil was never going to be over how hilariously on-point it was that Logan had a fucking briefcase, not now after seven months of marriage and probably not ever—and crossed the room to kiss Virgil hello, his free arm easily sliding around Virgil’s waist and holding him close as gently as he had the first time they’d kissed.

Logan lingered in the kiss for longer than usual, though it stayed soft and sweet. Not that Virgil was complaining about any of that. He wrapped his arms a little more securely around his husband’s neck, rising up on his toes so his head was at a more comfortable angle.

Logan smiled and broke away at last, only to tip his head down and press his forehead against Virgil’s.

“You good, L?” Virgil asked, half laughing, reaching up to caress Logan’s cheek.

Logan nodded, humming assent. “I love you,” he said simply. He stepped back. “These are for you.” He offered the thing he’d been holding, which turned out to be a bouquet of purple flowers.

“I—thanks?” Virgil accepted the flowers, blinking down at them. Had something happened to prompt this? “I love you too.”

Logan nodded, leaning in to kiss Virgil’s cheek. “How can I help with dinner?”

“Uh, can you chop… things?” Virgil said, still preoccupied with the flowers. Was today something specific? Had he forgotten something?

“Certainly.” Logan pulled out a cutting board and knife. “We’re having that pasta salad you like, correct?”

Virgil nodded. “Mmhm.” October sixteenth… there wasn’t anything special on October sixteenth, right? Right?

Logan rummaged around in the fridge, pulling out cherry tomatoes and a bell pepper and the second half of a can of olives. The olives were stored in a reusable container, because Logan had casually rattled off the health risks of leaving food in open cans the first time he’d seen Virgil do it, and the next weekend Virgil had dragged him to the nearest slightly pretentious suburban outlet mall to buy a whole kitchen’s worth of storage containers.

Logan rinsed the tomatoes in a small colander and glanced over at Virgil, who was still standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at the flowers in his hands, mind racing. (Virgil couldn’t think of anything he was forgetting about today, but then, that was the thing about forgetting, wasn’t it?)

“I do not believe we own any vases, which I should have thought of; I’m sorry—but I think we have some jars on the top shelf that we could put those in,” Logan said. He reached up with one hand to the shelf in question and pulled down a jar, proffering it.

“Sure thing,” Virgil agreed, accepting the jar, in the back of his mind appreciating that Logan had clearly assessed his distress and tried to help, even if he’d misread what the actual problem Virgil was having was. “Cool cool. Cool cool cool. Um.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, set down the colander in the sink, and turned to give Virgil his full attention. “Is something wrong, dearest?” he asked, bringing the unspoken out into the open.

Virgil chewed on the inside of his cheek for only a beat. “Uh, how come you got me these?”

“The color reminded me of you,” Logan said, and Virgil began to relax. “And I believe flowers are considered a traditional anniversary gift,” he added, and Virgil panicked again.

Anniversary? It wasn’t their anniversary, right? Right? No, it definitely wasn’t. So what on earth was Logan talking about?

But Logan seemed to think this was all the explanation that was needed, turning back to the counter and beginning to slice the tomatoes in halves.

Virgil bit his lip and set the flowers down on the table so his hands were free to fill the jar with water. He set that down, too, and went to the cupboard to pull out a large bowl for the dinner to go in; he set it down on the counter beside Logan.

“Thank you, dear,” Logan said absently, transferring the small pile of tomato halves he had already accumulated into the bowl.

“Mmhm,” Virgil mumbled, heading back to the table and beginning to arrange the flowers in the jar. He had to snip quite a bit off of the long stems in order for them to sit properly in the jar, but after some shuffling, they didn’t look too bad at all.

Logan had gotten started on the bell pepper by now, and the pot on the stove had steam leaking from beneath the lid, hinting at the boiling water inside. Virgil pulled out the bag of dry pasta and the salt and began adding them to the pot.

“Hey, Lo?” he said cautiously, stirring the pasta in the pot.

“Yes, dearest?” Logan didn’t look up from the pepper he was dicing.

“Our anniversary—our wedding anniversary—is March 25. Right?” Virgil reached up and set a timer for the pasta on the microwave. They had been married at sunset in the garden outside the museum that they went to on their first date. Virgil had worn a black suit with a blue vest and tie, and elaborate black eyeliner reminiscent of a masquerade mask filled in with blue and purple eyeshadow, and Logan had worn a white suit with a purple shirt and bowtie.

“Yes, dear,” Logan agreed.

Virgil held back a sigh of relief that he hadn’t somehow totally misremembered. “And our boyfriends anniversary is December 6.” He had been the one to ask, nearly five years ago now. He had no idea he’d gotten the words out, sitting at a tiny table in the coffeeshop and holding hands across it as their third date drew to a close, but he’d somehow stammered out the question, and Logan had lit up and nodded so hard his glasses had slipped down his nose and nearly off his face before Virgil reached out and caught them.

“Yes.” Logan smiled to himself.

“And our first date was on November 13, and we got engaged on September 30. Yeah?”

Logan nodded. “All of that is correct. What—?”

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Okay, so this is probably totally stupid and obvious and I should know it already—”

“No, hey—” Logan began to protest.

Virgil forged on anyway. “—but what the fuck is it the anniversary of today?”

Logan blinked. “Oh.” He set down the knife beside the now fully chopped pepper.

Virgil cringed. “I know, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“No!” Logan interrupted. “No. I’m sorry for making you anxious, dear. I forgot. I don’t think I ever told you.”

That… was unexpected, and Virgil couldn’t quite figure out what it meant. “Uh. Never told me what?”

Logan glanced away, looking flustered. “I—well.” He looked back and reached over for Virgil’s hand, squeezing gently. “Five years ago today, I realized I loved you.”

All Virgil could do was stare for a moment, his chest filled with something achingly sweet at the sight of Logan’s earnest face, dark brown eyes searching Virgil’s as he clasped his hand reassuringly.

“Oh,” Virgil choked out, reaching for Logan’s other hand and squeezing back, feeling a smile stretch across his face. “Yeah?” He reached up, taking one of Logan’s hands with him, and caressed his husband’s cheek.

Logan glanced away again for a second, biting his lip, then brought his gaze back to Virgil’s. “Yes. I—I wrote it down. In my Notes app. And this year I set a reminder for it on my phone.”

Virgil let out a tiny laugh. “You did?”

“I did.” Logan nodded, a smile creeping onto his own face. “It was important.”

“You are such a nerd,” Virgil said, his voice shaking with emotion. He moved forward until the toes of his purple converse almost bumped into Logan’s plain black work shoes and reached up to wrap his arms around Logan’s neck. “I love you so much.”

Logan wrapped an arm easily around Virgil and cradled Virgil’s cheek in his other hand. “I love you too,” he murmured, his expression soft and tender and open and just for Virgil and perfect.

Virgil leaned up and kissed him, cupping the back of Logan’s head in both his hands and drawing him in closer as Logan kissed back, marveling yet again over the fact that Logan was his husband and he had somehow gotten lucky enough that this was the everyday they were creating together, this was the thing that was going to be ordinary for the rest of his life, and he was pretty sure he would never get enough of Logan and his thoughtfulness and the way he worked so hard to be vulnerable with Virgil and the way he kissed Virgil and his curiosity and passion for learning new things and everything about him, he was Virgil’s favorite everything and Virgil loved him so much—

The timer on the microwave went off, startling them both.

Logan was the first to start laughing, and that set Virgil off, pressing his face into Logan’s shoulder and giggling helplessly as Logan reached over to turn off the timer and then the stove, his other arm still holding Virgil close.

Virgil collected himself, gasping in a breath and forcing the laughter back into a fond grin. He pressed another, quicker, kiss to Logan’s mouth, then pulled away and reached for the potholders so he could drain the cooked pasta.

As Virgil set the now-empty pot back down on the stove, Logan touched his elbow to get his attention.

“Hm?” Virgil said, turning to face him.

“You are a wonder,” Logan breathed, pulling him close again and simply hugging him.

Virgil grinned, reaching up to touch Logan’s cheek and gazing into his eyes.

He had picked a pretty good person to build forever with.

[teddy06writes]

Greek Myth Series: Eros and Psyche Part One

Eret x afab! reader

trigger warnings: yelling, mentions of pregnancy

premise: so the story of Eros and Psyche is kinda complicated, and no that many people know it, if you want to find out about it in a different context you can here or if you want to go into this blind, go ahead.

list of Greek Gods/characters for this work

Eros- Eret

Aphrodite- Puffy

Zephyrus- Philza

Zeus- Dream

Pan- Tubbo

{I tried to keep this gender neutral, but in the myth Psyche does end up pregnant, and its kind of a big plot point, I'm sorry.}

{also I forgot how long this story is, so I'm going to split it in two, on one hand so that I don't leave yall without content, and two because it'll be easier for me that way}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a city state, long ago, near the sea, that was known for its beautiful royal family. The eldest daughters of the king had been considered the most beautiful in all of the land, until the youngest child, (y/n), came of age.

It is said that their beauty surpassed that of everyone in the kingdom, and where ever they went the people flocked, eager to earn their favor.

(y/n) knew of their beauty, but they did not look upon themself in vain, but they did know that this beauty caused jealousy among many, especially their sisters.

What they did not expect of this, was when the people of their kingdom began to worship them, as if they were the goddess of beauty, Puffy herself.

Now this was never something that (y/n) wanted, all they had wanted was to live a normal life, but now they had to stay shut up in their chambers, trying to ignore the cries from outside.

They were admired by all, yet wanted by none.

And as Puffy grew jealous, and planned with Eret to exact her revenge, (y/n)'s father sought help from the good oracle of Delphi, what was he to do if everyone in the land loved their looks, but no one wanted their hand in marriage.

As the months passed, and their chambers seemed to become even more like a prison and their sisters married other monarchs, (y/n) began to loath their beauty, wishing there was some way to be rid of it.

Having returned from his journey to Delphi, the king entered their chambers, "My child," Said he, "I have sought an answer, and answer, the oracle has given."

"And what answer is that?" (y/n) asked.

"In three days time we will hold your wedding," He took a shaky breath, "You are to be wedded to a dreadful monster, and in three days time, we will take you to the rock spire, at the edge of our kingdom, and leave you to him."

A gasp rippled through (y/n)'s throat, and they fell to their knees, "Father please don't leave me to die!"

He shook his head, "It is already done."

The three days passed in quick succession, and soon, (y/n) found themselves being led through the kingdom, dressed in a blackened wedding gown.

As their parents wept, they held their head high, having resigned to their fate.

Upon reaching the top of the spire, their family tearfully departed, leaving (y/n), wind whipping through their hair, dreadfully alone. Slowly, they inched closer to the edge, staring down to the rocky shore from which the pillar had grown.

A partially strong gust of wind caught them in the back, unexpected, and as they toppled over the side a scream ripped through their throat.

It took them a moment to realize that they had not made impact with the ground, that rather, they were floating, flying, being carried across the lands.

"Fear not," A disembodied voice assured them, "I am Philza, the west wind. No harm shall come to you."

(y/n) remained terrified until they were at last gently set upon the soft grass of a meadow.

"Go now, explore your new home." Philza urged.

Slowly, (y/n) moved forward, gaping as a huge villa came into view at the other end of the valley. As they drew further up the path, more disembodied voices greeted them.

"What is this place?" They asked softly, looking around in amazement.

"Why do you wonder so much of this finery? It is your own, do go inside, and rest and bath, and then there shall be a great feast." A soft, breezy voice returned.

Hesitantly, they did, enjoying a fresh bath, and much food and entertainment, but slowly, as night began to fall, the gayety died away, and they were urged to get ready for bed.

Having changed into night clothes, and climbed into bed, the lights were dimed by unseen servants, and they were told, "Rest now dear, your husband shall arrive soon."

"My husband?" They asked, confused, but there came no answer.

They laid awake, anxiously, until footsteps sounded on the floor.

"Who are you?" They demanded.

There was a soft chuckle, "Worry not, sweet (y/n), I am not here to hurt you. A husband should never have such intentions with his betrothed."

"Who are you?" They asked again, shuffling away as a weight settled on the other side of the bed.

"Your wife," she repeated, "I must admit, I didn't think of the consequence you might have faced upon hearing that dreadful fake of a prophecy. My dear, I am sorry, but could find no other way to take you away from the prying eyes of some."

Slowly, he retold the story, of how he had fallen in love with them, for the way that they had carried their burden, and when she had heard the plans of many, that they had to get them away.

"Alas, my sweet, you may not know my name, nor may you ever be permitted to see me, for it might tear us apart. For that, I am sorry."

There was a note of sadness in his voice, enough to tug at something in (y/n)s chest.

~~

He had away-ed at dawn, long before (y/n) awoke, leaving them to their thoughts of what had happened that night.

The following days seemed to follow the same pattern, until soon a week had passed, and then the weeks began to blend into months.

Back in the kingdom, in which (y/n) had lived, word had reached their sisters of what had happened, and each day they began to gather at the spire, calling for them, wishing they hadn't disappeared.

But, their husband warned them, that even though (y/n) could hear there voices, they must never call back, and the sisters may never be allowed into the valley.

For some time, (y/n) worked to comply, but hearing the despair in their sisters voice wore them down slowly, to the point where even when they were remind of how cruel the women could be, they did not care, and only wanted to see them again.

It got to a point, where one day, after their husband had left, they slowly crept from the villa, and dashing across the valley, called to Philza, begging him to take their sisters to the valley.

"Are you sure, (y/n)?" He asked.

"Yes, please, I'd do anything to see them again!" They begged.

Reluctantly, Philza's winds carried the sisters to the valley, where (y/n) embraced them, "My sisters! Don't weep! I'm safe!"

They hugged them back just as tightly, before letting go and looking around at the valley, and the villa.

"You live here?" The eldest asked.

"Yes, it is my husbands villa." They replied with a smile, "Come, I'll give you the tour, and then we may walk the gardens."

As the siblings moved from room to room, and (y/n) gave their tour, the sisters became increasingly jealous.

They had been married to old men, hardly holding onto their titles as king, why should their little sibling get all of this?

Soon, they were seated in the garden, nibbling on the food the servants had prepared.

"You certainly live in luxury (y/n)." The middle sister remarked.

They nodded, "Yes, I suppose I do."

"How does your husband afford all this? What does he do?" The elder asked.

"Well..." They trailed off, thinking, "I'm not sure."

"You mean you don't know?"

Slowly, (y/n) explained what had happened, and their husbands conditions of never being seen.

"Oh (y/n), honey," she pulled a sympathetic face, "He's clearly hiding something from you, and such a shame, you being pregnant with his child."

They glanced down at their stomach, they weren't showing that much, were they?

"It might turn out to be a monster, for all you know. You've never even seen him."

"No! He's not a monster!" They insited.

The sisters continued to build up the idea of their husband lying, or disguising himself, both in a subtle agreement to ruin everything (y/n) had.

"he's not!"

Frowning, one sister leaned forward and patted her hand, "Maybe, but you don't know. Just to be sure, when he has gone to sleep tonight, light a lantern, and look at him, just to be sure."

"I think you should go." (y/n)s voice was hard, and soon Philza was returning them to the kingdom from which they had came.

Night returned, and along with it, their husband.

She had fallen quickly to sleep, though (y/n) lay awake, their sisters voices filling their mind.

What if they were married to a monster?

Slowly, shakily, they rose, and finding a lamp, carefully lit it, before turning to their wife's side of the bed.

In the flickering lantern light, (y/n) beheld their husband for the first time, dark brown hair falling in curls about their head, and large feathered flings pooling at her back.

They gasped in amazement, turning to find a set of quiver and arrows at the foot of the bed, suddenly it made sense. The bow, the inhuman beauty- they had wed the god of desire, Eret.

Some how, all at once, they fell in love, toppling over the metaphorical cliff they had stood near for sometime, as the lamp suddenly felt to heavy for their hands.

Shaking, they moved to set it down, but not before a drop of oil spilled, landing on the gods shoulder.

In a cry of pain, she awoke, and looked up at (y/n) with wide eyes.

Without another word, they stood, gathered their things and began to leave, as they had come flying through the open windows.

"No! Please don't leave! I love you!" (y/n) cried, seizing his arm.

"You fool!" He roared, dragging them along with her, "I risked everything! I went I against mine own mother! She told me to punish you! and yet I fell in love! I created all this! All of this just to get you away from her prying eyes!

"Now the magic is fading you poor poor fool! She will find you now! You won't have much time! You- you listened to your sisters didn't you! They wanted this! I told you to not listen to them! You lie! Regard me as some beast to peak on in the night!" At last they shook (y/n) off, and they went tumbling to the ground.

"No love can exist with out trust."

With that they flew away, leaving (y/n)s cries for her to stay. And Leaving (y/n) alone, so terribly alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag list: (send a request to be added, it will only be for this series)

@dreamslittlebitch

[windmaedchen-fairytail]

I drew this back in June but never dared to post it, because... well... OC-reception-fears, I guess. xD You gotta drag it all out of my nose, sadly which you are more then welcome to do! Or you gotta wait for ages, then maybe I'll post things once I am less afraid.

Anyway. Ivan may truly not have done all that much evil to Fairy Tail as a whole but at least one person has suffered in their name.

Below I just copy the short drabble I had on AO3 for ages now, in which Ivan truly shows his abusive side for the first time. If you haven't read it, enjoy (as much as possible given the context xD ).

warning: description of mild physical abuse and degradation through nudity (but nothing more)

His Other Side

“You asked them about Lumen Histoire?!”

Ivan put his cup down so suddenly the coffee spilled onto the saucer beneath it. Astra was a little surprised about the force of the older mages reaction and frowned a little.

“Well, yeah, that was already 2 weeks ago or so. They had no idea what I meant and probably already forgot about it. No need to break your crockery.”

Ivan raised an eyebrow, tightened his lips and strangely stared at her for longer than she found comfortable. This was new. He was usually so light-hearted about everything, grinning his day away and chuckling over everything. She didn’t quite know what to expect from this.

“Uhm, what’s wrong? I actually wanted to surprise you with my help but now you make me feel like I just murdered your coffee.”

Astra chuckled a bit but quickly composed herself as she saw no change at all in Ivan’s expression. Something was clearly wrong, for this would have guaranteed a smile on his lips before. It seems that he was very clearly busy with his own thoughts so with a bit of red on her cheeks Astra apologised.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”, she inquired softly.

Ivan averted his eyes and fixated the glass of water in front of him instead. He slowly extended his arm to grab it. Astra watched him pick it up and gently circle it in his hands. When Ivan suddenly thrust his arm out, forcing the contents of the glass to spill into her direction, she failed to cover her face in time.

With a shriek Astra got up, pushing the heavy chair back. She staggered a few steps around the chair to take cover behind it, while also trying to dry her face with the sleeves of her cardigan.

“Please don’t!”, she begged breathlessly. Her heart raced as she felt the dreaded wet run down around her neck as well. Why on earth would he have done that? He knew how she felt about water, he had told him all about it. Along with her tense body, she immediately felt her magic dry up, crumble and fail. She heard Ivan push back his own chair and noticed through her sleeves how he came closer to her. Embarrassed over her sudden incapacity to defend herself she kept herself hidden behind the chair.

“Ivan, please don’t, please.”

“My dear little Astrape…”, she heard his soft voice. He sounded so soothing and reassuring. Despite her urge to move away from whoever had dealt the blow of water, she found the strength to remain where she was. He was her friend, after all. She shivered from the cooling effect of the water and was thankful for the warmth of Ivan’s hand as he gently placed it on her right cheek. She looked up to him as he continued to speak.

“I am afraid there is something I need to tell you for we wouldn’t want you to make the same mistake twice, would we now, hm?”

“Yeah, of course. But why the water?” Astra felt her lower lip quiver and she had to compose herself to avoid crying in front of him. Water unsettled her even by accident and Ivan head done this on purpose. Why?

“Hush. I need you to listen.”

“Wait, Ivan, please, why di--”

Ivan had moved his thumb onto to her left cheek and harshly squeezed her face between his fingers. His palm lay over her mouth so she couldn’t speak and breathing through her nostrils was difficult against his hand. It rather hurt her so she instantly tried to pry away his hand but Ivan’s grip was iron. She wiggled and tried to tear herself away, but he just wouldn’t let go. He began to push her backwards and Astra struggled to keep up with him. When she felt the wall on her back, Ivan finally lifted his hold.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, god, Ivan, that hurt! That really hurt me.”

He stayed close in front of her, so when Astra bend forwards in pain, gently rubbing her cheeks and catching her breath, her head brushed against the seams of his cloak.

“Hmmm, yes, I suspect it did, but really that was your own fault. I said I needed you to listen, did I not?”

Ivan sounded so empathetic and while she had no reason to doubt him previously, right now Astra wondered how sincere he was. How could it be her own fault that he grabbed her so harshly? He also still hasn’t told her what she did wrong either.

Anger dwelled up inside of her and ignoring the emerging tears in her eyes, she sternly looked up into his face, clenching her fists in defiance.

“Then why won’t you just explain yourself?”

The warmth in Ivan’s eyes disappeared and instead a very different man was staring down on her. That gaze alone chipped away Astra’s resolve. Something was seriously wrong.

In a flash, Ivan lifted his right hand and slapped her across the face. If her cheeks weren’t hurting yet, they certainly did now. The stinging pain and subsequent heat on her left side spread all over her face and she thought it even reached down her neck. The wall provided support as she felt her knees soften. Astra wasn’t sure what to do first: breathe, stabilise herself, protect her face against more strikes or beg Ivan to stop.

She couldn’t do any of those options, as Ivan didn’t wait for a reaction and instantly summoned an army of shikigami that laid over her shoulders, pinning her upright against the wall. When she felt his fingertips gently touching her hairline, she finally noticed how air-starved she was and heavily gasped for air. She couldn’t move her torso at all and her arms were stuck against the wall. Astra could however move her head and shook it to evade Ivan’s touch.

“Don’t you think it’s time to listen to me? You are making this so needlessly hard for yourself”, he urged her.

Astra didn’t agree with that. She was listening if only he bothered to tell her! She really looked up to him and was so thankful for all his help and advice, she had just wanted to return the favour. Being unaware of how she has offended him and receiving such unexpected, unwarranted treatment confused her and made her feel helpless. More tears filled her eyes again.

“Please stop this, Ivan. I really AM listening to you”, she begged him.

He carefully watched her over, as if assessing her level of attention to him. He sighed and guided a strand of hair back behind her ear.

“I fear not yet, my dear. But you will listen to me, I am sure of it.”

“Bu—” Astra was about to protest but a few shikigami covered her mouth and forced it shut. She mumbled against the paper but nothing was understandable.

Ivan’s hand brushed from her ear, over her cheek down to her neck. Astra tried to evade but couldn’t due to the shikigami holding her in place. When he reached her collar bone, Ivan felt the fabric of her cardigan and got hold of it, pulling it away from her skin. In less than a second the whole cardigan was gone. Instead of fabric, Ivan crumbled up paper in his hand, before letting it drop onto the floor.

Before Astra realised that he had turned the cardigan into a paper doll, he had gently touched the rim of her black string top and done the very same.

Ivan looked down on her, evaluating his actions. Astra’s cheeks reddened even more over this humiliation and she tried to protest verbally once more. He tilted his had and looked apologetic at the struggling young woman.

“That won’t do just yet. You really should start to listen, girl.”

Without waiting for a response Ivan lowered his hand further down and to Astra’s horror, she felt his touch on her hips. She didn’t even have time to react, gone were the trousers she wore and she stood in nothing but her underwear in his office.

Ivan placed his left hand above her head and leaned down to her a little. He didn’t say anything and his gaze was cold. Astra wordlessly tried to beg him to stop with her eyes and even more desperately so when she felt the fingertips of Ivan’s right hand on the string of her bra. Tears ran down her burning cheeks when she felt the bra gone. Astra shook her head and closed her eyes as if she could hide from the situation in the darkness behind her lids. What if someone came in? What if Ivan didn’t stop with stripping her naked? The young woman struggled to refrain from sobbing. Breathing was hard enough through just her nose. In her mind she begged him over and over again to stop.

In reality, he was not yet finished. Her heart sank even more and her chest tensed up when she felt one of his fingers slip inside the top seam of her panties. She tried to look up but due to the tension in her throat all she could do was cry when Ivan dropped the paper version of her underwear to the ground.

The shikigami over her mouth now disappeared and loud sobs filled the office. Astra’s shoulders started to throb under her weight, as she tried to move her legs, attempting to hide her shame from direct view. She just wanted this to stop.

“Ivan…”, she moaned through her sobs.

“Yes?”, he replied gently. He took her chin and lifted her head so they could look at each other. His expression had found warmth again and yet it was pity with which he looked down upon her. She studied his dark grey eyes for a moment, pondering in her misery what to say. He wanted her to listen… maybe it was best, if indeed she did nothing else. So she remained silent.

Ivan caressed her cheeks on which slowly dark red spots appeared where he had held her tightly moments ago. He nodded in approval.

“Very well, I shall tell you.”

His hand remained gently but firm on her face and all traces of warmth had yet again disappeared from his own.

“You will NOT – EVER – talk about Lumen Histoire to ANYONE again. You will also NEVER – AGAIN – take actions around Lumen Histoire by YOURSELF. And you will most certainly NEVER – FAIL – to report to me EVERYTHING you hear or otherwise learn about Lumen Histoire IMMEDIATELY. Do you understand?!”

“Yes, sir.”

Astra responded obediently. She wanted to know very badly what Lumen Histoire actually was but she was also absolutely certain that right now was NOT a good moment to ask.

Ivan let go of her and released the shikigami by her shoulders. He turned on his heels and made his way back to his seat, resuming to drink his coffee.

Astra immediately knelt down on the floor, covering her chest with her arms. She somehow didn’t feel like crying any longer but she couldn’t control her shivering. She was incredibly cold.

“Well, I do have some more questions. Why won’t you come back to the table and enjoy a coffee yourself? There is still more here.”

Ivan’s mood appeared to have found a reset and he rather casually invited the young woman back to his side. He didn’t seem bothered by the slightest that she sat embarrassed, humiliated and shivering by the wall. Astra glanced over to him. Was she allowed to talk normally now?

“I, uh… I have no clothes…”, she carefully reminded him.

“Ah, yes. Bring your paper clothes over and I’ll return them to normal.” He beckoned with one hand.

Astra sighed. That was more like Ivan’s usual nonchalant way. To her left was the sofa and she was able to just about reach a light blanket hanging over the edge. She swung the fabric over her shoulders and then carefully picked up the scattered paper pieces of her clothing.

========== END

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s R&S - Stunning Young Idol (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (惊艳的少年偶像领军人物) was part of the Dream Heart Lake event which will unlikely come to EN🍒

Context: An article in a Japanese magazine

Cancelled Kiro R&S:

> top experimental subject (by another user)

> stunning young idol ♡

> youthhood

> heaven’s home for children (by another user)

[ Chapter 1 ] 

Our interview with Kiro went very pleasantly. No one who attended the interview disliked him. Even our photographer, who has always been averse to young male idols, was full of praise.

Come to think of it, it’s no easy feat for this child to maintain such a transparent and innocent heart in an industry where crooks mix with honest folks. Readers who know him are definitely aware that he debuted in France at the age of six.

Back then, he accepted an interview in Paris for a television program. His tiny frame was seated in the large sofa, his legs not long enough to touch the floor, and were dangling in the air.

Many people were afraid that we wouldn’t be able to find this precious video clip. It was only through the recording Agent Savin sent that we could obtain this young and tender moment of Kiro.

Although the video clip has already been kept by Kiro’s agency and not accessible to the public, I can disclose it slightly through this interview.

The person who interviewed Kiro was Eva Saidel, a French female singer who was tremendously popular for a time. The beautiful Eva had asked Kiro if he could perform a song for her. Young Kiro nodded, obedient and filled with a gentlemanly demeanour as he responded, “Yes ma’am.”

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

Kiro performed Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”. It wasn’t surprising that he liked Beethoven - all pianists definitely like Beethoven.

Saidel asked if he knew how to play other instruments. He replied by saying he also knew the violin, but was afraid that his neck would become crooked if he kept practising it. Everyone at the scene started laughing. Ms Saidel laughed excessively as well, and it was evident that she liked this child very much.

At the time, Kiro was wearing an adorable checkered shirt and a small, adorable hat. He even wore an official-looking tie. His cute appearance was sure to attract the attention of many.

A large proportion of Europeans knew of a mixed-race child who spoke fluent French, and would occasionally appear on the television to sing for them, or play classical pieces. They also gradually knew that his name was “Kiro” - this was a stage name he called himself when he debuted.

Eva Saidel, who had once interviewed him, liked him very much. Kiro said that he would always remember Ms Saidel’s luxurious and spotlessly white mansion. He would sit on the sofa in the mansion and listen to the old albums played by Ms Saidel.

Saidel also hired an incredibly renowned celloist from France to teach Kiro how to play the cello. I think many people don't know about this period from his past.

As of today, Saidel is already in her sunset years, and still remains in contact with Kiro.

When Kiro held a concert in Paris last month, the first person he invited as a guest was Saidel. He also played the song “Träumerei” using the cello she gave him.

“Back then, it was as though I returned to my childhood years. Ms Saidel is very kind, like a mother. She is extremely giving towards me.”

-

[ Chapter 3 ]

After junior high school in France, Kiro listened to Ms Saidel’s advice and studied in a high school in California. The intelligent Ms Saidel predicted everything - Kiro’s talent would be discovered very quickly.

After one performance, he was signed on with the renowned Warner Music Company. At the time, he was in Year Three, but never forgot his homework, and even entered Berkeley University with stellar results.

By the time he was in Year 4 (in contrast to Japan, high school in America spans four years, while elementary school spans five), he had already formed a band and was touring in various places. Warner Music is an experienced company with incredible foresight, and they allowed Kiro to return to France to begin his music career.

The number of fans Kiro had in Europe was astounding. The women in Europe found his mixed-race looks and his breathtaking voice unforgettable. Their concerts drew large crowds, and it would sometimes be difficult to obtain tickets. 90% of the females were there for Kiro. Such attractive force was rarely seen.

Actually, when we were interviewing Kiro, we could also feel the charisma he exuded. It’s a kind of magic which renders people unable to resist.

With just a smile, he easily won our hearts.

We have no idea why that’s the case. Perhaps it’s because he’s Kiro. 

-

On the topic of whether he gleaned anything from his four years in Berkeley University, Kiro spoke without reservation and commented that he felt a lot of stress as there were many elite students. Hence, he had to fork out even more effort than usual to face each examination.

When he was in Year Three, Kiro continued touring with the band. He disclosed that he used to do his homework on the plane. When his band was touring the entirety of Europe, his band members would spend their spare time exploring the picturesque towns while Kiro would be holding his books and revising in the hotel.

When we asked why he was so hardworking, he replied by saying that he didn’t want his professors to stop liking him because of a drop in his grades.

In reality, every teacher who has met him like him very much. But because of this, Kiro always remained in fear. From beginning to end, he felt that the love and care from people was akin to smoke - surging at first, but dissipates gradually.

-

[ Chapter 4 ] 

Kiro told us that he had felt very scared when he made the sudden decision to return to China after graduating from university. After all, there were many excellent artistes in China, and he was afraid that he wouldn’t receive love from fans.

But reality is always unexpected. His act of returning to China to develop was extremely correct. It allowed people in Asia to notice his radiant light. The artiste from China that the media in Korea likes reporting on the most is Kiro. Every now and then, he would cause a sensation there, but they would be for issues that aren’t important.

In Japan, he truly stirred a sensation through “Three Kingdoms”, a movie he was in half a year ago. He played the role of Sun Ce.

“The History of the Three Kingdoms” enjoyed widespread popularity in Japan.

This movie adaptation of “Three Kingdoms” was incredibly well received in Japan, and everyone was enthusiastic about the contents of the movie.

Even now, Kiro can recall how life was like with the cast and crew. in order to play the role of Sun Ce, he had to dye his golden coloured hair black, wear headgear, don extremely thick armour, and he had to put on brown contact lenses. His headgear was very cumbersome and heavy. If it hadn’t fit, it would have squeezed and pressed on his head, turning him into a “Flat Kiro”.

In the process of filming “Three Kingdoms”, his favourite scenes were the ones where he was on a horse, because the horse could help share the weight of his armour, and the horse would always end up gasping for air. His most deeply etched memory was when he didn’t control the amount of pressure when riding the horse, causing it to toss him onto the ground. His chest was almost trampled by the horse, and he almost lost his life.

He rarely shares this incident with others. “It’d be so embarrassing if other people knew about it,” he laughed while telling this to us. Even now, I can still remember his brilliant smile. “The agent gave me a scolding after he found out about it. The director and assistant director also said that I had angered the horse, which is why it took revenge on me.”

Afterwards, the crew and cast from “Three Kingdoms” specially came to Japan to promote the movie. During that time, “Three Kingdoms” ranked number one in the box-office ratings. And this was even though Kiro didn’t have many scenes in the movie - he only made an appearance for ten minutes.

But because of this short opportunity, movie fans in Japan started to know of Kiro. Looks like our meeting with Kiro was also destined.

He said he could never forget the image of how numerous fans rushed to Haneda Airport to receive him when the crew and cast just arrived in Tokyo.

Kiro confessed that he had never thought that he’d receive such a large fanbase in a foreign country.

The enthusiasm of the fans in Japan caused him to feel extremely flattered. And his trip to Japan this time was no exception. There were even more fans who received him at the airport than before.

Precisely because of this astounding attractive force, Kiro became a superstar who could perform in the Tokyo Dome. 

-

[ Chapter 5 ]

At this point, I think everyone has some basic understanding of this adorable boy. He isn’t just a pretty face (even though there are many such artistes nowadays).

I highly recommend his latest single, “Ash”, which has a somewhat heavy metal rock music style. But he has recently started shifting towards pop music, and has clearly stated that he would spend even more time on music, and would temporarily reject a few invitations to variety shows or television dramas.

This means that for now, we might not see an invigorated Kiro on television screens. Fans will definitely grieve over this, but there’s no need to be too upset, because Kiro will bring a new album to us. During the interview, he revealed that the first song in his new album would be a heavy bomb!

The composer who was involved in producing this song also noted that this song could potentially alter what “popular music” is in Asia.

So, let’s look forward to the surprises this youth will bring us, and letting us know from this interview --

That we should never underestimate this youth.

The concert at the Tokyo Dome will commence a week later. Although tickets have already been swept up, there’s no need to feel discouraged. This magazine still has a lucky draw activity for fans. We will select three lucky readers and give out three front-row tickets to the concert at the Tokyo Dome. More information can be found on our official website.

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

[aylinaliens]

One invisible gold thread (tied me to you) — Chapter 1

Fandom: 2Gether

Pairings: Earn/Pear, Pear/Air, Sarawat/Tine, Ohm/Fong

Summary: Soulmate did not always equate to romance, most spend their lives together as platonically. That is exactly what Earn thought would happen with Pear—but as they spent more time together in person, Earn struggles to calm the raging storm of emotions in her heart. Soon enough, Earn finds herself drawn in like a moth to a flame, Pear’s soft bubblegum pink cardigan and bright eyes serving as balm to her soul. At first, Earn just denies what she feels inside, claiming that the only reason her throat closed up when she was in the proximity of the soft-spoken medical student was because of indigestion. As Earn spends more time with her soulmate, she begins to struggle with understanding the intricacies of her own sexuality, but realization never actually dawns on her until she finds out someone was actively pursuing Pear. That was when Earn starts to come to turns with her feelings...but it was too late now. Right?

Word Count: 1779

Notes: in honor of 2gether the movie being announced i have decided to finally post this because let’s be honest...gmmtv is going to clown on us earnpear shippers again. i typically hate love triangles but dear uranus has made me realize that wlw!love triangles are God Tier so thus this fic was born. hope you like tropes because !! this fic will have it all. soulmates? roommates? fake dating? mutual pining? friends to lovers? unrequited love? bed sharing? friends with benefits? it’s what these sapphics deserve

Read the first chapter on Ao3 or down below!

+

Curiously, Earn lifted her arm and brought it closer to her face so she could examine it. Sarawat obviously understood what was happening, also recently finding his soulmate, so he just leaned back in his seat, sipping on his drink, and quietly observing the own messages on his forearm.

After nearly seven minutes of waiting Pear was done and it was...definitely not doodle of a cat. No, it was something else.

“Oh god. Did she draw a penis?”

Sarawat choked on his drink in surprise. “What?” He gaped. “What did you just say?”

“I said my soulmate just drew an anatomically correct penis on my arm.”

A familiar fluttering sensation cursed through Earn’s body, signaling another message has appeared. She was mid conversation with Sarawat in the process of telling him what time their gig for tomorrow was but never got to.

Full of excitement and butterflies Earn quickly yanked her sleeve up—it’s been thirty six hours since her soulmate last sent a message. It was normal for Pear to disappear for days on end so Earn was used to the delayed reply.

As she glanced down at her forearm she expected to see a reply to the conversation she asked a few days ago but instead it was a drawing.

Once again no big deal—Pear was artistic. She had always sent doodles to Earn.

However, this drawing was not simply just of animals or flowers. She couldn’t exactly tell what it was right now because Pear was still drawing it.

Curiously, Earn lifted her arm and brought it closer to her face so she could examine it. Sarawat obviously understood what was happening, also recently finding his soulmate, so he just leaned back in his seat, sipping on his drink, and quietly observing the own messages on his forearm.

After nearly seven minutes of waiting Pear was done and it was...definitely not doodle of a cat. No, it was something else.

“Oh god. Did she draw a penis?”

Sarawat choked on his drink in surprise. “What?” He gasped. “What did you just say?”

“I said my soulmate just drew an anatomically correct penis on my arm.”

Sarawat looked shocked and positively scandalized but he was not the only one. Earn was just as confused. She held her arm up for him to see and after a few seconds of studying it he came to the same conclusion.

“She drew an anatomically correct penis on your arm. With labels. Why did she send you an anatomically correct penis on your arm?”

Earn lifted her shoulder up in a shrug, leaning down to rummage through her bag to find a pen. Once she did she yanked the cap off and scribbled a quick message.

um...is there like context or a reason that you drew that?

She waited awhile for a reply, staring intently down at her arm for any new piece of ink. It did not matter how long she waited it never came. At least a reply to that question never came. As she studied her arm for what seem like forever the conversation with Sarawat died away.

He knew she was far too preoccupied with with waiting for a message to appear. He was probably the only one in the band who could truly understand what Earn was feeling since he was the only one who had recently discovered his soulmate mark.

Tine was terrible, if not more so, at replying in a timely matter. Sometimes Tine would wait hours just to answer back with a single letter, either forgetting to reply or simply not noticing it.

So Earn waited. Minute after minute. Nothing. Just as she was about to give up that familiar fluttering sensation came back, making her heart soar.

But it was not a reply to Earn’s question. No. It wasn’t even a word.

It was just a smaller anatomically correct penis that was colored in instead of labeling.

Earn pursed her lips in bewilderment but decided that she obviously would not get a reply any time soon.

“I don’t know.” She admitted, shrugging once more. “I really don’t know.”

The first Earn noticed her soulmate mark she was seventeen. She had gym during school today so in between classes she hoped in the shower for a quick rinse off. She didn’t notice any ink nor did she feel abnormal as she scrubbed the dirt and sweat away.

It was afterwards, when she was towel drying her body and trying to slip back on her uniform that she saw pink ink near her wrist.

Confusion coursed through her as she brought her arm toward the light for a better look. She didn’t remember writing anything on her arms.

At first Earn didn’t quite understood what it said due to how faint it was but the longer she stared the more she could understand it.

Mitochondria is the powerhouse cell.

She was shocked, that was sure, but she didn’t have time to think too critically about it because the bell signifying her next class was about to begin snapped her out of it.

Earn forgot about that day in the shower for a few weeks. She knew that soulmates and soul marks were real but it never registered to Earn that was what it was. She didn’t have a soulmate. No way did she have a soulmate. Earn just...forgot that she wrote that. Yeah. That is exactly what happened.

It wasn’t until she was laying in bed one day, laptop perched on her lap as she hummed along to her favorite band, that the memory of that day came flooding back.

A stinging sensation started at the base of her spine and slowly traveled up until her fingertips were tingling and her her throat was constricting. Soon enough the sensation had made its way all over he body, from her fingertips to her toes Earn felt it.

It didn’t hurt, quite the opposite, but it was enough to pause what she was doing.

Then the stinging feeling evaporated into thin air. It was like it never happened. Instead it was replaced by something akin to butterflies but vastly more intense.

A half done math equation appeared near her elbow. A math equation Earn never even learned.

A few beats of silence passed before more ink appeared. It was of a cartoon bunny holding up a sign that that had a phrase on it: Susu Pear!

Earn could no longer pretend like she forgot about writing on her arm. No. This was a soulmate mark.

She practically threw off her laptop off and hastily scrambled out of bed to her desk to grab a pen. Once she found one she tore off the cap and scribbled out a word, feeling as if her heart would leap out of her chest.

hello?

Earn waited for a reply what seemed like years but in reality it was only half a minute.

...hello?

Oh god. Oh my god. She had a soulmate.

None of her friends of family got their soulmate marks yet so she was utterly confused on what to do next. She could search the web for answers but she was scared that her soulmate would disappear.

cute bunny drawing. is your name pear?

The reply was almost instantaneously, showing up before Earn even finished her own message.

thank you! yes, my name is pear. what’s your name?

Before Earn could reply again Pear wrote something else back, just below her previous message.

you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! i know that some people ignore their soulmate marks.

Butterflies erupted in Earn’s stomach once again but this time it was not because of the ink. Soulmate. Pear just confirmed it. There was no backing out of it now.

my name is earn and...i don’t want to ignore this. unless...you want to?

no! i don’t want to ignore this. i want to um, get to know you. can we do that?

of course. what do you want to know?

everything.

That’s exactly what Earn did, she told Pear everything. Not that night but over the next few years they essentially bared their souls to each other in every sense of the word. Sometimes they would write whole entire essays to each other, forced to erase the earlier conversations or come up with new creative places to write. Sometimes they would send doodles back in forth.

After a few months of talking when the two settled into a comfortable routine, somehow becoming each others biggest supporters. Before every exam, Pear would send Earn the same little cartoon bunny cartoon drawing. Every time the message on the poster was different.

susu earn!

you can do it.

good luck!

earn! you got this!

i'm always rooting for you!

you got this, babe!

Sometimes the messages were so cheesy that Earn felt color flood her cheeks and often never replied because she didn’t know what to say. She would feign innocence when this happened, claiming she was just so nervous about her exam that she forgot to reply.

It was ridiculous—she was so tongue tied and bashful over the same messages you would find on motivational stickers. If anyone else drew these things Earn would think it was dumb but because it was from Pear she thought it utterly adorable.

Earn in return took up to expanding Pear’s musical knowledge and interests. She would use her arms to write down random bits of lyrics she thought of instead of on paper. Pear always took care to never erase those lyrics until Earn gave her the green light.

However, most of the time they just talked. About anything. About nothing. After a few years went by of this Earn grew fond of the soulmate she knew virtually everything yet nothing about.

Unlike most people who got soulmate marks she dated. It was nothing serious, it never was, but she got to experience many different firsts.

Pear, on the other hand, apparently never dated—before or after the soulmate mark appeared—swearing she was far too busy with trying to get into college and than medical school to date. Besides, she wrote one day, I have you. That’s enough.

Messages like that always left Earn melting into a puddle of goo. The thing with soulmates is that they didn’t exactly have to be romantic. Hundreds of thousands of soulmates got their mark but decided to just stay platonic. That’s exactly what Earn thought would happen to them.

It’s not as if she never thought about them in a romantic sense, Earn did more than she cared to admit, but she would always quickly shake out of when she realized that it would never between them too like that.

It has been almost four years and neither of them has asked to meet yet. Surely if they wanted to meet each other they could of. At the start they found out that they only lived three hours apart. After they began college, Earn and Pear found out that they were even closer to each other.

Yet they always managed to skirt around that topic. It would happen one day or it never will Earn wrote one day either way let's just stay like this while we wait for that day to come.

[effyodrama]

YandereDev stole and made fun of some little kid’s art...

Or at least, that’s what the anti-YandereDev crowd is claiming THIS week. According to them, he recolored a drawing made by a 10-year-old girl, claimed that it was fanart that someone sent him, and proceeded to make fun of it in one of his videos. So they decided to do a bunch of fanart of this character, try to convince DrApeis to include it in Love Letter as a character named Arya Codinson (no, seriously), and try to get in touch with the original artist so that they can send their love. And yet again, the truth behind this situation amounts to a huge pile of nothing being blown completely out of proportion...

First off, there’s the context behind the whole thing. About four years ago, YandereDev made a video talking about how the number of people who have been sending him less-than-helpful emails has been slowing down development. Here is the clip featuring the art in question:

As you can tell, he is not making fun of a piece of alleged fanart. He never even implies that the picture IS fanart. He’s using an image that looks like it was drawn by a little kid as an example to illustrate how the volunteer requests he’d get often came from people whose artistic talents fell far below his quality standards.

Aside from that, there are a few other things that need to be addressed about this. First of which is the fact that you won’t find this particular video on YandereDev’s channel. He deleted it a long time ago. As far as I know he hasn’t addressed this, so I don’t know the reason why it was deleted. But if I were to hazard a guess: I’d assume that it was either because his policy regarding emails has largely changed in the four years since the video was made, or because he felt that its overall tone was far too negative toward his fanbase. Either way, the fact that people are demonizing him over something they claimed he did in a video that’s been deleted is a little ridiculous.

Beyond that, the way the story is being framed is equally ridiculous. These people are making this claim as though he was publicly humiliating a little kid because their art was trash. Now to be fair, the person in question was a 9-year-old girl when she originally posted that picture... in 2012. On a blog that was abandoned in 2013. So now we have people who are crying out for YanDev’s blood over an old picture drawn by someone who is likely 18 now and has probably completely forgotten that said picture even exists. And then they obsessed over it. They named it. They drew fanart of it. They appropriated it as a symbol for their obsessive hatred for YanDev. They made posts trying to find out how to contact her. They demanded justice for this girl because “that mean ol’ pedophile con-artist who can’t take criticism made fun of a drawing she made when she was a little kid”.

And this all leads to what I feel is the most fucked part of this story: They found her.

Let me repeat that. These people saw a random picture in a deleted 4-year-old video, learned that it was a recolor of a little girl’s drawing from 8 years ago, scoured the entire internet looking for said girl... AND. THEY. FOUND. HER.

Am I the only one who sees how insanely fucking creepy this is? These people spent an entire week tracking down a person based on personal information from a long-abandoned blog, checking email addresses, and going down a chain of old acquaintances that eventually led to them cyberstalking her friends and family; just to tell her that she was the victim of a person that she never heard of who “made fun of” a decade-old drawing that she completely forgot existed. Why? Because they are so desperately obsessed with destroying YanDev’s reputation that they went on a straight-up manhunt to find someone that they could paint as a victim.

So apparently, if you do literally anything that can be associated with YandereDev in any way, you’re not safe. These people have demonstrated that they will go to any length to find someone if they think they can weaponize them against their target. Boundaries mean nothing to them. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what you did, or how long ago you did it.

They will find you...

[daleisgreat]

Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper

A few months ago I covered the DVD set WWE released chronicling the ‘unseen’ matches of “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Today I continue that trend covering those lines of DVD collections with 2019’s Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper (trailer). Like with WWE’s other ‘unreleased’ line of home videos, all the matches and segments featured in here have never been released on video before. With WWE already releasing a comprehensive three-disc DVD set to Piper with 2006’s Born to Controversy, that means we are getting a collection full of deep cuts here. This two disc DVD is compiled similarly to the Randy Savage set where we get original, newly recorded interviews intersperse with the archival content. The interviews are from Piper mega-fan, “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey which are mixed in with archived home video interviews with Piper for added context. There are six sets of Rousey interviews, and they are sporadically inserted throughout the collection which also features 19 matches, nine promos and 12 editions of Piper’s legendary interview show, Piper’s Pit. WWE has established that Rousey is essentially the endorsed successor to carry on the Piper legacy, with Ronda paying homage to “The Hot Rod” by rocking her version of Piper’s entrance attire and carrying on his nickname. With that in mind, having Ronda being the featured new set of interviews to draw from seems like a fitting choice to commemorate Piper’s career here and are nice ways to mix up this collection.

Ronda’s interviews are insightful on how she drew on Roddy for inspiration on MMA needing an antagonist, and how excited she was to finally meet him. I presumed she maintained a close relationship with Piper, and was surprised to learn in Rousey’s interviews here that she only met him once early in her MMA career when she got the blessing from Roddy to use his nickname and then a second time when she appeared on Pipers podcast, which was just a month shy of his death in July of 2015. Rousey went on to say one of her biggest regrets is not having a close relationship with him. There is a nice variety of the nine Piper interviews/promos included. There is a handful of the vintage Rock ‘n Wrestling era promos where Piper bellows out promos in front of a blue screen backdrop. A nice nostalgic bonus is a few vintage commercials where Piper maniacally shouts at you to purchase the latest WWE action figures. There are a few standout go-home PPV interviews here where Piper is on fire and by the end of them he got me just as fired up as Virgil for his upcoming WrestleMania match against Ted Dibiase, and on top of that is an especially intense promo with Bret Hart leading up to their WrestleMania VIII battle. There are three Roddy promos from his late 90’s WCW days, with a bewildering rant from a cell in Alcatrez and Hulk Hogan provoking Piper to cut loose on him and Bishoff in front of his son, Colt, standing out the most. These WCW promos have boisterous crowds capturing the high times WCW was riding at that time in the ‘Monday Night Wars.’

It is no surprise that Piper’s rougher, brawling style will not warrant many five star classics, but a fair amount of his 19 matches here have crowds eating up the chaos Piper is delivering. I have only seen a handful of Piper’s early NWA work before, so seeing a few more of his NWA matches unearthed for this set was a treat, and his match against Jay Youngblood is a smashmouth brawl that goes to a time limit draw, and I loved seeing Piper tag with Ole Anderson against Mike Davis and Buddy Landell. There are a lot of the big arena house show matches here that were previously televised only in local markets, and like a lot of those matches in other sets, usually feature good action until a hokey finish. That is the case here with a killer clash against Paul Orndorff in 1985 fresh into their rivalry, with the crowd going bokers for them until a double countout finish. Just as riveting is Piper’s match in this set against Rick Rude where the crowd is losing it throughout, but a lot of tomfoolery I will not even begin to explain transpires and is the catalyst for one of the strangest DQ finishes I have seen.

Piper teaming with Eddie and Blue-tista, looking like gold! Piper feuding with the nWo had the crowd on its feet! There are two matches on here against Mr. Perfect worth going out of your way to see. I know Mr. Fuji was an accomplished wrestler in the 70s, but never seen him in a match until this set where he is pummeled for a couple minutes against Piper until his fellow managers run in for the save. A lot of the latter matches in the back half of Getting Rowdy are quick TV matches with wonky finishes unfortunately, but for what it is worth, still draw rabid crowd reactions. There are two Nitro bouts included against Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in 1998, but both bouts have several nWo run-ins that result in both matches being thrown out. I forgot about Piper’s brief 2003 run with Sean ‘O Haire, so it was nice to see those two again when Piper had a short encounter with Rikishi. The last match is an awesome impromptu bout against The Miz for $5000 of The Miz’s money, with Alex Reilly (remember him!?) as guest referee in 2011. I have zero recollection of this match, and even at a couple minutes long it was an absolute delight!

Getting Rowdy was jacked with 24 installments of Piper’s Pit, but WWE had quite a few more to draw upon from the vault with 12 more here. Some of the early ones in this collection that were a riot were where both Jimmy Hart and the Brooklyn Brawler ruthlessly provoke Roddy to giving them a a well-earned beatdown. There are a bunch in the second half of this set when Piper would periodically show up on RAW and SmackDown for a special Piper’s Pit. Two that really got me were one with John Cena where Piper does a tremendous job at needling Cena into living up to his then-current t-shirt slogan, ‘Rise Above Hate’ and another where Roddy moderates AJ Lee attempting to get back into Daniel Bryan’s good graces after costing him his WrestleMania match against Sheamus. I enjoyed this collection more than I anticipated. As I mentioned earlier, Piper was not known for his epic wrestling abilities, so I was not letdown from the wide range of match quality from the 19 matches in the set. There are a few matches that are hidden gems in here for what it is worth, but the real reason everyone should check out Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper, is for the many unreleased promos and Piper’s Pit interviews. While he may not have been a five star wrestler, Piper was easily a five star entertainer, and that is readily apparent from beginning to end in this collection.

Those Piper action figure commercials are iconic, and this set is full of iconic promos I have never seen before where the Hot Rod made Virgil look like a million bucks! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold Randy Savage Unreleased: The Unseen Matches of the Macho Man RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Shawn Michaels: My Journey Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania III: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

[hurricanes-art]

I’m so behind on posting my art so here’s a dump of Eragon stuff from my sketchbook of varying quality and level of completion, featuring….!!

1 this meme that @inheritancecyclememes​​ posted forever ago!

2 Knife Cat Murtagh (this is canon.)

3-6 I had an au where all of the characters were some type of monster. Eragon is a harpy, Murtagh is a naga, Nasuada is a sphinx, and Eragon still never gets to be the tall one. (Orrin would be a centaur, I forgot my idea for Arya, and Roran would be the one single dude who’s still a normal human. But since he’s the only one like that, he’s described in the same rarefied way as everyone else, to comedic effect.)

7 Brotherly shenanigans without context, aka I forgot why I drew this

8 A both poorly drawn out and poorly thought out Over the Garden Wall au (feat. lizard Saphira)

9 Nasuada………😉

10 I have this au where the war goes far less smoothly for the Varden and takes substantially longer than in canon.  Before they ever reach Uru’baen, Murtagh and Thorn rebel and kill Galbatorix and Shruikan themselves. In the interest of discouraging all the politicians from trying to claim power for themselves and plunging the country into chaos, Murtagh names himself king regent. He only intends to hold the position until the Varden arrives to claim the throne which he estimates will only take a week or two now that they don’t have to fight the Empire.

The Varden and their allies, however, see this as a perfect opportunity to have someone else deal with the fallout of war and stabilize the country while they don’t have to. They refuse to answer Murtagh’s summons and wait to weather out the storm. Murtagh and Thorn are left alone, having escaped the slavery of a tyrant only to be recaptured in the slavery of responsibility without ever realizing it. Long months drain away while they slowly suffocate under the weight of a crown…

bonus w/ shinier gold!

[love-takes-work]

I got the updated, colorized Pug Davis last week but I forgot to tell y’all about it. Here we go.

Pug Davis originally existed in little individual self-made comics Rebecca Sugar made for cons. It was picked up by Albatross Exploding Funnybooks because Eric Powell saw something in Rebecca that stood out. The black and white graphic novel with cover by Eric Powell has been hard to find for a while. Now I have both!

I reviewed the original Pug Davis a while back if you want to see that. For now, I’m going to just tell you a few things I noticed that were different.

Obviously: The cover is a Rebecca Sugar drawing now, and the comics inside are colored instead of black and white. Colorist is Rachael Cohen, with lettering by Rebecca herself and Warren Montgomery, edits by Tracy Marsh and Eric Powell, design by Phil Balsman. 

A new introduction: An intro by Rebecca warning kids away from it and putting it into context as “an underground comic by a teenager” has replaced the original intro by Eric Powell explaining what he’d seen in Rebecca all those years ago. 

Transcript of intro:

I’d like to start by putting this book into context: This is an underground comic by a teenager!

If you are a fan of my current work, please know THIS IS NOT FOR KIDS! This is a formative comic that I drew in college, from 2006 to 2007. Please look at this artifact through that lens.

Here’s the backstory:

I had been drawing comics since middle school, and in high school, I teamed up with my best friend, Frans Boukas, to make our own imprint, SugarBoukas Comics. We drew comics together, and with the help of my graphic designer dad, we printed and stapled zines at his office and then took them to local comic cons to trade and to give to our heroes.

I had a comic idea called Bonnie and Jess, about lesbian bodyguards traveling the country, helping people and fighting people. Bonnie and Jess bonded because they were both fans of a comic called Pug Davis. Pug started as a comic-within-a-comic, a stand-in for my favorite comics at the time: The Goon, Hellboy and BPRD. I never ended up making Bonnie and Jess (though I reused many ideas from it in later projects), but I did make Pug. I threw it online unceremoniously (the website had the tagline "In Pug Davis, No One Can Hear You Pug Davis"), and I tabled with it at SPX, Otakon and MoCCA, selling very, very few copies.

Pug never quite had a place to live. It didn't fit with indie comics, but was too raw to come off as mainstream. While the covers promised space adventures and ray guns, the interiors were actually emotional stories about Pug and the Blouse. I wanted to put my spin on the antihero and the "gay sidekick," and have the adventures take a back seat to the moments they shared privately, worrying about each other and themselves. When I look back on it, I'm alarmed by how honest it is under all the sci-fi tropes and goofy action schtick I was lovingly emulating. I put a lot of myself into the characters, especially into the Blouse ... the way his naiveté gets him into trouble, and how he can't help but be himself no matter how much he's punished for it. The Blouse can't quite tell if Pug actually wants him around, and he can't shake the feeling that he's a burden. But he's so proud just to be there, to know Pug personally, and to care about him more than anyone else. So much of this is how I felt during the mid-2000s--trying to break into comics, trying to fit in at art school, navigating sexist jokes and homophobic slurs, and quietly hoping my heroes and peers actually wanted me to be there instead of begrudgingly tolerating my presence.

I wish I could have joyfully, unapologetically expressed myself at age 18, but I just wasn't there yet, so Pug will always be bittersweet. Trapped in this book is my overflowing love for comics and the fantasy that comics might love me back, even if comics would never admit it in public. 

But the end of the story is that my fantasy came true. I gave this book to Eric Powell, and he loved it for what it was. He gave me my first job in comics (a short backup in The Goon), and he published Pug Davis through Albatross Exploding Funnybooks in 2010. Now he's doing it again, almost a decade later--and in full color, thanks to the brilliant Rachael Cohen.

Thank you for reading,

RS --Rebecca Sugar

What else is new?

This block was originally empty. Now it has this sweet love note to her parents, her brother, her best friend, her partner, and her readers.

The color stuff occasionally makes me pretty sure I prefer the evocative grayscale Rebecca’s so known for:

But sometimes the color really does make it pop, you know?

I love both!

The new version has these nifty tables of contents, sorta:

And, to my utter delight, it has this:

Bonus content! Bonus content!

Some really cool SKETCHES from the Pug Davis era! Please buy this. Wow.

And there are some comic panels without their words too!

I had a great time checking out this version of it and you will too. :)

[ghiblivampire]

i found a letter to my future self

when i was in eighth grade my english teacher had us all write a letter to our future selves on the last day of classes. i wrote mine and when i got home i stuffed it into the back of a nancy drew box set my aunt got me for christmas, and told myself i would read it four years later, the day i graduated high school. when i finally did finish high school, i was too weirdly emotional and uncomfortable with my past self so i couldn’t make myself read it. 

now it’s a little more than six years after i wrote the letter, i’m 20 years old which, for personal reasons, is a far more significant age than 18. i finally opened up the back of the nancy drew box set and read the letter. it made me cry a little, and laugh some, and i want to share the highlights of it as well as a little response (under a read more bc this post is already really long and honestly no one probably cares. but im writing this for me)

some highlights:

“I hope you have matured in these four years! But I still hope you have not found anyone better than Edward Elric.”

answer to both: i have not :) 

(this was so fucking funny to read and i genuinely have no idea if i was joking about it or not)

“Is [my old friend group with a weird ass name] still together?”

unfortunately the asymmetrical demons have disbanded due to The Incident (please fucking log out of your skype account or else you will be outed to your parents and they will force you to cut contact with all your friends by putting you in online school) but hey i’m an adult now and i’m working up the courage to talk to them again <3 

“What is your favorite song?”

i don’t know why you asked me this when you Know you’ve never been able to  have a single favorite song >:( i literally have a playlist of like 80 different songs that i would call my favorite and i refuse to pick a single one of them

“Are you moving to Canada still?”

i forgot that i wanted to move to canada and honestly i feel like that’s enough of an answer

[at the top of the page, upside down, with zero context]

“Hast thou filched from thy teacher a book? Returneth it anon!”

listen i understand what these words mean but why the hell did you write this. what is the context. why is it upside down. i have so many questions and no way to answer them

“How many boyfriends have you had...?”

someday child you will understand that your worth is not tied to your relationship status and that there are other ways in life to find belonging and fulfillment than having a romantic partner. and i know you already know this but you are so, so gay, bro

this is my way of saying the answer is still zero. :(

“Are [my brother and his now ex girlfriend] married yet?”

their relationship ended in flames like a week ago. yikes :/

[for some reason i just list all the classes i’m taking at the time]

idk why you wrote this but also i forgot the name of my eighth grade math teacher and it has been bugging me for like weeks now so thank you so much

[then at the end i talk about my self insert fullmetal alchemist oc that marries edward elric for like a whole paragraph]

you are such a nerd and i love you <3

now if i could tell my past self five things:

be weirder!!!! none of your actions will have consequences until you are an adult!! be rebellious and sneak out with your friends past midnight to steal a stop sign or something!! don’t miss out on a chance to make good memories because you’re worried about being perceived! no one will remember you and that is a glorious thing

your parents are wrong about many things. the importance of your grades is not one of them. please do your fucking homework 

your acne is mostly caused by hormones but also because of dairy, i learned this after my skin magically cleared up after i became lactose intolerant. also don’t pick at it please 

you have a cat now!!!!!! finally!!!!!! when i wake up in the morning i go find her sleeping on the couch and she wakes up for a moment to climb into my lap and fall back asleep

you are about to go through a lot, but you do get through it. i’m 20 now and i know you never thought i would get here but i did. and it’s not perfect, but i am so much happier than i was when i was you.

also i know i said five things but uhhhhh 6. you fuckin have blue hair now hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[huahsu]

YEAR OF THE BUTTERFLY

previous years: A SONG THAT DEGRADES EACH TIME YOU PLAY IT :: 2018 A CHURCH AND JOHN LENNON’S “IMAGINE” :: 2017 SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015 this year: I’ve spent the past few months working on a book that I’ve always wanted to write but never figured I’d make the time for. At a really basic level, it’s about listening to music with friends. A couple weeks ago, I devoted a few days to reading a stack of books and articles about the emotional experience of music. They were written by philosophers, critics, cognitive scientists, historians. I took from them two overarching questions. First, what does it mean to assign a piece of music a feeling, like “happy” or “sad?” Is the song itself “sad,” or does it just model a kind of sadness proximate to how we feel? What elements of a song do this? The fraying of a voice? Minor keys? Tempo? Is it all a trick of memory? None of the answers really satisfied me, since music is such an intimate thing. A song makes us feel a way for reasons that are often either blindingly obvious or remote and mysterious. An expert can tell you that humans are wired to feel joy when a certain configuration of notes are struck in tandem, but maybe it just reminds you of looking at the front door.

The other question was whether music itself facilitates any unique emotional possibilities--a mode of feeling that we can’t get anywhere else. Music doesn’t mimic the real world, it doesn’t make arguments. One writer suggested that the thrill of music was its capacity to remind you, foremost, that music can thrill you. In essence, each time we hear something new and feel something, we are being reminded of all the times we’ve felt this way before. We’re living in the echo of a former enchantment. Maybe you’ll hear it again, process it, assign it a genre or context, and the mystique evaporates. But music is one of those things that doesn’t happen on our time. We don’t stand in front of it and train our gaze on this quadrant or that. We don’t flip back to make sure we didn’t miss something. You can’t slow it down as it is happening, you merely let it happen. 

In the spring, the Museum of Chinese in America in Manhattan showed “The Moon Represents My Heart,” an exhibition I worked on with MOCA’s curators, Herb and Andrew. The basic idea was to look at all the ways music had enriched immigrant life, from early opera troupes touring America’s Chinatowns to karaoke bars, church choirs, and after-school violin lessons, fifties doo-wop trios to garage punks and self-taught dance music producers. There’s no legible tradition of Chinese American music so we just wanted to present it as a textured and everyday thing--the experience of the fan could be as legitimate as that of a Mando-pop superstar. While working on the show, people would often ask me for a playlist, but I didn’t really have any to share. It wasn’t really about the music itself, which could sound derivative or amateur to some. It was about the fact that they sought to express themselves through music, in contexts that made them outliers and oddballs. I came to love all the music in our show because of that second-hand thrill--that sense that these moments had been deeply meaningful to everyone in the room. 

You can hear it in the voice of Stephen Cheng, who ended up being the show’s most memorable star. He put out a rocksteady gem in the sixties and then spent the next decade in New York trying to get the Dragon Seeds, his Chinese “folk-rock” band, off the ground. Cheng died years ago, but Andrew found his children, who brought some reels of unreleased music to the museum. I remember staring at them, wondering what was on them. It was a kind of anticipation and wonder that I often miss, when the operative feeling I associate with music-listening on the internet is the frenzy of opening and closing windows, clicking links, proving my humanity to a captcha.

Stephen’s singing wasn’t great, but it was perfect. His version of “Yesterday,” all warbly and over-the-top, has now supplanted the original for me. Somehow, we played some of Stephen’s songs on the radio, including one about butterflies and love. Somehow, one of the people listening was a butterfly expert, and he was about to marry another butterfly expert. Who knew such a song was possible, the groom-to-be told me. Stephen was too obscure to be properly forgotten. Or maybe his song was just dormant all these years. It awaited just the right listener, and now, over forty years later, he would get his propers, sandwiched somewhere between the vows and Kool and the Gang, a couple minutes of people scratching their heads, searching for the right smile, saying Can you believe this? to one another.

### TEENAGE DREAM

Warren Defever/His Name is Alive, All the Mirrors in the House

EXCELLENT USE OF “P.S.K.” Kindness feat. Robyn, “Warning” EXCELLENT USE OF A TELEPHONE Mavi, “Guernica” TECHNICALLY 2018, BUT TAIWAN’S ANSWER TO COIL, JOY DIVISION, ETC SEN, “The Cicada” SAME (2018) BUT TAIWANESE DREAMBOAT VIBES Linion, “Can’t Find” ANOTHER, KINDA BILLY BRAGG-Y Wayne’s So Sad, “Wanderer’s Guide to Taipei” SUMMER IN TAIWAN, AND SO I BOUGHT A LOT OF CDs, INCLUDING THE LIMITED EDITION SIGNED 9M88 DEBUT 9m88, “Love Rain” THEY ARE VERY INTO THE “FUTURE SOUL” THING Andrea, “You Better Kiss Me” THIS GUY HAS THE SAME NAME AS MY COUSIN Yo Lee demos LOTS OF BACKPACKS Hsien, Lately AMAZED TO SEE LIM GIONG REISSUES THERE, THIS IS THE DANCE ALBUM HE RECORDED IN 1994 IN THE UK BEFORE BRINGING RAVE CULTURE BACK TO TAIWAN Lim Giong, Entertainment World (IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH LIM GIONG, THIS IS THE GREATEST SONG EVER Lim Giong, “A Pure Person) AND HERE’S 9m88 COVERING “PLASTIC LOVE” 9m88, “Plastic Love” AIR SUPPLYERS Oso Leone, Gallery Love Sunset Rollercoaster, Vanilla Villa I ENJOYED THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT HONESTLY FORGOT IT CAME OUT THIS YEAR, OR THAT I ENJOYED, BUT FOR THE LONGEST TIME MY “2019″ EMAIL DRAFT JUST READ “CHIEF KEEF HNIA KAIL MALONE (sic)” Chief Keef and Zaytoven, GloToven

ANOTHER DEVASTATING DUO Pink Siifu and Akai Solo, Black Sand

MYSTIC CHORDS OF MEMORY Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code Clarice Jensen, Drone Studies I AM A SLOW WALKER, BUT I NEVER WALK BACKWARDS Michael Vincent Waller, Moments ana roxane - ~~~ A THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT Caleb Giles, Under the Shade Medhane, Own Pace WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR Angel Bat Dawid, The Oracle Art Ensemble of Chicago, We are on the Edge READ JOSEPH JARMAN Joseph Jarman, Black Case I and II RESPECT YOURSELF Helado Negro, This is How You Smile Deb Never, “Swimming” LET’S DO IT AGAIN Tommy Holohan & Casper Hastings- RVE001 Eris Drew, Raving Disco Breaks LET’S DO IT AGAIN AGAIN, BUT SMEARED Burial, Tunes 2011-2019 OR PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE Callisto, Guidance is Eternal, Part I PERHAPS YOU WERE THERE FOR MICROHOUSE AND PEAK MEGO AND BLOGS Barker, Debiasing AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, ABLE TO HEAR TOO MANY FLOORS, ROOMS, SOUNDS AT ONCE, IN A GOOD WAY Dies Smely, “Neptune Rises” AT A WAREHOUSE PARTY, BUT THINKING ABOUT PLUNDER, THE TRAIL OF TEARS, THE SANCTITY OF EARTH Kelman Duran, 13 Month A KIND OF BLUE Steve Hiett, Down on the Road by the Beach POSSIBLY MY MOST PLAYED ALBUM, 2019 Galcher Lustwerk, Information R.I.P. PRINCE, FOREVER AND ALWAYS Serpente, Parada Moodymann, Sinner Nelson Bandela, Purprain THE OPPOSITE OF “I AM A GOD” Nelson Bandela - “i'm mortal” YOU GOT ME Shane Eagle feat. Santi and Bas, “Vanya” HARD TO BELIEVE JAZMINE SULLIVAN REMAINS SO OVERLOOKED Kindness feat Jazmine Sullivan, “Hard to Believe” WATCH FOR THE HOOK Quando Rondo, “Gun Powder”

ANTE UP Polo G feat Lil Tjay, “Pop Out” “PANTS GON BE SAGGIN TIL I’M FORTY” Freddie Gibbs and Madlib, “Thuggin”

“WHY THEY LET THE TERMINATOR WIN THE ELECTION?” Sault, “Why Why Why Why Why”

HOLLOW BONES Showbiz and Milano, “Guillotine” LADI LUV, “GOOD TO THE LAST DUB” City Girls, “Act Up” MONEY BOSS PLAYERS Benny the Butcher feat 38 Spesh and Jadakiss, “Sunday School” Roc Marciano, “Richard Gear” WARP 30 (1989-2019) Droop-E, “The Droop-E Way” INTERSTELLAR SPACE, PROBABLY KILLER LIVE Blacks’ Myths, Blacks Myths II ALICE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE Sam Wilkes, “Sivaya” Alice Coltrane, Live at the Berkeley Community Theater 1972 RIYL: LYRICHORD, EFFECTS PEDALS Seungmin Cha, Nuunmuun RIYL: EFFICIENCY, INTERLUDES Solange, “Binz” “WHO HERE IS STILL LISTENING TO JOHNNY MAY CASH’S “DRUGS” IN 2019?” Playboi Carti, “Molly” “MOLLY” CZ Wang and Neo Image, “Just Off Wave”

YOU’VE SUBSCRIBED TO “UK STREETSOUL YOUTUBE PLAYLIST” Apiento feat Harriet Brown, “Down That Road” WHERE WERE U IN 2092? Jai Paul, “He”

LIL B, INNIT Voldy Moyo, Paper World SCREAMADELICA Vampire Weekend, “Harmony Hall” Humeysha, Nusrat on the Beach FOLKTRONICA Aldous Harding, “The Barrel” TOO PURE Springfields, Singles 1986-1991 MY AQUARIUM Rod Modell, Captagon ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE Vagabon, Vagabon 4-TRACK TWEE BEDROOM COVERS OF BLINK-182′S DUDE RANCH Colleen Green, Blink-182′s “Dude Ranch” as Played by Colleen Green

KINDA AS THOUGH A PART OF MY 2016-19 LP PURCHASES FORMED THEIR OWN BANDS Anunaku, Whities 024 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real Joshua Abrams and Natural Information Society, Mandatory Reality

JUST 30 OR SO GECS Cool Fang, Sparring I’M A DEADHEAD BUT FOR STANDING ON THE CORNER SOTC Art Ensemble, SOTC Double Bass Ensemble * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/24/19 SOTC Art Ensemble, Variation 9 * Merciful Allah Black Hole Theater * 4/27/19

SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER, YEAR, STILL UNDEFEATED

[insertofalord]

Selftober day 7: Playing with hair

I’m late because... the og ink was BAD and I wanted to do it digitally to save the day!! Took some time ‘cause digital take longer for me, and I had a very busy week...

For context: several months ago, @dokiquents posted the hc that Shura would learn to braid my hair and weave flowers into it, so I drew... the moment before that because I don’t know how to draw people braiding hair.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I draw hair so fluffy in general is that I drew Shura so much at one point... you can also see I forgot how to draw him lmao He looks too young??? Or maybe it’s just me

I have NO IDEA what to make my insert wear when they’re not in armour??? When does fates take place??? How do middle-class nohrian clothes look? So I put then in hoshidan clothes, but it look so weird their neck is EXPOSED. Exposed for... kisses

[id: a line art drawing of me, in a kimono holding flowers, and Shura behind me, putting a part of my hair back to braid it]