#i dont understand how its not the same for all of you

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

So... I see this a decade after i decided to simply... Stop instigating conversations because i felt like im simply burdening others with my presence and that they actually felt annoyed having to hear from me and wished i wouldnt send messages.

The thing is that none of them ever approached me afterwards. When we saw each other after a while we would be ecstatic but there was a wall between us already and i dont know if its simply life going on and us being very different than back then, or that they truly didnt see me the same as i saw them (as my besties).

One time i met one of them (this one specifically was my best friend from first grade until twelve basically) on the street and i see that she's married and walking with her husband. Turns out the wedding was that sunday and i wasnt even notified of it happening or of the engagement. I wasnt mad about not being invited, but i was hurt for not even being notified! She then turned to her husband and said that im a friend of her from high school.

Its been a decade from high school so i can see why she said that, but that hurt me so badly that the moment i waved them goodbye and they disappeared around a corner, i collapsed and just sobbed. I was so heartbroken. It seemed that i was the only one who still thought of her as my old school's bestie or had thought of including her in any future milestones simply because she was so important to me.

So i dont know how i feel about this post. I understand where you guys are coming from and its in good intentions, but the main issue is that many kids who become the sole instigators were never shown that they can be vulnerable in front of their friends about this matter. It felt like its your duty and how you contribute to the group. And when it became harder and harder, the friends never questioned why you pulled away or asked for your wellbeing. It turned into a situation when you feel more like a nuisance than a leader.

Fortunately, i have now friends who instigate so much more than me and i keep telling them how i appreciate it and apologise for how terrible i am at texting back and that its never because i dont want them to text me. Its simply because texting or answering messages had become so hard for me and so mentally taxing i sometimes shut down when i see messages i need to reply to.

So rambling aside, as much as i appreciate your sentiment, i think a different approach would be helpful.

My approach (which is not better or worse, just a different approach) is to get comfortable with a 'friends for one day' reality. I go so many times to so many places and meet so many amazing people, we always say we'll contact one another and keep in touch and then never contact one another again, and that's alright.

You have to be comfortable with being friends without focusing on the 'keeping the friendship going' let people come and go. Those who truly want to stick around will stick around, and they usually have a much deeper connection with you that isnt dependant on who instigates the conversations.

My friends are those that mostly text in memes and reels since we dont see each other often. And i do the same in return. Its easier and relays so much more. We have proper conversations here and there, but our actual interactions happen physically. And they instigate meetups much more than i do and i always make sure that they know that i appreciate it. One of my friends and i also have some differences in opinions, so we have some long discussions.

I also have a friend who i dont text to at all but invites me to shabbat meals once in a while and i come over and its like no time had passed. I invite her back for bbq or shabbat as well, but thats also once in a blue moon.

Another friend is across the ocean so its mostly photos and small comments and talks about our lives and since the war began, she keeps checking if im alive and well.

Another friend is also across the ocean and we mostly speak about our realities of being jews or squeal over her precious daughter or make plans for when she finally comes to Israel.

So my friends arent part of one group but many branches of different aspects of my life. I would say i have around seven/eight of them that arent my current co workers (work friendship is also temporary and i accept that fully and enjoy our time together) and im truly blessed because i had let go of the desperate need to keep my friends together.

So please dont call us a bitch for not willing to talk about it. And we're certainly not mini community leaders, we're just people who are friends with those that never cared about reaching out first or affirming our friendship in any kind of way. Its not fair to put the expectations of reaching out onto the one who constantly did that. Friends who truly want to keep up a friendship will attempt to do so when they see that the other side isnt as present as previously.

Sorry im all over the place, im on my phone and its harder to articulate on it

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[mythalism]

the timing of someone apparently shitting on me for being a veilguard hater on some remote corner of tumblr is so funny because i was actually just in the shower like an hour before listening to the atonement ending suite and thinking about the things that i love about veilguard after almost 2 months of marinating on it, so apologies for destroying my reputation as a certified HATER!!!!!!! but i actually wanted to share these earlier so im still going to. i think its interesting especially because ive seen a lot of people that hate these same things about the game, but my opinion has stayed the same. its also interesting because OVERALL the more i think about veilguard the more i dislike it, but for these certain aspects, the more i think about them the more i love them.

THAT FUCKING SONG!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! even two months later i get choked up listening to it. and guys....... i dont listen to lost elf anymore. like i just dont even think of it. thats not to say trevor morris isnt the greatest of all time, and the atonement ending song relies heavily on lost elf. i know. but my favorite parts of the atonement song are not even lost elf!!! overall i missed trevor deeply, i did not like the veilguard soundtrack. i even turned the music volume to 0 at some points because it felt like nails on a chalkboard to me (ghilannain fight music made me want to d*e). HOWEVER. this is supposed to be positive. and if you ask me to choose lost elf vs atonement theme... im choosing atonement theme. every time. the way it adds to lost elf is wonderful. it gives me chills. it is so haunting. i will never tire of it. I LOVE THIS FUCKING SOOOOOONG. i also love the dread wolf song. so honorable mention to that one.

i love the solavellan ending. i know people hate it but nothing i have seen has convinced me to abandon my love for it. it is the best ending we could have possibly gotten in a game where the veil stayed up. and yes obviously i think the veil should have come down. but my IDEAL ending would have been veil down, rook takes over the mantle of dread wolf, solas and lavellan give up their mortal bodies and become spirits together and ascend to the fade. and honestly thats pretty much what happens, just without the veil. i love the mythological fairy tale vibe. i love the bittersweetness. i love that it is both tragic and hopeful. i love that it is vague enough to leave the future open. i love that the devs refuse to confirm where exactly in the fade they are. i love the sigyn loki eros psyche parallels. i love the maker and andraste parallels. could it have been built up to better? absolutely. but thats an issue with the build up, not the ending. i thought solas was going to die and we were going to watch the light go out of his eyes as lavellan held him and sobbed. it is so much more hopeful than i expected. i love that we get to redeem him through the power of love. i love that lavellan forgives him. i love that they survive. I LOVE IT!!!! and i love it the more i think about it. ive tried to hate it because i understand the perspective of people who didnt like it, but i literally cannot make myself dislike it.

i love the solavellan ending scene itself. i love how inky creeps in through the door. dont ask how she got up there its fine. i love how she sneaks up on him. i love that she comes up those stairs and it parallels the prologue scene with varric. i love that she has a zinger ready for him. "even if those you have wronged asked you to stop?" oh its so fucking good. i love his pathetic defeated "vhenan". i love that he rejects her again. i love that he apologizes but stays true to his goals. i love that it takes something beyond lavellan and the modern world to finally crack him. i love the way he looks at mythal like a kicked puppy. i love the way he cannot meet her eyes. i love the way he crumples and sobs and we see a completely different side of him that I NEVER FUCKING EXPECTED TO SEE IN A MILLION YEARS???? i love mythal's coldness and frankness as she releases him. i love that she doesn't apologize. i love how fucked up and messy it is. i love how it speaks to their entire relationship being fucked up and messy. i love that it has given me so much to chew on about what the fuck was going on with them. i love the way lavellan kneels so she can see his face. i love that she speaks in elvhen (even if the translation leaves something to be desired). i love that its all in the hallelujah cadence. i love that he assumes she wont come with him. i love that she has to chase after him one more time. i love his fucking tear mesh. i love his face when he looks at her. i love that their scene is wedding coded. i dont love the kiss but im trying to be positive and its tiny in the grand scheme. i love her hand on his shoulder as they step into the fade. i have a few complaints about the scene but none of them are enough to cheapen my enjoyment of it.

i fucking love fragment mythal. obviously. but seriously. i love the scene where you get her approval its one of my favorites in the entire game. i love that its hard to get her approval. i love that she fucking kills you if you piss her off. i love her lines. "after he killed the swamp witch. AND WEPT." BITCH!!!! and "you are a thousand years from knowing the correct words" or whatever. I LOVE HER. i love how fucking nasty she is. i love how she has clearly been stewing in resentment for thousands of years. i love that she is rude and proud and haughty. i love that she'd be looking down her nose at you if she wasn't like 5 ft tall. i love the way she falls backwards off the ledge with her arms out and closes her eyes to transform into a fucking dragon. i love her condescension. i love the decapitated wolf statues in the background. i love the note from felassan that reveals solas made her an entire island for herself. i love that she reveals that he put her there. i love that he could not bring himself to visit her even once. ohhhhh my god it makes me dizzy. talking to her was a moment where the game felt like dragon age to me.

i love my lavellan in this game. did i want WAY more of her? yeah. and i expected more. but every moment we got i loved. the first scene with her is mostly whatever its appropriately formal for her meeting a stranger. but the way she stutters when talking about solas? when asking rook to give him a chance by using the wolf statue to learn more about him? the way she looks down and to the side as she says it? banger. masterpiece. the act 3 conversation makes me have to lay down. i can barely even talk about it without foaming at the mouth. i love her characterization. i love that she orders rook to tell her something like she has gotten used to the power of her title as inquisitor. i love her subtle desperation to have her hope for him validated cloaked under her inquisitor mask. i love how it begins to crack as the conversation goes on and she gets lost in the memories of him. i love her sincerity. i love the way she speaks bluntly and unapologetically of her love. i love her facial expressions and her furrowed brow. i love how confident and self assured she is. "or maybe im the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that i do not have to face my folly; that i loved someone who made such terrible mistakes. that i might love him still" IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE GAME. perhaps. PERHAPS. in all of dragon age. yes im serious. its that insane to me. it feels like shakespeare wrote it. im only half kidding. i was rolling on the floor of my bedroom when i heard it. it still gives me chills. i love that her lines are in the hallelujah cadence. i love the way she talks about their relationship. i love how she is angry and indignant about his lies to her but that does not infringe upon her love. i love when she says "how could i have fallen in love with a god and not known? why didnt he tell me?' i love how sure she is that she knows the true solas. i love every word out of her mouth. i love all of it. that is my favorite scene in the game. i love when she shows up with dorian in the end. i love "is there any chance, any chance at all that he'd listen to reason?" i love her face when she says it. i love "speaking from the heart, inquisitor?" i love when dorian asks if shes heading out afterwards and she says "something like that" BE SOOOO FRRRR. SHE WAS FUCKING SCHEMING. there was not a moment that she was on screen that i did not love.

overall, i am happy with solas in this game. this one is last because its the weakest because i do criticisms but overall, i think it was fine LOL. my biggest worry was that they were going to completely woobify him and make him above reproach and erase the negative sides of him in favor of making him MORE sympathetic to new players. the fact that we got the opposite is crazy, but i vastly prefer it. id rather have him be too villainous than robbed of his complexity to be more palatable. that would have fully ruined the game for me. so the fact that we got to see him being an absolute prick little shit who betrayed us TWICE was wonderful. i loved being betrayed. i love the scene where he puts rook in the regret prison. i LOVE how he appears behind rooks shoulder in flashes and the player can see him but rook cant. i love how he circles rook like prey. i love how he does that cunty little thing with his hand over the dagger. i love that he taunts rook. i love that he doesnt actually take the dagger from them and instead waits for it to fall into his hand. its so immortal trickster god. i love that fucking scene. i love the "by my hand" line and how he looks you in the face as he manipulates his words so expertly. i love his banters with the companions. i looooooooved listening to him beef with elgar'nan. it felt so HIM. i was like YES!!!! THIS IS THE DREAD WOLF I WANTED TO MEET!!!! i was screaming during that quest. anyway. i wanted more of him. yeah. i dont really care that much that the companions and general story is weirdly unsympathetic to him. because it obviously didnt work!!! LMFAOOO 72% people still decided to redeem him so whatever! hes still pookie. im just so glad they didnt make him boring and lame. all my issues along this vein revolve more around the veil than solas, so i consider it a separate issue. i loved seeing mean nasty cunty trickster god.

ok in retrospect this list isnt that long KJHREGKJERG. however all of these things are very important to me so the fact that i love them is essential. like i truly got what i needed out of this game. i criticize it a lot but i would have done that even if the game was a 9/10 for me. i do it to literally everything i love. except fmab because its above reproach. but literally everything else. i was writing essays criticizing the percy jackson books on tumblr when i was 15. i have been criticizing dragon age online for 5+ years. veilguard aint special in catching my heat. critical analysis is in my soul. anyway i wanted banger solavellan ending that i could chew on for years and i got it. thats all i needed! ok now going to go listen to atonement ending suite again and transcend into the astral plane

[prettyboykatsuki]

u don’t have to answer but how do u long for someone u loved so much at 14 while also being deeply committed to your partner. no judgement in pbk land i am just a lil drunk and trying to understand

i will try my best to explain this but being very frank (and not at all in a negative way!!) i think we are probably just two fundamentally different people with two vastly different concepts of what constitutes love and longing

the short answer is simply bc they are different people. my love for this person (ill call them j) and my partner are separate things. because they are just separate humans and separate experiences. the things i love about them sometimes overlap but they are both my people in different ways. i would never compare them.

its all very messy but all three of us are close also. like this person is my partners best friend and the whole arrangement is kind of complicated and idk how much i wanna air my business out kfjfshdkj. tldr is that me and j love each other very deeply in a way that is not romantic nor quite platonic and they are someone that will always be in my life. we did try romance sort of but they are aro and i dont think that feeling is what i feel for them anyway. its different to what my partner makes me feel.

so the sense of love and longing is not the exact same though it's probably closer to 'romance' then what we view typically as friendship. like i hold them in my lap and other gay shit lol

im the kind of queer that is very free love about these kinds of things. my partner has a qpr who i dont know and everything too

my partner is my life partner and the person i feel closest to in my life. it is romantic of course but its also more than that. i talk to him about everything and trust in him to communicate and vice versa. if im jealous or lonely or scared - i tell him and we work it out and he does the same for me and we check in on each other all the time. he comes first and he always will.

but my love and affection for someone else does not dim my love for him. love isnt a scarce resource i have to preserve but something i give of my own will. its not a threat because there's nothing to threaten. no love will replace him because it's not like anyone can be him any way.

when your love for someone transcends the role they fill in your life, a lot of doors open about who and how you love i think. i fall in love and experience affection for people as they are if i had to put it to words. not because of what they can do or a desire for connection but because the experience of them, specifically, moves me. i cant really speak for other people but for me its like that.

im not someone who really personally subscribes to monogamy and i never really have. my partner and i have had a more open relationship for all of it pretty much with some years and my trust in him has only deepened over time and through several wounds.

i long and crave and miss people because they are who they are. no person is replaceable ykwim. so the absence of someone cant be filled by someone else and it also cant be changed by another person. my partner is my life partner and the man i want to marry someday.

but j is my j. i love them because they have silly idiosyncrasies. theyre a talented artist and skittish with affection and sensitive. and i love them so deeply it makes me sick. i love how much they try for me.

and i love my partner just as much. we'll spend new years together, all three of us (and j's whole family dsjfjsld) - but im seeing them both separately and im sure they'll see each other separately too

so its like these things are not contradictory to me in anyway. they're not feelings in conflict with one another inside of me at all. its complicated but relationships are always that way

i hope that made a little sense!! its kind of hard to explain without extra context!!

[devilith]

idk dawg if you think that mammon "doesnt feel cared for" then you probably just dont understand the themes of the game or dont ever pay attention to literally anything that the characters do or say ever

because "the brothers fight a lot but despite bickering they love each other more than anything and would protect their family at all costs" is literally the core theme of the entire obey me franchise

they kind of rub it directly in your face that the brothers all love each other. yeah, including mammon. lucifer CONSTANTLY bails mammon out whenever hes in trouble. mammon never faces any consequences for the objectively horrible shit he does to other people because his brothers ALWAYS forgive him. and no, the "tied up on the ceiling" thing doesnt count because it is painfully obvious that its supposed to be a joke (you know, exaggerated physical humor thats so popular in japanese media) and is never played seriously. plus mammon is literally a masochist and they have explicitly said in the game that he enjoys punishments. oh also they have said multiple times in both games that mammon is literally lucifers favorite brother

levi is constantly lending mammon money even though he KNOWS mammon will never pay it back. theres like a billion chats where levi and mammon are talking about watching the same series or playing the same games together. satan has literally gotten mammon jobs before because mammon needed money. asmo goes partying with mammon all the time and compliments mammons fashion and magazine photoshoots and praises mammon a lot. beel looks up to mammon and relies on him as an older brother. like they literally could not make it any more obvious that all the brothers love each other

if the only reason you think that the brothers treat mammon "badly" is because they call him stupid or dumb (when he does objectively stupid things, btw) then sorry but you either dont have siblings yourself or you have such an insanely skewed view of what it means to be treated badly. singlings bicker and argue, thats normal for every family ever. and these are DEMONS. demons who canonically kill other demons for fun (yeah the brothers literally do that) so no actually, calling each other names is not cruel or abusive or whatever

also he literally CAN "physically help himself" and control himself, he just actively chooses not to. this is LITERALLY CANON and you see it in the games dozens of times. i am begging the obey me fandom to learn how to fucking read, my god

If you think about it, the twins are the ones who suffer the most with their sins. The other brothers know how to control their sins well, especially Satan, he can keep his wrath at bay, or calm himself: because they can control their emotions, since their sins are mostly related/correlated to one or to a feeling, not to a physical need, like the twins. Beel is hungry all the time, and Belphie is tired most of it. It’s not like Beel can supress his hunger, he can try, but it wouldn’t work. He will eventually have to eat; same thing happens with Belphie, he can’t help but feel sleepy, and the only solution to it is to sleep. For example, Mammon isn’t greedy all the time, his sin is “activated” when something triggers it - opportunity makes the thief - but we cannot say the same for the twins. Thoughts? :c

[permanentbottombunk]

It feels weird knowing not everyone was a horse girl as a kid

Just like, what do you mean you didn't become fully obsessed with a random animal and learn every possible thing you could think of about it? You didn't watch the Blu-ray of Spirit: Stallion of Cimmaron until your Xbox 360 gave it a ring of death? That's not something everyone did?

[oceanwithouthermoon]

saikis powers are a vital part of him so it makes sense that people who dont know about them cant truly understand his whole self, but its also very silly to me when people act like its the ONLY important part of him... people act like his friends that arent in the know are completely blind to who saiki is, but i feel like that kinda means you missed some major points... he cant keep his powers a secret forever and it DOES matter, but he can still be loved and KNOWN without knowing about them... hes still human, he still has a personality, he still has regular likes and dislikes, etcetc

his friends perspectives on him may have been wrong at first, but they CHANGED... they know him and love him, and theyll KEEP loving him the SAME once they know of his powers...

​some people cough cough cough in this fandom like to reduce saiki to JUST his powers and its so obvious that you just. missed everything. you didnt absorb anything from the show, you just saw it and went "ha, everyone thinks hes just a guy when hes actually super cool and powerful" no no no, he IS cool and powerful but look a little closer and at his core he is still LITERALLY JUST A GUY 😭😭😭

hes such a guy.....

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 71: shy

[lokh]

also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.

[mohntilyet]

Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating

NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around

[autisticlancemcclain]

Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me

i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

friend notoriously bad at videogames said shed play marvel rivals with me tomorrow chat if i never post after tomorrow night its because a blood vessel bursted

[ratatatastic]

"Local kid makes good. Matthew Tkachuk, Stanley Cup Champion. So how does that sound? Stanley Cup Champion?" "I think it sounds better and better each time I'm hearin' it. It's been—I think—almost 2 months, I don't even know? Time has been flyin' but it just—each day is more and more incredible thinkin' about it." "So you're here to throw out the first pitch with Jayson Tatum, you're both Chaminade proud, like, you knew each other back then, you were friends in high school, and you're still friends—tell me about that relationship." "Yeah, it's been really incredible watching him—I think we both started out in the league very similar years. I might've been a year before when he was at College but it's been absolutely incredible to follow along his journey, and his career. I still keep in touch every now and then. I know we've played Boston the last few playoffs and he's been to a few of the playoff games for me. I went to one of his playoff games last year when we were in Boston. So really, really cool just to watch him, it was really cool to see him play in person. I'm excited to see him, and throw out that pitch with him today."

los angeles dodgers @ st louis cardinals pregame | 8.18.24 (x)

"When you guys were younger—both obviously stand-out athletes—did you ever imagine you would be a Stanley Cup Champion one day? And he would win a NBA Championship with the Celtics? Did that ever cross your minds?" "No, I mean, he was way better at his sport than I was at my sport when we were that young... I think I had a pretty good idea that he was gonna be a star basketball player. I guess you don't really think about Championships at that time of your life. You always dream about it but do you really think its gonna happen? And for us to do it, you know, within a week or however long apart from each other, it just—what a great time for all of our friends and family, and people that are just supporting us in St. Louis. I feel like St. Louis with not having teams to—you know, in their city to root for, I feel like they really kind-of hopped on and rooted for us and the Celtics. That made us, especially being from here, made us feel really special." "City was behind ya, one hundred percent! Let's talk about the final. You guys were up three-zip, it goes to a Game 7. What's that like?" "It's not supposed to be easy! I feel like it wouldn't have made sense or worked if it, you know—wasn't that scenario. It was always gonna be a long series. For us to win the first 3 and then lose the next 3—I mean, that wasn't ideal but at the end of the day we were comin' back to our incredible fans in Florida for a Game 7 Stanley Cup Final. What an incredible environment! That is a dream game! You always talk about the Game 7s when you're younger, and those are the moments you dream of, and I got to live out a dream this year." "What was it like sharing it with your pop? You know in the postgame coverage, I see your dad all over the place, your brother, your sister, your mom—what was it like sharing it with them?" "It was amazin'! Just handin' the Cup to my dad on the ice afterwards was super special there—the moment where he was actually in the locker room after the game when, you know, friends and family were startin' to come down, and I got to hand it to him, we got to beer-shower him, he got to lift it up in front of all my teammates, they were all goin' nuts for him too! Because they know that he played such a long time, and unfortunately wasn't able to win one in his playing career but I think he would've, you know, traded that all and done it exactly the way it happened for one of his boys to win it. It was such a family—It was such an incredible time for our whole family and I'm so lucky to have such great support from them." "Fun to watch too! Last thing before we let you go. You look good in the Cardinals red, Cardinals cap—there was a time where your dad, Big Walt, liked the Red Sox... please tell me you're a Cardinal fan..." "I am a Cardinal fan! Yeah, that time is—I was a big David Ortiz fan so when he was on the team like he was...him and Albert [Pujols] were my two favourites so it's actually pretty cool I got to hang out with Albert over summer in a golf tournament—the ACC tournament out in Lake Tahoe. He was one of my sports heroes! Yeah, I've been a Cardinals fan ever since I can remember with Albert." "Congratulations on getting the Cup, thanks for the chat!" "Yep, thank you!"

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[fascinationstreetmp3]

putting this all under a readmore and not tagging i just wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere .. talking about marius and his fans & tw for mentioning csa / sa

personally. i understand that the marius/armand relationship has been a popular part of the book series for decades and it's fictional and yes i get it. but. i dont understand those fans who encounter people who find it purely horrifying or upsetting and then get mad at them for it. just because of how it's framed in the books as a beautiful gothic love story (filtered through both the author's intention & the skewed perspectives of the two characters involved in it) doesn't mean EVERYONE has to romanticise it and it's only babies or idiots or show only fans who "can't handle gothic fiction".

and then the people who try to convince everyone marius is armand's saviour who only ever treated him with love and kindness really confuse me. like, is it a wholesome relationship built on mutual love? or is it abusive and awful AND loving and caring at the same time? aren't the people who deny marius did anything wrong to armand really the ones who can't stomach enjoying gothic romances and have to twist it into something else?

it's a story of a fully grown man, a millenia old vampire, rescuing a teenager from sex slavery by purchasing him for himself, renaming him, showering him with affection, sexually abusing him, genuinely loving him, treating him like a child and an adult and student and son and lover all at the same time, making his entire world revolve around his master, punishing him emotionally and eventually physically whenever he gets too clingy or aggressive. and it's all done, not under just the 'guise' of love, but from a place of genuine love, and that's how both characters see it. it's entirely damaging and fucked up and the aftereffects of it on armand's mind and sense of self are present for centuries, compounded by everything else he went through. he still draws both comfort and pain from thinking about his past now and even tries to partially recreate the dynamic with someone else both in the book (with daniel, armand taking the role of the master; and keeping young 'mortal slaves' for a time) and in the show (with louis, armand taking the role of the slave)

it is a super fucked up relationship & i'm not one of those people who thinks you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy those in fiction. there's a lot of them that appeal to me obviously, and of course everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to that too. AND i know it's not all marius fans or even all marius/armand fans. i literally don't care what people like in fiction and i think we should all just mind our own business honestly

but it's the people who act like they're the only ones who get that it's just a tragic beautiful romance, that nobody else can read apparently, that 'marius haters' are just looking for things to be mad at that make me go ???????

[oceanwithouthermoon]

maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying

[vypridae]

btw im gaining some attention so anyone here for vees stuff!! if you think the vees are better off without valentino!! and hate on him constantly!! and say that vox deserves better!! get off my blog!! block me!! i don't want that negative energy towards my babygirl on my page!! i recognize that valentino does awful things, and he is a terrible person, but if you think he's the only one of the vees that's super awful then please go away <3 vox and velvette are literally no better, they AID HIM in what he does (velvette's love potion, vox's advertising of said love potion, not to mention their own personal issues). you can hate him as much as you want but if you want him dead because vox and velvette need to get away from him or you think they're too good for him, please dni!!