#i dont post on ao3 for a month and pull up with THIS SHIT

[damianbugs]

if u follow me on twitter you might be aware of the newest brain infection i have been in an intense battle of the wills with. something i am going to call the "dark evil not evil insane mean not rude asshole kind bruce au" (title pending). it was supposed to be a short oneshot based on a dream (nightmare) i had where jason travels to a dimension where bruce was a batman who killed, had no family, lived completely secluded from others and was manifesting his fears externally rather than the canon-verse of internalising everything.

he wears tactical gear, a black mask that covers his entire face. the bat symbol is a geometric shape of blades across his bulletproof armour. he knocks jason out with the back of his gun the first time they meet, immediately. bruce wayne is legally dead, btw, but that's like, the least important thing, somehow.

i hate him a lot. i know him personally. he's going to be brought up in my next therapy appointment. my bff, if you will. i need him dead!

it has now become the longest oneshot i have ever written and it doesn't seem. to be ending. anytime soon. free me.

[an-au-blog]

that holiday zs is coming along WAY too different than the first draft, so imma just post those initial 4k on here bc i just really dont wanna scrap them completely (the intro is kinda the same as the actual fic im posting on ao3 but yk...)

enjoy :))

(this is the actual posted one btw https://archiveofourown.org/works/61647757/chapters/157594045)

The winter months were approaching like a persistent storm, knocking on the doorstep. As vicious as both weather and time, the invites and passive-aggressive messages started again.

It was always "you have to come home for the holidays" and "if you don't come, father will be disappointed," but Sanji hated every family gathering. The fact that he was contractually obligated to go to at least one was disgusting. And even more so that Judge pulled his strings to push him into going to this Christmas party.

Just before he was about to leave his phone, adamant not to answer his sister's texts, her name was displayed again. She was calling him.

Shit... he couldn't ignore her now...

Taking a deep breath, he braced himself. "Hey, Reiju."

"Hello, Sanji." Her greeting sounded as cold as ever.

"I know what you're calling for."

"You do?" Even questions sounded closer to statements out of her lips.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you already know my answer. Did Judge put you up to this?" He never liked getting angry at her, it was not her fault, but he couldn't hide the way he felt.

"Sanji," her voice softened just a tad. "I'm sorry that our father moved the dates for the charity event, there was no way he could have known you wouldn't be in town."

"Don't lie to me. That man planned it, I know him." Sanji was itching for a cigarette. His hands trembled in fury as he opened the box and pulled one out. "He knows I wouldn't be caught dead on more than one Vinsmoke social money-parade! That charity event was the only thing I could stand by willingly and he knew that." He lit his smoke and inhaled the thick scent of it, calming. "And don't call him that, he is no father of mine. I can't recall one time where he acted like one."

"There are two years until the contract is over, please don't do anything to anger him... I don't think he actually wants to see you go."

Sanji couldn't help the sharp and humorless laugh escaping him. "As soon as my restaurant is "payed off" I can promise you, he won't be seeing any of me. It's actually funny to me how his greatest failure is his most qualified employee." 

"Sanji..."

"Whatever, I'm going." He put out his cigarette. "Not like I have any choice." The man grumbled.

"Oh, and one more thing." She paused a bit, perhaps waiting for an answer but continued before Sanji did. "It would be wise to bring a date."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't sound teasing or happy. "Just... trust me. And make it convincing."

The line went dead.

Well she never stopped being ominous

Lighting up a second cigarette, Sanji thought on what she said. Perhaps, she was right, if he took someone it could be more tolerable.

But then the problem was, who?

He couldn't take any lady, he wouldn't dare to put a woman through that torture. And it wasn't like he had a lot of friends either. Between helping at the restaurant and slaving away at the Germa company, he didn't have much time to socialize.

He needed someone who would piss off his family and would not be put off by them. He couldn't take any of the cooks... There was Luffy, but Sanji was sure he would try to kill them on sight and as satisfying as that sounded, he couldn't risk anything so close to the finish line.

After an agitatingly long consideration, Sanji took out his phone. Downloading the most popular dating app, he created a profile.

Name:

He furrowed his brows. Considering how this should be approached. Fuck it.

Name: Mr. Prince

Age: 21

Bio: I'm not here to date, I need a fake boyfriend for my annoying Christmas party. If you can hold your own and want a free meal hmu.

He considered not putting a photo, as he wasn't sure if anyone would recognize him from Judge's PR stunts. Sanji opted to taking a picture of his hand holding a cigarette. It might look edgy, it might look suspicious, but he had hit rock bottom a while ago and he was not above pulling out a pickaxe/sledgehammer. //idk which one i should put or do i put smth at all v smsl da e kato "he hit rock bottom but hes ready to go lower"

He scrolled through a couple of profiles, accepting all of them with very little ones he didn't swipe to accept, killing time until it was time yo go to the restaurant.

.

Not even ten minutes into the shift, Sanji had to turn his phone's sound and vibrations off. The constant buzzing was more irritating than Carne's unstoppable blabbering. 

Sanji's smoke break could not have come faster.

With a cigarette in hand, he held his phone in the other. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect... Dick pic, dick pic, a comment about his "slim fingers wrapped around-", alright this was disheartening. He lingered on a profile that looked a bit too suspicious - no photo of the person's face, wasn't in a single frame, just a beautiful orange cat. But reading the bio of the person, Sanji decided to keep on looking, he might be too polite for his family's prodding. 

There was another man. He looked, and Sanji was putting this lightly, like a criminal... Or a homeless criminal. Maybe he could give it a shot. He read the man's message.

Gin: I'm down if you're down ;)

Sanji knew better than to be hopeful, but giving it a shot, he typed out and clicked send.

Mr. Prince: down for what?

The ping sounded with the response of the man and it almost made Sanji's cigarette fall on the ground. He had never clicked the block button faster. What a creep.

Checking a few other profiles, he had started to get pissed off. He didn't have much more time left and he was on his third sig, one last profile and he would stop for now. His fingers were going to freeze and he was starting to worry it would snow soon. 

Zoro: will there be booze

Sanji clicked his tongue and if he wasn't searching for someone impudent, he would have blocked him just to be petty. But that was probably a good sign. Scrolling though the man's profile told him a few things. Firstly he put his full legal name, so he was either naïve or didn't care much. He hoped it was the ladder. God how he hoped. Zoro, apparently, was well built and even though it said nothing, from the few pictures, Sanji could tell that he did some kind of martial arts. If he was guessing correctly, that would be a safe bet as to where he had gotten all those scars as well, including the one on his face. And that was the other thing: he only had two pictures and both of them were clearly taken by other people. The first one was of him at a bar with two other men, the backs of their heads only visible. It was quite cinematic, enough to make Sanji a bit suspicious if it wasn't just some screenshot from an indie film or something. The second picture was of him in front of a ramen shop, he was laughing at something off screen in a relaxed manner that both exuded confidence and filled Sanji with an ache for the social life he would usually never mourn. 

Going back to the chat, he didn't give himself much time to think of a response. 

"EGGPLANT! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE!" Zeff's voice echoed.

Typing out a quick response, he pocketed his phone.

"Yeah, yeah, you old geezer! Can the restaurant not burn down every time I look away?" Sanji snapped back.

Zeff laughed. "You've always been funny, little eggplant."

Sanji could hear Patty and Carne snickering. "You- " He could feel his face burning. "Stop calling me that!" Hissing out. "And you two back there better stop laughing, I am the sous-chef, I can fire you!"

"Nah, you won't." Patty smirked.

"You'll always be my little eggplant." Zeff said with a far too fond smile. Damn it old man, how could Sanji stay angry at him?

With a tisk, He rolled up his sleeves again and went back to work.

.

By the end of his shift, he felt as exhausted as ever. The cook hadn't even noticed when he reached his apartment, or his room for that matter. 

He took out his phone to set up another alarm, unsure if he would be able to wake up after his usual two.

Shit. He forgot he texted that guy.

He opened the chat.

Zoro: will there be booze

Mr. Prince: yeah, if you suffer through at least half of it

Zoro: if you dont wanna go so bad just dont

Zoro: also i hope you know ur acc looks like a bot

Zoro: still not sure its not

Damn it, he forgot to answer... At that point it was probably too late for Zoro to answer, but he had to answer now, if he didn't want to leave if for the morning in fear of forgetting again.

Mr Prince: sorry, I just got off work

Zoro: u deff don't sound like a bot atm

Mr Prince: I'm not? a bot??

Zoro: haha even ur responses look like a bot

Zoro: aight, was fun mr botman

Zoro: bye now

Mr Prince: WAIT!!!

Mr Prince: STUPID MARIMO HEAD COME BACK HERE

Mr Prince: FUCK YOUUUU

Mr Prince: GOD YOU RE SUCH A PRICK

Sanji was gripping his phone with anger. He couldn't believe this man was able to annoy him this much with so little words. If his brothers and father had anything in common with him, he would be able to get out of any conversation as long as he stuck with this man. It was a double edged sword, sure, but then again, he wouldn't have to deal with his family. He would chose any stranger over them.

He typed it something, just to delete it again. And again. Again... Damn it, the guy probably already blocked him. Or unmatched him, in any case, it wasn't like anything he wrote from then on would matter. he wouldn't see it.

Mr Prince: sorry

Before Sanji could close his phone, he saw the three dots that indicated the other was typing.

Zoro: damn ur so desperate for me

Sanji could feel his head heat up from anger and... Fuck this guy! What an asshole!

Mr Prince: I take it back.

Mr Prince: Go fuck yourself.

Zoro: no thanks

Zoro: s why i got this app

Mr Prince: ?

Zoro: idc abt relationships but being taken out and getting a good hookup after is easy here

Zoro: whatever tho

Zoro: were u srs abt the alcohol party

Mr Prince: yes

Zoro: cool

Zoro: when and where

Sanji could have gotten whiplash at how fast the conversation switched its tune, but nonetheless, he was too tired to get angrier. Needing this to end, he huffed a sigh and responded.

Mr Prince: It would be best if we meet and talk it out in person

Zoro: k

Mr Prince: Do you know Camie's Cafe? If you are free, we can go this Thursday at around 10.

Zoro: sure

Zoro: damn ur basic

Zoro: coffee date and superslims

Zoro: cant wait to see what ur hipsterass wears

Mr Prince: I am one second away from kicking your face in

Zoro: id like to see u try

Zoro: never been challenged by a failed pinterest collage

Zoro: ig theres a first for everything

The cook knew that answering would only rile him up more and encourage the man, so he ignored him instead. To make sure that he didn't put all his hopes on this overgrown house plant, he went back to looking though his other matches. Pitifully little serious ones. Half asleep he barely managed to go though them before passing out in his work clothes.

.

Thursday had come far too fast.

The snow was piling up and the little sparkling lights were being hung from traffic lights and leafless trees. Sanji looked at his phone - he was five minutes early. 

He fidgeted with his gloves before entering, nervous. 

The little bell on the top of the door rung, only making his anxiety spike even more. He scanned the tabled and felt himself able to breathe again when he didn't see the person he needed to meet. Going up to the counter, Sanji flashed a bright smile at the barista.

"Camie, my lovely flower!" He sighed theatrically. "How are you, this fine morning?" 

"Oh! Hey, Sanji, I'm doing great. Hopefully, you are too!" The girl behind the counter gave him a friendly smile.

"Ah, well, I'm great! Never been better! Even though I fear that now that I saw you, my day has reached it's peak." 

She laughed. "You say the silliest things."

His smile felt a bit less fake. Having to make a pretty lady laugh always made him feel a bit better. t least he could improve someone else's day...

"Hey, Casanova." A rude voice said behind him. "Are you gonna order or just take up the line space?" 

Sanji turned around to see some guy. He was muscular and with an ugly scowl hiding behind glasses. The man was still wearing his winter hat but had his jacket unzipped and had nothing but a tank top with a low cut underneath. 

"Eyes up here, dartbrow." He snarled.

Sanji looked behind the man, to see that there was no one else waiting. "You can shove your shitty attitude and the rest of the non-existing line up yours, cave man."

"Caveman?" He raised an eyebrow.

Damn, he looked familiar. "Yeah, one who talks big shit and wastes all my time picking fights with random people, like a prick."

"By the time it took you to flirt and throw meaning less blabber at me, you both of us would have gotten our drinks and been out of here."

"Whatever. I don't have time for idiots today." He turned to Camie, who in turn had been using the time of their bickering to make his usual drink. Bless her heart, women really were angels sent from above.

"Thank you, love." He smiled at her, leaving a big tip and the money for his order. Sitting down on a table for two, he took out his phone to text this Zoro guy. He must have been running late, because there was no one in line after the other guy and it was already five past ten.

Mr Prince: Did you arrive?

A familiar ping was heard from next to the counter. Sanji did not look up, as he saw the three dots indicating that Zoro was typing.

Zoro: Yeah

Zoro: ordering something and sitting down

Zoro: some poppas stick figure was holding up the line

Sanji froze on the spot. He was afraid to look up, but not too fond of reading the next message either. Shit... could it be? Did he actually have that much of bad luck?

Zoro: r u here btw

Zoro: ???

With great reluctance, Sanji looked up to the spot at the counter where the man was standing. He was now looking straight at him. Expression blank, just... staring.

He had taken off his glasses and hat, revealing the short green hair that was so prominent in the pictures on his profile. He looked so different when he wasn't smiling and wearing glasses or maybe it was just that Sanji had the talent to make his own life miserable...

The man typed out something on his phone, breaking eye-contact for a mere second, hitting send just to look Sanji in the eye when his phone pinged. A feral grin split his face as he approached Sanji's table.

The cook glanced down to see the notification saying "i think i c u" and cursed himself a bit.

"So what was the plan, exactly..." Zoro crossed his arms, making Sanji's eyes dart to his chest. And now that he was looking, really looking, the man was... handsome to say the least. He had a sharp jaw, he was toned and his chest was wide and muscly, squished like that it almost resembled breasts... 

"What, is this a hook up thing or are you actually a scam artist..." Zoro said again, drawing Sanji out of his daze. He was no longer smiling, genuinely pissed off.

The cook's eyes involuntarily darted to the man's chest once more, double, triple take, because damn he was big when he had his arms crossed like that.

"You got a problem with eye-contact there, buddy?" Zoro snarled once more,

If Sanji didn't feel like he had a nosebleed coming along just from looking at him, he would have jumped at the chance to fight him. But bleeding before the fight was far too humiliating. "S- sorry. It's had to- give me a second." He covered his nose and mouth with his hand and looked at anything and everything that wasn't in Zoro's direction. "It's not a "hook up thing", I actually need a fake date..." Sanji kept on looking away.

When he got no response, he dared to look at the man in front of him again. With great displeasure, he found he was giving him the most disbelieving and annoyed look known to man kind.

"Hey!" Sanji shouted. "What the hell is that look for!"

The brute rolled his eye. "This all seems like too much trouble. Why shouldn't I just leave?"

"Because you're here in the first place and if I'm right, your not the type to fo things half-assed."

Zoro smirked.

"And uh..." Sanji looked away. "It's in two days and I don't have time to look for anyone else."

Zoro's smirk disappeared. "Before I give you a yes or no, I need to see your hand."

"What!?" Sanji squeeked. Shrinking into himself as heads started tiring to them.

"Hand." Zoro extended his palm in expectation.

"This is so demeaning." Sanji sighed. He gave his left hand letting the mosshead take it. The cook wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't to have his hand held with warm hands being turned this way and that. Despite the unhappy look on the man's face, Zoro was... surprisingly gentle.

"No."

"No?" Sanji echoed.

"The other one." He looked at the cook with such determination that it was hard to say anything in response. Speechless, Sanji placed his other hand into thw gentle, rough hands. He watched Zoro look at his hand, running his finger over the knuckle of his thumb. A small smile, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't staring at Zoro, appeared on his face. It was such a faint thing and yet it softened the man's face, suddenly, the beautiful man in those pictures was in front of Sanji.

"Okay." Zoro hummed. He looked up at the cook again.

He was still holding Sanji's hand.

"Okay, what?" The blond pulled his hand away, regretting the loss of the other's warmth immediately. His face felt hot.

"I'll do it. Your family thing."

"Oh? Great!" Sanji beamed. "I prepared a little... uh... thing." He took out a piece of paper. "Before that, I just want to say we should probably put down some boundaries. Whatever you do is fine if it'll help with the convincing. Please do tour best not to get into any physical altercations..."

"They've said I look aggressive but-"

"No, no. It's... well, my brothers are kind of assholes to put it lightly. I really don't give a fuck how you treat them, but leave my sister out of it."

Despite the fact that Zoro's lack of reaction, Sanji decided to continue.

"I took out a few questions to make this more believable. So if we can memorize a few facts about each other-"

"What?" Zoro shot his eye to the blond.

"What."

"You want me to study for this thing? Why would I want to deal with shitty people and-"

"I'll pay you."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched ever the slightest. But Sanji knew. He was interested. Or at least that was what Sanji hoped it was.

"I can pay you if you survive at least two hours at the party. And if you don't fuck anything up for me and convince them well enough of course."

.

Zoro hummed. If it was enough to cover his debt to the witch... Damn it. He was going to do it in anyway, but this was a very welcome bonus.

"How much are we talking?" Zoro asked.

"You sound like a loan shark."

The green haired man almost chuckled at the irony.

"I'm kind of in a tight spot, myself... so how does a thousand berry sound?"

"A thousand?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

The blond looked at him with slight disappointment at himself. "No? How about two thousand?"

Damn... Zoro never considered this guy could be rich. "And the free booze?"

"Of course."

Zoro did a half-nod. He reached over and grabbed the paper from the man's hands. "Okay, let's get this over with." He put on his glasses and squinted for a moment as he was reading. "These are some of the dumbest questions I've- what is this?" He looked up at Curlybrows with a mocking smile. "What is this, some kind of "need to know basis to know my lover" questionnaire?" He cleared his throat and started reading. "Number three - Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Oh. Or this one -" He pointed at the list as if the other could see what he was showing. "The eighth one: Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common." He laughed. "We just met."

The blond's face became a bright red. 

"Oh my God, it is..."

The blond snatched the list out of the green-haired man's hands and stood up. With angry and hurried movements he got dressed and left the building.

Ah. Fuck.

Zoro left his things and ran out after the man. "Hey, wait." He tried but the other seemed to ignore him. He realized he had no idea what the other other person's name was. "Prince!" He yelled, a few meters away. 

The snow was starting to pile up, lightly raining and falling on his bare shoulders. It was starting to sting a little, not that it bothered him.

"Prince, wait! Curlybrows, hold on, I'm sorry, okay-" Zoro put a hand on the other's shoulder.

In a flash of movement, unknown how, when or from where, Zoro felt something conecting with his jaw. Painful and unexpected. Zoro stumbled back, if it was him just an year ago, he would have fallen flat on his ass, whatever- whatever hit him-

He looked at the blond man in front of him - leg held in the air and a mean look.

"Fuck off!"

If it weren't all hanging on a thread, Zoro would have tried sparing with the man, but not the place or time... "Curly, look, we're not gonna get to know each other from a morning of twenty-one questions." He dusted himself off, standing up.

The silence he got as an answer was enough to make him continue.

"Clear a day and find a less crowded place and I'll tell you what you want to know." The blond opened his mouth to speakbugot cut off. "What you want to know. Not some pop quiz."

Curlybrows sealed his mouth into a thin line and huffed. "Fine." He shuffled a bit before continuing. "Go back inside before you freez to death."

"I'm fine." Zoro rolled his eye.

"Sure." A sarcastic snarl.

.

It was almost a year ago.

Zoro was used to going to Luffy's crazy parties, it was a best friend's duty to make sure he didn't break his skull. For some reason, that new year's eve party, Luffy had decided to invite everyone he knows.

It was a mess to say the least.

Zoro lost Luffy in the sea of people within the first hour. He wasn't too worried though, because as far as he heard, he was somewhere with Usopp and that man had as much self-preservation as Luffy had energy. He was at least sure that they weren't going to have to call a hospital this time.

A bit into the night, he remembered a firy ginger-haired girl who bet that she could out-drink him. She introduced herself as Nami, monopolizing the bar area. To her credit - she already seemed a bit buzzed, so when he won, he wasn't too surprised. True, it was her girlfriend, who had called it quits, but it wasn't like she would have lasted much longer anyway.

Zoro had never been a light weight, but the girl had some backbone on her and had him swaying a bit near the end of their drink-off.

He wasn't drunk. No. He could remember almost everything from that night and he had full control of his body. It was just that his brain to mouth filter was even shorter and his reactions seemed slightly slower.

Nonetheless, it was fine.

It was more than fine because that night was about to become the most amazing night in his life.

Umsure of where he was going, Zoro walked around the house, looking for Luffy. There was no sight of him in the past hour or so and it starting to worry the man.

He stood in the midst of one of the larger rooms, looking around. He felt someone bump into him. By the time he had to turn around and see who it was, Zoro barely managed to dodge a knee to his stomach.

There was a blond man in front of him, the most vibrant blue eyes and soft-looking lips, redness in his cheeks and a heaviness in his eyelids - he was clearly drunk. And yet, the blond looked ready to murder him. What a sight.

"Watch where're goin'... " The man slurred his speech.

Zoro didn't have the time to say anything before someone else bumped into them, causing the fall of a plate that Zoro hadn't noticed im the other's hands.

The blond looked down at the fallen food, his eyes quickly becoming red and wet with unshed tears. "Who's gonna eat my cooking now?" He sniffled. " 's all y'ur fault!" He poked at Zoro.

Not minding the comment, Zoro grabbed the plate and knelt down and started collecting the dropped food off the ground. It looked like some kind of pastrie. One of it was stepped on, chocolate spilling from it's side.

When Zoro stood up again, he pretended not to notice that he was being tracked by the bright blue eyes. The blond man reached out to take the plate but stopped when he saw Zoro grabbing a handfull of the pasties and starting to eat them. Not leaving one on the plate, Zoro expected to get scolded for eating dirty food, or maybe the man was drunk enough to get mad for having his food eaten.

But no, he was just watching the other with wide eyes.

"I wanna kiss you..." The blond said, barely above a whisper.

And since his body seemed to move faster than his brain, "You're beautiful" was all Zoro could say in response.

"I'm really tired." After a small pause. "How was it?"

"Delicious. I hate chocolate." Before the blond could comprehend thw comment, Zoro continued. "You made those?"

"Yeah." He nodded. Adorable. " 'm a chef!"

"No wonder you're Luffy's friend." Zoro laughed.

"Imma get my own rest'rant soon!" His eyes sparked. " 's gonna be big an' blue, an' we'll never leave anyone hungry."

Zoro raised an eyebrow, apparently an indication for the other to continue. Small side steps out of the way of one or another person had them somehow on one of the couches. The blond leaning in, enthusiastically talking about cooking with a passion that filled Zoro with warmth he hadn't felt in a while. Even though the drowsiness and fatigue of the night, the man carried on with the intricacies of each dish, product or cooking utensil.

Half-asleep on Zoro's chest, still talking, letting the green-haired man pay with his right hand. Commiting to memory every little cut and mole - like the one on his thumb, or the little calluses on his fingers from holding a knife for hours on end.

When he looked out to see there was snow piling, he couldn't care for it much. He'd never felt warmer.

In the morning, Zoro had gotten up to roam about the house in search of something to drink. One of the things he regretted most. The next thing he knew, he was coming back to an empty couch and Luffy - stuffing his face with eggs that smelled far too amazing to be made by him.

"Luffy, where did the blond cook go?"

Still chewing, Luffy grinned. " 'oro! 'Anji 'e't 'or 'ork."

He left for work?

Zoro had been resigned to the thought of never seeing him again. All until he saw a familiar looking hand on an app he hadn't used in months. But it couldn't be him, right? That would be too good to be true.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MACCC!! for the fanfic ask game thing. ummm i don't know a specific word 2 send but i am intrigued. eyes emoji. (<<on computer and do not want 2 look up emojis just to copy/paste one) what r u writing!!! what's ur fav passage in it so far!!!! i wanna hear abt ur writing!!!!

omg whiskey i forgot we were not mutuals while i was in my fanfic writing arc. omg. i have not written a fic since we became mutuals holy shit !!!!!! absolutelyly insane . ANYWAY i write about my ocs all the time and also silly little self indulgent stories that i dont share bc theyre just for me. BUT. CURRENLTY. i missed writing fics so i am in a months long hiatus of a fic for mission to zyxx which is a silly improv comedy podcast that i was super into right before i got into trigun !!!!!!!! its my beloved ever. however the trigun brain worms overtook me before i finished my fic and i have not gone back to work on it much :( i WANT to finish it tho bc the fandom is very small annnd i literally read every single fic in the ao3 tag in the span of like a week. i need 2 add to it.

ANYWAY basics of the fic (spoilers for mission to zyxx incoming !!) :

the main character has a bug egg laid in his eye and throughout all of season 2 it just grows in his eye and makes it look all fucked up until the s2 finale where the egg hatches and another character pulls his eye out before the bug makes his head explode. << its not as fucked up as it sounds bc this is a full comedy podcast so everything is played for goofs and this moment only lasts a total of like 6 seconds but i am a sucker for body horror especially when it involves gross bugs so !!! i am judt rewriting that scene with my own headcanons ans making it scary and emotional 😌 hi my names mac ghostiezone and i love horror and gay people.

I HAVE TO REREAD MY ENTIRE WIP TO FIND A PART TO POST i cant believe ur making me do this (<< THANK U I HAVE NOT LOOKED AT IT IN WEEKS) apologies in advance for my setup i like 2 write on my phone in the middle of the night so my google docs is in perma-darkmode:

<< we love an alien mind contrrol parasite that makes a usually cowardly docile character behave like a monster 😌😌😌😌

[jewlibee]

lion heart - stan x kyle

cross posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40785183

"dude."

kyle grabbed a strand of his styled red hair, and stared back at stan, annoyed.

"what? is it my hair? does it look bad?"

"no. it's just that you literally never do your hair. it's always either way too frizzy or under your stupid hat!" stan exclaimed, shaking kyle's shoulders.

kyle grabbed one of stan's arms in return, putting on the way-too-happy smile he always does before he punches someone, that stan and everyone else (sadly) knew all too well. "number one, it's not stupid, and number two, my hair is like this every passover and hannekuh. you just never pay attention to anything besides getting wendy a present every december and you never visit during passover."

"well-"

"well nothing. pay more attention to me, not wendy!" kyle almost, just almost, cried. maybe he was being stupid. it was a childish argument, he knew it. stan knew it too. everything stan said had been a half-joke. everything that he, kyle, had said before was a half-joke. now he's taking everything personal and he feels like an idiot for doing so.

he'd always been rivals with wendy, ever since preschool. wendy learned how to write her first name? kyle learned how to write his full name. wendy could read a full dr suess book in kindergraden? kyle could read how to kill a mockingbird in third grade. wendy spoke french? kyle asked his parents for hebrew lessons (with the excuse that he just wanted to read the torah in it's original form). soon enough, it had become a fight for stan. wendy started dating him the march of third grade, and kyle started seeing less of stan. stan only played with them every other recess, and instead of kyle 'tutoring' him (they only studied for thirty minutes before playing on kyle's xbox for five hours), he went over to wendy's house for "'actual' tutoring" (stan's words, not his), and that was when kyle realized he was maybe too codependent.

during the summer before sixth grade, kyle realized he like-liked stan. he remembers crying and sobbing for days, barely eating or leaving his room with only one thought left in his head.

"im a fag."

cartman had been right the entire time and it shattered his ego. he felt like he'd lost the game. he felt stupid.

"kyle!"

he shook his head and looked up at stan, whom of which had a worried expression on his face. "are you ok? your eyes are red and-"

"i'm fine." kyle said shakily, wiping his eyes and pulling the cuffs of his tux down. his mom had gotten it three months prior, and it fit him nicely then, but within the last three months, he'd grown 4 inches.

still shorter than stan.

"if you say so.. um, lets go downstairs before your mom goes crazy from not seeing you in your outfit yet." stan mumbled, playing with the hem of his shirt.

kyle grinned at him, to lighten up the mood. "a little gta won't hurt." and stan looked up, grinning back.

"bet."

tell me why
왜 맘이 맘이 자꾸 흔들리니
난 여기 여기 니 옆에 있잖니
정신 차려 lion heart

inviting eric cartman to his bar mitzvah was probably the stupidest kyle had ever had.

yet he still did it.

"your jew party isn't all that bad.. but the food is shit."

kyle rolled his eyes. "oh, shut up, fatass. not everything is about food. this celebration is about me finally becoming an adult-"

"i dont care. whats with you jews and explaining shit that no one cares about?" cartman mumbled, walking away from where kyle was standing.

'dickhead' kyle muttered under his breath, leaning back onto the snack table. he couldn't let cartman, of all people, bother him right now. this is supposed to be the most important day of kyle's life, so he can't let little things bother him. even if they were anti-semitic fatasses or his childhood best friend/crush. he should go hang with david or kenny for a bit, forget about everything else for just a few minutes. yeah, that's what he'll do.

finding david was surprisingly not hard. for once he wasn't working or translating, just sitting with jimmy and clyde, laughing at some joke jimmy told. he was wearing a worn-out red suit that was a bit too big for him, sleeves a bit over his wrists. probably his dads.

"hey david."

david whipped his head around doing that stupid smile he always does when he sees kyle or his favorite cousin. "yo, kyle! i've been wondering where you've been for the past like, thirty minutes." he said shaking his head, then looking up back at kyle and grabbing his hands, making kyle blush furiously. "i almost forgot- mazel tov, kyle!"

of course david pronounced it the english way, but kyle learned to not care about pronounciation of jewish words by non-jews, it's not like everyone spoke decent hebrew like him. plus david already speaks spanish and mazateco along with english, so more foriegn pronounciation would probably make his head pop.

"gracias, dude, it means a whole lot."

david laughed. "it's nothing, man."

"oh, of course it’s something." kyle said with a laugh, offering david a loaf of challah he brought with him from the snack table before he could get a word out. "challah? my mom made like, five hundred loaves, even though i told her that there's only gonna be a hundred or less people here."

david bit into the loaf. "your mom is an amazing cook. she should open a kosher restaurant or something."

"we're the only jews in south park, if we opened a restaurant only you and stan would go there."

"true."

내 맘이 맘이 더는 식지 않게
난 여기저기 뛰노는 너의 맘
길들일래 lion heart

crying in the bathroom during one of the most important days of his life was not something kyle thought he'd be doing.

but it seems that seeing wendy pull stan down for a kiss is a bit too much for him.

it almost felt like wendy did it on purpose, like she knew kyle was watching, like she knew this was a competition and not something kyle made up in his head.

sobbing over a toilet in the synagogue while everyone else seems to be out having fun at your bar mitzvah sounds sickening, yet there kyle is, sobbing over the god damn synagogue toilet at his bar mitzvah while half of his grade is out there, celebrating him, even though he's a fucking loser who's crying in the bathroom over his best friend/crush kissing his fucking girlfriend who he's been dating since the fucking third grade; it's not like he and stan have ever done anything even slightly romantic or sexual before, so why is he acting like a twelve year old girl who's ex found another girl a week after they ended things?

"hello?"

kyle gulps. there it is, the voice he's been trying to run away from all night. stan is here to check up on him because everyone just knows something is terribly wrong. stanley marsh. his best friend. his super-best-friend. why is he surprised? stan always checks up on him. it's not unusual.

"kyle, i know you're in here."

obviously. kyle doesn't have the balls to actually leave his bar mitzvah with all his friends and family out there, excited for him. happy that he's entered "manhood".

"go away, stan." kyle says, his words quivering, voice cracking. "i'm just- sick of toy by netta! they play it at every bar mitzvah.. it's just- so annoying, y'know?"

stan laughs. he laughs in a way that kyle would've actually believed he said something funny if it weren't the words that followed it; "you're so bad at lying. it's like when you ran to ike's room when we were watching human centipede and you said it was because the soundtrack sucked even though it was the part where the japanese guy shit into lindsey's mouth-"

"okay okay, i get it."

"so um-" stan paused, and through the small gap in the stall door, kyle saw him tap his foot against the floor and put his hands behind his back. "can you open the door? i think we should- we should talk. yeah."

kyle got up from the tiled floor, wiping his dirty hands on his tux pants, and unlocking the stall door slowly, like he was scared. was he scared? maybe. what did stan even want to talk about?

when he opened the door, he saw stan, hands in his pockets staring at the floor. though kyle was taller than stan by an inch or two when they were kids, by the summer before seventh grade stan towered over him by 3 inches. damn sheila broflovski.

"hi." is the phrase they both greeted each other with simultaneously. kyle's cheeks were red, he could feel it. stan too, was beginning to turn a warmer color, though it could be excused by the fact that kyle had turned up the heat in the bathroom because it'd been too cold.

kyle played with his hair, blushing. "so what do you wanna.. talk about?"

"listen, i'll cut straight to the chase-" that phrase already scared kyle, who knows how he'll feel after he hears what stan has to say. "it's just you've been acting really weird lately. i noticed it, david noticed it- god, even craig noticed it. everyone's worried kyle, and hearing you literally cry in the bathroom doesn't make your case any better. i just really- i really miss when you seemed genuinely happy, now everything you do feels like it's out of spite and you just seem not there? you’re just so different now.”

kyle was taken aback. he’s different now? he hasn’t changed since they were kids, he’s still the same person he was when he was eight, the same redhead who always gets in trouble, who’s the top of his grade, who’s overly conscious of his looks. nothing has changed, stan is just a stupid straight asshole who blames all his problems on everyone besides himself.

the next words out of stan’s mouth seemed like a dream, like a nightmare you can’t escape, like a horrifying realistic simulation of tusk.

“kyle, are you gay?”

and at that moment kyle wishes he were dead.

내 맘이 맘이 더는 식지 않게
난 여기저기 뛰노는 너의 맘
길들일래 lion heart

stan’s shoulder has always been a safe place to cry.

stan is the only person (who isn’t his mother or ike) who has ever seen kyle cry, considering kyle doesn’t cry often.

stan’s shoulder is warm, his hand on his back is one of the most comforting things kyle has ever felt, but considering he’s only 13 and from a wealthy and loving family, there’s not a lot of things that he’s needed comfort for.

though telling his best friend that he was gay was probably the hardest thing he’d ever done.

the thought of saying “yes” to your best friend’s question which was “are you gay?” is something kyle would never dream of doing. yet, after a quivering sob and the horrifying revelation that he literally sucks at lying, kyle had indeed said yes.

one hiccuping sob, then the next. it almost felt as if he was dying. he couldn’t stop crying, no matter how hard he tried. no words he wanted to say came out. just more sobs.

kyle just wanted to die.

“dude- it’s-“ stan’s voice was quivering, but why? was it because he was gay? was stan homophobic?

“i know what you’re probably thinking. “oh, stan hates me now, he’s homophobic and shit” but kyle trust me- it’s nothing like that because, well, i like dudes too.”

well fuck him.

kyle sat up, wiping his eyes and grabbing onto stan’s shoulders, shakily. “what?! b-but you’re dating wendy-”

“bisexuality exists, kyle.” stan said, rolling his eyes.

“maybe this night won’t be the worst night of my middle school career” kyle thinks to himself as he hugs stan tighter.

[quirklessidiot]

this is so random. I opened tumblr yesterday because it popped out of my search bar as i was finding rrls for my thesis (i think its been months but in reality its only been like four months since then) and ive seen my inbox with messages still there unanswered. I read a particular long one (comforting one) and it made me cry because it perfectly summed up how i felt as i drew this blog to a close because of personal reasons. i had also opened up to my friend about it and she said that I should try writing out again because its not fair that i stop just because people kept saying shit about it.

so it got me thinking whether i should start writing again but im still scared Ahahahhshahaa fuck people do a number on u and whOOPS but to the anon who sent that, thank you. It really means a lot and i meant a whOLE LOT.

maybe i will come back to writing when im happier with it and i dont feel like shit anymore. A newer account maybe when CSM or a new seasons of jjk idk (maybe ill pull up my drats for the TCCOGS and reign for the new seasons of jjk and make a chainsaw man series)

to thise messages on my inbox, thank you. i wanna print them and post them on a wall because u made a hobby enjoyable again.

i wont be publishing y/n stories in the meantime bcos im still traumatized by the events from last time but ill be active on ao3 for the completion of minazuki there and a SatoSugu/toji series im working on because my inspo juices came flying when i saw that message.

[actualbird]

Now that you've gone over how you think all the boys would be as cats (because thats the most important thing here) will you PLEASE go back through how they became cats, the ensuing panic/mania, and the plot point of mc now having 4 cats in her apartment and having to figure out how to un-cat-ify them all (and take care of them in the meantime) I am begging you... not all at once tho I have a feeling that it's gonna be way too long

OKAY SO how the NXX Cat-ification Bonanza happens is because of

it's just a

it's a normal thing yknow

an au where turning into a cat is normal

this au exists, it's a thing, trust me, look theres even an ao3 tag for it

according to the er, progenitor of this au, this au is basically the canon universe but "every human on earth turns into a cat for a month at a random point in their lives and it's just an accepted thing." cool awesome this is exactly what i need

moving on

so with this au in mind the ensuing panic is a little bit subdued it's less of "holy shit we're cats" and more of "uuugh it's Cat Time, i guess," and the thing that causes actual panic is that. all the nxx boys, for some frigging reason, get hit with Cat Time on like

the same frigging day

the nxx investigation team, all of them, are pulling an all nighter for one of their cases and mc is like "guys, im gonna take a nap for an hour" and the boys are like yes go rest pls and so she does she takes a nap and when she wakes up and goes back to the meeting room

theyre all cats. it's Cat Time. for all of them. all at once.

what are the fucking chances.

mc takes them all home because she knows luke and artem and vyn live alone and have nobody to help them out during Cat Time and marius (who lives in a mansion with many people who can help him) is like WAIT NO IF THEYRE GOING WITH U I WANNA GO TOO DONT LEAVE ME AAAAAAAAA just frigging cat-erwauling until mc is like oh my god okay fiiiiiiine

so now she has 4 cats in her apartment!!! and in this au the boys retain their human minds so theyre like, behaved and stuff. the only thing is that some instincts are Heightened, like emotions and senses but most especially the desire for physical touch, which is why my original post on this au is Like That.

with this convenient au in place bc itll be over naturally, mc doesnt have to figure anything out anymore, she just kind of has to deal with 4 cats that are actually 4 men in love with her.

each of them, in their own way, makes her blood pressure rise.

vyn and marius are constantly battling for her attention and end up in (started by marius, mostly) catfights that she has to break up. vyn pretends it never happened when it's over and marius is just constantly trying to knock things off tables at the exact moment vyn is under them so that he can get knocked in the head.

artem is the world's sulkiest cat and he worries mc a lot, like shes pretty sure that artem doesnt know that, in this form, every time he has a Feeling, he starts warbling. artem cant repress in this form. it's painful for everybody involved.

and once luke gets over the fact that he, for now, wants to eat his own pet bird, he acts more like a DOG than a cat kajsbfkajskfa. awake at 5:30am on the dot swishing his tail back and forth waiting for mc to wake up because aHA HES GONNA BE FIRST TO GREET HER WITH A MEOW!! BEAT THAT, EVERYBODY!!!

it's a very long month for mc KJBKJSDGD

[thechangeling]

Enough.

So a while ago I made a headcannon post about Ty's sexuality and the autistic exploration of sex and sexual desire. I have now written a fic about it. This ones for Alex @bedspells my very own Alyssa. Also side note I want to make it clear that yes, I still ship kitty 100%. But I've seen plenty of people write fics and headcannons about Kit exploring things with other people. There's no reason why Ty can't do the same.

Edit: Ok a long time ago this fic actually got a hate comment on Ao3 saying that I was erasing Ty's sexuality by having him hook up with a girl because he was cannonly gay due to a tweet CC made in 2013. Now I don't even have twitter and I wasn't a part of the fandom back then. Despite all of that I actually don't really consider that to be the basis of canon? And in the books he doesn't really express interest in anyone except for Kit. So as far as I'm concerned this was fair game. Not to mention gay people sometimes experiment before they realize they're gay. Especially autistic people!! And that was actually kind of the point of this fic. So maybe just keep that in mind going forward. Thanks!

Tw for mentions and discussions of sex.

Ty could count the instances he hadn't been bothered by another person's touch on one hand. This was certainly one of them. It was so late into the night it could certainly be considered the next morning. Anush, Ty and Alyssa had been doing research on Livvy and the effect she seemed to be having on a serge of demonic activity in the area.

Ty was fairly stressed about the possibility to say the least. It felt like everything was spilling away from him. Livvy, his family, his career.

Kit.

He really didn't want to think about Kit but it was difficult. It was like trying to ignore a bleeding wound that everyone kept referring to as a paper cut.

The shining lights in all of this were Anush and Alyssa. Befriending both of them had been the best part of coming to the scholomance.

Especially Alyssa.

Meeting someone who shared some of his thoughts, feelings and experiences was more then refreshing. It was liberating. Talking, laughing and crying with Alyssa about the things that no one else would understand was like a balm for Ty's soul.

At a certain point Anush had announced that he was retiring to bed and they should both probably do the same. Livvy was still floating around the room observing their work. But as time went on Ty had stopped paying as much attention to her. Now he was resting against Alyssa with his head in her lap. She was sitting on the couch in the library, carefully running her fingers through his hair and rambling on about something, Ty wasn't exactly sure what.

Ty reached up to wrap a lock of her long dark hair around his finger, then watched it spring back into place again. Alyssa's hair was wavy but not curly like- like some peoples. So it didn't spring and bounce very well. That was the interesting thing about Ali in general. So many parts of her dress and appearance were so neat and polished and well put together that Ty almost wondered what it would be like to see her more disheveled. What would it be like to grab and twist and pull until she was left with something that wasn't glossy perfect waves.

Ty panicked a little at that thought. Where exactly had that come from? He was now more then ever painfully aware of the fact that he was lying in an attractive person's lap. And his sister was still in the same room.

Ty looked up to search for Livvy but realized that she was gone. Guiltily he realized she could have been gone for awhile now. But he hadn't noticed. Lately he had been feeling further and further away from his twin and he hated it.

"Do you think stars have feelings?" Alyssa asked wistfully. Ty laughed joyfully, feeling so light and and so far away from every bad thing that had happened three years ago.

"Because I was just thinking," she continued. "Like, what if they're lonley you know?" Ty had to smile at the Alyssa charm of it all. Also the autistic perspective might have had something to do with it.

"I don't know," Ty said, sitting up. "Maybe they're like us. Maybe they like being alone." Alyssa pondered this for awhile.

"Well no one can be alone forever," she pointed out, then laughed, rolling her eyes. "God how did we get here? Remember when we were supposed to be doing actual work Ty?"

"Well we were stupid to think that would last," Ty announced matter of factly. Alyssa shrugged and leaned back against the sofa.

"Probably. Once the neurotypical left it was all downhill from there."

"I disagree, Ty said softly, meeting her gaze. "I enjoy spending time with you." Alyssa instantly smiled, the kind of beautiful, honest, heartfelt smile that allistic people wrote poetry about.

Instantly Ty was reminded of someone else, another brilliant smile.

He shook it off.

"Me too," Alyssa finally answered. Then she shook her head. "Ugh feelings. Gross."

Ty rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

Then Alyssa sat up again as she seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah I meant to ask you about Anush. Do you like him?"

Ty shrugged. "Yeah he's really nice. He's become a good friend."

Alyssa shook her head. "No, no Ty, I mean-" She paused. "I mean do you like him like you wanna date him? Or do you have romantic feelings for him?" She asked.

Ty paused. He honestly wasn't sure. He had been trying to avoid thoughts of those types of feelings for a very specific reason. A Herondale reason. But the truth was he did like really like Anush. He enjoyed being around him. Ty just wasn't sure what that meant.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Maybe." Alyssa fiddled with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers.

"Hmm. Well do you even like boys?" She asked. "I just realised I've known you for five months now and I dont really know what your deal is," she said contemplating. "Like sexual orientation wise. I mean not that it matters, it totally doesn't," she stammered.

Ty shrugged. "It was never really relevant before. But I'm not really sure. I guess I'm fine with whatever." Alyssa beamed.

"So I guess that means you're kinda like me huh? She said happily. "I'm pansexual. Women are so beautiful and angelic and soft and squishy and awesome, but men can be good too," she mused. "I mean men are......men, but some of them aren't so bad. I mean look at you!" Alyssa tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ty responded dryly.

"Anyways you know what I mean," Alyssa waved her hand. "So are you attracted to him at least?" Ty sighed.

"Yeah I am," he admitted. "But I don't- I don't want a relationship Ali. I just can't."

Alyssa studied him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with the Herondale pendent you wear that you always tell me never to ask questions about?"

Ty scowled. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Alyssa rolled her eyes and put her hands up in surrender.

"Fucking shit fuck! Fine!" She complained. "Anyways, my point is you dont need to date him neccesarily. Just have sex with him and see how you feel?"

Ty sat up and faced her. "What?"

Alyssa laughed. "You heard me. There's nothing wrong with causal sex between consenting adults. I mean, if you want to."

Ty felt the urge to stand up to try and aliviate some of the anxiety he was feeling, but he stayed sitting.

"I've never done it before," he admitted. Ty was 19, he knew most of the people his age had already had some sort of sexual experience. But he had always been too afraid. Too afraid of people touching him and demanding things from him with harsh vague bullshit. In Ty's mind it was just another social interaction that he could screw up and then pay the price for it.

Alyssa shrugged. "It's no big deal. Virginity is just a social construct anyways." Alyssa was playing with her hair casually and biting her lip slightly, to indicate that she was mulling something over.

Ty shook his head trying to explain it. "No, it's- I mean see, you say that, but, one of the things I've learned about this world is that social constructs kind of matter to a lot of people." Ty was taping his fingers against his leg and trying to stop himself from shaking. Alyssa noticed this.

"Because people tell you that's it's no big deal and not to worry, and then other people make it into a big deal like it means something, and then everyone's telling you to do something different," Ty explained with a panicked, rushed voice. "I don't know who you listen to, or what to do!" He was moving his hands frantically while he spoke to emphasize his points.

"Hey it's ok," she cooed, inching towards him. "Trust yourself. Or if you feel like you can't, then trust me." Ty felt a pang in his chest. A cacophony of conflicting emotions erupted within him. But mostly he found that despite his better judgement he actually believed her.

They had created something different between the two of them. Something that almost transcended labels or rules or traditional allistic boundaries. Alyssa was like the armor he put on every morning, with the strength and confidence that he wasn't alone in this world. In the midst of all of their jokes and late night heartbreaking conversations. In the midst of this fragile peace they had created, there was something there. Something indescribable.

Something like the sound of the page being turned in one of his Sherlock novels, or the sound of their favourite songs. A connection. A lifeline.

Ty looked over at Alyssa's concerned face and smiled softly. "I trust you," he promised. "I don't really trust many people, but I've always trusted you," he admitted. Alyssa inhaled sharply. She made an interesting facial expression that might have been a facial stim and then gaped for awhile before finally closing her mouth and avoiding Ty's gaze.

"Yeah that's cool. I trust you too," she said casually. She had gone back to pulling at her poor hair which was shedding everywhere. Anush always joked that he could always tell where Alyssa was by following the trail of hair.

"So, about the whole sex thing," she continued rather unceremoniously. Ty had to laugh a little. "Do you think it's something you're actually interested in? Or do you just feel like you have to?" She asked.

Ty pondered this for a moment. "I think I might want to. I just want to be with someone that I trust. Someone who will be considerate of my boundries, you know?" Ty did a quick glance around the room to make sure Livvy was still gone.

"Wait she's not here right?" Alyssa asked anxiously, catching on. Ty shook his head.

Alyssa paused for a moment, looking lost in thought. She was flicking her fingernails against each other and continuing to murder her bottom lip by chewing on it. Finally she looked up at him, looking rather amused.

"Ok. This might just be the exhaustion talking, or the autism, or a combination of both. So if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, then afterwards we can just forget it ok?" Alyssa sounded serious. Ty just nodded, trying not to be concerned.

Alyssa gave him an interesting look, one that he was pretty sure he had never recieved before. Her eyes scanned him up and down, then she smirked.

"I could potentially offer my services," she said innocently. Ty blinked a few times, then continued to stare at her. She stared back unflinching.

Wait. What?

Ty shook his head in confusion. "Hold on. Wait. You mean-?" He cut himself off. Alyssa nodded with that same smirk. "Yeah I mean why not right?" She shrugged, relaxing back against the sofa. "But if you dont want to then that's totally fine."

"Wait." Ty attempted to clear his head and stay focused. He stayed frozen for awhile, thinking. Then he folded his arms around himself, applying pressure. "Why exactly?"

Alyssa shrugged again. "Well why not? You're hot. I'm hot, and besides you know me," she pointed out. She paused, and then giggled.

"Four hours into investigating the paranormal phenomenon of his dead twin sister and chill, then she offers to take his virginity," she cackled. "I so enjoy our quality time together."

"The way your mind works really concerns me sometimes, you know that?" He asked playfully. Alyssa rolled her eyes at him and shoved him gently.

"Hey you don't have to, it was just an idea," she said, raising her hands in defense. Ty was silent. He was still thinking about it.

"Most people don't really do stuff like this right?" He asked warily. "Like most friends don't just randomly hook up and then laugh it off later."

Alyssa shook her head slowly. "Honey do you see me laughing?"

Ty was conflicted. There was something in him, a new, complicated feeling. A burning desire that nagged at the back of his mind everytime Alyssa bit her lip or pouted.

If he was really honest with himself. Ty could remember another time when he felt this way. But that was different, that was-.

He shook his head. No. Ty wasn't thinking about that anymore. He needed a distraction.

"God I can practically hear you thinking over here Ty," Alyssa teased. "Listen. If it freaks you out to much then we can forget about it. But-." She paused and reached towards him. Their fingertips met and she slowly dragged her fingertips down the top of Ty's hand.

"I want to do this for you because I care about you," she said solemnly. "I want make you feel good. Because you're special, and I dont mean that in the bullshit ableist way. I mean I think that you're special because you have such a big heart and you care so much," she said with a laugh.

Ty felt like he was about to cry. He was taking in long deep breaths trying not to get overwhelmed. He didnt know how to respond to this, this kind of attention and praise. His heart felt warm and tight absorbed in so much fondness and melancholy and regret all at once.

He knew this wasn't anything like what had happened that day on the beach. This wasn't that kind of love that he was feeling for Alyssa and that was a good thing. Romantic love, he decided, was too complicated.

"You deserve good things and good experiences. You deserve to have your first time be somewhere familiar. Somewhere you feel safe, and with someone who loves you." Alyssa wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"God sorry for getting all emotional like that," she joked.

Ty couldn't speak, so he just squeezed her hand. He hoped she would understand.

I love you too.

Ty took a breath, then nodded. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah I want that. I want you."

Alyssa exhaled, then grinned. "Ok then. Great. I'll see if I can pencil you in sometime this week," she joked. Ty cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh," he murmered, suprised with how disappointed he felt. "You mean later?" Alyssa laughed.

"Well yeah, I mean aren't you tired?"

"Are you?" Ty countered.

Alyssa shrugged. "Hey you know how it is, autistic sleep cycle. I'm gonna be up for awhile. I just figured you might want some time to think."

Ty shook his head. "No I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of thinking Ali. I'm tired of worrying and overanalyzing everything." His eyes met hers, she seemed a little worried.

She moved closer to him so that she was practically in his lap. "You need a distraction," she said matter of factly. "It's ok." She moved her hands from his arms to grasp his waist.

"Is this good?"

Ty flinched. "More pressure," he replied in a tone that was hopefully not too demanding. Alyssa pressed her fingertips down harder into his skin. A soothing feeling washed over him.

"Good?" She asked, scratching his skin with her fingernails. Ty just nodded, feeling slightly dazed.

Alyssa smiled, lowering herself gracefully into his lap. Everything she did was with precision and grace. Alyssa was a dancer. It was one of her special interests. She had stopped taking lessons a long time ago though because she found it challenging to dance in a group.

She could never copy what everyone else was doing exactly on count when she was supposed to. She was always going off and improvising on her own. There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

Alyssa's weight against him was comforting. She was moving her hands up and down his back underneath his shirt while still applying pressure. Ty felt heat beginning to pool in the base of his stomach. He stared at her curiously, taking in her soft curves and her smooth golden skin.

"Can I touch you?" Ty asked, feeling his fingers twitch.

Alyssa moved her hands to his chest. "Sure." She said softly. "Just be careful. Remember pressure and all of that, and try to avoid my stomach area. For some reason it's really sensitive." Ty nodded, instantly reaching for her long wavy dark hair and twisting his fingers around it, pulling slightly. She laughed.

This drew Ty's attention to her mouth. Her lips were cracked and rough looking from Alyssa constantly biting them, but Ty still wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before. He needed to know what it felt like.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and then to her sides, pulling Alyssa even closer. "Can you teach me how to kiss?" He asked looking her in the eye briefly. She snorted.

"I don't think you'll like it very much," she murmered. "It's not really a good sensory experience. At least not for me. Allistic people seem to like it though."

Ty nodded. "Exactly that's my point," he said, using one hand to cradle the side of her neck. "I need to learn for other people later on." He absentmindedly pressed his thumb into one of the divots in her neck, just to fill the space. Alyssa sighed and dug her fingernails into his chest.

"Ok fine but you're gonna hate the tounge thing," she breathed. She leaned down very slowly and then carefully pressed her lips to Ty's, kissing him softly.

It was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. Ty happily slid his hands back into her hair and began to fiddle with a few thick pieces. Alyssa moved her own hands up his chest to cradle her face, applying pressure with thumbs against his cheekbones.

Alyssa deepened the kiss and slid her tounge into his mouth. Instantly Ty winced and felt every cell in his body seize up. But he didn't stop. He was determined to figure this out. If he wanted to kiss someone who wasn't autistic in the future then he would need to. Ty relaxed his body and kissed her back forcefully, making out with Alyssa until the uncomfortable noise in his head was too much and he broke the kiss.

Ty shook his head and Ali laughed, stroking his hair. "I fucking told you so," she exclaimed. Ty shut his eyes and allowed his breathing to return to normal.

"Ok so that's something we can forget about for now, thank god. The beauty of this whole situation is that we dont have to follow any allistic script for this sort of thing." Ty opened his eyes. Alyssa was watching him carefully, still only centimeters away from his face.

"So is there anything you want to do?" She asked him. "Just tell me and I'll see if we can make it happen."

Ty saw no need to maintain any sort of filter. "Well there are a lot of things actually, but for some reason I really want to bite you," he said pointedly, glancing down at her neck. Alyssa burst out laughing, nearly falling over.

Ty glared at her. "I'm sorry," she gasped breathlessly. "I'm sorry it's just,-," she regained her composure, shaking her head. "I just love how we all used to be the weird kids who growled and hissed at people on the playground if they bothered us and now as adults we're just super kinky. Like it's kind of poetic in a way," she laughed.

Ty rolled his eyes. There was no need to ask what she meant by we. When Alyssa said we, it only referred to one thing.

"I'm sure it's not absolutely every autistic person," he protested. "Also we should move, on account of the fact that this is still a public setting." Alysza's eyes widened as if she had just remembered that.

"Oh right. Shit, as if these people needed any more reasons to hate me. Let's go!" She rolled off of Ty and stood in front if him, holding out her hand. "We can use my room." Ty stayed sitting, taking a moment to fully absorb it all.

He couldn't help but feel the weight of the Herondale pendent against his chest as a heavy reminder. He willed himself not to get distracted. Alyssa smiled at him slightly, almost as if she knew.

"Enough," she said softly.

Ty didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if their was anything he wanted say. Then finally he understood.

"Enough," he echoed back.

He took her outstretched hand and let her take him away.

@ti-bae-rius @eutony-in-whisper @dianasarrow @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @talia-lightwood @doitforthecarstairs @thelandunderthehilll @zfoxdraws @waterlillies

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[blu-eh]

Danny Phantom Ao3 Fic Recs

i have absolutely nothing better to do than go through my bookmarks countless times so i figured i would share some lesser-know (sometimes) COMPLETE fics that i rlly enjoy reading when im perusing ao3 in search of content. this is ofc not all of them 

under keep reading bc its gonna be a Long Post probably 

Unearthed by Marsalias | 1 out of 3 works of the Exhumed series 

Something has been found that should not have been.

aka police find a body/half a body (dannys) in the woods. phantom says its his. Shit Goes Down as police assume hes been murdered and conduct a formal investigation and basically bite off more than they can chew.

Absurdism by DarkNymfa 

Absurdism: doctrine that we live in an irrational universe

Jazz is 14 years old, has no friends, and, oh yeah, she has ghost powers. And now, mere months after the accident that made her half-ghost, she meets someone like her.

darknymfa is a fantastic author w/ fantastic stories so be sure to CHECK THEM OUT but this is my all time favorite basically where canon danny gets stuck in a world where a younger jazz was turned into a halfa instead of him. doppelgänger shenanigans. danny as a teacher. We All Love A Good Dimension Travel Fic Here

Parental Woes by DarkNymfa 

Humans form families of flesh and blood, while ghosts form theirs based on connections in their cores. But what does that mean for a half-ghost?

clockwork and pandora see danny and are like. this is my child now. attempt to adopt despite danny still having human parents that he does actually consider family too. found family? normal family?? both at the same time??? 

Hitch-Hiker by cosmonaughtt

Danny's lost, thanks to the help of another ghost patrol gone wrong. Luckily he finds a kind driver who's willing to take him to the next town. But is this driver just as "normal" as he is?

STEVEN UNIVERSE x DP CROSSOVER THAT WE LOVE AND DESERVE 

Adoption by Marsalias

What, exactly, does ghost adoption entail?

clockwork takes in danny after dannys parents are uhhhhhhhh Not Good. lots of world building for ghost legal systems. danny deserves a hug (and gets one!) 

Shift by Alexa_Piper

It turns out that the views of Agents O and K are not held by the rest of the Guys in White... which they discover when they bring in a fourteen-year-old half-ghost kid for "painful experiments".

the giw seeing danny and his neglectful parents and are like: My Child Now. ft. danny getting the hugs he deserves 

That Razor's Edge by Fionn_Sgeul

Valerie's world was clear-cut and straightforward. Then came the night when everything she thought she knew came crashing down on her head … along with a few tons of pulverised building.

That was the night that she became the thing she feared … and discovered that maybe it wasn't a thing to be so frightened of.

And also, maybe it was finally, finally time to admit that Phantom wasn't such a bad guy after all.

HALFA VALERIE HALFA VALERIE HALFA VALERIE

what a teacher would do for a student by mageofmoonlight

Danny tensed, pulling his hands away from the bars of the cage, frost swirling at his fingertips, his core buzzing in his chest as he prepared to transform.

“Do not touch my students,” Mr. Lancer said.

There was a flash of light.

this fic and this concept is so underrated. i love it. i need a dozen more fics like this

Jumpsuiting To Conclusions by Kimcat

Jack and Maddie have finally managed to catch Phantom, and they can't help but take notice how similar his outfit is to their own.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and blood

ofc.....good old parental identity reveal. this one is goodddddd

Real World Item by Marsalias

Danny Fenton shows up on ghost detectors when in the real world. What does Danny Phantom show up on in the Ghost Zone?

this is another one of those fics where its like i keep recc’ing this author because they DESERVE IT and are GOOD AT WRITING FICS and this fic is no exception. aka danny shows up on the real world item detector in phantom form and has some Explaining to do to his parents 

Dancing Around the Truth by Taliax 

The last thing Valerie wanted was to get caught up in Paulina’s plot to ask Phantom to the winter formal. Unfortunately Paulina’s made sure she doesn’t have a choice. Meanwhile, Danny just wants to finish his Algebra quiz.

i lvoe this fic smsmsdm sdjkgf WOW ok basically: paulina finds out valeries secret, valerie finds out dannys, paulina finds out dannys and its all one Mess of a situation 

Icebound by Pandemi

The Justice League gets their hands on a magic orb, but when it starts giving off emotions, they find that this is no ordinary magical object... in fact, it just might be sentient.

this is one of my first dp fics & all time favorite fics. a dc x dp crossover. danny gets trapped in his core, the justice league find & help him. then they adopt him (they dont but like they basically do) 

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[celstese]

Torchwood Christmas secret santa 2020

for @laylainalaska

Hi this is your secret santa. Happy holidays Both fics are under the cut and on ao3. I haven't figured out how to embed pictures so the pics just on this post. I dont have access to a scanner right now. (Will update the picture when I do soon)There is a bit of swearing in the first fic but its not that much.

ao3 posts-  Ianto and Owen / Gwen and Tosh

It was early in the morning when the messy situation began. Since Lisa was discovered, I hadn’t been back at work. That was a terrible night. It happened so suddenly. I didn't feel happy when I realized what I had overlooked. I noticed we were running out of coffee beans. As soon as I could go, I went to go where I kept the rest of the walk in storage. This was the same floor where she inhabited for several months. It started sometime after I had joined after finding Myfanwy. That night I was exhausted. It was worth it in the end. While I didn't prefer being down there, I had to do something about the problem I had found. As I walked further towards the supply cupboard, the more uneasy I felt, almost like I knew something would go wrong. My fears were not out of the blue, but objectively I knew no one else could have done the same thing as I had. When I got there, the storage door was wide open and I could hear Owen Harper's loud voice. I sighed then spoke up loudly, enough that he could hear me from wherever he was inside. “Are you close to the coffee? We’re almost out upstairs.”. I didn’t wait long. It seemed he was close to where I was. Odd, the room seemed to be much bigger on the inside. That might have just my mind playing tricks on me. Though I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. “Can you repeat that? I don't know why not having galoshes would be a problem. ” Owen sounded confused. “No where almost out of coffee. Is there any in there still?” I replied louder than I had done previously. “I passed it on my way to the office supplies. I think that's all the coffee we have right now” Owens voice was apologetic. I could tell he meant it. It was then and there, for the first time in ages, that I felt scared. Not only for me but everyone on the team. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I had become dependent on coffee. My team was no different. That didn't mean any would do. Drastic times call for drastic measures. After a short conversion, we decided to go upstairs and find Jack. Getting the bags of coffee to the car would require more than one person. It was a slow day so Owen could come and help for once. We walked together to the large elevator at the end of the hall and, after finding that it wasn't working, we sighed and took the stairs. I guess it was about time for a new elevator anyway. Nothing really lasts forever. When I got out of the stairwell, I was met by a relieved Jack who was happy to see me. “Ianto about the coffee…” “We have none in storage right now so the stuff upstairs is all we have at the moment. Me and Owen were going to go get more right now.” “I'd be happy to help if you asked, but that's fine.” I could tell from Jack's tone of voice that he would like to spend that time with me, but we'd never get anything done if he came with. He is a real trouble magnet on top of that. We walked inside the garage with the keys already in Owen's hands. I got in the driver's side on the right side while he got in the passenger side. The quickest route I knew could be confusing. If I was on the passenger side giving directions wouldn't help at all. It was hard to find a place and the directions were the oddest I have ever followed. As they drove out it was still raining as it had been when they entered in the morning. By the time they had taken a left turn towards a block of warehouses, the rain had vanished, to Owen’s surprise. He thought the weather man said something about the rain lasting until the next day. He shook his head and told himself he must have misremembered what week that was for. The car made a sudden stop parking at the side of the road. Ianto spoke saying “I know it might look weird, but this is really where I get all of the coffee. It's like the opposite of a Slitheen. It's the building on your side. Let's go.” While Ianto stepped out of the car ,Owen took a deep breath and opened the door quickly then closed it just as fast. His face was drawn to the massive eyesore in front of his face. The building that once held a clothing warehouse full of books was now filled with rows and rows of coffee. Owen didn't know what to think. He turned his head and said to Ianto “ You go to a building that's bright orange called Groovy Moods to get coffee that we drink everyday. Something about that sentence just sounds wrong.” “It's better than it sounds. They used to have a different name, but they were inherited by the old owner's hippy son. I miss the old building, but the stuff is still the same. My mouth would know the difference.” Owen Harper then said in response “So it's a rebranding. Lets just go in and get this all over and done with. I heard it was supposed to rain today.” The inside was clean as a whistle and the colors were more muted, though, the wall art wasn't. Owen couldn’t say he was surprised at the abstract art on the wall above displayed bags of various kinds of coffee. He followed Ianto to a window at the back of the store and found something unexpected, visible behind the glass. “Well shit.” I couldn't agree with Owen more. Some kind of face hugger was on the workers face and they were trying to tear it off. That was a poor bloke. “Did we bring anything in the car or did you grab something? I don’t think a gun will help us with that.” Owen was panicking and so was I. “ I always have medical supplies on me, and I also have some food. You?” I leafed through my pockets and groaned. “I grabbed the wrong jacket. This spray might make it worse.” “Why?” “It's novocaine in a can. I don't know what it will do to it. It could do nothing.” “It's worth a shot. At least the guy won't feel anything if something goes wrong.” Owen, with a medical tool, opened the door and I sprayed the face hugger. The weirdest thing happened. “I think I made it horny”. I was embarrassed. Instead of sucking the man's face, it was now humping my foot. Owen laughed while I sighed. “We have a carrying cage in the car right? Get it. I think we might have to retcon this guy when it's taken care of.”

Fic 2 It was a Friday when I finally had some time to myself. I had some great plans including going to this nice curry place and eating what I couldn't while I was at home since Rhys was allergic. My day didn't go as planned after I managed to get that one thing out of the way. As I was walking to my car, out of nowhere I got pulled into an alleyway. I almost kicked them, knocking them out before I saw who it was. It was Toshiko, but she was a mess. Concertedly, I watched as she panted.

“What happened?" I said plainly as she stood wobbling in front of me.

Her eyes wide, she spoke a few words before fainting onto me “Aliens smuggling cocaine into space.”

I had just enough time to catch my weight and Tosh by sheer will alone. A few seconds passed before I could catch my bearings.

My mouth gaped as I was shook by what she had just said. I guess I'm going to hold off on those plans for another day. This, I could feel, wouldn't be easy. She looked at Tosh's wrist and sighed. Maybe she would have a day out. Whatever had happened hadn't happened yet. On Toshiko's right wrist was a vortex manipulator. For all Gwen knew Tosh was going to then say and time if that one wasn't Jacks. It wasn't like he was unique in the cosmos. It was mass produced. From what she had gathered after Jack came back after a year in tandem with the radiation scare they were similar to company cars. While not totally unique, there are a limited amount.

Though for all I know I am already involved in what happened and will have to sit it out to keep out of sight. That might possibly be some good news. I haven't signed up for overtime, but I was due for a break as well. Whatever the case I had to get Tosh to wake up somehow. For all I knew it would come today and we needed to start walking now. So, out of my pocket I grabbed what I always kept on me and what I knew she couldn't stand.

“Peppermint, really Gwen?”

It had worked after all, to my delight.

“We are in an alleyway and I had it on me. Now, do we have to hide somewhere or was I involved in what got you here?”

“I have to stay out of sight, but we need to call Jack so I only knew one thing you did out of the next three days.”

“Well that's short, but what are you getting at?”

“Well what we need to do exactly is this.”

Tosh's game plan was not something I would do if I didn't have to. There were parts she had to repeat since to be perfectly honest was plain odd. I guess I could blame the rift for this.

So, here I was now, with Tosh in a bar in the middle of the day at the start of winter. There was barely anyone inside which was definitely not a good sign. We went to the restroom and waited for a few minutes. Then I heard that noise that had to be what Tosh had told me about earlier. So I kicked down the restroom door and chucked a can of mayo at a sabretooth tiger. While it layed there unconscious, Jack stared at me, dumbfounded for the first time since I had met him.

“Thanks Gwen but how did you time that so well? It's your day off you didn't mention going to a bar” He was scratching his head staring at the jar of mayo on the ground.

“It's kind of you from a few days laters fault. Tosh said she came back to perverse the timeline to ensure I did what I did. You gave Tosh your vortex manipulator 3 days away. I guess i'm going to have more time off than planned. This was the only thing you saw me doing with everyone else while the alien cocaine smugglers were dealt with. I'm having trouble saying their name. It's a mouthful.”

“Can you tell me something about them so I know what i'm dealing with?” Jack responded quickly.

“ She did say that one of the people who took them back to their homeworld used to be mayor Blaine. Tosh said she was cute.”

He started laughing for a second then the image of what I was describing finally got past his processing for how ridiculous it all sounded.

“Even for torchwood this sounds..”

“Insane I know. I'm the one who was dragged into an alley by a chip shop's trash cans by a future Tosh and had to wake her up. She seems fine, even after passing out. I don't think she got a concussion, but it's even more of a reason for me to stay out of this one. I wouldn't want to be home alone if that happened to me.“

“You do that Gwen, you do that.”

Tosh walked up right next to me and said, “We have five minutes until my past self walks by. We need to head out. Nice seeing you Jack.”

We finished saying our goodbyes and Tosh headed out first, initially going left while in the distance I heard a familiar voice talking to him. While I knew I could relax, I wouldn't be able to do everything I could.

“I haven asked yet, but are you okay with sleeping on my couch?”

“Gwen, I’ve slept in worse places before, it's fine.”

Tosh opened up the fridge while I was cleaning dishes. “Gwen, when's the last time you ate something that wasn't takeout? There's only milk in here and I think it's gone off.”

“Well, I guess we'll have to go get food. Rhys usually does it, but he’s at the funeral I was talking about before all of this. You didn't go to a grocery store did you?”

“No, so we can go anywhere.”

I didn't feel the need to change so we went out in both of our pajamas. The sight of her in my pajamas brought a smile to my face.

I hadn't gone here this time of night or this particular place, but Tosh seemed pretty familiar with it. There was some stuff I hadn't seen in person before, but it was pretty clean. I grabbed something called a dragon fruit and put it into the cart as well as some pasta and additional stuff to put on it. Can't forget the wine either. This kind of opportunity doesn’t happen as often for me anymore.

I don't know how, but we ended up at a rec center painting. It was a small place nearby with a blue façade. It felt nice actually, to my surprise. It's not the best representation of a pear, but at least I tried.

I looked at my watch and realized how much time had passed.

“This is the last day we have to stay out of this.” I didn't know how I felt about that just yet.

Tosh pulled down the newspaper and sat in silence for a bit. Then she simply said . “I'll miss this break, but it had to end sometime. It will be all okay.”

“I hope so.” I thought to myself. The last few days had been calm but I don't think I can relax much longer anyways.

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal��� talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[honestlyfragile]

Undertake - Lee Minho • Lee Know

originally posted on ao3 as: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861383/chapters/57353434

Pairing: Lee Know x Female Reader

Genre: angst!smut

Tw: NSFW, cheating, marijuana, smoking, alcohol, sex, oral sex

One call. One text. That’s all it took for you to be on call and ready for duty.

Part 1 | Part2

Minho was an ex, a failed relationship that didn’t work out for its own reasons. Primarily because it was lust, not love. But one thing makes him come back. No matter how distant he has become with you. You could go on for weeks and months without him, but as soon as you get that one text, you were on call. “Duty?” You read across your screen, you feel a smirk crawling and making its way to your lips. “On your call ;)” you gladly respond. Minho speeds his way to your apartment. He just got into an awful argument with his girlfriend, not to mention the sex was terrible with her, oh to be the girl that he runs to when he’s short on his sexual desires. Or basically just frustrated and wants a good fuck. But how come you never refused? Because you loved it, you loved how you were still an irreplaceable mark on him. You love how he thinks of you when his skin crawls, when he gets goosebumps whenever his dick was hard, it was you and no one else. You knew how to make his worries vanish, you knew how to get him to his high and he goes absolutely fucking crazy over that.

You come down to welcome him inside your home but instead he tells you to go inside the car. “I don’t have a bra. Give me a moment.” You cross your arms and turn your back.

“Fuck that, everything will come off anyways. Get in.” he says as he grips the steering wheel tightly, growing impatient. 

You roll your eyes and get inside. He offers you a rolled joint and you gladly take it. You go closer towards him and light yours with his, making eye contact. You take your first hit and draw it through your mouth, and you feel its smoke flavor burn in your mouth as it smoothly goes to your lungs and exhale. You throw your head back at the sensation. 

“So, what brings you here?” You scoff, lazily looking at him as his face was slightly illuminated by the moonlight, his eyes glossy and slightly tainted red. 

He takes a hit, and exhales heavily. A bitter laugh escapes his naturally curled lips almost like of a feline. “She’s so,” he pauses, thinking of the right word. “Suffocating. Yes that’s the word.” he closes his eyes and a resentful smile plays on his lips. You nod your head even if he doesn’t see, he knows you’re listening, so he continues. His words sloppily coming out of his mouth. “And it’s strange, how I always tolerate it. Minho stop talking to her, Minho stop doing this stop doing that Minho i don’t like that” and his words were all stitched together, rolling off his tongue and he forgets to take a breath. He inhales another. 

“Then why don’t you just, i don’t know…take your head out of the water and break up with her?” You hastily suggest.

“No, I love her.” he purses his lips and throws his head back. 

“If you did you wouldn’t be doing this with me.” You raise an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“This,” he motions his finger between the both of you, “Isn’t love. It’s nothing.” 

“Then stop coming back to me. Stop calling me, stop fucking me. I bet you can’t.” You look at him straight in the eye, and you slowly feel the high washing over you. 

“No.” he hovers over you and kisses your lips with his moist ones. Well if he kept wanting to do this, with what choice does it leave you? It’s not like you forced him to stay or to keep doing this with you. You just simply agreed to whenever he needed it. 

The kiss gets deeper and you motion him to the backseat, where he willingly goes. You place yourself on top of him and continue to place wet and open-mouthed kisses on his neck, feeling his prominence. He takes off your shirt, revealing your bra-less self. He gropes your breasts with his hands and massages them while sucking your nipples and placing his face in the valleys of your breast.

You throw your head back with the tingling sensation and it involuntarily causes you to grind on his hard on. He grunts and holds the back of your neck, pulling you closer so he can suck and put your bottom lip in between his teeth. Your hands travel to the hem of his shirt and quickly take it off. Your hands rake his now slightly wet hair due to sweat, but it smells like old spice, just how you like it. 

You take off his sweatpants and his cock is hard as hell leaking with precum. You feel it with your palms to drive him just a little over the edge. “God do it already.” He pants, feeling desperate. 

“So impatient.” You smirk and pull down his boxers and it springs up and lightly hits his stomach. You feel his member and hold it in your palms and give the tip a good lick, a moan escapes from his plump lips, and his fingers are tangled in your locks. 

And you take him in, like you always did. Like how he always liked it. Until the brim. You knew how to get him, whether you were high or sober, you just knew. That’s why he always came back. 

“I can’t cum like this, let me get inside you first.” he flips the both of you over and quickly tries to get a condom from his compartment in the front seat. He slips it in and takes both of your cotton shorts and panties in both of his hands in one go. He places himself in your wet entrance and inserts himself, his size almost overwhelming but it was nothing you can’t take. Your nails dig into his back and you faintly scream in pleasure. 

“Faster oh my god,” you rub circles on your clit while he thrusts in and out of you, making your hips shake, and your body tremble, you can’t breathe. You fucking can’t. Your eyes are shut yet they roll to the back of your head that you could almost see your goddamn brain.  All you could do was moan, scream and whimper. Your fingers felt like it was going out of control. His thrust are sloppier and the car is filled with muffled moans and noises that you can’t even spell. 

“Fuck.” He collapses on top of you and  makes his release and you reach your orgasm. You wipe the sweat that has formed on your forehead. 

Minho sits up and so do you. Keeping fair distance with him, you weren’t the type to cuddle after sex, he wasn’t your boyfriend. You dont fuck with feelings. Your missions don’t come with a reward. What is done, is done. 

“Get out.” He dresses himself up and so do you. Before fixing yourself you sneakily roll yourself another joint to take home. You leave the car and give him a quick salute. He shakes his head and chuckles. At last, he was off.

------

Another day in university wasn’t all that uneasy. You went to the same one as Minho and his girl, but she has no idea that you knew him, moreover you were his ex. So it didn’t bother you. In fact, you even went to some of the same classes with her. A very charming girl who went by the name, Cho Mi Yeon.

“Don’t ever dare tell her about this.” He nibbles on your ear and aggressively whispers, while his fingers were twisted in your vagina. 

“You’re so fucked up, poor girl has no idea.” You tease, sucking on his collarbone. 

“Don’t act like you are any different.” 

“Oh, but I am,” you take his hand and put his two fingers in his mouth, so he can always remember how you taste even when he was with her. “I don’t cheat.”

You pass by the both of them holding hands, like nothing has happened the night before. They sure do make up pretty quickly. Mi Yeon catches you at the side of her eye, and turns her head back to wave and say hi. You wave back casually as Minho is taken aback by the sudden “friendship” that the two of you have. But he quickly retracts himself from the scene and ignores you.  

He was so bad at it, acting all tough on you. Like he doesn’t give a shit, he thinks he can hide it well. But at the end of the day, he is and will be the guiltiest of them all. He will have to carry all of this while all you do is sit and watch for the chaos to eventually unfold.

Minho was a year ahead of you, so he saved himself from getting into the same classes. Otherwise, he’d probably lose his mind. 

You sit your single self down in the university’s cafeteria, having some iced coffee and sweet bread. You weren’t the type to have a clique, or a bunch of friends surrounding you. You prefer to be casual and discreet. Oftentimes, you also wonder if anyone finds you strange or suspicious, but you keep a good relationship with all of your blockmates. You were approachable and easy to talk to. 

You didn’t like attachments, it was a pain in the ass back then to have yourself keeping a damn reputation in high school, college gives you sort of a fresh start, a clean slate. 

“Do you mind if I sit beside you? I mean we do have the next class together.” A charming Mi Yeon says to you and how could you resist? 

“Oh, sure go ahead.” You simply smile and observe her. 

“That’s all you’re having? Do you want some of mine?” She kindly offers you her tuna rice balls, which you kindly refuse. 

“I’m good, it’s too early for me to have something heavy.” You chuckle. “I just saw you with your boyfriend awhile ago, why aren’t you sitting with him?” Your eyes pretend to roam around the space.

“Ah, he had a class to catch, you know he’s a year higher so his sched is different.” She explains. 

“I see. You look great together, by the way.” You genuinely compliment, because it was true. You weren’t jealous. They were real, you were not. 

“Thank you. He’s great.” She talks so fondly about him that you start to feel sorry for her. Just a tiny bit.  

You and Mi Yeon head to class and walk past Minho, who just got out of his. The only reason why you could feel the tension is because he brings it with him. He makes everything awkward and heavy, he was a scaredy cat. 

Mi Yeon gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but on the other hand while her back faces yours, his eyes are on your visage. They were dark, and strong, almost threatening. All you could do is be pretentious, you didn’t know him. You had to remind and convince yourself that you didn’t. 

———

Minho struts in the hallways, gaining looks from others like he always does. His hair black and polished, his natural pink lips were moist and his eyes were like gems. He was definitely hard to resist. 

When he flashes them a smile, they lose it. But what they didn’t know was the huge weight that was lingering in his chest if he ever gets caught. How ironic it was for the cheater to be scared as a wuss, but was brave enough to do it anyways.

His hands were tightly hidden in the pockets of his skinny jeans, and his breathing was heavy. His mind is full of worries that he never shows, but over all those that he is concerned about, being caught was what bothered him the most. The hallways were crowded, there's people who knew where to go, and those who didn't. One accidentally bumps his shoulder and the poor guy is terrified, but Minho makes sure to tell him that it’s no big deal and gives the latter a kind smile.

Most of the people are intimidated by him, but what they don’t know is that Minho is actually more sensitive than they think. He cares, a lot. He has this whole external guard on him but only because the world cannot possibly find out what was actually going through his goddamn mind. He had too many secrets to keep. He only had one person that he would trust the world with.

Minho feels a rush of relief when his path clears up and sees his best friend, Chan. He cheerfully throws his arm around his shoulders and ruffles Chan’s hair. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t plan on styling this today.” Chan chuckles and tries to fix his tresses. “What’s up? You seemed a little indifferent before you walked towards me.” 

Minho shakes his head in disbelief, this man really knew him inside out. He lowers his voice just in case anyone plans on eavesdropping, “How are ____ and Mi Yeon suddenly friends? It doesn’t make sense to me. It’s so dangerous.” 

“Oh shit,” Chan trails off, “That can’t be good. You know that you aren’t friends with ____ right? If she screws you over, you’re done.” 

“Wow that makes me feel so much better.” Minho sarcastically replies. 

“Just saying bro, watch your back. Stop treating your side chick like shit or else telling your girlfriend is the first thing on her list.” Chan casually shrugs his shoulders. 

“Aish. Whatever, she wouldn’t. Otherwise she’s going to be ruined as well.” Minho fidgets for his car keys, “do you still have a class? Do you wanna smoke in my car or something?” 

“Are you stupid? Smoking weed on campus? No thanks man. I’ll pass today.” Oh how much of a goody two shoes Chan was. 

“Alright then, I’ll see you around then.” Chan pats Minho’s back and heads off. 

_____

“Why don’t we ever have like, proper sex?” Mi Yeon pops this question out of the blue as her and Minho were sitting on her apartment’s couch.

He tries to change the topic by acting clueless, “What do you mean? Isn’t it like, all the same?” 

“No it isn’t. It just doesn't feel right when we do it. It doesn’t feel natural.” Mi Yeon sighs and buries her head on Minho’s chest.

“So are you saying that i’m like, not good? You’re always fucking complaining about something!” He raises his voice and the girl is startled. She never meant to start an argument about it but his temper was out of control today. 

“What? I never said that! The problem could be with me or something. What is up with you today?” She raises her head from his chest and sits upright. 

“No, its always your way to start something with me. You’re always finding loopholes so you can nag at me about anything.” Minho stands up, ready to leave. He was not up for this kind of conversation, not today. 

And as always, his coping mechanism was to storm out and text you. He gets in his car and lights a cigarette, and heavily draws the smoke in and out. His hands were tightly gripping the steering wheel and occasionally running through his hair. He had gone beyond the speed limit. Minho was not himself most of the time, but today he is losing more of himself than ever. 

You respond to him a little later than usual, but he was satisfied to see your reply and immediately just heads to your apartment, ready for duty. 

____

“I swear, it was his car.” Mi Yeon tightly clenches her fists and puts it against her chest. 

“But why?” her friend is baffled, just as surprised as she was.

“A girl came out of the apartment, I was a bit far so i didn’t really recognize. But her overall looks just seemed so familiar. I just can’t seem to wrap my finger around who it really was.`` She bites her lip and thinks hard. 

Your figure passes by from afar and as soon as Mi Yeon caught the sight of you, her heart sinks. And no, she’s not going to fight back. She’s not going to yank your hair and yell at you for getting together with her boyfriend behind her back. She had her pride, she had her own way of taking matters into her hands.

“What’s the matter? Is she from here?” Her friend says, puzzled by her sudden change of expression.

Mi Yeon nods her head and spreads a bitter smirk upon her iced cherry stained lips. She takes a few deep breaths and puts her chin up, straightens her back and is no longer slouching. And now, the power is hers. She has both of you wrapped around her finger now. Two can play at that game of acting clueless. 

How quick it was for the tables to turn before you even knew it. And perhaps you never will. 

She could handle it. She realizes that she had wasted so much energy on Minho only for him to do the exact opposite of what she wanted to happen. It wasn’t worth it anymore, but she would love to live to see them eaten up alive by their guilt. 

Without a clue, you walk towards a now composed and smiling Mi Yeon, you were meaning to ask if you could walk to your class together. 

“Hi! We still have a couple minutes, we’ll make it on time.” Mi Yeon cheerfully says as she links her arms with yours. You were kind of surprised by the gesture, but you told yourself that she was doing it out of kindness.

“You’re in a good mood today,” you smile, noticing her energy.

“Yeah? I guess because I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed today.” She shrugs.

_______

Mi Yeon offers you to bond over a cup of coffee but you kindly decline it due to your other agendas. 

Which included meeting up with Minho.

He arrives at your apartment and parks his car in front, anxiously waiting for you to open the door. Something was off and he felt it. But let’s be real here, none of the things the both of you were doing were right to begin with. It just felt riskier this time. 

“God why did you take so long?” Minho swiftly steps himself inside your home, stingier than ever. 

“What is up with you today?” You cross your arms, bothered by the way he was acting. 

“Cause i feel like Mi Yeon knows something about this.” he lowers his voice, as if you weren’t the only two people in the house. 

Your eyes widen, why would he ever say such a thing? “What do you mean?”

He paces back and forth, “I don’t know. I just feel it in my gut. She’s being too nice to me these past few days.” 

You chortle in disbelief with his half-assed cohesions. “That doesn’t make sense. Do you hear yourself? She’s being too nice? Isn’t that what she’s supposed to be rather than to keep picking fights with you?”

“But it keeps me from coming here and being with you. Doesn’t it?” He stops and stands still. 

Something in you clicks, but you refuse to believe it because the idea didn’t speak to you that well. You couldn’t believe that she would be able to not call you out if she knew. The last time you remember, she still locked arms with you.

“That's just stupid, your girlfriend being nice to you is something you should be happy about asshole.” You roll your eyes. 

Minho is paranoid but refuses to admit it, he still firmly believes that he can get away with everything and giving up something will be a sign of defeat, no matter what it was. 

Without a word, he walks out the door. 

[p1nkwitch]

Please may I have number 3? Drunk/sloppy kiss, with either jmart or lonelyeyes?

This got out of control, so forgive me, i just have this scene in the backburner of my mind for months and wanted to post it somewhere. So its soft and a little bit sad, but ultimately i love it. I hope its what you want!

Also im a lonelyeyes shipper first so if given the option i would always pick it first, sorry if you wanted the Jmart.

Maybe later i will compile all this shorts in ao3.

3- Drunk/sloppy kiss

Elias is trying his hardest to focus but it was proving to be a little bit too hard. Today was…

Well today was not a good day for him in several instances, so when he got home he decided to drink to more or less forget the day happened and just wake up the next morning with a headache, more bearable in his book than overthinking things and beholding being particularly bitchy by making it worse.

However he did manage to get significantly drunk which is why he was currently talking animatedly to Peter who was looking at him amusedly from behind the couch, since he just arrived and Elias was not up to getting up.

“sSo i was with- with OsCAR AND you would not believe what he said-” Peter hums in agreement and starts to move away, making him pout so he gets up slightly and grabs his sleeve before he escapes.

“I'm talking Peter!!” His husband? Were they married now? He can't recall, sighs and gets his hand off him, making him upset, but he goes around the couch to sit next to him and pour what's left of the scotch on a glass, taking a gulp.

“Why did you think getting drunk on a… wednesday night was a good idea?” He doesn't want to think of the reason now, so he shrugs and says what comes to mind.

“Awful day, wanted to not thiiiink about it” He sees him scrunch up his face at him, but ultimately nods, he won't pry, it would mean caring about his wellbeing too much and Peter can't bring himself to do it. Or well he does sometimes, his moral sense is a spinning wheel anyways.

Elias feels still slightly upset, but more importantly he is also mesmerized watching Peter drink and just stay close to him, what a peculiar man that he is, claiming to be lonely yet staying with him who represents everything he hates. It makes him smile.

Peter is an acolyte of the lonely yet he has his personality and is not a boring husk, he knows exactly the kind of person he is and yet he still marries him, more importantly Peter is aware that one day he could be the death of him, and Elias has the suspicion that he wouldn't even be mad at him for it. Merely annoyed at himself.

Peter Lukas would never hate him for how he is even if it brings him his doom.

Elias slides closer and leans on Peters side, with his head on his shoulder making him stiffen and yet not pull him away, he giggles at the contradictions of this man, this silly little big man that he loves. Oh.

Oh he does love him, it does not mean he won't let him go if it serves him and he would be offended if it wasn't the same way for him. But nevertheless he does.

His face burns pleasantly and he nuzzles his side a little bit. He must have mumbles something, because he hears him sigh and kiss the top of his head.

“Dead of me for sure” Elias looks up at him and he sees the surprised and flushed look he has. Silly man. Nodding he grabs his arm and pulls him until they are both lying on the couch, with him lying almost practically falling off it. His husband or not husband doesn't protest much, beyond grumbling and snorting at his feeble attempts at kissing his neck, they were sloppy as hell, but he was having fun!! It's been a while.

Its when he brushes a certain spot that Peter stiffens and laughs.

Oh?

“Elias no- don't you dar-!!!” He blows a raspberry and Peter starts laughing like crazy!!! He was ticklish that asshole told him he wasn't! He always got him and he could never get revenge not until now!!

“YES!! I KNEW YOU HAdd to be Ticklish someWhereeee” Peter wheezes and he laughs against him trying to reach the spot again, oh god he has to remember his tomorrow, he has to otherwise it would be for nothing- shit- He-

Flops to the ground with a thud.

There is silence only shaken by Peter's heavy breathing. Despite the fall he is grinning ear to ear. He sees the man peak from the couch at him with an afronted look and very flushed face.

“Are you ok?” He keeps his grin in place and laughs nodding.

“Yes!! Oh that was funnn” He sighs dreamily, it was so much fun. Peter shakes his head at him.

“Who knew being drunk got you to be so...sappy and childish, you really were holding out onto me huh?” Was he? He probably was, he really had to hold back most of the time.

“Mm” He sees Peter hand go to his face and he tilts it to the side expectantly, the man merely puts some hair out of his face and hesitatnly boops his nose. His smile turns softer. Quickly he grabs his hand and kisses his wrist softly. The man stiffens and he laughs before lifting himself up a little bit to start to kiss his way up the arm.

Peter breathing goes up and when he checks his face is completely red, not only that but he doesn't seem to know where to look. God he is so cute.

Laughing softly he keeps going, advancing like he wants, grateful he was wearing a short sleeve. Once he reaches the fabric of his clothes he jumps up directly to kissing him in the mouth, now that they were at the same height. Its good.

More importantly he feels the other unwind and reciprocate. Elias is honestly in a cloud right now, whatever was upsetting him was definitely out of mind, the feels of his sometimes husband slightly chapped lips pressed against his, his hitched breath at the whispered words that he knows makes him usually run, but not today, now now, make ti all the better and sweeter. Of course that's when the man tries to get closer and ends up rolling too much falling half on top of him. They both groan at first, but then-

Then he starts to laugh uncontrollably, Peter pouts but chuckles along before pressing his face on the crook of his neck. Far bigger than him, but always awfully cuddly when he can get away with it.

“What?” Peter shakes his head.

“You are not going to remember any of this are you?” He blinks a few times and after measuring it he has to admit he drank too much.

“Mmmmayhaps not?” A kiss to the neck.

“Good” Ah, that's why he is so sappy. Loneliness by being the only one who recalls this.

“Peter?”

“Mm?” Well if he is not going to might as well go out?

“Want to danceeee”

“No”

“Please?” Silence.

A resigned sigh.

“I hate you” Elias smiles and kisses the top of his head.

“No you dont-”

They get up and he is shakily clutching Peter who merely spins him around the room without rhyme or reason, but that in his addled mine is the closest to waltz he can manage with his coordination at hand. He spends most of it laughing and talking and occasionally just leaning up to get more kisses, that Peter obliges. Silly, silly man!!

In the end he drags him to bed and they lay down to sleep, not before his husband leaves him a cup of water and some pills for an upcoming headache in the morning. Once in bed he snuggles closer to Peter who lets him and curves himself around him.

“... It's the anniversary of Barnabas death”

“... Which one-?”

“The skull, your- Mordechai?”

“Ahh the lonely one” He stays there in warmth not as bothered by it anymore.

“Would you watch me and still let me die little pufferfish?” He scrunches up his nose and thinks, but the answer has always been the same.

“Yes… would you hate me for it?” Peter doesn't answer and he is almost asleep before he hears the answer.

“No, i dont think i could, i know how you are, it would be stupid of me to do it” It was the answer he was expecteng yet having it confirmed lifted something out from him, a small weight he wasnt expecting.

“Thank you, love you Peter”

“...You too my lovely downfall”

Elias sleeps and dreams of foggy beaches with lost rings and skulls. One day he will miss Peter just as he does for Barnabas he is sure of it.

[wayward-mikaelson]

Centuries--Four

Word Count: 2715

Pairing: None

Characters: Reader, Dean, Cas, Sam, Hezekiah, Maggie, 

Summary: Cas and Reader see the flashback of the Reader killing Maggie and also learn that the Reader was working with Hezekiah to bring Michael back. Having the knowledge that only the angel she worked with can help her, she leaves the bunker without the boys.

Disclaimer: Language, Panic Attack, Lying, Blood and Gore, Character Death

A/N: So sorry this one is out late. It’s been crazy busy at home and I wanted this to be perfect. 

A/N 2: Tell me what you think!!!! I love hearing what you all think

A/N 3: Tag all your spn accounts so they can check this out!

Forever Tag List: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @hobby27​ @elansaidaris​ @440mxs-wife​

Dean/Jensen Tag List: @sandlee44​ @squirrelnotsam​ @akshi8278​ 

*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN 18 WILL NEED TO MOVE ALONG. I DO NOT WANT TO RISK MY PAGE AND WORK GETTING THANOSED.

**PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND WITHOUT GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDITS. REBLOGS AND SHARING THE LINKS ARE OKAY.

***THIS WORK IS ALSO POSTED ON IG, WATTPAD, AND AO3 PLEASE GO SHOW IT SOME LOVE THERE AS WELL.

FLASHBACK

I walk out of the cabin while cursing Hezekiah. He didn't want to do anything to get his self righteous of an angel ass hands dirty. So he sends me to his bidding. Something that I'm happy to do if it meant seeing 'him' again. Other times I'm not so up to it. Not many people know I'm alive so I try and make my outing short and brief. I've contemplated dying my hair but never really gotten around to it since most of my errands end with me covered in blood or a nearly broken bone.

I toss my bag into the back of the car and get into the drivers seat and start my trip from Texas to Kansas. I don't make too many stops unless it's for food or to quickly use the restroom. This is going to be one of the trickiest errands I've had. Hezekiah needs something from Lebanon. From the bunker. I know that bunker like the back of my hand and knew where there were secret passage ways that led to rooms and such. As long as they weren't there, everything will go smoothly. If they were there, well, I'm going have to cross that bridge when I get there.

I park in a well hidden spot away from the Bunker and head there on foot. Part of me wants to run into them and see what they have been up to. Maybe he has moved on. Maybe there is a new woman in his life that can make him smile the way I used to do. The other part of me doesn't want to run in to them because I know it will complicate the thing I'm doing with Hezekiah. If he has moved on, it certianly will complicate things with the other woman.

"Focus," I tell myself. "Your only mission is to get the blood and get out."

I hear a twig snap in the distance and it raises the hairs on my back of my neck. I slowly draw my small blade and turn around. There isn't anyone. Must have been a deer. I turn back around and there she is. Standing there and making my job a little less complicated. I slowly put my blade away and approach her.

"YN?" The look on her face is disbelief. Her eyes look me over a millions times before I get a foot away from her. "Is it really you?" The smile on her face pulls at my heart strings. I thought I could do this job but, I don't think I can. "Oh...my...fucking...God! It is you! Everyone will be so happy!" She throws her arms around me and hugs me tight. I return the hug as well. I miss her terribly.

"Maggie," I say her name and feel the heart strings pull harder. I almost just say screw this thing Hezekiah has going on but, I dont. "You can't tell anyone." I pull away from her.

"Why not?" Maggie asks looking confused. "Dean has been miserable without you and Sam," Her voice breaks a bit. "He's broken up seeing his brother like this. He stays up all night most nights making sure Dean doesn't just off himself."

I feel the tears start to form in the corner of my eyes. I hold them back though. I can't let her see that this effects me. I can't let her see that I miss him with everything in me but he wouldn't understand this. He wouldn't understand that I also need to see someone else.

I lick my lips and sit against the nearest tree. Maggie follows me. Part of me wants to scream for her run because of what I need to do. But again, I don't. "Did you and Sam ever hook up?" I ask her. I need to change the subject away from him.

Maggie blushes a bit. "We've talked about going out but, ever since we burned your body..."Her voice trails off. "There has never been a perfect time. I mean he's kissed me a few times but that's about it." Good, I think. That's really good but, also so very terribly sad. "What have you been up to and when the hell did  you get back?"

"Some months ago," I smile a little. My hidden hand fumbles with the blade at my side. I need to make this quick. "I'm working on brining Michael back."

"What?" Maggie exclaims. "Why would you do that? He needs to stay in that crystal at the bottom of the ocean!"

With one quick, swift, and fluid movement, I slash her throat with my blade. "Because I need to and you're apart of what we need to bring him back. Blood from his world."

I watch as Maggie holds her throat, trying to keep the blood from spilling out. But the would is too deep, the blood seeps between her fingers. I take my camel back and open it and shove her bloody hand aside. I let as much blood spill into the bag as I can. I see the look in her eyes. Surprise and betrayal linger. She's gasping for air and as she does more blood spills out and down her neck and into her shirt.

When I'm satisfied with what I need and gently lay her down on the ground. I sit with her as she struggles to breath. Struggles to talk even. The light in her eyes start to fade. Her breathing slows and she stops talking. She's dead a few minutes later and I let a few tears fall. I lean over and close her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I needed to do this and I couldn't let you live."

I get up and angrily pull out my phone. I hit send on Hezekiah's number and it goes straight to voicemail. Damn self righteous, feathered ass dick needs to pick up the phone when I call. "I got your fucking blood, you asshole," I angrily say into the phone. "I hope your pompous dickless ass is satisfied." I hang up and shove the phone back into my pocket.

END OF FLASHBACK

I gasp for air once I am able to focus on everything in the room around me. I see Dean lean up off the door. Worry takes over his face. I feel Cas's hand slowly move from the sides of my head. I'm sure surprise is on his. My breathing is picking up and my body is cold and shivering. So many questions are running through my head right now but I need to process what the fuck I had just seen. What I did. Sam is never going to forgive me. Sam is most likely going to want to kill me if or when he finds out that it was me that killed Maggie. Actually there is no 'if' he finds out, it's only a matter of when he finds out.

"Untie me," I barely get out and yank at the binds that held me to the chair. Dean is moving but for some reason he's moving slow. "Fucking untie me, damn it." I scream and thrash around in the chair. Deans soothing words echo in the room as he quickly unties me. The binds come undone and I get up and sink against the nearest wall. I hug my legs to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut. My heart is beating hard in my chest. The tears are flowing

"What the hell happened?" Dean asks Cas. I can hear the worry in his voice "Did we get the answer we need?  

"Yes," I hear Cas say. He sounds like he's catching his breath too. That must have taken a lot of energy. "And then some."

"So, tell me what happened," Dean demands. More from Cas than me.

I open my eyes and see Dean is kneeling next to me, staring at Cas who is also trying to process what had happened. What I did. Cas looks back at me and I have that 'oh shit' moment again. I take a deep breath and take Deans hand in mine.

"Dean," I say swallowing hard. He looks at me. The worry that he wears on his face makes me not want to tell him what happened. But I need to. I hold his hand tighter. "I killed Maggie. I killed her to bring Michael back."

I feel Dean slowly pull his hand away. I know it's not at the news of me telling him that I was the one who killed Maggie. It's at the news of brining Michael back. Dean knows about the connection Michael and I had. He knew of the dream like sex Michael and I had. This must feel like an absolute betrayal to him and I don't blame him for feeling that way.

"Cas," Deans voice is almost a whisper when he speaks. "Are you able to go back in? Tear down the wall so we can know more?"

"No," Cas says. "My energy was nearly drained. Something was pushing me back. And no I cannot tear down the wall. It is an angelic wall of protection used to keep things out once a traumatic even happens. So maybe when YN woke up covered in blood the other day. The angel that put it there has to be the one to remove it."

"Then we find that angel," Dean stands up and starts to walk out the room. "That wall needs to come down so we can know more about if Michael is back." He turns back to me. I see some hurt in his eyes and I hate myself for it. What other horrible things have I done?

"I'm sorry," I choke out.

"I know," Dean looks away from me. My heart hurts even more but, I brought this upon myself. "No one speaks a word of this to Sam. He can't know about this yet." Dean leaves the room leaving me with Cas.

Cas walks over to me and helps me to my feet. "Michael is a huge sore spot for Dean. It is a part of his life that he wants to erase. So hearing that he could or is back...just give him some space."

"So it has nothing to do with the mark or the dream sex?" I ask wiping my face of tears.

Cas shakes his head. "Dean knows that Michael only used you as a pawn in his plan."

I fake a smile. "Okay."

The rest of the day is slow. I spent more time in my room that I wanted. Dean doesn't ignore me at all. He checks in on me and makes sure I'm doing okay. He makes sure I have water or soda or even a strong drink at hand and some food to eat. This eases my mind some. Dean even tells me that he isn't mad about my past with Michael. Just that we have to deal with him again.

The real reason why I'm in my room is that Sam is back at the bunker and every time I saw his face before retreating into my room, I saw Maggies happy face when she talked about Sam and then I would see her lifeless face. The blood that slowly flowed from her neck. I knew that I couldn't face Sam without him knowing the truth.

"So when should we go after this spineless dick?" Dean says in my doorway. He's holding a six pack and a box of pizza. He looks so attractive right now. Any girls dream come true. I remember first meeting him, he was the kind to have multiple one night stands. Then slowly those stopped and eventually he somehow started to chase me and I guess death wouldn't stop that.

"I honestly don't know," I pat the spot next to on my bed and Dean waltz on in. Its a lie and I don't want him knowing I already have a plan in place. Dean cracks open two beers and hands me one while I get myself a slice of pizza. "The more I want to know what else I've done the more I'm scared as hell to find out." Now thats the truth. I want to know but freaked the fuck out that I could have killed another human to bring Michael back.

"Whatever we plan," Dean takes my hand and kisses it. For someone who claims he hates the romance part of relationships he does that part really well. "We are in this together."

"Together," I repeat.

After a few old crappy movies, Dean is out. His soft snores tell me he's already in a deep sleep. I pick up the beer bottles and pizza box and stuff them in the kitchen trash. I make my way back to the room and stare at Dean sleeping there in my bed. I could lay next to him for another hour but I know I will pass out and I wouldn't have another opportunity like this again.

Taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, I pull out a duffle bag and start to shove clothes and stuff into the bag. I sneak to Deans room and throw a few guns in another bag. I head back to my room and leave a small note for Dean propped up on a glass of water. I lean towards him and kiss his forehead. I hate to do this and it kills me but, I need to do this. To protect Dean.

I make my way  towards the kitchen again and grab a random set of keys to the many cars in the bunker. Just as I was about to walk into the bunker garage, I run right into Sam.

"Hey there," Sam steadies me. "Dean says you haven't been feeling good." Then he notices the bags I carry. "You're leaving?"

I scoot pass Sam without making any kind of eye contact with him. I can't look him in the eyes knowing what I did. "I have a lead on how to get my memories back. I'm going to check it out."

"By yourself?" Sam asks. "Dean told me that Cas tried to access your memories but you have a very strong wall up. Only the angel who put it there will be able to take it down."

I decide to turn around and look at Sam. He doesn't know and he looks at peace right now. "I have to." I adjust the bags on my shoulders as they are starting to feel heavy. "It deals with Michael and I don't want Dean to be apart of this because of Michael. We don't know if his body will get hijacked again." Thats a lie, I remember that dream I had on the way to the bunker where there was vessel like thing in the room with a dreaded hair man. Maybe that's Hezekiah.

"Well let me come with you," Sam suggets.

"No," I quickly say. "You can't. You have to stay here."

Sam stares at me. I can tell that he's trying to figure out what's going on. I can see the red flags that he sees. "Something happened that Dean doesn't want me to know, is that right? I can tell in your eyes that you're freaked out."

I lick my lips. "A memory he doesn't want you knowing about just yet."

"What is it?" Sam asks firmly.

I take a deep breath. Dean is going to super pissed at when he finds out that I told his baby brother. Swallowing deeply I say, "The memory that Cas was able to pull out from me was me killing Maggie."

As if it were in slow motion, I see Sams face fall. I watch the color drain from his face. Sadness, pain and anger replace whatever emotions he had on before. He just stares at me and I see a small tear from his eyes. All I want to do is hug him and tell him how sorry I am. But I know nothing i do will be able to make him feel better.

I quickly turn on my heel and rush to the garage. I throw my bag into the car whose key I chose and was on the road in less than ten minutes. A minute later my phone rings. I look at it and see that it's Dean calling.

[voidlitmoon]

Familiar Faces, Connected Stories

4 months later, @sugarglider9603 I finally finished the second half!! :D Ohmygosh I'm so sorry for the wait, but thank you all for being so patient, alot has happened including the absolutely dreaded writers block. All of your comments, likes/kudos, reblogs (on Tumblr) have been helping me finish this chapter, so I really want to thank you guys for enjoying this💙💙💙💙

Another important note, but there is a reason I'm posting this today. That's because today (April 2nd) is my 16th birthday! I actually finished this on Monday (March 30th) but I decided to wait the few days so it would be a bit more special (also yes I know it's late I'm posting this, imma be busy all day so night posting it is!)

Also dont worry, if your new here (go check out the previous stories in the Master Post link!) do note I'm going to be writing my interpretation of the pokebois evolutions :D that and more short side stories are coming asap

Alright I've held you long enough, do enjoy!

Bonus note: this fic (Runaway Eevees) is what Sugar has said cannonly happened of how Remus and Deceit met the group, so if you wanna read that go ahead (it's a good read) :D

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Part 5 (chapter 1) Part 6

Master Post

Words: 2,931

Summery: ' Virgil's eyes widened "you've all met before" he looked at all five Eevee's faces, finding guilt in three and confusion in the other two "when, how? Was it before I met all of you?" He scratched at the ground.

His brother-father figure perked up behind him "you.. never told him?" He questioned the three trained Eevees, who all shuffled their feet. "We didn't want to worry him?" Roman tried, only for his trash brother to growl. '

The group will finally tell their stories, revealing past connections, and making new ones for the journey ahead

Chapter 2

Virgil watched as Thomas set his hands on Roman and Logan's backs, putting a halt on the growling. Well, for now at least.

He inwardly sighed, he knew the others where protective, heck he himself was being protective of his brothers at the moment. But this much hostility to other pokemon he obviously knew? He even saw Patton's tail twitching, as though the father figure wanted to pull Virgil away but was resisting.

He remembered when he first met this group of misfits, that field of flowers where Patton taught him how to make flower crowns. Yes Logan was sitting out, but Roman pounced at any opportunity to play with any wild pokemon, and Patton came right over to join the dark furred Eevee the second he showed himself. Them acting this way around pokemon they never met..

Virgil's eyes widened "you've all met before" he looked at all five Eevee's faces, finding guilt in three and confusion in the other two "when, how? Was it before I met all of you?" He scratched at the ground.

His brother-father figure perked up behind him "you.. never told him?" He questioned the three trained Eevees, who all shuffled their feet. "We didn't want to worry him?" Roman tried, only for his trash brother to growl.

"Well!" Thomas clapped, startling them all "I'm guessing you guys need to talk about something, and since language barriers exist and food still needs to be cooked, I'm going to go burn that. Don't faint each other!" The trainer stood up from his chair making his way to the pile of berries, leaving several Eevees that probably would faint each other before speaking a word.

Virgil huffed, suspicious and annoyed "alright, first things first!" He chirped in a light tone, though it was clear the growl that accompanied it reached all the others ears "would anyone mind telling me how you've all met?"

______________________________

"-and then you woke up with no knowledge of what went down, so we just didn't tell you" Roman finished lamely. All five Eevees had taken their own bits and pieces of the story to tell, mainly because when two started arguing Virgil would hiss them down. Other than that, the dark furred Eevee didn't speak a word and kept his face neutral throughout.

Virgil sighed, flicking his tail "so you never thought once why two random Eevees took me? Logan, I thought you were the smart one. Well" he added and Logan's ears started to lower in shame "you are the smartest one here, just not about this.

"And you two" the youngest turned his head "did it occur to you that you could have just gone up and asked?" He paused, realizing the answer before the marked Eevee spoke.

"Well," he mumbled, "for one we thought they were the ones that took you in the first place. You just disappeared that day" Virgil shuddered, remembering that was true, though the truck story could be told another day "plus they're.. caught pokemon" he finished. "Ya" Virgil continued "just like me."

"But-" the stink covered Eevee tried, but Virgil shook his head.

"Thomas met me several times before I joined the team, in fact from the story Logan and Patton have told me" he flicked his tail to the shiny pair of parents "Thomas wouldn't let himself catch them until both of them made it clear they wanted to join his journey."

Patton nodded "before Thomas saved us, twice if you count the Team Rocket members in the marketplace, we never trusted humans. Most of the time humans tried to steal us for our fur color, Thomas was different" the father figure hesitated, "it.. kind of felt like a puzzle piece clicking into place when we met."

All the Eevees blinked as Thomas hummed in the background. None of the Eevees had ever mentioned to another about a feeling of a puzzle piece, Thomas had once made a comment of it, but the three there to witness that were more focused on Virgil's tail slipping into the bushes. The two unnamed Eevees even remembered when they first met Virgil hidden in the dumpster, they had felt some kind of connection.

"That.. wasn't just me who's been feeling that when we all meet?" Roman voice stumbled, eyes widening even more as the other 5 shook their heads.

"Well, you all seem to be in a better mood" Thomas chuckled, causing them all to jump. "Woah" he calmed, laughing.

 "Well, food is all ready and prepared, there's enough for you guys as well" he grinned at the newbies.

The two hesitated at the idea of food, but with a comforting chirp from their brother, they followed.

______________________________

With dinner cleaned away (Thomas somehow managing not to burn anything, Logan praised happily) the group curled before a campfire as the trainer roasted marshmallows (these, he did manage to burn more often than not).

Virgil spent this time explaining to both groups how he knew both sides, of how trash and marked Eevees saved him (he didn't explain what he was escaping from), how he really was taken from them, how he met the group in the field of flowers, and how he finally stayed with Thomas for good. By the end of the story his head was laid on the ground as he cuddled Roman (a late addition during the story time, since when he explained they were boyfriends the trash covered Eevee full on tackled Roman) listening to the fire crackle. Wispy clouds drifted lazily across the sky as the night crawling forest pokemon howled and chirped and hooted.

He looked at his family, most of his past was back in his life; but for how long? He shuddered and curled more into Roman's warm fur, hating the realization he might lose them again after looking for so long. They wouldn't want to be with a trainer, especially even if it meant having Virgil being back in their lives.

Virgil. He nearly spat the name at the ground. He wanted one again for so long, from the day he hatched he had one before it and everything was taken away by.. her. He vowed never to take a name again, especially from a human. If he did, would he be betraying his oldest family connection? What would Sleep and Pecha think of his now, their little Star taking a new name, only for this one to probably drive these brothers away.

Virgil lifted his head up, staring at the two nameless pokemon maybe four tail lengths away. Why did they keep searching for him anyways?

He startled as Roman nudged his cheek. "Sorry" the starter apologized "you just dazed off staring at those two, I was wondering if you were ok."

Virgil sighed "I.. I was just wondering, why did they follow me" he mumbled, unable to look at anyone he opted to stare up at the sky. Unfortunately the world decided to push the clouds out of the clearings sky view, only piling on more of his original family's guilt. He never went searching for that farm ever again after his.. escape, and knowing Thomas they wouldn't go 100 feet anywhere near there with Patton, Logan, and Virgil. Sure, Sleep was reckless, but Pecha would be sensible enough to know not to go out into the world, an unknown area only Eevees who were taken by trainers ever saw. Those puzzle pieces were probably lost to time.

But these two.. he looked back down, Star's eyes trailing at all of his family's faces, stopping at the two. They were here, close enough in one bound he could tackle them. Why did they come, why did they care enough to try and steal him back from (what they knew at the time) hostile people and pokemon? Why did they keep looking, why did he keep looking?

Why.. did he keep looking? Virgil stood up, eyes widening. Because they were, they are family. Family he didn't want to lose, he couldn't lose any more of them. With a push from his hind legs and a squeak of surprise from Roman as he momentarily turned into a launch pad, Virgil crashed into his brothers.

"Shit, wha-" one of them cried, getting cut off as Virgil curled close.

"Please don't leave me again" Virgil chirped quietly, to the point only the two he was curled against him could hear. Virgil burrowed closer "please" he whispered "I can't lose anyone again."

The two looked at each other in surprise. They thought, well Virgil wouldn't want them to stick around. From how he told the story they would never (and probably want never) to take the smallest away from this team, and from the looks of it the three Eevees didn't trust them much right now. They didn't, right?

They usually would never hang around a human more than a few moments, never used to having a family bigger than just the three of them. It seemed logically from their past for it to be near impossible for this human and three of his pokemon to ever trust them.

..But

But it was like the light silver shiny had said earlier, they could feel the puzzle pieces there, already connected to Virgil and ready to connect with them all. A human, who was like none other. He had witnessed them take one of his own, but when that one showed he still trusted the two misfits, the trainer opened his arms, gave them food for no other reason than one he trusted showed they trusted the two strangers.

And the three Eevees, Virgil seemed to trust them to the ends of the Earth. Patton had offered them to join their meal right away. Roman had laughed off the trash Eevees tackle and just said Logan's reaction had been similar. Logan, while seeming to be the least likely one to want them here, listened to their half of the story without interrupting unless to give more detail, and was showing trust even now by watching from the fire's other side, not moving an inch. They trusted them in a way.

No, they didn't think of these four as family yet, but for the first time since they met Virgil, since they met each other, there seemed to be a chance to make that come true.

"Ok", the marked Eevee nudged Virgil "we'll think about it overnight."

For some reason, they realized they wouldn't even need that time.

Because the best part of staying was not only they would gain a whole family, one they would perhaps one day learn they could always trust, but they would regain their brother. Their brother they would have searched for eternity to find, and given anything to stay with.

______________________________

Thomas yawned as he sat up, Patton rolling off the trainer's shoulder still fast asleep and swapped to flopping over a passed out Logan, who was moments ago tucked between Thomas's ear and shoulder. The human glanced around, finding Roman (who always moved in his sleep) laying across the sleeping bag where his left ankle was. Last but not least Virgil was curled under a cuddle puddle with the two new Eevees from last night off next to his sleeping bag, the only contact being Virgil's tail brushing Roman's.

The trainer chuckled and slid his foot away from it's prison, quietly hissing as he tested the tingling foot. Of course it was asleep. Well, the best way to wake it up was to get active so..

 

The dirty Eevee stretched, rolling off from the top of the cuddle puddle. He let out a small oof when he came in contact with the floor a moment later than he expected. The strange, definitely not earth floor….

Eevee blinked, watching not one but two of his brothers curl together sleeping. Yesterday wasn't a dream he realized happily, watching the three other Eevees scattered throughout the tent sleep. A pleasant smell carried his paws out of the durable plastic flap, emerging to a bright, just after dawn day. The human (Thomas his always chaotic mind somehow supplied) was back making more hot food. Well, at least he seemed to be attempting with varying success, a stack of nice enoughly done pancakes sat on a plate to his left, with a smaller (but not by much) pile of black crispy pancakes to his right. Now the left crispy brown ones looked appealing, the Eevee thought the crispy, burnt pancakes smelled like a gift from Arceus himself.

 

Thomas stumbled in surprise when the stack of miserable pancakes clattered to the ground, only to laugh as he watched the dirtier of the Eevee pair dive at them hungrily.

"Well breakfast won't be ready for a bit more, but I wouldn't mind the early clean up crew" he giggled as the Eevee glanced up only for a moment, only to turn to back and attack the pancakes again.

"Just make sure not to scatter them too far" Thomas warned kindly, turning back to the camping stove " we'll have to clean up afterwards." The trainer smiled as the Eevee chirped in agreement.

 

Soon the others crawled out, and the burnt pancake (and other foods Thomas just didn't get right) devourer went to chirp and chat with the others. Food was served, equipment packed, and about two hours later Thomas was adjusting everything onto his back. If it hasn't been for Logan, Thomas knew he would never have had his stuff packed so neatly.

"Welp" Thomas said out loud "it's time to get going, we have a gym challenge next town" his four cheered different levels of excitement. He turned to the two wild runners "I guess this is goodbye for now" he smiled

After so many run-ins with Virgil, Thomas had skillfully learned how to hide his heart ripping out everytime he had to leave puzzle pieces behind.

This skill came into play hard when Virgil looked up at the trainer with such sorrow, Thomas nearly burst to tears right then and there. Instead he smiled, offering a hand for comforting pets. Virgil did not walk near the hand, instead letting out and angry hiss.

Thomas shook his head, wishing he could fully understand what Virgil was saying, but got the message "I can't force them, you know better than anyone here that I only bring members on my team if they want to join. Never by force, I always give an option."

Virgil wine was cut off though as the dirty Eevee snapped from his frozen trance and bounded forwards, stepping up to Thomas and putting his paw onto the human's hand. Somewhere in him remembered a similar interaction with Roman when they first met, but that was washed away when the other Eevee came up and chirped something, only to get tackled by Virgil right after.

"Oh" Thomas realized, smiling "I'm guessing that's a good thing?" He asked his team beside him. Patton nodded excitedly, Roman purred, and Logan merely flicked his tail positively.

"I guess I can do this then" he slid out two pokeballs, setting them on the ground. The wild pair looked at eachother one last time before the smaller marked one nodded, and both touched the white button.

 

"So" Thomas asked as the group wandered down the trail, focusing on the pair walking (or in the dirtier ones case bouncing) by his feet "I was wondering if I could offer giving you names? You don't have to, but-" Virgil rubbed the trainer's cheek from his spot in the hood, stopping the human's splutter of words before chirping some of his own down. The two below responded after a moment and Virgil gave off a purr as a signal: both had agreed it would be ok.

"Alright.." he mumbled. Earlier events of when the dirt covered Eevee had offered his paw in the same way Roman had came rushing back, turning and twisting until a name suddenly formed "how about Remus for you?" He wondered. Said Eevee stumbled as though surprised, but after a moment Remus gave a happy chirp, Thomas smiled in return.

Finally there was the Eevee with the special marks on his face. There was something in his mind that he felt for some reason, it just felt right for him to call the other 

"Janus" he mumbled by accident out loud, the trainer's eyes widened as he glanced curiously at the pokemon "what about Janus?" The Eevee seemed to think hard although weighing the name vs. something only he saw, he knew. Before Thomas could speak the little Eevee glaced up and nodded, the most determined nod he had gotten out of the six of them for figuring out their name.

Six of them.

Thomas grinned widely as all six of his Eevees walked or rode on him. It had all started with Roman, the first time Thomas had found a puzzle piece. Then Patton and Logan, Virgil, and finally Remus and Janus. It felt right, like he was home. Like he was with family.

"It's interesting," he voiced quietly to his team "how many of us have seen each other before really meeting each other. There's even more to explore in the future, so many possibilities, so many mysteries. But I'm glad" he sighed gleefully as the distant sound of cars passed. The town was close by.

"I'm glad I get to do it with so many familiar faces. I'm glad that we all have connected stories. I.. honestly couldn't imagine walking our next journey without you guys, my completed puzzle

My family."