#i dont know why i only just noticed this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
they sleep
#i dont know why i only just noticed this#hc that garm has his hands like lloyd does in that photo when hes sleeping#ninjago#lego ninjago#lord garmadon#lloyd garmadon#garmadon#ninjago lloyd#sensei garmadon#ninjago garmadon
114 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! Whose your fav in twisted wonderland? Or if you dont have any what characters to you use the most?
(Pssst by the way can you drop your friend code 🥺🥺🥺)
Most of the characters are likable assholes so I don't really have a fav lol If judging solely on design, Ortho's and Leona's outfits are usually great
Dorm Riddle was my first card and I have no regrets, he hits like a truck and is still my most used card
My Player Name is Quess!
#twst#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#despite drawing him a lot malleus is not my fav lol hes very funny and fun to draw tho#dorm riddle and rollo are the only cards i pulled for dupes#usually the units the game hands out at the beginning fall off quick in gachas but riddle is the queen#before leona i wouldve said halloween silver cause i got lucky and got 2 of him in the same pull plus double fire plus healing#but i just have more leona cards that are versatile and his dorm is also amazing#azul is such a guy i want to put him into situations bless the author for drawing him like that in the manga iykyk#but yeah he's 100% there for riddle#tbh i dont know why i rolled for rollo this hard but i did and he truly has the powers of god and anime on his side#im noticing i have way too many fire units lol#i just realized i placed leona in the number 2 spot lmao F#lil' doots
132 notes
·
View notes
Note
ty for contributing to the wasteland that is appreciating bruce as a parent and first child danny🙏🙏🙏
It’s a battle out here soldier but I am strong, like winter bear. Also I relate so hard to Bruce in a lot of ways and I think his initial concept is really neat. He tries his damn hardest, and he has so much hope for his city that it’s really admirable.
And as much fun as it is to poke fun at him for his questionable parenting and hypocrisy, there’s always the line of too much that the fandom tends to cross quite often, just as much as they do with the clone and ghost king stuff. Bruce is just as much of a good parent (or at least a trying one) as he is a bad one, and people tend to ignore his good qualities for the sake of a joke. His character is centered around the fact that he cares, he’s just truly shit at communicating it — which, cheers bro, I’ll drink to that.
And there’s already a ton of batfam prompts and aus out there where Danny shows up when the whole colony is already adopted, which means most of the attention goes to Danny bonding with the other siblings and having very little to do with Bruce. He’s kinda just. There. Whether that be as a prop or an antagonist or someone to point and laugh at. Which, I can’t blame people too much for — the cast is so big it’s hard to keep track of relationships and stuff.
However, I think it’s important for Danny to have some form of relationship with Bruce too and not them just be strangers, especially in a familial/platonic setting where Danny is joining the family.
They share a handful of qualities that I think would mesh well together — Danny’s canonically a pessimist while Bruce is a diehard optimist (you kinda have to be to be a hero in a place like Gotham, and he wouldn’t be Batman if he wasn’t) and they both believe in giving people second chances and have wells of compassion to tap into. Danny’s clever and resourceful, and one of his main character traits is that he’s got an iron will.
All in all, good dad bruce go brrrrr and oldest son danny is the perfect, underutilized concept to explore exactly that without distractions. I think they could get along like a house on fire, if given the opportunity.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#starry asks#blood blossom au#nightingale au#tales of the passerine#i didnt include Danny’s puns bc. well. duh that trait is obvious you dont need me to point it out lmao#blood blossom will ultimately focus on Danny and Bruce’s relationship and not the vigilantism#danny actually isnt planned to join the field for a while for non-health related reasons#but you can find me explaining why in one of my reblogs on the og post#this ask got away from me but when does it never do that#i am a certified yapper#anyways you’ll notice in my other aus too that i dont make a habit of bashing or making fun of bruce#most of the danny’s in my aus have a posi-neutral opinion of him inCLUDING cfau danny#clone danny and stillborn danyal are outliers but even then their negative opinions aren’t because of anything bruce has done and stillborn#is really the only one who could develop a bad opinion. clone danny is just scared of him finding out that he exists but otherwise holds#bruce in a posi-neutral light. he recognises the good he does for his city he’s just scared shitless of the dude finding out that he was#cloned. especially since danny was a victim of cloning himself and knows how violating it feels#stillborn danyal’s opinion weighs firmly on who finds out about who first. he only hates bruce if he finds out first bc his shit esteem#easily convinces him that bruce willingly gave him up and replaced him with Damian. he’ll eventually forgive and let go of that anger when#bruce tells him that he was told danny was stillborn and didn’t know he was alive.#everyone has a batfam member they latch onto and unfortunately for me mine is the og bitch himself Bruce Wayne
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired
god I can't wait to make this comic.
#not me making a prelaunch link so I can share it on art of them that I do and then immediately being like hm#feels kind of weird to link a comic that doesnt exist yet#HAHAHAHAH#theres just no pleasing me#oh well I'll stick to my guns. I thought about it a long time#and doing things that feel weird is kind of the name of the game when it comes to making art#we were legion#zagan#this is so funny to me#its like not even that funny but#I love him. idk I think because I know what the comic is gonna be like stuff like this is 1 million times funnier to me#he sucks so bad and it would suck to read if he were the only one in the comic but because luciel is also there#then its just funny. cause juxtaposition#I love luciel too but theyre less good for standalone drawings and memes without comic context#so my brains like erm... theres nothing there....#also my tags are bugging out when I type them on the ocmputer idk how to explain whats happening but its kind of annoying#jumping around all over the place. makes it hard to read while I'm typing them. its fine#if theres typos its cause somethings going weird with my computer#lately when I've opened firefox its just shaking all over the place#til I alt tab out of it and back to it. I have straight up no idea why#and my internet has been bugging out. the LAN connection keeps flickering and then going out...??#YES I switched the ethernet cable connecting the modem and the router NO I dont know whats going on#I dont wanna deaaaaaal wiiiithhh customer serviceeee its fine. I'll do it later if switching the coax cable doesnt help#uh. anyways none of that matters cause I can still make my fuckin comics babeyyy#as long as I've got my comics. I'm good. though it is annoying when I cant look up references or spelling of words cause I do that constant#but its fine!#love I can draw without internet I dont even notice when it goes out sometimes aughajkghagj#anyways I'm super excited about this comic and if you're intereted theres a presave link now so#yeay#I'll post places other than webtoon but I'm just doing webtoon early so TTA readers can switch over easier
52 notes
·
View notes
Note
i’m so used to how you draw zelda that whenever i see someone else draw her it’s literally like. skinny person jumpscare.
literally being a fat zelda truther is so hard bc why do people insist on drawing the girl like she's never had a meal in her life. put some meat on her bones please god she is starving
#yeah botw zelda fanart is always like. woe. skinny girl be upon ye#and people on instagram get SOOOO pissed about the way i draw her its so funny. the comments are always so formulaic#like its always 'uhmmm im skinny and ur taking away MY representation my body type is beautiful too!!'#or 'um i just dont think you should be promoting an unhealthy body type' SHUT THE FUCK UP. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#OR if its a man theyll be like 'um you made her look fat :/' like its an insult. like yeah babe that was on purpose. lmfao#and its not like i dont notice that people ONLY EVER get pissed about how i stylize ZELDA'S body. because i change link's body type too.#but i make HIM noticably SKINNIER. like gee i wonder why we have a problem with one of these but not the other one guys. lmao#anyway. im glad tumblr has so many fat zelda appreciators because things are fucking bleak on instagram lmao#and i do also occasionally get jumpscared by skinny zelda. like i KNOW she looks like that but also She Would Not Fucking Look Like That#asks
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good lord how does my nature au animatic art already look old
#Ive gotten more comfortble drawing the characters tho tbh I tihnk its only noticable to me really#before fop i never used to draw thick eyebrows and now im looking at dev in the animatic like.... who did this to you#what are these pathetic little eyebrows why was I so cowardly#gonna try to get this done in time for the netflix release I think#maybe Ill post it here early if I can clean up some of the rougher portions first#I am kinda glad i paused on it cause I have a much clearer idea of what I want for it now#unfortunately i still havent fully gotten to the plot points i wanted to#but I also dont have time to squeeze in another set of comics if I wanna get it done in time for premiere day#sighh guess the animatic will just be a little spoilery#not like I know what im doing with this au anyway#shh you didnt hear that I know what im doing at all times. shut up dont even worry about it.
33 notes
·
View notes
Photo
this is one of those things where it was funny in my head but now that i drew it i realize it was probably not worth the effort but no point in not posting it i guess i find watching the Mu saga unfold extreamilly funny for some reason i wish i had a quality pic of the % being even lower
#milgram#mikoto kayano#muu kusunoki#milgram project#meme art#i was one of the people who with the first trial video was like aww i fweel so bad for muu im glad shes voted innocent#then second trial vid drops and imediate NOPE NOPE NOPE#i think the only people voting muu innocent are just haruka fans and not people who actually forgive her lmao#tbh i thought haruka was also guilty from the start and the second trial reienforced that so#oh yeah also mikoto is here people who know me from discord or watched that one stream i did must find that funny#i have a long rant agaisnt why meme is overrated and how dumb i think mikoto looks but i think he looks less dumb when i drew him#also i just noticed the way i drew his hair literally almost looks like a recolor of one of my ocs.... oh god#i made that oc in like 2018 or 2019 tho so i dont have to worry about the implications of that because there are none#fr mikoto's hair looks like it has the texture of wet mud#oh god that was a lot of tags for a drawing i feel so incredibilly netruial about
557 notes
·
View notes
Text
Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do���#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
see my brain just doesn’t register the idea of anyone having a ‘one true love’ which is why the common fandom tropes of making canonical love interests terrible in order to justify why your ship is better always bugs the shit out of me. it feels like the only reason you would do that is if the idea of the characters in your ship having any other sort of romantic relationship that was important to them, even in the past, is a threat to their current one, therefore all their past relationships need to be demonized in order to make them ‘not real love’ so that they remain pure and chaste and ready for the True Love of the endgame ship.
#im not crazy right like other people notice that trope ajd get annoyed by it right#its a very weird trope to be so common from my perspective because like. why not just. break up the couple you dont want.#for reasons that arent ‘i made this person into a charicature of themselves to justify why my blorbo would have never actually loved them’#you know? its weird. its weird right?#and then of course there’s the offshoot of this that intersect with fandom misogyny where that demonized person is usually the female love#interest. or sometimes not even that. sometimes she was just standing there a little too close to one of the guys and that made people feel#insecure about their ship so they make her a bitch. gwen cooper. im. im talking about gwen cooper. people do this to gwen cooper and ill#never know peace about that.#anyway. is there a word for like. heteronormativity for monogomous people. because thats what i think this falls under.#because it is a very. like its a very conservatively monogomous idea. i feel like it is not unrelated to christian values of not having sex#before you’re married. that maybe someone in fandom might manage to ditch that particular ruleset to make their blorbos fuck nasty but NOT#the underlying idea of it that you can only ever have One Person you share that love and intimacy with. so you still end up perpetuating the#same toxic beliefs. you know? sorry im rambling it just annoys me
62 notes
·
View notes
Note
Kenny and Violet anon here YES.
Violet is upset because someone she defended against her found family of 8 years let her get taken by brainwashing adults for 2 seconds and everyone flips their lid.
But Kenny refuses to stop a train, and gets into a whole fight with Lee over it (AND REFUSES TO HELP YOU FIND A LOST LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU’RE FIGHTING OFF AN INFECTION, where as Violet always defends you in Episode 1 regardless of whether you ignored and/or antagonized her or not), and gets mad at an 11 year old for not being able to handle helping someone in labor by herself and everybody’s like “Nah it’s okay, his family died years ago so he gets to do whatever he wants.” as if Violet didn’t witness one of the only consistent family members in her life die in front of her 💀
There’s so many comparisons I could make and one day I’ll make a Venn Diagram about all of their similarities but for now I’m glad someone pointed this out.
there are some things kenny does that have No excuse (like refusing to help bitten lee look for missing clem all because hes mad you didnt side with him enough. leaving lee to singlehandedly save himself in the pharmacy because he got scared. threatening to slap clem for blaming herself for lees death. off the top of my head). but his behavior on the train is annoying yet understandable. he doesnt want to admit his son is dying and he feels like duck dying in the first place is his fault for not saving shawn. you can convince him to stop without things getting physical
the Problem comes in when people can understand and sympathize with kennys annoying/shitty actions, but when it comes to violet (who has the same "my family is dead and its made me bitter and closed off" backstory (and her whole arc is about learning to love and care again)), suddenly all understanding goes out the window. even tho shes not even a FRACTION as annoying and shitty as kenny can get 😭😭
violet is mean to clem for the One scene where youre introduced to her (ignoring your first moment with her in the courtyard where shes smiling at clem so you already know her shitty attitude later is a lie. louis even defends her. wingman lol. and depending on what you say in response to her you can Immediately see the regret on her face LOL). but before the scene even Ends shes complimenting clem and clem loves it. then youre forced to talk to her and tenn about the twins, you have a nice card game where you can joke around with her, then she shows up at the dorm and they have a nice heart to heart about how theyre BOTH struggling with the loss of people theyve loved, and they can sympathize about both being harsher than they intend (THEY GET EACH OTHER CANONICALLY)
and vi not being "a people person" is a huge part of her arc?? she doesnt like that shes like this 😭 but shes also better with people than she gives herself credit for and its why she makes a good leader. (and even if you pick the "came off strong" option clem is OBVIOUSLY teasing about it but vi cant tell and gets defensive ("its not like im trying to be bffs or whatever. sorry" is so "you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" of her)
and then after this shes never mean to clem again?? (unless you antagonize her but even then its mostly just about her standing her ground and not taking shit she doesnt deserve. which is fair). shes only mean to brody while fishing (and shes mean to brody because deep down she blames HERSELF) and the whole POINT of that scene is to try and mend their broken relationship which immediately makes vi a happier/nicer person if you do (also interesting how louis doesnt get any shit for His behavior while hunting 🤨 no hes just cool and fun). violet also apologizes for being "weird" in the dorms the previous night as well (bby girl why are you afraid that everything you do is weird 😭 she says that word a lot)
violet will Always have clems back (in EP1 and 2!!) No Matter What you do or say to her. i think people take her loyalty for granted. so if you dont save her in EP2 and expect to continue to have her unwavering loyalty in EP3? thats a You problem. she is Fucked Up mentally on that boat by lilly and her not-exactly-ex, and then gets caught in the explosion she didnt want anything to do with. AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES because she recognizes she was WRONG
(not her literally trying to make a joke about it to ease the tension 😭 people dont give her credit for also having a sense of humor. like louis is the only one who cracks jokes around here) but again when it comes to kenny his actions are understandable and defendable even without an apology 🙄 i literally side with kenny on Everything except the larry thing and if you dont make the right dialogue choice with him? he will not help you look for clem. because of larry 😐 i killed your son for you bro and then took care of his walker doppelganger so you didnt have to. and this isnt even touching his behavior in S2. and yet despite everything he does hes still one of the most beloved characters in the fandom 🤨
i just have to remind myself sometimes that all vi options were made 53-61% and the vi haters are a loud minority. her always being above 50% is so interesting to me because i love when choices are split perfectly 50/50. but the way the fandom talks about her (and the women in general) you wouldnt think shes technically the more popular option (and i Hate playing the popularity card its so annoying, but im only doing it bc people also say shit like "maybe if vi wasnt so mean more people would pick her" they DO pick her!!! you just got mad she was mean for 5 seconds, never payed attention to her again, and used her determinate reaction on the boat as justification for not liking her 😑) (also ignores how mean louis gets in EP2 regardless of choice?? but like kenny His actions are defendable and sympathetic and hers arent 🙄)
#again just in case people cant tell I LIKE ALL OF THEM they are all interesting characters!!! but some of you only give grace to the men#vi i will defend you until i die because Someone has to#why do people hate and even want to kill the women in this game so bad 😭 its so weird#im literally just asking yall to Not hate her so vehemently when you LOVE male characters who do the same or much worse#its just weird all the excuses that exist for the men but when its a woman? shes just a bitch. why do the men get to be bitches 😐#the game is Intentionally very even between vi and louis' reactions but for some reason hes defendable/sympathetic and shes not#someone pretty much ended up proving my point on my last ask about this without even realizing it 💀#but i didnt even know where to begin. so i was so glad to get this ask almost immediately after hdskfjkd#also the numbers im using are TFS numbers not DE numbers. ive noticed the DE numbers are fandom skewed idek what they are for S4#i dont think i have much more to say about this and im afraid the men only defenders are gonna start coming out of the walls#i love you fucked up women of twdg :)#if anyone tries to defend the male characters on this post im gonna lose it. they dont need your help!!!#replies with lexi#incognito#twdg
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
(read more for a short pseudo-fic?? that i wrote kinda by accident?? it's kinda shit and doesn't have anything about stanley and it's mostly just describing a half baked idea but have it if you want. also this has definitely been done before but whatever)
au where the narrator, unbeknownst to stanley, finds out that he can be physically affectionate in a form that stanley can't see or feel.
after countless careful testing of stanley's reactions to confirm this, he starts to casually sort of. walk side by side to him and brush their hands together.
after a few hundred resets, he's at a point where he constantly holds hands (phases them through each other) with stanley as he yammers on as usual. sometimes he floats around him in circles and studies the folds in his clothes and the way stanley moves, still blabbering about, until, carefully, he leans reeeal close to stanley's face. he takes in every wrinkle and dimple, every reflection across his eyes, and watches the way his character model's hair sways a little as he walks, still pretending to have some sort of strong opinion about whatever he's talking about. once again, he starts to do this regularly.
when stanley happens to look at something that lines up their eyes to seem like eye contact, the narrator gets all freaked out and goes strangely quiet. he makes up some excuse (let's see here.. the next door is .. hmm .. .. (the first time it happened he actually did get them both lost)), and the next few times it happens, he starts rambling faster, trips over his words, and flusters himself in his own monologue.
after another few hundred resets he calms down and gets used to the fake-outs and gradually forgets it was ever even a worry.
during one reset in this peaceful phase, the narrator hugs him from behind, wraps his arms over his shoulders and around his chest, and sighs somewhat like a dog as he rests the underside of his chin on stanley's shoulder.
of course, sighs of yearning and disappointment sound similar enough that this one fit nicely for his current monologue. in fact, he starts getting so caught up with sarcastically praising stanley for staying in the employee lounge for more than two whole minutes, that as he leans into his face, yawning mid-sentence from the pseudo-warmth of stanley's neck and left cheek, he doesn't even notice that stanley has not only stayed in the same room, but hasn't moved an inch for the past five minutes.
worse yet, the narrator only finally realized when he happened to look up admiringly again, and nearly flew across the room at the sheer intensity of stanley's eyes staring dead into his own. he paused his berating. he didn't even have an excuse prepared, and he wouldn't need one, considering how stanley's first movement after the narrator's nearly endless stream of complaining was to turn to look at him where he hovered slightly above the floor, somewhat disheveled and panicked.
that's all i got for now fhdwds
#sbdbdhs idk what to end or continue this with so anyone is free to continue this i guess. i kinda just got too into this#this was only meant to be three or four sentences long#if anyone wants to continue this though please do tag me or let me know or something fbshfjs i would totally wanna read it#i lowkey dont know how to write if im being real thats why this is on tumblr lol#also LMAO this whole time i was thinking about stanley's canon appearance aside from me writing with his fanon appearance#if the narrator were in love with that low poly ass guy he would be Such a loser.#he kind of is such a loser though. tbf.#tsp#tspud#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp narrator#tsp stanley#stannarrator#kind of#oh yeah and i was thinking about like . maybe when he spent so much time being so affectionate he didn't even notice when he stopped phasing#through stanley but . idk if i wanna write all that
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I. Hurt.
And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.
See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.
Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...
...no, it's not the conclusion.
It's CHRISTMAS.
In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.
Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.
I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.
I didn't even read them.
I'm honestly. So disappointed.
I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.
And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.
But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?
I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.
Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.
#unforth rambles#im not sure how to tag this#i dont want to tag fandom since its kinda anti#and i dont want to tag antisemitism cause its not really#and i dont want to tag microaggressions cause thatll just show my privilege that ive been lucky enough to not have this feeling more often#but seriously WHAT THE FUCK#im genuinely considering rereading just so i can see if it was always christian and i just missed it until then#because its so fucking ubiquitous that it slides right off#but i dont think it was!!!#WHYS IT GOTTA BE CHRISTIAN WHAT THE HELL#and why have i never heard this mentioned surely im not the only person to notice this#maybe it was less jarring for people who rwad along with the webcomic#since these were extras released along thw qay#not shoved in the back of the book like in the print edition#i dont fucking know#i just know i hate it#this special fun thing could have been anything#and instead it was for one specific segment of the audience#and thats honestly so unnecessary and kinda yicky#dont you guys every get tired of making everything about your fucking dumb holidays you stole from other cultures#give me back passover i demand you turn over easter as a reparation
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hate thissss I feel like I haven't been properly productive today (somehow posting two art things Doesn't register properly in my mind) so I wanna stay up to get as much as I can down, but I also need to go to sleep in case I'm called in tomorrow because fuuuuuck going to work on little sleep that shit sucks. But also, the possibility of being called in makes me wanna stay up even more, so I can finish art in case I don't have time tomorrow. So now I'm sat up at 12:30 tired as shit but unable to draw or go to bed. The never-ending cycle of hell.
#ramblings#i wish they had someone else to call in on short notice. i dont hate coming in extra but i hate getting a text at like 7:10 when kennel#hours in the morning start 7:30. i knowww i should probably set a boundary but like. fuck#and you know what i wish my parents bothered to fucking understand how frustrating it is being called in so frequently#my mom specifically. i bring stuff with work up and its like a broken record. `if you go in all the time youll be seen as reliable!`#when i was talking about getting a day off to see my brothers marching last weekend she was like#`see what did i tell you? you make yourself reliable and theyll let you take off what you need` talking like i just asked for it off#after it had already been scheduled. girl i had to ask people to cover me still. i just#i hate it. i havent told her i told them i didnt wanna work clinic hours because she'd drill me about why#its just frustrating !! and when i say my genuine feelings its like she needs to correct me. like im thinking wrong.#this is why i had to fucking snap before setting the boundary of not covering clinic hours. because its always#`do what they ask every time because youll seem reliable` from my mom no matter fucking what. and then i already have issues#setting boundaries in general because i dont want to upset others or make them mad at me#ok sorry this has turned into. a wholeass vent. im just. at my wits end can you tell?#at this rate im really just getting nothing done. im going to bed#dont worry about me ill be fine. i just need to let it out and this is kinda my only outlet rn
8 notes
·
View notes