#i dont want to be just another person that demands shit from you and treats you as if they own you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shera-dnd · 4 months ago

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I'm really sorry to post my replies with images deemed NSFW.

Long story short - Varvara is being pretty much converted using Kyouka as a medium (indirect kiss etc.).

That is creepy and disgusting and should not be viewed as a Bi representation but as something homophobic and harmful.

It is even more creepy and disgusting when You took into this equation that Yuuki pretty much knew how she felt about Kyouka and even approved of said feelings.

Long story short - he should demand nothing, yet he demanded everything.

Once again and this time for the last - dont treat it as a Bi rep but as a something creepy and disgusting. And dont be okay with that.

Thank You.

Well good morning, this was the first thing I saw when I woke up. I feel like a lot of people would have chosen violence upon seeing this, but arguing with or venting at someone on the internet has never solved anything, so how about we make a learning experience out of this?

Okay so, no I did not delete your asks because they had NSFW imagery, I deleted them because they came across as very angry and accusatory

Now I'm not gonna hold that against you right now and we're just gonna have a chat. You said you were an ally to the LGBT community, so I hope that you will sit down and listen to what I have to say. You're free to disagree and argue, but at least listen first

On the point you are trying to make about that scene in the manga. I've decided to catch up on it so I could talk about it properly

And I have to say that I do not see it. Like I believe the term you're looking for is less "conversion therapy" and more "corrective rape". The idea that you can fuck the gay out of a woman is deeply gross and the fact people genuinely believe that is horrifying

BUT I don't think that's what's going on in that scene. It's framed as yet another reward, which as usual exists outside of the control of any of the characters and lands entirely in the box of "things the author thought would be hot at the moment"

It is also expressly said that they're "punishing" each other so that they can better serve Kyouka, once again centering their attraction not on each other, but on someone else

Considering also that from that point on nothing has happened to indicate Varvara was any more into Yuuki or any less into Kyouka than any time before that scene

Now as much as I loved to joke about and headcanon Varvara as a lesbian, I was never under any illusion that the ecchi femdom slave kink manga would give me proper lesbian representation.

Varvara had only expressed attraction to women before and now she showed attraction to a man, to me that shows less lesbian conversion and more like one of those tumblr bi women who absolutely adore women and also have that one pathetic man they're into

The way I read this it's whatever

But you read it differently and you have every right to be grossed out. You have every right to be angry and to drop the manga entirely. I'm not here to defend Mato Seihei no Slave

But I have to ask, as an ally, did you come to me because you wanted the genuine opinion of a queer person? or did you do it because you wanted a queer person to validate the opinion you already had?

Just, you know, do some self reflection on that

Anyways back to Chained Soldier, I'll admit there's plenty of gross shit in it. Like jesus fuck have you seen all the reward scenes with Ren??? and I'll fully admit that the manga is capital P Problematic

I just think that the way we should deal with problematic media is not by shutting it down entirely, but by actually engaging with it, understanding what makes it problematic, and making sure that we don't internalize those parts of it

Problematic media can have a lot of good stuff in it besides all the nasty bits, we just gotta like know how to engage with it in a way that doesn't like change our views for the worse

As for the impact this could have on its readers and how they treat lesbians in real life. I don't think anyone who reads this and actually engages with it will come on to any lesbians and be gross to them, because well Yuuki doesn't come on to... anyone actually.

Our boy is very passive about everything that happens and will downright refuse any sexual advances that are not tied to the rewards. He did not initiate the stuff with Varvara and did not force himself on her

And the people who WOULD come on to lesbians and think they can "set them straight", I don't think they need a manga to validate their disgusting beliefs

But you also said you wanted to contact LGBT organizations in Japan to help fight against this kind of stuff, and you know what you got the spirit there

I don't think a manga being gross is even on the top like 100 things those organizations are trying to deal with in that country, and even if it was there are waaaaaaaay bigger and nastier manga to deal with first

But hey that doesn't mean these people can't use our support, so please consider donating to Stone Wall Japan and Japan Pride House, both organizations that try to help queer people, as well as J-ALL which is trying to help grant legal protections to LGBT+ people in Japan

I'll be posting links at the end of this post and will happily signal boost any other japanese charities sent my way

And just as another note at the end

I disabled anon asks for a reason, and you creating an alt account just to send me an ask is extremely shady behavior. That's a boundary I have set that you chose to disrespect and I have every reason to block you for it. I won't, because I genuinely think you're just a person trying to learn and be validated in your opinion, but just don't do that kind of shit again

anyways I hope you take at least some of what I've said to heart and here are the donation links!

#don't even know what to tag this as #discourse I guess?

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xamaxenta · 3 months ago

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Oops chagrined is not the word I meant to use for the maid. I guess the right term would be... exasperated? The clothing is among the prince’s laundry meaning he wants it to be treated as his own, but the quality of the fabric is noticeably lesser so really he’s just making more work for her by having her wash someone else’s clothing. It’s not until it happens several more times that she clocks in exactly the owner of said less expensive more hardy durable clothes and starts separating Ace’s clean laundry from the prince’s when she finally returns them. (Really it’s just practice for when they’re the king and crown prince and have one room and share everything between them. But it is annoying for now strictly because the disinfectant process differs for the attire of knights, strong enough to easily wash away blood and caked-on grime and would ruin Sabo’s delicate fashion tastes and strip the vivid dyes he so often adorns. Twice the load and twice the work unfortunately but that’s just another great example of Sabo’s selfishness winning out when he demands what can’t possibly be refuted by someone of lower status than he.)

You mentioned wedlock which is funny so now I’m curious if you had any other thoughts on marriage? I guess I’ve always associated marriage with religion and didn’t want to think about god/s for this AU so I disregarded it as something unimportant to the kingdom/culture. If two people are living together then they’re romantically involved and all that shiz yeah? No deep thoughts my head is a vacuum ready to be filled.

I was jesting about chagrined maids but you came back with such a thoughtful follow up about different fabrics and linens that it was such a delightful addition to the initial concept, i love how detailed you are, thinking about the soaps and difference jn treatment that both Ace and Sabos clothes would require, and having to sort those and the effort someone of the servitude status would have to undergo

And of course the fond/exasperated (yessss beautiful word) resignation of this maid to have to do both sets of laundry because Sabo IS so selfish, he is the prince after all and this is his lover’s, his personal guards garments too, they should be treated with just as much care

About marriage: GOOD QUESTION!!! i dont personally tie marriage with religion i see it as a title that officiates two or more persons love for one another?? Really basic view tbh , when logically now that youve brought it to my attention it really is a religious based ceremony huh

I get you, i didnt really think much about god/s for this au either, when people can cast world shattering magic n all theyre basically “divine” in that aspect already haha

But for funnnn… what if there is theology or whatever, old old gods, and perhaps… this is an old maid (i am losing my shit over this lady being Dadan or something CAN YOU IMAGINE LMAO 😭😭😭) and she was raised religious so shes there thinking these brats r being real scandalous about their relationship when i really do like the whole when people are living together like Ace and Sabo, its so plainly obvious theyre involved romantically, id say the kingdom roger and soon sabo will rule is not a holy kingdom or anything but people believe what they choose

#and that marriage isnt a huge deal either but politically i suppose… its all about them weddings huh #anyway i cant get into royalty and their weddings its alot and i am frankly too stupid to parse that #’my prince we really shouldn’t’ au #saboace #acebo #should chance this to #my prince we actually should ah #au* but lmao

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mercifullymad · 1 year ago

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yeah i have ocd too and ive been reading your posts + the ask you answered and man i really really feel it. i was in erp for about two years steady, and i was genuinely able to overcome a few of my less severe obsessions that way, to a large amount of relief. but for my most severe thing, a (very visible, facially) brfb obsession/compulsion that has caused me so much strife and social anxiety for years, i got next to nowhere. even when i would manage to go a handful of days without doing it, i would inevitably lapse - and then feel like absolute shit about it, because i felt like i wasn’t strong enough to win this battle i’d been told i’m fighting. since i have some overlapping perfectionism issues, this cycle was just brutal for my self esteem. then my regular erp therapist retired, and ive been meaning to get back into it but the thought just.. exhausts me. but then i also keep brfb-ing myself and still need help with that. but then erp wasn’t really working on it anyway… it’s really left me feeling like i don’t know what to do. so on the one hand i fully agree with what youre saying about how erp is not necessarily the answer to every o/c and that reassurance is not the Worst Imaginable Thing to offer a person with ocd, but unlike some other compulsions that im sure could be lived with, the thought of going through my whole life doing what i do is… hard lol. socially, mentally, physically hard. anyway i dont mean to just vent at you.. i guess my point is that yeah its just so so so frustrating that erp and fighter mentality is treated as kind of the be all end all solution for ocd right now.

like not to sound like a baby but. im not looking for a fight, im looking for help!! and yeah “only i can save me” or whatever but it feels like ocd is kind of underrepresented in the world of mental illnesses that are/can be utterly debilitating. because its nuts that there is kind of no other treatment suggestion for who are really suffering and simply arent - for whatever reason, temporarily or otherwise - the vigilant mentally tough fighters erp recovery models want us to be. and i dont even mean that in a defeatist or deprecating way, i mean like.. sometimes your ocd makes you depressed! and then, what with the depression and all, you just don’t have it in you for what erp demands. im not a psychologist or anything but man there’s gotta be a better a way

I really relate to and empathize with what you’re saying. I also struggle with a BFRB where I pick at my face and other very visible spots on my body, which increases my already-substantial social anxiety. It is an absolutely brutal cycle for self-esteem, including how you feel “defeated” by not being “strong enough” to be a “OCD fighter.” This is another reason why I don’t like the fight(er) framing around OCD; it makes those who don’t respond to ERP in the prescribed way feel like they have failed, rather than there being a morally-neutral mismatch between the treatment and the individual.

I do want to ensure we don’t fall into the misconception that critiquing ERP or other “gold standard” treatments for OCD means that the only other option is to learn to live with OCD without attempting to alleviate our suffering or cut back on our compulsive rituals. I have tried, as I’m sure you have, a great many things to try and stop myself from picking (badly) at my face: countless fidget toys, thick press-on nails, NAC pills, pimple patches and hydrocolloid band-aids, reducing my anxiety levels, avoiding mirrors, etc. I doubt I will ever completely eliminate my urge to pick, but I can pick and choose (ha) from what treatments, therapies, and means of harm reduction I find most effective in combination with each other. I can try lots of different things and see what works for me and what doesn’t. And this approach — going in with the assumption that many things won’t work for me, and some will, and neither of those results is a moral reflection of how hard I’m “fighting OCD” — allows me to have a more compassionate and forgiving relationship to myself and my picking.

You really nail my own feelings when you say “I’m not looking for a fight, I’m looking for help.” This framing of requiring mad/mentally ill people to be “fighters” in order to receive help/treatment is extremely counterintuitive for those of us too depressed to muster up the energy to “fight.” One of the reasons I stopped structured ERP was because I was too depressed to get out of bed, let alone go out into the world and do daily exposures. Like most of the mental health treatment industry, this treatment is not structured for people seriously struggling in more than one area, despite the fact that most people do.

I agree that there has to be a better way to treat/heal from/live with OCD than the limited options we’re given now, and I believe that creating these “better ways” starts with conversations like this one: talking, sharing, and brainstorming with other mad people and forging new ways of relating to each other and ourselves. I sincerely hope that you’re able to hold compassion for yourself, regardless of whether you “lapse” in picking, and that you’re able to access means of treatment that work best for you as an individual. This is an extremely difficult thing to live with, but thankfully, we don’t have to live with it alone — there is a community ready to commiserate and create with you, regardless of how “successful” you are at “fighting” OCD.

#really appreciated this ask #thank you for enunciating so many things I have felt and still feel myself!!#ask

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 1 year ago

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already reblogged this in my queue..... but also as a trainee, the host company actively telling you NOT to apply for their job openings when they're actively hiring. like last year, during my cadetship, the receptionist that I became close with applied for the maintenance officer role, and got it, so the role of receptionist opened up. I ran it by the people who were running the cadetship course, and they said "yes! apply! we want you to stay in this field!"

but once I asked my first original manager "hey can I apply for the receptionist position?" she asked me "im sorry, but what makes you think you can apply for that? under my management, you're not quite there yet anyway. so I'd advise you not to apply." like.... she was right, in a sense, in hindsight that I didn't have enough experience really to apply for the receptionist position, since I'd only had like 3 weeks training at that point on phones on front reception.

but still. that was SO fucking deflating, telling your cadet/trainee NOT to apply, as if your goal is to NOT give them an ongoing job. so when it came to the end of my contract back in march this year, and another lady was leaving with me..... I considered applying for her job (community housing worker/social housing tenancy worker), all bc that's what I was SUPPOSED to be by the end of this program. but I knew if I asked about applying or just applied for the sake of it, they'd instantly tell me to either NOT apply or to immediately rescind my application to the position.... or ask why I'd even applied in the first place, despite their constant suggestions that I go into support work. just. it was fucking awful and draining, and im glad I left.

like to be fair, I did have performance meetings there after the month (nov 2022) of NEVER being off the phones... and them eventually near the end ALWAYS scheduling me out of meetings and training, sometimes at the very last minute (despite their lectures that YOU NEED TO LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR WORKLOAD AND TIME BETTER!!!! cassy, you can't manage for SHIT. love that hypocrisy you're wearing on the daily).... but then just coating it in "DO BETTER SELF CARE!!! LEARN TO JOURNAL!!!! GET HOBBIES!!!"

finally, from the other side, the people running the course demanding WHY ARENT YOU FIGHTING FOR YOUR CAREER???? WHY DONT YOU CARE!!!!???? FIGHT FOR IT AND STAY IN THIS FIELD!!!!" no. if I'm treated like shit and guilted from ALL sides.... it's utterly pointless fighting for ANYTHING at this stupid ass place; or in this field. im fucking leaving this toxic ass field... even though I know the modern workplace is toxic no matter where you work... and that you can get shit management and guilting managers everywhere as well. and plus guys, you know in a way, that im transient anyway. I'm here solely to get office work experience. stop harassing and guilting me to stay in it, by saying I have "the incorrect personality for admin". go fuck yourselves.

and you know, companies are lazy with interviewing, too!!! I read an article the other day from harvard business review, that said some companies average at least 3 to 5 interviews per a hiring process..... they obvs say that "oh it's make sure we get the candidates from EVERY angle possible to get the right fit". but one of the women that they interviewed or quoted for the article (since she'd made a tiktok about the NIGHTMARE hiring processes for one company she'd applied for) had like 4-6 months of interviewing and hiring tests.... until she'd ultimately got another better paying job with fewer bullshit hiring hoops to jump through. or when companies give shit title promotions without pay rises (a jump to team leader/manager or something) or purposely demote you when you have kids etc. like it's fucked.

#shut up ilona #ilona adds to a big post #ilona makes a big rant/diatribe/lecture on a big post #actually i still wonder if anyone got the extra training the asked for last year at that workplace....#....like the justice of the peace (JP) training that the allocations officer wanted or housing pathways etc....#actually it was earlier this year right before i left #.... since they wanted EVERYONE do each others jobs when someone was off #whoops also made a tag rant on this post too

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attemptsonherlifepdf · 3 years ago

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bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ��incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act. whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

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willowedwisteria · 3 years ago

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i know that i should be saying this to pink but after what shes been through i ought to give her some space since shes got a busy life but like-

so i decided to uh look for her source of inspo which is you-

can we talk about the many achievements she did during her time in tumblr like how she singlehandedly manage to revive the cookie run fandom with her SACRK AU

how she manage to get popular writers look at her genshin works on her previous account

how she made fanart and submitted them to you despite her artstyle not being on the anime side which the hate anons like to shit on

how her quotev story breaks the norms of the genshin quotev cliche stories by getting your villain darling au to quotev cause she wasnt comfortable writing a long story on tumblr

and dont forget her latest work of having her only pokemon post at the top of the pokemon x reader page that one time

and of course her biggest achievement...

her sending you the ask that birthed the villain au when she was an anon.

like i said, i know i should be saying this to pink, but given her posts about how she was not going to write anymore HERE due to feeling like a 9-5 worker and the hate anons shes been having months and even on her previous blogs, i was surprised that despite all that, she still hadnt given up on writing completely. and i thought, wow, wisteria mustve have motivated pink that much despite being younger than her.

but this also should be a lesson to everyone else >:(((

you shouldnt treat writers like they're just workers in a retail shop! they're writers that have a passion on making imaginations come true! not only that, they have lives outside of tumblr.

if they say they're going to delay/go on a hiatus/etc, be understanding! dont demand for more content when they got 100+ asks in their inbox! dont rush them when some of them have school and college to deal with!

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im sorry for clogging your inbox

-long time lurker anon am sorry

Oh my gosh, I genuinely cried reading this.

@byulla-ponk <3

I have a few things I wanted to say about each paragraph.

1. I'm glad you're thinking about her space and probably the ridiculous amounts of asks that are in her inbox. I'm grateful to people like you and I'm sure there are many out there who feel the same way.

2. I'm very happy and even proud of Byu-byu's (Pink's) achievements. She was very aware of what she was writing, she knew when to stop the moment CRK started getting involved with NFTs. Reviving the CRK fandom in Tumblr isn't an easy task and I'm so happy about her getting the attention she deserves.

3. Normally, as a writer myself, I don't actually read much. The fact that other writers actually read Pink's works is an amazing feat on its own, not to mention that I wouldn't be surprised if someone mentioned that they were inspired by Pink.

4. I was always happy to receive fanart and I personally have no right to judge someone's art style because I don't draw myself and I have no idea how to. Plus, every artist has their own style. Even if it isn't too appealing to the eye, everyone can still appreciate art.

5. I was definitely surprised to find out that someone went all the way to quotev and STILL CREDITED AND MENTIONED THAT THEY WERE INSPIRED BY ME. It wouldn't a shocker to me if anyone just took my ideas without crediting me at all, especially on another website.

6. Having your works at the top of a page is certainly remarkable. I know this might sound weird coming from someone who is younger than Pink, but I knew she had potential and, with practice, she could be an amazing writer.

7. Her biggest achievement, her sending me the ask that lead to the creation of what's now the most, if not, one of the most popular AUs in the SAGAU genshin plot hole. It might have been ultimately a misinterpretation on my side, but it was a blessing in disguise.

8. I understand and I'm extremely grateful for Pink's sake that there are anons and fans out there caring for her wellbeing. According to Pink, she's currently focusing on real-life things. I was surprised about her not giving up, but I would totally understand if she decided to go on a hiatus due to the unreasonable hate being thrown at her.

As a fellow writer and Pink's inspiration, I feel like I should look out for her and understand the pressure she might be going through. My encouragement can't compare to how resilient she has been facing against hate anons.

MASSIVE NOTE: If I give you motivation, that doesn't sum up to a reason why you shouldn't quit doing a specific action if you genuinely are tired of it or you just don't like it. Just because I might be your main source of joy and inspiration, that does not mean you shouldn't quit writing when I offer you encouragement IF WRITING IS TAKING A TOLL ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, WELL BEING, AND ENERGY.

In my humble opinion, treat writers as human. Some writers will always have this feeling that they should always write out whatever someone had requested to them. Please be considerate about what kind of updates they've been giving, their rules and regulations, your attitude towards the writers, and their mental health.

Thank you anon for sending this ask to me.

-Wisteria

#Wisteriachats

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dirk-has-rabies · 4 years ago

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Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

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gayfrenchtoast · 4 years ago

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Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

#decendants #decendants 3 #mal #carlos de vil #jay #harry hook #uma

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fraidy-farfelle · 3 years ago

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This is my attempt at the Fluff ABCs for Frankie the Undead. Please be gentle with criticism because I cry easily. I’ve taken some ideas from @lovestruck-lasagna.

Taglist: @writingfromthetomb @beebubb

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Your dry sense of humor. It perfectly matches his insults and he doesn’t have to go out of his way to make you laugh. He just says what he’s thinking and you laugh and agree.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Frankie appreciates a good smile, and for many reasons. He learned to read smiles (fake vs real) early on and uses it to gauge people, so he pays particular attention by default. He’s a sucker for cute dimples, and loves the way your nose scrunches and your eyes close.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

He loves late at night when you share the couch and he can read a good book, sip on some whiskey, or puff on a cigar. He really doesn’t care what you’re doing, he can tune out the TV or you prattling on about your day and make comments to show he’s listening. Put your feet in his lap, lay on top of him, make yourselves mummies in blankets, so long as he can reach his glass he doesn’t care. He just wants to be with you.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Stay in date nights are his favorite. He doesn’t really like to “share” your attention. He likes to either cook a meal together or order takeout and watch a movie. Particularly black and white gangster ones, or older horror films. Likes to tease you if you get scared and grab onto him. He’ll pat your head and say something like “oh there there, don’t be scared! I won’t let the big, bad monster getcha!” (Like your neighbor isn’t a 7 ft tall children murdering clown demon) If you go out, he prefers less crowded places outdoors.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He’s a spitfire and he knows it. He tends to explode and then after a few minutes apologizes gruffly and explains himself. “WHY WERE YA OUT UNTIL MIDNIGHT, THATS SUCH A STUPID THING TO DO!” “Sorry, Frankie.” “…… ugh just, please get home earlier from now on. It’s dangerous and I worry about you.” Definitely doesn’t hug you close so you don’t see the relief and worry on his face. Nope!

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

He misses Amy desperately. He wants a little girl in his life again, although he’ll never ever admit it. He’s hesitant to make relationships because he doesn’t want to be hurt again. But, if you go out with him to the living world, you’ll catch him staring longingly at parents and daughters when he thinks you’re not looking. If you ask him what he’s looking at, he’ll shake his head and spit out a line about children being obnoxious but you can tell he’s blowing smoke.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

If the underworld wasn’t so dangerous, he’d love to drape you in the finest silks with diamonds and rubies dripping off of you. However he doesn’t want you to draw any unnecessary attention to yourself. So, he settles for things you don’t really see in public. He also doesn’t like to be found out about it. Your gas tank is filled, the bill you were worried about has mysteriously been paid, your favorite ice cream is in your freezer when you know you ate the last of it yesterday, and hey, didn’t you spend this $20? Why is it in your wallet? If you ever bring it up he’ll just shrug and say “How strange!”

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

He’s torn about PDA because he doesn’t want you to become a target because you’re associated with him, and people stare at him enough because of his appearance. But on the other hand, he wants to show the world that someone as worthless as him (don’t say that we love you Frankie) has such an amazing person that loves him. Will absolutely grab you and passionately make out with you with one hand on your ass and the other flipping the bird to the cheeky bastard that told the broad beside him to watch out for the zombie.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Panic. Sheer panic. He’s so afraid to lose you, any injury is serious and cause for alarm.

Frankie:*bursting into a hospital lobby, screaming to be taken to f/n l/n immediately**running in the opposite direction the nurse pointed in panic**bursts into exam room 30 seconds later* “Y/N!!!!! I came as soon as I got the message, WHATS WRONG!!!”

You: *sitting on the table, reading phone* “Oh, I have a sprained ankle and they don’t want me to drive so can you give me a ride?”

Frankie:*slowly blinking* “Uh, yeah no problem…”

You: “lemme guess, you heard my name and hospital in the same sentence and ignored everything else.”

Frankie:*hanging his head* “go wait in the car, I’ll go apologize….”

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Not actual jokes, but he loves to sit with you and insult people. He’s an incredibly sweet person to you, but no one else. (Except service people, like nurses and waitresses. Just the general public) he doesn’t think pranks are funny or practical, which is one of the many reasons he and LJ butt heads. If LJ or Will prank you or him, he’s raising hell.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Love kissing your lips. He’s actually really self conscious about his mouth stitches and constantly frets they feel weird to you. Neck kisses are another favorite and are extremely private to him. He also likes to hold the back of your hand against his lips and tell you what he’s thinking, no matter how mundane. Kiss his stitches. Please. Just do it.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

He has trouble saying it to your face. He’ll whisper it to you when he thinks you’re sleeping, and he’s been known to leave little notes around for you to find. He thinks protecting you is the best way to show he cares.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

The day you finally broke down and told him you loved him. He knew as soon as he looked into your eyes and saw your smile his goose was cooked. He was very abrasive and hoping against hope that you’d leave him be. He knew you deserved better. He was so afraid to build a relationship and love again, he wanted to distance himself and if he was an asshole to you, it would be justified and you’d do it on your own. What he didn’t expect is for you to be so kind to him. Upon your initial meeting, he had been a little harsh, but helped you (if there’s enough interest I’ll do a fic about it) and so when he subsequently was a jerk to you, you were curious and determined to find out what he was hiding. He finally had been mean enough to make you cry. He had never regretted something he did before. He immediately wanted to cradle you to him and beg your forgiveness. Normally when he insulted you, you’d have a snarky retort in reply. But not this time. You fell to your knees and clung to his legs and demanded to know why he treated you so poorly and proclaimed your love for him. It was probably by accident and you were so distraught you didn’t even know it flew from your mouth, but hearing it, he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted you. Hearing that you loved someone like him made him so happy, he knew he’d treasure the memory forever

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you. Period.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

What ISNT odd about this man?! A cute one is he always winks with his green eye.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

I HC that he was born in the 30’s, so he calls you “doll” a lot but only in private. He uses your name otherwise so it’s not as obvious to people watching you’re together. He will absolutely refer to you as “the dame” to others. The equivalent of “the boss” or “old lady.” “William! The Dame is trying to take a nap, so shut up or I’ll shoot you!” You call him stitches to tease him in private and are the only person allowed to do so.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?) Either taking naps or couch potato time. Also, low key likes to cook with you. He can’t cook for shit, but likes to “help” by handing you things or chopping things for you. Is a super good taste tester, self appointed.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Stitches by Shawn Mendez (PLEASE DONT HURT ME!!)

We don’t have to Dance by Andy Black (referring to how he can’t really show you affection in public but he loves you)

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He’s open about himself and what he’s thinking, and will always take what you say into consideration. He doesn’t like to keep things from you, but he does omit some detail about his jobs if you ask about them. He just feels like you don’t need to be stressed about it.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

LJ picked up on Frankie’s fondness of you almost instantly. He and Will decided to do what they could to get you together in the interest of making Frankie less of a grouch. If it hadn’t been for them insisting that he was good guy to you, you probably WOULD have let Frankie’s prickly nature drive you away. It took a year or so for you to break down.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?) A powder keg of insults, foul language, and bullets. Has actually never called you a name outright, and would absolutely never physically hurt you. When he was deliberately being rude to you, he’d insult your actions rather than you. “Stop acting like a dumb broad!” Vs calling you a bitch to your face. He usually calms down quickly, and is hardly ever angry at you, only when you put yourself in danger.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He likes that he’s scary and tough looking so that when you’re with him, other men scatter pretty fast. Has had many occasions where he stepped away and someone came to flirt with you and he came back and had the pleasure of scaring them.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

You are not allowed to do anything dangerous, ever! Will teach you how to use a gun and how to counter things like chokeholds, so you’re less vulnerable. Will absolutely lose his mind if he learns you’ve put yourself at risk. He will shoot someone so fast for you. Takes every person as a threat to you and will pick fights with somebody that accidentally bumped into you. Do NOT test this man.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

You are an open book to him. He’s learned to read people well, and he takes his time studying you. Can tell if you’re getting sick before you can. More than once he’s handed you a bottle of Tylenol, leaving you bewildered, and shrugged and said to take them because you’ll have a headache in a few minutes. He can pick up on your emotions easily and has learned what to do to handle them.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

Honestly, marriage isn’t that important to him. He’s not opposed to the idea at all, but like you’ve been together for this long, you love each other, is it really necessary? You’d have to tell him you want to be officially married. He’ll buy you a ring, to show that you’re taken, if nothing else, but he’ll wear his around his neck under his tie so it’s not obvious he’s attached to anyone to discourage his rivals using you to get to him.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

The smell of your perfume. Holding you in his arms and taking deep breaths makes all of his troubles go away.

#frankie the undead #frankie creeps #creepypasta

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arhvste · 4 years ago

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hello!! congrats on 900+ 💖💖💖 for the event, would it be okay to ask for atsumu for prompt #5 or #30? (your pick, i can't choose between the two ��)

thank you! i hope you're staying safe, pls take care 💖

haha thank u bb !! ✨

❛dont be stupid you know i love you ❜

“stupid pigs.”

atsumu huffed as you listened to him complain about his performance in his last game.

“i know we won but that’s not the point! how many times do i have to tell the annoying girls to shut their damn mouths while i’m servin?!”

you rolled your eyes at your childhood friends whining.

“they’re just showing you support the least you can do is be a little appreciative.”

“just whos side are ya on?!”

“samu’s.”

atsumu scoffed and threw himself back on your bed where you were propped up on your phone dividing your attention between whatever was occupying your screen and his complaining.

he watched the way your eyes narrowed while you read something from your screen, the bite of the corner of your lip when something really caught your attention, the furrow in your eyebrows when you were confused. atsumu knew you like the back of his hand by now.

you’d been friends with the twins for as long as you could remember. growing up with the boisterous atsumu and laid back osamu, you got the best of both worlds as osamu would tease his brother and then atsumu would demand you take his side.

as time went on, atsumu had naturally gravitated closest to you as you brought him back down when he needed it. you were his anchor he’d like to say. you were still great friends with osamu too but he didn’t rely on you as much as atsumu did so the artificial blonde dominated most of your attention between the two of them.

the girls are school were beyond envious of your bond with the twins. they were practically untouchable but you had the power to talk and approach them whenever you felt and they would never turn you away, always accepting your conversation with warm smiles and laughter. they even went out of their own ways to talk to you and eat lunch with you occasionally which drove fangirls livid. atsumu liked the fact you didn’t care about them though. you didn’t think twice about the jealous stares or bitter comments thrown your way. who were they to tell you who you could and couldnt be friends with? he liked your headstrong attitude and was proud of you for it.

“i just want one match where things go my way is that that too much to ask?” he whined as you tore your eyes away from your device momentarily.

“god you’re so insatiable.”

“am i not allowed to be?” his eyebrow quirked.

“not when you’re whining and bitching my ear off.”

that comment earned you a pillow to the face. atsumu couldnt contain his laughter as he watched your phone drop to the floor and your shocked face try to process the fact you’d just been hit.

“you’re such a pain!” you scoffed grabbing another pillow and launching it in his direction.

“silly, silly girl, playin like this with a startin player on the volleyball team.” he smirked as he caught the pillow you threw with ease.

he tossed it back to you resulting in a hit to your arm. you scowled and crawled on top of the bed and grabbed his wrists. your own hands barely able to wrap around his wrists.

“oh my god just go down would you?!”

“not when yer askin so rudely darlin!”

the nickname caught you off guard and he took advantage of this and pushed his weight down so you were flat on the bed and he had you pinned down.

you struggled under his hold and fidgeted underneath him. “let me go!” you demenaded several times much too atsumu’s amusement.

“nah don’t feel like it.” he watched your body tense up and try to escape his firm grip.

he looked down at your scowling face and a smirk tugged at his lips. atsumu had always thought you were pretty, or rather quite beautiful in fact. he had always had some sort of attraction towards you but disregarded it for a flimsy crush that he was sure would eventually fade. in fact, he was so sure it was going to fade he left it alone for 4 years insisting the feeling would leave on its own. he hadn’t realised that his harboured feelings had only grown and developed as time went on and more time was spent by your side.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer.” you hissed from beneath him feeling uncomfortable under his intense stare.

“why do i need a picture when i can keep ya here for as long as i want to?” he shot back as a fustrated huff left your lips.

“sorry i thought you didn’t like girls, i thought your opinion on girls is that they’re all ‘pigs’ and ‘annoying” you mocked. “so why keep one struggling under you or are you just trying to get on my nerves?”

“yer not just like the other girls though.” he replied as your struggling slowed down.

“oh wow miya atsumu sees me as something more than a girl! i’m so privileged he doesn’t hate me and think i’m a pig like every other one!” you mocked him once more as his grip loosened slightly.

“of course i don’t think yer like one of the pig girls! don’t be stupid ya know i love you, why would i treat ya like the other girls if i felt otherwise?”

finally, after over 4 years of letting his feelings brew inside of him, atsumu had just admitted out loud what he’d been meaning to say for quite some time now. he didn’t feel embarrassed nor did he regret what he said. he felt relieved if anything. a weight he didn’t even know he was carrying was lifted off his shoulders.

“a-atsumu? what?” your voice laced with disbelief as the setter finally let you go and flopped down on the bed next to you.

“i love you.” he stated again, words firm with assurance.

you were shocked to say the least. it wasn’t a bad shock no, but you were surprised that he’d admit to such a thing like love. the atsumu you knew didn’t like girls and thought of them as a nusence with the exception of you, but you always just assumed that was because you’d known him for so long.

“atsumu...”

“ya don’t have to say it back i just thought i should tell ya that’s all.” panic slowly leaked his system. he was glad he’d finally confessed but why we weren’t you saying anything back? maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut after all.

“i-its not that it’s just... you’re the last person i would’ve expected that from.” the two of you lay next to each other neither pairs of eyes daring to look anywhere but the ceiling.

“yeah? well what can i say? i just love surprising ya.”

“yeah no shit, you can’t just spring that on someone and not expect them to be shocked.” your hand instinctively inching towards his.

“yeah i know, just thought i might as well tell ya.” his voice soft spoken as his nerves began to calm.

the silence almost deafening as you pieced your next words together and atsumu laid in anticipation waiting for your polite rejection.

“well i might as well tell you too... i think i love you.”

his eyes widened as he shot himself up.

“you think?”

“i think.” you mused eyes closed refusing to fluster yourself by catching his eyes.

“i just... i’ve never been in love with anyone, my whole life has been you and samu, i’ve never felt what i think are romantic feelings for anyone else.”

“you feel romantic things for me and samu?” disbelief and confusion mixed within his tone.

“no stupid, i see samu as a brother figure and i thought i saw you as that too, that impression of you left maybe 3 years ago though and i saw you as something other than a brother.”

“what did ya see me as?” his quiet voice filling the room.

your eyes opened and you were met with atsumu’s gleaming ones. his eyes searching for the answers you were yet to voice.

“as someone i could fall in love with if that’s what fate had for us.”

“god y/n, ya didn’t have to keep me on edge the whole time!” he sighed in relief as his arm wrapped around your frame.

“sorry, it’s amusing seeing you suffer though, and it’s payback for the pillow to the face earlier.”

he leaned up and pressed a warm kiss to your forehead, another to your nose and a final one to your cheek.

“forgiven?”

“i think i could do with some more convincing...”

a wide smile spread across atsumu’s face. now he had all the time in the world to convince you to forgive him as well as experience so many new things with you as you both stepped hand in hand into the untouched territory of unexperienced feelings, but you were doing it together and atsumu would’ve had it no other way.

aislas 900 event

#miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu imagine #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#aislas 900 event #aislas imagines

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prisonhannibal · 4 years ago

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I don't want to say too much publicly because I still feel stupid/it still hurts but Re: your post about True Crime.

True Crime messed me up, I was held for questioning for 10+ hours and screamed at and they demanded a lie detector test. I didn't ask for an attorney or eat/drink while questioned because a) didn't want to seem guilty and b) the one thing on my mind was "oh my god they want my fingerprints and DNA and it's going to be all over the apartment including the kitchen knives and the guns" (my friend was killed and he was a hunter/skeet shooter and took me skeet shooting to get over my fear of gunshots)

True Crime taught me nothing good and I just cried and didn't submit to a lie detector because I kept thinking I'd fail it from how panicky I was. I was hyperventilating, the test would've seen me as a liar because my heart was a mile a minute and the photos they showed me just made me shut down. I was in denial and panicky not guilty!

They wasted so much time blaming another friend of his and myself that the true culprit was able to hide/burn evidence.

I honestly pray his case remains sealed forever because the thought of a bunch of True Crime fans secretly thinking I did it based on that 10+ hour session of emotional torture makes me sick.

Hi, I'm sorry for taking longer to get to this than I would like. I've been trying to think of a way to reply to this in the way it and you deserve. You shouldn't feel stupid for this, this is horrific and I can't imagine what you've been through or how painful and traumatic that is.

I don't know the laws where you are, but a lot of that seems like if it's legal it shouldn't be. It's definitely unethical. I'm so so sorry for your loss and I'm so so sorry that you weren't even allowed to grieve that loss properly before being put through that. I hope that the case remains sealed, and I hope your friend got the justice he and his loved ones deserve. It's nowhere near the same thing, but having been even near a case (I wasn't involved personally, and this case isn't public) kinda changes your perspective on stuff like that being public and used for entertainment tbh. Especially with how people don't treat the cases with respect and act like even being brought up in relation to the case mean they have free range to dig into peoples personal lives and publicly speculate on this shit.

Thank you for sharing, I wish for you to get the healing you need and deserve, and I don't know when this happened, but I hope you either are or have gotten help and support for your trauma and the loss. If not, I hope you'll be able to. I'll be thinking about you.

I don't know if this response is enough, tbh. what I wanna get across is just that you didn't deserve any of that and that it's fucked up and that I'm sorry you had to experience that.

please dont reblog this

#murder tw #police brutality tw #true crime tw

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mrskisaki · 4 years ago

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Hesso Honey! I hope you got some sleep recently! We worry about you, doll ❤️. May I please request some kid v ace HC w a mutual crush? Something where they both like the same person (who’s a BAMF) and are trying to shower them with hints (as birth of the two have emotional maturity to have a real conversation about this topic) ❤️ Thanks sweetie!!

Ngl I’m a bit slow at times so I was like “BAMF? Wtf is that☠️” it took me about 30 seconds to get it, I hate it here 😔

Everytime I tried to go back to sleep this morning, someone kept calling and texting my phone, it made me so mad I almost started crying fjsjka I really just be so tired sksjskjs

I GOT SIDETRACKED AT THE END

Kid v Ace with mutual crush

When Kid likes someone, he gets a bit rough and mean with them. When Ace likes someone, he gets all giddy and shy with them. These two are completely different when showing that they like you and since it’s different than how they treat everyone else, you catch on quickly and just don’t say anything.

Once the two men find out that the other likes you and is trying to win your affection, they take it as a challenge and steps up their game. Kid will try to be nicer but can’t help but say a few things rudely, he makes up for it with the things he makes you in his workshop and shoves in your hands when he sees you. Ace will flirt with you and do anything he can that will give him a chance to touch you like handing you paperwork so your fingertips and brush against each other.

Ace is the one who tells Kid that they need to stop and talk about what they’re going to do and how to do it like how they need to respect your decision on who you pick, when you pick them and that even though they both like you, there’s no need to kill each other over it. After a lot of back and forth arguing they finally reach an agreement to fight to the death to confront you directly and demand ask you for your decision.

If you choose Ace, Kid might rage and kill a lot few civilians and start a bar fight but he’ll get over it eventually after killer gets him up on his feet again. If you choose Kid, Ace will support you and tell Kid to take care of you. He’ll be extremely sad that you didn’t choose him but as long as your happy then he’s happy.

But if your ME and you choose BOTH, you get the best of both worlds. Two sexy hunks of men who will love you and defend you forever and always but will also be over protective and annoying. They most definitely will argue with each other a lot and you’ll have to be the mediator everytime. When all three of you argue, it’s complete hell and doesn’t end well. Ace will be the first one to apologize and try to make it better, Kid will be stubborn and almost start another argument.

But all in all, imagine the good

Dick you would get from the both of them. Kids big rough dick and Aces long passionate dick, that shit would be a blessing. Double penetration would happen quite frequently along with overstimulation. They both are down with whatever kinks you want to do, Ace won't get too rough with you but Kid will choke slam you against the bed with no hesitation if that's what you want. Ace will give you that loving passionate fuck that will have you wanting to get married. Both of them together will get extremely pleasureful and have you seeing stars, by the time they're finished with you, you'll be throughly fucked and literally unable to move. You most definitely will become pregnant fucking with these two because they act like they dont know what protection is. So please, watch yourself. The dicks is good but lmfskkaka.

#one piece imagine #one piece reader insert #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece oneshot #one piece scenarios #one piece headcanons #kid x reader #eustass kid x reader #eustasscaptainkid #kid headcanons #eustass headcanons #ace one piece x reader #portgas d ace #portgas d. ace headcanons #ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #ace headcanons

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datk-popblog · 4 years ago

Text

Imagine...

NCT Dream as Your Boyfriend

(not a request! I thought I’d do a little write write for you guys haha❤️)

Renjun:

He’s such a loving boyfriend. Like he’d do anything to show his affection for/towards you.

Whenever he’s super busy with comebacks or just work in general; he’ll ALWAYS make up for it.

Like for example. If he missed 5 days to spend time with you, he would spend 5 days on little dates with you. It’s the little things he does.

The boys always mention how much he talks about you and omg he gushes everytime.

“What can I say? I’m obsessed with her!”

Cute little nicknames for you like “lovely,” “Buggy bear,” “Honey bee,” and “Doll face”

He likes to make you dinner a lot. Like a lot a lot.

“This is the fourth time you’ve made me dinner in the same week, babe.” “I can’t let my wifey starve!”

He was the type to get your relationship very open to the members but very secret in public.

Renjun always wants to protect you from the hateful critics and what they have to say about your guy’s relationship.

When it came to meeting each other’s parents; man oh man he was a wreck.

“Are they gonna like me? Especially your dad! I have to look very clean and nicely dressed. I can’t look like a jerk!”

He wouldn’t shut up about how nervous he was gonna be the entire ride. It got so bad it started making you overwhelmed and nervous😭

On his days off, he literally took you anywhere you wanted to go.

The spa? He’d get a mani pedi to pamper himself too because he’s a supportive boyfriend so why tf not.

Even dates to the amusement park? Like one day he’d be like “it’s my day off, so, let’s go to the park.”

Even dates to South Korea’s fanciest restaurants like omg.

THIS BOY LOVES TF OUT OF YOU ITS BEYOND.

When it’s sexy time, he knows what you like and how you like it delivered.

One day he found out you can squirt and he’s literally been making you squirt over and over ever since.

Yeah, Renjun looks very innocent on the outside with a dash of glitter to him; but when you two are alone he MANHANDLES the fuck out of you.

Sometimes he doesn’t mean to hurt you. He just is really rough and it comes off super duper aggressive.

After sexy time, he ALWAYS ALWAYS makes sure to nut in your mouth. Whatever position you guys are in, he’ll turn you around or stand you up.

He just loves watching his liquids drip from your lips. He gets off looking at it.

After sex, he’d cuddle you so so hard. Like he’d fuck the hell out of you, but wants to be little spoon? Like dude wtf

“I love you soooo much my lovely.”

Ugh omg just hold this boy and cherish him

Jeno:

He’s such a tease boyfriend and it SHOWS.

He likes to brag about how hot you two look together (and y’all do look hot PAUSE)

“That’s my baby. Her fine self!”

He enjoys bringing you to his practices. He knows you like to watch him dance

Sometimes you’ll be there at the studio for hours and you’ll get super tired.

“I’m sorry I’m taking long baby girl. We’ll be home together soon.” He’d tell you then go back to practicing

The one special thing about Jeno is that he’s soooo reassuring. From little compliments to accomplishments.

He loves to praise you for how much you’ve done and how good you take care of him

“I love you so much. You’ve done everything for me.”

Like if you passed a test or something from school, he’d take you on a date.

Even if you didn’t pass the test he’d still treat you because he loves you so much!

Jeno likes to leave little love notes around your guy’s room. It’s like a scavenger hunt. You’ll find them behind the tv, under your pillow and bed, in your shirt drawer. Literally everywhere.

When it came to announcing your relationship to the world, he wasn’t afraid. He did NOT care at all. Regardless of what the company said. SM told him to wait at least one year and he did it after 6 months.

“I know you’re meant to be my forever. I can feel it in my heart, babe. I know you are.”

When it came to sex, he was super super sweet and slow. He loved taking his time with you. He wasn’t dominant but was when it was the right time.

Lovesssssssss to suck your toes.(IK ITS WEIRD BUT HE LOVES IT!!!!) He loves tf out of your feet???

For your guy’s first time, Jeno put roses on the bed and serenaded you with a guitar and literally had you meLTINGGG.

“I love you so much. Whenever you’re ready; I’m ready.”

He liked for you to be dominant sometimes but would never force you. He never forces you into doing stuff you never wanna do; especially during sex (or in general)

After sexy time, it was shower time together.

You both just hugged one another in the shower and let the water run over you both. And during all this, his thick arms just embraced your frame.

When you were in his arms you felt loved and at home.

“You know I love you right?” “You tell me all the time, Jeno. I’m aware.” “I just love saying it.”

(Jeno is my bias so this made me feel so lonely writing his section. I hate it here😭)

Haechan:

Haechan is known as the sassy one but in the relationship that’s literally how he is. It’s the Gemini in him.

Don’t be surprised if sometimes he has an attitude. He just had a bad day at work.

“I don’t mean to yell or snap at you. You know I love you, baby.” And he’d hold you so so tight

You guys wouldn’t ever argue sometimes but if you did you both would ignore each other.

Then the other mates would have to fix the issue with you both.

“If you guys don’t stop with the petty shit!” -Renjun

Haechan LOVES your kisses.

If you didn’t kiss him in a certain amount of time he’d fake cry and stomp his feet.

“Jagi~~!! I need your kis-“ “omg there. Be quiet”

When he was gone for work (for literal months) it was so hard for you guys to maintain a good long distance relationship.

You guys would FaceTime all the time but it was never the same because you wanted him in person.

“I don’t know the next time I’m able to see your face. I miss you a lot though, baby girl.”

You would see Haechan all the time and how good he was doing on the web but omg YOU MISSED YOUR BABY

Occasionally he’d come back home and stay with you for as long as he needed to.

“You should travel with me and sing with the group. A female touch would be awesome.” “Haechan, I love you, but I’m not singing with 127.”

Soon enough he convinced SM to bring you wherever he went so now you’re with the boys. All. The. Time.

“You’re my new assistant, Y/N. I demand a bottle of water.” “Kiss my ass, Haechan”

SEXY time with Haechan ooooooo chile

He likes to lift you up and hold you against the wall and kiss your neck.

Or even doggy style. Haechan just loves the view from the back.

Whenever he hits it from the back, he digs his fingers right at the bottom of your back. Or even grabs your shoulders to go in deeper.

You only know when he’s close when his body starts slowing down and you feel his body jerk.

“I wanna nut in you so badly, Y/N!” “Well don’t do that.”

Eventually he nutted in you and you had to take a plan B. So that’s that

“I told you not to do that to me, babe.” “I couldn’t just hold it back. It came out.”

After 10 months of dating, he bought you a promise ring. Seems quick but he KNEW it was meant to be. He’s not letting you go; no matter what.

“Soon, I’m gonna turn that ring into an engagement ring.” Haechan smiles

Jaemin:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone more affectionate than Na Jaemin

He’s such a loving boyfriend like super loving

Before you would go to work, he would pack your lunch and make sure to add little hearts and notes in your lunch-bag

His little notes would say something like: “I love you so much my honey bear,” “Have an amazing day at work. DONT overwork yourself.”

LITERALLY SO AFFECTIONATE

If you went somewhere without him, he would be a little offended but would end his disagreement w/ a “text me when you get there. I love you.”

and holy fuck if you did NOT text him, he’d lose his mind

you guys have each other’s locations

THATS WHEN YOU KNOW ITS REAL AND LEGIT

when Jisung was around, it was literally a competition for whoever gets Jaemin first.

Jaemin would occasionally pick Jisung over you. He’s fake and it shows

“where’s all the love and attention I need?” You call out.

“Baby, you have to wait your turn.” -Jaemin

when you guys argued, he would literally feel so guilty. especially if you had reasons to be pissed off.

like you would have receipts and he’d just cry. not to play victim, but because he wouldn’t ever want to hurt you emotionally, or physically.

“I’m really sorry...I promise I won’t do it again.”

he made it up by kissing you endlessly.

sexy time with Jaemin was everything you desired it to be

little comments in-between sex like: “i love you princess,” or “do i make you feel good?”

UGH WE LOVE TO SEE IT

okay but Jaemin is more of the submissive type. he rarely gets dominant with you.

“i’m tired of riding you jaemin. my legs hurt.” “don’t worry, babe. lay down.”

like he KNOWS how to put it down

like he knows what he be doing too like wtf man

Jaemin makes dinner practically every night. this man is never not cooking.

“do you want pork or soup tonight?” “how about pork IN the soup?” “Y/N, I love your thinking.”

HE EVEN MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN ON YOUR LAP SO YOU DON’T SPILL ANYTHING HOT ON YOURSELF

Jaemin as your boyfriend>>>>>>anything else

Chenle:

HE IS SOOOO LOVING!!!!!!!

Chenle likes to wake you up with breakfast in bed

even though sometimes he can burn the food or miss an ingredient

“how does it taste, baby girl?” you smiled and kissed him

“I LOVE IT!”

Chenle was very very giving

he would always buy you something (RICH CHENLE CHECK)

little trips to the mall, coffee shops, jewelry stores

“babe do you want this?” “Chenle, I don’t need-” “Grab it. I’ll get it for you”

he brags to the dreamies about you ALLLLLL THEEEEEE TIMEEEEE

“you see Y/N as my lock-screen? isn’t she so frickn beautiful!”

“Chenle, you’ve mentioned Y/N about a hundred times” -Haechan

“And I don’t regret it.”

if you guys are far away from each other he’ll always ft you. there’s never not one day he’s not talking to you

“holy shit. I miss you so much. I’m going insane!” “Chenle, it’s just three more weeks.” “I can’t even go 3 minutes without thinking about you.”

since you guys have a studio apartment together in South Korea, he does surprise pop up visits

he’ll literally be sitting on the couch and scare the shit out of you

“Chenle, you didn’t tell me when you were gonna be home!” “I thought I’d surprise you when you come home from work.”

When he came home, you guys made love. Like he was holding it in for YEARS!!!

Chenle is rough af when the times right. Like especially when he hasn’t seen you in so long.

“Tell me when to slow down. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He whispers in your ear

He likes to kiss your neck and leave hickies when he’s on top. HE ENJOYS LEAVING MARKS ON YOU

He’s very demanding

“Tell me you love me. Tell me, Y/N. Say it, baby.”

Sometimes he gets tired and makes you ride him. And when you slow down, he grabs the fUCK OUT OF YOUR HIPS

“Chenle, I cant go any faster. My thighs hurt.” “Here let me help you.” AND BOOM. HES ON BEAST MODE

As soon as you guys finish, he cuddles you so hard and rubs your booty. He doesn’t care to put boxers on after sex because he’s just so comfortable

“That was so amazing. When’s the last time we’ve done something that well together?” “Chenle, I don’t know. You’ve been gone for 3 months.”

“Yeah but how’d you get so well.” “Chenle what?!”😭😭

If you guys rest long enough; he goes for round two. There’s nothing holding this kid back. HE WILL FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BC HE MISSED YOU

If you guys ever have small arguments it would literally be for five minutes and boom. You guys are best friends????

he hates arguing with you because he feels it’s a “waste of time” and it “emotionally hurts the relationship”

which he’s not wrong because who would want their relationship ruined on stupid arguments

“Y/N quit ignoring me and make out with me.”

This KIDS ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR YOU

he’s just never around you anymore so it’s just a bunch of orgasms built up

Chenle is awesome in all the right ways. This kid is the best boyfriend.

Jisung:

I’m pretty sure Jisung has told you and other people hundreds of times he’s gonna marry you.

“you have no idea how much I fucking I adore you, Y/N.”

yeah he’s the baby of the group, but you’re HIS baby.

“Jagi! You have to eat something! I’m not letting you go anywhere til you eat!”

he’s very very caring. sometimes he doesn’t show it in a talking way, but through his actions; it speaks so much louder.

Jisung can be a little awkward sometimes. especially around the members.

If you were to kiss him when the dreamers were there, he would get super red and would be on hush mode.

“Jagiiiii~ You aren’t supposed to do that. You know how I feel.” “But you and I both know how much you love it.” You smiled

when he first met your family, he was very scared. I mean like sweating through his dress shirt scared.

“Jisung, baby. they’re gonna like you a lot, okay? Don’t be so nervous.” “Yeah, but what if they ask me a question and I don’t respond? Imagine if your dad asks me what my intentions are with you? What the fuck am I gonna say?”

DONT WORRY. HE KNOWS WHAT TO SAY HES JUST SCARED AF I-

he literally shakes when he meets your mom but not your dad???

after he met the fam, they loved him a lot

Jisung is the sweetest person how can anyone NOT love him. like cmon

when you guys came out to the public, he took you E V E R Y W H E R E

and i mean everywhere

You were his date to music awards, debut stages, game/talk shows, etc.

Jisung loved bringing you everywhere with him. He says it makes him feel safe and at home every time he’s with you

(i wish someone felt that way about me. ima cry)

(this next part im NOT getting into detail. ik how lots of you feel about baby Jisung therefore it’ll be not so r-rated)

love making with Jisung is the softest thing ever.

before he does ANYTHING to your body, he ALWAYS makes sure you’re okay with it.

“Baby, you know I’ll always put your feelings first. I love you.”

He wasn’t rough(unless you asked or begged) he was always gentle

whenever he was on top, he liked to bury his face into your neck and give you neck kisses and soft nip at your ear

whenever you rode him, he’d just grab your hips and does the work for you. he knows how tiring it can be for your thighs so he goes all out by helping

his soft mOANS ARE TO DIE FOR. like literally he lets loose when it’s private time

moral of the story; find yourself a Jisung bc you won’t regret it.

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It’s been WAY too long since I posted. I’ve been working full-time at my job now and saving up for a car ! Im super excited for myself guys omgggg. I missed you guys so so much

xoxo Jay

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shattered-catalyst · 4 years ago

Text

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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