#i dont know what i did to deserve not being cursed but being the curse
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mushed-kid · 7 days ago
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i need life to work out soon like im kinda tired tbh
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orcelito · 5 months ago
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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
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starboye · 5 months ago
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pairing: cheating!nick nelson x slutty!male reader
warnings: smut, cheating, handjob, cursing
summary: nick needs more of you at school so you give it to him in your own way
"I need you" is the first thing you see when you open your phone after getting a notification "what" you text back "meet me in the bathroom in ten" nick texts last, you huff as you close your phone "who was that" charlie asks peering over to your phone "no one just a friend" you say smiling a little.
"and what exactly did the friend say to get you so frustrated" charlie asks now rasing an eyebrow "charlie it's really nothing" you chuckle "fine" charlie says going back to his work, you raise your hand and ask the teacher to go to the bathroom.
as you walk to the bathroom you feel sort of guilty knowing that you're fucking your best friends boyfriend behind his back "what if he finds out" you think to yourself before entering the bathroom to find nick in the stall eagerly awaiting you.
"finally" nicks says pulling you into a kiss "woah what was that" you say pushing him back a little "I dont know I just did it" nick say smiling "what did you need help with" you ask rolling your eyes "this" nick says pulling down his pants and his hard on springing out.
"damn why not just jerk off" you say "I tried that but I still wouldn't go down, I need you" nick says "fine but let's not make this a frequent thing" you sternly say before dragging nick into the stall and locking it behind you.
"drop 'em" you order to which nick quickly does "spit" you say holding out you hand to nicks mouth, he coats your hand with saliva before you mix yours with his and smear it over his dick before stroking it lightly.
"fuck" nick lightly curses dropping his head on the wall "you like this" you ask "mhm" nick groans through tight lips "don't be shy let out those sweet moans I heard this morning" you whisper tightening your hand around nicks dick.
"ngh mmm" nick stammers "yeahhh just like that" you say, the only sounds being heard in the bathroom are the slickness of your hand stroking nicks dick, you kiss nick deeply as he moans into your mouth.
"m'gonna cum" nick gasps thrusting into your hand desperately "you can hold it longer" you say stopping nicks hips from moving "please" nick whimpers with light watery eyes.
"just a little more" you coo kissing nicks jawline "you got this for me" you say "fine" nick huffs "good boy" you compliment "call me that again" nick says through a moan "what, good boy" you ask "mhm" nick manages to get out.
"you're my good boy" you say running your finger across nicks v line making him shudder under your touch "your hands are so soft" nick whines "well thank you, I'm very talented with them" you say "wanna see how" "yes please" nick nods eagerly.
you rub your thumb along the slit of nick dick, taking long strokes from the shaft all the way to his sensitive tip "fuck it feels so good" nick brokenly moans "can I please cum how y/n" nick pleas.
"fine I guess you deserved it" you say quickening your pace on nicks dick and rubbing his tip extra hard making the whole restroom fill up with nicks vulgar sounds "nghhh" nick longingly moans as he cums all over your hand"
"you can really cum loads" you chuckle licking the cum off your fingers as you stare at nick "we could go again" nick grins with lust in his eyes "mm as much as I would love that I gotta get back to your boyfriend aka my best friend" you smile "c'mon you could spare another couple of minutes" nick pleas
"nope a few minutes for you turns into an hour for me, and I know from experience big boy" you joke rubbing nicks cummy tip one more time before putting it back in his pants "fine" nick whines pulling his pants back up before trying to go in for a kiss.
"still a no" you say blocking his kiss "so then what would you call this" nick asks "a friends with benefits" you smile as you walk out the bathroom and walking back to class with a big smile as you sit down."and what has you so chipper" charlie asks "nothing just happy" you say before getting back to your work.
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 7 months ago
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ASTROLOGY EDITION - THE SENSUAL APPEAL OF THE NAKSHATRAS
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Hey, so I've been more focused on the nakshatras lately.. and love getting into how sensual, flirtatious, raw and powerful some of the nakshatras could be. I may start this off with just the nakshatras itself, focusing on the sign and its energy as opposed to the planets in each of these naks. So yeah. Lets get into it ;)
So first is up, Hasta. There the ones who really inspired me to do this so here we go.
Hasta - Delicate. Refined. Opened Hearts. Very sensual beings who know how to ease you into to their souls. They have a replenishing auras that could fulfill the desires of another. Oop, did I say that? They are indeed the temptress, the ones that will make you fall in love with, as they know you will never get anything from the in return. Having been hurt in the past, they usually carry themselves with a tight armor, only this time they know they wont have to... Because someone will always take the bait ;)
Hastas are truly amazing at crafting their hearts into the desires that they want. So much so, they'll utilize their sex appeal in order to get what they want. Very smart, coi and productive... Their like the jaguar you dont see coming. They always get what they want, because others are more than likely to give to the hastanian babe whenever they please.
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Rohini - Ooooooh! They are sooo seductive. They have a quiet temper that is aroused when the right soul meets into their arms. They're only lovers for the plot. If it gets too deep and on the wrong foot then their outta here. Sorry busta!If you don't give it to them the right way, then they won't be here for long. They are only here for one purpose, and that is to fulfill their desires in more ways than one. Like their hasta friends, they know how to go for what they want, and they'll get it by any means necessary.
There temptress powers they carry can attract an audience if they let it. There touch can last for hours, penetrating into the skin like magic. They are the doorway to salvation. Pleasure is their profound language. It is a blessing and a curse to be this type of delight. A special occasion, they keep anyone anyway who is not deserving of their love.
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Anuradha - I feel like this one deserves a round of applause ONLY because they do not share these gifts so easily. The people could want more but that isn't enough. Once they get a hold of your tempting magic people will definitely try and take you to the pits of hell. So its kept in a jar, locked away for a while until the anuradha babe is ready to go for the kill. When she wants it, she will. And when mama's hungry, shes gonna eat ;) Siren-like eyes that can penetrate into your soul. It can spook you ;) But all the Anuradha wants is to entice, it is how she gets what she desires. She has a flow that is naturally pulling like the Jyestha, we don't know what it is but its powerful, convincing, and its rare. The anuradha is the type to pull yu in, to the point that when she catches you in her spell.. she will eat you alive. Its better to stay away if you dont want to be bit, but her allure is just so damn powerful. It'll have you begging for more.
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Krittikas - Their raw sexuality will pour into your skin, and before you know it.. they've already gotten you into their mini web. Darling.. the ones who where this nakshatra on their sleeves use every bit of their power to seduce the right one.. sometimes it catches others too. There striking presence keeps the others wondering where have they been all of their life. The one who moves to the beat of their own drum, tameless. It is why so many try to focus on wooing you in order to make you into what THEY want you to be.. and you beat em at their game every time. The seductive prowess they carry show a reflective force from the moon down to the sun, with its rays being so powerful it has everyone looking at them.. waiting to explore what is deep inside the krittika, only to be found later in their dungeon. Taking their souls, and never to be heard of again.
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Shravana - They have a very powerful aura that pushes the narrative about themselves. They have the gift that keeps on giving. They know what to do with their seduction, its the one that gets them the highest bidder! What shapes you, is the power of the mind, the soul and the spirit. So they do themselves the diligence to create from within, and not without. They are hungry to learn more about their presence as their gifts connect to the souls of thousands.. What I mean is that these babes have a gift of opening up the godlike force that many try to emulate.. but many can't do. There seductive prowess inspires thousands to watch them as they watch to the shravana native, craving for their affection.. As they can be so very giving, but with a price. It all comes down to them wanting to be at the top, and they'll whatever they can to get it. It comes with a sense of ease, and they'll choose their favorite worshiper to teach ;)
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Mula - HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! They don't even know how deep this goes.. but they penetrate into your skin with no effort. There gift is in spiking you with their mind, and leading you in with their heart.. They know how to entice you into doing for them and fitting to their needs.. You wont even blink an eye and yet wont even care. You'll just be glad to be in their presence is all. They have a special aura that most find pretty enchanting, and their souls spark a conversation one what makes them so unique.. because most people are mystified by them and begin to take notes.. but they will never know what that is to be exact. Which is what makes their seductive prowess just that damn good. It exists for them and them alone.. if they decide to share this with you consider yourself LUCKY.. Because they like you more than the rest, and who they are and how they carry themselves is a gift you when they want to share it.. Whew.. they'll really touch you in ways you won't forget.
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I will post on the rest of them soon. Let me know in the comments how you feel about the nakshatras !!
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hel1nn · 2 months ago
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And suddenly everything changed ೀ⋆。
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Ch.1 ⋆。˚୨ the first time i met you ୧˚。⋆ ch.2 ♡
𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem zenin!reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ : Listen to kingston while reading ⭑.ᐟ
୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ : fluffyy | 18+ smut mdni | eventual smut | arranged marriage | reader is 22 and gojo is 25 | reader had a lonely life untill satoru came | abuse (gojo did nothing here.) | trauma | sprinkles of angsts | jealousy | flashbakes | soft!satoru | soft!reader | loss of virginity | self harm | first time falling in love | reader has two sisters. | Reader belongs to zenin clan. | Idiots to lovers | reader doesn't find satoru annoying since she was alone her whole life. | Insecurities | 𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆
౨ৎ Summery : spending your whole life with feeling of being useless and a waste of space,even worse that your two sisters had cursed energy but you didn't, made you wanted to kill yourself so many times but it stopped when a marriage proposal was sented to gojo clan about marrying you or one of your two sisters. Your sisters were so powerful and beauty with brain so why did satoru gojo choosed you? Moodboard | series masterlist
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Flashback
You looked around, everyone around you wore black clothes,a body was laying Infront of you, covered in a white blanket. Your mom. You already asked everyone why she wasn't moving,but everyone brushed you off or didn't even replied. Little did you know your life would be completely turn into some kind of hell. The more you grow up the more. At the age of 13 there were cut marks on your writs or arms or legs,all the sadness and anger you took out on yourself. Everything became even worse that you didn't have any cursed techniques or cursed energy but your sisters did. They stopped your study after first year of your highschool. They thought it wasn't important for an another shame of zenin clan. You felt like a dead body whis heart was still beating. Your mother was the only person who loved you and no one but she was taken away from you too. Useless child. Waste of space. You dont deserve to be a zenin. And more. Even your dad hated you too. When he got remarried you remember how your step mom used to beat the shit out of you because of little things. You were tired of everything
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Your father had told you to meet him in his room. You thought he'd scold you again for something you did or he will give you a lecture about how shitty you are. Little Did you know it wasn't. You enter his room,taking a seat Infront of him across the coffee table. "What do you want" you spoke,you dad's face turned slightly disgusted "do you have any manners about how to talk to your own dad?" He grumbles but you kept quiet,but you had to speak. "Can we just talk about what's important.."
"we sent a marriage proposal to gojo clan"
Oh,you slightly tense up. "And?"
"don't you dare to act like a brat. I'll just go straight to the point. We sent a marriage proposal to gojo clan for you and your sisters. They just had to choose one of you." Your father had nothing more than disgust on his face.
He did all of this without a single opinion of yours,your throat ran dry.. you don't have to worry. No one would choose someone like you. That's what you thought.
"and they choosed you." Your father said.
"..."
"speak."
You felt words dry inside you.. how could they choose someone like you. Your no one. But they did.
"stop overreacting,we already had said yes. And the date is December 30. There will be a meeting tomorrow."
You got no choice anyway, getting married would be better than living in a clan of jerks.
"and who I'm going to marry?"
"tch.." you heard your father. This long and he didn't even bothered to tell you the name of the man your supposed to marry. "satoru gojo"
You tense up, panicked slightly
"w-what..?"
"yes,your going to marry satoru gojo. I don't know why did he picked you.."
You dad mumbles in annoyance. You have heard about gojo so much. That he's the strongest, he's got the looks of an angel, everyone likes him, he's this he's that and more,but you had never seen him,never bothered to. Because you used to think a person like him wouldn't even bothered to know who're you. You just gave a nod to your father, already leaving the room. You were somehow anxious scared. You lock yourself up in your room for the day.
𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒
Maids were busy to doll you up for satoru,you said nothing. Letting them have their way with you. He was strongest sorcerer of today and you.. you were just you. Barely Existing. One of the maid scolds you for moving while she was applying lipstick on you. You just gave a apologetic smile and nothing more. You sit still. After all of the makeup and clothes you were finally ready,to meet the man your supposed to marry. You were just looking at yourself in the mirror and the silence suddenly gets broke by your step mom
"can't believe he choosed you" you hear her mumble,you just look at her. A stoic face of yours.
"why are you getting annoyed? It's not like he'll choose a fatty like you" you spoke in annoyance, already leaving the room. You never acted like this but today your mood wasn't calm as always. Your step mother glares at you, shouting something you didn't bothered to hear. You enter the meeting room,your father and everyone was already there,your sisters. You older sister wasn't a big fan of yours and she didn't really cared about what you do but your younger sister was way more worse than a bitch. Always ruining your day before it could even start. You walk to the couch and sit down there,a coffee table and another sofa across you where gojo is supposed to sit. You wait and wait.
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3h already has passed away and you were so done with this,maybe he won't come to meet you. Your no one to him anyway. Every elders in the room were annoyed now. Talking about how he wouldn't come to see an useless person like you,this marriage might be cancelled and more. Your insecurities grew even more. Another day another insecurity. You slump down slightly,head looking down at your lap. A frown on your face. Why do you always end up being a shame? You gulp,you eyes slightly getting blurry-
The door of the room slams open,a man with white hair comes in looking around. White bandage wrapped around his eyes, covering the blue ones you have heard of. Everyone was staring at him,your father perked up, already walking up to satoru "i hope you you didn't have any trouble coming here,take a seat across her plea-
"i don't listen to old farts and you should know that.." your father smile is tight lipped, eyebrows twitching. Satoru walks up to the couch and sits beside you,he was literally opposite of your expectations. Your eyes wide in surprise as you stare at him. You expected him to be like other but then well... he's the opposite.
Satorus head slightly tilted to the side as he observes you, scanning from head to toe. You gulp nervously. "Is that the girl i am going to marry" a cocky smile appears on his lips you look at him dumbfounded "y-yes" you mumble. He chuckles. Patting your head "you look like a statue..or a doll..maybee.." you frown slightly,he was way too much different..he goofy grin on his face. Your younger sister suddenly speaks, interrupting satoru
"you know mr gojo this is not really nice of you.. it'll be okay if you-"
"you look like brat" gojo cheekly laughs,a small one. Your sister's face scrunch in anger
"hey now your crossing the limits who do you-'
"oh nowadays kids are soo disrespectful awh" satoru sticks his tongue out, shrugging. You dumbly watch the drama as they continue to argue. Your step mom start to speak too
"you know your speaking too much with my daughter mr-"
"she's not your daughter and she's the one who started this" satoru shakes his head in disapproval. Before your mom could speak again you're father spoke up
"everyone you know we should give some time for y/n and gojo to have a conversation." You father forces a smile and drags your lil sister and step mom out of the room,you older sister following them with a ywan. In a minute the door was closed and you and satoru were left alone. You slump down with a sigh, feeling like you could breath then you remembered your not alone, straightening yourself as you flash him a small smile.
"tsk they're annoying" you just give him a small chuckle. Not knowing what to say
"why are you this quiet.." satoru trails off..you slightly tense up.
"actually.." sensing your discomfort he stopped you
"it's okay you don't have to tell..but.."
"but.." you stupidly continue with him and-
"why there's scars on your wrists" satoru asks. The smile falls off your face,you gulp..what were you going to answer?
"you did it don't you" he shakes his head with a bored pout.
"can we not.."
"okay i won't." Satoru laughed softly,brushing a strand of your hair, tucking it behind your ear. Your face slightly heats up,you look away blushing. Satoru just stared at you. Looking at your eyes, noticing the long lashes. Trailing to your nose and then your lips,a slight pout on them. You noticed it, looking at him slightly confused "is something on my face.."
"no" satoru just laughed softly. You wanted to ask him why did he agreed to this marriage. Is there something special in you. And so many. You just nod. The conversation was flowing. Him asking you questions and you. Somehow you don't know you felt slightly open to him. He was being kind to you. Talking about his interest in Digimon,and movies how he loved to teach his students. And more..satoru said he loves sweets. Especially mochi and kikufuku. You told him about your small interests, staying up at night to watch the night sky, reading books , watching tv when no one was around. You loved watching cartoons. You were slightly shy about it but satorus interest grew more. From how he's called the strongest ay first made you think he'll be like one of the strict asses but he was still just a man. Oh. Hours goes by and satoru finally had to go. He left you for today but left a wramth inside your chest. The whole night you don't sleep. Instead you stared at the night sky thinking about satoru. The was just as bright as a moon. One in a million..
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A/N ₊˚ʚ 🌱 : English isn't my first language sorry if i did any mistakes. + I tried my best and I'm not an professional writer:)
Taglist : @chilichopsticks @milolop @kuroosvow @bypanana @hoseokslefteyebrow @sorcerersseestars @ssetsuka @megumisthirdog @certainduckanchor and idk why i can't tag @deliciouslydeliciouspenguin :(
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uriekukistan · 7 months ago
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JJK 261 ANALYSIS: What happened, how, why Yuuta made the choice he did, and a discussion of tragedy & major themes of JJK
MAJOR spoilers below the cut so please read at your risk.
i wanted to dissect what happened a bit, and address a few points i saw floating around since the leaks dropped. of course, these are all my interpretations, so feel free to disagree, i just had a lot of thoughts floating around that i wanted to put out for discussion.
I. Gojo was never coming back
first of all, i don't know how you guys expected him to survive bisection. i said this earlier in the day as my justification for why i didn't think gojo was coming back, prior to leaks, and i don't think i can say it any better now.
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and this is just my interpretation of reverse curse technique, but if anything, yuuta in this chapter supports my theory. in the scene where he's on shoko's table and arata nitta says that he's used rct to keep the wounds from getting worse, but it might be too late for yuuta to recover. in that case, gojo wasn't coming back from being sliced in half. it's just not possible.
additionally, and this is another thing that i've said for a long time. he says right in episode 6 (i forgot the chapter) that his dream is to reset the jujutsu world raise up a generation of strong students that work together. that is why he became a teacher. this very clearly comes from his relationship with suguru, and it's one of gojo's clearest motivations from the beginning.
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the problem is, in order to achieve this, he has to die. so long as satoru gojo is alive, he will have to carry the burden of being the strongest alone. his students won't have to work together, because gojo will just take care of everything. this is already in the works, with how many people have come together to stand against sukuna. if gojo lived and defeated sukuna on his own, this wouldn't have happened, and bringing him back would, again, reduce the need for his students work together.
unfortunately, gojo has been doomed by the narrative from the start, and his primary goal as a character basically requires his death to be realized in its entirety.
II. They're not heroes, they're jujutsu sorcerers.
yeah, i'm stealing megumi's line because it's true. he literally said it twice for a reason, and then yuuta said a repackaged version of it in this chapter ("we're about to fight history's strongest jujutsu sorcerer. if we can win by throwing away our humanity, we shouldn't even be arguing about this").
trust, all the characters are well aware of the ethical issues with taking gojo's body after he's dead, both with what it means for gojo, and with what it means for yuuta. but this isn't a story about heroism, this isn't a story about the power of friendship. if it was, yuuji would have saved junpei all the way back at the beginning of the series. it was pretty clear from the start that this wasn't going to be the typical shounen manga like that.
in fact, expecting it to be is unrealistic. it's unrealistic in real life too, if i'm being so honest. everyone wants to think they'd take the moral high road in this type of situation, but the reality is, when you're fighting tooth and nail against an opponent that is fighting dirty, you have to fight dirty too if you want to win, and i think that's what yuuta is trying to point out in this chapter.
this happens in real life wars which im not gonna get into examples because i dont want to start that kind of discourse, but like...it's so great to be idealistic and hope that virtue will triumph simply because it is virtuous, but i think if you take a look around, you'll realize it's true that good people do not get what they deserve simply because they're good (that's so megumi of me to say...). or if you think of it like a board game, if a player is cheating, it is infinitely harder to win without cheating yourself.
maybe this is a bit pessimistic of me to say, but you will not win a dirty fight without getting dirty yourself, and i think it's pretty clear that sukuna fights dirty.
additionally, it's shitty to see gojo be weaponized, and i understand that, but it plays into the themes about strength in jjk, which i will get into.
III. This was not an "ass pull."
i don't really have much to say to this. did you think yuuta wouldn't take kenjaku's technique? plus, kenjaku being eaten by rika is probably the only surefire way to ensure that they're dead and won't just hop to another body. i've already said why gojo wouldn't come back, but it makes sense that if yuuta were to copy kenjaku's technique, who else would he body hop into, if not gojo? there's already narrative evidence to support this action, from the guidelines of yuuta's technique, kenjaku's technique, and gojo's technique, to the character of yuuta okkotsu, which i want to do an analysis in a separate post for him, so i won't get into that right now.
idk...to me, all the threads connect, plus i felt like yuuta's return was foreshadowed pretty heavily in 259 & 260, with the mention of yuuta's plan that yuuji couldn't know, and then on the last page of 260, the comparison of sukuna and yuuta, so for me, i always thought that it was not actually gojo, but yuuta at the end of 260.
IV. Themes of JJK: The burden of being "the strongest," or even just strong
even many jjk fans see gojo as "the strongest," and nothing more, doing exactly what the narrative sets up as one of the chief problems of jjk. a lot of gojo's actions are spurred on by the burden he feels from being the strongest modern sorcerer. his entire character is built around this problem of the responsibility and burden that falls on someone who's considered to be "the best" at anything.
in fact, this is also a driving point for geto too, and the conflicts geto and gojo come into with each other, as well as geto's inevitable fall from grace. it all comes from this issue that's at the core of jujutsu society. gojo recognizes that, and, as i mentioned, that is why he became a teacher. so that no young sorcerers will feel the burden of being the strongest alone.
the problem is this is easier said than done. after gojo dies, this burden gets passed down to yuuta, and he feels that immense pressure, which is why he decides to do what he does. he says "haven’t we been pushing the burden of being a monster onto gojo-sensei alone? if gojo-sensei is gone, then who else will be the monster? If no one intends to become one, then I will!" and i think this really powerful evidence of the pressure and burden of being the strongest, and i think the word monster is really important here. the burden pushes people to be something they're not, a shadow of their true self.
it distorts morality, like with geto. it isolates people, like with gojo. it forces people to go to unspeakable lengths to uphold their burden, like with yuuta. it leads people with immense power to doubt themselves, like with megumi. it leads people to feel like a cog in the machine, not a human, like with yuuji.
this is sooo so important and a key theme of jjk, and this chapter in particular, and the driving force behind yuuta's actions.
V. Themes in JJK: Loneliness and Isolation
this one has, in my opinion, a bigger role in the story overall than just in this chapter.
as i mentioned before, gojo is lonely. the only person who could understand him was geto, and he turned away from him, and then died. he seems like a silly guy or whatever, but it's just a mask.
but geto also felt alone and isolated, and that's why he turned away. between gojo and geto, neither of them were able to put share the burden of carrying their strength alone, and it's what kept them apart and made their relationship so tragic.
arguably, and though he would never admit it, sukuna is also lonely, though it's buried deep within him and something he will likely never acknowledge, despite it, and his lack of understanding of love (arguably a symptom of his loneliness), are major reasons for the way he acts.
yuuta, though supported by maki, inumaki, and panda in a way that the previously mentioned characters are not, is still isolated. he alone carries the burden of his strength. he was also alone his whole life after rika died, and then again when he was shipped off to africa, away from his friends (yeah he had miguel, maybe i'm missing something, but i dont see them having that type of relationship.
not only that, but yuuta recognizes gojo's loneliness, and reaches out to tell him not to try to stand by himself once again, and gojo admits that's something he can't do, the reason being his relationship with geto.
even further, yuuji and megumi, the parallel to satosugu, are both deeply lonely, except for when they have each other. i mentioned in this analysis that the reason megumi can't just get up and keep going is because he's alone and has been for over a month. i want to get into this more in my next point.
VI. Where I think (hope) this leads for JJK
a satisfying ending for jjk, in my opinion, would be the resolution to this loneliness and burden of strength issue that has been present throughout the narrative. something like yuuji being able to save megumi and them being able to correct what went wrong with satosugu in their own relationship.
personally would like to see satosugu reach the ending they should have had through the itafushi parallels - let them save each other! but i do know gege said only one of them (the trio + gojo) will die, or only one will live....that was years ago maybe he changed his mind :D
we all want to see yuuji take down sukuna himself, but i think it would be a great resolution to see everyone take down sukuna as a team. no one person is alone, no one person has the burden of the strongest. i know i said this wasn't a "power of friendship" manga, and i stand by that, but i think this would be the perfect ending. yuuta throws his humanity away to do what he did in 261 because he felt like it was the only choice and it was something he alone could do, but yuuji represents unwavering humanity (literally his name), and i think to preserve that, they all need to share that burden. let them realize they need each other.
this is what gojo died for, and this is what he lived for. this is why he became a teacher in the first place- to raise a generation that can be strong together, that can support one another.
VII. "It's poorly written torture porn!" "There's no point if there's no happy ending!" etc
i said this in a separate post but tragedies have existed in literature since the 6th century BCE, 2600 years ago. many of the most popular stories throughout history have been tragedies, for example, orpheus & eurydice, romeo & juliet, even things like the fault in our stars and the titanic movie. here's a quick explanation of what it means for a story to be a tragedy (yeah it's from wikipedia but they want me to pay to access the original source and im not doing that for a jjk analysis)
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one of things i like most about this definition is the use of the word "catharsis," which is to say that the expression of strong emotions is a way of bringing about renewal and relief. in literature, it's used to say that with the arousal and following release of negative emotions relieves suppressed emotions for the viewer. im not gonna get too personal with it, but i know i've experienced this with jjk.
additionally all of the aforementioned tragedies, they have a message, no matter how sad they are. orpheus & eurydice inspires perseverance and faith in the gods. even something like titanic has messages about everlasting love that overcomes all boundaries. jjk has its message too, and it's long underway. we just have to wait for it to reach its conclusion.
it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we only get one chapter a week, and the fact that the pain is so dragged out is a bit tiring, i'll admit. but that doesn't mean it's bad. having negative emotions stirred by a story doesn't mean bad writing. i mean, i would hope you feel sad. i would hope you feel angry. i would be concerned if you didn't. but given that jjk is a tragedy, that just indicates good writing. especially these last two chapters, i've felt moved in a way nothing else has done for me in a long time.
as always, these are just my thoughts!!! im happy to hear from anyone what they think :D
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bandgie · 1 year ago
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Beast of a Man
Smut!Tarzan
Synopsis: You were on an expedition with a team to investigate ape behavior. After setting off a booby-trap accidentally, it's not your team that finds you, but an ape-like man. Is he the missing link anthropologists have been looking for? You need to take him back to camp, and you're thinking of luring him in by more than one way.
A/N: I dont give a fuck if this movie is older than me this man is HOT no one talks about him and im SICK of it.
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You take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth. You were growing irritated. You were somewhere in West Africa sweating your balls off (if you had any) trying to follow where the shrewdness of apes went. They had a tendency to relocate to avoid predators, and they happened to the night you slept in.
You didn't bother asking your team to help you look. You all have been up doing your notes for your dissertation and you decided that they deserved some shut eye. You were tempted to ask the person who was guiding you through the jungles, but the language barrier made you decide not to. Too much work, but the apes couldn't have gone far right?
Since it was blazing, you decided to wear some white shorts and a tan button up shirt completed with a safari hat on top. You made sure your bag was packed with snacks and water before leaving. Of course, you also brought your hunting knife. You prayed it wouldn't be necessary to use, but being out in the open made you a prey to all sorts of things.
You started your journey, keeping close to the trail you were familiar with. You started East since that's where the sun rises, praying that they would be there. You weren't sure how long you walking for until you finally found a piece of ape hair. You gasp excitedly and bent down to grab it, you were getting close.
You wiped the sweat from your forearms and continued forward with new resolution. You were going to find the nest and since it's still early afternoon, you might even be able to see-
"Ahh!" you screamed. Something tightened around your foot and you went up in the air upside, hitting your head on the ground in the process. A pained groan left your lips as you opened your eyes. You were hanging upside down by one of your ankles.
"Aw shit..." you cursed, looking up to see your foot tangled in...vine? Your eyebrows furrowed, wouldn't it have been better to use rope? Maybe your team put this here as a trap, or maybe it was the locals to catch some animals. You felt stupid as you reached upwards to grab your foot and get yourself loose.
Which was much harder than you initially thought. It was too far for you too reach and when you did manage to grasp your ankle, pain would surge from your lower back to your neck as you continued to awkwardly bend your body. Your head was pounding, blood drumming your ears before you finally gave up. They'll find you, you just have to be patient.
"HELP!" You yelled, voice echoing in the trees. You started calling your team by names, then last names. You felt your eyes water in frustration, thinking about how stupid you were to travel alone.
Granted you couldn't be that far from the trail, maybe 6 miles. But you don't know how much longer you could stand being upside down. Then it hit you, your knife! A sound of relief escaped you as your reached behind your back to grab your knife. Only your bag wasn't there. It must've flown off when you were thrusted into the air because it was 20 feet away from you on the ground.
Now you were going to really cry. No, that won't help, you think, I just need to keep yelling, but should you? Here you are alone in the jungle, making all these noises. What if you attract a predator. The thought makes you stop.
You take deep breaths as a way to keep your cool. You'll be fine, they'll find you, you just need to wa- a crunch distracts your thoughts. Your eyes try to find from where the sound came from, turning your head frantically around.
"Hello?" You call, gentle. You're not sure if it's your people, but from the lack of response you doubt it is. The crunching gets faster and louder, you hold your breath in and prepare for an animals to jump our and devour you.
Instead, a man emerges from bushes, a naked man. Almost naked, save for the piece of cloth that wraps around his waist. You narrow your eyes, unable to comprehend what you're seeing. He doesn't look like he natives that live here. The main thing to give it away is the way he walks, or more like knuckle-walking. He scoots closer to your, eyes intensely staring at you. He quadrupedaly walks to you, and you scream.
He wildly moves back, hooting as a response. You thrash around, fear bubbling in your stomach. "No! Fuck off! Go away!"
He knuckle-walks around you, inspecting to see if you're an actual threat. You're not of course, you're tied and on the verge of fainting from being upside for so long. It doesn't take long for the ape-man to realize it and come within 3 inches of your face. You stop moving and stare into his eyes. He's actually... beautiful. Looking past the dirt on his body and his tangled hair, he had a strong jaw and a large nose with a bump at the bridge. He had high cheekbones, thick eyebrows, and deep eyes. Not to mention he was staring at you in the same way, only 100x more intense. He was looking at you like you're the only woman he's ever seen, maybe the only person he's ever seen period.
His hand reaches to touch your face, his fingers gently play with your features. Starting with the nose, eyes, eyelashes, ears, then your lips. He touches his own afterwards as if comparing them. He grunts to himself as if he's talking outloud.
His hands get more explosive, moving to your neck. His hands keep traveling until they feel your breasts, he stops. He feels his own chest and a look of confusion crosses his face. When he goes back to feel your body, you thrash.
"No!"
Your stern voice makes him take a step back, but he knows you're not a real threat. He moves back to his original place and touches your top, playing with the buttons. Sweat starts to drips off your neck to the ground, you don't know how much longer you can stand this position.
His hands discover that you can unbutton these little circles, and that's exactly was he does. He doesn't even notice the bra that holds your tits, his focus completely on the shirt. When he does, his hands take no shame in touching some more.
His touch is so gentle that you instinctively puff your chest closer to him. His fingertips travel from one breast to the other, not knowing your bra can also come off.
Wait, why are you thinking about him taking off your bra? You don't know this man, if he even is a man. But the way he touches you is addicting. You love the softness of it, how he touches you as if you're the most fragile thing on this Earth.
You gently use your hands to grasp his, he jumps at the contact and look back at your eyes. You guide him to the inside of your bra, having your tits spill out. His eyes widen is surprise, as if he's never seen such a complicated contraption. He looks at his chest quickly and back at yours. He starts grabbing them and kneading them, enjoying the softness you have.
He grunts in what seems like approval. He sees you nipples harden from his touches and he pinches them. You moan in response, though you think you're just groaning from pain. You're going to blame your behavior on the lack of blood supply in your brain, but right now the dampness in your underwear is more important.
You use your hands to take off the rest of your shirt and bra, completely topless to him. This man was so entranced by your body that you have to use your hands to make him look at your face. You point to the vine that has you hostage.
"Help me down, and I'll help you," you don't even know if he can understand you, but he must because he climbs a nearby tree and loosens the knot. You fall with a thud and groan, finally feeling the extra blood leave your head.
The man climbs on top of you and looks into your eyes as if he's asking something. You nod, already knowing what he wants. You guide the back of his head back to your tits and he gratefully pops a nipple in his mouth. His hands are on either side of you, possessively keeping you under him. Your hands tangle in his hair and he continues to suck.
You hum and squeeze your legs together, wetness gathering between your legs. He releases your boob with the small pop! and goes to the other side, letting his tongue roll over your nipple. You use your hand to grab his, placing it on your other boob. He gets the message and starts massaging your boob while keeping the other in his mouth.
You moan and grind your body against his, trying to get some friction. The need in your pussy is almost unbearable, you want it to to touched, paid attention to, but you hold back. You don't want to make a decision you would regret, but you're not sure if anything you're doing is helping with that.
He suddenly stops, a whine leaving your lips when he does. He closes his eyes and inhales, looking all over your body. His smells different parts of your body, shoving his nose between your breasts.
"What?" You ask, suddenly self-conscious. The beast of a man travels down you stomach, down your navel, occasionally sticking his tongue out to taste you. Then he stops at your shorts, eyes looking into yours.
He puts his attention back onto your clothes, attempting to take them off himself. He sees the familiar button on the top of your shorts and decides he should start there. You're amazed at his intelligence. He may not be verbal, but he has amazing innovative and cognitive ability.
Your thoughts are pulled away as he manages to do the same to your shorts. He tugs them all the way down to you ankles and stares at the spot he's been aching to devour. You know you must not have the best taste considering how much you were sweating but 30 minutes prior, but this man couldn't care less. He leaned down to your core and took a deep breath, groaning as he did. His hands gripped your thighs and he squeezed them. You whimpered at his touch, opening your legs to give him better access to your pussy.
You were soaking, you could feel you essence dripping down to your body and the way you're underwear felt cold against the wind. The ape-man went it, licking your wetness and widening your legs even more. He bent your legs forwards, folding your back so you knees were almost touching your face.
You squealed at the movement never being in this position. It was pretty uncomfortable, but the way his hands held your legs by your under thighs made your stomach coil in anticipation. He used his tongue more than anything, not knowing that he could so much more.
He used his muscle to collect the remaining drool your pussy produced, trying to find the source. He was beginning to get irritated, but little did he know that your underwear was covering his desire. A part of you loved watching him struggle, but the need for him directly on you was stronger. You reached your arms around your hips and moved your underwear to the side, using your thumb to rub yourself in circles.
You tapped your pussy, making sure it made wet noises to get his attention. "Here, do it here."
The man stopped for a second, bewitched by the sight of your dripping folds and pulsing pussy. He had never seen anything like it, like a rare cuisine he was lucky enough to stumble upon. He experimentally stuck his tongue out to taste you. You hummed in satisfaction and used your fingers to spread yourself. He let your taste settle on his tastebuds, licking his lips hungrily as he decided that this was the best meal he was ever going to have.
He pushed your legs further back and buried his face into you. You moaned as his tongue shot out all over your pussy, smearing both of you juices all around. The ape man moved his face up and down against you, his large nose occasionally touching the bud of your clit.
You squirmed when he did and he noticed your behavior. He moved his tongue up to flick your bundle of nerves and you jolted. An intrigued smile found his lips as he continued his movements. It was too much, you were too sensitive and you instinctively yanked on his hair to pull him away.
You moaned in relief, but the man above you was anything but. He grabbed your hands held them down to your sides, using his chest and face to keep you in your bent position. As if to show you that he wasn't happy with your action, he ate you out brutally. He used his teeth to gently scape against your clitoris, a move he shortly found out gave him the best response.
"No no it's too much! Stop im sorry im sorry!" You cry. You pleas fell on deaf ears. He sucked hard on your bud, stretching it as he pulled away. A loud cry left out lips and he finally stopped to look at you. Your legs were shaking, sweat all over your body, back aching, and tears falling.
He gently let your legs fall so you were flat on the ground. A small sob and thank you left you as your legs closed together. The man closely looked at your face and licked your tears away, an apology. His hands soothingly went through your hair with a look of slight worry on his face.
He had such an intense gaze, you thought he would kiss you if he knew how. You sat up and put your hands on his chest, having him lay on the ground this time. Your eyes found the tent that formed in his patch of cloth. You smiled and had your hands explore his chest. He eyes you warily, not used to being under anyone or anything.
A devious smile played on your lips as you leaned down and kissed his ear, "My turn."
You sat back up and scooted down so you could place yourself between his legs, eagerly lifting off his little wrap so you could see his glory. Your eyes widened at his cock. He was so thick, veins wrapping around his length. The tip was a pretty pink, a sharp contrast to his tanned dick. You felt you mouth salivate at him and you leaned down to place a kiss on his tip.
He groaned, thrusting his hips up to feel you more. You playfully tsked and shook your head, "So impatient."
You got on all fours to be face-to-face with him, hands playing his thighs. You kissed over his pelvis, his bush, his inner thighs, anywhere besides the one place where he wanted you most. His hands went outwards besides him to grasp onto the ground beneath him. You could tell from the way he was straining and groaning, he was holding back from grasping your head. You blushed at his consideration, he's kind of a gentleman.
You decide to thank him by finally taking him into your mouth, making sure your tongue covers his slit and slowly bobbing your head up and down. He thanks you by whining, a sound that's going to forever imprint in your brain. You use one hand to keep on his stomach and the other to wrap around his shaft. You worked in one fluid motion, tasting his salty pre-cum and feeling you spit dribble out of your mouth onto your hand.
You really wanted to test your limits to see how far you could take him, but know with his girth that would be difficult. You still decided to try anyway, moving your hand to play with his balls and pulling your mouth out. He huffed in protest and looked up at you, eyes hazy.
You made sure to gather enough spit and drool over his cock. You relaxed your jaw and went back in. You took a deep breath through your nose and keep sliding down. You gagged when his tip hit you throat, but he still more than halfway to go. You closed your eyes and willed your head forward, mouth opening almost painfully.
Your pussy throbbed in excitement, imagining that it was getting stretched out instead of your mouth. The man beneath you broke, hands grasping the sides of your head and shoving you down. You violently gagged around him, eyes pooling with tears. Your nose tickled his bushy pelvis. You looked up at him to plead to let you go, but seeing your begging eyes and cock covered mouth did the opposite to him. He used your mouth as a cock sleeve, harshly dragging your lips up and down his length.
Your hands gripped his thighs, he was going so hard and fast you started thinking you were going to throw up. You eyes rolled to the back of your head you felt your pussy drip down your thighs. You've never been used by this, and you never wanted it to stop. You could probably just cum from giving him head, but your need for air was starting to get the better of you.
It took both of your hands to rip away one of his before you finally popped your mouth off his dick, gasping and coughing for air. The ape-man sat up, finally recognizing that you were on the verge of passing out. He brushed the air out your face and cradled your face into his hands. He watched as you steadied your breath, holding you close to him.
Never had a man treated you with such care and such disregard at the same time, it went straight to your aching core. You adjusted so you were straddling his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He wasn't sure what you were doing, but when he felt your folds grind against his cock he knew what you wanted.
You grabbed the base of cock, moved your underwear to the side, and smeared hit tip over your clit. Both of you hummed in unison, his grip tightening on your hips. You moved your legs so you were in a squatting position, preparing yourself to take him in.
He patiently waited as you dipped the tip of dick cock into your pussy, shivers enveloping your body. His face twisted in unfamiliar pleasure, teeth gritting. You put more of your weight on him, sinking more and more onto his cock before you finally felt him fully in your gut. Your eyes rolled back placed your head in the crook of his neck breathless. Once you adjusted, you softly bounced on him, feeling his teeth and tongue get a feel of you exposed neck and ear. He growled approvingly once you started moving more aggressively.
One of his large hands went into your scalp, yanking your hair back to bare your throat at him. A part of you grew scared, but the way he was drooling out of the corner of his lip made you bounce with more determination. He bit the base of your throat making you cry out, then licked it apologetically. He didn't know that his nips at your neck distracted you, so when you slowed your movements down he grew upset. Taking matter into his own hands, he grabbed your ass and slammed you down hard.
You yelped, picking your head up as you looked into his eyes. He has a certain glaze over his eyes, as if he wasn't really looking at you. You leaned back to show a better view of where your bodies connected, his eyes immediately went there.
This must've been some encouragement for him because he started thrusting upwards too. The pleasure was too much, twisting your gut and providing a fiery sensation in your stomach. You whimpered and wrapped your arms around his neck for better support. You let him abuse your pussy, not caring about how he ripped your underwear off to properly see himself pound into you.
"Fuuuuuck," you moaned, "you feel so good." He had no reaction to your words, but you didn't care. He was going to bruise your hips form how hard he was holding you, but you were so close to finishing that none of that mattered.
You used one of your hands to rub your clit, attempting to finish faster. Your whines got louder and more frequent, he did the same. You tried not being loud, but you almost screamed when you came. He felt the way your walls squeezed around him and how your juices flowed out. He watched as your body nearly went limp, putting all your weight against him.
He took his opportunity to slam his cock all the way down into you until you could feel him kiss your cervix. You don't know if the noises you were making could count as moaning, but he frankly couldn't give less of a shit.
Finally, you felt the sweet warmth of his orgasm filling you up. You squeezed around him again and he moaned, wrapping his arms around your torso to make sure you didn't move from him. He couldn't stop leaking inside you as you felt some of it dribble out and possible drip down his balls.
You could tell he didn't want to pull out, satisfied with letting his cock soften between your legs. The thought to let it happen was tempting, but you already let a strange man fuck and cum inside you. There had to be some morals left.
You lifted your head up from his neck and pushed away from him. He huffed in defiance, content with his current position. You untangled yourself form him and wobbled upwards, standing. He slowly got up and looked around as if he was looking for something. Then he crawled over to your torn underwear, grabbing and putting it up to his face. You laughed as he took a deep breath, inhaling your scent like he couldn't get enough.
Once you had your top on, you walked over to him and stuck your hand out for him to give it back. Rather than obeying he growled, not threateningly, but rather in resistance. You sighed and decided going comando would be your only option.
Then an idea popped into you mind. It would be such a waste to leave a man here who seemed to listen to almost your every word. Who you could mold into the perfect fuck. Plus, you needed to study apes anyway and he seemed like the perfect willing participant.
You squatted down to his level and gently ran your fingers through his long, tangled hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. Oh yeah, you think, a perfect candidate.
You gently tapped the underwear in his hands and his eyes shot back open into yours. "Ya know," you started, "I have more of those back at camp. Wanna see?"
a/n: part 2 here
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httpisaoki · 9 months ago
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model! ningning x stylist! reader
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(part of the billionaire! aespa series)
-> short drabble thingy cuz VERSACE NINGNING SAVE ME?!
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you had been her stylist for quite a while now, taking care of her outfits and styling her the way any model could dream for. now, in ning's flirty and confident nature, it wasn't wrong to flirt a little right?
people would notice the look of pure happiness on her face whenever she saw you, hell, even you noticed. maybe she did have a tiny feeling that you were attractive, in her eyes, you were perfect. you had a good reputation, known for your impressive styling, being a former model yourself, you had taught ningning the basics when she was just starting. once she realizes her feelings, she would be in denial. i mean, no one could even reach her standards-- but how did you manage to get her flustered?
after pfw 2024, where she had walked the runway, she came back into the styling room with steam practically over her head. you wondered what got her so stressed, her eyes cold and angry. her mutters of, "That asshole shouldn't have said that," and multiple curses followed by a name, hyunjin. it amused you to think what could have hyunjin, one of her many persistent admirers in the industry, done to make her so upset. As she ranted in a fit of rage, completely forgetting she had an interview in less than 20 minutes, you stood there listening to every word, every emphasis on her anger towards the man. "ningning, deal with him later, okay? I need to get you dressed." you softly said, rubbing her wrist with your thumb as a sign of assurance. in a matter of seconds, her gaze turned soft, almost forgetting why was she so angry.
it was what she liked about you, your calmness, how you managed to make her laugh even if you only saw her for short times.
she nodded, embarrassment in her eyes as she realized that she had been rambling. "yeah, sorry about that." she muttered, a sheepish smile on her lips.
you gave her a look of amusement, chuckling at the sight. seeing her sheepish smile was adorable, and the fact that she had so much trust in you, was better. "it's alright, you just focus on your interview." you softly replied, patting her shoulder.
while you were getting her outfit together, you took the chance to ask her, "so what exactly did hyunjin do that got your blood boiling like that?"
she took a moment to gather her thoughts, before finally answering. "he's just… really annoying, you know? he keeps insisting that I should go out with him, but I keep refusing him. it's getting to the point where he's acting like we're dating to the press,"
she groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration. not only was hyunjin one of those persistent suitors, he was getting aggressive with his flirting, which had her blood boiling, and she just needed some way to release it.
you couldn't help but to feel pity for her, hyunjin was a known playboy, and she was clearly tired of him and his antics. the fact he was going so far, just to get the attention of one of the industries most well-known models, was funny.
it was getting him nowhere, and that was a good thing. "why won't he stop? does he really think this is going to get the attention of a girl as famous as you?" you asked with a laugh, trying to lighten the tension a bit.
"he really thinks he has a chance," she replied with a scoff, "he said he's going to take me out on a date after today, and when I said no, he said that the public deserves to know our 'date'." she rolled her eyes, her cheeks slightly flushed in annoyance. "he thinks I'm his girlfriend when I've already told him no multiple times. I just… I really dont know what he's thinking."
you hummed, scoffing at his ego. "I know it must be hard, but you do know that you can always report him to your agency and whatnot?" you give her a comforting smile, leaning closer to your lips before adding some blush onto her face. "he may think that he's all that but it's extremely annoying that he thinks that you'd actually like him." you rolled my eyes, fury in my eyes, making her chuckle.
her lips curved into a smile, she didn't expect you to be so protective over her, not when she was the model and you were the stylist. the fact he was so persistent, and how he had the audacity to call her his girlfriend infuriated her, especially when you were the one styling and taking care of her.
her gaze fell onto your lips, taking a moment to admire them before looking away. in that moment, all those times you helped her were all that kept rushing in her mind. she didn't expect to get infatuated with her stylist, but there she was.
as she stared down, her thoughts became interrupted as she suddenly felt her cheeks burning hot, realizing you had put blush on her. she gave a small giggle, trying to act like she was fine and normal, like you weren't noticing how attractive she was finding you. her heart was pounding as, out of nowhere, a spark of curiosity sparked in her mind. "c-can I tell you something..?" she murmured slowly.
"yes? of course," your reply was quick, wanting to know what she had to say. it may have been her first time asking you permission to say something, and you couldn't help but to feel your heart skip a beat. you could feel heat rise in your cheeks, making it slightly hard to hide a smile. you waited patiently for her to speak.
she paused, taking a moment to really think of how she wanted to say this. her eyes glanced to the side, her cheeks flushing as her heart raced. "what if i told you that i had a confession.." she spoke softly, the words catching in her throat as she struggled to get them out. she couldn't believe she was actually going to confess, especially after months of just ignoring her feelings. her heart was beating out of her chest, all while her mind screamed at her to do it, say it.
ningning hesitates, not sure on what to say, which in her point of view, was getting ridiculous because why was she so nervous? she breaks the silence with a sigh, a slight pause before finally saying:
"what if i told you that i liked you?"
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l1ndseyper3z · 10 months ago
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I really don't know wether I like him or hate him
I AM SO SORRY THIS IS ACTUALLY DISGUSTING THE FILTH IS FILTHING PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION I DONT KNOW WHY I DID THIS
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DATING MARK HOFFMAN HEADCANNONS
[SFW & NSFW] [F!READER]
warnings: Mark being Mark, daddy kink, bondage, age gap (both over 18), praise, degrading, gunplay, public sex, thigh riding, cock-warming, cumming inside, p in v penetrator, eating pussy, sucking cock, petplay, bootlicking, boot grinding, thigh riding, choking, sir kink, master kink, spanking, strong language
you are responsible for your own media consumption. minors dni.
SFW
master of PDA and physical touch
he needs everyone to know that you are his and NOBODY is allowed to even glance at you the wrong way.
if anybody even looks at you for slightly too long he perfectly flexes to expose the gun on his hip
if you're younger than him (which chances are, you are cause idk he gives off younger gf vibes) he is so protective
it does get a bit much sometimes but with the knowledge of his sister you can't exactly blame him
he always plays with ur hair
it grounds both you and him
he has to be big spoon
he likes having control and being able to keep you safe
100% teaches you self-defense
with the shit he sees (and does) he wants you to be able to protect yourself when he's not around
worries that jigsaw will test you
even though you've done nothing to deserve that because you're an absolute angel in his eyes
defo that boyf that follows you around stores carrying all ur bags and clothes
always kissing ur neck and hugging ur waist
he took quite a while to get used to you and begin to trust you because of his sister
will watch all ur fav movies and shows with you but complain the whole time (even tho he's secretly enjoying it)
pet names for you 100% consist of baby doll, baby girl, my girl, my girl, darling and sweet girl
he's so sassy for no reason whatsoever (name a saw dude who isn't???)
can be a bit cruel sometimes
and his ego gets in the way of apologising
when he realises he's fucked up he'll buy you flowers or something
he isn't great with his words so prefers to let his actions speak louder
he tries to like the music you like
if you tell him you relate to a song he'll figure out what it means and read through the lyrics to try and understand you better
THIGH GRIPPER
he so caresses your thighs when he's driving
half the time he dosent even realise he's doing it, it just happens
cooks for you
he so puts his hands in your back pockets
he just does
NSFW
100% gets bricked when you wear his clothes
ROUGH DOM
makes you beg to cum
uses vibrators on you as punishment
call him daddy in bed
just do it
it awakens something in him
will tie you up and use handcuffs on you
edges you
overstimulates you
has made you suck on his gun
or fucked you with his gun
absolute master of sucking pussy
chokes you when you aren't behaving
icl he is quite selfish when it comes to sex
wants you to suck him off all the time
ESPECIALLY IN HIS OFFICE AT WORK
He just loves looking down at your little pathetic tear and spit coated face as you suck on his big fat cock
King of praise and degradation
"look at my pretty little whore, sucking daddys cock so well"
"spread your legs slut"
so forces you to warm his cock when you've been a bad girl
and makes you ride his thigh when you're being a desperate slut
always cums inside you
he's not very vocal but you can get the occasional groan or curse out of him
lasts scarily long
will have sex anywhere, anytime
he has such a high sex drive
why do I get the vibe he has made you grind on his boot before
gags.
collars.
he's a kinky bitch and is probs into petplay of some form
"pups don't talk. now, if you lick daddys shoes clean he might just fuck your desperate little pussy"
just wants to see you panting on your knees below him as you obey his every command
will fuck your little pussy like there's no tomorrow
"good puppy, taking it so well for daddy"
will bend you over his knee and spank you as a punishment
and make you count aloud
and thank him
"now, bratty girls have to be punished, count out loud and be sure to thank master for teaching you how to behave"
"pup, I can't quite hear you, should sir up it to 25 spanks?"
his aftercare is okay
cuddles, water and maybe a shower but thats pretty much it
I'm sorry this turned out to be utter filth 😭
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personasintro · 4 months ago
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i know mentioming kiko triggers most of the readers but i think yall should grow tf up like shes my roman empire and i think about her a lot u know 😔😔 when this chapter, where she told jungkook the truth, came out i hated her just like others and i was like "shes so evil like how can she do this to jungkook". but as time passed i just realized that shes the realest character because if i were in the same situation i might have done the same thing(?) Like i dont know exactly what id do but because of fear i couldve done the same so i cant really judge her. like we all know having a child is a big responsibility and she was scared and of course she wasnt ready for this and obviously its her body and her choice and she did whatever she thought was good for her. I think throwing a mud at her and criticising her is too much because she suffered enough already and i truly dont understand why do yall hate this woman so much?? I mean yeah she shouldve told jungkook everything because jungkook really deserved to know and we all knkw he would understand her and her choice but she was scared and not ready. Like we cant even imagine the pain she was going through because as i mentioned before having a kid is a big responsibility and she was the one who had to carry the baby for 9 months and give birth and everything and she was not ready. like yeah jungkook would be on her side but so what?? his support would be a great help but mothers still have to go through pain, fear, uncertainty and so many emotions and i think men would never get this (im sorry, i know jungkooks an amazing man but he still wouldnt get it okay???) and i trully feel sorry for her and of course the way she handled the situation was so wrong and i do not support her for that, for example, for lying to jungkook, breaking up with him without telling him everything, then lying to him that she cheated 😭😭like she was so stupid for that and she made him suffer so much like imagine u told him u cheated on him and he still wanted to give u a second chance,even though he was in so much pain??? like i understand him and yes he deserved to know everything and she was so wrong for getting back to him and still makkng him believe she cheated but I feel so sorry for both of them and i really understand kiko and her fears and im her apologist because everyone makes mistakes and obviously she wasnt a perfect person. I hope she will be happy in the future because she dont deserve all this pain.
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! we've had quite a lot conversations about her character and to be honest, she might be one of my favorite characters i've ever written. not because I love her or anything, but because she's so interesting to me. and i've said this before many times, but i guess people perceive things differently based on the point of view which is completely understandable – if the story was about them, kiko being y/n – some opinions and reactions might've been different. i do believe there would be many opinions of what she did and it being not right, but i guess readers would show more mercy with the way of how they talk about her character or they would definitely not use so many curse words ahaaha
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littlexscarletxwitch · 5 months ago
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Hiiii i have a request, but dont know if you want to do it.
Flo X reader
Flo and reader have been dating for a while. They have a happy healthy relationship. Reader is getting more famous (dj, traveling the world) and thats hard on their relationship. Flo gets jealous because reader gets alot of female attention and don’t know how to tell reader this bothers her. Also because they dont gave the time for eachother. This takes a toll on their relationship. After some time they decide to break up because they feel like they don’t give each other the time they deserve.
Maybe a year after they “move on” but after seeing each other again, feelings resurface. You can decide the ending
── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸
paring: florence pugh x fem!reader
tag(s): a bit of fluff, mostly angst, flo and r break up, i almost made myself cry, a little bit of possessive flo but we love her
warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited, not proofread
word count: 2.9k
note: I looooove how this one turned out, I had so much writing this nonnie. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it and I hope you like it, I tried my best lol. Also, she's looong, I love that xd. Also just as I was finishing it I realised you said a year later, well oops, but sometimes 6 months can feel like a whole year. Lots of love M <3
requests are open! + check my rules + masterlist <3
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“Guess what?” you popped your head into your and Florence’s shared bedroom.
“What’s up?” she asked, her eyes not leaving the script she was reading. 
“I’ve got you tickets for tonight’s show. VIP for you, Ashley, Toby, Theo, whoever you want,” you said, smiling. 
She finally looked up at you, she saw the brightness in your eyes that she just couldn’t say no nor she wanted to. “That’s great, baby! Thank you,” she said, blowing you a kiss. 
“Yeah, I thought you would like to come since it’s my last show here and then the tour starts,” you said, making your way to the bed and lying next to her.
Florence mentally cursed herself, she was so caught up with her work that she had totally forgotten that you would be touring for the next six months. She felt sick to her stomach knowing you would be that long away from her, but it was your job after all. Being the most recent popular DJ opened up more doors to you, and that included a full world tour. She couldn't be prouder for you, but she also hated to be so far away from you for so long. Still, she plastered a smile on her face for your sake.
“Yeah, I would love nothing more. We will be there, of course,” she said as she pecked your lips.
[...]
With a drink on her hand, Florence was swaying her hips to the rhythm, her eyes fixed on you even from the VIP sector. She had a smile on her face until a girl showed up next to you, and she couldn't help the smile turning into a frown. 
She was well aware of the attention sometimes you would get, especially from other girls, it was no news to her. But that brunette smiling at you was getting on her last nerve.
“Come on, Flo! You love this song,” Theo, Florence’s friend, tried to get her to dance again.
As she looked back at her friend she realised you had played her favourite song, well it was actually a remix of it, a remix you had made specifically for her. She smiled at the thought of you thinking of her, so her eyes settled back on you and much to her annoyance that brunette was still there, now practically grinding on you. She wasn’t having anymore of that
Florence drank the last bit of the glass before muttering ‘I’ll be right back’ to her friends. She made her way toward you, determination written all over her face. 
“Oh, hey!” you said as you watched her from the corner of your eyes. Florence could tell you were having fun playing your songs but she could also see how tense up your shoulders were, how awkward the brunette was making you. 
“Hi,” she said in a low voice as she grabbed your chin, making you face her and smashed her lips against yours. 
You smiled through the kiss as you heard the crowd in front of you cheering, but unaware that Florence sent a death glare to the brunette while roughly and possessively kissing you. She pushed her tongue inside of your mouth, her eyes glued to the brunette as she watched her face shift into awkwardness. 
You backed away from her, pecking her lips one more time before getting back to your console to keep the party going. Florence decided to not leave your side for the rest of the night, she had to make sure to keep what was her untouched from other people. So she spent the rest of the night grinding on you, stealing kisses from time to time and sending death glare to whoever girl got too close to you.
As she swayed her hips, the thought of you alone in different parts of the world unprotected from other prying eyes upset her, she tried her best to push those thoughts away. She had tonight to make sure everyone knew you were taken and she was going to make sure of it. 
[...]
You felt on the top of the highest mountain, three shows in a week, twice a month all over Europe, Asia, and America. You felt like it couldn't get any better, but night after night the people attending would prove you wrong, making each night unique and memorable.
One of the best parts of your job was that you got to party as much as the people in your shows, you had fun along with them, a dream come true really.
After every show you would call Florence and tell her all about it, the atmosphere, the loud cheering, the dancing, the people you met. The first few weeks she had a smile on her face as she listened to you over the phone, but her smile got bitter as she would see the pictures you would post the next day. 
At first she was happy that you were having the time of your life, but that happiness turned into a dark feeling once she saw all the girls all over you. She tried her best to ignore it, expecting you to ease her mind but you never brought the topic up, not even just to reassure her that those girls were nothing.
Truth be told, you didn’t even realise they were hanging out too close to you night after night as you were too caught in doing your job. It was nothing to you, they weren't Florence. You didn’t even look at them, just when your agent would show you the pictures that were going to be posted. 
But Florence couldn’t take it anymore as she saw the last picture you posted and a girl was kissing your cheek, that was the last straw.
“Hi, baby,” you yawned as you picked up her call, too tired after another successful show. “I was just about to call you.”
“Hey,” she could hear the smile on your face and she instantly felt guilty for having thought to scream at you. 
“I just wrapped up in Spain, Barcelona was epic really, we should come here sometime.”
“Yeah?” she sniffed, her emotions being all over the place. Not just jealousy and the anger toward those women, but missing you was taking a toll on her. “If you think so, then we must,” she felt tears burning her eyes. 
“Flor, are you okay?” she heard as you shifted on the other side of the phone, worried in your tone. “You sound upset.”
“I just—,” she sniffed again, she was about to tell you everything, how she felt, the doubt going through her mind. But she just couldn’t. “When are you coming back?” she cleared her throat. 
“Well, it’s been three months, so three months left,” you chuckled, trying to ease the tension. “We are wrapping up in Europe, five more shows I believe and then—.”
“Y/n, I don’t think I can do this,” she cut you off abruptly. 
Your heart dropped, she didn’t mean that, right?
“Do what, my love?” you played dumb, not wanting to hear her next words. 
“Whatever this is,” tears were rolling down her cheeks, but her voice didn’t tremble.
“‘Whatever this is?’ You think this is whatever?” you wanted to be angry at her, but really all you felt was sadness and rejection. You loved her, she loved you. This was not whatever. 
“Long distance just isn't doing it for me,” she just replied, as if you and her hadn’t been dating for almost two and a half years.
“Isn’t doing it for you,” you scoffed. “Really? I’m working, Florence. This is my job. I’m not on sabbatical, okay? I thought you were proud… I thought you were happy about me, world touring is a big thing.”
“I know, Y/n. I–.” 
What am I doing? Florence thought. 
“No,” you cut her off. “You’re not being fair, you are—.”
“I’m not being fair?” you could sense the anger in her voice now. “You left, okay? What did you expect me to do? That I was just going to wait for you at the front door like a puppy?” she finally snapped.
“Not like a puppy, but I thought I meant more… I thought you…” you sniffed. “I guess I was just wrong.”
“I guess we both were,” she said, then silence followed. 
You took a deep breath, pushing back the tears and swallowing the lump on your throat. 
“So this is it,” you waited for her to deny your words, you wanted her to. 
“Yeah, this is it,” she said instead, her angry and irrational self talking. 
You bit down your bottom lip as hard as you could to stop the whimper that threatened to escape your lips. 
“Okay, I… um,” you sniffed. “I’ll text someone to go pick up my things. Not that I have much there anyway…
“Y/n—” she tried, but the damage was already done. 
“Goodbye, Flor,” you said, the nickname finally shattering Florence’s heart into a million pieces.
“Y/n?” she tried again, sobbing, but all she heard was the dead line on the other side. 
[...]
Was it masochist of you to watch your ex’s new movie after having broken up six months ago? Yes, most likely yes.
You told yourself that it was just a coincidence, but you won’t lie to yourself, you knew exactly what you were doing when you decided to play that film.
You weren’t sure how you felt about her, you thought you had moved on from your relationship, that you grieved it and now you were at peace with it. But watching her on the screen, watching her smile, laugh, sure she was playing a character but the resemblance to the real Florence, the Florence you knew was there. 
You huffed in annoyance at yourself as the credits played on the screen. It was enough self pity for a day, you decided to go out and have a coffee, trying your best to get your mind off of your ex and her pretty smile. 
Your legs took you to your usual coffee place without much thought. It was a route you knew by heart, it was the coffee place that was closest to your apartment, and it was also the one you and Florence would usually go to. You dryly laughed at yourself as you opened up the door, could you be any more masochist?
You took your time looking at the menu, even though it was pointless since you always order the same thing. 
“Hello, what can I get for you?” the cute waitress smiled at you. 
“Hi, can I get a black coffee and an avocado toast to go please?” you returned the smile. 
“Sure thing!” Wendy, as it read on her tag name, said. 
You moved aside, waiting for your order as Wendy took new orders from the other clients. “Hi! Can I get a black tea with oat milk and two chocolate cookies to go, please?” you heard someone say to Wendy. 
A sad smile formed on your lips as you remembered that was Florence’s order. But it was silly really to think about her, most brits order tea and you were living in London after all.
“There you go,” the person said once again, probably handling Wendy the money. 
A shiver went up your spine as the stranger’s voice echoed in your mind. That raspy low voice, it sounded so similar to one you used to hear every morning, the one that sent shivers down your spine and caused butterflies in your stomach when it whispered in your ear. You shook your head, pushing away all thoughts related to Florence. 
It cannot be her, Y/n. You told yourself. She is not fucking here. Florence is…
“Y/n?” that sweet raspy low voice asked. 
Painfully slowly you turned around to face her, afraid and excited to meet her eyes. Those soft green eyes you so loved, those gentle green eyes that used to look at you with adoration, those green eyes whose owner broke your heart.
“Hi,” you almost whispered. 
“Hey,” you noticed the corner of her lips slightly pulling upwards.
You weren’t sure what to do next and neither did Florence since her lips gaped like a fish out of water. 
“I… I have to go,” you mumbled quickly, nodding to yourself. “Yeah, I have to—.”
“Y/n, you didn’t even get your order yet,” she sweetly muttered.
“Right,” you cursed yourself mentally. “Yeah, I’ll get my coffee and then I do have to go.”
As if on cue, you heard your name being called. Unlucky for you, so was Florence’s. 
“Sit with me,” she pleaded as you grabbed your coffee and avocado toast. Before you could deny her once again, she said, “Please, Y/n.”
She sounded so sweet, so gentle, so broken and wounded. She sounded nothing like the woman who broke up with you during a phone call. 
You made the mistake to look at her pickle green eyes and there was no way you could say no. 
“Five minutes,” you muttered, making your way to a free table, sure she was following behind you.
“Fifteen tops.”
“Ten,” you countered back.
She cleared her throat as the two of you took a seat opposite of eachother. “How… um.. How have you been?” she stared.
“Busy, really busy,” you took a sip of your coffee, buying yourself some time. A half lie, the tour ended 3 months ago so you weren’t that busy.
“I know it’s been a while and I just…” Florence couldn’t find the right words to say.
She had been waiting for this opportunity ever since you hung up the phone, she wanted to explain herself to you, she wanted to tell you what was going through her mind when she ended the most beautiful relationship she had ever had. She wanted to call you so many times after breaking up, but never found the courage to do so. She knew this was her only chance, she knew she couldn’t mess up. 
“That night…” you felt tears burning in the corner of your eyes, but you refused to let them roll down your cheeks.  “Before you called I was looking at some pictures you posted, and I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking how much fun you were having without me,” she cleared her throat. “And all I could see was all those women around you, touching you, smiling at you,” she humorlessly chuckled. “Fuck, I even remeber one was kissing your cheek or something.”
Your eyes winded as the memory came back, you wanted to tell her what happened: that the girl was beyond drunk, that you were just being polite, that your photographer took the picture without you noticing but you pushed off the girl as soon as her lips touched your cheek. You wanted to tell her when she called you, but she never let you explain it.
“And I just got so jealous and mad… and sad because I missed you,” she sniffed. “My emotions were all over the place and I just didn’t handle the situation how I would have wanted to.”
“That night I was going to tell you. I felt so guilty about that stupid kiss. Nothing happened, she was just really drunk and somehow they snapped a quick picture,” you explained to her nonetheless. “I didn’t want to post that picture, I wanted to delete it, but they thought it was a good picture so I couldn’t have a say in the matter,” you forced yourself to meet her gaze. “I want you to know that nothing ever happened.” 
A weight lifted off of both yours and Florence’s shoulders.
“I should have talked to you about my feelings.”
“I should have forced them out of you,” you chuckled.
“Yeah, maybe…” she said, lost in her own thoughts while a thin smile formed on her lips. “Are you… are you seeing someone?” she cofed, trying to act nonchalant.
You bite your bottom lip, trying to hold back the grin. “I am not,” you licked your lips, suddenly feeling them dry. “Are you?” you almost whispered. 
“No,” she quickly shook her head. “I am not.”
Silence embraced the two of you as yours and Florence’s heart started quickly and loudly beating. 
“So, I…”
“Maybe we…”
You both giggled as you both wanted to speak at the same time.
“You first,” you smiled at her.
“Have dinner with me,” she simply said. 
Once again you took your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Florence, I don’t know if…”
“Please, Billie misses you,” your stomach shrunk at her comment.
“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath but she still heard you which made her smile. “Just Billie?” you asked teasingly and with a bit of hope. 
“No, not just Billie. I miss you too,” she slowly reached for your hand across the table, scared you were going to pull it away from hers. She let out the breath she was holding when you squeezed her hand, that was progress. “Just the three of us, dinner at mine, please?”
From the moment you saw her at the cafe you knew you were back at her mercy, who were you trying to fool? 
“Fine,” you pretend to sound annoyed, but she knew you were only messing with her since you flashed her a smile. 
You would always come back to her, you knew it and you were sure she knew it as well.
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Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3
-M
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t3ag3rs · 4 months ago
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g e n s o. - 1 5
its a short one yall
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you watch him eat quietly before speaking out, 
"so uh.. what time did you end the call yesterday night?" you fiddle with your earring, "when i woke up it said the call only lasted for an hour so.." you trail off glancing at him.
he swallows thickly, "it was nothing-"
you purse your lips, "your lying.." you look at him. "theres something your not saying.."
"fuck off genso. you dont need to know everything" he spat continuing to eat his food.
you widen your eyes, "w-well.. im sorry but- i want to know because out of everyone you chose to call me and actually get along with me yesterday, but for some damn reason today you wanna act like an ass and ignore me!" you exclaim. 
"you did this to me before we even came to UA..! you- you made me promise you to make it to UA so we could be friends again and you just-" you tear up frustrated.
he glances at you quietly before placing his plate down. "dont cry- dammit.." you grunts, running a hand through his untamed hair.
you wipe your tears before they fall, "im not-" you say defensively as you glance the other way.
"genso i-" he starts, "look i didnt go to school today because i was up all night thinking of something- or well someone.." he explains, avoiding eye contact with you.
you widen your eyes, "oh."
should you be feeling... hurt? why did it sting when he said he was thinking of someone? was this normal?
"who..?" you ask, your throat suddenly becoming dry.
he glances up at you before turning back down to his food. "i-" he croaks.
"i dont think she deserves to have someone like me.." he responds. you swear you see his eyes tear up, but dont question it.
"oh kats- bakugou-" you start.
"call me katsuki, not bakugou. weve known each other far too long for you to call me my surname." he mumbles.
"well what happened to that after i finished middle school" you mumble a bit harshly. you turn away from him lowly.
"genso. i didnt want distractions- i had to make it in for u-" he stops abruptly as he admits it.
you widen you eyes and snap your head to him. "for me..?" you ask softly. he grumbles nodding slightly, "oh.. well- even if you meant no harm, you couldve said something you know? it really sucked if im being honest..." you admit rubbing your arm.
"i know.. i kinda fucked up the execution.." he chuckles.
you nod, "yea.." you say agreeing with a small smile, "but uh- ill call you katsuki i guess.. i can understand why you did it.. i kinda got into UA for our promise too.." you admit quietly.
he cant help but smirk slightly, "oh?" 
you smack his arm, "hush- now tell me who the girl is" u say with a tiny smile.
he curses lowly staring at the food before placing it down and turning to you. you adjust to face him too.
"oh for fucks sake.." he pauses, "genso- no- y/n... i-" he tears up.
you widen your eyes. he called you by your actual name.
"y/n.. i dont know how to tell you this- and this may come off as forward or quick but, i fucking cant stop thinking about you." he says blinking his eyes causing tears to roll down.
"i dont know what to do anymore because it physically hurts me to think of you a-and- im scared you hate me. i feel like you deserve someone so much better then me-" he sobs slightly.
your heart lurches at the sight and suddenly you wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing him close to your chest. "dont." you say softly, cutting him off. 
his body shakes against yours as he buries his face in your neck. you rub his back softly, "katsuki.. weve been friends since we were in kindergarten.. yes, we have had our rough patches, but who doesnt?" 
you pause bringing his face up and wiping his tears, "i dont hate you, if anything i like you so much it frustrates me." you admit.
he looks up at you, "really..?" 
you nod, "really. how can i hate my best friend..?" you ask softly with a small smile.
he grabs your hands that are on his face and bring them down to press a soft kiss on the palm of your hand. "promise?" he mumbles into your hand.
you chuckle,
"promise katsuki.."
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previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 next part: pt. 16
☆taglist! @katszumi @coolgirl458 @niktwazny303 @twinnintwink @froggybich @friedmagazineprincess @itztaki
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thewertsearch · 6 months ago
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AA: is it coming back yet TA: is WHAT c0ming back, wh0 ARE y0u? TA: wh0a h0ld 0n. TA: why am i talking like y0u suddenly?
Blankness isn't always a bad thing.
Unlike Aradia's ghostly depression, Sollux's emptiness will come as something of a relief, because it means his head is finally free of voices.
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What's up, Jade? I guess you are the most likely human to be sleeping at any given time.
Feferi's Horrorterror alliance is really starting to pay dividends. Now that Jade's joined the party, the humans can finally consult with the living Aradia, who's regained her will to help. She's been dropping hints about what she knows for a long time, and she has to be ready to spill by now.
In short: It's time to hear from the only troll who actually knows what's going on.
TA: h0ly shit, i can't see! AA: yes thats what being blind means TA: w0w, awes0me! way t0 be awes0mely sympathetic t00 my terrible new pr0blem, aa. AA: sollux will you shut up and stop being so tragic for once AA: you knew this was going to happen! your prophecies of personal doom were practically all you ever talked about AA: i think you were looking forward to this honestly [Robo] AA: shes right TA: i can't believe this, it's alm0st as if i'm getting… TA: D0UBLE TEAMED.
These two are playing off each other extremely well.
You can really see the cute couple that they'd have made in life - and perhaps in death, too, since Sollux is destined to die again. Either way, he and Aradia will be seeing a lot of each other.
TA: that didn't feel right at all, i think i might have t0 retire the wh0le bifurcati0n gimmick, puns and all. TA: actually that is kind 0f a relief, maybe y0u're right, i'm feeling better ab0ut this already.
Those visions were really fucking with his head, I think, moreso than he ever let on. Getting KOed by a Hope laser might have been the best thing that ever happened to him.
So, uh.... I guess, thank you, Eridan?
AA: great! AA: you should be able to relax now that youve been released from the curse of your vision twofold just like you said youd be AA: you are now merely doomed!
TA: i'm g0ing t0 die again, aren't i.
AA: see you soon ;)
[Robo] AA: being d00med isnt that bad [Robo] AA: i spent m0st 0f my life that way remember […] [Robo] AA: actually i guess i dont have to keep talking like im doomed anymore do i
You deserve to cheer up a little, so I'm glad you're also letting go of the 'doomed' schtick.
This afterlife seems like a pretty sweet deal, especially for a Time Player. You retain your personhood, you can reunite with your co-Players, and for the first time since the meteors hit, you're not on the clock.
Side note - if the Aradiabots were using the zeroes because they were timeline-doomed, why was Alpha Aradia using it? Did she just feel inescapably doomed? I guess that tracks.
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xoverarts · 1 year ago
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THE SCARIEST THING ABOUT THE WINTER KING
Is that maybe almost all of us would have done the same.
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I doubt that the transferation of the madness towards princess Bubblegum was intentional in the first place, I think it was a spell that the Ice king cast so Bonnie reciprocate his feeling but the magic went rouge and the Candy Queen was born (similar how the heart spell backfired with Ricardio). Now when Simon recovered his sanity, keep in mind that he remember everything about his life as the Ice King, he is now faced with the following situation, losing his mind and identity again just so Bonniebell is free from the curse. I can only imagine that being controled by the crown is pure torture. Simon would rather die than being the Ice King again, and I cant blame him, Being trapped in a identity crisis, full of conflicted emotions and you do a lot of stuff against your will cause you are not yourself anymore, and that could last forever, Death would be a kinder fate.
Thats why in the "Winter wonderland" song, The winter king never explained how he coquered the crown, he just justified his actions explaining how the winter kingdom is so cool and awsome. Same reason why he said that "perhaps" he would tell Simon how to control the crown, he needed to know that Simon would not judge him for his actions, The winter king was always using a mask to hide his guilt and shame (reason why he never showed the ice marceline). Madness is a terrible curse that no one would jump into, and probably the Winter king dying would not have broken the spell (the crown could still be magical and sometimes do magic on its own), so his only option would be to go back to be the Ice king. I dont justify his actions, and he got what he deserved, but also I get why he did what he did.
Also fun question. ¿Is our Simon the only Simon in the multiverse with an universe inside his mind? or did we witnessed an universe turned into dust with the Winter king?
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mywitchcultblr · 6 months ago
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I find it amusing how some anonymous users call you a hater and a child throwing a tantrum (as if sending hateful messages wasn't). How can they be so blind to this?
The DLC writing is dogshit at best, and I am being generous. FromSoftware not only butchered Miquella's character but other things too. What happened to him wanting to cure his and Malenia's curse? There's no mention of that. The Haligtree—supposedly a home for the shunned and mistreated? Nothing. Granting Godwyn a true death? Nada. The Eclipse? Pfff. The Outer gods and the unalloyed gold? What about him being Torrent's former master? (As the promotional art implied) And the steed choosing the Tarnished? If I recall correctly, wasn't Torrent meant to pick lords? So this means Miquella trusted Torrent enough to let it choose him a consort, yet our role there is practically non-existent. Besides that, as far as I'm concerned, for one to become a god, one must be in contact with the Elden Ring, such as Ranni did, yet we don't see that in the DLC. And the thing that bugs me the most is Miquella abandoning parts of himself, like his love. Like, yeah, "Age of Compassion," but there's something you need for that and it is, y'know, love??? Where's the sense in that? Wasn't the whole point of him become a god and fix Marika's mess in the Lands Between? Not following her steps.
I'm not even going to mention Radahn because his presence here is as irrelevant as in the game.
THANK YOU ANON! Finally someone with sense! People who are saying "Oh you are just angry because the DLC doesnt confirm your headacanon or expectation." The expectation exist because of hints and lore that already exist in the base game, of course you will want to see the big pay off in Shadow. Imagine if you are Dr. Who fan and seeing 13th Doctor turned into a weeping angel but then in the next episode it doesn't go anywhere and she's immediately fine again
I will list others things that aggravate me about SOTE
The battle between Malenia and Radahn: In the base game, their battle is implied to be over runes, and because he was halting the stars and thus Miquella's fate. Malenia invaded Caelid to get Radahn's rune and solving the halted fate business, while general boi also wanting to accumulate more power so he can be Elden Lord with taking hers. Simple but effective.
But now its over a marriage with Miquella?
While it made sense for him to ally with the Haligtree so Radahn can get into the fast track of becoming Elden Lord through marrying Miquella, there's 0 build up anywhere in the base that will led us to believe Radahn even got to do anything with Miquella.
Also while he is a warmonger and certainly not a good person (I dont care what chuds on reddit said, just because a guy likes his horse that doesnt make him nice, I don't even hate Radahn or anything) he genuinely cares about HIS OWN HOLDING.
Now from what I gather from the DLC, he will agree to become Miquella's consort if he got an epic battle first. So now the motivation for Malenia vs Radahn iconic battle is... It was a deadly sparring ritual before the groom settle down? Radahn can you at least do it in a neutral zone so this battle wont destroy your OWN LAND?! There's no way Radahn didn't know that sparring with Malenia could endanger Caelid, especially with the fact that she has ROT. Radahn might be a brute archetype but he's not stupid, yet this DLC made him looks like an absolute oaf who doesn't care about whatever Caelid will survive or not...
2. Mohg: I always thought he will return, he gives me the vibe of a villain who say "I'll be back!" and I thought there's no way the Formless Mother will allow her champion to die just like that. Yeah he's back but in the worst way possible that will make his fans despairing and his haters say "I hate Mohg but he didn't deserve this."
His arc in the base is good, it is conclusive and it made sense.
A guy who was born hated, abused, and shunned by his own mother decided to say FUCK IT and created his own order, cavorting with an Outer God, committed heresy left and right, then kidnapped his half brother so he can force/convince/manipulate/doing blood ritual whatever so Miquella will make him a consort. Then the Tarnished ruined his plan, killed him. It was a well-rounded arc. Its good enough. I always admired his tenacity to give a middle finger to his family. But now? This weird over engineered brainwashing-kidnapping thing undermined the authority of both Mohg and the Formless Mother. Did she even care about Mohg? Why the Formless Mother didn't try to stop Miquella or at least warned Mohg about it?
And what the fuck Mohg is actually doing down there? What was his plan to elevate his order and replace Marika's? How he will do it if he never wanted to become Miquella's consort? With his drip alone? Maybe there are things that I missed about Mohg's plan in the DLC?? But this DLC narrative now undermined his arc and the Formless Mother.
3. Mesmer: While he is still intriguing and judging from youtube (No i havent reach him personally, because you know I'm busy but I spoiled myself, I always do for something as big as BG3 or Souls) I thought he would play a bigger role in Shadow, but not really? He's kinda overshadowed by Radahn who is not supposed to be there
Also Rellana's existence sounds like a sitcom level plot twist? Its kinda funny LMAO "Oh you think Renalla's boss fight sucks and you think she is weak? HERE WE HAVE HER TWIN SISTER RELLANA! ITS THE UPGRADED VERSION OF CARIA 1.0!" (I do like the expansion and exploration of the Carian's family tho)
4. "What about him being Torrent's former master? (As the promotional art implied) And the steed choosing the Tarnished? If I recall correctly, wasn't Torrent meant to pick lords? So this means Miquella trusted Torrent enough to let it choose him a consort, yet our role there is practically non-existent." : THIS YOU ARE SO RIGHT ANON, Torrent chose the Tarnished and Miquella asked Ranni to give the spirit calling bell to whoever Torrent chose. THAT'S MEAN THE TARNISHED ALREADY HAS A CONNECTION WITH MIQUELLA, I'm willing to bet over my right arm, this Promised Lord that Miquella/Malenia mentioned is either supposed to be Godwyn or THE TARNISHED THEMSELVES!
Look Miquella need a lord strong enough to back his claim and help him to change the world right? Why insisting on chasing after Radahn (that never mentioned to have any connection or alliance with Miquella) WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THE GUY WHO DEFEATED RADAHN AND MALENIA THEMSELVES! The Tarnished is already strong enough to challenge MOTHER FUCKING GODFREY and won! It make 0 sense for us not able to become his consort. What do you mean you can make the dream of a guy who is literally called THE DUNG EATER came true and subjugated everyone into a world of pain because shit eater is an edgelord who thinks omens and their suffering are totally cool, but not MIQUELLA'S? Its so bullshit. In the grand scheme of things, Dung Eater is as relevant as a random Tibia Mariner.
I'm still hoping we can see Miquella's ending, I hope its gonna be added. I saw someone mentioned that there's actually Miquella's ending but not implemented? I hope it can be added and at least some aspect of the missing story/plothole fixed, because Elden Ring 1.0 was quite different than what we have now...
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This guy on reddit also echoed my statement
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5. Godwyn: I don't care what some people said "Oh Godwyn is not supposed to be there, its just your headcanon." Brother... This DLC is about Miquella and Mesmer (even though sadly Mesmer's role seems to be diminished :/) there's should be any mention about Godwyn because Miquella and Malenia loves him very much.
There's a statue of them hugging each other, and if I'm not mistaken there were people who data mined and found tidbits about Miquella trying to resurrect him and there's stuff about Miquella giving up his throne
Show us Miquella failed to resurrect Godwyn, show dont tell! (so it wont impact Fia's ending) or please give us a mentions about him by Miquella, or knights who used to serve pre-dead and rotting Godwyn appearing in Lands of Shadow, something, anything! its like his own family, doesn't give a fuck to solve the problem that his rotting body caused.
6. The gloam eyed queen and Melina: I thought GEQ will be mentioned, since this DLC also delved into Marika's past, I mean GEQ was her rival and she's nearly becoming THE God instead of Marika. But eh nothing about her or Melina :/ Tho I do like tidbits about Marika's past and her village
There's other things... But eh I'm tired of typing lol. I do enjoy Elden Ring, I really do, and I had such a high expectation for SOTE :/ so yeah I became loud about my disappointment because I'm invested
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loveywon · 2 years ago
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♡𓂃 MEMORIES !
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pairing: ex!sunghoon x gn!reader
wc: 3.5k+
synopsis: it’s hard to turn away a park sunghoon who looks like an abandoned puppy, waiting at your front door, when he is only supposed to be a memory that you wish to forget. ib memories by conan gray
warnings: umm angst haha…, ex’s to errr lovers maybe haha……., cursing, mentions of sunghoon being under the influence, maybe one suggestive joke?? i dont really know, reader is emotional but under good reason, sunghoon isn’t an asshole but he’s selfish, kinda fluff if it makes you feel better, not proofread of course
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you’re starting to finally heal. you’re starting to build up your friendships again, becoming more stable in your job, and your relationship with your parents are starting to become healthy! so why are you opening the door, three in the morning, to an obviously drunk and high sunghoon?
you know better than to open the door. you blocked his number, blocked him on every single social media platform you could think of, and cut off all mutual friends you two shared. the sight, the mere thought of anything that could possibly remind you of park sunghoon, makes you want to hurl. you don’t want to be reminded of him, and you were doing exceptionally well. until now, where your shaky hand is reaching for the door knob, well knowing that sunghoon is outside your door. your hand finally meets the door knob, but you don’t turn it. you can’t. you shouldn’t. you bite back a pathetic laugh, your head hanging down in disappointment for yourself. you’re stronger than this, you’re a smart person. but park sunghoon makes you stupid. stupidly in love.
sunghoon can feel your presence on the other side of the door. his forehead meets with the hardwood of your door. the thud breaks you out of your thoughts, a loud and exasperated sigh leaving your lips. you really can’t deal with this, but when you take a small peek through your peephole, you think he looks like a stray wet dog with no owner, just looking for some shelter. you’ve been sunghoon’s shelter long enough, you think, so what’s one more night?
you scoff to yourself, and sunghoon hears it. he plants a hand on your door, softly patting it in his drunken state. “y/n…” he lazily drags out your name. you’ve worked so hard to move on. and you have finally found peace with yourself. are you really about to ruin all your progress? you suppose so when you finally crack open the door. you don’t dare to look at him. you haven’t seen his face, you haven’t even heard his name in months. you really hate yourself for opening the door, but you hate sunghoon even more when you look up to see a sleazy smirk resting on his ridiculously attractive face. you don’t say a word. you grab his wrist, (harshly) pulling him inside your apartment before slamming the door shut. “sit,” you gesture over to the couch. you have a spare room, and sure, you can offer him the room to sleep in for the night. but you’re petty and bitter, so you think he deserves to have back pain when he wakes up the next morning.
sunghoon trudges to your couch, flopping onto it as he did a few months ago. it feels weird to see him in your home, and it’s the same weird feeling when you wouldn’t see your home. you purse your lips as sunghoon rolls around on your loveseat but he abruptly sits up, looking at you dead in the eye. “did you change your couch?” he asks, as if changing the couch offended him (it did). he literally cannot be serious, and judging by the way he looked at you, he was, and it pissed you off even more. you scoff again, shaking your head in disbelief as you walk over to your kitchen. as you pour him a glass of water, you feel sunghoon’s eyes following your every move. “why did you change your couch?” he presses again, but you ignore him again.
he rolls his eyes when you don’t answer him, and for a moment you forgot that he doesn’t like not having answers. “y/n, answer me. why’d you change it?” he’s more firm on his question now, and you almost want to chuck the glass cup filled with water at him. you walk over to him, handing him the glass of water but his eyes only stay on your face, awaiting for your answer. you sigh dramatically, “i swear to god, just drink the water, or i will not hesitate to dump you outside again.” you’re just as firm as him, and you swear you saw his eyebrow twitch in agitation but he takes the glass anyway, downing it in one drink. setting the glass on your coffee table, his eyes harden once more and you already know he’s going to ask you again. he’ll ask and ask until he gets an answer. “y/n–” he starts again, and you feel queasy from hearing his voice. you stand up, turning your back on him. “shut up. i changed it because it didn’t match my apartment furniture. that’s all,” you finally answer him, but both of you know that it is far from the real reason why you changed your couch.
sunghoon spent too much time on the old couch, and seeing it every time in the center of your apartment made you sick to the stomach, so you changed it. now, you think, you’ll have to change it again after seeing him on your new couch. he slowly lays back down on your couch, but his head is slightly tilted up as he keeps his eyes on you. “well i think your old couch matched your apartment just fine. i guess i’m just sad that all our memories on that couch are gone now,” he shrugs lightly, speaking casually as if you two didn’t have the nastiest breakups in the history of breakups. you have to bite the inside of your cheek so you don’t lash out on him (even though he deserves it), but you lose your cool when he sits back up and you feel his presence behind you. he takes your hand in his which makes you sharply slap his hand away.
he has to be playing some sick joke, you think. the fact that he has the guts to even mention the past makes you want to run to the bathroom and throw up. “i think that’s the point. you’re supposed to stay a memory, so you should actually just leave because you seem to have sobered up,” you say through gritted teeth, but you know well enough he actually isn’t totally sober yet as his eyes droop occasionally and he stumbles on his feet a bit even if he is just standing still. and unfortunately, sunghoon knows that you’re not a cruel human being so you won’t kick him out when he is still under the influence.
“i don’t wanna leave. i want to stay here forever,” he whines as he flops back onto the couch like a child. if you two were still together, you would’ve thought it was cute, but you don’t now, and you want him out of your apartment as soon as possible. “well you’re not staying here forever. you’re lucky i am a decent human being, but you better be gone when i wake up tomorrow,” you grumble as you fold your arms across your chest, “please sober up more. i don’t want to smell throw up in the morning and even if you do, you’re cleaning it up or else i will haunt you for the rest of your life,” you threaten, and sunghoon merely gives you a weak grin, looking as if he’s about to fall asleep during your mid-rant.
“you already haunt my mind every day,” the boy mumbles, but you heard what he said, and it’s enough for you to click your tongue and leave him in your living room with no pillows or blankets. you loudly shut your bedroom door for him to hear that you do not want to be bothered before making yourself comfy on the bed. a peaceful fifteen minutes pass, and you’re close to dozing off to a slumber when you hear your door knob click open, followed by heavy footsteps that you recognize all too well. you don’t need to open your eyes to know it’s sunghoon, so you pretend that you’ve already fallen asleep in hopes of him giving up and leaving.
but you know sunghoon better than that, and you know that he’s incredibly hard headed and is a company type of guy. he’s always had trouble sleeping if you weren’t next to him in bed, and at the very least if you were apart then he’d facetime you. he would always find a way to be with you before he sleeps, and you suppose he hasn’t broken his habit yet when you feel the corner of your mattress dip slightly. you peek an eye open as subtly as you can, seeing a messy brown head of hair facing you with the rest of his body sat on the floor at an uncomfortable angle. you shut your eyes tightly once more as if the more force you put into your eyes squeezed shut would make him disappear.
you hear a loud, exasperated sigh come from him, and you still don’t budge. you then feel his head shake a little, then a quiet and choked sob leave his lips. you bite on your lower lip to suppress any noise, trying to maintain your even breathing. a part of you feels bad; you didn’t know he was this affected, especially when he was the one who broke up with you. you then give yourself a mental slap for ever feeling bad for the man who stomped on your heart. he is clearly still not in the right state of mind and is just feeling emotional, you think, but you still let him stay beside you. you argue in your mind that, as long as he’s gone when you wake up, you can return to your normal routine and pretend he never existed in your life.
if only that’s what really happened.
your eyes shoot open at loud clanking from your kitchen area, mind almost immediately going into panic mode until you remember sunghoon from last night. you groan audibly, hopefully loud enough for him to hear but your bedroom door is shut still. you turn over to your side, seeing a lost strand of brown hair that had to belong to sunghoon. you grimace, swiping it off your bed sheets as if it was a spider before rolling out of bed. angrily stomping to your kitchen where you see sunghoon messing with your kitchen pots, you lean against the wall until he decides to acknowledge your appearance.
“oh, good morning y/n. did you sleep well?” he asks as he struggles with cracking an egg into the pan. you roll your eyes before walking over, only to shove him to the side and take the egg out of his hand. “could have been better if someone didn’t decide to sneak into my room,” you mutter in absolute despise as you crack the egg with ease into the pan. he chuckles awkwardly as he watches you from behind.
“this kinda brings back memories, no?” he says casually, and you immediately look over your shoulder with venomous eyes that makes sunghoon purse his lips into a tight line. “you are supposed to be gone,” you only say in return and you get a shrug as a response from the boy. you wonder how you even dealt with him when you two were together, but you don’t remember him being this insufferable before.
“didn’t feel like it,” he grins, canines peeking proudly that you can see from the corner of your eye when he tries to get you to look at him. despite your disliking of his pestering habits, you can’t help but recall when the two of you used to cook breakfast together (it was more you than him). fighting off a smile that dared to appear on your face, you roll your eyes before putting the cooked eggs onto a plate and shoving it into his chest. “eat, and then leave. that will also be two dollars for the eggs. inflation is crazy these days,” you mutter, sighing as you run a hand exasperatedly through your hair and walking over lazily to the couch.
“oh, is this your excuse for me to contact you again. i knew you wanted me back, y/n,” he sighs happily, ever so touched by your words even if he did it in a dramatic manner. he took a bite of your cooked eggs, and he almost wants to physically melt. no one has ever made eggs for him like you do, even if you just sprinkle some salt and pepper. it’s not the same if it’s not you, he thinks.
sunghoon happily plops down next to your slumped figure on the couch, enjoying his eggs as if it was a normal sunday morning. you wish it could be a normal sunday morning, if only he didn’t absolutely spit on your heart and stomped on it after. “no. and get away from me. i literally do not want to see you any more. just please, leave,” you say almost desperately as sunghoon swallows his last bite of your eggs. a frown makes its way onto his lips when you move away from him, pressing your side against the armrest of the couch. “y/n,” he starts but you squeeze your eyes shut when his voice reaches your ears.
“no! no, just get out of my life, sunghoon. seriously, i mean it. you can’t just come back into my life like nothing happened and be all boyfriend again like this. it’s been months, get over it!” you snap at him, head turning to shoot a glare at him but his eyes are wide and his brows are furrowed as if he’s confused, but he really has no reason to be confused and it only makes you even more mad.
he looks like a lost puppy, you think, but you can’t let yourself fall for it again. no, you refuse to. you were already weak earlier, but you can’t be caught slipping anymore. you snag the plate off of his lap, giving him a sharp glare before stomping off into the kitchen and furiously scrubbing soap on the plate that wasn’t even that dirty to begin with. the water that spills out of the faucet is loud, and you don’t even notice a few tears have fallen from your eyes until sunghoon swipes your cheek.
you drop the plate into the sink, resulting in a loud clank but neither of you flinch at the sound when you’re swatting his hand away from you, wiping harshly at your cheeks to dry your face but it’s no use when the tears keep leaving your eyes. “please don’t cry, it hurts me to see you like this, y/n,” sunghoon whispers quietly as he stares at your tearful face that he pities so much.
you scoff, but then you break into a laugh. you know he probably thinks you’re a maniac for suddenly laughing, but his words put you in so much shock that it’s unbelievable you actually wanted to marry him one day. “it hurts you…” you mumble underneath your breath, and sunghoon barely catches what you say. “what–” he asks, confused, but is cut off when you let out another breathless laugh. “oh, you’re actually sick. you are so, so sick, park sunghoon,” you say so blankly as your eyes bore into his, and sunghoon almost falters back at your sudden change of attitude.
“i don’t–” he sputters out, in a rush to try and stop you but you feel like you’ve gone delirious. and it’s all because of sunghoon. stupid sunghoon and his stupid, stupid face that makes you want to kneel down and apologize for what is about to spill from your lips.
you look away for a split second, as if your mind was subconsciously thinking twice but you’re off the rails, too angry to even stop the finger that jabs at his shoulder roughly. “we broke up for a reason. what was it that you used to say…?” you feign ponder, “oh! the past is in the past, so we should move on from it, right? you, are the past. you are just a memory that i can forget! and i’ve already moved on, so why are you still in my fucking apartment?” you spit out, finger constantly jabbing at his shoulder blade while he sits on the couch, jaw slightly agape and brows furrowed.
“you moved on? to who?” he asks, almost like he’s angry but he has absolutely no right to be angry. and it only makes you even more furious that you ‘moving on’-- which was an absolute lie– was the only part that he focused on. your finger that is lingering still on his shoulder blade is taken off by sunghoon, his hand wrapped around your wrist as he pulls you closer to him.
you’re taken off guard, eyes widening a bit from his sudden action. “answer me,” his brows furrow even more, but his face isn’t angry anymore. he’s pleading, you realize. it really bothered him so much that you moved on. so you laugh in his face again. you laugh hard, so hard that you lose your balance from where you’re standing with sunghoon’s leg in between yours. you fall forwards, forehead meeting his shoulder as you continue to laugh.
you calm down, short breaths leaving your lips as sunghoon’s grip slowly releases your wrist. then, you pound his chest. it’s definitely not enough to hurt him, so you think that repeating it will at least do some damage. he only sits there and takes it. “you’re so pathetic, park,” you whisper into his shoulder, eyes squeezed shut when your fist stops hitting his chest.
“i’m only pathetic because you make me desperate,” he responds so casually, like it’s a normal everyday thing to say to an ex. he sits still, even with your whole body leaned against him and your legs tangled up with his. “hug me,” you mumble, the fist on his chest now squeezing his shirt tightly. he hesitates for a moment, but he could never ever say no to you, so he wraps his arms around you. “i’m not going to disappear out of thin air, you don’t have to hold onto me that tight,” he tries a joke, but then your body starts shaking and you’re crying once again.
“oh, oh god. i’m so sorry, i didn’t think it was that bad of a joke, please don’t cry,” he pleads, rubbing your back soothingly as you rub your eyes against his shirt fabric on his shoulder. he’s got more to worry about than a tear-stained shirt. “you are really so fucking stupid, i think my head is starting to hurt,” you mutter out through gritted teeth because you really can’t believe you’re letting him hold you like this again, when just a few months ago you were hugging yourself in your bedroom alone, crying hysterically because you missed his hugs.
he clicks his tongue, “it’s only hurting so much because you can’t stop thinking about kissing me,” he tries for another joke, again, and you really stop crying and stare at him blankly again. “you are only supposed to be a memory,” you mumble out again, and his face turns into confusion. “but–” he wants to fight for you, but you don’t let him.
“i can’t hold you back from finding your real lover,” you frown, eyes still watery from tears that are building up once again, “and you can’t hold me back either. you already know how this is going to end, don’t you, sunghoon? i don’t think i can deal with the aftermath, again,” you whisper almost desperately to try to get him to understand but he only shakes his head. “so you’re saying you don’t want me in your life?”
you bite your bottom lip, brows scrunching as you look away from him. “being your friend or your lover will hurt in the end. i can’t do it,” you reply, voice shaky as more tears threaten to spill out of your eyes and you swear, when you spare him a glance, his eyes are also glossy.
he frowns deeply, opting to say nothing because maybe, just maybe, you’ll let him stay a little longer and relish your warmth against him before he’s forced to grab his things that he’s left for you in your apartment and leave, for good. he brings you in closer again in his embrace, and you think you will also relish in this moment again before you repeat the healing process over again when he leaves.
you hate every part about park sunghoon, with the way his cologne still lingers on your shirts no matter how much you wash it, and the way almost every piece of furniture in your own apartment reminds you of him that you had to change your couch so that he would stop sticking to you like glue. but you always know that no matter how pathetic you think he is, you are too, if not more, pathetic than him.
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