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#i dont want to cry over as little as i am right now its so annoying
nomairuins · 25 days
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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sharkjumpers · 10 months
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aughhhh (clutches my cursed eye.)
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piplupod · 1 month
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life is actually so easily wonderful if the abusers are not around. heaven on earth. i can breathe for a few days <3 i've already gotten so much done and its only been 24 hours. i have 48 more hours of this relief to savour.
#i did dishes. i cooked. i moved a whole couch. i cleaned a bit. i've read 30% of a book. and i've got More cleaning planned to do#not just Wanting to do it. actually realistically planned. it is Achievable for once. because i dont feel the crushing weight of terror rn#is this how normal people feel ????? is this why life is so easy for everyone else in comparison ????#you can just. do things. without The Terror hanging over you and crushing you to death ???????#i want to cry lol#every time the abusers are away for more than a day i get a brief glimpse into how life could be and i want it to stay#i want to live in this forever#i think i could have a life if i could just. live like this. all the time.#but the fucked up part is that i know if i ever escape from this place i will probably crash and burn for a while lmfao#there is Grief and Suicidality waiting under the surface for me to leave this place. and then it will overwhelm me for a while#but i do hope i can get to a place where i can feel that bc it will mean i have made it out and that there is a path ahead of me#instead of just a closed door that i sit at and hope will open#however i will say... that i still want to die HFDSJKL like thats still very much present. i do want to die quite a lot still#but at least i have some relief from The Terror right now. i can experience joy unrestricted for a few moments here and there#its a little bit frustrating to be having such a pleasant time of relief and to still have ''jfc i need to kill myself soon'' in my head#i mean not just in my head i also feel it in my chest and stomach and feet and hands and shoulders.#but the Thought is echoing and the Feeling is there. even with the pleasant relief of abusers being away.#ARGHHH I DUNNO this sucks but i am enjoying what i can. its lovely to have some space and to let my guard down a little#and the book i am reading is Really good#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw#abuse tw
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transgender-catboy · 1 year
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I love my friends
#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind#for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!!#secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart#i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and#allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother.#she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way#i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know?#not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her.#...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics#i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling.#like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did.#hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either#but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time#but that's the only way I can get those emotions out#I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved.#and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah.#but we dont talk about her#... i dunno. I'm just here.#guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going#I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys.#so uh. thank you.#i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you#probably dead.#💖#vent
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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ohh I do want to pass away why am I so stupid
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#mine#🎸#why am i such a terrible person 😇 genuinely what the fuck#me when i want to cry and tear my skin off over a minor mistake ufhdshdjfjg can i stop being fucking stupid for once#crying over a mistake right NOW actually everything is so difficult i dont know what im supposed to do in these situations!!!!!!!#i get in trouble for not knowing what to do in social situations then i have to apologize and i didnt know THAT either.#bashing my head against the wall violence maiming killing death torture bloodletting slicing tearing defenestrating murdering annihilating#me anmd my epic autism powers. shouldnt i know better why csnt you understand!!! who is at fault here! i dont even know#ashshsjdksjfklsfke im wanna cry so hard everything sucks right now im too busy for this shit. for Emotions#why are you punishing me do you hate me?! did you never even like me at all are you trying to make me mad!!! why#im so tired and frustrated i want everything to go perfectly but its not nothing can be perfect in this terrible world he is going to hate#me now. hell why do i have urges like this it always ruins everything im being so selfish arent i aren't i arent i !!!!!!!! why cant we#be FUCKING compatible and perfect snd everything what is the problem am i the problem?!?? why cant you understsnd what im trying to tellyou#maybe it really would just be better if i died nothing good has happened or is going to happen to me since he probably hates me and#my life sucks!!!!! my face hurts from crying i cant cry properly it hurts it feels so hot why cant it end already!!!!!!! why cant#we be perfect like we are supposed to why cant you UNDERSTAND it seems easy to understand to ME whwueh i am mortified my throat hurts#my head hurts i hate this world why couldnt i resist why did i have to be vulnerable id be better off if. well i dont know#i do want to crush bones and flesh beneath my hands to be honest i dont KNOW i thought it was going well i thought it was good#the thread i am hanging on by is quite thin actually why do i care so much why do i care so little im going to explode right meow!!!#my mood is so ruined i dont know if im even used to this whole thing i cannot get in particular moods im so. rgrhrhggr none of this post#is going to make sense i just need to say words while crying then itll be fine probably#this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while#it lasts. no matter how hard i try everything always ends up the same way. all this started because of my mistakes and itll end with them
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puppmeo · 1 month
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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watch-out-it-bites · 4 months
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agh.mmn I can't wait to be away from real life I am. Very bluh.
#don't let them see this!#i am really enjoying this hangout and i like spending time with him but#i was hoping id be able to. do things#this weekend#because ive been surrounded by so many but oddly lonely? i dont understand#and it is hard to act like this and i keep being very violent and i dont want to be#i am very tired of this stuff#all i want to do is fall over and be a Little Fellow#and charles finally wanted to make plans this weekend after silence so long but no i judt had to be busy nearly every goddamn day this week#and i cant even work on the minecraft world and someome else is sleeping in my room!!#i had to rearrange my nest!! i hate this!!#and now the house has a bunch of people staying in it#i really wish i could be held agh. i have been nonstop tired every day this week and i was hoping i could cool down thisnweekend but plans#immediately#and stress and i am Dying Dead#and then i have exams in literal days that i planned on studying for this weekend!! genuinely!! i made plans!! fuck!!#i want to cry!! and puke from sorrow!! my legs hurt and i feel so emotionally tired and worried#i have been so physically affectionate today its gross!! i hate that!!#i want to be alone in my nest agh#i really want to yell and be sngry at someone because then i can be alone or atleast get anger out#ive been saying things i Never Would rghhh#sleeping has been awful lately and ive been nonstop having dreams and i hate dreaming#i would take sleep paralysis over dreaming any day#i hate being percieved as the meaty me!! because thats not me and whoever speaks will never be me and i finally got to speak a little and it#felt so right!! and i loved it!! but it was so little and i Cant be me and i hate being this! and i hate this awful body holding me back!!#why is it so hard to live??#i enjoy sleep paralysis So Much.
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thebiggestmenace · 5 months
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✌🏻
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causalityparadoxes · 6 months
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Love mental illness. Get to choose between being able to wake up on time and randomly feeling like I'm about to die. Like what a choice
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81folklore · 1 year
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dress - SV5
pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)
summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise
authors note: i have had this idea on my mind for SO LONG so im very pleased to finally be writing it. essentially in this, yn is taylor and seb is joe but no one has ever seen him nor know his name, if that makes sense? honestly i have no clue how this will turn out but i needed to write it
authors note 2: this is set in the midnights era however i switched the songs a bit so ‘dress’ is on midnights instead of ‘sweet nothing’ and vice versa!! also ‘dress’ is going to be a single. i also apologize for how all over the place this is, especially the tweets
authors note 3: just pretend whatever says taylor swift says your name and the photos with her hands have a wedding ring!! i also got so confused when trying to screenshot the twitter stuff so the timeline ones are backwards
authors note 4??: haha didnt realise there was a 30 pic limit... pt 2 here :)
masterlist
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ynupdates
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liked by user3, user18 and 10,628 others
yn on her story today, possibly posting song lyrics! thoughts?
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user3: NEW ERA INCOMING
user18: OH I AM SO READY FOR THIS
user13: NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC
user66: is this hinting at her reputation era?
user13: i was just thinking this, more specifically the time just before reputation
user72: MUSIC ABOUT LOVER?? OH I AM SO HERE FOR IT
user55: if it is about lover and the time before reputation this will BREAK ME like,, HE SAW THE BEST IN HER EVEN IN HER WORST TIMES😭😭
yourusername
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liked by gracieabrams, ynupdates, olliebearman and 7,277,739 others
everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…
this album has been such a rewarding piece to create and im so glad that soon enough you will all be able to listen and enjoy it with me! one thing i love in particular about this album is the song ‘dress’
dress was originally a piece i started to write when making reputation however i felt it was right to keep it to myself, to keep it between my partner and i for a little while longer. however recently our lives have been changing for the better, and while that lid of privacy will still be on, i want to share more with you guys
you have all been on this journey with me and you have treated my partner and i with the upmost respect and for that i thank you. for me dress is a letter, its statement, its a declaration of my love for him and im very grateful to be able to give this to you all
this song is one im very proud of, i really enjoyed writing this the first time, and getting to revist and polish it up felt very special to do.
dress out now on all platforms🖤
comments on this post have been limited
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sebupdates
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liked by user34, user5, user88 and 23,683 others
seb in suzuka with the grid at his turn 2 bee (insect) hotels,, we've missed seeing him at the track :(
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user3: of course the grid come together for him :’)
user5: im not crying!! just hay fever!!
user5: oh i have missed him SO MUCH
user7: NO BECAUSE YOU DONT GET IT HES BACK
user88: DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VIDEO OF HIM HUGGING CHARLES😭😭
user34: the way he was like a teacher throughout the whole thing😭
user18: does anyone know if hes staying the whole weekend or is it like monaco??
sebupdates: we believe hes staying the whole weekend but unsure if hes with a team or not!
user18: ok thank you :)
user77: the way the first thing lewis asked him was if his wife was okay, oh what if i cry😭😭
user66: im kind of new here, have the grid met sebs wife?
user77: i know they all at least know about her and know who she is, i dont think everyone has met her but i know lewis has met her quite a bit!!
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part 2!
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gaysindistress · 8 months
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No one asked for this butttt here's a little fake dating drabble I wrote for @bucks-and-noble's Valentrope fest.
Part two
bucky's masterlist | main masterlist
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“I hate you.”
“It’ll pass.”
“No I actually hate you.”
Bucky sighs as he slumps into the hard chair he keeps saying he’s going to get rid of. A glass of whiskey dangles from his hand that is draped over the chair’s arm.
“You don’t hate me, doll. I don’t think you even have it in you to hate me or anyone for that matter.”
From my spot curled up in the chair opposite of him, I glower at him. I’m trying to get him to agree to the half baked plan I came up with trying to sleep last night but he’s not budging. All I need him to do is pretend to be my boyfriend for a wedding this weekend. I already have the backstory for us figured out and I even came up with a few ways for us to break up. All he needs to do is sit pretty, remember our story, and pretend to be in love with me.
“Don’t ‘doll’ me, Barnes. I could not hate you more than I do right now.” I try to sound serious but it’s like a toddler trying to say hospital; it doesn’t sound right no matter how many times I try.
He takes a sip of his drink, eyeing me as the nasty liquid slips past his lips and down his throat. I’ve never understood how he can drink something that tastes so awful and burns going down.
“What about Sam? I can pay him to do it.”
Groaning, I throw my head back and squeeze my eyes shut.
“No Bucky. It has to be you. Sam’s great but I-kind-of-already-told-everyone-about-you.” The last part is incredibly rushed and I really hope that he didn’t hear it.
My hopes are crushed though. He coughs and chocks on his whiskey.
“I’m sorry. You did what now?” He rasps out in a scratchy voice.
“Dont make me say it again.”
I hear him get up and softly approach me. His shoes make almost no sound as he walks across the Persian rug he let me pick out last year. He told me his office needed updating and handed me his black card. Obviously I had to buy everything that I wanted so that when he wanted to update again, I could take it all home.
Bucky crouches in front of me and puts his hands on my knees. My head lolls forward and I stare down at him with puppy dog eyes. It’s not going to work but it’s worth a shot.
“No, no doll put those away.” He whispers to me with a light squeeze to my knees, “now tell me what you did again.”
“I already told everyone about you.”
“And who is everyone?”
“Buckyyyy,” I whine and try to pull my legs away but he holds them in place. “Please don’t be mean right now.”
He chuckles at my manipulation. Shaking his head, he stands up and leans over me, placing a hand on either side of my chair. His cologne is faint after his long day but I can still smell hints of its vanilla and tobacco notes.
“If you want me to play your boyfriend then you’ll have to toughen up. I can’t have my girl,” he murmurs as he brushes those plump lips against my cheekbone, “crying the second I tell her no.”
My heart stutters when he starts to trail light kisses from my cheek to the corner of my lips. Like a true tease, he skips over to the other corner and then kisses the tip of my nose.
“Can you do that for me?”
“Are you going to come with me?” I shoot back.
Bucky smirks against my lips. “Of course I am, doll.”
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eatmyassssssssz · 10 months
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Captain John Price
warnings : age gap implied
tags : @lillianastuff @mysticalgalaxysalad @mionacaped @madamemelancholysstuff @mactavishwritings @chaos-reigns-bitches @scribblescubbs @wandasbitch22 @warzxx @wretched-horn-monger @yippeerrrs @applbottmjeens @bowieisbored @blingblong55 @simonrileyscockring
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old man price who struggles to come, he can get it up, but he struggles to come, takes him ages.
hes retired by the military by now, youre his little house husband/wife.
you started to realise you guys have sex a lot less. and when you do, its not really sex. he doesnt get anything out of it. he always makes you come, then goes straight to aftercare.
you worry, maybe he's stopped being attracted to you as he got older. maybe his taste has changed.
you overthink one night, hes fast asleep next to you, snoring. you cant sleep, youre trying not to be too loud with your crying and hyperventilating so you dont awaken your husband (although, nothing could wake up that damn man).
then, you snap. you shake him. until he wakes up. you needed to ask him why he wouldnt have sex with you, when he had a pretty high sex drive a year ago!
was it because you put on a pound or two because of christmas incoming?
either way, hes awake, sat up, half asleep, looking at his partner, having a borderline panic attack next to him.
"whats-, whats wrong?" he says, hurriedly rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out him eyes at least a little.
"why dont you like me anymore!" bit blunt, but you weren't thinking very straight right now, you needed answers, and now.
no matter what the answer was, you needed closure. you needed something to let you decide what you needed to do.
was the "problem" you, or did he just fall out of love?
"what- what do you even mean?" he genuinely did not get what you meant.
"youve not had proper sex with me in ages!" you say, rushed, words not going through your head properly.
his face fades. a soft pink spreads up his neck and ears. "so, its about that.." he mutters.
"am i not attractive enough for you to fuck me anymore? you make me come, then skip the part when you get off, and we go straight to aftercare!" tears were rushing down your face, you hiccuped as you spoke.
"babe- its not you, its me." he says, face in his palm.
"please- nonono, i cant afford for us to split up! i love you- and, and- i dont have any qualifications, i didnt go to college so we could be together forever, john!" your head was rushing to conclusions, your breathing was fast, choked and panicked.
"no! nono, i dont want to split up- i...what i meant was, i literally- it is me thats the problem. i can't- yknow...come." his voice was low, his fingers were massaging his temples, his face was red with embarrassment over this.
"...youre joking? thats why we've not had sex? i thought you were fucking someone else and had nothing left for me or something!" you were relieved, to say the least. "no- babe, i would never."
you nod. "i know- i just..overthink." you admit. he nods. "im aware.." you smile softly. he did know you well. "so..you cant come?" you ask.
he mumbles a response, "i can- just takes...a while...yknow? i can still get hard like i used too- just...not come easily." you smirk hearing that. "so...its possible you can come, just takes a minute?"
"yup."
"..you wanna try that theory?"
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rookiesbookies · 9 months
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mischievous COD ideas😈
Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat
To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)
The boys with pregnant brat wife
Price
This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.
Soap
He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.
Ghost
Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.
Konig
Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.
Keegan
your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.
Gaz
He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”
Krueger
Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
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poppy-metal · 3 months
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the reader dbf patrick stepdaddy art is DIABOLICAL and i need it RIGHT NOW actually. crying on patricks cock for the first time while art watches like, "im sorry, daddy, 'm sorry, just wanted it so bad, so so badly, you understand, right, you get it?" and the funny thing is, he totally does, because its patrick, yes, he gets it, more than anything he gets it, but this is wrong, isn't it? this is wrong and fucked up and evil, but you're reaching for his belt with wide, wet eyes, begging, "can make it up to you, daddy, can make you feel real good, please, 'm sorry, let me show you how sorry i am" and his resolve just has to crumple.
(obviously there has to be about six million years of YEARNING in between but you know. the horny.)
-kit ♡♡♡
@gamesetart ur sick for enabling me. i slowed things down a little bc i was cooking but the outcome will probably eventually be this. LMAO
under a cut because like patrick, this is sending me straight to hell i fear.
skipping ahead a million years just to fuck stepdad!art who also happens to be patricks ex who hes never gotten over and has been friends with this whole time - maybe its his fault actually, that you fall in love with patrick at the tender age of 14 - because art loves him so much. hes around so much. like father like daughter, right? he might not be your dad by blood but he is in every other way that counts - he has full custody - your mom been out of the picture for awhile now. its almost like having two dad, growing up. you think art and patrick are closer than any two men you've seen before. but they date other women so you don't think much of it - you want art to be happy again. you dont blame him for leaving your mother, you're just happy he took you with him.
anyway - falling for patrick is inevitable - it burns inside you like a wildfire you have no chance of stopping, so you dont try.
and patrick..... maybe he's given up hope on art after all these years. they'd had something brief and tangible in college - but it'd fizzled out - art had pretended it didn't happen. and patrick loved art too much to press the issue. he'd been content to live forever being arts best friend and nursing a flame for him that would never be returned.
and then you'd come along - it'd been hell watching art get married - he never liked that bitch, anyway, for more reasons than sharing arts bed. she treated her kid like dirt. art even worse. it got to a point where the only reason art was staying around was for you - he couldn't leave you. you were just a kid. and art had only been with you for three years but it was enough. enough for him to love you. enough for him to martyr himself for you and stay in an unhappy marriage if it meant he could play the role of daddy for you.
it may have been him who planted the seed. he'd met you a few times by that point, but he remembers a pool party where you'd been sucking on a lollipop as you watched art work the grill - your mother somewhere inside - you were twelve then - old enough to have some brain cells, patrick figured.
"he'd make a good dad, dont you think?" he'd nudged you. "i mean look at him - already rocking the dad stance with a fucking polo to match. he'll be telling us it looks like a storms rollin' in any second now."
and you'd popped the lolly out of your mouth and showed him your teeth with your smile.
a raised brow. "really? does he know that? does your mother?"
"he already is my dad, though."
you'd frowned. stuck the lolly back in your mouth. he could tell he'd given your brain alot to think about that.
it was only a year later that the divore was finalized. and art was granted full custody of you as his daughter - full guardianship. patrick got him the hell out of that town shortly thereafter.
and that was it, really. that was the plan. just to live in peace. he didn't expect to grow so attached to you. to enjoy watching you grow up. to enjoy being there for your important milestones. he saw a bit of himself in you, too, that wild precociousness. that want to run free. saw how it fucking terrified art, who wanted nothing but the best for you after the life you'd had. always the hero.
so yeah, when you'd started your rebellious teen phase he'd helped you hide it. picked you up from parties when you couldn't drive home instead of calling your dad. because he didn't want to see art unhappy. he didn't want to see art look at you and see the patrick in you and hate it. he couldn't.
he didn't know you'd fall in love with him. he didn't.
and when he realized you had, he'd pushed you away. he had.
but the thing is - as much as you had patrick in you - you had art as well. your inherent kindness. your sweet open face. your determination and dedication. he saw it and then he couldn't unsee it. and as long as he'd held onto his love for art he was tired. he was fucking tired of being unloved and unwanted and here you were - a tether to art - his beautiful babygirl - and you were throwing yourself at him. loving him. wanting him. so fucking beautiful and innocent - just like art had been, all those years ago.
couldn't fault him for caving. he'd faught it, but patricks not a good man. and hes a stray dog at the end of the day, dirty and hungry and begging for scraps.
he fucking devoured you. took from you. took your virginity - just like he did your fathers - broke it on his cock and tried not to feel sick that the symbolic way your blood drenched his cock connected you and him and art in a way that was as holy and it was perverted. he fucked you and he fucked you and he fucked you. he had you whenever and wherever he wanted and he didn't allow himself to think about the consequences of it - because he was fucking greedy for it - you took everything he was and you bit into it and you bounced on his dick like he was a fucking god and he found himself falling in love all over again.
he'd find a way to tell art and make it right. he would.
but then there'd been that night when art asked him out for drinks and patrick would tell something was wrong. he'd been distant from art lately, if he was being honest, consumed completely by you. the only reason he was free was because you were at a friends.
when art had confessed he felt you pulling away the guilt had set in... because art looked so sad. so pathetic and lonely and patrick had never wanted this for art. his heart pitched and dropped in his chest and he couldn't tell art about you - not now -
and then art had looked at him and said "you know she reminds me of you -" and patricks lips had parted. the alcohol in his system warmed his blood, but so did the heavy weight of arts eyes on him. it was a look patrick hadn't seen in years. decades even.
It was how you looked at him.
hungry.
that's all patrick thought as art drew closer and closer to him. fuck, when art placed a hand on his thigh. fuck, when his cock twitched. fuck, when art said he missed those days back in college. fuck, when art leaned in and patrick didn't pull away.
fuck.
fuck again, when he came to and they were back at arts apartment - fuck when they passed your room and thank fuck you weren't home, thank fuck - fuck fuck fuck when art got on his knees and stroked patricks cock and patrick thought his first clear thought of the night -
fuck fuck and fuck again because he lost his mind a little when arts lips touched his. went a little dizzy with it.
fuck fuck fuck - because arts sinful pink mouth descended around him and he fucking moaned around it and in some twisted dark corner of patricks seedy mind he thought art must taste you on him - must know its you hes tasting and thats why he throats him deeper like a fucking whore.
i fucked her this morning. he's about to suck his daughter's pussy off my dick and he doesn't even fucking know -
patrick knows hes going to hell.
he knows it because he uses the same fingers he'd had inside your cunt to spread your dads ass open for the same dick he'd plunged into you - he knows hes going to hell because when he slides inside and art moans he thinks he sounds just as pretty as you do - they take me so fucking well - made for me - fucking made for me
and when he pulls out to come down and swallow arts cock down his own throat he moans when he thinks about kissing you later tonight with your fathers spunk on his tongue -
hes going to hell.
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their-little-writer · 5 months
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“I’m here now, my deer”
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hi, this was requested so I hope you all like it! Not proof read
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This week was a rough week for you- there have been a lot of issues and chaos going on lately due to the extermination coming up lately. Auntie Charlie and vaggie have been running around and trying to figure out a plan. Uncle husk and big brother angel/ sir pentious have been making weapons and trying to build protection to help protect the hotel and you papa has been making sure things have been going ok and has been going to a lot of meetings with the overloads so you have been alone a lot this week. Heck you even got put in time out a few times because you were upset that no one was around and that your papa was missing.  
Like he was there for a few small moments at a time, and he always put you to bed but you still missed him and wanted to spend more time with him. This wasn’t fair to you; you were just a small little baby. You shouldn't be alone; you should be in papa's arms while he sings you soft songs as he feeds you a bottle. But no, you were in your tiny room all by yourself.  
It was in the late afternoon; the sun was beaming through the windows of your nursery, and you were in your crib. You had just woken up from your nap and you were not having it right now, 
you had a dream where people were saying icky things to you and your Carrers just watched and didn't say anything. You had tears in your eyes that were soon running down your face, and you were whining as you held your blanky close to you. Before you could roll over and see you heard the door open  “Sweet pea...?” you heard a familiar voice say as they walked over to you. When you looked up you saw your papa, he smiled softly but you could tell in his eyes he looked a little worried for you. “What is wrong my dear...?” He asked as he gently picked you up from your crib, with your blanket around you. You tried to use your words however you couldn't, there had been to much going on and you couldn't bear it anymore, you just felt your tiny self-get to overwhelmed and started to cry into your papas shoulder.   
“Now now my little deer what's the matter..?” he asked as he gently rubbed his hand over your back trying to calm down “Did you have a bad dream..?” he asked as he gently swayed with you. You nodded your tiny little head softly “Aw your poor thing.. Lets get you a bottle made..” he said as he gently carried you in his arms to the kitchen as he started to make you a bottle.  
He gently fed you as he carried you back to your room and sat in the nursery. It stayed quite for awhile however once you were done he sat the bottle on a side table as gently rubbed your back as you laid on his chest “Why did you have a bad dream my little fawn?” he asked softly. Words were  hard since you were small right now, so feeling bad you gently pointed at him. “Me..?” he asked softly as he tried to think about it. “Is it because ive been busy..?” he asked, and when you gave a small nod he felt horrible “I know ive been busy my little fawn... im so sorry i dont mean to be...it must be hard for you since its been so crazy..” You nodded again as a small sigh left your mouth.  
“I promise i will try to be here more my little deer..” He said softly. “What would you like to do today my little fawn.. We can do anything you want to...” alastor said as he gently looked over to you. You bable softly in respone, a soft smile on alastors face as you do “Hm, that sounded like music, am i right?” he asked. You cooed at his answer which basically meant yes so with a smile he gently got you up and carried you to your changing table “ok baby fawn but you gotta get changed first, and then we can ok?”. You nodded softly as he changed you and put you in a onesie, then he grabbed your blanky, paci, and stuffie as he made his way to his raido tower. He opend the window softly as he went and sat in his chair as he turned on his raido which turned on soft lullubys for you as he gently swayed with you and your stuffie. 
The night was peaceful as later made you dinner, read you books, and gave you a bubble bath, because no matter how busy he was, Alastor always made time for you, after all he was your papa, and you were his fawn.  
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧
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shitsndgiggs · 1 month
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kenan teaching the reader how to drive 😭🙏🏻 (im learning how to drive rn and i need to be able to laugh at someone else being a bad driver other than myself, even if its fictional (if i dont laugh i will cry, im just a girl, literally just about to turn 17 what am i even doing driving a car🙏🏻)
sorry for the rant HAHAHHA
CHAOTIC DRIVER - KENAN YILDIZ
Kenan teaching you how to drive
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
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︵��୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
“Alright, babe, this is easy. Just gently press on the gas, and we’ll start rolling,” Kenan says, trying to sound calm, though I can see the faint hint of nervousness in his eyes.
We’re parked in an empty lot, and I’m sitting behind the wheel, staring at the pedals like they’re complicated pieces of machinery. “Gas, got it,” I mutter, nodding to myself.
I tap the pedal, but instead of a gentle start, the car jerks forward as if it’s been shot out of a cannon. Kenan’s body lurches in his seat, his hands gripping the dashboard as if his life depends on it.
“Whoa! Not so hard!” he yells, his voice an octave higher than usual.
“Sorry! Sorry!” I shout back, my heart racing as I slam on the brake. The car screeches to a stop, throwing us both forward again.
Kenan’s breathing heavily, trying to collect himself. “Okay, okay… let’s take a deep breath,” he says, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, clearly trying to calm his nerves.
“Right, deep breath,” I echo, following his lead. “I can do this.”
He glances over at me, offering a shaky smile. “Of course you can, just… you know, easy on the gas.”
I nod, biting my lip as I carefully press the pedal again. The car moves forward, this time much slower, but it’s wobbling like a drunk person trying to walk a straight line. Kenan’s hand hovers near the steering wheel, ready to grab it at any second.
“Okay, now let’s try turning,” he instructs, pointing to the right. “Just a small turn of the wheel.”
I turn the wheel, but instead of a smooth curve, the car veers sharply, nearly hopping the curb. Kenan yelps, grabbing the wheel to straighten us out.
“Oh my God, we’re gonna die!” I scream, slamming on the brakes again. We come to another jerky halt, and Kenan’s breathing like he just ran a marathon.
“No one’s dying, babe, no one’s dying,” he says, though it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than me. “But maybe… maybe let’s just stick to going straight for now?”
“Good idea,” I agree, my heart pounding in my chest. “Straight is good. I like straight.”
Kenan gives me a cautious nod, and I ease the car forward again. We’re finally moving smoothly, and I start to relax, just a little.
“That’s better, see? You’re doing great!” Kenan says, a hint of pride in his voice.
But then I spot a pigeon on the road up ahead. Panicking, I swerve dramatically to avoid it, sending us careening toward a row of trash bins.
“Watch out!” Kenan shouts, his hands flying to the wheel as he tries to steer us away from disaster.
We narrowly miss the bins, and the car sways back into the middle of the lot. My hands are shaking, and Kenan looks like he’s on the verge of a heart attack.
“What the hell was that?!” he exclaims, his eyes wide.
“A pigeon! I didn’t want to hit it!” I explain, my voice trembling.
“It’s a pigeon, it can fly!” he says, rubbing his temples. “Oh my God, I’m gonna need therapy after this.”
I can’t help but laugh at his dramatic response, even though my own nerves are shot. “Well, I didn’t want to be responsible for pigeon murder, okay?”
Kenan just stares at me for a moment, and then he bursts out laughing too, the tension finally breaking. “You’re unbelievable,” he says, shaking his head, but there’s a fondness in his voice that makes me smile.
“I’m sorry, I’m really trying,” I say, still giggling. “I didn’t realize driving would be this hard.”
Kenan reaches over and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, babe. We’ll get there. Maybe… maybe not today, but someday.”
We’re both still laughing when I decide to give it one last shot. I press the gas a bit more confidently this time, and the car starts moving smoothly again. But then, out of nowhere, I see another car entering the lot.
“Kenan, there’s a car!” I scream, even though it’s like a mile away.
“Babe, it’s fine, just keep going straight—” he starts, but it’s too late. I’ve already panicked and slammed on the brakes again, bringing us to another abrupt halt.
The other car, which is nowhere near us, drives by without a care in the world. Meanwhile, Kenan’s slumped back in his seat, eyes closed, like he’s questioning all of his life choices.
“I think… maybe we should call it a day,” I suggest, wincing as I look at him.
He slowly opens his eyes, giving me a weary smile. “Yeah… yeah, that’s probably for the best. But hey, you didn’t crash, so that’s a win.”
“Barely,” I mutter, feeling embarrassed.
Kenan chuckles, leaning over to press a kiss to my forehead. “You did your best, and that’s what matters. We’ll keep practicing, and one day you’ll be driving like a pro.”
“Or you’ll be dead from a heart attack before then,” I joke, earning a laugh from him.
“Possibly,” he agrees, shaking his head. “But at least it’ll be an adventure.”
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