#i dont know if it has to do with the way my autism effects me

[just-your-average-tangerine]

I have a love/hate relationship with reading. Because I do love to read, I always have. But also, it makes me feel very stupid, I feel like I'm barely literate. Like I can read the words and understand the story being told. But then I see people making connections and extrapolations, predicting things based on foreshadowing, etc. And it makes sense to me once it's explained, I can see where they got that, but I never in a million years would have come up with that myself.

And I keep trying to find ways to improve that, but all the advice I can find is "read as much as you can, in a variety of styles and genres," but I already do that. I've been reading anything I could get my hands on since I taught myself how to read at 4 years old. Obviously, that's not working.

[vanweezer]

very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out

"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"

thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the corpse of king minos is very fucking big and Scary but you can parry his punches pretty easily and thats the easiest way i can explain how good ultrakill feels

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[bunny-heels]

finished the Night Springs DLC. im so fuckin happy. thoughts under cut. spoilers of course

ROSE'S EPISODE WAS SO FUN I WILL NOT HEAR ANY SLANDER FOR IT. her dialogue was so silly and all the lil fanfic cliches were so fun and cute i was losing it SO Bad. the whole rose-tint effect over everything and her romanticizing Alan just uses her. Rose sweetie you poor girl. but god i love her enthusiasm so much. she's a misguided sweetheart. i need more of her forever. also her being the one to swoon Alan lowering him while covered in blood. Queen behavior.

Jesse's episode is what made me realize these probably take place WAY before the main game. at least Jesse's episode does. i loved her interactions with Tim and all the lil creepy moments with the brainwashing and bring just, in a weird dark place version of Coffee World. the math problem was a lil hard for me only cause i got so confuses cause i havent done math in so long. i also dont know what was up with the messages in the stash boxes??? i hope they mean something, i mean they definitely do but i just have no idea what. her ending was so weird tho. Alan being her brother instead of Dylan was huge whiplaah and i fully didnt expect it. but i did love it.

but Tim's episode. holy fuck. what the fuck was that. first of all Sam is adorable and i love that he's able to perfectly replicate the level of autism he has for his real games onto his character self's fake games. secondly, the different mediums, oh my god. the comic killed me with the panels of multiple Sam's, Shawn's and Illka's. i was out of my mind. AND THE QUANTUM BREAK REFERENCE WITH DOOR FINDING THAT SHIT IN THE CAVE? SAM THERE ARE MICEOSOFT SNIPERS OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE THEY'LL KILL YOU!!!!!! the fucking tango song im so happy it made a comeback. THE FINNISH POSTER FOR DEATH RALLY BTW???? WHERE ZANE IS ACTING AA THE MAIN CHARACTER???? IM CRYING FOREVER???? and that text adventure ending. oh god that ending made me insane. the wording of the situation was beautiful. and i loved ASCII art Alan. so cute.

THE LIL MEMORIAL THING FOR JAMES ALSO. ugh idk how i didnt cry. that was so sweet. i miss that man so fucking much. i really hope if they ever bring Casey back that the next guy who voices him does it justice.

god i loved this whole DLC. it was so fun and i had such a good time. i cant wait for Lake House to come out, i'll lose it so hard

[psychabolition]

Why and how do you reject diagnoses , treatment and recovery?

The why is answered quickly ,. For a lot of us "treatment" doesnt help or actively harms us . Its not uncommon to face psychiatric abuse as part of your treatment plan: including conversion therapy, physical violence, social ostracization /isolation, stigmatization or severe side effects from psychiatric drugs which can include brain damage and death .

So how do we stop thinking that we need treatment from professionals to feel better and to lead a life that we enjoy when we know it doesnt help us ? The biomedical model and its logic make us feel this way. We're told that we have an illness that causes our pain and that can only be treated by doctors and psychologists. But this model is inherently contradictory and that we have an "illness" thats the cause of our pain has never even been scientifically proven . If youre labelled with depression you dont have low serotonin, if youre labelled with schizophrenia theres no genetic defect, if youre labelled as adhd/autism your brain doesnt look different than the brain of people without the label. "mental disorders" are not an "illness" by medical standards.

Also, the logic of the model doesnt really make sense. Your 'mental illness' can never "cause" anything because its solely a descriptive label (every psychologist will admit this !! - all diagnoses are just a list of descriptions of specific behaviors/experiences/ways of thinking), its never the reason for anything. I think we need to avoid the circular logic of "well i do x because i have y condition (which was diagnosed based on clinician observations of x) and my brain is simply broken in a way requiring me to submit to expert clinical management and surveillance". I think its highly misleading to talk about symptoms of an illness since saying 'I am suicidal because Im depressed' is the same as saying 'Im suicidal because Im suicidal'(remember: its only a descriptive label!!) - it doesnt explain anything. I think its really unhelpful and also simply not scientifically backed up to think about any experiences/struggles/distress that we have no matter how unusual/painful/norm deviation as an 'illness' of our minds/brains.

The way I depathologize myself and reject the (bio)medical model is by saying that I think of a lot of the experiences that got me diagnosed and that also made me label myself as "ill/disordered" as simply a deviation from "neuronormativity" (=whats societally deemed 'normal' to think/feel/do depending on your assigned gender/age/socioeconomic status/...). So when I say that "Im neurodivergent" what I mean is that I "deviate from neuronormativity". And when people are not neurodivergent I say that theyre "neuroconform" - which simply means that they manage to conform to what society expects of them .

If you define neurodivergency in this way it includes 1) suffering more severely in our current society than others do 2) being neurodivergent because of positive experience and/or negative experiences that youve made 3) your neurodivergency also includes experiences that havelnothing to do with the reason why you got labelled as ill/sick/dysfunctional/disordered . Like being politically radical in some way - like for example if youre a communist or an anarchist or queer or simply just very different and norm deviating . 4) it includes queerness that is currently pathologized (I like to use the concept neuroqueer).

These new concepts and understanding of myself made me get better in the sense that I trusted again, after years, that only I know whats best for myself . And to be true medication and therapy has only ever harmed me and made me get worse. I can now ask myself whats actually causing my pain and struggles, and its never been my own brain that simply " reacts wrong " . When Im doing really bad it always has a real cause in my real life and theres always something that can be done (even if this means overthrowing the current social order in society)

[minmos]

sorry im not drowning the post because i disagree with it, i just dont want to derail and traumadump on a stranger's post, but this is my dad finding out that forcefeeding me new foods while hes drunk isnt going to cure my sensory problems around food and actually will make me want to try new things less Sorry

but also bc i have thoughts on this ^ 1. does anyone have any advice on how to ger your nutritional needs met with autism related food problems. yes i know that the most effective way to get proper nutrition is to have a balanced diet & nothing else i can do is going to replace that. But does anyone have any like, at least harm reduction style advice while i work on that

in return i offer: ive found that learning to cook has expanded my world so much & is such a treat for my food weirdness. i feel like it's given me a level of control that makes me feel so much more secure when i eat, like i can control exactly how it tastes & the textures, and i know what's in it. And in turn, that extra security lets me try new foods on my own terms in a way that doesnt feel as scary as people forcefeeding me or pressuring me to try things when i dont want to

Also if you can eat soup, ive found that making chicken soup has been an incredible way for me to try new vegetables. you can't really taste any of them (i know i know, but with a large pot i really do not taste it at all because everything tastes like the savory broth), but i think that there's enough slight vegetable taste that i'm very slowly building my resistance to it. and the texture of all the vegetables iz the same (very soft & unnoticeable) because of how long it cooks, so you dont have to deal with texture issues, and if you cut it up small then you don't notice it at all

Speak now my autism warriors

[the-eyemunchies]

A small discussion. We all know ghoatbusters is autisti media, but can we talk about how all the ghostbusters are definitely neuroatypical (except for Winston).

So this is my Thread(i will only be using the movies but i could add so much more with the Real ghostbusters):

So let's start with the easy one, Egon is Obviously Autistic, he is the steriotypical autistic person, blunt, which shows difficulty in communication, has a hard time with socialization and has repetitive and behaviour. (Yes, those are the main 3 traits to define autism according to the dms-5 ), but we can add in some other stuff like he restrictive eating and hyperfocus that arent defining traits but are also associated.

Now let's go for Ray, i see a lot of people mentioning of autistic behaviour related to Ray and well due to Dan himself being autistic. but i will throw a thing out here, Ray has ADHD Not autism, specifically the mixed adhd which brings in the lack of attention along with hyperactivity. (i know the spectrum shows differently in each person but this is my headcanon and what i observed) So lets start, he is very impulsive, and take actions sometimes without even thinking, plus very active, childish, and he lacks a lot of attention like they'd be talking about a thing and stantz would trail off or even start something without even considering causes, like with the proton packs, ray was the first one to offer himself even if it is a nuclear weapon. He could go overboard like when he is asked to scream to the mood slime and goes over the top, and now that's not necessarily a adhd characteristic, but it's common, he is very adoptive and quickly witted.

Now, for the one no one ever talks about when mentioning about neurodiversity in ghostbusters and my favourite Venkman.

Oh, how do i start with this one, thats the most AuDhD person, in the movies the phrases like "Good or bad is a bit fuzzy in my mind" or "dont stare at me you have the bug eyes, im sorry" both the situation, of not exactly understanding the morals or social effects and of not liking to be stared at, (he barely looks at people faces while talking to them) The lack of feel and being rather apathetic, being calm to react to stuff, like on the second on thr mocie when they were being judged and he was telling louis exactly what to say and yet extreme impulsive action, like the way he behaved with peck, his extreme sincerity and plus even tho he is very communicative his ways of communication are very directed as in the need to alrewdy have a theme or create a move. he needs a topic to communicate with people, like i found it so stupid that he used the experiment to hit on the girl on the first scene then he used jokes to die out his anxiety and he is not very expressive and to actually talk to dana he used the excuse of the ghost hunting, and the way he began to freak out about the ectoplasma (now obviously im over exagerating) could be seen as sensory issues, much like ray he also gets side tracked and distracted a lot. It's hard to have two voices in ya head telling the most logical and other one telling the impulsive intrusive thought, and he shows the mixture of the two perfectly. and if you want to push even farther in, we can discuss dislexia. The fact he has to ask Ray to read certain words for him and tell him what it says is already very interesting. (Adding in Bill murray is not openly autistic, but there were mentions about it in old interviews and some stuff in different people mentioning the possibility. but for the section of factuality, let's say no)

It could've been an accident or not, but here we have it. this is my belief that none of this is canon. im not Dan nor Harold remis im just a person who really likes those characters and is also Autistic.

i love this picture of ernie hudson its so silly

[aropride]

thinking about therapy again bc i knowww i need to be in it. but i think one of my inarguable needs in a therapist is that they see me as an equal? i guess is the best way to put it. and thats not really something you can Ask it's more of a vibes based thing. but like. i hate playing stupid with doctors psychiatrists therapists etc i want to be like This is what im experiencing These are the resources ive looked into This is what i think is going on. where do we go from here. and like i know a fair amount about psychology and i dont want to have to pretend i dont. or for them to assume i dont. and like id look into peer support and stuff but i feel like thats more short term and less intensive than id need to unpack my childhood stuff. Oh i completely forgot to post and also finish typing this. anyway idk like what are even the chances of finding a provider in my area, who takes my insurance and is willing to work with me abt the copay, whose main modality isnt cbt, whos experienced in cptsd/dissociative disorders, and also who i click with as a person. idk. it feels completely hopeless lol and i know its not but like. maybe im fine rn like maybe i dont even need therapy really (least fine guy youve ever met voice)

but the other problem is i also need like, a social worker who isnt school-related and extremely overworked (god bless her tho omg) bc i need a lot of help getting like, case management and applying for disability etc. and just normal therapy isnt gonna help me when i also need those things. but i feel like most long term therapists arent also social workers and vice versa

and i dont even know what modality would be helpful for me. i know dbt WAS when i was younger, but now i know like. the basics, ive learned the coping skills etc. so idk if it would still be helpful? and i know like, somatic focused therapy or whatever would probably be helpful, because actually understanding what my body was doing and why and how that effects my mental health has been really helpful in the past. but also i feel like a lot of somatic therapists are... whats a nice way to say this. like a lot of the ppl ive seen either on like psychologytoday etc or on instagram reels are. the type of guy to buy dreamcatchers on shein and use cherrypicked parts of other cultures without understanding their cultural context. and, like, try to cure my dissociative disorder with reiki or something. Sorry im thinking abt the therapist i had in early 2020 now

idk i just dont really know what to look into even. bc ive heard good stuff from a friend abt emdr but im skeptical of emdr like, casually. like i havent tried it and i dont know a huge amount about it, but on the surface it kinda sounds like bullshit- yeah just look between these lights and think about stuff and thatll fix you. but i also understand how repetitive movement can be calming (#autism) and it makes sense that being exposed to those memories and also in a safe place would be helpful? and i like that u dont have to talk abt the traumas in depth out loud. but i also feel like thats more for single-event traumas or at least trauma that u like, remember

and i feel like being able to talk out loud abt stuff would help me. like having another person to bounce my thoughts off of whos not like. a friend. and is able to deal w that kind of thing. and is also paid to do so. And can also help me like. recognize when im being insane. but also Wont assume im being insane and that all my thoughts are fucking cognitive distortions

idk its just exhausting trying to figure out What i even want from therapy other than to Feel Better and stop losing entire months of my life sometimes and to be able to like. make phone calls and talk to people and not feel evil and insane all the time. and to be able to live away from my parents and have a life, whether that involves Employment or not. one of my short-term goals in therapy w a long term therapist would explicitly be to decide my long term goals and how i'll know i met them. bc i think talking abt the therapeutic relationship w my therapist up front is something that would benefit me. due to the avoidance.

idk. wgat everrrr.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

[beannary]

Hi! Thank you for blessing us all with tlp :) it’s such a cool au and I like it a lot!! I have many thoughts about it so I’ll start writing them now:

With Donnie being raised by Big Mama, the change in dynamics with literally everyone is interesting to think about, so of course my brain has latched onto the concept of how Donnie’s dynamic with his own brain (his neurodiversity/autism) effects his relationships with himself and his family. 

(beannary note: putting everything under the cut so this doesn’t get too long)

Comparing Donnie’s relationship with his own neurodiversity in tlp to canon makes me so emotional you have no idea…..in canon he’s never had a need to mask, living in the sewers with a family who accepts him for who he is, so he has difficulties doing so when needed; we’ve seen him in situations where he is unable to mask/act “socially appropriate” (the mystic library episode comes to mind - he can’t control the volume of his voice when he gets excited. Also every single time he is put in a situation where he has to lie but he is comically bad at it. Also the many many instances in which he is shown being unable to ‘read the room’). But in tlp he seems to be masking a lot, either when he’s interacting with Big Mama’s guests or with Big Mama herself (your Masking is Hard comic comes to mind instantly - how Donnie has a hyperspecific role to play as Big Mama’s Son and the pressure to not only be sociable, but be sociable in a way that meets his mother’s expectations. Its a lot to handle, acting a way that doesn’t come naturally to you and no matter how many times you go through the motions you feel as if it doesn’t get any easier and you dont know why). Tlp Donnie can mask far more convincingly than canon Donnie, but only because he’s had to mask frequently throughout his life. It seems to me like he’s been taught at a young age that he needs to stop acting so “weird” (for example, stimming in obvious ways), because that kind of behavior loses its cuteness fast with Big Mama & most of the company she associates with. I imagine lots of his behaviors are discouraged as he grows up because they’re “not cute anymore” and he’s “not a little kid anymore” and he “needs to learn some manners/self-control” even though everything “weird” Donnie does feels like so natural to him, even as he gets older. Although I do think Donnie has instinctively coped with this by making his stims more subtle (this is where I get to be self-indulgent and imagine his stims - humming, tapping his feet, fiddling with any object he can get his hands on, blasting EDM in his headphones etc), and he only pulls out the big guns (aka big stims) when he’s in his own room with the door closed (or when he’s locked himself in a bathroom stall and physically cannot hold himself back anymore). 

Unfortunately for Donnie I also figure that this amount of masking makes him more susceptible to meltdowns. In canon Donnie has so much freedom and control over his own life that the only time I can remember him being even mildly close to Meltdown Territory is during the Todd Scouts episode when his tech was taken away. And even then, he immediately knows how to cope with the change by Creating with whatever tools he is able to find, his brothers just accepting his absence as he goes MIA to build the things he needs to make himself feel better (like the wooden battle shell). But in tlp au does he even know how to cope in healthy ways? Does he get to go MIA for long periods of time so he can pull himself together and prevent a meltdown from happening? Oouuggghh I just want him to be happy :( poor guy feels as if he has no control over his life to the point he develops an eating disorder, he absolutely has no idea what a healthy coping skill is. I’m torn in between concepts for how he processes his neurological differences - either he goes the “autism? don’t be ridiculous, everyone feels this way” route or the “I am astronomically Different from anyone else I know. surely this is just due to my superior intellect and not a developmental disability of any sorts”. Either way this dude is not connecting any dots nor processing any emotions in a healthy way. (Now that I think about it, while Donnie lives with Big Mama, his unique and different skillset are probably what he clings onto to feel needed and useful to his mother, so the latter makes sense for him during that time. But the former makes sense when the concept of Different scares him, when it’s not just intellect and fixations and tunnel vision but sensory issues and social awkwardness and repetitve movements, things that very clearly separate him from his family and make him less of the Perfect Son he is expected to be.) 

Another thing I’d like to ramble about is Donnie, his autism, and his relationship with his brothers and his dad….you mentioned in an ask that he doesn’t know he’s autistic but that may change when he starts living with the Hamatos. This made me think about how Donnie’s brothers react to his autistic traits in canon versus in tlp (assuming that no one knows that Donnie is autistic; they just know that his brain works Differently than the rest of theirs). In canon, Donnie has lived with his brothers for his entire life. His brothers know his habits, his preferences, his sensitivities, his moods, etc. He may be Different than the rest of them, but not so much that they think about it for more than 5 minutes. Donnie is their brother - any “weird” behavior is not too different from how how he usually acts. Donnie may be weird but they all are in their own ways and it’s not a big deal to them. His brothers are used to accommodating his needs and dealing with his moods. However, in tlp, Raph, Mikey, and Leo don’t know him very well yet. They’ve never lived with him before and when they do accept Donnie into their home as an Official Brother (a development I’m very excited for), they also can’t help but immediately recognize the stuff that makes him Different from the rest of them (if they’re the ones that recognize that it could be autism, than it’s Differences in a way that’s Familiar, if that makes sense). Differences that aren’t just unhealthy habits and mindsets from his previous shitty living situation. Obviously they can be accommodating but it would understandably take longer to adjust simply because they’re not used to Donnie’s specific quirks. They don’t know right away what makes him uncomfortable, or what textures he prefers, or why he moves and talks and acts the way he does. It’s a learning experience for everyone. 

As for Donnie and Splinter….they make me so emotional!!!! Your art of the two of them is so so good and captures that emotion. When Donnie lives with the Hamatos, everything changes. Anyone would have difficulties adjusting to this huge change, but I imagine for Donnie it’s a lot harder. How do you cope with leaving your mother, your only family member you’ve known your entire life? And now suddenly he has to stop being His Mother’s Son and become His Father’s Son, another role he has to create and adjust to (he doesn’t realize yet that his father doesn’t need Donnie to try to be someone he’s not - he loves Donnie unconditionally, just the way he is ;-;) because having a role to play is familiar to him, the only familiar thing he can cling onto during these huge changes in his life. Unfortunately though it just makes everything more exhausting, not only coping with the move into a literal sewer but trying to act like a perfect son for Splinter. Donnie doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t have to mask in front of a parent or meet impossible expectations to “earn” parental love and approval. Meanwhile Splinter sees how Donnie acts with his brothers (much more casual because Donnie doesn’t feel as if he has to “impress” his brothers the way he has to with a parental figure) versus how Donnie acts with him and thinks he’s doing something wrong, that he’s the one giving off an impression to his new son that he has to suppress his stims or say the “right” things or do stuff that makes him uncomfortable because he thinks it’ll make his parent happy…..but I have faith that this pressure eases with time, that they get more comfortable around each other the longer they live together. Eventually Donnie won’t be hesitant or embarrassed to take off the mask in front of his father. Maybe one day he’ll get rid of the mask around his family entirely!! Either way I’m excited to see tlp Donnie’s journey :) thanks for sharing your au with us!

HI THIS IS BEANNARY SPEAKING NOW wow this was so much and im sooooo glad that you are enjoying this au! And for real its so flattering that you like?? wrote all this about my silly au this has actually been the only thing that I could think about since you asked if you could send this in and yeah it’s just really nice to see that people like my comic and this little separated au that i dreamed up

One of the big differences between canon donnie and tlp donnie is tlp donnie’s ability to mask really well. When he was a kid, a lot of his stims were cute and adorable so Big Mama didn’t like encourage them? but let him you know stim freely since she thought it was cute, but as he got older and he kept on stimming in obvious ways she started really hounding him to stop. I do really like the idea of donnie starting to stim in more subtle ways, and im definitely going to try to incorporate that in some of the comics! He still needs to stim, because you know of the autism, and so he does tap his feet and play with whatever little object he can get in his hands when he’s in public. His room is his one safe space where he can really be himself, since its the one spot where he’s not being watched by anyone (his safe space isn’t his lab because what he does in his lab is highly controlled by Big Mama so while he does like being in there and getting to do his science, he’s still pretty on edge since he never knows if his mom is watching him or not). Donnie really loves spending time in his room, though he doesn’t really get a whole lot of time there by himself since Big Mama has filled his schedule with as many extra curriculars as possible so she can show him off all the time). But speaking of his room it sure would be bad if something happened to it! Sure would be bad if it was destroyed in some way thereby destroying his one safe space! Haha! ;)

And no! Donnie does not know how to cope in healthy ways! He is very good at figuring out when he is about to have a meltdown and at figuring out a way to subtly get out of a situation so he can go recuperate somewhere in private, but even then, he can never spend a whole lot of time to himself because if he ever disappeared for an abnormally long amount of time, it would draw attention to himself and more specifically to these meltdowns that he’s having and he really wants those to stay off of Big Mama’s radar since if she knows about them then that’s one more thing for her to criticize and then it’ll be even harder for him to deal with them with his mom now being aware of them. And yeah he does know about autism but he’s still like no it simply could not be me but in that way where he’s like 99% sure he’s autistic but is just refusing to acknowledge it so he can keep on pretending to be ‘normal’. if that makes sense alksdjfh

Living with the Hamatos is going to be very hectic and scary for Donnie just because of how different their home is from his current home. In tlp, Raph also is autistic im pretty sure idk I might change that as the comic progresses but at this point that is what im going with but just havent had a whole lot of time to develop, but that’s part of the reason why the hamatos are so accepting of Donnie, its because they’re already used to living with a sibling who is autistic so all of this is second nature to them, it’s just normal and that really throws donnie for a loop because he’s so used to walking on all these eggshells making sure to act as allistic as possible 24/7 only to be suddenly dumped into an environment where its completely normal and accepted for him to just be himself. And sure it’ll be a learning curve for the hamatos because like obviously not all autistic people are the same but it’ll also be a learning curve for donnie since he’ll finally be able to relax and figure out who he is without having to hide himself all the time. 

Donnie and splinter’s relationship is what im really the most excited to write about. I really want Donnie’s experience leaving Big Mama to mirror Splinter’s experience. And I really don’t want to spoil too much but Donnie is really not gonna like Splinter much at first, and it’s gonna take a while for Donnie to warm up to his dad, but also Splinter is going to be the most understanding of what Donnie is going through because well, Splinter also left an abusive relationship with Big Mama. I dont really want to say much more about their relationship because I dont want to spoil the good angst I have planned but I’m really excited to explore their relationship more!!!!

Also just for the record I have not like proofread any of this so there may be typos or maybe i said something dumb so just lmk and ill fix it aklsdjhf Im not autistic (or am I! I havent been to therapy in a while and I would not be surprised to find out that I am autistic or that I have adhd or something else) so lmk if i said something stupid or phrased something in a dumb way and I cannot emphasize how fast I will fix it 

Ok bye now!!! this was fun!!! and thank you for sending this in!!! Idk it just really warms my heart that someone out there is thinking about this silly au this much, makes it feel like all the work ive put into making this comic is worth it :)

[black-salt-cage]

sorry it took me a while to come back, the replies are right, and i didnt use any specific labels because its a super wide range of people and labels, i asked because you said radqueer DNI and sometimes people will include anyone who has a trans identity outside of gender in that- regardless of if we're radqueer or not. I wanted to make some stimboards with these gifs, i wouldnt have asked otherwise, im really sorry for the confusion. I have that like, "autism made me super scared of being misunderstood" issue. i know i shouldnt ask otherwise i was just worried because of that because radqueer doesnt really have a solid definition and sometimes people include things that arent inherently radqueer. i have race dysphoria myself and consider myself trace (lots of us dont use the term transrace because of the problems it raised with 'transracial adoptee' so it gets shortened together to trace, tracial, etc.) and im more than aware that my like, life. is controversial. same with my transpecies friends. sorry for asking, i really wasnt going to, and i get no pleasure from asking these, im sorry if it seems i was trying to start anything. im just really used to violent hate so i get nervous/

okay, I'm gonna try and word this as nicely but firmly as possible. If someone gets upset at my response to this so be it, but know I wish to make myself nonaggressive but transparent in what I have to say. I'll be putting this under the cut because this pertains to discourse, and if you don't want to see it just skip this ask.

If you identify yourself as radqueer or consider yourself as part of the community then I do not want your interaction. Despite what you may believe, I have seen far too many radqueers show glowing support of maps, aams, zoos, and other such things that I find despicable to support. To any radqueer identifying person that reads this and thinks I'm wrong, you have a right to disagree with me. Maybe you don't support things like pedophilia and zoophilia, but too many radqueers do, and I find that the community itself provides a safe space to such things as the basis of it's beliefs. I'm not sure if you are saying you consider yourself radqueer anon but if you do, I'd like to politely ask you not to engage with us or our content as I don't feel we have any productive words to exchange with one another. That goes for anyone who's radqueer.

For therians or transspecies or whatever anyone calls themselves that may apply to such a category, that is something that I can't say I exactly relate to, but like most things people do with their own lives that doesn't have any effect on anything or anyone other than the person themself, I don't really care what you do.

Now. Here's the part I don't think you're going to like. I'm gonna tell y'all something about myself.

I am white. 100% white. This system is within a white body. I have not and will never experience any form of racism, cultural appropriation, or what have you that could ever affect my life in any negative way whatsoever. What I AM is transgender, and have openly identified as such for more or less a decade at this point. I also live in an area that does not take too kindly to trans people and have had slurs thrown at me in broad daylight out in public because I was very clearly not a cis woman. To quote what you said in your last ask:

"its just there's a lot of misinfo and regurgitated transphobia surrounding the topic, and im no stranger to helping educate and clear away misconceptions, im sure as a profic blogger youre familiar with situations like that."

I find it offensive and, frankly, insulting, that the topic of trace, or transracial, or whatever you wish to call it, would be considered a marginalized group that would fall under the topic of "transphobia". My reality is that I have people in my every day life who weaponize my gender identity against me. I'm sure you hear comments online that aren't very nice. hell, I'm sure you've heard some very mean and nasty ones. I do not think anyone should be harassed or bullied for any reason.

But while you may not realize it, that comment in your last ask was incredibly condescending. I do not need the bigotry I face on a daily basis explained to me. I am very well aware of what it's like to deal with transphobia on a day to day basis, and I don't appreciate the implication that I'd need to be "educated" for not outright supporting something that I cannot blame people for thinking is racist.

I'm not here to tell you what to do, and I sincerely doubt at the end of the day anything I say will change your mind. In fact I anticipate that you probably don't like me one bit after answering and I can accept that. But I cannot say I support it. I'm white and I'm planting my butt in my lane where it belongs, and I have heard many poc speak out against it for incredibly good reasons, and I agree with them. I don't wish ill will on you nor do I know what your story is, your feelings are, or anything of the sort. But I am not the person to go to for validation on this.

So in case it's not clear I'll make it clear now: I don't support the concepting of transitioning to another race, regardless of whatever word you wish to call it

[sporesgalaxy]

My personal experience with ADD/autism/hrt: Anxiety/depression/OCD overlap heavily with ADD/autism. "brain" medications meant for neurotypicals do not work if you have ADD because you need stimulants (try different molecules if you dont like how it feels) I'm on 80mg/week subQ testosterone which improved most of my menstrual issues (I have endometriosis) but they did not disappear until I had a hysterectomy at 10 months on T. I can't speak for the other issues you're dealing with, but your body and emotions are far more interconnected than most people assume, and gender affirming care can be both life changing and life saving. I hesitate to say you have the exact same flavor of ADD+autism as I do because theres a lot of stigma around diagnosis, but understanding my autism specifically has been integral to my ability to survive and heal. I especially encourage you to look into how autism and OCD overlap. Also, I have been following you for years now. I have a deeply genuine and intense admiration for your autistic swag. Your passion and skills are breathtaking. You are one of my favorite artists. The horrors are endless but. we stay silly.

Oh I'm on anxiety, OCD, and ADHD medication all together because for ADHD I use atomoxetine which isn't a stimulant, so I can still take the other medications and they have the intended effect.

But also I know that ADHD symptoms and medication can have a lot of varying effects from person to person, so stimulants may be all that works for some and in that case yeah, the stimulants can screw with other meds unfortunately.

And regarding how much gender affirming care can effect you psychologically: oh man, yeah, that's the wild card and also the most wholly exciting concept for me. The thought maybe some of my constant miasma of anxiety could just go away...life could be dream...

And thanks! But I'm pretty sure I'm not autistic? I've looked into it several times and I just truly don't think I have enough of the symptoms? But you are now the second person to assume I'm autistic... 🤨

There is at least one person in my family who Im preeeetty sure is autistic, POSSIBLY two, so maybe I come off that way just because that perspective is different from mine but still super normal to me & I try to take it into account when I communicate?????? shrug!!!

but also WAUGHH THANK YOU IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY STUFF‼️‼️ 🥺💚 IT'S AN HONOR 🫡

[slymewitch]

Christmas Carol autism rant

Honestly of all the stories and songs and such that get oversaturated during christmas, I unironically enjoy how many versions of A Christmas Carol there are. Not only because its a good story in general, but because unlike something like Rudolph, every single version has a uniqueness to them. The simplicity of the plot allows for so much messing around with the setting, the timeline, the mood, its all so malleable. And then there are the characters. Scrooge, Marley, and the ghosts specifically are all fairly simple archetypes, but because of their simplicity, each variant of the story can expand on said archetypes however they want, heck they can even completely zigzag the archetypes and put something completely different in the slot of one of the characters. Especially for the ghosts. Usually they’ll just go with the archetypes of angel, santa, death, but every single version gives the trio their own flavor. An angel can be a lot of things, like a girl, or a candle, or a dirty taxi driver, or the Eleventh Doctor. But Scrooge himself is probably the most interesting. Compared to the other characters in the story, he’s the one that changes the least between each adaptation on the surface. Grumpy old man, hates christmas, greedy, bad childhood, bad friends, bad breakup, the works. These guidelines are mostly unflinchingly rigid, but the exact brand of bitterness, and the details of the events, are left up to whoever’s writing. My favorite version by far though is unironically the Muppets version. Unlike most other adaptations, Scrooge doesn’t seem that hateful in that version. He still does the same greedy and evil crap as the other Scrooges, but he isn’t as angry as the rest are. You don’t get the impression that he hates anyone, and he seems more depressed than anything else. Even when he outright says that poor people should die, he just sounds done. Like he’s only saying it because he doesn’t care enough to filter what he says. And of all other Scrooge’s he’s the most willing to change. When he’s shown his past he immediately brightens up upon seeing simpler, more familiar times. When hes with the ghost of christmas present and sees the cratchets and his nephew, he makes the least wisecracks of any other Scrooge, and seems genuinely hurt by how lowly people think of him. And when yet to come arrives, he goes with him willingly, knowing that this is something he must face if he wants to be saved. Oh yeah, if you can’t tell, the muppets version is my favorite, the Marleys scene solidified Statler and Waldorf as my favorite muppets and is easily the highlight of the movie for me. But for some close contenders, George C Scott’s version is definitely the creepiest version Ive ever seen and it gives a lot more context about Scrooge’s life than most others. The Ghost of Christmas present is surprisingly intimidating, and dear GOD yet to come gives me chills. It’s strange how much mileage you can get out of a creaking gate sound effect. The Doctor Who version is also a personal favorite for being both weird and clever at the same time. Weird because its on an alien planet where sharks float in the air and can be used to drive chariots, but still SUPER clever for how it screws around with the story. I dont want to spoil too much, mostly because I want an excuse to not explain how bonkers the story is, but the way they mess with the “past present and future” theming is genius, because of course it was this is doctor who we’re talking about. And of course theres Spirited which is also extremely clever with how it messes with the story, but is also just really fun and charming to watch.

I’ve already written so much that I do not have the energy for a well written conclusion so uh, my point is that Christmas Carol adaptations are awesome despite the fact they probably shouldn’t be, and um…stay hydrated!

[jellyfishvibes]

hi jelly! what's your favourite headcanon about flora?

Oh god i have so many, you will be getting a Flora rant

Ok so love me a classic super nerd Flora, absolute grease monkey that girl, would casually rip off the back of the slate and fix something in there without pausing her sentence, I'd also pin her down as a sewing nerd, not just cause she was the one who made all the champions clothes but cause i think she has like a 3d puzzle brain, and both mechanical problems and clothing construction slot right into that perfectly (i have ideas about all the zelda's being some flavor of fiber art girlys but that's an aside thing)

I also!! love dragon traits!! on Flora!!! which is why i've be hesitating with her redesign cause my brain is struggling to figure out the engineer-draconic design marrying without it getting way too busy

Shes totally got autism, her and Wild got that opposite autism disease, he's strong silent very non verbal and shes a massive chatterbox that cant help herself but explain everything, he's super hands on with everything, can't help himself but touch to figure out what stuff is and shes super squiked out by texture and wears her gloves so she doesn't feel any bad sensations, i imagine she whacked off her hair cause she couldn't stand the feeling of it long but like put up with it because of her father/for the princess image? (also maybe inspired Riju to cut her own hair shorter, i love Riju and Flora being besties) Wild loved braiding her hair as a fidget thing and grew his own out cause he liked hers so much, I think she began to understand why he liked that so much when she cut her own and used her hairstyling knowledge on him, it's way more fun to do it to someone else then to wear those styles all day you know?

If she keeps some form of scales after totk i think she picks at them as a nervous habit (and probably gets multiple slaps on the wrist from Wild to not pull them for research Zelda please-) i also really like the idea of her like, back spike guys? being like fingernails, it that she still has the crystalline spikes back there and so she can still lie down on her back Wild helps her chip them down to like flat crystal discs on her back, they still probably grow and they need to be cut off regularly but she probably has a tonne of the crystal lying around and makes stuff out of it, also the antler horns! (this is not from my love of scott empires rivendell shut up) she keeps the antlers! and they have actual deer antler stuff! like they will just randomly fall off! and they will be super velvety when they regrow! the image of the soft velvet falling away to reveal like glowing holy crystal underneath is a sick af image and also its horrifically gorey looking cause the velvet has alot of blood vessels in it, i dont think its painful? it just looks like a horror movie lmao

I have some stupid ideas around both Wild and Flora having adhd, in the sense that Wild had the inattentive type and Flora the hyperactive type before everything, Wild being a knight spaces out very easily, is terrible with organizing his personal quarters, boredom is a mind killer and find focus on instructions and tasks near impossible, Flora as the princess with the weight of the world on her shoulders struggles with fidgeting and standing still, being impatient and acting out of turn, by 17 she had social rules all but beaten into her and is kind of living in a personally design hell, but after Wild comes out of the Shrine of Resurrection and after Flora wakes up from the 100 years of sealing Ganon and the millennia being a Dragon, they both now have the combined type lmao, being trapped for so long outside of time has made focus for Flora hard and fucked with her attention span, she also now spaces out alot, i think it would also have the exact opposite effect, and she would seek out excitement and desperately avoid boredom and quiet

I also think shes got echolalia! her stims are mainly vocal and she will absently repeat fun phrases she hears, Purah is a terrible person for her to hang out with because of it, she has called Wild 'Linky' without realising multiple times and he doesn't have the heart to tell her About Purah, her and Flora get on like a house on fire and its terrible for everyone around them

I personally love some exploration of botw/totk and the power/wisdom/courage goops, i'd think flora would put alot of research into the blue shiekah energy and canonically she was looking into the malice/gloom, i'd love her looking into the green Zonai energy and the purification chamber that mummydorf was being used as a battery in and the conversion between the 3 goops (i need to stop or i will start ranting about gods and divinity speculation again) all this to bring up the fun images in my head of her using the glowy blue water in like attacks and animations an stuff like Wilds ascend, if you've seen the kda more music video the little glowy finger trails would be cool for her or even like full steam punk mechanical stuff with tubes full of the stuff, considering that the blue stuff stores information and how she uses her own tears as a dragon to store her memories a collaboration with the Zora and Sidon specifically who can control water to make a more robust storage system that cant be destroyed in a calamity style cataclysm would be cool, like Monomon's archives in Hollow Knight if you know of that, you could even crystalize it to be like the Zora history tables?

I really like the idea of Zelda needing like reading glasses? maybe some lingering weirdness from the dragon eyes or she just reads too much, she has a pair of glasses she doesn't wear very often for reading and for looking at small machinery components, maybe some form of prescription goggles made by Purah? I think she probably has needed them for a long time but only actually started using them recently, i think shes a thin wire frame with smaller rectangular ish lenses kinda gal, very perched low on her nose while sitting reading in bed

I'm going to force myself to stop here cause if i don't this will forever sit in my drafts as i think of new things to add to it

[awellboiledicicle]

My partners were appearantly concerned I would get too tied up in lore and overarching plot when it was my turn to steer our sexy ttrpg.

What with my world building autism and all.

Which is fair, but it does conveniently forget that I am first and foremost a writer. Making things flow certain ways is very much a thing I can do.

But what they dont know is that I'm pouring all my desire to flesh things out into two things: my PC to the point I'll begin using her, and an imagined campaign three kingdoms over that has nothing to do with us but keeps me from over complicating the breezy rp.

So far my pc is a kholo (gnoll) barbarian mercenary that's 7.5ft tall, 400lbs, and parted ways with her clan because she liked sex and shiny things too much. It just wasn't practical and tbh she kept distracting the other warriors so she wandered off to seek more shiny things. She has hide armor but generally wears a simple loincloth and a poorly done chest wrap. Mostly because someone told her she should wear a shirt and then was too intimidated to say she did it wrong. Shes also aware she did it wrong, she just doesnt care. She spends a lot of her down time making the patrons of a brothe/strip jointl v nervous bc she props up the bar and laughs ominously whenever someone says something too off color about the dancers on stage. Takes cannibalism very seriously bc of her culture. Is brutal to the point of being excessive when she decides something must die. Is rather intelligent, but has poor judgment for the very long term ramifications of her actions. Sneaky. Very aware the effect she has on people.

Her name is Brax. She picked it herself when coming to the city.

Meanwhile the unrelated campaign is just four bozos trying desperately to take down the newly minted god of hedonism. Not because she's evil or anything, but she keeps randomly turning lakes to wine when people make her happy. The four bozos are ecologists of different specialties that would like her to chill the fuck out. It's a quest instead of just asking a priest to talk to her because she's been having a heavenly house party since she popped into the divine realms and her phone is off. The lake thing is when she feels someone celebrating extravagantly, even if it's only fancy to them. So she doubles down trying to keep the party flowing.

The goal is essentially to crash this house party long enough to explain that fish can't breathe wine.

But since Pathfinder gods are uh. Like That sometimes, everything leading them up to the confrontation is painting the picture of a god gone mad with power. First stretch of the campaign is researching through the old zombie filled tombs and dungeons that were used to research the last Can Fuck Up A Whole Celestial device used for killing Angels. And then a quest to find a sufficiently advanced artificer that can 1: remake it and 2: make it Stronger for god subduing NOT KILLING SUBDUING. But the first angel that got got this way finds out and shes fallen since then and is PISSED this is happening. So now it's a quest to either fight her off while transporting the weapon OR finding some way that she'll buy they mean to destroy the thing/hide away the knowledge of how to make it so it doesn't turn into a war on the gods. Which she mostly cares about because of her own grudges. So you also have to keep her from actually getting it.

Then the party has to actually break into the right realm shes in and not overshoot into space or the fairyland or wherever elves are from. Stealth optional.

Then its resisting the Party Aura long enough to talk her down or kill her or seduce her or whatever works. This may involve very sloppily drunk angels. It may involve Eldritch Ichor Shots she got from an outer entity that make her skin tingle and mortals experience fifteen lifetimes in the span of swallowing it and has a minty aftertaste. Mayhaps chips. Dunno yet.

Basically I'm having a lot of fun already, is my point.