#i dont really think im that ugly but when NO one tries to talk to you I guess it affects your self-esteem

[floshav]

more rodrick PLSSSSS it can be anything

omg this is my first req ever and im so excited thank you!!

you wanted more Rodrick well here's more Rodrick.

part 2 out now!!

summary: Rodricks your best friend but thats not enough for you. As much as you hate to admit, you like the boy. That's why you show up drunk and high at one of his infamous house parties after he'd ranted to you about how he was so so in love with Heather Hills.

warnings: angst, heartache, kissing, Heather Hills, pining, weed, alcohol, crying, one sided love kinda, self hate

wc: 1k+

"She was so pretty."

"Oh yea?"

"No. I dont think you understand, like the way her hair smelled when she strut past me, the smell of..... smell of something light. Fresh! Pink even."

Rodrick practically had stars in his eyes when he described how his crush was at school. You'd be ecstatic if the crush was you, but the world is cruel so here you were talking about Heather Hills for the last hour or so.

"Y'know... I heard she spat on Louise last week. Poor kid, was dosed in her icky saliva for the whole day." Y/n was selfish but she tried to paint Heather in a bad light.

"Shit i'd pay good money for her to spit on me."

Well that backfired she thought.

"Freak" Y/n lightly laughed as she fell back onto Rodricks soft bed. Chest heaving up and down whilst her mind felt clouded.

"What can I say, love makes anyone a freak."

There was that word again. Love. How could he be bloody in love with little miss Heather Hills. The queen of highschool. The perfect girl. Pretty blondie. Pretty face. Y/n quickly began to realise there were plenty of reasons for Rodrick to crush on her. Y/n was a nobody. She thought her face ugly, her style wack, her eyes too uneven. She hated, hated, hated herself and wished she looked like Heather.

"Oh. My. God. I just had the best fucking idea" Rodrick exclaimed with the dorkiest smile he could produce, each fine line below the thickness of his eyebrows seen under the dim lighting of his room.

"Hmm?" Y/n buzzed as she basked in the coolness of his sheets

"M'gonna throw a party" "Heather would definitely come, i mean its one of my parties we're talking about."

Flashbacks to Rodrick's last party hit y/n's head like a train when she remembered how chaotic and horrible the experience was. Drunk teens shouting and chugging unknown beverages, shoulders brushing against shoulders constantly as she tried to find a room she could breath in without having to see another damn couple absolutely devouring eachother. Each and every minuscule second she'd spent in that house made her want to puke. The sight that made her want to puke the most was Rodrick's clearly drunk self throwing himself onto Heather, eyes sparkly with hope whilst she just sat there smiling so sweetly it was sickening.

Quickly she was sent back to reality.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" she questioned, tired.

"Course it is! she always comes to my things"

"Kay' whatever you think is gonna earn you your little dream girl specimen."

"Trust me, this times different." That's what he always said.

--------------------------------------

It's ok. It's ok. I-It's.... it's gonna be fine. she told herself as she admired the makeup she'd put on for tonight's occasion, she'd tried to copy one of Heathers famous looks, but quickly realised it didn't suit her skin so she stuck to her usual and hated herself for it. It was dreadfully the day of his party. The day that she'd have to witness him openly flirt with Heather just because he had an excuse to down a dozen bottles of cheap booze. She swiped a smear of lipstick that somehow ended up below her lip and sighed as she adjusted her shirt. Why do you always give in? Just confess you idiot. No! what the fuck am i thinking. she scrunched her nose and took a deep breath in, abusing her vanity with the pressure from the pads of her fingers.

She really really didn't want to go. She couldn't bare seeing Heather show up with her annoyingly perfect face, her perfect nose, her perfect hair, her stupidly sweet personality that everyone gaped over. Fuck it. She hated herself and wanted to forget that Rodrick even existed.

She found her not so hidden stash of weed she'd carelessly left under a pile of worksheets from her chemistry class, something ionic bonding. She didn't know how long it'd sat there for but it stained the ziplock bag a dull yellow. The bag was crinkled and smelled like the thought of Rodrick. Whenever she was upset or mad at Rodrick she'd smoke weed to drown the thoughts out but she slowly realised it was ruining the drug as a whole for her.

She rolled a joint in a random piece of paper she'd found thrown on her floor and lit up the end, taking a deep whiff of it, smile playing on her lips.

-----------------------------

"Animals.....Elephants....Tiguurrrsssss!" She slurred as she laid flat on her disheveled bed scrunching the sheets as her eyes formed stars around her ceiling. She got up abruptly, hair a mess and rubbed her eyes deepening the pressure with every second. "Rrrr... What time? Uggggh" She sighed as she reached for her phone. Her room was cloudy and smelled of green. Beside her were a few empty glasses so she took a sniff, curious. Happy juice? No, Vodka she thought. She saw the emptied out bottle of cheap convenience store alcohol by the side of her feet a long with the yellowed bag of weed which was empty. it'd been around 2 hours since she blacked out on her bed somehow thinking about how her fan looked like the shape of animals. Shit, fuck, ass, asshole! she muttered under her breath as she plopped back down.

"Why not? What's thurrr worst that could happennn?" she mumbled eyes fluttering as she picked up her bag and stumbled out her window, careful not to wake anyone. She took the route down the tree that always worked for her but in a clumsy fashion as she fumbled down the hard branches of her overgrown escape buddy. Craaack, Creeeeak. The continuous sounds made her annoyed. "Uggggfh can't everyone just shut up!!"

--------------------------------------

There she was. Standing dumb, drunk and high in front of the booming house lit up by warm yellow light. She could already smell the familiar smell of cheap alcohol, body odour and weed. My kind of night she thought as she barely made her way to the entrance. There were already people outside partying like no tomorrow as some flipped their hair to some overplayed hip hop song that everyone knew. While some were more restricted, sipping on booze as they giggled with their friends. The true highschool experience y/n thought.

Bump.

"Hey! Watch it-"

"Y/n?"

It was someone with beautiful waves of blonde still visible from her clouded vision, pretty makeup and a perfect body. Heather.

"O-Oh hey Heather! Pretty little Heather Hills." Y/n slurred as her vision was still blurred

"Uhm... Y'alright?" She questioned looking back at her friends as if y/n was cuckoo.

"No. No. No. No! Y-you. You. You and your stupidly perfect self can go to hell!" y/n lashed out

"W-what? Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" Heather said clearly freaked out by the sudden aggression.

Tears started to cloud y/n's vision so she took in a deeeeep breath trying to suck in as much oxygen as she could.

"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You- You're all he wants. Heather, heather, heather! My perfect little heather with her pretty little face!" Y/n cried out as her knees began to weaken. She had no sense of shame, embarrassment or anxiety. She was too blacked out for this. So blacked out she just blurted her deepest darkest thoughts.

A crowd began to form around them, some curious at the sudden shouting girl who was crumbling a part, vulnerable in front of some people she didn't even know the names of.

"W-what? What are you even saying y/n." Heather said confused and disturbed as she began to back away.

Warmth began to spread at the small of y/n's back. Rodricks hand.

"Y/n? Why the fuck are you screaming?- Y/n s-shit you're not alright." Rodrick hastily slung y/n's arm around his shoulder careful with her as if she was a piece of fine china.

"S-sorry bout' that Heaths, trust me she doesn't mean anything she's saying" Rodrick stutters clearly not drunk enough, nervous as he realises that Heather is clearly agitated.

"Y-yea. It's okay Rodrick. It's not your fault, just get her far from here kay?" Heather said with sympathy and those stupid doe eyes whilst placing a hand on his shoulder. This should've made him tremble with pleasure, but the fact that she'd talked about y/n as if she was a monster made him angry.

"Yea. Yea alright." Rodrick scoffed, lightly rolling his eyes before dragging y/n's blacked out figure up his carpeted staircase, the carpet grazing her knees creating a friction which burned satisfyingly on her kneecaps.

"Fuuuck. Fuck..." Y/n softly mumbled, head tilting to the side of his shoulder as he firmed his grip on the side of her shoulder. Shoulders.... shoulders are for friends, real girls get hands put on their waist. Not shoulders. She managed to conjure the thought in her hazed mind.

He struggled to open his door as y/n's body weight pressed into the side of him as he suddenly heard silent weeps of sorrow erupt from her lips.

He set her on the foot of his bed, careful not to drop her anywhere harsh.

"Y/n? Y/n what's wrong, you're like black out drunk." He asked now bending down with both hands on his knees.

He slowly caresses his hand over the hill of her cheekbone and shoves a fly of hair away from her puffy eyes.

"You....i... Im sick of you and- and her." She sighs as a hysterical tear falls from her eye. Her face was the saddest Rodrick had ever seen and this broke his heart.

"Me and... me and who y/n?" He said so softly as he began to crouch so so close to her, his eyes looking up into hers with genuine curiosity and care. The mention of her name fluttered her heart.

"Heather" She breathed out involuntarily sniffling.

"You don't like me talking about her?" He slowly asked as if all the dots were finally clicking together.

"That's a stupid question." He lowly chuckled as he swiped his thumb under the pad of her eyes.

"I.. I really- I really"

"You really what?" He said again so so softly

"I really like you." She blurted before she felt that familiar rush of heat rapture her face.

Rodrick's eyes glance down to her swollen lips and he feels a strong ache pill at his heart. His best friend just confessed about her underlaying fondness of him and he'd been an ass talking about Heather all the time. He imagined how bad it must've sucked all the damn time.

"I-I'm so sorry I- I always talked about her."

"No! don't fucking be sorry you idiotttt." She slurred

"You- You don't owe me anything." She smiled softly as she fluffed up his hair.

"Maybe..." This is wrong he thought

"Maybe i do owe you an apology." He said slow and steady as he glanced down to her lips and locked with it for the final time.

He slowly moved in to plant a soft kiss on her puffy lips and her eyes widened in surprise.

The kiss felt like heaven and she tasted like everything he was used to. A hint of cherry chapstick, a lot of weed and something coconut. His lips felt so soft against hers and she breathed in every second of the experience. She almost wanted to whine when he pulled away.

"I- Fuck."

Y/n's euphoric high was quickly ruined at the notice of him clearly regretting his decision.

"No- It's fine Rodrick. I get it, it was just a in the moment thing." She sighed as she put both her hands to her face rubbing her cheeks and eyes as if she was trying to rid off the pain in her heart.

"No, no, no! it's not that."

"I just..."

"Fuck it." He went in for another kiss.

--------------------------(end)

thank u for the request!! i hope this was enough to satisfy ur rodrick need lol, if u ever want a smutty end to this lmk but yarrrrr

[whousestypewriters]

its you and me, baby - j.l x reader

pairing: joey lynch x fem!reader [established relationship]

requested: yes / no

warnings: swearing and sadish/insecure thoughts?

a/n: dw guys im still feeding you even tho im not online (this has been ling over due as well sorry to the two anons who requested this for taking so long!!) also i rlly dont like that i kinda not really sorta made aoife a problem in this bc joeyaoife forever!!!

taglist: @lxvebelle, @ecliphttlunar,

you like to think you're not insecure.

really.

but sometimes those small moments of doubt creep in and you find yourself questioning yourself more.

like right now as you watch your boyfriend talk to a very pretty girl at the bar. the same girl he'd been talking to for the last fifteen minutes. aoife molloy. she went to school with you and joey. you never really talked much to her but always got the vibe that she was a perfect shining star, that everyone loved.

example number one; your boyfriends smile right now.

he's smiling brightly at aoife, chatting away while he gets drinks for the both of you, laughing at whatever things she says. the feeling starts to build in your gut, one you desperately try to shove down because its the worst feeling ever.

and you see them too. the slight touches from aoife on joey's arm. fucking hell you're going to need several drinks if this is how tonight is going to go.

aoife's loud laugh breaks through your thoughts and draws your attention - not that you weren't already looking at them - back to her. joey's eyes are alight and you feel a ping of sadness and two ugly emotions you definitely don't like; insecurity and jealousy.

why didn't joe's eyes light up that bright when you two were together? why did he laugh as loud? was it you? were you just not funny enough? or was it something else? that one thing deep, deep down you were always afraid of. that you weren't good enough for him. and that he had found someone better.

"stupid shit thoughts," you grumble to yourself. "shut up, shut up, shut up."

pushing away all thoughts, you decide on getting your mopey ass a drink instead cause clearly someone else can't do that. standing up you make your way over to the bar and just to be petty you slip in next to joey and aoife and call out to the bartender ordering your drink.

joey hears your voice and his head instantly snaps around to you. "y/n, hey baby i was just getting us some drinks," he says with a small grin.

"yeah it seems so," you roll your eyes picking up your drink and heading back to your table. joey seemingly knowing that you're pissed says a quick goodbye to aoife and follows you over with two more drinks.

he sits down across from you and tries to make eye contact. "are you okay?"

you answer with a short nod and a sharp, "yes."

jealousy isn't a good emotion. its such an awful feeling, and you do not like it. so when joe asks, "you sure, baby?"

you kinda snap. "i said yes. i'm fine okay?"

he lets it go for now but you feel his eyes on you through out the rest of the - admittedly short - time you spent out together. you know he knows something is bothering you.

yeah, somthing was bothering you, someone called aoife molloy who's the prettiest person ever and who had joey lynch laughing his ass off for at least twenty minutes before you interrupted.

now you liked aoife, she was a sweet girl, but seeing the way she was with joey tonight really made you wanna bitch slap her. that was your boyfriend not hers.

the ride home you were quiet and you tried to bury the jealousy and insecurity bubbling beneath the surface you really did. but those dumb little thoughts kept weaselling their way into your head creating more doubt.

after you had both gone inside - still not talking - joey had had a shower and started to relax getting ready for bed while you had your own.

the hot - ok more like burning - water did nothing to ease the awful feeling in your gut. it was aoife molloy most guys your age would kill to go out with her. and she had chosen to talk to your boyfriend - who you aren't kidding yourself he's absolutely gorgeous. you've heard girls whispering about him more that a few times - you're not-single-very-taken-boyfriend.

ugh.

so when you come out of the shower and still didn't talk to joey thats when he snapped.

"alright thats it." he shoots his arms out wrapping them around your waist and throwing you on your back on the bed. he leans over you one arm on each side of your head caging you in. "what is wrong, and don't you dare say nothing because i swear to god i will kill you-in-a-non-threatening-way-because-i-love-you," he rushes the last part out.

"nothi-"

"y/n."

"fine," you sigh. "it... bothered me tonight, when you were talking with aoife."

"and..." joey eggs you on.

we're you really about to say this? "and i got jealous and insecure and i wasn't happy about it."

"why were you jealous?"

"because of her!" you cry. "its aoife fucking molloy, she's gorgeous, she's every guys dream girl and she was flirting with my boyfriend! and my boyfriend was smiling right back at her and yes it made me jealous because my boyfriend never smiles at me like that. he never laughs as loud when he's with me so yes. i. was. jealous."

joey's face stays still for a moment before he breaks into the biggest laugh. "oh, my god, y/n!" he chuckles loudly. "you have absolutely nothing to be worried about there. you wanna know what we were talking about the entire time? you." he leans down and presses a kiss on your forehead. "we were talking about you." he presses another kiss to your cheek, "aoife had brought up how grumpy you looked and we got caught up talking about you." he presses a kiss to the other cheek.

"me?"

"yes you, my grumpy little bug." he presses a soft kiss on your lips.

"there is no-one else, you got that? i adore you. i cannot stand the thought i being with anyone else. it physically pains me. i love you more than i'm actually sure is possible." he presses another kiss to your lips.

"its you and me baby. you and me."

a smile overcomes your lips and you pull joeys face down to kiss him yourself. "i love you," you whisper. "so much."

you both pull yourselves up under the bedcovers and fall asleep to the soft kisses and squeezes you exchange.

ok so maybe you are a little insecure but none of it matters as long as the boy who has his arms wrapped around you was with you.

a/n pt2: ok so i dont really know what happened with the ending so i lowkey js gave up on it. i hope you enjoy!!

[rainbowravez]

i think it's really disappointing how interesting and complex of a character yul could be instead of being a one-dimensional bigoted racist archetype used as comedic relief.

it would've been so much better if he were a commentary on how the entertainment industry can shape people into genuine horrible people because of the toxic work culture and serve as a contrast to james, who left the industry (or atleast isn't as involved) and how it let him grow as a person, while yul has to stay because he has no choice for other sources of income and how his bitterness and resentment only continues to grow and harbor into the man he is now. imagine if a huge part of his resentment towards james was because of jealousy that he was able to escape the industry, instead of just mostly being because he poisoned him with mushrooms last season. what if that's why he was so angry that james tried to lecture him because james has no clue what it's like for him and that he has the nerve to question him when he feels james had the privilege of being able to escape. he's angry that someone who could relate to his struggles now is just like everyone else; an outsider of how bad the workforce he's in is and he's truly alone again with nobody to confide in because he hates the only other person who can relate, grett.

his relationship with grett is implied to be forced upon him and this could've been so interesting to explore. in the first few episodes it seems like he has genuine moments with her. what if a part of him actually loved her because he finally has someone who can relate, but because he was forced into this position he sees her as his captor who is the embodiment of how he will never have the ability to make his own choices. they got the right idea when he's talking to james on the bike, where he says "when i win the 3 million, i'll never have to listen to anyone", but it's ruined when it's just chalked up to him being like "i dont want a fat girlfriend cuz shes ugly and im not". it could've been a commentary on how k-pop stars are often objectified by their fanbase and their employers and how little control they have in their lives, especially being recruited at a young age (WHICH IS LITERALLY STATED IN THE SHOW!!! WHEN HE SAID A VIDEO OF HIM DANCING BLEW UP!!) and the mental toll it has. he's so cruel to her because of his frustration with his situation and a want for her to leave, both using her as a punching bag for his lack of control while simultaneously trying to make her leave him as a way to regain the little control he has over himself.

the biggest flaw of yul's characterization is how his bigotry is NEVER called out. yes, the point is that he's SUPPOSED to be unlikable, but nobody ever says he's being racist and why it's wrong (besides gabby when she defends grett), they say it's to make us hate him more but if THESE THINGS AREN'T CALLED OUT, especially to their young fanbase of young teens, it comes across as just out-of-pocket "dark" humor that relies of shock value to make the audience laugh, which insinuates that it's okay. he's literally just saying bigoted shit for the sake of it. you can write an unlikable character without making him drop obscenities every moment he's on screen. it's bad writing and an easy opt out that takes little effort to write and has become normalized in the show, esp. considering how the spanish va of yul improvised a racist line (calling james a monkey) and how they just let it slide because "oh well it's in character". if your voice actor is randomly saying racist stuff that's not even in the script and you allow it to slide, your team has a serious problem.

there's so many characters that are intertwined with the entertainment industry (riya, james, grett, yul) and so many of the ideas are THERE but they aren't dived into and these characters end up being one-note as a result, like yul and riya. the best we can do is infer but that can only go so far. maybe i'm asking too much for a total drama inspired series to have complex writing and nuance, but if you want to differentiate and distance yourself from total drama (esp. when it prides it's writing as being more complex than total drama) maybe actually put some effort into making complex characters and not using them as a puppet to make bigoted remarks.

[wiihtigo]

Your g1->es starbee is so funnie and awesome In your mind how do uou think they got together in g1. Is it pre war. Cross faction romance. I want to go to the world of your transformers fanon

thank youuu^_^ the ES starbee 89 parter is somthn actually cooked up with my friend shayan so i cant took full credit for the vision. but i can take. half credit:)

basically they get together DURING THE WAR for some cross faction drama cuz theyre STUPID theyre so STUPID

(images included for visual aid)

so they start this romeo and juliet sort of relationship where they keep having to meet in secret to hang out

we didnt dwell too much on how this actually came to be bcuz we were thinking of this as like a real episode script for a 3 parter that would never exist and was thinking their g1 relationship would only be shown in flashbacks while it was already well underway BUT in the back of my mind i always thought it was something like: starscream makes the odd offhanded battleground sarcastic sort of flirty comment at bee and bee is like "??" and internally is like Wow thats crazy i never noticed before that starscream isnt just a huge ugly disgusting hideous mean ugly shambling beast, hes all that but also....interested in me?

i think what draws bee to starscream is that hes treated basically as the baby of the autobots, but going along with my favorite bee characterizations (g1 and the g1 mini novel story 'Joyride' where he kidnaps some delinquents and reenacts Christine and is overall really delightfully evil, ES and idw) hes kind of a jackass sometimes and not just the "sweet little bumblebee, friend to all" that everyone sees him as. I think bee finds his relationship with starscream gratifying because its rebellious and forbidden and also starscream treats him so differently from all the autobots. I also think he gets some sick pleasure from feeling morally superior to him and being able to tease and banter with him and having it always be ok no matter how far he goes because its STARSCREAM its impossible to feel sorry for him.

as for what starscream gets out of it: a scheme. clearly. LOL! I think when they first met up it was just out of curiosity and he planned to kidnap him maybe but for some reason didnt. so they kept seeing each other....and starscream was like "ok this is fine, if i build up trust with this scout maybe i can SEDUCE HIM TO OUR SIDE or take him in him as a hostage and get some brownie points w megs or take him apart and use him as scrap metal or SOMETHING"

i think a point of tension in all their little meetups is them simultaneously thinking "hes so easy to manipulate/I CAN CHANGE HIM"

I think starscream tries to pull a "i was born with glass bones and paper skin" on bee every so often but bee is too smart to fall for it lol. (basically what he did to hashtag in ES- he never learns!) but every once in a while during their talks theres..a tiiiiiny glimmer of honesty...something deeper inside past the lies and fakeass traumadumping that keeps bringing bumblebee back for more....

every time bee broaches the topic of joining the autobots it gets shot down and everytime starscream mentions him joining them bee is like "Are you out of your ever loving mind"

eventually things fall apart, as lazerbeak follows starscream out on one of their secret dates and soundwave confronts him at their spot threatens to snitch. Star is like "Wait i was just using him this entire time i actually dont feel anything for him at all but im sooo close to getting him to trust me enough that i can put on a convincing 'i wanna join the autobots' gambit pleeease dont tell megatron"............and then (dramatic sting) bumblebee was there the whole time...and heard the whole thing...........he givse ss a chance ....starscream digs his heels in and is like gah soundwave you just wasted months of work and soundwave is like ok lets just capture him. (lowkey he knows they were serious abt eachother and is using this as a way to make him choose between this bug or the decepticons) so starscream attacks bee and they capture him and in typical g1 fashion the autobots save him before 20 minutes are up but at that point all trust is LOST starbee is OVER theyre BROKEN UP AND STARSCREAM AND BUMBLEBEE HATE EACH OTHER NOW!!!!!!!!! (i think before optimus and crew showed up to the brig to bust him out starscream tried to come and talk to him when no one was looking but they got into a fight and starscream got genuinely angry that bee didnt believe this couldve TOTALLYYY BEEN AN INTENTIONAL GAMBIT...YOU SHOULDVE TRUSTED ME, so he digs his heels in even deeper and is like ITS TRUE I HATE YOU STUPID AUTOBRAT)

the war goes on. fast forward a million years. and they still havent talked extendedly since then. LOL

theres like a million things that happen in the ES portion but i feel like this ask response is long enough and also its not relevant to what you asked

[crushedsweets]

h music moon anon back again

what instruments do u think each creep would play? i think toby would play drums or something as an outlet for his emotions

tim plays an ancient acoustic guitar that’s missing like 2 strings and the wood is literally rotting (he’s had it since like 1999 and refuses to get rid of it)

nina sings. she defo had a yt cover channel at one point

unsure for the rest.. hm

- 🌙

oo. omg. yes. i like this. just a reminder that i really have no experience with instruments but i think its cool. half/most of these characters DON'T play in my au, BUT IF THEY DID....

toby and drums for sure, BUT realistically his parents would never let that happen in their house and he wouldn't really wanna put in the effort to get a drum set to the cabin. but listen. harmonica toby. yeah. not expanding

tim and acoutstic guitar but its fucked up and ugly and he only keeps it because he's attatched to it but its so bad

nina singing is also sooo fucking canon. she'd prob try to learn guitar at some point but then realized she had to cut her nails and callous her fingers, so she gave up immediately LMFAOO

brian... mmm... honestly guitar is pretty fitting for him too. he'd be one of those guys at parties who starts playing and he's so incredibly mediocre at it.

i feel like i could see like. childhood kate playing the piano cuz her mom wants her to. but she was always complaining and whining and getting mad about it, and then her life was ruined by the operator when she was like 14, so.. she couldnt play even if she tried

natalie also wouldnt play anything, but i could see her like having one of those fucked up out of tune pianos thrown in the barn that she found for free on the side of the road and had to get tims truck to move it. idk if anyone knows rio romeo, but how their piano sounds basically.. WHICH I LIKE. i love it.

jack and liek a fucking flute. i legit have no reason to explain this, but jack and a flute. bros lung capacity is crazy

sally and . yall know how lisa simpson is with the saxophone or whatevr. yeah. little sally with a saxophone half her size

ben also would not play shit, but i could see him trying to make music with like. the computer. i really dont know what its called but im sure u guys get what im talking about

NOW JEFF. jeffs parents would have let him get a drum set in the garage (he wouldve bullied his own parents into agreeing to it). he wouldve thought he was sooo fucking cool and soooooo fucking funny when he was so severely NOT.

liu and another like, flute clarinet saxophone type thing.. mayhaps the piano. something classy or whatever i guess

jane and the piano. cannot accept anything else.

lulu and.. the harp... her family was crazy rich growing up...... she plays the damn harp.

ann and a violin. cant explain it. sorry. but ann and a violin.

sadie and something goofy and like playful like a tambourine.. dancing around slapping the thing and her dress is all bouncing w her and aww.

dina and also something like classy i guess. im inclined to put her w the harp too cuz like angel wings and yeah idfk . but theres no way more than 1 of them plays the harp so ill put this bitch on the piano !!!

[sun-stricken]

Gray, Lyon and Ultear family ideas? I like to imagine Gray tells them about one of fairy tail’s exploits and they get concerned about his well-being. Mandatory family trips thatGray definitely doesn’t try to avoid (Lyon and Ultear have learnt to alert the guild when they’re coming so Gray can’t escape).

And if you don’t mind, Gray and Loke being BFFs?

Thanks! This blog makes me happy

im so happy you enjoy my blog!! i enjoy it too ;D

i’ve actually made a post similar to this before, but heres more

ty for the ask and sorry this took a while, ive been busy

Once a month (at least) family trip are a must, It started with Ultear dragging Lyon places during the 7 year gap but it started being a more regular thing when Gray turned back up

the first couple time they tried to do things together, it was a disaster

they werent familiar with each other and were hella awkward

Also, when Lyon & Ultear would mention to Gray they were coming into town, he would try to convince the team to go on an impromptu job

they’ve since learned to warn Erza of their arrival so he cant leave

‘abt to come into town, do not let that mf leave’

‘Guarding the doors & windows rn’

Grays probably walked into the guild to see one or both of them and turned right back around

The first time the showed up when Gray wasnt around they got a shovel-esque talk

it was terrifying and also confusing considering they think of themselves as his siblings so shouldnt they be giving those talks?

Ultear really embraces her oldest sibling role and pays for practically everything they do together

While Gray will try to avoid in person outings, he will blow up their phones (lacrima devices, whatever) at all hours of the night

Lyon probably has a 16 step skin care routine that he tries to nag the other two into trying it

its a fools quest tbh

They argue. so much. cannot do anything together without a disagreement. they probably have fist fought each other too

They are fiercely protective of one another, they can be pretty subtle about it but its clear as day to anyone who even slightly crosses them

They as a whole have a gambling/betting problem

They have run their pockets dry with it

They have been kicked out of multiple restaurants for being too loud

Gray tells them off-handedly abt the jobs and events he went through while growing up in Fairy Tail and they just sit back and listen in horrified fascination

they have absolutely no planned photos of them, they just never got around to it (*coughcough* grayrefusedtobeinone *coughcough*)

however! they have soooo many candid ones, Gray glared and complained when he found out (but he has half of them framed or saved on his phone)

Ultear and Lyon got pretty close duriny the 7 year gap and while Gray swears hes not jealous of it he totally is

Ultear, Lyon, & Gray; Guilt Complex Extraordinaires

Loke & Gray things :D

Nobody knows if Loke had a house, he always crashed on Grays couch

They are the reason for the sassy man apocalypse

When Lucy lets him have a day off his first stop tends to be Gray

Loke taught Gray how to cook

If Gray gets mad at him, Loke will attempt to deescalate it by flirting

Grayll be scolding him and Loke will stare at him and say smth like “are we about to kiss right now🥰”

it only serves to make Gray more angry

Orange cat friend + Black cat friend

Theyre the type to know in detail each others existential crisis’s but not each others favorite color

they do not have blackmail on each other. none. because they know if they ever did and actually released it the other would post absolutely every single humiliating thing they’ve done ever

There is no such thing as a judgement free zone with them

Their tastes are so different that when they have to get gifts for each other that if they look at smth and think “wow this is so ugly” they know its the right one

they probably hooked up at some point but thats neither here nor there

Loke, Gray and Cana were kinda like the mean girls of young fairy tail

They had a dont ask dont tell policy on their pasts, however every other personal detail abt each other was free reign

A lot of their conversations have left them with a sense of dread, confusion and hysteria

Lokes the type to walk into ppls houses like its his own, his most common victim is Gray

Loke, pulling the shower curtain back: Were out of ch— stop screaming

Gray, still screaming: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE???

Loke, nonplussed: You left the kitchen window unlocked, also we’re out of chips

SORRY ITS SHORT!!

[mizugucci]

onf in chicago

hi yall im finally posting my account of seeing onf in chicago!!!! its only like 4 days late... like i said best day ever!!! below are all my notes + a bunch of photos, please forgive what i look like lol but i was so happy :)

for those that know me, know this was a HUGE deal. so of course this is going to be very long and detailed. luckily for most of my followers ill be putting it under a readmore <3

so i bought the highest tier ticket for obvious reasons, so ill just so chronologically:

first was sound check and they did ugly dance and i could NOT believe i was seeing onf in the flesh. im pretty sure i died and went to heaven then and there

once they were done with soundcheck, they did the hi-touch and group photo. the actual practice was messy but it was fun so i don't think people minded. i dont remember anything except that for whatever reason, i was legitimately the FIRST PERSON and it was a lot lmao

additionally during the group photo i had wyatt to myself lol i froze for a second but he was so kind and polite, he asked what pose i wanted to do and i dont remember if i responded or not but we did a little heart together <3

then the fansign happened and i dont remember the majority of it, partly bc i was a flustered idiot lol but i got my complete album signed!!!! life goal met for sure. wyatt i remember specifically thinking again how kind and polite he was, idr seungjun/etion but i got to hyojin and he had his hand up kind of for a highfive and i gave him the album and tried to high five at the same time it was. very awkward LOL he thought it was funny (i hope) then yuto complimented my kitty cat ears!!! i remember saying something stupid and being an idiot in front of minkyun too but. what can we do

finally was the long anticipated fanchat!!! i had my fanchat with yuto obviously and it was nerve wracking as hell but i love him so much i powered through and i hope he got something out of our conversation

the photo that we took & he signed was my best one of the night, so im really happy with how that turned out. its going to be my treasure for a long time to come:

anyway first thing i want to note is that we were sitting at high tables for the talk, but he couldnt even sit without the table dwarfing him so he stood the whole time LMAO my short king i love him so much

so after we took the photo i sat down and honestly im not sure how much he understood the first half, bc he didnt react/respond and he was slightly confused about english in the 2nd half but ANYWAY i told him i was so so proud of him, how far he's come and especially weathering the time of being alone during military era... lots of gushy stuff lol

then i asked him what b-side he liked dancing to the most and he was SO CUTE when he cocked his head and went "b-side?" so it took a moment to get my point across and he was like ohhhh, umm fly me to the moon! and i almost made a total fool of myself reacting LOL bc as some of you know, fly me to the moon is literally my favorite ONF b-side. of all time. and partly due to yuto's center dance break with the saxophone.

yuto was confused but excited when i reacted (like i audibly gasped) and i said omg thats my favorite too!!! and he got so happy and i even proved it further being like, *points to u* dance break center! saxophone! and he nodded a bunch and was so excited lmao

i think he was also surprised at being a favorite, especially when he asked me when i became a fan and i said end of 2017 (which was true i was a fan, but became a stan in jan of 2019) and he seemed impressed! then our chat had ended there and i almost passed out afterwards haha

then we all had to leave the venue again before the concert started. i met a lot of really cool people that day so some of us went across the street to dunkin. had fun lmao

the concert started and my GOD minkyun's mic was on!!!!! and how does he always have so much energy??? also i had the lightstick and was having the time of my life screaming along lol they were fantastic incredible showstopping etc etc i tried to take some videos but i was just vibing (and shaking) too much i had to give up. but it was so nice to finally go to a concert that i had the lightstick for

went into the concert with solid 3rd bias (etion) and came out of it 3rd bias as seungjun lol. theres a lot to talk about song-wise but ill save that for later. in short, i almost cried when they did bye my monster. and tmwl. and byubyu.

also elle i did record asteroid for you (not that its a good video, or one that ill share...) but it did remind me of you lol! they did difficult & moscow moscow which were both surprises to me but very welcome. all day as well was fantastic!

about halfway thru the concert (but not the ballad section) i had given up on videos so i was just rocking out w the lightstick & i pretended to hit hyojins high note with the lightstick as a microphone until someone that i met nudged me & looked up to see seungjun staring at me

it was sooo funny the facial expression he was making. i cant even describe it but once we made eye contact it was like he smiled slowly literally like the grinch and went 'hehe' to make sure i knew he saw me doing that LOL

so i knew i had to get a snapshot with him that showcased the lightstick:

theres so much more about the concert but its all mainly about the songs & the fact i finally saw them live. but i do need to mention the fact goosebumps was practically a rave lmao loved it

after the concert was the group photo selfie which was really cool but would be better if my phones camera wasnt absolute shit & they did a more flattering angle...

dont let this photo fool you, they are short kings (im as tall or taller than multiple of them, minkyun & wyatt are the only ones i remember being taller than me. wyatt was surprising)

i didnt really say anything memorable during snapshots bc i was just so star-struck, but i do remember wyatt going out of his way to be nice lol also i saw yuto multiple times & i was sooo mad there was only a few of us that bought premium snapshot for him. i also got along well with minkyun and highfived him again. i let most of the members choose their poses. yes i got multiple mks. yes i made him do cat ears.

and here are all the others. i got at least 1 type of snapshot with each of the members

anyway tl;dr best day of my life, its only downhill from here! unless they announce another tour... we shall see... im so glad they're getting so much love from fuse, i know we (both onf and fuses) have been waiting for a long time

im also very happy that there really is no reason NOT to have overseas tours... we've already beat the 7 year curse & completed military. the world is onf's oyster and i cant wait to see what they do going forward <3

[the-s1lly-corner]

hey, may i request hcs of laughing jack + slenderman x nonbinary, afab!reader who gets misgendered/bullied a lot but is too scared to correct/stand up to ppl? happens to me a lot :[

laughing jack and slenderman x afab!nonbinary!reader

im so so sorry you keep getting treated like dookie- as a fellow afab nb i totally get your pain with the misgendering, people just need to hush up

notes: reader is afab and nonbinary, established relationships, both canon characters have limited knowledge of lgbt topics but thats mostly because they hardly interact with people or media

cws: transphobia, canon typical violence, mentions of stalking

laughing jack

doesnt get to interact with many people much, so hes a little limited on his knowledge- and given that he originally started existing in the Victorian era? hoo boy- hes not transphobic or otherwise lgbtphobic but there is some ignorance

can see himself as using some labels once he gets more educated on it, though! always headcanoned laughing jack to be gnc!

tries to help you appear more androgynous or masculine if thats what you want! he doesnt mind playing dress up with you, and hes definitely going to take it as a moment to turn it into a game and try to cheer you up!

openly mocks the people who bully you, as well as outright saying that theyre just a bunch of jerks who... dont deserve nice things to head their way.. to keep the description vague

similar to slenderman, hes going to go out and get some vengeance if things get ugly enough

he doesnt like going out without you, hes a bit clingy.. but the sight of you being so distraught really makes his insides coil like snakes.. does not like it at all

even tries to push for you to carry him around in his box so he can just jump and slash anyone who says anything- though thats not a very good idea... would give him away quickly

slenderman

he doesnt understand much about gender, and honestly? i can easily see him being agender, or maybe gender apathetic simply due to him not showing interest in his own identity. he rarely wants to be perceived anyway

despite not knowing much about it and not caring how others see him, he can understand just a little bit on why it matters to you- especially when youre seen as something youre not and harassed for it

rest assured that if he ever finds out someone is harassing you, he will silent them quickly. out right offing them or stalking them over a period of time, the result will end in you having one less person on your back... then two.. then three.. and so on

actually the fact that people seem to either go missing or skip town not long after messing with you makes many keep their mouths shut- and before you even think that might prompt someone to harm you under the guise that its YOU doing it, slenderman isnt going to let that happen

he listens to you if you need to talk about your feelings on it, hes unsure of how to verbally help you affirm your gender identity but if you outright ask him how he views you; he tells you that you pass in his eyes regardless of if you present more femininely, masculine, or androgynously.. though that may be because of his aforementioned limited knowledge on the topic... hes supportive nonetheless!

[tiedsh0es]

im in love with this cowboy au actually. can i know more about oj please. he seems so wacky here and i never see a wacky oj ever /nf

OHH!!!! GET READY BC I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO TALK ABT IT!!! OJ's the leader of this small little bandit group with Light-Bulb and Yin-Yang. Think cartoon lackeys they're super loyal to each other, but all a bit bad at their jobs. For a long time OJ got by without any scratches or cracks in his glass. He thought it was rather impressive- because he's made of glass. No one would ever expect a glass object to be a bandit and survive as long as him! But then one day while he's turned around Paper, the then Sheriff of a town he's attacking, shoots him in the back. Now he has this super ugly crack in the top of his glass. He's devastated. So so sad. But he's like you know what! We did good today! Tries to look on the good side of it all. He gives his two companions a lil speech, praising them for how good they did, holds up a carton of orange juice for a toast- dumps it into himself- And its spoiled.

After getting spoiled he complains for like an entire day. He's SO ANNOYING. but he's sick. So YY and LB put up with it. When they finally get to a new town, he's not really thinking right and gives YY all of their life savings. He tells Yin-Yang to get new orange juice but Yin-Yang is SOOO sick of him that he just has to kick OJ over before leaving to get it. Lightbulb feels bad tho, so she fills him up with some soda they have and Fizzjay is born!!! (Yk how different liquids affect OJ's mood? Fizzjay is like he's on a sugar rush.) Fizzjay and LB steal a carriage, rob a bank, lose the police by exploding a water tower, then he crashes into the store Paper and Silver are at causing another fire and burning all the money..... (forgot to mention but somehow everywhere he goes a fire starts. its rarely even intentional 😭) He challenges Paper to a duel- but then moments before it begins the soda wears off. He realises how stupid it is but its too late! Paper shoots him.

There's also the fact that he and Paper are childhood friends. It isn't until the duel that OJ realises. For a while Paper thought he was dead. OJ disapeared as a child after a fire burned down their home, and he's been a bandit ever since. Now Paper get's that second shot on him, the one in the very middle of his glass (DONT ASK HOW HE DIDNT DIE OBJECT PHYSICS) he's stalled recognizing him and Yin-Yang has to save OJ in the very last minute from a fight from Evil Paper. Currently (since its an RP) We've just gotten back to them. He's being pathetic again. Super sad bc he's got an ugly crack and his Childhood friend is sooo disapointed in him. But LB and Yin-Yang are gunna cheer him up.

[wolfstrong]

I feel so weird I can’t tell if I’m attractive at all like going out for the first time I like … I don’t know like last night two different guys seemed like they were interested in me but they were CREEPS!!!! So I think I kind of offended their egos because they tried to talk to me and I just kinda like. Roasted them and then they were mean to me. Like two men were mean to me last night. So like what am I ugly as fuck. I can’t tell. Straight girls at the club will unprompted tell me I’m cute but maybe that’s just what drunk women say to each other idk. Still have yet in my life my 24 years of living to be complimented by a guy. No guys ever said I was pretty or cute in my whole life !!!! My whole life !!!!!! It’s pretty crazy it’s like okay damn… I’ve been insulted way more by people… must mean I’m ugly! And on top of being ugly I’m delusional because I don’t even think I’m that ugly????!?? I know I should seek validation from guys that’s like pathetic straight behavior and non feminist of me but it’s so so so hard when not even one person has told me I’m cute and I get literally insulted!!! GAHHHHHHH I’m so like. Confused rn. I’m mostly just confused. I don’t know were I can find someone that I can have a genuine connection with. Like obviously I’m at the club so all the guys are probably Gonna be scummy but like where else do you meet people. I have zero validation in my life it suuuccckkkkkkssss it sucks. I feel like I’m never gonna meet the right person and be in a relationship. I’m too mean and weird and ugly. But then at the same time I don’t even really believe that I’m too mean and ugly. I DONT KNOW IM CONFUSED. I have no clue how I’m feeling. Zero clue.

[rewritingcanon]

marauder characters red flags teehee

james: one of them rich, only children who tries to cosplay poverty. like he will live in a share house when he doesnt need to, eat two minute noodles every day when he doesnt need to, complain about his rent when he can totally afford it, and repost sibling media but will tag his friends instead ☠️

lily: has y/n syndrome

sirius: not a surprise to anyone, but he will do the most heinous thing and will say ‘it was just for laughs 🤷‍♂️’ when questioned about it

remus: SO niche but is the type of bitch to run the socialist club and hold meetings but to get in the entry fee will be like $60

peter: type to say “that’s ok. no one really likes me anyways 🚶‍♂️” when he gets rejected (he’s actually being genuine about it…. which is still icky tbh)

severus: no skincare routine, no hair care routine… seriously eating two meals a day and sleeping seven hours a night his idea of self care

regulus: gatekeeps anything he likes and if he finds out you have a shared interest with him…… be prepared for 28 questions to prove you’re a ‘real fan’.

barty: type to scratch his butt and then sniff his hand

evan: type to ask for a whimper audio. or ask for a thug shake.

marlene: would ransack a church. probably would do it during a sermon too

dorcas: purposefully puts on a mommy voice for clout💀💀

mary: you’re ranting to her but she always has to give you advice. and then she asks you ‘was my advice good? everyone says my advice is the best ☺️’

emmeline: will cook/bake you something bc she wants to do something nice for you but everything she makes is literally poisonous and will give you food poisoning (and she manages to do this by accident every time, which is even more impressive)

lucius: would call someone a peasant, and it may seem like he’s just teasing, but he quite literally isn’t. he fucking hates the poor.

narcissa: thinks gaslighting is a love language

fabian: when asked ‘do i look fat in this?’ he just laughs. he wont even answer you. he’ll just laugh

sybill: will think she’s oppressed because people dont like her being a seer 🥺

alice: will offer to cut her friend’s hair and will give them the most ugly ass cut of their life

frank: posts gym workout photos on his ig

pandora: people talk about the ‘2020 cringe era’ but in all truth thats just her rancid personality

xenophilius: is an adult with bracers. his name is also xenophilius 🤮

petunia: is the type to ask in a really scarily angry tone “im sorry, am i boring you?” if you yawn around her whilst she’s talking

gilderoy: would say some insane type of shit when doing his makeup like “mirror mirror on the wall” or something. and be lowkey serious about it. he’s fucking delulu bro.

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)

kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.

also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all

tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?

ive died two times in my life so far.

the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.

the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.

i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.

and then i died again.

this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.

it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning

i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:

im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?

so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.

and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.

i was reborn.

at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:

i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed

i finished about six chapters of my book

i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head

i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked

i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer

i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends

i started focusing on my studies

i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings

dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird

and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.

but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.

and if finding happiness a losing battle?

well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.

[lyra-heartstring]

TW: Mentions of Sh, suicide, Od, racism ( self directed/internalized )

Before i start, the racism part of this is genuinely only to myself. I dont care what race other people are, i just hate mine.

Letter for the boy in the mirror that i wish to kill.

Spending the past 16 years of my life being ugly has been my enternal hell. I have to live everyday knowing im conventionally unattractive and no matter the clothes i wear and the way i style myself ill always be ugly. I have wonderful outfits that i think are really fucking cool or just nice and casual, but the only issue is my face and my skin. I dont want to deal with this shit, i hate my skin tone and i hate everyone trying to tell me to be proud of it. " Black is beautiful "Go fuck yourself, im not and for some reason everyone feels the need to let me know like i havent had to live with this body that i wish wasn't nine. "You're ugly" " who would like you" " you can atleast try to be funny " all of you can die, im tired of you and your fake sympathetic bullshit or the rejections in which i get infantalized bc people dont wwnt to be mean, just for me to find out wbt what they were thinking later. I get it im ugly and i tucking hate my race every issue i have stems in some way shape or form from those 2 factors (gender is another but that's a seperate rant on its own ) and don't give me that bullshit " its just your style " " dress nicely " fashion is a looks thing irregardless of how u want to spin it. Outfits look good because of how the person looks and for some fucking reason nothing works with me. My parents are trying to style me as some proper black christiwn boy, thats litterally the entire opposite of what i want to be. i have to deal with everyone tell me shit like " your outfit looks good", hoping one day they talk about me. " your shirt is nice " what about me?, " your outfit is cute ", what about me?. Ive spent years living as the billshit excuse of a human being with people shoving it down throat that im ugly, but THE SECOND I TRY TO KILL MY SELF OR I CUT MYSELF EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY THE GOOD SAMARITAN READY TO SAVE ME FROM MY TROUBLES. " Im jealous of you ", " i wish i looked like you ", " you arent ugly " I swear to every single celestial being i will rip off the head of the next person who tries to spoon feed me this bullshit. Im the person who is better off taking the photos, the one in the back of the pictures being blocked by people and thanks to my fucking skin tone i looked like some fucked up horror monster in polaroids. Now that its been 16 years of not a single person being there for me, suddenly everyone is some empath and knows how i feel. " i relate " " i understand how you " NO YOU FUCKING DONT, YOU POST AESTHETIC PHOTOS OF YOURSELF WEEKLY, HAVE PEOPLE HITTING ON YOU, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BC U ARE ATTRACTIVE ANYWAYS SO ANYTHING U WEAR IS A " fit ". GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, TRY BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONR IS SUPRISED MANAGES TO DATE SOMEONE, ITS NOT THE SURPRISED OF " we didnt know " ITS THE BULLSHIT SURPRISE WHETE THEY ACY LIKE YOUR PARTNER IS BLIND OR YOU ARR PAYING THE PERSON TO DATE YOU. ITS THAT BULLSHIT SURPRISE YHAT SOMEONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH LIKES YOU. IF YOU EVEN GO THROUGH A PORTION OF THAT THEN MAYBE SAY U UNDERSTAND ME, DONT TRY TO RELATE TO MY STORY WHEN YOUR BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING HIT ON. MY BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING CALLED CREEPY BC I SAID I LIKE SOMEONE, OR A WEIRDO BC I CONFESS TO SOMEONE " i like you " BC ITS CRAZY THAT MY ABORTED FETUS LOOK-A-LIKE SELF HAS YHE AUDACITY TO DEVELOP FEELINGS WHILR LOOKING THE WAY I DO. EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE DO THE SAME SHIT AND ITS A SILLY FUN HIGHSCHOOL EXPERIENCE, ITS FUNNY, AKWARD, ROMANTIC. What i would give to be a different person, different hair, different face, different race, different voice, the amout i would throw away just for that is unmeasureable. To the higher beings i hate you for what you have

done to me, people worship you for what you have fone for them, and im suppossed to join along and be thankful of the gift of life when my life has been nothing but a curse. I hate you for how i look, i hate that everyday i have to find new methods to not think or look into mirrors bc my immediate reaction to commit suicide. Im 16 with a violent hatred towards my face, a waste of space incomplete cell called my body, the urge/desire to kill myself the second i think abt how i look, pure hatred and negativity. I spend all my time cutting because the moment the blade leaves my skin i remember im ugly. The many nights i stare into the mirror with the pills in my hand as i cry for being dealt this shit of a hand from life. I hope for happiness one day but ik that i will never find it nor will i let go of this anger. To the few people reading this

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

i like your writings on gold star lesbian experience. it is so isolating, we are so alienated all our lives and then non-gold stars accuse us of being privileged.

i also tried to convince myself im heterosexual and capable of being attracted to men like u. i would try to imagine myself in a heterosexual romance and tell myself it could be okay. but even the sight of a man in a photo would make it too real for me, let alone the thought of physically interacting with him. so i cant really understand how non gold stars can do any of that. its one thing to think you may be ok with it, but the reality of a male is so diffierent.

even though i never once spoke of being attracted to women everyone throughout school was able to pick up on my disinterst in men and treat me as a freak because of it.

i dont care if the non gs want to talk about their experiences. right now i dont even care if they call themselves lesbians bisexuals pansexuals, whatever. but when they accuse us of being obsessed with sexual purity, or being privileged it makes me feel so furious at them.

i dont understand their double standards. they will say that not sleeping with men and everyone assuming theyre a ugly dyke was so hard, thats why they had to sleep with men. but at the same time they are also claiming that us women who didnt do that are privileged? how can both be true? we endured what u said was too difficult for u? but that makes us more privileged?

its so disgusting. i dont want to say anything and stir the pot because i know 9/10 people are non gold stars. i should swallow my discomfort and take care of everyones trauma. what about my voice?

i have pride in what i am but i am also tired of this. sorry this became more long than i wanted. but ur voice is much appreciated. thank u

Hi anon!

Never apologize for speaking up! You asked "what about my voice", well I want to hear it and other gold stars do too. The isolation and alienation we feel can be so painful, every time one of us speaks it makes things a little bit better because it reminds us that we're not alone :)

Their arguments make no sense, I agree. It's part victimization contest, part silencing us because they know that if we share our experiences, it will be obvious to everyone that they're not lesbians.

And I completely relate to keeping your mouth shut and playing free therapist for the fakebians (who will then tell us to shut up because our lives trigger them). They say that we're the ones destroying lesbian community and creating drama, but I'd argue that accepting fakebians was the first step of the very slippery slope that led us to "sexuality is fluid", "sexuality is a political choice", "non-men loving non-men", men identifying as lesbians, and actual lesbians being bullied even within the community. How absurd is it that we're harassed into silence by "lesbians" for never having touched a dick consensually and never wanting to?

I truly hope that breaking the silence will motivate us to be free from all that guilt-tripping and create a real lesbian movement :)

[spot-splatter-splash]

Alright Im back and Im tired of pretending,

From where I stand, as someone who likes exploring the narrative and especially the characters of a narrative We're lalaloopsy is more interesting to watch than the original series. And as someone whos passionate about design Lalaloopsy Girls was a fun redesign of the franchise.

I realized part of why I dropped the series and took a long break is because of the fandom. The hostility towards anything that tries to be different made me feel like I was walking on eggshells at times. And while I was vocally a fan of some of the media I always worried that being open about enjoying it would cause my peers and followers to turn on me.

People are so quick to let nostalgia talk and convince them that the original was the best version it could be, and I'm tired of just nodding along and saying things I dont mean about what I like to fit in.

The reboots do try to make an effort to improve upon what exists and I feel like if We're Lalaloopsy was given more time it would have gotten its footing. I feel like that need to cling to the past nostolgia blinds people. Not every reboot is going to be perfect but I'm tired of people shooting them down because its different.

IT SHOULD BE DIFFERENT. Churn out the same thing over and over again and it'll get stale. I had more fun watching that stupid movie about them in highschool than any of the originals and I'm heart broken it didnt make it further. I'm Tired of pretending I think lalaloopsy girls is ugly when its literally my favorite peice of Lalaloopsy media.

It doesn't have to be your cup of tea. No one is obligated to like anything. But in the same vein I ended up feelling obligated to hate something because everyone else did.

I'm tired of feeling like people will devalue my opinions or consider me a fake fan of the series for acknowledging what the reboots do well.

I stopped working on my own reboot because of it. I felt like no matter what I did it wouldnt be going enough for the community. That I'd rock the boat too much with my ideas. That by not sticking to the original I was devaluing the series.

Its easy to forget that real people were behind the reboots with likely the same passion as us bloggers. And that they were at the mercy of MGA. They tried their best and had the plug pulled by a corperation before they really got to tell their story.

I'm coming back, I'm not going to pretend anymore. I'm doing this because I am passionate about the series and want to see it evolve.

The reboots were clumsy sure, but they were charming. Nothing is intrinsically bad because its trying to be different.

[orviposition]

I saw someone talking about how with the scenes added in the ebook and with the scenes in the ongoing side story, with emphasis on that one scene where LHH talks about the heroine of ORV, DokSoo might become canon. And while they did mention that they read the side story, I thought that that particular scene pretty much sunk many ships?

oh boy ngl i was a bit reluctant answering this ask but imo this is just fans' wishful thinking rather than singshong walking through a doksoo route.

the doksoo scenes added to the ebook arent really so fundamental to the point that theyre the closest ship to become canon. in fact I'd say that the main reason to make them canon would be that it's a (well-developed) straight ship tbh. in the 1863rd turn, theres an added smoking-on-the-roof scene. kdj tries smoking and immediately has a coughing fit. hsy asks him if she did well in this round. this added scene is a direct parallel to kdj telling her that she did well during the enemy of the story arc

another scene is during kaizenix. yjh and kdj decide to try the romance route and bcs yuri was in love with ricardo, it's kdj who writes the letter "write a story that's for me and me alone" this is also a foreshadowing to what we learn in the epilogue lol. to expand more on kaizenix, we also have yjh telling kdj that his writing skills are terrible despite him reading so much, kdj tells him that with his face he certainly didnt have any problems with courting. yjh then goes on a thinking tangent about how he could not care less about the looks of someone he likes (and we know who is called ugly throughout the book)

as for the lhh part where he talks about orv's heroine (kdj's love interest in this context) he is 100% not referring to han sooyoung. he says that the character he had in mind didnt have as much screentime as the other leads. the main women in orv when it comes to screentime are hsy jhw uriel and ysa. going by lhh's logic and IF his words represent singshong's stance, then hsy is immediately ruled out. i also wouldn't consider jhw for the role either, not only bcs i didnt really see their scenes with a romantic undertone but also why would singshong write kdj's romantic interest love someone else (lhs) romantically?

with uriel, unless you consider kdj/uriel to be a direct parallel to 999yjh/999uriel then i dont think shes The candidate either. now for ysa, im a bit iffy when it comes to her bcs sure she doesnt have as much as screentime as lets say yoohankim but shes also not someone you would consider neglected (like lsh for example) also i genuinely think that romance would undermine doksang's bonds. i think theyre so good BECAUSE theyre platonic

singshong have told us in multiple ways that orv is not a story about a canon romance so you can interpret the ending however you want just dont mis-label the novel's genre (this includes both het and gay romance). plus i just dont think they would shoot themselves on the foot and risk "angering" the largest active part of the fandom (general statement). i dont want to sound arrogant but you cant deny that joongdok shippers are the backbone of orv fandom and joongdok artists have been the only ones to be recruited to promote orv. alter (the official artist before blackbox) is a danmei artist, blackbox is a joongdok shipper, haban (taiwanese release cover artist) has a danmei history, the artist of the simplified cn version release has jd porn on their twitter and so on. certainly singshong are aware that orv didn't get this big bcs some guy recommended it in solo leveling's comment sections

speaking of guys, not every dudebro out there ships doksoo anw, some like doksang, some dont ship anything. the same can be said about the female audience too. not everyone ships joongdok. some ship doksoo, some yoohankim, some nothing thats not canon. im not part of the latest group since i could not care less about a ship's canon status lol

this got WAY too long. if you want a TL;DR refer to the first paragraph