Thinking about a Durge who has rejected Bhaal, and whatever person they used to be, but still secretly longs for their lost memories. A Durge that, despite the answers the man could give them, would never re-ignite that strange passion they were shown they once had for Gortash. A Durge that has, for all purposes to the others in their party, moved on. A Durge that, six months after that day atop the Netherbrain, at a party celebrating their new life, receives a strange letter with an even stranger gadget hidden inside.
The meeting at the inauguration was a strange one. Despite Gortash's very obvious elation at seeing what he'd called his 'dearest friend', the man had no hesitation very proudly detailing the Dark Urge's grand scheme; their grand design for the world to be.
In front of all their friends and 'new' lover, of course.
They were furious, and rightly so. Gortash must have known what he was doing. To isolate them, to bring them back to him. The person who accepted them for all they were, all they are, and all they could be - together.
It wasn't enough to win the Dark Urge back to him, and although they'd tentatively teamed up in the end - he had died. Not by the Urge's hand, but in some ways, his own. The group had left Gortash's body within the Prism, and simply moved on. There were bigger problems, and no one really was sad to see him go. Right?
The Urge remembers a letter found in Moonrise Towers. Gortash liked gadgets, according to Ketheric. Evidence was abundant enough with the Steel Watchers, among other things. The item is strangely shaped, entirely too small, and with a simple touch, comes to life.
It reminds them of the strange picture they had seen at the Iron Throne. Gortash's visage shone through a glass, moving, talking - warning them to leave. Answering them, praising them for listening.
What a strange contraption, they'd thought all those months ago.
And then, now, there he was again. A picture, in their hand. A moving picture. Speaking with his voice, wearing his weary face - so, so weary - but not the same as before.
This had passed already. The voice did not answer them this time. It was simply impossible - the man was dead, but not quite gone in this moment.
He speaks of the inauguration like it had just happened. His joy at seeing his favourite 'assassin' again, which he says with a sad smile and a moment of silence. A heavy sigh follows, rubbing at his eyes - which they can see are so much darker than they last remember.
He is tired.
Gortash speaks of their time together, before Orin - and how Orin torments him day and night now that they had both confirmed the Urge's return. She appears with their face, taunting him some days. Other days she sends assassins that wear the same, and he simply cannot let his guard down anymore. But he knew it was them that day.
They can see the exhaustion that pulls down his features, makes his words heavier. This is not the Archduke speaking to him in this moment - it is a tired, broken down man that has just seen a ghost.
Yet they cling to every word anyway, because even though this is a broken down man who is terrified of the ghost - the man still hopes the ghost will remember him, too.
They don't. But he doesn't know that, not this little picture of him, anyway.
The picture says that if they are seeing this recording, it means he is already dead - and although he had planned to sway them back to his side, he may not have been given the chance, and refuses to allow the opportunity to share what the two of them once had slip away.
He would gift unto them the memories that he could, even beyond death. The bloody ones, the happy ones, the painful ones.
And he talks, he smiles, he even cries.
And so do they.
74 notes
·
View notes
reminder that my totk rants are me just rambling about my thoughts, ideas and complaints, im not trying to analyze anything, be smart, be right, debate or convince anyone who likes it that its bad just bc i think its bad or simply dont like the choices made, im literally just spilling out my brain so it doesnt keep haunting me
if you think something makes sense that i think doesnt i, and forgive me for being so blunt about it, do not care why you think it works, my opinion of this game will not change and i am okay with that
you are free to disagree with anything i say of course but i really dont care why, sorry
(sth i said only in the tags before but added now in this edit bc i think its important: its not bc i dont want to hear other peoples opinions and live in ignorance or something, but bc im tired and i PROMISE you i have seen 99.9% of those arguments already)
im not trying to be mean, aggressive or dismissive, but again, these rants are just me rambling with no intention of arguing with anyone, the only reason im still posting whenever i think of something thats bothering me (even if it might be dumb or be disproven in game bc i am not all-knowing and might be possibly misremembering something), and letting those posts be rebloggable/interactable is bc i have been told by quite a few people that they like reading them or that they feel validated in their own disappointment
thats it.
114 notes
·
View notes
Okay, I think I understand the interpretation of the last section of Fred's last letter a lot better now (ty twt user who pointed it out)
How it is written: "For now, I don't think the..you know...mmm the letter exchange will be paused."
How I think me and a lot of other people...and tubbo probs saw it: "For now, I don't think the...you know. Mmm the letter exchange will be paused.
To simplify it more I think it boiled down to: "For now, I don't think the... (Changes mind). The letter exchange will be paused.
How I think it's meant to be read/interpreted (again a guess but it makes sense): "For now, I don't think the [...you know...] letter exchange will be paused."
The whole interpreted thing would be: "For now, I don't think the letter exchange will be paused."
I think that the "...you know...mmm" serves as an interrupter which made the sentence's actually meaning very blurred.
I think that interrupter messed a lot of us up in actually digesting what was said (which is no fault to the actual admin ik language, especially English, is a bitch when it comes to that)
So no, i don't think the whole thing misinterpretation is because tubbo is dyslexic because he read it exactly how it is written.
It's the tones and certain pauses that made it harder to understand. Because, as you can tell, you can interpret what was said in 2 ways. It's now obvious after what was said by tallulah, the 2nd interpretation seems to be the actual interpretation.
29 notes
·
View notes
Hira's year in medical review:
Me, August 2023: *experiencing extreme fatigue, fainting spells, mood swings, sudden and drastic increase of suicidal thoughts, and intense hair loss*
P.A: let's do blood work
Me: ok!
Bloodwork: *normal except for prolactin*
Doctor: sometimes that's a fluke so let's retest
Me: ok
Bloodwork: *exactly the same*
Doctor: your values are higher than normal range, but not high enough to be in range for a pituitary gland tumor.
(P.A: go see an endocrinologist and get an MRI, that might be indicative of a pituitary gland tumor.) <- bless this person and only this person in particular
Endocrinologist, seen earliest available which was January 2024: *wants to retest blood work instead of ordering an MRI*
Me: ... ok
Bloodwork: *the same*
Me: can we please do an MRI now?
Endocrinologist: Well. Your values are above the normal limit, but it's highly unlikely that's it's a pituitary gland tumor because they are not high enough for that. Let's retest blood work in four months.
Me: ...................... ok
Bloodwork, May 2024: *THE SAME*
Endocrinologist: hmm, I recommend an MRI
Me: *gesturing angrily*
MRI, June 2024: 🎉 pituitary gland tumor 🎉
Doctor, when I went in for something else: I doubt your endocrinologist will want to treat that, we typically don't treat adenomas that small
Endocrinologist, who took 3 weeks to review my results: I recommend just monitoring. It's highly unlikely that this is causing your symptoms, it's too small for that.
Me, July 2024:
7 notes
·
View notes