#i dont remember the two other movies as much (other than they werent as good)
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capitainecorbeau · 1 year ago
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So yeah Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a pretty fun movie, I enjoy it a lot, but goddamn the plot kinda happens because everyone is criminally negligent/irresponsible/incompetent in some way. In some cases it's clearly deliberate, in others it's more ambiguous (like you could argue Will forgot about Franklin being potentially infected because he's distracted by his father illness and then death)
But in some cases it's just... what the fuck man. Like you're telling me you've been injecting this chimp with a virus and monitoring her to see its effects and somehow you missed that she was pregnant the whole time????? Or you're a zoo vet and your reaction to some random bloke bringing you his pet chimp to heal is "it's so cool you have a pet chimp" and not "jesus fucking christ are you out of your mind I'm calling animal control"
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constellaj · 4 years ago
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top ten danny phantom episodes based solely on how gay dash is in them
i will not be ranking these based on plot, animation, or literally any other criteria ok here we go
10: Public Enemies
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dash himself is not very gay in this one but danny does beat him up and he gets the angst of being possessed and not remembering what happens. also this screenshot is literally so gay
4/10 for wasted potential in proving dash is gay. this couldve gone so much harder. but bonus points for for passed out dash
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9: Doctor’s Disorders
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fellas is it gay to lock yourself in a bathroom stall so fenturd doesnt see the horrible monster youve become, tell him to ‘get away,’ and then pass out before being able to fight him despite being a school jock who could probably deal some damage and has a better immune system than the other kids? is it also gay to then when your entire life revolves around ghosts and having ghost powers to watch a sappy romcom while waiting for phantom to come save you? the answer is yes. 6/10 again it couldve gone harder
8: Frightmare
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again dash himself isnt explicitly gay in this episode. but danny why is your ultimate dream scenario being best friends with dash and having him know your secret. it gets a higher rating than the other two bc its literally a wish fulfillment scenario aka 174% more gay. but mathematically speaking 2/10 for baiting me with dash in the first two minutes and then never bringing him back
7: Forever Phantom
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“watch it, fentertainment tonight! i’m chasin’ a real somebody!” 10/10
also spending the entire episode devoted to hanging with phantom + another reference to the romance channel. not very nuanced but still very gay
6: Reality Trip
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what do you think it means when the school jock finds out your secret, wastes exactly 0 time in helping you, and finds a way to shoehorn in giving you his clothes to wear while doing it. dash was only in this entire movie for like 4 minutes but damn if he wasnt homosexual for all of them 7/10
5: Ultimate Enemy
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”but dash wasn’t even IN the ultimate enemy!!11!1!” EXACTLY. if older dash had been in the future with dark dan he simply would have smooched him and then there would have been no conflict. if younger dash had shown up to the big fight then dark dan wouldve broke down sobbing at what couldve been. they had to restrain dash from this entire episode bc of his power. 9/10 i know the truth.
4: Splitting Images
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it is important to remember that dash has no goddamn idea that’s sidney. danny literally does 1 (one) nice thing for him and dash decides “ok well i will be his best friend and play football with him and be impressed by his skills and then throw a party and also put my hands on his shoulders several times.” this proves my point that if danny werent a little shit he and dash would already have been dating by the time the show starts. 8/10 for letting dash be mundanely gay instead of knowing anything about ghosts. it doesnt happen very often
3: Attack of the Killer Garage Sale
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do you ever just get a tutor who happens to be the exact sister of that nerd you pick on and also call him a twink and then invite him to your party even though you do not have to and specifically tell him the dress code and get him at the popular kids table and then realize he might not have the money for the dress code so you intentionally seek him out to give him money for some computery thing you dont know about but you also also realize that probably isnt enough so last minute you change the entire dress code to something you know he has and wear his exact outfit to make him seem cool by comparison. do you ever do that.
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also these two shots are back to back 10/10
2: Micro Management
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the pièce de résistance of all dash content. im talking 20 minutes of nonstop dash. im talking taking every opportunity to talk about how cool phantom is. im talking abt getting grabbed by phantom to be saved by him. im talking abt having a mental breakdown cause you think youre not good enough. im talking about casually flirting via jokes. im talking being unable to stop thinking abt fenton even when youre face to face with your biggest hero. im talking about saying “we did it!!! :D” to cheer on said hero. im talking taking his hand. holding his hand. being lifted or pulled. im talking abt flipping the switch to save the day! im talking abt micro fucking management baybey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10
but what in the goddamn world could have more gay dash than micro management??? well ill tell you
1: Pirate Radio
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he SAVES him. he calls him a hero. they are on EQUAL FOOTING and they KNOW IT. they have MATCHING GODDAMN OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!! dashs personality doesnt have to be absolutely scrapped for him to be gay (”but i will be wailing on you”) but he clearly DOES get better (”sorry, old habits.”) he puts his heart and soul into fighting side by side w danny and we dont even SEE dashs parents which means that is Not Exactly The Reason he Is Here. he also believes with 0 hesitation that fenton is capable of throwing a total rager. NO there is not as much dash here as in micro management but. i mean look at these screenshots. THIS is gay representation. THESE are some genuine fucking boyfriends. 18/10
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technowoah · 4 years ago
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if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls
I Can Make It Right
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SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!
Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!
George x reader imagine (established)
11) "It's not important apparently"
17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"
⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing
*** = flashback
Masterlist
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You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.
Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.
George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.
His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.
You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.
You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.
Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.
Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.
***
"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.
It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.
You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.
"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"
"Of course I do-"
"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."
You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."
***
6:03
George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.
6:10
You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.
6:19
Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.
Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!
[Sent: 6:20pm]
George what are you doing?
[Sent: 6:20pm]
You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.
6:30
Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.
In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.
ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:
Im Playing golf with my friends
That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?
You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.
Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.
Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.
"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.
You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.
"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.
"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.
"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.
"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."
"What?! No!"
"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.
George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"
"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.
A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.
"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.
He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"
"Do you know what today is?" You asked.
"April 30th." George answered bluntly.
"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"
"I fucking know that." George said.
"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"
"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.
"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"
"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"
"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"
George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"
"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.
"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"
"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.
"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"
"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.
"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.
"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.
"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.
"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.
"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.
"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"
"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.
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You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.
The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.
Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.
Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.
"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.
You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.
George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.
"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.
George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.
"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.
That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.
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sailorhyunjinz · 4 years ago
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HI BESTIE IMY HEBSBRBS AHH I’ve been so busy ... also recently got super sick and I’ve not been well at all ,, it’s just the flu / a stomach bug tho ! :,) hru ???
Your latest reaction was so good ,, thoughts r being thunk ?? Thinking about skz reaction to you rubbing / jerking their dicks just whenever you’re bored .. and you don’t even really notice that they’re getting off ahah IDK IT JUST SEEMS TO HOT ??
Once they cum or wtv you’re like ;) hsshbrbs
I have a dick but honestly it’s never bothered me reading ur shit directed towards a female reader ? For some reason I really like it bye 😭🤚
-🚬
BABYBOOOY WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?!?! :((( Hope you’re feeling better now, i should give u some of my healing medicin aka my kisses :(( <33 
Also that last bit AAh thank u T-T i try to be more inclusive but like AAAGH im always so scared that i’ll mess something up from my lack of ~ knowledge ~ BUT I REALLY TRY MY BEST >< so thank uuu for having patience for my dumb ass
ANYWAYS SPEED REACTION LEGO 
warnings: skz x gn!reader. handjobs, blowjobs, cum, orgasm (m), cum eating, slight overstimulation
Bangchan
“w-what the fuck” 
yeah thats his only reaction when you suddenly stick your hand down his pants, wrapping your hand around his dick and slowly stroking it while big spooning him
you werent trying to get him off... more like... you wanted something to play with while watching the movie
boy would be ~ flustered ~ 
he’d find it interesting
why would you jerk him off if you didn’t want him to cum yk?
like that type of thoughs
but of course you can’t expect him to not react LMAO
you were fully immersed in the movie because it started to get interesting now and you didn’t notice how you started jerking him off faster. 
until...
you felt something warm and wet hit your hand paired with his dick twitching
you looked at him and saw that poor boy was biting his bottom lip so hard trying to not disturb you with his moans
“did you cum?” you say, lifiting up his pants to which he yelped and put his hands over yours right at his crotch. “n-no”
Minho
be bold with this man 
pull his pants down when he’s just chilling ASHASHA oh god
he doesn’t think it fair 
eventhough he does the exact same to you
when he does it to you it more like he simply wants to feel you all over, not intending for you to get turned on
but make one moan and this mf thinks it a game
“how many times can i get y/n to moan”
NO OK BUT RETURNING TO YOU -> HIM
it would take sum time to get him to cum
he doesnt strike me as the sensitive type and so you could jerk him for quite a while which hey more fun for you
but ooone faithful day he was more turned on than usual leading to him cumming quicker than he usually does during one of those times where you played with his dick
stroking it, running your thumb across the tip, licking it .. you name it...
you smirk when he accidentally cums on your lips and you lick it off and he just starts complaining (yk when jisung bit his fingernail in that two kids room episode, yeah that tone)
“y-you can’t just do that!!” you start chuckling “what? mad that you came like a bitch?” 
nex thing you know you’re pinned against a wall OOP sorry
Changbin
he lives for this BUT only if you give him attention
which you dont because you’re simply bored and dont want to get him off, more like... liking the feeling of having him in your hand lmao
“can you at least look at me?” you shake your head, holding his semi-erect dick in your hand “shh,,, im watching something!” 
that would be the everyday conversation ahsahsha
I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD GO FOR A WHILE??!
he’d be relativly quiet as well so you wouldnt notice until he actually cums and you’re like “...wtf why is my hand sticky”
BRUH U START APOLOGIZING HASHAS HE JUST GLARES AT YOU FOR NOT GIVING YOU ANY ATTENTION
but he came anyways so..
you try to escape the situation but he’s not having it
“nah you’re not escaping now, finish what you started baby”
Hyunjin
another boy thats lives for this 
why? because a) its a handjob b) he likes the thrill of not knowing when you’re bored c) because you forget what you’re doing and he likes seeing you surprised when he cums ASHAHS god bury me 
would purposefully make you bored 
“the wifi is down y/n,, guess we having nothing to do...w-wanna give me a handjob”
you shrug, “alright” 
you’re completely lost in though, wondering when the wifi will return or what you guys should eat for dinner
suddenly he cums,,, a lot,,,
you laugh at him and he’s kind of blushing with his hair covering parts of his face. 
“i-i’m pretty sure the wifi will be down for a while” ;))
Jisung
FUCK YES LETS GO
he would already just be naked infront of you at random times
like,,, whats the point in putting on clothes after the shower if he knows that you are going to sneak up on him and jerk him off yk?
but what this boy didn’t know was how you didn’t notice most of the time
your hand just having a mind of it’s own...
but you’d notice pretty quick 
since this boy LOUD YALL 
whiny mf 
“shush!” you say, scrolling on your phone with one hand and jerking him off with the other.
you didnt intend on making him cum,,, just giving him a massage ASKKASJSKSA
he’d act all like “ppfft... you can’t make me cum from just that-”
and then shuts up because “h-hey... this feels too g-good”
not thinking he’d cum this quick you started talking to him but were quickly cut off from him letting out a long moan
“f-fuck,, y/n..h-haa,,,”
after he cums you’re like “heading to bed”
but he pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with big doe eyes
“c-could we keep going?” 
Felix
boy would be walking around, holding his crotch because he never knows when you attack
because he belong to the more... sensitive bunch of boys... HE DOESNT LIKE IT TOO MUCH
mostly because he’d cum too fast and it would leave him embarrassed (awh poor boy:(( ) 
thats legit the only reason LMAO
noo poor boy wants to appear all tough for you even though you’ve told him over 100 times that he doesn’t have to be, you love him for who he is yk? <33
BUT NOPE stubborn baby sets bets with you
“ok this time i won’t cum that quickly... last time was a practice round”
ASHAHSH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY JESUS
4 minutes later... YEAH YOU GUESSED IT
and you didnt even notice?!?!
you just thought that those sounds were him in like pain ASHShHAS
because you were to preoccupied thinking watching tv
needless to say,,, he was pouty,, for a while
until you attacked again LMAO
Seungmin
ok gimmie a second,,,, i need to think 
alright... he likes it BUT he’s shy
you need to give the puppy some time to warm up 
do it too fast and he gets scared AHSHASH
so ok lets say that the both of you are doing,, nothing
and you just slowly feel him up and it eventually leads to you jerking him off
you’re not even aware of how good he’s feeling with your hand around his cock
“y-y/n can you stop?” 
“stop what- oh”
looking down you notice that he already came, his cum coating the tip and your hand with white thick ropes
NOT THAT HE CAME FAST JUST THAT HE SUFFERED WITH THE SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION ON HIS OWN
goddamn... seungmin is always so difficult to write for ONLY ME?!?!?
seungmin stans are already knocking on my door SORRY IM TRYING
Jeongin
BLUSHY BOY
I REPEAT; BLUSHY BOY
“w-what are you doing y/n~?” he says while your hand travels down the side of his body while the two of you were chilling in bed. “im bored” you huff out, looking him in those big brown eyes. “we can play videogames!” he says trying to make you get your hand out of his pants but you shake your head. “i wanna play with you instead” 
boy would melt
painfully shy (and hard)
because you it all happened so fast??
the two of you were chilling, everything quiet and peaceful and before he knows it you’re jerking him off vigorously
he covers his face with his hands, occasionally sneaking a glance of your pretty face from inbetween his fingers as you give him a handjob
you’d be too focused watching his face as almost falling asleep not noticing the boy squirming around 
until you hear
“h-hghnn...”
thats his cumming sounds btw HAHSHAH IF I WASNT CLEAR ENOUGH
jesus i cant write reactions for shit BUT THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY APPRECIATED SO YEAH!
I have 2 more of these coming up oh and also remember that this is legit word vomit SO ITS NOT PROOF READ AND UHM... i’ll try to do the two other ones this week heheh ^^
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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Manager!Seijoh Part 9
a/n: hehehe this was inspired by that iconic picture in pinterest of akaashi turning into a child
summary: you signed up to take care of grown teenagers who are capable of taking care of themselves-not children
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
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LMAO IS IWA KICKING HIM AND IS THAT MATTSUN SLAPPING HIS FLAT BUTT
so like,,,, you were at a complete loss
this was literally the last thing youd ever think of and you didnt even think it was possible for this to happen!
but before that
get in losers we’re going on a flashback
it was a wednesday so duh practice was normal after school
but you read on your weather app that it would be thunderstorming so you were worried on how the others would walk home and even texted oikawa if he could cancel the after-practice practice
but since the spring competitions were getting close, he wanted to get as much practice as possible, even sometimes doing monday practices, and the coaches were usually out the door once mandatory practice hours were over, letting the boys do more practice with no worry since you were there to handle it
the boys were in the gym practicing and stuff but you could hear the thunderstorms from the distance, the smell of rain already filling the gym
and you knew none of these boys owned or carried an umbrella with them so you were going to go and buy umbrellas for when they go home
‘you guys, ill be right back. im going to go to the store down the street, okay?’
the look you gave to iwa made him nod, knowing he was the one really in charged, since oikawa wasn’t really capable of handling everyone
‘i want to come’
kyo said but you stopped him, placing a comforting hand on his arm
‘ill be really quick so dont miss me too much’
‘come back soon, y/n-chan!’
‘be safe!’
iwa made sure you were bundled up with a raincoat and had your umbrella on hand before you went on your journey
ugh team moms have my heart
thankfully, the store had more than enough for the boys and you were trying to hurry because it was now raining heavily and you wanted to run back so they wouldnt worry
the cashier rang up your total and you were just giving her your card when a VERY BRIGHT LIGHTNING striked from the sky and a VERY LOUD thunderstorm rang in the distance
your heart thumped and it mightve just been your managerial instincts but you knew something was wrong
oh god oikawa must be freaking out right now since he absolutely hates thunderstorms
your worries were evident on your face so the cashier hurriedly handed you your bag full of umbrellas so you were able to sprint out of the door and too much in a hurry to even open your umbrella
the run to the school felt like it was a 10-mile run and when you finally ran towards the gym doors, you slowed to a speed-walk
but you froze
the lights were off and you could hear the screams of a child
well,,,,, more like, children
you entered the gym and fell on your butt in surprise
in front of you, were 9 toddlers who were thankfully covered by the now too-big clothing
they couldnt be over 3 and a half feet tall and looked like they were around 3 or 4 
‘i-i-iwa-san?’
you stuttered and reached a hand forward towards the baby with the black spiky hair but he cried louder, clutching on to the brunette baby
‘oh god’
you were finally starting to realize this situation
‘oh my god, what do i do’
you mumbled, standing up and panicked eyes wandering over each child
they were chibis
3 chibis were sleeping and you could tell each boy by their hairstyle
kunimi, yahaba, and mattsun were sleeping on top of the blue shirts and white shorts
kindaichi was hiccuping, seemingly done with his crying, while oikawa was bawling and screaming with iwaizumi holding on to his hand tightly, eyes also teary
makki was bleary-eyed and watari was just sitting there, eyes wide and lips parted but kyo, with hair turned to his original color yet the same sharp yellow eyes, looked on the verge of crying, hands reaching out to you
you immediately grabbed ahold of oikawa and you were thankful that their shirts were still over their tiny body
‘its okay, oikawa-san, its okay’
thunder rumbled again and this time, woke up the others in fright causing them to also start crying then the others started their own crying because everyone else was crying
you kept oikawa on your arms but ran to check on individual player
‘no,no,no! its okay! look! ball!’
you presented the stray volleyball next to iwaizumi and you guessed he was holding it before he transformed into this child form
‘IM SCARED!’
kindaichi shouted while sobbing and his loud voice startled yahaba even more and got him to cry harder making the others follow suit as well
‘oh no’
you whined and was slowly going crazy by the crying noises
you dont have any siblings so you never got the experience of having to take care of be around a toddler
maybe you should calm each child individually
that would work, right?
you remembered the method you used on oikawa once during training camp and you were hoping that his child self would still use the same calming routine
the speed you had to find your headphones and plug them in to your phone then his ears and playing the ‘big bang theory’ theme song was A S T R O N O M I C A L
you placed him in front of you and wiped the tears that trailed down his chubby cheeks while his little hands held on to your shirt
his cries started to slow down until it was just whimpers and you placed a kiss on his forehead when he finally quieted down
but while you were taking care of their captain, kyo was yelling at yahaba and making him more upset and cry even harder
‘MEAN DOGGIE!’
yahaba shouted and tried to hit kyotani but he hit him back
you pushed both children away and sat them down on their beehinds in front of you
‘no. we dont hit, yahaba-san, and we dont make fun, kyotani-san. time out for you two’
yahaba glared at the floor with tears pricking his eyes but one look from you made him hold it in and bite his lip
iwaizumi looked like he was finally getting ahold of himself as he was calmly sitting down with makki and mattsun by his side
you chortled when mattsun still possessed the same teasing smirk as he did when he was a teenager and his red eyes were now filled with mischief along with makki
iwa looked up at you with bright eyes, as if waiting for a reward or a compliment, and you swallowed your squeal before crouching across him and caressing his cheek
‘good job, iwa-san. iwa-san is a good boy’
he smiled, a smile youve never seen before, then snuggled closer to your palm
the only one really crying was kindaichi while kunimi and watari were also just sitting down
kindaichi’s sobs echoed throughout the gym and as you walked closer, you heard his stomach growl and you instantly knew how to calm him down
the sausage you picked up to feed the strays with kyo later was still in your bag so you peeled the wrapper about halfway and handed it to him
kindaichi stared at it and you had to guide it in his mouth to start eating just to ensure him it was safe and he could eat
the thunder seemed to have died down and all that remained was rain
the boys were starting to shiver from the cold and you were sure the heat in the gym was working before you left but now it wasnt because of the power shutting down
it wouldnt be good if they remained in this cold environemnt and you suddenly remembered that you were still soaked from the rain and was getting colder by the second
maybe it was the panic that shot up your adrenaline and didnt let you realize your own situation
each boy had their jackets thrown to the side but you quickly put it on them so you could bundle them up as best as you can
their shoes were too large for them so you ran to the storage room where there were plastic bags that you used to tie around their feet with their socks
iwa noticed your trembling body and he shakily stood up and ran over to you
you finished tying kindaichi’s bag when you noticed iwa standing there with his arms stretched towards you
‘hug’
he squeaked and you sniffled before wrapping him in your arms and holding him close to you
it seems iwa still possessed his protective instincts from before
by the time all the boys were ready, the rain thankfully reduced to simple sprinkles and you made everyone hold hands
the boys stood on a row in front of you and you seriously talked to them
‘no matter what, never let go of your friend, okay? even you yahaba, kyotani’
the two gave each other a glare but they still clenched each other’s hands
you grasped oikawa and iwa’s hands and the others formed a chain with mattsun holding iwa’s and makki holding oikawa’s and so forth
you figured you could just leave their bags in the gym so you were walking as fast as you could towards home where it would be warm and a safe place to figure out a plan
natsu has seen a lot in his years of living and from being in nekoma in general
but he has been shocked to see this
it was already late and your parents were both at some business trip and he knew you were supposed to be home already but you werent
he was about to call you when the doorbell rang and he figured it was just some person convincing him to be christian
he opened the door, exasperated and irritated
‘listen, im the biggest sinner that has ever-Y/N!’
he shouted in surprise 
there, you stood, shaking and red with a bunch of toddlers
what in the world
‘natsu. m-move’
you stuttered out and he couldnt help but do what you said and he made way for you and the little ducklings
the little boy from the back, the one with yellow eyes, glared at him as he walked past and natsu shook his head in disbelief
‘wha-’
you ran to the temp screen button thing bro i dont know what it is but i have something like an echobee thats like that to turn up the temperature in the house
the boys were still excitedly babbling on about some movie and they were singing songs 
‘PONYO PONYO PONYO-’
poor natsu just stood at the archway by the living room
‘oi, y/n. please tell me you didnt kidnap a bunch of kids’
there was no teasing tone, just pure confusion
you didnt look up from the temp thing and you configured it to rest at 75 degrees fahrenheit fyi
‘something happened. something weird and bad happened. it shouldnt even be possible but it did and im so confused and i dont know what to do’
you rambled and you turned to look at the kids
natsu noticed your frazzled form and he gently grabbed a blanket to drape over you so you could get warm and led you to sit on the couch
‘just tell me, babes. we’ll figure it out’
he reassured and you sighed
‘i-i,,, was g-going to the-the convience store to-uh-get some umbrelllas for the boys but,,, when i was there,, there was a big thunder and boomed and lightining and i knew,,,,i knew there was something wrong and something had happened so i ran back and then bam! i saw them as kids!’
natsu trailed over from your face to the boys and he started to piece together that yes, this was your team
the brunette boy he messed around with and the one with the adorable eyebrows
‘y/n,, babes,, did you dabble with voodoo? bad juju?’
he whispered and you almost cried
‘no! why would i?!’
‘THEN WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BABIES?!’
‘I DONT KNOW! IM NOT DUMBLEDORE!’
‘what are we going to tell their parents?!’
‘that their kids turned to babies?!’
‘yea right! might as well tell them the earth is flat!’
you both went silent for a bit before natsu sighed then turned to you
‘babes, go and shower. go and get warm while i take care of the kids. youre soaked and youre freezing and you’ll get sick. besides, they shouldnt be that bad, right?’
not even caring to answer that question and completely not hearing it, you nodded and groggily went to go bath
the boys saw you leave and they looked at natsu with either wide scared eyes or glaring eyes
especially the boy with the yellow eyes
natsu smirked
‘i know you. what was it? dog? crazy dog?’
there was clear offense in kyo’s face and he easily jumped to natsu’s lap and grabbed his hair to tug on it
‘yey! play time!’
oikawa shrieked and everyone shouted in agreement before joining kyo
natsu screamed as they punched his stomach and pulled his hair
you were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard the screams and you thought it was the boys but you recognized them as natsu’s
you continued showering
the boys were having fun beating up your cousin and natsu seriously wondered if you were taking your sweet time just to let them have their fun
‘oi! if you dont stop! i wont let you play mario kart!’
the boy with a middle part stopped tugging his hair followed by the one with the spiky turnip looking hair
‘maiyo,,,, kat?’
ALKSDFJLSDKFJDFKJDS BABY KINDAICHI STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY
natsu saw them both stop and he excitedly sat up
‘yea! mario kart! you want to play mario kart?! oh my! its so much more fun than playing with natsu-nii!’
he didnt care what they wanted to do as long as it didnt involve him being getting beaten up so he quickly assembled the console and they all rallied around natsu as he set up the game
‘okay. we can play with 4 players at a time. who’s going first?’
there was a bit of hostility among the children as they turned their former soft gazes to hard and competitive looks
‘me!’
‘i wanna!’
‘me!me!me!’
‘stop it kawa-chan!’
‘iwa-chan ow!’
there was great uproar while natsu sighed in relief and leaned against the back of the couch, watching in amusement
there were punches thrown, some shoves, but they ultimately decided on players
begrudgingly it was kyo, kindaichi, mattsun, and watari
the others stayed behind with a pout on their lips and sulked
but as soon as they started playing, those sad looks disappeared and they scooted closer to watch it with interest
‘GO MAKKI! GO!’
‘KENKEN HURRY!’
the only one who wasn’t so in to it was the one with the spiky black hair and green eyes
‘hey, kid, what’s wrong?’
natsu asked and he didnt answer but just looked at him before turning to watch the tv silently
he was about to ask again when you appeared and the boys cheered at your arrival before turning back on the game
you were refreshed and you sat on the loveseat next to natsu’s place on the couch
‘they seem to be having fun’
you smiled but natsu crinkled his eyebrows then pointed to a figure behind the rest
‘the kid’s just been sitting there. i dont know if hes just like that or what but hes not really doing anything’
‘oh, thats just iwa-san. hes normally like that. look. iwa-san! can you please come here?’
at the call for his name, the boy perked up and he excitedly clambered over to sit on your lap
he leaned his back against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair
‘why are you just sitting there, hm? do you not want to play?’
you spoke softly and he shook his head, eyes still on the match
‘friends are happy when playing. i like my friends. im okay’
despite the very child-like voice, there was a sense of maturity in there and you weren’t sure if they still carried the same memories as they had back when they were already teenagers
‘iwa-san, do you know me?’
you asked and he looked up to look at your face
then he shook his head
‘no’
you blanched
and so did natsu
‘so let me get this straight, kid. you let some random stranger take you to their house?’
iwa shrugged
‘she help me and friends. she nice’
you almost squealed but held back and you tightened your arms around him
‘youre sweet, iwa-san’
‘y/n, you could literally be charged of kidnapping right now’
natsu ruined the moment and you glared at him
‘im just trying out a way to help them. and besides, they couldve screamed and cried and ran out but they didnt so i didnt take them against their will’
natsu rolled his eyes before standing up
‘well, im hungry. and these kids cant exactly have take-out. imma go see if we have any food left’
he left you alone with the kids and you encouraged the others to win by cheering for them and smiling at the way they were laughing
man, no matter what age, you still love them
natsu peaked his head out from the doorway
‘we got dino nugggets’
you nodded
‘those should be good’
natsu returned to his spot on the couch and you stared at him
‘what? im too scared to do anything to the oven. remember when i broke the other one?’
you sighed and shook your head
iwa noticed you needing to get up so he was about to move when you placed him on natsu’s lap
‘iwa-san, natsu-kun will take care of you for now, okay?’
iwa didnt object but he didnt like it either
you were pressing the timer on the oven and you opened it to change the racks when you noticed a small figure and hands and feet trying to climb in
in shock, you dropped the rack and grabbed kunimi’s small body
‘kunimi akira! what were you thinking?!’
the baby’s eyes were half-lidded and he looked really tired and the oven was radiating warmth and he thought he could climb in it and sleep
but you knew that he would literally DIE 
you ran him back to the living room and natsu was shocked to hear of what happened
‘HUH?’
‘yea. so try and make sure none of them does something dangerous’
you pleaded and he nodded before taking kunimi’s hand and urging the kid to sleep on his lap instead
you were finally cooking the nuggets and while it cooked, you were grabbing any leftovers for you and natsu to eat
there was little bit of rice and some tonkatsu left so you heated that up and continued to cook until everything was finished
‘boys! natsu! dinner!’
at the mention of food, the kids dropped the controllers and raced to go to the kitchen
natsu trailed behind with a half-asleep kunimi in his arms and iwa who held his hand
‘FOOD!’
kindaichi and oikawa shrieked
you gave each boy their own portion of food and you gave natsu his dinner
‘to be honest, i was surprised we had enough nuggets’
natsu was surprised at the nuggets you still had in the freezer
you shrugged
‘at this point, im not even surprised at anything anymore. i think im just in a dream and im controlling it and somehow, the universe is bending itself to help me’
natsu stared at you as if you grew three heads before chuckling and returning to his food
however
there was no such thing as peaceful dinner with the boys
yahaba was crying that kyo took some of his nuggies
kunimi tried to have one bite of his chicken before toppling over to the side and falling asleep
mattsun was tricking makki by pointing somewhere and when the brownette turns, he would take a nugget
oikawa tried it and iwa almost fell for it but he caught his best friend in time resulting him to hit the choco-hair boy and making tooru cry from the booboo
you sighed, rubbing your temples
‘i swear. my head’
you whined and natsu patted your back before he disappeared somewhere, presumably his room, to get away from the madness
your temper was rising and with how exhausted youve been and the incoming cold you feel is making you irritated
‘BOYS’
of course they stopped as they got scared by your tone and if they were teenagers, they would have the same reaction because youve never used this tone on them
‘kindaichi, wake up kunimi. kyotani, matsukawa, eat your own nuggets. yahaba, oikawa, stop crying. kyotani apologize to yahaba for eating his nuggets and hug him. you too, iwaizumi apologize to tooru for hitting him and hug him’
‘BUT-’
the boys started but you shot them a look
‘NOW’
‘sorry’
they mumbled and they looked at you before going to give the other a hug
‘bakakawa’
iwaizumi mumbled and tooru was about to cry but you scolded iwaizumi again
‘iwa, we don’t call people stupid’
he stared at you then turned away, an obvious pout on his lips and pushed his plate away to sulk
wow 
is parenting this hard?
watari calmly ate his food and you smiled
you scooped him in your arms and you held him close
‘come on, everyone. when youre done eating, how about we watch ponyo? hm?’
as if they werent just sulking, they all cheered and abandoned their food to go running to the living room where you put the movie on
halfway through the movie, someone wanted something sweet
you had iwa on your right, mattsun on your left, watari on your lap and oikawa by your feet so you werent exactly at the position to make something
‘nee-chan, i want choco’
makki asked and you sucked in a sharp breath to calm yourself from how cute he was
you gently asked the others to move so you could go but they held on to a part of you
mattsun and iwa with your arms, watari holding your shirt, oikawa holding your leg
‘come on, guys.do you want choco?’
‘but-but-but’
oikawa blubbered
‘please dont go’
mattsun pleaded quietly
‘ill be back! i swear! please?’
begrudgingly, they let go and you stretched out your legs when you stood up then walked to the kitchen
as you opened the door, you were looking through something when you saw a reflection from the glass of a face
you shrieked and looked behind you, expecting some murderer but it was actually a line of the boys
it was like they followed you into the kitchen like ducklings following their mama duck
‘kyotani!’
you wheezed, seeing it was his face that you saw with those beautiful eyes
‘we missed you, nee-chan’
kindaichi whined with a small voice
you noticed that kunimi wasnt with the group so you assumed he was asleep on the couch
‘you scared nee-chan, boys. but it’s okay’
their puppy eyes made you cry inside but you ushered them to go to the dining room so they could wait there for their drinks
you poured chocolate milk for everyone except for tooru as he was lactose intolerant so you gave him chocolate oat milk
they brought the glass to their lips as you drank coffee and they lit up at the delicious taste
‘mmmm’
they giggled and you chuckled before reaching over to wipe makki’s top lip
‘thank you nee-chan!’
oikawa grinned and they all agreed
‘youre welcome. nee-chan will take care of you when you need it’
by the time midnight struck, you were already in a cuddle pile with the boys
they all fell asleep and you were being laid on by the others
natsu came down for water and saw you being smothered by bodies but he thought it was cute so he took a picture for you to see in the morning
he found the remote and turned off the movie and tv before wishing a whisper of a good night then headed back to his room
the room was filled with snores and you were dead asleep
but you couldnt help but squeeze back the tiny hand that gripped yours
--------------------
mrs l/n and mr. l/n groggily made their way up to the front door
‘god, its so late. im so tired. i want to sleep’
mrs l/n complained
mr l/n immediately fished out his keys and he turned the door to enter their home
it was very quiet and dark so they figured that both you and natsu already went to bed
they dumped their luggage at the entrance, bothering to unpack tomorrow and were making their way to the kitchen for a water 
mrs l/n was making her way to the bathroom when she heard a groan from the living room
her eyes shot wide open and she thought she was so tired that she was hallucinating
but nope
her eyes transfixed itself on a figure that was standing at the middle of the living room
with a shaking hand, she reached over to flicker the lights on and she shrieked at the sight of a naked man
tooru felt sleep immediately leave him at the sound of the woman’s shriek and his eyes fell on someone by the doorway and she was not staring at his face
instead
down there
he followed her sight and my god
oikawa screamed
a/n: hehehe happy new years!!! well,, belated new years!! but we really starting the new year with a buck naked oikawa and a traumatized mom aren’t we? but i hope everyone had a great holiday and im so excited for the start of the new year and what it has in store for us!!! sending much love!!!
240 notes · View notes
brelione · 4 years ago
Text
Love and Hate (The Best Boys)
dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 
Series Masterlist
SHES HEREEEE
Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3
Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.
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You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.
You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.
Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.
 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.
He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.
You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.
He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.
Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.
Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.
Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.
She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.
 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.
You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 
“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 
“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 
“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.
 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 
Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 
The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.
 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.
 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 
“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 
“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 
“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.
“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 
You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.
 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.
 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.
 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.
 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 
“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.
 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 
You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 
“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 
“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 
It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 
The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 
“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 
You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 
He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 
As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 
Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 
He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.
 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 
“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 
He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 
Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.
 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 
Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.
 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 
She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.
 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 
“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 
Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 
Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 
You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.
 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.
 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.
 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 
“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 
It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.
 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 
Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 
Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 
Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 
Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.
 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 
It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.
 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 
Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.
 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 
“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 
He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.
 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 
“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 
“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 
Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 
It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 
He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 
“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.
That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.
 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 
“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 
Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 
Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 
“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.
 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.
 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.
 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.
 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 
There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 
He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.
 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.
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nobody-knose--archive · 4 years ago
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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut
-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago
-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday
-neil cicierega real person momence
-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here
-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson
-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that
-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me
-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times
-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album
-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil
-seesaw effect
-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on
-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange
-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like
-"this part sounds pretty cool right"
-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that
-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on
-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time
-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!
-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know
-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro
(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)
-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.
-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised
-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright
-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway
-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation
-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest
-good god that does only make it worse neil
-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever
-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget
-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this
-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one
-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud
-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that
-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop
-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now
-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above
-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.
-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3
-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3
-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that
-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon
-jirls
-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man
-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album
-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care
-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time
-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way
-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird
-iron my life?
-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up
-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least
-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)
-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder
-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega
-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3
-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean
-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about
-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president
-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon
-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album
-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better
-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil
-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it
-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely
-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience
-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.
-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work
-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)
-spinch
-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil
-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!
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authoratmidnight · 4 years ago
Note
Konami didnt cut ties with Gallop. Konami cut ties with NAS, who hires Gallop as independent contractors. Around last year I believe NAS and its parent company was going through some restructuring, which could explain some things. (1)
Also, DSOD wasnt the one that affected ArcV. DSOD called back veteran animators who no longer work at Gallop as one last hurrah, and the Gallop ones returned by midway ArcV. What mainly caused the mess was ArcV's writer Kamishiro not having a consistent script or plan. Apparently animators werent getting info on time, didnt know what to draw and were forced to make up details on the fly. (2)
This also delayed them from working on Vrains (the next series usually gets worked on one year prior), hence why at Jump Festa 2016, only an image of Yusaku was shown and vague plot details  that dont match up to what we eventually got (rmb when ppl though Yusaku would be shy?). Compare that with Zexal, ArcV and Sevens that all got actual video trailers, something was clearly off behind the scenes. (3)
By the end of ArcV a bunch of outsource animation teams quit (and some in-house as well, like Ebina, which was a serious loss cuz iirc he's been directly trained at Gallop for a while), which left Gallop running on fumes and they had to bring in a different director for Vrains' first 13 eps (apparently he's known for managing serious crunch productions), and also why in S1 there's so much repeated animation, recap episodes, and a minimal cast. (4)
Vrains never truly recovered even during S2 and S3, which probably led to it ending early, along with NAS' restructuring. Plus Konami seems to have wanted a fresh start for Sevens/Rush Duels, which could also explain why there's no Vrains manga.  Last I heard Gallop helped out on Digimon after that, so thankfully they werent shut down, though its unknown if they'll ever come back as the main studio. (5)
As further proof that DSOD is not what derailed ArcV and subsequently Vrains, a TV anime & movie at the same time already happened with 5D's and BBT. There's a mild stumble in 5D's animation but that was it. The next show Zexal turned out fine and in fact is the one with the least issues. ArcV's issues are its own, where the head writer couldnt agree on a direction, got too ambitious, didnt plan ahead, caused extreme crunch that it burnt away a lot of goodwill and animators fled after that (6)
Huh ok, I didn’t realize it was NAS. Everything I heard was that it was Gallop. Either way tho they stopped working with Gallop in the end.
I swear i remember hearing somewhere that DSOD did take some of the resources that Arc V was using (idk if it was animators or what) so Arc V ended up working with less. At the very least the creation of DSOD seemed to coincide with Arc V beginning to struggle.
I DID know about the animators not getting shit on time cause I remember seeing a tweet about that. I think it was why Zarc/Zarc’s monsters where, like that. They’re wizards for managing to actually give us stuff tho.
I wonder if that’s why Dragon!Zarc was just, never consistent in what he looked like. No model prepped to work from.
I have to admit, I have no idea what reveals were like for Zexal or Arc V cause I jumped in part way through A5 so VRAINS was my intro to that, but I do remember getting a short clip for Sevens. And yeah, the whole ‘taking a step forward’ and ‘being new to dueling’ aspects just, don’t exist (unless it’s everyone else’s perspective on Yusaku lol). I always did wonder what happened with that.
The poor first director. I knew about VRAINS have two different directors and why all the recaps in s1 (and the poor guy constantly apologizing) and how director one got replaced.
Poor VRAINS had so many behind the scenes production issues. Sad. So much wasted potential.
I have no idea if Gallop helped out on Digimon but I did hear that Noh Gil-bo did some work on it. And I think some of the animators went to work on Shadowverse (which is why some ppl said it felt more ‘yugioh’ than Sevens, which is a lie cause Sevens still feels very ygo to me). I hope the other animators found good work.
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simpmeon · 4 years ago
Text
Lilith Head Cannons
Just some random headcannons I have about Lilith and her personality and interactions with the other characters. Might do a part two if I can come up with more. Sorry if they're all scrambled I literally was like "thought. Thumbs. Post." Djdjjdjd enjoy. Also!!! If you want to add more to the post feel free and remember that this is not cannon, just my opinion on her character, or really her absence of one.
General Head Cannons
I like to think she also was an artist, especially sculpting and painting. She loved the statues of the ancient Greek Gods and would often try to mimic them to look like her father or her brothers. She was also there for the renaissance and fell in love with the style of the time and would paint beautiful portraits of her family that would hang on the walls. In her room dedicated to her in Devildom, there are paintings of flowers that I would like to believe that she painted.
A master storyteller. She would tell all the brothers stories that she would make up on spot before bed. It started as a cute toddler thing, her babbling nonsense for hours before they all went to sleep, but it soon became a thing that neither of the brothers could fall asleep properly without having a story told to them. Soon the useless babbling told into brave and riveting tales that would take hours to tell, and by then Belphie was guaranteed to be the first to fall asleep.
After the fall, all of the brothers could not go to sleep, not because of persisting nightmares, but because their little sister was not there to tell them a story
She's a great fighter. At first she learned basics in case her overprotective big brothers werent there to protect her, but soon she was on par with some of the top fighters in all of the Celestial Realm. She even managed to knock Lucifer down in mid air combat, despite being the strongest physically. This came in handy when her brothers would get into fights and she would often play middle man and have to physically pull them apart and toss them across the room.
She was the fastest out of all of them. Mammon is canonically the fastest out of the current demon bros, but when him and Lilith played tag, you could barely see anything besides the blur of wings. She has outran him several times and often managed to duck out of lectures from her oldest brother simply by just taking off.
She loved to bake and cook for her brothers a lot and often taught some of the newer apprentices the archangels favorite recipies so that they can prepare it for them. She loved teaching them because she would often fill the waiting time with embarrassing stories about her brothers and the archangels. ("No Luci I dont know where they learned that your drool in your sleep...")
Fiery personality, which was often her savior and her doom. She took no nonsense from anyone, rather they be a random demon, an archangel, her own brothers, or even her father. If she didn't like something that was said or a decision that was being made she would not hesitate to speak her mind no matter what the consequences were.
Insanely smart because of all the times she would spend in the Celestial Realms many libraries. No one would peg her to be the studious one out of the bunch, but she just found all the information fascinating. However, just because she is book smart she lacks common sense and street smarts which proves itself when she placed her hand in fire because "she wanted to see what it felt like". Many people think the scars on her body are from battles, but in reality its because she decided she wanted to be her own personal test subject, no matter how dangerous they would be. ("Hey Luci do you think I could bite through selenite?" "Lilith nO-" )
Asks "Can this kill a human?" a lot and to newer angel's it sounds like shes plotting to take a humans life, but to those used to her antics they would just sigh and respond with a "Yes Lilith" or "No Lilith that can not kill a human."
Snorts when she laughs. Theres no other explanation I just feel that she does. Full belly laughs in private, sweet delicate laugh in public to play up her delicate fragile flower persona that she hated so much.
Just like how I feel like she scrunches her nose up when she gets angry and how she will literally get right up in Lucifers face whenever he pisses her off, no matter what protests she hears from her brothers.
Lucifer 
I like to believe that, like Lucifer, she was attracted to the piano. Lucifer would often be playing melodies in the sun room in the Celestial Realm and Lilith would always be the one to find him first. He taught her how to play and even if she just banged on the keys, Lucifer still found her endearing. As she grew older though, the two of them became the best piano players in all of the realm. Didn’t help that she was also regarded as one of the best singers in the entire realm too.
Loved helping Lucifer and Belphie in organizing and categorizing notes from their father that day. She would often make it a game where they would pick their favorite event from that day both as a way to see if they were actually reading the documents being given to them, and as a way to discuss her and Belphies favorite subject with their big brother.
Her and Lucifer were often regarded as the Jewel and Flower of the Celestial Realm. They were both undeniably gorgeous, not that her brothers werent all gorgeous, but her and Lucifer were often pegged as the most beautiful out of all the siblings.
Both put under undeniable amounts of stress and would often seek to reconcile each other because of it. Lucifer was an archangel and their fathers right hand man, and with Lilith being the only daughter fromt heir father and because of that also having a reputation to uphold as being a mediator, the two of them would often find one another in the arms of each other after a particularly bad day, whether that be Lilith just hugging Lucifer and stroking his hair or Lucifer just having Lilith lay on him as she took a nap.
However their titles came with double edged swords. He often was found reprimanding her for possibly tarnishing her reputation because she would often get caught up in her brothers tricks and pranks. They would often butt heads, but as much as he hated to admit it sometimes, most of the time she was right. She was the only one who could wrangle apologies out of him.
Lucifer often treated Lucifer like she was fragile and that really pissed her off. Whenever she would come back with new scratches and bruises he would often reprimand her for tarnishing her beauty and would have to convince their father to not punish her because of it. She hates being treated like that but knows better than to tell Lucifer that he was being overbearing.
Mammon
Mammon was 100% the brother who didnt want a little sister until he got one.
Super cuddly with Mammon. In her early years Mammon was often the one who who she would just snuggle up into and fall asleep on, besides when she went to bed at night with Beel and Belphie. He would just be chilling on a couch after a days worth of work and suddenly would have a tiny baby foot stepping on his cheeks trying to get comfortable on his chest. Soon that's just how they would fall asleep together. Although Mammon would always deny that she wasnt cute whenever his brothers would catch them napping together and how he protectively held her.
Mammon was also the brother to try to use Lilith’s cuteness to woo people and definitely had her in those chest baby carriers whenever he went out of the house.
Lilith was really the only one would dote on him and treat him like a role model and he lived for every second of it. "The Great Mammon" nickname actually came from Lilith whenever she and Mammon would be playing with some dolls whenever she was younger and she called him that after her other brothers refused to play with her.
Mammon and her were the mischief causing duo. Lucifer quickly learned not to leave those two alone after her came home one day and found the two of them covered in flour and melted chocolate after they attempted to make cookies together. The mess was not what concerned Lucifer the most, but rather the fact that the oven looked like it caught on fire in the process. 
Her favorite person to play with because he was rough with her and almost as quick as she was, so games like tag and duck duck goose always melted into a high speed chase between the both of them. They were also highly competitive with each other and would often try to one up each other.
Can’t beat the one time Mammon managed to swipe the spell to make animals and decided to make one of toddler Lilith’s funny looking animal drawings an actual animal for her. Both Lucifer and God did not appreciate the sudden swarms of what Lilith dubbed “Platypus” running around the Earth, but God is a weak man and when he tried to chastise Mammon, she started crying about how he was a good older brother for making her drawing come to life and God let them stay.
He was probably the one she was closest to besides Beel and Belphie. Even though she would go to Lucifer for more deeper philosophical conversations, it was rare to see her not in Mammons room after a stressful day. He and Asmo were the dedicated ranting brothers because both of them would hype her up. Mammon was still her favorite person to snuggle up to and nap on. She would never admit that to Belphie but it was true. Mammon was just always so warm and comforting that she would go out of her way to snuggle up and watch movies with him.
Of course she was also the kind of sister who would throw popcorn at him from across the room, steal his clothes while he was showering, and blame petty things like stealing cookies on him. Their fights were never more than senseless bickering that would often lead to them calling each other names, but god forbid if any other angel agreed with the insults. The chances of having a fist connect with their face just increased, especially if it's one of their other brothers.
Levi
Levi probably was the one with the weakest bond with her out of all his brothers. He felt jealous how she would usually seek out the others before she came to him, but on the days where she would seek him out they would waste the entire day together. Levi’s tendency to love games started when he and Lilith would pass time playing chess and checkers. They would constantly challenge each other and every game had new tricks. 
Levi always had an obsessive personality and Lilith was always the one to stand up for him and even got him things to help with it, for example he was really into sea creatures at the time and so Lilith made him a clay sculpture of a whale and the boy nearly lost his mind. She never made fun of him. 
Most people who knew him as the crazy otaku would never peg him to be the chess mastermind but he could beat Lucifer ten times over from across the House of Lamentation with his eyes closed because of her. 
Her and Levi also were master strategists. She and Levi's pranks were so elaborate and so well thought out that Lucifer himself would be caught off guard. Sometimes it would be something as simply as moving everything in Lucifers room an inch to the right so he could stub his toe on his furniture and other times it would be slowly replacing people in the intricate paintings on the ceilings in the Celestial Realms cathedrals with poorly paintings of rubber ducks. Simeon when he came to Devildom still talks about how hes still finding some to this day.
Loves making Levi laugh. She would play whatever games with him to make him laugh. He would actually be the one to bathe baby Lilith because he would constantly make shapes and creatures in the water to entertain her. He treasures those moments in the giant bathtub just making horses and other animals out of water.
As she got older, it went from the bathtub to fountains. Lilith could be found tending the garden and suddenly would feel something wet by her hand and realize that an animal made of water just brushed against her and it always made her smile because it meant that Levi was near.
Because he was in charge of the Earths oceans, he was rarely home. When his father said that they have to keep an eye out on all creatures he didn't realize he meant ALL creatures. On particularly bad days where he was missing his family, he would always contact Lilith. Lilith always had time for Levi and even if she didnt she would make the time. He would tell her all about the marine life and how the water felt and Lilith always made sure to keep track of his discoveries in her various notebooks. Because their time together was often limited, Levi couldnt help but feel a tinge of bitterness towards his brothers.
Satan
Even though Satan never physically met Lilith, she was quite troublesome for him. Whenever Lucifer was about to go on a rampage, Lilith was always the one to calm Lucifer down. Even if the rage was directed at her, she always managed to calm Lucifer down and have him think rationally.
Satan knows the most about humans only because of the distant memories of Lilith talking Lucifers ear off about humans.
Even though he never physically learned to play the piano, he knows how to play both Lucifers and Liliths melodies by heart from hearing them both so much. Whenever Satan is restless he'll often play Liliths melodies on the piano to calm him down.
The only thoughtful gift he ever gave his brothers was a book of all the stories he could remember Lilith telling them. He claims it's because he wanted Lucifer to feel irreconcilable sadness when reading them, but its truly because whenever he was having a flare up of wrath he would go out of his way to find the book and read the stories to calm down.
Even after her death and after he sprang to creation, Lilith was still one of the only people to calm him down.
Asmo
She loved to play princess with Asmo. She would be a little bossy towards him, but he just adored the fact that he was the one who would braid her hair and blush her cheeks.
He always made sure to be front row for her “fashion” shows and as she got older and more interested in art, he was always the first to volunteer for her to practice anatomy.
He would always take the time out of his day to paint her nails all sorts of pretty colors, her favorite shade being lavender. He was in charge of keeping the Celestial Realm beautiful, and he couldnt let one of his fathers treasures be nothing short of beautiful at all times. Lilith didnt mind because it just meant that her and Asmo could vent together.
Asmo and Lilith have a garden in the Celestial Realm. Technically, they're in charge of all the gardens, but the two of them have a very specific garden dedicated just to the two of them. Their father has very strict rules about what flowers grew where in the realm, but Lilith and Asmo's garden had pink and yellow roses, amaryllis's, tulips, blue bonnets, fox gloves, hibiscus's you named them they had them all in their garden. There were several statues made by Lilith and Asmo even risked getting his fingernails dirty in order to install a beautiful stone archway with a bench. It was like their own oasis just for them. They would have afternoon tea in their garden, gossip about the archangels, even talk about how cute some of the angels are turning out as they grew up.
Like Levi, he also rarely got chances to spend time with Lilith, and if they did have time together it was only for about an hour before one of the angels would just whisk her away to finish a task, but sometimes late at night he would find her in the garden reading a book or tending to the plants.
Would design most of her Celestial Realm outfits or put together her outfits for the day. Paint her nails and do her makeup the whole nine yards, seeing as she and her brother were the face of the Celestial Realm.
Beel & Belphie
They were probably the ones who saw Lilith the most. Not "The Delicate Flower of The Celestial Realm" Lilith, but Lilith herself, with her arms freshly covered in open wounds from combat training, dried paint streaked across her forehead, hair sticking to her forehead with sweat, and hands shaking and covered in blisters and bandages from her gripping her sword too tight.
They'd be the first of the brothers to know about her training, mainly because they caught her trying to tend to a wound on her shoulder blade and they would help her tend to the wound, mentally cursing Simeon for getting too close to her wings.
She was the most comfortable around those two. She would dress casually around them and would often indulge in her more unladylike tendencies because she knew they wouldnt judge her. In fact, Beel was often the one to lug her completed sculptures around the Celestial Realm and Belphie was always in her studio to watch her paint and sculpt.
Her and Belphie would often spend countless hours under the stars of the Celestial Realm just watching and observing the humans below. Her and Belphie would even disguise themselves to get more up close and personal with them.
Loved lazy afternoons where they would all fall asleep on top of each other with the warmth of the sun on their faces. Especially loved the post nap snacks and baked goods afterwards.
Favorite sparring partner was Beel because he knew he could give her his all and shed be able to strike him down. In fact how the rest of her brothers found out about Lilith being a skilled fighter is when they all rushed into the battle chambers and saw Lilith soar over Beel and then full force swing her leg around onto Beels stomach, sending him plummeting to the ground with a loud crash, followed by Lilith hovering in midair, blood trickling from her lips and her arms covered in fresh bruises. That was the first time she ever landed a hit on Beel and her brothers were there to realize that the Flower of The Celestial Realm was a double edged sword. Soon she was having routine sparring matches with her brothers, Simeon being her coach on how to take them down.
Her, Belphie, and Beel all shared a bedroom. Lilith had her own bedroom with her own bathroom, but spent more of her time with Beel and Belphie because that's where she felt the most comfortable. Belphie especially specialized in making sure she didnt have nightmares that night.
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wxsuthorn · 4 years ago
Text
ranking every single asian drama/series/movie that i have ever watched
(this isn’t 100% accurate cuz I’ve decided to include shows that are still airing and they may move up or down on the list once they’ve finished airing. Shows with multiple seasons/spin-offs will be counted as one unless I decided that they’re too different to be in one rank. And lastly, I don’t dislike the shows that are low on the list—unless I explicitly say so—I’ve just watched a shitload of dramas, so don’t attack me if ur fave is at 26 or smth lmao)
I did my best to keep the explanations short and avoid spoilers
1. The Gifted
Are you surprised? Do I even need to explain?
2. HIStory 3: Trapped
Again, should be pretty self-explanatory. The plot? The acting? The tropes? Utter perfection. 
3. 3 Will Be Free
Haha. 3wbf... is 3rd place. It’s just amazing and so criminally underrated. 
4. Until We Meet Again
I LOVE THIS SHOW SM I WATCHED IT 7 TIMES KLJFSLKJDFS I JUST LOVE IT PLUS FLUKE’S ACTING AND DEANPHARM ARE JUST SO HEALTHY AND WHOLESOME AND CARING I LOVE THEM.
5. He’s Coming To Me
a GODLY show !!! SO UNDERRATED. Ugh that rooftop scene TT.
6. The Untamed
I know it’s shocking that this isn’t higher up IM SORRY OKAY but this show was so good i cried so much lksjlfjdsfdjlkf GOD TIER.
7. Theory of Love
G O D L Y. It has the best scenes that just punch you in the gut and make you cry while you think about them at night.
8. Great Men Academy
WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. anyways i would die for tangmo.
9. Cherry Magic
MY FAVOURITE ON AIR SHOW. It’s so fucking good and it’s sooooo relatable and cute and fun and just GOOD. Ugh it’s a whole blessing. Literally the concept is also just amazing, plus the representation is actually accurate?? LIKE ITS SO RELATABLE JLSJFKJKJKD AND REAL. AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO KLJLKFJDLKJLSKJD.
10. I Told Sunset About You
THE SETS ARE SO PRETTY. THE VISUALS. ASTOUNDING. THE ACTING KSLJFKJLDF. It exceeded my expectations holy crap and the chinese culture incorporated into it feels so nice and genuine. literally i watched some of it today before my chinese class lmao. OMG AND THE OST.
11. Mr. Heart
ugh this show stole my heart (pun intended).
12. Dark Blue Kiss
SO. GODDAMN. UNDERRATED. THE WAY IT ACCURATELY REPS LGBTQ+ YOUTH’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR PARENTS AND COMING OUT AND EXPECTATIONS G O D L Y
13. Oxygen
SOFT. HEALTHY. CUTE. H E I G H T  D I F F E R E N C E.
14. 2gether
would’ve been higher if it werent for the last two episodes of the show, but still2gether redeemed it quite a bit.
15. HIStory 2: Crossing The Line
QIU ZIXUAN LKDSJFLDJLJFDKJSLJ CUTE AS FUCK.
16. Where Your Eyes Linger
tHAT OST. AND THE LAST SCENE. I MEAN SHIT SLJFSDKJFLSDJFK.
17. HIStory 2: Right or Wrong
it’s so soft and at first i was so hesitant to watch it with the age gap but it was surprisingly like really healthy? and like the mom with the fruit knife?
18. Love By Chance
IM SORRY I PUT THIS SO LOW its just that klano and tumtar were not my cup of tea and i watched it mostly for aepete only for them to be apart at the end of season 1. I like season 2 but this time i only have tincan...
19. Gameboys
okay i was going to put this way higher because ITS SO FUCKING GOOD LITERALLY but then again i felt more impressed/attached to the ones above... BUT LITERALLY PEARL AND CAIREEL ARE JUST SDLSJDFSKDFL THE BEST.
20. Sotus
If i could put multiple shows in one rank i would but ive decided not too cuz then there would only be 6 ranks with 10 shows in each one... that’s why sotus is so low TT SORRY I LOVE IT BUT I LOVE OTHER SHOWS A LITTLE MORE.
21. 2Moons2
it was enjoyable. I didn’t like the main couple much tho.
22. Red Wine In The Dark Night
omg this movie i really liked it especially the ending it was really symbolic and i really like slight-horror type things. also FLUKE !!!! a KING of acting.
23. Transit Girls
SOFT WLW.
24. My Engineer
don’t get me wrong i love this show BUT it’s yet another engineering concept and i just don’t see it going above the other dramas...
25. Why R U
the plot was messy but the chemistry between the actors saved the entire show.
26. TharnType
I KNOW ITS LOW DONT KILL ME the plot was good but i don’t like how lhong was painted as a misunderstood little boi like HE IS A CRIMINAL DONT GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION ARC AND DONT TRY TO MAKE ME PITY HIM. also the non-con was uncomfy as hell.
27. A Round Trip To Love
THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND SYMBOLISM ON GOD ISLJFDLJD. i don’t see this movie as like... an example of a healthy relationship... but the story itself is really interesting and the way the characters change yet stay the same is cool.
28. The Shipper
i enjoyed watching it but i dont think i could rewatch it. it was good nonetheless, i don’t regret watching it at all.
29. Together With Me
it’s good. but the side plots/side couples were not it. yihwa is a queen tho.
30. Ingredients
SOOOOO CUTE LSKJFDKJJF. but the plot is kinda nonexistent but IT DOESNT MATTER CUZ ITS CUTE AND FLUFFY AND UWU AND JEFF.
31. The Effect
this show gave me depression but damn the theme was so real. 
32. Guardian
everything was going great until the jin ling dude got a girlfriend and the end happened.
33. History 3: Make Our Days Count
i was spoiled for the ending and it ruined my watching experience TT
34. YYY
i love it
35. Addicted
It was my first bl drama and i really liked it but again the non-con/kidnapping thing makes me uncomfy. also IT WAS DISCONTINUED IM SO SAD SLKDJFLSKJDFKSJD IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER THEN WAS CANCELLED TT
36. Make It Right
fuse took too long to break up with his gf honestly oasflsajdfaldj bUT FRAME AND BOOK.
37. My Gear And Your Gown
CUTE but its another engineering x medical student trope and it’s still airing so i dont have too much of an opinion on it.
38. Pearl Next Door
its still airing (only 2 eps are out as of the time im writing this) and istg if pearlex isnt endgame im suing.
39. Friend Zone
first season was good but season two is gripping me by the throat. 
40. Because Of You 2020
CUTE
41. The Lover
i only watched the bl cuts but they were cute
42. Lovesick
season one was great but season 2 was too long i skipped so much of it lmao.
43. Puppy Honey
ngl i only watched it for offgun lmao. season one was good and i watched the hets too but season 2 was when i only watched the offgun scenes lmao
44. En Of Love
tossara was my fave cuz they cute and healthy. 
45. As If You Whisper
it was so short but so nice TT.
46. I’m Tee, Me Too 
still airing... kinda pointless?
47. 2 Moons
the acting... oof
48. My Dream
it started out so promising but THE FUCKING ENDING WAS LKSDJFLKS
49. Kiss + Kiss Me Again
I only watched the petekao scenes lmao.
50. History 1: Away From Me
cutee
51. History 1: Obsession
interesting? 
52. HIStory 1: My Hero
fine
53. My Day
i dropped it... tell me if i should get back into it cuz i kinda just wasn’t feeling it.
54. Lily Fever
cute wlw but it made no sense?
55. Hotel Stars
sorta dry lmao
56. The Best Twins
i dropped it but thor was epic
57. Reminders
PERTH’S ACTING KSJLFDJL but like what was the point? idk it was kinda frustrating.
58. 2Wish
i honestly don’t even remember what happened lmao
59. The Moment; I Need You
i just couldn’t when the guy faked an od. other than that it was eh. second season was better than the first (idk if it counts as a season tho cuz its so short)
60. Waterboyy (series)
DISGUSTING I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS TERRIBLE FUCK THIS SHOW I DESPISE IT
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halorocks1214 · 5 years ago
Text
the law of relativity
AO3 Link
Word Count: 9963
Summary: The Law of Relativity states that each person will receive a series of problems (‘tests of initiation’) for the purpose of strengthening the ‘light’ within. We must consider each of these tests to be a challenge and remain connected to our hearts when proceeding to solve the problems. This law also teaches us to compare our problems to others’ problems and put everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position. It is all relative
Previous Parts (in order): Alan | Virgil | You are here! | Gordon
WHY 👏🏼 CANT 👏🏼 I 👏🏼 WRITE 👏🏼 FICS 👏🏼 IN 👏🏼 MO 👏🏼 DER 👏🏼 RATION 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 also just bluuuergh. dont ask about this fic. part of it was written in a dark auditorium, another was written in a different state, another was written on a frickin bus, this fic has been places ill tell you what. half the time i think this is hot garbage and the other half i think its actually decent so im posting this while my head is in a good headspace and then promptly yeeting myself off the internet for a few hours to wait and see what happens. this series is becoming less of a canon divergence AU and more of a straight-up AU because of certain details im trying to worm in there buT IM TRYING MY BEST
thanks once more to @gumnut-logic, because of the length, this time i used three prompts, them being "What do you mean?", crease, and dream (and they werent even used that much sksksksk)
Warnings for both graphic and non-graphic depictions of violence, as well as mentions of torture and other PTSD/panic attack related stuff. I went deep with this one fellas
Orphan.
The word tasted dirty in his mouth.
He can still see the footage in the backs of his eyelids from when he watched it exactly one year ago. He was the only other (living) adult at the time in the family outside of Grandma, so he was permitted to see it. He remembered they originally didn’t want to show him, mainly because of his age, but Grandma was fierce, and she put one hell of an argument on the table.
One Scott refused to let fall through the cracks by breaking down. If only Grandma knew how he cried his eyes out and screamed to high heaven that night in the hotel room after essentially watching his father be blown to bloody smithereens then she was a goddamn saint for keeping it a secret. It made sense, she was the mother to his father. She had quite the line up of stories from Jeff’s childhood. Scott sensed the early-greying of his hair came from her, heh.
The rest of his family eventually saw it, of course, they did. Scott couldn’t shield them forever. What he will protect, selfishly he might add, was how angry he was at how much better they took it than he did. They cried, yes they did, but they never fully broke down like Scott did. Later in life, he wondered if it was jealousy: jealousy at not truly being able to let go. Whatever it was, he made sure to swallow it along with whatever alcohol he chose for the weekend.
Just add it to the ever-growing pile of shit he had to deal with. Nothing new.
Suddenly he’s 20 again and seated in a plane to be taken to his first stint in the Air Force. He said his goodbyes to Virgil, Gordon, and Alan back at home while Grandma and John metaphorically held his hand all the way to the airport. John was… quiet, more so than usual, but Grandma was stuck right in the middle between being a sobbing mess and ecstatic at the fine young man he’s become.
You’re just like your father. He would be proud.
Scott was secretly glad she never physically said it. It gave him plausible deniability in thinking that those words weren’t laced behind her big, bright, prideful eyes.
The first time went well, maybe even great. He stayed for a couple of months, did some flight tests, and while the training was brutal, boy did he learn a lot. When he came back home it was to a family slowly stitching itself back together. Grandma was a full-time house member, Virgil had taken up painting, Gordon talked about potentially going back to his swim meets, and while Alan was still as silent as ever, he was perkier than when Scott last saw him.
It would be on and off for the next few years: a couple of months at home, slowly and painfully taking over the role their father had (he can’t remember when he essentially received joint custody of his younger siblings with Grandma, but hey, he’s not complaining), then a couple of months out at the Air Force base where he slowly climbed up the ranking platform. He became skillful, perhaps too skillful. When he got his rank of Captain he felt it was less of an honor and more of something they owed him.
He was getting cocky. Never enough to be a danger to his fellow men, but enough to be somewhat of an occasional annoyance. Charles smacked him upside the head more than once. It felt like the world was right-side-up for once. Scott made many-a-calls to John and Virgil, the former enjoying his first few rotations up in space and the latter squarely in the middle of college. Gordon was being offered sponsorships to hell and back, and Alan was quietly getting along with the other kids at his school. Grandma was on welcoming duty for Kayo, who was taking her slot in the Tracy family with grace, though, a warning that their family would take custody of her if something were to happen to her parents would have been nice, Dad.
Of course, nothing ever goes right for their family for too long.
Orphan.
Age 24, it was supposed to be a simple retrieval mission of civilians. Scott was put in charge of his squad and then some. At night, they rolled-- well, flew out to get the job done. Scott can’t even remember the country anymore when minding his own business. Australia? Finland? Perhaps Bangladesh? There was a place John was insistent Scott never do rescues in, Virgil tended to agree, and the eldest unhealthily let them banish him from ever stepping foot there without argument. He could never remember the name off the top of his head until John’s familiar International Rescue, we have a situation rung out in the living room followed by the name of the country.
He would immediately forget it later, trauma too strong, too volatile, but the way his heart stopped and his head shattered and the way he felt ice water rush down his back was a good enough reason to quietly leave the room and let John delegate the job to one of his brothers. Sometimes John found him retching in the toilet halfway through the mission. He made sure to always mute Scott’s wrist communicator, even if it was never turned on in the first place.
The plane touched down. Orders sent the ground team out. But then the ground team took longer than estimated. Scott tensely waited where he was told to. It wasn’t the first mission that took a little longer than predicted and knowing humans, it surely wouldn’t be the last. Then, words mixed with heavy static came over the radio. H--p. Co-- ---7--. --nd ba---p --me--at--y.
Scott sat tensely in his seat, remembering his orders and suddenly hating them. Radio back to home if the mission goes south. Well, it didn’t look like they had the radio anymore. Still didn’t hurt to try at least. Scott spoke the familiar protocol that was ingrained into him when trying to call base. Dammit. Nothing. Probably some kind of blocker of sorts. Sitting up straight as a board, Scott looked through his options.
… He was in charge here. If something happened to his team the fault would lie squarely on his shoulders. Going against everything but his gut, he went out to help his squad. He can’t really remember what he exactly did anymore, but he does remember that it made a noise. Like a Looney Tunes scene: he flinched, froze, waited to see if anything or one heard, breathed a sigh of relief, and continued.
He eventually stumbled across one of his closest comrades, Arnold Brigeets. Yes, the name was ironic and half the reason he joined the force in the first place. The guy was one of the people that actually trained Scott and also seemed to be one of the few that was genuinely proud when Scott became a higher rank. It’s why Scott was more appreciative of Arnold than others, that, and well… Scott thought his fatherly abilities were good. The guy did have three kids back home.
Orphan.
Ducking down behind the cover his older friend was semi-situated behind, Scott watched as Arnold jumped at the intrusion before sighing. Scott had run into some enemies that he swiftly took down-- nothing too serious, he didn’t have the time or weapons for such an act, but they definitely would be out of it for a while-- so Arnold must have too on his way to find cover as well, hence why he was so on edge.
“Thank God,” Arnold wiped his forehead, “Glad to see you join us, kid.”
Scott was breathing heavily, but the grin he attempted was still there, “Y-Yeah, so what happened? More threats than we thought?”
Arnold shook his head, “Yes and no. There were a lot more baddies than we thought, but that’s because the civilians weren’t civilians. It’s a tr--”
Boom. The familiar sound of a gunshot.
Arnold fell over. Never got back up. Dropped like a rock in a lake, never to come up to the surface again.
Scott was so caught off guard he couldn’t react to the gun that swiftly beat him over the head, knocking him out cold. The only thing on his mind was oh fuck oh fuck I messed up I shouldn’t have come I wouldn’t have made any noise that way why did I--
They had him for roughly two weeks. Scott always thought the plotline in movies where the villain vehemently denied knowing any important information was dumb as hell. We’re not stupid. We wouldn’t go after someone if they didn’t know something.
The things they did hurt and no amount of I don’t fucking know anything! would help. Those two weeks were lost to Scott in a sea of pain and torment. The only thing he remembered was being captured, then waking up in a hospital drugged up to his gills with his superiors staring at him like he cured cancer.
“You saved the rest of your squad from sharing the same fate as the first half.”
“I-I did?”
“You betcha, son. I only wish I was there to see it! People be saying you were like an animal in how you took ‘em all down.”
Scott’s never remembered, and he wanted to keep it that way.
He was given the highest honors, even the chance to skip a couple of ranks to be at the same level as the big boys, but the night they were going to share the news to the golden boy himself, they found him in one of the bathrooms with a bloody hand and a mirror shattered with no hope of fixing it.
He was honorably discharged to a family that was so thankful he was home. Words like missing in action and POA never stopped haunting their nightmares. Scott was too, God, of course, he was, but sitting around and doing nothing was the last thing his traumatized mind wanted or maybe even needed. After doing what he considered to be the biggest fuck-up of his life, he needed to feel important.
This isn’t the first time he’ll say this and it surely won’t be the last: thank Christ for Grandma.
“You want me to take over?...”
“Yep, it’s about time Tracy Industries received a new pair of eyes. The Board certainly thinks so.”
“But… they’d rather have a crazy, PTSD-infected veteran over you?”
A rough pinch to his ear, “Hey now, don’t call yourself that,” the gentle motherly tone was back as soon as it left, “Besides, that crazy might exactly be what they want. Half of their argument is that I “don’t take enough risks.” They’re getting tired of listening to an old fart like me.”
A moment of contemplation, followed by the cheeky raise of an eyebrow, “So you’re saying you want me to take so many risks they have no choice but to take you back?”
A bark of laughter, “Damn straight.”
He learned the ropes faster than normal (healthy, is probably the correct term), and he immediately won the hearts of both young and old in the company. Instead of flying planes every few months, he worked on business reports and vetoed new ideas every couple of weeks. It felt satisfying for the most part, and his family was just happy he was still alive to enjoy it.
However, there was a slight roadblock on his way to becoming a somewhat stable person.
He became prone to violent blackouts. It had to have started when he blacked out and saved himself from those two weeks of hell, which made the most sense. Something was always destroyed when he came back to life. John was the best at calming him down due to his own experience with panic attacks, however, John couldn’t always be there, and the next rotation for NASA was coming swiftly. Scott swore up and down he would be fine, he could figure something out. John went back into space with an eyebrow permanently raised.
It was just him and Virgil home (Grandma had taken Alan and Kayo to watch Gordon swim) when he, unfortunately, proved John right. Scott wasn’t sure what triggered it, but he vividly remembered coming back in Virgil’s extremely tight hold. The first thing Scott thought to say was damn, beanstalk, when did you get so strong? but then he laid his eyes upon the forming bruise on his younger bro’s face and hasn’t recovered since.
Virgil swore he never held it against Scott. Scott definitely thought he should have.
That night brought sudden clarity to Scott that he was doing this horribly wrong. He was a ticking time bomb, and it wouldn’t be long before something was damaged in a way that couldn’t be fixed. Scott needed an anchor. Something to ground him before he took it too far. John wasn’t going to be earthside forever, Grandma was busy with Kayo, Alan was just a kid, and Gordon was living the dream. None of them were viable.
Then, as he was thinking, he was suddenly aware of how calming Virgil’s arms were around him, how they were preventing the growing panic attack in his chest from getting even bigger.
It was easy.
For once in Scott’s life, his eyes were big and young as he asked Virgil, “Help me, please.”
After a few brief seconds, Virgil gulped, “Okay.”
From then on, Virgil was Stone Number One. Scott’s admiration for Virgil outweighed the guilt of putting the black-haired man in that position in the first place. Virgil was glad to follow his older brother’s leadership, but just as qualified to bring him the hell back when he went too far. From getting too sacrificial to preventing a good punching-out some of the idiots they dealt with, Virgil made sure Scott knocked that shit off.
Time went on, Scott was a top-notch CEO at Tracy Industries, John was having one hell of a time up in space, Virgil was graduated and had so many life opportunities to pick from, Alan was thriving at being a (mostly) stable kid, Kayo was 100% acclimated to the family, and Gordon--
Scott found himself gripping the wooden desk very abruptly. He was shocked he didn’t snap a chunk off in the process. Why was he thinking about this right after a giant business conference? Who knows at this point. If this giant origin story seemed jagged and jumpy, maybe even somewhat vague, good, that’s how it fucking felt.
Back to said story.
Scott always thought he and Gordon would have the least amount in common.
They do, but out of all the things they could have picked to be similar, why did it have to be the PTSD caused by military-related jobs? Scott was 24 when he got his, Gordon was just under 20. It may have been a few years since their respective accidents, but they’re never going to go another day without it feeling like it was just yesterday.
At this point, Gordon was up and walking again, mainly thanks to John and Alan while Virgil and Scott helped in their own ways. Grandma’s cooking was what probably motivated him the most though, ha, the need to get away from it… Scott smiled. Grandma was always a constant. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, the family might have fallen apart. Literally.
What has he been saying throughout this whole shindig? Thank Christ for Grandma.
One day out of the blue, Grandma reserved the entire family (yes, even Kayo and Alan) private plane tickets so they could spend some time on the mainland for a few days. Honestly, even if the island wasn’t getting major renovations, you hooligans need to get out more. Have some fun. Try not to kill anything, especially each other, she all told them while creepily grinning. John and Virgil smacked Gordon more than once on the plane for insisting that she finally snapped, dudes, she’s gonna kill us.
Most of the time during their little vacation, Scott heavily focused on his breathing. He was pretty sure he knew what she was doing. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but the same went for his excitement.
Dad showed him these plans the day after his 18th birthday. You’re a man now, Scotty, I need your help making this big boy decision with me.
As soon as they reset foot down on the island, Scott took a deep breath and felt relaxed at the salty taste in the air. It was weird, nothing on the outside was changed, and yet… it still felt different.
“Guys!” Virgil yelled out, “Stop playing in the water! We just got back, aren’t you two tired?!”
Blinking back to reality, Scott looked over to see his two youngest brothers doing exactly what Virgil was yelling at them for. Poor Johnny was a little damp too, which is what probably caused Virgil to shout at them in the first place. The blondes didn’t care. They continued to prance around in the shallow waves with their pants legs rolled up, acting as if they didn’t hear anything outside of their laughter. Gordon shoved his hands down into the liquid and threw some directly at Alan, nailing him right in the face.
Scott exhaled slowly. He couldn’t imagine them doing this 8 years ago.
Regardless, the artist was right, and they couldn’t waste too much time. Kayo was swift in grabbing both gentlemen by the ears and dragging them onto dry land. They all painstakingly trekked their way up to the-- what would you call Tracy Island? Mansion? Over-blown cabin? Well, whatever it was, Scott would always be willing to call it home.
Stepping inside, each brother took in the view, which was underwhelmingly not that much different, except for one tiny thing. John suddenly noticed a figure already standing in the living room and blinked, “No way… it’s--”
Gordon jumped in, both with his body and his words, “Brains?! Dude, how’s it hanging?!”
The scientist in question jumped at the voices before clearing his throat and readjusting his glasses, “O-Oh, hello again, T-Tracys. It’s good to see you all once more.”
Virgil slung an arm around his shoulder, ignoring the blatant squawk, “Man, how long has it been?! What made you finally decide to crawl out of your hole?”
Snickers came from all corners of the house. Brains stood up straighter, “W-Well, I was contacted b-by Mrs. Tracy over here with an offer I c-couldn’t turn down.”
Eyebrows tilted in all shapes and sizes. Someone cleared their throat. Everyone turned to look at Grandma once again, “I think if you all follow me, you’ll swiftly understand what I’m talking about.”
I already do, Scott thought matter-of-factly. John seemed to be understanding it now, Virgil was on the cusp of remembering what his father was hinting at for him, and Gordon was just as lost as Alan. It made sense, Jeff talked to all of them about it, but the oldest had seniority. The two youngest not remembering just by words was expected, especially since that was going to be rectified very quickly.
The hangar under the island was beautiful. Point blank. It smelt of iron and steel and grease and engine and that was the first time since Scott had been in the Air Force that he didn’t gag or flinch at the thought of flying something again. Scott had seen the plans his father drew. He assumed Jeff finished building it, but he never got to physically see it since…
In some ways, he was glad he didn’t. Now he got to experience it with (most of) his family, and that made it ten times better.
After letting them absorb the scenery, Grandma slowly turned around to look at them all, “You remember that dream your father had?”
The four oldest blinked, Kayo simply raised her eyebrows, meanwhile, Alan, being the teenager he was, didn’t read the emotion in the room, “Oh, yeah! Aunt Casey always talked about how he was going to “change the world” and stuff. What did he call it again?”
Scott felt way more confident than he had in a while, “International Rescue.”
Grandma nodded, gleeful at the happy look on her oldest and youngest grandsons’ faces, “Well, I’ve been thinking about some things. I know we don’t exactly worry about money, but after everything your father put into these girls… I’d hate for them to go to waste.”
The Tracy family jumped at that. John’s mouth was wide open in shock, yes, shock, “That station is still up there?”
Grandma sighed, “You mean ‘Five? Not for long. Not if we don’t send someone up there within the next few days.”
John blushed at the grin Grandma gave him. Clearing his throat, his big brain came to a startling conclusion, “Wait… you brought Alan along?”
The other big brothers in the room jumped at that. Kayo was the only one with enough balls to say the truth out loud, “Mrs. Tracy, I mean no offense, but he’s--”
“Just a kid?” Grandma smirked, “A kid that’s topped the VR charts for Intergalactic Fury for weeks straight while simultaneously getting nothing but A’s in his classes?”
Scott nodded slowly in comprehension. He remembered Alan talking about that game for a while. It was some kind of online racing simulator of sorts. Scott caught the prettiest string of words from Alan when going to bed one night. Nearly made him shit his pants. He made the kid promise to keep it PG-13 if he wanted to keep playing.
Still, the elders in the family slowly turned to look at the freckled boy with both shock and pride. Alan blinked with wide-eyed innocence, “But my English class is only at a B--”
“Shh, kiddo, I’m making a point,” Grandma rolled her eyes. The other brothers snickered. Yep, still Alan. Grandma sighed, “Now before you point out that video games are different, I know, but the difference between them and this is that video games don’t have some of the most talented older brothers in the world to guide him.”
Said older brothers jumped at the idea. Before any objection could be made, Grandma continued, “Besides, the GDF seemed to be okay with it. The Colonel was willing to oversee some of his training too.”
John flinched at that, “But IR is supposed to be independent!”
Grandma slightly frowned. She didn’t exactly like it either, “It still is, but in the world of business, compromises have to be made.”
Virgil huffed and crossed his arms, “Well, that’s… rough. Here I thought only Scott would have to deal with the bullshit of business.”
Grandma chuckled at the somewhat un-Virgil-like behavior, “It really is, Virgil. But about that Scott part,” she slowly turned to look at him and him only, “I hate to give you more work to do, but if you want to work within their restrictions?”
Suddenly every pair of eyes in the room was on the head of the family. Gulping, Scott looked down at his feet to think. It was a tense few moments, nobody sure what he was going to decide, least of all him, before the brunette cleared his throat and brought his face back up with a grin.
“Well then,” Scott turned to look at the bright tip of ‘One, chest fluttering with a feeling that became unfamiliar to him over the past few years, “I guess now it’s time to state the obvious.”
From then on, every time he loaded into that cockpit of his girl, he felt lighter than air.
“Thunderbirds are GO!”
Everything was okay again.
Mostly.
Orphan.
Scott took another sip of his whiskey and refocused on his reports.
---
Scott was in some kind of dissociative state the whole way home.
Alan doesn’t deserve this. He’s still a kid, barely an adult, and he’s going to go through utter hell because you screwed up. You were 24, Gordon was just under 20, Alan was barely 18. Alan’s going to get fucked up like you and it’s all your fault.
His movements were robotic and rigid. Anyone with a working eye could tell he was deep in shock and running on autopilot. Mostly Jeff. Especially Jeff. The rest of the brothers all noticed too, but they were also running on their own empty fuel tanks, so the only thing they could do was guilty send their older brother the occasional glance of pity and concern.
Jeff was going to need to talk to them about that. Somehow. Maybe he shouldn’t be the one to point it out since he feels just as bad. His sons were too much like him, sometimes, and that made his guilt burn all the same. He should’ve been there to warn his sons about the dangers of unnecessary guilt. Having that kind of guilt was a parent’s job, dammit, and maybe grandparents only occasionally.
But then he remembered where he’s been for the past 8 years and… who really was Alan’s parents anymore? His gut was screaming it sure as hell isn’t you, but he knew his sons would want him to step back into the role as soon as he was physically fit to do so, not just for Alan, but for themselves as well. They would deny it, but they probably just wanted to be kids again too, even if it was only brief, fleeting moments.
Who was to tell the protective, fatherly side of Jeff no to that? No better time to fix things like the present after all.
He saw Scott go up the stairs when they first stepped into the living room, so that’s where Jeff was going to go too. Footsteps light, Jeff retraced his eldest’s pathway to his bedroom. Only, he stopped before said bedroom. Unfavorable noises were coming from the closed bathroom door, and Jeff could only swallow whatever emotion it made him feel. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the (unlocked) door to the bathroom and laid his eyes upon the incriminating scene.
Jeff was met with the sight of Scott retching his entire stomach into the toilet, hands aggressively grabbing his sticky, hair-gelled hair and trying to make himself bald from the strain.
Jeff’s reaction was always based on autopilot, and it will never stop being so.
Ignoring his protesting body, Jeff kneeled and placed a hand on his son’s back, only to abruptly pull back like he touched a hot stove when Scott only got more hysterical at the contact. The brunette clenched his eyes shut even more (and they were already shut as much as possible) while his head became a special kind of crease. Like he was in pain, “God, I wanna go home. Why won’t they listen I swear I’m telling the truth! Please, I just want Dad--”
Jeff was frozen on the spot, heart stopping in the process. His brain shut down while he watched his son continue to mindlessly ramble and panic. His freaked-out mind barely registered footsteps from behind in the hallway, followed by a voice going what’s going-- holy--
Something thundered past him. Blinking once, Jeff guiltily watched as Virgil kneeled behind the eldest and wrapped his arms around the thin man���s shoulders while taking Scott’s hands in his in a protective blanket, “Scott! Jesus-- we’re at home, you’re safe and it’s June 14th, 2--”
Scott only struggled more, panicking at the fact he could no longer yank his hair out. Dammit, it was the only way he could feel in control, don’t take that away too! “No! I swear I’ve said everything! Please--”
Virgil immediately knew that this was one of those attacks that Scott wasn’t coming back down from with pure human intervention. Add-on the sight of his father’s big eyes signifying the man was at a loss at what to do, Virgil had no choice. He snapped loudly, remembering the comms were still on and only feeling slightly bad at the way Scott flinched in his arms, “Shit-- John! It’s Scott! Get the stuff! We’re in the upstairs bathroom!”
Muffled footsteps through a few walls in the house could be heard. Jeff’s mind was only starting to catch up when the brother Virgil called for came rushing into the bathroom (Jeff never remembered it being big enough to hold four of them) and ignoring Jeff (practically shoving him out of the way too, man, this was bad) on his way to the main problem at hand. Landing on his knees in a way that made Jeff wince, John gently grabbed one of Scott’s arms from Virgil’s hold and subsequently pulled a needle from nowhere and injected something into Scott.
The response was instantaneous.
Scott’s breathing, while still labored, got slower. He stopped struggling as well, and the way he sagged reminded Jeff of ice melting into a puddle. The two other brothers’ shoulders also sagged, relieved at the crisis averted. John stood up, knees cracking as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he froze at the sight of something in the doorway, “G-Gordon…”
Virgil snapped his head up from where he was looking at Scott. Jeff did something similar. Yup, in the doorway was the strawberry blonde, eyes wide, making him younger by about 10 years. The ex-Olympian in question inhaled, closed his eyes, and soon speed-walked his way out of the entrance to the bathroom. Dammit, neither Gordon or Alan have seen something like that and it probably spooked him more than anything. He’d understand with his own PTSD-related issues, but still, seeing the “never weak” big brother freak out in such a scary way...
John combed a hand through his hair, shaking his head. As he started walking out of the room, he whispered to himself, probably hoping no one heard him, “Dammit, this is all so fucked…”
Unfortunately, Jeff did hear, and the dirty language made the father flinch. John was always the best about making sure Grandma didn’t wash his mouth out with soap, and the fact that he so willingly didn’t care meant that everyone was at the end of their rope. Still reeling at the sight, Jeff couldn’t react to the gentle arms that picked him up off the floor and slowly led him out of the suddenly stuffy room.
With the click of the door shutting, Jeff realized what Virgil did, “W-Wait, Scott--”
“Will be okay for a few seconds,” Virgil finished for his dad, “I know it’s nearly been a decade, but the one part of you I definitely know hasn’t changed is the need to comfort us, just like we hoped.” The small grin that fell over the middle child’s face put Jeff a little bit at ease, but Virgil wasn’t completely done, “So, I’m going to let you take care of this, but I just want to make sure you’ll handle it with grace. Take this slowly, okay? Scott might be doped up, but he’s still… volatile, in a sense.”
Jeff cleared his throat, suddenly choking on the unneeded tension, “Okay, Virgil, I promise, just… what happened? That was… bad, and really bad at that too. I know Scott would never let something that severe willingly come out in front of his family.”
Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not ready for this conversation, “Listen, Dad,” he inhaled sharply, cutting himself off before sighing in a way that said fuck it, might as well get this over with, “As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living. We all have lives and stories now, and this is Scott’s story to tell.”
Jeff was getting misty-eyed again. Back when he was just a kid, Virgil couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, mainly in part due to his insomnia-related issues (Jeff has to wonder if he still has them, more problems for the future) and general lack of filter because of sleep-deprivation. Now Jeff knew there was a starch difference between a kid who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and a man who genuinely knew how to respect another man’s privacy, but…
It just hammers home how much he’s missed with his boys. Gulping, Jeff made a mental note to talk with his mom about certain things he’s missed. She’ll know a lot more than he would, “Okay, Virge. Thank you, for stepping up there.”
Virgil’s shoulders relaxed at Jeff’s words, as well as his father’s hand patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks, Dad. Just… go easy on him. I know it’s a little late for this but none of us ever properly talked about things. It was very unhealthy, deep down we all knew that, but…”
“You just couldn’t get the proper emotions out?” Jeff finished for his son. At Virgil’s soft nod, Jeff exhaled, “I’m not going to say that it was a smart decision, but we’re all here now. We can move forward with this.” Jeff squeezed where his hand laid.
Virgil blinked before curtly going, “Yeah. Goodnight, Dad. Take care of Scott.”
Virgil stepped around his father and walked to where his bedroom most definitely was not, but Jeff could deal with that in a little bit. He had another son who he was pretty sure just had a violent PTSD attack of some kind, plus, Virgil seemed to sour at something Jeff said. The ex-astronaut wasn’t sure what it was, so he didn’t chase after him out of worry that--
Wait.
We’re all here now.
Dammit, Jeff. Out of all the sentences you could’ve picked...
Alrighty, just add that to the ever-growing pile of things that need to be talked about later. No biggie. Jeff found himself sighing and rubbing the back of his neck much like Virgil did a few minutes ago. Turning around, he was met with the bathroom door once more. Shaking his head, Jeff slowly crept into the room and saw that not much was different, especially with Scott.
His heart softly cracked, but, again, he can deal with it later.
Sitting down on the ground and grimacing at the way his body ached (was gravity always this rough?), Jeff leaned against the floor cabinets about 2-3 feet away from Scott, who made himself into a nice comfortable ball in the corner next to the toilet, his palm smushed against his forehead. Jeff waited a few seconds. Then minutes. Then he realized he would have to be the one to initiate the conversation. He probably should’ve realized that right when he came back in. He opened his mouth, but his wasn’t the one that words came out of.
“It was… Zambia.”
Jeff’s heart stopped and his mouth snapped shut. He couldn’t stop the way his eyes clearly showed his panic, but hopefully, he guiltily thought, Scott was a little too doped up to not realize it, “Scotty, what do you mean?”
Scott shrugged in a way that spoke he thought what he was admitting wasn’t a big deal. Yep, clearly not with it, “Mission went bad… caught for a couple of weeks.”
Jeff was hoping his first fuck back on Earth, spoken to himself like right now or otherwise, would have been a comedic thing, but the way nausea rose in his throat said this was anything but funny.
Scott wanted to be in the Air Force. Badly. Who was a father to deny his son’s want to be part of such a noble cause? He gave him tips, took him to meet friends in high places, sometimes even sparred with him when he turned 18, but then Jeff was suddenly thousands of miles away with no hope of ever having the chance of sparring with his eldest again. Despite it, Jeff hoped Scott went on to become the best pilot the world has ever seen.
Part of this looks like he did, but at what cost?
As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living.
Aw hell, “Jesus, Scott…” Jeff couldn’t tell if it was the brashness or the lack of a nickname that made Scott flinch and he hated it. He immediately softened his tone and brought his 27-year-old child into his arms, “Shh, shh, we’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out.”
Like father like son, old habits die hard, and as easy as it was to still be able to comfort his children, Scott seemed to just as easily take it as he used to 8 years ago, “Alan doesn’t deserve this kind of hell, God, he’s barely not a kid anymore! Why--”
Jeff tightened his hold to keep his son in reality, and because he didn’t like the tone behind those words, “Hey, you didn’t either--”
Scott somehow managed to fling himself out of the hug, focus incredibly on point for someone who was doped up to his eyelids five seconds ago, “But I fucked up! I made the wrong call and then suddenly Arnold was dead and he had a wife and kids-- shit, what the hell did I do?”
Okay.
First of all: way to put him back in that headspace when that’s the exact opposite you were going for, Jeff, father of the year. Second: dammit. Just… dammit. This was a big fat hand grenade in a giant handbasket that they didn’t have time to gently get out while simultaneously not yanking the pin clean off with the grace of a drunk elephant. Jeff was no stranger to Survivor’s Guilt, but there was a whole untapped pile of metaphorical C4 within his son’s head that was ready for someone to push the goddamn button.
He wanted it to be him, desperately, because it sounded like he already failed his family enough, it was all he could do at this point, but he absolutely hated that he couldn’t do it right now. This was going to take a lot of time, which they didn’t have, plus, Jeff thought he had a pretty good understanding of this new Scott and the rest of his kids. Jeff was aware that if he didn’t help his sons find their baby as fast as possible over everything else it’ll lead to a fate nobody wanted.
A shaky sigh, “Okay, Scotty, let’s get you to bed. We’ll talk strategy in the morning.”
Scott simply nodded as his father flung Scott’s arm around his broader shoulders and picked him up. Slowly and painfully but surely, father and son meandered their way to Scott’s room. With a thump a little harder than Jeff wanted, Scott flopped down on top of his sheets and immediately started snoring. Despite everything that just happened, the father couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Well, there was another thing Jeff gracefully passed onto his son.
Jeff only took Scott’s shoes off. He would’ve loved to pull the sheets up around him too, but the father didn’t want to take any chances at waking him up. Slowly tip-toeing out of the room, Jeff gave one last glance back at his son before finally letting him be and gently shutting the door. He had three other sons he needed to console, but his tired joints told him to selfishly take a moment for himself for right now unless he wanted to collapse and give his family more to deal with.
Jeff eventually made his way to his room-- which was sadly unkempt, he noticed-- and sat down on the edge of his unfamiliar bed to think.
He’ll figure something out. If he had to crawl through images of his son being brutally and bloodily tortured then by God he would with the fury of a thousand suns.
He was back and he wasn’t going to throw away any second or even third chance he was given.
---
“I got him.”
Virgil turned his comms back on, and with it, Scott’s heart restarted for the first time in a few weeks. Taking a moment for a breather, Scott leaned against the wall while practically wheezing. They have him back, holy shit, they have him back. Scott vaguely heard Gordon cry in pure relief and joy. He saw John’s side of the comms flutter for a bit before a bright flash happened. Blinking away the white spots, Scott looked at his wrist to see a fully detailed map of the compound.
Gordon spoke what they were all thinking, “Woohoo! First Allie comes back, then Johnny-boy gets us a free ticket out of here! We’re winning this race, baby!”
A very loud moment of silence. John cleared his throat, “Actually, I was going to say glad to see you in one piece, you little shit,” a playful gasp came from Virgil’s side. It was too high pitched to be from the pianist’s mouth. Scott chuckled, but the paranoid part of his brain said John wasn’t done. His brain was right, ‘“But guys… that wasn’t me. Or EOS. We still haven’t found a way to get past the metal they made these walls out of.”
That silence was even more deafening than the last, and before Virgil could utter out his typical what the fuck, a small logo appeared at the corner of their new map. One that was all too familiar. The Chaos Crew wasn’t the only one who could brand their awful deeds.
Son of a bitch.
Virgil’s order over the radio was meant for Alan, but Scott couldn’t help but listen to it too.
“Shit, Alan, you need to run.”
Making quick work of the compound once more, Scott, while booking it even quicker than last time, opened a private line between him and Gordon, “Hey, how would you feel if I said go help Virgil while I cover Alan?”
The first response was stuttering, which Scott expected, but then it was followed up by something completely out of left field for Gordon, “... Okay, just as long as you promise to bring Alan back in one piece.”
Part of Scott wanted to console Gordon, another was questioning why Gordon was so quick to give up, another wanted to say of course, I will, idiot, but the first part that made itself verbal was easy, “You know I will, buddy.”
Scott could physically picture Gordon’s tiny, little, somber nod clear as day, “Sounds good, captain. See you on the other side.”
With a click, Scott was back on the group comm. Suddenly remembering what exactly his job was, he pulled out the map so graciously given to them by The Hood. Looking at all the dots, one was heading towards a prone one (oh if that asshole did anything to Virgil…) while another one was heading right for Scott himself. Actually, in just a few seconds, right as Scott rounded the corner he would--
“Woah, look out there, Tigger!”
Yes, you heard that correctly: not tiger, Tigger. Tigger hadn’t been used since Alan was itty bitty. It always seemed like the kid had endless energy with the way he wouldn’t stop bounding off the walls and furniture. Even as a baby, Lucy had to sit with him for a few hours while he slept in his crib to make sure he would stay there. In fact, their mother gave Alan that nickname herself. She was quite the Winnie the Pooh fan, and the rest of the family figured it would be one of the ways they could keep her legacy alive for the tiny potato.
Wrapping his arms around said flailing potato, albeit much bigger than a baby, Scott thought he would collapse then and there. Alan was here, in his arms, and yeah, the sight of his dirty and somewhat ripped up IR uniform made him mad, but Scott, for once in his life, decided to focus on the here-and-now, aka his precious, alive little brother, who finally stopped struggling at the realization that hey, the person holding you is a good guy, time to turn off fight mode.
Smushing their foreheads together as much as possible, Scott desperately fought to keep the waterworks back, a smile from ear to ear hopefully taking whatever energy his tear ducts had, “You are getting such an ass beating when we get home, little bro.”
Alan jumped back with a look of What the hell?! What did I do now?!
Scott simply rolled his eyes, “Really? “Not important”? You graduated high school, tiny dude! That’s huge! You remember Gordon’s party, right?”
Alan’s mouth gaped before he closed it with slightly puffy cheeks. Those same cheeks tinged with a small blush. Alan wasn’t exactly expecting to be smothered so soon (well, he did cry his eyes out on Virgil’s shoulder, but that was different!). Shaking it off, Alan moved his hands rhythmically and rapidly, To be fair, we weren’t sure he was going to get one for a while.
Scott faltered a little bit at the ASL. Darn, he should’ve seen Alan’s lack of talking from a mile away. Scott carefully hid his disappointment from Alan. Lord knew what the kid would take it as, “Yeah, that’s what he got for barely making it. Imagine what you’re going to get!”
Scott assumed his semi-fake charm worked, as Alan seemed to play along without any kind of suspicion, Oh yeah. Fair enough.
This kid, man.
Then, slow clapping came from a dark corner, making Scott’s heart leap out of his throat as well as push Alan behind himself. Glaring as much as he could towards the invisible evil-doer, Scott didn’t have to think twice, “Alan, take my map and find Virgil and Gordon.”
The youngest looked like he was going to object.
“Go.”
He no longer did. Good.
Listening to the field commander’s orders, Scott felt his wristband slip off his wrist and a warm body leave his vicinity. An inhale. Also good. An exhale, followed by an even darker glare, “What more do you want?”
Short and straight-to-the-point and angry, two things Scott typically wasn’t. Regardless, like a cold gust of wind, footsteps started approaching him from the shadow. Once Scott saw the outline of a body, he tensed even more. Virgil would snap at him for clenching his jaw so much.
A dark chuckle reminded him of what was important. The voice that spoke reminded him of something completely different, “Now then, brother, let’s not be rude to each other!”
Scott’s pupils shrunk at the familiar sight of Gordon stepping towards him. Except it wasn’t Gordon, because Scott knew that Gordon knew better. He also knew Gordon didn’t cheekily smile like that, even after a prank, nor did he walk that straight. He always had a funny walk after WASP, and Gordon wore that fact like a badge of honor.
Oh no, Scott definitely knew who this was, “What the hell are you playing at?”
Fake-Gordon rolled his eyes, like it wasn’t obvious, “I mean if we want to go that route, why did kid insist you being in the military was the coolest thing he’d ever heard you do? Maybe I wouldn’t have been pressured into joining a branch myself in the end.”
Scott’s nostrils flared, and by God, his pupils might have actually slitted like a snake’s, or possibly even a dragon’s, “Excuse me?”
Scott blinked, and suddenly he was met by not-Virgil, “Plus, why was our conclusion after hearing a three-year-old wanting to see snow to go to a ski resort? It had to have been those big, selfish, beady eyes, right?”
“C’mon, Scotty, we gotta give you some kind of calming exercise. There’s going to come a time when neither me or John are going to be there.”
“Hmm… does yoga work?”
A snort, “Well, that’s not too bad of an idea. Maybe the person pissing you off will stop whatever they’re doing at the sight of you spontaneously doing downward dog.”
Laughter, an unfamiliar action, “Yeah, okay, but for real, those breathing exercises I’ve seen you do look okay. Let’s start there.”
Scott was not a liar by heart. He had to admit that those exercises were doing jack shit right about now.
Another blink, another brother. Familiar ginger hair was all Scott could see, “To continue that previous point, why did Dad start International Rescue again? And what led to his demise?”
“Sounds like a piece of work. Why do you keep dealing with these people again?”
“Someone has to pay the bills, Johnny. Grandma’s too focused on making the perfect poison for us.”
A roll of eyes, “Right, because the billions we have saved wouldn’t be enough to last a couple of families a few lifetimes. Glad to see your calming exercises are working at least. How’s that going for you, by the way?”
A pause. A flicker of vision around the room. Someone cleared their throat, probably himself, “It’s probably not as bad as whatever space is throwing at you. You handling it okay up there?”
Another pause, followed by a sigh, “Well, since you asked so nicely…”
Scott wanted to deflect the truth so badly right now more than anything else. Telling him he couldn’t pilot ‘One anymore would be a much more enticing option than what he was hearing.
Suddenly, Scott was looking in a mirror, “Besides, I know more than anybody that he wasn’t wanted. A mistake. I thought we Tracys hated being imperfect?”
The Hood must have known their backstories from internet articles, and being the mastermind he was, it probably took him all of three seconds to see Alan had some hidden self-worth issues. By playing the biggest Guess Who? game of all time, The Hood was most likely able to figure out some less-than-positive ideals Alan thought about himself throughout his childhood and danced circles around his already weakened mind to string together some spineless blame to put on the kid by sheer evilness alone.
Knowing his kid brother, it worked.
Scott wasn’t thinking straight-- maybe even at all when the first punch was thrown.
Just like that, Scott blacked out and was running on terminator mode. John would be disappointed. Virgil would be horrified. Gordon might find it funny. Alan wasn’t here, and thank God for that. Scott wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. All his mind was telling him was make lots of pain hard and fast. His brain also blocked out any hit The Hood was giving him in return. Pain flared for a few seconds, then it was swept away in the puddle of rage his mind was currently being consumed in.
Soon, his out-of-it mind found its target and gripped his-- The Hood’s arm, no disguise would make him have an identity crisis, thank you very much-- nice and rough.
Scott heard the familiar snap of cartilage and felt only partially bad. If he was thinking more clearly, he would be disgusted with himself. Yes, even The Hood didn’t deserve this level of Scott’s fury. Oh, he definitely deserved to be hit by a truck, but not by Scott. It was mostly due to Scott’s sanity. If he could be this graphic and violent at all, even to the worse possible criminals, that meant he could be that way during other moments, and that was not a territory he wanted to cross into.
Welp, he was here now, and he’ll hate to admit it in the future, but the only thing that brought him out of it was a tiny gasp from a few feet away. Snapping his head up, Scott’s eyes landed squarely on a smaller-than-normal Alan, who was currently clutching his arm to his chest in an emotion Scott didn’t want to figure out at the moment. So much for going and finding Virgil and Gordon.
“Allie, help…” fake him grunted out, only making real Scott growl and tighten his hold (and probably making his case worse). Looking up from the person in his arms, Scott felt his heart split in two at the sight. There was fear and uncertainty in Alan’s blue eyes and boy did it hurt. Scott couldn’t tell if it was because even seeing a potentially-fake Scott being beaten up was bad or if it was because he’d never seen big brother be this brutal, even towards their enemies. Whatever the reason, it involved Scott being the main root of the problem.
Wait, that was The Hood’s plan. Shit… make Scott act past the point of no return in a way that was unfamiliar to Alan so the kid couldn’t be fully sure who was who, and Scott fell right into his trap, hook, line, and sinker.
Fuck.
Bloody well done, Scott, you absolute moron.
Scott faltered a little bit, “A-Alan, I--”
That falter was enough for The Hood to break an arm out of his grip and elbow him in the face. In the brief second of freedom he had, he tried dashing towards Alan, but Scott was too quick for everyone’s good and soon had the imposter back in his arms, both of them struggling in a way that made them look like they were tied into the weirdest knot in existence.
Then, an earthquake struck.
No, literally.
A big shake of the abandoned compound threw the look-a-likes about and subsequently off the platform they were on. The place was old; it didn’t take a lot of weight for that guard rail they made their way over towards while fighting to snap right off. With a yelp, the two of them gripped the edge as much as they could and held on. Crap, I know we talked with Fuse about potentially setting some stuff off, but--
Blinking, Scott saw a familiar mop of blonde hair come into view. Alan was rather panicked, clearly not sure which Scott was the real Scott. Not only that, he had little time to decide which one to save. Goodie, another reason to despise The Hood: not only has he put Alan through weeks of torment, now he’s forcing the kid to decide to either save his oldest brother and biggest hero or his personal torturer.
And Alan won’t know until he picks.
Holy hell, this was getting worse by the second. Hopefully, big brother charm can work its magic and get them the hell out of there.
“Alan, quickly, over here!”
“I can’t hold on for much longer, Alan, hurry!”
The two Scotts glared at one another in the exact same way, not making Alan’s job much easier. Another shake, another slip down the metal cliff, more screams, and Alan looked ready to tear his hair out. Scott watched as the kid looked around rapidly, probably praying for a miracle in the process. Suddenly, the kid jumped when he must have spotted something important. Within the blink of an eye, he was gone and out of their range of visions to retrieve it.
Whatever the hell he noticed better be important, because if just ended up wasting precious time then--
Another shake, probably the last one. Still, it was enough.
Both their grips gave away at the same time, screams identical (God, did he always sound that wimpy?) as they plummeted to their demises. Scott was briefly able to look up to see his brother pop his head over the cliff like a chipmunk again and grab the (albeit broken) arm of The Hood and save him. Dammit, Scott should have expected that, though, that display of anger was uncharacteristic to Alan. Probably terrified him even more than he already was. Fuck, Scott deser--
Suddenly, a rope wrapped itself around Scott’s left arm and stopped his descent. Hard. Hopefully, it was only torn stuff, they didn’t have time to deal with dislocation--
Wait.
Scott wasn’t dead if he could think about these kinds of things.
Blinking, he looked at his arm to see the familiar rope of his grappling hook around his forearm. Moving his eyesight to look past that, he saw the wide, blue eyes of his baby brother struggling to stay on top. The Hood was using his non-broken side to try and climb his way back up to safety. Huh, that’s weird. When did Alan get ahold of that? Scott must have dropped it during his scuffle with--
That’s when it hit Scott.
Alan saved them both.
Alan saved them both.
And it would be all for jack shit if Scott didn’t get his ass up there to help.
Panicking, Scott gripped the rope and started to ascend. He had two working arms and a smother complex to boot; it wasn’t long before he overtook a struggling Hood, who could only use one arm and a weakened brother (that bastard was so lucky Alan had a literal heart of gold).
Flinging his arms over the edge and pulling himself up-- and shrugging off the extra help Alan offered. Save your strength, baby bro-- Scott was in a much calmer search-and-destroy mode. He yanked his evil look-a-like up, turned him on his stomach, pinned him down, and before he could even watch Alan blink, “Sign something.”
There, now he watched Alan blink.
Scott pulled out one of his best ‘big brother’ smiles ever, “Tell me something in ASL. I don’t think The Hood learned that kind of etiquette.”
The body beneath him growled, making Alan jump and Scott tighten not only his hold but his glare. Further prove big brother’s point, why don’t cha? He lost the angry look immediately to grin at Alan once more, who seemed to be slowly getting the picture. With a gulp, the blonde slowly strung together a sentence that Scott had to laugh at, just a little bit.
Damn, could you teach me to fight like that, Scooter?
Nodding his head, Scott had to concede, “Sure. Consider it a graduation present.”
Alan blinked again, and the immense relief that washed over the boy’s shoulders would be enough to banish nightmares for at least a couple of days. Suddenly, The Hood’s disguise blinked out of existence, making both brothers jump that time. Scott didn’t falter in his grip, however. This man was going down right here and now, Scott thought darkly, staring at the prone body beneath his.
Scott saw Alan continue to sign out of the corner of his eye, You know you look like shit, right?
Scott chuckled. Alan was always able to put a smile on his face no matter the circumstances, “Yeah, well, kindred spirits, little bro.”
Scott was probably as pale as Alan was with such lack of sleep and food. Running on what was essentially a prolonged PTSD attack wasn’t healthy in the slightest, and no doubt whatever kind of bruises and scratches The Hood gave him didn’t help, however, seeing hope fill those deep-blue eyes when Alan learned he was truly being saved drowned everything out, including the way those freckles were getting lost in those eye bags.
Yeah, their entire family probably looked like shit, and the recovery process was going to be even shittier, but they were going to suffer through it together as a family would.
That made it all worth it.
Shuffling himself so one arm was free while the other kept The Hood pinned, Scott held it out towards Alan. The flinch the youngest made tore a hole in Scott’s heart that was only slightly patched when Alan leaned into the warmth and safety of his biggest bro. Long recovery process, remember? Regardless, Alan still took to the hug like a dehydrated zebra did a pond, and that was good enough for Scott.
The Hood groaned underneath them.
Yep, good enough.
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krlworld · 5 years ago
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donghyuck loved her more than he ever loved anyone else before. she made him feel at ease, how her beautiful eyes would look at him and asure him everything was alright. he met her through his friends, she was renjuns cousin. he didnt thought of her that way immediately but he couldnt deny she was gorgeous. eventually one night when the whole group of teenagers decided to cancel their movie night without warning the two of them he got to know her better. she told him about her childhood, her family, where she grew up, she had two siblings, one older brother and one younger sister and the way she complained about doing house chores because her sister was too lazy to help and how she loved her dog to death moved donghyucks heart. that night in december when they stayed home on the couch telling each other what others dont know, feelings were found.
   love (lŭv) n. 1. A strong feeling of affection and concern toward another              person, as that arising from kinship or close friendship.
 eventually donghyuck started feeling awkward about her, not in a bad way actually, but his heart would start to beat faster whenever she was around, when she gave him compliments his cheeks would go red. he loved holding her hand and when she fell asleep on his chest. he loved her laugh even though she said she sounded horrendous. he loved how funny she was, how she didnt mind a joke and fought him back. he loved her wild side, when she made flirty jokes that made him flustered and then she would just laugh and knocked it off.  in conclusion he loved everything about her, he loved her.
                                             am i in love?
 It took him some time to notice the strong feelings he had for her but hey, he got there. now it wasnt the beating of his heart that was making him wonder, it was the fact that he had so many feelings for her but he didnt know how she felt. he grew curious, asking himself “does she ever think about me?” “does she miss me like i miss her?” “how would her lips feel against mine…” at that point it was obvious for everyone, except you, how donghyuck felt, he wondered how you could be so dense.
 "falling in love" means to feel a strong sense of attraction towards another person.
 everything was so new to him, he never actually liked anyone except for a cute little girl he once met in kindergarden but apart from that he never felt that strong feeling of almost losing his breath he got whenever he was with you. he started to fear being around you, everything you did made him fall for you even deeper. his friends had told him to confess, “what could go wrong?” they said, but he knows damn well what could go wrong. he couldnt bare thinking about her not wanting to see him anymore because he made her uncomfortable, not having her around, just thinking about it made him feel sick in the stomach, almost feeling like throwing up. he decided to keep you close even if that hurted him.
  unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved.
 one night she called him and asked if he wanted to spend the night. in other scenarios people would think this was weird, but in reality they were more close than they appeared out to be, it wasnt unusual for donghyuck to stay at her place when some random guy who turned out to be a bad blind date made her feel like shit, him having to hold her, wipe her tears and tell her the usual “maybe what you really need is closer than you think…” leading her to think that “something” meant jaemin or chenle, he couldnt help but smack his forehead because of how stupid the situation was… but there was also the case where she would just feel like being with her favorite person, playing video games, eating some pizza and telling each other everything that happened that week, she looked at him with such loving eyes making him wonder if she could ever feel something for him, she made him have some hope but he didnt want to make himself feel better because thats exactly what he wanted to hear.
 that night he spent at her house it was a little different, her parents were out of town with her sister and her brother had left for college, it was just the two of them. in the beginning it was all very normal, the usual stuff, movies, food and laughing about whatever came to mind but as the night went on the atmosphere felt… heavy. he couldnt tell what was making him feel so nervous or maybe he did, maybe he didnt want to accept the fact that she was closer than usual, that her hands were on his thighs and how she looked at him with rosy cheeks.
 she couldnt stop thinking about him, her precious best friend. how she wanted to be more than that, wondering if he wanted to touch her as much as she did, if he ever though about her, if he wanted to make her happy like she wanted to make him feel. she was very good at hiding her feelings because no one had a clue about her affection for the boy, not even jeno who was able to read every single one of his friends.
 you remembered… it was on march, movie night at marks house, you felt closer than ever to donghyuck you couldnt help but cuddle onto him the whole night, thinking about how he made your heart go wild when he was just wearing a simple grey shirt and skinny jeans, literally anyone could say he looked boring and he did, but to you he looked breathtaking. he had black hair at that time, you thought that was the best hair color he ever had it fitted him so well, you wanted to stare at him forever.
that night you left marks house feeling dizzy, you couldnt even describe how you felt, did you like donghyuck? taking your keys out trying to open your front door you stopped yourself when you heard someones heavy breathing. you turned around just to find donghyuck behind you holding your coat.
“hyuck? what are you doing here? i thought you said you were sleeping at marks today?” you asked surprised to see him in front of you, you kind of had an idea of why he was there but you also didnt want to make yourself believe he left marks house walking just to give you a damn coat.
“you left your coat… and i thought you would be cold, but i didnt manage to catch you as you can tell” he said finally catching his breath and fixing his shirt. he then handed the coat to you.
“why would you that? mark lives far from here hyuck, something could have happened to you” you said out of concern, because actually mark did live far away from you, almost a 30 minute walk to be clear.
“maybe i just wanted to see you a little bit longer…” he couldnt help but blush, he really did mean what he said but he felt so embarrassed like he was a child trying to tell his mom he did what he wasnt supposed to.
you wanted to tell him to stay, to make you hot chocolate like he usually does, to play with your hair like he does when feel sleepy, the words didnt come out, but actions did. you grabbed your coat quietly thanking him and giving a quick kiss on the cheek you couldnt tell what was funnier, the way you wanted to throw yourself out of the window or hyuck getting completely flustered and leaving like he saw a ghost.
                                                 i think i love you.
 you were convinced donghyuck wouldnt like you back so you decided to try something to forget him, and that was seeing other guys, simple right? but the plan didnt go so well, for some kind of reason, only assholes seemed to be attracted you and that would end up with donghyuck holding you while you just cried. and maybe he thought it was because of your bad dating experiences but it was actually because the boy you wanted to forget so bad was the one who never left you.
 so eventually you decided to get some courage and make the first move, and tonight seemed like a nice moment to do so.
 leaving your thoughts for a second you analyze the situation, you are resting your head against his chest, your hands on his thighs while his hand is rubbing your back up and down making you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. you look up at him admiring his features, he is so beautiful, his now brownish hair, his dark skin that you loved so much everything about him was so mesmerizing. he then looked into your eyes and you couldnt help but blush a little, you had to tell him, still looking at each other you cleared your throat.
“hey hyuck”
“hm”
“have you… have you ever thought about us?” you felt like you were going to explode, your face burning hot, trembling as each word leaves your mouth.
“y-you, what do you mean?” he swallowed hard and his eyes were all over the place except for you.
“you know as like, a thing” playing with your fingers, you started to get nervous, feeling like he was just about to reject you and thinking this was a bad idea.
“yes” he simply replied. you looked up to him and couldnt hide the bright smile on your face, finally taking his hand in yours and getting even closer. “wow, whats wrong, are you okay?” he said as he looked at you and then your hand you never noticed how much you were shaking but you just couldnt believe it.
“i-im sorry.. i just, i,“ you sighed “i just really, really like you. like a lot” and then everything went silent, you were so scared, still shaking you looked up to find his face inches away from yours. 
“i adore you, you know that right?”
and then he just kissed you, after so many nights thinking about this moment it was finally happening. he grabbed your cheek with one hand while the other held your waist because he knew how much you loved that. your hands went to his hair just touching, finally being able to feel him. you couldnt help but feel like crying you loved him so much it was indescribable. then he started kissing your cheeks, your jaw, your neck and after that you werent even aware of your surrondings, drowning in his scent and his touch. it wasnt until he slightly squeezed your waist that you jumped a little and looked at him.
“so, does this finally make you mine” he whispered, now holding you even closer than before, if that was possible.
“maybe, who knows” you laughed a little smiling against his lips, you could say you were the happiest person alive.
                                          he was finally yours.
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captain-aralias · 5 years ago
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Man I don't remember how to use tumblr properly. I'm supposed to send you an ask instead of commenting on the anime asks post? 11 and 14?
yes! this is good. thank you @praedestinatio (i didn’t make tumblr - i’m sorry. this is what it is. and now i have to scroll back through my many reblogs to find where i re-blogged this. what a system.)
11. anime you didn’t expect to like but did
all of them! well - i guess now i’m used to it. but i used to be very against subtitles, and i still sort of am (even though i love so much stuff that is subtitled) because i read faster than characters talk - and it means that i have no ideally really how people sound. the way people sound and talk is pretty key to how i experience texts, so this still makes me sad (IF ONLY THERE WERENT SO MANY AMAZING STORIES IN ANIME). 
i guess i really didn’t expect i would like haikyu!! as much as i did. it’s about sports - i hate sports. i only started watching it because i loved YOI (it’s abotu people being gay! of course i love that) and my friend who’d recced YOI told me she liked haikyu. 
in fact, though, i think it was a gamechanger for me, because it allowed me to understand what it is that i like about so much anime so much - and it’s that it’s long, and about people working together in a team - forming unlikely friendships, trying really hard and really wanting to win. and it made me realise that actually sports anime are totally my jam, rather than sports which is just about the sport - whereas sports anime is about the people and how they work together. 
and that also unlocked for me why i didn’t really like spirited away - because on the surface it’s for me, because it’s fantasy and love, but it’s also a quick movie that is about its aesthetics and ethereal weirdness and beautiful art. and that isn’t really my deal :/
but haikyu!! really is. i am so sad it’s on pause. i want them to win.
14. saddest anime you have ever watched
erin told me grave of the fireflies would be super sad and about ww2, so we haven’t watched it. but i did make her watch some other movie that also turned out to be about dying in ww2... i dont remember what it was even called now, so that can’t have been worth it. but it was very sad. don’t watch that. 
in general, i dont like things that are just sad-sad. like i don’t like horror movies - why would you want to be sad or scared? i wouldn’t. 
i do like shows that have sad things happen in them, and then happy things. there is a very well handled sad thing that happens in series 4 of my hero academia. well - two sad things, i guess. very very sad. and yet the show still respectfully manages to get us through them to a happy ending. 
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wintersxsoul · 6 years ago
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The Night We Danced
Summary: Two dorks in love that have to wait to get drunk to confess their feelings.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: Maybe some language, drunk people and I think mentions of sex?? 
A/N: This is my entry for my dearest @writingsoftheloser 1k historical writing challenge! I got the Victorian Era, so I came up with this longass nonsense. I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback and reblogs are free and make me really happy and motivated <3
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  Bucky Barnes was a dancer.
He sometimes had flashes of his old life in the late 30’s and 40’s, long summer nights dancing with beautiful dames, little Stevie by his side laughing and stepping in the ladies’ shoes. Everything was much more simpler, happier, but war happened and the dances turned into battles, the warm hands that he was used to hold became rifles and glocks. The jazzy tunes turned into gunfire, dates turned into risky missions and the thought of a long happy life turned into dust when he fell off that train.
Bucky Barnes stopped being a dancer to be a soldier, a spy, a deadly assassin.
They had taken all he was away, all his memories, his hopes and dreams. Everything was wiped but not his motor skills or knowledge. They turned him into the most efficient soldier, cold and calculating, his only motive in life was completing his missions. He had killed mercilessly, not questioning even once who was in front of the gun, he just knew he had to pull the trigger.
Everything changed the moment Steve Rogers, his best friend since childhood, found him 70 years after being used and tortured. Steve saved him from the claws of Hydra and gave him the opportunity to gain back his own self, to finally give his life meaning again.
His life changed drastically when he joined the Avengers, he could use his unrequired skills to help people, to save lives. He had his closest friends, Steve of course, Sam, Nat and then he met you. Once he was able to recover almost all his memories, he had a long heartfelt conversation with Natasha since she had suffered in similar ways. The brainwashing, the body killing training, the horrors of the Cold War and the cruelty of the Red Room.
You and Nat were inseparable, both becoming SHIELD agents the same year. You were a freelance hitwoman, both of your missions were to kill the same target. But before you could kill each other, SHIELD stepped in and rescued both of you, seeing your potential and the ability to do the missions other agents weren’t able to. When Bucky first came to the compound, you were away because your last mission went badly and it almost killed you, so Fury and Steve decided it was better for you to lay low for a while. Months went by and Bucky’s curiosity only grew, he really wanted to meet you, since everyone talked about you like you were an angel. When the time came to finally meet you, everything he ever heard about you was not nearly accurate to him. You were as much of a mystery as Nat, but unlike her, you opened up to him fastly, trusting him blindly. You both held each other on your worst nights and were also there for the other when you needed a good laugh.
You could have never imagined that the infamous Winter Soldier could be such an absolute dork with such a pure heart and soul. At first he was a bit sulky and moody, he was like a ghost around the compound, but months of therapy and help from his friends turned him into the man he was today, the man you loved deeply, even though you lied to yourself trying to make it seem like a platonic feeling. For years you remained as best friends, until the masquerade ball Tony organized for Natasha’s birthday.
“So, what are your plans for the party?” You asked Bucky nonchalantly while you looked for costume designers online. He looked up from his book and shrugged, he really didn’t know what you meant but he knew you would elaborate. You closed your laptop and placed it on your nightstand, all your attention on your friend now. You laid across the bed, resting your head on his lap. You were staring at the ceiling so you totally missed Bucky’s adoring gaze.
“Well, apart from getting hammered with Thor’s Asgardian alcohol, I don’t really know.” You rolled your eyes internally at his comment. You laid on your stomach so you could face him, your chin resting on your hands on top of his chest.
“Obviously you are doing that, but it’s not what I meant.” Bucky chuckled and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure about asking him to be your partner, maybe he was planning on going with someone else, maybe he wanted to go on his own. You cleared your throat while reaching out to fiddle with the laces of his hoodie nervously.
“Are you going with someone?” He frowned, realizing that you didn’t assume (like he did) that you were going together. Maybe you were planning to go with a date? He knew it had been more than a year since you had dated someone so maybe you wanted to use the party as an excuse to do so?
“What you mean with someone? I d-”
“You should ask Sarah from Forensics, I’ve heard she has a huge crush on you. She’s sooo soft and pretty. I have her number if you wa-”
“Okay, Y/n stop right there. I am not going with Sarah or with anyone else but you.” His eyes widened at his own boldness but he quickly found a logical explanation.
“I mean, we always go together to this kind of shitty parties we both dread. But if you are going with someone else is fine.”
“Yeah, yeah I just thought that maybe you wanted to go with an actual date and not your best friend.” He tousled your hair and you whined jokingly. He mumbled “dork” and you stuck your tongue out.
“My best friend is pretty cool and when she gets drunk the party starts, so I am not missing that for Sarah from Forensics.”
“Oh god James, and I am the dork? You absolute dumbass.” You shook your head in amusement and sat on the bed, putting your disheveled hair in a low ponytail. You slapped him lightly on the right shoulder and got down of the bed, gathering your stuff.
“I can’t stand to see that beautiful stupid face right now, I have to look for a fucking dress. You better wear something in dark red cause, you know it-”
“it’s my color” he mocked you using a high pitched tone of voice and laughed at the face of disgust you jokingly pulled off.
“Fuck you.”
“Why don’t you f-” His sentence was cut off by the bang of his door closing but you already knew what he said. You rolled your eyes and made your way to Nat’s room since you needed to organize shopping days and all that stuff.
-
Bucky Barnes was a dancer and fortunately he still had some moves, but waltzing was out of his league. He knew what a masquerade was of course, so the fact that he had to learn how to dance a completely different style was...frightening to say the least. He talked about it with Steve so they both were headed now to a masterclass while their dates were out shopping. Nat had asked Steve as her date because she wanted to go with his best friend. Their friendship was the most platonic you’ve ever seen and watching them flirt and banter was the highlight of your days. Nat was a fantastic dancer of course, she used to be a fucking ballerina, so she offered to teach you some moves. She was the only one who actually knew your feelings towards Bucky because you had confessed them one night you had drank your weight in vodka and when you saw Bucky’s text asking you to please be careful, you laughed and told her. You didn’t remember that conversation and when Natasha tried to ask you, she realized she shouldn’t bring up the topic until you were ready to believe it yourself.
“Ooof Nat, should I really buy this expensive dress?” You asked her while checking yourself out in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, made of a dark red taffeta or a similar material, short sleeved and a beautiful v-neck, not very revealing but enough to make your babies pop. The bodice hugged your curves and the skirt was puffy.
“Listen, Stark is paying for everything, that includes our dresses. So yes, you are going to buy it.” She stood up and lead you back to the changing room so she could purchase both of your dresses.
Steve sighed heavily at Bucky’s complaints. They’d been dancing for four hours straight and they weren’t getting any better, or at least that’s what they thought. Bucky really couldn’t believe he had been dragged into this mess just because he loved getting drunk with you under any circumstances.
“Come on Buck, don’t worry. You two will probably be too drunk to even stand, why bother so much in learning this shit?” Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged his friend on the shoulder.
“Listen pal, I wanna do this right. You know how much I love dancing so this is just an excuse to learn something new.” He could almost believe his own lie, but Steve knew better. He knew Bucky better than himself, so he obviously knew the unspoken thing that was going on between two of his best friends.
“Okay buddy, whatever you say. I just hope Y/n appreciates all this instead of laughing at you like Sam and Nat are probably going to do.” He muttered something to himself and left the room without saying a word.
“Fucking idiots, I hope they fuck soon.” Steve said to himself before turning around and smiling at the dance teacher.
“Let’s do this Janet, I have a very dangerous woman to impress tonight.”
-
“I really, really, really, really regret the day I gave you access to come into my room whenever you want to.” You told Bucky, who was laying on your bed on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows. You slumped next to him and buried your face in the pillows as well. You really thought you looked like idiots but you couldn’t care less.
“Can we stay here? We can watch one of those victorian romantic movies you love and get wasted on our own.”
“You know I would love to, but Nat would kill us. Besides, you hate those movies.”
“I was just trying to persuade you Barnes, you don’t need to be so rude.” You stood up and opened your first drawer, pulling out the two masks you had bought throwing Bucky’s to his head and he responded with a fake “ouch”. He sat on the bed and looked at you amused, the small mask in his hands.
“And you have the nerve to call me rude. I already have my mask and I won’t show it to you until tonight.”
“Wow, sorry for thinking about you and your shitty memory, old man.”
“You know what Y/n? I’ll see you tonight before I throw myself out of that balcony.” You giggled at his fake tantrum. You really loved your friendship with Bucky, because even though you were always joking around each other, you had your backs. He was always there and so were you.
“You want me to walk you to your room?” He frowned at you but his eyes widened when he realized what you were about to say, but you said it before he could cut you off. “In case you don’t remember where your room is at.”
“That was one time Y/n, please let it go.”
“Never.” And with that said, he left. You giggled remembering the first night you two got drunk together. It was the first time Bucky had tried Thor’s alcohol so he was excited to finally get drunk after all those decades. He drank by himself almost three flasks and encouraged you to drink a bottle of vodka on your own, so at 6 am, you were stumbling through your room floor because Bucky had forgotten where his own room was, so he wanted to sleep at yours.
You took a last look at yourself in your mirror and placed the mask in its place. It was a shame that Bucky had decided not to wear the mask you’d bought for him, but his taste was pretty great so you knew it was going to be amazing.
When you reached the party the place was already full of people. Everyone was dancing to the slow melodies or drinking at the bar. You noticed that Tony had removed all the furniture from the room so it looked like a grand dance hall, the usual modern lamps he owned were replaced by huge golden crystal chandeliers, the windows were covered by thick curtains that looked like the ones European palaces had. The cream and golden tones of all the decoration gave a really regal look to the party, the soft glow of the candles in the bar and the sound of champagne glasses relaxed your senses.
You fixed your long silk gloves and sighed, moving through the crowd towards the bar, where Nat stood chatting with who you assumed it was Steve, Sam was behind the counter pouring alcohol to his half empty glass.
“You mind filling this lady’s glass?” Sam smirked and you winked at him. He raised his eyebrow under his cream and red mask and he took out a tall glass.
“What would the lady like to drink?” He rested both of his palms in the counter, looking at you with an amused look in his eyes.
“Vodka on the rocks, s'il vous plait.” You heard Nat choke on her drink and Steve turned to look at you while Sam just poured your drink, a smile playing on his lips.
“Aren’t we starting a bit early, Y/n? Your date is not even here.” You shrugged at Sam’s comment and took the glass when he handed it.
“Since you all seemed so surprised with my drinking choices, I’m going. I need an unjudging friend right now.” You waved your hand gracefully and moved towards the centre, trying to find Bucky. After five minutes and an empty glass, you saw his bulking figure talking to some woman. You needed a moment to gather your thoughts because he looked absolutely sinful with the outfit he was wearing. The black pants marked all his muscles, specially his thighs, those fucking thighs that drove you insane and his ass...you shook your head trying to stop your mind. You needed another drink.
“Wow look who’s back and empty handed!” Steve said to the small group. You nudged him in the ribs and asked Sam for another glass of alcohol.
“Why are you this flustered Y/n?” Nat asked you when she noticed your flushed cheeks. You fixed your mask trying to hide your nervousness and failing miserably.
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your three friends shared a knowing look and you rolled your eyes, finishing your drink in two sips and encouraged by the burning liquid, you went to where Bucky was. You could now see his whole outfit perfectly and your heart swelled. He was wearing a black ruffled shirt with a black and dark red embroidered vest and a black tail coat. His face was covered by a simple half Venetian mask, decorated with the same colors as the outfit’s. He was chatting with some agent you couldn’t recognize and you felt a pang of jealousy at how he was looking at her, smiling and touching her. At that moment you realized the alcohol was kicking in and that’s why you were having those stupid thoughts. You approached your friend and placed your gloved hand to his shoulder, indicating him that you were besides him and waiting for him to pay attention to you. You catched a part of the conversation and they were talking about one of the last missions the undercover agents did, so after a court nod from Bucky and a brief goodbye from her, his eyes were on you.
“Well, look at you!” He smiled at you warmly and you felt something flip inside you. “How did you recognize me?”
“Oh boy, you can mask that face all you want but you can’t mask those thighs.” You smirked and he started laughing at your comment, making you feel proud of your wittiness.
“How drunk are you already?” You brought your hand up between your bodies and pressed your thumb and index together whispering “a little” so only he could hear it.
“Lucky for you, I drank almost a flask, so that makes us dangerous already. Wanna dance?” He extended his hand and you took it accepting his invitation. You suddenly felt really nervous since it was the first time you were going to slow dance with him but unbeknown to you, Bucky Barnes felt sick due to his nerves. He wanted this to work, he wanted to show you and the world that he was still capable of being a soft person, not this cold calculative soldier with a dark past.
The feeling of his hand on your waist and your other hands intertwined was intoxicating you, your bodies pressed together, the only thing between you two were your clothes. You spinned around the room for what felt like eternity, time for you had stopped and everyone had disappeared.
You burst the small bubble you were both in saying you needed a drink, Bucky stopped swaying you and with your hands still intertwined, went to the empty bar.
“I’ve always loved the Victorian Era, you know?” He said while giving you a glass full of vodka, and took a sip of his flask. “The clothes, the courting, the chivalry and all that fuss.” He smiled sadly at you thinking that you wouldn’t notice.
“If you could, would you go back in time and stay?”
He took another sip, now longer, and shook his head. “Of course not, you wouldn’t be there.” He blurted out without thinking and you just giggled at the comment.
“Oh Barnes, don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure you would make good friends there as well.” You gave him a sincere smile and he shook his head again, taking another sip of the flask, this time a long one. You looked down at your glass and twirled the straw, looking at how the ice cubes collided with each other.
“I love you.” You jerked your head up and maybe it was the alcohol clouding your mind or the denial of your own feelings, but you didn’t notice his intense gaze, filled with love and adoration.
“And I love you too, you idiot. As my best friend, you should know that already.” You placed your lips around the straw and finished the whole drink, Bucky still looking at you shocked that you rejected his feelings without you noticing.
“No, Y/n, what I mean is that I’m-”
“You are what, Barnes?” Nat cut Bucky off and you threw yourself into her arms, kissing her face and wishing her a happy birthday. “I missed you, Nat. Where were you?” You started talking to her totally ignoring your friend, who got that as his cue to leave the party. He would never blame you for not feeling the same or not even noticing his feelings, that was totally on him, but he didn’t feel well enough to stay in the party. He knew you wanted him there, to get drunk together and then both of you ending up throwing up in the sink and the toilet, but tonight he needed to breathe, he needed to get out of the crowd.
“Hey, where is going Bucky?” Asked Steve while he approached Nat and you. You frowned and looked at the entrance, catching a glimpse of Bucky’s broad shoulders and hair leaving the party. “I’ll be back in a sec.” You said and stumbled down the bar stool, heading towards the entrance half running.
“We both know they are not coming back, right?” Steve said to Nat, a strong nod and a sigh answered his comment.
You ran as fast as your drunken state let you but before you could notice you slipped with the dress and fell.
“FUCK” You screamed to the empty hall and took off your heels and gloves, standing up trying not to fall again on your ass. Bucky was nowhere to be seen so you headed to his room, your head spinning due to the alcohol.
“What are you doing here?” Bucky startled you, making you lose balance but he caught you before you could fall again.
“I was just checking that you got to your room safely, since you know, you get lost and all that.” You laughed at his fake hurt expression and straightened your clothes. You noticed that he had taken off his mask and that you were still wearing yours. “Why did you leave?”
“I’m feeling a bit sick, I think I drank too mu-”
“James, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong I’ll torture you until you do. The drinking excuse is the worst you could’ve used with me.”
Bucky sighed defeated, he knew he had to get it off his chest, after three years carrying this on his own, he needed to let the words out, he needed you to know. He reached for the laces of your mask and took it off, placing a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.
“I love you, Y/n.” You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance just to mess up with him.
“Baby, we already established that I lov-”
“Y/n, you are not listening. I am in love with you. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime and your drunk buddy.”
You stared at him wide eyed, not knowing what to answer or to do. He caressed your cheek with his thumb and you gasped at the feeling, making Bucky think that you were rejecting the act. You stopped him from moving his hand and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly.
“Either you kiss me or I faint, so make a m-” And just like that, his lips crashed against yours with a passion and hunger you’ve never felt in your entire life. He pressed you against the door, the stupid huge dress stopping you from feeling anything. Your brain finally woke up and you realized what was going on. Bucky Barnes loved you, he was in love with you. And you were in love with him. You pulled away and stopped him, making him step backwards scared that he did something you didn’t want to.
“You love me?” You really asked him, thinking that maybe your brain was betraying you. He nodded and looked away, not wanting to see the rejection in your eyes.
“Hey coward, look at me.” You held his chin and forced him to look at you. “I love you too, always have. I was just too damn scared to admit it to even myself.” He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower, pouring every ounce of love he had for you in the kiss.
“What now?” He asked you once he pulled away to breathe. He had his hand on the back of your neck, caressing your skin with his thumb.
“As much as I’d love you to fuck me against every surface on that room, I am drunk and tired and I need to process everything.” He nodded and waited for you to come up with what you wanted to do next. “So you are going to take this dress off me carefully cause I can’t do it on my own and it’s expensive as fuck, you are going to give me one for your shirts and we are sleeping, together.” He nodded again and smiled, leaning in again to give your lips a small peck.
“Consider it done, asshole.”
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violasmirabiles · 5 years ago
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got tagged by @blackboard-monitor and @mikaroyhkeys, thanks xx
Do you make your bed? try to do it every day and mostly succeed due to my room being so cramped i dont wanna keep the bedspread hogging any more space than necessary. its also made easier by the fact that i sleep under two (2) duvets AND the bedspread because Pressure Good Weight Good
What’s your favorite number? 12
Can you parallel park? i cant fuccin drive my dudes
A job you had which would surprise people? havent had multiple jobs because am a failure in this capitalist hellscape and been busy trying to idk not end it HOWEVER although it may not be surprising that the job i had was writing concert reviews for the largest regional newspaper i still find it hilarious that i basically got it by chance on twitter due to being a massive prog fan on main (and me being already mutuals with my boss)
Do you think aliens are real? i think id be stupid to think they werent
Can you drive a manual car? i! cant! fuccin! drive!!!!!!!! my dudes!!
What’s your guilty pleasure? i dont really believe in guilty pleasures HOWEVER i do feel guilty about everything including everything i enjoy doing and also i. cant honestly say that the first thing i tell to a (finnish) stranger is hey you know that classic war novel of ours, the one we all lie about having read or seen one of the films and all the nazis cum to for all the wrong reasons? well ive written like 90000 words worth of fan fiction about it, a lot of it explicit and most of it very gay, and More Is Coming
Tattoos? i currently have one (the text on my left arm) and i really want another one but on the right arm cos it feels empty and naked now lol. itll be a wigwam lyric (”chasing the blackbirds away” from marvelry skimmer) and like the tattoo i have on my left arm its gonna be done in times new roman all caps. get a theme going on there. i also want “lady grinning soul” tattooed somewhere but still not sure where, also maybe “olet elossa” on one arm or the other even though it might be lame but its. one of those things i gotta remember ya know
Favorite color? i hate this fuckin question so much i can never choose
Things people do that drive you crazy? people not making a fuckin effort to find out about things. people believing some are worthier than others and that people who are in bad situations are somehow responsible for what happened to them and therefore unworthy of help or compassion. 
Any phobias? high spaces, also sudden loud noises (think a balloon popping or a smoke detector going off)
Favorite childhood sport? baseball and skiing like the pure finnish gorl i am
Do you talk to yourself? all the fucking time out loud and in my head and my flatmates are gonna love that when they get back here cos ive gotten used to being here by myself. the parents love this as well, not
What movies do you adore? calamari union! also saw as in the first one, thats the one i Truly love and the rest of the franchise is just, like, kinda there 
Do you like doing puzzles? yeah
Favorite kind of music? bluesy prog? psychedelic?? folk rock?? folksy prog????? fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Penis Music
Tea or coffee? coffee 
What’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? fuckin rockstar lol some kind of performing artist
not tagging anyone cos lazey
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brelione · 4 years ago
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Trying To Help (The Best Boys)
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Series Masterlist
Warnings:Mentions of death, not super sad kind of just conflicting I think (figured id give you guys an emotional break), mentions of blood.Not proof read because im a lazy bitch.
“Hey pretty boy.”You whispered, trying not to cry.Topper frowned, not understanding where he was or why everything felt so weird. “Im sorry I drove off a bridge.”He replied, his voice sounding funny as if he had been talking with food in his mouth.
 “Dont be bubs, you didnt mean to….”You replied, hoping your voice wasnt hurting his head.His eyes closed again, too lazy to keep them open. “Rafe should be here soon.”You bit the inside of your cheek anxiously.
His nose scrunched up, a look of disapproval on his face. “Why does everything always gotta be about Rafe?”He asked, his eyes opening wide when he realised there was a cast on his arm.He moved the fingers on his right hand, making sure that one wasnt broken too.Needles and IVs had been stabbed into his arm and hand, an air tube across his face and at his nostrils.
He noticed your hand on the bed, reaching for it with his good hand.You let him hold it, glad he wasnt mad at you.The room was quiet and dark but not so much that it was awkward, the two of you just trying to keep eachother calm. “Hey,guys.”The door opened to reveal Rafe.
He was wearing a backwards hat, a light blue polo shirt and black pants.He looked just as much of a mess as you, a guilty expression on his face.His eyes flicked over to you and Toppers hands as he sat in the chair next to you.
 “Is that Rafe?”Topper asked, too tired to open his eyes again. “Yeah, dude.You really fucked up this time.”Rafe smiled but his face quickly fell into a frown when you didnt do the same.You began to drag your fingertips along Toppers arm, feeling a bit better when he grinned at the feeling.
“So how was the movie?”He asked, feeling his eyes water up. “Um...yeah, we didnt end up finishing it.Guess it wasnt the same without you there.”You muttered, your fingers trailing back down to his palm.
He hummed, taking in a deep breath when he realised you could hear his heartbeat increasing from the monitor. “I knew you wouldnt finish it.Between you and Kelce screaming and….and Rafe being an impatient slut.”Topper smiled, opening his eyes ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of Rafe’s reaction.
 “Hmm...you’re lucky your arms already broken, pussy.”Rafe smiled, becoming less tense when you rolled your eyes. “DOnt be fucking rude.”You whispered with a small smile. “You know what...its the quoting the Kardashians daily for me.”Topper bit his lip as he waited for you to respond. “Its...the breaking my flower pot for me.”You replied, tapping your fingers against his palm.You grinned,recalling the memory.
You and Kelce had spent the morning together after a sleepover.You had scrolled through your pinterest feed as usual, coming across a ton of diy plant pots and decided to just go for it.You told Kelce about your idea as you two sat down for breakfast, both of you half asleep as you drank coffee. “Yeah, okay.”he agreed, putting on his shoes once he had finished his eggs.
 “So how many pots should we get?”He asked as you buckled your seatbelt.You shrugged, not really having a proper answer as he began to drive to Walmart, cursing when he couldnt find a parking spot.Once he did he waited for you to go back to your pinterest boards and figure out exactly what type of paint you would need for the project.
It was far too early for the store to be busy, holding on to Kelce’s back as he grabbed a cart. “What isle?”He asked, stopping to grab a bag of cheetos. “Uhhh….I dont know.Hold on.”You pulled out your phone, holding onto him with one arm and resting the phone on top of his head.
 “Thirteen.”You replied, squealing and holding on for dear life as he began running through the store, coming to a halt when he reached the isle.You hopped off of his back, grabbing some small pots and some medium pots and putting them into the cart carefully. 
“Can I paint spongebob on mine?”He asked, his eyes glancing through the paint colors on the hunt for a bright yellow. “I dont care, paint whatever you want.”You replied, grabbing the primary colors and tossing them into the cart.Kelce being Kelce had freaked when he saw the variety of stickers, buying at least thirty dollars worth of puppy stickers, marvel stickers, car stickers and shiny spikes. 
“No weeds are gonna mess with this plant when im done with it.”He said proudly as he grabbed every single strip of spike stickers.You had rolled your eyes, picking out some pearl like stickers and tossing them in the cart.Kelce smiled, getting an idea.
He moved all of the items to the opposite side of the cart to leave an empty space, picking you up quickly and putting you inside. “Kelce-seriously?”You sighed, holding on to the side as he pushed the cart quickly, swerving it against the tile on his way to the plant isle. 
“Yep, its easier this way.”He replied, stopping the cart once you guys got to the other side of the store. “Ooh….can we grow sunflowers?”He asked, tossing the bag of seeds into the cart before you could answer. “Get lavender too.”You replied, taking out your phone to play subway surfers.
Kelce huffed, arms wrapping around your shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of your head as he watched you play. “Whats your high score?”He asked, playing with the baby hairs that had fallen out of your braids. 
“I dunno, higher than yours.”You grinned, hearing him gasp. “Fucking rude.”He muttered, flicking your temple. “Fuck you.”You replied, avoiding a train. “Fuck you!”He exclaimed driving the cart to check out.He grabbed a few packs of gum as well, scanning the items at the self checkout.
You two then spent the whole afternoon painting pots and covering them in an obnoxious amount of stickers.The small one that Kelce had done all by himself was covered with spike stickers that kept falling off. “It wont stay stuck!”He exclaimed, becoming frustrated.
 “Kelce, babe, its cause you’ve got paint on the sticky part.”You sighed, grabbing a paper towel and putting it under the water to wipe off the yellow paint from the pot.He was a pouting mess for the rest of the afternoon but was happy with the outcome of the pot, taking a photo of it to post on his snapchat story. “How did you do that?”He asked, pointing to the pastel rainbow pot you had painted.You shrugged, just going off of what you saw in the video.You two had decided to just go sit on the couch and watch some cartoons while you waited for Rafe and Topper, leaving the pots to dry on the table.
Once Topper had gotten there he had given you a quick greeting and went into the kitchen to get something to drink, accidentally elbowing one of the pots in the process and sending it to the floor, the clay colliding with your tile floor. “TOPPER!WHAT THE FUCK?!”You exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen.
“Its the stealing my hoodies from me and then pretending you didnt for me.”He replied.Your heart dropped as you realized you were wearing his hoodie right now, beginning to freak out when you realised you werent even wearing pants.
 “Shut up.”You replied, squeezing his hand lightly.Kelce came through the door a few seconds later, sighing loudly. “These people are ridiculous-I had to convince them that I was Top’s adopted brother.Did you have to do that?”He asked Rafe, going to stand at the end of the bed.
 “Nope.”Rafe replied.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, staring at Topper. “Concussion?”He asked, noticing the bandage that was peaking out from Topper’s forehead.You nodded, looking between the two boys. “How you feeling?”Kelce asked.Topper grinned, peaking one eye open. 
“Like shit.”Topper replied, a small smile on his face. “How long am I gonna be stuck here?”Topper asked, finally acknowledging the fact that he was in a hospital.Rafe shook his head, looking over to Kelce as if he knew anything about the situation that you and Rafe didnt.
Kelce shrugged, not knowing either. “I mean, with that kind of injury one could only assume a good two weeks or so.You wont be able to drive- (Y/N)- how did you get here?”Kelce asked, realising.You had texted them from the hospital which meant that Rafe hadnt driven you.
You went quiet, feeling their eyes on you. “Uhhh….I drove.”You replied, hoping they wouldnt push further.Topper opened both of his eyes this time, wanting to make sure he had understood properly. “What?”Topper asked, cringing at the lisp he now had.
He shouldve known his voice would sound different.He had literally bit off part of his tongue. “I drove.”You repeated, feeling a bit insecure.Rafe just looked confused, Kelce was shocked and Topper just couldnt believe it.
 “How’d it go?”Topper asked, wanting to sit up when he realised that he couldnt really move that much.You shrugged, trying to figure out why the attention was on you when Topper had literally almost died.
 “I dont really know, kinda just did it.I dont really remember it either.”You replied, feeling Rafe’s hand drift onto your knee, tapping your knee cap.He had been doing it for years.He was awkward most of the time and didnt know what to do if his hand was empty, usually going to hold yours or just touch you in some way to feel more grounded.
 “Why dont you remember it?”Topper asked, unable to grasp the whole situation.Thank god he didnt know that the nurse had told you about his ‘last words’.He wouldve had a heart attack on spot. “I was in shock, dum dum.I was just-just trying to make breakfast and then the fucking hospital calls me and tells me that you drove into a river.”You laughed, a few tears rolling down your face.
Toppers heart beat quickened,squeezing your hand tight. “I said I was sorry...did you at least drink water this morning?”He asked, wishing he could hug you.You laughed, wiping your face. “No, no I didnt cause I thought you were gonna die!”You replied, sniffling.
 “For the love of life, Topper.Keep up.”You let out a shaky breath. “Im trying my best, sunshine.”He answered, not paying attention to Rafe or Kelce.It felt like you were the only one who was actually in the room with him.
 “I mean, I guess its just karma.Have any of us ever left during a movie night?All im saying is I think its like a curse or something.”Topper answered, trying his best to get you to stop crying.Kelce couldnt even think of something to say, the situation was overpowering him.
You just sighed,leaning your forehead against the mattress, staring down at the floor. “Why’d you leave?”You asked, still not understanding the full situation that lead to Topper leaving your house.Rafe shifted in his seat, squeezing your knee, almost trying to tell you not to bring it up again.
 “Just...wanted to go home.”He mumbled, knowing better than to bring up the argument that he no longer cared about.He couldve laughed at it.As jealous as he was as Rafe even he could admit that the son of a bitch cared about you more than anyone and to accuse him of not caring about you was the stupidest thing he had ever said.And that was saying a lot.
SOmetimes he was close to positive that Rafe didnt care about him or Kelce but there was never a single doubt in his mind that Rafe didnt love you.Now he kind of wish that he had died since it would leave you with Rafe and Kelce.
They were both better friends than he could ever be no matter how hard he tried.It wouldve been better for the whole friend group if he had stayed dead. “You have a concussion, bubs.Nothing you say is relevant for the next two weeks.”You joked, feeling the tears roll down your face and onto your collarbones, not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.
 “You have a single brain cell, (Y/N).Nothing you say is relevant.”He replied, laughing a bit.It didnt do much but hurt his head and make his tongue sting. “See?That’s not relevant.”You replied, lifting your head up from the mattress and kissing the back of his hand lightly.
Rafe smiled slightly, glad to see that you were a bit better and that Topper hadnt yelled at him to get out. “You know what?I just think I should say something really important.”Topper announced, thinking that he sounded louder than he actually did.Rafe squeezed your knee tightly, worried that Topper would tell you what he knew and that Kelce would freak out about it.
 “I dont think im allowed to watch tv with a concussion-fuck.”Topper grumbled, hearing Rafe let out a sigh of relief.He noticed Kelce still standing, getting up and asking you quietly if you two could share your seat.
You huffed, standing up and allowing him to sit in your chair, sitting on his lap, feeling self conscious when Toppers hoodie lifted to reveal half your thigh. “I mean, you could always do other things to pass the time.”Kelce replied, sitting down in the chair.
 “Hmm...like what?”Topper asked.Thank god Kelce was an optimist, the rest of you would be absolutely fucked without him. “Like….coloring, reading or….I dont know, thinking.”Kelce suggested, going quiet soon after. “Read what?”Topper asked.
He had never liked reading.Back when you guys were still in school he would refuse to read anything, tossing his homework down as you and Kelce tried to do yours.You usually had to harass Rafe for hours to do his work when all he could focus on was you.He would purposely annoy you just so you’d talk more and get all mad.
Between him and Topper you never got your work done, having to read to Topper so he would get some of his work done. “I could read you the Harry Potter books, ive got them downloaded to my phone.”You replied, a small grin on your face.
Toppers face became red, wanting to protest but deciding that he’d rather have you read to him than continue with the upsetting conversations. “Yeah, okay.”He answered, closing his eyes as you began to read.Kelce was smiling as you read, making comments every once in a while. 
“Wow, what a bitch.”He muttered about Vernon.Rafe squeezed your waist, resting his head against your back.It was some time in the afternoon when the nurse came in to check Toppers IV and give him some more medication. “Theres food available in the cafeteria, a warm soup or something soft would be best for your friend here.”She gestured towards Topper before leaving.
She had given you all a weird look, trying to figure out why a patient’s girlfriend was sitting on the lap of his assumed brother.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, hearing his stomach rumbling. “Alright, well im going to the cafeteria. (Y/N), can you come with me please?”He asked.
You sighed, shaking your head. “Im not wearing pants.”You answered. “Can you stand up for a minute?”Rafe asked.You huffed, getting off of his lap, eyes widening when he pulled off his shorts and handed them right over to you.
Kelce wasnt even surprised, just hungry.You awkwardly pulled up the shorts, tying them tight around your waist and following Kelce into the elevator.Everything was going smoothly until it came to a stop. “What the hell?”Kelce asked, hitting a ton of buttons at once. “Kelce!Stop that!”You smacked his wrist, screaming when the elevator moved slightly, coming to a stop again. 
“What should I do?Im pressing the red button!”He exclaimed as he pressed it again. “I dont know!Press it again!”You exclaimed, clinging onto his arm. “Oh my fuck-shit dammit!Now we’re gonna die!”You exclaimed. 
“We’re already in a hospital, we’ll be fine.”He answered, pressing the button again. “Kelce!It’s gonna fall!”You exclaimed, holding onto him so tight you were starting to shake. “No its not, its fine.Just wait for someone to come fix it.”He spoke, pulling you onto the floor so you were sitting against him. “It’ll be fine, just wait.”He repeated.
“Im sorry, man.”Topper sighed, looking over to Rafe.THe brunette simply shrugged, not really bothered by it anymore. “Apology accepted.”Rafe replied.Topper let out a sigh of relief, glad that the tension wasnt as strong.
 “But like, can you be honest real quick?”Topper asked, waiting for Rafe to answer. “Yeah, yeah okay.”Rafe replied, dreading what Topper would ask. “Did you guys do anything?”He asked.Rafe frowned, not knowing what to say.
He didnt want to tell Topper something that you werent okay with him knowing but at the same time didnt want to lie. “Yeah, yeah we did.”Rafe replied, holding his breath.Topper simply hummed, letting out a breath through his nose. 
“Were you careful?You know she doesnt….hasnt done those types of things.You didnt hurt her though, right?”Topper asked.Rafe was a bit confused, thinking that Topper would get all jealous and grumpy. “Yeah, yeah I was….she was fine, like she said she was fine and I told her she could….ya know, stop me.She didnt though, I was careful.”Rafe’s cheeks were red, trying not to go into too much depth.
Topper nodded a bit, sighing. “Thats good...so like, are you guys dating now or whatever?”Topper asked, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach.Rafe gulped, not really knowing the answer himself. “I dont know….its all complicated I guess.”He replied, feeling guilty now that he was actually talking about it.
 “Okay...hey, do you think she knows?”Topper asked, hoping you wouldnt walk in at the wrong time.Rafe laughed at the comment. “Damn, man.I dont even know.Like, she obviously knows I do.Ive made it pretty obvious but like...you’ve made it pretty obvious too at this point I think.I feel like she doesnt think anyone would like her like that no matter how obvious we make it.I dont know, I feel like right now wouldnt be a good time to talk to her about this though, lets just not say anything to her.”Rafe muttered, realising he had promised you that he wouldnt tell anyone what you two had done last night
. “Hmm...you know whats fucked?”Topper asked, blinking slowly.Rafe hummed, waiting for him to continue. “I lost my two year streak with her.And you.”The blonde smiled, wiggling his toes carefully.Rafe laughed, pinching his nostrils. “Yeah, thats fucked.”He agreed.
“Nobody’s coming.”You huffed, holding on to Kelce’s hand as you leaned against the elevator wall. “You dont know that.”He replied, not sounding genuine at all. “I dont know….do you wanna talk about something?”You asked, thinking of ways to pass time while you guys were trapped.
He sighed, nodding. “What do you wanna talk about?”He asked, flicking at your fingertips. “I dont know...how are your cousins?”You asked, realising that that’s where he had come from.He chuckled, shaking his head.
 “Alec would not stop complaining about sushi, I guess her favorite restaurant closed and now shes all pissy about it.Shes really fucking tall now.”He sighed, kind of glad that he was able to leave the house.You nodded, trying to think of something else to say.
Alec was his 17 year old cousin, she was nice sometimes but she could also be a lot to handle from what you had heard.She was pretty cool though, always commenting on your instagram posts and hyping you up.It kind of gave Rafe a little competition since she always commented before him.
 “What about Jax?Is he still an ass?”You asked.You had met Jax a total of two times, both times he had called you hot and stared at you.He was 17 so it was kind of weird of him but you hadnt had to deal with him in a good six months.
Kelce shrugged, not having much to say. “Yeah, I dont think hes ever gonna change.He tried to download porn to my phone.”Kelce replied, biting the inside of his cheek. “Hey, is it true that Rafe kissed you?I mean, he told me but I figured he probably just dreamt it.”fuck.
Now everything was coming unraveled and you’d have to figure out how you wouldnt hurt anyone. “Uh...yeah, he did.”You answered, biting your bottom lip.He was silent.That was scary if something was so shocking that Kelce had nothing to say.
 “Alright...so how do you feel about it?”He asked, keeping his voice calm and steady.He was tired of not knowing what was going on, not understanding the new tension between you and Rafe.There had always been something there but recently it seemed to get a lot more serious.
But then again he had noticed the way you held Topper, how you’d sigh whenever the blonde kissed your forehead or when he’d hug you.He didnt really want to say anything, figuring that when you wanted to date one of them you would.
Now he sounded exactly like Topper, you were pretty sure those were the exact words that he had said to you. “Um….yeah, I dont really know.I guess that like im not mad about it but I just...I dont know how to feel.”You answered, knowing that it sounded stupid.
Kelce nodded, understanding. “So do you like Rafe?LIke, you know.”He asked, pulling at the sleeve of the hoodie out of boredom.You shrugged, not knowing the answer. “(Y/N), come on now.I see the way you look at him...its a little bit of something.”He pushed.
You knew he was right but you’d rather die than admit it. “I dont know, Kelce.Its just weird, I guess.Like we’ve been friends for like...eight years and now all this shit is happening.”You answered.
He nodded, trying to think of the best advice to give you. “Alright, well life is too short for shit.If you like Rafe then I think you should go for it.All that matters is that you’re happy and if he makes you happy then you should be with him.”Kelce squeezed your hand, waiting for you to speak.
Of course Kelce would say that.That was the most Kelce thing you had ever heard him say. “Yeah, but I dont think I want to be with him.”You muttered, not knowing how to explain what you were feeling.Kelce was confused, trying his best not to show it.
 “Okay….but why?Do you like someone else at the same time?”He asked, trying to piece everything together.The elevator began to move again, scaring you both. “Shit.”You sighed, holding on to his arm as he helped you up. 
“We’ll talk about this later.”It sounded like more of a question.He had never been great at being assertive.A few staff members apologized, explaining that a patient had went roaming around and they had to stop the elevators to prevent them from leaving the hospital.
Kelce held onto your hand tight as you made your way to the cafeteria.None of the food looked particularly appetizing, eventually deciding on a small container of mac and cheese for yourself, a turkey sandwich for Rafe and finding a sealed bowl of potato soup for Topper.
Kelce had grabbed a few sodas and a gatorade for Topper, reuniting with you as you both went to the line, paying for the food.You two had decided on just taking the elevator again, figuring it would be difficult to walk up the stairs with so much to carry.
Luckily it didnt come to a stop this time, the two of you completing the trip successfully and walking back into the hospital room.Rafe and Topper were laughing about something, Rafe sitting in his boxers.It was quite funny.You all ate in a pretty much silence, having to help Topper elevate the upper half of his bed so he could eat properly. 
“I hate hospital food.”Rafe sighed, biting into his sandwich while keeping you balanced on his left thigh.He tried to ignore all of the thoughts he was getting, figuring that the lack of caffeine in his system was making him horny.
That first night in the hospital had been the hardest.You were the only one who was allowed to stay while Kelce and Rafe had to go home.You had given Rafe his sweatpants back.
He decided that he needed to talk to you, taking your hand and getting far away from the room where the trauma patients were seperated from the elderly. “How are you?”He asked.You kind of wanted to punch him.What the hell kind of question was that?
 “I just...im fine.”You forced yourself to grin, not wanting to be rude.He licked his lips, looking around. “Thats...not what I meant.”His face flushed a bit, his ears pink. “oh-oh....um, yeah im fine.”You repeated.He hummed, hands ending up in the pockets of your hoodie.
 “Thats good....im sorry that I went so fast, I know you wanted me to be gentle.”He apologized, kissing your forehead. “Its fine, Rafe.”You answered, hugging him.He huffed, accepting the hug. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow, I can stop by your house and grab you some clothes.”He offered, staring down at you.You nodded, accepting the offer.He leaned down, kissing you gently, feeling himself get weak.
You pulled away after a moment, kissing the tip of his nose before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”You grinned, kissing him gently. “Alright, text me the clothes that you want...do you want one of my shirts?”he asked, smiling when you nodded. “Alright....okay, tomorrow.”He repeated, finally letting go of you.
You ended up staying up for a majority of the night, holding Topper’s hand as you read to him, switching from Harry Potter to short stories.He had moved over in his bed ever so slightly, groaning in pain, staring at the small empty space he had made.
You took the message, hesitantly laying next to him, becoming stiff when he wrapped his good arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re cold.”He mumbled, holding you tighter.
The nurse came in to wake him up every hour and a half since sleep was bad for concussions.You barely got any sleep, more focused on listening to make sure his heartbeat was steady.
Rafe and Kelce came at seven in the morning with coffee and donuts, a container of chocolate flavored yogurt for Topper.Rafe had stuffed one of your backpacks full of clothes, grabbing whatever he thought would bring you comfort.
He had grabbed you a new shirt from his closet, a mint blue and purple striped polo that was pretty long on him which meant it would fit you like a baggy dress, spraying it with his cologne.
He grabbed your facewash for you, a hairbrush, some hair ties, some socks, soft pants and some loose fitting shirts.He felt a little guilty for looking through your bras and underwear but he knew he couldnt just not bring you some, grabbing a few random ones and stuffing them in the bag.
He grabbed your polaroid camera and a few of your photos, thinking that you might show them to Topper.You were glad to be able to change into some pants, thanking him quietly and slipping in the bathroom to change, sighing when you noticed how wattery and irritated your eyes looked, changing into the shirt that you had seen Rafe wear a couple of times, sniffing it and feeling a calm sensation run through your body.
You sat at the foot of the bed, pulling your knees to your chest as you drank your coffee, taking long, slow blinks.That had been your first day without sleep.It wasnt until the third day that Kelce and Rafe were becoming really concerned.
It had began to rain outside, Kelce and Rafe were trying to convince you to leave and go home. “No.”You answered, sitting in one of the chairs.Topper was asleep.“No-no, you.We’re going home- dont give me that look.You can come back tomorrow but tonight you’re going to sleep in your bed, okay?”Kelce asked, not really giving you any options, picking up your bag.
 “No.”You repeated, wanting to scream when he grabbed your arm, bringing you outside the room. “(Y/N), you havent slept in days.Just come home.”Rafe tried to convince you, going on to explain that you could ride with him or Kelce and then tomorrow the three of you would go into Rafe’s truck and Kelce could drive your car back to your house so you didnt have to worry about it.
You agreed eventually, going back into the room to say bye to Topper, kissing his cheek. “Hey, dont worry about me.Got it?If I find out you were worrying about me im gonna break all your flower pots.”He threatened, a small grin on his face.
You had decided to drive with Kelce, holding his hand as he drove on the wet roads.He was careful to drive slowly so he wouldnt freak you out, informing you that Rafe was going to go stop at a Papa Ginos to grab you guys dinner.
Your house felt foreign to you, the couch not comfy anymore.Kelce frowned, noticing your discomfort. The anxiety felt like it was eating away at your brain.Kelce tried to think of a way to help, the thoughts not coming so easy to him anymore.
The stress was building up inside of him, the stress from dealing with everyone elses problems combining with his own. “Come on.”He grabbed your hand, bringing you upstairs.
Your legs were tired from being held to your chest or bent at uncomfortable angles so you could lay in the hospital bed.He opened the door to your bedroom. “Lay down.”He told you, hoping his voice hadnt come across as creepy.
You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he was telling you to do this but going along with it anyways.He got onto the bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your toso, one of his legs resting across your thighs with his head directly under your chin.
 “What are you doing?”You asked.You couldnt deny it, it was quite a comfortable position. “Im trying to help.I saw this thing on Tik Tok the other day that if you lay on someone its like a weighted blanket and helps with stress.”He explained, pulling your comforter up over your bodies.
It only took you a matter of seconds to fall asleep, Kelce grinning.The feeling of cuddling someone helped him too, a small sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes as well, falling asleep before Rafe pulled into your driveway with a pizza in the backseat.
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