#all based on. icks that i have. idk. couldnt just stop at golden trio and next gen characters could i?

[rewritingcanon]

marauder characters red flags teehee

james: one of them rich, only children who tries to cosplay poverty. like he will live in a share house when he doesnt need to, eat two minute noodles every day when he doesnt need to, complain about his rent when he can totally afford it, and repost sibling media but will tag his friends instead ☠️

lily: has y/n syndrome

sirius: not a surprise to anyone, but he will do the most heinous thing and will say ‘it was just for laughs 🤷‍♂️’ when questioned about it

remus: SO niche but is the type of bitch to run the socialist club and hold meetings but to get in the entry fee will be like $60

peter: type to say “that’s ok. no one really likes me anyways 🚶‍♂️” when he gets rejected (he’s actually being genuine about it…. which is still icky tbh)

severus: no skincare routine, no hair care routine… seriously eating two meals a day and sleeping seven hours a night his idea of self care

regulus: gatekeeps anything he likes and if he finds out you have a shared interest with him…… be prepared for 28 questions to prove you’re a ‘real fan’.

barty: type to scratch his butt and then sniff his hand

evan: type to ask for a whimper audio. or ask for a thug shake.

marlene: would ransack a church. probably would do it during a sermon too

dorcas: purposefully puts on a mommy voice for clout💀💀

mary: you’re ranting to her but she always has to give you advice. and then she asks you ‘was my advice good? everyone says my advice is the best ☺️’

emmeline: will cook/bake you something bc she wants to do something nice for you but everything she makes is literally poisonous and will give you food poisoning (and she manages to do this by accident every time, which is even more impressive)

lucius: would call someone a peasant, and it may seem like he’s just teasing, but he quite literally isn’t. he fucking hates the poor.

narcissa: thinks gaslighting is a love language

fabian: when asked ‘do i look fat in this?’ he just laughs. he wont even answer you. he’ll just laugh

sybill: will think she’s oppressed because people dont like her being a seer 🥺

alice: will offer to cut her friend’s hair and will give them the most ugly ass cut of their life

frank: posts gym workout photos on his ig

pandora: people talk about the ‘2020 cringe era’ but in all truth thats just her rancid personality

xenophilius: is an adult with bracers. his name is also xenophilius 🤮

petunia: is the type to ask in a really scarily angry tone “im sorry, am i boring you?” if you yawn around her whilst she’s talking

gilderoy: would say some insane type of shit when doing his makeup like “mirror mirror on the wall” or something. and be lowkey serious about it. he’s fucking delulu bro.