#i dont know who colin would be with but I would like to imagine him as the brain cell

[alicedyerappreciator]

in my ideal world everyone in the OIAR is in one loving but messy polycule.

[joulex]

Predictions for bridgerton s3 part 2 from someone who hasnt read the books but vaguegly knows what happens

- im kind of conflicted on lady w, cause it would make a change in the show if penelope were to quit as she does in the books, but given that penelope wont be as prevalent in the show moving foward, it leads me to believe that they would stick to it? Idk if thet would revele it, maybe they come to some agrement with the queen so that in order for her to not be like shamed in society, she will not tell everyone that penelope is lady w if she quits and they can move foward from there

-prudence (i think thats her name) will be revealed to be a lesbian or some kind of gay. she looks so sad whenever shes kissing her husband and shonda has talked about exploring queer stories and as much i would like it to be cressida and eloise i asume they would go that route

-i kind of want to see colin find out about lady w once hes already married to penelope maybe, i think it would be boring if they were to interrupt ANOTHER WEDDING

-cressida blackmailing penelope somehow with lady w as a revenge for lord debling maybe. And the stress of that, eloise, colin, etc, is what will make her pass out at the engament party (if im guessing correctly by the clips)

-Im basing this of a tiktok i saw about the actor being credited on part 2 buuut theo makes a comeback, maybe helping penelope in one last big lady w blast, or (most likely) after the queen does the reward for finding put who lady w is so maybe eloise tells cressida about the printer thing she discovered in s2 and cressida goes there and finds theo. Im going insane

-i personally believe benedict season is next bc it has been a long time and idk how much longer than they show him painting, fucking, etc, etc without getting repetitive, and this is my theory on how he meets sophie: theres the mascarede ball (if i remeber correctly that how he meets sophie) at the end of the season, after polin wedding, the woman he was fucking i dont remeber her name, stops talking to him or they get in a fight of some kind and benedict wants to get her back, so he goes to the ball and he thinks that its that woman and they somehow end up dancing and hes startruck bla bla you know the drill. The dance is over, sophie runs off and benedict, still beliving shes the other woman chases her BUT stops when he stumbles INTO THE WOMAN AND REALISES THAT THE GIRL HE WAS DANCING WITH IS SOMEONE ELSE, AND CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. This is more of a fanfic concept and theory rather than a prediction but i needed to share it. (I realize now that this theory does mot make sense given the speculative actress that is going to play sophie, but i took so much time writing that im going to left it here)

The other option is that the lady is sophies stepmother and she says that shes running out of money or something so she marries so that she doesnt go broke and breaks things off with benedict and he sees sophies father with the lady and bumps into sophie, whose there with her father, so to make the lady jealous dances with sophie but they end up getting along and benedict is starstruck but he asks for her name she runs off(? Bc of something idk im not that creative and bc this is taking place in a mascarade ball, benedict doesnt know neither her name or her face. So s4 will have benedict after a time jump of a year o more maybe (he forgot her voice idk) with a conflict between the lady, bc he genuenly liked her, and getting to know sophie and the strange memory of her in that dance.

- i think francesca will get engaged by the end of the season or will be very close to it.

Anyways i almost wrote a s4 script in this more than imagining what will happen in part 2 but oh well :)

[constablequodo]

WWDITS Height hcs!!

Now I know they have canon heights and whatnot, but this is just personally how I imagine them in my head.

Nandor

To be honest, I'd have to say i imagine Nandor to be around 7 feet without his boots on. I dont know why, but I see him as being so tall that he has to duck whenever he goes through most doorways.

Nadja

I imagine Nadja to be around 5'10 - 6 feet tall. She's probably the second tallest in the house. The shoes she wears probably make her around 6'2 on average, though. She gives me very tall lady energy, and I have no idea why. She likes to rest her chin on Laszlo's head, and he both loves and hates it.

Laszlo

Laszlo is around 5'7 in my eyes. He absolutely despises the fact that he's so short compared to most of his housemates, considering the fact he was probably one of the taller kids growing up (before he stopped growing and everyone overtook him). He often gets teased for it by Nandor, to which Laszlo remarks that "at least I dont hit my head trying to enter rooms."

Guillermo

Guillermo is 5'6. He's probably one of the shorter ones in his family, but this doesn't really bother him as much as it would others. Being around Nandor a lot makes him forget how tall people usually are on average, so whenever he meets anyone who's even a similar height to him, it surprises him quite a bit. He tried one of Nandor's cloaks on once, and the thing was so long on him that it literally trailed behind him.

Colin Robinson

He's 5'9, but he says he's 5'8 and a half to annoy 5'8 guys who swear on their life that they're much taller than they are. 5'9 is a very average height, and he's a pretty average guy (on the outside), so it fits.

Seanieee

Sean is 5'8-5'9. Again, it is a pretty average height, but it annoys the fuck out of Laszlo. Being Just Some Guy™️, Sean doesn't really think much about his height but admittedly finds it kind of funny that Laszlo is so annoyed at the small difference between them. Charmaine is definitely taller than him, and he doesn't really mind it because he's too much of a "i love my wife" kind of guy.

Sean does eventually think Laszlo being shorter is kind of cute, though.

[ragnars-tooth]

okay here are the ratings of chris dlaceys casting :D!! but only david zanna liz and tam because thats as far as i got and i dont have my book on me to check the rest of the casting 👍 

okay so first up! ben barnes as david (thankfully not young johnny depp): i see it but i just dont think he really works for david, a little too chiselled imo

i think that they should just time travel and get young chris dlacey to play david honestly 😎 like ben barnes is very davidcoded in these pictures i’ll admit but somethings kinda just off?? anyway he could play david but there could be better actors for him anyway I DIGRESS. ONTO ZANNA!

alright so for zanna he chose either gemma arterton or gemima rooper! and what can i say i disagree. but also agree. like they both have some of the general zanna feel but theyre just kinda off like

sort of like if you put zanna thru a pressure washer?? anyway they both work pretty well ig but honestly its hard to tell without zannas typical style (goth and stuff) to really hammer in the zanna feel so i remain neutral

NEXT UP- emma thompson as liz! honestly a pretty good choice overall but her features feel a little idk. sharper than i see liz with

also i think shes skinnier than liz would be, she’d be chubby at LEAST in my opinion,, i also feel like she would have a lot of freckles but i mean thats flexible

last up for now is a quick review of tams casting! my opinion has changed since when i first did this im now a colin farrell tam truther

so tam was cast as colin farrell, who im guessing his appearance was based off of a lot because,,, same last name and they look very similar. colins a bit more idk square? than i picture tam but honestly he fits quite well i mean look at this 👇 

like he doesnt necessarily look quite how i imagine tam but i think he has enough of the vibes that he could definitely play him and also there are a lot of silly pictures of him that i think its funny to imagine tam in lol

AND THATS ALL because i cant check for the other casting since im in class </3 and also should probably get back to my work fghjgfdghjgfdsfgh

hope you enjoyed my review 😎 please feel free to say your own opinions on the cast >:) (also iirc this casting was from the back of fire world or fire eternal? cant rllly remember tbh)

HELLO! I got stuck in corporate hell for a bit there soz but I made notes and realised I had more opinions about this than I thought lmao

(Disclaimer off the top: I’m quite faceblind so characters are mostly disembodied vibes to me but I Tried to find actors to fit my points)

Ok so:

David – Ben Barnes (I am so glad I was wrong about the Johnny Depp thing you have no idea)

I wrote exactly one thing about this and it is as follows: ‘he looks like he knows too many things’. I’m a Ben Barnes boy at the best of times but fr he looks too put together and like he could name more than five countries. I think I’m a bit too used to him playing badass characters too and sorry but david just isn’t </3

Zanna – Gemma Arterton/Gemima Rooper

Both of these women look like they would host bake off (this does not disqualify someone from playing zanna) It’s so hard to tell when they’re not all gothed up, zanna through a pressure washer fr 😭😭

Gemma Arterton feels closeish for me I think! She needs grunging up though. Zanna is a henry cavil kinda thing where whatever actress plays her needs to get hotter when fucked up (affectionate) yknow? The opposite of ‘she polishes up nice’

In googling her though I did realise why d’lacey thought of her for sure:

Him and his one goth girl reference fr

Liz – Emma Thompson

I think personality-wise she would be soo good as liz but fr there’s probably someone out there who would be a better visual match

Weirdly enough my first proper exposure to Emma Thompson was when she was Mrs Lovett in sweeney todd so initially I was thinking maybe she’s a good Gwillanna?? But now I just think she’d be a funny cameo as like… Agatha Bacon, or Mrs Gee or something?

Tam – Collin Farrell

This is literally hilarious to me. I am losing my mind. Tidy him up a little and whack some glasses on him and I’ll take it.

(I am now legally obligated to draw tam as obscure collin farrell images)

[bunk12bear]

Attening the dead

Not the best title i must admit, im open to sugestions. anyway I saw a tiktok about how Madam Pomfey was likely the one to declare the dead after the battle and thst got me thinking. Most of the people who died had likely been patients of hers at one point so i wrote this. I realise now I forgot sbout snape but I dont like him so meh. Fair waning this one is SAD.

trigger warnings grief, blood, death of a minor, discusion of injuries war and death.

Poppy Pomfrey didn't sign up to be a war medic. When she had been hired to be matron of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry she hoped to avoid some of the grizzlier aspects of healing. The first war had been devastating of course, losing so many of her former students had taken a toll but even through the worst of that war she never imagined the conflict would end up in the school she loves so much.

The dead are everywhere, laying amongst the rubble that used to be the Great Hall surrounded by their weeping friends and family. She stedies herself for a moment. Rationally she knows it's her job to attend to the dead but that doesn't make it any easier.

The first body she attends to is Colin Creevy, still only sixteen. If it weren't for the blood matted into his blond hair you might think he was asleep, he looks so very young at this moment.

She remembers 5 years before when he had been discovered petrified, his precious camera still in his hands. She remembered the letter she had sent his parents promising them that he would be safe, that Hogwarts wasn't normally this dangerous. She didn't think she'd ever hated being wrong more in her entire life. She hoped the bad news wouldn't be delivered via a letter again, they deserve to learn of their son's death in person, especially because they likely haven't seen him in months.

She moved on, winding her way through the wreckage, stopping to confirm what most of the weeping witches and wizards already knew. She hated seeing them all in pain; nearly every combatant at the Battle of Hogwarts had been a student during her time at the school and although she considered herself A top-notch Healer, she couldn't do anything about death or grief.

When she sees the body of Fred Weasley she nearly drops to her knees. Given their reckless nature, the Weasley twins had been frequent patients of hers. The only thing worse than Fred's too still body is George. He's sitting there, Fred's head in his lap absentmindedly stroking his hair. Tears slip slowly down his face, his eyes as dull and lifeless as his twin's.

She remembers the very first time Fred had ended up in the hospital wing. A prank had gone wrong and he would need to spend the night, just to make sure he was fine.

Both boys' demeanor changed instantly. Fred's injury had not stopped them from laughing and joking but the moment they found out that they would have to be sleeping separately the smiles dropped off their faces.

George's eyes begin to well with tears, "Wait does that mean I'm going to have to go back to my dorm without him?" He had asked, his voice shaky.

"I'm afraid so, only patients after hours" she had replied putting a hand on the 11 year old's shoulder.

"But that's not fair," Fred had protested, "We've never slept apart, never ever!" He looked over at his twin who is still doing his best not to cry, "can't you  bend the rules this once there's an empty bed right there I promise I'll be on my best behavior." 

She likely could have but  both boys needed the sleep and she knew from their dorm mates that they had a tendency to keep each other up.

George had been there first thing in the morning bouncing on his toes nervously. Both twins were overjoyed when she told them that Fred was being discharged relieved at the thought they wouldn't have to spend another night apart.

She thought again about those little boys so worried about the prospect of sleeping in separate rooms, now they would never share a room ever again; the thought felt a bit like a stab to the heart.

She goes through the motions quickly and efficiently with Fred not wanting to keep George from his brother's body.

Nymphadora Tonks or was it Lupin now was another frequent visitor. She was clumsy, enthusiastic and, much like the Weasley twins, had a tendency towards mischief.

Her very first visit to the hospital wing had happened within days of her arrival to Hogwarts. She had been slightly too enthusiastic getting something out of her trunk and smacked herself right in the nose with the lid. Eventually the girl had ended up in the hospital wing with so many minor injuries that Pomfry had hunted down all of her friends to teach them how to cast episkey, a spell she had used so many times that morning that it had long since stopped sounding like a word.

While it had been gut-wrenchingly heartbreakingly difficult to attend to any of the dead the worst was the man laying next to Dora.

She had taken care of Remus Lupin once a  month for seven years, even coming to his home after every summer full moon. She had spent many an hour carefully tending to his wounds hidden away from the prying eyes of his curious classmates.

She had adored him when he was a student. She knew she shouldn't pick favorites but even if he hadn't had to visit her Hospital Wing once a month he would probably still be one of hers. He was sweet, kind and smart but with a wicked mischievous streak. She remembers the impish sparkle in his eyes one day in 1975 when he had revealed to her that he had replaced Cassius Nott's writing set with Zonko's invisible ink quills.

Then there was the year he spent as defense against the dark arts teacher. In her opinion he was by far the best person in the position in years, decades even though she might be biased. That year she had not only helped him after the full moon , an easier prospect with the invention of wolfsbane potion, but they had built a real friendship. They had tea in her office every week and frequently chatted at the staff table. She had hoped that after the war, if the whole Voldemort cursing the position business was true,he might return for a permanent position on the Hogwarts staff. Now that would never happen.

She took a moment to run her thumb along the scars on his face one last time before moving on with her solemn duty.

[thekatebridgerton]

Reincarnation AU, tho, oh boy I am loving it. Could imagine Freddy giving Penelope his blessings and Penelope runs away from the altar to find Colin. Colin is ready to kick someone’s ass because he thinks Freddy jilted her but Penelope confesses to him and that she remembers, she starts going on and on in apologizing and he shuts her up by kissing her.

Dear readers who need context, Anon is talking about this post

and also this post

and also this post

tomorow I'll get around to giving this reincarnation au a proper unique tag so I dont have to do so much link spam. lol. #BRau and all that.

I think Penelope's breakup with Freddie in the altar, would only be amiable because Friedrich can't bring himself to keep up the charade of watching Penelope turn herself into someone she's not, just to make him happy. And Colin would find her crying, but more crying for the lifestyle she thought she wanted, the husband, the kids, and the white picket fence, she never had in her childhood. And her wedding to Freddie was supposed to fulfill all her mother's dreams for her. But then she remembers her past life and realizes nothing of that ever mattered anyway, she needs to find Colin and tell him she loves him.

You know, someone should really write this au. I wish I could, but if any of you wants to write it, please do. I would definately read it.

and that's the tea

[smutsonian]

Ma'am I had this idea. Outrageous but I did😂😂. Dark! Colin Shea. Can u imagine. Him acting all friendly but his intentions r not so good. So I can't sleep now. Yay😂😂

Heyy! So another movie I haven’t seen 🤭 But it’s basically like a Neighbor AU situation, right?

I’m going to try something, I guess 😂

safe hands

colin shea x reader

warnings: smut! dark fic! noncon! drunk reader, innocent reader, stalking, obsession, loss of virginity, dark!colin, not proofread  

wc: 1606

a/n: not me writing for characters i dont even know... @jack-skellingtons-stuff hope ur sleepin well now sdkskskkd

masterlist

So Colin...

Probably a boy next door

Like literally. You just moved and he’s your next-door neighbor.

So, imagine you... A young pretty little thing that’s fresh out of college and is looking for a job but you’re just this awkward little ball of sunshine that keeps messing everything up.

You never even go out of your apartment unless it’s for an interview, even then, you so dread those stuff.

“You’re a freaking adult now! Why can’t you just act normal and do adult... stuff?!” You would chide yourself in front of a mirror, groaning in desperation at your lack of... experience? Like workwise.

Hey, there are people working from home. Maybe you can do that?

And you did. And you actually found one which is great for your adulthood but not great for you because you never go out of your apartment anymore. At all.

That’s when Colin comes in.

He was there when you moved in, expecting you to greet him like every girl who sees him. He really gets em easily. I mean... look at him.

So he watched you as you brought boxes in which there was not much. There were like 3 boxes, maybe 5 but not more. He watched you with amusement as you were too busy grunting at the boxes, missing his nude form by his door, only a small towel to cover himself.

He takes a bite of his apple, obnoxiously chewing to catch your reaction but he was met with a slam of your door.

Since then, he has become fond of you.

He’d watch you as you went in and out of your apartment in those cute little skirts and wonderful blouses and every time, it’s a sight for him.

He eventually found out that you’re going to job interviews and he found himself following you and witnessing some of those awkward interviews and he finds himself growing more fond of you. Even got himself thinking that he might actually like you... Is that even possible? He’s Colin Shea. He doesn’t settle down.

But for you, he might.

He saw how you would block everything out and he listened to your late-night talks with yourself and he can’t help but think about how adorable you are. How helpless you are. Something ignited in him and all he wants to do now is be there for you. Protect you. Take care of you.

Imagine his reaction when you’re no longer getting out of your apartment.

So he finally decides to meet you. Or for you to meet him. He knows so much about you already but he won’t say that to you.

A knock forces you away from your laptop. You open the door to find a man staring down at you with a friendly smile.

“Umm, hi? D-did I, Was I making any noise or something?” Your stuttering would make Colin’s heart leap out of his chest and the way you're dressed down with shorts and a huge sweater only made his heart swell even more.

“Uh hi! I’m Colin! I’m your neighbor! I uh... Was going to ask a favor, if that’s alright?” He smiles shyly at you.

“Um, yeah! What’s up?” You smile awkwardly, silently praying for him to leave already. Not that he was annoying. You were just not used to this... And besides, you’re doing work.

“I locked myself out of my apartment and I tried talking to the office but I guess they’re already out. I mean it’s pretty late.” He looks down at his wristwatch before looking at you with a hopeful smile making your heart beat faster. Not because of his boyish cute smile but because the idea of a stranger being with you just doesn’t sit right.

But it would be more awkward to deny him now, would it?

“It’ll be as if I wasn’t here. I promise. Just need somewhere to spend the night. I mean I can sleep by my door but that would be--” 

“Y-yeah, I guess you can stay for a while.” You give him a small smile which Colin found extremely adorable which then made him grin. A grin that soon fell when he took a look around your apartment.

He watches as you make your way back to your laptop, quickly getting back into your zone. His heart falls at the sight. Is that what you’ve been doing the whole day?

“Have you eaten?” He finds himself asking, not being able to resist.

He watches your face contort into confusion and he would’ve awed at the sight but your reply made him somewhat angry.

“I guess not... Did you want anything?” You pull yourself away from your laptop once more and Colin didn’t know if he liked the idea of you preparing his food but nothing for yourself. 

What a sweet girl...

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll order take-out!” Colin cheered before pulling out his phone, wiggling his eyebrows at your shocked expression.

That’s how you find yourself eating pizza while watching some show on the telly.

Then those nights became a thing.

Colin would often visit you, making sure that you eat and take a break from work because he said that you tend to overwork yourself.

“You’re not my mom!” You’d playfully slap his chest.

“Well, I might as well be!” He’ll take your wrist before dragging you towards your bed and forcing you to watch another batch of comedy shows.

He’d be laughing at the show so much that you find yourself laughing as well. 

You would no longer feel so stressed.

But then things went badly. 

The company you were working for decided to let some employees go and unfortunately, those who work from home weren’t as important as those who work in the office.

You cried in Colin’s arms that night.

Colin did feel sorry for you. But maybe it’s for the best. Even the universe thinks you shouldn’t be working like that. He’s there to take care of you. You would no longer have to stress yourself out to live.

He’ll make sure to take good care of you.

Then the drinks came up.

One bottle of beer. Then two. Then three.

Honestly, you lost count.

Colin didn’t. He didn’t drink any.

He’d watch you with a smile as you’re sad and brooding aura turned into a giggly one.

“I’m sleepy...” You would mutter, head falling down Colin’s shoulder and he would embrace you happily, stroking the side of your face gently.

He’ll smile at the way you would squeal when he carries you to your bed.

“You enjoy being relaxed, babe?” He asks, taking your socks off. Then your shorts and shirt that went unnoticed by you.

“Too hot!” You’d fan yourself with your hand which Colin would take. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He’ll press a kiss on your forehead that’ll make you giggle.

Colin would watch your naked body, touch your warm skin with patience.

“So beautiful... And all for me, right?” He presses a kiss on your lips and you nod at whatever it is he’s saying.

He’ll easily play your body, making you and himself feel good. His fingers would play with your clit while his mouth laps on your nipples, taking turns from left and right.

He’d bask at the sound of your moans and whimpers that went straight to his hardening cock.

He’ll only stop when you’re drunkenly begging for more which he happily gives.

His hard cock would be poking your entrance and as he pushes in slowly, your eyes would widen, suddenly not so drunk anymore.

“Colin?” Your frightened voice alerts Colin and he would shush you with a kiss.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. I got you... I got you...” He whispers before pushing in, swallowing your cries with lustful kisses.

“God!” He moans when he’s fully seethed in, your walls hugging his cock. He stays there for a while, listening to your heavy breathing and slightly feeling guilty at your cries.

“Ahh...” You cry out when he slowly pulls out. He’d kiss your tears away before slowly pushing back in, pulling your body closer to his in a hug, whispering promises about feeling better soon.

And you did.

Your cries turned into moans which motivated Colin to thrust faster yet still careful to not hurt you. He didn’t even have to ask because when he looked down at his cock, he saw little blood, and his jaw clenched, feeling some sort of remorse.

“You’re doing good, You’re so good to me.” He whispers before resuming his thrusts. He’d dwell at the sound of your pleasured moans and his hand would find its way down your clit, fingers playing with the nub until your body was shaking violently underneath him.

“You gonna cum? Cum for me, baby... You’re good. You’re safe...” He grunts at how your walls are tightening around him. You whimper before curling against his body, unknowingly pulling his body closer to yours. 

He shivers before cumming as well, his seeds filling your hole, making you drip with his cum. He places a loving kiss on your forehead before pulling out.

The mixture of blood and his cum makes him get a cloth before gently cleaning you up, being extra careful when he wiped at your core.

He cleans himself up before lying back beside you. He presses a kiss on the side of your head, your nose, and then your lips.

“I’ll take care of you. You don’t have to worry about anything anymore...” He places a hand on your stomach before smiling and pulling the covers over the both of you.

You’re in safe hands.

---

a/n: see i dont think i should write for these guys (from movies i haven’t watched/too lazy to watch) because im probs messing up a lot skskks anyway hope y’all think this one is alright! also im a sucker for innocent reader jcnavn

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @white-wolf1940 @the-soulofdevil @mianorth @littlegasps

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @slytherinandoutasgard

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[saltysalmonkid]

yo those colin robinson headcanons were dope as fuck and i would listen to a podcast of his historical spoon ramblings any day. any thoughts about laszlo and nadja's past together? i for one have always been obsessed with that one frame in the opening where they're in 80s punk gear

I dont remember if i mentioned this or not but i imagine that they were the ones who lived in the manor originally, and Nandor was actually just some rando vampire that laszlo had over so often that nadja agreed to just let him move in. Also i like to think thy participated in many an alternative movement back in the day, nadja especially since shes much older than laszlo. I also like to think nadja was very involved in the early feminist movements (of which i am not educated enough to namedrop sorry💀💀 if anyone knows any that would fit the time period where she was in america drop em in the tags) since from what we've seen in the show she seems to have a very strong sense of that stuff! Also she and laszlo are t4t i dont take criticism. I definitely mentioned this b4 but nadja is a trans woman and laszlo is transmasc/genderfluid. bc i say so. Also theyre literally the pinnacle of romance. Idk what else to say theyve had a fucking lovely marriage because they love each other and set healthy boundaries. I want what they have so bad

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[nonunsnonunsnone]

asks!! 🖤🖤

what is a plot line you would write into season 4 of wwdits?

Would you rather get “betrayed” and “abandoned” by your not-boyfriend human familiar/bodyguard after you basically proposed to him or BETRAYED and ABANDONED by your centuries-long husband who chose a adult baby man over you?

what advice would you give your younger self? :)

Hey thanks a bunch babe!!

- hmm a specific plot line that would fit s4: A few episodes into her job, Nadja has some struggles, because of how high up this position is and how she rly wants to succeed and she’s getting into her head and Guillermo tries to calm her down in typical fashion (some yoga!!! Meditation!!! Oooo what if we get a massaaaaggeeee let’s get a meni pedi 🥰) and it all ends up not helping Nadja at all and it ends with Nadja finding her inner peace by just burning something down or killing a shit ton of people. Like that’s her happy place. Guillermo has not feared any of the vampires in the house for a while now but!! There’s definitely one he should always be terrified of- my fucking wife 🥺

Also, Colin Robinson in daycare. Yes.

- OOOOO OK OK AM I NANDOR OR NADJA HERE OKKKK OMMMM

this is hard because there are two different types of trust being broken here and I feel like this in itself is becoming a meta post but:

Nadja’s trust in Laszlo is one that has been built over the years, it’s steady and it has been running strong for centuries. CENTURIES. he always does what he deems to be best for Nadja and usually it’s to be by her side. This is the first time he puts someone else over Nadja not because he loves her less but because he trusts that she will be fine and knows that Colin won’t be. From Nadja’s pov though, this is something she could have never seen coming.

Laszlo in many ways is her rock, truly. When you trust someone again and again and without fail they are always there for you even in ways you don’t clock at first (jesk) you can never imagine them not being there for you. And it sort of becomes the one thing you can’t be without. Their support becomes a part of you. Well, Nadja is now going through losing that - experiencing the pain of disappointment and rage over Laszlo not being there for her. And humans might have that sort of bond with someone for a few years to a few decades and if it breaks it hurts like hell. I can’t imagine having that trust broken after centuries. I really do feel for her.

On the other hand, literally the opposite is happening to Nandor. He is being left behind by someone who has left him before, but this time it feels different because he has hope. It’s the type of pain where someone who disappointed you in the past does it again, but with all your heart you thought they changed and you’re safe now, which in itself is oh s o painful because you’re tired of it. You berate yourself for believing they could have changed. You blame yourself for ever believing that things will go the way you want them to. He gave Guillermo everything he thought he wanted and still he was left behind.

To answer the question, I would rather be Nandor here, because goddamnit writing this I just Realised how much this is going to affect Nadja and her marriage.

- what advice hm - USE THE TIME YOU HAVE FOR WHAT YOU LOVE!!!! BUILD GOOD HABITS LIKE CLEANING THE DISHES OH MY GOD MY SINK IS FILTHY!!!! WHEN IN BARTERING SITUATIONS YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY YES TO EVERYTHING AND THERE ARE SITUATIONS (not relating to consent and s3x im talking about bargaining about changes or salaries or work load etc.) WHERE NO IS NOT COMPLETELY NO!!!! PEOPLE ARE MENDABLE AND THERE CAN BE AN EVEN GROUND

Thank u for these mwah ly

[danepopfrippery]

S1e5 rewatch

Poor Nadja. And i love Nandor and Guillermo bickering and acting like they totally arent just like Nadja and Laszlo. And Nandor giving him shit then repeating his quips lololol.

I love my lazy lil fuck like…why couldnt Laszlo hypnotize the gf? Hes so awful at that lol

In Nadja and Laszlo’s room there is a skull on a table. There was one in a closet last ep (w skin lol). How many fuckin heads are in that house?

Ive come to believe Taika Waititi’s fake name has to involve Jeff

I also love how…Colin Robinson is brought into this? Like they cant find Nadja so he’ll do?!?

I think the ‘enter if only invited’ is almost dropped after this ep. It clutters what the vamps can do tho i never understood why say Guillermo couldnt enter and then invite them in?

And then as if to say ‘fuck all that’ they spent 5 mins building up how vamps cant even enter a parking garage but the animal control chick is just chatting away like she knows the cameras?! I get why they may be around (Nandor and Colin flying behind) but not why shed be like come sit and chat.

Also…why did Nandor let Colin fly w him and not Guillermo? Or did i miss it despite rewinding 3 times lol?! Ok right they made Guillermo bike lol!!!!! I so very much would love to see how that was decided.

Poor Jesk he must be so fuckin hard up to be like ‘gee this freaky chic is moaning at me but im into it’

Colin giving Nandor shut is great. Poor lil Nandor the look he has is like when Blackbeard told the guys the rich ppl picked on him.

And for something else soon to be forgotten Colin claims Nandor ate a cat (and Nandor acts like its true and hes embarrassed by it). Jenna is shown later to eat raccoons and shit so prbly true

Annnnd yup Nandor also fails at hypnotizing. Only Nadja seems to be able to do it. Colin continues nailing it

The hissing fight lolololol. Can u imagine just working ur shit job and too weirdos start hissing at each other?

Its wildly funny to me Nadja can do all sorts of shit but fake eating food realistically. Girl just hypnotize him

U do want Colin if forms are involved. Honestly this ep is a great example of their abilities and stupidities. Colin can mess w humans but is useless otherwise. Laszlo and Nandor immediately get trapped (Nandor getting trapped AFTER laszlo is so fucking funny) and they only are all still alive cuz Nadja is around…and Guillermo. I mean if they brought Guillermo this wouldve been a lot easier from the start lol. ‘Not now Guillermo’ lololol

I want little more in this life than Laszlo to take Sam as a familiar. Laszlo + cats gives me life. ‘I have a gentlemans agreement w this cat’

I have trouble believing a monger of thousands of years could be that thrilling?! Thats like saying a walmart greeter is so sexy.

I dont think we’ve ever seen the ‘go back’ trick on anyone else. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO IT TO GUILLERMO AND MAKE IT THE OFMD CROSSOVER

Its actually fascinating that by this logic u could be really fascinating as a soul and even body but not in the current outfit (life) ur wearing.

That cat is a star im telling u. Id love to see Laszlo bring cats to a riot. The lil finger hypnotize he tries is…oddly sexy?

Do u think Nandor is kind to the hell hound cuz he can turn into a dog? God id love to see what all animals they can turn into

‘You turn yourself into a dog in a place that imprisons dogs?’ This fuckhead got himself in a cage and hes LECTURING U AND RIGHT ABOUT IT. Poor Nandor.

And now the only time any of them have a cellphone and its Nadja…who cant work a remote lol

And now yup Guillermo can get her in. Or unleashing Colin long enough works.

I need a still of Laszlo sitting in that cage lol

And yup he forgot to hypnotize the cats lol

[babbling-idiot]

Colin gray x reader

Prompts

Request: On the prompt list: 9 angst, 8 fluff and 22 on random with Mr. Colin Gray pwease!! I love you btw!

9. “Why are you awake?”

8. “Sleep over? Please?”

22.  “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

Warnings: non

(Hey there anon thanks for requesting this. I had fun writing it. Luckily I felt like writing so thank you again, kinda set me in the right mood. Hope you enjoy!)

Tonight was not your night to say the least. It was confusing and all in all kinda ridiculous. You had tried to fall asleep countless of times, even trying desperately to get a hold of any one so you can talk. Obviously everyone was asleep at this time of night and they would probably be too tired anyway to talk, so your options were down to none. But there was one person that came to mind, that was probably asleep but would maybe stay up with you. Colin Gray. You and him had became friends after bumping into each other in the hall one day at school. You both somehow ended up knocking each other onto the ground and later became partners in a group project, so yall decided to become friends.

As you sit up in bed you squint down at your phone rifling through your recent messages until you come across a certain name "Emo Boi". You press the call button and wait. A few rings later and your hope is dying out, until you heard a groggy "I dont know who the hell this is but you better have a good reason as to waking me up this late." He says, clearly he was dead asleep before he answered. "I do actually. I am fully awake and bored. I have no one to talk to so I resorted to calling you, so what up?" You heard what sounded like moving around on the other side of the phone, you could imagine him sitting up in his bed. "Why are you awake?" " I'm bored colin. I need to do something to help me fall asleep. Like talking, talking makes me tired and your the one person that might help me." "Why, 'cause you think I'm boring?" "What! No, you know that's not it. Your an amazing writer and you have stories. That the only reason." He rolls his eyes at this "Well my phone is at 25% and I left my charger at your house so I'm not gonna be able to talk for long.." "Sleepover." Theres silence on the other end, maybe you broke him "huh?" "Sleepover? Please?" "B-but...i.....ugh....fine." "What you say?" "I said fine!" You smile to yourself "Keep me on the phone please!" "First, you wake me up for god only knows what then you want me to run down my phones charge. You are very lucky I like you.." you chuckle at this "Yes I know. Now hurry up." Just as you thought the night couldn't get any better all of a sudden you hear his music slightly playing. Bullet with butterfly wings? Smashing Pumpkins! Since when did he listen to there music. "You listen to Smashing Pumpkins? You like there music? How old are you colin!" "Good thing I didnt ask for your opinion." You scoff "oh come on, it's a good song. There is way worse shit you could listen to." "Oh yeah like what?" "PPAP. You know that pineapple song." "Oh jesus, that guy still haunts my dreams. Dont remind me please." At this point your laughing, almost falling off your own bed. You sit up fast in your bed when you hear what sounds like a car door outside. You walk over to your window and see colin making his way to the side of you house. Luckily your parents hadn't moved that ladder there, if they did then you and colin would be in a pickle. He climbs up and walks over to your window. You open it for him and he crawls in but ultimately fails and falls onto the floor. He then gets up and goes to sit down at your desk "Alright two things. One is your face okay and two what the hell are you wearing." He was wearing a black and red striped tank-top with what looked like his boxer-briefs but you didnt think he'd be that careless. He looks down at his clothes and realizes his mistake.  "Im fine. Last time I was here I accidentally left both my charger and some clothes so can I see them please." You nod and go over to your closet. You bend down and pick up the small pile of clothes and hand them over. He slips on the pair of pajama pants and then settles back down onto your bed. "So I'm here, I'm present! What do you wanna do?" "Well mom and dad have to leave early this morning so maybe we could put a movie on and talk about shit?!" "I like the sound of that. I'm picking the movie tho." You scoff "You picked last time!" "Yeah that was last time and this time you woke me up dead at night, so you got two options either i leave and your bored or I pick a movie. Careful this is a very critical situation." He says raising an eyebrow. You chuckle and roll your eyes "Just hurry and come sit down." He smile and slides a dvd in before jumping onto the bed.

Not even far into the movie your already fast asleep against his shoulder and hes running his fingers through your hair. You shift and he freezes, afraid he woke you but you ultimately snuggle into his side and he smiles even wider. He wraps his arm around you and lays his head back against the head board. "I love you y/n. I wish I was brave enough to tell you. You deserve so much, i hope I'll be the one to give you everything your heart desires, goodnight." He says as he kisses the top of your head. You smile slightly, hearing every word he had just said, little did he know.

(Hey there again. So to everyone, the prompts are very enjoyable to me so please do request for anyone in my masterlist. I am really trying to write stuff in my own time and hopefully will have a few fics out soon, so fingers crossed🤞😬. Hope you enjoyed this, have an amazing day/night and stay safe in the world plzzzzzz!!)

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

[riverster]

This is me but opposite still don't get how some ppl ship them-

i rlly hope he ain't just a jock cus there can be so much more to his character like imagine him breaking the stereotype of a jock in a kids cartoon like football is his side thing and he mostly focuses on acting and doing his best in his crafts

Instead of having this weird "manly smirky additude" make him polite and sweet maybe a bit soft and make him a bit of a stutter

If @the-skittles-squads hc became canon he would be my nr 1 fave rh character but sadly cus of all we know is

He's into football (a little too much than what we were given from the bio)

Does not come across as a sweetheart he had those lowkey mean expressions throughout ep 11 and him saying shit like swag makes it even worse he comes off like one of 'ths boys🥶🔥💯😈, no joke that additude ain't cute like who tf thinks 'oh ppl like that' NO THEY DONT

and the tone of his voice

Let me break it down

His voice is kinda good? Its not colin low and it has a slight high pitch to it (you can hear it when he says 'congratulations' ) but it's the tone the voice director wanted for his character that it makes him even worse and the way they made him move in that scene and do that unnecessary and creepy old guy move wink it didn't help to say the least

So yes 😚🔪 my rant bye

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series