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LIFE IS A GAME

"Don't assume your dreams are just fantasies. If you can imagine a world, believe in it...and dive in" - Kingdom Hearts III

Since I was a child, I have always had a big imagination. Whenever I would be all by myself, I wouldn't feel that I was alone because I'd imagine many scenarios in my head, I was a princess who loved to throw soirées, or sometimes I would be in a mission to save the kingdom, and I would meet new friends along the way. Growing up, this trait has become one of my coping mechanisms whenever I want to escape reality. That's why I was fond of playing Role Playing Games (RPG) at an early age. Creating my own world or being in a world that you can control was therapeutic for me because I had control. Unlike in the real world, you don't have control over most of what's happening around you.

Gaming is very significant in my life because it isn't just also an outlet of escape for me. It also taught me many attributes that I can apply in reality. There are many studies on how gaming can help a person in real life. According to (Tyler, 2021) video games are beneficial in engaging with different facets of our daily lives. Some of the benefits are physical, psychological, and social. Contrary to popular belief, they can promote healthy living and increased social activity through various avenues.

So here are the things that gaming personally helped me in real life:

Gaming Helps With Real-World Problem Solving and Decision-Making

Playing in role-playing games like Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy has helped me develop my problem-solving and decision-making on the spot. Because usually, in RPGs, you are the one who decides what strategies and tactics that can make you win the game and continue the story. This is very useful in reality because there are situations that require you to decide on the spot, and you must think of alternatives when things don't come your way.

Gaming Can Make You Less Anti-Social

I personally don't get why there's this notion that people who play video games is that those who do are awkward social rejects. Gaming can actually make you more sociable and make you more open to a diverse group of people.

I am an avid fan of Square Enix games. Since new media introduced us to easy and fast communication, I have discovered a community with the same interest as mine from all over the world. I enjoyed the different insights and takes on the games we love, and I am amazed at how a society can be formed by video games.

Gaming is Learning

In one article in Record Head, it was mentioned that on a basic level, when playing video games, your brain is working and growing. As you figure out how a game works and complete puzzles to master a level, you are creating new connections in your mind. The more motivated you are to beat the game, the more your brain is working and the more you are learning. Continued learning and stimulating your brain is essential to keeping it healthy as you age. Many video games are also set in different eras or historical settings, such as Assassin's Creed and Grand Theft Auto. When playing these games, you are not only having fun, but you're also learning about history. When a player enjoys the story or setting of these games, they may be motivated to continue learning more about it on their own.

Relating this as a Communication student, exposing myself to different eras has helped me become creative in conceptualizing themes in production and content.

It's Okay To Try Again

I was an uptight person, and I didn't see failure in a positive way back then. Gaming reminded me to forgive myself, and it's okay to make mistakes. When we play video games, the game doesn't end. Just like in the real world, we are bound to fail. But that doesn't mean it is the end when we do. We can do better the next try because we already know where we went wrong.

Given the points I mentioned, we cannot deny that video games are beneficial when it comes to developing our minds, social skills, and way of coping. But, we must bear in mind that we must play or consume video games in moderation. There is nothing wrong with wanting to escape reality, but you can also make gaming your reality by applying the lessons you learn from it.

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Taking A Step Back From Our Smartphones

"Sometimes you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time for yourself."

After conquering a tiring and stressful prelims week, that felt like a month, I finally had the chance to join my family over dinner. But being just a meter away from my devices, especially my phone, I can't seem to have peace of mind. That same night, my mom and I had a conversation about smartphones. She gave me a lot of negative points about it, but only one stood out: smartphones have made people detached from the real world.

Naturally, as a person born in the digital era and has more information about how it works, I thought otherwise. I defended how smartphones are the best thing because they helped me with my academics and social life. It also opened many opportunities, and I was able to book freelance jobs for I had platforms where I could share my works and passions. However, after giving much thought to her claims, she may be right.

We cannot deny that smartphones have immensely helped us, especially ever since the pandemic landed in our country. It made us continue our education, gave us a lot of access to information, provided up-to-date news, and it helped us go through the lockdown. I can only imagine what it would be like if we didn't have the comfort of our smartphones while being forced to stay in the house for almost two years. We were so confined and deprived of physical human interaction that it made us feel we needed to have a social media presence. Because we had no choice. Everything was possible through an online setup. Smartphones also made our errands and shopping a lot easier and hassle-free to do. Even though we were still a covid-free country, online banking, grocery, and shopping were already a thing.

But I can't help admit that smartphones did make people detached, including me. The reality is that with each day that passes by, we do nothing more than immerse ourselves in a dangerous, artificial world where we get nothing positive in response. (Barrientos, 2019)

According to (Barnes 2018), a study conducted by researchers at The University of British Columbia revealed that smartphone distractions have reduced the enjoyment of face-to-face interactions. The loss of interpersonal communication is especially true among university students since they grew up with mobile technology. Furthermore, he also stated that the World Health Organization (WHO) noted that the situation is reaching beyond our control and that from a health standpoint, it has become relevant to our health. The abuse of smartphones and social media can have a negative effect on our personal lives too, on our goals and social relationships.

Another point from the article of (Barnes 2018), a Cabrini psychologist Dr. Eliza Costoso stated that a cell phone is not a substitute for a human connection. She said that it can often be considered a distraction when engaging with others, leaving the other party to feel ignored.

Based on experience and from the claims that I have mentioned earlier, I can strongly agree. My social and academic life is inside a screen, and it got worse due to the current situation. Even though it was hard for me to balance my time when we could still go outside, I cannot deny I preferred the "old normal" more. Back then, when using my smartphone, I had boundaries with my schooling and socializing with people. Whenever I am at home, I am a daughter, sister, and aunt, and when I am at school, I am a student, orgmate, and friend. But now, when I want to commit myself to my family or give myself a breather from everything, I can't completely do it—even if I turn off my notifications and internet connection. I always find myself switching it back on to check my messages in case there were new announcements from my professors, blockmates, and bosses. As a result, I have no energy left to interact with people digitally and personally. Our phones were a form of stress reliever since they can distract us from the real world and our stress with school and work-related responsibilities. But now, it causes us stress and hinders us from really talking to people face-to-face.

Our phone can bring you joy, new insights, and thoughtful moments. It can make you feel less alone. At the same time, it can cause envy, sadness, self-criticism, and even disillusionment or distrust. It's a real rollercoaster of emotions, and all too often, we don't enjoy the ride. If not consumed the right way and with extra precautions, our social media feeds become an insidious fiend. They start controlling our behavior and thought processes. They attack our mental health and relationships. Therefore, it is essential to have distance from the online world because it can get toxic and potentially drain you. (Sangerma, 2020)

Realizing this, I had to take action because my mental and physical health was weakening. I began to refuse social interaction, everyday chats, and other genuine conversations.

Akbari (2018) asserts that our phone should be a conscious choice. A positive tool — something useful in your life, not something that detracts from it. There is life beyond the phone, but experiencing its richness requires mindfulness and discipline. So whether your goal is to be more meaningfully connected, emit more empathy, or be smarter, the data is in: Silence and put away your phone.

I am not bragging. It is still a work in progress because it may sound easy, but it's not. My body and mind got so used to this type of setup that I forgot I could do physical activities besides being inside my room, facing the screen the whole day. There are times I have difficulty reminding myself that people are not entitled to my time. But little by little, I practiced giving myself time to take a step back and just be present, regardless if it was for the people I am currently with or for me. I did physical activities like exercising and helping out in the household. I have brought back my love for sketching and indulged myself with a good book (and no, not an e-book)—anything that would make me stay away from my smartphone and other mobile devices.

Barnes, J. (2018, April 23). Connected digitally, disconnected in reality. Loquitur. Retrieved October 29, 2021, from https://www.theloquitur.com/connected-digitally-disconnected-in-reality/

Barrientos, D. (2019, May 6). Connected To Phones, Disconnected From Reality. The Discoverer. Retrieved October 29, 2021, from https://thediscoverer.columbus.edu.co/opinion/connected-to-phones-disconnected-from-reality/

Jackson, S., & Carver, R. (2014). Is Your Phone Disconnecting You from the World? Good Choice Good Life. Retrieved October 29, 2021, from http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/-phone-time/

Sangerma, E. (2021, October 1). How to Do a Social Media Detox (and Why You Should Right Away). Medium. Retrieved October 29, 2021, from https://medium.com/swlh/how-to-do-a-social-media-detox-and-why-you-should-right-away-91fca8841aee

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Born To Say Goodbye

"You set alight in, my heart and mind, my beautiful chaos."

- Atticus

Why does the universe make us meet people and convince us to pour all our love into them until we don't have left for ourselves, only to find out they weren't meant to stay?

We trust them by exposing our vulnerabilities and telling our most buried secrets that we are ashamed of admitting and facing. We include them in everything we do, consider their judgments, try to incorporate their hobbies for us to have more in common. We get comfort from their presence alone. Then one day, they leave.

We begin to hate the faces we once enjoyed staring at, as they can continue with their lives like we never existed in the first place. We were imaginary friends only created inside their minds when they were lonely and could brush off easily.

But then we gradually realize what we're feeling towards them wasn't hatred; it was envy. We envied their happiness and their ability to move on so swiftly. The only thing that saves us from fully resenting them is the chain of blissful memories we have of them that we tightly hold on to.

We reflect and reassess what we did wrong, and when we thought we got it all sorted out, we try again to the next person we meet and cherish. But this time there were some changes. We don't reveal our damaged parts, and we reshape who we are. It doesn't matter if it feels out of place, just as long as they stay.

But they don't.

Once more, we ponder what we may have done wrong, and we try and try again, losing ourselves in the process. Yet still, the scenario keeps on repeating itself until we get frightened of letting somebody in.

This situation has been happening innumerable times in my life, and I still have no answers to why this pattern remains. I know to myself it isn't my fault. But the thought that it is, slowly poisons my mind every day.

But I have to face the reality that this is part of living. Only time can tell if the people I encounter will stay or are just passing by, only intended to give lessons and learnings. The only way to find out is to provide a little piece of myself, presenting only a glimpse of who I am, with the hopes of them not turning their backs on me afterward. I make sure not to show too much by building thick walls; this also protects the peace and self-love I have left for myself. Not even my family or long-term friends can even penetrate through it. Because the constant betrayal and abandonment I've endured in the past have messed upon how I see people's intentions may have for me. It would be foolish to even think of bringing them inside my world without any proof of commitment. It only gives them the power to damage me further.

How did meeting people become so terrifying? So difficult? So painful?

No amount of words can truly define the agony I've gone through and the damage it cost of losing someone so dear to me. Their voices were once the lullabies that bring me to sleep at night, reassuring me that I won't be alone when I wake up. The smell of their sweaters I absentmindedly borrowed gave me comfort and strength to go through my gloomy days. Now the only thing that puts me at ease is when the taste of sweet-sharp alcohol glides down my throat, temporarily giving me solace.

I desperately ask the stars if they could give me the strength to move on because I'm paralyzed. Stuck.

Or is that what I really want?

I still yearn for their warm touch. I desire to feel the love they gave me once more. The love I thought was genuine and would never falter but only grows stronger whenever we discover something new with each other. May it be flaws and imperfections or blissful qualities and beautiful features.

It doesn't make sense. I am not supposed to miss someone who didn't have any second thoughts of deserting me—wanting a person who whispered nothing but sweet lies in my ears to come back into my arms. But the urge is there, and it is powerful. Powerful enough for me to break every single protection I worked hard on building and let them break me all over again.

Sometimes I wonder if we were in a parallel universe, would things happen differently? Will they remain in my life, or will how they leave the one be altered?

I won’t ever have the answers to these questions until I die. But one thing I know, as long as I live, I can only love them from a distance.

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Let Your Voice Be Heard

"It is easy to believe in freedom of speech for those with whom we agree." - Leo McKern

In today's society, especially now, we are unable to go outside as much as we want to; social media is one of the effective platforms for staying informed and involved. It is an excellent platform for sharing our political views. We also utilize this to educate ourselves. News stations and journalists also use social media to inform people and give them credible sources to help them shape their political stands. And it's pretty easy for us to catch up because we can access it everywhere at any time.

With this innovative way to inform, connect, and learn, people thought it would enable more users to participate in meaningful political debates and encourage them to educate themselves on the issues being addressed or discussed online that we see on a daily basis. New media has given us an easy way to reach out to our administration, who are accountable for everything that's been happening in our country. Moreover, it has affected our political views. Social media exposed them to people with different backgrounds and perspectives. They helped them show support for important matters and concerns.

New and social media are recognized as means for rendering a voice to the voiceless. Since the majority are aware, we use social media to raise issues for the people that are affected, and this has proven to help society over the years. According to (Tapnio & Rood, 2011), beginning with the administration of Fidel Ramos (1992-1998) and followed by President Estrada (1998-2001), the telecoms industry was liberalized, and phone ownership skyrocketed. While there were more landlines available, much of the growth was in mobile phones. Soon, the Philippines was the texting (SMS) capital of the world – to the point where the practice played a part in President Estrada's ouster early in 2001. When the Senate impeachment trial was suddenly adjourned without a verdict, the text message went around "meet at EDSA." Crowds gathered in the middle of the night. They refused to leave the main Manila thoroughfare until he left the presidential palace. In September 2011, they further discussed that the Philippine Trust Index, commissioned by EON The Stakeholder Firm, was released. The study revealed that 68 percent of the respondents view online news sites as the most trusted sources of news and information, while 49 percent trust social networking sites. These impressive metrics are telling about usage, but more needs to be done to understand the impact that social media has.

A good example was the exciting initiative by ABS-CBN, "Boto Mo Ipatrol Mo," that was part of the general "Introduction of New Technology in Election Coverage." The network aggressively reached out through advertisements and roadshows to get people to sign up for the system and post their observations and comments. The effort received per day 500 reports by email, 103 calls, and 3,058 texts during the electoral campaign. BMPM peaked with 87,419 "Boto Patrollers" in its database, 125,487 fans on Facebook, 23,111 supporters on Twitter, 6,960 members on its microsite, and 3,701 members on Multiply.

However, there is also a downside. With more and more people getting the majority of their information through social media platforms, blogs, and YouTube, it might be worth asking whether this is actually a good idea. As this has become accessible, easily comprehended to many, this gives people to create propaganda. Social media are also increasingly being used to empower disruptive voices, messages, or ideologies. What we see on our news feed is based on our interests and what posts we engage in. Hence, the ability of a person or group to overstate an agenda and dominate the conversation is easily accomplished on social media. One famous social media platform that is evident to this claim is Twitter. This is because social media do not subscribe to the same established journalistic rules of vetting and reporting news. On social media, the audience is invisible unless they react by commenting, liking, or sharing. This kind of act is democratic. The liberty that social media provides gives a vocal opposition a platform to begin or contribute to existing debates. This is a positive thing within a democracy. However, the expression of views can equally have a negative impact on others. (Church, 2016)

Further, we may encourage the public to express their political beliefs. Still, if their views are not inlined to the majority, they would not be heard or be deemed valid. They also have been cautious about stating their political judgments because they are scared of being humiliated publicly. So even if you are interested in politics, the chances are that if you are sensitive to being socially rejected, you will stay away from posting, sharing, or commenting on political issues unless you are sure that they are uncontroversial in your social network (Ketchell, 2018). Also, we must be aware of the "trolls." Our post could allow them to use our words against us but in a different context.

Politics.

A complex and intimidating topic to be talked about amongst our peers, even online. Many of us avoid this conversation because, most of the time, after discussing such a subject, it doesn't end well. This topic can potentially end relationships or, on rare occasions, start a connection. Our political belief is a reflection of our values in life; therefore, politics will always be a divisive issue due to the sensitive nature of the subject. Within a small group of close friends, there is the possibility of having debates about political topics. However, on social media, where the interactions between people are less personal and often have a wider reach, there is more chance of offending someone.

To be honest, I was once intimidated by politics. But then I reached college, and I realized that I was just with the wrong crowd. I kept my opinions to myself back then. I never dwelled on such conversations because I was scared that people would attack me.

As a person born in the Technology era, I learned that being open-minded and seeing the context of others' views can save you from having a one-sided opinion. It can actually help you build your own opinion about it. You are entitled to your opinion but never have a political statement that is solely based on emotion. Support your claims with credible and relevant sources, and if you have been proven wrong, do not be ashamed. That is part of the learning process. We don't always have to be correct.

And if you're the correct one, don't make the other party feel as if they are inferior to you. Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt and teach them the proper way to verify their information. Through this practice, we can have a healthier discussion with such matters, and people will be more encouraged to join. In line with this, having healthy, productive discussions elevate our deeper understandings and allow us to grow emotionally and intellectually. Before creating a political post, consider your goals and audience and carefully weigh the potential risks and benefits (Perina, 2020).

Discussing politics doesn't need to be intimidating. Let your voice be heard. As Brubaker said, "To stay politically informed, it's important to expand our sources. We should rely on more than the news that's pushed to us. We should also actively seek to be informed."

References:

Church, F. (2016, July 4). Is it ever a good idea to post political statements on social media? | The Gentleman's Journal | The latest in style and grooming, food and drink, business, lifestyle, culture, sports, restaurants, nightlife, travel and power. The Gentleman’s Journal. https://www.thegentlemansjournal.com/ever-good-idea-post-political-statements-social-media/

Farber, N. (2020, May 28). Cyber-Politics on Social Media To post or not to post? That is the question. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-blame-game/202005/cyber-politics-social-media

Gustafsson, N., Fredén, A., Renström, E. A., & Bäck, H. (2018, September 7). Why do people talk politics online? Because they don’t care what you think. The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/why-do-people-talk-politics-online-because-they-dont-care-what-you-think-101700

Merkley, L. (2020, August 11). How social media impacts political views. The Daily Universe. https://universe.byu.edu/2020/08/06/social-media-use-impacts-political-views/

Social media influences our political behaviour and puts pressure on our democracies, new report finds. (2020, October 27). EU Science Hub - European Commission. https://ec.europa.eu/jrc/en/news/social-media-influences-our-political-behaviour-and-puts-pressure-our-democracies-new-report-finds

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New Media, New Beauty Standards

"Beauty is an enhancement and not a replacement for who they really are on the inside. The key is being comfortable with YOU." - Ayesha Pough

As a child, I had never associated myself with any Disney princess. Instead, I would just wonder what it is like to be them. Upon growing up, I was judged on my capabilities solely based on my weight. I was convinced that I would never be called beautiful, because according to TV commercials and billboard ads, body hair, discoloration, and acne are unattractive. In generations, beauty is a slender build with a proportional amount of chest and a tight waist. Its skin tone is as bright and flawless as a white pearl. It also has a well-defined jawline, sharp and high cheekbones, a pointed nose, and a sensual full set of lips. Its eyes are large and bright like sparkling diamonds, and hair is as soft and shiny as newly woven silk. It has a greek god's face, symmetrical, and blemishes are nowhere to be found—indeed a magnificent work of art.

That's why seeing diversity nowadays in campaign ads and people advocating for body positivity—calling out whoever dares to label a fat person ugly or a skinny person anorexic, had given me so much joy and hope that society might be starting to change for the better. But until now, I still don't see something or someone I could relate to.

I understand that advertisements are made to attract the audience they are trying to reach. Though, as an aspiring media practitioner, I firmly believe that you can get through your target viewers without pinpointing people's insecurities or giving them an unattainable glamorized version of who they are or who they want to be. The impacts of how media portray a particular look can potentially affect so many people's way of seeing themselves whenever they look in the mirror. I also stand entirely behind the concept of improving yourself and aiming to be the person you want to be. However, you shouldn't lose yourself in the process by doing such. Your mental and physical well-being should never be jeopardized.

The rise of new media has enhanced communication among people through the utilization of technology. It is now integrated into our daily life because society depends so much on it for communication, such as contacting friends and family, staying up to date on the latest news and trends, and sharing memories, especially since the pandemic deprived us of meeting people in the flesh. Yet, while it advances, media has given us also the power to distort and reshape perspectives and realities—the complete opposite of its purpose. One of these is setting and presenting more beauty standards, impacting one's self-esteem, developing depression and anxiety due to body image dissatisfaction.

But now, as new media continuously develop, it includes individuals of different races, genders, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. Thereby focusing more on breaking stereotypes, also causing beauty to emerge and give us variation, making room for people of color, plus size, hairless, and people with gray hair and wrinkles. Gone are the days where we lack diversity. We are shifting towards a culture of being open and not only giving one representation of beauty.

Everyone is welcome. Every single one is beautiful.

But do we really believe that?

Everyone's concept and version of beauty can now be seen serving looks in New York Fashion Week, TV commercials, online posts, or on runways. Although, we cannot deny that media still gives us unrealistic beauty standards. In today's day and age, there is now an "appropriate-looking" plus-size body. Stretchmarks are now being glorified and considered attractive, but only when it's not dark and you have it on your thighs or butt and not on your stomach. All skin tones are now being recognized and appreciated, as long as they are glowy and flawless. Yes, we have evolved. However, our unattainable standards have, as well.

There are many outlets for beauty and fashion tips, yet these are not a guide to beauty. Instead, they are just another way to make many women and men feel as though they are worthless (Skolnick, 2020). The constant pressure to look sharp and perfect is still there, regardless of our body type and skin color. Social media often portrays augmented images and distorted truths, such that social platforms have become flooded with "ideal" qualities. No matter the platform, whether a social networking site like Instagram or a micro-blogging site like Twitter, people yearn to present their best self to the public (Washburn, 2018). With technology advancing by the minute and newer apps surfacing online, social media has an immediate effect on beauty. Due to the ever-changing body images depicted online, individuals are turning to social media handles for acceptance and support. (Henriques & Debasis, 2020)

That's why the evolution of beauty standards will never stop. If we keep on seeking validation and affirmation on social media, then solving this constant ongoing problem will never be achieved. Emphasizing that beauty is supposed to be subjective will never be firmly embedded into our hearts and minds.

Don't get me wrong, I, too, have allowed myself to be intoxicated by the poisonous notion that my beauty is based on the number of likes. I know getting compliments on your latest post can be so gratifying. Because all my life, I've always felt so out of place. Then whenever I get a notification that someone reacted to my photo, the sense of belongingness instantly sinks into my veins—I finally feel as though I am genuinely accepted by the world. But little did I know this was the one that would ruin me even more.

Beauty is subjective. As Margaret Wolfe Hungerford once said, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," meaning we all have our own definition, concept, and image of what it is to be beautiful. No one can ever dictate who you want to be and how you want to present yourself. We have to stop expecting everyone to understand it; what matters is that you appreciate your beauty, truly embracing every inch of it.

Let us learn to grasp that no amount of likes or comments people leave on our social media accounts will ever be enough to define your worth as a person.

Beauty is like a self-portrait. It is personal—yours to create.

Let us make that the beauty standard.

References:

Gee, R. A. (2018, July 25). Beauty By Soul Definition. . .. Thrive Global. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/beauty-by-definition/

Givhan, R., & Morales, H. R. (2020, January 7). The idea of beauty is always shifting. Today, it’s more inclusive than ever. Magazine. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/article/beauty-today-celebrates-all-social-media-plays-a-role-feature

Henriques, M. (2020, September 21). Social Media and Its Effects on Beauty. IntechOpen. https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/73271

Mbabazi, B. D. (2019, October 31). Society and unrealistic beauty standards. The New Times | Rwanda. https://www.newtimes.co.rw/lifestyle/society-and-unrealistic-beauty-standards

Skolnick, S. (2021, June 12). Modern beauty standards and their effects on society. The Inkblot. https://theinkblotnews.com/10701/opinion/modern-beauty-standards-and-their-effects-on-society/

Washburn, A. (2018). Beauty Imbalance: Social Media's Dictation of Worth. Brigham Young University