#i dont know if i believe in dreams being signs or anything but should i message him?

[august--and-everything-after]

Had some proper wild dreams last night. In the first one, I was at a huge store and ran into some old coworkers including [REDACTED] and we had this lovely reunion. In the next one I had just moved into a new house and was having some different old coworkers over and it was so nice to see them, but then more and more people started arriving and the house kept changing, and [REDACTED] showed up again, and so did my high school best friend who I haven't even thought of in so long. I kept making rounds to check on people and kick out all the randos who were showing up but kept going back to talk to and check in on [REDACTED] and we were just about to take a walk outside the party together when the phone woke me up.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT 2.

If you want to know about your gifts, talents and skills you should check out your sidereal chart as each planet holds a lot of detail on the mind-spirit-body connection. It shows a lot of your personal power from each planet and sign and how they all fully come together to make you, you.

Capricorns are naturals at the occult. They hold a lot of deep knowledge about how this world works and they express the duality of it very well. Most think that capricorns are built on just the law and while they are, they know that their are rules that can be broken. Capricorns are an interesting bunch, they know just how to be successful in anything that they do. Getting closer to the higher ups because they just that 'it' factor of being the boss. They dont 'kiss ass' per say, they just know how to play the game. And another thing about the game, capricorns know thats what we live in. So to play the game, they learn to become the chess master.

5th house scorpios can make anything interesting in this house. Games with them can be slightly taboo. Could have a lot of sex partners. hidden secrets around children, their love life and the type of games they like to play. An observation ive seen with scorpio 5th housers is that BDSM and weird kinks/cosplay could be a thing.

5th house uranus will have some pretty interesting kids. Will Smith has this placement for example. People with this placement are gonna have to understand that their children are going to be a totally different version of them and thats okay. Unique individuals, they can create fun and new games for people. You could be the next person to make a new board game or something a long those lines. Video games? New toys? Theres a business mindset here that needs to be touched on with these placement holders. You guys can really create new, whimsical worlds for people to enjoy!

Neptune in the 8th, spiritual realms open up to these individuals. They do not sleep. No I mean literally, their dreams take them to new dimensions all the time and they come back finding out new information from these worlds. Even their waking life is like a dream, connecting it all together. May be prone to getting psychosis due to the consistent stimulation to their third eye. Its a wild ride for these kids, if you have a friend with this placement gon' head and check on them.

10th house Saturns & Jupiter placements have self mastery written all in their chart. Whatever it is they came out to do its been done before in many other lives. If you believe in past lives, then im talking to you.

10 house jupiter individuals are natural geniuses finding their way through life. They focus heavy on community and love to learn more about how they can help them, what they can bring to the table etc.

Mars in the 8th house is a strong placement for jealousy to occur. These individuals know what they want when they want it. Highly passionate in nature, they most create a routine where their energy can be tapped into on a daily or they'll suffer burn out. Or worse, become a sex maniac. All your energy can not go to sex, it has to go to something that sustain you. Whats your purpose? goals? get into it. thats where most of it HAS to go to.

Venus 6th house need routine to be in order. Some chaos here and there but not too much in your day to day. Your minds needs to follow your passions and purpose in order to feel stable. Focus on something that makes you pay close attention to detail. Something that forces you to take your time.

People with this placement normally have the cutest pets :) and they get the most compliments all of the time.

[angel---eater]

thinking about plural dirkhal again in terms of their sense of self and their loneliness and the ramifications of their loneliness and how that could be leading into ult!dirk's potential end game in hsbc,

dirk being permanently awake on derse and able to be active in both 'waking' and 'dreaming' states can SO EASILY be read as dissociation

very very similar to being on front while also keeping an eye on the headspace and what's happening inside it. and a handful of pages next is why i think he's dissociating

the text really speaks for itself at this point. but im also thinking.. okay, roxy and jake are in very similar, totally isolated and dangerous situations, could they be read as legit plural too? jake, yes. roxy, i dont think so

jake is very very in his own head anyway. boy kisses his posters and has imaginary fights with his best friend in his own brain about it both before and after BGD is a thing, and who knows how often or for how long he does this on the weekly. jake has weird brain shit going on anyway so its also very easy for us to see him as plural. and ill take a little side tangent to explain in brief why i think thats a thing to consider

theres very real reason to believe that along with needing to be predisposed to dissociation, there might be some brain chemical type neurodiversity more in line with stuff like autism/ADHD/ADD/etc* that also makes someone more predisposed to plurality. and i'm mentioning this specifically because if we read dirk+hal and jake as plural, then their plurality was 'created' by something other than extreme physical abuse. this should be a no-brainer but with the state of 'The Syscourse' rn i guess it should be stated that plurality can form from things other than CSA and other acts of violence. DID/OSDD+ are conditions falling under the CPTSD umbrella and oh boy do all the homestuck characters have CPTSD. prolonged stress can kill you if not addressed or treated, its very easy for me to believe folks when they say that no one physically harmed them, but that an unstable enviornment was 'enough' to cause their plurality. anything can traumatize or affect a small kid, especially if that kid is particularly skittish or delicate. complete and total isolation is MORE than enough for plurality to happen in my eyes, not to mention how jake lives in total fear of his surroundings. i think that if jake is also plural, which i do, he probably has a type of OSDD with one distinct introject (brain ghost dirk) compared to dirk and hals DID

there's also the added complication of jake's canonical brain damage, which, i mean. some people recover from brain injuries with entirely different tastes in food, like their pallete has literally been rewired. some people recover from brain damage and their personalities and sense of selves change DRASTICALLY**. some folks wake up from comas with the total loss of one or several senses. the brain is fucking weird and we still dont really know everything it can do, and plurality is especially underresearched, and poorly handled when people in the relevent fields DO try to research and study it

which then leaves us with roxy and whether or not theyd also be plural and they just... kind of doesn't show any of the signs to me? he isnt really shown to dissociate, they're not really in their own head like jake is. they overdrink to the point of blacking out seemingly often, as we see dirk and jane reference several times, and they do have strange dreams, but they're moreso dreambubble activity and their own latent void powers. other than that, roxy is alarmingly singlet-coded compared to the other kids who are portrayed with signs of plurality. of which there are many. even their own splinters are very isolated within themselves and not shown to be aware of each other compared to everyone else. they never really have any kind of Moment with a clone, either. which is why i think that, despite roxy sharing trauma with dirk, hal, and jake, that they're a singlet

but looping back to dirk and hal

we rlly do see dirkhal as an intersystem relationship gone very very wrong. they never got a chance to stabilize together. they took the choice of integration*** away from themselves, completely by accident. i fully believe that dirk had no idea what the consequences of creating the AR were. i mean how tf could he- in his 13 year old mind he was just making a cool program. he wanted to do it because he was interested in the process. he wanted to create an AI responsibly, even though he was on the fence about it. jake was the one who pep talked him into it, and callie only started telling her friends about godtier stuff on the day they started the game. he didnt know. and i mean

cmon man

his immediate Sounds kind of stupid. is straight up DID denial to me. 'if i dont percieve it, it isnt real' kind of shit, very literally. if you dont look too close, then your focus just slips away from what your brain doesnt want you to see yet. he was doing plural shit ALL DAY, including talking to himself AR his accidentally escaped alter, and then he outright describes DID in what are probably the only words he has to illustrate how he lives, and he says its stupid LMAO. boy be so for real.

this combined with his refusal and FEAR of acknowledging AR/Hal as a person smacks of pre-system-awareness denial to me. he's so close to true awareness, but something (someone?) in his brain is holding him back. maybe its another splinterself, maybe its an 'original' Hal, still in their system, just locked away under amnesia barriers and forced deeper by dirk's concious and subconsious fear of the accidental copy he made of him in the AR.

dirk and hal should have a good relationship. having a good relation with your headmates means survival, life, and growth for the entire system. canon compliant dirkhal is plural tragedy of some of the highest caliber ive ever come across. they should be together and they're horrified of it, but they're even more horrified of finding themselves ripped apart

and then there's Ult!Dirk, who IS fully, permanently system aware now, and is in the post-awareness SPIRAL. hes fucking tailspinning. he doesnt know how to handle it, and i dont blame him either. i would KILL for ult!dirk to get his own vriska hell arc, i'm really really hoping thats what happens because i HIGHLY doubt anyones gonna kill him. he wants a Just death by dave's sword way too much for the writers to give that to him hahaha. what vriskas arc is telling me is that HSBC is about developing yourself and unlocking your true potential

^^^ page 8006. just the entirety of page 8006. thank you once again davepeta, ultimate self master

dirk has hit some kind of ultimate self, but hes not himself yet. not like how davepeta is, and not like how terezi did it either. i bet you fuckin anything that if he's thrown into The Point, we're gonna see hal. we're gonna see ARquius. we havent seen ARquius in vriska's hell yet, and there should be at least 2 running around- one from the game over timeline, and the other from the diverting timeline that meat!john split off in the epilogues by using his retcon powers, the one who was siphoned into lil cal. ARquius should be here, i mean equius was vriska's ally and friend, and she had a direct hand in creating ARquius. she only heard stories of nana egbert from john when she was 13, and the nanas are there. ARquius should be there, i think theyre just saving him for dirk

*not those things themselves, although a lot of neurodivergent kids are abused for their neurodivergence. there is correlation but not bc simply being autistic makes you more likely to be plural

**again, im not saying that brain damage makes you plural or that plural folk have brain damage. thatd be dumb

***using the term 'integration' not as in any kind of fusion - much, MUCH less final fusion - moreso as settling into functional plurality together. working together as a team, sharing their life. integration done right can be ridiculously intimate even if no one in the system are romantically involved with each other

[hiding-in-the-vault]

isnt this whole wilbur thing a huge warning sign against getting too attached to ccs, because we can never truly know them? why are we celebrating a few fans putting /150/ dollars + whatever the commission fee for the artist was into a birthday present for a guy who just.. doesnt know them? its not like merch or supporting a creator, its literally money in the wind. between this and merch dropping like clockwork but sapnap being the only one actually doing content (and hes clearly just doing it for the kick quota.. sorry but the streams are so lackluster), im getting really disillusioned with the dream team. theyre literally just coasted by because of a hyperdedicated fanbase they dont really seem to give a shit about. people talk about how amazing and kind they are but are they really? we dont know. why are we monetarily supporting millionaires its literally just charity but for rich people at this point, they dont provide any value in exchange. i think people should really consider why theyd rather drop ~180 dollars on a billboard for a rando instead of charity or buying something they want or need. sorry idk i just feel fed up with how much time and money and love i poured into these guys and in response were getting nothing. sapnap didnt even bother to denounce the abuser he used to interact with. i could have donated and actually helped someone instead of buying a fucking hoodie i cant even wear to school because id get bullied.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little wake up call. They are just some guys that stream and make videos. You’d think the last few Situations™ would teach people to simply not put cc’s on pedestals and expect perfection from them. But you must realize that if you’re going to argue against people giving cc’s money, then you need to go all the way back to every single sub and donation they’ve gotten through twitch as well. It’s always been a luxury some choose to do because they get something out of it. They were never forced or tricked into doing it. And I don’t know how the Sapnap billboard was funded, but I donated to the George b-day billboard. Gave up $5 because I thought it was a fun community idea, and it did not impact my ability to donate or buy things I needed. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that. It’s not a streamer's fault that you chose to spend money on them instead of donating.

If you’re upset by the lack of content, then entertain yourself with something else. People have been saying that for ages. If you think their intention is to continue promising content and never delivering just to squeeze money out of fans, then leave. I personally don’t believe that.

Dream believes he does owe us content, but we don’t get to decide when it comes. And you don’t have to give them a dime for it.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago so Im gonna have a court proceeding (? if thats what you call it in english idk) in a couple hours and Im a little bit nervous but the shit I stole was only worth 7€ and it was my first time getting caught so I dont think it'll be too big of a deal. Honestly Im just glad I didnt get caught while I was stealing ~85€ worth of acotar books, because my punishment would not only be wayyyy harsher it would also just be embarrassing, imagine stealing sjm books when theres so many good books you could steal from a bookstore

Anyway, speaking of acotar books, its livebloggin time. Last time, Feyre and Rhysand came to this cabin in the woods/inn in the middle of nowhere and stayed in a room thats so small that you couldnt even have sex in it and then they had sex. not penetrative sex, they just fingered each other. Which is to say Rhysand fingered her vagina and Feyre fingered his wings because god forbid a man be on the receiving end for anything other than a blowjob. Also, I guess Mor, Cassian and Azriel are somewhere else? I didnt wanna say anything about them being gone bc I just kinda assumed they were staying with Feysand but they seem to be gone. whatever I dont care about those guys anyway

Chapter 49

Feyres internal declarations of love and wanting to be with Rhys forever feel very shallow when you consider the fact that 1) theyve only had like 3 months worth of non-traumatic interactions with eachother, and 2) she thought the exact same way about Tamlin and then she DIED FOR HIM and then she left him after barely half a year

'"You know exactly that I would do anything for my people and my family."' 'Your people' consisting of one (1) city

Feyre's pussy feels slightly raw from getting fingered hours ago?? thats not a good sign.

'"I'm not gonna turn away from you. Not from you," I promised him quietly.' honestly, i can believe that, if you can fully forgive someone for physically torturing and sexually assaulting you after like a month or two you can forgive them anything, I have no idea why Rhys would be worried about that

can you imagine if Rhysand got shot with poisoned arrows and he just died right here. Life could be a dream but alas, I live in a nightmare world

I actually really like Feyre going feral over her love interest like this (even if that love interest is Rhys) I dont we're gonna get much more of that in this series so I shall savour it

Yeah, now that she mentions it, how come one ash arrow was enough to straight up kill Andras but Rhysand gets hit by like a dozen and hes just fine after this. I guess it could be that Feyre shot Andras in the eye so it was more lethal than Rhys getting shot in the back and wings but still, afaik there are no longterm consequences from this, like hes not even gonna have to deal with idk, his back hurting at certain points or something

Im not a fan of Feyre being so murderhappy now when she was reluctant to even kill animals at the start of this book, like at a certain point Im not so much bothered by Feyre's character being retconned from ACOTAR but her character from start of ACOMAF

Damn I didnt think the sex would be anything other than a pointless diversion, but here it is, being plot relevant

How come these guys have been torturing him by just stringing him up and leaving the arrows while they whip him, if I was an evil torturer and had just gotten my hands on a guy with wings Im sawing those badboys off immediately. or should i say batboys ahahahha.hahha

Oh, just a splinter of ashwood can he deadly but of course Rhysand is gonna be pretty much fine after being impaled with seven whole arrows

'"And Elain would love [Velaris], I'm sure of it. Although she would probably cling to Azriel the whole time, looking for safety."' smth about that line feels icky to me, I think its the fact that I dont think Elain actually properly interacted with Azriel at this point and also, Velaris is a perfect paradisical city what on earth would she need his protection for there

ughhhh all this bullshit with the dresser is so unbearably annoying

I guess I'll see how this all actually pans out next chapter, but right now I gotta say I dont like the fact that Rhysand's wounds just heal on their own, I couldve used some good whump with him. And Im not just saying that because I dont like him and Im a sadistic little bitch, even though both of those things are true, Im saying this because I think seeing him in a vulnerable position for an extended time would make me like him more

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

Hi Eli i hope you are doing well and i hope you see my questionits quite different from what usually others ask... i have been meaning to ask you this for a long time since it has taken a toll on me but i kept delaying it so i am in my last year of high school just few more months left before my main exams and suddenly the thought of my career hit me suddenly and i ended up overthinking . I really dont know what is right for me and not and what i really wanna do with life and this has put me to an depression as i keep feeling down lately and have a lot of emotional outburst i also came to realisation that i have passion for nothing and also i have 0 hobbies it put me to further depression knowing that i really dont know what to do anymore i was wondering if there is any way my mind can guide me to find my passion and hobbies and also guide me to find the best careers for me to pursue that are really meant for me and i wont regret ... is it possible and how ?

Hello dear!

Oh well you're the same as me, i'm Also in my last year in high school and it getting me so stressed, but knowing the Law is a bless for me.

At first when i was 15 i didn't know what to pursued and what career i wanted since the only hobby i had was being an artist, but i Saw no future for that, since being an artist in my country means no future, no money, (i was Lost) so i started looking for things i was good at.

I noticed that i was more interested in video games, and i noticed i was a Quick learner in things that Specialize in computer, so i thought, why not be an engineer in programming? That seems cool and plus i Can create apps, video games,..ect.

So i'm working hard to graduate from high school with the highest grade.

So i don't know what the major or specialities you have in your country, but try to think with yourself, do you find this career interesting? Do you like it? Does it require for you to work hard?

And you have a plus! You know the Law of assumption, so you'll achieve your dreams.

You Can even Ask your subconscious mind what is the best path you should take, just Ask it before you fall asleep, and it will answer your question in whatever way, it Can be Dreams, signs..etc.

Or

If you want to be rich and have a stable job, you Can choose to Pursued to be a CEO, a doctor, a business woman, an infirmary, a teacher, a social influencer, a youtuber..etc.

But the only problem is that i don't know your passions, your Dreams, your goals.

But let me tell you that you Can achieve them all, now that you discovered the Law of assumption, there's no turning back, you HAVE to manifest that dream life of yours, you were meant to know for more, you were meant to live a better life.

You Can manifest to literally receive money without working.

But it's illogica- SHHH, in imagination there's no such thing as illogical or impossible.

You Can even wake up in a mansion, with your dream family,SP, being rich, having your dream face, body, wardrobe, digital devices, and ANYTHING YOU WANT.

Many people manifested crazy things!? With just imagination!? Can you believe that?! You don't Even have to lift a single finger to literally have everything you ever wanted.

Creation is already finished, there's many versions of you that have your desires, they exist, for Real.

Here's this post, where you will find every post that will make you understand loa really well.

If you want to see success stories check this blog @loasuccessarchive @loaschool

I Hope you'll find the answer you wanted, but remember to not give up, because in the end you'll feel so thankful that you persisted and got the dream reality you desired to have.

Have a nice day! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Xoxo, Eli

[toxycodone]

i understand its all joaks and its lighthearted out of love for this character but it is a little sad to see things like laios being a minimum wage worker and having no friends being described as him being a loser when theyre extremely common autistic experiences 💔 because to be honest i think youre really cool and a great writer and i would like to interact more but it makes me go, is that what you would think of me? my life situation’s not too different from that. anyways i hope you have a nice day <3

no not at all I genuinely like being mean to Laios so take everything I say about him with the world's biggest effing grain of salt because I am just. mean to him in particular lol. i like to kick him when he's down. (evil and mean but to blonde men in particular)

but like. i am not cool at all. like...........ill put it under the cut but yeah.

real shit under the cut bc this ask is making me think! im gonna be real w u nonnie

tl:dr if u dont wanna see whats under the cut:

this ask kinda makes me think bc. i think im really mean to laios too bc he reminds me of myself beforehand (zero self confidence and suicidal idealization) sigh and I really hate being reminded of that. so. again. im really biased when it comes to him specifically and that doesn't apply to you or any of my followers.

and for what its worth i am sorry for making you feel that way.

but also. i gotta say I can 100% relate to him and you. this time last year I was working at Starbucks ( i could only tolerate 4 hour shifts bc i would get overstimulated and my coworkers lowkey hated me.) and had like. 1 friend from high school and the years before that I spent turbo online being constantly pushed out of friend groups bc i could NEVER get anything right socially. I swear the first 23 years of my life I never lived. i went thru hs and college as a fucking. like. creature I felt like i couldnt connect w anyone because I was too tormented by adhd + autism and i was INSANELY depressed and coping w lack of control by having an eating disorder and being doped the fuck up on stimulants. (MY PCP gave me 56 mg of concerta and 5mg booster of adderall i was fucking tweaking on the daily </3)

but like. i started going to therapy and a psychiatrist who made me quit cold turkey for my own good and we started treating my depression and debilitating anxiety (i was convinced a stranger was living in my house in secret but also that everyone in public who saw me was revolted by me and genuinely wanted me to kill myself jkdhsfskdjh i told you i was tweaking)

anyways. i was a druggie with no goal in life and living in my own head and now like. i can look at myself in the mirror and not think "hey. this fat ugly piece of shit should genuinely die" and now people in real life LIKE me. I have friends. multiple friend groups, actually. WITH NOT JUST ND PEOPLE. LIKE, A LOT OF THEM ARE NEUROTYPICAL. And i am very open about being autistic with them and i dont have to mask.

and they still like me! and invite me places! and genuinely want to hang out with me! and they think im smart and get uncomfortable when I say im stupid or too autistic to like. be able to be in public.

it still feels like a dream and in my mind im like "they actually are gonna drop you and make fun of you for thinking they were ever your friends" or like "theyre just doing this bc of the stupid buddy system shit or they think you're a pet this is highschool all over again"

but even tho im haunted by this. its....I can say with confidence its not true.

anyways. i know people say this shit all the time but I will say you are very capable of love and not a loser or anything like that. the thing you're missing out on is the right people. i didnt believe this for most of my life and tried to get myself killed because of it but im glad I didn't because it is genuinely true.

i have spent the last <1 year of my life genuinely being alive. and i wouldn't trade it for anything. idk if thats a sign for anyone yeah. take it

[cosmousee]

NEW MOON IN TAURUS MESSAGES FOR YOU~

Hello~

I am back with another one ahahaha, this one is New Moon in Taurus messages for you based on your signs!

(I forgot to clarify to my deck about the sun/moon/rising so take whatever resonates with whatever sign!)

You can follow me on Insta at @cosmousee itself. I usually post the same readings, but if you guys have anything specific in mind, let me know!

Okay onto the reading now!

Earth Signs🌍

Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo

Show the world the real you, Aquarius full moon

Queen of wands and The Star🌟

New moon is a time of setting intentions and defining your goals. Cards are saying it's time, take the step and show the world what you're made of! Queens are wise! You might be taking steps backstage for your self or your dreams. If you want to put yourself out there, this is the time! You're the star baby! Take that step and watch how the limelight finds you in seconds🥰 Queen is the 13th card, which equals 4 and Star is the 17th card which equals 8, it's literally doubling up!!

Fire Signs🔥

Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Your commitment is being tested (first quarter moon) and its time to take action (new moon in Aries) sigh i asked for one more card and then my deck went boom! So yeah here you are with 6 cards!

Judgement, 9 of pentacles, The Hierophant, The Hanged man, The Chariot, King of pentacles

Pheww, the judgement might be coming from your own inner dialogue. You may realise that you can do much more in the things you're pursuing. You're testing yourself of how far you can go. You might change your perspective and change your belief system and IMMEDIATELY see yourself propel towards abundance which you already knew you could achieve. You just needed a new angle to look at things, some things to add or release from your belief system. It's not that you weren't abundant before, but this change has sent you straight to the King of pentacles from the 9 of pentacles. So take your time love, and don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing everything just perfectly🥰🌻

Water Signs🌊

Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio

dont let your past hold you back (south node) Ofcourse, let me just start by saying, you guys are WATER!!! It flows forwards~ learn everything from the past and move forward love~

4 of cups, 6 of wands, Wheel of Fortune, The Hermit, 10 of pentacles and King of pentacles

You're looking at the things of your past when spirit is desperately trying to make you look towards the future! They're giving you a cup and you might be missing that! You've done your hermiting and its time to get up and get moving. Wheel of fortune is on your side but it won't move until you do! You gotta give it the energy to provide you with luck and abundance! Try to look forwards towards the future where you're celebrated, where you are healthy (mind, body, spirit everything) you're full of energy and financially as well. You're at the top of the world, just gotta let go of your past, whether it was good or bad. Its not to say you should just dump it and move on. Be gentle, take your time with your goodbyes and move at a pace which works for you🔆 Also got October from this, might be important!

Air Signs💨

Aquarius, Gemini, Libra

Believe in the impossible (blue moon) and Emotions are running high supermoon 7 of wands, 8 of swords, Ace of swords and 3 of wands

Are you guys having a difficult time with yourself and other people as well?😶Or maybe people are spewing unsolicited advice or throwing jibs at you which is then seeping into your own inner dialogue. You gotta believe in the impossible right now, honey. Yes it might feel impossible to get out of this rut, especially if the people fighting with you are close and dear to you. But keep holding on and keep doing you. A breakthrough is RIGHT THERE, you might get some sort of an epiphany💡 or an idea and you'll go BAM! I DIDN'T THINK THIS COULD BE DONE! But there you are, with an idea in your head and hell lot of potential to pursue that idea. This might be an idea of how to handle the conflicts or a way to avoid it all together, or show them that their claims make no sense because now you have proof! Keep going love, don't let this deter you from what you want to do, keep your spirits high⬆ and everything will fall into place~

[velvetporcelain]

ma'am? please call me babycakes.

meh. I am present, yet idle. dinner needs to be made soon so I try and shapeshift. what if I am always trying to be something I'm not? cooking, cleaning, mother?

what if I am, in fact, very disciplined? it would make sense why I crave chaos.

I still have thoughts. I still have questions.

but do they matter? I get tired of all the spiritual jargon going around. I cant look at the internet the same. my vision is tainted, which is advantageous. I am always the victor. I think the bad happens so you can see the good. do we choose to see the good or do we stare evil in the eyes? is this what they mean when they say heaven and hell is just a mindset? what you think, you become.

I desire to become nothing. Please do not think of this as a statement of self pity, because it is not. It is a statement of emptiness. an emptiness that allows room for all that moves through me without exploding. there is no room for war.

should you ask a persons permission to love them? what is it about love that makes us feel trapped? loyalty? desire? addiction? instinct? love is free so they say. but they dont tell you what it costs you to get there. to get to that mindset of letting love go. holding on loosely. dare I dream of something obsessive. I really need to be careful for what I ask for. If I keep thinking this way, I will pay attention to every sign that says to do so.

Think about it. Women want to be loved so badly that we want to be kidnapped. Thinking that we are something fucking special. HA. I mean we lose the ability to judge, loves blind much? Woman can bypass this terror because they are convinced that it's role-play, and her life really isn't in danger, until it is. I am walking a fine line. We love being that pretty prey, but only by someone we know?

Why are women so obsessed with true crime? why are women a vessel of suffering----- made to betray herself in order to save man. eve eats apple. sin. sin.sin. blood. blood.blood. betrayal. I cant believe people actually think a menstrual cycle is a curse.

one time. my male German Shepard jumped through a window for my female once.

do humans have the same instincts? are we looking to spend our lives with someone or are we attaching ourselves to security. emotionally. mentally. physically. what if youre with the wrong partner because of that? Or what if life isn't that serious? Settling is what humans are really good at. We've been doing it since the beginning of time. when did we ever become content as a race? it seems nothing is ever really talked about but the collateral damage of the law. What happens when Jesus is no longer our savior? what I mean by that is, when people decide to stop believing that anything could possibly save us from ourselves. is that the rapture? I like to think that language and words meant very different things. What the Bible written in English originally? Who translated this? wouldn't be unfair to say that they could even compare. our vocabulary compared to theirs? the times? the era? the age? the fact that NO ONE WAS FUCKING THERE. lol

you can say anyone is god. I want to know what happens when you take a test group of babies and for their entire developmental lives you don't tell them about religions. I want to know what happens then. WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

I'm still vibing off my morning. I love existing, it's honestly pretty cool and love when the art of being present disguises itself as idle time, "boredom." look what I have done. took a single leap down into an entire universe in my brain. a magician's hat. a very deep, deep black hole of infinite possibility. Infinite magic. maybe that's us getting to the top of the mountain. and we all know how heavy it is on the last mile--- what if boredm is a sign of peak progress? It's telling you it is ready to create and find new things. It- being your mind? why does IT crave? what does it really want. I dont believe it really wants all this malnourished entertainment.

what have we done? it has dimmed our shine as a species. so many people living very different lives all waiting for purpose. all while knowing of our own mortality, which only teaches us how to pursue beauty. animals do not know the their surroundings as far as their concerned it's just another day of survival. I dont think animals live, I think they survive.

if you think about it, that's probably what humans did for awhile too. which brings me to my thoughts on what sort of powers or abilites we have lost along the way. I say humans dont know HOW to think. they just think. and that's all they know. I mean no one really stops to think about it because it just always has happened ever since you can remember. what about thinking intentionally? it is a loop hole in the mind. when you think with intention, it results in action, manifestation.

do you think people can be in love with the idea of something?

maybe I was in love with the idea of being in love.

maybe I'm just delusional making me insane and I'm nothing but empty poetry, and universal sift.

I accept thy will.

-x

[solosol]

sitting in my room thinking about the life i want to have. (its hard believing its possible in my current mental state)A question that has followed me and i know follows a lot of people ; ‘what are we meant to be doing?’ ‘ is this it?’ i can answer the second question confidently, no this is not it and the first,well, i am still ruminating on the answer. 

i dont want to grind or hustle. i dont need to. i just want to wake up and be happy, be at peace and live in love. living in a city where everyday i feel less and less valuable because of how much i can produce, has pushed me even further in to the depths of mental illness. i want to live slowly, somewhat intentionally. live to give love and show care to the earth.

in my ideal world, im living in a place where there is no pressure to do anything other than exist. exist in as much harmony as one possibly can. 

aside from my suicidality, i have no desire to live for years upon years in a world where i would be worked to death. somehow i have to make my dream reality next year. why should i do anything else. 

taking photographs is one of my dreams, being famous or well known or being in this fake ‘industry’ should not and does not take away my love for the expression of photography. yes i am not a the fully formed photographer i want to be, but i know i would like more time and more experiences, to see more of this beautiful world.

i really enjoy my isolation. i really enjoy being alone. i can think in a way that isnt overthinking. 

i enjoy only really using tumblr. i care not to be seen or heard anymore, although its incredibly fulfilling when i am. but i can just be here. 

this life whether gift or curse, is happening, its happening now. i only have a few things more to do to complete what feels like the contract my parents made me sign against my will. 

to future Sol Rei, if you read this, i hope youve gone, and i know youre scared, but, youve got to do this, for yourself, to try it. if you stay youll regret it and you know it. you can already see it in your mind like its a future memory. keep dreaming, and bring the dream into reality because you can. you can! 

[causenessus]

hi my loveliness! how’s your morning afternoon or evening !! i miss you so so so much SO MUCH i’m so sorry like hhhh IM SO SORRY BUT I HOPE YOUVE EATEN AND TAKEN CARE OF YOURSELF!! i wanted to send this earlier but after work i was so so so tired and i’m still so very tired but i will try for you !!! the roles are so reverse right now like im fighting sleep and you know what’s so funny? for like an hour i was in and out of sleep and i was imagining myself writing a response and i got so disappointed when i actually woke up and i didn’t </3 BUT ITS A SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE THAT I MUST WRITE THIS !! then i will pass out

todays shift was honestly like… a fever dream because i can not tell you what happened today like i was on autopilot the whole day and i have another shift tomorrow BUT BUT ITS A FOUR HOUR SHIFT !! just a 2:45-7:30 shift YIPPE!! but my coworkers wanna go out after work tomorrow like i hope im not too tired to go but i will 100% update you on that tomorrow, i talked to my manager(girl manager!)about potentially quitting and she was so happy for me I WAS SO SAD BECAUSE SHE WAS LIKE “you’ve been here for so long like we saw you grow up !” AND ITS KIND OF TRUE LIKE IVE BEEN HERE SINCE I WAS 15 SO ITS KIND OF CRAZY and i was like awww now ur making me not want to quit!! but now im gonna quit and fly to the states and work a cute little frame retail job with ness <333333333333333333333333333 AND YES MY STORE MANAGER QUIT OUT OF NOWHERE?? like there’s a group chat for work right and she just sent a huge goodbye message and i was like WHAT and everyone(except for the managers) knew about it like it was such a shocker, unfortunately its NOT the male manager but im manifesting him reading these cutesy little haikyuu x femreader blogs since today he was soooooo DEMANDING !! LIKE !! every second i heard “mango anon do this mango anon do that” LIKE I DONT MIND LIKE it’s my job but it was because like i had a main task to do right but i couldn’t even finish it because he kept sending me on side missions and had the nerve to be like “wait u didn’t do ur main task?” HOW COULD I !! ur sending me on 20 side missions like at this point u should send me to the vents to dust it out!! but i think i am quitting this coming september because i need to start focusing on school more i think but i’ve never quit a job before so im a little NERVOUS BUT BUT OFC ILL UPDATE U !! also i can’t believe your job is making you stay another month LET ME SAVE YOU !! i’ll literally fly to the us and take your shifts for you and you can just sit relax and look pretty while i run around being a hostess(i’ve NEVER been a hostess nor do i know how it works but anything for ness anything anything for you)

update i just fell asleep i think for like 10 minutes but im back so IM CONTINUING (i’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense omg i’m just writing what comes to mind right now)

ness u are the sweetest person ever like whichever higher being decided to give me the blessing of living in the same era as you …. i dedicate my life to them..LIKE THE FACT THAT I GOT BACK INTO HAIKYUU AND FOUND UR BLOG AND I GOT TO ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH YOU LIKE I’M SO LUCKY you’re the best ever ever :(( i don’t want to stress you out with requests but ill keep that in mind because work has been so so so unnecessarily evil lately but having you to talk to has made it a lot easier for sure! and YES THE MEN ARE SO ??? sometimes i genuinely wonder what’s going in their head…. and like in a most polite way ever i feel bad for their wives because like do they not know how to hang up clothes?? is this how they treat their wives?? I HOPE DAMN NOT !! it’s so mind blowing though because in what MENTAL EVALUATION DOES ONE DECIDE “oh i found this RANDOM GIRLS INSTAGRAM and even through in a full grown man, i’m gonna go up to her and shoot my shot!!” LIKE NO??? it was such a bad day like im baffled that one would even think about that?? like im truly baffled, STUNNED EVEN! i appreciate you so much for understanding because i don’t wanna come off as like “she’s complaining about having to do her job!” BECAUSE IM COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW IM BEING TREATED AT MY JOB !! to think these are members of society is kind of scary because like i feel bad when i don’t open the door for someone whose 20 feet behind me like wdym you can give me a pile of your warm WORN inside out clothes?? and to any customer or weirdo who even THINKS of disrespecting you or being weird to you: i will definitely NOT bite your cheek lovingly… i will bite it aggressively and unlovingly and i will very cutely send pieces of your hair to an etsy witch to very cutely hex you <33333333 cutely and politely of course <333333333333333

I GET NOT WANTING TO EAT CHUNKS OF RAW FISH like even the word CHUNKS is terrible but it’s literally what it is !! chunks of raw fish!! NOW IM SQUIRMING AHH CHUNKS AHHH but like i tried covering it up with the other stuff too and it definitely wasn’t that bad but i get not being a raw fish person because that was me too !! also im still on the hunt for cinnamon almond butter! i’ve found some online but they’re like websites i’ve never heard from and personally i do not wanna risk buying from random websites LOL BUT !!! when i fly to the states and meet my favourite person ever (you!!) the first thing i want to do is literally the cinnamon almond butter LIKE IT SOUNDS SO GOOD!! the name and everything(one day for sure) like i don’t care about the american fast food places !! i want CINNAMON ALMOND BUTTER ON A BAGEL !!

also once again you are literally the cutest ever like I WANNA BITE UR CHEEK SO HARD LOVINGLY !! like i know i shouldn’t be but im so scared to actually dm you because idk my blog is ugly(LMAOOO) and im like nervous like so unserious in that matter LIKE SOMETIMES IM LIKE what do i even say ness is too cool for me her inbox is probably filled with other awesome smau writers then THERES ME(like it’s so unserious my reasonings) BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HATE DAYS WHERE I HAVE TO SEND THESE LATE BECAUSE I GENUINELY MISS TALKING TO YOU LIKE WHENEVER I GET A NOTIF THAT YOU POSTED I GET SO HAPPY !!! (no pressure to always post though !! i’m just saying it’s nice to see you’re still alive and well)

AND YES IM A SCORPIO !! i used to try to be into horoscopes but i never did get into it like I TRIED BUT THERE WERE TOO MANY FACTORS AND LIKE wdym since im a scorpio my favourite colour is red🤨🤨 like that type of thing so i was like okay im just gonna take my star sign or something and roll with it BUT UR A CANCER??? LIKE THAT MEANS YOUR BIRTHDAY JUST PASSED RIGHT? oh my god i didn’t send you a cake and a big ol gift i can’t believe it ALSO WHEN YOU SAID FRESHLY 18 I DIDNT EXPECT FRESHLY FRESHLYYYY 18?? thats so crazy oh my gosh i thought you’ve been 18 for a while(idk why i just kinda assumed) literally i will fly to the states right now and throw you a huge celebration <333333333333333333

IF U HAVE PHASMOPHOBIA WE CAN PLAY AND ILL PROTECT YOU I PROMISE <3333333 and everytime i see “you’re my mango anon” I LITERALLY KICK MY FEET AND GIGGLE LIKE it’s so cute because you literally gave me that name too and it’s so endearing to me like i remember you asking “can i call you this” and i was literally so so so so honoured like i was so :((((( (/POS) IDK IT FELT SO CUTE?? also oh my god i just had a BIG flashback and i’m like IM PRETTY SURE IT WAS YOU BECAUSE ILL BE SO SO SO EMBARRASSED IF IT WASNT YOU BUT!!! i remember you posted something before where you were talking about how you disagree about suna and atsumu being portrayed as like playboys since they’re like losers and they’d be smitten with a girl and I REMEMBER!!! I REMEMBER I SENT IN AN ASK (like i completely forgot this happened so i thought our first interaction was the one about the original love notes plot) BUT I WAS LIKE no yeah i totally agree because they’re losers! in a loving way ofc and i see them being absolutely whipped and smitten and YEAH I REMEMBER THAT LIKE IT JUST CAME TO ME RANDOMLY! i remember just scrolling through tumblr and i saw that and i immediately followed you right after seeing that because i 100% agreed with you and i just remember you being such a sweet sweet person and i think that was the first ever time i’ve sent in an anon ask?? i felt as passionate about it as you did and yeah WOW THAT WAS SO LONG AGO TOO (ness if im wrong and it wasn’t you i’m literally gonna start crying but im 90% sure it was you because i haven’t interacted with any other accounts as much)

LITERALLY ATSUMU COME THROUGH WITH THE 4 BOXES OF MAC AND CHEESE !! we literally need to have a 3am sit down at a dinner table eating mac and cheese and talking about tech because i swear i can make a whole book about my experience as a tech kid it was THAT traumatizing and OH MY GOSH IM FREE TUESDAY AND THURSDAY AND FRIDAY!! LET ME FLY IN REAL QUICK <3333333333

RANDOM INTERMISSION!! water break time, cheers with me CHEERS!! (totally off topic but i love ice water so much)

BACK ON TOPIC to the weird chefs at ness’ work… watch your back because i will not be a sweet loving anon to you … i will very VERY politely make sure u will not have hair in 1 year time …. i will literally become your work guard dog and i will be shameless about it!! AND my male manager is kind of like the “scary” manager so i guessssss he isn’t so badwko

(okay update i fell asleep while writing this and its the morning now so im gonna continue)

ALSO IF UR EVER TIRED PLS PLS PLS DONT WORRY ABOUT WRITING BACK !! i can always wait !! i just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating because i love and care about you very very much!

THE CONDOMS AND BLACK MOLD THINGS ARE SO FUNNY LIKE im sorry to break it to you but i fear you are correct… it is just a you school thing BUT actors quitting mid production is like sooooo messy because it means more rehearsals for us since we have to get people to fill in the roles and practice their characters! i always feel so bad for our stage manager because like our director kind of always put a lot of pressure on them? AND I FELT SO BAD BCUZ SHE WAS ALWAYS STRESSED like being a store manager is not for the weak at all!

I LOVE ADOPTING PEOPLE IN THE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!! i was in physics ap in high school right and during my last year i was the only one left in ap so my teacher had me like kind of become a tutor for the ap kids in the year below me(there was 3 of them) and they were so sweet like i miss them so much </3333 i hope they’re well </33333 BUT I LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM LIKE they were my kids !!! i felt like a proud mother when they were doing well and AHHH but me and you literally i don’t like showing people things multiple times AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT GET IT like i know it isn’t their fault because to be honest i think im pretty bad at explaining things but that’s why i VISUALLY show it but when they still don’t get it im like HHHH AHHHHH i do know what to mean by parking the lights!! i had to know a bit of how to do lights since idk lights and sound are linked in that way (like me and you)(soulmates WE ARE SOULMATES) AND I WOULD BE FRUSTRATED TOO IF SOMEONE DIDNT GET IT because i feel like idk it’s kind of …. LIKE IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DOING IT I FEEL LIKE YOUD GET IT?? or i don’t know maybe regina george kin guy is kind of weird like that BUT THE KID YOU ADOPTED SEEMS SO SWEET AND FUNNY LOL i hope you manage to convert her (AND SAVE HER) everytime we talk about tech i miss it so much like if my director asked me to come in to help I FEAR I WOULD SAY YES!! LIKE RIGHT AWAY!! i miss the environment because it was so unserious and like the toxicity between the casts was like watching a tv show right because i was never involved but i heard and watched it all go down so ITS KIND OF FUNNY (you should tell your teacher you know a sounds person)(i will fly in AND i will accompany you)

ALSO TONICS INTRO AHHH IM OBSESSED IM SO EXCITED !! i read it just when i woke up and i was like ness ur so cool ur so so cool ness is so cool AND i will find you your irl sunarin TO TREAT U RIGHT !! or i will simply transform myself and everything to become mister suna rintarou HIMSELF (JUST FOR YOU!!) i will ward off all the weird men for you <333333 just say the word and ill contact the etsy witches i promise you <333333333333333333

HELP THE SLEEPY AND GOD CONVERSATION??? no because literally why are all discord servers the same like everyone playing into the gods role and then there’s that ONE person whose not playing into it(SLEEPY YOU FUNNY FUNNY MAN OR WOMEN)I CAN ALSO PROBABLY FIND A BUNCH OF OLD SCREENSHOTS FROM DISCORD BECAUSE LIKE… a lot of what people said had me genuinely GASPING LIKE SURPRISED BECAUSE IM LIKE oh! oh okay! (the discord quarantine experience is so real and universal i love it)

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BESTEST DAY EVER EVER!! IM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE BUT I HOPE YOU ATE AND TOOK CARE OF YOURSELF !! my life is forever yours like i will hand you my heart on a silver platter I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH i miss you too like when i woke up literally i was like oh my god did i send ness my ask did i even FINISH IT?? (and i slept midway writing it im so so sorry work drained me) also im literally working 6 days in a row right now like… give me that overtime pay to pay for my ticket to see the actual love of my life AND IF YOU WERE MY HOUSEWIFE ID BE THE BEST BREADWINNER EVER AND BUY YOU WHATEVER YOU PLEASE i will make sure you never have to worry about anything i will literally protect and love u with my life and soul and give you all the cinnamon almond butter the world has to offer!! BUT HAVE A GOOD MORNING EVENING OR AFTERNOON NESS!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT GOOD!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

MANGO ANON </33333333333333333333333333333333 AAA HELLO HELLO!! DO NOT BE SORRY AT ALL!! I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND ONCE AGAIN YOUR SHIFT YESTERDAY SOUNDED SO LATE :(( I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO HAVE THE ENERGY TO SEND SOMETHING IN AT ALL!! I WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST ALWAYS <3 so i'm glad ur body was like?? trying to get u to sleep?? or at least made you sleep a little bit before replying 😭😭 BUT I'M GLAD WE WERE IN THE SAME SPOT LMAO last night i think i was trying to write something and once again my eyes would just randomly close and i'd fall asleep for five minutes without realizing it 😭😭 it's simultaneously like the most exhilarating and tiring thing ever?? like i love fighting off sleep and it's always fun waking up like "WHEN DID I FALL ASLEEP? WHERE AM I? WHAT'S HAPPENING" but also like i wanted to stay awake last night!!! but i was super tired </3

I'M SORRY YOU WORK AGAIN TODAY!!! :(( BUT I'M WITH YOU!! i also work a 4 hour shift tonight from 3-7:15 or something like that!! SO WE CAN BE LIKE,, WORKING IN PARALLELS!!! (i have no idea how to word that but hopefully u get what i mean!! i think my brain has given up today so i don't think i'm english-ing very well today in general LMAO) MY SHIFT LAST NIGHT WAS SUCH A FEVER DREAM TOO i'd be grabbing people menus at the speed of light and i was like "i can't believe i know how to do this all" but i couldn't think about it too hard bc it's like when you're breathing and then you suddenly realize you're breathing and then you're like "i do this on autopilot??" and then you can't stop voluntarily breathing yk?? 😭 (SORRY SIDE TANGENT) BUT YOUR GIRL MANAGER SOUNDS SO SWEET!!! :(( AND I'M GLAD SHE'S SUPPORTING YOU QUITTING!! AND I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ONCE AGAIN JUST SHOWING HOW SIMILAR WE ARE MANGO ANON!! bc this restaurant job i've also been working since i was 15 i think!! and ofc i had that little break where i quit before i've had to come back for a few months 😭 (and it is SO admirable that you have worked there for so long i could never!!! you definitely deserve to quit this place with all you've gone through though </33) but it's weird bc like one of my mother's coworkers there is also someone she's been working with since we moved to the state we live in now (when i was just a wee little baby. i think we moved here in like 2013?? idk what grade or age that puts me at and i can't math BUT IK I WAS YOUNG). like they worked at this one sushi place forever and then my mom quit and moved to the restaurant she works at now and this coworker and ended up moving to this restaurant too if that makes sense 😭😭 so that coworker has literally seen me grow up!! and that's crazy 😭 SORRY FOR THE SIDE TANGENET AND I HOPE IT WASN'T CONFUSING

THE GIANT GOODBYE MESSAGE LMAO????? i can just imagine you checking your phone and then suddenly it's a "i have decided to quit. blah blah blah yap yap yap yap yap yap yap. goodbye." message from your store manager LMAOOO (it reminds me of this one fateful day in high school i'm eating my lunch and check my phone and suddenly there's an instagram message from my sister's bf "hey. i love you and your sister so much and i know this is going to be hard for you guys now that we're separating but i just want to say that i'm still here if you guys need anything and don't be mad at her. she's an amazing person and i will always love you guys." NOT ME FINDING OUT THAT MY SISTER AND HER BF BROKE UP [only to get back together a few months later] FROM HER BF BEFORE I EVEN HEARD IT FROM HER??? AND IT WAS THE MOST RANDOM THING EVER LIKE BROTHER IT'S 12 PM ON A WEDNESDAY WHAT'S HAPPENING) THE FACT THAT EVERYONE BUT THE MANAGERS KNEW ???? THAT'S CRAZY 😭 I HOPE THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS MORE DIFFICULT FOR YOU FOR HOWEVER MUCH LONGER YOU CONTINUE TO WORK THERE!!

and yes!! maybe your male store manager should be reading cutesy hq x fem reader stories!!! maybe that'll soften his hard heart <33 he's kicking his feet reading a kenma x figure skating reader smau rn <33 how cute!! MAYBE HE WAS TOO BUSY READING CUTE HQ FICS TO REALIZE HOW MUCH HE WAS BOSSING U AROUND WHICH WOULD BE THE ONLY VALID EXCUSE FOR HIS ACTIONS BC OTHER THAN THAT!! grr bark bark let me at him mango anon!!! i will fight him!!! him sending u on side missions and then being like "wait u haven't done your main mission on top of the thousands of side quests i sent u on??!! how dare u!!" (i love using the words missions and quests now for work I WILL FOREVER BE DOING THAT NOW)

AND HE FR SOUNDS LIKE MY MANAGER!! like okay at my store we have the store manager (old man with a mohawk and jeep with no doors and thousands of ducks on his dashboard and is like never there bc he's so busy trying to also help out/manage other stores bc ig we just don't have enough store managers or something. also he's a little crazy bc i think i told u this but one time this guy came in wanting to frame BLACK CORAL he bought OFF THE STREETS OF SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO [black coral IS ENDANGERED AND SO IT IS HIGHLY ILLEGAL TO BE IN POSSESSION OF IT OR MOVE IT OR ANYTHING] and so we had to ask my store manager if we should even be allowed to take it in and frame the coral bc like?? technically it's not ours?? but also maybe a store shouldn't be doing that?? and he would NOT stop comparing it to "this would be like framing a pound of cocaine!!" and he kept saying it and we were like "OKAY BUDDY!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?? DO YOU WANT A POUND OF COCAINE BEHIND A GLASS IN A LITTLE WOODEN FRAME??" anyway sorry i'll move on, but he's pretty silly), we have like manager #1 that handles all the new employees and also helps around the store, manager #2 that probably does something like that too but idk what it is (and also helps around the store) and then we have "my" manager whose in charge of the framing department (who she's kind of new to being a manager. like basically she worked there and then the old framing manager quit and they begged her to be a manager which all happened right as i was hired). and when i first started she was like "if you close with manager #2 sometimes she'll ask u to help close the store as well" (bc since we're the framing department, we just close our part of the store and the rest of the closers close the actual store if that makes sense) which like!! ig i get!! bc our closing responsibilities are a little bit easier and i don't mind helping!! but also it's not my job and i'm getting paid minimum wage for this!! and even my framing manager said it in a tone that sounded like "yeah this is a crappy thing to make us do so i would never make u do that if u close with me" so i trusted her to not be crappy!! (even though she kind of is) BUT ANYWAY WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS IS LIKE ON THURSDAY SHE HAD ME RUNNING SIDE QUESTS TOO and i was coming into the main office like about to grab paper for our printer AND to ask my manager if i could take a 15 minute break bc i knew she was in there but then she's on our radio like "and ness! will u please sweep THE ENTIRE STORE" (MIND U MY BUILDING USED TO BE A BOOKSTORE AND IS PRETTY BIG. ALSO THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SHE'S ASKED ME TO DO THIS AND THE FIRST TIME I UNDERSTOOD BC THERE WAS ONLY ONE OTHER CLOSER, SO LIKE THERE WAS JUST MY MANAGER [CLOSING REGISTERS], OTHER COWORKER [CLOSING ENTIRE STORE], AND ME [CLOSING FRAMING] BUT ON THURSDAY THERE WERE THREE!!!!! OTHER COWORKERS WHO WERE CLOSING THE ENTIRE STORE SO TELL ME WHY NONE OF THEM COULD TAKE AN HOUR TO SWEEP THE FLOORS SO I COULD GET MY STUFF DONE) AND SO THE PROBLEM is that i was going to ask to take my break!! bc the last of my other coworkers had just gotten off their break and so i was like "cool!! now it's my turn :D" BUT BC I HAD TO SWEEP THE FLOORS I COULDN'T TAKE A BREAK BC IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE and then i closed framing and there's like three minutes left until we close so wtf am i supposed to do in that time so i'm on my phone (and i was also in the mindset of: this is my 15 minute break shortened into three minutes since i couldn't take it earlier) but my manager comes in and is like "erm...what r u doing on your phone." KYS (SORRY that day made me so mad i am now done with this side tangent!! sorry to ramble so long while ur talking about your manager but i thought you might find this funny 😭😭)

and i think it sounds like a great idea to focus more on school!! especially if your work is scheduling you so much and customers are stressful and everything </3 I WOULD TAKE OVER FOR YOU IF I COULD!! EVEN THOUGH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LIKE CLOTHING RETAIL!!! and yeah i mean quitting is terrifying 😭😭 the first time i quit (hosting job) i literally did it over text (felt like one of those fboys breaking up with their gf over text "hey. i think we need to take a break." BARF) and my manager (has made me cry before) literally took me out back the next day and was like "why do u want to quit?? what if we just don't schedule u as much?? or like once your workload as school lightens up u come back??" and i was like "no...i'm done lmfao." (i didn't say that. unfortunately i made up some bs like "oh!! maybe!! i would love to come back!! i just don't know when i'll be less stressed so i'll tell you when i'm doing better [which would be never] :)") and my second job (fast food job </3) i did print out some google doc two weeks notice template and they literally could not care less and i didn't care so it'll be ok!! and it sounds like your manager was super nice about it so that's good!! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU MANGO ANON <33 WE COULD HOST TOGETHER!! WE'D BE THE BEST DUO EVER LITERALLY LIKE I THINK THE WORLD COULD PAIR US UP AND THROW US INTO LIKE A CONSTRUCTION CREW AND WE'D BUILD THE BEST SKYSCRAPER EVER DESPITE NO PAST EXPERIENCE. LIGHTS AND SOUND DUO? THAT'S US <3 HOSTING TOGETHER? WE CAN DO IT <3 BUILDING HOUSES?? AN EASY TASK FOR NESS AND MANGO ANON!!! <3

AND LMAO DW ABOUT MAKING SENSE AT ALL!! i will always be able to follow mango anon i am convinced we are literally two peas in a pod <3 on the same wavelength and everything!! and that was me last time i answered and lowkey how i'm feeling today 😭😭 i just write whatever pops into my silly little brain!!

AND YOU WOULDN'T STRESS ME OUT AT ALL MY LOVE <333 I'M SO SO SO SO GLAD I GET TO INTERACT WITH YOU!! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE I LOVE TALKING TO YOU EVERYDAY <3 LOWKEY I ENJOY GOING TO MY HOSTESS JOB ESPECIALLY (since that seems to be where all the drama happens LMFAO i love u food industry) bc i'm always in the mindset of "omg!! what can i tell mango anon happened today <3" or something happens and i'm like "I'M TELLING MANGO ANON ABOUT THIS" like i love everyone!! but everytime someone asks me how my day is sometimes i purposely keep things away...so that when i talk to u i can tell u everything that happened if that makes sense.. (i'm sorry to ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN MANGO ANON READING THIS I LOVE U ALL AND I LOVE TALKING TO U GUYS BUT ALSO I REALLY REALLY LOVE MANGO ANON) so definitely pls lmk if you want me to write you anything!! i would love to ESPECIALLY IF IT CAN HELP MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!! but i cannot tell you how much it has also helped me to talk to you!! i love to hear about your days and hear your replies and literally everything i love you so much mango anon <33

DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT BEING POLITE TO MEN!! THEY DON'T DESERVE YOUR POLITENESS literally men are the worst!! i don't think there's anything going on in their heads!! and i definitely feel bad if any of them have a wife and how much they probably have to do to make up for their lame excuse of a husband </33 AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOW YOU COME OFF EITHER MANGO ANON!! ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS VALID <3 DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!! IT IS ALWAYS VALID TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR JOB AND HOW YOU'RE BEING TREATED THERE!! ALL OF THAT IS REAL AND CAN BE STRESSFUL!! and once again i'm glad you may be quitting soon!! so that hopefully you can alleviate some of that stress!! ETSY WITCH HEXING IS SO SO CUTE <33

AAA CINNAMON ALMOND BUTTER <33 DO NOT WORRY!! I WILL FLY TO U AND BRING U MY FAVORITE ALMOND BUTTER AND BAGELS!!!! AND DEF DW ABOUT LIKE FINDING IT ONLINE 😭😭 when i first started buying cinnamon almond butter and had to get it off amazon/the brand's sketchy website tell me why each jar was literally like $13????? i think the one i buy now is like $7 so i feel like that's a bit better 😭

AND PLEASE!! NEVER WORRY ABOUT LIKE YOUR BLOG OR DMING ME OR NAYTHING <33 OR OFC JUST MAKE A BURNER ACCOUNT 😭😭 BUT I PROMISE YOU ARE JUST AS AWESOME AS EVERYONE ELSE (if not more awesome!! teehee <3) AND HONESTLY I LOVE SEEING U IN MY INBOX BUT LAST NIGHT I WAS LIKE "i wish i could check in on mango anon 😔 but i have no way of messaging her first" BUT ALSO I LOVE OUR DYNAMIC!! I LOVE THAT U SEND THESE AS ASKS BUT I WILL BE HAPPY AS LONG AS I TALK TO U!!! I LOVE KNOWING U ARE ALIVE AND WELL ALSO!! <3 I WILL LOVINGLY BITE YOUR CHEEK AND NOT SO LOVINGLY BITE YOUR BRAIN'S REASONING AND INSECURITIES!! BC YOU ARE AWESOME MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU <3

AND AAA OMG I LOVE SCORPIOS!!! I ALSO NO LONGER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOROSCOPES LMAO LIKE I USED TO BE REALLY INTO IT AND THEN KIND OF FELL OFF ("wdym my fav color is red bc i'm a scorpio" LMAOO THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD) BUT I DO KNOW SCORPIOS AND CANCERS ARE LIKE SUPER COMPATIBLE!!! LITERALLY WE ARE TWIN FLAMES LOOK AT US <3 AND YES my birthday did just pass 😭😭 this is so scary like i hope not a lot of people see this bc i feel bad but like i def did just round up when i started putting my age on my blog bc i was like "i'm almost 18 anyway whtvr!!!" (i had under a month </3) I PROMISE I'M NOT A BIG LIAR i don't even want to like make excuses about this bc it was super stressful for my on my birthday bc i was like "do i pretend to be 19 now?? or just keep rolling and hope no one thinks abt the fact that i'm a cancer??" but i wanted to be honest as possible and everything yk 😭😭 so i'm sorry i rounded up for a little bit AAA sorry i hope that's okay i've never mentioned this on the blog before but i feel safe with u mango anon 😭😭 so i'm saying this here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT DON'T LET THAT GUILT TRIP YOU OR ANYTHING JUST YELL AT ME IF THIS WAS A BAD THING FOR ME TO DO OR ANYTHING I'M SO SORRY (i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry pls know i'm so sorry idek what to say but i just hope this wasn't upsetting to find out?? idk?? i'm sorry </3) I WILL BE THROWING YOU A BIG CELEBRATION WITH A BIG CAKE AND ALL THE PRESENTS IN THE WORLD IN NOVEMBER!! <3

PLEASE IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO PLAY PHASMOBIA TOGETHER!! I'VE NEVER PLAYED IT BEFORE AND DON'T HAVE IT I'VE JUST SEEN CLIPS OF PEOPLE PLAYING IT AND I'D BE SO SCARED TO PLAY IT 😭 BUT IK IT'D BE FUN WITH YOU!! AND AA I'M SO HAPPY I COULD GIVE YOU THE NICKNAME!! IT'S SO SWEET AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH <3 AND YES!!!! THAT WAS ME I MADE THAT POST ABOUT SUNA AND ATSUMU BEING LOSERS IT WAS THE DAY I WAS LOCKED UP IN A ROOM FOR LIKE 7 HOURS TRYING TO GET MY HAIR DYED RED AND WAS GOING CRAZY 😭😭😭 AND I REMEMBER YOUR ASK TOO BC I WAS SO SO HAPPY TO SEE SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME!! bc i was like scared to show that opinion bc it genuinely felt like entering the community of people who are obsessed with suna smoking and being like "suna doesn't smoke" YK LIKE I FELT LIKE I WAS LITERALLY THROWING MYSELVES TO THE WOLVES BUT THEN U AGREED WITH ME AND I WAS LIKE "OH THANK GOODNESS!!" i am forever thankful to tumblr and the world for letting that post come across your feed!!! BC I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE MANGO ANON <33

AND LITERALLY!!! PLEASE TALKING ABOUT TECH TRAUMA OVER 3AM MAC N CHEESE (MADE BY ATSUMU MIYA HIMSELF) WOULD BE A DREAM!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU TUESDAY MANGO ANON!! I WILL BUY MAC N CHEESE TODAY <3

i love random intermission!! I LOVE ICE!! I LOVE EATING ICE!! AS U READ THIS MAKE SURE U DRINK SOME WATER!!

MANGO ANON I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING SLEEP AFTER WRITING THIS 😭😭 THE WAY WE WERE LITERALLY THE SAME FALLING ASLEEP TRYING TO REPLY TO EACH OTHER PLEASE NEVER WORRY ABOUT RESPONDING AS WELL!! i love you so much <3 the way you were telling me if i was tired to not worry about replying when you're HERE!! DOING THE SAME THING!! /lh (AS LONG AS YOU SLEPT AND FELT WELL RESTED AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF I FORGIVE U!!)

and yeah omg i'm so stressed for my stage managing duties coming up 😭😭 bc my directors also put so so so much pressure on our stage managers 😭 i remember we did "the tempest" one of my high school years and it was a show that our theatre was basically submitting to try to take to like a thespian conference?? idk if other states/countries do that 😭 and basically bc i was the light board op yk i was always right next to my stage manager and our director would ALWAYS come up and be like "YOU need to do this THIS and THIS and THIS and WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THIS YET? it's YOUR job AS THE STAGE MANAGER" and like she was stressed I was stressed and he was only making it worse bc then she got more stressed out and then i was stressed bc she was stressed and it just was not a good time </33 AND THAT'LL BE ME SOON!!! 😃😃😃😃 i need ur strength mango anon!!! pls come be my sound person 😭😭

AND YES!! LIKE SOMETIMES YOUNGER KIDS ARE MENACES BUT THEN YOU FIND THE REALLY GOOD ONES AND YOU'RE LIKE "omg let me adopt you and just care for you and give you every single thing in the world. u are my child now." OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW I FEEL LMAOO AND I'M SUCH A PROUD MOTHER TOO!! i think i told u this ( i just went back to check so i'm not repeating myself and i did so nvm BUT I ALSO JUST SAW HOW MANY TYPOS I MADE MY BAD 😭😭 I FR THINK IN THE MOMENT "yeah there's no way i made any typos!!" BUT I DEF DID I'M SORRY ) OKAY SO NVM I'M NOT TELLING THE STORY AGAIN I WAS JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW I WAS HELPING THE GROUP OF THE KID I ADOPTED BC I LOVE HER BUT INSTEAD LET ME TELL YOU the other groups in that class were so stressful. mango anon i had a nightmare last night about having to use an angle grinder bc they broke a drill bit trying to make a box and then all of their screws were like poking out the side of the box 😭😭 AND ACTUALLY SO THEY FINISHED MAKING THEIR LITTLE BOXES ON FRIDAY and had to use a piece of lauan (just thin wood!! idk how explain it or how much u know i'm sorry </3) to make like the back of the box AND MY KIDS DID SO GOOD I WAS SO PROUD OF THEM I TOTALLY GET IT <3

i have completely lost any sense of comprehensibility so I'M SORRY FOR HOW RANDOM THIS ALL IS 😭 BUT YES!! WE ARE SO CONNECTED I THINK I TOLD U THIS AS WELL BUT LIGHTS AND SOUND ARE DEF CONNECTED </3 there was one time a group of actors (seniors when i was a junior) asked me to run the sound board bc like no one else was there to do it and i was like "oh!! i never have before but OKAY IG 😃" BUT OMG UR TOTAL RIGHT BEING IN THEATRE WAS LITERALLY JUST LIKE WATCHING REALITY SHOWS?? LIKE I'VE NEVER WATCHED KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS OR WHATEVER THAT SHOW IS BUT I'M SURE IT'S JUST LIKE THAT LMAOOO and that's exactly why it was so easy for my directors to convince me to come back 😭😭 and like it's even better now that i've graduated!! so i feel like i'm on more equal playing ground with my directors and everything!! IF YOU FLEW TO ACCOMPANY ME YOU WOULD LITERALLY SAVE MY LIFE LMAO 😭😭 u could help me co-parent this lovely kid i've adopted!! she could grow up to be a dual lights and sound kid omg <3 MANGO ANON I NEED U TO COME HERE!!!

AND HELLO??????? BECOMING MISTER SUNA RINTAROU HIMSELF??????????? MAYBE YOU ALREADY ARE MANGO ANON <3 I THINK YOU'RE MY IRL SUNA RINTAROU <3 AND I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE FOUND YOU <3 I AM NO LONGER CURSING OUT THE WORLD FOR PUTTING ME IN THE WRONG UNIVERSE BC I HAVE FOUND YOU!!! SO THIS IS THE RIGHT UNIVERSE FOR ME BC I HAVE YOU <3333 I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE TONICS INTROS!! THANK YOU SM I'M SO SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT <33

I LITERALLY KICKED MY FEET READING YOUR LAST MESSAGE MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BEST YOU ARE MY IRL SUNA AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I WOULD BE UR HOUSEWIFE TOO IF U WOULD HAVE ME <3333333 AND I'M SO SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU!!!! I WILL BE WORKING EXTRA HARD TONIGHT TO PAY FOR MY TICKET TO SEE U <33 AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT SHIFT TONIGHT!! I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN LOVE <3 I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL SLEEP AND HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY!! MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK WATER <333

[lacunasbalustrade]

Prev anon sorry for rambling but i just. Its gets my blood boiling when people think women dont deserve to have a choice on what to do with their lives. I don't know your personal reasoning on that, i just hope you can see why being prolife isnt the single morally correct choice and why, in many ways, its misogynistic. And again as i said a kid's disability should never be the why for an abortion because disabled people deserve to live too (im disabled as well), but i dont believe that it should come at thr cost of the mother's dreams/career or even life

hello! thank you for being so upfront with your reasoning and explaining your logic so clearly. personally, i am aware of the controversy surrounding this. but i am not, in fact, strictly a pro-life or pro-choice person.when i reblog prolife posts, one of which your comment seems to be replying to, i am affirming the idea behind the specific prolife post. in this case, the idea that mothers should not abort their children simply because they are disabled. this is a completely different thing from wholeheartedly embracing the ideology. let me be upfront myself here: sometimes mothers don't make good choices. everyone is human, and everyone makes mistakes. everyone who has had a mother must agree that they are far from perfect. in the case of career/dreams. imagine a man, for whatever reason, gets a woman pregnant. for whatever reason, she cannot abort. should he, then, be responsible to take care of her? of course he should. regardless of how it affects his career/dreams, he made a choice that impacts someone else. i feel that it is the same with women who get pregnant. they have the responsibility of taking care of that child, even if they regret that decision. this is not misogynistic. this is equal responsibility to go along with equal rights.

let's imagine that post was about all the people whose parents had them accidentally, without planning, and had to give up on a career for it. there are buckets of them. I'm one of them. would you still say that my mother should have aborted me so that she could have her career?it's definitely distressing. now that there is the technology, it's only natural that people would seek to dislodge themselves of responsibility. it's human. but i would argue that this is a wilful choice, even a selfish one, because these are the consequences of the things you have done, if the sex was consensual.

'There are many women that choose to kill the newborn because they didn't want it. And how many women choose to die by suicide because of that unwanted pregnancy too? (Like, congrats! Now both the child and the mother are dead because she didn't have a say in what to do with her own life!)'

Is there a difference between choosing to abort and killing off the newborn? If the women dies by suicide because of an unwanted pregnancy and this grants her the right to forget her moral obligation to protect and nurture the child, assuming that she wasn't a victim of rape, that basically opens the doors to the moral argument that anyone should be able to do anything they want if the alternative makes them miserable enough. in this case it's a character flaw on behalf of the mothers, not the policy. while I can certainly empathise with their feelings, it doesn't change the fact that abandoning responsibilities you yourself chose by having risky sex. when you do so, you know there is the possibility of having a child. it's a bit too late to say actually, I changed my mind.if you sign a contract, even if the contract is one you regret taking part in, you are required to fulfill it. why? because as sad as it is, legislation is there since we can't trust in people's goodwill to put their money where their mouth is. manytimes, we are selfish and self-seeking. a natural instinct! one I can empathize with! but it's not the guide we should follow.

killing a child off for the convenience of one's life is a morally incorrect decision. it's entitled, and awful given the sex was consensual. say the mother has the child, but abandons it in a ditch. would you still say that it's her choice, when presented with that abandoned child? science sometimes says all sorts of arguments about how children aren't really children until a certain number of days. well, teens aren't really adults until their prefrontal cortex is developed! should we therefore treat them like they don't have any worth? the child having the potential to grow is enough reason to love it, to cherish it! AT ANY STAGE OF LIFE, CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE SAFE.

i should say this again: even if the consequences are unpleasant, unless they are dangerous to the mother who consented to sex, such as staying in an abusive relationship or dying or otherwise, no child should be aborted.

now, you also mentioned the mothers who are put in danger by having children. personally i think doing tests first to ascertain how safe it is to have children before trying to conceive is a wise option. but it's true that one never knows, and the information might come later.in that case, the mother is absolutely within her rights to abort. full stop. i'm not arguing that point because that is no argument. same for with rape, although the beautiful souls who do indeed keep their children are to be praised.

to summarise and conclude, thank you for your informative ask! women definitely deserve choices in what to do with our lives! but like all flawed beings we do indeed sometimes shirk our responsibility and it must be factored in that out knee jerk response can, in fact, be the wrong decision. feelings are valid to feel but not always the morally correct way to go. it is conscious thought and moral standard that humans should follow, not base instincts. and always better to save a life than to lose it!

[flamingfuryfox]

This couldn't be happening again. I wouldn't let it. I ran down the stairs bursting through the door as the flurry began to layer the streets, but… this wasn't mc flurry? There was a lack of oreos or m&ms inside of the “snow”. The consistency was all off, it was way thicker and didn't look like anything a mcdonald's ice cream machine could produce. As I knelt down to examine the mysterious mixture, trumpets began to sound out from around the city. A resounding voice rang out across the streets “please make way for your queen, your Dairy Queen”. A rattling of a chariot could be heard as a carriage approached and the blizzard continued.

“Attention dear citizens of Barzolt, we are here to greet a valiant member of your community who has done many valiant things, We have come to speak with him, if any of you know of a certain ‘McRibEnjoyer43’ on the hit video game Call of Duty please bring him to the local Dairy Queen restaurant so we may talk to him.” As the queen said this I shivered in my “boots'' which were really just crocs with jibbitz that spelt out “McRib” but that's not important. My very metaphorical boots were quaking very metaphorically, because I am McRibEnjoyer43 in the hit game Call of Duty. I paced in my room and thought of what I should do. Should I go to the Dairy Queen or stay in my house never to log online to that account ever again? The longer I walked the more I grew anxious of what was to come until I felt like something was about to happen. I walked to the door to make sure it was locked. I heard a knock. Looking through the peephole I saw the queen herself standing on my doorstep. I cautiously opened the door and gestured her in and sat down on the couch. As she entered 3 assistants followed behind her carrying one of those flippy papers like from despicable me when Gru was planning to steal the moon. Like it was the plans sheet on an easel? If you don't get it I can't help you i dont think a single human being knows what they are called. When they finally set it up the front of the canvas said “Plans to Beat McDonalds”.

“As you may be able to see, we want to beat mcdonalds. We kinda fell off… a while ago… and we would like your help getting back to a place of relevancy.” the queen said. This astonished me greatly, like what was I supposed to do? It's not like I was Ronald McDonald or something. The queen must have noticed the confusion on my face because she started to continue. “I see your confusion, but believe me you are the correct person for this job. Remember last year when you saw that “McFlurry” outside? That wasn't a dream, you are the only one who remembers that event. On that day McDonalds tried to get rid of the McRib once and for all but they failed because of you finding the last McRib. We believe you have it, a super weapon from that day, but you don't know about it. Me and my husba- i mean the Burger King have decided to go to war with our formal jester because he has grown too powerful. The ground outside is about as much as i can do but he was able to pile it above signs of businesses. Please help, do you know what happened to that McRib box.” she was solemn saying this, like it was her last hope. I stood up to pace and think, but when I stood up I bumped a statue on my coffee table. I

had never seen this statue before, it was like it had just appeared and was trying to hide from me. After bumping it, the whole house began to shake as my comically large fake fireplace began to move. After about 2 minutes of it moving (it was VERY SLOW) I started to see an open room. After another 5 minutes (like I said it was very slow) the queen and I entered the room. The room was almost completely empty except a single light and a pedestal. When we approached it we could make out a box with the words “McRib” on its lid. Opening the box a metal McRib rested with a note on top of it.

“In case of emergency” the queen said, picking up the note. “It was made for this very moment. They knew they couldn't beat the McRib, it is better than all their other food, so they got rid of it.”. I nodded in agreement. I have personally not eaten at McDonalds since they took it off their menu. As I picked it up, a large knock was on the door. One of the Queen’s assistance went to get it and when we turned around we saw the Burger King walking in.

“He’s sent his forces. We need to get to the battlefield. We have about 20 minutes to get to the top of the Meat Mountain before chaos ensues.” The king was urgent so we followed him.

The trek to the mountain was tough as McFlurry began to fall from the skies again, but this time they employed new tactics, they added peanut butter to keep people stuck in place. When we had reached the summit, the enemy was already waiting with their army of weird iconic characters. Grimace, the Hamburgler, the fry kids, and so many more. Colonel Sanders emerged from a nearby tent ready for the fight. I raised the McRib as the groups charged at each other starting the great fast food war.

[noonehere-rightnow]

idk im kinda tired of trying to fit in my parents dream kid ideal. actually, i stopped doing that some time ago, but they still didnt accept that I just wont match their expectations.

and this is wild how they try to believe that theres hope. for example, few times i just came and said that im might be little bit like my sibling and MAYBE they should check if im neurodivergent or smth, bc I have many traits. answers was; no, u suck at math so u cant be. other example, they refused for years to do anything with my eating disorder. bc ill grow out of it, right? spoilers, i didnt, i just forced myself to improve my health to the point i can function. and other thing, every time I show some signs of not being cishet they try to shame me for acting weird (short hair and cutting it by myself, getting bit mor muscular that I used to be ect.).

and fuck, at this point i dont even need them to accept me and love me/tolerate as am i. I want them to leave me alone and stop to try to repair me by making pressure, constantly shaming, making jokes that actually never were jokes.

and I know they somehow love me. but not as a person, but like this concept of ideal child, i never was and ill never be.

yep, i used to be golden child in school, smart one, calm, not making problems, good to be shown as a role model by teachers. and when I was like that everything was fine. but as soon as I was in home i was tuning into walking burden. and then they tried to fix me.

and I dont get why they want me so desperatly to be someone else. like, im too old for being treated like a effecr of their actions. and idk i can just move out and not make a bad reputation for family. i can mask in family events. but fuck no, i wont BE someone else. bc when I tried to i nearly unalived myself. and now I discovered that facing not fitting in is actually less harmful and maybe bit easier that desperatly changing myslef for someone else.

[pixicunt]

Kintsukuroi

(Kintsukuroi is the art of repairing pottery with gold and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken )

you are more beautiful because you have been broken.... or mean yandere Jimin needs to break you completely then put the pieces back together to make you his pretty little doll

Jimin x reader (ft Jungkook)

8.2K words of all smut 

Warnings! NONCON/dubcon, omorashi (piss), drugging, knives (only used to induce fear, not actually used on y/n), very slight mxm, yandere jimin and jungkook, DUMBIFICATION, dollification (not very heavy just jimin calling oc a mindless doll to fuck), manipulation, anal, gaslighting, slight daddy kink/ age play / jimins wants to take care of you, mindbreak, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, coercion, fear play ( from the knife), jimins shoes is a whole kink/ pussy stepping, oral sex recieving and giving, slight mention of breaking your jaw. umm i think thats it. 

this is might be a bt extreme for some so read with cation !

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Dating Jimin had been a dream as you only saw him through rose tinted glasses. he was kind and treated you like no one ever had before. opening doors for you, paying for all your dates, feeding you. romantic, except it wasn’t romantic at all and you had realized that to late. you did not  know about his deep rooted obsession with you and that he strategically planed everything from your very first encounter.

it went from gentlemen actions of tying your shoe and feeding you spoonful's of your food with an admiration in his eyes to him telling you what to wear (usually short skirts) , what to eat, what to address him as and you did as he said only because that look of admiration and the praise he gave felt better then the uncomfy feeling blooming in your tummy.

subtle comments about how dumb and silly you are. you were to naïve to see all the warning signs and a little to intimidated to say anything about it.

You didn't notice the sly smirk he had when your friends had stopped talking to you, much to his manipulation on his part, he could be very persuasive and intimidating. feeding everyone close to you lies so they would push you away in disgust. even your own family, kicking you out of the house in disgrace leaving you no choice but to run into Jimins arms.

into his home.

He was the only one by your side when everyone had abandoned you, his fingers combing through your hair telling you everything was going to be ok and that you didn't need them anyway, all you needed was him.

 Then came the jabs about how you should quit your job, you are always so clumsy and he didn't think you were fit for a job that required you to use your brain so much because you were so clueless sometimes, he was just worried.

 he wasn't. 

He just wanted you to be his braindead little slut and he would get you there. it wasn't long before rumors spread around your work place about you spreading your legs in the workplace and so it didn't take long for your job to be terminated.

 Jimin was always there, a chest to cry into. a warm body to lay next to, now your only hope of survival. you didn't have a job or a place to go. just as he planned.

when you came home with tears, racked sobs about the mean rumors and the fact that you no longer had a job jimin had to try and hold back a smile. instead of being blanketed with comforting words he instead questioned your infidelity.Of course he knew you were a virgin, he had eyes on you at all times but he wanted to break you. you could only sob and shake the tears from your face in desperate disbelief.

“no, no , no, iv never slept with anyone, i-i dont know who started those rumors but they are not true" you were hardly audible through your tears and wavy voice."please"

Jimin turned away from you, faking a look a confusion and hurt and you grab his arm in desperation ."please believe me"

He has you right were he wants you. like a snake about to swallow his prey. "then prove it to me" 

You miss the smirk in his voice and the way he was already undressing you. hands brushing the hair from your face softly before moving to the hem of your shirt "show me you haven't been a dirty little slut and that you love me" that's when you saw his beautiful mask crack

It all happened so fast and you never expected your first time to be this way. didn't anticipate the rough way he held you down as he took your virginity. "so messy and needy for daddy" it felt wrong and your gut stirred but you wanted this to right ? adventuly as you continued to sink deeper into his trap did you realize it was a little to late to leave. he already had you in the palm of his hand, his cute little doll. you no longer made your own decisions but  your brain was much to foggy to really understand because as Jimin said you were just a silly little girl who couldn't do anything by herself.

 So you got used to a routine of being dependent on him for your survival. you would only eat when he fed you, wash when he was there to bathe you, spend special time with daddy when he said so.

 Like every day you watch as he dissolves a blue pill into a plastic cup of water, speaking to you in that disgustingly sweet voice. you couldn't do it anymore, you didn't want your brain to go foggy. without thinking you swipe your hand across the table, the cup spilling its contents over the kitchen bench as Jimins usual smile vanished. it was terrifying

This wasn't a simple case of him fucking the defiance out of you, no, you needed to be broken. before he could react you leapt off your chair and headed straight for the door. it was unlocked, It had been so long since you had been outside and you were so overwhelmed by the fresh air that before you could even think about running you had been caught, you would never do that again as he would make you regret your actions.

 After the way he kept you in a dark room for days, fucking you stupid and never letting you get a proper nights rest as he left a vibrator against you all night. cooing at you the next morning, you had learnt your lesson. Jimin was not who you thought he was.

 So you were in the middle of getting yourself some vanilla ice cream , a child safe rubber spoon of course because Jimin couldn't trust you around with so much as a sharp edge or anything that could fall, smash or sqush you. its to protect you he says, because you are to dumb to be doing anythng by yourself. you try to calm nervous butterflies in your stomach with the icecream.

draped in one of his shirts, only because that was what he demanded of you, and that you had no clothes of your own apart from the tight shirts , skirts and everything in the colour pink . So here You were standing in front of the fridge spooning the ice-cream into your mouth, savoring the sweetness on your tongue.

 You knew disobeying him was a dangerous game, a very dangerous game that you had to play carefully. Today you had not been careful. you had not known your limit because you had been so stupid to fall into his trap.

 You already knew all the doors and windows were locked but that didn't stop you from trying to open them, just incase he was not focused today and left something unlocked, giving you a chance to escape his claws that were already so deep in your skin. But things were not as usual today and that should have been the first warning sign, Jimin rushing about the room pulling at his shirt wrinkled from sleep to show to the lean inked side of his rib as  he threw the shirt somewhere in the room.

Jimin was always calculated and never late but today he was so rushed that he didn't even have time to hold you down while he went down on you like most mornings. sometimes if he was feeling mean spirited he would hold himself there well after your orgasm driving you into overstimulation and into another painfull orgasm, wiping your tears with a condescending smile before capturing your cries with a hand over your mouth , whispering sweet praises. hands above you to make sure you couldn't escape as he played with you however he wanted. fucking you into the mattress while all you could do was take it.

This morning you had done something without thinking it through. you stole his  phone. it was a reckless decision and you almost got caught slipping it under the bed when Jimin rushed back into the room to kiss you goodbye with a promise of a surprise for being so well behaved this past month. quickly dressing you in his shirt, dressing you because dumb little girls cant do anything on their own.

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you held the phone in your hand and it felt like a grenade. heavier then a brick of steel. it was terrifying. the feeling of being scared to take a chance at your freedom. you have been locked in this house so long it had become normal. a home. but the touch on your skin still burned, the feeling of helplessness swallowing your whole body.

Who would you even call. everyone hated you and no one even knew you were missing. you drop the phone on the soft sheets of the bed. you felt the burn of his gaze in your head. his sweet words when he was having a good day made you feel like you belong here with him and that nobody missed you in the real world. you dont know what life would be like anymore. he was all you knew. or at least this is what he has conditioned you to believe.

Then your mind wonders to his bad days, when you wouldn't play into his act and be the little girl he wanted and how he would look at you , a look that made you want to cry, a look that made you almost feel the slap on your skin and the days of torture that would follow. even being summited to this lifestyle he forced you in was enough to push you to get out. you used to be a functioning adult, not a baby that had to eat with rubber plastic forks and knives

Without wasting any more time you dial the police. your heart was in your ears as a calm voice spoke out to you, the sound of a male voice made you flinch, having not heard anything but Jimins voice in so long.

 "i need help "

You couldn't help the shake in your voice both from fear that he would out he would never forgive you. your eyes flicker to the full length mirror as you were forced to stare at your reflection. maybe you should hang up now. He had been nice this week. 

maybe too nice

"hello, mam ? can you repeat that and tell me where you are"

-------------------------------

You don't know how long its been but here you are eating ice-cream and trying to keep yourself together. you didn't even want to think of this failing and getting caught, you could already feel the imprint of his cock inside of you for the next week and the amount of tears you would cry. having second thoughts, maybe it would be easier to just live this way. Before you can let regret swallow you whole the sound of keys in your front door had your full attention, any thoughts forgotten as you hold your breath in wait for who would come through the door. You see his suit jacket first, then the sweep of his hair, a hand in his hair pushed back.

The door slammed shut and you jump, dropping the spoon to the floor with a muted thud of the rubber. His shiny black boots hit the floor with soft clicks as he walked towards the kitchen bench , throwing his keys onto the bench before looking up at you. he looked calm and it made you shudder.

 He had a small smile on his face as he spoke in a sickeningly sweet voice. "the craziest thing happened to me today" he just stood and stared at you. his hands lazily in his pockets as he spoke. "my phone wasn't in my pocket, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that right sweetheart ?"

All you could manage was a small shake of your head, no. You were frozen in your spot, his stare held you there as he walked over to you, pushing you up against the fridge, caging you there as he looked down at you making you feel small and vulnerable.

 “I-” you were cut off by his raspy voice . “I don't like liers Y/N”. 

He was pissed but so turned on just by the thoughts of punishments running through his mind and how he would handle you after the stunt you pulled.

“when i went on my break today i saw you on the news, the officer on the screen talking about how they are desperately looking for you, you looked so pretty in the picture they used too, bet they want to join in to find you just so they can fuck you” your head was hurting, Jimin was never this mean to you, you were being crushed by his words and his body. Your head hung low in shame as you felt your eyes water. he hung over you as he continued to talk "i was going to take a picture of it but my phone wasn't in my pocket, do you know where it is"  

You took too long to respond because his hand was gripping your face, thumb  over your lip. “do I need to repeat myself” you quickly shake your head no. he seemed pleased with the answer. He was pushing your body further into the fridge and the handle was digging painfully into your back. you bit the inside of your cheek and bared the pain as one of Jimin's thick thighs was being pushed between your own.

“when did you get so daring sweetheart, do i not fuck you enough for you to know your  place?” . 

You don’t get a chance to answer him as he was pushing one of his fingers inside your mouth and pushing down on your tongue. you felt suffocated with no room to breathe.

"i decide when you when you eat, when you sleep and when you breathe" Plump lip were sucking painfully down your neck, leaving succulent bruises to show everyone he was there. licking back up to your ear 

"do you really think im stupid enough to leave my phone somewhere you could snatch it". You had to hold off a shudder from your body . He removed his finger from your mouth as he continued to mark your neck.   Your eyes close involuntarily as he worked down your neck until he was met with the material of the shirt.  

"don't you ever learn sweetheart, your not very bright , just a dumb little slut right?" you felt all the air in your lung collapse and you let out a sob as his lips were back on your neck. from all the time you spent to get to know Jimin this is the worst you have seen from him. no cute smiles, no sweet words . even when he forced his cock into you it was out of love but his eyes didn't hold any remorse right now, you had broken any trust between you.

 “how disappointing, ” gripping the front of your shirt with both hands as he pulled you closer to his body. "couldn't even be undressed for me, this is what you wanted right? to make me mad, well im losing my patience”. 

With that he let go of the shirt and used the same hand to run through his hair, his rings shimmered in the low light of the kitchen , eyes scaning over to the locked kitchen knives before critical eyes scan down on you as he waited.You diddnt even realize you were just staring at him stupidly, he wanted you ready But you couldn’t move, you were stunned. Blood was flowing to you cheeks and fear was paralysisng you .

He brought one of his hands up to his face as one finger running over his lips at your silent defiance. He was amused. “don’t you know how much trouble your in sweetheart?, want daddy to really hurt you or is it that your just so little that  you need daddy to help undress you" His hands caged you back into the fridge, had you not said a word this whole time ? “J-imin” you didn't get a chance to speak. “five”  you shut your mouth as look up at him. 

“four” He was counting. counting down like you would to a child who had 5 seconds to put away their game and go to bed. He leaned back to observe you, you looked so small right now, thats  exactly how he wanted you. 

“three” 

 You were already half way to 0. If you didn’t do anything right now he would reach 0 before you even knew it. 

“two”

The numbers echoed in your ears and a very real sense of reality set in.  was he trying to give you the illusion that you had a choice, that if you took it off before he got to one that it would be your choice, that he wouldn't rip any clothing off you even if you didn't comply. as you come out of your head  Jimin is holding up one finger “

one” 

he dropped his hand and ran his eyes over your body. "ok princess"

He spun you around, your hands braced against the fridge as he kicks your legs apart with his boots. you were spread and you suck in a breath at how fast it all happened and your cheeks heat up.

 You couldn't help the inner turmoil, you didn't want this but your body couldn't help but react. you tried to push away from him but the way he had you caged it was no use. you felt the thick scratchy outline of his black jeans push up against your ass as his hands reach up under the shirt to your breasts. the cold metal of his rings brush up against your nipples and you cant help the shiver that spreads down your body and the little whimper as he plays with you.

"these pills really do seem to do wonders, always needy, always dripping" you felt him push harder onto your ass he leaned his mouth to your ear. "cold?" you can only manage a small nod of your head as his rings ghost over your chest. "should i warm you up?" you could feel his lips pull into a sadistic smile, his voice a whisper.

"don't move"

with that his hand came down on your ass, hard. out of pure shock you jumped away from him, disobeying his order not to move. you didn't get far as he pulled you by your wrist and pushed you back up against the fridge, hard , hand on your neck keeping you there.

 "I said don't move" his voice was deep and it almost came out as a growl. you let out a sob at the throbbing pain, you felt a reassuring hand brush through your hair. he released your neck to place a soft kiss to your temple and a few small ones down your neck.

 "I dont know why you make it so hard for yourself, all iv ever done is love you and give you food, a warm bed and fuck you but you cant be a good girl"

You knew it was coming but you still couldn't be ready for the sting and the burning heat on your ass as his hand went through the air and connected to the same cheek. you screamed but tried to silence yourself with your hand. involuntary tears welling in your eyes and the pulsing heat inside you that needed to be relieved, probably from the drugs and the fact that you felt yourself slipping and regressing.

You let out a sigh as his hand soothed over you, the coolness of his rings the only thing giving you relief. "do this ever again and I will fuck your mouth until your jaw breaks and you will be nothing but a voiceless doll for me to fuck"

 Again you felt the harsh slap of his palm on your ass, you heard it echo in the room and through your ears with only a dejected whimper coming out of your mouth. another two more slaps and your legs felt like jelly, ready to give out. trying to deny the fact that the words pulled at the arousal inside of you.

he continued as his hand came across your ass and the tears fell. "tears wont work  baby, I have to break you for you to understand you cant leave"

His hands soothed over your ass. "no body loves you as much as i do , if you ever left where would you go, you would just be damaged goods" his words were soft.

A loud and final slap had you pushing all your weight onto the fridge, incoherent words and whimpers falling from your mouth. "shhhh" you felt Jimins reassurance in his calm voice as he pulls you towards him, his arms snaking around your body. his hand reaching for your jaw as he kisses against your lips, you felt yourself melt.

 You were a sobbing mess as Jimin disconnected your lips, reaching in front of you to open the fridge door, too lost in the fog that clouded your head to actually pay attention, he wiped away your tears.

 "drink" a bottle of water was being pushed up against your lips , you open your lips to let the cool liquid inside, clearing out the haze just slightly. you didn't even care if it was laced with anything.

He guided the bottle to make sure nothing spilt from it. you tried to pull away , a hint that you were done and needed a breath of oxygen but he was quick to grab you by the back of the head  tilting the bottle with ringed fingers and a stare that kept you still

Your eyes water as you start to choke on the water being forced down your throat as you tried to scream and push him away. the pressure of a hand on the back of your neck turned into a fistful of your hair as you keep thrashing, water spilling down your chin and soaking your shirt. he takes the water bottle away from your lips and pulls your hair back, looking at you with anger spiting the words out.

 "let anymore water spill and ill make you lick from the floor"

You were trying to catch your breath, the hand in your hair lets go and instead grabs your face with a firm hand, your lips slick with spit and water that dribbled from your mouth coating his hand as your lips pucker out.

 "now finish it" with a quarter left of water  you bring your shaky hands up to take the bottle and look at him, to scared to look away as you down the rest of the bottle.

Just as you were about to beg him there was a loud pounding knock on the door. both you and Jimin froze, his hand clasped over your mouth as a flash light shined through the curtained window. 

"Police open up" Jimin turned to you his eyes harsh and you almost miss the crack of a smirk in his face "looks like we have a guest" you wanted to yell out for help, if you didn't you would be in for days of torture.  your freedom was right there behind the wooden door but fear kept you against the fridge door as you watch him pull a shiny knife from the kitchen

 "be good" even if you wanted to scream out you couldn't, you felt light headed, just barely grasping your surroundings, Jimin moved towards the door a hand running through his hair to collect himself , opening it with an innocent smile as he greeted the man behind the door, knife behind his back.

 "hello officer, how can I help you" the man cleared his throat and your eyes widen "yes hello we got a call from a young lady from this address, says she was in urgent need of help". you couldn't help notice the way jimin’s tongue clicked on the inside of his cheek as he turned to you. he diddnt look panicked or even fazed

 "sweetheart can you come here and tell me what this is about, explain yourself " you couldn't believe your ears. you pull shaky hands up to wipe your eyes and your mouth ,you didn't understand what was happening. 

As you didn't move you were being gently pulled by Jimin , a hand on your back as a constant reminder. the man behind the door was attractive, tattooed sleeve and a pierced eyebrow. he drank you in with unsuspecting eyes and you couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling in your gut. "everything alright here mam" he looked concerned as he saw your red puffy eyes.

 “y-yes" your voice was tiny as he shined his flash into your eyes. jimin moved behind you in slow steps, the faint clcik of heeled boots as you spoke to the officer "Hi ,im officer Jeon, you can call me Jungkook" his uniform hugged him tightly and you don't miss the slightly rolled up sleeve revealing tattoos.

 "do you carry any drugs or have taken any drugs tonight " he lifted  a pierced eyebrow in question, you simply shook your head no. he didn't look convinced as he looked at your appearance. you dont blame him you look a mess.

"im going to need you to take off your clothes so i can be sure you dont have any drugs on your person"

You tried to turn around to look at jimin for any reasurance but he forced your head back to the officer. "w-what" . the officer smiled and it looked reasuring untill he spoke. "be a good girl and take your clothes off"

you cant help the gasp as jimins hand disappear up your shirt again , pulling your shirt up enough to expose your heart print underwear to the officer. "yes she is in need of urgent help" your legs wobbled as you felt the flat of jimins palm cup you

"such a clumsy girl, this is why you cant play with daddys phone" 

Jungkook  bit his lip watching as jimin worked, the movment of his hands on your breast under the shirt and of couse the one over your underwear He walked into the house, shutting the door with a kick of his shoe and a final click .

 "such a naughty girl" jimin had spoken into the shell of your ear you couldn't breath , you couldn't breath. you couldn't. jimin tried to lift the shirt off your head, you tried to plead with him and wiggle out of his grip, the shirt dropping back to your thigh.

"this is why you need me, this is why you need me to protect you" he cupped your cheek with his hands and if you were in any other situation this would be a sweet gesture but the contact on your skin burned. 

"what if Jungkook got here before me, how he would have reasured you with lies of safty right before fucking you into our couch or even taking you for himself"

 you want to be sick, it was all a set up"i-im sorry,i wont do it again". your voice brakes and wavers.

all he did was smile at you sweetly. "i know" you felt a second body up against your back . "no, no , no don't " you tried to elbow the body behind you only to have him grip both hands behind your back and a hand pulling you by the hair to keep you complacent. " haven't broken her in yet park?" you could hear the smirk in his voice.

 “what a brat, you have it good you have no idea what people like me would do to you, if i was in my police car doing my routine rounds at night  and i happened to see you on the street i would waste no time bending you over the hood of my car, using every hole and leaving you on the side of the road,you think you can trust the police ? darling i am the police and even if you went to the police who would they believe, you ? a dirty little slut or me, a highly respected officer" 

you cant trust anyone anymore, not even the people that were suposed to protect you. you couldn't help the full body shudder as he spoke into your ear. "god iv been wanting to fuck you for so long" 

Jungkooks hand moves from your hair to trace down the side of your neck causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. you jump when you feel something cold against the skin of your thigh, freezing in fear . you open your teary eyes to meet Jimins , a tick of his brow and a small smirk as he ran the blunt edge of the knife up your thigh. trying to keep your breathing as shallow as possible as you felt the edge of the blade over your hip. too focused on the the way Jimin was running up your stomach it came as a shock when you felt a palm on your inner thigh, inching higher until you felt his fingers rub over your cunt from behind.

The sudden gasp had your body moving involuntary, the knife getting caught in the shirt, the loud ripping sound filling the room as well as your choked sobs. the front of the shirt had ripped and you didn't know what was worse, Jungkook's slow friction of fingers on your clit or the disappointed tsk that came from Jimin's mouth as he examined the shirt.

 Or maybe the fact the firm rub of Jungkook's fingers made you realize that you really needed to pee.

The hard stare made you feel like he was moving under your skin, a smile hidden in his voice as he spoke. "look what you did" your bottom lip trembled as you open your mouth to apologize but comes out a sob when Jungkook moves your underwear to the side, letting his tattooed fingers run along your bare slit.

 Your legs give out as you try to escape his touch, pulling away and closer to Jimin but Jimin holds your shoulder back agasint Jungkook's chest as he moves the the knife from your neck down your shirt and piercing the soft material, ripping it right down the center while keeping his eyes locked with yours you couldn't help but shiver at the cold air and squeeze your eyes tight.

You sucked in a sob as you felt a finger trace around your entrance, pushing in just so slightly a few times before sinking all the way in. you couldn't help but lean your head against his shoulder, small whines leaving you.

Jimin chuckled at the sound of Jungkook's fingers fucking into you as he continued to rip the shirt all the way down the middle. you didn't dare move. 

"you like someone elses fingers in your pretty cunt baby, does it feel good" you couldn't think, your brain was fuzzy. " is it that good or are you really just a voiceless fuck doll"

You squirm at the words but still you couldnt make any coherant words.

"wanna get fucked right back into your place ?, it must be so tiring always having to fight me"

All you could feel was the way Jungkook was curling his fingers and the voice of the man worming its way inside of your head the shirt tears open completely now and with that Jimin steps back to sit in the couch chair behind him, Jungkook following his lead as his fingers slip out of you. the body heat from behind you was gone and so was the support as your shaky legs give out. Jimin laughs sweetly as you fall on bruised knees. his laugh and the ache in your abdomen made you cry harder. or maybe it was the fact you couldn't help but feel betrayed, its humiliating and you felt dirty.

 Jimins eyes scan your body, your so out of it but you looked so lovely. the way your tears fell made him throb. he wanted to see all of you.                      "Jungkook spread her legs "  he kneeled beside you to pull your legs apart. pulling your ankles down before using your knees to part your legs. you felt both their eyes on your body. and you tried to close your legs but Jungkook was a lot stronger, spreading them wider at your resistance. you shake your head, still trying to squirm away.

Jimin gave you once last look over before his boot pressed against your clothed clit and you immediately try to close your legs. faded words moans and protests falling from your lips as he rubbed the front of his shoe against you. Jungkook scoffed at the sight of your writhing body and the way your breathing would halt for a second as he rubbed the right spot.

"what a dirty slut, letting someone rub their filthy shoe against your desperate cunt, bet it feels good though doesn't it"

Your body went lax, loosing all fight as you felt something stir in your gut, the need to cum but also the urgent need to pee, all that water you were forced to drink. 

"i-i have to- i need to pee" you cant help the quit moans that start to leave your mouth. the hard friction on your clit overwhelming you

“no" 

Thast all you got, a stern no and your eyes shoot open to plead with Jimins dark eyes. Jimin makes eyecontact with Jungkook. a silent conversation as Jungkook grabs your hands above your head, the other hand comming down the vally of your breast, teeth nipping at your nipple before stopping at your bladder and applying pressure.

 You didn't miss the cruel smirk from Jimin as your body thrashes, back arching and legs snapping shut as you fight the urge to cum and pee all over yourself. you start sobbing again. incoherent words and pleads leaving your mouth, eyes shut to tight in concentration to hold back. the rocking back and forth of Jimins shoe was hard to ignore.

 Jungkook does it again, your body jolting each time. "you want to cum then you cum from my shoe and my shoe only" your words were slurred as you spoke. "pee, i-cant" they both chuckled at your regression of words and sentences. everything jimin wanted. he was breaking you as planned.

 "then do it"

And that's all you needed as you let go. back arched at the constant rub against you clit also sending you into a shattering orgasm. his shoes didn't let up as you continued to piss yourself, a deep shame in the colour red painting your cheeks and you hid your face in your restrained arms.

 When you were done he lifted his shoe from you and letting it back down to the floor. his expensive shoes soaked.

 "what a messy girl, cant cum or piss without my command" he lifted himself off the lounge chair and crouched down beside you. "made such a mess" 

He wiped the hair out of your face as well as your stray tears and drool. "now Jungkook is going to clean you all up ok", you felt the pull of underwear down your legs but at this point it was a ghost touch. you felt the cool air hit your soaked slit and shivered.

 You didn't fight it. you felt the parting of your legs "no, i dont-" before you could stop it you felt the brush of a tongue on your still sensitive clit and you reach to push his head away in sensitivity, not before Jimin was able to grab your hands and push them back over your head.

 "Jungkook is going to make you cum on his tongue and you are going to get my cock nice and wet because daddy is going to fuck your ass because you need to learn a lesson" you could only whimper as you watch him stand to his full length again, his eyes never leaving yours as he slips out of his blazer coat, leaving him in a white button up, 3 button already undone. his hands resting on his belt as he clicks it open sliding it through the pant loops and letting the belt slide to the floor your brought back to the situation when Jungkook bites your thigh to bring attention to himself.

You don't know how it happens. your mind is so fuzzy but you end up moving from the living room floor to the comfort of Jimin's bed, Jungkook's tongue back and relentless now companied with a couple of his fingers and Jimin's cock deep in your throat.

 "that's it, good girl". you hate the sound of the sobs and gags that come from your mouth as the tears and drool mix and drip from your face.

 "cant use your words?, just dumb for cock"

 He holds your head, your neck hanging off the bed at a uncomfortable angle, guiding himself down your throat, moaning at the constricted space in your throat as he forces himself further. 

"cant wait to fuck you open" he drives his words home with a hard thrust down your throat ,desperate sounds and gulps of air trying to make its way through your mouth.

 He doesn't let up and you cant breath. "if you still want to be a big girl then maybe ill invite over some more friends and they can try you out but they wont be as nice as me" 

The slide of his cock in your throat burned. the curl of the fingers inside of you had your back arching, to get away in disgust or out of pleasure your not sure but it only pushed you further, taking Jimin's cock all the way to the base and closer to insanity.

 You felt the slip, the long fall to your eventual demise as the hand on your head moved to your neck, pressing down to feel the slide of his own cock working down your throat. 

"Do you understand what I'm saying or do I have to dumb it down for you"

You felt fuzzy, the lack of oxygen, the mean words that really did make you feel so dumb and small, the way you were so close to reaching yet another orgasm. you tried you best to speak but nothing much came out except the obscene muffed squelch of the cock in your throat.

 Your struggle to speak let alone breath only brought out a chuckle from Jimin "what was that baby?, use your words. I don't really understand your babbling"

With that he slid out of your mouth, leaving you in a mess of spit, tears and your body trembling, fighting to breathe in air all while the fingers inside of you continued to curl. Jungkook trying in earnest to flick at your clit, messy face of drool and a filthy look in his eyes. he could do this all day. detaching his mouth to stand to his full height, fingers never leaving you as he fucked his fingers into you hard. leaving you breathless

Even with your mouth free you couldn't manage any words, only a silent scream, so close to falling into an orgasm . hands at your face trying to cover any dignity you had left. its clear they both found this amusing Jungkook used his free hand to push his hair out of his eyes. looking down as your body goes pliant to his fingers.

"try to relax sweetheart, you wont be moving for a while, after all you are just a pretty doll right" Jungkook trying to drive his words further picked up the pace of his now cramping wrist.

Jimin continued on, a vindictive tone bleeding into your ears " a pretty voiceless doll for us to use". you couldn't help the coil in your stomach. "wouldn't it be nice to just let go "

 yes

Jungkook takes his soaked fingers out and he flips you over to lay on your stomach. its all just so blurry.

 "remember, dolls don't talk" and with he presses one finger against the rim. you never been touched there. well you had never been touched anywhere before Jimin touched you. now a complete Stanger touching in such an embarrassing intimate place had you shiver.

You subconsciously tried to pull away from the intrusion as the uncomfortable feeling in your gut pulled at your mind but you couldn't do much when you felt pressure on your leg. Jimins knee digging painfully into your leg while Jungkook grabbed the other and spread you further apart. "i-i cant " you were hushed with another finger, your eyes squeezing shut at the slight pain.

 "good doll, taking it so well" 

You could feel their eyes burning into your skin as the fingers continue to sink into you. they were going to fuck every hole you had, filling you up so beautifully, fucking into you over and over, filling your holes over and over until overstimulation would wrack your body whole and leaving you a mess of your self.

 Your fingers weakly grip the pillow beside you, sinking your face in it as you felt the fingers slide out of you before the blunt end of a familiar cock was being pressed up against your ass. the soft yet firm hand running across the base of your spine eliciting goosebumps and a deep warmth in your tummy.

 "be a good doll and be still for me"

 You feel hands at your waist pulling you up but another hand is quick to push your head back into the pillow, only leaving your ass in the air. the slide of his cock was slow as he sunk into your pussy first. loving the way your walls cling so desperately in your stubborn defiance , he was going to break any fight left in you he thought as he completely bottoms out.

He blanketed you in this soft false comfort, completly stilled as he runs a soothing hand across your ass (still sore) before shattering that comfort by pulling back and fucking back into you hard. you couldnt help the involentary noise that fell from your mouth , legs begging to give out but you were still being held tightly by your waist.

you couldn't even get the words out or think before he did it again, fucking into you. the way he would fuck had  you gasping for air. Jimin continued to fuck you like this, Jungkook in your ear whispering switching from praise to humiliating words, making your gut twist.

"shhh, does that feel good , doing so well" to "you like being a dumb mindless cock sleeve" you couldn't reply even if you wanted to. Jungkook's fingers in your mouth and the words playing at your weak mind, Jimin fucking you open now at a mean pace and you just couldn't do it anymore.

 He felt the shift, god he felt the way your limbs gave up all fight, still he had to punish you liked he promised and Jungkook still needed his turn. he pulled out, a soft muffled whine from you.

 “ I think I made it very clear what happens when you don’t listen to me sweetheart,  what happened to all that attitude" you felt the slight push of him against the rim of your ass as if tempting you to fight back, you dont, instead your eyelids flutter shut as you feel the weight of your body sink into the mattress.

 “thats it baby, so good for me" he was going to fuck you dumb and when hes done with you he will pass you on to the man beside you, still fully clothed as Jimin had ordered him to be. he wasn't stupid afterall, you belonged to him only, every hole . Jungkook was just a tool for your punishment and he was willing to wait and listen for his say so.

keeping eye contact with Jungkook he pushed all the way inside your ass leaving you to sob quietly into the pillow at the new sensation and the pain. it took Jungkook all the willpower in his body not to touch himself or to just turn you over and fuck you into next week but he wasn't the one in charge here. he tipped his head back, the scene in front of him and Jimin's gaze being to much as his cock stirred.

 Jimin fucked at a unforgiving pace making you spew nothing but nonsense, words leaving his mouth but you couldn't quiet put them together "that's it just feel it" ""you love it don't you" "you love that you don't get to decide, don't need to decide, You don't decide, you just get to be my mindless doll”

It's was so simple and as you feel the pleasure you were fighting all this time you cant help but feel how easy it is to fall. so easy . your weak for his words, for his control, for the way he holds you down into the bed as he fucks you. You love it, Need it, Crave it be cause you never got to decide, You never decided, because you are his and he wil do to you as he wants.

 You felt his breath against your ear as he laughed at your fucked out expression. it really suited you. "so greedy letting me take your ass, need your other hole filled don't you"

You vaguely felt the shift of him turning you onto your back, back to were you started. your eyes glaze over as he picked back up on his pace, you felt the throb of him inside of you and you wanted to cum so badly yet nothing could make its way out of your mouth other then the hiccups of pleasure as your body thrust in time with his.

 "gonna let Jungkook fuck your ass too?, going to let him fill you up" with this you heard the small growl of another person beside you. he was breathless, watching your tear stained face fade in and out of a state of alertness. watching as your stomach tenses. Jungkook plays with your nipple and Jimin held you by the hips

“say thankyou doll” you could hardly keep up with the pleasure, voice bouncing as you thank whoever was touching you, that's all Jimin needed to cum. any sense of an orgasm leaving you as he pulls out of you, cum leaking down your ass. you wanted to cry. you wanted it. you wanted to cum. it was sick.

  -------------------------

Jimin wiped at his hair with a smirk, Jimin looked like sin, his own cum dripping down his thighs as he ran a towel over his sweaty hairline. Jungkook, fists clenched as his sides. he just wanted to sink into you. wanted to fuck you until you pass out. "get up" he was quick to his feet it was almost embarrassing, Jimin didn't think so, he was amused at how pained the boy looked, call him a sadist but he loved the control. loved the way the boy basically ripped at his buttoned shirt with little to no control.

 Jungkook was so hard it was painfull. he felt like a dog on a leash listening to commands and Jimin was about to release the leash. he gripped Jungkook with a dry hand, not pumping or moving his hand in any way. 

"remember Kookie, im in charge" with that he spat at the tip of Jungkook's cock , letting it drip down to the base as his hands worked the spit. the wet sound of a hand on his dick filling his ears as Jimin pumped him, thumb moving over the head.

Jungkook couldn't help the shiver but nodded in agreement. Jimin owed him this, it was his efforts to take care of your missing case to keep Jimin protected.

He looked over to your twitching body as Jimin guided him, lining him up at your entrance. "wake up baby, its not over yet" you felt the slap of Jungkooks cock against your clit before slowing sinking in.

 Jungkook couldnt help but curse at the warmth and the fact that Jimins cum was still leaking from your ass as he fucked into your cunt. he didn't want to wait, didn't want to savor the feeling he just wanted to fuck and he was feeling angry that he had been waiting for so long, and the smug look on Jimin's face the whole time he fucked you.

 He fucked you hard. leaving you screaming to which Jimin had to cover your mouth with his hand, you were so fucking loud but his ears were death to your pleas. he didn't care, wasn't his job to care, the only job he had was to break you. the night continued this way. you being fucked over and over again until you learned to be the perfect little doll. if this didn't work Jimin had other ways to break you, it was all a matter of time.

notes: hi so I'm very new to writing and this is the first thing i have written and so I'm nervous and don't think its very good but anyway please request things and let me know if this is ok?

[stagkingswife]

this is an incredible answer thank you very much! not exactly what i expected but in that way it is better.

i have a follow up question if you dont mind!

im curious about the methods of communication since my main one is divination. i know astral projection (is that the same thing as hedge work? i assumed so) and dream work are some other methods though both seem so advanced it would take me quiiiiite a long time to develop them so i need to choose one beforehand. are there any other merhods you know of? meditation visualisation seems a bit unreliable

So you’re talking to someone who doesn’t believe any subject, skill, or topic is “advanced.” Do somethings take time, effort, and practice to master? Yes. But in my opinion you can start putting in that that time, effort, and practice whenever you want or need to. If you think being able to travel to the Otherworlds (which can be called anything number of things including astral travel and hedge crossing, on that you’re correct) will aide you in your endeavors then start learning it! Maybe there’s other stuff you should learn along the way, but you’ll figure those out as you practice and experiment.

Having a couple divination methods that you’re comfortable with is a great place to start! I would also recommend any of the following: learning Otherworldly travel, establishing dream communication with the spirit you want to ask to be your teacher, getting really comfortable asking for and identifying specific signs and omens, developing and training what I call the Sight but might be easier to research under the various “clair” sense terms. Having options will make communicating with your tutelary spirit easier because you won’t be limited to just one method, in case that method ever fails for any reason.

And it could work out that you start learning whatever you’re other methods of communication as part of your tutelage, just an early part of it to make the rest easier! And remember, none of what I say is gospel. It’s my advice based on my experience, but you aren’t going to have my experience, you’re going to have your own. If you think it will take you too long to master anything besides what you already have under your belt and you don’t want to wait, you don’t have to!