#i dont really mind that this rooms smaller than the old one its still those other things i complained about that annoy me

[playingonedchess]

how tthe wardrobe in my uni room manages to be so much smaller on the inside ive really got no idea

[froothjuce]

The youtube mobile channel page redesign is fundementally wrong (big suprise, i know) (longe post)

why the hell is the banner in a box. just put the last fuckin vestige of customization we have left in an even smaller box so it looks like shit. fucking of course. its called a fucking channel banner they literally had it put together so it fit to the screen and it looked fine but NOOOO everything gotta conform to their "shove everything in fucking rounded boxes" aesthetic because fuck you and common decency i guess.

so heres the previous layout, courtesy of an old screenshot i took

and, like, this layout works. the spread fits well and acts as a good divider on the header on initial appearance

frankly in general I'm just tired of people rounding edges that really shouldn't be rounded

they did it to the video player on desktop, and i dont care if all you miss is like 15 pixels, its still really dumb just in concept

they want everything to be as bland and inoffensive as possible for the fucking adwords money, and they're applying the same principle to their fucking web design. they are burning our balls off for the insurance money.

this website is the only thing making me realize i'm not taking crazy pills and that literally everything is getting worse in more ways then even most people are talking about.

and you wanna know the fucking cherry on top? of all of this? here's the previous layout before that.

(only image i could find on short notice.)

…thats right. the new layout is just a much shittier version of the older one. like, i could get behind left aligning the icon. cause thats how they do it on desktop, it makes sense, you know?

and double guess, lets go back to the original goddamn One UI layout, the initial "taking the horse of user customizability and fun out back and shooting it to death." inciting incident.

(ignore that this image is like 5 pixels)

THIS IS A BETTER LAYOUT THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW. THE LITERAL FIRST VERSION WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE FUCKING PRODUCT OF THE SHAREHOLDER ROOM THROWING DARTS AT THEIR DICK TO DECIDE HOW TO SIZE THE ELEMENTS.

and i have no doubt in my mind that they're gonna continue to make it worse somehow. they will take every last ounce of customization we have left. because thats what they always do. trust nobody. nothing is ever safe. THIS FUCKING WEBSITE ISNT EVEN SAFE HAVE YOU SEEN THE STATE OF THINGS AROUND HERE? and before you say "oh just use fucking blungovidupload" BUDDY ALL THOSE WEBSITE ARE EITHER FILLED WITH RACISTS OR HAVE AN VIEWERBASE OF LIKE THREE PEOPLE. THERES NO FUCKING WORTHWILE PLACE TO RUN. WE ARE ALL FUCKED. especially me, who was kinda banking on being able to at least hit something on youtube, because i feel like i probably couldn't handle the world as it is without fucking breaking my entire spirit to a depressing extent due to the current state of, like, everything.

its weird to end this incoherent rant on a bleak note, but its true. nothing we do matters in this context. because they hit it big, and they don't care about us. honestly, people say kill them with kindness? i dont get it. we've tried compassion, it doesn't work. i am beyond the need for compassion. i run on spite, anger, and shitposting. at all times.

god gives her shittiest website designs to her most mentally unwell internet history gals

[cinebration]

Too Young (Forrest Bondurant x Reader) [Request]

I’m fine thank you can I describe my request because there is a no word for this at least i dont know I’m 21 so if you include this in imagine i will be really happy i love forrest bondurant he is shy caring strong and little bit mad giant bear a i want it fluffy and little bit angst I thought forrest wouldn’t want to love younger than him. I hope i can tell what i request because english not my native thank you so much again not much forrest imagine i really love this — Requested by @shooterere

This turned into something more than I expected. I had fun!

Warnings: none

Gif Source: fandomfatale

Pa operated one of the smaller bootlegging businesses in the county, but the moonshine he made was worth a hundred of the bottles being churned out by other operations in the immediate vicinity. People paid good money for your pa’s moonshine, though you wouldn’t know it to look at you and your family.

You lived in a ramshackle house on the edge of a farm known for producing one good crop for every five. You had just as many siblings, all of them younger than you, racing around the house like demons and driving both you and your beleaguered mother to wits’ end. So when Pa asked you to make a delivery, on account that the oldest of your brothers was a scant fourteen, and the fact that no one would stop you, you leapt at the opportunity. You put on your Sunday best, though it wasn’t much, and drove the old beat-up Ford truck down the country road into town.

It was there you met Forrest Bondurant. He operated the gas station you pulled up to after you delivered the moonshine. The smell of pie wafting from inside the restaurant behind the station was too good to resist.

He sat alone, his hat resting on the table in front of him. Glancing up when you entered, his brow furrowed as you slowly walked through the restaurant and up to the counter. You ordered a slice of the pie and a small cup of coffee, no cream, no sugar.

“This ain’t the watered-downed stuff,” the waitress told you.

“I know.”

The apple pie was thick and rich with apples and cinnamon flavoring. As you sat eating it, you swept your gaze around the room. There weren’t many people inside, but as soon as you fixed on Forrest, all else fell away. He met your eyes levelly, a frown pulling on his mouth. Tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear nervously, you returned to your meal.

He approached you a moment later, the scrape of his chair back against the wooden floor alerting you to his intentions. You swallowed thickly, working up your courage as your heart fluttered with hope.

“You Frost Farm’s oldest?” The way his voice purred made a shiver roll through you even as disappointment followed it. He wasn’t interested in you, only in who your pa was.

“Yeah,” you answered, looking down.

“What are you doin’ here?”

“Making a delivery.”

“Your pa sends you off to do that yourself?”

“My first time today, but he hurt himself, so I figure I’ll be doing it for some time.”

“How’d he hurt himself?”

“He fell,” you lied.

Forrest’s gaze burned through you. Standing firm, you ate the last of the pie and swigged it down with the dregs of the coffee, the bitter mingling with the sweet down your throat. Excusing yourself, you slipped off the stool and kept yourself from sprinting away to the beat of your thumping heart.

~~

Forrest showed up the next day at the farm. You were out in the field, elbow-deep in the dirt, when the truck engine chugged up the dirt road. You recognized it vaguely as one you had seen parked outside the Bondurant gas station. You didn’t see who exited the vehicle.

Turning back to your work, you yanked out another weed and ignored the beating of the sun overhead.

When your stomach rumbled as the sun reached its zenith, you rubbed off the dirt on your apron and headed back inside for lunch. The truck was still parked outside the house.

As you neared the front door, it opened. You froze in your tracks. Forrest Bondurant stepped across the threshold, bidding your parents goodbye with some mumbled words. He paused when he saw you.

“Mr. Bondurant,” you said, nodding nervously.

He nodded back, putting the hat firmly on his head. His gaze swept over you. You became painfully aware of the dirt across your hands and knees and how it stained your apron and dress.

“I’m taking you for your other deliveries,” he mumbled suddenly. “’Til your pa gets better.”

You blinked in surprise, tried to find words. “Thank you.”

He nodded and stepped past you, leaving you stunned on the porch.

~~

The first few deliveries, made in your truck, not Bondurant’s, passed in awkward silence. You didn’t quite mind it so much, if it weren’t for the fact that being nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with the man was sending your senses quite mad. Not even the Franklin boy from the farm next door had made you as deliciously nervous as Forrest did. Your head swam with it.

But the trips after that improved when you began talking to him. You didn’t say too much, because he seemed too quiet to listen to you ramble on. Rather than complain about your siblings or the lack of help for the farm, you focused instead on the moonshine business.

“I dunno know if Pa told you, but we got into trouble with the law,” you said after a delivery. “They wanted our earnings, but Pa told ’em that we don’t have enough to pay. They broke his leg for that.”

“Were you there?”

“Outside, looking between the slats. I waited ’til they were gone before I went in to help Pa.”

Forrest frowned. “Why were you there?”

“I work the stills.”

He fixed you with a stare.

“It’s nothing,” you assured him. “I like the work, honest. It’s very methodical, and I like that.”

Forrest remained silent for the rest of the drive ’til you neared town.

“Show me,” he said.

You hesitated. “But you’re the competition.”

“I won’t steal your secrets. I just want to see.”

You wanted to show him, to impress him, but the idea of the Bondurants taking over your stills or trying to use your methods nagged at you. The desire to please him won out. You turned the car toward the farm and drove well past it, deep into the woods extending beyond it. Then you hooked a right and stopped the truck.

From there, you walked Forrest all the way down into a small ravine that led to a cave in the hill swelling behind it. The cave smelled cool and a bit damp, but you had remedied that with some techniques to moderate the temperature. Forrest made a circuit of the room, eyeing your still critically as you walked him through parts of your process.

“Figure we could make gin this way eventually, too,” you said, “when they lift the Prohibition.”

He looked at you keenly.

“They’ll do it,” you assured him. “Otherwise we’ll have ourselves another war.”

He grunted noncommittally and took a swig from a nearby bottle, testing the quality of the moonshine. The soft light from the oil lamp you had lit bathed his face in warm golds. Caught up by the vision, you reached out and gently touched his cheek.

He froze, turned woodenly to you. The guarded look in his eyes discouraged you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“You’re too young.”

“I’m twenty-one.”

He shook his head.

Frustration welled up within you. You glanced up at him, your hand clenching into a fist at your side. “Too young. Too female. Too fragile. You sound like every other man I’ve ever talked to.”

He blinked in surprise, taken aback by your sudden emotion.

“I can do more than you think I can, and I’m not that fragile. I’ve had to grow up fast, because Ma’s too weak and Pa’s not got enough boys yet to help him.” You grabbed his hand suddenly, pressed his palm flat against yours. “Feel that? I don’t have soft hands. Those are working hands. When I’m not in the fields, I’m in here, making the best goddamn moonshine in the county. I don’t have time, you see, to waste on being young.”

Forrest stared into your face as the wind died out of you. You turned away, suddenly embarrassed by the outburst. “Get out of my workshop.”

He didn’t even hesitate. He walked right of the cave. You waited fifteen minutes before realizing that it was rude to let him walk all the way back to town on foot. You raced to the truck and drove down the road until you found him lumbering across the dirt. You drew up beside him and wordlessly opened the door. He hesitated before climbing up into the cab.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

You felt his eyes on you the entire drive, as though he were trying to keep you rooted to the spot. At last, you arrived at the gas station.

“You don’t come with me on deliveries anymore,” you said.

He didn’t get out of the car. “Who else has said those things to you?”

“What things?”

“About you being too weak.”

You shrugged. “Everyone. Probably your own damned brothers, for all I know. ‘Waste of a pretty face, making that girl work the fields. She ought to be providing a family.’ But I like the work. I like working.”

The cab filled with silence as Forrest stared out the windshield at the dark restaurant. Exhaustion settled in your bones from the emotional outburst and the pain of rejection.

“If you worked here,” Forrest said suddenly,” your hands wouldn’t be so rough.”

You frowned. “But I don’t work here.”

“I could get someone to work for your pa on the farm,” he continued in a low rumble. “And you could work here and your workshop.”

“Are you offering me a job?”

He grunted.

“Why?”

He shifted uneasily on the seat. “To keep you around, if you won’t let me make deliveries with you.”

The pieces didn’t quite fit together. “Why would you want to keep me around? I’m too young, you said.”

“I did,” he agreed.

“Then why?”

He fixed his eyes on you with a look that said, Do I really have to say it?

You met his gaze for a long while before slowly nodding, feeling something like hope flutter in your chest again. He nodded back, grunted quietly, and wished you a good night as he climbed out of the car.

[katsukikitten]

A harem collab in which we go to a party with our v precious hero 18+ Smut boooiiii

Sitting across from him never did get easier. As much as you told yourself it would. 

If anything it got harder and harder to share the same room as him, let alone air. 

But you were lucky enough, or unlucky enough, to join the agency when you did and to be partnered with your big time crush FatGum. Although you idolized him you were sure he didn't remember you. 

And how could he? He saved countless people a day so it should be no surprise that he had no idea who you were on your first day. Still, it stung. 

And it shouldn't still sting or come to a surprise when he sets down a flyer on your desk. A huge smile on his chubby cheeks as he taps the sheet of paper.

"Can you believe it?! The agency is throwing a new year's eve party!" He practically gushes, lingering by your desk with his intoxicating smile. He rummages in his brown bag, setting breakfast onto your desk careful to avoid getting grease stains on the flyer as if you'd hang it up one day instead of shoving it into the trash. 

"They have one every year." You shrug, thanking him for the breakfast but tossing the paper into the trash can. His smile never waivers as he pulls it from the fresh bin, returning it to the smooth wooden top. 

"Yea but not at a fancy hotel and never an open bar! We should go!" His eyes crinkle in the corners and your heart hammers in your chest. 

Little do you know he prays to the Gods you don't say no. 

"I dont know, it's such short notice. Like next week ain't it?." At least it wasn't a no. He smiles, thinking of your competative behavior. 

"Oh I see what it is." He takes the sheet from your desk, waltzing to his own, "You're scared."

"Tch, scared of what?" You hiss, snatching for the paper. 

"Scared I'll out drink you!" He laughs at your cute scowl as you size him up. His metabolism was insane, and with him being in his larger state you might not be able to win. 

But he didn't have to know that. 

"You fucking wish you could out drink me! Remember the last party we went to? You showed your age and could barely stand!"

"Oi! I was much thinner then. I think luck is on my side this time." He slaps his belly and you smile. A genuine laugh fills the room causing Taishiro's heart to clench. 

"Yea, yea." You wipe away a tear, "We'll see." 

The day drags on and on, turning into a week of you glancing his way. Making sure he wasn't gaining any extra weight as he brought you your normal breakfast daily. 

It wasn't until the day of the party did you gain the advantage, a fight almost turned wrong and Taishiro had to use majority of that stored fat for a deadly punch to stop the villain from terrorizing the city. 

Still you'd never want this type of advantage just for a stupid drinking contest. Although he was not at his largest, he still had a considerable "dad bod" going on. 

"I still can't believe they had a tux in this size so late!" Taishiro shouts into the locker room at the agency, adjusting his tie as he waits for you. Meanwhile nerves eat you alive as you stare into your reflection, wondering if this dress fit okay, smoothing the fabric over your stomach self consciously. 

"You okay in there? We're gonna be late." He calls softly, hoping you aren't having second thoughts about going with someone like him. 

"Coming!" You call back, glancing at your deep amber dress a final time before rushing into the hall. 

"I was just thinking you were going to forfeit and then I-" Words die in his throat and he drinks you in. Beautifully complimented by the shape and color of your dress as he mouth hangs agape. 

"Wow. You look…" 

"Tai, I know, I look...different." 

"Amazing, perfect, breathtaking." He gives you a pointed look, "Which is no different than how you normally look." 

Heat creeps up the back of your neck and you're thankful he misses your flustered expression. The walk to the hotel and the brisk cold air gives you time to not only cool off but think.

Really reflect on the year, this horribly rotten, all bad luck year. Reminding you of all the times you had failed but also reminding you of all the opportunities you had missed. And not opportunities in the sense of promotions or saving people but opportunities to get closer with a certain somebody. 

You glance up at him and he glances down at you, smiling in a way that sets your skin on fire and yet it makes you feel at ease. 

Slowly you were coming to hate it. 

"I'm excited that they decided to invite some smaller agencies. Means I can introduce you to some of the kids I interned. Well I guess they are adults now huh." He looks nostalgic, sad even as he stares into space. Opening the door to the large hotel and it the look sticks with him until he is just before the party doors. 

"Ready?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." You huff as he places his hand on the small of your back, bringing you into the rented ballroom. Lights and sounds consume your sense as music dances around light conversation. You're beginning to wonder if a drinking contest was such a good idea that is before you see the CEO of your agency totally shit faced. You glanced down at your watch, it was only 8pm. 

Taishiro guides you around the room with a "starter" drink, introducing you to old and new faces. Beaming with pride as he introduces you as his partner and not his sidekick like other heroes had done in the past. You hated how much your heart raced. 

"And this is Kirishima! He was one of my best and most memorable! Kids got guts and heart in spades!" He slaps Kirishima on the back and the young man slumps forward with a sharp toothed smile. 

"Aw come on, I wasn't that great…" He scratches the back of his head. 

"I heard that's when you became 'unbreakable'! I think that's so cool!" You gush over the young hero complimenting him to no end. 

"Stop. You'll give me a big head." He smiles, blushing furiously before his eyes wander to the closeness of the two of you and then they settle on your drinks, "You're not trying to out drink the infamous FatGum are you?" 

You laugh loudly before leaning in close as if to share a secret. 

"Oh, yes and I plan to kick his ass." 

Kirishima returns your smile and stage whispers 

"Taishiro-sama has lost a good bit of weight. I believe in you!" He winks before someone across the room calls for him, "Call me when you get really started!!" 

Two hours pass and you find yourself sitting across from your partner with his sleeves rolled up. Showcasing those deadly forearms as he slams back another shot. Kirishima keeps tally on hotel stationary and announces the number of shots. 

"You'll have to take five to be in the lead! You'll have two minutes to decide to forfeit or-" But before he can finish you're grabbing for one of the prefilled shot glasses. 

"Kanpai!" You shout, slinging them down, ignoring how the room is spinning and how bright the light reflects off of the table full of empty shot glasses. 

Kirishima's eyes widen as you down an extra shot for good measure, tallying the booze count with worry.

"Fat hero." He says, almost gritting his teeth, "You'll have to take seven to be in the lead." 

The large hero leans on his forearms on the table, the alcohol he's had had mostly been processed and maybe your figured that out. That he was starting to lose his edge so he takes you up on the challenge knocking back the several shots as if they were water. You're eager to gulp down a few more praying it drowns out your feelings for the sexy man across from you, instead he lets his broad hand hover over the shot glasses. Silently giving you a reprieve and noticing just how much you're sweating, how blown your pupils are. 

"Let's give it a minute shall we?" He smiles as you drown in his golden eyes. Biting at your lower lip and with a defiant grip you swallow down a final shot.

"Your turn." You focus hard to make sure your words didn't slur, not wanting this feeling or night to end. He snorts, shaking his head wishing you acted out any other time than this. 

"I forfeit." He places his hands up and you glare at him as you wonder if he did it on purpose. Before you have the time to accuse the crowd erupts into a deafening cheer, the room lags as you try to place names with faces as they come close to congratulate you. As more and more people crowd you, the hotter the room feels. Politely you excuse yourself to an enclave balcony closing the doors tightly behind you as you gulp down air, desperate to cool off and douse the desire that burns hot in your belly seeping to your core. 

"Fuck." You rake your nails through your hair as a hit of icy air skates along your skin leaving goose flesh in its wake. A steady warmth comes from behind you, voice deep as he speaks softly. You can tell he's using the same tone he uses on victims, trying not to startle them with his size. 

Little did he know how much you loved how much bigger he was. A safe haven, protection embodied. 

"Ready to go home?"

"No I'm fine! Perfectly fine." He sucks his teeth at your stubborn reply, leaning in close with his hands in the pockets of his tux. 

"You look flushed...you seem out of it." 

"I'm totally of sound mind!" A bark to which he laughs, giving in to the liquid courage as his large hand tilts your chin towards him. Flirting with a line he swore he'd never cross. 

"Yea, if you're so sound of mind, would you let me do this?" He asks, leaning closer, lips almost brushing yours. Your breath mingles with his in little puffs of fog agaisnt the cool air and suddenly you're burning again. 

From the inside out.

His lips touch yours, gently, passive at first and if he's trying to fight against his urges. Slowly he breaks away, amber eyes glued to your mouth before he sighs. Hoping he didn't just fuck everything up. 

In an instant you're drawing him back to you, hands in his golden wheat hair and your fingers weave through the strands. Mouth opening and demanding more as his large hands grip onto your ribcage as if you'd float away. 

And maybe you would, you felt like you could. 

Frantically your hands demand more, exploring up his shirt, touching across his stomach and digging your nails down his back. His own hands follow suit, gripping at your ass and tits, memorizing every luscious curve until he is drunk off of you and you only. You moan into his mouth and with that he loses all restraint. 

Shoving you against the harsh brick building, fisting your hair to tilt your head for better access, exploring your mouth with his well skilled wet muscle. Hands trailing beneath your dress to find your dress, squeezing at your thick thighs and when you moan in approval he moves higher and higher still until his fingers brush against the damp fabric. This time it is his turn to groan as he presses his hardened cock against you, your hips move to grind against his large fingers. 

"Please Tai" It is soft, breathy, sending him into a frenzy as he gives you exactly what you want. Letting his fingers slip beneath the fabric to gather the slick between your folds, gently rubbing against your throbbing clit. You arch against his touch, exposing your neck to him, he leans over and bites. Placing kisses along your throat, making sure to be careful enough to avoid marks before his hazed brain causes him to speak. 

To confess. 

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do this?" He asks, plunging his fingers into your tight heat, stretching you as you mewl, "Ever since I first laid eyes on you. Kamisama you were perfect. And tonight. Fuck baby. Wearing my eye color for all to see. You want people to think you're mine?" 

"Yes, Taishiro. I want people to think I'm yours." You moan, fucking yourself on his fingers before he takes over. Setting a quick pace before he curls his thick fingers just right, in an instant you're creaming against his digits. Crying out as he overstimulates you before he covers your mouth with his broad hand, reminding you just how much he dwarfs you.  

It makes you cum again and again and he corners you against the wall. Cock twitching as he laps up your sinful faces with a gluttonous appetite. 

"Please Tai, pleeeasse." 

"What's wrong baby? My fingers not enough?" His cocky tone drives you mad and your hips buck against his touch before he withdraws from your heat. Panting he levels his gaze yo you. 

"Is this what you want?" Peppering you with kisses as if you could deny him and his godly hands.

"Don't make me beg Tai…" You rasp, he gives a devilish smile. 

"Then I won't." His hands slink up your dress, gathering it at your waist as on skillful finger pulls the overly damp underwear away from your soaking sex. He frees himself and you swallow, not realizing just how large he was, for a moment you worry you won't be able to take him. 

"I'll be gentle." He coos, easing himself in an inch at a time as your stretch around his thick cock. Pussy fluttering as it adjusts to his size, he gathers your legs to his sides, squeezing your hips to keep from rutting into you roughly. He pistons his hips slowly, watching your face contort as he angles himself just right. Sensual thrusts have your legs and pussy squeezing him so deliciously tight. Still he worries he's going to hurt you.

"You okay?" Alcohol lingers on his breath and you swallow him whole with a kiss. Moaning into his mouth softly as he rocks you into one of your most intense orgasms to date. It's a slow build, undeniably intoxicating as his steady pace hits your spongy soft spot and his pelvis rubs against your clit. The coil in your stomach snaps and your body clamps onto the behemoth of a man tightly, stars dot your vision as he continues to fuck you through it. 

"God you're so beautiful ya know? So responsive to my touch. Taking me so well baby." He purrs against your ear, "Makes me want to keep this pace all night." 

He keeps true to his promise, bringing you to new heights at the steadiest of paces, causing you to lose count of how many times you've cum on his length. Pussy attempting to milk him dry as he palm swallows your screams. He looks at your features, your makeup running from delirious tears, mouth fallen opened in a propetial O as your hair clings to your skin. 

"Kamisama you're like art." He kisses your quickened pulse, "Ready for me to fill you love? You're squeezing me so tight…" 

He groans and all you can think of his him and the searing pleasure that courses through your veins to settle in your over sensitive heat. His cock twitches and you want nothing more than to be stuffed full of the Fat Hero's fat cock and his cum.  But words are lost in your hoarse throat and all you can do is nod, moaning his name as if it were a prayer. It's all the encouragement he needs, quickening his pace as the crowd inside grows louder. Counting down from 10. 

It's all lost to you and his hips snap against you, the brick scraping against your shoulders as his grip on you becomes so tight you're sure you'll bruise. Your body hyper aware of every little sensation as you drown in pleasure and warm amber sun, he groans, painting your walls in hot ropes of cum, your vision spots as your body arches to meet him as your spams a final time while his lips crash to yours. 

All the while fireworks erupt over head, bringing in the new year on a literal high note. 

He huffs, sweating as he looks at you, still buried to the hilt. Swiping his thumb over your cheek and running mascara before he breathes out so gently. 

"Happy new year baby." 

[laddieseddiemunster]

The Lost Boys x Reader Who Has A Pet

Sorry that I haven’t been posting very much. I have two posts that are sitting in my drafts and they’re probably going to take some time to make. One is an ask and the other is an idea I came up with. By the way the anon who gave me a request about a 13/14 year old reader that the boys accidentally turn, I’m sorry that your request is taking so long. If you’re reading this then I will get your request out soon.

David

david doesn’t hate animals. no matter how much they hate him. it really just depends on the animal though. david likes animals mainly for protection. not so much for loveable purposes. that’s kind of the reason why he’s not too fond of marko’s piegons. how are those feather friends going to be able to protect them if hunters come after them. that’s right. they won’t.

you had kept your little secret from david for a while. it was until he offered you to move into the cave with him when you realized you were going to have to tell him about your secret. when you told him about your pet he wasn’t too upset about it. he was more upset about the fact that you didn’t tell him before. depending on what the pet would be, this is how it would go:

if it’s a dog that’s big or a puppy that will eventually become big then david has no problem with it at all. they could use a hound for protection anyway. of course, he wouldn’t change the dog without your permission, but he might have to anyway. since animals can sense a vampire as danger, your dog doesn’t really like david. so if you don’t let him change the puppy into a hellhound then it’ll just hate him. david would probably end up changing the dog anyway, since he doesn’t want a good protector dog to hate him.

if it’s a small dog then it’ll go differently. david doesn’t hate it. he just wishes it was a bit bigger. how is this little thing going to protect you? it’s just there for playing and cuddles. and david plays, but he doesn’t cuddle. (unless the other guys aren’t around). eventually, he’ll warm up to the little guy. especially when he sees that it makes you happy.

cats are a completely different story. david isn’t a cat person. it’s not because the cat can’t protect him. he just doesn’t really like cats. he’s definitely the type of person/vampire that’s never had a cat but says they’re mean little creatures. it’ll definitely be something he’ll have to get used to. the only thing he doesn’t mind about having a cat is there is a possibility the cat could kill some of marko’s pigeons. david won’t tell marko this, but sometimes those birds get on his nerves.

pets that live in a cage (birds, hamsters, rabbits, ferrets, etc.) he really has no problem with. if it’s a hamster or something similar, he’ll occasionally let it out of the cage since it can’t really do much damage. for some reason david likes watching it roam around for a little while before putting it back in its cage. if it’s a bird then david won’t complain, but it’s just another feather creature to add to marko’s collection. same goes with a fish. it can’t get out of the tank and bother him, so he has no problem.

if you have some sort of reptile (snake, lizard, turtle, etc.) it really goes in the same category as a pet in a cage. it can’t get out and mess with his things so he doesn’t mind. if you have a snake then david will be pretty impressed. most people hate snakes yet you have one as a pet! he’d always hold it in his arms while it slithers to feel the scales. your snake will end up being his pet too. he just cant get over how cool it looks, and that you aren’t afraid of it.

Dwayne

dwayne considers himself an animal person. size doesn’t matter to him. big or small they all deserve to be loved. he hates the fact that they can’t really have pets since most animals hate them. he doesn’t remember the last time a dog even got close to him without barking. dwayne is a fan of any animal with fur. he loves to pet them and cuddle them even though he hasn’t gotten that opportunity in decades.

you kept your pet a secret from him mainly because you didn’t know how he was going to react. you’ve never seen him interact with an animal, so you just assumed he didn’t like them. when dwayne found out about your pet he was quick to let you know that he had no problem with animals. then he had to explain the whole animals dont like him story to you. depending on your pet these would be his different reactions:

if it’s a big dog then he has no problem at all. he grew up with a dog so he already knows how to take care of it. since the dog probably won’t like him he’ll want to change it to a hellhound, but if you don’t want to then he’ll just try to win over it’s trust. once dwayne has the dogs trust he’ll treat it as if it was his own dog. he’ll take it on walks at night with you, and totally spoil it with toys. since the dog is big and can protect you it gives him one less thing to worry about. if your dog ever saves you from something, dwayne will treat it like it’s the best dog in the world.

small dogs basically fall in the same category as big dogs to dwayne. they’re just smaller. he likes small dogs because they’re easier to carry and cuddle with. dwayne won’t admit it, but he loves to cuddle with a furry friend. if it falls asleep on his lap or chest he will not move. he will wait for it to wake up. another reason why dwayne likes small dogs is its a good playmate for laddie. the boy is small and so is the dog, so it works out for both of them.

surprisingly, dwayne has no problem with cats. he thinks that the whole dogs are for boys and cats are for girls is bogus. they weren’t made for a specific gender, so who cares what other people think. he’s aware that cats are a bit more difficult to gain trust of unlike dogs, but he’s a pretty patient guy. if the cat doesn’t like him at first, then he’ll wait for the right time. dwayne admires how close you are to your cat. one time he saw you and your cat asleep together while cuddling, and he couldn’t think of a more adorable sight.

if it’s an animal that lives in a cage (birds, hamsters, rabbits, ferrets, etc.) he’s pretty interested about it. dwayne has never had an animal like that other than marko’s piegons, but even then he doesn’t really know how to take care of them. he’s eager to learn though. if it’s a bird then he’ll try to gain its trust. he’s always wanted to hold a bird on his finger. if it’s a fish then he’ll buy food for it, but he’ll be a little disappointed since he can’t really hold it.

pet reptiles (snakes, lizards, turtles, etc.) are on a different road for him. he’s not afraid of them, but he’s just more on the cautious side. the last thing dwayne would want is for your snake to bite you or hurt you in some way. even though the snake isn’t venomous, that still doesn’t stop his worrying. he also doesn’t want the snake to scare laddie. he’d feel terrible if the snake got loose and scared the poor kid. other than that lizards and turtles are fine.

Paul

paul likes animals, but he also likes to bug them. so when he was human, animals didn’t really like him, and obviously they hate him as a vampire. after a while he missed the affection that he received from animals even if they didn’t like him. at least they went near him. now they don’t at all.

when you told paul that you had a pet he was pretty eager to meet it. he also wondered why you kept it a secret in the first place. you told him it was because you didn’t know if he liked animals or not. he explained to you that he did like animals, and that he wanted to meet yours as soon as possible. paul does have a preference towards animals, so this is how it’d go depending on what pet you have:

if it’s a big dog or a puppy that’ll become a big dog, paul will want to gain its trust as soon as possible. he doesn’t want the dog that you love so much to want to tear him apart. he’ll start by giving it loads of treats and bones from people they kill. you’ll have to tell him to take it down a notch because you don’t want your dog to gain a lot of weight. paul would want to change your dog into a hellhound mainly because no matter how much he tries the dog still doesn’t like him and he’s getting impatient. if you let him then he’ll turn your dog right away, and they’ll become best friends.

small dogs are a little bit different for paul. they’re so little and all he wants to do is get on it’s nerves. after bugging your small dog he starts to realize that the dog has more reasons to hate him now. he won’t ask to change it into a hellhound because a small dog won’t really be much protection. so the only way to win over the dogs trust is for paul to use some mind tricks, and that’s exactly what he does. paul does learn the hard way that you can’t be too rough with a smaller dog. he gets a little disappointed when he can’t play fight with it.

if you have a cat then paul will actually want to get to know it. he’s never had a cat and he wants to know why everyone says they’re annoying. when he finds out that cats aren’t annoying and they’re just moody he’s kind of relieved. at least he knows that the cat isn’t staying away from him because he’s a vampire. paul had to be patient with the cat and that’s one thing he’s not. if that cat doesn’t start liking him after some time he’ll get disappointed and give up. you’ll have to help him get on your cats good side.

if it’s an animal that lives in a cage (birds, hamsters, rabbits, ferrets, etc.) with paul half the time it won’t be in the cage. he can’t help but want to take it out of its cage and let it walk around. if it’s a bird he can’t exactly do that unless it’s wings are cut. he can’t exactly play fight with any of these pets, so he’ll just help you take care of them. if you have a ferret then paul will sneak it into star and laddie’s room to scare them. after a while it won’t work because they realize it’s just a ferret and not a rat.

if you have a reptile (snakes, lizards, turtles, etc.) he’ll be pretty surprised and a little nervous. paul won’t admit it but the thought of living with a pet snake isn’t something he wants to do. of course he won’t tell you that because he doesn’t want to seem like a chicken. if you have a lizard or a turtle he doesn’t mind, but a snake...yeah he’s not a fan. he doesn’t understand how you can just live with something that could kill you. even if the snake has no venom that doesn’t stop paul from staying away from it.

Marko

marko has made it pretty clear that he has no problem with animals. he’s already befriended all of the pigeons that live in the cave. no matter how much david and the other boys complain about the bird poop everywhere, marko still somehow has them. he even has names for all of them and he can tell them apart. they’re now his family and he will be upset if one of them goes missing or dies.

when you tell marko that you have a pet he’s really excited to meet it. marko pretty much likes all animals, so he doesn’t really care if your pet is cute or not. all pets deserve love. marko has introduced you to his pets, so now it’s his turn to meet yours. depending on the pet this is how it’d go:

if you have a big dog then marko will treat it as if it was his own. the only dog he could really get to know is thorn, and even max’s dog doesn’t like him too much. even if the dog doesn’t like him sooner or later it will. marko has a way with animals. even though he’s a vampire he somehow gets any animal to like him. it could be mind tricks, or it’s just a gift he has. to your surprise your dog didn’t just like marko, it loved him. it was like it happened overnight. all of a sudden your dog was following marko everywhere, and laying its head in marko’s lap when he was sitting on the couch.

small dogs in marko’s eyes are no different from big dogs. except they’re smaller and easier to hold. he knows that he can’t be too rough with a small dog, so he’ll start by trying to hold it and if that doesn’t work then he’ll give it some treats. of course, the dog usually accepts marko’s trust pretty easily since every animal loves him. marko is pretty good at knowing whether your dog is sick or needs something. somehow marko just knows the look on the animals face when it needs to be taken care of.

you have a cat? well, now you might not. when you first told marko that you had a cat he was excited at first, but then he realized something. he has birds, and you have a cat. marko likes your cat, but it cannot visit the cave. he will not risk the idea of the cat eating one of his pigeons. if you do move into the cave along with the cat, things will be a bit hectic. marko will be constantly checking his piegons to see if one is missing, and if one is then he’s going straight to your cat to see if it’s eaten one. if your cat did eat one of his piegons then say adios to your cat. marko will not let it live there.

if you have a pet that lives in a cage (birds, hamsters, rabbits, ferrets, etc.) marko is eager to learn how to take care of it. if it’s a bird then he obviously already knows exactly how to take care of it. he’ll attempt to have your bird get to know his piegons, but they probably won’t like each other since they’re different birds. if you have a hamster or rabbit then marko will never let it out of the cage. the last thing he would want is for you to loose your pet in the cave, and most likely never see it again.

if you have a reptile (snakes, lizards, turtles, etc.) for a pet then marko would be super surprised. especially if it’s a snake. he’s not afraid of it. he’s just surprised that you aren’t. marko would hold it in his arms and scare star and laddie with it. if he manages to scare one of the guys then he’ll tease them about it until they die. a lizard pretty much goes the same way. marko loves to hold it and feel the roughness of its skin. he can’t exactly scare anyone with the turtle, so he’ll just help you take care of it.

[wolf-with-a-pen]

Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door Part 1

TW: Death, Unreality, Swearing, Main Character Death, Angst?

Masterpost, Next

Tell me if I have missed a trigger warning, ask if you would like me to tag this with anything, and I hope you enjoy.

If you don't like any of the triggers above, this is sort of a prequel so you can skip to Part 2, unless you don't like angst, then it is even worse.(Edit:Looking at part 2 its worse, and you don't lose many of the above so just dont read it I guess.)

Word Count: 3962

FOR EDWARD it was a normal day. Well as normal and as close to a day as you could get in heaven. Everything merged into one- nobody knew how long they had been there, and nobody could know unless they saw the passing of the days in the simulation they called "Earth". There were few who remembered, and even less you could approach or talk to without putting yourself in danger. Edward was not one of these. They were unable to see Earth- or even anything other than the blank canvas created for the angels to roam, a few small civilisations created by the guardians for those who were more homesick the only solid thing on the landscape. Nobody knew why it was that way. Nobody dared ask. Everyone ignored it, hoping that it would not hurt them. It didn't for the most part. But then you could say the same about the Guardian Angels.

Cruel and soulless were the most common words used to describe the Guardians, and they were right on one count- they had no soul. Most people didn't remember the personalities of the people before due to most of the Guardians being the originals. The few that weren't were the first few to arrive from the simulation, to what they deemed to be "heaven". And so, the simulation continued. Even after death. The few that did remember the Guardian's original selves were so withdrawn you could not find them if you tried. They were the only ones that knew what happened to turn all of the people like that. But they refused to answer, they knew something that was so dangerous, if they told someone they would die. So, they didn't. Everyone wondered. Nobody realised that they would find out. Nobody could have predicted it.

It was the 4th of May. For once Edward knew that. But then, every now and then they paid a visit to one of the old ones. Just to visit, check in on them. Most knew one or two and how to find them. Some became friends. Some of those searching disappeared. It was the way it was. No, the day was definitely the 4th. He remembered that vividly - who could forget with what happened that day. It started as per usual- with Ansel being an idiot as usual. After being abruptly woken up, they managed to shout a few swearwords to get him out of their room, and laid back down. Well, as well as you can when you and your bed is soaked. “Again?” they thought clambering out of bed and heading into the bathroom. “I guess it’s one of the downsides of siblings.” For Ansel was his younger brother- not by much mind you, but he still enjoyed pranking and annoying his sibling at any chance he got. Edward didn’t really mind. Not that much. Sure, he was a pain, but they loved him more than they would admit. Once they managed to dry themself off (for the third time that week) they got dressed, and ready. One of the downsides of heaven is every surface is blank and almost certainly not reflective- nobody knew what they looked like except from other’s perspectives or how they remember what they looked like on Earth. Edward died long enough ago they forgot what they looked like. They didn’t mind though. It doesn’t really matter when you’re trapped in a void.

“Idiot,” Edward reprimanded jokingly, ruffling Ansel’s short wavy hair.” If you weren’t my brother you would be dead by now.”

“Is that a threat?”

“So what if it is?”

"You know you won't win Mx Long Neck. "

"Don't be so sure Mr Witch Hazel. "

"Now you have done it!" Ansel smirked, running head first into Edward, knocking him to the ground with his force. Within minutes they were both laid on the floor in a pile on top of each other, exhausted and looking rather dishevelled - no serious wounds beyond some of Edward's pride (as predicted, he lost). It would heal pretty quickly. It always did. Well, usually.

"You win this time, but I will win eventually. That is a warning." Edward threatened, smiling.

"Maybe, but not any time soon."

"Don't be so sure." Edward replied." You ready to go? "

"Yeah, just need to put the gifts in the basket."

"OK, I'll help. "

They stood up, Ansel springing to his feet, Edward taking more time.

"Hurry up, the quicker we leave the quicker we can see Jojo"

"Excited are we?" Edward teased.

"Of course I am, we only see him once in a while."

"Come on then, we've got a Jojo to meet."

It was an hour later they arrived, gifts and food in tow. It always took too long in Ansel's opinion, but that was the way Joseph liked it- to live on the outskirts of society. His house was out of the way, and cosy looking, almost like a cottage. It was short and thatched - similar looking to a Victorian house but in cottage form. Outside there were plentiful flowers, almost always in bloom. Having no seasons did have its benefits. Gardening was always easy and possible. Plants always looked healthy. Jojo (as his friends called him) took this to his advantage. A quaint little chimney was always spilling out smoke, even when the fire was off. Edward always felt at home and loved the little place. It always reminded them of their childhood home. Joseph himself, was an older man- he had managed to live until his body gave up of old age. It showed on his face- it was slightly more weathered and worn than some of the others and he looked like he had seen a lot. Despite all this, when he entered heaven he was reverted back to closer to how he looked when he was most happy, therefore he had the appearance of a teenager, twinged with some of the feature of an older man. He wore a wide brimmed hat on his mop of dark brown hair, which framed his emerald eyes. Always, he would wear on a short sleeved shirt with long trouser shorts.

Quickly, they walked up to the front door, eager to see one of their few friends- most people couldn't handle their personalities. Knocking, they heard Danny, Jojo's grandfather's childhood best friend and Great Dane begin to bark: clearly he was as excited to see them as they were to see him. Before Joseph could even get to the door, Danny had managed to open the door- one of his many talents- and jumped up at the pair, resting his paws on their shoulders and giving them a thorough 'hello'. "Hello boy," Edward murmured, in the way all people do when talking to animals and children. "I've missed you too.

"Danny! Let our guests come in! I'm sure they don't want to stand in the doorway all day." A familiar voice rang out, Danny instantly obeying, running back inside and sitting by the sofa. "It’s good to see you again, although the gap was a little bit longer than last time. Anyway, come on in, we have a lot of time on our hands, and a lot to catch up on."

"Thank you Joseph, " Edward replied, always polite as possible.

"Thanks Jojo," replied Ansel who was not.

Both entered the house, bringing the gifts and placing them in the hallway, before entering the living room and sitting down. It was how they remembered it. The sofa was opposite a brick looking fireplace and against the wall of the old wooden stairs, which lead to the front door. In front of them was a rug, square and red on the wood floor, with an armchair at each end. To the left was door, leading directly to the dining room, and to the right was a window, with an immediate view of the garden and the void around them. The rest of the house was a mystery to them- they didn't need to go in there so they didn't. Ansel secretly wanted to but he was sensible enough to not try to sneak around and see what Jojo was hiding.

It was a few hours later when he had asked. “What day is it Jojo?” Ansel inquired, “I assume you know.”

“Of course I know,” Jojo replied, unfazed by his straight to the point nature,” but do you want to come and see for yourself this time?”

“Would I!”

“If you wouldn’t mind it Jojo, I think we would both like that,” Edward inputted

“Sure, I don’t mind. Come on let’s go, heel Danny.” Jojo commanded, standing up and heading for the door. Danny sprung up and followed, looking expectantly at the pair of brothers, both of whom were excited, once he had caught up to his master. He knew he wasn’t his original master, but knew he was as close as he would get, and adopted him as his own, obeying every command. Edward and Ansel followed close behind as they set out on their trip. Once they left the house, Jojo warned them not to touch anything over the other side and not to get too close or it would alert the Guardians to their presence. They both agreed not to. Only one would remember. Carrying just a small picnic they set off, covering large amounts of blank flat ground in just a short time- they went through areas they had never seen before, met some people in the other civilisations before finally arriving at the final outpost, an intimidating tower and wall separating heaven, hell and earth. It was one of the only textured buildings in the entire place and was a distinctive shade of mauve that instantly drew the eye. At the front it had a window not dissimilar to that of a drive-through.

“Brought your apprentices this time Joseph?” questioned the guard, an intimidating but polite woman from within the window. Behind her was a smaller person, attempting to hide behind its short bob length hair, wearing clothes most of the angels wouldn’t dare wear (although they are allowed to wear anything, most avoid black and darker colours due to guardians not liking them). It was wearing a black shirt with a lilac ascot and black jeans. Edward hadn’t seen anything like it around the area, and for some unknown to them reason, found that comforting. They ignored that thought.

“Yes, I have,” Jojo replied, turning to Edward and Ansel. “Edward, Ansel, meet Biff and behind her is Isi, the recordkeeper for all of the people who cross the border. Isi, Biff, meet Edward Longneck Smith and Ansel Caitlyn-Rose Smith."

"Pleasure to meet you," Edward stated.

"Hi!" Ansel exclaimed, "You look cool!"

"Thank you," Biff replied, "it's a pleasure to meet you too."

"Hi," Isi timidly replied. "It’s nice to meet you. We don't usually see new faces around here. I have marked you all down, you can go through now if you're ready."

Joseph thanked them, before moving to the door and turning around. "Come on you two."

Edward and Ansel followed quietly.

Across the border was nothing like they were expecting or had ever seen. A spherical plain room, bright white on one side (the side they came through) and black on the other opposite them. In between those two sides, were the realms the demons and angels watched over, one that was instantly recognisable to them as earth, and about 3 visible other realms that none of them could name. Ansel was left speechless by the wonders he saw- a rare occurrence- and both could barely believe what they saw in some of the other realms. But most of all they saw themselves. For the first time in what seemed to them forever, they could see their reflection in the sphere.

Both studied themselves, memorising their appearance, knowing they might not get this chance again. Edward had a medium brown mop of hair, slightly curly and quite long, especially in comparison to Ansel, whose hair was shorter and a light copper brown, though it was still wavy. Both had brown eyes – Edwards a startling bronze-amber colour, Ansel’s a more chocolate brown, but still had an amber undertone that couldn’t be ignored. One thing Edward had remembered is why they got their nickname- Longneck. Both had normal necks, but Edward’s was slightly (honestly, quite a bit) longer, and to them it was noticeable. Ansel’s face was rounded, but Edward noticed theirs was slightly more defined. Looking down, they saw their clothing: white jeans and a grey button up shirt, with a pair of fairly plain dark grey trainers, that looked pretty worn.

At this point, they looked back to where their brother’s reflection was, only to be met by the abyss. “Look Longboi, it’s Ash!” They heard from behind them. “And she’s visiting our graves!”

“Wait, really?” Edward blurted out, shocked that it would show them someone they knew, and that they actually remembered them. Quickly, they turned on their heels and sprinted over to where Ansel was now stood, staring intently through the sphere. “Wow, it really is her.”

“I know, didn’t she hate us at one point?

“Yeah, but once I died I watched her and they appeared to regret what she did.”

“That’s good, she finally understands her actions have consequences, and not everything is about them.”

“Yeah. Shame she didn’t learn it earlier, I wouldn’t have objected to being friends with them, her personality was nice when she wasn’t being an asshole.”

“I noticed that too.”

Down below Ash was crouched down, placing flowers on the two graves next to each other. Their eyes were a similar shade of brown to Ansel, but her hair was a much darker brown and straight, cut at shoulder length except for a centre parted fringe. Black was all they were wearing, I mean it is typical of people to wear black when in mourning or to pay respects, but it was a change – most people hadn’t seen her in anything other than bright colours, and the two had never seen her in anything so not revealing as what they were. Instead of her old show-all-the-skin-possible outfit, she was wearing a dress, still short but more concealing, and it was simpler than the outfits they remembered. “I am sorry. I hurt you, and why? Just because I was jealous. I apologise for all I did to you, and I promise in the two years you have been gone, I have changed.” Ash stated.

“Only two years?!” They exclaimed, surprised at the lack of time they had spent there.

“Yes, only two years.” Jojo answered.

“Wow.” Ansel murmured.

“I forgive you,” Edward stated, towards Ash despite knowing that she wouldn’t hear. They turned around and begun to study the other realms. “Can you tell me a bit more about these realms I haven’t seen Jojo?”

“Of course Edward, which do you want to start with?”

Ansel had zoned out at this point, drawn towards the portal to Earth. “It wouldn’t hurt if I go through it. Just for a second to tell Ash we forgive her, and then come back. They wouldn’t notice, I mean they are distracted.” Ansel thought. He made sure that nobody was watching, before tentatively stepping through the portal. Quickly he said “I forgive you” and left before Ash could notice he was there. When he got back, he saw Ash looking around her, before quickly leaving, spooked by his voice. He saw Edward looking and knew he was in trouble, but not how deep he was from that one small action. I mean, it was harmless, wasn’t it? He re-joined the group and acted as if he had been there the whole time.

When Edward has a chance to confront their brother, it was an hour or two later- Jojo had walked them through everything he knew about the 4 realms, or as much as he was able to in the time they had, and as such left them no time to talk to him. It was on the way home that the had a chance- Jojo led them to a park before heading home to get a picnic for them, as a reward for accompanying him. “Why did you disobey him? He said not to touch anything or go into the other realms.”

“I don’t know why, I just felt drawn to it in a weird way.”

“I believe you, you wouldn’t lie about something like this, but just be glad that nobody else saw, if you were found out, you would be in massive trouble, not just with Jojo, but with the border guards and also possibly the Guardians. Be more careful. I don’t want to lose you.” Edward lectured, but that sort of lecture you know is for your protection- the kind that you know is sensible and are likely to follow.

“I promise now, nothing like this will ever happen again.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the “day” was pretty peaceful and happy- they ate the picnic, played a bit in the park, and traipsed home, dropping Jojo and Danny at their home, before starting back themselves, taking their time for once. That was one of the good things. And one of the few things Edward would remember. However, to Edward that walk felt like agony. They had a feeling that something very, very bad would happen. The kind that can’t be averted, only postponed.

Once they got home, they could already tell something was wrong- for one, the door to the house was unlocked and open despite being locked when they left. Second the note taped across the entire doorway was kind of a bad omen. Only one group of people communicated that way. If you received one, you were unlikely to return. Ever. Edward signalled for Ansel to stay where he was, before carefully walking towards the house, stopping just about where they could read the note. “Ansel Caitlyn-Rose Smith must come to the Guardian’s temple as soon as possible.” Edward instantly felt fear flood through his body, adrenaline joining it shortly after. “Ansel, they know!”

“Wait, what?!”

“They! Know! Ansel! They have summoned you!”

“No, they can’t. They can’t can they. So that means..?”

“I’m scared that the answer to that is yes.”

“No, I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t want to become like them.”

“I don’t want you to become like them. Not now, not ever. But if you don’t go it may be worse for you. You may end up gone with no hope of recovery. It is better you go and face the current consequences than disobey further and get punished worse. I am sorry, there is no way out- they can track you through all of the realms. I can’t promise you you’ll be safe, but I can promise I will find a way to fix this place, and save you, even if it kills me.”

“Alright. It makes sense. I still don’t like it. But it makes sense. Can we spend some time together before I go?”

“Yes, Ansel, want to go inside and watch some TV before you go?”

“Please.”

It was at this point they both trudged indoors, attempting to keep how fearful and emotional they were from each other, because both of them knew that Ansel would be lucky to make it out alive. That was the guardian’s way. Both knew this. The tension was thick enough you could cut it with a knife. If Ansel wasn’t so worried, he probably would have tried. But he didn’t.

“I am going with you,” Edward insisted.

“You sure?” Ansel tentatively asked.

“Nothing could dissuade me.”

“Thank you Longneck.”

“You’re welcome Witch Hazel.”

They set off, through the village. All of the people had seen, all of them knew one or both of them had been summoned. Most looked with pity. Or anger. Or disappointment. Or all of them. Or none of them. But they were all there. Watching as they traipsed into the distance. Wondering if anyone would come back. Wondering if they did come back – would they still be the same people.

It took a long time to reach the Guardian’s court. For the siblings, not long enough. Anything to drag out the experience, the walk up to the place they may not return from. It was a towering Parthenon-style building, built in glowing white and much larger than it needed to be. At the entrance stood 2 statues of what they presumed to be some of the different interpretations from the different realms they ruled of what an “angel” looked like. As they got closer they realised they were not statues as such; they moved and talked as if they were alive. Once they got to the door, they tried to enter the building, but failed. The angels stopped them. Pointing to Ansel, they boomed “Only he may pass.”

“I guess this is where we part.”

“I guess it is.”

“See you on the other side.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Ansel murmured, before crossing the blockade created.

“Ansel, I’ll miss you,” Edward spoke out loud, as they watched him disappear from view.

Normally, Edward would have stopped there and waited, but today they felt braver than usual. Probably because they knew their brother was at risk, but they decided to return the favour of doing something stupid and reckless. Guessing from the way the angels were made, they were unable to move, and so as long as they stayed out of range of them, they could sneak in through the side of the building. Making sure the angels believed they were walking off, back where they came from, they circled around to the side of the building, gaining a view of inside the building. All of the guardians were in a circle around Ansel, who was looking rather like a deer in the headlights. Most of the people Edward didn’t recognise, but one they recognised from visits and checks on the village. The one thing the guardians had in common- their eyes were pure white, no pupil or iris. Apart from that, they were anyone. All different ethnicities, ages and genders. All different. All to be feared. Edward watched on as they all linked hands, creating a barrier around all of them, one that they could see, but not touch or get anywhere close to. Glowing white tendrils surrounded all of them, snaking threateningly inwards- towards Ansel. Eventually they all linked together forming a bubble around him that gradually shrank around him, disappearing from view, before bursting back out again. Only this time, the bubble was filled with a glowing ball of light, that blinded anyone who could see it. It disappeared into the sky, leaving Ansel laying on the floor.

Intimidatingly, a creepy voice boomed “Now you have lost your soul, rise Guardian Ansel and join us.” The body on the floor, snapped open it’s eyes, revealing a lack of pupil and iris, with a chilling look, before calmly standing up and facing the voice, which Edward could not see the face of. Floating, the new Guardian made its way into the crowd, joining it in standing to attention. “Now then, go find more suitable candidates, we need to expand the army if we want to destroy earth and hell. Soon, all of the realms shall be ours, and nobody will be left to fight back.”

“Yes master,” replied all of the Guardians in union, instantly setting off to perform their wishes.

Edward couldn’t look anymore, and they knew if the guardians found them they’d be in trouble, so they turned and left. Alone and hurt. No family left.

[xbellaxcarolinax]

Forging A Heart (Ivar the Boneless) 14‐ Propositions

Pairings: Ivar x Artemis (OFC)

Word Count: 2775

Warnings: None.

13- Wessex

...

It was the first time Artemis witnessed the funeral traditions of the northmen. One of Floki's ships was used, and Sigurd's body was carefully placed inside, along with his lute and other items of his that he may take with him in the after life. 

He appeared to be sleeping. His hands rested gently on his stomach, his sword placed in his lifeless grip. His flaxen hair was braided beautifully, revealing a face of tranquility. It was as if he hadn't met a tragic end. 

It was the second funeral she has witnessed in two days. Two innocent lives taken so easily and brashly.

Ivar had tears in his eyes, real tears of guilt and anguish that he fought to hold back. Surrounded among the others, he looked utterly defeated and lost, two things that Ivar never dared to express. Bjorn, Hvitserk and Ubbe mourned, their features stone cold. The ship Sigurd peacefully rested in was set to sail, engulfed by an arrow of fire as it trailed down the river Thames, away from his family.

There was complete silence after that.

The crowd erupted into low murmurs and slowly departed, leaving Artemis to stand next to her troubled master. He sniffled loudly, turning his red rimmed eyes to look at her before glaring and crawling away hastily into the settlement.

He needed time on his own.

...

"Floki has left." 

Ivar crawls into the forge, eyes red lined and watery. He throws himself into a corner like an old sack, his chest rising and falling rapidly from his rage, and perhaps from crying. Artemis was alone, much to his relief. Arvid was nowhere in sight, and Ivar felt more comfortable to drown himself in his self pity in her presence. 

She sits on a stool far from the the dying flames of the hearth, working in silence. She quickly acknowledges him with a glance before continuing her work sharpening a mighty sword belonging to King Harald. 

"Did you hear me?" Ivar demands, "Floki has left! He has left me!" He chokes, lowering his face into his hands, defeated.

Artemis frowns, pausing her use of the whetstone to take pity on him. Floki was the only other person who regarded him as more than just the boy who couldn't walk.

"I've heard of his departure," She answers softly, "He mourns his wife. I mourn her too." Ivar sniffles, noting her sad eyes. She was indeed mourning.

"Where has he gone?" She asks him.

"Somewhere," He chuckles bitterly, "Anywhere. I dont know." He picks up a random stone beside him, chucking it across the room, successful in knocking down a few tools. She jumps, the noise startling her.

"They are angry with me, all of them." He mutters, keeping his eyes low. He was not wrong. His brothers regarded him with a cold shoulder now. What Ivar viewed as an accident looked deliberate to the rest. 

Artemis listens as usual while he prattled on with his excuses. She never really did care for his excuses, but she did sympathize for him.

"I did not mean to do it, surely they know that." Ivar continues, turning his eyes to her again. Her silence bothered him immensely. She too hadn't uttered a word to him since the disastrous feast.

"Have you nothing to say?" He growls, manuvering himself to settle directly in front of her. He springs forward, using a hand to place it atop of hers, stopping her movements. She swallows thickly, and their eyes meet.

Something about her eyes spoke volumes, causing a fluttering feeling to invade his abdomine.

"Last I spoke out of turn, I was beaten." She finally says, her tone bitter. This was the last situation she should give an opinion about. 

Ivar huffs, snatching his hand back and crawling away from her in favor of looking out towards the crowded land that once belonged to King Ecbert. 

"I did not mean to kill my own brother." Ivar didn't turn to look at her, but his tone said it all. He was pleading for someone to believe him, even if it was his slave, "Surely, you believe me?" Still no response. 

"You may speak freely." He says after moment.

"I believe you let the anger get the best of you." Her words were cautious as she continues to run the whetstone down the length of the sword. Ivar grunts, running a hand down his face in frustration.

"Tell me the truth, Artemis, tell me what you really think." He hisses, swatting away a happily chirping bird that dared to land near him.

She sighs. Fine.

"I think you sometimes forget he was your brother. You took his life without thinking. It is shameful."

"Sigurd made me do it! He was always tormenting me, you know this," Ivar let's the words out through gritted teeth, "He hated me."

"You tormented him as well," Artemis points out, placing the whetstone to the side and inspecting the sharpness of the blade with her thumb. It was ready to go back to King Harald's waiting hands, "But he did not hate you." Ivar tears his eyes away from the calming nature of Wessex in favor of glancing at his slave. She sheathed the sword back in its place, focusing fully on her crippled master.

"He liked you, you know." Ivar mutters his eyes glazing over with emotion. Artemis knew what he meant by that. Sigurd made his attempts, but that was all in the dust now, burned alongside his body. 

She bites her lip, looking at him with those damn eyes. Ivar still had no idea how she did that. 

"He painted you to be very willing." He says, struggling to contain his growing anger. She scrunches her nose in obvious distaste.

"I thought Prince Sigurd kind once," She begins, pushing her hair away from her face "It did not mask his envy well." Ivar snorts, giving his head a shake in disbelief.

"King Harald will be leaving soon. May I take his sword to him?" Ivar makes an odd guttural sound, as if he wanted to say no, but nods his head in approval.

He quickly grabs a fistful of her trousers as she steps out, and she lets out a surprised yelp as she fought to keep her balance. 

"I did not believe him," Ivar mutters, his eyes pleading, "About your willingness." Artemis clutches the sword to her chest, giving him a quick nod.

"He...I will miss him." He whispers brokenly.

After a few seconds of fighting an internal battle, Artemis lowers herself to her knees beside the grieving prince, her fingertips gently grazing the skin of his hand.

"May the Prince rest in peace."

...

"Does my brother treat you well?" 

Bjorn asks, eyeing the cross that peaked out from her bodice. The gold had a slight shine to it, and reminded him of the cross his late father use to carry around in the days he'd seen him last. Artemis casts him a lazy glance before continuing her work. She places a leg on the ancient well for support, using her strength to pull the ropes to retrieve the bucket of water.

"He is decent." She grunts, hoisting the bucket tightly in both hands. Bjorn moves to help her, snatching the bucket from her small hands with such ease that it made her roll her eyes. She never really cared for this particular Ragnarson. He annoyed her greatly.

"That isn't necessary." She says, knowing perfectly well she was capable on her own. Bjorn didn't listen, continuing down the short path he knew she'd take. Artemis follows behind him, realizing she had forgotten how large he was in stature. She barely made it to the height of his chest.

"I have a proposition for you," He says, stopping to place the bucket near the entrance of the forge. 

"Proposition?" Going to grasp the bucket, Bjorn stops her in order to get her full attention. Her brows furrow, but she allows him to stop her, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"As you know," He begins, "I plan on returning to the Mediterranean." He takes caution in speaking low.

"I am aware." 

"I think it will be an advantage to bring you along. You speak the languages of the east, you can be a translator while we navigate. Does this interest you?" 

It steals her attention immediately. It almost sounded like a dream. She ponders the idea.

"You cannot expect me to aid you in raiding my people." She counters.

"We will just be exploring," Bjorn says with a cheeky smile, "It is merely an adventure, an exploration of your world and of the old gods." She narrows her eyes at him, not too keen on his answer. She doubted Bjorn planned on sailing to the Mediterranean without the intentions of raiding.

"Well? Does this interest you?" He repeats.

"It does," She says after a moment, "But what's in it for me?"

"I will allow you to go back to Crete," Bjorn says with a shrug, "Right my wrongs. It would be as if you never left."

Artemis licks her dry lips, her mind immediately conjuring an image of an angry Ivar.

"Ivar would not allow it." 

"No," Bjorn agrees, "You are of value to him, but there is no need for him to know. Think about it." He leaves her with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. 

She wonders if she should trust him. Bjorn was a mystery of a man, but he promised her Crete, and that was all she wanted.

She sighs, bending to grasp the bucket of forgotten water. Hoisting it up, she returns to her duties, feeling Arvid's eyes on her. He stood there with a pensive look, as if trying to read her thoughts. She realized he's eavesdropped on the conversation, and that look was enough to know he had opinions.

"Don't." She says, walking past him and into the heat of the hearth. 

"You must be daft," He mocks, watching her place the bucket on a stool. She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt before getting to work.

"Do you think you can just leave? Ivar will kill you!" Artemis ignored his prattle, already growing accustomed to the useless babble of men. She doesn't grace him with an answer, moving to work on Ivar's smaller weapons.

"Artemis!" 

"What!" She drops the hammer with a loud bang against the anvil, causing Arvid to wince at the noise, "What have you to say?"

"You're thinking about leaving with Bjorn." 

"I've been far from home for long enough." Arvid crosses his arms over his chest like an angry child. 

"And you trust Bjorn?" He hisses, slowly approaching her.

"He is the of a man you and your people came to fight for. Should I not trust him?" She hisses back, "He offers me an opportunity." Artemis glares up at him, gripping the hammer tightly.

"You risk your life!"

"Then it is a risk I must take. I've no purpose here."

"You do not realize how lucky you are," Arvid scoffs, "You are treated well. Most slaves cannot say the same."

"So you wish for me to stay with the Prince then? Is that it?" Artemis feigns confusion, "I think you say these things for yourself. You do not realize how selfish you sound." Arvid sputters, mouth going slack and brows arched high. He turns away from her when he had no retaliation.

"This does not concern you." There was a finality in her tone, enough to express that she's had enough of the conversation.

Arvid had never witnessed her anger before. Her demeanor was strong willed, and he knew there would be no way to sway her thoughts. He didn't want her to leave. It was quite selfish of him, really.

Looking at her angry eyes reminded him of Ivar's.

...

The brothers bickered until they decided their next destination.

York.

A prominent city not far from Wessex, York would be their next conquest. Ivar was dead set on invading more land, while Ubbe was against the idea, wanting to settle down and work the land given to them. In the end, Ivar's charisma won everyone over, and plans to attack York were set into motion. 

There was so much talk of the grand city, that Artemis was almost sad she wouldn't be seeing the splendor for herself. But the last thing she wanted to witness was another city destroyed and covered in blood, just as the monestary has been desecrated months ago. There were more important things to worry about. 

It hadn't been an easy decision for her, surprisingly, as the obvious choice would be to leave with Bjorn if she wanted the slightest chance of seeing home again. But something was terribly off. It was a nagging feeling that tortured her to no end, like the discomfort of pins and needles over her skin. The nagging told her it was a mistake, that leaving would cause her more strife than peace. 

Artemis just wanted it to stop.

She thought she hated him. She wanted to hate him. 

The stupid cripple bastard.

He was dangerous, and he was everything she was taught to stand against, yet she realizes she slowly pined for him like a lovesick girl. 

Everything about Ivar was wrong, and yet her little heart told her otherwise. When was she to realize she harbored warmth for a hostile pagan? So what, he showed her a bit of kindness and that was enough to have her swooning? It was an embarrassment! Even now as she sat alone thinking to herself, her cheeks were dusted pink and she covered her face with her hands at the realization.

Prince Ivar. 

She liked him. 

"Shit." She mutters to herself, tugging at the roots of her hair in disbelief. Perhaps Ivar was right, she was weak as a baby bird.

Veikr.

It didn't matter. She has made her decision, and she chose Crete. If Bjorn was a man of his word, then she will reach her home and be reunited with her father in no time. In a perfect world, everything would be as it was.

The army was to leave to York in the early hours of the morning and Bjorn was set to leave the night before. Artemis had taken everything she thought she would need, though she struggled to leave Ivar's cloak behind. After debating with herself a hundred times, she leaves it, folding it neatly over her work station

She peeks out from the empty forge, eyeing all of Bjorn's men gathering around their ships for departure. 

She takes in an even breath. The nagging feeling returned, telling her Ivar would be furious. Ivar would be enraged, but she doubted he'd search for her across the seas, not when he and his army has been successful in England. Besides, she was sure he'd forget about her in time, she wasn't worth the trouble.

Tossing her satchel over her shoulder, she mutters a prayer and kisses her cross before taking quick steps toward the docks. She immediately spots Bjorn and Halfdan, chatting away while men around them placed items into the ships. 

She could almost taste the salt in the air, and she breathed in the winds of the mighty sea, her heart thumping erratically in nervousness.

But she didn't get close enough. 

She stops, a blunt blow over the head knocking her to her knees. For a mere moment pain bloomed over the afflicted area before her eyes rolled back.

...

The throbbing pain brought her back into conscience. 

Noise attacked her sensitive ears, the chatter of men, the sound of boots scuffing up the dirt, the laughter. It was too much.

She groans, feeling her body tumbling in the tight corner she was in. Once her head slammed against something, she forces her eyes open. Her vision was blurred, seeing the smallest hints of sunlight and shadows before blinking into focus. 

Immediately she recognizes Ivar's buckled legs. This was no ship bound to the Mediterranean. She was stuffed into his chariot like cargo. Bringing her hands to the base of the chariot, she shifts her body just enough to peer above her.

Ivar was livid. 

His jaw was clenched tight and his nose flarred. A hand held onto the reigns, the leather slapping loudly against the mare's back. His other hand was tightly gripping a familiar lump of fabric over his lap. 

He brings his glaring eyes down to look at her, his lips set in a sneer.

"You forgot something." He spits, roughly tossing the fabric onto her face. 

His cloak somehow still smelled of fresh pine.

...

@heavenly1927​ @didiintheblog​ @rastakami23

[a-trying-writer]

cap stuff, because i want some happy juice that im happy to make for myself.

as i often wrote before, cap loves to pet kosch, but she also loves physical attention herself. no one knows why, not even herself, but she enjoys it. sometimes she purrs or sighs and/or sleeps on the person petting her. racter does this often to get her to stop having anxiety for a time, much to duncans chagrin.

cap is definitely a big eater, but she doesnt have an iron stomach like gobbet. still, the two do challenge each other over meals, and sometimes tries to pick each others meals, like uneaten fries or wings. more often than not, this leaves to a utensil fight, from chopsticks to forks and spoons. more often than not, no one wins, because they had spilled their meals.

cap enjoys challenging is0 in the matrix, even tho she knows that is0 is a master compared to her. she is kinda envious that is0 has huge servers in her room to do whatever she can, while cap has to rely on outdated software that she does try to tune up, despite the risks of it breaking. cap’s computer is also just a brick, but its still p useful. is0 doesnt mind helping her update it, tho some of the pieces dont fit the casing of the computer, so they have to do some further digging.

cap sucks at writing haikus, but she enjoys listening to gaichu recite them and japanese poems and books. tho she doesnt speak the language, she learns about some phrases and how they are valued in his culture. on a different note, being aware that he needs to eat people to sustain himself, she does feel very uncomfortable by it, due to her childhood trauma as the game states for seattle, which applies to her, but she does sometimes help hunt down the worst kind of people for him. otherwise, she minds her own business and stays away from that.

being siblings, cap and duncan are p cool with each other, sometimes getting into fist fights to practice, tho she is much smaller and lighter than him, ofc. he still helps her get better, even if she cant get the hang of it properly, buts its only for her to be safe than sorry. they also watch trideo programs together when they are bored, and joke around about it. esp around action flicks and dramas. (cap hates dramas funny enough, so she only watches them with duncan.)

cap enjoys hanging around heoi, to talk to some of the residents, or party in club 88. she is an awful dancer and singer, but its a blast. she also helps reliable matt with his drones by fixing them, thanks to racter teaching her. and while she doesnt approve of him using a chip to keep up a facade, she lets it be as long as it doesnt cause any harm. she also jokes around by calling him “beautiful” in return for all the times he said it to her.

since she is a decker much like is0, cap spends time around max law to scan through his wares, while bantering with him. she tends to forget he is a lot older than she thinks, so she tends to treat him like a younger brother or kid, before remembering that lil fact. they also talk about the journey to the west novels, and various adaptions, like video games, because of his boat that is referenced to the monkey king.

cap is p chill with ka fai family, and as i said before, enjoys partying in the club. tho, sometimes, if she becomes too rowdy, henry picks her up and drags her out where duncan waits for her to bring her back to the dowager empress. duncan is never surprised, but is often disappointed.

on a funny note, cap is frightened by both kindly and bao, so she never dares to enter the mahjong palor. the same could be said with crafty xu, but for a different reason. she adores xu, but the smell of sage gives her migraines and reminds her of her time in prison. otherwise, she does like to take a sneak peek at some of the books xu sends to her, and often talks about gobbet’s particular ways of cooking.

cap finds ambrose the most mysterious, given that what he says about himself, may or may not be entirely true. but at least he helps her and the crew a lot by supplying them with medicine. ofc, since she is sometimes up to shenanigans that leaves her with a few injuries, he is the one she always goes to, or has to go to, no matter how much she tries to assure the crew that she is all right. esp when she gets sick.

on a side note, tho it isnt canon to the game, but in my stories, cap often speaks to lucky strike, because of their relations to racter, and cap’s own past. there are some things lucky keeps secret, esp about bleak, caps old friend that went missing, if not had passed. its also hard for cap to hide that she finds lucky very attractive, but she believes its because some of her mannerisms reminds her of racter. thing is, she always has been attractive to the dangerous ones, much like how she was attracted to some of her exes in the past.

least to say, cap never really had a healthy relationship. but it is what it is, living the kind of life she has.

there are some things about lucky and cap that i might explore in the future, as i feel there is a lot of potential there, esp given her attitude in srd. but i need more dialogue refs of lucky to capture her character for them. im not too big of a fan to get back into srd, but ill be glad to do it for those refs, and other things, so i can get a better idea on how to write her. but this is a huge if.

[maybe ill write some rac/cap/lucky bits, because im starting to ship lucky and ract, but i deeply loathe the love triangle trope. and i never like the idea of cheating relationships, plus, ract did say that leaving their old crew made lucky hate his guts to the point that she was howling for blood. im not one to write unhealthy relationships unless there is a point to it. i also keep thinking its canon for some reason, but racter cant connect with someone like that, tho i do think its entirely possible for him to had slept with a few people, lucky included... hm. i guess it depends on how i feel about it... sometimes, tho, i feel like im obligated to write it too. like, is this what people want? i wont lie, i did touch up on this sort of thing before, but only between lucky and cap, but it was entirely consensual between cap and ract to allow her to spend time with lucky. and cap is something of a saucy individual. im okay with poly/open relationships, only because its the best alt than cheating couples and stupid love triangles... tho, in this case, i assume lucky nor racter connect with people like that. well, i appreciate any thoughts about this, tbh. i know i wrote about it before, this sort of thing, but what are others thoughts on this case? will it be okay for me to leave the relationship just between racter and cap, or put lucky into the picture as well, given their history? or maybe just keep lucky as a side character that is not afraid of speaking her mind to cap, about how things go in heoi and how racter may just leave her like he did before.

honestly speaking, id much rather let racter deal with cap only, instead of getting into something intense with lucky. ive read too many stories about unprompted hate kisses and rebounds, and i want to do something that isnt that. i just worry ill disappoint people... tho i have no reason as to why i do. i just feel that this is something i *have* to do, if that makes sense.

sigh i rambled on for too long. sorry. i just dont want to write any sort of hate s-x based things. it bothers me a lot. idk.]

[theplumsoldier]

NO KISSES

Summary: y/n is a guest at the red sea diving resort and is down to fuck the hot guy in the reception. also again i tagged some sweet people that i thought might be interested—do let me know if you are not, i dont wish to inconvenience anyone. as always, feedback is most appreciated!:)

Pairing: ari levinson x reader

Word count: 3227

Warnings: smut, vulgar language.

Truly and in all certainty, the man behind the counter had to be created by the meticulous hands of God himself—hell, if that was not Jesus standing right there in trunks and a buttoned-down shirt you swore the Earth might as well be off and be flat. But then again, religion was ancient and so was that bird-brained belief, and the man you had come to know as Guy, he too appeared to belong to the ‘archaic’ variety of men who had caught your interest.

He was not old. You did not think so, at least, still, he certainly was the kind to age with grace, much like wine and although you never had found yourself able to appreciate a good glass, this man seemed to be the ideal type to drink a bottle with.

Chest hair peeked from behind his open shirt, a fine glow that the sun had left on his skin made the beads of sweat glisten so beautifully in the yellow light. The Magen David pendant hung in swaying motion from his neck and you had to curse yourself for imagining it jumping from his chest while he pounded into you. Undoubtedly this was a vacation and you were going to have fun now that you finally were single, only you could not imagine this was a vacation to him, this was work. As a woman working in a bar, you were widely familiar with those late-at-night-attempts to get some, and therefore you had more respect for both Guy and yourself than to hint towards the conspicuous sin.

The hour was late, and the resort deserted. You figured most had gone to sleep or were out by the beach for a late-night drink, considering there were few places in the vicinity providing leisure of that kind. The friends you were at the retreat with had retired to the bedrooms you shared. As the day had consisted of little besides ample writing, you were nowhere near tired enough to sleep and the humid weather did nothing but make you toss in the sheets.

And that was why you had yet to join your friend, thinking it better to leave her be to doze off while you could tire yourself out some. So, sitting in the foyer, you were leaned in over papers, some with and some without writing, a pen spinning between your fingers and half a bottle of exotic, combustible liquor.

Guy had been wandering about for some time, disappearing and reappearing every now and then, taking care of his late-night resort business, you supposed. The next time he was away was a little while longer than the last, making you wonder just what he was occupied with, missing the sight of his fine figure.

By the time he returned, you were too caught up in your paper to take notice of his approach. However, once he cleared his throat your head lifted and you could not help but smirk at the cocksure man, holding a pot of coffee and two cups.

You leaned back in your seat, pushing at the chair opposite you with your foot under the table, gesturing for him to take a seat. “I was wondering when you were going to stop playing hard to get.”

Guy let out a laugh on took you up on the invitation.

“I hope it’s that paper keeping you up this late and not your room,” said he and tilted his head curiously to the side, as if asking a question and you caught on.

“Oh, no the room is very accommodating. It’s really just my friend’s snores that are rather offensive.”

“Ah,” Guy chuckled as he got comfortable, pouring the coffee and speculated what it would feel like to have a large man such as himself to pin you down, or in good hap, pound you, even. “Mind my asking what you’re working on?”

“It’s an article. About the prosperous lands of the African savannah.”

“Really?” ticked he, nonplussed.

“No. At this point, this—” you held the smaller stack of papers into the air, “is just a bunch of zany scribblings of a drunk. You know, it was my friends that picked this place and planned the whole trip. Just, like, a getaway, ‘cause apparently their actuary- and retail jobs are so fucking stressing, and I got curious, you know? Of all the places in the world, they settled on Sudan. I mean, now that I’m here, this is nice, I guess, it’s nice! But they must have spelled something wrong somewhere and fortuitously got us shipped off to this desert, and—shit, I’m sorry, I’m maundering.”

Guy held out a cup for you. Accepting, you leaned over the table and you swore your heartrate increased the moment his fingers brushed yours. You almost knocked the bottle of liquor over when you pulled back, cheeks flushed.

“No, please—continue. I have been wondering what brings people so far out.”

“Well, to begin, your brochure was extremely tantalizing,” deadpanned you and inhaled the smell of the steaming java. “Also, I figured heck, so I did some research about Sudan and ended up on some wild goose chase, somehow stuck on fucking Mossad.”

Candidly, your words ignited a spark of fear in Ari, his azure composed eyes widening for a split-second, though you did not take notice of the change before he shifted and regained composure. Circumspect he observed you warily and shifted in his seat, trying to read you but you were not as much of an open book as he would have preferred. This made you interesting, yet perilous for a man of his taste.

“Anyway, I ended up with more questions than I had to begin with and decided it might be an interesting place to spend some time. Though I have to admit, I thought there would be more of a chance of getting a taste of the culture, but this is nice too.”

Coming to understand you were no threat, he soon relaxed in his place. You were no more than a tourist. He decided it was safe to let down his guard and be a nosy parker, asking where you got with “that Mossad story”.

“In retrospect, I can honestly say not far. I mean it was more of a conspiracy theory than anything. Still, I had the audacity to, on a whim—” you were chuckling by now, taunting yourself as you now could see why your boss had allowed you to take some time off, clear your mind. “—run it by my editor, but he turned me down. Our paper just made a deal to have a column-collab with CNN, which he wants me to be in charge of, so he’d rather have me go with something, said “more appropriate”, like a tribute to John Lennon or fucking post-its. Can you believe that? I didn’t get into journalism to gossip; I write to make people feel something; incite revolution; I wouldn’t mind that now.”

“Huh,” hummed he fairly entertained, curiously eyeing you as he lifted the cup to his lips. “Well, I have to admit, I’m a bit of a sucker for conspiracy theories myself, so, I mean, I’d love to read it sometime.”

You chuckled and shook your head, leaning over the table. “Oh no, I fed that garbage to a shredder long ago.”

Guy’s face dropped, seemingly contorting into a mix of disappointment and concentration as he was deep in thought.

“Trust me, you did not miss out,” said you and eyed the trepidation in his entangled fingers. “This piece, however, now that would be worth your while! Nothing that’s ever going to see the light of day but it’s a fine review of this corner of the world, complimenting your superlative resort here.”

“Is that so?” uttered he with a sly smirk and you nodded your head, taking a sip of the coffee.

“Aha! Also, I needed something to distract my mind with, seeing as I have been going at whatever the hell this is for hours now. I can assure you; a sleep-deprived drunken state is the circumstances a writer could ask for.”

He clicked his tongue and his head tilted back, mind going elsewhere. “Doesn’t sound very healthy, though. I could think of other sufficient ways if it’s a distraction you’re seeking.”

A coy smile curled your lip upward, needing no more to assimilate the overt hint and had it not been for the alcohol, your face would have been red as the sunburnt Germans on the tour.

“You know, if you want to fuck, all you have to do is say so.”

He seemed taken aback, but his pacific eyes flashed only a glimpse of surprise before he felt himself break from the daze. “And here I thought I was being bold.”

Humming in reply, you suppressed your smirk and wet your lips, trying to read his face.

Then he spoke up again, “it was Y/N, yeah?”

Nodding your head slowly, you felt your heartbeat increase and your legs’ position shifted as you struggled to tend to the tingle fluttering between your legs.

“Good.”

“And Guy?”

A short moment passed by in silence until he uttered a low “yeah” in reply. Then another passed, one where you took the time to wonder if you really were going to have sex with a complete stranger. The thought, although you never would have considered yourself so adventurous, was appealing to you and the heating sensation only stirred in you. You watched as Guy took you in and he hurriedly looked around him, the sound of his chair’s legs screeching against the floor.

“So, let’s do this.”

And Guy set marching.

His pace was moderate, something for you to keep up with, still, he did not walk five feet without casting a glance across his shoulder to make sure you still were at his tail. You were, of course, and like an eager dog following the food of that. In the end, he ended up reaching for your hand to pull you along, faster and you could not help but grin at the hurry he seemed to be in.

Finding yourself in his company, in his room, you looked around you, though he gave you little chance as he quickly had you caught against the shut door. Dipping down to connect your lips, Guy never got further than grazing your plump, soft lips, ever so slightly and he gave you a questioning look, a funny smirk tugging at his features and you explained, naming your one condition.

“No kissing.”

Guy pouted like a child finding coal rather than candy in his stocking on Christmas morning. “But that’s half the fun, darling.”

And you laughed at him, one hand teasingly sliding down his chest to unbutton the rest of his shirt. “Well, I’ll try my best to make up for it then.”

From excitement, Guy emitted a begging whine and his head dropped back, knowing all too well what you implied, and he had grown impatient even before you could rid him of his shorts. Reimbursing him with a teasing kiss just below his navel, you pulled down the cover. Springing free from strains, his cock stood tall and proud, saluting you and you gaped at the size and thickness of his girth. Surely, that was a mouthful, but you did not let yourself scare and rather blinked up at him, breaking a coy smile, before wrapping your hand around him. Feeling him, your fingers curled him and ran up his shaft, enjoying the sounds you pulled from him at the simple action. He was so responsive, and his cock twitched when your lips brushed his mushroom head. Darting out your tongue to teasingly swirl around him, you set at the base and licked along the prominent vein, humming a sweet sound for him as you complacently watched his blissed expression. Wetting your lips, you wrapped your lips around the tip, tasting the hint of salt he had to offer and for balance, your hands steadied you on his thighs while he moved the hair from your face. Taking a few inches, you dragged yourself up and down his cock, drawing back to spit on him and then fit more. While accustoming your throat to the considerable size of him, your one hand worked on what you had yet to fit, squeezing around him. Guy moaned your name as your tongue massaged against him, reveling in the pleasing sensation in which you provided.

Working on him for minutes, you could feel yourself wet at the very idea of him down your throat and you had to bring your hand down between your legs to take care of yourself all the while. The sound escaping you was almost pornographic, gagging around his cock as his hips bucked forward, fucking your face.

Hissing, Guy was ready to burst at any given time and urged you deeper on his cock, when you shifted. You received a questioning gaze through his daze when your lips left his cock and you merely grinned for yourself. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought a man such as himself would so easily be wrapped around your finger, but here he was, wanting you more than anything, making you feel divine as you stood from your knees.

You never had been one to stride from an honest challenge in this time was no different, although it proved none at all when he so complaisantly fell under your curse. Thus it was nothing but nature for you to take what you wanted, and knowing you had to be dripping down your thighs by now, you reached to suck on his neck, pushing him onto the bed.

Feeling him rock hard against your clothed cunt, he elicited a moan from you the had him groan low in his chest. Desperately Guy wanted to take control of the moment and set a bruising pace, only he could not recall a time where he had felt so small, not to mention the part of him enjoying a woman in power.

Straddling him, your dress hiked up you fevered skin and his rough hands helped you pull it over your head, exposing your body for the humid air to embrace. Exploring hands admired your bare chest, tugged you down by your waist, grinding against him and his large hands fell to your bottom. Adroit fingers rid you off your garments in seconds and he hoisted you closer to him. It was then he got a sense of just how wet you were for him. All for him and he grunted, smirking to himself at the thought of how slippery you had gotten from sucking him off.

Driving yourself crazy by running your sex up and down his pulsing shaft, you spread your wetness across his cock and made a mess when you decided you had kept him waiting long enough. Steadying yourself with a hand flat on his heavily heaving chest, you lifted yourself and lined his head with your slick entrance, before sliding down.

Guy winced, pleasure engulfing him as your warmth swallowed him whole. Panting a faint moan, you heaved yourself unsteadily and the precariousness of a lady, eyes squinting shut at the all too missed feel of a man filling you.

Alleviating hands kneaded the soft spots of your body, holding you by the waist to guide you up and down him. His azure eyes were fixated on where you met, head craned out of comfort, pulled off the pillow to watch how well you took him. The sounds you made were hushed but pornographic and became more so when he pulled you down, close to his face and he could smell himself on you as you coveted climax.

“You hear that?” mutters he into your skin, voice husky and responsible for the shivers sparking through your bones. While your head was long gone in a state of ecstasy, the taunting slap of his balls on your skin echoed through your mind and you whined in response, nearly collapsing as you failed to keep up with him. Fucking up into your clenching cunt, Guy grunted against you, his one hand lifting your chin, forcing eye contact and you moaned at the sight. With all but his glorious, damp expression and the resonating, squelching sounds from between your thighs blocked out, you shuddered, hoping to God, not a soul had heard, for your frolic affairs could not be mistaken. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well, Y/N.”

And barely in the mental state to keep yourself composed; Guy stripped you from all chances of keeping quiet as his hand snaked between sweaty bodies to toy with your clit. Whimpering, you harshly bit down on your lip, your own hand tentatively, shakingly clasping against his and he can do nothing but watch keenly in wonderment as you came around his cock. Ponding you through your orgasm, he did not heed the thumping sound on a fist on the wall, refusing to let the face of Max ruin his orgasm. Squeezing around him, Guy felt himself unable to restrain any longer, and he pulled out, his thick load painting your stomach and pussy.

Moaning an elongated cry at the absence of his bruising thrusts, you ground out your fading orgasm on his stomach, his cock twitching beneath you, still spurting. Fragile as glass, you were collapsed on Guy, breath hitched in your hoarse throat, nuzzling your head in the crook of his neck as you attempted to pacify your rapid breathing. Moments passed, recalibrating your respiration and his soothing fingers kneading the spots where marks had been left.

Drawing in a deep breath, you gently lifted your head, shifting and leaning your cheek on your open palm. Simpering and with a hint of thoroughly-fucked in your kittenish eyes, you stole his half-lidded gaze, catching a peaceful smile.

“I should go,” breathed you, catching yourself lick your lips when your eyes darted to his.

Lips parted, Guy moved a little beneath you, hand resting on the small of your back while his thumb still drawing circled patterns.

“You don’t have to,” muttered he with a short pause, only after voiced, realizing his words may have sounded importunate. And that was the last thing he wanted to paint himself as, but he had scant to worry about—after all, he had just fucked a stunning stranger and not one of the two was in rue. “Not yet, at least.”

And you hummed with a smile, one that later would make an appearance in his deviant thoughts. Softly placing your hand on his chest, you leaned in close and ghosted your lips over his, hungry for more but tantalizing in essence.

“This was fun.” Lightly tapping his sturdy chest, you pecked him on his bearded cheek and cast him a smile before making your entrancing exit. “We should do it some other time.”

And just like that, you left him in his room with nothing but his mind to replay the previous scene of wanton happening, his cock hardening only at the notion of sweetest gasps and sinful pants you had offered him. He fucked his hand one last time before he drifted off, off into the deepest slumber he had had in a long time.

TAGLIST: @patzammit @draeluna @chibi-crazy @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @tanyam93 @valentina-booth @peach-acid @jeanily3000 @jamesgiuseppe @loilko

[foolgobi65]

Ram/Sita + spy au+ friends to lovers + “you know i’ll do anything for you”

lol this...AGAIN....spun out of my control.....and is apparently 6020 words while still having massive massive holes in characterization and plot and ...general stuff..lol. anyways hope u like it? it ended up being way less Spy Spy and more ....arranged marriage au...... because everything i’ve written has basically been that now lol and raazi is the only spy movie i could think of that works bc rama and sita dont have mr and mrs smith vibes to me. love u!!!!!!

----

“Are you serious?” 

The face on the screen is somehow almost as familiar as Sita’s own -- she’s never been one for the gossip rags, but at some point, it’s almost harder not to know the features of someone who’s been famous since his parents announced his conception. 

“You know him, then.” Sita’s handler Kaikeyi seems remarkably even-tempered for a woman charging Sita, her top recruit, to attach herself to the arm of Kaikey’s stepson -- a boy that the papers seem to believe Kaikeyi prefers even to her own Bharata. Sita raises an incredulous eyebrow before realizing that Kaikeyi does actually expect Sita to recite what she knows about her newest target. 

“Ramachandra Raghav,” Sita recites from memory, “but the papers call him Ram. Only son of Dasaratha and his first wife Kausalya, sole presumptive inheritor to the Kosala industries fortune. Dasaratha Raghav and his wife publicly struggled to conceive and adopted a daughter, Shanta, nine years before they had Ram whose birth coincided with the release of Dasartha’s final film and his entry into politics.” Sita purses her lips, unsure if she should continue, but Kaikeyi remains impassive. “Dasaratha and Kausalya divorced when Ram was five, and three months later Dasaratha married you.” Judiciously Sita chooses not to include the fact that Kaikeyi, who during her acting days had only been paired with the already greying movie star, reportedly delivered her eight-pound son Bharata three months early. 

Kaikeyi rolls her eyes, still the same striking green that had made her first film such a hit. “Of course I was pregnant when we got married. What else.” 

Sita racks her mind. “The custody case was unusual -- Kausalya shifted to America with her children, but Dasaratha petitioned for them to stay with him in India. Shanta was 16 and decided to finish school abroad with Kausalya, but the courts decided that Ram would spend alternate years with each parent until he reached his majority.” It was the oddity of the arrangement that kept the Indian public so desperate for news about what otherwise might have been just another star-turned-politician’s son: pictures of Bharata, who was constantly being presented at building openings, movie premiers and other assorted Party functions went for nearly a quarter of the price as those of Ram whose arrival at the Delhi airport became more and more of a national event in sync with his father’s increasing political power. The exoticism of his American English was viewed with as much pride as his unaccented Hindi which the Party often used to great effect, having him canvass his father’s constituents on camera the year Dasaratha was put forward as the party’s candidate for Chief Minister and releasing them online. 

But it has been a few years since Ram was last in India for more than a month or so’s vacation -- at 16 he graduated from school and sent the Indian media into near paralytic shock when he decided to attend university in Delhi. Not even three years dimmed the public’s fascination, which quickly turned into genuine discontent when it was announced that Ram had accepted an offer to do his doctorate in California and had barely been seen in India since. 

“You want me to investigate a Chief Minister’s son?” Again, Sita leaves unsaid the rumors that swirl even in headquarters -- that Dasaratha’s relative competency at state-wide management has made him a viable candidate for even higher office. That after the last election’s dismal results, it is apparent that Dasaratha might be the only remaining Party figure popular enough to lead a coalition that would bring them to power in the Centre after nearly a decade at the periphery. 

Kaikeyi laughs. “Not quite,” she says, still perfect red lips twisting in a faint smile, “Ram is in New York now working for the UN, and it seems that he will have a long and illustrious career in diplomacy which will bring him into contact with all sorts of people of interest to our national security agencies. We need someone at his side to make sure that those contacts are being utilized to their full potential.” 

Sita frowns. “He’s too young to need a trusted aide or a secretary.” 

“Correct. That’s why we’re sending you to New York as his wife.” 

-- 

When Sita is 18, a woman comes up to her on the street asking if she’d like to be a model. As a laugh Sita shows up at what the woman’s business card says is the head-hunting agency’s main office only to be quickly moved to a backroom, divested of her backpack, phone and shoes and investing her with a new lifelong wariness of strangers with offers too good to be true. Her father is the aging yet venerable University President -- they don’t have the money for ransom, but Sita just as quickly rules out potential trafficking since her father has one or two connections that would raise quite the fuss if he informed them that his daughter was missing. But before she can think of another reason behind her apparent kidnapping, the door opens, and Sita’s life changes with the incoming rush of bright light into the dark room. 

“You’re..” she splutters, eyes raking up and down the perfect figure of the woman in front of her. 

“Yes,” Kaikeyi Raghav says, sunglasses perched delicately at the top of her head as she adjusts the pallu of her elegant chiffon sari. “I’m sorry for all the confusion, but we really needed to get you alone before we could try and talk to you.” 

“Talk,” Sita rasps, suddenly hyper aware of her own dry throat. Kaikeyi sighs, clapping her hands once before taking a bottle of water that appeared almost instantly at the door’s threshold, opening the cap and offering it to Sita who gulps it down. “Talk about what?” Sita asks. 

“One of our associates brought you to our attention about a year ago thinking that with some work you could be turned into something quite extraordinary.” Kaikeyi brings up her right hand to pull down her hair from its updo, the cascades only making her more breathtaking to Sita, whose father always had a soft spot for the old Dasaratha-Kaikeyi films. “I’ve been observing you ever since, and recently came to the same conclusion.” 

Sita can’t help but glow at the praise, even as she tries to keep her sense of rationality -- she’s been kidnapped after all, even if by one of the nation’s most illustrious figures. First: “Are you trying to traffick me into sex work?” 

Kaikeyi laughs, and the sound is clear and captivating like a bell. The more Sita watches, the smaller details begin to stand out -- a mole just slightly to the right of Kaikeyi’s collarbone, the green of the embroidery that brings out those colors in her eyes, the red fingernails that perfectly match Kaikeyi’s lips. 

“Do I look like a pimp?” Kaikeyi’s tone is one that does not truly seek a response, though Sita is not sure she even has one. The proclivities of the rich and powerful are rumored to skew to the truly scandalous, and there is no reason that an elegant woman could not be the front for the procurement of such services. 

“Then is this supposed to be recruitment for politics?” Sita has never thought herself particularly gifted at deception, which seems to be the first requirement for a fruitful career of public service. 

“No,” Kaikeyi laughs again, “but I find it interesting that you didn’t consider that I might be signing you on as a heroine.” 

“I don’t have a face for film,” Sita says, “and I have no intention of leaving Delhi.” 

“You have exactly the face for film,” Kaikeyi counters, “but I agree -- your mind would be as wasted as mine in Bombay.”  

“Then politics?” Sita, who was born and brought up in Calcutta before her father was given a position in Delhi had never given much thought to the Raghav’s stronghold Ayodhya -- she can’t imagine what Kaikeyi could possibly see in her. 

Kaikeyi shakes her head. “What do you know about this country’s intelligence services?” 

Sita blinks. “You want me to be a spy?” 

-- 

Five years after their first meeting, Sita has learned how to handle all sorts of weapons including her own body, how to speak a dozen languages, how to scope out a room. In some strange way, Kaikeyi seems to have filled the gaping hole left behind by Sita’s long-dead mother Sunaina, who Sita is not entirely sure would approve of what her daughter decided to make of her life. There isn’t quite a bond of affection, but there is loyalty beyond even what Sita would have given her own mother -- no better proof than the fact that here Sita is agreeing to marry Kaikeyi’s stepson entirely because Kaikeyi demanded it, where Sunaina would have had quite the shock if she had tried to suggest a man for Sita to wed. Sita had dreamed of marrying for love, but loyalty she reasons is close enough. 

Ostensibly, Sita has finished her MA with high honors and works at an NGO that enjoys Kaikeyi’s patronage -- this, they decide, is how the papers will be told Kaikeyi knows Sita. There are a few strategically leaked photos of Kaikeyi first paying the NGO a visit, then taking Sita out for a series of lunches. Sita finally travels to the ancestral Raghav mansion in Ayodhya for Diwali, bringing along her father to meet and pay his respects to his favorite screen star. 

“You must be Sita’s father,” Dasaratha booms when they approach, somehow brimming with the same vitality and presence that drew such crowds to the theater in his youth. He grins, left arm wound around Kaikeyi’s waist at his side as he turns to speak to Sita. “My wife has grown old and taken up matchmaking to pass the time, but from what I have seen you would be a fine choice for my Ram.” 

Janaka stiffens at Sita’s side, hearing about such an arrangement for the first time, but Dasaratha’s charisma pulls him into its orbit as Dasaratha reaches out his hands. “I confess that I was never well educated myself, but I believe it would only bring me and my family honor to be able to call someone as learned as yourself ‘Brother.’” 

Janaka is sold. Sita, who has never been quite sure about the real dynamic between Kaikeyi and her husband, realizes with some relief that there is genuine fondness, even love, in the smile she flashes her husband. Perhaps there might be hope for Sita herself. 

Dasaratha insists that the informal engagement is enough to justify Sita and her father’s extended stay at the mansion. After one day, he calls Ram himself informing his son that Dasaratha has found him a wife. Within a week, the news reports that Dasaratha’s eldest son has found himself back on Indian soil. 

Sita finally leaves the mansion two weeks after Diwali with the instruction that she must treat the property as her own home whenever she returns to India -- after all, Dasaratha booms, she is his beloved Ram’s wife now, and Dasaratha’s daughter now as much as Janaka’s. 

-- 

“So,” Sita says on their first night, sitting on what's supposed to be their marital bed,  “what name should I call you?” 

Her husband raises an eyebrow, silent just as he has been for almost the entire week since he was called home. Kaikeyi, when Sita asked for details, had not elaborated on the character of her stepson nor had she offered details about how Sita might best seduce him. 

“Follow your instincts,” Kaikeyi had said, smiling at Sita’s frustration. “You’ll know what I mean when you spend time with him.” 

Well, Sita thinks perversely, her instincts are telling her to confess everything to the man she has promised herself to in front of her father, and God almighty. Somehow, she is meant to maintain a lifelong relationship with a man she is only now speaking to, and to mine his contacts for information to send back to her handler, his stepmother. 

“The papers call you Ram,” Sita says, only a little sullen at the thought of the task ahead of her, “as does your family. Is that what you prefer to go by?” 

“My father’s family,” he corrects mildly, and Sita immediately flushes at the mistake. Kaushalya and Shanta had of course come, but arrived only the night before the wedding -- Sita had met them both the morning of, but only enough to touch their feet and have Kaushalya cluck, teary-eyed, over the beauty of Sita in her wedding sari. 

“Of course,” Kaushalya had said off-handedly to Shanta standing at her side, “Kaikeyi has always had excellent taste.” Sita had not trusted herself to answer. 

“Will we live with your mother in America?” Sita has been provided with what she considers shockingly little information regarding her future living situation -- Kaikeyi insists that, largely, this assignment requires Sita to effectively live her own life and as such being more information than provided a new wife would only detract from her performance. 

He shakes his head. “My mother and Shanta live in New York too, but Shanta needed to be closer to Columbia and...” he looks away, suddenly just slightly awkward. “Things changed so much for Mother throughout my life that I think she was finally able to find some type of stability when I was away at university. When it turned out that I was moving back, I didn’t want to be the one to throw her life back into flux.” 

Sita nods. “Are you close?” 

Her husband hums, fingers of one hand slightly worrying at the hem of a blanket. “As much as I can be, having spent every other year away.” 

Sita can’t imagine -- for years, the story of the boy caught so explicitly between two worlds has always been interesting or amusing, but now that she’s confronted with him in the flesh she knows that it must have been sad, too. She tries to imagine a mother committing to the notion that the child she waves off at the airport gate would not be the one who returned, and finds that it’s impossible. 

“It must have been difficult,” she offers, not elaborating on whether she is speaking of her husband’s family, or himself. 

He nods. “Father and Mother Kaikeyi always had Bharata, and the Party. I was glad when Mother found Sumitra and the boys.”

Sita’s eyes widen. “A friend?” 

He turns his body to look at her for the first time head-on. “No,” he says, eyes boring into Sita’s, exuding the same gravitational force as his father. “Her wife. The boys are my Father’s during a...period of disagreement with Mother Kaikeyi, and when Sumitra decided to keep them Mother brought her to New York to have the children. They fell in love.”

This is a test, Sita realizes, and for the first time, she realizes the wisdom of Kaikeyi’s lack of preparatory material even as she curses Kaikeyi in equal measure. She would have liked to have not been blindsided, but there is a truth to her reaction she could never have mimicked so effectively. Her mind roils with the amount of information relayed in such few sentences -- Dasaratha, already so old, still fathering sons. Kaikeyi and her husband having a disagreement so strident it sent him into another’s arms. Kausalya, raising more of Dasaratha’s children as her own. Kausalya, in love with a woman. 

Her silence has drawn on too long during her contemplation, and her husband’s eyes have gone cold as he leans away from her. 

“You call her Sumitra,” she decides on, “but if she’s your mother’s wife, should I call her mother in law as well?” 

Her husband is wide-eyed himself for a moment, but then his face cracks into a smile just dripping with sudden, unexpected delight. Sita’s heart skips a beat at the sight. 

“It would make her very happy if you did,” he says. “And as for me, my mother has always insisted on calling me Ramachandra and none of my siblings use my name at all. You can call me whatever you’d like.”  

---

“Rama!” Sita exclaims, trying to rise from the chair behind her desk and managing to trip on the hanging sleeve of the sweater she had been sitting on. She laughs, picking herself up off the ground. “Oh, and you brought the boys too!” 

It’s been a year since Sita moved to New York, a year in which she’s found fulfilling work at a South Asian women’s shelter, learned how to navigate herself via subway to find the best of ten different cuisines in New York, read three books related to Shanta’s new area of interest, featured in the boys’ Instagram Lives over 20 different times, and found herself a best friend in the form of her husband. 

Ram, she had decided, was how the public knew him even if his father’s family chose the same. Ramachandra was much too long. Rama was short, sweet, vowels easy in Sita’s mouth. 

“No one calls me that,” he’d said when she’d first used the name, his tone again one of unexpected delight. “I’ve always thought it was strange that they never did.” 

Sita’s due a lunch break, but she’s always been prone to eating at her desk unless she’s eating out -- a budgeted, once weekly expense she keeps track of after the humiliating exorbitancy of her first month’s bill. 

“We have money,” Rama had said, bemused at Sita’s profuse apologies. “I’ve got a trust fund, but my salary certainly pays well enough for this.” He’d glanced at the bill Sita had handed him as she had wrung her hands in front of him, so unsure of how she’d managed to spend so much. “It looks like this is mostly just restaurant charges anyway, and,” he’d looked up at Sita with a smile, rising to hold her hands before she could twist them again, “you live in New York now. I’m glad that you’ve spent the last month trying all sorts of the things the city has to offer. It’s exactly what I did when I moved back, except I probably spent twice as much.” 

Sita had felt the first of many twin pangs at his kindness -- one pang of joy, at being with someone so well suited to herself, and another of sorrow when she thought of how their relationship was founded on a lie. Kaikeyi had told Sita that there was no need to actively seek out contacts for at least the first year, and so the extent of her real work was having regular conversations with Kaikeyi that easily blurred the line between professional and personal relationships. 

“Is he any good at sex,” Kaikeyi had asked one day after asking for a report about Rama’s “family situation” which Sita found distressingly similar to the inquiries of a second wife wondering about her husband’s former paramours. Sita had hung up. 

“Sita?” Sita starts, bringing herself out of her reverie and smiling. 

“Sorry,” she says, grabbing her coat. “I was just thinking about something.” 

“Something interesting?” He takes the coat and holds it out for Sita to slip her arms into, smoothing down the lapels when she turns around. “I spent the whole morning stuck in the single least productive set of meetings, and knowing them they’re probably arguing about what appetizers to get for lunch. I’ve never felt as lucky as I did when I told them all that, unfortunately, I’d already logged that I was taking a half-day to take care of my brothers.” 

The boys scowl. “We’re thirteen years old,” Lakshmana says. Shatrughana nods in agreement. “We could have gone home by ourselves!”

Sita flashes Rama a smile, leaning down with an expression as if in deep thought. “That’s true enough -- if you’d like we can send you home and just join you after I finish work, but aren’t your moms on a health kick right now?” 

Lakshmana, always the more suspicious of the pair, crosses his arms. “And?” 

“Well,” Sita drawls, hearing Rama snort softly next to her, “your brother and I were thinking of taking you to the greasiest joint we can find in walking distance, and then to 7/11 after to find you both snacks for when you spend the weekend at our apartment. But if you’d rather not, that’s totally ok too!” 

The boys fall for the line, hook and sinker. 

“Oh,” Lakshmana says, voice suddenly a pitch lower than usual as he squares his shoulders in what Sita doesn’t think any of the three recognize is his best imitation of Rama, “that’s ok.” He looks over at Shatrughana, who nods. “Family is important. Let’s go eat!” 

“Thank you,” Rama says softly after they’ve finally decided where to eat and are walking in the correct direction. Sita raises an eyebrow. “You’re good with the boys,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders. “I was expecting to have to take them out on my own, and stay at my mother’s when I wanted to spend time with them but --” 

Sita interrupts him before he says something truly embarrassing about what she only sees as a pleasure. “It’s easy when they’re such good kids,” she says, “and I would have done it even if it was harder. It’s the least I could have done for you, after everything.” 

Everything being the credit cards he’d given her when they landed, his insistence that he wouldn’t monitor her spending and would set up a bank account for her that he would periodically transfer money into but not be able to access. Everything being the books he shared with her and the books he read on her recommendation, in turn, the concerts they’d attended together, the plays and musicals and movies and street festivals. Everything being the conversations they’d had on the couch until late at night, the meals he learned to cook because they reminded her of home. 

The one similarity underlying all others between them, Sita realized one day, was that they had both grown up lonely, without anyone person, they could claim truly, entirely understood them. Neither of them had had a best friend until they met the other. By unspoken agreement, they had not consummated their marriage that first night, nor during the first few hectic months of Sita’s acclimation to New York. Eventually, it became easier to simply maintain things as they were and to enjoy the novelty of a companion before things became ... complicated. 

If a part of Sita insisted that she hold off from sex so as to not build even more on an inherently unstable foundation -- if that same part screamed that her husband had given her trust beyond all else and she squandered the gift every day she didn’t tell him who she really was -- then that was something for Sita, and only Sita, to think about.

--- 

“Oh,” Sita hears from the bathroom threshold, glancing through the mirror at the figure Rama cuts in his tailored tuxedo. It’s been nearly a year and six months since their marriage, and what Sita thought of as friendship has since bloomed into a wild, uncontrollable love. Yet, she keeps her love to herself, knowing that it would be cruel to offer him fruit with a rotted core. 

He cares too, she knows -- only a fool could willingly ignore the little signs of it he offers so freely, long and lingering looks, kisses to her cheek, forehead, the corner of her lips and the edges of her knuckles. She knows that her resistance to further intimacy must confuse him, perhaps even hurt him, but still, she can’t help but think that things would be worse if she gave in only for him to find out later. Sometimes, she wonders if Dasaratha knows about Kaikeyi -- if Lakshmana and Shatrughana owe their existence to a revelation of the truth which so discomfited their sire that he sought another woman to drown in. 

Sita is selfish, far too much so, to allow the truth to poison what she now has, half-life as it is. So she smiles over meals Rama cooks for her, meets the contacts Kaikeyi has started sending her way during lunch breaks she takes less frequently at her desk and begins preparing her heart for when things will inevitably fall apart. Today, she and Rama will attend a gala meant to raise funds for refugees which will double as a drop-point for some dissident’s data collection from the last five years on the inside of their regime’s surveillance operation. 

“You look beautiful,” Rama says, walking in. Sita’s hands, haphazardly smoothing down the last wisps of hair that refuse to curve to her skull in their updo, pause when he places his own over them. “Is that my mother’s sari?” 

Sita nods. “The style has come back,” she says, reaching out to the counter for the strand of jasmine Sumitra had sent to their apartment to be paired with Kausalya’s sari. “Even Kaikeyi approved, which means that this outfit technically has the approval of all three of your mothers, and your sister as well.” 

Rama smiles softly, taking the jasmine and pinning it up with a deft hand that speaks of experience. “I’ve never been one to keep up with fashion trends, but I think you wear it very well.” 

“Kaikeyi says it makes me look like a movie star.” In order for the drop to be successful, Kaikeyi had demanded Sita pull out all the stops possible within the relatively demure confines of charity-wear. Sita’s blouse plunges at the back, skin unobstructed by a pallu or bra, and she shivers slightly when Rama’s left-hand traces lines. 

“I suppose she would know,” he says absently, eyes raking up and down at Sita’s reflection in the mirror they both face, passing over her eyes rimmed with kohl and her dark red lips. His right-hand falls to his pocket, searching for a moment before he finds what he needs, pulling out a pair of beautiful earrings Sita hadn’t known he had. 

“Mother Kaikeyi had me get these from storage a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t sure if they would suit what you were planning on wearing.” They look at the pieces in his hands, realizing together how well the earrings will look with Sita’s sari. 

“Will you put them on me,” Sita asks, voice thin and breathy despite herself. His hands are gentle, just slightly cool to the touch as they gently thread the earrings into her lobes, tightening the screws and caressing her ear before moving to ghost over Sita’s hips. If Sita moved into his touch, allowed him to grasp her body so hard that she bruised if she turned her face just slightly and brushed her lips against his -- her entire body is one flame, but even now she is attending this gala with her own motive, even has a small gun she plans on holstering to her left leg as insurance. She can’t. 

She can’t. Sita takes one step forward, Rama’s hands falling back to his own sides. 

“We’ll be late,” Sita says, moving them back into purgatory instead of choosing heaven or hell. 

Rama shakes his head slightly, taking a breath. “Yes,” he replies, tone never betraying a sense of the frustration he must feel. He smiles again, holding out a hand. Sita will tell him one day, she tells herself. He deserves that much. 

“Let’s go.” 

-- 

One day, it seems, will be sooner rather than later. Sita’s very first drop of this assignment, after nearly two years of prep, and it seems like she’s going to end up just another statistic, shot in the head for all her efforts. 

Worse, she thinks, she’s going to break Rama’s heart. The dissident was less careful than they’d thought, trusted someone they shouldn’t have, and now they’re both being held up against a wall and being told to recite any final prayers for their souls. Sita’s single measly gun at her hip wouldn’t change the odds of 10 against 2, especially since no amount of physical training will significantly change the realities of her smaller physique going up against larger numbers of even better-trained muscle. 

She only wishes that she’d thrown caution to the wind once, had told Rama the truth and let the cards fall where they may. She wishes she could see him one more time and apologize, reassure him that her love was true even if her initial motives weren’t. 

“Hey,” she hears from somewhere in the distance, away from their cluster of a firing squad. Her heart simultaneously sinks and soars to realize that the voice is Rama. “That’s my wife!” 

The leader laughs, just as the dissident sobs. Sita clutches their hand tighter. “Then I’m sorry to say that she hasn’t been much of a wife,” the leader sneers, “just another one of Kaikeyi’s little rats meddling where they’re unwanted.” 

“Run!” Sita screams, deciding that she’d rather Rama be alive than hear her confessions before he too is killed. “For my sake run, before they decide to kill you too!” In the back of her mind, she knows that it’s already too late -- people are executed for far less than what Rama is doing, which is continuing to walk forward. 

He sighs audibly, not even pausing his forward momentum. “I’m sorry,” he says, and for some reason, Sita genuinely believes that he is. “You know I’d do anything for you, but there’s something I haven’t told you yet about me.” 

Shouldn’t that be Sita’s line? “What,” she croaks, captivated by how he’s somehow holding the group hostage, each of them curiously watching as he walks right up to wear Sita and her companion stand against the wall. “Please,” she sobs, breaking her own vow to face death with dignity, “if you’ve ever cared about me, you would leave.” 

Rama’s fingers come up to trace Sita’s bruised eye, her puffy lip, the cut at her cheekbone. “Concussion?” he asks, completely ignoring Sita’s plea. 

“It hardly matters,” she says, “when I’m going to die in about five minutes. Just like you will if you don’t leave right now.” 

Rama hums, right hand shifting down to her thigh, where her gun is strapped. Sita’s eyes widen as though the fabric he seems to be easing the gun out and up to where the fabric wraps around her waist. Left hand still caressing her cheek as the right holds the gun in place against her stomach, he leans in to gently kiss Sita’s forehead. 

“All three of us are going to live tonight,” he says, so confident that it seems as if it would be absurd for Sita to think anything else as if even three against 10 the odds are stacked firmly in their favor. “Hold this for me?” 

Sita’s hand shifts down to the gun still hidden in the fabric as Rama steps away and turns, his hands now busy divesting himself of his tuxedo jacket and the bowtie Sita had so painstakingly learned how to tie for him earlier. 

“Now,” he says casually, as everyone watches him worry at his cufflinks, dropping them in the pile now at Sita’s feet, later followed by his wedding ring. “Unfortunately for you all this means that you will not be surviving this encounter. Do you have any last words?” 

The leader laughs. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Rama’s left-hand reaches out behind him. Sita, as if in a trance, dutifully fishes out the gun and places it in his hand before realizing that she has something she needs to say before it's too late. His own confidence gives her some of her own, but still how could he possibly win? How will they possibly survive -- and if, against all odds they do, what on earth is she going to say? So: “I love you,” she blurts out, smiling slightly when Rama’s head twists to look at her, incredulous, but before he can respond the first bullet fires and he explodes into action. 

For the first two minutes, the fight is 10 against 1 and still, Rama makes it look like child play. Weaving in and out, every shot he fires taking down at least one if not more of the men against him. At some point, he grabs another gun and tosses it in Sita’s direction, whose entrance into the melee serves to turn the tide even further. At least she’s always been a good shot, she thinks to herself, taking a man out even when her head rings with what she knows her husband accurately diagnosed as the beginning of a concussion. Part of her can’t do anything but watch as her studious, gentle husband breaks someone’s nose before shooting them through the heart. 

Within five minutes, it’s over. Just like Rama said, all ten men are dead at their feet. The gun drops out of his hand, slippery now with other people’s blood. Sita’s kill count is 2. He’s just killed eight men. 

“I...” Sita starts, realizing she doesn’t know what to say. She swallows, looking at the carnage around her and tries again to reconcile the sight with Rama’s soft sweaters, old fashioned glasses, and aversion of horror films. “How?” 

Rama purses his lips. “Same as you,” he says, wiping his hands on his pants with a grimace. “Mother Kaikeyi trained me, and while I was in India I was sent on assignment.” 

Sita pauses. “You’re a spy?” Even as she says it, she knows that she’s in no position to speak with such scandal in her voice -- yet, she thinks, she had thought she knew him, that he had trusted her. 

Rama laughs as he never has: short, hollow, bitter. “No,” he says, “not anymore. And even when I was, I was more of a hitman than anything else. I quit and moved away, and I assume that’s why Mother Kaikeyi sent someone to make sure I didn’t step too far out of line as a rogue element.” 

Somehow, Sita thinks, this is worse than she imagined. “No,” she says, rushing forward, hands wringing as if he’s looking again at her first credit card bill. “I asked at the beginning. It was never about you.” 

Rama is silent for a moment that seems to stretch endlessly as the adrenaline wears off for Sita, and her aches start to make themselves known. Her face throbs, her head spins, and there’s something in the vicinity of her ribs that twinges while she stands still -- not broken, she doesn’t think, but maybe bruised? Rama’s hands, almost as if it were against his mind’s will, come to stop her hands and tangle his fingers in his own as they do nothing but stare into the darkness over the other’s shoulder. “I’m glad that that’s what you were told,” he says eventually, and Sita suddenly realizes that there is an entire lifetime’s worth of complication she hadn’t known existed. 

“I wasn’t told anything,” she says, sure now that Dasaratha knows at least part of Kaikeyi’s truth, because why else would Kaikeyi have made sure that Sita walked into her relationship as transparent as possible. “Everything we shared was real.” She pauses, uncertain. “At least from my end.” 

Rama’s hands are like vices, clutching Sita’s fingers so hard it feels like he’s cut her circulation. “From mine as well. So when you just said--” 

“Yes,” Sita says, unable to say now what fear of imminent death had so successfully inspired. “Before, I was afraid of you finding out about me, but yes of course.” 

Rama exhales. “I’d hoped that’s what was stopping you, but I was never entirely sure that you really were one of Mother Kaikeyi’s recruits,” he smiles with a hint of self-deprecation. “You’re a good actor, you know.” 

“No,” Sita says, bringing her hands up to cup his face, finally deciding to be brave. “I’m really not.” She leans in. 

Their first kiss is gentle, tastes just slightly like blood, and ends quickly when Sita’s lip is irritated and makes itself known. It’s perfect. 

“I love you,” Rama breathes into the sliver of space when they part, one hand drifting to hold her at the waist, another rubbing small circles into the nape of her neck. Sita’s head spins, and not only from the concussion. 

“Hey,” she hears from somewhere behind. “I’m glad you two seem to have made up...and also .... that we’re all alive. But can we go now?” 

Sita laughs, and then immediately regrets doing so. “Yes,” she says as Rama holds her still, “let's go.” 

[cake-in-a-tin]

My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back

forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...

the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why

 Philosopher’s Stone

teeny harry haha

that snake is so beautiful

no post on sundays bro

hi hagrid

how did the dursleys get off the island tho

aw harry is so teeny and innocent

ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that

hermione is so great already

and you are…

‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’

haha tiny malfoy

TREVOR! + neville

that death glare mcgonagall omg

oof snape really hates harry

it's leviooosa not leviosaaa

troll in the dungeon!!!

hi fluffy

ew norbert is gross to be completely honest

creepy malfoy staring at the window

malfoy being sassy wow

‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?

oof ron are u ok

bye hermione

voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes

harry really just killed quirrell jeez man

alas earwax

Chamber of Secrets

ah go away dobby don't be weird

yes the car with fred and george

oof bye uncle vernon haha

ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u

haha ginny is iconic

rons face when the train comes omg

ron can drive? that's impressive…

ooh a voice scaryyy

hey colinnn

eat slugs - yas

let go of his arm lockhart

uh oh colin is petrified

hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow

gosh moaning myrtle is annoying

tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh

ew spiders

lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow

yas fawkes

ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...

powerful sock…

go away lucius ur annoying

Prisoner of Azkaban

ugh aunt marge blow up already

sassy harry tm

tom is iconic

so is crookshanks tbh

the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho

yess lupin hi

ugh shut up trelawney

ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other

‘it’s killed meh!’

the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player

love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends

yay marauders map - iconic fred and george

nice snowman also

my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...

yes leave hermione

trelawney stop being creepy

take that malfoy

harry third wheeling

yas remus save sirius

"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up

die peter lol

haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely

ugh harry stop being noble

haha yes mentioning the marauders

ew stop peter

oh no werewolf

sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude

bad idea yes ron i agree

oof fight him sirius

no sirius!

the dementorssss

no harry that's not a real patronus dude

nom eat the little soul nugget nice

ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo

scabbers did it ok... shut up ron

dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious

and enter many time paradoxes

‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry

yess save buckbeak dudes

yas beautiful patronus dude

this music tho wow

au revoir sirius

I wonder how many stairs they ran up...

poor ron so confused

that bird just got squished no

don't leave lupin

please tell harry about the marauderss

i love lupin omg

ooh a firebolt thanks godfather

the ending face wow

Goblet of Fire

ooh nagini hello

yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea

dr who!

ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm

yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow

hermione's so mad 4 some reason

yes cedric diggory in a tree

everyone has long hair why

isn't just any manky old boot mate

cedric amos and arthur are show offs

feet off the table!

i luv magik

wow krum is enjoying himself

Why is draco wearing a suit?

lucius is very ominous

think ur in luvvv ron

is there no winky in this? sad

harry is so awkward omg

bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant

oh bonjour beauxbatons

wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples

wow run filch ao athletic

ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist

ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt

moody is so dramatic

dumbledore already shouting nice

why does he have so many bugssss

ah that is a creepy spider

poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks

yess fred and george back at it again

hermione ruining the vibe

HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly

what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting

igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude

hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past

yas sirius in a fire

"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)

poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew

wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie

"nyaaah"

malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character

my father will hear about thissss

omg rita get outttt

fight the dragonnnn

feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*

it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.

knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa

god just open it harry

ron ur so awkward...

harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me

oh yes the gorgeous dress robes

poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...

*babbling bumbling band of baboons*

the twins are hilarious in this haha

aw neville!

snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace

ron's jealous of viktor krum haha

love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.

given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.

ugh no myrtle stop

harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood

harry's hair when he was swimming haha

just leave them harryy omg too noble

harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can

fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation

mr crouch stop being weird

yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts

oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool

i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me

Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...

snape is so iconic wow

"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again

this music is so great

i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope

"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie

aw baby voldemort is so cute

ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama

how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??

the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters

u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head

voldemort has lovely long fingernails

lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.

"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence

bit awkward to return with a dead body...

its alright harry *shakes his head violently*

uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr

Order of the Phoenix

halfway done woo

the intro music is still a jam the 5th time

that is big whinging not little whinging

hi big D what a great nickname...

uh oh dementorrrrr

yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies

harry looks a lot like frodo baggins

yay the order is rescuing him finally

yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone

ooh kreacher

jeez hermione attack him

crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do

cute godfather godson moments yeass

arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome

ugh not umbridge ew

yes clear those charges

aw padfoot yess

wow that's a lovely coat sirius

voldemort looks great in a suit wow

didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?

yes luna!

oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd

yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend

sassy harry reaching full potential

ugh umbridge sucks wow

so evil torturing harry

yes weasleys wizards wheezes

luna is so pure and perfect

the friendship between her and harry is so amazing

yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall

trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge

oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry

yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane

yes hermione break the rules!

oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy

yay the room of requirement!

dumbledores army is so fabuloussss

nigel is amazing and i love him

wow hermione just knocked out ron haha

harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches

wow ginny is so powerful

harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh

just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*

occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun

cute christmas scenes wow

ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay

harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss

yay hagrid finally

oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss

poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair

is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference

aw all the patronuses are so cute

uh oh here comes umbridge...

noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa

oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"

no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll

grawp yess. hes kind of cutee

ron is jealous of grawp bahaha

sheesh snape chill

yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh

thats it? noo

aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!

yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!

no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo

yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )

yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr

'i must not tell lies' the sass omg

jeez how many prophecies are there wow

pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish

well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall

yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh

yas sirius!

the order yes

you're beautiful sirius

noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭

yooo voldemort my dudeee

hope the ministry has a massive roomba

the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'

nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool

ah yes angsty harry tm

aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.

luna is an icon though

we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha

Half Blood Prince

uh oh the dark mark is here

death eaters as well fun

fenrir greyback!!

oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af

dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny

ew slughorn no

wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly

slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh

im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys

oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty

oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that

yess fred and george!!!

weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg

uh not cormac mclaggen

oooh its "draco and mummy"

no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet

yes arnold!

yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald

why is draco always wearing a suit??

yes draco is going to pigfarts!

ouch why would u stomp on his nose??

yez luna save him

noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...

poor harry having to do potions again ugh

dun dun dunnn the half blood prince

poor seamus stuff is still exploding

haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol

baby tom riddle is creepyy

tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute

edgy draco in his loki suit

aw rons the only one listening

ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo

haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him

'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses

harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow

wow sneaky draco

rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.

uh oh cursed necklace alert

harry pottrr the boy who just knew

snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)

oh god they're talking about skin aahhh

noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn

ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh

haa rons outfit

ew lavender stopp

oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch

poor hermione she just loves ron thats all

aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice

angsty draco standing in a tower

"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious

luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry

draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot

no draco ur apple!

oh nvm its back dw

ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??

at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes

draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now

cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)

ew lavender stopppp

ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd

thanks ron

stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee

why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon

wow everyones sassy including hermione now

also lav is an awful nicknname

aha tom riddle is still creepy

okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes

uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop

harry thinks the moon is divine haha

Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh

slughorn is so useless

haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name

draco being edgy again woowwww

lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one

oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager

let him cry in peace harry god man

'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound

oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.

no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont

just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better

yes the felix felicis

love harry potter like this its so funny

‘harry!’ ‘sir!’

not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*

nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes

ooh back to tom riddle being creepy

yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time

snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie

oops foreshadowing...

harry has precious blood apparently?

yay boat ride and smoothie

harry potter not harry water bro

noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry

yay new friends!!!

dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude

ooh death eaterz

did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?

oop bye dumbledore

harry brooding in dumbledores office

yess RAB get wrecked voldemort

harry ur thick apparently?

aw cute friendship

Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

rusty logo wow

‘ello whoo are u

oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude

veey dramatic

aaawww hermione no

yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving

ron brooding wow

bye parents sad face

wow vernons old man

ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on

yay snape has a savey seat

pius is a great name

uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy

dracos face haha

ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross

the dursleys house looks so empty

yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee

moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.

yay remus and tonksss

shut up mundungus

blimey hermionee

'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol

wow so many harrys lol

yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh

uh oh death eaters

wow parkour harry

nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie

yo voldemort wassup

oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea

nooo george's ear

jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude

george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments

uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh

ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u

harry stop being moody omg

wow george way to ruin the vibe dude

yo minister leave pls

ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u

yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great

wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro

give him the sword man

yay nice wedding

luna interrupting deep thoughts casually

xenophilius is creepy

ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.

way to crash a wedding dude

hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said

i really want that bag of hermiones

shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops

"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*

sassy harry yas

oh yes grimmauld place

oof voldys having wand struggles

hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks

aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead

regulus arcturus black yay

ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude

aw neville

oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now

uh shut up umbridge

feel like u dont need that many posters

sentimental piano playing wow

yo dobbyyyy

umbridge ruins everything omg

ron - u dont have a wife

haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha

ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss

yas the ugly plates are still in her office

oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife

nice suit harry

ouch splinch

lovely tent

kill the locket dude

dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy

yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude

harry stop being so moody bro

ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.

oh no snatchers...

ah u almost got caught dudes

ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything

lot of missing people...

haha a quarantine haircut

yes hermione ur brilliant

oh god ron stop chill

bye ron i guess lol

poor hermione

yas awkward dancing timee

awkward stares

kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny

uh oh its opening at the closee

vfd!!! an eyee!!!

ooh godrics hollowwww

oop its christmas eve whoopssss

oh a deathly Hallows

parents grave yay!

ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii

bathilda is 1 creepy lady

what are u saying my dude????

ew snake lady

chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely

ah she jumped at them

looks like a nice campsite

wow now hermiones being sentimental

oop she sat on harrys wand

wait nvm

oooh a doe a deer a female deer

dont drown harry that would be awkward

omgbharry stop undressing

oof the locket strangling him

yay ron saved him yas dude

ron kill the horcrux

u tell him hermione

nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices

yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee

aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro

their house is so cute

shut up ron god

yay we know about the deathly hallows now

xenophilius is so suspicious tho

why would you say his nameeee

noo snatchers

ooo ominous malfoy manor

draco dont doo ittt

yay dobby!

ah no hermione

aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit

yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'

nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭

"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"

yay the elder wand wow

giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

snape hi ur brooding

lots of dementys

dramatic music

waaa dobby

yay bill and fleur

yo griphook what up

the sword was in a river bro

madam lestrange? no!

oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww

wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'

oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros

ron looks great with a moustache tho

harry just broke the law jeez...

wow that cart looks fun

wow they fell from the cart nice

oh no ron broke the law too whoops

yay a dragon

lots of gold nice

yay the cup

oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg

griphook y are u evil my dude

yay ride a dragon

oops they fell no

yas they escaped

uh oh voldemort is onto them

that's a lot of dead people

oh no everyones looking for them

ah aberforth hi!

the other part of harry's mirror!

oop dumbledore was a secretive dude

ariana yas

neville!

i love neville hes so great now

yay all of the DA

luna!

ginny is being awkward

'shut up seamus' hhaha

aaa snape yooo

snape stop being a meanie

stop being angry harry

yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!

yay

uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again

stop voldemort you need a cough sweet

yes everyone protect him

haha filch is a blithering idiot wow

i love mcgonagall

run harry

boom! seamus blow stuff up!

yay the knight peeps

uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone

yes luna is so smart and iconic

go talk to a ghost harry

thats a lot of death eaters

go away voldemort no one likes u

yes go stab a crown harry

yay remus

fred and george aw

ron fake parseltonguing lol

nooo quidditch

lol peeps got disintegrated

go hermione stab the cup

yessss kisss!!!!

tonks and remus together wow

wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins

run neville!

yay ginny and neville

yay a little kiss for harry!

ooh the room of requirement

edgy draco back at it again

ooh the diadem

no dracooo

yh draco y didnt u give harry away?

aw ron loves hermione

uh oh fireee

nice work goyle

bye crabbe lol

yay hes saving draco

nice killed the tiara

oops voldemorts getting angry

snapes gonna dies dudes

runnnnn guys

lavenders being eaten

yay aberforth

yeet snapes dying

gosh naginis violent

“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said

woops bye snape

freds death is too sad

nooo remus and tonks

go watch snapes life my dude

yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)

poor harry

its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself

his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg

ooh yay his familyyy

he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'

u got this harry

yay teddy mention

"until the end" yas james

lets do this harry

wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo

yes harry be a brave man

byee harryyyy

oooh hes alive still

hi dumbledore

yes harry is a brave brave man

cool explain it to him dumbledore

bye dumbledoreeee

wow voldy u weakk bro

yas dracos alive get off me

aw neville u got this man

voldy yeeted that dead giant wow

ew snakey boi

nooo hes dead waa

poor draco such an awkward hug

oop neville what?

ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on

voldys very polite for a villain

yay harrys alive

haha dieee

run lucius wow

oof destroying the school harry really

naginis coming run hermione

u got dis neville

noo ron

yes molly!!!

y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..

ouch

bye snake boiii

neville is so iconic omg

kill him HARRY

noice

haha disintegrate voldemort

byeee

dont breathe in voldemort guys

wow harrys a mess

yay hagrid

hermione and ron are so sweet aw

harry yeet the wand

wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it

YEET

aw the friendship

yess 19 years later

wow that hair harry

all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...

should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg

THE END DUDESSSSS

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch15 A Little Offer P5

(Mak belongs to @wasted-church )

The entirety of the cliffside home was oddly silent other than the furious sounds of scrubbing coming from the other side of the sheap. The outside had gotten slightly darker indicating it mustve been early night at least. The residents were sure feeling it. Seam especially as he relaxed back down into the old armchair, normally he hated water but after getting blasted by ashes he was happy to scrub it off. Took a while for his fur to dry though. Luckily no stitches came loose this time. As for Jevil and Rouxls-

The small gremlin was balancing on his tail watching the working worm with a crestfallen face. Seam could only shake his head and couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor fella. True his uh ....'help' had backfired but considering he was pretty rusty from being locked up for over one hundred years of his life, one couldn't judge him too harshly....Buuuut Rouxls wasn't one to let go easily. It had been proven before.

"Can I help,help?" Jevil gave a hopeful smile to the cleaning worm, who paused for a split second before harshly dunking the sponge he was using into a nearby bucket filled with sudsy water and continued as if he hadn't heard a thing. Making the foolishly hopeful smile from his face vanish a bit, but ever persistent, his tail leaned him forward to be closer to the worm's side where he tried seeing his face. "You shouldn't have to work, work so hard. Im sorry, sorry. So allow me to he-"

A quick snap of a heated glare from the duke silenced the jester into submission, his smile now silently small and he froze at the hatred radiating off him. It got smaller when Rouxls leaned onto his knees. Usually hed tower over Jevil but his current sitting position made for perfect eye level.

"Oh. THOU art sorry." A dry chuckle came from that angry being. "Good. For I amst sorry as well....Im sorry for ever letting mine guard down aground thee!"

Jevil flinched. Hard. And Seam continued to watch calmly from the comfort of the chair, but Kaard didnt care as he already turned his frustrations back to scrubbing the black blotches.

"Im sorry I ever met thee. Im sorry I canst be there for mine boy- He can't even sleep properly without a story let alone runneth an entire kingdom by himself. Imst stucketh cleaning homes likest some maid just to get decent food and all for what? For a smiling foolish worme to come crashing into thine-"

....He froze.....Something gently kneeding his shoulder...

"DON'T TOUCHE ME YOU PLAUGE ON MINE LIFE!!"

The tail that been holding up shot back the shocked body of the imp as a worm reared his full anger towards him for trying to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why dont'st you doeth what thou doeseth best and playest games elsewhere?!"

With that the duke snapped back around to the floor ignoring any other sad look Jevil gave him. The jester slunk back even further from the duke- An ear perked at a soft chuckle he turned and found it came from the plush cat away from him.

"Your next play has been interesting to say the least. Are you ready to accept defeat old friend?" His smile widened as the small man pouted and promptly huffed at the audacity of the question.

"Absolutely not,not. I just-" Yellow orbs glanced back shakily to the worm for a split moment before back to the smiling cat. "...Need a new move,move to play."

He chuckled again. "Then may I offer some advice-"

"I can heareth everything thou art saying." Another annoyed glance was thrown over his shoulder.

A paw was held up in defence. "Now, now. I meant no harm but maybe its best Jevil leaves you alone right now."

The smaller man Took one last look to the worm before slowly starting towards the smiling cat. Seam ever so calm reached out and gave the sulking gremlin a pitty pat on the shoulder.

"I dont suppose you would like some tea to help ease the sting of rejection?"

A dark chuckle and smile. "The taste is bittersweet. But I would rather get sweet victory, victory.~"

Deep chuckles came from the cat as his one good eye watched the jester jump onto the couch next to himself, but somehow his forced frustrated grin still seemed to be sad there. It sorta made his cotton shiver with a pang of sorrow, but in a game it was best not to let his guard down too much. Jevil sat down on the couch next to Mak, who was fast asleep in a box filled with different things from gems to random jewelry they probably stole. Took forever to get them to calm down after finding their 'room' ransacked and cleaned out by Rouxls. The purple migit made his frustrated ways known with tapping fingers and strained grin directly towards him in question.

"I just...have a few set backs. Set backs."

"Oh yes. I remember how fondly old couples would chase each other with screams and try to bodily harm one another." He chuckled at the narrowed eyes Jevil have him. "Or maybe not. It's been at least a few hundred years. Hahaha."

"Funny,funny....What have you done, done to get expertise in other's romantical preference?," his voice asked in a low tone. A Jevil way of challenging his knowledge.

To which he shrugged. "I don't. But Id like to think I have enough know how to at least hold a decent conversation and get to know them more."

He could practically hear the gears working in the other's mind as Jevil slowly came to the realization that maybe, just maybe he had something up his sleeve. So when a more questioning look came over him, Seam couldn't help but chuckle.

"Really,really?...Would the Magnificent Seam be willing, willing to....discuss his tutorials? Tutorials.

"Haha. But then wouldn't that be cheating the game old friend?"

One of Jevil's eyelids twitched. Indicating held back annoyance at least. "Hmhm....Perhaps rules could be ...temporary bent,bent?"

It was more of a suggestion than question, but one that made Seam hum with interest anyways. His eye went back to the worm who was stretching his back out with a groan and popping noise from said worm's back. He looked about ready to get done and be one his way. Could it really hurt to exchange a few short insights of his? Jevil waited with hopeful patience as Seam rubbed his chin in thought before looking back to him with a smile.

"I suppose...haha. Two opponents of opposite sides could come to an agreement every so while still searching for victory."

A couple of giggles came his way as Jevil lit back up. "Do tell. Do tell."

"Well....I could but I think you already know he doesn't appreciate forceful attempts to get him to like someone...But how you're doing things I could be wrong."

"...And I could say, say the same about having to be forced to clean a mess,mess that's not his. ..His."

"Not if the person offered to help him in return and was happily offered to go as a ...guest for the holidays."

There it was. The straw that broke the hathys back. The jester became as still as a statue as soon as those few words tumbled out of the plush's mouth, it was honestly rather funny to see such a rare shock upon the normally cheerful face, unfortunately it didn't last long because rapid blinks followed shortly after and a forced pleasent chuckle escaped his throat.

"My dear friend, friend," Jevil said in a forced sweet voice. "It seems that my ears are not what they used to be, be. I thought for a moment you said-"

"That I will be accompanying the Duke to the this silly ball?" Jevils face dropping again made him chuckle and lean into the chair's cushions more. "I suppose it's not that big of a deal...But then again." Even if it seemed unreal, a smug look came over the cat. "You might not like my play on words, Old friend. Hahaha."

In that stuper the imp could only get out one word. "How...?"

"I offered to help take care of you. It seems you've outdone yourself with the romanticizing eh?"

He went from shocked to an angry little man complete with puffed cheeks and red eyes. If you didn't know Jevil personally it would be quite scary but to the laughing cat it was just like a small tired child. It was cuter when he suddenly stood up and stomped a foot onto the couch. Jarring the sleeping child awake and jingling the box they were sleeping in. Seam didnt even flinch when a claw was pointed at him .

"No far, no far! You cheated, cheated!"

"By nicely asking if I could go? Really Jevil. You're acting like a child who didn't get the cookie jar."

A growl. "You can't keep me away, away! "

"Who said I would? I only said I would try to help keep your wild self in check and I intend to do so. ...By giving you advice. " when Jevil didnt say anything he continued. "Try a less forceful approuch next time round. "

".....Next time?" It seemed he found his voice. Jevil could always rebound pretty fast. "My next turn will leave your head spinning, spinning!"

"Oh Im sure it will." Still with the smug grin.

"You'll see, you'll see!!"

With that he sprung himself off of the couch and with furious jingles made his way back to the back room. Oh this was surely was going to be worth watching. A slighy jingling of trinkets ditected his attention back towards the box where the child was looking at him.

"Breakfast time now?"

......................................................................................

Scrubbing sounds was the most of what he heard as he kept up the cleaning momentum. He wanted to get done, collect his earnings, and get out of that chaotic hell of a home. The set back had made him take a whole couple more hours to fix, it was already probably in the middle of the night by how slightly darker it was outside. But luckily he was nearly finished. Just a part of the ceiling left-

The mop was promptly dunked back into the bucket and pulled out a moment later before being thrusted back up against the ceiling and rubbed against the black ashes remaining stuck to it. The anger was still burning in his mind but he couldn't careless. ....Unfortunately it blinded him to what would've been the soft jingling of bells coming up to him until he felt a tug on his sleeves. The scrubbing stopped and looked down to the small mass that was Jevil. Giving him a small smile-

"What doth thou want?"

The harsh tone made him flinch slightly but that didn't deter his new set of confidence. "Ive come to apologize, apologize for everything that's happened."

An anoyed but slightly confused expression came over him as Rouxls rose a brow. His attention turning back to scrubbing. "Oh lucky me... And what doth I owest thy pleasure?"

He didnt see the inhale of breath Jevil took. "I want you to forgive, forgive me. Let us start over, over. Please. Let me make up, make up!"

That made the worm pause his movenents and look back down to the hopeful face of the imp who smiled wider at him. Rouxls blinked....And blinked again. .. Before another annoyed look came over him.

"Really? I amst supposed to forget everythinge that has happened?" Jevils ears drooped slightly as Rouxls huffed. "Likest I wouldst do that- EEK!"

The mop fell to the floor with a thump and water spilt onto the floor. Rouxls scrambled back from the sudden flashing of pink in front of his face, in his hast knocking over the mop bucket and almost falling over onto his rear. Jevil admittedly was pretty startled from sudden reaction as well and just stood there. A couple shiny pink heart attacks floating above him at Rouxls's eye level.

He blinked upwards at the heavy form of the Duke in front of him-

"ART THOU TRYING TO GIVETH MINESELF A SOUL ATTACK?!" He pointed at the hearts. "I will nay f-forgiveth thou for doing that! Now...g-getest rid of them!"

Jevil did. Immediately. "Im sorry, sorry-"

"Stoppeth it! Just stoppeth apologizing." The worm pushed himself up from the wall as gave Jevil another annoyed look. "If thou was really 'sorry' thoust wouldst try harder and use that head of yours."

Jevil said nothing as Rouxls turned around to look at the new mess with a disgusted look, but he did hum and make a thoughtful expression a moment later. He might have mumbled something like 'Try harder, harder?' but Rouxls wasn't paying much attention so he barely heard. But he did see him back out of the room from the corner of his eye. Good. Now he could get done

He looked back down at the spilt water, wondering how he would get that cleaned up-...Wait. A pair of rapid footsteps came towards him, along with a small...battle cry. He barely had time to turn around before a purple blur slammed hard into his chest. They went to the ground like a sack of gems wind knocked out.

"WHONST THY F*CKETH-"

"FORGIVE ME!" A pair of yellow eyes stared intensely from his chest.

"WHA-" The smaller body of the darkner squeezed around his form face pouting against his chest. Rouxls struggled but managed to sit back up with the imp digging into him. "Absolutely not!"

His hands grabbed onto him and pulled. Hard. But Jevils limbs dug harder around him resulting in a panic running up the worm's spine and pulling harder on him. The digits digging into his goopy body was starting to hurt.

"Im not letting go, go until you let me,me make it up to you! You!"

"Thou art bluffing!" By now he was disparately wanting to get this thing off of him! He couldn't stand the way his soul was thumping against his ribcage- "T-Thou cant do this!"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

Of course. What answer would he expect? He sat there and stared dumbfounded at him but considering that he was still clinging to him tighter than Lancer, and that pouting face was.....kinda cute.....UGH!!

"Fine!Fine! Thou can getteth off me now!"

He narrowed his eyes. "You give me your word,word?"

"Y-Yes. Now please-"

After a few more moments of looking at him suspiciously but slowly let Rouxls go. The worm man shakily stood up onto his feet while remaining eye contact with Jevil who seemed alot more satisfied and happy he finally got his way.

"Splendid, splendid! Hehehehehe! Im so excited,excited to hear that! I promise, promise to make you happy, happy!"

"I doubt that..."

But Jevil didn't seem to hear Rouxls mumbling to himself as he proudly skittered to the exit to the shop front. There he stood proudly and pointed a claw at the ever so calm Seam.

"One step closer,closer to checkmate!"

[ladygiselasencen]

@fire-sapphics @honorablescythecurie here is it. pls dont rb also its like 30 words shorter than the last chapter-

If Sammie was being honest, she didn’t really want everyone else to come with on Saturday. She’d wanted to spend time with Gina, and only Gina.

She would have said no to Gina’s request, but there was something about their conversation that had seemed…off. Gina had texted her back, but it had been several minutes before she sent the request to invite other people. Something had happened in those few minutes, and so Sammie caved. She let Gina invite the rest of the people from their table.

She hadn’t been lying when she’d said she wanted to get to know them better. Everyone seemed so kind and fun, but they’d seemed a lot like a family. Sammie desperately wanted to be a part of that, but she wanted to spend time with Gina more.

There was also the lingering issue of their discussions about Logan. Maybe Gina was right to shun her, to badmouth her, but Sammie was still undecided. Logan seemed troubled, but not terrible. Sure, they’d had a rough first encounter, but if it wasn’t for Gina butting in…

That kind of thinking won’t get you anywhere, Sammie conceded as she applied her mascara. It was finally Saturday, and Sammie had been wrestling with the upcoming venture all morning.

As much as she regretted allowing Gina to invite more people, she was still excited. In her experience, friendships weren’t fast. This was practically a speed run, and it was a welcome change in Sammie’s unstable world.

They’d ultimately decided Gina would pick her and Leo up and they’d meet Mally and Andre at a coffee shop downtown. Gina was picking Leo up first, so it didn’t look like there would be any elements of, well, a date, at all.

No time for regret now. Sammie grabbed her lanyard and her phone as she slipped on her shoes before heading out into the living room. Her mother had offered her the other upstairs bedroom, but Sammie had let her use it as an office, opting for the smaller bedroom on the first floor with the wide windows towards the backyard. It felt more…magical. Of course, it didn’t feel magical yet, with almost no decoration and several boxes littering the floor still.

She anxiously stood by the kitchen counter, waiting for Gina’s car to pull up into the driveway. The house was quiet, boxes still stacked up two or three high in every corner of the room, making the whole house feel smaller than it really was. She’d been trying to unpack things after school, but with her mother busy and Sammie unsure of where to put things, her progress had been minimal.

Just then, she heard the rumble of the car pulling up in the driveway. Leo was waving at her from the backseat, and the passenger seat was empty.

Oh, Sammie thought as her stomach did a flip. She…wanted a date, too.

It was a strange feeling, knowing that two people had the same regrets, but they’d made it so they both were disappointed. But there was no time to wait. The air was pierced with the noise of Leo reaching up and honking the horn.

Sammie ran outside, slamming the door behind her. Leave my doubts and fears behind, right?

She opened the car door and sat down. “Hey, Gina, Leo.”

“Hey Sammie!” the two greeted her. “Ready to explore?” Gina asked. Her tone was excited, but Sammie could see something behind her eyes, the tell-tale sign of regret.

“Of course,” she replied, matching Gina’s excited tone.

“Then let’s get this show on the road!” Gina turned around and began pulling out of the driveway.

“Uh, hi, Sammie,” Leo interjected with mock annoyance.

“Hi, Leo,” Sammie answered sarcastically. “I’ve been dying to spend time with you all week, did you know that?”

“Oh really?” he said. “You needn’t flatter me.”

“Really, don’t flatter him. His head’s big enough as it is,” Gina laughed.

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “And pay attention to the freaking road, Gina, geez! You’ll crash your car!”

“Oh, because my track record shows I have a problem with that, does it?” she added slyly.

“Leo!” Sammie gasped. “You crashed a car already?”

“Yeah he did, and it was stupid, the way he did it too. Tell her,” Gina chided.

“I backed into a cart collector in the supermarket parking lot,” he admitted sheepishly. “The car was old enough that it ended up being totalled. I wasn’t hurt.”

“His self-esteem was, and he wasn’t allowed to drive for a month. Plus, he’d had his license for two weeks.” Gina said, laughing.

“What on earth, Leo. How do you even...what?” Sammie was laughing too.

“Shut up, I bet you’ve been in an accident, too.”

“I don’t even have my license,” Sammie admitted. “I’ve moved a ton, plus things just got…busy.” She sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them about her dad yet. It was too fresh in her mind, and she barely knew these people. They weren’t just at that stage yet.

“I’m sure you’ll get it soon,” Gina assured her after a moment of awkward silence. “Anyways, coffee! Best place in town, local place, not some chain. I mean, the chains are good when you’re crunched for time, because they have drive throughs, but this place is the best.”

“What’s it called?” Sammie wasn’t sure if she’d seen the place before.

“Salt & Pepper. Well, technically it’s Zara’s Salt & Pepper Cafe, but most people call it Salt & Pepper.”

“They don’t even have salt or pepper!” Leo cried.

“Yes, they do. It goes with their eggs and shit, their real food, that you never get,” Gina said as she rolled her eyes. “He’s not the brightest,” she said to Sammie.

“Ya think?” she laughed in response. “We’re meeting Mally and Andre there, right?”

“Yeah. Andre lives further away, and Mally works downtown. She said she’d meet us after her shift, so she might be a couple minutes late.”

Just then, Sammie felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out to the side, so no one would see what it said. It was a message from Logan. Turns out, they had English together, and Logan had slipped a note with her number on it to Sammie. She’d debated texting Logan, but she had during her next class. It felt rebellious, secretive, and somehow…betraying. At the same time, it was fun, having a secret. She opened the message.

heyy are you free this weekend?? we could hang out <<3

Sammie glanced back at Gina. There was no way she’d have time after hanging out with her friends, and she’d made her mom promise they’d unpack some more tomorrow.

no, i’m busy this weekend, but i could find time next weekend. sorry </3

She slid her phone back into her pocket. “So, Salt & Pepper? What’s good there?” It felt forced, her lame attempt at conversation, but luckily, neither Gina nor Leo seemed to notice.

“Their mochas are really good, but I’m partial to an iced latte of sorts,” Gina said.

“I like their hot chocolate, and their mochas are really good,” Leo agreed. “They’re so sweet, but not too sweet, y’know?”

Sammie nodded, relieved they’d grabbed her bait. “So what should I get?”

“Mocha, for sure. And you don’t have to wait long. There it is,” Gina said pointing to a building a block away. “I’ll let you guys out before I park.”

She pulled up in front of the squat building before putting the car in park. “Unload, children!”

“Hey, I’m not a children!” Leo cried as they climbed out of the car.

Sammie turned to Leo. “She didn’t say anything…weird…about this, this excursion, this get-together, did she?”

Leo looked at her quizzically. “No?” He shook his head. “C’mon, let’s go get a table. Andre texted me a few minutes ago and said he’d be here in ten.” He turned and headed into the coffee shop.

Sammie hesitated a moment outside. Step through those doors, and it will all be fresh, all be brand new. She decided not to linger on Logan, or regrets, or would-have-beens. Today was not a day for those, but a day for friends and new beginnings. Later, she decided, she could return to those thoughts, but not now. Time to get a mocha and just hang out. Summoning just a tiny bit of courage, she followed through the doors Leo had entered a moment before. No regrets.

[shadedrose01]

Sick Boy

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Jax gets the stomach flu. Peter and Harley take care of him.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 9, sick days, Sickness, stomach flu, Vomiting, Jax is back!!, Jax is Peter and Harleys son, parenting, Peter Parker and Harley Keener are good dads, Established Relationship, Husbands, Love, Family, Family Fluff

Day nine of Febufluff: "Sick Day"!

WARNING: This story contains sickness, and talking about vomiting. There is a scene where Jax throws up. It isn't super graphic, but it's there, so if you dont like vomiting, don't read! Be safe, be comfortable, know your limits. Love y'all <3

--

Peter sat in a meeting when he got the call. He was tapping his pen against his paper absentmindedly, barely listening to the businessman drone on endlessly about stocks and numbers and whatever else he was saying, before his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, hard enough to be felt but not loud enough to disrupt the meeting, thankfully.

It immediately sets Peter on alert though, because his phone was put on to Do Not Disturb, and only three things can push a call through when that's on: Harleys phone, Karen in case of severe emergency... and Jax's phone. None of those options sounded very good, so Peter pulls out the device quickly, making sure to keep it under the desk, still trying to keep his disturbance to a minimum.

Jax's school. Shit. Not the worst thing possible, but still not a good sign. Peter's mind swirls with what could've happened as he motions to one of his coworkers that he's stepping out, picking up the call as soon as he's out the door. Did he get hurt? It wouldn't surprise Peter, Jax could be clumsy. Or he could've gotten into a fight, but that doesnt seem like his Jaxy. Maybe he's being bullied, maybe-

"Hi, is this Peter Parker-Keener?" The callers tone is sickly sweet, and it's already grating on Peter's frayed nerves.

"Yes, it is. Is Jax okay?" He blurts out before he can stop himself, knowing that hes sounding like the stereotypical helicopter parent, constantly worried, but he doesn't care.

The women laughs lightly under her breath, barely noticable to the normal ear but very noticable to Peter, who grits his teeth to stop himself from snapping at the poor woman. She sobers up pretty quickly as she responds, voice softening, "Jax appears to have the stomach flu. Would you be able to come pick him up, Mr. Parker-Keener?"

Peter's stomach drops at the news, his heart aching. Oh, his poor baby. He looks back towards the room he just left, and knows the meeting is important, knows he shouldn't leave unless it's an emergency, but- but family comes first. Always. He nods unconsciously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah of course, I'll be there as soon as possible."

He hangs up the phone and sighs loudly, rubbing at his forehead as a headache starts to form, a pressure building behind his eyes. He types out a quick message to his coworker and to Harley, updating them both on the situation before making his way to his car.

As soon as he shuts the car door, and the car starts up, a call is already lighting up his screen. He automatically puts it through, pulling out of the garage and speeding towards the school.

"Is he okay?" His husband's voice is coated with concern, not even bother with a hello as he gets straight to the point, showing Peter just how worried he truly is. Peter wants to laugh at their overprotectiveness (it's their first and only child, give them a break), but now is definitely not the time.

"I'm not sure, I'm on my way to pick him up now." Peter answers honestly, looking over his shoulder before changing lanes, counting down the minutes until he gets there.

"Do you want me to come too?" He can hear shuffling on the other side, as if Harley was already packing his things.

Peter sighs, fianlly seeing the brick school in the distance. "No, I'm here now. Maybe meet us back home?" He adds on the last part, knowing Harley won't be able to go back to work now.

"Yeah," Harleys voice is still worried, but theres a tinge of relief there now, knowing he's going to be able to help. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you there. Love you."

Peter echoes it back just as he parks, the call ending just as he shuts the car off, exiting it just as quickly as he entered.

He rushes to the main desk, seeing the secretary who Peter guesses is the same person that called him earlier. "Hi, I'm here for Jax Parker-Keener?"

The woman looks up, and smiles a plastic smile that doesnt reach her eyes. "Of course, I just need you to sign him out real quick," Peter fills out the form quickly, antsy to get to his boy, and hands it back to her, "and the nurses office is just down the hallway, first door to the left."

"Thank you," he pushes out before speed walking to the specified door, opening it quickly. His nose scrunches up as the acidic smell of vomit floods his sense, and he swallows the urge to gag, his heart breaking when his eyes land on the little lump curled up on the couch.

Jax has his arms wrapped around his stomach, and his face is all crunched up, eyes closed and beads of sweat on his brow. Hes groaning quietly, squirming slightly, and there's a bucket placed right next to his face that looks likes it already been used. He looks smaller than he has in months, than he has in years.

"Oh baby," Jax blinks his eyes open as soon as the words are out of his mouth, the forest green hazy, barely focusing as he squints at Peter.

"Daddy?"

As soon as Peter hears that croak of a voice, hes on the move, kneeling down in front of his baby and brushing the hair off of his forehead. "Yeah, it's me, bug."

"I don't feel good." He moans, starting to squirm again, and Peter's heart is shattered, stomped into dust, longing to take away all of his son's pain.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're gonna go home now, okay?"

The five year old blinks up at him again, eyes widening with the purest, innocent hope and partial excitement, even though the haze of sickness. "Really?"

Peter gives him a small, sad smile, running a hand through his hair again. "Yeah, baby, we're going home. Come on," He presses a light kiss to his sticky forehead, before pulling him up and into his arms, Jax's body instinctually clinging to his front like a koala, just like he used to when he was a baby, when he was a toddler. Peter holds him up easily, his tiny body nothing to his super strength, and nods once to the nurse who was watching the scene with warm, kind eyes. "Thank you." He mumbles to him quietly, before walking out towards his car, pressing Jax to his chest tightly, protectively.

The ride to their apartment is quiet, quieter than it should be. Jax seems to take after him in the talking sense, he'll talk on and on and on about anything and everything, so to hear him so silent, so quiet...

Just as they pull into the garage, Jax finally speaks up, but what he says makes what's left of Peter's heart stop. "Daddy, I really don't feel good."

"You think you're gonna throw up, buddy?" Peter parks the car in a random spot as he speaks, already scavenging for the plastic bag he knows is by his passengers seat somewhere. The only responce he gets is a wet burp, and Peter scrambles even more, grabbing the plastic bag as soon as it touches his fingers and putting it under Jax's head just in time.

The five year old is gagging, sputtering and sobbing into the plastic bag, looking so pitifully sad, and Peter makes a noise of sympathy, wishing he could do more to help, to make it all go away. But realistically, all he can do is rub the boy's back, and whisper soothing things. "Its okay, bud, let it all out, it's alright."

Once the episode has passed and Jax leans back from the bag, Peter grabs the sleeve of his dress shirt and wipes off his face gently, both of tears and of vomit, knowing that he's staining the shirt but not really caring in the moment. He then ties the bag up, and gets out of the car, unclipping Jax and picking him up again, swaying him gently as he continues to whine and sniffle, shushing him softly.

When they make it up to the apartment, Harley is already there, waiting for them, looking anxious. As soon as his sky blue eyes find Jax, attached to Peter's hip, his entire face softens with sympathy and tenderness. "Hey bubba."

"Papa!" Jax whimpers, bottom lip stuck out and wobbling, face red and tear stained. He holds out a hand, and Harley moves instantly, taking him from Peter's grip and hugging him tightly, bouncing him slowly.

"Shh, I got ya, tesoro." He murmurs quietly, shifting his hold before looking up at Peter with a small smile, already tired eyes. "Hey. I picked up some medicine on the way over here." He nods his head back towards the kitchen, before leaning it against Jax's, holding him a little closer.

"You're a lifesaver." Peter responds, pecking him quickly on the lips before walking to the kitchen to get the medicine ready.

"You're only figuring that out now?" Peter just rolls his eyes at his husband's cheekiness, laughing lightly.

He pours out the medicine, and Jax takes it with very little fuss (read: a few more whines and a few split tears), before they all cuddle together on to the couch, turning on on a movie. Not even ten minutes in, Jax let's out a big yawn, snuggling in closer to Harleys hip, his eyes half lidded, and another ten minutes later, he's out like a light. Peter isn't surprised, it's been a long day for the poor boy. He looks up, and sees Harley staring down at him too, a warm glow to his eyes, a smile tilting his lips. Peter just presses a kiss to his husband's forehead, and shuffles closer, placing his head onto his shoulder.

This day may not have got according to plan, but with his husband and his son at his side, he wouldn't want it any other way.

[thatssonanii]

Just the Two of Us (12)

HAHN AU

After lunch Melissa rode with Benny and Lainey since Marcie was headed back to Maxine. Despite her telling them they didn't have to, the siblings walked her up to her apartment and stepped inside.

"Your place is very," Lainey paused looking around, "Put together."

Melissa snorted plopping down on the sofa, "Wasn't any of my doing. It was his mom."

Before they could go any further, Jeffrey slid his feet into the main area of the apartment with a scowl on his face. He walked over to toss a card to her and turned back around not caring that it fell on the floor. Melissa started to pick it up but Benny got to it first.

"Aye, don't throw shit at no woman. Fuck is wrong witchu?"

Lainey politely stepped out of her brother's way going to sit beside her friend. Jeffrey turned back around, the scowl still on his face.

"How about you mind your got damn business and get out of my place."

Benny held the card up between them, "Don't throw shit at no woman. Hand it to her."

"I'm not handing shit to her. You can if you want to and then get the hell out."

Laughing a little, Benny's free hand went to his throat. He squeezed then lifted the smaller man off the ground. Lainey had to stop her friend from getting up, her intervening wouldn't make Benny let him go and Lainey knew it.

"You heard what I said. I don't fuckin repeat myself," Benny said through gritted teeth, "Do what I said or Ima toss you the way you tossed this card."

Benny held him up a few seconds longer then let him go and held the card out. Jeffrey took it for him and went to hold it out to Melissa with a shaky hand then left the room quickly.

"Hes gonna be so mad when yall leave," Melissa laughed.

Benny shrugged. "You got my number, call if you need me to break his jaw."

"Break his jaw?"

"Yeah," Benny nodded a small smirk on his face. "I break jaws and I break backs. Depends on my mood."

Lainey stood up quickly groaning, "See, uhn uhn that's nasty. Let's go, Benjamin."

Benny laughed at both females reactions. Melissa sat there looking stuck, just staring at him. He winked at her ignoring his sister pulling his arm.

"Ima get outta here and get my lil baby home. But you call me, aight?"

Melissa nodded. "Alright, Benny."

"Your lil baby is ready to go," Lainey sassed, "Bring your ass on, Romeo."

Benny dropped her off at the house then went to his office to check on the paperwork the secretary said he needed to look over. To be honest, he had been avoiding going to his tow yard. He was still extremely angry with Mitch but he didn't want to get carried away and kill him. He was ruthleess but he wasn't stupid.

Seeing the old Honda made him roll his eyes but he got out anyway and went inside the office. He stopped by the secretary's desk to pick up the folder with his name on it then headed back to the larger office. Mitch got up from his desk when he saw his friend wall into their shared office.

"Benny, I been callin you. I wanna talk and make this right." Mitch sputtered out quickly.

"You wanna talk," Benny scoffed tossing the folder onto his desk, "Talk about how you groped my lil baby in the one place she's supposed to be safe?"

Mitch sighed, "You have every right to be pissed, I get it. I was drunk and not thinking I'm sorry."

Benny swung at the slightly taller man, hitting him in his mouth. "Keep that bullshit ass apology. You thought she was gon let you do it and give in but my sister smarter than them females you be dealing with."

Mitch doubled over and held his jaw, "Dammit, B! Chill!"

Ignoring him, Benny charge at his former friend knocking him over and started to assault him. Though Mitch was bigger in stature, Benny was much stronger and it showed. Mitch was pretty much powerless in the fight. Satisfied with what he'd done, Benny got up and dusted himself off. He went to his desk to sign the paperwork leaving his unconscious ex friend on the floor and left when he was finish. Benny knew he didn't have enough money to buy Much outta his half of their business but when he did, Mitch was a good as gone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months later and things were going smoothly. Fortunately for Jeffrey's jaw, he had been cordial with Melissa so Benny didn't have to make any visits. But that didn't stop her from talking to him on the phone almost every night, and taking him lunch a few times a week. Mitch's brusies had finally healed and he came back to work full time but he was rarely in the office with Benny. Caleb had moved into the house, Benny and Lainey didn't protest it, they were trying for the sake of their mother to have a better relationship with him. Lainey had spent those months getting her salon prepared and decorated, finally she was finished. It was time for her party to celebrate the night before opening.

"Girl, you did a good ass job in here," Marcie exclaimed hugger her friend.

"Thank you, girl. I couldnt have done it without Benny. He was actually pretty helpful."

Marcie looked around. "Where is he anyway? I figired he might have been with Melissa but she's over there with your mom."

Lainey shrugged, "He said he had to pick up my gifts. He should be here in a little while though."

"Aaah, okay. So how does it feel to have your own salon? Its all yours, girl."

Lainey laughed, "Its not mine till I pay for it completely but I'm excited. I've wanted this for forever."

"What do you mean? Girl, I already know about it being paid off."

"What? No its not," Lainey frowned. "I haven't paid for this."

Charles crept up behind her smiling and spoke softly. "But I did."

Jumping, Lainey turned around with a smile on her face. She accepted his hug enjoying his arms around her then pulled away and hit his arm.

"Charles, did you really pay for this?"

He nodded. "Yes ma'am, I did."

"But why? Charles, that's a lot of money."

"To you it might be," he replied moving a piece of hair from her face, "But to me no amount of money is too much. Think of it as a gift from your man."

Melissa came over at the end of his statement and nudged Marcie.

"Ooop, don't let Benny find out his lil baby got a man," she joked.

Marcie laughed, "That vein in his neck gon burst open in here."

Lainey flipped them off the turned back to Charles. "I dont know what to say but thank you. I'll pay it back."

Charles kissed her forehead, "Pay me back by letting me take you to dinner tomorrow after you close."

Lainey agreed just as his phone started to ring. He let her know he was going to step back into her office to take the call. While he was gone the ladies talked amongst each other and the other party goers. Tilda went to grab her niece's hand and led her over to her parents.

"We are so proud of you, babygirl. You've wanted this since you were young and you got it." Caleb reminisced. He moved in to hug her and for the first time in a while she didn't reject him.

Hanna was next, she squeeezed her daughter tight and rocked them from side to side before letting go. "You just don't know how happy and proud I am of you, little girl. And I didn't forget about my trip to Aruba either."

Lainey laughed and nodded. "Yes ma'am. You know Ima still take you."

Thirty minutes went by before Benny walked in with a big smile on his face. He cut the music down then gathered everybody around excitedly.

"You ready for ya gift, Lainey?" He asked.

"Yees! I been waiting all night for it."

Benny laughed, "Its only been an hour since the party started, drama queen. But I got you something that will make this evening feel complete. You ready?"

Lainey nodded wondering what her brother could have possibly gotten her. He had already made sure she had everything in the salon and then some. Benny told her and their mama to close their eyes then went to open the door.

"Aight, on the count of three open your eyes. Yall count with me."

....1

......2

........3

Mother and daughter opened their eyes and screamed. Cameron and Zion stood before them smiling. Cameron had to catch their mama from falling and pulled her into a hug. Lainey jumped on Zion holding onto him for dear life. Both women cried happy tears.

"My babies," Hanna called out. "Oh thank you, Jesus! My babies are all here!"

"We home, Ma," Cameron told her pulling away. "We home for good."

Lainey switched with her mama and hugged Cameron tight then went to hug Benny thanking him. The brothers hugged their father and aunt as the the party went back to normal. Melissa and Marcie stood off to the side watching the reunion.

"I see you," Melissa said filling her cup with punch.

"You see me what?"

"I see you looking at her brother. You over there undressing him with your eyes. For shame," she teased.

Marcie laughed nervously. "Oh whatever, I was just watching them hug. It was beautiful."

"You don't gotta lie to me."

"Look here, Ms. He said he breaks backs and I want him to break mine," Marcie spat playfully. "I'm married not blind."

"Mmmhmmm...not too much longer it looks like."

Finally done with his call, Charles rejoined the party and went straight to Lainey. He kissed her cheek letting her know he was back.

"Hey hey whoa. Who is you and why you kissing on my baby sister?" Cam asked quickly pulling his sister towards him and his brothers.

Zion wiped her cheek off and glared at him.

Benny laughed and he folded his arms across his chest. He told everybody he was nice brother, now they were about to find out one by one.

"My apologies, I'm Charles Frederickson. Nice to finally meet you two," Charles said with a genuine smile on his face.

"You the governor, ain't you?" Zion asked.

"Yeah," Charles nodded with a slight laugh, "That's me. And no I don't have more important shit to do. Your sister takes priority as long as it isn't life or death."

"Mmhm," Cameron mumbled. "So why are your lips on my sister?"

Benny jumped in, "He call himself with a thing for her. She been talkin to him a lot."

"Hmm, is that so?" Zion asked.

"Benny's right, I definitely have a thing for your sister. I asked her to make things official bit ahe said I had to go through the three of you first. So," Charles chuckled, "This time is as good as any. I'd love to date your siste, make things official. Can I have your blessing?"

Cameron and Zion stared at him and Benny answered. "Give us some time to think about it. We'll let you know, man."

"Fair enough," He nodded. "I'm gonna go grab some food and let you yall catch up. Lainey, come find me when you're done."

Charles smiled at her before walking off. Lainey started to follow him but Cam pulled her back.

"Bring ya lil hot ass back here. Where he come from?"

Lainey shrigged still smiling. "I met him when I did the Firat Lady and her family's hair. Isn't he sweet?"

"No," all three brothers answered.

"Look at you all giddy and blushing," Zion said, "Uhn uhn, we gotta check him out first. Aint no fool taking advantage our our baby."

Lainey pouted looking at her brother. "Don't run him away like yall did the other boys. That's why nobody wanted to date me, they was scared of yall."

"Anybody that got scared by us being normal big brothers ain't good enough for you," Benny assured her kissing her head.

Lainey folded her arms, "Yall always threatened to shoot them."

"Okay and?" Cam asked shrugging.

After the party was over, Lainey and her siblings stayed behind to clean everything up. Charles, Marcie and Melissa offered to help but were denied. The clean up was almost finshed when the door chimed and opened.

"Who the fuck," Benny's voice trailed off seeing their estranged sister standing there. "What is your ass doing here, Candace?"

"Nice to see you to, B." She laughed. "Ooh Cam, Zion, yall are out. Good to see yall too. It's been years."

Lainey stepped forward, "He asked you a question. Why are you here? You know you're not welcome around us."

Candace sucked her teeth, "No need for the attitude, Alaina. I jist wanted to come see my family and congratulate you."

"Uhuh, you've seen is and said your peace. Leave." Lainey demanded.

Candace looked around the salon and whistled lowly. "This is nice. I wonder what or who you had to do to get this."

"I'm not you, I worked legitimately for this, Candace."

"You're right about one thing. You're not me and could never be me, little girl. You're just a reject."

Benny pulled his little sister behind him knowing she was about to pounce. His older brothers watched the scene unfold, they wanted to see how Benny handled it. They knew he'd grown into an even better man than he was before he went to jail. He'd been handling everything in his own for years now and they were proud.

"Leave and don't bring ya ass back here or anywhere near us. You know I don't repeat myself, now go before I let her beat ya ass lies she did last time."

Candace scrunched her nose up at him and started to back away laughing. "No need to be so hostile, I just wanted to give yall a gift "

"Leave," Benny barked loudly.

Candace noddee and headed towards the door. She stepped out then stepped back in with her son. She pushed him towards them with a scowl on her face.

"Since yall moved out the hood and doing better figured yall would want that. Have him," she shrugged the turned to leave.

Lainey rushed to the the five year old and picked him up. "Lil Q, baby. Where have you been?"

He looked at her stragely for a second. "I dont know."

"Do you remember me?"

Taking a few moments to stare at her, he slowly started to nod and smile formed on his face. "Auntie!"

The brothers watched the moment with mixed feelings. They were glad their nephew was back with them nut they knew Camdace wasn't just giving him to them to be nice. She was planning something and they were going to figure out what.