#i dont think we have enough in common to have like a stable relationship I dont know

[gorillaxyz]

can a bg3 girl and a nixon gal really fall in love

[buckevantommy]

https://www.tumblr.com/buckevantommy/757878657756872704/btw-i-dont-think-we-need-to-worry-about-buck-and

Agree 100%. But, to further expand that, and going outside the world of the show.

From a GA perspective, or the audience full stop, how many partners are we willing to watch before we lose interest? By this I mean - if the writers are spending screen time / several episodes introducing a new character and a new relationship, usually we get invested. And when that person disappears, it can be frustrating, and the introduction of a new person (thus the start of the cycle again), can feel a bit tiring. Every time they need to find something that makes the audience go: okay, it’s worth for me to care about this character.

Buck’s case is a bit particular, because his relationships haven’t been all that well received (until now). Either it was an ‘okay’ situation, without much interest, or an okay reception but controversial at times (for me, Taylor - I do think the GA was okay with her, but ultimately the couple was not good). Tommy has been imo the first relationship that truly has brought in lots of positive and good reviews and a good investment of attention from fans and even GA. Tommy’s clips in any social media are usually the ones with most views, and in things like IG it goes to talk about the GA more than a focused fandom.

This to say - if Buck was to break up with Tommy, I think a lot of the audience would be frustrated or even grow bored of the constant change of partners. Even, they would be less receptive to a future new partner, because if Tommy (so well received) is gone, who would even stay?

Not to say this means Tommy is Buck’s endgame, because no one knows. But at some point the constant change of partners gets old, and we know Tim agrees when he expressed wanting to get Buck off the hamster wheel (something Oliver agreed on), and Tommy is a really strong character to have Buck settle with.

Long story short: not only from a SL perspective, but Bucktommy being long lasting makes sense for the overall image of the show.

You're absolutely right nonny.

bc if we think about bucktommy in terms of it being Buck's relationship aka. a main character's relationship, enough is enough on dragging him from illfit to illfit - that guy deserves to be settled, at ease in himself, as Bobby once told him, and we've already seen Tommy help make that happen for him.

and if we look back at Buck's relationship history: we're 7 years into poor matches for a guy who has always wanted to love and be loved - and Tommy can be that for him! he has been that for him so far and could so easily fit into the narrative as Buck's significant other moving forward indefinitely. Tommy already feels like the missing piece to Buck's story the same way Karen was for Hen and Maddie was for Chim and Athena was for Bobby - and he's a fleshed out character in his own right just as those partners are.

enough screwing around with Buck's relationships. sometimes it feels like just bc he started out as a fuckboy he somehow doesn't deserve a stable, healthy, loving relationship, like the narrative is going out of its way to ruin any chance he has at that for the sake of drama (but again: none of his previous partners were the right match for him).

i'm going to mention dear dean winchester again bc he has so much in common with Buck, and these kinds of characters (male, strong, macho, attractive, swagger, charming, sexually active, presumably bisexual) always cycle through relationships that never pan out - bc they're not the right fit, but moreover bc these partners seem written in just to be eventually written out, there to help the main character's plot along, aid in some personal growth and add drama, maybe attract more viewership for those interested in seeing more (temporary) female characters.

but it is.. *sigh* tiresome, indeed. let Buck have a stable partner - like Hen, and Chim, and Bobby do - and let their relationship be woven into the narrative to create a richer tapestry like those other pairings do. that is so much more satisfying in terms of storytelling and character growth, than trying to insert drama snags that threaten to unravel things. you can still have drama with committed pairings - every other committed pairing in the show is proof of that.

and if we take off the shipper googles: Tommy is good as Buck's partner, he makes sense, and he has great potential in the longrun both as Buck's boyfriend/husband and as his own character within the wider narrative of the show. he's a natural fit, but he's also entertaining and he has history with most of the main characters already.

i really do see Tommy as Buck's endgame btw, bc they work so well together as a pairing but also as independant characters. BUT i wouldn't be mad about them breaking up/taking a break (as i mentioned in that post: uncertainty about having kids; a potential permanent job position out of state) and then come back together stronger for it. we saw it happen with Henren (but i don't want to see cheating with our boys bc it doesn't fit who they are) so we know if they do breakup it doesn't have to be permanent - and i actually would love the mirror to Buck's first serious relationship where Abby leaves him - only Tommy comes back to him.

[mr-magoriums-im-sorry-emporium]

yo hi your shawn spencer having aspd take is awesome, been looking for a 'popular' character that displays aspd better than dexter. if you ever wanna give more elaboration / possibly infodumping i will be in the audience standing and clapping

u sly dog u got my monolouging.... AIGHT HERE GOES!!

so i forgottt if i said so in the og post but i think henry ALSO has aspd and thats where shawn got it from, but to elaborate: i think that's why henry became a cop

FIRST OFF: wrt cops, i am operating on TV SHOW LOGIC, not real life logic. tv show cops and irl cops are VASTLY different in the kinds of morals each set has. rl cops are deeply unethical but in the world henry spencer inhabits, this is largely not the case. since he's In There and not Out Here, i go with the show's portrayal of cops and their morals and values, instead of real life's. everything i say about cops from here on is about the show's cops, aight? aight lets go

SO the thing about having aspd and knowing on some level that you have it and somethings Different about you is that at some point you HAVE to learn How To Live In A Society Without Immidiatley Getting Ostracized. a common tactic for this is to somehow aquire a set of morals and then just Do That. it's what i personally did, and a lot of those morals came feom whatever community i was in. i liked being here, they had some set of morals, and i just adopted those and treated it as truth. over the years this process has become a lot more refined but generally my morals align with the community i find myself in- namely, queer leftists. so a LOT of my moral beliefs come with interacting with queer leftists at length (because, since i was queer, and thus interacted w a lot of leftists) and going "yeah, that makes sense, this is now a moral standard for me"

so tldnr you need to find a community with some moral tenants that you generally agree with and also like, which sounds like a no brainer but its like. a bit different yk? for me PERSONALLY there really isnt much of an internal set of checks and balances that make me agree w my morals under all costs and i can like. turn it off if i need to

but back to the spencers: being a cop is really good for this. the moral set is easy- you're a cop. you care a lot about The Law. ergo your morals are just... the laws are good and breaking tbem is bad. short and simple and to the point

additionally, being a cop means you get to engage in risk taking behavior and get PAID for it! people dont think youre a crazy reckless thrill seeker, they think you're a HERO! and who needs remorse when you're dealing with criminals? you dont NEED to feel bad about power tripping or intimidating them, its totally fine. its fine. its fine

also relationship issues- henry's divorced, that's not uncommon for pwaspd in relationships. sometimes its poorly managed and/or they wont change and even if theyre stable enough not to be dangerous or abusive, it could be an unpleasant experience for a lot of different reasons- arguments being a massive problem when they happen (the remorse thing- good luck actually getting an apology outta them), worry over the risky behavior being met with flippiance, general lack of emotional vunerability. stuff like that

all this btw is based off my real relationship struggles between me and my fiance who does NOT have aspd (we r like... total opposites its so funny. top 10 funniest matchups of all time)

back to shawn. he is a lot like his father in many ways but the main reason i thought he had aspd is just... he treats EVERYTHING with flippiance and sarcasm. even when hes locking in and being serious, there's still an underlying feeling that he's Just Having Fun With This, no matter the situation. which, this isnt like an official criterion or whatever, but like... i know a LOT of guys with aspd. most of them talk like this. there's always a sense of emotional detachment from most things, because there is one, because they have aspd. i jokingly call this the "sociopath lilt" because theres also that sort of, up-and-down inflection (that shawn has!) that comes with it. its so funny it just makes other pwaspd instantly clockable to me. get thin sliced loser

but once i started thinking about it, more things add up... he's CALLED OUT on his risk taking behavior and flippiance towards serious subject matter IN THE SHOW! he's had a ton of jobs and while i can't prove why he kept leaving them, aspd and having a job... don't mix well. i keep getting fired because i keep beefing w my manager, and i can see the same thing happening to shawn, or maybe he broke a rule one too many times, or got caught in a restricted area, or broke something thru carelessness

and it IS played for comedy but he very often tends to not respect the wishes and autonomy of the people he interacts with, ESPECIALLY gus. he cares naught for anything gus has going on with his job and wether or not he'll get in trouble if he leaves early or does whatever scheme shawn cooked up, and generally sort of treats him not very kindly a lot- which isnt to say their friendship is BAD, its just a pattern of behavior yk?

thats all i can think of off the top of my head rn, but yeah imo shawn is a very realistic take on a guy with aspd whos just like. a regular guy with a mental illness thats to some degree managed, some degree not. very "adhd kid went thru some shit and developed aspd" coded (theres a link; if you abuse a kid with adhd theres a HUGE chance theyll develop conduct disorder and later aspd) (also i guess "some shit" for shawn was the divorce and also being raised by a guy with aspd and being influenced by how he thought a lot)

he's not like, dangerous or abusive or anything, he just has his quirks that can cause problems for him or give the people close to him grief, but its kind of like... an affectionate sort of grief, yk?he just reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. and i like that even in a hc theres SOME character out there that isnt like, a serial killer. imagine having a mental illness and all the characters with it are evil. like yeah theyre cool characters but can i have SOMETHING else for once PLEASE

also lassie has npd send tweet

[drageverywhere]

I agree jack obviously wants to be famous but so does literally every person in LA. Including V! She’s just done it already. But even she’s still trying to raise her profile more by doing things like all star shore. Someone different than that I don’t think would have enough in common with V for V to be really interested in them or them to be really interested in her or the two of them to have things to talk about or plan dates around. Like we saw on her dating show with that nice normal guy Jarrett who had a regular non hollywood job and life and has a private instagram profile haha. She didn’t pick him and he was open to getting to know V but he didnt really seem that into her. The important thing to me is that jack liked V for her real boy self. He seemed good for her. They liked the same things and had fun together. I can’t picture her finding someone else she has that much in common with who is as loving and into her as jack seemed to be, as on the same page about monogamy and romance as he seemed to be, and wants her for her boy self first rather than as vanjie. Who’s not first and foremost a drag race fan but still interested enough in drag and performing to wanna be around it all the time and enjoy supporting her and going to her shows. Also whether V wanted to do the vlogs herself or just wanted to support her mans project we know V wouldnt do something she didnt wanna do for 1 second so I really dont think that was the issue. Knowing Vs temper and looking at how fast it all went down I agree with anon it sounds like something like that happened. As far as we’ve seen jack seems pretty calm and patient so who knows what was said for it to go this far but it must have been bad 😬 And knowing V when she’s angry no matter what jack said back it probably would have set her off more. I feel so bad for V I know how it feels to be your own worst enemy ☹️ But I feel for jack too if someone keeps hurting you (as far as we know this is the second time right?) there’s only so much you can help them with love alone. Sometimes people need space to work on their issues 😔😔 and any healthy self respecting person won’t be able to stay in a relationship like that if the other person isn’t trying to change. Which is a bummer because healthy stable love is what V needs! I hope they can work it out if there is still love between them since we know how much V wants a loving relationship and tbh I do think jack is her best chance at having one. Also agree that this is all speculation we will never really know what happened between them and that’s for the best! I’m glad they’re not putting it all out on twitter so much anymore. I keep checking for updates but when they were posting it was honestly stressful to see haha 🙈

[sharpezart]

i want to take a moment to talk into the void about the dynamic of Rio and Murdoc, which I'm sure on the surface can seem like an out of character relationship choice for Murdoc and indeed would be considered one for Rio if anyone should know her other than me (which they do not.)

Anyways, I get into it under this vv ... its more for My own "worldbuilding" for my art, but figured i could post it if anyone wanted a peek! muah <3

Firrrst if all, if you are familiar with What We Do in the Shadows as a series, the dynamic of Murdoc and Rio once they actually get together is similar to Laszlo and Nadja. Which does in fact mean they are some level of in love and the fact that their relationship is open (moreso on Murdoc's end of things, Rio is content as is though she does have a few rare one-night stands) doesn't change that.

Rio and Murdoc are both different levels of self involved. Rio at least is drawn to her less selfish side, and her egotism is much more of an addition to her criminal behaviour, feeling the need to have an "i dont give a fuck, i can do anything i want" attitude. Hers is also far more rooted in genuine confidence than Murdocs'. It is grounded in reason and surviving hellish experiences.

Well, they both know about hellish experiences. Just another thing in common!

Rio tends to be uninterested in the affairs of others, less involved in the lives of her friends. Murdoc is this way to a degree but has the tendency to be overinvolved as well, where he believes he /should/ know the business of his bandmates and often feels put off if he doesn't.

Murdoc is a very push-and-pull fellow, personality wise. He pushes to come across as tough, cool, dangerous, sexy and desirable. This feeds into self involvement. The persona! The great Act! ...and he pulls to try and be a decent bloke, a caring, attentive friend and a pleasant man to be 'round. His needs (patience, love, care) and wants (attention, power, praise) claw at each other, and usually the persona wins. Ever the show off.

Rio doesnt have the inner conflict that could cause her to show off....she just /shows off/ because she likes to do /cool shit/. She's unwavering in doing what she wants when she wants to, whether or not the people around her like it. He first choice in life is usually her own freedom...as is Murdocs! Which is interestingly enough the very reason they are so good together!

They place no hindrance on one another in terms of what they like to do, where they go, or who they are with. The decision to be engaged in a relationship comes about because they are both still people, and people enjoy loving and being loved despite their possible avoidance of saying so (and they do avoid saying this to just about everyone else within ear shot! but, not so much each other). It is perhaps the one source of stability in either of their lives...which I know sounds weird. But it makes sense to me. Sometimes people just need that one link to keep the whole chain sticking together, yknow?

When it comes down to it, the person they each enjoy being around most is each other! The person they think to share news with, check in on, pick up a gift or a snack for....Rio is Murdoc's *Person* just as Murdoc is Rio's *Person*. They both own an understanding of the other person and a willingness to continue doing so that is frankly very refreshing to them both.

For all of Murdoc's mindless chatter, flirting, storytelling, and sometimes accidental ignorance, he /does/ put information about Rio Teagan /somewhere/ in his mind, and keeps that part very well taken care of.

Rio has a knack for seeming like she isn't listening, daydreaming, or purposefully ignoring people...but again!! Miraculously she has chosen Murdoc as someone she keeps up with.

They have similarities, enough to relate to each other and understand struggles, choices, humour etc...and they have enough differences that they aren't at odds and can find a relatively stable balance. The most they bicker about is when Murdoc insists a wild story is true, or when Murdoc feels any sort of threatened by the presence of someone else. Rio can sometimes get on his case about his health and communication skills. They usually resolve things relatively quickly because they can kind of easily just "eh, whatever" it and go about their day without holding a grudge...you just cant control people. You REALLY can't control either of THESE people.

so to wrap it up, they both kinda

suck,

as far as being very pleasant people goes, but they seem to do much better for themselves and others when finally paired up.

[kazuwhora]

here for your matchup if you don't mind :]

i'm an intj 5w6. i'm bisexual and leaning towards male. i'm very interested in video games, fiction and space. when doing things, i'm more opted to think while doing stuff, and sometimes i can be apathetic without realising. i don't like sharing about my negative thoughts and problems. my dislikes are religious talks and overemotional people, since i don't like talking about emotions especially mine. i'm generally not very affectionate but though it's different when it comes to people i'm very close with. i care about them very much and will constantly remind them of that fact. my negative traits are being manipulative and stubborn, and constantly thinking i'm in the right one even though i sometimes get very lost on what's the right thing to do and what's wrong anymore lmao. one of my ways to show my affection are through light insults because i think they're adorable. i sometimes enjoy receiving physical affection depending on the person and also getting gifts. i'm a very good listener and i don't mind listening to people's problems and i would always give them solutions first because i'm not that good at comforting people emotionally. i hope these are enough

btw i LOVE how detailed your matchups are. i hope you consider doing a kin matchup soon because you're very good at this

IM SO SORRY ANON THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAD A MEETING THIS EVENING AFTER WORK PLEASE FORGIVE ME </3 im the worst person in the world and I dont deserve u bye

but also ty for sending so much detail!! im matching you up with the best boy (and also my top kin for tr) DRAKEN <3 omg this is the cutest

draken is definitely a hard one to read and understand, which is part of why he's one of my favourite characters kin wise in the series. even among those who research mbti types extensively, there is debate around whether draken has an extraverted or introverted function. whichever he truly favours, doesn't really matter in this scenario because whether he was an ESTP or an ISTP, both of these mesh really well with the nature in which you function best.

draken is a pretty calm, collected, and mature person. we can see this alone in his relationship with mikey as well as the role that he consistently plays throughout the series. while you may not share many similarities in general with mikey as a character, what you do have in common with him is the internal struggle with emotional vulnerability and expression. cue where draken comes in. he's the type of person (as we see with mikey) that is able to remain calm and stable when it comes to your vulnerability. he wont force it, he wont even hint at the need for you to become more comfortable expressing it. instead, just like with mikey, he's extremely good at sensing the times in which a submission to this vulnerability is needed, and you'll grow to rely on his stability and the trust that has grown between the two of you. he both subconsciously and consciously wants to help you adjust to manage your emotions and vulnerabilities better, and embrace them as a part of what makes you you and he knows just how to do this without becoming overbearing and stepping over your boundaries.

lucky for you, draken himself isn't overemotional to begin with. while he may be comfortable expressing vulnerabilities in the realm of emotions and helping those around him adjust to changes like this, he himself is excellent at acknowledging his emotions and finding a healthy way to cope with whatever he is feeling. he truly just wants to be the best person he can be both for you and him, and he wants nothing more than to have you by his side for the entirety of the process.

here's something he wont admit. draken needs you. he may not acknowledge this openly, but draken finds himself relying on your introversion and appreciation for a more refined way of life as opposed to for example mikey, who as much as he loves him, can become exhausting. he never feels exhausted by you. your presence, and your ability to draw him in to just relax, is the best method of decompressing that he's ever managed to experience. you are a safe haven for him- which isn't something he ever really realized he needed. he didn't know how valuable having someone like you was until he experienced it for himself, and he's not sure if he ever wants to go back to the way he used to be. you can definitely expect this man to marry you. he is so thankful for you even if all you're able to do for him is play video games with him, or tell him about this new book you're reading. the way his eyes soften and twinkle for you is enough to let you know exactly what you mean to him. please he'll do anything for you. he cherishes you sm.

also, two more important notes. first of all, he's gonna shower you with the cutest gifts. like "babe I know you've been really interested in this so I got you a bunch of stuff about it and I want you to tell me about it all ok?"

the other is that he REALLY appreciates your solution based approach to problems because it's exactly the way his brain works and he's like ?? omg ??

match made in heaven <3

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[fuzzbuns]

Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

[polyamcrow]

From monogamy to polyamory

Soon, I'm going to be telling my loving boyfriend of almost 4 years about my polyamorous feelings and needs. This blog will be here to document my polyamorous adventures. Hopefully everything goes well and he's open to it, but I can't help be terrified at the thought of losing him over this. Wish me luck...

♡

For some background; I have been internally struggling with monogamy for years now, before we even met. At first, I thought my feelings to branch out may have been because I was in a <2 year long abusive relationship. Unfortunately- or fortunately, they persisted into my now healthy, happy, and stable relationship of <4 years. I'd been beating myself up about it in the process, thinking I was destined to be a cheater like my father (although I've never cheated). I wondered why my now boyfriend "wasn't enough" for me, even though he is so loving, kind-- pretty much every quality I've ever wanted in a partner, and our relationship is damn near perfect. Why wasn't he "enough" for me when I still love him SO much, when I see and WANT a future with him.

Now, I had known that polyamory exists, but I thought that because I felt jealousy, I wouldn't be able to be in a polyamorous relationship. Not until recently did I find out that jealousy is a common thing within polyamory, but that it doesn't have to destroy your relationships and that it can be dealt with and improved upon. With that knowledge I decided to do more research, and came to the conclusion that this would be a good fit for me. For my boyfriend? I have no idea. I know a couple years ago he asked me about trying friends with benefits and I turned him down because I was afraid he was going to fall in love with someone else and leave me for them. I also wasn't as secure with him and our relationship at that time, especially after having gone through trauma in my last relationship. Now, though- I feel way more comfortable with him, especially with the fact that he's been so loyal despite his sexual desires. I hope he feels the same about me, as I have been loyal despite emotional desires- even though I never told him about it out of fear of losing him or his trust in me. I've even cut off contact with some friends that I'd been infatuated with in the past. But.. I don't want to keep doing that. I can't.

I've met someone else who's almost exactly like me. We're like twins, and our energies naturally flow together. I tried so hard not to fall for him. But I did. I've even given it time. Almost a year. But my feelings haven't changed, and I dont think they will. To make things worse, I think he's fallen for me, too. Normally, I would just cut him off. But, he's different. He brings so many new qualities to the table and I can see myself grow with him. I can see myself going places and doing things that my boyfriend wouldn't want to go and do. I can't give up that opportunity.

Even so, I still love my boyfriend. A lot. When I think about leaving him for someone else, even this new friend, I'm heartbroken. I want them BOTH. They bring different qualities to me that I cherish and wouldn't want to give up.

So that leads me to here. My friend doesn't know I've fallen for him and my boyfriend doesn't either. My friend has continuously kept a respectable distance with me, but even so, I can still tell he feels the same when he looks at me a certain way. I haven't done anything with my friend to breach boundaries in my relationship with my boyfriend. My friend has also considered polyamory and likes the idea of open relationships. So, if everything goes well, I can only assume that everything will fit into place... Or, will it?

I'm sick at the moment, so I'm waiting to get well before I tell my boyfriend. I should be able to by the end of the week (Oct 12, 2019).

I hope I don't ruin everything.

[mastrrt]

Me just trying to predict things Kung Fu Panda 4

Predicting the villain:

This is just some common sense stuff but I’ll say it anyways.

For species it’ll most likely be another animal native to China. Most likely not a feline, bird or bull since it would draw parallels to prior villains.

The main enemy will probably be female, as to break the series of male villains. They’ve done it to Shrek, with fairy godmother.

Dreamworks said, during the creation of Kai, “He cant go brawler, since Tai Lung was brawler. He cant go smarter, since Shen was smarter. Where can we go? You have to go supernatural, bigger, and even more intimidating.” Just like the Averngers franchise, there’s a constant law placed where the villains must get progressively stronger the more the series progresses. Without the villain getting stronger, there’s no conflict —or at least not enough conflict to top the lmovie before it. The villain in Kung Fu Panda 4 must be at least different from the other three villains, or attains two out of the three assets that make up for prior villains. For example, the villain can be both smart and supernatural. Or be a brawler and a smarty. I think particularly for this one, the villain would need to have supreme authority and immanent or supernatural powers. While Kai worked in solidarity in terms of mind, it might be possible that the next villain might actually be villains with one superior guiding over them (the main enemy Po will fight). A regime-styled cooperation, with a leader. Each person in the group is bound to have a one on one against one of the Furious Five. This way, the group can actually do something without compromising the relevance of Po since he’s still the one who’ll defeat the main villain.

In this light, what might be the conflict?

The problem is that Po is nearly a perfect character. Oogway said it himself: he is both sides of the ying and yang. To reach such equilibrium, the soul must be stable, and Po would have been ridden of all evil (check my mirror of yin and yang theory out if you havent already pls). This means that Po would have to break pretty darn bad on the next movie. Every story has a scene where it shows a character’s breaking point. But to break a character who’s both sides of the yin and yang... well, that character would have to put through a lot of hell. That’s why I believe someone’s gonna die in the fourth movie [insert Mr. Ping], or someone’s gonna be temporarily taken away from Po [insert Tigress]. And here’s another thing: the first movie is about body, the second is about mind, and the third is about spirit. What’s left? The heart.

So... these are the core factors that make a human. Flesh is where the soul lives. Mind and heart is what makes a person. You know what heart means? Love. You what love mean? Either romance or family. Now the third movie was already a little bit about family, so does that means theres a little, you know, romance? You know. A certain Tigress that can make Po master the concept of heart. 😏 but in reality, I don’t think drreamworks will make Tigress hostage. It’s not enough catalyst for Po to break, unless they make it seem like Tigress died. And I just cant see it either... too cliche for a story so anticipated. It’ll make sense of Mr Ping would die.

It doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s gonna die though. But the internal conflict must have magnitude near beyond repair, and will damage his heart more than anything else.

What’s the settings?

They always try to change the settings. Valley of Peace. Then to Gongmen. Then to Panda Village. The valley was more a traditional chinese suburb of sorts. Gongmen was an industrial, probaby tech-savvy city. And the panda village was a playground. This one is unpredictable. They might start the movie of at the panda village instead of the valley (which is sad); they took the thousand mile bridge to Mongolia, so the panda village may border Mongolia. And that may mean they’ll travel upwards to the bordering country.

Will the movie fail?

The movie has been delayed till 2020. All three movies have above 80% in Rotten Tomatoes, which is extremely high for the website.

Shrek 3 was rated 48%, which is nearly half of the rating it earned in shrek 2 (89% —ok, not really nearly half but it’s a major dip!) Kung Fu Panda 3 was actually rated higher than KFP 2, which bodes well on the series’ consistency. Luckily (and unfortunately for dreamworks) this high rating perpetuates the pressure of making better kfp movies, to keep all the KFP movies clean And untarnished, to finish strong and not to taper at the end in quality like Shrek. They had four years to work on it. So we’re just sitting here pretty. Financially, the series is doing phenomenal.

But something else worries me. KFP 3 was waaaay to kid friendly for the series. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a childrens show. But a dark underlying plot lay deep in both 1 and 2. Heck. Kfp 1, Shifu lost a child. In kfp 2, implications of genocide. It seems kfp 3s light heartedness was a reimbursement for the darkness they placed in kfp 2. Hopefully, this big bane of appealing to the younger audience won’t negatively affect the deepness and the plot of the fourth movie. But with panda kids, with dim and sum, with mei mei, and with ling or whatever panda father Po has, I think that won’t be the case. If you compare kfp 1 and kfp 3, you could really see a huge difference in tone.

What will happen to the Furious Five:

Them failing after trying to fight the main villain without Po is to repetitive. It seems dreamworks likes it so that Po is the only one who defeats the villain, while the furious five just stands there and lets him skadoosh his way to da top. It’ll be nice, like I said, if they fought a group instead of just one villain. So that everyone has a share if villains, and Po can still take the main villain.

About Shifu and Tigress’s relationship. It’ll Also makes sense if Shifu would pass away, giving Po no choice but to accept full responsibility as the head of the Jade Palace and the teacher of the Furious Five. Or, it’ll also make kind of sense if Tigress is gone temporarily, making Shifu want to spend time with her. If kfp 4 is the last movie then their relationship would be mended. If kfp will really go up to the sixth, then theyll have to prolong the conflict because then there’s really no thread that keeps all the stories connected and make all the stories a one whole story. If they wanted the movies to essentially be a obe whole story, it would make sense if there’s a similar conflict transcending all films and wrapping at the end. With the rise of new characters, the furious will definitely have less screen time. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😠😠😡😞🙃

Anyways, these are just my predictions. What do you guys think would happen?

[tamersa]

Sometimes at work I have such repeatable thing to do my mind is working independently lool Today I was thinking why I love Kamen Rider W and OOO that much, why Wizard And Fourze somehow can’t keep up with those two even if quite good to. Mind you I don’t have much nostalgia since I’m fairly new in the KR world (Decade fault lool) so I wondered. And it was of course main relationships. Both W and OOO have 3 main characters and rest is support. Wizard and Fourze have too many people who have same plot weight to build them enough, to make their relationships feel more complex or just well managed. For W: we have Shoutaro, Philip and  Akiko. For now Shotaro is my favourite main Rider. Very relatable somehow, you can see his pros and cons clearly, but kind guy with that ‘not good enough’ complex. Philip - great for countering Shotaro flaws, the smartass guy with mysterious past, bit to little flaws that are meaningful still the relation with Shotaro is great, you just feel how they grow up fond of each other. Akiko - best KR lady for me, hands down, she is loud, optimistic and somehow have that common sense, reliable too! Without her those two would fail i n 10th episode or so and be dead. those 3 compete each other wonderfully and even if sometimes plot is bit messy, this dynamic always saves the day. For OOO: Eiji, Ankh and Hina. The main rider is likeable and somehow most down to earth Rider I ever seen. Really even as a travelling hob o somehow he is the most normal human in the position :D This is both pro and con of the chara, because sometimes it feels smart and sometimes bit boring? but only a bit. his stable character is something needed to balance Ankh. And yes this asshole, Ankh, angry burd, my favourite chara form KRworld. complex, yet somehow easy to understand, you can see his changing his growth his struggle oh my... but he can also be a dork. Also A+++ acting. Hina - rather quiet girl but those hands power are useful to tame those 2 idiots when needed, yet bit confused by her brother face is the bird face also. And their dynamic ohoho. especially later  it is so good so delicious yes... and OOO has in my opinion more clean plot somehow. And I miss that dynamic in fourze when we have 3 charas that are “main” but because of all other important people they dont have enough time together  to make stronger and interesting bonds. Sam with Wizard: it has less charas but somehow they didn’t made the bonds like they could. so yes, for now OOO and W are best. I wonder if i ever change mind on those?

[astrogrlz]

Unhealthy Moons

Aries: The Aries moon has a lot of conditioning to do. Aries is like a child that needs to be constantly reassured and nurtured. Unhealthy Aries moon lacks emotionally maturity. They tend to be agitated, confrontational and also very vulnerable. They have an “angry” cry. Unhealthy Aries moon doesn’t see the importance of active listening, they completely disregard the other person’s feelings. They can also make themselves seem like a victim—again going back to that “child” complex. Struggles with identity are also highlighted

Taurus: Unhealthy Taurus moons have very BAD coping mechanisms. Keyword is indulgence but over indulgence. You tend to have an abundance of what’s not good for you. This can be alcohol, food, sex, compulsive buying, drugs, etc. They also are pessimistic. They can’t see a good and does absolutely nothing to change it. They just sit and let the fire just burn them. Unmotivated to do anything but also can get heavily attached to their “values” whether it’s people or again, their mechanisms etc. The biggest indication of an unhealthy Taurus moon is their lack of wanting to create or curate art. This sign is very in touch with expressing and spreading creativity. When that is hindered, they feel less of value. They tend to demonstrate poor budgeting skills and will become unresponsive to their environment

Gemini: Unhealthy Gemini moon is a bit tricky. Again mutable moons are usually very adjustable. But an unhealthy Gemini moon is one that is too sporadic that it’s hard to comprehend their needs. They can be very isolated which causes even further agitation. Also, they are constantly stressed. Unhealthy Gemini moons are very insecure when it comes to their worth and the validity of their ideas. On the other extreme, a Gemini moon may be too “happy” (happy isn’t the best word but close enough) that they just do things without thinking. Spending way too much money or just being out of touch with reality. This can hinder their rationality skills. 

Cancer: Unhealthy cancer moon lacks balance. They can almost be “stuck” in the past and refuse to push forward. They constantly victimize themselves and has a poor ability to communicate with their partner or those around them. Hindrance in creativity is also noted.  They find too much refuge in the home so they can be a “failure to launch.” Overabundance in comfort can be manifested into lethargic behavior. Unbalanced emotions also can lead to outbursts and saying things they don’t mean. 

Leo: Unhealthy leo moon lacks the intuition and drive to create. They are unsure of their talents, can be very needy and latch onto people. Constantly needs reassurance that it can drive them into a state of inactivity and lack of worth.They can make things about themselves than those around them. There is a sense of disregarding other people’s needs and all around being unrealistic and having unrealistic expectations. There is also an “obsession” with how you look. You want to please people TOO MUCH that you lose who you are in the long scheme of things.

Virgo: Mercury dignities in the moon placement is always a call for self destruction. Unhealthy Virgo moon lacks the ability to comprehend their emotions which manifests into anxiety and frustration. Also, poor structure and low self esteem. You will rely too much on organization that it only stresses you out further. Unhealthy Virgo moons don’t know how to phrase how they feel to others and will feel that it is a lost cause. Poor self care methods = bad health. Can have constant stomach aches. 

Libra:  An unhealthy libra moon really struggles forming authentic and proper partnerships. They can be really self deprecating, they may even do this to get sympathy from others. They thrive on pleasing their mothers specifically despite a strained relationship. They can get very stress induced when the ppl they try to please dont reciprocate. by return, they can act shallow and disregard others. on another flip, they can be very stagnant and use ppl for their own gain, their own pleasure, their own need for having ppl around them (libra moons NEED partnerships). They can lament about relationships when tbh half the time they are ones at fault--almost like a self sabotage.

Scorpio: Unhealthy Scorpio moons can be a bit selfish. They need others to comfort them but will simultaneously push them away. They might be too paranoid to open up to others bc of the fear of being incriminated or manipulated. They, too, lack emotional maturity. Their wounds may be too deep for others to understand so they just sit, mope around and wait for death. Sounds over dramatic but that’s exactly what an unhealthy Scorpio tends to operate or act. Again, they disregard people’s needs and may victimize themselves too much. Worst thing of all, they may not even realize it. They can be repulsive, pessimistic and lonely. 

Sagittarius: Unhealthy Sagittarius moon can be very resistant and almost stubborn to understanding other people's perspectives. they feel they are the most correct and like other people said, unhealthy sag moons can be TOO dogmatic. They like to be "free" and this idealization of freedom can get in the way of reality and being practical. they always fight for their own cause without being realistic about it. unhealthy sag moon can evolve into extremist behavior. Since they are fire, they may use "force" to voice their beliefs and make them become widely accepted. too much independence and self centrism can make it difficult for connections to flourish.

Capricorn: Unhealthy Capricorn moons are scared. they can be really isolated but on the lowest of keys, thrive for some emotional comfort and security. believe or not they can have outbursts and show anger/frustration. i mean how can they not when they feel "lost" in the world. They may not be in control and that can terrify a cap moon. Not being in control means no framework holding them together. "just going with it" scares a cap moon and this can turn into bad behavior, reliance on substances etc. Like we will see in an aqua moon, unhealthy cap moons may despise and get frustrated by feeling "small" in the world. They can be heavily pessimistic and do nothing to change it. Capricorn is the architect--when they no longer want to build or create, they have hit rock bottom. They may feel like they have nothing left to "fight" or strive towards. They can ruin their connections with others bc of frustration. Again, very self deprecating and rather be left alone despite NEEDING guidance

Aquarius: Unhealthy Aquarius moons are said to be "very detached" but that is not entirely true. They actually become too chaotic. They can become too extreme, completely disregard ppl's feelings, and may even act out to get ppl to care about them and what they stand for--to see how integral they are in the world. When air moons get going they REALLY get going. Again, aqua is air so there is nothing keeping them stable. their emotions can be so consuming that eventually it makes them NUMB. They can get lost easily, lose sense of purpose and destroy all their connections. Unhealthy aqua moon will drop everything and just immerse themselves in the fucking woods tbh. They will lack worth, lose common sense and completely shut down. there is no longer clarity. 

Pisces: Unhealthy Pisces moon lose their agency. They can get too raveled by how other people feel. they will feel like a lost cause; extreme loneliness and they will lose all sense of wanting to create and heal others. Unhealthy pisces moon might get attached to substances or anything that can take them to a different realm. they will lack clarity which can get them or others hurt. also, they can get very tensed, easily strung up and may not even be able to make sense of it. As a last resort, unhealthy pisces moon will look for some type of salvation; look for some type of spirituality that can be offered by people who have bad intentions. The unhealthy pisces moon can eat their souls away. 

[fyrapartnersearch]

rEEE writers inbound

hey there! i’m rhys. i am 22, live in the ct, and love ooc chatter! my ooc is pretty lax, but i promise my writing is a helluva lot more formal. i write in third person, past/present tense, and paragraph form. im not a rapid-fire writer, and won’t be able to constantly get replies in every day (i can get responses in anywhere between every couple of days to a week or two). however, i will ALWAYS put tlc into all of my posts and characters! i write anywhere between 300-900 words. it’s definitely alright if you don’t feel up to that amount at any given point, but i do appreciate keeping it somewhere in this range. im very wordy, and can spew out a novel if im excited enough lmao

  my limits are pretty general; i will not do beastiality, pedophilia, vore, or scat. i can indulge in a variety of kinks, but if it’s a little much for any average person, i’m less likely to write it out (i.e extreme ddlg or adult babies, furries, extreme pet play, etc.) but i can be persuaded to lightly touch on certain kinks as long as they’re not 10000% filth lmao i cannot, and will not, do seme/uke or top/bottom dynamics. absolutely not. queer relationships shouldn’t be defined by whose taking the D. i dont want to interact with squeamish little femboys, or awful macho men with downright rapey tendencies. versatility is key, and power struggles are what i live for! i will, however, indulge in BDSM dynamics with certain plots— although, domination isn’t always about penetration, you know?

  give me characters with aspirations, hopes and dreams, and crushing past experiences that flesh them out into who they are. no one is perfect, and we all have things that rear their ugly heads in the dark. problematic characters, male or female or anything in between, are everything. i love lgbtq+ characters, as i am part of the community myself, and will almost always be more inclined in writing queer characters. not to say i won’t write for strictly straight pairings, m/f, but usually i am iffy when approached with it if i am just meeting you.

  i write for all genders, ethnicity, and orientations! you can find a few writings examples of mine here. i am pretty welcoming of most things. smut, of course. some kink a little out there that you want to suggest? let's do it, dude. i am super OOC friendly and i am pretty much a garbled mess when i get to know you!  i’m a social person— i feel like a burden if you’re not into chatting with me, so please, if you’re not looking to be both a writing partner as well as a friend, i might not be the gal for you. i am open to crooked relationships, ones that don't function right, dark/morally corrupt characters, unconditional love, etc. my interests fluctuate! i am down, 24/7, guys! i only roleplay over email, but will ooc chat over discord or hangouts! here's a list of fandoms and pairings below that i am looking to write for atm. i do have many more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head!

_________

  Borderlands

Handsome Jack/Rhys

Handsome Jack/Rhys/Nisha

  Life is Strange

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price

Max Caulfield/Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase

Nathan Prescott/Warren Graham

Rachel Amber/Chloe Price

Frank Bowers/Damon Merrick

  DC

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Dick Grayson/Wally West

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley

  Batman: Telltale Series

Bruce Wayne/John Doe

Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle

  Marvel

Stephen Strange/Tony Stark

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson

Thor/Bruce Banner

Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

  Uncharted

Nathan Drake/Samuel Drake

Nathan Drake/Harry Flynn

Chloe Frazer/Nadine Ross

  TTGOT

Asher Forrester/Gwyn Whitehill

Rodrik Forrester/Arthur Glenmore

Mira Forrester/Margaery Tyrell

Gryff Whitehill/Elaena Glenmore

Gared Tuttle/Finn

Gared Tuttle/Josera Snow

  The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes/Negan

  TWDG

Javier Garcia/David Garcia

Clementine/Gabriel Garcia

Clementine/Louis

Clementine/Violet

Marlon/Louis

Javier Garcia/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  Far Cry (3-5)

Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro

Jason Brody/Bambi “Buck” Hughes

Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min

Ajay Ghale/Sabal

Ajay Ghale/Sabal/Amita

Rook/Joseph Seed

Rook/John Seed

Rook/Faith Seed

  Punisher

Frank Castle/David Lieberman

Frank Castle/Billy Russo

  Mass Effect: Andromeda

Scott Ryder/Reyes Vidal

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie

Scott Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Vetra Nyx

  Kill Your Darlings

Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg

  ____________

Onto original plots!

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  Office romances/BDSM/Friends with benefits-turned-lovers

okay, so, i had this type of roleplay with someone a while back. maybe more than two or three years back that i fell out of contact with and i could never really get it out of my head because it was probably one of the best character-building stories i’ve ever taken part of. :’) i don’t remember their name, but i do hope they’ll contact me again if they ever see this. while some of this may seem specific, none of it is concrete and i promise i am very easy to get along with and very accomodating! the plot i remember had three different relationships— completely different people, with different lives and different worlds, with only one common thing between them being that they work in the same building. we can do all three, or we can do a few, or even ��one! i dont mind.

  **pairing A; M/F preferred (lol i know broke my own rule, but i adore femdoms! extra: please come with an open mind. this is not a 50 shades AU, and i do not want it to be.) this one is between a CEO and an intern in their senior year of college. The CEO is a femdom, and freshly out of divorce, takes a liking to the clumsy intern who’d spilled coffee on her more than once. The intern has never been in a relationship with an older woman, let alone one running a multi-million dollar company, but hey, isn’t that the dream for some broke twenty-something down on his luck? She introduces him to BDSM, and while he’s hesitant, the idea is as exciting as it is frightening. He accepts her offer— while it’s difficult at times, he begins to learn more about her. Her ex-spouse, her young child, and her unwillingness to develop a sincere relationship with him. She’s had subs before, and while she tells him he isn’t disposable, he begins to feel it was the truth. He grows to have feelings for her, and while she isn’t too keen on admitting it, the feeling is mutual. I’d love to explore their dynamic in and out of sex, and the conflict between the intern and her ex-spouse. I love age gaps, and think it would be awesome to see them develop over time to find common ground to establish a personal relationship and trying to even out their power imbalances. I don’t mind playing either the CEO or the intern, but I am leaning more towards the CEO. :V**

  **pairing B; M/M preferred (this one is waaay more gritty and more dub-con than anything so please beware!) this one is between two higher-ups who have been butting heads for years— and occasionally, sexual tension neither have acted on. A is a snarky, openly gay man, and probably what some would consider shallow and noncommittal. B is a brooding, closeted ‘by the book’ type well into his thirties, and refuses to engage in anything sexual with men despite his obvious attraction; B has younger siblings he takes care of as well as his mother, and being the oldest son and only provider, hasn’t done a thing for himself in twenty years. A lives completely alone, complete with a bachelor pad and, the influx of flings that went nowhere past sex, and has risen to the top with his own sheer will. they have conflicting motives, and while both of them have an intense hatred for each other, they’ve never engaged in physical altercations in fear of losing their jobs. one day, A jabs a little below the belt, and finally, B starts swinging. this fight turns into something way more heavy in the company parking lot. what happens between them in the long run is something desperate, needy, and longing for real affection. it began as a mindless need for sex, angry and mean and formal, with B being especially unwilling to ‘give up’ his masculinity and ever be on the receiving end in fear of losing the control he needs to keep this up. i’d love to see them begin to see each other in a different light, and changing each other for the better. i’d also love to see A showing B that sex doesn’t have to be meaningless, and that he doesn’t need to fear letting A be in control. And B showing A that commitment isn’t as terrifying as it may be, with them gradually going from rivals, to friends with benefits, and eventually lovers. i, again, don’t mind writing for either! **

  **pairing C; F/F preferred. (aaa this pairing is way more fluffy and sweet, with hurt/comfort as a stable of their dynamic.) this one is between two small-office employees in the company. A is fairly tame at work in order to support her sibling(s), of which she has adopted from her father’s custody years ago. she is fairly confident with her sexuality, and while not being the type to frequent clubs, is dragged along by a few friends and there, meets B. B is a young woman who just recently got out of a relationship with an abusive ex fiance— B has only ever been with that man, and was never confident in exploring her sexuality due to a religious upbringing and parents who were dead set on traditional values. she’s never strayed from her ex, and while he wasn’t faithful or remotely good to her in return, she was heartbroken with their split. months after, he returns to the city and B’s close friends decide to take her out on a girls’ night to make her feel better— B coincidently sees her ex, and feeling childish and unattractive, heads off to the bar to get a drink. she’s nowhere near a drinker, and just before she does drown her sorrows, is hit on by A. while initially shocked, B is flustered and finds herself immediately attracted to A. they have a one-night stand, and while B believes that A would just leave in the morning, A instead lays with her until she wakes up, and leaves her number. B is too anxious to text her. they bump into each other at the elevator that Monday. they agree to be just friends, until B knows what she wants. A is willing to wait. B might have a crush, and A is intent on building B up to love herself and her body. i would overall prefer to write for A, but if you’re dead set, no prob!**

  Serial killer/1960’s/Small town sheriff

no preferred pairing! would love, love, love to see something between a serial killer and a small town sheriff in the mid-to-late sixties. we could make up a new little town, or find one to our liking! A is the sheriff who had been born and raised in this town with a good home life, loving parents, and a steady moral compass, albeit trapped in a loveless marriage. they know everyone, and every nook and cranny of the place like the back of their hand. this is the type of place where people don’t have to lock their doors at night, or constantly watch their kids when they’re out in the yard playing. that is, until people start going missing and horrifyingly mutilated bodies began to pop up around town. B is a well-liked baker in town; known to be genuinely friendly and kind, B has a very corrupt past. both of their parents were heinously abusive, and as a child, B developed sociopathic tendencies. B was inherently spiteful of the town and the people in it, for leaving them to rot in hell for eighteen years, and for never reaching out. B formed a god complex, his intentions to ‘purify the corrupt’. they keep tabs on almost everyone in town, and the victims they do take are put in the soundproof basement of his home to be ‘baptized’; tortured, beaten, and mutilated beyond recognition. A and B are friendly with each other as A comes to the bakery every morning, with B’s motives completely unbeknownst. one night, A, frustrated and pissed from the dead ends of the case of the decade, decides to head to the bar and relax. B is the one face A didn’t mind seeing that night, and one thing lead to another, with A and B in a dark alley getting each other off— i definitely see this as B grooming A to be a complicit pet, and when A gets closer and closer to figuring out who the killer is, he forms a deep connection with B. B develops a possessiveness over A, along with that sense of ownership he’d established between them. B manipulates A, coerces him into a false sense of security, and eventually— A finds out, and while B initially thinks to kill A, A is corrupted by B and forms some kind of stockholm syndrome for B. it’s up to A on whether or not they turn B in, or cover the killer’s tracks. B, despite his very sick and repulsive nature, develops a true infatuation for A, as close to love as they were ever going to get, and A is desperate enough to please B that they’ll do anything to not disappoint them.

  Post apocalypse/decades later/immunity

no pairing preferred! the plot I had in mind is loosely based off of a video game called "The Last of Us", which i am sure most of you have a general knowledge of! (definitely check it out if you don’t :O it’s a great game!!) the prompt i was shooting for goes something like this; in a post-apocalyptic world where a pandemic has killed off most living species, character A is a lone wolf with little to do with other people that don't benefit him, except for a select few. A is especially rough around the edges, as he's lived through some sick shit and lived to tell the tale. A had once been part of a group dedicated to finding a cure, but things went south, and a lot of people died. A had a close bond with the leader of said group, and coincidentally they were the only survivors. their past together, having been deeply demented and twisted, caused them to fall out. said leader has rebuilt a new group in the ten years since the last time they'd seen A. character B is the only known immune person alive, and has dedicated their life to being a resource to finding a cure. A and his (current) contact/partner in crime have something taken from them, and are determined to get it back. they do some searching, and are confronted with this group-- they have what they need, but are only willing to give it to them for a favor in return. no one can outrun their past forever. so, this plot isn't concrete. things can be changed, we can do whatever we want, and i am happy to comply to any revisions or suggestions! i'd really enjoy taking on A, if that's alright!

  TREASURE HUNTERS/ANCIENT CURSES/LOVE-HATE DYNAMICS/MODERN

treasure hunters!!!! yES!! think Uncharted or Tomb Raider. an architect/treasure hunter is being funded an expedition to find a lost treasure and they are forced to bring along a reporter in order to receive the funds. the reporter and architect certainly dont get along in the beginning— they bicker, and clash on most fronts. the expedition wasnt meant to be dangerous. what was initially thought to be a simple job turned into something treacherous; bandits, a team of hired hitmen and their leader looking to take the treasure for themselves, and some rather supernatural elements that they both couldnt quite put a finger on. the treasure hunter and the reporter have to work together to get out of this alive, and get to the artifact before someone else does. (the “treasure” is definitely up for debate!! we can chose a real life lost treasure, or just make one up!! it can be anywhere around the world, and everything is at our disposal).

  DEMON/INHERITANCE/HUNTERS/MODERN

character A has an awful time living in the city— alone, and without mom's guidance, completely lost. one day they receive a call about a deceased relative, one they'd never heard of, one that apparently left their estate and everything in it in their will to A. with nothing but the clothes on their back, A took a shot in the dark and drove out to this presumed "estate" come early summer, only to find that it's a mansion in a tiny little town with an eerie vibe and populated by the typical small town churchgoers and farm folk. living in this town was a hell of a challenge; everyone was nice, too nice, and people started to go missing. character B is an exceptionally charismatic, charming person and the only mechanic/handyman in town. A and B become friends, partially, when A needs to fix up the piping in their estate. A stumbles upon the attic one day, and for once, they start to get why this whole town reeked to the roots in weird shit-- their deceased relative was tracking something here in this town, having to do with all of the MIA townsfolk. DR has a board of possible suspects, and at the center? B. A shrugs it off as their relative having been paranoid, but the longer A stays in this town, the more apparent it becomes that DR wasnt crazy. B is, in fact, not the murderer, instead a supernatural being (open for debate! im on the fence with demons, vampires, etc.) on a mission to track down the monster, same as DR. i am so down for internal struggles, sweet gestures, and overall, two people just trying to make it work! i could also see A being hella paranoid that B is the monster, and maybe tries to throw cloves of garlic at them only to realize thats not exactly how this monster hunter business works lmao

  DEPRESSED WRITER/YOUNG MUSE/between 1920’s-1960’s/sex, drugs, & the american dream

m/m preferred! A is a severely depressed middle-aged man believing his life has been wasted. his wife left him with their child at her hip, his career was in a rut, and he had nothing left to live for. opting for suicide, he goes out one evening to purchase a bottle of gin to down with a handful of prescription sleeping pills when he returned to his apartment. instead of going directly home, he’s swept in by the music in an underground club for queers. there he meets B; all encompassing, angel faced, and the only person A didn’t know how to look away from. B is a former US Navy Seal, aspiring musician, and avid indulger of the human body— A stays a little too long, owlish and red, and after the show, B approaches him with a cattish smile. they spark a friendship, and A is thrown down the rabbit hole when B introduces him to his social circle, filled to the brim with drag queens, junkies, queers, and the overall unusual— he integrates into this community, his contemplation of suicide only a distant memory, and begins to find himself extremely attracted to B. he lights a fire in A, something dangerous and unquenchable, and A finds himself drawn in by the unpredictability. A embarks with B on a journey of self exploration, passion, and inevitable love in a world that scorned the oddities of human attraction and anyone who dared to be free.

  thanks for your time! if you've read through, please contact me at dotiscat@gmail.com on email or rhys#3615 on discord and mention kiwi somewhere in your initial message. n_n

  Rhys xoxo

[happy-trails-kid]

Please answer all prime number asks

bold of you to assume i know all prime numbers from 1 to 100 my good sir. thank god for google.

2. is your room messy or clean? oh Messy3. what color are your eyes? blue5. what is your relationship status? so single7. what color hair do you have? naturally it’s potato. well, light brown. but i have some of it colored blue.11. favorite social media account? tumblr. 13. any siblings? ya i got a half-brother, he’s 10 i think. something like that.17. how many times a week do you shower? 2-319. shoe size? like 40-41 in estonian sizing but i have no idea about elsewhere sizing.23. describe your dream date. going to a zoo or botanical gardens maybe? i havent thought about it tbh29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? ahhh. alright, here’s another common story about how kids are mean. when i was like 12 or something a new girl came into our class and i made friends with her. the thing is, she was fat compared to the rest of us little twigs in my class then, and pretty soon the others would start bullying her. i didnt pay mind to it at first, but then my other friends would start making fun of me for playing with her and i eventually got ashamed of being friends with her and. well, i stopped being friends with her and started bullying her like the rest of them did. i’m not proud of it, if i could do it over now, i’d tell the others to fuck off31. 3 favorite boy names. Tristan, Andreas, Michael37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot of books, but not really recently. and oh boy,, dont make me choose, i love a lot of them to bits. “Faust” (Goethe) is good. “How To Kill A Mockingbird” (Harper Lee). “Kaksikliik” (Eiv Eloon). Honestly, “Hamlet” even, actually. 43. top 10 favorite songs. see that list is gonna be different each week but right now i think: Je Dors Sur Des Roses (Mozart L’Opera Rock)Le Bien Qui Fait Mal (Mozart L’Opera Rock)Come What May (Moulin Rouge)A Million Dreams (The Greatest Showman)anything by Owl City or Ed SheeranDeath of a Bachelor (P!atD)Can’t Help Falling In Love (Elvis Presley)Hold Me Tight Or Don’t (Fall Out Boy)HallelujahNext To Me (Imagine Dragons)

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A big house. I live in an old estonian farmstead, so we have all these other buildings too like stables and barns and the like. ofc, we don’t hold cattle or crops in them or anything, just shit that has to be somewhere, or firewood for winter or something.53. opinion on smoking? your lungs, man. i’ll never smoke tho.59. do you smile for pictures? yeah61. have you ever peed in the woods? yeah67. what are your hobbies? drawing, mainly. guitar and ukulele sometimes71. tea or coffee? i love them both but i drink coffee more often73. do you want to get married? sure why not79. do you believe in ghosts? yeah83. regular oreos or golden oreos? i dont know what golden oreos are so, regular89. do you like your neighbors? i don’t know who they are. i know one of our neighbors raises sheep and has three dogs and i have seen her once, when my mom went there to ask if we could get wool from them and i was along. she seemed nice enough.97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk or dark, definitely not white 

[meggannn]

ironically one of my favorite things about shepard/garrus is one of the things i think bioware did least successfully, at least for my personal taste. and i admit this is mostly cause i prefer developing/reading professional or emotionally reserved sheps (at least on the surface) who gradually open up to their li over time, over sheps who wear their heart on their sleeves from the beginning, and there are very few bw romances that really allow you to play that first kind of character, considering you, the pc, have to instigate the romance dialogue. there’s only so much a game can do to mimic a ‘real’ romance after all. even so i do prefer a bit of, if not subtlety, then.... tactfulness, i guess, when the pc pops the question, especially with a character like shepard who is so duty-focused and (until the proposing scene) never really indicated they were driven by their libido when looking for a partner (even if they were joking). so that “do you wanna bang” scene gives me such second hand embarrassment i gotta rewrite most of their entire me2 romance in my head and one day i’ll put it to a fic, but in the meantime...... i’ll just blab about it on tumblr dot com i guess....

like, i like the VIBE that is established. i like that in me2, we get confirmation that: a) garrus’s confidence in personal matters is absolutely nil when it comes to romance, much less an interracial romance; b) it sets up a real sweet theme of realizing they actually DONT know that much about each other’s culture or biology or anything related to their race, and the romance is staged to give them each time to do research on the other’s biology and anatomy (which is practical and common courtesy and the right thing to do! and also a little sweet when you consider how terrified garrus is of screwing it up!), c) however it started, whether facetiously or nervously or enthusiastically, these two are still able to have a nice moment together and acknowledge there are feelings between them that can (and if you ask me, do) still go unsaid. and in me3, we see them both (or at least garrus) in a bit more emotionally stable situation, maybe driven by a desire to see something go right in the middle of the war, so we establish a) garrus is still nervous and treading cautiously, but b) confident enough to prepare for a reunion, to articulate his questions about their relationship, to let shepard know he’s there for them regardless, and c) if you confirm the relationship, shepard and garrus can tease each other as friends and work together as soldiers and still have a supportive emotional/intimate partnership in their private time. 

i just think you can have all of these angles to their relationship without the current get-together. imo you lose a lot of possible development and depth when you start all of this by having shepard walk in and say “heyyyyyyy let’s you and me ‘‘‘ease some tension’’’ together ;) :) ;) do you see me winking”, like.... how does a commanding officer say that to another adult they respect and (possibly) genuinely like, idk. it seemed like such a lazy way for the writers to get them into bed together without considering who these people are. and yeah, every shepard’s different, it’s possible someone found that very ic for their shepard. personally i’ve always been more of a fan of piecing together canon clues to tell me who the pc is and extrapolating an oc from there, and what most of canon tells me, is that shepard is someone who prioritizes duty (either to the alliance, or to saving innocents, or to just getting the job done) above nearly all else, including their own personal life. that doesn’t mean i don’t see shepard being an instigator or an occasional flirt. just......

bleh. is it too much to want a better get together than “let’s fuck”? idk. i feel like a whiner bc shepard/garrus is obviously the most popular pairing in the fandom, it dwarfs so many others in content and you can’t throw a stone without meeting an insufferable stan, and here i am complaining about it not being done my way. i guess i just feel like the writers listened to the fans who wanted garrus as an li from me1, but didn’t listen to why. they drew the shortest line between a and b (“they want to bone the alien? here you go, i guess!”) and left it at that.

i mean admittedly, left up to me, i’d stuff so much drawn-up pining into a canon shepard/garrus get-together that neither of them would be able to breathe through the ust. there’s a line i like in kaidan’s romance (not to hijack a shenko line for a shakarian thing, but it’s something i find so true to shepard’s character i adopt it for my shepard too, even though i don’t romance kaidan and save ashley) when shepard tells kaidan in the moment that she needs a shoulder, not a subordinate, and kaidan says “cut me a little slack, shepard, it’s not like you’re easy to read.” that is how i tend to play and read shepard: as someone who is emotionally available for their crew but plays things close to the vest with their own feelings. paired up with garrus, who is a better turian than he thinks and is pretty goal-oriented and professional under shepard’s command, it’s hard for me to believe these two would just fall into bed with each other after only one or two conversations of known build-up (stressing “known” here is as “acknowledged feelings” but could also be notable ust, which is my hc). in my reading, these two are much better at reading others (c-sec and officer training) than themselves, and one could argue are duty-driven enough to maybe not even bring up/realize their attraction until me3 (why couldn’t garrus have been an li in me3 for new romances or mshep!!!! who tf knows!!!!!)

all those times femshepard tells garrus she loves him in me3? not really my shepard’s style..... how’s an earthborn kid who’s been a marine all their adult life and never had a family or serious relationship know how to recognize and admit love out loud? garrus himself doesn’t tell shepard he loves them till the beam run, and even then, he barely whispers it. i have to turn my freaking speakers up just to hear him. it’s hard for him to say out loud. maybe turians have different language for it, or maybe there’s a stigma, or maybe the culture’s different. i dunno! but i keep thinking about the impact it would’ve had for that to be the first time shepard says it, too. like they’ve just realized it and want to get it out because they know it’s the end. or you could get away with not saying it at all, if you pick the renegade option. or you could have them try to say it and fail! come on, isn’t that sadder?

shepard wants to say -- she doesn’t know what she wants to say. whatever great emotion she’s been holding back since that night in her cabin is stuck in her throat and refuses to form. the bay door can’t remain open for long. garrus’s skull is caked with dark blue blood, his leg bent awfully, and shepard sees a sharp, snapped edge to his armor where his spur used to be. he should be in the med bay. he needs medical attention more than he needs to be wasting time saying goodbyes.

but he won’t go, he refuses, he won’t leave her be. “shepard -- i’m still good. just give me my gun. i can still fight.” blood dribbles into his eye from a crack in his forehead. he’s crouching so low to stand that he nearly meets her height. she’s never heard him plead before.

“vakarian -- ” her voice is hoarse when she talks; her throat burns. she’s been shouting all day. she’s surprised she can still talk at all. “don’t make me give you an order.”

“that’s not fair.” he laughs desperately, a bit disbelieving. half of his visor is dangling, interface dead; his armor scorched and chipped across the carapace; and his eyes, still, are locked on hers. “don’t -- shepard. please.” she’s ever heard him plead before.

“shepard,” tali says quietly under garrus’s arm. her helmet is cracked, badly, suit ruptured in a dozen places. but shepard hasn’t heard a single complaint from her, from either of them, and she realizes in this moment that she can’t let them go on. if they followed her, they’d follow her through hell again, follow her until they dropped, and she cannot abide by that.

“we’re in this -- ” garrus coughs, badly. fresh dark blood spits up from his throat; spots hit shepard’s chestpiece. his eyes water. “we’re in this ‘till the end. shepard.”

she’s never pleaded in her life either; she will not start now. “i need.” her voice is too hoarse, too quiet; he can’t hear her over the roar of the thrusters. she swallows, tries again. “i need to know people are getting out of this alive. i need you to be one of them.” to tali: “both of you.”

garrus stares at her, lost for words. “shepard,” he whispers. he looks prepared to say something great, and she readies herself for another argument -- but then she sees the moment the fight leaves his eyes, the moment lays down his gun, and she hates herself for being relieved. “just,” he says, “make sure that includes you too.”

harbinger roars in the distance; she glances to the great white beam heading their way, then back to the bleeding pair of them, waving firmly toward the ship as she moves off the gangplank. “go! tali -- take care of him!”

she realizes belatedly that those will be logged as her final words, and the last he’ll remember her by. and then he’s gone, and so is the normandy. the moment is over and she’s missed her chance. she thinks, garrus will understand. he couldn’t say it either.

i mean that’s garbage but i like it better than shepard dropping the l-word in every romance scene! fuck! i just want a little nuance ok leave me alone

[missjackil]

Sam, Dean & Sera Gamble

It’s been my feeling since I watched Seasons 6 and 7 that they were different than all other seasons. I didn’t hate them, but I didn’t necessarilly like them either. They were Sera Gamble’s era, and though Im sure it’s hard to stay true to Kripke’s vision, and yet add your own vision to it, I don’t think she did a very good job. I was speaking with a friend recently, who told me it’s a common opinion that Gamble was a Sam girl, the last show runner to “take care” of Sam’s character, and the last one to understand the brothers’ relationship. I nearly spit my coffee on my laptop! Now, this isnt to wank on my friend, I wont name her, but she’ll know who she is if she reads this. She’s a sweety and I respect her, so friend.... this isnt against you :)  Now me, personally, I do tend to see things completely opposite of how most of the fandom sees it, I dont know why that is, but I do. This time is no different, because Im going to go outside the box and explain why I think Gamble was a Dean girl, and maybe even secretly hated Sam. I dont know why she got fired, if any of you do, please enlighten me, because it would seem to me that she got fired for favoring Dean too much and nearly destroying Sam’s character, and Im going to explain why. 

To start, she wasn’t the head hancho yet in S4, but she was the one who insisted that Sam sleep with Ruby and Dean sleep with Anna. Now I understand how intriguing it was to think of one brother sleeps with a demon while the other sleeps with an angel, but if you read these conditions in a fan fic, youd scream “Dean girl!” and complain about the Sam hate in the fact that Sam slept not only with a demon, but with a dead meat suit, while Dean’s angel conveniently had her own body and not someone elses vessle.   Anyone who wasnt a Sam fan before hand, certainly didnt become one after that. Now I know it was hard to redeem Sam after the events of S4, and I wont blame Gamble for that completely, but the end of S5 brought back the brave, sweet, selfless Sam we know and love. The one who only wants to do the right thing, has unlimited love and faith in Dean, is willing to take responsibility of his actions, will give up his life to save the world, and the love for his brother is strong enough to overpower the Devil himself.<sniff> but Gamble got the show for season 6 and what happened? The very first thing, is reward Sam’s courageous act of S5 with coming back soulless. And for a while. at least 5 episodes, all that meant was Sam was Sam minus his good qualities. His compassion, kindness, and love for Dean. Sure, Soulless Sam was sexy and funnier than normal Sam, but for the most part, he was just cold. Again, if you werent a Sam fan up till now, you werent becoming one during this arc. The arc itself, though it seemed to be about Sam, was really about Dean and his reaction to Soulless Sam. What it did to him, how Sam let a vamp turn him, how Dean hated being in the same room with him and very little about how it affected Sam other than for him to say he doesnt care about anything, even about Dean, which made us all hurt for Dean, not Sam.  One of the biggest traits in the WInchester bromance, is that Sam and Dean will go over and above the call of duty for each other, and are self destructively co dependent, and yet the only time in s6 and 7 that Gamble showed this was when Dean went to get Sam’s soul back and died to talk to Death. We see Dean laying his life down for Sam, because he loves him so much, meanwhile.Sam is trying to kill Bobby. Still not winning Sam fans here. Also Sam was trying to kill Bobby to make it impossible to get his soul back, because he was afraid of what would happen to him, which is inconsistant with being soulless, because Soulless Sam (and other soulless people) had no fear, so to me it looks like a plot device  to keep Sam unlikable, it had even been stated by Bobby, that Dean was his favorite, not something a “Sam girl” would put in the mouth of the man Sam loves as a father, is it? Then Sam gets his soul back and with all the talk about how much damage it could do, one would think Sam would be the focus of s6b but he wasnt really, not even in the episode that he got his soul back. We did get an awesome bro hug then, and Im thankful, but the episode turned quickly to a filler/monster hunt, that pushed Sam to the side while Dean went to get that dragon killing sword and do a little physical comedy.  After that, we got a couple hell visions, but no real bromance or happiness that Dean had Sam back, it was just business as usual. We had a lot of comedy though with French Mistake, Fronteir Land, The Heart Will Go On, and Mommy Dearest. Keep in mind we have Dean looking all sexy in his cowboy outfit, and Sam just dresses like Sam with a cowboy hat. Clear signs of a Dean girl Season 6 wraps up with 3 episodes, The Man who Would Be King, that is very Cas heavy even though he’s a side character. He doesnt share this story with Sam or Dean, they just support it. Let it Bleed, which is Dean heavy, Sam isnt in much of it, and Cas is in even less. It’s primarily all Dean, Lisa and Ben, and then The Man Who Knew Too Much, which is actually one of my favorites, Its Sam heavy-ish, even though his hell wall just collapsed, and a fantastic story is unfolding, but he has to share the episode with Cas’s story independent of his own. and of course, Dean has things going on with Bobby. This is not a sign of a Sam girl.

 In the real SPN world, Dean would have stood down with the threat that Sam wouldnt be fixed if he didnt. As we saw him easily give up Anna for Sam, and how he let Lucifer/Sam beat the crap out of him just to keep Sam above ground and give him time to take over. Dean didnt even have a plan to that could help Cas’s problem, but he was willing to let Sam suffer and maybe die, just to stop Cas’s plan that he had no idea if it would fail or not? That’s definitely not “understanding the brothers’ relationship”  Now we move on to S7. The first 2 episodes are pretty heavy for Sam. It looks like he might get a good solid storyline this season. But what does a Sam girl think will help the already painful flood of Hell memories? I know, lets highly imply that Sam was raped by Lucifer!!! YEAH!! This goes great in a show that only gets a pg14 raiting, that emphisizes in love and family. it really NEEDS to have a lead hero raped by the devil for 180 years! How about we also add insult to injury and make Lucifer charming and humorous so the audience will like him! Not like Alistaire that the audience couldnt wait to kill.  I had hoped for the return of the Winchester bromance when Hello Cruel World had some wonderful moments of it. Dean waking Sam for breakfast, and tending to his hand wound, and listening to him about the hallucinations. The scene in the warehouse where Dean showed Sam to press on his wound to keep focus on whats real was one of the best bromantic moments of the series, and then Dean panicking with Sam unconscious in the ambulance. But it was sadly short lived. The next episode is mainly taking place weeks later, Sams issues are touched on for a minute, but he goes out on a hunt by himself, which pisses off Dean who still has a broken leg and cant drive.

 And then Leviathans, and DIck Roman and Samgirl Gamble for some reason thinks it would be such a riot for Sam who has been hallucinating Lucifer and the cage, to get roofied, married, and tied up naked by a stalker fan!! WTF????? And then Bobby dies, and then Sam gets kidnapped by Vetalla for 3 days while Dean was sleeping, and while Sam is bleeding out, Dean is trying to be friends with an annoying teenage girl. and then Dean gets to travel back in time and look smokin hot while he hangs out with Elliot Ness, then Dean fathers a monster daughter, and Sam kills her, and LETS CHASE SAM AROUND WITH CLOWNS!!! Oh wait, is he still having hellucinations? Hmmm I forget, and this is about the time I think Gamble had gotten fired because I have no idea what she was thinking to this point.  Sam’s hallucinations had been put on the back burner so much that I wonder if her intentions were to keep him in that state for a long time. To maybe throw into the mix every now and then, that Sam isnt stable. so he might not be strong enough to handle this thing, or he might not be in his right mind, so Dean will REALLY be the main hero and the most credible of the 2. Because Dean even used Sam’s mental state as a reason why he lied to him about Amy, and Sam just accepted it.  Repoman brought Sam’s hallucinations back to the surface, and i think Carver may have taken over by then because Sam was frantic to find his kidnapped brother, much more than Dean was to find his a few episodes before. Carver had to have been back by The Born Again Identity because Cas came back. I wont say I like the way Sam’s mental health was handled, it was just over by Cas taking on the pain, but at least it got attention and SOME form of closure.  Now Carver isnt without some pretty epic sins, but he definitely wasnt afraid of bromance, and the Winchester co-dependency. I wonder if Gamble gets such support simply because she is a female and women tend to want to support women in business full of men, and I understand that, but Ill still call out the woman if she does a crap job, which I really think she did in this case. She did a better job at taking care of Dean than Sam, and she did nothing to help their relationship.