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#i dont knkw what ill do
turigirl · 6 months
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ive decided i shall just Not sleep
#moo.txt#im really tired bht i dont. want to let myself sleep#i sont. deserve it#punishment. or whagever#sorry i really do feel bad venting on here all the time because im just forcing everyonr t#*to. well maybe not listen to me but at least look at my thoughts#instead of like just venting to one person or a server or whatever#but its not like i Have anyone to actually properly talk to#im everyones second choice At Best#and this probably sounds depressing but its not like im wrong. whenever i ppst this stuff i get self conscious but im just. saying it how-#-it is.#like yes im just burdening people but thats already what im fucking doing every minute of my life#i could say [REDACTED] and itd probably get ignored regardless so who cares at this point#ive tried so hard to push people away nobody understands. and i keep coming back like a fucking lonely puppy snd just hurting people more#i need to just be put down#i donf know what to do anymore i feel guilty when people dont talk to me i feel guilty when people DO talk to mw because either way its-#-a reaction to whatever ivs said on here typically#i dont Knkw whst i want anymore orher than [REDACTED]#maybe someday ill get angry enough and just stop censoring myself at all but at least right now i wkll#theres no winning with me because its like. i get sent a message About what ive said and i feel extreme guilt. i get sent a message thats-#-off topic and i feel extreme guilt. i dont get messaged at all and i feel extreme guilt#oh whatever im sitting here spiraling and writing a post that nobody except myself is gonna read least of all pay attention to#an extremely suicidal teenager what else is new.
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muttsona · 6 months
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i am the poisoned blood running through my tired veins
#personal#ITS SO MOT FUCKINH FAIR.#since he hates me now i dont care if he sees this and im pretty sure i fucking blocked the reat of them so idontfucking care#i hate all kf them so much and i dont fucking care how bad they hurt. i hurt too#for some INSANE REASON i was the only oke that had to apologize. why did they never apologize .#they know they hurt me. He knkws he hurt me.#when j say this they think im selfish. they can think what they want.#byt jts fucking crazy to act like im the only one tjat did anything wronh#i fucking admitted i was wrong. but it wasnt enough. notjing is ever enough for them!#if He ever tries to text me again im not responding. it was stupid of me to respons.#i wonder what he would say if he knew that i chose ro respond by chance of a coin flip#if it had landed on tails i wouldnt be making this post.#he cares more than i do. i dont have the luxury of caring.#he says “i led him on” but if he wanted skme speicodx kind of love fucking say skmething#i didnt knkw i was supposed to be differenr. if he had said that from the dtart i never would have agreed.#i didnt want to change for him.#he shouldve been different and he shouldve been better#i shouldve been too. but atleast i can admit ghat#what the fuck do you mean when you say you understand why j do what you do and uou get it so deeply#but then you still leave. does rhat mean you understand how much you hurt me that first time#it barely hurts anymore. but i cried four times last nigjt#now i dont feel it and now i dont care. youll never knkw little i can let myself care#ill distract myself until i forget all about you because i csnt let myself feel any of this#i dont care if im not changjng the way you begged me to. thats not an option rigjtnmow#im still fighting to stay alive. i dont know that you understand what thats like#you say you get it. i tjink you just say that#you loved me and i dont like that. i warned you and you dwatted my warning away#how is that all my fault.#how is all of this my fault.#💭
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naturenaruto · 2 years
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lOoOOoOOok at my vegan nachos skdnskjsj lmao😍 tht vegan chimken and vegan cheeeese and an jalapeños and chiiiips !!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!
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catparty41 · 8 months
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I promise ill do something for this, its late rn tho and i dont knkw what to do lol
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mazm-imagines · 10 months
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Not me lying in bed thinking about the parallels between Mazm characters and Genshin Impact characters. 😐
I want to waffle to you about it, mod. but since you don't play genshin...
erm, i cant guarantee ill be able to give satisfactory answers because i dont knkw the source material well :,) but like all things youre allowed to do what you want ^^
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spitinsideme · 10 months
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not to add to your (no doubt) vast collection of horny asks. But what do you think ragatha and Pomni's first time seeing each other naked was like? Pomni was probably super nervous, but maybe Ragatha would be too? The whole thing with their current forms not being their original bodies probably adds a whole other awkward layer to the situation
yes i get many horny asks but i like them kts okay .. literally look at my blog its hormy as fuck but i think the first time they saw each other naked woukd NOT BE ACCIDENTAL ACTUALLY !!! i think it woukd be like .. hest of the mlment tyoe thing ?? pomninwas feeling ready and shetold ragatha sand ragatha took it from.there and took it at her own oace and they bkrh undressed at the same time (so tjat pomni would feel less self conscious about it)
i feel like pomni woukd be .. really nervous about being naked and beong seen by ragatha and would try to cover up, but ragatha woukd reassure her that its okay. she would also literlaly not be able to even look at ragata at all naked because shed be all flistered and shit and i think that wlukd be adorable !!! ragatha woukd be all like "take all the time you need, love, ill always be here" and ohmygid pomni woukd be so embarassed and nervous and yer still so.happy to be able to see ragatha naked necause kf like bonding
i think ragagha woukdnt feel self conscious beong naked, shes seen her body before and she doesnr care much if anyone else sees it becwuse she doesnr care about other peoples opinions, shes happy with herself. but with pomni, therws that thing of "i love her so much, i dont want to disappont her and i wsnt her to love me" where she woukd feel nervous about pomni seeing her naked because she wants pomni to lime ir (she knkws pomni will, but youknkw how it goes) so shes a bit nervois and blushing. SHEDBE SO HAPPYY TO SEE.POMNI NAKED !! not even because od the horniness oh tits !! part, bjt because it would be like skin to skin contact and it woukf show rhat pomni is nlw mlre comforrable with ragatha and yes its a special, intimate moment for them two, bit especially for ragayba because dhse knows how much this means to pomni and how hard it is for her. she wpukd be happy and proud and that wholesome soft moment of "she trusts me enough to do this" .. that would be romantic
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beef-unknwn · 2 years
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hey fuckos it's late and my brain is simmering wanna know how to write pain and suffering then come on down and sit wherever imma tell ya how. ill try not to care to much about spelling as i go on so fair warning
so ya wanna knkw how to emotionalky (and oerhaps akso physically torment a character? don even worry about jt i gotchu fam
olay heres what yer gonna do. first you gotta make your character all solid and shit get a good founsation on that bitch. all fheir hopes and dreams solidified and fuck. like ooh little tommy wants go be an architect how cjte
now youre gonna put your gonna put them in a Scenario™
this Scenarii has fo be like super duper special to them. like a competition or meeting someone or a confessin is abouta be made kr something
heres the kicker
you think of the worst possible thing to happen at the worst possible time
and gou let it happen
someone important to them dies, ghey lose the competition, the conversation goes absolutely wrong, theres an argument and two characters break up (platonically or romantically) that sorta shit
and you hold onto the silence
you hold onto this character
you hold on their pose, their face, their tears
do you feel it? fhe rising action? your throat clogging? tears welling?
wait for it... wait for it.......... NOW
THEY BREAK THEY SHATTER THEY'RE CRUNBLING ONTO FHE FLOOR
TEARS AND MAYBE SCREAMING BUT MOSTLY TEARS
They dont even have to crunbke they could just... stand ghere and cry kr whatever
idk but if youre writing the climax of angst it bettwr tingle my fuckin balls alright? i better feel chills along my spine and arms i better be cryin ballin my fuckin eyes out alright?
it better be like the monster aftermath scene in steven universe where i cry every damn time shut the fuck up go away
i better feel like a fuckin husk when gou write angst
bitch
anyways
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li4r · 3 years
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penguin--person · 3 years
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heehoo :)
my LORD... that is a CHILD.. in a CHEST..!!! perhaps the real treasure was the knight all along..
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lizlemondyke · 4 years
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no! no no no. I refuse any birthday sadness or crankiness. only happey. only hAPpey!
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mrfoox · 3 years
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Wish I was different. Wish many things were different but most of all wish I was different
#miranda talking shit#negative#Imagine feeling fulfillment more than three times per year#You might think im over exaggerate here but like... No#spend 1-3 hours cleaning up the apartment and in the end i feel no achievement or sense of accomplishment#Im just sweaty and frustrated#I really do not know why im still trying like ... The most powerful and most intense thing one can basically feel as a human#Is an orgasw and like its supposed to give off feel good emotions or whatever but ive spent like three years almost twice per week keeping#This up and trying to make it an habit and like. ... I can recall one which was close to being that 'woah/amazing' feeling that everyone#Describe .... The rest is just .... Like ... Im getting over the edge but theres no wow... Its just ... 'i guess this feels good' for onesec#And then its just over like... Oh wow glad i spent over an hour on this and im all sweaty now haha...#I know its not the destination but the journey but when the journey is just time consuming and overly complicated its like...#Haha... What now?#Meanwhile like every mental health person ive talked to being convinced ill 'be fine' and 'be out of here without help soon' like.... Uh...#Lol nothing is fulfilling and thats something important to have in life to even want to live it#And i know im a broken reCord about this like i knkw no one wants to hear it its annoging and ive said it so many times#Get over it already stop being so dramatic but like... What i wouldn't give to feel happiness or even some sort of RELIF in life?#People see me and cant understand why im so tired or sad or whatever because im not doing anything ...#Like... I dont feel refreshed. Last time i felt refreshed was in like 2011. Theres no way for me to feel good#Or rested or something . No reset button. I cant work out and relive some streess or finish something and feel good im just ... I got nothin#My stress doesnt go away. I can put it on pause but its not gone. It doesnt feel like ive 'cleared' my mind or anything#I can just ignore it for top an hour and then its right back like it never left#Cant even be happy about my sleep because I never feel its 'good' sleep . Nightmares almost every night and i wake up exhausted#At least its an healthier coping mechanism than selfharm (: speaking of#I am so close to picking it up again and its scary but also such a comforting idea. Nothing else that can get my mind so blank and away from#All the shit in my head. Havent done it in what... 5-6 years ? And i dont think i ever had an releapse once i stopped#Because the last time i did it i did it too deeply and almost got found out#But now? Who can catch me? Who can try to care? I meam i guess my home help but they have an non disclosure agreement#Cant say if it works for selfrm but i mean... As long as its not suicide threats or such im sure they cant do much#self harm
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sunflowerfinch · 4 years
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I cant stay of tumblr. It was one single place I could get away. Achievement hunter was my comfort media a special interest a hyperfixation. I feel like everything's crumbling around me and I have no one to reach out to. People are choosing sides and fighting. I literally just feel sick and numb and I don't know what to do.
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grey-tones · 5 years
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Do you ever just,, sit and stare at the wall for like 10 minutes
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claytoad · 4 years
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Part 4 Kakyoin is the best and here is proof. Based on an image of disabled artist Sue Austin. I like the memes where a photo is drawn over and wanted to do it for myself. I chose kakyoin 100% because of this post by @maidsonas that I love
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 4 years
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Me the whole day: PANIK
My brain: you should go swim
Me: WHY AM PANIK?!?!))??
My brain: gotta
Me: ok *paniks more while getting ready to swim*
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spitinsideme · 11 months
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Hello! I just wanted to say that I really love your art! I get super excited every time I see your username on here, lol. You never fail to make me laugh. I hope you're doing well!
Also, if you're taking requests, I'd love to see some digital disaster and/or comfort yuri.
THANK YOU THAT WAS VERY NICE !!! i shed a tear honestky i was smiling whilst reading through that, you are basically my favrouite follower now im happy tonsee that younare happy to see my art im gladnit gives you a bit of a laugh !!
and sure yes ill take requests i love gettinf new ideas on what to draw !!! im not the besr at drawing comfort stuff but ive always wnated to with ragatha and pomni so ill try !! i dont knkw what digital disaster means but if you tell me i will definitely draw it for you someday !!!
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