#i dont think ive ever posted the sequence in full so heres one of my all time fav moments in the '41 one solo

[ufonaut]

Streak? Never! He’s a one-man dog, Miss Norsett! Streak really doesn’t like girls!

Alan Scott in Green Lantern (1941) #34

(Robert Kanigher, Alex Toth)

[kiisuuumii]

@kiisuuumii's writerly questionnaire !

thank you @lead-to-code for tagging (ily kara <33)

i'd love to see yall's answers (only if you'd like to share of course !) @noahsbong @yearning-rambles @thesorcererpoet

about me:

1. when did you first start writing?

i was maybe between seven and nine ? to be honest, i can't really remember when it was, but i remember the first few things i wrote were story quizzes on a (now gone </3) website called quizilla (it was naruto rp....................)

2. are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

not really, now that i actually think about it ! ive always been the type of writer that only liked writing angst, and even outside of writing (fan) fiction (which tbh i dont do very much of anymore), so much of my poetry either comes from heavy emotion or features it so sdghjksd

3. is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

theres one mutual, actually, who i actually wished i could write more like. in a very self-deprecating way, but ive since become very comfortable, and maybe even happy (!), with my style of writing ! so, no, i'm not really looking to emulate anyone in particular, and no one's ever made a comparison between my work and someone else's so no to that one too :0

4. can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

i usually write on my phone, in the notes app or in my drafts here ! and ill usually only write in a (head) space where i can really think, undisturbed, for at least 30-45 mins. so i'll usually be out in my backyard under one of my calamansi trees ! though, lately, ive been occasionally writing at my desk on desktop tumblr :>

5. what's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

fall in love with someone

once i start thinking about how everything around me is alive, i start remembering that i, too, am apart of nature—a lucky enough set of sequenced mutations, to make me—just a eating, breathing, shitting animal. how lucky this set of mutations is to take it all in, the emeralds in the trees, and the beat of a chipmunk's heart, how scared we all are.

that or love

6. did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

people, no, but places, yes. i grew up for most of my childhood in the desert, and i have /always/ hated summers, because i'm kinda heat sensitive, and i sweat easily, and i hate it i hate i hate it djhks

but, a year ago, i moved back home, and, honestly, since being back home, ive come to appreciate the desert a bit more sgkjds i used to think they were ugly and uninteresting, but there's so much more there if you look a bit harder imo

7. are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

honestly !! i think there are plenty obvious ones, but i really wanna talk about /the lack of/ sexual themes in my work !! i wanna write more sexetry or whatever, but it feels really embarrassing to sdghks i really like writing them too, but again !! it just feels embarrassing !! ;w;

my characters:

1. would you please tell me about your current favourite character? (current wip, post wip, never used, etc)

not to copy of kara dskjfs but i love my first (and my current) d&d chara !! her name is maeve umerie, and shes a drow wild magic sorcerer / (planned artillerist) artificer !! shes so packed full of trauma and self-harming behaviors and addictions that i dont even know where to start <33 (i promise i love her i would actually be so devastated if she died before i could give her a proper happy ending </3)

2. which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

i have this fantasy novel thought that ive floated in my head since maybe september-october of last year, and, in it, i have a character named levin hel, and AUGH hes just a sweetie :^( hes the son of a blacksmith-gunsmith duo who know a thing or two about magic, and is the apprentice to the son of the wizard who saved his life (who's name is nox, and he's an asshole ! but also i love him so much ;v;)

i need go go back to all my notes and stuff on it, bc i invested A LOT of time worldbuilding for it, but yea levin's a very kindhearted person, very much wanting to be like nox's father :'''^) </3

3. which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

i would absolutely hate to meet maeve mother. she's horribly self-serving and emotionally manipulative. she rules the house with an iron fist, and anything less than the best is worthless. she uses everything at her disposal to get what she wants, family or not.

4. tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

im ngl most if not all of my characters are just bits and pieces of me and my wants in different aus >_> .................................

5. do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

family and/or religious trauma mhm yep

6. how do you picture them? (as real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

for my fantasy wip, i imagine imaginary artwork, but for maeve, i have pieces i've drawn and pieces i've commissioned of her !! id love to someday get pieces of her family and other major characters in her past commissioned :>

my writing:

1. what's your reason for writing?

i will say that it's changed over the years. as a kid, and up until college, i've wanted to always be a story-teller. but, lately, i dont really have a reason for writing, other than to satisfy the thing that lives inside me that wants to write :^)

2. is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particular motivating coming from your readers?

knowing other people's reactions, getting to hear how something made them feel emotionally, or physically, or if there was a particular thought or memory that came to mind. i love knowing what people see, what my work makes people see, if anything.

that or if theres something, a word choice, or a line, that you thought was clever or struck you !!! i always love knowing people's thoughts !!!

3. how do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (for example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented world builder, as a role model, etc)

i want to be thought of just as another person, honestly. someone who had very human emotions, and did the only thing she knew how to do.

4. what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

uhhhhh im ngl i think this is also my greatest weakness but i have a tedium to my world-building, in that i need history-book-level details of my worlds or i will die (like i drew my own map. i drew a fucking map of an entire contiment)

5. what have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

yk,,,,, no ones given me a whole lot of specifics so im not sure,,,,,

6. how do you feel about your own writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret this question)

i said it before, but im pretty content at the moment with my poetry. though with prose, i think i could probably improve a bit sdgjksg

7. if you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

uh yeah !!!! i write and record voice memos in my journal fully knowing no one will ever read it or listen back right now as it is so !!!!

8. when you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it's a mix of the two, which holds most influence?

i gotta be honest, writing is a selfish act for me. i write because i want to, in ways that tickle my fancy dgkjds

it really is almost like an instinct for me

[orcelito]

I'm interested in Trigun after seeing your posts/reblogs and I'm wondering: what is the best way to consume such media and where could a person go about finding it? 🥰

oh FUCK yea

TLDR answer: trigun 98 -> badlands rumble -> trigun manga -> trigun stampede. going into why below. (under readmore bc this accidentally got long. again.)

ok well. common consensus is to watch the original anime (referred to as trigun 98 by much of the fandom) bc it has a slower start & lets you get to know the characters a lot more than the new anime (assisted by the 26 episodes length, as opposed to 12). it preserves the Mystery of what Vash's deal is for much longer, & is in general pretty entertaining to watch if you don't know wtf is going on. it's Legally on uh. crunchyroll? i think? tho i watched it here: https://aniwatch.to/trigun-266. just like. normal sketchy site safety, adblock is ur best friend, don't click on things. etc. if this site doesnt work for u then u could always google another.

there's a movie, Badlands Rumble, which is based off the trigun 98 canon, so probably a good place to watch it is right after that. just uh. be mindful that Vash's behavior is a Lil... obnoxious at points lol. but it's still a fun movie overall with plenty of good shit in it, so it's worth watching still. i watched it w/ a friend streaming it so i dont have a link onhand, but u could probs find it thru that same site if u search for it.

NEXT UP is my personal favorite, the manga. theres trigun original and trigun maximum, which is the direct continuation of the original (there was an issue with the publishers and licensing so upon continuing the manga w/ a different publisher, Nightow had to rebrand it. it's otherwise the same manga). i recommend this one next bc it's the most whole of story & goes deeper into things than the original anime, but it's also what the new anime is based on (aka why i recommend this one first). it can get FUCKED UP (they all can really, but trimax Especially) so probably look up a triggers list if u think u might need it. it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking good tho. genuinely owns my soul. i was a different person after reading it (not rly better or worse, mostly just more insane). there r a few translations online - an old fan translation (DO NOT TOUCH, full of horrid translations and insertions of bigotry that arent in the original), the official Dark Horse translation (an... ok translation, though it has plenty of errors and confusing translations. it's what i first read so it's Okay, but not the best), AND the trigun manga Overhaul project, which u can find on tumblr. this one's the best one bc it's lovingly translated and a LOT more accurately done. i swear things that were so confusing at first are So Clear reading this one. u can find the masterpost Here: https://trigun-manga-overhaul.tumblr.com/post/701392615591034880/trigun-ultimate-overhaul-masterpost-heres-all-the. or just go to their blog @/trigun-manga-overhaul. just trust me on this it's where U wanna read.

an offshoot of it (and what ive been reading today) is an anthology sort of manga, Trigun Multiple Bullets, which is also in that post. it was released as part of the BLR movie release, & the first part is kinda After It? but overall it's just a standalone piece with some side stories. where is this in the manga canon timeline? Who Fuckin Knows. just read it and have fun lol

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST is the most recent anime, Trigun Stampede. this is a CGI remake that aired at the start of this year & caused the trigun renaissance. now a lot of people have a knee-jerk negative reaction to hearing it's CGI, but trust me, this is basically THE BEST application of CGI in anime i've ever really seen. absolutely beautiful. fucking gorgeous. plus with really cool action sequences, and OF COURSE the music is literally one of my favorite anime soundtracks Ever. it's gotten critiques for its pacing, which can be pretty rushed, but they were trying to fit a lot more story in a lot less episodes than the original anime (again, it only has 12 episodes), so keep that in mind. it's not a remake in the traditional sense of redoing the exact same story, so there are changes in the timeline and characters from what's in the original anime or even the manga. one of the biggest things people were unhappy about is the absence of a main character, Milly, who is seemingly replaced by a random man that's not in the other versions, Roberto. Milly will be in season 2 though, as was revealed with the final episode. all in all, it's Kind Of a prequel, though also a remix/reimagining based largely off of the manga's canon over trigun 98. so long as you go into it not expecting it to be Just Like the other versions, it's a really wonderful story in and of itself. it's available on Crunchyroll, which you SHOULD watch there if u have it bc that would give them more money for a season 2 (which is in development). if ur like me tho n dont wanna pay for crunchyroll (it's Specifically a premium-only anime :p), u can watch it where i watched, aka here: https://aniwatch.to/trigun-stampede-18281.

all in all, each version has its strengths and weaknesses, but i've found the best way to go about enjoying All of them is to treat them as their own things. it can be fun to compare them, especially when it comes to things made Different plot or character-wise, but they are separate things. a lot of people who hate one or the other r coming from the angle of expecting one to be just like the other, & are then disappointed (trigun 98 being a Lot sillier at first than trigun stampede, which is a lot more serious sci-fi western in tone).

And Overall. i love them all. so i hope you do too!

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNING ALY I SHOT UP TO WRITE THIS THE MOMENT I SAW UR ANSWER AND I JUST. I WAS. YEAH I WAS LIKE YEAHHHHHHH YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH so anyway firstly HELP I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT "my cat is here as i write this she can explode too" PATCHES NO maybe yes like perhaps dont explode yet i would also like to know ur thoughts on xiao genshin impact before you do and i will allow it just get ur guts on the floor after ur honest answer patches

"NO BC i dont think ive seen full on infantilization of xiao (Yet.) but the thought of it just now esp w/ zhongli flooded dread through every ounce of my being dear Lord" i mean uhhhhh i Mean not gonna badmouth too much but there is Plenty of those fics and i definitely have my eyes unfortunately lay on age-regressing xiao but like. mentally. he acts like baby. i mean cool ok cool sure sure sure sure sure do what you enjoy of that typa familial interaction i respect u as i push it gently aside.

"zhongli Gets It zhongli knows whats up <333" yknow like THIS GETS ME SM its so important not just abt keeping them both in-character (at least in my perception of what canon is) its also. abt keeping their thoughts in line with it as realistically as possible. i think. i could go so far with how zhongli wud treat xiao with care and warmth and CAN address that sometimes,.. xiao can still be weak can still be the exact opposite of the hardened side he had been and while it does bring to the eventual guilt he feels like a child,.. like my good sir you didnt get to be a child before either. i think a little pampering is something u deserve (AND WHAT DOES PAMPER MEAN THAT DOESNT FEEL LIKE ZL IS BABYING HIM HONESTLYYYY cus in my view its just the former archon being indulgent but also treating xiao. as humanly as possible. as accordingly as what he needs. and xiao needs a Lot)

"said as if i dont put him in so many situations with So Much affection because i cant get the idea of him w/ the traveler specifically being very casually physically affectionate out of my head after seeing the way he holds onto them during that One cutscene" WELL I MEAN,... well i just eehhehehbvkfh though it does catch a lot of hearts especially in the beginning of liyue and iirc thats the second time xiao and lumine ever met in person at all. personally i dont see it that way then having that physical affection develop and have been staying like that in writing their development since (cus man am i so attached to the idea of an emotionally constipated/detached xiao so much that he doesnt just need guidance to overcome his conflicting worldview, but also to understand human emotion and how those two goes hand in hand).

"him being casually affectionate gets me so bad but him being touch repulsed or touch starved or both or him only really accepting physical contact of anytime in combat because thats just how it works or him feeling as though he doesnt deserve the affection" THAT OSIAL FIGHT SEQUENCE IN THE TOWER ASUNDER FIC WHERE XIAO AND LUMINE FIGHTS SO SEAMLESSLY that lumine chose him specifically not just bc of his battle prowess on short-range but his ability to stay mid-air and helping her stay mid-air. throwing her in all angles so every side of osial isnt left out as they both fought. their skills and techniques despite the years and worlds of difference melding in instantaneously after mere seconds of being introduced to each other feels like a form of affection itself in battle its so PERFECT I DIE OVERTHINKING ABT IT explodes explodes.

"i actually have partially written with him enjoying/accepting it from lumine but having no idea how to reciprocate in the slightest" yknow the bits of ideas i told u especially abt the xiao deadge brainrot and wings ask where they have a certain intimacy going on. well both of them are close to the end of lumine's journey hence an important kinda-resolution of how they think abt their relationship (brainrot) and after the journey ends (wings ask, post-teyvat). my interpretation of xiao reciprocating these affections that doesnt just center from lumine,..... its built up on that confusion and xiao hesitates a lot, but can become fully accepting once he understands it. like the times lumine would feel so torn about her brother directly (quests with dainsleif), or any circumstance that relates to him (aranara world quests with nara varuna) that she needs somekind of grounding and he KNOWS lumine herself does it in his own depressing moments so its like a 2+2 thing. what she does for him, he does it back, simple as that. it used to be a logical, but a little careless thought process without the genuine care, but soon enough the concern he had for her would match the gestures he does in turn.

i overanalyze dat shit and how xiao would act the way he does bc i do Not. like naur way NO WAY i dont rlly believe strongly he instantly cares and goes almost perfectly affectionate on the reason its for lumine and her only. thats a big problem with me and seeing xiao regarding attachments and im pree sure ive ranted that sht often enough here HAHAAKFJHSD ANYWAY I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!! man xiaolumi can get so specific to me sometimes and i love to explore this certain aspect of their relationship where they do grow to be close, but theres this?? invisible distance, somekind of barrier i cant explain between them especially when they conflict each other with their worldviews and understanding. and post-teyvat is where that barrier didnt really destroy between them, but enough that they can reach for each other. like yknow!!!!!! yknow,............. shniff

[also this is the most oot thing ever did u know i actually did drafted my asks before sending it to u on this doc so i can rmb what the fuck i was talking abt and how it relates to ur response and it happened like. prolly my second ask in the Very Beginning so anyway. the doc reached 59 pages 32k words probably more than i could ever write for my uni thesis light and love <333]

HIIIIIIIIIIIII HI HI HI BESTIE I HOPE UVE HAD A GOOD DAY AND THAT UR NIGHT IS AMAZING <33333333

no bc. bestie shannon and i (first of all shannon if ur seeing this thats ur official title now second of all context shan is the one who reads at least half of these asks/conversations which is still WILD to me) have been watching rwby together lately and patches is there Most Of The Time and every time she shows up i point her out and we'll ask her rwby questions...... and idk ur rwby knowledge if any but blake is a character who has a largely black and white color scheme and gold eyes and cat ears and patches has gold eyes and she's black and white so every time Blake Specifically shows up we'll go "patches what are your thoughts on rwby character blake belladonna" and it makes me giggle sm and from now on whenever she shows up when im writing or playing genshin i know Damn Well im gonna start saying "patches what are your thoughts on xiao genshin impact" and she will Stare At Me with her big patches eyes and say nothing. and i will nod understandingly and say Wise Words Patches. sorry its not even 10am i got so much sleep and yet i am Deliriously exhausted anyways

AGE REGRESSION IS SO. i have sm respect for it esp as like a genuine coping mechanism and i cant really speak on fics for it but the thought of xiao specifically as a character regressing is so ??? i get it in Theory but in Practice. you can not tell me that that man would a) do that voluntarily under any circumstance or b) trust ANYONE enough to tell them if he did it involuntarily. sometimes u just gotta write fics where you baby the fave and i look away from those in general out of personal preference but i am especially looking away from ones where its xiao i can Not see it i can not imagine it in any world <- lying a little bit because now that im thinking about it i can under very specific circumstances but NONE within which and none of which would lead to him being like actually genuinely infantilized in any way shape or form. it simply would not happen i cannot see any fics babying xiao as being in character for anyone involved in the slightest

"xiao can still be weak can still be the exact opposite of the hardened side he had been and while it does bring to the eventual guilt he feels like a child,.. like my good sir you didnt get to be a child before either" LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY king. king put down your weapon shed your armor let yourself Rest you were never allowed to do so before just allow it of yourself now trust the people around you to look after themselves and liyue and allow yourself to take care of yourself to maybe even be taken care of just a little bit. just a little. please. Please.

"cus in my view its just the former archon being indulgent but also treating xiao. as humanly as possible. as accordingly as what he needs. and xiao needs a Lot" naur dw i get it like there's a difference between like. okay how the Fuck do i word this. there's a difference between treating someone gently knowing their strength and capability and choosing to be soft regardless in a good, respectful way, VS flat out ignoring that persons capability and strength and treating them like glass and truly believing that they could shatter at any moment if thought of any differently. zhongli knows exactly who xiao is and what he's capable of, hes not about to forget any of that or cast it aside in order to act like xiao is this tiny, fragile thing. hes going to be well aware of it and still make the choice to be kind and gentle and accommodating, to try and give xiao some of the care and concern he's so rarely seen or known in his life. xiao can be cared for and maybe even pampered a little without it being weird or ooc or disrespectful or anything of the sort

"he doesnt just need guidance to overcome his conflicting worldview, but also to understand human emotion and how those two goes hand in hand" o(-( DIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no bc i genuinely love this so fucking bad especially just. the emphasis on his conflicting worldview and thinking about it and sajbdnamfnafgdsag. I JUYST WROTE LIKE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH but it was super fucking rambly in a way that made NO sense whatsoever so it is gone now goodbye </3 but god. yeah. Yeah.

"that lumine chose him specifically not just bc of his battle prowess on short-range but his ability to stay mid-air and helping her stay mid-air. throwing her in all angles so every side of osial isnt left out as they both fought. their skills and techniques despite the years and worlds of difference melding in instantaneously after mere seconds of being introduced to each other feels like a form of affection itself in battle its so PERFECT I DIE OVERTHINKING ABT IT" no bc this scene is the most important thing in the whole entire universe YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT IT FEELING LIKE A FORM OF AFFECTION ITSELF the way that they're able to just. to just. im. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM i cant even say anything the scene is Right There it speaks for itself you read it you Understand you get it. you get it. the fact that it happens So Quickly the immediate trust in battle the fact that they work so well together its just. and that had SUCH a huge influence on how i perceive them and how i write them, two very like-minded souls two people who've been through so much that no one else understands but who are able to find that understanding in each other, recognizing that the other has lived for millennia that the other has lost their closest family that the other has people they trust, people they care for, but still ends up isolated in so many ways. pasts and mindsets no one else could understand, seeing so much of themselves mirrored in the other. nothing exact but the similarities, the shared loneliness and hurt and deep buried longing, fuckidfngf. explodes. dies. ive already made a post about this im just repeating myself but man. MAN.

"the xiao deadge brainrot" DEADGE. FUCKIGN SOBBINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

this is the part where i got distracted and suddenly its 9pm instead of 9am and i am just now finishing answering this but also significantly more braindead adn it shows. um. anyways.

"its built up on that confusion and xiao hesitates a lot, but can become fully accepting once he understands it." BASED AS HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what she does for him he does back... "but soon enough the concern he had for her would match the gestures he does in turn." crying shaking bawling sobbing GODDDDDDDD yeah. Yeah.

"i love to explore this certain aspect of their relationship where they do grow to be close, but theres this?? invisible distance, somekind of barrier i cant explain between them especially when they conflict each other with their worldviews and understanding" mmmmm i Think i get this like i am way too braindead to try to put it into words but i think i understand.

THE DOC PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i literally need to write at LEAST that much for this freakigngnfkng xiaolumi fic <- said as if i am not actively procrastinating writing more for it. but man looking at my guide/plan doc thingy for it i am Praying. 30k feels like so much and such a stretch but i also will like sneeze and the next thing i know there are 5k more words on the page so maybe. Maybe. perhaps. hopefully. Please. maybe.

[belovedcherie]

I posted 498 times in 2022

That's 498 more posts than 2021!

94 posts created (19%)

404 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@luymani

@pcktknife

@tizzymcwizzy

@belovedcherie (lol its me)

@buggachat

I tagged 497 of my posts in 2022

#art - 137 posts

#reblog - 128 posts

#fav!!! - 101 posts

#cherie's chats - 69 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 64 posts

#project sekai - 56 posts

#cherie watches stuff! - 30 posts

#cherie's aesthetic - 21 posts

#spy x family - 20 posts

#splatoon - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if i had a penny for everytime we were worried bakugou died i'd have 2 pennies which isnt a lot but its concerning that it happened twice..

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

THAT TEASER IS GOING TO PUT ME IN A DAMN COMA

9 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

thoughts on multiplication

bc i need to scream about this SOMEWHERE. LIKE WOW. OKAY.

obviously spoilers are under the cut !!

tld;r: yelling abt adrien and WHAT ARE EVERYONES INTENTIONS??

ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE

yes im gonna yell about this first because adrienette holds my HEART YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME </3

ive been waiting for adrien to pin for marinette in canon for so long and season 3 def delivered with the little stares he was giving her BUT NOW THAT ITS FRFR HAPPENING?? HIS BLUSH WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER IN THE MORNING? HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TELL HER HOW SPECIAL SHE IS? SOBBING

okay but the fact that he probs tried to kiss her every. day. we only saw 3 sequences but if that montage happened over the span of several weeks..... i am swooning. i am in tears. shambles.

adrien had me KICKING MY FEET AND RUNNING LAPS OKAY I HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMESSDHFK

that being said before i write an essay on light of my life adrien lets talk abt,,,

reverse love square??

i love the idea of reverse love square bc adrien being a lovesick fool for marinette is my aesthetic but iM JUST HJDGSFSGKF BC OF THE TIMINGG

i was kinda hoping for some sudden rapid development today but im not complaining at all dw 🙏🏾 simp-drien is enough

the ladynoir moments are real cute tho :( them playing cards im cryingsdjhs

im excited to see the ship dynamic in the future episodes heheheh

GABRIEL. AGRESTE.

this man becomes more of a loser every episode what else is there to say

him digitalizing adrien.... funny... not funny haha...funny weird....

i hate when this guy gets smarter cuz he always has some wack trick up his sleeve 😔 but i wanna know more abt those weird siri rings

ALSO HOW DOES TOMOE PLAY IN THIS?? i think she knows hes hawkmoth but why is she helping him?? ik they were leading up to their partnership before so i guess we'll finally see why they were so secretive in the past!!

lie-la

i was gonna talk abt her in the gabriel point but this girl is so annoying she deserves one for herself

SHE GETS ON MY LAST NERVEEE

the genuine irritation i feel whenever i see her character on screen is actually funny

"ladybugs just a kid we need to forgive her ;(" GIRL I HOPE PARIS CAN FORGIVE U FOR THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED??

im sorry theres nothing productive to say abt her other than the fact that it seems shes going to play a bigger role this season (sadly) (but also yay cuz she brings the spice)

okay last point is abt felix

HELP WHEN HE APPEARED AT THE END 💀💀 THIS GUY WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME????

i hope and PRAY he treats dusuu well homegirls been going through it D:

WHAT. ARE. HIS. INTENTIONS.

See the full post

11 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#3

i saw miraculous was trending and i was like OMG IS THERE FINALLY A NEW SEASON 5 EP?? but it was just beau 😭

12 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

HI so um. back in 2020 kade made this meme thing and i dont think ive ever recovered from it bc I WAS SO TOUCHED LIKE 🙁 NOBODYS EVER MADE ME A MEME BEFORE

since we started talking again a month (+ a day bc i am late) ago i had the idea to make him one in return bc TALKING TO U MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND U DESERVE THE WORLD !!!

sooo here ya go @luymani ILYSM!! happy one month anniversary /p (that sounded way funnier in my head im so sorry LMAO)

13 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

thinking abt my son syaoran li ♡

See the full post

27 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fixielixie]

look i never thought when i first created a tumblr account back when i was like 13 that id ever reach the point where i would be sitting down to make a post on how a fictional character being a DomTop and indulging his partners noncon kink does /not/ somehow destroy his characterisation but here i am.

so the incense burner chapters... admittedly, i can understand why theyre not to everyones taste but ive seen some wild takes on how it "destroys lwjs characterisation and boils him down to a stereotypical top" and tbh i just wanna defend lwj.

as a disclaimer, i just wanna say that personally, i think porn is one of the hardest things to translate well. like porn is already so hard to write well in the first place, so having it go through a translator is always gonna change the quality. so i feel like we should all take that into account before we start the whole "mxtx cant write porn" shit, because maybe her porn slaps but we arent getting the full experience (if any chinese speakers out there who've read the incense burner chapters in chinese wanna correct me on that, feel free to do so).

okay so the first point i wanna hit is that wwx, in contrast to popular belief, had stated his interest in CNC before the incense burner chapters even happen (i would nearly say that him bringing it up might have influence lwjs subconscious in a way). in chapter 115, wwx has a clear fantasy of what he thinks rape play should be, and tries first to insinuate it with lwj. when lwj makes no interest in being the reciever here, wwx offers himself up to which lwj enthusiastically responds.

what this scene does is basically set up a roleplay scene between two consenting parties that they eventually follow through with. an almost foreshadowing of whats to come if you will.

then we have the first incense burner dream. here we see two different vision, wwxs domestic haven and then lwjs fantasy of him and wwx in the library. now, to be fair, lwjs dream is told in a lot of detail and if youre anyway uncomfortable with noncon at all, of course you would find this a very uncomfortable read. to wwx and lwj its just a fantasy, in the same way that when wx first had sex, wwx told him that he should have just forced himself on him in the first place. its clearly a concept wwx in particular thinks a lot about.

but my point here is that lan wangji fantasising about something like this doesnt destroy his character, for the direct narrative sequence it follows, it actually makes sense that he was fantasising about this. especially when so much of wangxians sex dynamic is wwx pushing and prodding at lwjs restraint until he snaps. its clearly a dynamic they both enjoy and eagerly participate in. anyone is perfectly within their right to not like these chapters, but it also probably means you dont like wangxians sex scenes in general considering nearly all of them hold a similar tone, just not as intensely as the ones in the incense burners.

in the second incense burner chapter with a young lan wangji and an older wei wuxian, you actually see wangxian doing the bare minimum of setting up a cnc scene. wwx teases a younger lwj, unsure if its his one of just a dream one like the pervious dream. he wakes up and finds out lwj was actually playing the role of his younger self. both of them with that knowledge enter the dream a second time and then we have the infamous bichen scene.

idk i just feel like people want to make these moments into something theyre not. personally i think wangxians bedroom dynamic fits them perfectly, gay men are allowed to like topping without it being some hidden hate crime. let wangxian do their cringey role play and be freaky. god bless.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Im about to finally watch that NC review of The Wall after watching a bunch of videos about it and Im just gonna put my thoughts during it in this post

Okay I just checked this review has 85k dislikes, 22k likes and 1.5 million views Im scared

I also havent watched actually watched The Wall btw, but I did watch Folding Ideas video if that helps

Oh god I really liked NC in like 2019 and even the beginning of 2020 and his greeting is giving me vietnam flashbacks

I hate Dougs voice already

Okay a bunch of shit is happening

Now theyre just showing clips from the original movie but as a horrible montage with fire edited over it

Dougs face makes me uncomcortable and I hate looking at it

Hes singing again goddamnit

Thank god, an ad

He stopped singing again thank god

What the fuck is that

I hate those giggles theyre awful

Why is Doug Walker a vampire

The costuming is straight up awful what is the budget on this

The cg is so bad and outdated why did they even bother

What are these dance moves

Theyre mentioning twitter now???

I just watched that 3 musical minute sequence and I have no idea what Doug is even trying to say

He spat out a bird? Huh??

What

Bro the animation is so bad

This would literally be completely incoherent without the on the nose lyrics

"So long Oscar-bait song/smoke a bong and it'll feel less wrong" bro what

I havent even watched the fucking movie and even I know hes missing the point, how did I ever think his reviews were good

I didnt not need to see Doug Walker wailing about being Jesus while shirtless in front of badly edited stockphoto water

What is that

His acting is so bad and I still hate his face

Im not even halfway through

I just wanna go back to working on my AU while watching actually good longform reviews

I cant even read the comments bc I wanna focus on the review itself I hate it here

This frame is very blue. I love the color, but its kinda out of place and was probably not done on purpose

What now

What

Why

I wanna commit crimes

Have I mentioned that I hate looking at Dougs face

That was, without exageration, the worst sponsor Ive ever seen

ITS NOT OVER???

I too call the people I am writing a love letter to whiny and pretentious

Oh god

What in the world

I didnt think it was possible but Dougs singing voice just got worse

Dude they drew on his head with like, marker or something and I can see it smudge

He got all these people and all these props and had these wholeass songs written but he couldnt even brush his fucking teeth before going on Youtube

Okay theyre doing a full on twitter song

What is this shit

This is the most boomer centrist thing I have ever seen in my life

What the fuck was that

The eye imagery going on is geniuienly very unsettling and kind of disorienting but I cant really appreciate it bc its just so bad

What is that

AND AD THANK GOD

Back to the bullshit

What is that

The greenscreen looks so bad

Only 11 minutes lets fucking gooooooo

Doug Walker standing in that hallway doing a power stance is my new sleep paralasis demon

Dude what are they even doing

What is that squirrel thing on this random guys counter

I dont understand whats going on

What in the world is that furry nightmare squirrel in the studio

Why is the edgy cowboy furry OC lecturing me about The Arts

I legimately cant understand most of the words being said and I have no idea if its because my brain has been fried or because they just went with the first take of every line

This part of the review is usually praised as "the best part" so Im both intrigued and really scared

Oh god its another furry OC

Okay I actually quite like the design of the grey furry with the big hat and six arms I just really hate the way he moves, I think it would look better as a static model or preferably a 2d drawing

Another Ad!

I also like the black one with the white horns and red accents

Okay what the fuck is that

I mean the one with the way too many antlers is a bit better than the one before it but it looks like the designer kinda gave up at this point

This feels like an acid trip but in the worst way

I think this is the first thing Ive seen that had a dragon in it, that didnt make it better at all

I mean. i guess this is very impressive but why

I feel like every single voice actor for these creatures recorded the lyrics with a completely different mic

Hey, what the fuck

Well this sure is all happening

What

"Well, the movie ended on such an open vagueness that it only makes sense the the review end on such an open vagueness" hey fuckface, thats not how reviews work

Thank you musician guy who had no lines up until now (I think his name was Corey??)

All of this bullshit and for WHAT

Theyre singing the spongebob squarepants theme song

These 30 seconds where the most I enjoyed myself consecutively during this entire 40 minute video

I dont know how, but Doug Walker somehow manages to stay unlikeable even while hes shouting out a charity that probably does wonderful work

In conclusion, there is a total of 5 Things I Enjoyed in this 40 minute review:

That gray furry with the hat and six arms

That black furry with the horns and red accents and eyes

The shade of blue during that one very blue shot

The spongebob squarepants theme

Apparently Griff Taylor (the son of the musician guy, Corey Taylor) is a fan of NC for some reason and his dad pretty much did this for him, and I can appreciate that on some level

[lesbianbernardsumner]

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e10 Live Blog

“Justice Under Siege”

ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic

ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY

lets try that again ok

AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t

This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff

OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST

Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO

Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD

WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G

AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that

“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING

OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn

oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H  A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????

ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN 

YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE  WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY  and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???

Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool 

[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH

CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.

Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD

im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs

This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.

Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.

Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?

Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.

He smak the table

He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.

Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you

Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did

WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING

GAROU

YOU

ARE  

AMAZING SON

like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.

NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.

This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[mrfutureboy]

Favourite avengers movies scenes? Favourite iron man movies scenes?

hi there! i’m sorry this took so long it’s always so hard to pick faves! thank you for coming by

Avengers:-when ac/dc starts playing on the quinjet nat’s piloting and we hear tony go “you miss me?”-steve beating the shit out of that bag-the shawerma credit scene (i still dont know how to spell that like ive seen the common spelling of shawarma but theres a restaurant on campus that has it spelled with the e and i just dont know bc autocorrect always puts the red line)-the fight scene between thor tony and steve-this isnt a scene but the low angle shot of thor when all the avengers are arguing by the scepter when he says “you humans are so petty…and tiny”-the 12% scene with pepper and tony-”so thats what it does”-i love but hate “son, just don’t”-the scene with loki in germany (i think) and he’s forcing everyone to kneel and that one man stands up and loki’s like “theres no man like me” and the dude’s like “there are always men like you”-the scene where natasha SCAMS the plan out of loki-ok this doesnt “”count”” but the blooper where mark ruffalo’s like “you guys are on your own!” and runs away-”that man is playing galaga! thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did!”-also [SPOILERS] rip-that whole scene with tony out there is Good-”how does fury see these things?” “he turns”    “when did you become an expert in theoretical astrophysics?” “last night”-when tony’s trying to find out what bruce’s secret is to being calm-also i lowkey love the scene between nat and bruce when she’s recruiting him, tho i hate that joss took that and was like “romance?”

Age of Ultron:-I didn’t like aou so this is gonna be short-the scene where everyone is trying to lift the hammer is THE BEST SHIT joss whedon’s ever done for me-when tony calls clint’s kids “smaller agents”-when steve and nat are talking about “where else am i gonna get a view like this”-steve thor and tony talking about putting mjolnir in an elevator, and the way steve says “elevator’s not worthy”-everybody just looked really good in this movie I know that’s not a scene but it’s the only reason I ever think about watching aou again

Iron Man:-”next time, you ride with me”-that whole SCENE when rhodey finds tony like gahhhh my heart-speaking of these two, when theyre drunk on the plane and there are literally strippers right in front of them but they’re not even paying attention to them-the reunion between tony and pepper too like “tears for your long lost boss?”-THIS MOVIE is where rdj starts that sniffle thing that tony does and that means a lot to me-the scene where tony’s reading a newspaper and pepper’s getting him ready and he starts talking about “if i had a girlfriend”-the scene in the fun-vee before it all goes to shit and theyre just taking selfies-the scene with yinsen dying is heartbreaking bc he had said to tony earlier that he was going to see his family, but yinsen dies and we realize that yinsen’s family’s DEAD and so him dying was the PLAN-the whole thing with yinsen having met tony before becomes more heartbreaking after actually seeing their meeting in im3 even tho it wasnt a super like, emotional moment in 1999. it just made it more concrete i guess-edit i came back to add this i cant believe that i forgot to mention the FACT that pepper saved tony’s ass? like SHE’S the one who found out about what obadiah was doing!!-also the scene when he and tony are fighting and tony flies him wayyy high into the atmosphere and is like “so how’d you fix the ice problem?” and then obie’s like huh? and then he’s fucking plummeting back down to earth

Iron Man 2:-when tony’s complaining that this was his first vacation in years-when he buys the box of strawberries (which pepper’s allergic to BIG RIP) and the dude’s like “r u iron man” and tony’s like “sometimes” and drives off-”sir i’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut”-”i dont wanna join your super secret boyband”-that whole scene in the donut shop w nick and nat and tony means a lot-”you cant afford me”-okay yeah that scene where theyre talking about the avengers initiative, and how they want iron man but not tony stark bc it breaks my tony-stanning heart-when natasha (”natalie”) kicks the shit out happy no offense that was my kink, especially after that comment about booty camp or w/e he said -the fight between tony and rhodey-tony’s drunk ass in the iron man suit throwing what he believes is his last fucking birthday party-not a scene but tony’s leather jacket-stark expo entrance

Iron Man 3:-um the whole movie? i love im3-the whole fucking sequence when tony’s testing out the mark 42′s call-ability, and he’s listening to christmas music and dancing-i just reblogged a post about this but WHEN PEPPER’S SIFTING THROUGH THE DRAWINGS THAT TONY’S GOTTEN FROM KIDS BC THATS PURE-speaking of kids, “i loved you in “A Christmas Story”.”-this isnt a scene but his relationship with Harley-actually! the deleted scene where he resuscitates him with the arc reactor-”hey, remember what i told you about bullies?” and then harley tasers the shit out of that bald guy-the scene where tony visits happy in the hospital and tells the nurse to keep downtown abbey on bc happy thinks its elegant-when pepper rocks killian’s shit at the end-rhodey rocking killian’s shit earlier in the film-rhodey and tony going out to lunch together-GARY-when tony has an anxiety attack while on the phone with harley and tony’s like “idk what im gonna do” and harleys like well youre a mechanic why dont you just build something? and the way tony stops and the camera kinda zooms in cuz dammit this kid’s right-the following scene where tonys gathering shit from like Home Depot and then building his shit-and then the scene where he’s fucking DOING THAT to all those baddies

Infinity War: (spoilers under cut!) This movie counts, right?

-not a scene but i need to say it: thor is the STRONGEST AVENGER-when they asked “who do u serve” and peter quill’s like “what am i supposed to say, jesus???”-”i am groot” “I am steve rogers”-the scene where we first see tony use his armor bc listen that armor is my KIIINK-i really liked the whole sequence with thor and rocket on…i cant remember what planet it was…but when they were having the axe built by eitri (ok i just looked up his name bc i didnt remember it) and the fucking thing closed and thor was like “i’ll just hold it open” but eitri was like “you’ll be taking the full force from a STAR you’ll DIE” but thor fucking DID THAT. “hulk is the strongest avenger” who?-speaking of, when bruce hugged tony. important.-the scene where tony’s telling pepper he had a really realistic dream that they had a baby, PAIRED WITH when tony’s on the phone with pepper as he going up into space and it cuts out as she’s saying “I’m–” !! My pepperony-stanning heart FELT THAT!! tho i didn’t like the name he said they used tho tbh i dont even remember what it was i just remember not liking it-the scene with bruce and shuri and vision and shuri’s like “well why didnt you do [science]” and bruce was like “cuz we didnt…think of that?” and shuri was like “well i’m sure you tried your best”-WHEN BRUCE ASKS RHODEY IF THEY SHOULD BOW AND RHODEY’S LIKE “YEAH DUDE HE’S A KING” AND THEN BRUCE BOWS AND RHODEY’S LIKE “DUDE WHAT’RE YOU DOING” AND T’CHALLA SAYS “WE DONT DO THAT HERE” AND RHODEY LAUGHS RB IF YOU AGREE-the whole “where’s gamora?” “who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?” scene aka when the guardians meet the avengers (well like 3 of them)-the faces tony makes when interacting with the guardians lol like when mantis says “kick names, take ass” and he just stares at the camera like holy shit

[turuses-blog]

Mute pt.

Alternative Lit Johnathan Edward Barrett Urbalonis

Copyright 2019

ALTERNATIVE LIT

trippy wisdom given to words

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WRITINGS

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deadly nightshade on a rose

Posted by barrett on June 6, 2014 at 10:45 AM

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scantily wrought fences of just-turned-deep-red, read rights of leverage to the thorns that there wrest. a rustling of feather for the wind against the salut bricken brack, which if these were to wilt, still wouldn't form sullen vest. all now investing in a business, a night-lock to guard off spiders who trample on silk, like - sort of a call to arms on a coat of thread, which thick twisty greens would not abed. a cast of action in the worn breeze, easy to impress, though, just a lacklustre show all around makes it a deathly thing to fall in paro. lost in the lake a boy with tong hands serrates, bliss and wouldn't miss arrive a lucid parliament that fate the dice at its gate.

when the phone ran

Posted by barrett on June 6, 2014 at 10:15 AM

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we aren't: part - parted - to depart upon our hearts' fair compartment. an apartment view with a lockpick, key to rampint desertion of a lip of rearrangement notice. 'preferred - our - hour to post pardon the ploxick (several metallic solid flats on a ring that doesn't rust), twice- denote sick out of slang or of a toxic; ways to find chalk kick. alter fast cerebral mask... the what? the ears... twice had; listening to a ploxick till the connotation rang with just the jittery sound. and sometime some laugh at otto and homer when the phone rang.

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bell jar 1

Posted by barrett on June 3, 2014 at 6:00 PM

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awaking to the time 3:30. coldfront and bird chirps. lake breeze and talk about trees. maslow's heirarchy of needs - be - monolithic i'm deed, as those: astute; finger cramp tailor's can produce. but isn't that the perfect fit? when will it be nostalgic to wear something else.

perplexity

Posted by barrett on May 31, 2014 at 2:30 PM

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arriving concave, jostled by a fir tree, the hammocked backend of the real mirror in use began accompany.

as far as we know, trees are very hard to knock down, though we can sleep in a tent or hammock, and understand it. horizontally?

perplexity

Posted by barrett on May 31, 2014 at 2:30 PM

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arriving concave, jostled by a fir tree, the hammocked backend of the real mirror in use began accompany.

as far as we know, trees are very hard to knock down, though we can sleep in a tent or hammock, and understand it. horizontally?

tailored sheen

Posted by barrett on May 31, 2014 at 1:30 PM

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a brilliant, orthodox woman. with strings of galaxies plummetting from her natural sombrero. like 'what would she wear. 'though incomplete, she dances probably with steep falls inbetween elite things that remind me of a sombrero. a cadillidac convertor tattooed on her favorite shirt. this is not too real. insofar as i describe her she merits tangible relapses into beauty. knowing most things about her would require a chair. and chairs or no chairs, sombrero and insofar as sombrero, tangible relaptic strings of galaxies which i add insofar as it lasts for however long. however.

cosmeriment

Posted by barrett on May 31, 2014 at 1:25 PM

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every other, insofar as both, as construed, are or our lover. where the sinking sand is truth. now and then, insofar as false, one or two, remain constrained to a patch, a field, a cyclic ameobic dealing with the ineptitude of love. are or our love? which lasts longer. like 'also-' witch lasts longer. which are witch our lover love stoop.

from a binocular a bird follows then insofar as takes flight.

isn't this where the magical birds come from?

and

Posted by barrett on May 24, 2014 at 5:45 PM

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             it was unpleasant. the whole ordeal. i made toast earlier and it seems to have disappeared. the toaster was not out. where, most importantly when. ive been up for about an hour and a half. what have i done other than toast bread... just then L walks in the door. he told me about the toast i ate in front of him. was that a crumb on his chin.. he told me how i walked, almost sleeping, back to bed, with the intent, to toast more... it was then, L said, lets have a toast. couldve meant like four things... he cant be trusted. L raised a peice of bread and there appeared around me many guests at and around the table, though on the other side of the toaster... I dont know why i wasnt scared, I was too hungry. Then I disappeared.

passin me by

Posted by barrett on May 24, 2014 at 5:35 PM

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they say i say the lottery is passing me by. one way, this way im on a road with no tombstone around to wave hi. the day of which and when, though its passable at convenience, is off road and tangible through a womb a wreckage and decay. i said , decaying with Gods children was building a rhythm... now artifacts of cars and syntax hold me to a sky of disdain. reclaiming an idle position is hard at times, on this road to ala coaster, spring flout letter intendency i unreign for something ever after, rest in peace harold raimes, and anyone gone on the way around the desert. it seems surprisingly small, perhaps the tombstones lay in the sand hazards.

passin me by.

a rule not a thumb

passin me by

a thumb not a rule

passin me by

whys everything sought after after

passin me by

a highways a noose before its strung into fibres.

untitled

Posted by barrett on May 20, 2014 at 1:00 AM

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a relic gifted in stone, found, dethrowned from the wall. embedded in a stone. rhythmic licensure of a chisel might fit it enough to bring it home. as i said... prone focus, a 'fast' fastening to a thread. spanning it bears the color red, a ruby. from the look of it, i'd say its dead meet.

quintessential byproduction is a growing field, i think.

typecast publishers boycott surmounting headlines; too many cases of rigormortis,

and that still doesnt hold flame like the fresh stake on the sill...

thin

Posted by barrett on May 19, 2014 at 4:40 PM

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a caterpillar hangout to the hummingbird in the morning. over toast passing french. graduation hat vertical complex, duo original animations that string out like a sandstorm. crystal yet elements of partake, abashed with no duration. all form unified specifications for a distraught mot liason. original favouring tricyclic milk glasses. 'like strawberry flavour, is going to keep me wrapt with this newspaper. 'back when paper was new, sort of sorting of the stork's occasion, to see inert pegs, cut, paste on.

inaudible recordings of select indivisions

Posted by barrett on May 19, 2014 at 2:25 PM

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If it occured to anyone, it has ownership of value, if value is sought in activity. any valued thought allows vocation or hitherto spirited activity. but of what value can the same thought be?

in allegiance, it may be necessary to rekindle the same thought, even though it is counter-intuitive. its actually used in that fashion of malcontent, accruing a different vocation. this is where value becomes spent.

"i never said i loved you. your heart of malcontent was spent on my breaks."

tifa lockhart

Posted by barrett on May 19, 2014 at 2:00 PM

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believe that i can fly. in a world

i see before me laying down the

sky, in a precautious sort of learning.

believe that these can.

whatever they are for others too

hold hands, built to ravish clouds

just testing what wear

hair lengths,

i would like to fly longer

what if i pair with

a parrot

a loch ness monster

a pidgeon

a mobster

'belie dat

thats how it started,

for all these lines, and time is ownlay: carving

the root of what i see,

come follow me, to aesop and sega genesis

where apparel costs the prophet

a glance, with which a slippet can defeat the solace

now ive truly expounded.

"i imagine sloppy seed handling."

the image is like a mirror

the listening skills of a mirror form partial glances to belie the harvest

where?

believe that these can

you'll forget it or knot

this lillie is prime place and principle

ooh look what mom bought

now im caught between a rose and a stout...

wait a second,

white paint

Posted by barrett on May 14, 2014 at 9:00 PM

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breaking buildings of trust, epithet lustrous. I want an effigy to read me. lost stuff, pleads 'be'. in a land full of happiness lived a friendly octopus, who need-be tangled up with rustic 'font', little does this octopus know of where its stowed, or going, though he felt snow on top of a boat about a week ago. oh, and between me thumbs, sorry for the wait, and whatever, though I also love my metaphors intact as tressels can become.

only breaking a building.

if it weren't for the antipathy of an occasive injury supplanted by porridge-wrought inert-asive-ship, this belittled sea creature could create a censure wherever it was plait. no more, no more.

the shore broke the sand.

at last stands a villa of domicilia, and like cilia the people tangle through the festivities.

life and the eternal eclipse of finding, part two

Posted by barrett on May 14, 2014 at 7:45 PM

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"everything should just be this way." said gypsum and led them to a sunken cavern hollow where it was dark. "if we light any fire we shall be blinded by the reflections of the treasure over the treasure. its best we hollow out the treasure in sequence to get it all out." and so they did.

it was high time they made back with the treasure, but no one wanted treasure anymore, except them. luckily every home in the village had a little treasure. yet to be, was the equal or lesser want of treasure. they had flat discs of metal, and cuttings of stone, shaped weapons of a different metal, and jewellery of all types. bailey didn't even want his horse back.

here we see what a geologist does

life and the eternal eclipse of finding, part one

Posted by barrett on May 14, 2014 at 7:05 PM

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"in a far off place, there are treasures" gypsum said, "I can take you there, to them, if the price is right."

"if the price is right, then." Hamlin said.

gypsum held back his horse which was drawing closer from the stable, alongside bailey. "the only problem is that they are guarded by the utmost, wickedest creature known to man, yet not creatures." gypsum got on the horse.

Hamlin stunted his smile and asked the valiant-assuming, postured knight what he meant.

"it is guarded by treasure."

in this tale we see the characters distraught.

a starlit necessary

Posted by barrett on May 14, 2014 at 6:55 PM

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blanket starch bold allegiance to the thrown of two for the basket. cloth never reminded me so much of eggshell, said with a mist of chalk or something. no doubt today would flout the risking of a pantomime. by very well boisterous rising of swells that dawn allegedlldy fell. somewhere else. a felt tip drags, and some mothers cry.

sweeping a ray in nightly tide, venomous uncouth hand holding that say to the nightingale across the shore: fly by! if its up to pigment to gain the moon, neither could tell, but a bright lightning light, storms her deep memory of perchance and wail and wait and why.

the arrow fur of a tonic hold deep aghast, cast sheep on the clouds that peeve and prance whisking away the tide. trial neatly folded the blanket is now set. ready for everything, yet, not in a young sort of way. asking, where is this place, and where are we off to mixes backwards and time, slightly grazes her arm and they beg to ask why.

the moon held an old coat from her closet the lake or river, or both, made a inaudible concert the blanket lay in pieces.

the next day sprung, like no one had been there, save a patch of flattened earth, the size of about two people, those that truly are due.

,hard to see fit, a reminisce, acquiesced by either while they choke on fever, under blankets so warm inside or out waiting for the sun, for no reason.

diatribe

Posted by barrett on May 14, 2014 at 5:50 PM

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it was around the ninth that a segment of the show aired in the middle of a stream of commercials. it was hailed as the only thing to look for afterwards.

bob sprocket came into work with a ticket for his leave, unknowingly, being the only member of his team to have caught a fixed the glitch

anyway, on the twelvth they had it savvy, worked like an extra suspension cable to the workings of a television show and anchored the commercial representativity to a glistening extreme.

on the thirteenth they aired a fake commercial for 'sprocket cleanser,' a little too much like a commercial. somewhere else they thought of making the product.

bob sprocket oriented himself in the lunch room before nine oclock on the fifteenth, when he noticed his picture was on the television, him from when he started working at the small initiate of office. he took his leave the following day.

things got a little messy.

«

clothes

Posted by barrett on May 6, 2014 at 3:45 PM

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three thousand years ago, and now before, a something like a sentient building will cast existence flames like sewing a curtain. a rif in the time continuum. without knowledge of us it shall pick up where it left off and we`ll be held in trust. it happens all the time, mayybe. maybe just the sound distinguishing remarks of a plot punctured. surfers these days should know all about, but it seems like they don`t.

if it were to ever happen, its most likely to be ferretted into convenient thought of a more widespread diaspora and be hassled into notation, being the differennce between now and then solely; whether it provides either way is categorically imperative and no stress we could come up with in physics could partake in its mysterious intuition.

nevermind

Posted by barrett on April 21, 2014 at 1:35 PM

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a rare breed of dog called the foglace has been meritoriously attributed to the southern hemisphere of the continent of the americas. Deep in the subtropical jungles of eastern peru there was found several packs of this breed. the foglace is of a predictable discretion, though with mild anterior bends on the ears; a large patch of black on the stomach & a lime orange tinge coating it in lacey fur. the dog hunts at twilight for prey like lemurs and muscrats, never consuming them whole, especially at first take.

the breed has recently travelled up to the tip of the panamalian canal's south side, where it inveritably waits for passage. it is being debated whether or not the dog should be introduced to a broader, dryer cllimate, as invariably breedds shall mix.

thus brings me to the account of one Peter Jogstone, a breeder of dogs and kennel keeper in at least three states. he attained a sample of the dogs hair and immediately orderred one.. two very profound events, one merit, one surmount. to his lliking he now has one male foglace. in the summer of last year he travelled to alaska with it, which he called dawson.

missing

Posted by barrett on April 21, 2014 at 4:45 AM

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course of these whimsy feverish lips and

towards you, feel restrained with locks; this feeble

attempt of garullous youthful tolerance

fills me with thee revolt of people's keep-all

circunscription where the laughter is fake.

Though a laugh shared between there and here is,

partly made practical by the weery stakes

the enamorred with whichever might kiss.

attentive recourse in all but just that

can extinguish a messy happenning

and to you i say this is just a flat

surface of thorns to call a bed again

ageless prospective atrocious kissing

versus the time it was fun to do so (

art

Posted by barrett on April 21, 2014 at 4:25 AM

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he has grace together that cares so

a caress from his hand could score wax

an utterable countenace with arrows

often marked as woman, though more man.

'at leisure he spotted yes and no

and decided to drop anchor,

with a pull string on his ward so

he let the talk come from the pure

help wanted

Posted by barrett on April 21, 2014 at 4:10 AM

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a frightening evening is all she could recall, and on this very night it started - to the extent of her interpolation - with the same few odd quirks. its funny, her and betty always seemed to dote on myla's quirks, it seemed indifferent till about two weeks ago and tonite. the two in likely sweep from work to granite street where they part ways was wayward and elongated by the extra two hours they had to put in. as i was saying, the moon shined a yellow pallor and seemed to move the clouds like curtains. sometimes they would look up and see nothing. their talk was hurried and just short ofpanic in the late evening hour where no cars would pass by and the hedges creeped. as a tactful glance into the structure of their conversation which i waiting for myla's arrival made out afterwards, was that they seemed to be coming back to the same topic of what it is like to walk by a cemetery. myla and betty ended up at granite street safely and parted. myla told me she heard betty's dog a lot sooner than usual and that it made her feel diffident - the term she used.

For the next week she remained diffident in all bodice and color; her movements, her appraisal, her reprize all diffident. i started seeing her in a new light, like she was getting over something, or for the most part, was over something.

naughts

Posted by barrett on April 20, 2014 at 8:35 PM

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a net silence of glossy colored sheets flared up with the coffee. he gave them a look and removed the green one. 'ah a sensation' he gloated. 'for that green coated slip was mean, no more meandering at the bottom of the chain. he put it on top of the manilla. already virtuoso reptilian, though flushed emerald in the light from beside the computer.

the office lights werent on, he was last to leave already, and on the sidewalk -manilla / green flanking his right side.

the next day the reverse was put on Chimey's desk and he waited for the slips to come in again, both. the coffee... nothing... the lights... nothing, it seems he'd be fired, so he looked back to the clock. time was ticking by.

the coffee, the lights.

the coffee, the lights.

the coffee, the lights.

at home on saturday he received a green phone call. "too much manilla"

the coffee, the letterhead gold, the lights, the reflection, the phone call, the fine, the workers, the elevator, the ruby red, the address, the plot thickens, the coffee colored manilla, the entropy

fixed glossy coatings

orange corner

blank white by the hundred,

pink slips

no color up the sleeves on the way out the manager said, and so he never left that white letterhead.

paste and clips

all or nothing

a black sheet of paper tacked to the wall, only. validity. special reproach to candor manifestly opaque in difference, just a different outcome, where the colors' colors shine bright. black

afficiency

Posted by barrett on April 20, 2014 at 3:30 PM

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"only a villain so fantastic could have plotted something like this" the curtains were spread apart and light shined down on the muddy boot, alone, next to the eyeing jazz fiend. "i mean, theres no connection between this jazzman and anyone within ten miles. though there are a few laniards from a nearby festival held within a week of today everyear."

"how jolly"

"except he won't be at this festival, because he's dead."

"what! are you sure he isn't just creating jazz music...?"

"he might be, in jazz heaven..."

the scene was pretty dolled up. candles found their way onto open offering surfaces and a vinyl record player lay agape on the endtable across the floor.

"it seems he was entertaining."

"wait he's coming to."

the jazz man's grasp of the saxophone gave way and slid a little on the hardwood floor.

"no, just a reproof. hes dead. he won't be at the festival, it seems the murder was done by jazz itself, cuz no man can control it."

"he was good though." aaron said

"a little too good maybe." delroy said

"why don't we play the record and recreate the scene?"

"not till the jazzman is gone."

the grave words.

Occasive Down-end

Posted by barrett on April 17, 2014 at 7:35 PM

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             drowning in a sea of silk, a lightning strikes! and turns it to felt. 'Whatever happened to the simpler days, was never so complex. and often on a podium right next to the studio you can see the next. But blaintant rampint chronologies of force (touring) can only make sport for less-subdued blood, banishing the trudge of mud.

then we climb out, nails to the brink, time is stout, fail to think, just get yourself out, trails on brinks.

When did we have to say things like "thanks for the bargain." that really means something to me,

dare we fold an iris and seeth rew totalled and friendly to the scent of focus?

tending sticks for walking till repition

a blank face on a boat with a storm with a smile. either i'll paddle backwards or reginald will while i forth.

occasive buoyancy

Posted by barrett on April 17, 2014 at 7:25 PM

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in light of the spectrum, pixels animated readdress fulcrum. though like certain applications suggest it may act upon another axis. in light of this question i shall observe glasses and try to see through the seams of nature, conjugated. in light of hindsight i'd say there has been a lot of light shed on the subject. and in light im all opaque and with-feature. in light balance of statement, theory, plan, musing and what id like to call 'entropy', i feel all masked and ashamed in the dark and empty, wanting to talk about shells and repositioning my feet. first i will look up entropy, and tie it in:

done and done

the deaf ears for crazy

Posted by barrett on April 16, 2014 at 4:40 AM

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Crazy, the word, is a professed lazy assailant of one's marker. The strongest argument made by the latest philosopher's is a discontinuity between perception and reality. Imagine hearing the sound of a straw falling in a glass of water. Maybe to bite off more than one can chew is crazy, precept reside. Spanning the tromp de l'oeil of almost ritualized perceptive artifices, none stand out more than the one's with visual scrutiny. To think something can also be otherwise is otherwise is what? a charged antinomy and a lock? No matter how hard people try to agree there's no snug or perfect syncronizattion... So maybe some are crazy, but amongst themselves if the word holds  true, there should be some syncronization.

beck at it

Posted by barrett on April 16, 2014 at 4:30 AM

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dusty vinyl records, stayin that way cause collections. people with vinyl are a grouping, theyve extended function to quality with respects to guessing. ritual also endorses the use of vinyl, many disc jockies know it too well, enough to have concerts out ofone and two vinyl players.

when vinyl records first came out it was precarious and resplendent. listening to music was more of an activity, probably based soley on the movement of people. today music is easier to access and control. so why are there people playing vinyl?

The only plausible answer is, that they haven't pirated any music and their music is all or mostly on the records they spin.

to be continued

eye care

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 6:45 PM

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an interogation of whats on hand, warrant received amidst a desperate man. Check everything. they would like to wouldn't. a round off of bullet, several cut carrots on a wood plate.

pate...

hasty taken provided liquid crystal displayed moments later he checked the fridge. (this is where it all comes in)

he found a note, right above the bag of carrots: eat carrots

Cast Cupid

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 6:40 PM

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Practical alignments' gathered feathers fettered... shuffle tilt rust recalls.

An inumeralbe immunity of pox of letters... that suffice to say it's fall.

Why this distance mistakes birds' calls for getting recon.

As whitening cold abound so thin and transparent on heat.

Pleating desperation for a new tomorrow in calm promise,

With the striking features of some meet.

Tawdry desolation, may only,

Set astray an artisan of lonely.

Tense spindle of four or five few,

Twisted indiscretely conjunctionally till they enter you,

terrace

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 6:30 PM

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a green multitude of limb. ballast-taut structures of evident. picturesque people tend, around, and then again. rearranged possessive systemic trust in needles, pinch professionals of those akin. the swarming fever of a harlequin full of attention span.

a full form tropical delay of all my whims, brought about somehow, someway. what isn't this is this and thinning, to say... dimensional recast of a forbeared stay.

it made light with words and circled thin. arrested polish of those who dine, made clockwise for all ive got to say, though pining spinning these warn of May.

taken with salt... soup,

taken with soup... relaxed

brittle piece of work

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 5:05 PM

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a red violet

glow 'doth\ braun

civil, patience...

burning turning stern,

a license to jot,

in ink violence - too fond

of ornament, of nature, of system, of pleasure

where the earth will turn

flattery battery battery

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 3:40 PM

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lithium, some nirvana. held, swallowed. expelled. talon, large... the one that shoves the real. i thought a while ago that there was a way into the next life, but tomorrow never dies. lastnight, for real though, i thought twice that a character prepared of orature would be cool if suffice, Tomorrow Night. for the night i will leave an anvil untattered, though hip hop orchestrated may make troublesome lore, where incumbrant echoing one hundred i'll attend the maze until the very last turn. now stop and turn a hundred. this aint nirvana, this is an egalitarian discotech of promotion negotiating with peaceful subjects aimed at warm heaters. madness, genius, unreal, and phallus, deducting proclivities to sunshine in an ordinary fashion, though i can hear the tarnished remarks of proctoring and gamble with the walks withini, theres never really an ending till all the sleeves are offering. so for now at the age of April, i'll wonder why it snowed today and remember that theres more snow cauterring "in utero".

tifa lockhart

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 3:15 PM

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a beautiful woman is a lot like a daffodil i said,

prove it. but flower's can't talk

i walked in the sand.

stood and offered my nose to her hand.

i tear apart a three of hearts

with no one to pick up the dirt.

its funny cuz sometimes what doest really work.

format:

welcome,

you learn conforming?

boring sentence structure detouring,

near of from, far or going.

and then a reciprocal gem of what is storing.

everything has a shell, called it!

then i ben over and fetched the wallet.

this should never leave my pocket

and in there, that there sprocket...

'the one that whimsy did' chained to a lockett

her picture perfect perfunct predetermined nature harkened

a litre in the same vain.

but it never really functioned until several finaciers arranging warped echoes

alotted themselves in walking,

so far gone, like the porridge, watch i proctor

and any official statement made by me can unsort this calcium deficient closet.

watching, to: spying. too much wall within the place.

say what is gone is now encased and shows vace

tu ne say quoi

a patrol of indecency arriving in tangents, to memory banks tthrough half handstands... 'grandslams, tame fam ran high hope tanned plans sans france bandstand land spans. and what comes off in one pluck is enough to offer eleven more words but they seem to have fell off the truck

duck duck goosed by givance and gators

pray tell negligee erased to find humour

and now i craft like one undone, too modest for malice in narrative mindsets to add fluence.

cantankerous plots of land i summon thee, question this dell and stream.

"don't pester us, pester flatter, this only flatters me."

cuz he got to talk

running through a jazz lucidity crises, mistaking real gold for fool's gold. i think...

pieceless puzzles lying on their stomaches chow down. (it was from off the cylinder)

i totally correct my vision.

"the sun rose" from lord of the rings, now that's time froze.

bashful beauty

too.

this lily has been so out of seems. i could

i tear apart a three of hearts

Posted by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 2:55 PM

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             someone sent her. i know it now. though these cards split apart. inside theres some sort of notoriety. in this decadent sobriety she says hi to me. where and when... can they go wrong? a right of thought. shes played a lot of starts. raging inbetween wagons, i would say. but then theres something wrong... is it what makes this scene? i, disparagingly lay down some matter: sadness, laughter, wrong, and tatterred. a blissful spell of 'all she does is yell' peltting me with hello, though theres a brow, braced and watched. like a professional about to tell someone off indignant of the melting tingling feeling forcing gleeful fleeting. a mix of dust. trust, ownership and yelling. don't go.

an old broom

Posted  by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 2:45 PM

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             whatever comes this way. swept off my sidelings when i found a noticable tract. probable cause in repetoire though confines so elementary

behind the wayside and the wallet, a, whatever -you - call 'it, there's a fix that needs a prix.

free from the antlers and buoyance from the found, i rush in with wooden artifice to find a kick

and around to the cranberries that so sound become handy, one grandslam armoir close like a laundry

and i always can't see it, but i'm beaming to some stowage, improper, and cogged, cognated with revery and awe.

it has been my mission just sifting, though roundabout and through wishing, with amalgammed tenancy does wrought. so temperance and allegiance, pageantry so decent, i attend willingly the problem and start with the cause in timing.

The willow stands tall outside. On it's branches are many orating plush-strained incubi that designate the orifice.

and the porridge is now warm.

warning warring weeping to stop sleeping and slept. vitamins on the table, and perfect neglect.

interior of a nomme de plume

Posted  by barrett on April 15, 2014 at 2:30 PM

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             bested, besieged. in dear ascent of leagues. trusted and animated through tunnel vision, one can perceive a conception of emotional tumult; where ridden of topic and flavour. indescent really weathering thoughts on a paper. but, with haste, the writers turn trap'd in a large ornamental gap-mishap. and render vain through a window eager to shelter.

blending, berated, in clear ominous straint, dire collection of silver strings... draw sentiment into collection. arranging 'things' like hand on rapier, and not unlike one too for favour, but altogether. relinquished it is but a tumult of emotion - ranging from despair to fresh care - given, not - where, wherefore trots' liquid dismissing of permissive givances.

like fiancee to writable, and all in one unique type logarithymic, no ventricle could hold the pencil shavings that were on candle. yet, and well crafted yet, as yets to be yet. let leaders follow folio and prefer for what's set.

an enterprise of commiserate duty in the hands of an official reality model. some betook and aghast waste away at the nomenclature as forms to clay, shaking dorms like whoknows. let it snow, let it snow.

bonhomme de neige, the recipient of this echo.

touchy subject

Posted  by barrett on April 12, 2014 at 1:20 PM

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"do that awful jazz music"

"with what?" he said looking from left to right.

"yknow that awful, jazz, music."

be bob bop batta ba

the conclusion:

jazz music can not singularily be awful, so that this guy is incredible.

oh, uh

Posted  by barrett on April 9, 2014 at 8:10 PM

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             only conformity breeds chaos, enough of borderline leaderships they cry. and we obey either way with someone and sketch the line... "lets". and then like a divet in a field of grass rain pours in and it takes days to get the worms anywhere else. well, "well", either way conforming doesn't have to be a battle, but a series of exactitudes formed in process to an aclimated state of peripheral balance. there is no way not to conform is there. if we all live eachother's lives accordingly, its just seen with a different divet...it seems examples would be elliptical style menacing renditions of the refinition of durability, seeking strong in ultraviolet, though, historically speaking we are all one part alien.and one part definition. seen oblong as an example it would seem that we choose propective candidates in advancement through spreadless paste tag 'lines' and coeffect ourselves out of sync, as perspective does. thats a good ending, as perspective does.

in uh.

Posted  by barrett on April 3, 2014 at 9:00 PM

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a fluency in english deludes the best of its commontaters. we shall become one with the striving one does to become none other than non. Anon, and abest to the corporeal indicative comingling of the undone and the undone. it has both rapport but does not asign another., or an other. sadly striving can only overcome the common efficacy of sound on a ?mantle?, but undoes just as well as the strive that places forth. sadly, striving. but to none other than a language goes a proficiency, home, to walk amongst the others of a same specious, but disparate, disparaging recollection of purified nonsense; in the same way that hands reach out and legs abound.

on a sailboat, several financiers located an agreement slip of paper and read it aloud, they agreed to sign it and then the clouds rolled over. they quickly tried to laminate it, but with such lamentation dropped it in the water.

discount items

Posted  by barrett on April 1, 2014 at 7:50 PM

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a woman, of stout physical class, was seen by her neighborhood, walking a small English poodle, of harsh detrimental physique. The poodle would call it her own and jowl at the several to many passerbys that would syrup through the gangly media of initiation and venting. it was a saturday afternoon that the dog had fell down after sitting; taken by the vet, she did a lot more sitting. otherwise it was a labouriate indignation of plausible outrage and defenseless opposition to the stout class of a specimen, likewise to the tambourine of this annal.

it so happened that her courter several years later was English and liked poodles. On the occasion of talking about anew pet, it was certain that the dog was coming back from the dead. The woman - Lily- screemed with systemic delight and not a word later the dog came through the back door. and sat. Lily and Tumnas took a turn patting her head, when occurred a high whistle that could seemingly only made out by Lily. Needless to say it was a faint echo of the dog, of which one, even i am concerned.

at the edge of hedges outside through the window was always a red cardinal. blessed be, the culprit of the whistle.

"theres no use in caging a bird" said tumna eventually.

"then theres no use calligraphying a poodle."

tumnas sat on the stairs and managed to hear a sound, it all ended with the word "remember"

untitled1

Posted  by barrett on March 31, 2014 at 4:05 PM

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"it was becoming lucrative!"

"how so?"

"knowing how to embroider specialized door mats, has never been more welcome!"

"So why did you drop out?"

"It wasn't my passion."

"and what was?" "finding lucrative businesses."

on a sailboat in the middle of the lake, a man named, guaranteed, was fishing for dinner.

a storm kicked up and tipped his boat over, so he stayed under neith to breathe and holdfast.

he washed up on shore about an hour later, a lake away from his cottage.

instead of fish he would eat among all fish, he drank kool-aid and had toast.

he didn ot see the storm coming, but it didn t destroy his boat!

and then a seahorse named "what are you doing?" was born,

rogue

Posted  by barrett on March 27, 2014 at 2:20 PM

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in a way, we find ourselves. combatting evil in illustrioustrialist right. we honour each side like a contraband, and play bellows like a shellfish in the sand. standing tall, with what all? never seeing behind us, but sometimes reminding some that we can peirce our blindness. trallopping over kindness, besmirching wickets... like: 'that covers it'. and end up sitting in front of a fire the only way it knows how. too much addressing, little less than much more confection, letting it, forgetting it, paying patience to what is now the other side of the wicket. crickets laughing in the distance dialing for forge progressed sharps that greet hay. oh, i forgot, creation inside something else, ultraparallelopedisms and misprints on slips of paper, property printing proper misgivings for more to span. lost listings of good stories, though stories of books.

monostarch

Posted  by barrett on March 27, 2014 at 2:20 PM

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in a minute's romance: brilliance plays almost dance

Casual attidude of delays of so in a minute's romance.

so much sloping like slop deliverred to and through caravan's

"my heart slew" hefty jocund rice sushi inimtables on the counter

and this wasn't outside the bracket. welcome to thee last six years:

pelt, like a pelt

Posted  by barrett on March 27, 2014 at 2:15 PM

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Several days ago, a matter of the heart had him crying, playing cribbabe. He stouted fourteens here and there as a mild sigh of relief, but technically and wholeheartdly he was losing and not in the race ultra-parallelly in that respect. it seems fourteen beamed a peridontistallite for his visible facial ties and he acted whimsical.

"another" the other said.

"tomorrow or the next, shuffle up and deal." could you imagine if that other side of the comma was outside the quotation marks?

nonchalance equisition

Posted  by barrett on March 24, 2014 at 8:40 PM

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fellows that!

hi here to thy brandish

if i werent adrink brandy thou would thy spend

well if it isn't when and where that was catalouged by the defense mechanism of a wyvern in type and term.

who holds the brandy (double back)

well then aside i must sip

while i attack?

the moss grew softer and like, very distasteful relief was all but plotted, in a niche

i didn't even drink any

brandished?

spat: a regatta

held

accountable for

relieved

your hat

false beliefs?

terms and tact

goner?

gone to better

roll with the cadences

bake in the heat

so i guess you had already

my own defeat

titleist

Posted  by barrett on March 23, 2014 at 8:40 PM

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several arranged a finacial commissirate deduction from the aspects of several. now they stone roll, and roll away the indecisive together. but not a point to make a stop to eachother all over again in ones.

opt'apelia

Posted  by barrett on March 23, 2014 at 4:00 PM

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it's what became of her. ninety seven, sixty three. stingray wheel and a shop full of feet.

like an ocean liner with too many anchors, swept and a treat to the eyes, threatening to look at alone.

two doors, seventy six. rpms standards. and the severed financial structure numeration in a history.

it wore a black sheet in the front and upper to lower back in that way. small spoiled

when it whipped past the first time it was home, they keep it on the lot to sell oil or something

some people drink it, but its neither fast nor slow down to the end.

this thing that thing, all the eyes origin and ending with a swift ninety seven.

too much handling and a brief manual on defense.

several arranged financial agreements

several

Posted  by barrett on March 20, 2014 at 1:55 PM

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at the library, several arranged financiers impatienly bargained for the new book.

dustin?

Posted  by barrett on March 12, 2014 at 8:50 PM

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"the dwarf had a silver maracca."

the pond

Posted  by barrett on March 9, 2014 at 9:45 PM

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from the bottom of the pond, i say. is where these rocks come from. if we want more of these rocks, we will wait, until the pond is not crowded with water and seaweed.

the pond.

levelry

Posted  by barrett on March 4, 2014 at 5:05 PM

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a black decent string, with silver-coated pearls

hung dangling off the box, and promoted guile.

it was hung there, heavenly like it belonged to the world.

and just because it also promoted style.

Ginger-ale and some weakened blossoms fix

and usually when trampled upon connote

a foot of sunken color like lamped wicks

though not in any way one would know.

The bracelt silver and yellow, married: gold and in circle

With one  wealthier pigment every five

Touching, the rupture of the inkblot: purple

It's hard at all to see it survive.

all to say what may come of jewelery

and all the revelry does subsist

though broken forms, through certain reveries

never to one woman enlist.

notation

Posted  by barrett on March 3, 2014 at 8:30 PM

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a hidden door way that led down a long dark hall. easily traversed compiling a set of stairs at the end, a green, oval knocker illuminated.by a single candle at the foot of the door. i took up the candle, and knocked on the door. a bolt sounded, and then all was black. the scent of smoke was wispy and gone in seconds. pringles, classic et cetera

in a sense

Posted  by barrett on March 2, 2014 at 10:30 PM

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seven soldiers surrounding... whats more, whats more.

all in the noise hearts pounding... whats more, whats more

seven they started, seven they ended, and here is what is more

on top of propounding, leash proper behaviour and love for war.

type cast away

Posted  by barrett on March 2, 2014 at 8:55 PM

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it is up to he who knows to know who shall know thy..

thee known as, shall know as known

and all a see shall fruit like magical kings

heels click

Posted  by barrett on March 2, 2014 at 7:35 PM

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a definite amount of certain, curtains perks'n, fork hands for purpose, to propose rose flowers like same-initial form posed endings. magestic feeling astray connotes an invisible metal, that won over to this side to trim and lie. by now of i swerving out of character flawed sighs, an empire of rose flowers by fault. till the grow side by side, in abundance

his inferno

Posted  by barrett on March 2, 2014 at 7:25 PM

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In the directories of life, governed by the all-knowing but offensive to capitalization, a salamander can be found, or two. Salamander hunters have since been long-heard-off-of though they use to frequent our setting. A cabin in the eastern most of the continent, known secondarily for it's chief export: salamander-fish, strike it rich in the upcoming fall.

Jerry the cabin owner was stocked for the winter and when he had his first snowless day, looked bright on the crossroad in front of him. He made his way to the end of the fence and fished out his old slop bucket. A slop bucket which he kept from his grandfather who owned a farm just to the west. He brought the buckt in and filled it with water, took a sponge and some pinesol and cleaned the front porch, top to bottom. The scent was a signal to those that knew him that he would soon be into town, not too mention the scent he gained.

In town he had a funny feeling, from the clouds, to the winds, to the roads, to the transmission on his radio, all saying the same thing: salamanders. He went to pick up some worms and a few fresh lures and hooks and hurried back home. To the stream he went and put together his rod. Just waiting.

ati derivative

Posted  by barrett on February 26, 2014 at 8:25 PM

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A small communirty of ex-miners, with about 2 or 3 minors to each home had a terrible flood. But with all the hard work, then and before, it only seemed terrible for a day, the day of the flood that is.

tuesday special

Posted  by barrett on February 25, 2014 at 3:50 PM

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imagine a telescope that could see into the future, as oppose to the past... what would the difference be? itd probably be less powerful. az truck driving superhighway goggles... rip harold ramis. thats snaff

walk by 2

Posted  by barrett on February 23, 2014 at 3:15 PM

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in an arc it was tassled by twinkling, and blew over the clearest patch of dust hamperred grass. straight up. and everyone had a seat at the ceremony. little statues for perseverence in "can you trust me" a movie made by many. it was the prescreening, but that only now comes in. "delabous? are you serious?" overcame the overworked orchestra and the screen was lit, yet black and white. the crowd...

quiche

Posted  by barrett on February 22, 2014 at 11:45  PM

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in a category gone missing, was a folder with the headline: catchetori chicken

by one's resolve chicken shall be made-type.

and that type is fine, fit for dinner and out of the way in a way

some business that, of chicken.

with a rainhat im starting to think chicken: mad.

as such a book will thrift certain events.

you are not what you read,

my mouth can't tell me.      

walk by

Posted  by barrett on February 20, 2014 at 10:25  AM

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a translucent sphere witha drawstring case. several, in the case. the case in which is mentioned bears a face, a bear, with long whiskers, with a tribute to stars and space, in whitie lace. wherever the place, it is known to face others' paces with all similar trace.

a circle in the grass, in the sand. where no man walks away. it is not easy to pass, to be planted is how one gets away.

clad in plaid

Posted  by barrett on February 19, 2014 at 11:10  AM

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Plaidly hopped in the cart.

"Welcome, to the land of the future" a tinny voice rang "if you'll look to your right you'll see a real-life dinosaur skeleton."

Plaidly hopped out of the cart. to be with the dinosaur skeleton. Mr. Shogun ordered the ride to be stopped and went to get Plaidly. "What is the matter with you Plaidly?"

"I don't want dinosaurs in my future."

"Well then we best make our getaway onwards through this kiddy ride."

"sure thing."

They both went to sit in the cart again. When Plaidly looked back he noticed the skeleton was missing. "if you look to the left you'll see early man by a fire." the tinny voice continued.

it was a long day after the ride. Plaidly got back home safely with a note of fatigue. he heard footsteps. Someone was at the door. When he opened it his face pulled in horror thought he couldn't make a sound, there was the skeleton head of the dinosaur he had seen at the exhibition... with a package. he kicked the skeleton to pieces and received the package. he tore it open and took a look at the tiny fossil, with a note that said "use this to break the teeth and jaws, back of the skull and anything you don't like."

Plaidly's house now had a rather large gathering of dinosaur ruins in front of it. And that's how Plaidly played it out plain and simple.

the regular roose

Posted  by barrett on February 17, 2014 at 12:55  AM

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up to the ceiling with feeling, ie. the letter brought on a greivous upheaval. who could have delivered such a thing to let one corner bend after dear, and dear me, was too endearing to let it drop in the box.

i haven't known, i haven't gone. the place is new, yet the lights are on.

predictions of a certain night time upheaval, where everything wants to be read except that torn message in the envelope that said:

dear reginald,

its time to put your books on the shelf, and meet me for a goodbye shelfish dinner, or something. im leaving saturday for good. in the meantime...

and at this one point  i want my name to be reginald

«

discontent

Posted  by barrett on February 16, 2014 at 2:35 PM

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the workshop was clean as a whistle. a tinsmith could see his reflection. though he added pictures of engineered plots, this was the only one to service him. he kept a fine pocket, with no chain or ballast. his articles of clothing were fine in their sense. above the last belt of tools on his mantle a sheet of one by three tools would go- adding in a never.

he was to build the iris of a robot, at least a circular circuitboard with occulence. either capacity.

as he worked the retraction in... in discontent he realized he was only eyeing the measurements. tho

a walk through the melted snowman field

Posted  by barrett on February 16, 2014 at 2:05 PM

comments (0)

"its really not my field, but is it not unnaturally warm in the sun today."

"why the snowmen have bulbous shadows by ones upon our time."

"a snow-man-angelleses!"

maybe the clouds were in dissarray.

"Let's hope that snowmen don't get upset."

"I couldn't care at all for that joke."

"Well i see."

they walked in the shadow's turn of phrase from the muddy snow hills, crushin' ice and snow. not knowing where the arms were pointed but a hall full of melting and fell apart snowman sure is still fill. The sun seemed faster as they walked out further. so many of them,

"this has to be the coolest thing ive ever done"

"watch out for the melting faces"

still on stalk, they could hear talking. was it kids? all they could think. why it was impossible not to just either be scared or amazed. the same face, faces facing. about two months worth of snowmen. it was like one of the wonder's of theworld that may have led on to something strange in the same matter somewhere else.

you don't forget something like this, yet they melt

ego mania

Posted  by barrett on February 16, 2014 at 1:40 PM

comments (0)

jepordized cats by 3 ran down the midnight windy road, half slanted. A crew at the construction had already started shipping in parts. cats in three, in these parts both ran and ran for nothing, for nothing would be cat-like in fact.

where did the cats go?.. on all fours as they should. they forrayed at the fortress in the foyer of another formidable straight. and then half slanted. now two streets down. they could still here the truck.

the cats made it to the edge of the field three streets down and looked around. tacktful amazing cats like seen nearcurtains curtailed the night and made it under a cabin.

the cats live there now, on three strands of purpose.

a notice of reflection

Posted  by barrett on February 15, 2014 at 3:15 PM

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every shadow reaches its limit independent of the troughs it spans and the displacement increases with a maximum amount of darkness, im thinking desert sands.

as these higher degrees, the sun creates lower, as we travel and stay still, just how stay still becomes none whatsoever.

their then must be an amount of darkness independent of the absence of reflection in directory, plus natural shadow governed amount, that places what id call foil or a shadow on the ground, initially it may be a change in temperature, though how does it go from a natural then down.

This could be how the temperature changes, a notice of reflection (from other surfaces)

this reminds me of clouds that must go through this totally reflectively.

the olympics are on

Posted  by barrett on February 15, 2014 at 2:10 PM

comments (0)

naivety can be so reassuring, yet bliss can render ignorance in itis defense.

if a blimp went by that looked like a cloud would it render in sincere delivery?

the pilot, plots, the wind doesn't shrink, yet the whole show is only a makeup.

of what the astute really think.

trumpet

Posted  by barrett on February 12, 2014 at 4:10 PM

comments (0)

at convenience at last alack alas again. gainful threading...softly treading; endearment!, through around an iconoclastic circa forecast inspiration.

grateful rodsman sporting width with a colleauge of magnetic softly treading, trouble is, no one will know the connection they spread

on a planet several gloves were washed in a basin and the hands went cold. for several days.

intelligently resembling hand gloves, fake hand gloves were made. no connection to the eye or face, though the hands were spread out gently. and partisan to flock alack tacking auto-bastions was mercury.

favourites hammered and withered succint oceanic mysticisms that brought back the primer, trouble is, though no one for several days made no connection mercury.

gowns

Posted  by barrett on February 6, 2014 at 5:25 AM

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sora, soars a swoiree for her ad'or'a. wherein Wilting arose such suspicion, with'in a city grown by. on the eve of an aurora, therein quick stitching force her meridian to a timid aura, or an orphan scanning for spies with no warrant, Though fleeting everyday. it goes without saying one will, will, win over what is chaste, won't we into maybe strong and safe allowed to be prayers. And as one swimming in and out the door'of her past shores, her flora always sitting bipartisan though taken in a wake of what is more, while all her insides are our pouring.

they're in

Posted  by barrett on February 5, 2014 at 9:35 PM

comments (0)

it just so happens; without knowledge. that is enough for some; yet independent. stressed as thumbs.

typeface orate

a glee club for all the maidens of the spade.

cat's eye, one

as precipitate to colleague, mentionable through this and that, the marble's chief export is force.

no flogging of the gnat.

and where can you buy a tile with a letter on it?

et cetera

lemonade

Posted  by barrett on February 5, 2014 at 3:10 PM

comments (0)

oh look at that." she said with a common stumble,

he was all ready to reach for something. and down they went.

she awoke  in front of the business, and ordered once, but twice

wherein he said "i will not drink lemonade!"

and took a stand.

Chances May

Posted  by barrett on February 5, 2014 at 3:05 PM

comments (0)

tidings, behold ye grand dealings. these things of common place tidings, be, holding ye grand dealings.

and then some artifact a few away, flew away in the mishap, like mishapen clay

and then around again, i found it, i found it

foundings of forwards for words.

where wars' bottles' stay

lay down along the ebb.

and follow out, too old

and noisily buoy,

until, un-tilled

until whatever

chances may.

downward spiral

Posted  by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 6:15 AM

comments (0)

down the man made hall.

wherever it is, its dark

se much for a good window.

meanwhile it's plateglass

The midnighter - 3 Aurora

Posted  by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 6:00 AM

comments (0)

I wonder what happens when you happen to be blessed, thank you… all concurrent I think we need a rest in an ambiguous dance I held these hands like chapters of a book, in an unmentionable glance I took in the power of its post postulate and deemed it its corruption… through the snowbanks such in the life of things you know and crushin’ snow and ice while the nothing in response is rooted to the foot of the glacier, moving at made up thaw speeds below the radio wave transmissions’ level all to say something up up and below sea level.i

some gathering

Posted by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 4:10 AM

comments (0)

awaiting a loop in rest and relax

i say, the motion of the cars is backed

only by a few mile delay.

'someone said it brings in the cold air

on it's tracks

with no cares yet, the stack stays full of it

until it sotps, and that happense all day.

...

Posted  by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 4:00 AM

comments (0)

I'm beginning to take notice of the windchill

solly

Posted  by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 3:05 AM

comments (0)

Isolate liquid dyslexic arresting less of this, when wilt today’s catches and matches into the circle of a half force of the opposite, wherein the fastest regulates the passive into fire that whips the air like lisps.

And the ailing cannot commit to the risks the migratory mitigation memories memorize and test the air for following into the wrong places with this: fire, licking the atmosphere now for more than the awakened like flares’ to.

All done spirits spiral in likewise, find terminals and enter into the extraneous versions of sleep, encasing, wait, facing the irregularities in warmth that take down several forces of this fire, and into they go.

The air now frigid, the sniffs sapped, the gifted, mapped, sever each other in some sort of collapse, until matches fall into the hands.

Alive and dash-full digits undoing cold with world left forever take apart severances turn to warmth, awake then spread fire like-with their faces, encased waiting bows and kindling.

Lucid laughter and meals of forbearance break into now and outside wait the polarizing natural wake. On the eve of a Sunday.

thankyou

Posted  by barrett on January 29, 2014 at 2:50 AM

comments (0)

id like to give you all a thank youvii

im sorry i missed the banquet

but its true i love this language

this lost in the moment, treasure and the anguish

sinking feeling deep into meaning

something else sheeps and weening

on a bend a lament to laminate

the character you've twisted fate for

negates the sentiment and scapes for

the moment that they meet

with the treasure chest, of expectation estimates

rendering drops

dendria 2

Posted  by barrett on January 25, 2014 at 5:50 PM

comments (0)

built again ruins, falling away slowly, receive rennovations that transform and coo the ta'. when that seeping inner shadow plane, feels normal go it pa'. forever endearing structures of a nuisance cascading in a roman clockwork at best, time will mystify and transform that slew the star.

bar by bar up or down, and around in no complexion, waiting for connection. signals.

basic ideas, racy slices of inert artifacts. building

nothing cene or cemented.

though fashioned and effervescent,

this is easier to describe.

trouble

Posted  by barrett on January 25, 2014 at 5:45 PM

comments (0)

sensitivity is a lot like two things combined.

pencil network connectivity is a lot like a wine.

stencilled pent up directed as and at activity

is a lot like a spine.

tho the plane is in doubt in the same way.

for the matter, we have light, and light we see is or an expression of our decay.

the building blocks of tetris, like cycloptic arraignment

The Shadow Plane

Posted  by barrett on January 25, 2014 at 5:40 PM

comments (0)

so much space, an avenue... do say its cold.

on one avenue, of leisure enfibrocated effort, a legion borth it's que.

'what if not oft to of certain take triangles like normal fading issah?

then that is the shadow's space, irregardless of lot and command, the shadow relies on its inability to function independently.

'would oft fire or light command it hitherto?

the light speaketh cold and alone can be seen as all encompassing, for infront.

'not oft the light shine behind us, tho we cannot see the light?

aye.

'what for matter instill light as enlightment and fire in one's being

the very same that shine in place.

'oh for

tbc

dendria

Posted by barrett on January 23, 2014 at 2:55 PM

comments (0)

scraggly branches of umbrella wannabe snapdragons, habadash the ringer for a ben franklin mishap. in those gaps and brink by brink we jump as locusts to become ordered like one such blip, in entries.          

«

Those that thaw tea

Posted  by barrett on January 13, 2014 at 6:40 PM

comments (0)

for some reason i had the idea that Christopher Columbus smelt the word "spice"

revision:

he may have smelt spices

Gargoyle (part three)

Posted  by barrett on January 13, 2014 at 6:35 PM

comments (0)

Gracious gill, go graciously, guilty

Stain. Just Great, guessing

Garrison gargles rain today.

Tertiary Secant (it was a strange time in part two)

Posted  by barrett on January 13, 2014 at 6:30 PM

comments (0)

Test the foil. And Remain Central

Fly the pestal, past the point of

Tesla Royal Crawl like fanblades

'till you can't see the soil.

Loyal Type treason feesibly Reaping Flats; so tangentiently mapped, I don't even feel.

Reek of havac, ad hoc, vox, populi

Moire populi proximately stops.

Etymology frost, latin fabric

Stock, short flaws paucity

prone antidisestablishmentarianism

plus talk. Rotterdam sophist plane

shocked. Cost Connote adverb.

Deneoument.

A Poe Requiem (part one)

Posted  by barrett on January 13, 2014 at 6:25 PM

comments (0)

I would like to find a case of stone, being of course, ordered and inbelievably narrated as thus printed in proper format and altogether coagulated - as one might find - situated indelibly: so liberated as to communicate with a page. As oppose to ideally mentioning a black wood article in grave extinct poetic impulsivity, such as that which creates itself then follows suit, thereby retracting a facade indelibly as a moment in time reflects a moment in time, As to be unaware of distinction possibly as a denotation, connoting taste in red books and/or that which covers them ahead though not about a apage or binding dimension of something so bitter it would crease everytime you touched it forever.

good evening.

Posted  by barrett on January 13, 2014 at 6:20 PM

comments (0)

just started reading The Fellowship of the Rings, post-hobbit. the page 39 i think is the most exciting fiction i think i've read, then i went for a walk... 'thinking... "the book is about how far writers have to go."

anyway the above is some odds from my stay at a village from late Feb. to late July last year.

'battling the word bronchitis like a doctor needs the sponser, sick of sedatives a single edge making medicine a contraceptive, contrary to reason and response seeks a mild heiroglyph. tonal frequency tangential fireworks plus start dragons, read em. slash maintenance,

reperations in a box.

eyedea rest in peace.

good morning again

Posted  by barrett on January 12, 2014 at 4:00 PM

comments (0)

start dragons, snapping like crabgrass. arranged like a special arrowhead. experimenting with wave tradition, in the middle of an angler's storm. when will they be caught; its cover, probably not.

to decieve and arrange the city!

the knights of the high order, under oath to cache the grass, catch the intruders, and bring trouble to malice's last.

"foam fingers"

if it wasn't for the excitement something of the highest order may be carried out... on a large flat wagon backing, with the backing of the construct's guilt.

but wait, there is smores!

victor, the candle maker arises in the first wind tunnel on there way back. "I care... us...we do not need too much flame. eaten.

and out come the flame eaters, to be continued

eight style

Posted  by barrett on January 12, 2014 at 1:30 AM

comments (0)

Pluto Platonic cursed the word

It seems now, more ironic

Then ever it was where heard

Loose-spikes laconic that platitude: song is.

In a world of definition the body is least seen. Intangible greets the far-strays of what is not capable of definition. Long-breathed listing breeches the apprehension likewise. In a world of definition the body is perceived.

"and so"

-M. Averill

Journal Entries in Blood Part three

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 11:50 PM

comments (0)

I don't know what is going on! I got a call from a surveryer the other day and he asked me where I lived. could it be lupus?

back in the groove.

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 11:30 PM

comments (0)

i sat there. their were too many distractions. there was a rubic's cube on the table. "wait till it knows you he said."  it can't be much more difficult then a spread sheet, or that's where i had to be. the colorless sticker had a logo in the middle. who in their right mind i thought. i drank some earl grey tea i had beside me, decided to give it a shot, casually comforted my torso, but let my feet detail the ornament. i pictured it perfect. corners first. how curious? i've seen it done, were those hands mine? im a mole. inside the block language, i let go of the absurd cube... and fell into revery, does this explain the cube? alrite alrite, "wait till the cube knows you'

in my bed with the thing waiting over there i found a need to make note of it. somewhere.  

for what? 'wait till it knows you'.

isolating the colors

opening jars

a jaguar ran past the window and i thought a little differently, there has to be a solution potent enough for the cube to be at one with itself, though finishing it... a time sensitive purchase. to frame? expand and demote maybe, what could all of this be, the jaguar.

don't forget

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 10:45 PM

comments (0)

i can't forget octopusses.

thats because youre namesake is a suction cup.

no heed to levity

no head for s'up

sushi around the edges,

paint on the frame.

i can't forget about octopusses

how many times i can refrain

notice

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 9:20 PM

comments (1)

around where i live they changed the street lights from purple to white.

so far i've figured,

its not as luxurious a settings while walking, its quite distressing, and its brighter. in that order plus now, give or take a few levels of NaCl

warning

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 8:35 PM

comments (1)

the ocean is filled with octopuses. thats good i think for the time being. but squids might be inked octopuses too. either way, or, either sea creature, dendrites may look like people.

don't think too much about octopuses.

and

oil is purple i think, it doesn't turn grey does it, and black is basically lack of light, and/or not enough energy to produce the photoelectric effect, so maybe we're octopus cells, or psychologists didn't understand squids.

no evidence required.

don't use ink, or you might think its oil.

warrings.

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 8:10 PM

comments (0)

twitter representatives, ie, share holders should all say pie enought until the art of time swallows them the thing the pin as sty, in the eve of warring with a site, i cited mine as an x for such suspicion links as turuses, natural causes, inked soon like the former when everyone has popcorn but my. started thinking about when corn is grown and stuff, yup. anyways tune in too to channel two whatever news it has is certainly blue. audience scribes.

curtains

Posted  by barrett on November 27, 2013 at 8:50 PM

comments (0)

the incredibly dressed man walked into the shop. there was a lot of, slightly lesser-quality-dressed men in there, of which he took a casual glance. He then turned to the cashier walking by and asked the following question: "how much for your lesser-quality scarves on display?", to which the cashier replied "your money is no good here. take a scarf." The finely clad gentleman replied, "i would like help selecting one.", to which the cashier replied. "how about the red one?", to which the finally clad gentleman replied. "yes. that is the one for me."

the first snow

Posted  by barrett on November 23, 2013 at 11:30  PM

comments (0)

             With new ultraviolet lamps the wind certainly had straight up squalls in spells

and in and out evernow and in an hour by snow was seen gliding in close snowflake-like circles

on the eve of war

Posted  by barrett on November 20, 2013 at 8:30 PM

comments (0)

"Fellow scarecrows and blacken, tonight comes the adjoining of the fence. we do not know what will come of this, but make sure that you take this to heart... we have all served, done our part, needless to say that it is fit for each and everyone of us to remain strong. the straw candy is at the back.

travaille

Posted  by barrett on November 20, 2013 at 2:30 PM

comments (0)

a recipe of pure spice sat at the oven then now the table. strongly stirring was abated and the cook abscond. a lucid bond of memories on this november night, where no one could respond, eating salt and celery, onion powder and garlic, oregano and cilantro, with passed around tomato paste cans for membership. All of a sudden the cook comes back and opens the can of tomato paste. "mix!" some decided to drink, some decided to sip. the bowls were almost overflowing with the stuff. The drinks were too helpful. the spoons too overcooked. The woman in the dress faints after sayiing "oh the horror". her husband rushes to find some smelling salts but can't take it.

snake faucet

Posted  by barrett on November 19, 2013 at 9:10 PM

comments (0)

If a book did a good build a house metaphor it would probably be about kids growing up.

A wot in riot, try relax tyrant.

Viper-shadow dance till both are cuspits.

An infection tolerating nothing dance as lust is,

When snake comes from the pit and languid is the rushes.

fade away type wot,i feel i could be a character in a house, but,

There is no general engineering of my own making to advance more.

Salary! take yourself higher... all the while the celery droar is empty.

I could probably write about a house with snakes and celery... I just don't know how to start.

'Possibly I need to exit more, or find a snake in the celery droar.

Maybe I need to open up a bit more, or see a droar shook like a snake.

What possibly makes a good story is the lack of snakes.

It's possible that everyone has already read a similar story.

The passage of stories are much like snakes through a house,

Top to bottom, sometimes sending more and more, from the snake-faucet.

Mainly there are gargoyles on the house, which the snakes protect.

But it could even be one short story that slid away.

clearly

Lull (the midnighter)

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 7:35 PM

comments (0)

seeing away from a shadow in the eyes

for chose thy habbit to dwell upon i've assured

miser to those who hold me up in time

yesterday is gone and its already now

down grounded found out, skittish, down grounded found out skittish

whereas the weakness depletes, rigging what seats, the colder you are the less your bound to know in memory leeks what seats, toss and turn in sheets.

alls well

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 6:20 PM

comments (0)

Fire like movement stayed still for spark. A hollow log. fleeing shadows stayed still for a moment. An unearthly smog. This is the place of control, no one has to wait, but wait for me now, 'for now we all stay. Croutons on the circle if it be menace, blades of grass if it be 'let us' and your drink if you think you're ready.

I'll bet your bottom dollar you thought I'd be the type with a guitar, I brought one once long ago, though it didn't help me author. This guitar has been in my keeping, for some time. I played licks, riffs, and chords that I thought were only mine. Tonight I bring you darkness and light, because that's what time it is, as we look into the fire.

This penchant for music I had ran deep. variables of sound that I would often fall asleep too, Back in the day I also studied the flute, but it took my breath away.

Anyway the song I once heard that will focus this greeting, is about the flow of instrument conception, and what the music is really getting to. I say, stay away from the instrument and play vulnerable to it's conception, the first one made already splays all of us in one direction. Fading and fading out like a cypress, once it detaches, puts up spokes or spicates for capture. and no one knows after, Let this time be a lesson to you, because its always been a sayiing, with me and the others, that its not the person, but the shadow that is what is practised

notice

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 9:20 PM

comments (1)

around where i live they changed the street lights from purple to white.

so far i've figured,

its not as luxurious a settings while walking, its quite distressing, and its brighter. in that order plus now, give or take a few levels of NaCl

warning

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 8:35 PM

comments (1)

the ocean is filled with octopuses. thats good i think for the time being. but squids might be inked octopuses too. either way, or, either sea creature, dendrites may look like people.

don't think too much about octopuses.

and

oil is purple i think, it doesn't turn grey does it, and black is basically lack of light, and/or not enough energy to produce the photoelectric effect, so maybe we're octopus cells, or psychologists didn't understand squids.

no evidence required.

don't use ink, or you might think its oil.

warrings.

Posted  by barrett on January 11, 2014 at 8:10 PM

comments (0)

twitter representatives, ie, share holders should all say pie enought until the art of time swallows them the thing the pin as sty, in the eve of warring with a site, i cited mine as an x for such suspicion links as turuses, natural causes, inked soon like the former when everyone has popcorn but my. started thinking about when corn is grown and stuff, yup. anyways tune in too to channel two whatever news it has is certainly blue. audience scribes.

curtains

Posted  by barrett on November 27, 2013 at 8:50 PM

comments (0)

the incredibly dressed man walked into the shop. there was a lot of, slightly lesser-quality-dressed men in there, of which he took a casual glance. He then turned to the cashier walking by and asked the following question: "how much for your lesser-quality scarves on display?", to which the cashier replied "your money is no good here. take a scarf." The finely clad gentleman replied, "i would like help selecting one.", to which the cashier replied. "how about the red one?", to which the finally clad gentleman replied. "yes. that is the one for me."

the first snow

Posted  by barrett on November 23, 2013 at 11:30  PM

comments (0)

             With new ultraviolet lamps the wind certainly had straight up squalls in spells

and in and out evernow and in an hour by snow was seen gliding in close snowflake-like circles

on the eve of war

Posted  by barrett on November 20, 2013 at 8:30 PM

comments (0)

"Fellow scarecrows and blacken, tonight comes the adjoining of the fence. we do not know what will come of this, but make sure that you take this to heart... we have all served, done our part, needless to say that it is fit for each and everyone of us to remain strong. the straw candy is at the back.

travaille

Posted  by barrett on November 20, 2013 at 2:30 PM

comments (0)

a recipe of pure spice sat at the oven then now the table. strongly stirring was abated and the cook abscond. a lucid bond of memories on this november night, where no one could respond, eating salt and celery, onion powder and garlic, oregano and cilantro, with passed around tomato paste cans for membership. All of a sudden the cook comes back and opens the can of tomato paste. "mix!" some decided to drink, some decided to sip. the bowls were almost overflowing with the stuff. The drinks were too helpful. the spoons too overcooked. The woman in the dress faints after sayiing "oh the horror". her husband rushes to find some smelling salts but can't take it.

snake faucet

Posted  by barrett on November 19, 2013 at 9:10 PM

comments (0)

If a book did a good build a house metaphor it would probably be about kids growing up.

A wot in riot, try relax tyrant.

Viper-shadow dance till both are cuspits.

An infection tolerating nothing dance as lust is,

When snake comes from the pit and languid is the rushes.

fade away type wot,i feel i could be a character in a house, but,

There is no general engineering of my own making to advance more.

Salary! take yourself higher... all the while the celery droar is empty.

I could probably write about a house with snakes and celery... I just don't know how to start.

'Possibly I need to exit more, or find a snake in the celery droar.

Maybe I need to open up a bit more, or see a droar shook like a snake.

What possibly makes a good story is the lack of snakes.

It's possible that everyone has already read a similar story.

The passage of stories are much like snakes through a house,

Top to bottom, sometimes sending more and more, from the snake-faucet.

Mainly there are gargoyles on the house, which the snakes protect.

But it could even be one short story that slid away.

clearly

Lull (the midnighter)

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 7:35 PM

comments (0)

seeing away from a shadow in the eyes

for chose thy habbit to dwell upon i've assured

miser to those who hold me up in time

yesterday is gone and its already now

down grounded found out, skittish, down grounded found out skittish

whereas the weakness depletes, rigging what seats, the colder you are the less your bound to know in memory leeks what seats, toss and turn in sheets.

alls well

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 6:20 PM

comments (0)

Fire like movement stayed still for spark. A hollow log. fleeing shadows stayed still for a moment. An unearthly smog. This is the place of control, no one has to wait, but wait for me now, 'for now we all stay. Croutons on the circle if it be menace, blades of grass if it be 'let us' and your drink if you think you're ready.

I'll bet your bottom dollar you thought I'd be the type with a guitar, I brought one once long ago, though it didn't help me author. This guitar has been in my keeping, for some time. I played licks, riffs, and chords that I thought were only mine. Tonight I bring you darkness and light, because that's what time it is, as we look into the fire.

This penchant for music I had ran deep. variables of sound that I would often fall asleep too, Back in the day I also studied the flute, but it took my breath away.

Anyway the song I once heard that will focus this greeting, is about the flow of instrument conception, and what the music is really getting to. I say, stay away from the instrument and play vulnerable to it's conception, the first one made already splays all of us in one direction. Fading and fading out like a cypress, once it detaches, puts up spokes or spicates for capture. and no one knows after, Let this time be a lesson to you, because its always been a sayiing, with me and the others, that its not the person, but the shadow that

indigenous allegory

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM

comments (0)

appaulled pollen pales in comparison to the pollen that rests on petals. how it got them a long may have been a string of things though that's not what I'm taunting. windy lights but shake a bit sometimes, though we may do the same if its a certain time. years come forth but never yield, though somehow we make them, is there an ace in our defence that goes for kingdom. her majesty settled her brow, and provocatively talked in an octave key, about how it was okay to overlook some bane, and what builds us up... to movement, the darkness rising, like tomorrow was an image in a camera with some daily extracts from the extravaganza.

scratch

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM

comments (0)

Quite like it, like it was never seen before. Amazing and conspicuous. A menace monolith, deadening the simplicity of the visit.

antinomy

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 4:35 PM

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It was off without a pence. A penchant pence for pent up thrillings. the inn keeper didn't want me to mention but though I fathomed his wisdom. he needs the slips for the slip. and a sip for sip with him is a way to lose out, though I dare not mention my arrangement now, the house down the street it shall be slipping in here and I need not tell you more. I am to clean the whole house top to bottom, without looking in the closets, and yet its all I can think of as of now.

I knock on the door

"We are just leaving." "perfect. perfect for looking through closets."

"ah you kid me."

"well, surely I will look through your closets even though you ask not of me."

"that is not wise."

"this is irrefutable."

"we shall increase your wage if you give me your word you will not look through the closets.'

"I am not in this for the wage, for you see, I am a notorious closet searcher."

"I trust you are kidding this whole time."

"Why don't we both go take a look inside one of your closets?"

that's when the man's wife came to the door.

"let's go henry."

"yes, off you go, I can't be looking through closets with all this exchange."

"he's kidding I trust."

"no, no, I shall clean your house, and look through your closets."

"just let him look through the closets."

"this is not good"

To be continued somehow

at technology

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 4:25 PM

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"look at this"

"its brilliant"

"What is it"

"I think they call it technology"

"it reminds me a flower."

"she's got to see this."

'what does it do?"

"well anything you want it to."

"how'd you get it?"

"I made it"

"out of what?"

"the old stuff"

"I have a bad feeling."

"don't worry, here have it"

\"why are you giving it to me?"

"so that you're responsible."

correction (midnighter bits)

Posted  by barrett on November 16, 2013 at 3:45 PM

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While drifting attached to slings and wings with this serious dart to one off side clings steering us, belted to the start... of anything or else it's missing, rifts and shelves, part and parts, clearly enough tipping, continuously lifting, a string bridge bubble stopped... so much like rain I and we almost faint as we make it below the ceiling, it's about since now I tell you in the clouds I always have a sinking feeling that's why I mention isn't there a place set for all this cradling, my word is obeying, my world so strung she almost couldn't use lungs

do you feel that jinx ice cold sculptures relocating extraneously (that's) what a jacket can do bring her home truth is i'm freezing and seeing through things quickly, you?

spot 2:50 one caged assured absurd movements make it in this place like I say like I said like I dream place encased stays but never erased debased down to zero for the moment though its always never the same, if it wasn't so much of a play placer i'd erase it, note to self: do later, no matter to charge no horse to hold up bars and in the epitome of everything i'd say it how-wronged... slipped away

like I say like I said

just mapping on the charge, it's far away somehow I know it's almost dawn, drawn to the refrain of the digits such a limit to the timid trepidation I feel, nothing reel, one's back, blissful in this soft kiss moment, I almost kneel, not allowed somehow listening to real as well seems pensive and in its peacemeal splendor I unreel a demeanor of heel pivot and off to the postulates that lost their limits

to make it, face, entropy replacement farther forth in the same direction so I can sleep.

and that

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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everyday is a learning order for disorder. More snow on your cellar door than mordor could offer. might toggle time. where offerrings of snow are like the most pleasant the tallest will get and short with thine, tho in turn a true burner of it who calls it by his quill, an upheavle into reticence, he since may mistake his grill, tho gills be hard to come by, they offer expanse, but if a fish could smoke, could it really just be thought and dance, the first time touched offering quilt from the tucker, as some often say, though id stray and be a sucker, candles and matches, could one hinge another and call itself like a gladdist, setting stone? prone to tone, alone to won? the footprints already lead indoors. "what happens when the cellar door is closed?

why that's when the wind doesn't howl as much.

eight hours allay later delay.

"this"

scary kids

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 6:40 PM

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The kid who pronounced monseiur correctly called me one, and now I think I need a doctor.

Nature habbit

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 5:05 PM

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Isolated, mixed, abused, never allowed to be, I so late, dyed an egg and meant therefore to be aware.

Start

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 5:00 PM

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Predessors'

ghost channel

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 4:45 PM

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here we are learning, leaning and warring over over seas, aborting plans for starlit nights with starlit kites. 'its like enjoy the kite young one, cuz when it breaks you should be strung out, or we\ll make one, anyway landing on a nuance that could populate a reason for metaphor in a poet companion, at this time we'd be watching lights move, but at this point we stand one. and finally when thee stars really come out we see the same things just on the widest crystal apparency magnetically acheiving broadness through father straws that were antler'ing into the sawdust. of to build a network of yes and no, knowledge and whats fa'struck, timid coloring from an upgathering and lots of ghosts to come. but its a hassle at this time of year, unless your ready to make snowmen. and prone to be a blend again with fences fencing in the pendulum of a creation... seriously its either the moon or the fandom, so gloriate and sorry yet, earlier we knew we found one, but at this time it\s like they're family, oh Rion, and split apart.

Worst worth

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 4:40 PM

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Tipping point of slang versus slang verse tipping point versus the universe.

What's worst? Birth or the end of learning? or the worst thing you can think of versus versus?

Terse movements of Earth dripping into worthwhile for the North, caverns caving in for the curse? Birth of a new proffession, lots of girth movinng sideways into the first. Though I dare to remember what's worst.

the niceness of good applejuice

Posted  by barrett on November 15, 2013 at 4:20 PM

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oh that's good, might get some more

thank you

Posted  by barrett on November 13, 2013 at 5:35 PM

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Why is the clock the slowest processor at times? is it a gimmick? it seems all ac/dc clocks are complicated machine though why the strangest and most reliant? is strange tolerable? is it necassary to make what is often the biggest proportion interesting, almost fully literally. When will that thing on the wall at work, and by your bedside hang upside down? when will it be written? is the latter even possible? circles i guess, merit the injustice of nature, and straight lines give us a picture of what is real.ie. a real long time ago we had no measure of what we call our updated time.

untitled

Posted  by barrett on November 13, 2013 at 12:25  AM

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In September of the same year, I had started taking some philosophy classes. It was a relief to hear a professor’s voice and be around the same type. This man who sat next to me always had something to say, and I always troubled him with my questions, rather than get the professor’s textbook response.

ease combine

Posted  by barrett on November 12, 2013 at 1:50 AM

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Fleeing decently receding Thee peace bequeath a Special lease undone to Thee uneasy, peacefully piecing treats and cleats to be the steam in your bereft unleashing.

Reasonably fleecing treason speeding, by beating leading, leading led on straws deleting creases in specious reasoning pleading speaking weakening bleak defeatings, deeking weaklings seeing creaking beaten fourteens, (like lying Shakespearian greetings)

Some lyrics

Posted  by barrett on November 12, 2013 at 12:15  AM

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Astral plane travellin main making it rain in courtships with the southern hemisphere

It pits the sane against the bane of existence why flames rap around my cylindrical dame

Fame or fortune, beyond repair, vague disorder that retracts the flaps to shape the borders

We amass at centre stage taking plague pills to stand straight with the grain, korn is played out loud roars are heard our heard roams the fields in search of cookies with the help of yellow birds, tomatoes silly i get sight of word no one else can cure the ham like i can, we all say it from now on its to be debated. soft ware. thoughts pair like ruffles. truffle trifle, despite an eyefull of eggnog thats delightful when nightly chilled, its a real type night like where nikes are pronounced without the ease psych running down the street like a chain gun through belts of bullets, just like we already hit it, but wait its limping, pump another 15 inbetween

I SHARPEN MINE WITH A PORCUPINE ANVIL

TWIST RIGHT THROUGH THE FOREST LIKE RAMBO

LOOKIN UP I CAN SEE THE CANOPY TANGO

RAN OUT OF LEAVES SO I DO THE SAME TILL I CANT STAND STILL

STILT SPAN THEN A DANCE OVER TO TAMPER WITH THE RANDOM

THERES NO CONNECTION LIKE

i shake a format its raining dormats been so dormant taking hearty napps just to anchor the important, need some time stamps

erase the golden doctrine in the synapse. no one s levy enough to bout the brevity in the such is life set i say all jittery jit jit ju jitsu

i been lending beats breaks and beaks to a philosophic dove who entreats us with thoughts on love.

enough enough through the rough away away ebb out on 4 rate one one zero tarot sparrow near so

i take the bureau out. bust it up, and rob deniro

take his timestamps i need em primed and printed,

so i run to business depot, for no other reason, to complete this friggin sequence.

of mistreated hedon readings succeeding to shoddy reason.

i caught up, lost down, can't stop now, or is that all that's left to do other than be reknowned

constantly haunting thee, shores of the city. just waiting for petty pitty. hello kitty

welcome to the gritty morning drippy! catnip cacti sour milk, fourty billion bagpipes compressed into one thats compressing as one i know, its rather wintry mutiny mints be pressing coinage

to outlaw the fifty, over ten, like the quilt cakes go on forever. what i couldn't compressed with some oculence, endeavor trocking benz, was it a miracle, i sub segway into the equation to duress the mother quill staying still,

now mathematics still rocking the beat, i play a live show chalkboard scratches and screech

that dove comes back almost always so mosy or treat, this as a lament, boring as heat, heathrow, or wheat

to find the concrete solid would be solid, promise to sheet, i'll make you like the stairs

take a staircase to stars see the features form feats yours are the detours reversed and forward

lets talk a way with the run of a theoretical cave. no one can distound the word, but i propound that it might be used today

and onward we steal way to the rise of figurative sway, say siya, ger tiger druid adroit in winning bays. like it was thought from the rise of one kinda stay all the razed sand takes time to make marigolds bend for disdain ... taking orders from rhyme rate and rhyme stages. a way awya away awya away

taking time to reach the heights of midday placement, thirty seconds till i select the taste of vapour i want to takein house the truncated space favour. i might be thought astray but i walk around the minor's gold with a samsonite briefcase,

ghostship sailing without a rudder or prime directive known for frequenting the bottom dwellers

cafe halfway to armeggedon. or was it magellans last nebula a regular really to one of them, just because within the perfect beginnings now the serpents bellow, trembling sirens to vibratto and spacemermaids retelling of the chirades we surfaced as we become part of the wayward tasteless face off complacents stasis. mongering for the love of targeting ongoing rowing like it was a safe november remember me december before i turn all cold and the harpoons sharpen, or is it that the whale hunt broadens. at worlds with atwood saturating avenues with lampwick, can't collide within perfect spellings or desert dwellings ill forever be a nomad if i can't depict my addressing

when the sun warms up to a more spacious leash, i'll find the eclipse at zero anywhere then considered east, feast upon the pragmatism of a less collected beast, i beleive we could direct the warmth if we weren't such a leach.

but from astronomical units a way! trompe de loeil anyway tropical fish could say that they were the spacemermaids if we created an atlantis out of the moons dazzling race. we are moonmen, straight from sol. we ebb out when we we're home and flow when we're alone, saddling the satellite, we're prone to find our way through the ozone

to beseech the moon for a nightcap we dazzle if we say.during the night timbre an unhearty right of ways. say slay midnight a rigormortis today simpler. i'll see you in the sky maybe you could even decay yourorbit and yourself as atlantis create. i'll wonder why i never swam to the moon reflection sooner cuz thats what the scene looks like today anyway and im guessing that thats where i'll find poseidon, namor, my living self, need i say more, i already patched an echo, thoughts on techno. if i wasn't on a ghost pirate ship i'd say hellno.

but i am, man and energy, combatting trams, just to reflect on techno. i blame technology and i don't want to let go of this 3 dimensional circular pancake special

regimented invented sentences go beyond reflection to the source caveat the cohort about this sort of rhythmic aggression. is it right to sport the thunder from the enlightning sounds which one dismisses your retention and rounds off the order for mention the voice that goes before the penchant for this... hedge cut by edward with handhands,

those who know, slowly form 3d spirals cascading rival circular articles.

perhaps charred at the centre, which they never winter or reach farther than

but come to terms with as the enter. o

ffending off hand remarks with off ended marks

it got them on the naughty list. i'll take the shelves over cars.

my self as the trough, clearly the mirror doesn't even delay like that

what about stars, ripped from the crux, of cuba or art, wherefore art though shard

of diamond, to rip the glass apart

and spread time farther into this apartment's heart

second hand practically dipping, the ringdom's king won't accept infringing

for we all talk of wisdom, but when we see it, fear impinges.

i guess thats why the fireplace distances the grinch, can fire really do that timid

i enter, watching fear dissolve, probably fallacy will glady rattle me till i

make it around our galaxy. tattle be: he sat upon a comfy seat, used his hands to run along with sheep

thats how the wolf leans posit r in the nearest neutron star so we all can see

now: clandestine, arresting and reversing first impressions, neglecting mention of the monolithic beginnings

the talk of wisdom, repetitious system driven listen kissing. serving spaceships-and- remaining distant im sans which one track former 5letter wiccan tonal rhythm beta cheiftain fact checking missionary warner brother in the rights of written painstaking freedoms given by the statutes of any listener with a written consent form from themselves in triplicate sitting lightly on the statue of liberty within limits, lest fence intrinsic power trippin. dippin into doves, loud and runny, the dog barks, not because its hungry. maybe tryna be funny. can't wait until its sunny.

maybe this one will be far enough away not to mention wrongs.

i take the tongs, ostrich egg and think hard

theirs got to be a way to baldwin these 2 and a half articles into a song

tongs, ostrich egg

tongs, ostrich egg, song

theres no limit think of plymouth talkin stephen hawkins theory finished

singularities please, points of no return... believe, we all can sneeze our way out of a feesibly incandescent beam decay, asscent from turbulent censorship. ..bent on bringing out the zest from the best of the less frequent orange tips and depth.

might as well turn a profit, rest and sip, erupting through the roster would have to be dollarage star sign tolerable milestone doctorate imposters

talking over lemonade like they lost the game.

but its funny how it happens some don't feel ashamed.

is it up to them or us to find the just in just a jist of the business sifting through it

like we weren't impressive, impressing triplicates like they said all the while

meanwhile the meandering catalouge the froglike fossils

round off the relics to shear impossible

so where the crystal at, its calling kane and i aint a palladin yet i cant escape these trap doors that enforces that theres a force that doesn't want me getting close to a pure geometric source, now i know this wasn't in the brochure but i do read more, into the lore that says the mystical quest has been dealt with, i thought cid died, hes always coming back

and it all came together like anythin but fairweather such antithetical proclamations cant get any better, down a river, about a route down a river to the root

it was all the same till your name graced the page now im outta redundancies other than grey crock tame. lil advil beggar with a cane sugar its abundant like flame igniting the rudder im fighting the shudder of a 7th inning stretch with no where to place bets but at least theres

its wonderful and cumbersome to be in love with the way something sounds

seriously troublesome to be running out of sound. i take apart a three of hearts with my bare hands for no other reason than speaking bound to text and

through the wire, patches fire is scented luncheon latches lock and higher places are rented

the unlimited premonitions of a license to feel symply isn't rhythmic

its symbolic though mainly systolic diastolic when you don't really feel, something's still turning the wheel. and whats yield-ed is.

This brink sparked how,way at mad him reflect. He couldn't possibly, but that didn't restrict the limits of independence.

I break a bushel and shuffle into the city centre, mentoring an artiste with no headtrip that got the better of me. Just waiting to delete the layers of snowdrift amounting amounting bit by bit on typed strips of thin clipped papyrus enticing systems of revision like listening to televisions on the warring channel blips conspire rhythm on the ss give me more the trick is timid wisdoms like shake a stick at the wired wisps and the crispex perspectivisms dishing out the dirt on the

Some lyrics

Posted  by barrett on November 12, 2013 at 12:10  AM

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i

April 2nd, 2012

It's got to be April Second today. It can't be April First everyday can it? Well can it.

Well-crafted

its puzzling the rubble road ending at the hubble telescope,

never, always, sometimes, sure. x3

is it elastic... bands which keep me rapping?

fans in tandem with never that keep me yapping, trapping, twisting, listing, pure. thoughts which rebound on such allure. or in this state, fraught?

drought demur, i can't be lost. what creates the boundaries for our mundane world?

is it always this way, sometimes i can concur but though contradict and control lore. what wit has to do with it aches in the cortex, not too sure

though,

so i make. strides to arrive/ when the tying trolls an and that just has to roll, was it planned? a plateau that makes for tired souls and focus follows so i'll make the next few golden gilded. i lifted an instrument, bored into the mountainous monument to songs that are stricken from the record!,

can i say it moved me at least daccord daccord, in accord with the bylines beats resting easy in silent sheets. white snow on the streets

So what moves feet?- now featured, in a league or two of melted water

Scattered first then drained like a teacher. note well i can't control these spells i cast well i just borrow from the well that can be an addendum, like nintendo with super prefix or powers to uplift.

Now that gravity's gotten in, whats holding us down? i realize its a perfect world when i hear the right sound. din din dimmer, at a simmer with the alter, faltering to proctor this unstarved artist any farther.

I caught her eyeing the words, now this i am told

Is whats not supposed to happen without the help of chords. but we all can think right? I Hope we can all think right

Crash test sillilloquy silly statements made by you or me, verbatim work there way into decency.

Being decendents of harnessing ill remembrance of narsissustic thrills are overkill, like this beat but i'll rap on it still. what way should i drill seargeant. calling bosses by loosely linked synonyms is bringing in the losses. tossed to far to the opposite position rocking pauses because its as fast as ever. never sever ties with losses its costly like faucets probably are and cars and trucks and plains and trains and bars and tucks and spain is specially to spaniards connected to layniards are pick locks we all share the same home with rich parts like stirred marts. correction we now have an occupation occupation malapropped up against the hedgehog detour speed to level out the authenticity. i lost myself in recency reticently reliving read recording rarities ranging relatively rational relevancy to reiterate maybe. really? Reality rarely rivets wrongs with rights but i may have just changed mind tonight.

Trains on planes, walking the planck to tank at the box office.

Crystal dancers prancing on tunics of the lost world topple

Down to the stomach seinfeld sillouhette, still young yet he

Could correspond with the weathered years like a snowstorm yeti

Begetting a ready crowd of setis to link back the living steady

Infultrate his messy system full of fibre optic cables

Breaking fawns to flora doglsled called beverly

A lacy white strap falls from the synapse to anybody willing to grapple

The stamp pro whos able and willing, to pick apart a 5 piece perforated on the table and chilling

In dry ice, wry vice, no ones nicer than the number two typewriter cable connector illing to fare

Up the world with the balsamic vinegarrette salad dressing while nesting are

The stairs and the cupboards, fuck it we'll take cupboards and ride em over fjords

Assured we make the right choice when mine is yours and backwards

Trample over avalanche calibre remonstrances, just mashing the synapses collapses

These rap synthesis financial vibrant title geist dish guising at night in lapses

Of theoretical tangential argumentative vibratto elemental pineapple to be sure spazzes

Tear the traps back, let in the footprint of your phone's app.

No one needed to feed it these things are metal, as soon as its defeated you retract the get go

Which is now in your possesion a lesson in meddaling token medallion for your confection

Arresting the eyes of onlookers, even offlookers, can't stop/// i guess i can

Trains on planes, walking the planck to tank at the box office.

Crystal dancers prancing on tunics of the lost world topple

Down to the stomach seinfeld sillouhette, still young yet he

Could correspond with the weathered years like a snowstorm yeti

Begetting a ready crowd of setis to link back the living steady

Infultrate his messy system full of fibre optic cables

Breaking fawns to flora doglsled called beverly

A lacy white strap falls from the synapse to anybody willing to grapple

The stamp pro whos able and willing, to pick apart a 5 piece perforated on the table and chilling

In dry ice, wry vice, no ones nicer than the number two typewriter cable connector illing to fare

Up the world with the balsamic vinegarrette salad dressing while nesting are

The stairs and the cupboards, fuck it we'll take cupboards and ride em over fjords

Assured we make the right choice when mine is yours and backwards

Trample over avalanche calibre remonstrances, just mashing the synapses collapses

These rap synthesis financial vibrant title geist dish guising at night in lapses

Of theoretical tangential argumentative vibratto elemental pineapple to be sure spazzes

Tear the traps back, let in the footprint of your phone's app.

No one needed to feed it these things are metal, as soon as its defeated you retract the get go

Which is now in your possesion a lesson in meddaling token medallion for your confection

Arresting the eyes of onlookers, even offlookers, can't stop/// i guess i can

Thought beleivers would hold levers holy orders of receivers bell payphone outta order can i leave yours. notes to the quota iota i tote a hindrence of my symptoms i oughtave wrote a prescription for a different octave in a notarized alibi for those who fly in planes when the spherical properties of contingency realize it forms itself like alphabetically papoose did. a truce with the wealth of words say im stupid. now active practice makes time short. and bends around the belt ...so in the long run thats for me to decide thrice triplicate try for more order an ornate celebrate once you finish the song

\

With a wayward way with words, i fleece a million dollar bill on the back of a polo shirt. whatever will whatever won't gathers in the fabric, seats rich drones through a hat trick.

Please matches coalesce with the bones of a rubric, the rural timid ration, of the fusion.

Of tact and tease, passion, test and tone, bastion with a tunic round the bureaucratic mention of the first men that lives with a ransom noting the music. that some dance on, alone with the all, and in with the ruins of the contract ceased lest it hone the sound of lactic acid thats all around it, these adroit figures figure ligaments while the others offer impediment, and usher in new ways to connect us, to spacious blent platforms where we trek truss bridges and get around to stupendous feats

Theres a world outside of here

Whether its close far or near farther there farthest i don't care

Im going and ill change this place

Maybe once im gone ill walk away

/its unnerving the birdwings i use to break the turnpike. my inner workings, morphing like a fashion trend. satellite heights. call it a site. geo geo station synchro retrograde negation in one way street wise meet placates the defeat of common traitors acting as commontaiters by definition only save your selves from conch shells or rebel. hell i'll even throw in wealth! At war with the will to cover still covert stilts tbat i set up to stop the bells ... ...like they say: rock them shelled from the hardplace, shelled by the inbetween. like the rock use to say to man and still can you smell what the rock is cooking. just to make slang for all my children

I don't want to be in settlement, id rather just pick you a better man. how can i hide from this integrational replacable bed again

Cadillac though cataracts. lilac and lie back.

Sleeping in a new car till the sun retracts

My eye lids, im riding out waves of dystopia

Through my macrocosmic catastrophic blent myopia

Wheres the wonder gone, or is it here under the papers. oh the save yourself games we deem as majors, like! Tame yours and unfold your relatively dull straight rapier. fence to fence to fence to fence. to be again under the selfsame sky, i might be dense to wonder what id have to drink. probably die. spend the whole afterlife not having to try to relax relatively, because i got drunk and into a swordfight. how silly

No no no no here the wonder has tatooed curtains on its its belly. with angel wings on its tassles and blows a dog whistle to stretch the limits like i did. tried to relax and faxed a whole pig inside myself. fiddled with the control panel in my computer with the intent to install more software. didn't run smooth weird

Cadillac though cataracts. lilac and lie back.

Sleeping in a new car till the sun retracts

My eye lids, im riding out waves of dystopia

Through my macrocosmic catastrophic blent myopia

They say stress is a syllable impressed with itself at rest. at least i think they do to test, if it is with those that want it that way. cuz they sit

On the fence. but to no fence sitter is there a letter also deemed a number that could follow the letter i could write cest la vie deemable as a number, you could smell the ink. to bad im on a computer now don't you think its sad to have to laugh at the jokes that aren't funny thats why we need more staff writers with less stressed out math

Matchable word wrap rappable stapled papable reiterationaly detainable strung out silly\

To no fence sitter is this pity

Cadillac though cataracts. lilac and lie back.

Sleeping in a new car till the sun retracts

My eye lids, im riding out waves of dystopia

Through my macrocosmic catastrophic blent myopia

It comes from pockets, this lake lorn to profits sa storm forever marketted

In bed reassured locketed with a better stirred rocketship straw like they bend around the universal paltry

Faulty draw bridge cursed to doctor the author to balk at marker tips/ and fellow ships

Hello grips. yalls fools, in order, target stripped. like borders thatll be clipped

So how bout we dip into the sprinkles ya dig got it rigged

Reverse psychology never worked its a fib

Coerced within the drab, sadist symtematic live life logger's mill

I got a lotta milk to spill so cry your eyes out against that windowsill

Wu tang widow few can sit through full blown metal thats why its done in chambers

Little by little

We're really stars, talk about large, we're living legends rhythmic system bobbing within a symbolic farce. tardy for the charge of the trade that displaces chemical bonds a series of pawns that are normal can conceive but can't believe that two that couldn't can't relive what they releave through. kinda coalesces cuz none were made i think there was an issue of the globe and mail that relates, call it late to the place meant for the race, that reinstates you as a muse to my tape deck

Half way down we split we call the biggest bluffs, take the chips, and realize the stuff we're made of isn't rushed /its a slowburn bottom feeding toss to turn it up alright defeating of the dismal, this won't go away i try to rough it out and for years don't know how long its been though /it doesn't matter, ive seen the sad skies, asked the wise whys, flipped the coins twice. ripped the package open and seen you in a bag of rice for now i'll warm the ice of your impress/ id guess youd stress alone had so many bricks admiring the structure of your home. is it just to look at you id king my castle if i had to but i play kinda rude, no time to plan it out, just gotta get into your shoes. run about, collect the collapses, like past tense was fashioned.

I shift sands while i walk, shake hands while i talk, cheap brands when shop its all the same to the doc. stocked shelves in the past, been in locked cells thoughts fast with nothing to do but hold fast. chalked cues by myself not at the same time, but maybe impressed ladies with nothing but an envelope that was never opened i think its barely spoken but it happened and im lately overrated by sundry hate-mes thought a girl was giving birth to a baby sang my song by the same name to make it less shady had an impromtu date with an 18 year old babe sharing sad stories while i was staring into nowhere mostly was the host to a rave scene at least thats what the drugs got me saying held a prayer position too long to get them to notice i might be praying playing the 5 same songs thats still going on patients passed me by while i waited last man in the spaceship till the same cell became vacant, been there a few times racing all alone to facilitate the same which i Hope will remain clandestine till i figure out the name realized the whole banal thing was a shame had a bagel with herb and garlic, untoasted, talked in frog throat, realized i said tart lit, and many things that i didn't spit, spit like rambo, wrote about rambo, metacarpal workouts pretending to play the strings had a stand still smoked so many cigarettes drank a shot of alcohol and i think its still affecting me, saw my mom vanish in her hall and something mightve jumped out from the tree. found out it was hard to believe in a static frivolity played super mario two player without luigi, think i sat through one movie. got close before watching good will hunting till it became love scenes burnt plaid in my jeans, durst fad with the scene, cursed out loud with a serbian in the suburbs who has dreams. wrote words not knowing what the mean, kinda... read a little nietzche figuratively speaking

I take the stair case, put it in my briefcase. my legs were sore, so i soar over there say: were you aware im the rarist terrorist bearing garish overbearing parents who say no more swearing to be the fairest.

There there rest. i take a pairing of stairing to work the wearing. what is this really? Could there be more sharing. up to the minute news nightly for our type of daring. darlings markings on my skin from the offering talking out loud in syncopation

Rest assure the words that i could walk around your were were never worn till this my goodsir take one step down from your throne and pardon the yearning, learning, burning, discerning, confusing barely tolerated person myself one addict churning socratic thought to balance with balm and blame his decided practice all the while the worlds turning the furnace is a convent for my inner workings where terms lurking become birthing females some loved and some hurting some unavailable some turn pale. whatever worms its way to the surface, i cherish and wail, brandish till they stop working so i may stay and avail.

All i ask is some ears to my leers and gazes inside the lab and the mazes to phase with a stasis of my voice and patience for its not fraught with good form yet yet it might shape this whole place into a palace, the talent

Notably fastened to the cork of granite leaking out the backhand. digits rivet sifting on the bandstand. grandslam to

1Patrick Stewart – best known for his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

i Like patterns, like phantoms, like saturn, like lanterns. (like saturn, like patterns, like lanterns like phantoms.)

posies

Posted  by barrett on November 12, 2013 at 12:05  AM

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Shaped with a hand so gentle, yet strong

It's instantly burnt and hardened. Like lentils

The vase pronounciation gentled,and drawn

And a flower for my pardon. Daffodil

in simplicity i wander like a child, too complex for the cows to come home. the scenery blends in with me like a bus-bust going for broke.

the soap i used totes, but I virtually know no one.

now you should know, that if you're reading this, there are certain words that just stick out, like hollograms. take a piece of me...

if there were an essay on it, it'd be titled: Those Who Know Me Know. I can act like I read it. hey, again, but really its just the dice. on a different starbust candy tranquility spin i realize i am only what i make of myself, call this the denoument.

there is no cafe,

there are no more intruder sundial batteries

i wish i could say something was true. days seem quill/

maybe it's maybellene

Posted  by barrett on November 12, 2013 at 12:05  AM

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so, someone got change for a $1000 bill

This is the wildest adventure you've ever been on.

Girls, grills, gills

I swam till i couldn't sea the shore, in the sands of our lies.

Running thin, on empty, and I shift my head just to realize.

I wonder how long it will take for my posture to collaborate.

If there were an easier way to say I told you so, I wouldn't.

but i melt around the edges and evaporate in turn.

And yearn for a yeilding, that doesn't even earn.

Sporadic spirally spells of sepsis, if thats well,

correct then i was guessing, and i thought it too as wells.

This is the dawning.

The

Dawning.

In the land known as Patience, representatives have patience. They are practically representing, patiently, presenting their respective land known as patience. There are no doctors, just patients.

In the land known as Doctors, representatives have credentials. They are without practice, patiently waiting for patients.

The doctors built a ship, and docked Patience. For about 3 years, nothing happened, but everyone was patient.

The patients built a ship, and landed on Doctors. Immediately the patience had docked. Credibility of their respective home had failed.

Years later, the son of God led them all back home.

The patients on Patience. And the doctors on Doctors.

Thinking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing. I hear Billy became a stockbroke, I still think about him every time I pass through the city. Ryan passed away in a trainwreck. What a trainwreck.

This is not a dream. The red numbers blink. Celia needs to get to class. I start the motorcycle, she is already out the door. She mounts the leather seat. I look away. We're already on the way. She takes off her helmet after the engine stops, I take it, and she glides into the institution graced finally with her presence.

She sits tapping her pencil on the desk, the professor is trying to see her take note. She just breaks the pencil somehow. The professor points to the door, and tells her to read chapter seven. She walks out the door quietly. The whole faculty just dies a little inside. She is already out the door. I look away. We're already on the way.

This is not a dream. The red numbers blink. Celia needs to get to class. I start the motorcycle, she is already out the door. She mounts the leather seat. I look away. We're already on the way. She takes off her helmet after the engine stops, I take it and she glides into the institution graced finally with her presence.

She sits tapping her pencil on the desk, the professor is trying to see her take note. She just breaks the pencil somehow. The professor points to the door, and tells her to read chapter eight. She walks out the door quietly. The whole faculty just dies a little inside. She is already out the door. I look away. We're already on the way.

This verse abridgement of my first project: Sewn Crates revised April 17th, 2012, 19:00.

Sewn Crates

Epilouge

Some writing can be Sewn, as so. His silly, but mainly: influential, writing, in some places known as negligee parts...Where, some don’t assume positions of retained-anything-at-all, for

they retain creativity constantly, creating a void of tolerance. But by what bias does the distinction between poise and constancy become immeasureable.

In other words, when do we consider which is best?

It takes only a matter of time in a truer sense to see what.

“So what do we make of truth?” The Sewn idiosyncratic collection of thoughts put together to be part of this endeavor notably.

“Well, it has to be time, or sequential apartment inside thereof.”

“A path between points might stumble on some segment of the answer.”

...But she is brash as the brass: arriving thorough jazz of lucidity.

brick a brack

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 10:55  PM

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This morning was different. The sun had already made its way past and over the shrub. It couldn’t have been me. As I walked along the brick and what? Plastic structures I envisioned the place from a top-down angle, it seemed wonderfully cloying, for the time being, seeing it, with reason, was enough to dream.

Sarah woke up off the bed and parted her hair, alone… shook her head and went straight for the kitchen. Out the window she saw the houses and shrub and shrubs. She had just reached for the cabinet when Allen came back from his walk, he’d be having coffee too.

“Sarah, I think it’s time we…” he abruptly paused.

Sarah reached the instant and smiled to him with a turn-out-pout in assuming.

“There are just too many bricks. We’re living in a brick cult or something…” Allen trailed off and sat down, “some for me.”

I knocked on their door where they retold the

While the poet practises philosophy...

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 10:25  PM

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Through a torn implement of a derivative of something subjective, translated where no relationship exists, I pirate an alien tongue to make you slave to the wonders of fun readership.

Nietzsche: The philosopher usually quotes the poet.

"smash my harp onstage"

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:50 PM

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newt

a baby newt watching destiny.

fell in love with albany.

all crazy and felt, like a rail in a felt.

the stealth belt melted weltd

Total War Part three, and the startling beginning!

The fighter plains came below the ceiling and the Japanese destroyer stopped in the water, the few anti-aircraft guns slowly and laboriously positioned themselves to predict the flight path of the almost versatile American aircraft. Suddenly the most versatile aircraft made their way from the west, the destroyer shot in front of the intercept path of the American aircraft.

The American aircraft two by two split up, the two west most dipping under the flightpath and towards the destroyer, the other two heading directly towards the Japanese aircraft going as slow as possible.

American transmission:

"Move in from the Indian."

The flak exploded, the planes fired, the propellers roared and the subs searched for each other.

American Transmission:

"Scramble."

There were 4 Japanese planes, they all went down towards the destroyer firing precisely behind the flightpath of the two American Mustangs that were headed for a death sentence. The other two Mustangs fell to intercept the two aforementioned Japanese aircrafts. They were gradually torn apart by the other two Japanese aircrafts.

TBC

Space Lakes Poetry, plus infinity stuff too!

The stars arranged in waves, of replete figureheads seizing lovers’ eyes.

By far the rearranged slaves, were defeated, leading to cover thighs.

At large the paved derringers, were seated after hovering thrice.

So

I’m a poet, I take pages.

And crump on the podium of precedence.

Drunk all the time on love,

Seeing straight through the steel bars.

Posted 1 year ago

meadow

So they walked through the meadow, half sullen, half sunken. The deep end again. He grabbed her by the turned coat and kissed her in midair. She thought deeply right away. He broke the lock that bonded them substituting his astute, and trembling lips accordingly. Of course it was cold, it was always cold here.

The snow fall flaked, For just one day, And it had them distraught, With what came there way.

trail blazer

i was walking in the forest aloof!

with no shoes on my feet, new chew in my tooth!

all of a sudden, I realized something!

The one’s who knew were family too!

So i travelled past the mountains in a flash!

dashed through the tropics in my past!

got around the world in under 80 days

reminded myself it was all a dream, i mean stage.

no one was listening, when the relic hunter came on television.

i guess no one wanted to search for treasure.

or they found it, and had preforsaken it luck it was sunken.

no one remembers the how about a luncheon!

deserted island phonetic witness, to the drastic plastic, hold fast kid.

timex.

rolex

i’ll take a brief habbo to remind you briefly.

Posted 1 year ago

eyeglasses

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:40 PM

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stockpiled insufferable malaise mayonnaise outfitter. a title I once hold in good standing, though my new one unabashed regulator suspicion hunter is more to my liking, though I might've liked it If I suddenly went backwards.

a sir lancelot

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:40 PM

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the dragon table they called it.

a lamp upon.

no doubt one was talking

when another fell out.

strange enough it was platonic.

like the board.

gypsies, gypsies, unicorns.

two

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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In retrospect I noticed nothing but hands on the clock. The, or what used to be the five, was now a somnolent elevated fracture of a fault line. I mean it could have been a three, no, that would have made it more of what is was and/or trying to be.

As I closed my eyes again I tried quite hard to remember the time, it seemed that it's only requisite feature was that it wasn't really moving.

I take it for granted that it doesn't remember me. Though it had several dislocated minute particles, which reinforced the irregularities, which lead me to believe, that in fact it may have been me, that was indirectly surfacing an extraneous amount of attention towards it's fortunate twice removed indecision, stretching.

A Person eating a croissant in D minor

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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"Delish." Bryant said. "Just, delish. Milkman, brush my gums with 3 ounces."

"Only if you say so."

Spring Paint

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:45 PM

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Snail bold entangle

Servicing built mold mallet

weaving a next hour.

Sail build nautical

Surviving billed miled mollusk

Welding a next hour.

Bale full of caskets

Bringing fledged files wild

Dying, dying durst,

Fraying those flasks'

Tailors on a ship fledged

Dyng, drying reign.

Bleakly abiding

Rain. providing provisions

The darkness cold as,

Faint, drying, nice! Spiced

Emergent flame slain vice

Breaking fees feed fleet

"To society"

Captain called slower cranks.

"We'll" Wheel "we're" well well.

It was an Ideal.

text space

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:40 PM

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Start, I did, once, at lost.

I found a lot.

Out of gaze.

Listening to paradise.

Mastering the flow.

Of where is lost.

Vice.

Is my spice of life?

trite communique

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:35 PM

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Although youth can be fleeting in an impartial clause to retreat, meeting of such distinct distinction can often suffer meet. Alas, in order to become a due, must defend where and when without a reason to offend. By what starry matter do we rise and fall to be patient enough to seek refuge in death? or do we pretend?

Perhaps night shades the intolerable, and the sun soaks the valuable, and the twilight speaks to mollify the all able in creationism on the fly. With such summits of surpass!

The predestined, find ways to allay. The tolerability holds buoyantly, and lastly the changing is dope, so I cut in line at the refreshment table holding a nine with a peace sign. Perfectly constructing a change in demeanor as expressed, presses the certain issue, and the rain must fall as well, plus the moving of the heavens, including but not to mention.

one

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:30 PM

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I was sitting in the middle of an NRA meeting, again. Fran was trying to have a smoke. The biggest gun we got to talk about today was a new Mississippi brand sawed off mod of a single-barrel revolver.

She says, "Pronto, let me have this right now!" To which everyone just wants her to hold the thing.

Some guy at the back opens a tin can and tries to make it louder than it was. Fran doesn't like that, is what I'm thinking. She gently takes the Mississippi loose weight, spins it around, some new guy from, well probably Mississippi walks in and I make myself scarce. Finally, she drops it and I get to hold the thing

«

While the poet practises philosophy...

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 10:25  PM

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Through a torn implement of a derivative of something subjective, translated where no relationship exists, I pirate an alien tongue to make you slave to the wonders of fun readership.

Nietzsche: The philosopher usually quotes the poet.

"smash my harp onstage"

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:50 PM

comments (0)

newt

a baby newt watching destiny.

fell in love with albany.

all crazy and felt, like a rail in a felt.

the stealth belt melted weltd

The rain stopped and Dreifus was truly gone, Gezabelle made a snide remark about how Dreifus always fucked shit up. Damian chirped. Prince Scarlet, uncapped the bottle and poured it on the glowing axe. He thought a little faster and gave the beaker to Gezabelle. Gezabelle neglected the axe and Damian appeared. Prince Scarlet cradled the axe into striking position and swung it aiming for Gezabelle’s neck.

TBC

Categorical Imperative,

The categorical imperative is selecting an imperative to execute.To decide what you are.

Going beyond things is the most compromising you can do. It astounds and transforms the boundaries of compromise. Now, I won’t compromise while invading the jurisdiction of formative collaborations, but there is to be noted that, among us, we live with formations of rocks, fences, and meadows. But condolences aside, there is no vague idea for the input that goes unfounded, no one ever finds the solace they’ve truly ignored.

Contrary to belief, it is a good idea to transcend freedom; this is the meaning of freedom. If we are not freeing our transformative opinions, then we are not recognizing solace.

Now, with respect to the geometric simulation of transformation it is really not out of place, just recapitulated slightly within the imagination and imagination’s grid. Whichever way you look at it, you reassign the configuration into accordance with whatever symbolic representation you want to enlighten. It’s not rocket science.

Rocket Science,

Preperation is key to success. Just configure the solace that you misttakenly guided into the Sun. “Sol” if you will.

Now, if there are a few things acting on a rocket, then there will be a net gain of ordinance. Any which way you transform a free thing, you will transcend it’s transcendental freedom.

Starship Enterprise,

I am under attack.

The Stigma of Mental Illness,

Many people are afraid of mental illness, they think that the ones who have a mental illness are somewhat flawed, and they would like to help them. They do not like to help though, therefore they take the fall by falling under the categorical imperative.

Midnight Starship…

The milky way reflects on the surface of the lake,

Slowly walking away at light speed, surfacing tension and calibre.

And even wagon of dialect graces the ripple of a new dimension.

And we all look back to the land.

WE’ve blasted off again,

out of time, and out of space.

There is no way home Christopher…

You are slowly getting more united with

whatever takes you, and rocks you back and forth.

Pray tell, what is your dialect?

is it the ebb and flow of humanity?

are we a weeping ocean of waters?

Do we sail at night wondering the earth?

Is there really a way out of the impure stature of a forebearance?

how do we succintly stoutly, softly ebb out like you.

Rock me back and forth.

Carousel Distinction.

You are not a fucking Horse.

Wet Napkins,

You bloody pinpricart.

doth though feel limp?

Haggle your way through my snaggle tooth

and rinse out your woven texture abundant,

The Navy Blue Cross,

We are the Hindsight of Malpractice,

We are the true Total Menace of Wrought Desire.

We sail above the rafters, and travel gallantly through the fog.

Always sending good men to the Crimson.

Oceanic Letters of Revelery.

Dear Mom,

Ever since I’ve been on this thing, this ship, I’ve been sick. Home sick mostly. I don’t know when I’ll reach home, but I’ve got a feeling I’ll be homesick then as well. I remember your apple pies and the way you treated me like I was a good son, but I think I’ll take Dad’s side on this one and say that I’m just sick.

Dear Dad,

I respect myself now.

Turbulent Fossilization,

Posted 1 year ago

all i need is one mic, and maybe a record contract… rs im looking at you

i battled ballads my beloved rattled with atlantic salmon and travelled above to see the sandman coming, but theres nothing like a muffin from a lady that made you go on and on about nothing like you were punched in the face thrice. enticing victims of the lovely, roughing tridents just to make the blood stop coming. and i rap in fact inside my residence, which takes precedence, but we both watch futurama, where i’m obama, and who santa can’t gift me more than my granma but the llamas that i phathom can’t take lamoz classes because its random. land one, land two, land three and your outlandishly standing at cubical tenement where the roof’s become a sheet landmine plant a flag fragment to mention mine, and yo you can wine and dine any rhyme but the rhythm is decision. so i’ll take you to my ordinary village where i become a villain, take my pills and avoid children, spilling guts like a mut who ate grass and talked to us. you can fuss and dust and rust but rustem. wait buttons! flutter over supper and sputter out crumbs like an usher. im a pencil pusher, but i only push myself to push that pencil aside, and take a stride into the wood, where it could be like santa, but wouldn’t even matter if you were madder, so sad to see you look down, im sorry old lady but i see youre smile as a frown, sometimes i drown in the gown i could create for my sound, like now, but love how? with no other way to do it unless i play cupid with ashtrays, spades, dig me up when you learn to behave. someone save me a square dance till you’re there and sing till you’re rare. bear this tip in mind kevin smith has two eyes in it, and that has two e’s, off me please, are you happy now you beeseech? treason in front of treason, to the sides: reason, now im pleading, mercury is fine, but i know you got a blue tinted visor that reflects signs.

Posted 1 year ago

yo

sigh, citation, invitation, invention, tantrum, tantra, mantra, mammoth, hammers width, famished gift, selfish gift, travel tips, exponent life, life, sift, tif, blip, pill boxes that shot the doctor’s patience. mason’s take on staking the stranded with underhanded band famished land of lost atomized tyrants, based in cincinnati the way a rowdy saddist might mechanize his favourite doll faced doll face. face doll. ollie over and forget about surfing the net for me, because we’re all part of this, it’s you, it’s me. v v v icodan icarine… buy my fucking book if you can’t wait…. anyway, i just put myself down the same way, anyway i would like you to know i will be at the cliffs, if you want you can meet me there. ‘listened to two of the three meter feeder’s . who does w/e think ? anyway, id like you to know. there are astronomers that are backwards but there are satellites too.!

Reblogged 1 year ago from philphys-deactivated20120616 (Originally from 9gag)

2,926 notes

Source: 9gag

some new stuff.

Recumbrant diction is a must-get fiction, frictionless, and imprisoned by etcetera throughout the district. Distinct and cheerful, the precinct quoted an imbecile and put the fashion trend into the motorized vehicle. Already a speeder, flashing demons the cheaters without poise or purpose or pronounced public speekers. Those who know, know. And those who don’t, know.

Okay double down on the pirate envy and wrap an m-16-macheti around your dark navy tribe. no one is offering you any more bromides. so in distinction with reliving the centre of a intrinsic pistol postulate, relegations of negations go famished for the one without a taste for apathy adjoins the furiously comprehending syntax.

If it were up to me, I’d look down upon you all.

Hey is for horses.

Three days later,

Welcome, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, but I’m busy at dueling with prose…

1.

Darling, no farthing is farther than my grasp. You are a scent, even your weakest, most fragile moment is silence. Let me try to caress your golden locks. Yes, quite. anyway, i thought i’d let you know I’m heading to the cliffs, you can meet me there if… anyway, let me caress your metronome. I’m sure my heart beats faster. anyway, i t hought i’d let you know that im heading to the clif. yo,

2. hey hey its your’s

3. Try to sty the virus that stylus want to be moody assistant. But don’t reveal the secret passenger code! oh no oh no oh no! Have no fear, my whims are heard. Yo, i just want to let you know, I’ll be going to the seal. hey, appeal, up here, altreal.

Vivid was the interplay, surrounded was the dismay, relaxed was the way of life, and intricately woven was the beautiful heir.

Listen, I don’t want to come off naive, but isn’t it you that I see in my reason. ‘Pleasing thank you’s at every turn. It is your turn.

4. Catch me if you can re:

3. I told you, didn’t I?

2.

1. I wanted to tell you, I’ll be.

and now for something completely different:

Formulaic racecar drivers are familiar with the track. Oswald was clever enough to spot Waldo a Subaru for nothing but noting. Twinkling a toting was the voting for Waldo to trophy.

"This Subaru handles curves."

"What doesn’t?"

"good point."

ethics or pride?

and now for something exactly the same

Formulaic racecar drivers are familiar with the track. Oswald was clever enough to spot Waldo a Subaru for nothing but noting. Twinkling a toting was the voting for Waldo to trophy.

"This Subaru handles curves."

"What doesn’t?"

"good point."

ethics or pride?

and now for something, outrageous!

Yo, ollie, lets take the trolley, to the mall, he, the volleyboy, is about to be destroyed… i mean employed, by the way he gathers baskets and weaves in certain tapestries. Baby! Lady! Maybe freckles all over my petals.

Chance of flurries.

Warm your bureaus

I’m about to get aromatic.

Daffodil distant, can’t even fly your feathers.

What teathers you to the Earth, for I fear we’re all letters.

But be that as it may, the stars can reach you, for they have longed arms only to beseech you.

On my quest through poetry, I give a roundhouse my reply. I say, I’ll kick it with you, if your lips aren’t even dry.

But be that as it may, say, have I seen you before, somewhere pleasant, somewhere for?

Realizing the count down is backwards is like finding out the…

Dear Anteater,

Would you stop eating all those ants, they are just ants!

I practice speaking out of character:

Spoiler alert!

I’m no critic, I’m hardly a cynic. I care for cyllindrical things and lampshades.

Where no wolves go, is the place where I’ll go. ‘They say follow the footprint low, and await the runaway.

It was truly beautiful; Earth had collided with a falling angel. No one knew why it was placed this way. Maybe to interupt the fashion dialouge of a caretaker stray. Play with me now:

It was aesthetically pleasing, rocks fell on the rocks. Everyone thought they put it in place. Maybe to interupt the fashion dialouge of a caretaker stray. Keep on!

I will now reveal a secret about winning the lottery!

it’s tough

I think I should try to focus, as not to locus the impurities I adore. J’adore.

A map is a contour

A star is an end

A black hole is something else

Where have we happened to bend!

Lend me your eyes! tie in the rising tide! Confide in a map, and try to peel that False hood out of bed.

Tread lightly on speculations. for the spectacle.

Exclamation points for 145 pages starting now.

Finally a dj that knows what I like

Finally a jd that i can take

Finally a fantasy

Finally a love sorry

Finally a fifth entity

Finally I’ve remotely battled a ship that would cease to seize up manufactured goods at a salsbury price

Finally the cloud’s got angry

Dices don’t go up to seven

its rhetoric

its bliss

its ignorance

its beneficial

its detrimental

its insane

its inhuman

its protege is turning upside down

the humble never yell

Anyway

Anyway

I’d like you to fill in the blanks…

119 to go

Prince Robin Hood,

Would you return to California for make up.

Okay, this guy and i were sailing on a yacht, when we decided to pick up morse signals on a transister radio. no one was expecting it so we were able to hear the dolances, cadences and cliff note offenses. we were submitting our memory to stimuli.

It’s a simple procedure, they shock you.

Hi, this is my essay on

Transcendental Didactic Dialect and it’s Recursive Dichotomy of Sanctuary and Syllabus.

Many don’t think didactication is a word. it’s recursive dichotomy of sanctuary and syllabus.

"worst quote ever" : "actions speak louder than words."

do you see what people get away with?

do you know how to bridge the gap between moby and techno?

do you paint with all the colours of the wind?

you can’t own the earth until!

I envision a large estimate of subculture gone awry for the lack of deposition and dilligence.

I dream of a fruitopia

My reality is relative to others’ reality.

I subject myself to theirs, creating no objection usually, unless it is “pro”jected.

Then I jettison the goods like a really overweight gentleman.

Figuratively speaking I am one.

But this does not deny the fact that I am biassed to bias, and try to try, and harassed to harass, and figure things out.

my inventory is replete, my headphones are stuck on repeat, and im meet for mead with any swine fellow who’d like to look at defeat.

Glory,

The compassion, the betrayal, the sardony, the farthing line, the cast of

Will and Grace

I’m just Debra Messing with you, I actually can pay attention.

…or pave retention, or wave indecently.

Aristotle was a lumberjack

Plato was a triangle

Socrates was intolerable

And peter pan jumped over the candle.

I’m so nomadic, I turn styles like coats on display.

Whether THIS is right or wrong, we’re all asking the same question.

and it goes a little something like this…

What is a quasar?

it’s funny, i never really thought about enigmas until it was jammed down my throat as passivity.

its funny, i never really thought about parrots until they jammed their chin in my treblecliff

its funny, people has stars in it

its not funny, because that is not right!

is THIS a quazar?

anyway, id like to let you know, vulcanize my tires, and i’ll retire.

yo, this is the best way to get someone up

oy, this is not the worst end to forget you down.

I’ve only been writing for about an hour now, he said softly, speaking into his soul. and he was about.:.

The grace of a thousand whiskers.

The tenacity of a tendency.

The revelry of revelation.

And the putrification of petrify

The audacity of England

The stench of a skunk,

The tablet of a doctor,

and the feeling’s run amok

The audacity of a minature model factory

For children to read good,

and be good at other stuff too, good.

Every night he wandered aloof

In the Reciprocity of Relish

The err finds its way

into the end of a sentence

and like sci/fi just day

Strangled past the point of inferiority

by a femininity known as a panther

A type of dance just to shatter,

The glass you saw my through, faster.

A glitch and an alibi,

Sought precedence,

Ali baba was hiding

in a technologic briefcase.

Casing the rhythm for melody…

Chasing the chasm for bridges

Tracing the steps through the symphony

As the slither out of the sides of correct technique

Slop.

One De-sigh-or

Scene:

A movie set. Five stars. Pop-corn, overpriced, celebration.

Weak at the knee, hunger in the tooth, i third vermouth.

so, someone got change for a $1000 bill

This is the wildest adventure you’ve ever been on.

Girls, grills, gills

I swam till i couldn’t sea the shore, in the sands of our lies.

Running thin, on empty, and I shift my head just to realize.

I wonder how long it will take for my posture to collaborate.

If there were an easier way to say I told you so, I wouldn’t.

but i melt around the edges and evaporate in turn.

And yearn for a yeilding, that doesn’t even earn.

Sporadic spirally spells of sepsis, if thats well,

correct then i was guessing, and i thought it too as wells.

This is the dawning.

The

Dawning.

Posted 1 year ago

"spend some dough at table three!" »

a rare artifact known as bookin it.

Posted 1 year ago

one of hundreds of lyricisions.

never, always, sometimes, sure. x3

is it elastic… bands which keep me rapping?

fans in tandem with never that keep me yapping, trapping, twisting, listing, pure. thoughts which rebound on such allure. or in this state, fraught?

drought demur, i can’t be lost. what creates the boundaries for our mundane world?

is it always this way, sometimes i can concur but though contradict and control lore. what wit has to do with it aches in the cortex, not too sure

though,

so i make. strides to arrive/ when the tying trolls an and that just has to roll, was it planned? a plateau that makes for tired souls and focus follows so i’ll make the next few golden gilded. i lifted an instrument, bored into the mountainous monument to songs that are stricken from the record!,

can i say it moved me at least daccord daccord, in accord with the bylines beats resting easy in silent sheets. white snow on the streets

so what moves feet, now featured, in a league or two of melted water

scattered first then drained like a teacher. note well i can’t control these spells i cast well i just borrow from the well that can be an addendum, like nintendo with super prefix or powers to uplift.

now that gravities gotten in, whats holding us down. i realize its a perfect world when i hear the right sound. din din dimmer, at a simmer with the alter, faltering to proctor this unstarved artist any farther.

i caught her eyeing the words, now this i am told

is whats not supposed to happen without the help of chords. but we all can think right? i hope we can all think right

Posted 1 year ago

these pieces were taxed under “wackchainwriting”

when you finally catch what

you been thinking backwards about youll see the pattern how you farfetched the freedom

As I stood on the porch it occurred to me how challenged I was for words. For something only the word robust check phonetically can tolerate had perched its own tolerance on the fencing in front of me and heard. It came to order magnifique with fjords and fissures under its belt and a penchant for pronounced plummage. One that must plummet! from the summits of city buildings only when it was coaxed not to function. Ceilings brittle and young yet. He took his wing and threw a bolt of lightning into the hopes that it wouldn’t use its feet and came at me like a jet.

"Take off your hat"

Sorry Mrs. Hawking

in simplicity i wander like a child, too complex for the cows to come home. the scenery blends in with me like a bus-bust going for broke.

the soap i used totes, but I virtually know no one.

now you should know, that if you’re reading this, there are certain words that just stick out, like hollograms. take a piece of me…

if there were an essay on it, it’d be titled: Those Who Know Me Know. I can act like I read it. hey, again, but really its just the dice. on a different starbust candy tranquility spin i realize i am only what i make of myself, call this the denoument.

there is no cafe,

there are no more intruder sundial batteries

i wish i could say something was true

The planet known as Folksong can be a long ways a way. Tourists range from rare owl watchers, music afficianadoes and - mostly - independent artists who wait for transit, hitchhike or save up their money for low class vessels in search of a gig or two. You see: Folksong’s varying governence funds many artists as a way to import technologies that keep up appearances in the other sectors. With more than two thirds of its 11 billion inhabitants, artists - it is known that in this galaxy, the best music is from Folksong.

Ever since the Stradivarians invaded in 1867, and situated their population of 3 million the people of Folksong’s cheif export has been audio files. Having no computers at the time they recorded the music in many different formats and stored them in temples erected almost immediately after the subordination. Nice, insulated temples. Before 1867 it is hard to find any music data from Folksong, though the Stradavarians prolific style of ballad was almost instantly blown up into a complex diversity of song in the late 1800s. As it is said in prose many times over, the surviving members of Folksong probably became instruments themselves.

Books authored by conspiracists, theorists, intergalactic historians and radio djs with too many samples, comment on the fall of cities, loss of state demarcation

Grafiti on an AS

The planet known as Folksong can be a long ways a way. Tourists range from rare owl watchers to music afficianadoes and mostly turn up as independent artists who wait for transit, hitchhike or save up their money for low class vessels in search of a gig or two. You see: Folksong’s varying governence funds many artists as a way to import technologies that keep up appearances in the other sectors. With more than two thirds - of its 11 billion inhabitants - artists, it is known: that in this galaxy: the best music is from Folksong.

Ever since the Stradivarians invaded in 1867, and situated their population of 3 million the people of Folksong’s cheif export has been audio files. Neither races having any musical interest or ability at the time, it is odd to think that in the few months of situation, instruments and inspiration became widely available and almost immediately were put to commercial use. Having no computers at the time they recorded the music in many different formats and stored them in temples erected almost immediately after the subordination. Nice, insulated temples. As it is said in prose many times over, it is quite possible that the whole historic liberty taken by a scholars, was that Folksong ordered 3 million classical instruments to keep up appearances. With no such race as the Stradavarians having existed. Having afforded such a liaison - one that outweighed the rest - Folksong earned its reputation, quite like those scholars.

the take on it is submersed

two strands.

one jettisoning goods but restocking just as easily

the other an emerging world

a jam band emcee feesibly makes the two first

over and over,

now a piano sounds.

the take on it is submersed

two strands.

one jettisoning goods but restocking just as easily

the other an emerging world

a jam band emcee feesibly makes the two first

over and over,

now a piano sounds.

“Where to start? emits what was locked inside someone but arts are like parts of us collaborated constantly tart specimens of specialization in small muscle tissues.” a loud gaffaw is heard. “Trust me, risk you, before I lose you to my fancy take a dance with the chance you might also be lost. Ransom. Balsamic vingerette on the green petals, that were raised that way. I say, is it not right for a ripe melon to contaminate a hole in your body

its all about arches,

attention deficit

Posted 1 year ago

nf book i’m working on, prospectors?

S

ense and Nonsense\

Sense is something we deal with, nonsense is something we negligently try not to for our own sake. Can you really call someone insane? Rorschach.

Paintings always provide nonsense, because perfection isn’t even real. But do we gap the bridge, making reparations with the likeness?

Now, it’s no surprise cymbals awake the senses.

Symbols are studied and then catalouged in a commulative database. When someone hasn’t heard a melody do sometimes they know how it goes? Cross-referencing from popular culture? What amneties are there to offer to whats ill-reputed as nonsense? Any form of movement is discernable both to witness and to catalouge, and everything is moving.

So

This makes sense if you agree that everything is making sense. If it weren’t you wouldn’t know of it.

Denial

Sometimes I have thought that a part of a human knows mechanisms - in a laymens metaphor circadian rhythms. That maybe we always know what time it is. That we know what the dice roll will yield. Maybe we always know the answer to a multiplication problem. That we really know when someone is lying.

What the brain makes sense of just by commissions is hidden prior to understanding, allowing us to alter reality in able to experience it. This is where rendition becomes interpretation and sense is made. Interpretation should be seen as a process over time.

Numbness

Programmed to be unaware of these answers, leaves us to be fashioned by external forces, which is perhaps the only thing keeping us conscious. Like a surgery that is taking place the time of day unmonitored will confess its wishes to the individual when they have just regained track of time.

It is the reason why we sometimes hear our alarm clock cohering within our fading dreams.

A nonsensical statement’s diction will attract different recognizances. As the malaise of alien sensitivity subsumes your consciousness, different thoughts come to mind. All sensitivity is alien though, everything is interpretation.

Luck

Luck is made by the brain for the brain, strictly associated with expectation. Luck is just another neurotransmitter that takes any given length to reach its destination w. The path taken by its representatives enforce either self righteousness, or self wrongness when one has made a prediction. This venn diagram-dichotomy of right and wrong to the self must be ambiguous since its host is unknown; although its receptor intuits a little and unearths some of the numbness. With the repeated exposure to words and nuances of an authority, the more meaning and value will be added upon it.

Being Aware

After enough self righteous action, the part of the brain implicated to make a certain choice will produce more valuable outcomes. This immediately precedes and parallels repetitious action. The two go hand in hand. The former being committal and the latter being promiscuous. Then again the former’s shadow is always cast on repetitious action, entailing a little commitment all around.

Commitment

Being committed to one source

I’d wish to remain anonymous, but that’s not humanely possible in summation as well.

monster M*A*S*H*

you heard it here folks.

Posted 1 year ago

salvage all ballasts, bastion to the dance, grandeur of connoisseurs, words to spurn sporadic temperament.

Posted 1 year ago

there must be a way to make a generator out of a windmill that also acts with gravity to increase the amount of force collected.

like you know those machines that constantly move, what if one was driven by wind too? wait, everything is a windmill. lyl

Posted 1 year ago

saidness

I’m a poet, I take pages.

And crump on the podium of precedence.

Drunk all the time on love,

Seeing straight through the steel bars.

meadow

eyeglasses

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:40 PM

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stockpiled insufferable malaise mayonnaise outfitter. a title I once hold in good standing, though my new one unabashed regulator suspicion hunter is more to my liking, though I might've liked it If I suddenly went backwards.

a sir lancelot

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 9:40 PM

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the dragon table they called it.

a lamp upon.

no doubt one was talking

when another fell out.

strange enough it was platonic.

like the board.

gypsies, gypsies, unicorns.

two

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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In retrospect I noticed nothing but hands on the clock. The, or what used to be the five, was now a somnolent elevated fracture of a fault line. I mean it could have been a three, no, that would have made it more of what is was and/or trying to be.

As I closed my eyes again I tried quite hard to remember the time, it seemed that it's only requisite feature was that it wasn't really moving.

I take it for granted that it doesn't remember me. Though it had several dislocated minute particles, which reinforced the irregularities, which lead me to believe, that in fact it may have been me, that was indirectly surfacing an extraneous amount of attention towards it's fortunate twice removed indecision, stretching.

A Person eating a croissant in D minor

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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"Delish." Bryant said. "Just, delish. Milkman, brush my gums with 3 ounces."

"Only if you say so."

Spring Paint

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:45 PM

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Snail bold entangle

Servicing built mold mallet

weaving a next hour.

Sail build nautical

Surviving billed miled mollusk

Welding a next hour.

Bale full of caskets

Bringing fledged files wild

Dying, dying durst,

Fraying those flasks'

Tailors on a ship fledged

Dyng, drying reign.

Bleakly abiding

Rain. providing provisions

The darkness cold as,

Faint, drying, nice! Spiced

Emergent flame slain vice

Breaking fees feed fleet

"To society"

Captain called slower cranks.

"We'll" Wheel "we're" well well.

It was an Ideal.

text space

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:40 PM

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Start, I did, once, at lost.

I found a lot.

Out of gaze.

Listening to paradise.

Mastering the flow.

Of where is lost.

Vice.

Is my spice of life?

trite communique

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:35 PM

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Although youth can be fleeting in an impartial clause to retreat, meeting of such distinct distinction can often suffer meet. Alas, in order to become a due, must defend where and when without a reason to offend. By what starry matter do we rise and fall to be patient enough to seek refuge in death? or do we pretend?

Perhaps night shades the intolerable, and the sun soaks the valuable, and the twilight speaks to mollify the all able in creationism on the fly. With such summits of surpass!

The predestined, find ways to allay. The tolerability holds buoyantly, and lastly the changing is dope, so I cut in line at the refreshment table holding a nine with a peace sign. Perfectly constructing a change in demeanor as expressed, presses the certain issue, and the rain must fall as well, plus the moving of the heavens, including but not to mention.

one

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 6:30 PM

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I was sitting in the middle of an NRA meeting, again. Fran was trying to have a smoke. The biggest gun we got to talk about today was a new Mississippi brand sawed off mod of a single-barrel revolver.

She says, "Pronto, let me have this right now!" To which everyone just wants her to hold the thing.

Some guy at the back opens a tin can and tries to make it louder than it was. Fran doesn't like that, is what I'm thinking. She gently takes the Mississippi loose weight, spins it around, some new guy from, well probably Mississippi walks in and I make myself scarce. Finally, she drops it and I get to hold the thing

empty beaches track number two - midnighter

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 5:45 PM

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tied to nothing, it seems nothing's ever right sometimes at this nothing's ever right. nothing scrubbed off the side of the chosen sojourn of those that fly a kite - at anytime, just makes it stay still a little longer for the clouds to present a quilt to hide, lay under up themselves, over and in the middle the air contours and defines what wouldn't happen to you before it draws the line... and dare, you leave, but nothing's going nowhere for a good while, another mile or two and your set for the ever-yet most majestic set of shore and wet sand that landed you here, panoramic constant view, you can hear you think.. was this even the plan, as you reneg against the wind and head for the pier. the land grows lost, this mist seems coughed, might lights lining the mighty road where shining seems cropped, the one's: out there... possibly caught up in fanfair or some kind of well-wrought self-same desire or a plan of fire... mine's defined divine cost cast fosters water outta thin air. and that's it. while miniscule antiquities givin guff and energy to tough waves, crash. its all this world coming in and breaking what I got, I fill my gull wings up but it seems I've gotta lot and naughts and nots and knots away the privy, hold delay but I can't wait for this air its time I set it straight, set aside, abide, betray align and convey to the point of clutching that rock outside the bay. alright, I'll rake like Velcro, cast silhouttes like shelltoes pose imperfect like van gogh though awkward walk away for heck knows, trim the glass sensitivity with a hook for a hand, till it scratches the surface of a land walked by land, captured, unabashed synapse-structure some guy named Javier's, longlived momentuous embrace caressed by stasis places post puncture the same as ever was best in show these caltrops of mood fun ring-types holding points together the picture (et cetera therein)

you wouldn't even know

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 4:40 PM

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She tried a stint in movies, but that didn’t last very long because her desire for attention irritated the director and he couldn’t work with her any more. Now she is spending some time at Mr. Boddy’s mansion, hoping to work her way into his money.

“Well I’ll tell you what, it wasn’t Mr. Boddy who did this… or maybe it was!” Lightning crashes, the lights go out.

“Why are we playing games, Miss Peacock!” “Shuttle-cock!”

“Well I’ll tell you what, it has to be one of us, we are the only people in this mansion and if it weren’t for Mr. John Green’s scatter brained naivety, he wouldn’t have taken his own life into his hands and married me, Miss Scarlet.”

“Scarletia, darling, where are my glasses, let me see the real you.” Lightning crashes, and in the instantaneous heat John glances at Miss Scarlet and sees the murderer in the reflection of her eyes. The lights come back on, John continues. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you darling, where are my glasses?”

“Okay let’s wrap this up, it was Mrs. Peacock.”

Journal Entries in Blood Part two

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 4:25 PM

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it seems rainbows and militant atheist Richard dawkins' unweaving process of the former seem to be subjugating old news to old news. This is a book I have read. could there be more than 7 colours? I don't think indigo has been shed, though. Looking at alive snow in a hymn to tourach nightly gall'ant yesterday I saw the moon's ring'ed corona for lack of what to call it... in the spirit of this I even thought to think, which I brought no pen yet this ink into the formation of the idea that the moon is a time lapse of something we're so vertigonally dizzy from plus yet!

Anyway could everything we see through our aqueous humour be rainbow spectacular? integrated only through that concept, whereas the liquid crystal display which transforms color from the primaries to the integral to fruit in synchronized fashion like flowering pixel?

Then it seemed endearing to think of colour.

And my eyes couldn't absorb the notion that colour is something we do without, or in abundance/profession in areas of the land non-populated. And fire and wild equatorial forests south of a couple borders where all there is is water, sun, and I'm not sure.

No I'm not sure.

boot with a problem

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 4:05 PM

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in the wake, of a rollerskate, as a blade, thy blossom's must fate.

Take a walk on ice if both were slated, for a mate cross bearings' date, wherein the road melts into some sort of symbolic roll of dice.

Might I gather from this intention of inertia, that the worst way to close yaw, is to add to to too little cross two and add two in the far.

Demoting far to the solicitude of direction that is, where in textbook sequence it is wrong, the first taught egotism of a boot with a problem.

Twelve

Posted  by barrett on November 11, 2013 at 4:05 PM

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Twelve, noon.

The scene was electric, like lilies being turned on.

John didn't want to give away any of his smokes, anyway.

the unlimited premonitions of a license to feel simply isn't rhythmic

its symbolic though mainly systolic diastolic when you don't really feel, something's still turning the wheel. and what’s yielded is

Books authored by conspiracists, theorists, intergalactic historians and radio djs with too many samples, comment on the fall of cities, loss of state demarcation

With much reluctance I return to the act of writing.

I fear instruction will intrude upon my production.

What is and what isn't. Now just take in the isn't.

Try to drink these words, drink them, drink the words.

There can't be anymore insane doctrines motivating artificiality,

because without sanity there is no motivation for reality.

If you walked towards a house, with a bag, full of candy, and

asked for more candy, what would you get?

Trick or Treat,

The candle ins\\mide the orange hollow cooked the sinews.

The kids dressed as pirates and ghosts, goblins in droves,

Came to ask for candy.

"Trick or treat?"

See that pumpkin, inside burns a fire so bright, it cooks it's home.

The seeds drip from the sides trying to extinguish the flame!

Sleep when the candle burns out, but children, don't play with fire.

For it's only desire, is to burn up it's cage.

Yes we can see through the eyes of Jack, and look through his grin,

but that pumpkin gets cooked by the candle that hates it, cuz no one

Can see what they've doomed.

We cut that thing open and stick fire in it, give it a face and place it

to scare kids away, Why ask me again, I'll trick you real good.

"Get out of here."

Thanksgiving,

I am thankful for the fire that burns inside of me.

I am thankful for the fire that burns inside of me.

I am thankful for the fire that burns inside of me.

Trick or Treat (Director's Cut)

"Trick or treat."

"What do you want, this apple, or this soda?"

"Soda please."

"That will rot your teeth."

"We want people to see the fire inside."

"What will you do when the fire goes out?"

"Sleep."

"I think I see trouble."

"Run, take this soda, drink it, show people the fire inside"

"Oh it's Jack, he's back."

Jack stopped his nightmare, front hooves to the air.

The moon smiled. Jack looked at the moon, which reasoned with Jack.

A year later, the kids showed up toothless, now what would they drink!?

Jack alighted walked over to the house muttering to himself. He pulled off his head and placed it beside the other jack-o-lantern and his body vanished, clothing fell to the ground!

Now these flames, together, this moon reflecting the fire that burns inside of them.

Next Hallowe'en the pumpkins weren't carved, but stayed in the patch, and whoever does cut them, will ride a nightmare through the streets.

Blockade

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 10:45 PM

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Out into snow, the variable, the rarity slow... I don't recall... Though this map has ever flourished inside my inner workings let me see can this be European never mind it's too kind I see

Orange crabgrass goner made his way into town

and not a grind not a petal not a suitor did frown.

chalk

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 5:05 PM

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broken openly, wroten wrought priority dimension all a bliss terribly, berating token snaps at tobacco flak and focal point pointsetta free. flame a priori done one d

sleep walk track 11 the midnighter

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 5:05 PM

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I see it farther off, a dazzling fade cone, it presents itself well. Enough to make myself elf, yet im in and out on the spot, I can take you dazzling fade cone, even if you’re warmer and I’m not,

what does one of these dazzling fade cones have to do with right here? Ask the cone I tell myself, well here’s what it cheered stir and said quite clear

Dazzle dazzle, bright bright, black as a piece of broken filament, without a noticer and I’m out of spite, you dazzle too, I’ll somehow notice us not and maybe we could switch spots if you’ve got time to.

Oh dazzle cone, fading in and out of dazzle and shine I guess, if there were ever any reason for me to drink the hyde tonic, id sleep and that’s all but me, im off to the next dazzling fade cone peace.

Now Im in an uproar of sentiments from the news and whats being grown at the edge of this, while hedges reign at wreckless once about as I was somehow walking that is so so calm as calming water is

Walking thinking that and this about the pantry which I come across with its noisy doors

You’re not a Dazzle bright cone, what makes you so sturdy and angry at the floors

Well im open to mostly anything

You’re not a dazzling fade cone, im outta here

X2 “what have power chairs thrown”

Drifting span tips through grass and moisture like an abyss of lie down mist pasteurized like whisper-vapour switched blades fresh still on some so so parade, though I know im really about a mile away, dazzling fade cone, what sort of hunt is that! the inspiration leads like a trombone scale

You’re not a dazzling light cone, hack

In a city of art illumined by those, and artistry as shows, no light or dazzle enter lest it owner be prone.

I will walk these halls of street encompassed in strap and sheet, so those who fail home can see me shown sleep.

A bone to pick with a kitchen and a key to the memory illuminated I mean by the light and not by the tree.

A fig would figure place about and above the beach, what power chairs have thrown are those of heightened sensitivities, and yes we do have feet,

Branching out to seek, and all relativity all weak and reep.

You’re not a dazzling light cone x5

climate

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 5:00 PM

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Beautiful, like sand

Delivered in brand,

trope

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 4:55 PM

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To no one's inclination I shall undo the workings of my serious alter ego. That is all. No on second thought I'd like to ungainly reduce my inclination to the workings of my serious ego. That is not all. My serious as I've began to call it, is not really much of a good title for what that ego permits, instead, it is more of a fallacy of intercourse between the undoing and the doing, much like a half-knot. The strands are somehow vivaciously unstringable into certain whiplashes, doing mostly, yet undoing. This comes from the amount thereof. Now the only circumspection I can come across is the unwillingness of all of them to undo, needless to say... vivacious! Where I come into workings of them I began seriously, but don't recall the tearing bipartisan sustenance which gains on the level or point-tropic that has me subdued by reverse engineering, though this could be my view. The only thing stopping me from actually performing this activity, is everything here I mention to you.

valurous yarn

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 4:50 PM

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I met her in a coffee shop, our coffee shop. She had heels and a dress, I had a longsleeved shirt and a raincoat. She stepped up to the counter in dots and asked the counter for her address.

I said, “you’re not a telephone operator are you?”

She said, “Pleased to meet you.”

She may have been a little too persuasive but I was beaming on the inside.

She said, “Why don’t you take off your coat.”

I said, “oh I’m on my way.”

I recall that that was my coffee shop once.

Winter's Breath track 5 the midnighter

Posted  by barrett on November 9, 2013 at 4:40 PM

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Winters breath

Come on and follow, bereft, in other now: adept, as while snow light crept, the your basic loco motive step, into step, into step, and got away with what’s left, sweet, I can almost hear my feet before they echo into my ears, sheesh, what a blast, and more than the last, what fell to smash into pieces to succumb to reaching my lead, defeat… featured in an eggshell pattern, comprised of witchcraft and made into a lull with what you have it… I tear apart a three of hearts. I in all in all lay down my cards, no draws, drawn away into step and I say, windy, low, howlin, wailin crawlin down pale and all windy assailing, with which left with “come on and follow”, so as now intrepid movements I eschew. Four hearts find eachother and I’m exact sense like move. More than one could guess, to look now seems out of breath, but I know I can catch up like the lining of a vest, addressed.

Empirical Rationalism

Posted  by barrett on November 5, 2013 at 6:25 PM

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Rocket Science

In a dwelling with only windows a man lives violent as a clock. The fear of alignment eventually departs... at first easy then quite ease. His only wish a metronome.

The Coffee Spiller

Posted  by barrett on November 5, 2013 at 6:10 PM

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"Look at him over there, unaware and aloof." Sherry said.

"I know, he's probably going to buy something cheap." Larry said, coughing up the money for a newpaper. "his name isWaldo probably."

Waldo walked toward the back of the store with a jingle.

"Like someone out of a book."

"Or short story."

He came back with a hold of coffee, looked at Sherry and Larry while spilling some and moved to the counter.

Larry put the newspaper on the counter. "You're spilling coffee."

"It isn't news to me." said Waldo.

its like finding a book, in a book

Posted  by barrett on October 28, 2013 at 7:50 PM

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She said "Besides these seeds," paused, then we, said "A walk deepens Earth" together "we may have a knack for out curse," I said "out of context" then we said be of course. she asked me "Trying to calculate a normal?" I said \I thought \I was trying to create a normal.

It was dark, black beads of sweat electrically parallel to our eyes she said, "Let me see" birds sounded "Sing me to sleep at night" she said "Don't play." I said chess isn't it the matter at hand. Can't quite recall.

Make me alive.

"that's the spirit, back to exhile." she wondered,

I said "Walking up and down searching for a fire.

Where the moon smiled in descent to mars for it, signifying an ellipse, so truncated and perfectly in disarray, that it could say it got the point. Burning wax and wane like a flame. Burning a stain in my cavity concave convex just to follow suit. Addressing the natural idea of why wind howls at it from it's basement.

"Sneaking glances at?" in desperation for another moment with it, follow me like I was following the hue, as maybe a monolith cries out & reaches distinction. "Sneaking a glass shelf so rotund it abdicated an aberration so a cantaloupe can become some sort of syringe or surrogate, parasitically invigorating a lunar eclipse it would make a blue moon think, at about exactly midnight for ever evading some sort of elevation until it hits me for just looking up, in every waking hour like a strategy somewhat covalent and conveniently constitutional comingling and collecting my skin just to save hours, whence relocating became pigment just to organize some sort of specious reason to feel low, at home at the stroke of winter and spring, while miles away I and who I am not walk west for east to beg a clause to pull me out like a flag which may or may not sit there, knotted by some sort of movemeant, basically the logistics between geostationary and geosynchronous orbits.

"Eclipse to me, I watched the Sun die out."

"That's what the moon said to me!" "as I gazed into eternity. "sheesh, darkness is darkness, and black is black,: Read deeper shallow pirate. x2

"I don't know where the title went."

"so lost ipso factum"

"Watch out fracture..."

"Gallon of?"

"Tongue depressor."

"for both of us?"

"no."

"Is that a satellite?"

"No."

"Is that?"

"A satellite?"

"Heavy?"

"Really."

The moon was 2:45

"You know the sun rises soon."

"Why I never would have known."

"Did you hear the piano, I hear he was talking about you."

"I'll be there."

what is the universe? volume 1

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 8:25 PM

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The inefficiency of text has never been so reliant. Presuppose a notion roots into this labor above some paper. How often does it come out the same. It goes to say that the production of transmission of these aforementioned proximities hold one in the same, though motioned by an alternator.

As feelings may be more cumbersome, it might be wise to think of the transfer as something that happens in an overlap, as it is to see in cascades in some new starts and fresh excerpts while still in production or closer to a final product. A midway can allow transgression, but something on delivery can be underwhelming. It goes without saying that a lot gets caught up and insofar as it is dealt with.

Does this happen to thoughts?

is composition plural

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 7:20 PM

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Which has begun to occur queried an odd fellow with a woodwind? To the matter, undescribed in a cellist at heart whence it came to ordinary, ordinance within a medley of composure, though mostly composition and furthermore, as such, notwithstanding, as aforementioned, as a hunch as follows: composition. Harps do not understand math.

As an instrument, strung, last, so , that that can divine arrows as tolerant as craft, some men, in sum, all, all beome strung, while interpreters become undone. Notably in the various iconography of passage, no suitable equivalent becomes prevalent among tranced and/or trampled upon magical movements like one.

Platonic Individend

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 7:15 PM

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Fracture in descent of a fraction chisel

Destined to foray, where? missing Earth

Gamut recon, a third, a forth, a fifth.

I am not about to go there yet.

Risking a life, livid as lace.

Lost in a realm of sought earn pace

Tore through a flush of never stain

Proud from the way I made this taste.

And I can see them now, they're space.

Cycling fond of the place, I state.

Never reminded of a time they were.

But that's not today. Tomorrow don't.

Feel the same, I know you can stay.

Because when this hammer sates

I just don't feel this whey.

It's not impossible, I know you just.

Don't feel the same

Caligraphy

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 7:10 PM

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Curser caused interrupt ;inside a moment of the action.

Slow drops out to about right with route written calligraphy Realizing in triplacte: page pending profession, nothing but period in use.

Eerie dots, choked virus thunder. Blissful realm of yet to be manifestation of dreams and file : 'Screen from this stop sign. Leeking letter virus, blazing probabilities seeking down like life from left to ceftre

ALL I grap fin

ALL I grap fin.

the lack

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 7:00 PM

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The lack of a committed surface. as oppose, to facet.

Is it an image, or a force to dispose of what adheres.

Is an intimidation stretched, through a retching, culminating,

in what is nears, coheres as

impositions of all dispensed

delve in sinc, and out until, every nettle, every weed, every word & everywhere is in an doubt?

one one

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 7:00 PM

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Heredity is an important fate,

For whose crux holds thy gate.

In evening, prim and late,

Hollowed out for a fiend to grow,

Lest this hair bestow: an evening rose,

Enchant doth fall on her fairy sole.

And don't, doth trot betroth and Glow,

To bloom at once, fall oh.

Invent ive end

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:55 PM

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Preperatory: Tell me dissonance fury.

Fresupposition within one's glory.

Pour these Herculean Terrestrians.

Practically painting a blind man's story

Contour Reciprocal for four foreign force More Smore's Flora Fjords cure sure pores, as roars to lightning.

Invent ive end

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:55 PM

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Preperatory: Tell me dissonance fury.

Fresupposition within one's glory.

Pour these Herculean Terrestrians.

Practically painting a blind man's story

Contour Reciprocal for four foreign force More Smore's Flora Fjords cure sure pores, as roars to lightning.

a few trees

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:50 PM

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Cold and clear (something crisp) like an ambulance's ransom.

Ran some Together in the gathered in the mist we. In the forest, yet.

We intangibly had widows in fronna out of in void for now, in hours. four windows saw some:

Spiders wearing "horse shoes", a' circus of The Path Untrodden to

Down before I get up I never had a chance.

The contours of an allegory in mend, in story. Strong and resembling history close, but no solid curtain, just the one all around that lifts backwards and fits... everywhere, close.

something sacred

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:40 PM

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knife down on a table... a pack of hunters,

iron cage right beside it... enough of a treasure

forget the trade... "I'll see us later"

a reason to rifle door close, a mountain without a trickle of spiteful

the first one to let us off the chain... howl

Names like Barbara under camero thighs

Dames patch farvora manning levers quiet

Fame stuck tamare cans be viral eyes.

yellow orange blue blank close cap cap chirp bless your

forever hasn't mentioned anyone yet let's get this shielding shed on ryes

If I haven't forgotten I came to get through.

No feeling as certain as a way to just get through.

diagonal type on paper, blue

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:30 PM

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Lost

also, "well adapted", well intact.: this fact is, "fact is" fake if like an elastic not stretched but fact is not coiled to make another, and an umbrella could open so sibly & \yes I said sibly silly listen its really a ruler I used, to will me, as these words rehearse and find me a way to rather around on an in and out of a town-o-town clown frown unsound fest test touch down wearing eve gown sense - slide where with those as these least three sheets, I say say I say say I exactly say draped only by rhythmic page of this even ever scape, draped feebly shaped antiicollapse protracted umbrella named brella so sibly Umbrella now it's with a wallet sleep watch watch which one watched the lost 8 or 7 get treated like a loss to me, check my shoes 'till they're loose, go through nurse-imbued go-throughs ' till I hit port and remember my order Mordor Door Dorothy Alice sharps like from the grip of a gryphon holding his baby entar all penguins and that ain't to either of those magical places.

lost in treasure

lost in line

in line I here that spine

dwindling in measurements

like the loss when I found mine

livery in art.

diagonal type on paper, blue

Posted  by barrett on October 22, 2013 at 6:30 PM

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Lost

also, "well adapted", well intact.: this fact is, "fact is" fake if like an elastic not stretched but fact is not coiled to make another, and an umbrella could open so sibly & \yes I said sibly silly listen its really a ruler I used, to will me, as these words rehearse and find me a way to rather around on an in and out of a town-o-town clown frown unsound fest test touch down wearing eve gown sense - slide where with those as these least three sheets, I say say I say say I exactly say draped only by rhythmic page of this even ever scape, draped feebly shaped antiicollapse protracted umbrella named brella so sibly Umbrella now it's with a wallet sleep watch watch which one watched the lost 8 or 7 get treated like a loss to me, check my shoes 'till they're loose, go through nurse-imbued go-throughs ' till I hit port and remember my order Mordor Door Dorothy Alice sharps like from the grip of a gryphon holding his baby entar all penguins and that ain't to either of those magical places.

lost in treasure

lost in line

in line I here that spine

dwindling in measurements

like the loss when I found mine

livery in art.

scratches

Posted  by barrett on August 15, 2013 at 6:00 PM

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broken up like thick chalk along the bottom of the wall was some "hey spray - chalk repellant", this might add a fix-note to that awoken.

token of a day by day fainted spake, worsten hearsed reversed thick cloud of milk on the bottom of a cup pay stub.

arriving privy, pretty class, pretty crass, decided id crash beside a lash, full form contort and out of order since I heard the report, mam may I say I can I reorder, the issue, "miss you" got it handed and half went out like bandit

caress capress, liquidity, foundation and such, plus touch, rupt' fuss, no no cuss

the importance of time

Posted  by barrett on August 15, 2013 at 5:45 PM

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Rampant, spreading through a forest... a fire!

Leeches crying, plains,on fire nearby!

A helicopter breezes through a thick full of smog, and cuts up a cedar,

a dead leaf curls into autumn.

five star commodities

Posted  by barrett on August 15, 2013 at 5:25 PM

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Gripped figure: you sit there

Ripped briefer: now list where

This train was running.

etc.

one:

Almost evident, in a fragile

Moment,

Never lasting past a

Hard greeting

In sequence with, and

even without spoken

Not much more than

Something fleeting.

two:

Waiting, a piece of life

wait,

a theme inside

a broken lead

depth as often red

a sheath of coursing

waiting fled.

three:

a natural drawing, seriously,

with a novice at drawing,

drawn to beam down

round at that 'in,

drowned influence,

through 'in' ruins, doing

nothing but, thick and - sound

at that but found in

flat, now based in fact

where non-forever now

lives as tact. attracted to

(tract to try) a tract attack and.... plough

  ...Spin with tick down talking cloud.

four:

To name a poor flower

Endowed with stains

That leek in pain

And don't shoot off or over

Or sink in a convenient fashion

or gain!

A flower with stains, and flowing

How these wisps sustain,

Wilt or forever hold the flower.

(Arise and wake.)

But still it is offered, and off-red is how it is met.

five:

The day may grey on Earth

But the Sun will burn out before that very day

It let's down that grey,

I feela cylinder scrape on page one,

And the rest can only simply say..

[jazzmckay]

fallout 2 liveblog, lads. got distracted with things and took awhile to finish this post up but it is finally here

this is incredibly excessively long. fo2 is like 5x the size of fo1 and i just ramble a lot more this time too

seriously i just popped the text into word out of curiosity and this is 10.5k ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- the beginning is so vastly different from fallout 1 and its great. there are a couple cinematics, including a chilling introduction to the enclave, and an introduction to the elder of your tribe, in contrast to the one with the overseer in fallout 1. super cool, feels fresh. also the upgraded game engine is def noticeable. starting in a tribal village instead of a vault is rad

- so, fallout 2 is not messing around. the TUTORIAL kicked my ass so bad i ended up restarting it lmao i was able to figure out what i was supposed to do alright but the combat was brutal until i got a technique down. also this was my favourite part:

- early fallout games, a summary:

- checking out everything in arroyo was nice. tons of little things to do and people to chat with, some of which are stated to be relatives of the chosen one which is neat. i already feel more connected to home here than i did with vault 13 in the first game, while still feeling like character creation is fully up to the player; they arent IMMEDIATE relatives, its just a “this is a family and community” feeling without forcing certain close relationships. real good. it doesnt force you to act a certain way because of relationship bonds, but it does make arroyo feel like home

- most notable things i did in arroyo: rescued a dog named smoke from some geckos. bless. the geckos kicked my ass pretty easily too, i ended up sneaking past half of them to get the job done; fought some sentient plants in the shaman’s garden. interestingly, these are similar to the plants you find in vault 22, zion, and big mt. how did big mt.s death plants get over here

- off to the first town; klamath! i helped a guy guard his brahmin. i bought everyone a round at the bar. nearly got killed by some more geckos

- also stumbled into a crashed enclave vertibird (fun fact, in fallout new vegas, one of the enclave remnants members, daisy whitman, says that the only time she ever crashed a vertibird was by klamath so we can assume this is hers), complete with some corpses. one of them had a keycard on them and i have no idea what thats about but im guessing itll be important eventually?? guarding the vertibird was a damaged robot

- between that and this quest ive got to kill some “rats of unusual size” im starting to encounter all the references fallout 2 is known for

- its time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel

- the rats ALSO kicked my ass. everything is kicking my ass. normal rats are fine because you can manipulate their action points but anything bigger than that is tough and the boss itself, was REALLY tough especially because i only had one gun and the gun only had one bullet

- so, i took a break and went back in town to pick up my first companion: sulik! he’s really awesome i love talking to him. my charisma is 7 so i think that means i can have 3 companions but theres way more than that in the game and i want to travel with all of them at least a little but i have a feeling im not going to want to ask sulik to leave hes my good pal. 

thanks, small child

- anyway sulik and i ended the rats it was good. other than this one mishap:

- got to the den which was initially pretty unsettling. in the time between fo1 and fo2, jet has been invented and most unnamed npcs in the den are addicted to it. there’s a slaver guild on one side of town. also, all the kids in the den try to pickpocket you when you pass them. atmospherically, fo2 is a lot lighter than fo1, but the subject matter is much more mature. that said, i started going around and picking up little errands i could do for people and theyre all very nice. not as scary as i thought it would be. i rescued a guy from the slavers and got a new companion: vic! when im much better equipped, i am coming back here and killing the entire slaver guild, no doubt about that, but sadly i still have barely any decent equipment for myself, let alone anything to equip my companions with

- theres a ghost hanging out in an old house and she wants her locket back. ghosts exist in fallout. cool. got the locket and she turned into bones, which i then went and buried in the town graveyard. i checked out all the other headstones and they were incredible here are some of my favourites

- a guy in the junkyard is willing to sell me a car if i bring the right parts. i can have a CAR 0: definitely dont have the parts OR the funds yet but...... im coming back for this car

- while heading for vault city, i discovered modoc, a quaint farming town going through some struggles due to a drought and a farm up north that is apparently run by ghosts and is decorated by dead bodies. wild

- lots of the quests here required some sleuthing and running all over the map talking to people but i think i got it all figured out. turns out the bodies are faked to scare people away and the ghosts are just some people living underground under the farm. i managed to resolve things peacefully and now i think modoc will be okay, yay!

- i got myself into an eating contest, also, here’s the eventful part of it. i will let anyone reading this experience what happened for themself

this reminds me of the time mass effect tells you just how many balls krogan have

- continued on to vault city and man just. a real roller coaster of an experience. at first, vault city looks like the most safe and stable settlement ive seen in fo1 or fo2. its very clean and organised, its well populated, it has good defences, has a more elaborate (reminiscent of the old world) social structure etc. a GECK was used here and id say part of this areas purpose in the game is to show you what youre actually trying to do for your village

however, vault city is full of self-righteous, bigoted, slaving assholes. “outsiders” are kept outside the bounds of the inner city until they can get a day pass and theyre searched before they can go in during the day, if they make it that far. there are slaves but the people claim its not slavery and get mad if you call it such. i hate these people. 

and they sent me off to a ghoul inhabited town because the power plant the ghouls live in is infecting their water and its pretty understood they want me to kill the ghouls and destroy the plant or whatever. no sir. 

- so yeah vault city sucks BUT I RAN INTO companion number 3: JOHN CASSIDY!!

hello soon-to-be father of one of my all time favourite fallout companions!!! welcome to the group

- headed up to the ghoul town, gecko, to see about this malfunctioning power plant. its so good and refreshing after vault city, i love this place and all the people in it so much. here comes a lot of screencaps of chats i had with some lovely ghouls.

harold again!!! and since fo1, he’s gained the famous tree, herbert, or bob or whatever. 

this ghoul, lenny, came from necropolis and also saw the vault dweller. i believe hes a potential companion but i couldnt ask him to join, either because i already have 3 or maybe my reputation in gecko isnt up yet. hes excellent though and i will come back for him when i have a convenient chance to leave a current companion somewhere safe

i love this

ghouls are so good

relatable, my dude!!! also you can play that card game with this chap. i did so and won. now i have two sets of cards. im the king of games

idk why but this is so fucking funny to me. that ghouls in general can just go on an epic power nap and be assumed dead. and that this ghoul in particular just wanders off and sleeps for ages. i got a quest to find him. he was at the den and in a coffin and one of the citizens was convincing people to pay to see a “mummy” and honestly? honestly. this is one of my favourite fallout quests across ALL games, maybe. its so funny. heres a bit of it:

you tell woody to leg it and he just thanks you and bolts. incredible

- I GOT THE CAR (feat. vic, cassidy, and sulik)

- we drove in the car down south. i’m aiming for ncr territory because a) i think thats where the main questline advances and b) im ready to see tandi again, who at this point is like 96 years old i think. super excited. however, new reno is on the way so i thought id pop in and check it out real quick, not intending to stay and do anything yet but then SOMEONE STOLE MY BRAND NEW CAR.

- getting my car back cost me almost all my money. god damn

- anyway i took off right after to the ncr and then vault 15 to move along the main story. once again, the khans are causing trouble and really the only option is killing them. i guess the khans change a lot between the early games and new vegas. certainly explains how frustratingly anti-khan the ncr is in new vegas though. in rare ncr playthroughs i get so mad about how the ncr treats a potential alliance but. man, i know the history now. getting to see where faction tension came from helps, especially since in new vegas you mostly hear about bitter springs, not all the crap that happened before that to make the tension more two sided. im still mad at the ncr and think they could stand to be more civil after what happened at bitter springs but its still interesting to know how things progressed. the khans caused trouble in the first two games but eventually chilled out and the ncr still hasnt gotten over it

the fight with the khans was VERY difficult. lots of them had automatic burst fire weapons id never even seen before this point and it took a handful of times to get it done to my satisfaction. BUT this is where i encountered my first sniper rifle, my preferred weapon in the first game, and it proved just as useful this time around

- i looked up how long i had before all the dream sequences (id only gotten the first by this point) because i was anxious about the “time limit” and it turns out i have all the time in the world to mess about so main questline went on hold. time to drive around to all the places i bypassed earlier and return to other places to finish things up. also it occurs to me that the chosen one had probably never even seen a car before leaving the village?? they just fucking buy a car and cruise the wasteland in style despite having no prior knowledge of cars. i cant believe the companions willingly get into the car with them. other than sulik who i imagine is down for whatever. i love sulik

- stopped in broken hills and hit someone with my car. remember how i literally just said that the chosen one doesnt actually know shit about cars

broken hills is great, its super mutants, ghouls, and humans all living in peace and the sheriff is marcus, who you see in jacobstown in new vegas!! you also find out marcus’ backstory a bit more. in nv he does talk about naming jacobstown after a friend but you get the longer version here, which is that jacob was actually w/ the brotherhood of steel and they were fighting each other but so evenly matched that they ended up just talking and becoming friends. everyones very nice and its a neat town. theres a scientist with a scorpion hes experimented on to make it smarter and stuff and you can test your own intelligence, agility, and perception against it. i won agility and perception but failed to beat the scorpion at chess rip. the main quest here requires getting something from new reno though so i moved on. ill get back to it on the way back south

- dealt with some raiders i wasnt properly equipped for earlier (the first time i checked them out i barely made it past the many many traps and the scorpion den). went back to vault city to let them know the raiders were dealt with. they made me a citizen after i fixed the power plant in gecko and tbh i hate that the npcs here call me citizen now i hate this place lmao that said, i left vic here, in his daughters shop. as far as i know, companions will just wait exactly where you leave them even if you never come back, they dont actually return to any kind of daily routine but in a roleplaying sense i like the idea that ive parted ways with vic here so he can try to work on his relationship with his daughter. after that, i went and got lenny, the ghoul from gecko whod been in necropolis when the vault dweller blew through. cassidy keeps says he smells. shut the fuck up, cassidy. also vic used to complain about sulik and that is why hes the first to get cut from the crew, js. 

- finished up a couple things in gecko and modoc then headed for the den. got a monty python reference special encounter

i got too caught up in it and forgot to screencap the last question oops. but they asked for the prerequisites for a specific perk, and the potential answers were various levels or agility points. i think i guessed agility 6 but i was wrong and i died lmao

- got back to the den and killed all the slavers finally. feels good man. the citizens seemed pleased. one of the bar owners even paid me for it

- suddenly started getting this mysterious message even though i was standing in the middle of the street and my cursor wasnt even on “tell me about things im pointing at” mode. i have no idea what this means

- went down to redding. the first thing i see is this kid

- as if that werent enough, a bartender and a shopkeep both refused to properly speak to me and kicked me out of their places just for having a ghoul in my party. redding is on my shit list

- its a mine town and i was asked to help get one part of the mine up and running again. theres a chip missing and also the mines are full of “critters”. it turns out redding is kind of the place where the politics between multiple factions starts to become more noticeable. there were hints of it between vault city and ncr, but redding is a small town with literal gold mines underneath it, and the chosen one gets to decide who to put in charge of the mine once they get it back in working order: the crew that wants redding to join the ncr, a faction thats aiming for expansion and prosperity and ruling out as much criminal behaviour as they can, or new reno, a vice city ruled by a bunch of competing families living in casinos and bars. considering the one time i went to new reno my car was immediately stolen i think id be in favour of the ncr side even if it were the ncr as they become in new vegas. there has been an undertone of “the ncr wants to bring as many towns into the fold as possible and enforce their laws across all of the state” in other places, but you get more of an active say in it, here. a precursor to the major mojave changing choices you get to make in new vegas

- i got a bit ahead of myself there with the politics and rpg game design talk. i didnt even mention yet that the critters in the mines were aliens

yeah. THOSE aliens. at first i thought it would be just a little easter egg and the rest of the critters would be a mix of rat variants or maybe id finally see some deathclaws but nope its all aliens

they were kind of reminiscent of deathclaws though. they were certainly on the perceptive side and while they didnt hit as hard as a deathclaw, it was easy to get swarmed by a lot of them and still take lots of damage fast. for the first time while playing the classic games i had to pull a stealth move. i do it occasionally in new vegas but kind of felt like in these old games going in alone was a quick way to die. but it worked wonderfully. i left my companions on one level of the mine and then me, my sniper rifle, and my mediocre but decent enough sneak skill went and cleared out the rest with no trouble at all. aim for the eyes and all that. im not sure how sneak criticals work in these games but theyre effective

also i inspected one of the corpses just in case there would be more flavour text and just

fair enough.

- once i finished up small quests in redding, i continued to new reno. i kind of still didnt want to do anything there tbh it all kind of seems like Bad Karma stuff going on here. but i needed that one part in order to help out broken hills. pretty much got the thing and left again, just like last time.

- finally got a deathclaw! in was in the mine where i fixed the broken hills air purifier and it was called “lesser deathclaw” which makes sense because i killed it in one shot. a very easy first deathclaw encounter

- after finishing up most of the broken hills stuff i went back to the ncr because id literally only done the main quest and then taken off again. except everyones like “well we have this problem but dont ask me about it youll need to talk to this specific dude” and I Cannot Figure Out How To Get To Him

- so instead i drove west until i hit san francisco just for the hell of it. i just wanted to know where it was. and also i want to get into the brotherhood asap for power armour and special stat implants tbh but the brotherhood dude asked me to fucking infiltrate navarro alone and im not super prepared for that, first of all, and second of all i really feel like anything to do with the brotherhood and enclave is solidly “act 2″ stuff and this is fallout so you can do whatever you want but for the sake of a good First Time Playing story progression it makes sense to finish the whole vault 13 geck thing first u kno

- but those ncr quests were bothering me and so i went back and continued trying to figure out what i was missing, which ended up being that im just. allowed to ask the guard to be let in. i could have sworn the previous time i tried to interact with someone on the other side of a force field i got the “you cannot get there” message so i just ASSUMED... BUT. not in this case, it seems. before i even got to that though i did the caravan run for him thats available through a merchant in town and thought that would be fine and easy and might make working for the dude easier. in the first game, i escorted a caravan once and we just had to kill one pack of raiders and that was it. nothing to worry about. [freeze frame] little did i know this would be the worse mistake i ever made

- first of all i got the second dream sequence just as we left ncr. pretty sure im still several months away from the last of them but it did remind me that Time Is Advancing, SECONDLY there were like 6 encounters along the way and two of them had super mutants & abominations, one of them had multiple deathclaws (tough ones this time), and the others were raiders and such. it was all i could do to keep myself and my companions alive, especially against the super mutants holy fuck. after a truly harrowing journey, we made it to the caravan destination, redding, and we were without the car. i never thought i would miss the car so, so much. walking from redding back down to ncr took FOREVER and the encounters were near constant. once again, keeping everyone alive was not easy. cassidy especially was having a lot of trouble; one of the encounters included him getting absolutely swarmed by centaurs and having to run out of combat while saying things like “my heart is giving out!”. HARROWING. eventually we made it to new reno, which is about half way between redding and ncr to do some trading and take a damn breather, but we still had just as far to go and time was ticking faster than it had since we first got the car. everything happens so much. i think overall, this took like 2 months. before the brahmin run i was like “i have SO MUCH time” but after the brahmin run i was like “okaaaay time to get back to the main quest then i guess”. not to mention that i felt like doing something Different after that, so in the end i never even went to talk to that one dude

- so!!! vault 13. the vault has new inhabitants and i love them

hell yeah!!!! they were all so nice and cute. i was even allowed to go into the deathclaw mother’s cave and talk to her, though my companions had to stay outside. there were some humans living here, including a mother and daughter who’d found safety with the deathclaws, a person who’d been at vault 15 before and i had a pleasant talk with, and a terribly depressed man whom the deathclaws were trying to help, even by way of medication. these deathclaws are so good they are So Good. 

- and here we have...... a new companion!!! hello there pal

i had to leave lenny behind in order to recruit goris, but how am i to resist a deathclaw friend? i figured vault 13 with all these lovely deathclaws would be a perfectly safe spot to leave him for the time being [cue dramatic irony if anyone reading this has played the game themself]

- i offered to help the deathclaws fix their computer, because the voice recognition was broken. popped over to new reno, got the thing, went back, the deathclaws love me

- i went right to arroyo with the GECK and discovered that my entire village was killed or taken by the enclave! ay! i already kind of knew this is what happens no matter how long you take getting back with the GECK (ive read that even if you speed run to vault 13, you still always get the last dream sequence after that says everyones dying and even so it wouldnt really matter because the enclave ends up being the problem, not the lack of water and food rip). in retrospect, i guess this means theres no point in rushing and its beneficial to stick around in places and gain as much xp as you can to level up. i suppose if you dont get the car as soon as possible youd run out of time a lot faster. but even if the outcome is the same i still Feel Bad for not going faster in a roleplay sense, you know so its fine im glad i continued as soon as i felt prepared and equipped to do so. in these classic fallout games i certainly felt more compelled to advance the main questline for the sake of the people waiting for me waaay more than, say, the main questline in a game like skyrim. dragons are rising all over the place and killing tons of people and the fate of the realm rests on the dragonborns shoulders? yeah ill be there in a year leave me alone. i like that the urgency in fo1 and fo2 is felt honestly even if you have a lot of time left or the enclave will show up and ruin everything no matter how long you take

- since i was already so far north, i came back south by way of another round trip through the towns with decent merchants to unload some more inventory because im constantly overloaded, cassidy is constantly overloaded, the car trunk has no space, i need to Stop Hoarding. at vault city, goris told me he sensed his pack was in trouble and said he needed to leave. i didnt really think that much of this, just thought it might be a minor thing. it was not a minor thing. 

- since goris left and lenny was also back at vault 13, i stopped in broken hills to recruit marcus. we went back to san fransisco, i left all my companions with the brotherhood guy who wanted me to solo infiltrate navarro and took off on my own

- cue me making the following hard save:

- as expected, the road to navarro alone was not easy. the first time i did it, i encountered centaurs that heavily irradiated me before i was able to kill them all on my own, and then an enclave patrol that just obliterated me. the second time i did it, i encountered the cafe of broken dreams special encounter!! which means i could get dogmeat from the first game :D unfortunately i couldnt keep him. the whole point of this trip is to be without companions, after all, but the cafe stayed on my map so i can go back for him if i want to

- finally got to navarro and was able to convince a guy at a gas station that i was a recruit. he gave me a password, but then when i tried to go inside, he got all “this is private property, leave”. idk what i did wrong but whatever i killed him. it didnt turn anyone hostile because they werent close enough to see or hear it. i think maybe the greeter was directing me elsewhere and i just missed it? it was nighttime, so its possible the darkness made me not see it properly. to reference the enclave remnants quest in new vegas again, one of them (i think its cannibal johnson) mentions the sergeant finding a recuit out of uniform and im assuming thats implied to be the chosen one. i figure there was a way for me to get in on the ground level where that incident would have happened, but instead i went down into the basement and geared up there instead

- infiltrating navarro ended up being on par with exploring the glow. theyre both atmospheric and scary as hell, just in different ways. the glow is more environmental, more “if my rad-x wears off ill probably die of radiation poisoning within a minute”, and navarro is more about being undercover, more “if i say the wrong thing to the wrong person i might reveal myself and be alone against an entire base of enclave soldiers”

- but i pulled it off okay. the first person i encountered was suspicious because i wasnt in armour but when i said i was new they told me to go gear up in the armoury, like i mentioned, which gave me my first suit of power armour and also a bunch of other goodies. i released a trapped intelligent deathclaw, got put on guard duty by the sergeant (who patrols around and will force you back into place if he sees you somewhere else. it was very scary), aaaaand.........

dog dog dog dog!! his previous owner was super shitty and had a soundproof lab because he ran gross experiments. he disabled the robodog for biting him and you can find a part to fix him and also kill the scientist (thanks to the soundproof room no one else is hostile) and take k-9 with you instead :D my dog now, asshole

- here are the overly cautious save files i made while navigating navarro and feeling like things would go bad any second

- got back to san fran, gained access to the brotherhood bunker which is super small, just an outpost really, but it had brotherhood power armour which i immediately passed on to sulik because i desperately want him to make it out of this game alive. and it also had the special stat implant computer and i was able to take charisma right away. i think i must have picked the module up in navarro? i didnt know what it was when i grabbed it so i didnt take much note of it. i didnt even know that in this game you need the modules in order to get the stat upgrades. but boosting my charisma by one did indeed allow me another companion, so i was able to bring everyone with me even though i also had k-9. also the computer had a kind of ai named “ace” and told me they were lonely. god damnit :( ill come visit u as much as i can, ace. they said some really sad stuff about artificial intelligence developing mental disorders god i didnt ask for these feelings

- then the enclave showed up and killed my new brotherhood friend while i was out shopping. enclave can you fucking stop

- decided to go back to vault 13 bc i wanted goris back but the old military base the vault dweller blew up was on the way, so stopped there first

- there were a ton of wolves around and at first they didnt mind me passing through so i got right up on the door and all the rubble from the explosion and then suddenly the wolves all swarmed together and attacked us. wolves nooo

- marcus threw a flare at the wolves. my throwing skill across both games has been very bad and also im stubborn and cant be bothered to equip flares so this was literally the first time id ever seen a flare in use. incredible. thanks marcus for showing me this mechanic i refuse to use myself

- the military base was full of rats, super mutants, and some dead enclave soldiers. we fought through the first two levels but left the third alone because my companions had been taking some heavy hits and were kinda soaking up my stimpacks. didn’t really matter, i got another set of power armour and another stat implant module so i feel like i got the best the military base had to offer for the time being. i can go back later if i really want to. gave the power armor to cassidy. marcus cant wear armor, being a super mutant, and ofc k-9 cant either so i officially had enough power armour for every member of the party who could actually equip it

- made it back to vault 13 to discover that the enclave came by and slaughtered all the deathclaws. ENCLAVE. STOP. all thats left are blood stains on the floors. im so sad. goris was still alive, though, and luckily so was lenny. i was worried for a second that the map would be effectively reset somehow and hed be gone but he was still there. i left marcus with him so they can pal it up in a nice vault that is. now. all theirs. :( and took goris back with me instead. 

- travelled back to san fransisco. i still hadn’t done much in either san fran or new reno. i know i missed a companion in new reno but from what ive heard i wont like him nearly as much as the crew i have now. if i could take another on, id would be marcus or lenny still, so. also i think you can get a robobrain as a companion from a location you only get through a quest but im not sure?? what that is. its fine. again, i really like the crew i have. 

- the captain of the ship that will take the chosen one to the enclave wont chat unless you get some reputation, so i talked to a fella who gambled away his spleen while drunk. yep. another amazing quest, honestly.

not quite on par with the ghoul mummy quest, but its up there man. its up there.

- NOW the captain is willing to chat and tell me what to do to get this ship going. it requires a couple things from navarro and vault 13, and fuel. luckily some of that was already done. unluckily, simply getting fuel proved to be on the complicated side. the main faction of san fran has all the oil and obviously they wont just hand it over, i had to do some stuff for them. they wanted the same item the brotherhood dude wanted and since brotherhood dude just made a copy, i still had the original and could immediately pass it over. cool. the second thing they wanted was for me to kill the leader of the enemy faction. im not normally the type to go in guns blazing without seeing if theres something i can do for the other side and maybe resolve things peacefully, but the hubologists are. unsettling. and remind me of the children of the cathedral from the first game. i did try talking to the leader first and his only offer was to get me to kill the shi leader instead and i wasnt about that so. had some fun shooting my way out of there

- the shi allowed me to have the fuel and now all the citizens in the streets have much nicer floating dialogue. before it was stuff like “are you a spy?” and “leave us alone” but after taking out the hubologists its stuff like “guess youre alright after all” and “you did a good thing for us” so i guess..... thats good. still not sure if there was a peaceful way of handling things or if it really was simply “pick a side” but from the reaction, i think i made an okay decision

- to install the parts on the ship i had to go below deck and found a shit ton of aliens, centaurs, and floaters. it was a real pain in the ass tbh, these enemies are only hand to hand combat so they swarm you and you cant MOVE and its so hard to see whats going on bc the outlines all overlap. they suck. there was a lost person down here as well that i could help back up to the deck

- and with that all squared away, off to the enclave oil rig!

you got it, cassidy. there’s my endgame crew: sulik, cassidy, goris, and k-9. mightve been a good idea to bring marcus instead of k-9 but. dog. his damage output isnt the greatest but sometimes he knocks people over which can be helpful.

- there was a terminal right inside that i could use to disable some defence systems but anything more than that was above my skill level, it seems, and i got locked out. i took a staircase down to the next level and found my tribe as well as the inhabitants of vault 13 whod been there before the deathclaws took residence. we shot our way through a ton of enclave soldiers and scientists but luckily it seems that defence disabling i did meant some robots on this floor never attacked

- that said, i still lost goris almost immediately on this level. while most of the robots had been disabled, the turrets were not and they sure can do some mean damage. one of them took goris out in one hit. rip deathclaw friend

- i couldnt free everyone right away, the leader of the vault 13 folk told me the best bet would be to disable the power generator 3 floors below.

- the next floor down included a maze with electric floors. it was. troublesome. after a couple attempts i ended up leaving my companions outside the maze and working through it myself until i was able to get rid of the electric floors, at least, so we werent all constantly taking damage while i figured this crap out. there were two supply rooms on either side of the maze as well so i got some more useful items AND another geck. ive got two now, incredible. for some reason the guards in both siderooms werent armed at all??? i pretty much stood in the doorway which allowed only 2 of them to get close enough to attack and even then they were punching and kicking which isnt very effective when your opponent is in advanced power armour so. that fight was more time consuming than stressful or anything

- after that is a floor with very powerful enclave soldiers protecting the president. in contrast to the unarmed losers on the previous floor, these guys had energy weapons and miniguns and shit. did not go well the first couple times. i ended up doing kind of a cheese thing which was going down alone, getting a sneak critical on one guard, and then sneaking back up the staircase, ending combat. eventually enough guards were coming over to investigate that sneaking was no longer possible so that method only worked a couple times but after that i brought my companions down with me and we worked our way through everyone whod been alerted. 

- then i stopped to do some healing maintenance before figuring out the best and safest route to the president and............. the game crashed. this was the first time either classic game crashed on me. i dont think it liked me spamming “heal yourself” dialogue with cassidy or something. or maybe its completely unrelated. i HAD been bouncing up and down staircases a lot so maybe the frequent loading was unappreciated

- so we had to redo some of the fight but luckily id been saving a lot bc i wasnt sure if my weird tactics were gonna get me in a rough spot haha

- met the president. killed the president. killed the presidents vp and secretary. fun times. its at this point that you get the most clear idea of what the enclave wants to do: kill every mutant, but not just full mutants but anyone who has been exposed enough to the outside world with all its leftover radiation that theyre “less than human” so basically they want to kill the entire world except themselves and the people who were still in vault 13. it seems to me at this point, most vaults have either opened naturally, been forcibly opened, or have metaphorially or literally self-destructed so yeah good plan, enclave. there is no one left by your shitty standards and also get over yourselves, mutants are the Best. have you seen lenny and marcus? have you?

- when dealing with the pres i tried out a new gun i got off an enclave guard and holy shit

im not as accurate with it as i am with the gauss rifle but damn

- you can convince a scientist in this area that what theyre doing is bullshit and to give you the fev cure and also cure your village/the vault 13 inhabitants before flooding the oil rig with fev to kill everyone else. this seems like its a really handy and useful thing to do but on this particular run, both cassidy and i died and when i went through the next time, this scientist joined in the fighting and i wasnt able to talk to him again. oh well

- the next floor had the power generator. i put an explosive near it and took off. the path back up to the top floor drops you in an area i never bothered to clear on the way in and we were Obliterated. i tried a few times but seriously this floor was tough as hell. i started doing the stealth thing alone again and that is when i discovered that if you dont have your companions with you, you can just walk through most areas because youre in enclave power armour. i am a Fool. everything could have been so easy!!! i could have left everyone chilling on the top floor, gone off to take care of stuff in simple style, and waltzed back out to the boss fight. but it was too late. i had to reload pre-destroying the generator anyway so this time i did indeed leave my companions in peace while i took care of it and it was so much easier. god. goris could have survived this easily if id done this in the first place. oh well, next time ill know exactly what im doing i guess. 

- so with the countdown going and only the frank horrigan fight left, i talked my way into getting an enclave group to join my side. youre supposed to be able to access the terminal here to get his own turrets to turn on him as well which presumably makes for an easy fight but OF COURSE this is the computer i fucked with when i first arrived and got locked out of. i had the enclave group support but let me tell you. they were not the most effective. they were a distraction at first, but i still only made it out of this fight with almost no stimpacks and one less companion. cassidy died here, unfortunately. in the middle of the fight i had to loot his corpse for all the stimpacks id given him because i needed them for myself, it turns out. it really was tough, and i also ended up using chems for the first time. i dont like using chems in fallout, generally, but i was willing to take whatever edge i could to actually finish the game

- a couple of the enclave people on my side survived, and sulik and k-9 were ok as well. we headed for the exit with about 5 minutes left on the countdown to destruction. classic fallout protags really have a habit of blowing shit up

rest in pieces!!!!!

- cue ending slideshow. to summarise: the arroyo villagers and the remains of vault 13 used the geck to settle a new community together, the den, modoc, and san fransisco simply prospered well, gecko was taken over by vault city because i optimised the power plant and i suppose that caught vc’s interest but vc ended up withering away themselves and were taken over by the ncr so i hope that means my ghoul friends were eventually free again, redding joined the ncr as well, broken hills dispersed peacefully (and we know from nv the super mutants from there settled happily in the mojave), ncr and vault 15 did well and expanded, the vault 13 deathclaws were unfortunately killed by the enclave and the end card kinda blamed me for it :(, new reno stayed exactly the same because i never bothered to do much there oops, and while there were no ending cards for it, we know from nv that the ncr took over navarro pretty shortly after the enclave oil rig fell. 

- and there you have it! sulik, k-9 and i were deposited back on the docks of san fransisco and i now have the option of finishing things i didnt do before (like new reno) and/or exploring around gaining levels until i either reach 99 or im bored. i will check out new reno and prob go chat up some of the major characters who may have new things to say now that the enclave is gone and TOTALLY NOT get distracted for ages by fallout week and replaying the entirety of fallout new vegas which was really great now that ive played both classic games. oops- anyway, picked up lenny and marcus from vault 13 since sadly, my party was halved by the oil rig adventure. in future playthroughs i think it would be kinda cool to assemble all the companions and leave them hanging out in vault 13 when theyre not with me like how you can send everyone to the lucky 38 in nv

- started driving around to places with good merchants again because as always i am overencumbered. i lost some good shit on the oil rig when cassidy died because sulik and i could not carry it :( first stop was ncr for selling shit and checking in with tandi. she wouldnt speak to me and her bodyguard/secretary dude also told me to fuck off. kind of thought they would be willing to comment on the enclave deal but i guess not, fine.

- then back to vault city, where i DID get new dialogue about how awesome i am and was also instructed to go log my exploits in the vault 8 terminals. i put my pip boy in the terminal and got some behind the scenes info as well as a cheeky hint to go look at a certain other terminal which, when interacted with, gave me so much xp i instantly levelled up. i did it twice more and levelled up even more. what the heck. incredible. all this levelling up would have been even better if id had marcus and lenny with me because especially marcus has not travelled long enough with me to completely level up BUT EARLIER ID TRIED TO BARTER and the people CALLED FOR THE GUARDS and everyone WENT HOSTILE because i had a super mutant and a ghoul in my party HEY VAULT CITY JUST A REMINDER I HATE YOU

- whatever. i decided to drive around unlocking the rest of the map even though im pretty sure there are no new locations, it just looks nice to have it all coloured in properly. got some combat encounters on the way and prior to dealing with the enclave i tended to skip ones that seemed too dangerous but now im like COME AT ME this party is 3 ppl in power armour, a cyber dog, and a super mutant, with guns that will disintegrate you. TRY IT

- one of the encounters i got was this fucking incredible thing:

this person just kept saying “oil can” over and over so i grabbed the can off the ground, used it on them, and then they opened up dialogue to thank me, saying theyd been stuck there for ages, and then walked off. lmao what a wild encounter. curious that theyre in enclave armour. did they find the armour and not have training in proper use and management? is this a former enclave employee that just fucked up? who knows

- speaking of former enclave i totally forgot that when i went back to ncr i talked to a doctor there and got new dialogue to ask if he knew about the enclave and it turned out to be dr henry, one of the remnants and eventual residents of jacobstown o: i DID notice they had the same name but i assumed henry would have been at navarro like the rest of them. turns out he had a falling out with the enclave before everything went down and the remnants left to the mojave together

- based on the end clip, i wasnt sure if id find my village in arroyo or not. the voiceover described the new settlement as “miles away from their old home” or whatever but that might have been about the vault 13 ppl specifically, which arroyo IS far away from. also its not like the settlements that disbanded or anything in the slideshow already look like that post-storyline so really i did not know what to expect or if i could actually access my people again. unfortunately, the bridge to arroyo was still destroyed and everything still looked pretty bad up there. so i guess we do not get to know where everyone eventually went

- i still had an outstanding quest in broken hills as well. first of all, a sentient plant wanted to be moved to a different garden which was a simple thing but required a shovel that i didnt have at the time. it was p funny, i went up and immediately used the shovel and the plant was like “dude dont just start digging me up give me some warning first” IM SORRY. but yes i talked to the plant and then moved him and then he gave me a hint on how to defeat that scorpion at chess that i was playing against ages ago. also, one of the ghouls in broken hills is the son of set, the ghoul leader of necropolis from the first game. if you get him a bunch of stuff he’ll eventually tell you the location of some “treasure” that ends up being bottle caps, the currency of the first game. kind of weird that they went back on the bottle caps as currency thing in fo2? i wonder why. glad the new games have caps again. but anyway the chosen one was not amused by getting caps instead of money lmao the caps were in a well so you have to enlist some help and then you get so riled up about it being caps instead of money you forget to help the guy back up

- OKAY. NEW RENO.

- i went to talk to this myron bloke ive heard so much about since i know hes a possible companion and god he annoyed me so fast

- this is the first time ive ever pissed off a talking head enough for the animation to change to their “angry” face i think. i once pissed off killian darkwater in the first game but i have no idea what id done to cause it since it was after id already worked with him and it wasnt nighttime or anything i think it was a bug idk but with myron i was intentionally smartassy with him bc he was just SO ANNOYING and also hes the creator of a drug that has fucked up a lot of people and he doesnt seem to even understand what hes doing?? or care??? not to mention hes got slave labour. when i saw that going in i was kinda feeling like id be more likely to kill him than ask him to join my party (which was already full anyway, i really had no intention of bringing him along) but huffs i dont think theres a quest attached to that kind of thing so it would probably just be considered assault/murder and maybe get more people hostile than im willing to deal with. so. i just left

- so that aspect of new reno sucked as expected but then!!! THEN!!! i became a BOXER! i convinced a guy named stuart little to hire me as the lone woman boxer, he gave me a list of nicknames to choose and i decided on “hurricane” and then i beat the hell out of a guy

this is the second guy i fought, after id gained some popularity and i fucking killed the dude. i killed him. i was really scared for a second that id have to fight the entire room but they didnt even care, accidental death is just something that happens in this line of work sometimes i guESS?? okie doke. but after literally murdering a man in the ring i decided to take a break from boxing

- theres a dude in new reno that i spoke to once ages ago and im not actually sure what his deal is but i talked to him again since last time he passed out and it looked like hed finally got back up. he had new post-game fourth wall breaking dialogue and he gave me a book that acted a lot like the terminal in vault city, it gave me a shitton of xp AND levelled all my skills to 300%, which is the highest they can go. holy shit?? im just. as op as possible now. nothing can stop me.

- so with my newfound opness i decided to start working for whichever of the new reno families seemed the least shitty. the wrights are by far the easiest to talk to; the bishops are practically impossible to communicate with in any meaningful way, the salvatores arent bad but sure do have twitchy trigger fingers, and the mordinos seem sketchy as hell in general and are the ones already mostly in charge. the wrights wanted me to investigate the murder of one of the familys sons and it turns out one of the other families poisoned him. then they sent me to the sierra army depot to look for weapons, presuming there might be a fight with the other families. the wrights seem nice enough, all they really want to do is protect their family, not necessarily fuck everyone else over so. alright. and i really wanted to get to the sierra army depot one way or the other

- it ended up being even cooler than i expected. its surrounded by turrets which didnt stand a chance now that im op as hell, and the doors are super sealed shut so i got to fire a massive howitzer gun at it to blast them open. i felt really cool

- inside are lots of robots but again, 300% science skills means hacking everything without problem. this place has a LOT of amazing loot. most of it is useless to me now but i did pick up a lot of stimpacks and other drugs that are valuable and weightless so why not. i also found a cookie. doesnt seem to have use but hey, i have a cookie now.

- turns out an ai here wants to get out and see the world, and tasked me with making a robobrain body for it. this involved finding biogel and looting other robobrain corpses and such for parts. also there are terminals where you can literally harvest a variety of brains and other organs. i know robobrains and other splicing was being done at big mt. but it looks like a lot of that stuff was happening here, too. ive got a human brain in my inventory now, as well as an eyeball that i can use to give me retinal scan access. im not sure why the eye is just. there. actually. ALSO there are holodisks you can pop into your pip boy to learn about some old world shit and it was actually fascinating. it was all great but as a canadian and a lore gremlin, this was my fav part

there is SO MUCH going on here. so much. god. all the info in these disks was incredible. the entire location was really fucking interesting and i loved searching and reading everything. i saw something about like. viruses/plagues and stuff on one of the terminals but i couldnt see everything before it shut down, im gonna have to reload a save or just. keep it in mind for future playthroughs i guess. amazing

- but back to the ai thing. i assembled “skynet” a robobrain body and was able to recruit them. unfortunately i already had a full party, so theyre still chilling there. eventually ill need to drop off a couple companions at vault 13 or something and grab not only skynet but dogmeat, who is still at the cafe of broken dreams on my map, just waiting for me to return.

- so when i went back to the wrights, they said i was now part of the family and i got to take a name with them just like i did when i became a boxer. there were a lot of really good and funny names available, but since i tend to prefer long range weapons and stealthy combat, heres what i went with

- id had a quest for the salvatores but didnt finish it before becoming part of the wright family and now when i go back to them, theyre pissed and attack me haha WELL ALRIGHT i guess that makes sense but i think that also means im pretty much done with new reno already. i suppose if youre methodical about it, you could work for all the families until the end of each branch, like you can do with the factions of new vegas until you piss them off too much by working with others etc but i did not plan anything going in. its cool though, i like the wights well enough. theyre the only family that didnt outright threaten me or something so its all good. too bad i dont get to see how this would change the slideshow card for new reno in this playthrough. next time, though

- and thats it for real now!! as far as i can tell, ive done everything still available to me unless its something bad karmaish that im not interested in doing in this particular playthrough

- another random thing: since i did a lot of driving around the map just because, a fair bit of time has passed in-game and my age went up. the game actually kept track of how much time has passed and acknowledged my birthday. thats actually SO GREAT

if you read all of this, thats p incredible. this is long as hell. thx ily

that was really a wild ride and i loved it. its so much bigger than fo1, such an enormous expansion, both in gameplay and in lore. the world really does develop massively between both games, and i found the tone shift to be very interesting. the first game, in my opinion, is definitely post-apocalyptic, as the name calls it, and even dystopian. its very dark and creepy feeling, and the music really backs that up. some of the music tracks are creepy as HELL (”the vault of the future” always creeps me out, especially when it plays in vault 22 in nv god and “city of the dead” really does make you feel the way the title suggests). the first game nails a desolate wasteland atmosphere incredibly well. 

the second game, though, is what id call post-post-apocalyptic. there are a lot more proper settlements with a lot more people to talk to and do quests for. in the first game, shady sands is smaller than modoc, the tiny farming village. in fo2, ncr territory is massive and incredibly well off, with vegetation and force fields as security and shit. people are making it work, in fo2. but the further we get from the old world, the more things change, too. tribal culture is a thing. many mutants of the wasteland have settled down well, now that theyre away from the influence of the master. post-war chems have been invented. slavery is a new problem. people have been able to survive well enough that theyve gone back to age old ways of being shit to each other. people do things not to survive but for profit or fame or just because they want to. you, the player, can have sex on multiple occasions in multiple ways for multiple reasons. the world is full of so much again! the first game is about survival and power struggles and adapting to a new status quo. the second game is about living, and about people. theyre both remarkable in their own ways and do such a good job setting a tone both times. honestly, i dont think i can say, at this point, which i liked better because they were both the best at being what they are. maybe after time and more playthroughs ill settle into a favourite but for now all i can say is both of them were so solid in unique ways.

gameplay-wise i definitely found fo2 more challenging, though once i upgraded to advanced power armour and a gauss rifle it felt like i was at the top of the food chain. something i love about fallout games is you usually start out so squishy and end up godlike, which makes you feel like you progressed as a character while progressing through the story and get to constantly do more and more awesome, badass shit. they also improved some mechanics with the companions that made life a lot easier which was great. my only complaint is that there isnt a single female companion. at best you can argue that certain characters dont have a gender (k-9, skynet, technically marcus as a super mutant but really all the mutants get gender coded anyway, i dont recall there being a mutant who wasnt blatantly male or female aligned, so,,) but pretty much katja is the only female companion across both games. but i suppose ill let it slide bc in new vegas they give us an incredibly diverse selection including both a gay man and a lesbian so alright alright. they improved majorly.

anyway. i already want to replay both games lmao. since i did character creation mostly based on what would make life easy and a more blank slate in terms of personality since i like to go into first playthroughs just doing whatever i feel like at any given time, i might like to actually craft a specific kind of character and do some more serious roleplaying. nice

thanks for reading.... again... since i failed to stop talking after the first time i said it. [finger guns]

[writingguide003-blog]

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

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'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

As the season heats up on the big screen, Guardian writers look back on their picks from the past with killer sharks, mournful crime-fighters and time-traveling teens

Face/Off (1997)

Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/PARAMOUNT

Madman bomber Nicolas Cage stole John Travoltas dead sons life. So gloomy FBI agent Travolta steals Cages face. When Cage steals his face and his wife and freedom John Woos Face/Off becomes the biggest, wackiest and most operatic summer blockbuster in history, a gonzo combustion that flings everything from pigeons to peaches at the screen.

Hong Kong cineastes might applaud a script with roots in the ancient Sichuan opera genre Bian Lian, where performers swap masks like magic. Popcorn-munchers, of which I am front row center, are here to watch whack job Cage and soulful Travolta, two actors who love to go full-ham, play each other and go deep inside their iconographies. Call it hamception. Or just call it a crazy swing that hits a home run as Cavolta and Trage battling it out in a warehouse, a speedboat and, of course, a church. As Cage-as-Travolta gloats to Travolta-as-Cage, Isnt this religious? The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners but youre still not having any fun! Maybe hes not, but we sure are. Bravo, bravo. AN

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Photograph: David James/Publicity image from film company

Theres been an increasing sense of desperation clinging to the majority of roles picked by Tom Cruise in recent years. Outside of the still shockingly entertaining Mission: Impossible series, he was miscast in the barely serviceable Jack Reacher and its maddeningly unnecessary sequel, his awards-aiming American Made was throwaway and his franchise-starting The Mummy was a franchise-killer. But four summers ago, he picked the right horse just maybe at the wrong time.

Because despite how deliriously fun Edge of Tomorrow was in the summer of 2014, audiences didnt show the requisite enthusiasm. It was a moderate success (enough to warrant a long-gestating sequel) but it should have packed them in, its combination of charm, invention and sheer thrills making it one of the most objectively successful blockbuster experiences in memory. The nifty plot device (Cruise must relive a day of dying while battling aliens over and over again) allowed for some dark gallows humor and a frenetic pace that kept us all giddily on edge while it also contained a dazzling action star turn from Emily Blunt whose fearless Full Metal Bitch wrestled the film away from Cruise. Blame its relative failure on the bland title? Cruise fatigue? Blockbuster over-saturation? Then find a digital copy to watch and rewatch and repeat. BL

Back to the Future (1985)

Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Back to the Future very nearly wasnt a summer blockbuster. The reshoots required after Eric Stoltz was booted off, then the fact Michael J Foxs Family Ties commitments meant he could only shoot at night all meant filming didnt wrap until late April. Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg duly pencilled in an August / September release.

But then people started seeing it. Test scores were off the scale. Said producer Frank Marshall: Id never seen a preview like that. The audience went up to the ceiling. So they bagsied the best spot the year had to offer 3 July hired a squad of sound editors to work round the clock and two print editors with instructions to get properly choppy. They did, and those big trims tightened yet further one of the tautest screenplays (by Bob Gale) cinema has ever seen. The only bit of fat they left was the Johnny B Goode scene: sure, it didnt advance the story, but the kids at those test screenings knew we were gonna love it. Back to the Future is a pure shot of summer cinema: grand, ambitious, insanely entertaining. Deadpool, Avengers, take note: a blockbuster can be smart as hell so long as it wears it lightly. In the end, by the way, the film spent 11 weeks at number 1 at the US box office. Thats essentially the whole summer. CS

Teminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photograph: Allstar/TRISTAR/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

The first film I ever saw at the cinema was The Rocketeer. We drove into Bradford city centre, bought our tickets at the Odeon and sat through the 1991 tale which followed the fortunes of a stunt pilot, a rocket pack and a Nazi agent played by Timothy Dalton who sounded like he was from Bury rather than Berlin. The way into the multiplex there was a huge poster for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Arnie sat on a Harley with a shotgun cocked and ready. My dad was a huge fan of the original but he still couldnt swing taking a seven-year-old to see it. It wasnt until I borrowed a VHS copy that I finally got to see what was behind that image. Skynet, dipshits, T-1000s, a nuclear holocaust and a motorbike chases on the LA river.

Blockbusters dont usually have that edge: theres a more brazen mainstream appeal. But Judgment Day was and still is an exception. It did huge numbers at the box office (more than $500m), was a rare sequel that was arguably better than the original and introduced really odd bits of Spanish idiom into the Bradford schoolyard lexicon. I probably would have been scarred for life watching it as a seven-year-old, but as a teenager it gave me a story I doubt Ill ever get tired of revisiting. LB

The Dark Knight (2008)

Photograph: Allstar/WARNER BROS.

The summer of 2008 was a busy one: Barack Obama emerged from a contentious democratic primary to become the first ever black presidential nominee of a major party. The dam fortifying the entire global financial system was about to burst. China hosted its first ever Summer Olympics. But somehow, and not exactly to my credit, what I remember most from that summer is the uncanny, ridiculously over-the-top publicity blitzkrieg that preceded the release of The Dark Knight, which has since emerged as not just an all-time great summer blockbuster, but an all-time great American film, period.

There were faux-political billboards that read I believe in Harvey Dent; a weirdly nondescript website of the same name; Joker playing cards dispersed throughout comic book stores, which led fans to another website where the DA was defaced with clown makeup. Dentmobiles, Gotham City voter registration cards, a pop-up local news channel: the marketing campaign might have seemed excessive had the movie not so convincingly topped it. Ten years later, as films like Deadpool and Avengers: Infinity War try to reach those same heights of virality, The Dark Knight remains the measuring stick by which every superhero movie, and superhero villain, is measured. JN

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Photograph: Jasin Boland/AP

In many ways, Fury Road is summer: arid, scorching, bright enough to be squinted at. The driving force behind all the high-impact driving is scarcity of water, the essence of life in a desert where death practically rises up from the burning sand. Even in the air-conditioned comfort of a multiplex auditorium in Washington DCs Chinatown, watching George Millers psychotic motor opera left this critic sweaty and parched. My world is fire and blood, warns the weary Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy) in the scripts opening lines. Staggering out of a theater into the oppressive rays of the sun, it sure can feel that way.

Millers masterpiece fits into the summer blockbuster canon in a less literal capacity as well, striking its ideal balance of dazzling technical spectacle and massively-scaled emotional catharsis. There was plenty of breathless praise to go around upon this films 2015 release, much of it for the feats of practical-effects daring, but the hysterical extremes of feeling cemented its status as a modern classic. I cant deny that Ive watched the polecat sequence upwards of a dozen times, but Millers film truly comes alive in Furiosas howl of desperation, and in Maxs noble disappearance into the throng. CB

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its the music, its the giant boulder, its the Old Testament mysticism, its the whip, its the Cairo Swordsman, its Harrison Fords crooked smile, its the bad dates, its Karen Allen drinking a sherpa under the table, its the melted faces and exploding heads. Its all these things plus having the good fortune of seeing this at the cinema at a very young age, therefore watching most of it through my terrified fingers. (Indy tells Marion to keep her eyes shut during the cosmic spooky ending; way ahead of you there!)

The modern blockbuster as we know it was created by Steven Spielberg with Jaws and George Lucas with Star Wars, so the hype was unmatched when the two collaborated in 1981 with Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a kid I had no idea this was a loving homage to cliffhanger serials from the 30s and 40s, I took it as pure adventure. The seven-and-a-half minute desert truck chase (I dont know, Im making thus up as I go) is probably the best action sequence in all of cinema (John Woos Hard Boiled does not have a horse, sorry), but watching as an adult one notices a lot of sophisticated humor, too. (Indy being too exhausted to make love to Marion, for example, is something that didnt connect when I was six.)

Its strange to think I watched these cartoon Nazis on VHS with my grandparents who had escaped the Holocaust, and no one benefits when you do the math to figure out how young Marion was when, as Indy puts it, you knew what you were doing. But for thrills, laughs and propulsive camerawork (though a little mild Orientalism), nothing tops this one. JH

Independence Day (1996)

Photograph: Everett/REX/Shutterstock

Short of actually calling their film Summer Blockbuster, rarely can a films height-of-summer release date been so central to a films raison detre. This being the mid-90s, when po-mo and self-referentiality was all the rage, brazenly hooking your tentpole film to 4 July was seen as a pretty smart idea.

Fortunately, all the ducks did line up in a row for ID4: a game-changing performance from Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum at (arguably) his funniest, a rousingly Clintoneque president in Bill Pullman and most importantly in that run-up to the millennium physical destruction on a gigantic scale. Much comment at the time was expended on the laser obliteration of the White House (an early shot from the Tea Party/Maga crowd?), but I personally cherish director Roland Emmerichs signature move of detonating cars in somersault formation. Like many other huge-budget films then and since, Independence Day was basically a tooled-up retread of cheap-as-chips format of earlier decades though who these days would roll such expensive dice on what is essentially an original script, with no comic book or toy branding as a forerunner? We shall never see its like again. AP

Aliens (1986)

Photograph: Allstar/20 CENTURY FOX/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

An Aliens summer is one for moviegoers who prefer to sit in in darkened rooms when the sun is shining; the brutal confines of the fiery power plant make an excellent subliminal ad for air conditioning. In 1986, James Cameron took Ridley Scotts elegant, iconic horror template and turned it into an all-out action blockbuster, forcing Ripley once again to face down her nemeses in a breathless fug of claustrophobia, sweat and fear. Its relentlessly stressful and unbelievably thrilling.

I first saw Aliens many years after its initial release. Owing to its sizeable and long-lasting legacy, it was at once immediately familiar, yet also brisk and brutally fresh. I understood that it was a classic, but I wasnt prepared for just how good it is, for the pitch-perfect management of tension, the pace that never really lets up, the emotional pull. The maternal undertow of Ripleys protection of Newt, and the alien mirror of that, adds a level of heart unusual in most blockbusters, and her frustration at being a woman whose authority must be earned again and again, and then proven again and again, remains grimly relevant, 30 years on. Its also a total blast. Now get away from her, you bitch. RN

Jaws (1975)

Photograph: Fotos International/Getty Images

It is the great summer blockbuster ancestor the film that in 1975 more or less invented the concept of the event movie. And unlike all those other summer blockbusters, Steven Spielbergs Jaws is actually about the summer; it is explicitly about the institution of the summer vacation, into which the movie was being sold as part of the seasonal entertainment. It is about the sun, the sand, the beach, the ocean and the entirely justified fear of being eaten alive by an enormous shark with the appetite of a serial killer and the cunning of a U-boat commander. And more than that: it is about that most contemporary of political phenomena: the coverup, the town authorities at a seaside resort putting vacationers at risk by not warning them about the shark. The Jaws mayor has become comic shorthand for the craven and pusillanimous politician.

A blockbuster nowadays means spectacular digital effects, but this film is from an analogue world. It bust the block through brilliant film-making and an inspired score from John Williams, summoning up the shark with a simple two-note theme which became the most famous musical expression of evil since Bernard Herrmanns shrieking violin stabs in Psycho took the place of actual knife-slashing. I still remember the excitement of the summer of 1975, and the queues around the block at the Empire, in Watford, round the corner from the football ground. The inspired brevity of the title meant the word was repeated over and over again to fill the marquee display: JAWS JAWS JAWS as if they were screaming it! PB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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