#i dont think ive ever even heard of this thing
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one aspect of the outsiders fandom I find absolutely delightful is that u can pick pretty much any detail n go 'Pony's 14 year old oblivious unreliable ass was WRONG' n just immediately have a case
#that man is read for FILTHHH#but to be fair#he entirely did that to himself#'steve doesnt hate him ponys beefing with him n he doesn’t even know it'#beleivable as hell#'soda does SO drink'#u know what pony is so locked into his fanon reading of his own brother i would beleive it#'dallas is actually a loser that pony just thinks is tuff bc hes older n wilder'#accepted pony has no good reading on any of the ppl around hik#'Johnny is actually tuff as hell pony just bbygirlifed him'#realest thing ive ever heard#i could go on#i dont even AGREE with most of these#but the thing is#they are just as likely to be true as the convoluted nonsense pony THINKS is true#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#dallas winston#steve randle#johnny cade#two bit mathews#the outsiders 1983
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behold my unhinged crossover fanart. the only thing these shows have in common is their utter insanity and the fact that nobody has ever heard of them before
#ok granted people Have heard both of bo-bobo and khonjin alone im exaggerating#but they arent completely popular so its like. shrug#i dont even know what compelled me to draw both of them together its been a hard week if I say so myself#i think its the most genius but also the dumbest thing ive ever thought of. I wish more people knew about them#bobobo bo bo bobo#khonjin house#bobobo#khonjin#my art : )
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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!
#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to#that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know#but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look#like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies#dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS#plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song#and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal#again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like#yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more#OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit#love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning#im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY#i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy#but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like#emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness#its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool#addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic#but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys#this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like#the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth#but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd#i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying#about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement
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#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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The sillies
#i dont think their eyes are actually pointed at eachother they're just kinda looking in eachothers general directions#and tv harley's neck is hella long#but whatever#i just threw this together in like an hour#which is actually the longest ive spent on a drawing#anyways#i started watching harley quinn#im on like the 3rd or 4th episode#also lego batman is my favorite movie#i LURVE lego batman#and ive always lurved harleys design#shes my favorite#of all dc things#which ive only seen like 4 things with her in it#and also like two comics#one of which i havent even finished#but i just love her#i dressed as a version of her when i was a kid#not one of her sexy outfits obv#if youve ever heard of dc superhero girls#the og#it was a pretty big part of my childhood#harley quinn#lego batman#dc fanart#harley quinn fanart#lego batman fanart#harley quinn show#arson-art
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no bond stronger than the one between the only two competent coworkers
#alexa play if you ever leave im coming with you by the wombats#you would think. women who have been sewing longer than ive been alive would know how to do their fucking jobs#and yet every day i am babysitting. i am explaining first day lessons to people who have heard them 100 times#its the not writing her notes on the job for me. its the not even reading my notes and just pestering me while im ran off my feet for me#its the 'hey i am going to need this machine in a minute' (for priority work) 'ok :)' (starts another piece anyway)#i gave her warning and i still ended up standing around waiting to do what was literally a 2 minute task#nyxtalks#sorry thats the rant for today. are you too the competent coworker? do you rage internally when people dont do the sensible fucking thing?#nothing will cure ur imposter syndrome like witnessing what shit other people think is an acceptable standard of work#lads. i think i reached my mean autistic 'things must be done how i expect them to be done' point today to i will not lie#but i did not snap. yall should be SO fucking proud
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Testosterone is making a world of difference for my mental health and I don't think it's just alleviation of dysphoria or whatever, I literally think my brain just runs better with more t in my system
#my t production is naturally high so that may have something to do with it#but really#a couple hours after my very first shot i got this incredible feeling of contentment that lasted AWHILE#and now that my dose has been raised i really feel like my mind is quieter and my baseline state is happier#even with a few big bad scary things making life hard right now#im handling it so much better#🐻#i hear people taking femininizing hrt sometimes talk about similar effects on their mental health#but dont think ive ever heard it from someone on t#well#it goes both ways#give your brain the chemicals it wants!
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i'm glad you enjoyed brandon F
little note about the uniform thing, the reason why he drags on a bit on that is cause he's a reenactor, 18th century uniforms are his insane obsession. he even jokes about it in the video i sent, saying "i'm finally back to my insufferable self!" when talking about the muskets
i don't blame him tbh, after watching his content for a while i had the realization that 18th century isn't like the romans, whose equipment we deduce through archeology, old sources and guess work.
like, the actual documents that standardized 18th century uniforms still exist and are not hard to access, i realized that after Brandon noted that his source was the fucking British Royal Library in London. ( i mean ffs there's literally photos of Napoleonic era vets heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npSru7xEzX8)
and i honestly think its relevant, because if a million dollar historical production didn't want to put in the effort to go to a library and get the official documents. then what else they weren't bothered to get right?
but Brandon doesn't just do historical reviews he also talks a lot about the history in general. like, why fight in lines? what were marines in the 18th century? the history of tactics. and what role did cavalry play in line warfare? for example
heavens bless people of utube that manage to get hyperfixated on one topic for basically their entire life and then proceed to make stuff about it for us to watch, right? it's a delight to listen to someone who actually enjoys the subject and their subject therefore basically guarantees the authencity of what they put out
oooh but yes, the concept itself of what we actually get to know about things in what manner is fascinating in on itself. so since i was small i had been very fascinated by chinese mythology and mythology somewhat comes along with other parts of the culture and so on. and you know how the chinese culture is one of the oldest in the world?
as a result i've somewhat grown accustomed to the numbers that are typical to the span of chinese history and now whenever i go look into the history of my own country i'm actually stumped over how recently certain things happened! then again you wouldn't believe how oppressed or manipulated slovaks had been across history. ain't that right -glares at hungary-
to what extent we know which culture's history is so wild. the ability for certain historical things to simply last is absolutely incredible (such as military uniform documents or musical pieces of 18th century). fun fact! there's still messages written in stone by the soldiers of the roman empire on slovakia's territory. right near Danube, i think, p sure i visited that
thank fuck for reliable sourcing and also thank u for that vid that's gon come in handy for clothing references at Some point, i can feel it
and you are absolutely correct, yes! it Is relevant! as mister Brandon has said, there's of course a certain leeway allowed when it comes to more kid oriented stuff, but i'll admit! i was surprised to learn that serious historical productions apparently put less effort into these kind of things than the sea beast did (i don't usually watch those kind of things, i'm very fantasy/sci-fi and cartoon focused)
this kind of muddling of history that may seem "insignificant" to money grabbing bastards really screws up the perception of the eras for people who don't really have the time or the drive to look into things themselves. it's annoying
oh while we are on this history stuff, i saw this originally in utube shorts, but Apparently they are making a netflix movie or smth about Cleopatra and they made her black?? which is weird, considering that Cleopatra was greek and all that stuff. like don't get me wrong, yes give silenced/less known cultures like black folk more space to present themselves and who they are but like don't do it in a way that heavily skews the history? why are you going out of your way to create misinformation that could heavily impact understanding of history by taking out an already famous (not poc) person instead of Actually making the space for historically important black people. like maybe why not make a movie about that one super rich king from the southwestern coast of Africa (i think) that crashed the egyptian economy twice by being just too damn generous. that would be SO much more helpful to black peeps' history than shoving a black person into the place of a white one
i swear films nowadays either lack soul, heart, spine or brain like 98% of time
#Spot says stuff#// long post //#gklsdmglk you say 'not only history reviews but also history in general' and then all that is listed is battle focused things#saying historical warfare is okay i wont get mad even if the current political things here would perhaps justify me to#ill keep him in mind when ill need help with battle research for a story or smth along those lines. wonderful to have a well sourced place-#-to get info from#i personally think its good to talk about these historical things includin stuff like the world wars. ever since i heard that some people-#-think that ww2 was not real i became of the opinion that it should be talked about more and not seemingly tabood by society in a rather-#-quiet subtle manner. on internet too. we have taggin systems and ways to warn those who dont want to see it. they can dodge it and-#-us? us that are okay should talk and joke. cuz then that creates Conversation n it prevents cretins out there who think all that suffering#-that happened is just some fabricated silly drama from existing#she is of the 15th century but lately ive been interested in joan of arc. if u happen to have smth on her id like to check it out!
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was just subjected to a self righteous post about how we need to learn to respect second generation atheists (important context: i am one) and how their existence begs the question of if atheism is always in reaction to something or if it can be an independently held position. which then followed it up with a 'summary of responses to this post' that included, peppered among things second generation atheists said or remarks about never hearing about this before, extremely reactionary positions about the necessity of religion in life all couched in the language of simple 'concern' for these atheists upbringing. like omg yesss your post is soooo important we really need to interrogate this group that is persecuted by literally every large religious organization on the planet about if their way of life is legitimate! its sooooooo crucial we open doors to religious mandates. its imperative that we teach them about religion, a thing they are so cruelly denied, but dont worry guys, for some of them, its not their fault! we can help them! by making them religious i mean teaching them about religion! remember that some jewish people are atheists too <3
#myposts#before you clown on me about the last sentence here#ask yourself why this websites number one method of trying to be charitable and lend credibility to nonreligious people#is to associate them with a religious group. ask yourself where that impulse comes from#when talking about areligiosity. you have to say DONT WORRY GUYS some of them are still like kiiiiinda religious lol#and dont worry even the ones that arent jewish are BASICALLY just christians bc of cultural christianity of course#thats how that works. theres only two religions evil oppressor and innocent victim. where have i heard this one before#wish i saw more atheistic jews getting mad about that honestly imagine someone using your marginalized identity#as a bludgeoning tool against your lived experience and beliefs.#bc were also not yet ready to admit atheism is something you can be marginalized for. bc if i say that if i say#ive faced religious discrimination for my atheism i would be accused of appropriating the struggles of real religious minorities#you know like that jewish atheist who only ever gets shit for the jewish thing which is the real thing and not the atheist thing#which is a fake thing. did i mention talking about them in this way is inclusive and respectful? just wanted to remind you#and listen i fucking hate christians but even I KNOW some of the shit said on here blanketly about christianity is entirely fake#some of you people sound like the chick who thinks the catholic church made up the roman empire#point being. whyd you include that in your fucking post. could have been a good post i agreed with whyd#you open the door like that to a flood of people using this as the new reason atheism is illegitimate and should be beaten out of people#lest they become annoying online. whyd you gotta include those people why make it a question of should we respect atheism? LOL
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do you ever have a dream so strange, otherworldly, beautiful, vivid and enchanting, yet so so anxiety inducing and stressful to the point it hurt a bit DURING the DREAM, that when you wake up, you feel sad that its over and you wont always remember it? or that you feel like a new person with new and important experiences?
#rambles#dreams#i have had so many dreams like that#sometimes i even get dreams ive had before#im pretty sure there have also been dreams that i think ive had before#but i may have not actually ever had#ive heard people talk about how#they think talking about dreams is boring#because its the same thing over and over from what i remember hearing#but i just dont understand that#maybe its because most people have “”normal“” dreams like the losing all your teeth one#not me though. if you ask me about my dreams#i'll tell you about how in one i was in some alien desert world with high tech machines and buildings#and i was a slave for some reason#or how i had a dream me and thousands of other people were traveling across a rundown highway trying to escape the police#because smthn smthn capitalism (it wasnt explained in dream) and how we all became refugees#and also at one point there was this really funny looking shadow plush and i want it in real life so bad#i love my dreams
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Soooo do people in this fandom know about not being fucking condescending assholes or
#bro#stfu#no way do they tag things with the anti hargrove tag like you are actively instigating rn bro#I blocked his tags for a reason I do not want your ass on my dashboard#like why are they stalking the anti hargrove tag come on now#also is generalising a them thing or is this one particular person I'm thinking of#bc this person is making claims that ive literally never heard of before bc only one person ever made them#idk maybe im biased bc i got told to get run over and beat up in the most condescending quirky way ever#bc billy hargrove stans are the funniest people ever#like i hate him but his stans are literally so funny you guys the things they say sometimes bro like even just the way they talk#its so funny when i dont feel like im being talked down to#its giving marvel protagonist main character moment#and actually lets make this abt the whole fandom why do you guys not like having different opinions why cant you respect that#like hate on the opinions sure but can you not be annoying about it#rem does stuff and panics#stranger things#anti billy hargrove#anti billy stans#anti harringrove
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Thinking abt Him again (Wendy Carter)
#rat rambles#missing my favoritest carter atm. and also wendy ig#I am sad that wendy skill tree drop isnt by webber's side but at least abby gets to be skill tree bros with Her bestie 😌#I still haven't looked at wendy's skilltree because god I am afraid why has it been taking this long wendy abby what did you two do#I will keep procrastinating tho because even tho my standards aren't technically all that high I still feel like they're too high#wendy has like 4 game mechanics and I ideally would want his skill tree to stay focused more on those things#Ive heard that wendy's skill tree lets him do some stuff as a ghost and thats. neat I guess. but its not what Im looking for.#I Really don't think Wendy needs whole new types of mechanics I just want stuff to make sisterns both good and interesting some stuff for#abby to make her more fun to fight stronger enemies with and some new elixers#and tbh. I dont like the idea of wendy himself doing cool ghost stuff. if anything Id rather he be able to buff other dead players#I just think a vital part of wendy's kit to me is that without abby hes just a less shitty wes#but the problem with that is that it means that for like 90% of the bosses (it Im being generous) you are fighting as a less shitty wes#and could fuck around with the idea of wendy expanding from being an abby specific support unit to a more general support unit#now ofc this would have drawbacks and be hard to implement well but y'know.#I also just dont like the idea of too many non abby ghost perks in general as I think it would just add needless bloat#which tbf is like what half of every skill tree is so idk what I expected#some characters rly do need the extra mechanics due to very nothing burger base kits but I really don't think wendy needs that much#again the tools for giving wendy and abby cool flashy shit or more practical stuff are already present#so yeah idk if Ill like his skill tree much. which is why Ive been avoiding looking at it like the plague ever since it was announced#I try not to be too bitchy abt skill trees even tho I've basically never liked them since most of the time they're inoffensive#but this is my boy so I will be a big baby about his skill tree being mid no matter what they put on it lol#I hope walter and wortox mains are having fun at least they both need the reworks badly#now for walter I dont trust that a skill tree will be what he needs but wortox can work with this I think#just above all else god I hope webber's skilltree is good whenever klei decides to release webber from their basement#poor boy needs the buffs so bad he has been painfully outclassed in every regard for years
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it sucks when ur trying to find more music similar to a specific song but all ur “songs like ___” or r/ifyoulikeblank google searches are yielding NOTHING because everyone else looking wants more music similar to different criteria of said song that you do. point #834904985403 as to why we need to bring the hyper specific microgenre names of electronic music to all genres (joking. ....unless?)
#but for real ive been fighting for my life for like MONTHS#trying to find more music that rocks as much as even a FRACTION of your best american girl#but all the recommendations are all like 'here is more guitars and women singing' and im like NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#its not just women with guitars its THE DISTORTION the fuzzy noise the way it builds her specific singing style the power the seriousness#the REVERB. the reverb...............................#even putting aside the transcendental revelations about identity that song gives a lot of us whenever we hear it for a second#i also think its just like one of the best rock songs ive ever heard#i like the other songs by the same artist ive heard (although shes like. a super diverse musician so like)#(every other song i hear from her is totally a new thing LOL its good!! i like that kinda thing)#but there was something like. like i said before: transcendental going on with that song specifically#the depth of her voice amplified by the reverb... the scream of the distortion guitars crashing in at the end of the like bridge/break#a piece of studio recorded music that emulates so perfectly the sound of a life performance with just like the ambience of it all#sorry for musicposting (said to the tune of sorry for party rocking) again. i will continue my search#for now i at least have the company of mitskis other rock-y stuff which is also good. i really like fireworks especially
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okay but working at the theatre has some rly interesting side effects. such as "oh hey i notice if the actors are actually not quite on top of their game for once" or "i notice every change in speech or where they walk" and in this one case also "what the fuck are they even doing with that scene it changes every single time wtf"
#sometimes they do a certain piece of dialogue?#sometimes they shorten it?#sometimes they completely throw out that scene?#and i dont know whats it meant to be bc im pretty sure ive seen all three versions during an actual performance#theres another piece of text also that kept shifting but i think that ones set now#i think it was the same the last three times i heard it#no but its so interesting still#like if that was the first time id seen the play id be like WHOA showstopping performance#and now im like yeah its still a banger play and performance and yall are amazing actors#but also that one guy wasnt really feeling it today was he#best thing its a guy ive talked to!!! its so cool#i still not over getting the opportunity to meet the people ive been staring at admiringly for over a year now#and theyre chilld as fuck too! like! whoa#well so far i havent Actually talked to many of them yet#but i WILL#i will talk to so many people#and next time ill even get my nerves down and actually like. also tell them what i think of them. as actors#bc they should know that theyre literally amazing#especially [rant redacted]#and when i say rant BOY can i go off!!#a biscuit's rambles#anyway i dont think i ever want to leave the theatre#like. in general. theatres are so cool
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My therapist said I need to start thinking about what I want and not what everyone else wants. Why is this so hard? Everything I want is the opposite of what everyone else wants.
#so i just agree with them to avoid a fight#and i need to make my own opinions#which i think i do have#i disagree with ppl about stuff#not v often#in fear of a fight#but i still make it known i disagree#aunt kim was not happy when i said id be fine with trans ppl coming into the bathroom with me and children#she told me they were all going to attack me#which is not true#idk where she gets that idea#most trans ppl are chill#and im sure if they are in the bathroom they must have to do a bathroom activity or two#most ppl dont just go into the bathroom to attack ppl#even most cis ppl dont do that#aunt kim told mom i was aggressive#but she talked about this topic everyday for over a week!#you would think shed figure out she cant change my mind by day four or five#by day eleven i just got pissed#and then she said tey would ALL attack me#which is such a fucking lie#ofc i got pissed off#how can you think a WHOLE group of ppl are going to attack everyone#like#is there some unspoken rule they have about attacking ppl in the bathroom#NO!#what i really wanted to tell her was to shut her fucking mouth.#and ive never heard someone say something so stupid in my life#bc thats true#stupidest thing ive ever heard
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Finally got to meet a lot of the people that my grandma was close to tonight.......by them approaching me and going "You're a grandchild aren't you?"
#i appreciated the conversation#but found it amusing#the way i kept being approached tonight#and even when i said#the other grandchildren are over there#dont think they ever went over and said hi#it was a strange night#along with a former coworker#trying to hook me up#with her son#who ive known#since elementary school#dont think ill ever have this experience again#😂#also kept getting told i look like my grandma#which isnt a bad thing#but ive never heard that#so ive never thought of it#ive always heard how i look like my mom#so it was odd
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