#i dont mean to sound like its easy i know its not
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it doesnt necessarily ruin anything for me but sometimes when a writer is making a character that does objectively bad things but like finds away to justify it and make it "cool" or otherwise okay is just kind of annoying to me
i mean stuff like
these guys are extragovernmental political assassins but they only kill evil people
these guys are serial killers but they only kill OTHER serial killers who are way worse
why dont u just make characters that are bad people doing bad things and deal with the moral implications it would be much more interesting
#i dont mean to sound like its easy i know its not#but im not a professional writer yknow#i often struggle with rico cuz i want him to be an asshole but i also dont want him to be an asshole in particular ways#mine#the first example is from a book i read that i thoroughly enjoyed and it did like#TOUCH on the idea of the extragovernmental organization being biased but i think it could have gone more into it#the organization was founded on noble moral principles that BECAME corrupt over time. when like. it definitely would have been corrupt from#the beginning DESPITE its foundational principles seeming noble
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My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)
(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)
"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed
And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you
Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay
It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.
All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)
If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist
And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you
(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)
The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.
Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret
Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song
Lost my memory
I'm double, it was unavoidable
Living painfully
I'm trying, as hard as possible
Tell me, tell me.
If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --
Tell me, tell me.
It's all my fault
#milgram#mikoto kayano#lyrics#i feel bad it cut in front of the other milgram songs but it was a lot easier than the others#(not that it was easy by any means but the other ones are giving me even more trouble asdfsdf)#but yeah!!! im so happy with these!!!#i will forever be jealous of the rhyming in the original refrain --#nante itte/natte nande/datte sugatte/utatte tatte IS SO WONDERFULLY SATISFYING#it makes me crazyyyyyy#i know i dont get half that fun in mine but im still really satisfying with the rhymes/phrasing#wtf is going on in the rest of the song 😭 i came for the incredible refrain and had to deal with all That......#the 'dont need a break' and 'if you persist' lines gave me so much trouble 😭 he just keeps on going.....#i took a bit of a liberty with the 'sing to me' line because every version of 'thatd be good' sounded so lame 😅#trying to do some kind of play on sing your sins while its john really wanting to communicate but idk if that worked#an unintended but exciting detail is 'you say' sounding like 'you say wake up' rather than 'you say dont need a break'#since thats right when he wakes john up so to speak#any milgram pals who want to sing -- these are always open to use >:3
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me praying to get any kind of IT job and now just being so embarrassed that it happened because I DONT FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING? like you'd seriously think i would but i dont know a goddamn thing. a coworker watched me struggle to turn back on a monitor that went into sleep mode today. i couldnt find the fucking button on it. like i want to kill myself over that and i wish i was being funny but im being hilarious. they watch me fumble putting in my password on these 2000 goddamn websites i have to have accounts for for some reason AND they put me on the phone to squeak mousily at angry people who are calling for higher stakes problems than the library (but that part wasnt that bad bc most of them i got to just transfer the call)....i just want to SCREAM. i just want to scream because of the enormity of my incompetence. but its not even that serious. but it is. it is
#im making it sound hard but thats whats funny is it totally isnt. its so easy. its so easy im almost mad. its boring. ITS BORING!#and old guys keep telling me cutting my hair is 'part of growing up' i wanna gag.#and my coworker talks to me about 'guy stuff' that i wish i could have it in me to fucking care about. I HATE CARS!#i mean i do care about custom pcs. but IM STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! SO I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT DESPITE WANTING TO BUILD ONE.#im making it also sound like im having a miserable time but its complicated#and its giving me like a gender crisis but not like im not trans just like i cant stop feeling like a failure at all things gender#FTM as in failgirl to man this guy sucks#if i was more secure in myself at all i wouldnt let shit like that even bother me. but it dooooooooeeeeeeees#i attained no confidence and im starting to think thats impossible at my ripe young old age#is it ok if i have a crisis and blog it. do we still do that here
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apparently people are already starting to babify Simon P again,,
that is an almost 60 year old man who lived through an apocalypse and the trauma of being suppressed in his own mind for almost a thousand years, who then had to be thrown into the future where he lost his lover and was left to struggle in an unfamiliar environment while he grappled with whether or not being present in time and sane was even worth it
what do you mEAN
#simon petrikov#oh he's so innocent hes so sweet hes so ehehe >w<!!!!!#SHUT THE FUCK UP???#kills you /nsrs#someone said he'd probably think sex was just kissing... EXCUSE ME#he is. a grown ass man. with a fiane and a vampire daughter and a phd and a good understanding of wilderness survival#you think he wouldnt know what SEX IS!?!??!?!#dies and perishes but in a BAD WAY#stop treating men and especially traumatized and likely neurodivergent men like CHILDREN challenge go#level easy but you fucked it up anyway huh#btw this doesnt apply to very specific memes#memes and stuff are cool and if you dumb him down for those thats.. i mean a little weird but its alright#i mean ppl who so very genuinely view him as some some soft helpless innocent man#is he pathetic and helpless? a little. especially in the present of Ooo. but also and not to sound repetitive but also that an adult#and one who is very much on the older side#dont?? baby him???#why do we need to have this conversation like every other year#probably more than that honestly
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🏥🦷
#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt#last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep#i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit#so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first#but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts ://#idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly#nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol#but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account#anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain#idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may#or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt..#i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not#if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw....#nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's#dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭#idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit#i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol#ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor#my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont#nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know.....#oh if only things were easy
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again
#i mean ok i had them before but different ones & they didnt work. but i think what im on now is what i was on in hs & those Did work#(& then i stopped bc i was like well i am not in school anymore i dont need these. & then. i moved out. and oops i do need them actually)#(unfortunately due to the adhd & also my medical records having gone fucking missing somehow(???) it um. took a while)#but ough i must learn words......... i just need to Actually set aside time for it . and like keep a fucking notebook im not making the#mistake i made with french where i start out like oh this is easy :) & then it gets harder but i havent been taking any notes & now idk How#& so i just give up. we are not doing that this time we are taking notes From The Start and figuring out what works .#but...... probably not this month. this month is Busy. maybe august..........#thats actually a little bit of a lie bc i Have already started theres a podcast w some basics that i have on my work mp3 player#buuuut its been a minute & also Because i only listen to it at work im not really able to pick up on everything. so im basically still#kind of starting from scratch lmao.#honestly my biggest complaint w the podcast is that like. while it does have a sheet w the translations it doesnt have Pronunciation & bc i#have auditory processing issues i cant actually figure out How they are saying certain words just by hearing them.... bc i dont know that i#actually hearing them Correctly. fucking cannot identify sounds disorder killing me over here#doesnt help that its a language where pronunciation is Quite Different than english lmao......#i did find a pronunciation cheat sheet online somewhere & i . bookmarked it? downloaded it? sent myself a link on discord? fuck idr#but i also dont know if theres significant differences in dialect between the two. idk what dialect the cheat sheet was even made.. for? in#whatever ykwim its 6:30am i need to sleep
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my new favourite youtube channel is the world's most average american man just reacting to canadian things.
#his videos are so relaxing to me. hes just a regular guy who likes to learn about canada for some reason#he's very talkative and his content is so easy to digest. its nice after a long day to open my youtube app and watch this silly man#eat ketchup chips for the first time or discover how funny rick mercer is#some might say this sounds incredibly boring but this is my roman empire#maybe i dont know what that means by the way#my text
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I LOVE SUIKODEN SOOOO FUCKING MUCH
#im in gregminster at the end of the game rn and i love love loooovee being able to hear the upbeat town music just barely#beneath the melancholic wind sounds#suikoden ost you are everything to me no ost will ever top you#also i got all 108 stars babey B)#unfortunately got leon after doing the final army battle so i didnt get gremio revived which is APPARENTLY A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN???????#but i mean pahn died when he dueled my dad or whatever anyways so idk if id have been able to have gremio revived even if i had gotten leon#also the idea of him being revived kind of undersells the story tbh#maybe it works with how its executed idk i didnt get to see it happen lmao#also. i know i am RIGHTTT on top of the finale like i am so close to beating this game again but#i had to stop because of all the freaking guards jumping me every 2 seconds good lord#fight four guards take a step fight four more guards take another step fight five guards etcetc#ALSO#I ENDED UP GOING THRU THE NECLORD CASTLE LIKE. FOUR OR FIVE TIMES FOR REASONS#AND WHYYYYY COULDNT I USE AN ESCAPE TALISMAN THERE????#i beat the neclord months ago t-t#i dont mind the random encounters and stuff as a concept but when ur at the end game just tryna finish up some odds and ends.#they are so. frustrating#i think the frequency of them is the problem#esp since suikoden isnt a grindy game like it is so easy to level up characters super fast#which i love love loveeeee i love that ur actaully kind of able to play around with using a variety of ur. 100+ characters#but then its like. why so many random fights theyre just wasting my time#hoping suikoden 2 is a lil better in that regard but we shall see#reeeaally really hyped for suikoden 2!!#spoilers for a 30 yo old game lmao
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I hate that I'm literally chronically online but I don't really have a choice. I'm chronically ill, disabled, have very severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I can't just go touch grass and fix everything. I'm just trying my best to stay sane because that's really all I can do
#ngl ive only gotten this an insult like once or twice but i still think about it#like i think its important to note how my constant time spent online is affecting me even if i cant change it#but i wish there was more awareness (? idk if thats the right word) about people who really only have the internet#people who dont have anything else#and also just more healthy spaces honestly#the more time i spend on here (not tumblr specifically but like youtube and other socials... and also here)#the more i run into things that just greatly upset me#it used to be really easy to avoid stuff i didnt like idk why its becoming a problem now#by stuff i dont like btw i dont mean like content im not interested in#i mean like people arguing and even harassing each other#and just being dick heads for no apparent reason#sometimes its arguments or insults over things i relate to and its just shocking because im reminded#that im actually quite sheltered from people like that#sometimes its not even about me#sometimes its just very discouraging to see people being mean simply for the hell of it#i dont have very much hope for human kind as it is#but it just makes me sad when i KNOW how fun and how encouraging and supportive online places can be#from my time here#and then i see people choosing to ruin that#idk i probably sound like a stupid sheltered toddler#i just simply wish people were good#thats really all
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sorry just the concept of knives naming legato slays me but like. the fact that he didnt even name him a bad thing. like the way knives absolutely hates humans and literally wants to commit genocide to kill them all and. and he names one?? and its not even a name with a bad connotation. like he couldve pulled a lucilus and named him something like belial that means worthless and he doesnt???? that in itself just absolutely slays me. but the way knives names him legato. and the way you could kind of theorise that knives plays the piano in 3max because of that one (1) panel of him in that ridiculous outfit in front of a piano and. legato is a music term. so already knives names this human not something bad, but rather something associated with something that he does??? maybe likes???? enjoys???? and legato has many meanings but yknow its like smooth. and. and connection. connection. you connect two notes together smoothly and thats a legato. the chapter of legatos backstory is two people against the world. haha you could say thats where knives and legato gain a connection- i cant take it here bro
#i feel like there can be something said abt how legato is played on piano too#cos it differs for instruments? like its really easy to slur on a trumpet#but also im a band kid for five years and i dont know whats the difference between slurring and legato and at this point im tkk afraid to a#sk#also ofhejdjwjsn the way legato sounds really fucking nice#its smoorh theres no adrupt stopping its like woooo smooth fine notes!!#connecting!!#uowhfjjj the way legato can also mean bound together#the way im googling legato on a piano#and its like a piano cannot play a true legato and you can only make an illusion of it#and there is something to be said im just not big brained enough for it#this might mean things or i might be going insane i do not know ignore this#REREAD LEGATOS BACKSTORY AND THE WAY KNIVES SMILES WHEN ASKING FOR HIS NAME#i cant take it here can you hear me crying#i dont know why but i think u can say something abt the way#legato smiles at knives and he way u can see knives eyes widen v the way#legatos eyes widen when knives asks for his name and smiles#like theres smth about it#and i want to eat a pillow
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ok controversial opinion i actually dont mind kiryu and majima’s english voices
#snap chats#this is the only time im gonna talk about kiryu and majima in one post thats insane#BUT YEAH NO as we all know i was replaying y7 last night#and maybe it is just because ive replayed it so much and im accustomed to their english voices#but they really arent as bad as people say they are ?#majima esp honestly im actually glad they went with mercer#i mean ill ALWAYS be happy if mercer's involved in something but now i just feel like the voice fits#this post was made mostly with majima in mind ngl but yeah i dont mind kiryu either#i know yesterday i was talking about how english voices being deeper makes sense#but i actually like how kiryu's voice is slightly higher pitched. Keyword Slightly its very small#im still not super happy about daigos voice tho. i dont think thats changing anytime soon#again no hate to RCS im just mentally ill about daigo </3#ehh. maybe it could grow on me.#its not TERRIBLE im like thinking about it and its not TERRIBLE#trying to find beat-for-beat VAs is never going to be easy or perfect#i always try to keep that in mind and like. i think RCS could have worked??#he just sounds too firm/stern sometimes and daigo speaks very hushed#but im getting off topic this post was supposed to be bout kiryu and majima goddamn 💀
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japanese is a very straightforward language in terms of pronunciation, which makes it both funny and annoying when people fail to pronounce words
#💖.txt#and i dont mean wrt to thick accents#i mean like. a youtuber i watch routinely fails to pronounce jpn words that are incredibly easy to pronounce#bc she always overestimates how hard the language is!#and i know shes not doing it for ~clicks~ shes rly not that kind of youtuber#i think she genuinely cant understand that sounds in japanese dont change. ever#its always the same sound regardless of whats around it
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oh noooo i guess i cant record this because idk when im gonna get to be home alone://// gee what a shame
#i was all too confident i wouldnt be able to finish.#usually something comes along that i cant figure out so i get an easy out but uh#that didnt#happen#this time#uhm#i mean i doubt its like good in any respect#but i did. write. the whole thing.#i even wrote a fUCKING CHORD PROGRESSION LITERALLY FUCKING HOW#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT???? I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING??????#BUT IT DOESNT SOUND TERRIBLE????????????????#i think i have played through it an embarrassing number of times#lyrics arent even creative man its just bullshit istg#did not manage half of what i wanted to say#and like it sounds dumb#god this is so fucking stupid#should not be allowed to do this to myself#haha im gonna regret this post so fast#if you saw this no you didnt#i have never once attempted any music related endeavors youre insane
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i know i dont get to complain bc i will have plenty of chances to rest later and i already have 2 trips planned but ive been in a state of constant stress since january and i reaally hoped that i would get a chance to finally relax and enjoy some me time.
#nothing terrible happened its just that today’s my final exam and obviously i was super excited#and my father called me to ask me to go work at his place#and obviously i had to say yes#i mean if i wanted to work i could have found an internship that gives actual money and actual experience#and i know it sounds bad but lately ive been trying to avoid my parents#so having to work with my dad is so :I#i mean the job is easy and itll probably be part time#and of course my parents are wonderful beings and they have been offering me so much love and support#so i feel shitty for even complaining#like they also kinda pressured me into joining them on vacation#but. i really dont wanna go#so i guess i can work in order to repay the cost of my tickets etc?#but i also dont wanna tell them i dont wanna go#im so so so fucking annoyed rn i could eat my own foot#pugamemnon
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indie game releases may 9 2024
today is just an absolutely amazing day for indie game launches. like there is something here for just about everyone. i want to catalogue all the ones ive seen
animal well
described by some as a "metroidvania thats similar to outer wilds in that you want to go into it knowing as little as possible" . which i assume if youre like me is all you need to know to be sold on this, so thats all i have to say
steam | switch | ps5
little kitty big city
you play as a little kitty in a big city. incredibly cute. great for people who love cats and play games to just take it easy and have a nice time. you get to put the kitty in so many silly hats
steam | switch | xbox (also on gamepass)
rabbit & steel
"what if you could do mmo raid progression but without having to invest hours into an mmo" here you go this is the game for you. get together with friends and learn mechanics and fights and get 5 different debuffs and try to parse what they mean before they make you explode in 5 seconds. i hope this sounds fun to you because to me this is what i live for
steam
crow county
an incredibly stylish ps1-style survival horror game. solve mysteries!! shoot monsters!! pick up items!! you probably know if this is the game for you already!! from what ive seen its a great love letter to the genre
steam | ps5 | xbox
1000xresist
i have heard /immense/ praise over this game from a narrative angle. scifi thriller. also the trailer starts with someone getting stabbed. cool. if you play games for their stories and a hyper-cinematic scifi adventure is up your alley check this one out
steam
cryptmaster
a dungeon crawler where you do everything by typing words . i dont know how to properly describe this but it looks incredibly cool the trailer through the link does a much better job of showcasing it than i do. AND , if this game and 100xresist both look up your alley, you can actually get a bundle with both of them for 40% off
steam
anyways thanks for getting through my big wall of gifs i really wanted to showcase these games because like these are some Real amazing games all launching on the same day. and also the same week as hades2 . and im sure theres even more that i didnt even see!!! check the replies because im sure people are gonna add even more
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