#i dont have to like or forgive them but its one less danger. good

[noneedforbloodpressure]

Community organizing and solidarity would have been a requirement regardless of the outcome of the US 2024 election, but in the wake of the turnout we got, it is ESPECIALLY important.

More than anything else we have to stand together to protect each other, especially the most vulnerable members of our societies. When you are at a loss for what to do, know that you can always look out for one another.

This is your responsibility: stand with your Jewish and Muslim neighbors, with your Black neighbors and other neighbors of color, your LGBTQ+ neighbors, your disabled neighbors, your immigrant neighbors, your poor neighbors, your neighbors who are women. Stand with these groups even when they are not your neighbors - even if they live halfway across the world. We are citizens of the greater world, not just our hometowns and countries, remember that. Defend the rights of marginalized people and protect them from bigotry even when you disagree with them; even when you may condemn an individual marginalized person’s actions for one reason or another. Understand that human rights are unconditional, even if you hate someone or they hate you.

Seek to treat people with compassion. Look internally and put in the work to unlearn your biases and to shift from an individualist to community oriented mindset. Refuse to see people as monoliths, and if you have done harm, work to netter yourself so you will not do so again. The people you hurt may not trust or like you, but put in the work anyways - stand with them anyways - because not only is this the right thing to do, but it is a matter of survival. And in all of that, treat yourself with compassion too. It is easy to despair. It is easy to rage at nothing and everything. It is hard to keep moving, to keep your heart open, to keep caring. It takes work. (And, for the record that work does not mean ignoring or suppressing your anger, grief, or despair. It does not mean your anger, grief, or despair is invalid or unreasonable. That work means learning to deal with them in healthy ways so that you are not controlled by them).

So grieve, reach out, stand together. Be better than what you were. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. The future comes, and we cannot weather it alone. We are stronger together.

[claitea]

can you tell us more about alto 👉👈

here's the basic rundown on them!

some more things about them though:

i use the day i finish designing an oc as their birthday, so alto's is september 13. they're 23 at the time of bw2

full team is fearow, unfezant, swanna, rufflet and vullaby. they're like 4th-5th gym level kind of strength in battle

somewhat inspired by the time that as a kid i went to this beach, known for having a one-winged pelican around. i never got to see it but i always remembered it. alto's initial partner pokemon was going to be a pelipper, but i did want to give the underappreciated fearow (which i actually really like! a lot more than pelipper haha) a little spotlight. i still kept the one-winged pelipper concept - it's now the logo of the skyline sanctuary visible on alto's second outfit. it lives with the rest of alto's family at the sanctuary as one of the helper pokemon

taught themself how to sing and dance as a kid so they could play with the birds in the sanctuary, but ending up really liking it and they do it as a hobby. you could NOT convince alto to sing or dance in front of other people though. gun to their head they will not

sucks at throwing poke balls but thats what the capture styler's for

afraid of thunderstorms, not in the afraid of loud noises way but because their family are all extremely wary of them. they're dangerous times for bird pokemon so they have to be on guard during them, so even when they're not at the sanctuary, storms put them on edge

alto doesn't battle often, but people who have battled them think they're annoying to fight lmao. when facing wild pokemon as a ranger, their main tactics are dodging and disrupting to get openings to use their styler, and they incorporate those same tactics in their battles

also despite part of why i made alto being that they were going to be paired with n i dont think i explained their whole story here???

between the remains of team plasma that either joined neo team plasma or are making up for their actions in the driftveil safehouse, there's a small number that still fully believe pokemon should be separated from humans for their sake. they operate independently, still convincing some to release pokemon or outright stealing them just like the original plasma. this is one of the reasons some rangers were dispatched to unova to help recover these pokemon

alto gets assigned to capture and calm an ursaring who took its release very badly and is now rampaging through the forest. while searching for it, he runs across n who was busy playing with pansage so deep in the forest he didn't get the evacuation memo. n asks what someone else is doing so far into the woods, alto explains their mission, n volunteers to help, alto thinks thats insane you cant do that and leaves. "i don't need help. i got this"

they don't got this

they end up taking a direct slash, and it would have been worse had n not worried about someone going that far into the forest alone with a dangerous pokemon and went in the same direction. n jumps in, calms the ursaring himself, and drags alto out to get medical help

alto usually takes a while to warm up to new people but on account of n literally saving their life he gets to skip most of the aloof alto phase. they end up great friends, alto admiring n a lot

alto, however, has a very strong sense of justice and never forgives criminals. in particular they hate team plasma because of what they've had to witness firsthand. n is ex-plasma, the ex-King no less. n soon learns about alto's views and knows that he should tell alto the truth soon. its harder then when he told hilda though, he's already such good friends with alto and this aill likely ruin it

he finally ends up telling them about a year after their first meeting. just as he thought, alto's distraught and leaves

over the next month though alto feels like shit over the whole thing. yes they're not sure if they can trust n after he kept that information from them for a year. but n was different to how any of the still malevolent team plasma members were like...?

they happen to get assigned to work with the driftveil safehouse to help them handle some pokemon

surprise asshole n's sisters live there and they've been told all about you

both of them are reluctant to work with alto not just because of what happened with n but because it shows they don't trust anyone at the safehouse. for the sake of professionalism alto promises to put all bias aside and carry out whatever tasks needed of them

working with the safehouse makes them realize that people can change. every ex-plasma member here is genuinely trying their best to atone. alto finally admits to themself that they really screwed up with n and asks anthea and concordia if they can tell n they want to apologize. they slowly patch things up with him from there

[horseshoecrabman]

7/26/24

hey all! time for another bee update!!

bee update 6:

content warning: picture of a bee sting on my hand (isnt bloody, but is slightly bruised/swollen)

this one might be short, since not much new stuff happens in the bee world. dad got around to buying some pesticides to get rid of the hive beetles! in short, we have to place it in such a way that only the beetles can access it, and then they eat it and die.

i'm a bit worried that the hive beetles ate so much of their honey that they won't be have enough to eat for the winter, but if worst comes to worst we can always give them sugar water!

speaking of bad stuff, a moment i've been dreading finally happened:

i got stung by a bee!!!!

what happened was that i was going to replace their water, so i removed the feeder as i normally do. it occurred to me that they seemed to not like the presence of my hand, as five or so bees came to fly around and get me to leave. i didn't think anything of it really. but when i came back to put the feeder back in, i felt a pain in my pinky finger and welp, i got stung.

i kind of freaked out to be honest, but i remembered to remove the stinger (as i had watched a youtube video a few months prior instructing me to do so in case of a bee sting) and then i left them alone after that!

it did hurt but it wasn't super bad! and while i'm on that topic i want to talk about what to do in case of you getting stung by a bee!

1. remove yourself from the area as calmly as possible! if near a hive in the wild it is best to leave, as to tell the bees that there is no more danger and wont illicit a defensive reaction!

2. remove the stinger as quickly as possible! if left in, the stinger will continue to pump venom into your body, and while not enough to kill or cause major damage (unless you have an allergic reaction, which i will get to in a bit), the stinger is easy to remove and will cause less pain if removed! you just have to pinch with your fingers and remove! using tweezers is not advised.

3. when that is done, wash the wound with soap and water and apply an ice pack! after that you can bandage it :)

4. if you do have an allergic reaction, i would recommend going to the hospital and looking into medications for these things! im not an expert on medical stuff like that, so forgive me if im wrong or dont provide enough info, but if this is a concern for you i recommend doing your own research! ^_^

another fact about bee stings is that the stinger of a bee is connected to their vital organs, so typically once the stinger is inside the flesh, the organs will get removed with it, unfortunately killing the bee. i say "typically" because there are cases of the bee being able to remove the stinger by itself and then flying off, but its very uncommon. however, i don't think anyone should feel overly guilty if a bee dies because they sting you, like any bug, bees die out quickly for a myriad of reasons. and by nature they are designed to produce lots of bees to make up for the ones that do die.

it was certainly a learning experience to get stung. all in all, i dont blame the bee for stinging me, nor do i feel mad about it, i should have recognized that they felt on edge to be honest. there were a whole bunch of birds flying around their hive so maybe thats why they were on the defensive? who knows to be honest!

anyways, the main reason why i make posts like this is because i want people to stop being scared of bugs, especially bees! bees are very crucial pollinators, and its sad that theyre becoming endangered because of human effects like the use of pesticides and the like.

bees aren't the only pollinators either! other examples are: wasps, ants, many families of flies, butterflies and moths, beetles, bats and birds (most notably the hummingbird), and even animals like monkeys, lemurs, possums and rodents!!

no one has to love bugs, but its always good to remember that bugs are a very important part of the earth!!!

anyways, bee update over!!! have a great day or night my friends!!!

[twinkdrama]

would you mind explaining your sentiments in your dni concerning cancel culture? just curious! :)

this will be long, but since you asked..

i am not a good person. i am a person who is equally capable of doing good and causing harm. even with the best of intentions my actions can have unintended negative impacts, and focusing on intention rather than impact is dangerous.

the more tightly we cling to our identity as a "good person", the more skilled we become at rationalising our behaviour, and the less available we are to examine the ways that we cause harm. (x)

accountability feels like being "cancelled" when you live in a world that has enabled you and let you get away with your harmful behaviour for far too long. (x)

please start aligning yourself with people who are going to call you out on your bullshit. many of us think we‘re growing but we have enablers and coddlers around us. remember that people exposing a pattern in behaviour is not an attack on you. (x)

call outs are love. call outs are necessary. call outs begin a process of accountability. call outs are survivor-centered. (x)

being held accountable is an act of generosity and compassion. it is a gift and an opportunity that someone hands us to correct our wrongs, unlearn and do better for the sake of our own growth. it might be uncomfortable but it is worth the discomfort. (x)

abolitionists have no desire to "cancel" people who cause harm AND commit to doing better. we ALL cause harm. thats part of the human experience. what matters is how you respond to accountability. (x)

what you do AFTER apologising is where accountability actually happens. accountability is not about finding the quickest and easiest way to total forgiveness. accountability is about recognising the harm you did as real and significant and doing whats in your power to repair that harm.

when you take harm that you‘ve done seriously you dont then go "oh it wasnt THAT big of a deal" or "I already apologised they should just move on." those things reflect that you dont actually take the harm that seriously, you just dont like the consequences. (x)

many of us want to take a transformative approach to justice, however, this requires the harm doer to aknowledge their violence, as well as commit to repair and ongoing accountability. often someone appears "cancelled" when they have refused to engage in this process in a meaningful way. (x)

anyone who takes the harm they‘ve done seriously will WANT to engage in the accountability process. the safety of the people they hurt – if they indeed do take their safety seriously – will be a priority. if it isnt then they arent interested in accountability, they‘re interested in dodging it. (x)

the difference between carceral thinking and accountability is not the presence / lack of consequences. it lies in how much autonomy the harmer has. carceral logic strips them of their personal power, accountability processes require that they take ownership of it. (x)

way too often ive seen people interpret abolition as meaning that we are all forbidden from concluding that a person will not change, regardless of the evidence or presence of continued harms. i do not think believing someone wont change necessitates carcerality.

im not interested in rhetoric that can make inaction in the face of violence attractive.

as abolitionists we should be able to ask "what if you cant stop the abuse" without assuming the answer is calling the police. we should already know calling them doesnt stop the abuse. the answer should always be "we find a way to stop it" not "we excuse it". (x)

look at the people who are loud about anti "cancel culture": celebrities, abusers, people with wealth and large platforms – and the people who sympathise with them. its no coincidence that people on top of the privilege pyramid are the ones who complain about "cancel culture" the most. (x)

we are taught to sympathise with people who harmed more than with people who are harmed. (x)

[celestiagarden]

If u still take requests... Could you do Kazuha and Childe finding out that their Younger sibling fell into abyss (yk like Childe did) and they had no choice so they are now one of the harbingers as well? Ty if u do take this request!

Characters: Kazuha, Childe

CW: trauma, growing up too fast. i might’ve missed some things

Note: I think in matters of having no choice to join the fatui, this was more of a variable that depended on Childe’s temperament. So unless these younger siblings have an unscratchable itch for bloodshed and action, i think their return from the abyss would differ? So i kind of changed the initial prompt a little :P

Kazuha

kazuha thinks its a sheer miracle that his sibling survived. 

They’re obviously shaken; and rightfully so. they were so young and had to go through so much. 

it breaks his heart to notice that this unfortunate accident changed them. They had only been missing for what, five days? but what seemed like five days to him ended up being five months for them. in an unforgiving environment. 

kazuha probably tried to help his sibling recuperate and tried his best to initiate them to a certain normality. you know; kid things. Go play with your friends, they missed you! would you like to hear a story? why don’t we go play tag together? that kind of stuff. and it’s heart breaking to see that, being faced with life-threatening dangers, his sibling had to grow up far too quickly. Though they’re barely in their mid-teens, their stoic and mature temperatement deeply resembled Kazuha’s, with a twinge of cynicism. 

To him, there was nothing more heartbreaking than witnessing his beloved younger sibling yield their childhood far too early and suffer the consequences

Childe

oh boy. oh man. I dont even know how to BEGIN. 

is there a small chance that his younger sibling does, in fact, share the same character as him? And that they resurface as another warrior thirsty for blood and fighting? absolutely. A part of temperament is genetic after all. 

with that said, childe isn’t home very often due to work. chances are, he wasn’t around when his younger sibling fell. Maybe Tonia wrote about it in a letter, but by the time it reached him, it was far too late to do anything about it. 

but i like the scenario in which he doesn’t hear about it from his family. that he simply hears there’s a new harbinger, and that some of the fatui higher ups joke a lot about how it must run in the family. childe doesn’t get it, until he finds out it’s his sibling. 

he’s so worried, it sickens him. he got back to snezhnaya SO FAST when he heard because he needs to know what in the hell happened. When he came clean to his younger siblings (save for Teucer) about his real job, he had them promise never to get involved because it’s not a good life. So what in the hell happened? 

the news of the abyss broke his heart even more. he feels so helpless that while he was away doing celestia knows what, his younger sibling was down there, fighting for their life. Childe knows first hand how it feels and it’s not very fun. it’s even less fun when he comes to the realization that this is a curse. a curse his younger sibling has to bear too. there’s no return to normalicy now. there’s no way for them to get “better”, to get back to being a kid again and simply dreaming of an ideal future. all they’ll know now are battlefields and corruption. 

childe will never forgive himself for what happened to them. 

[jupitersmiles]

haikyuu boys as

little things i think they’d do with you

a/n: this is pure chaos and was built off of a single intrusive thought that has extended into something bigger (yeah it was the one about screaming HAGASH) i love all of these. and yes, one of tadashis was inspired off of strawberry mentos !!

also this is my first time making one of these and im not too confident with it so if you have any feed-back for the kitchen, let me know !!

KARASUNO

─ kōshi sugawara

◟ gives up his seat on the bus for you <3 

◟ lets you ramble on for hours. you’re rambling and sometimes you hesitate because you’re scared you’re talking too much, but he just smiles at you and tells you “go on, im listening.”

◟ plays the tambourine for you during karaoke, occasionally joining in to sing the lyrics with you

◟ buys you lunch when you don’t have one

( bonus: if you forgot yours, he’ll share his with you. he does not care if you say no, hes sharing and thats it. he’d also bring you lunch if you were in a different club/place as him, if possible )

─ asahi azumane

◟ he !!! he plays with your hair when you get anxious !!!

◟ also absent-mindedly fiddles with your hand/fingers :,)

◟ he likes to compare hand sizes with you

◟ lets you sleep on his shoulder on the bus !!

( bonus: one time, after practice, he and you sat beside eachother on the bus. you were both exhausted, and before you knew it, your head was on his shoulder, and his head was atop of yours. sugawara took a photo of it and teased asahi for it HAHA asahi still asked for it and made it his background on his phone )

◟ sometimes you catch him staring at you and he just quietly mutters, “can i kiss you?”

◟ sometimes the both of you wake up at dawn just to scream at the sunrise. when he’s frustrated and doesnt know what to do or how to express it, he just goes to his roof top and just... screams. the both of you thought of it as therapeutic and honestly, it felt rejuvenating

─ yū nishinoya

◟ SCREAMS song lyrics with you

◟ the type to go on 7-eleven runs at 1am to get slushies and go on spontaneous road trips to the city with you

◟ also the type to run over to your house when its pouring rain and you’re sad. he’ll stand outside and wait for you to unlock the door for him.

( bonus: one time he and you got into an argument-- it was over something dumb, and it spiraled out of control. to apologize to you, he ran over to your house, held a boom-box up, and started playing stupid romance music whilst screaming “im sorry” and, “i love you” at the top of his lungs. you ended up forgiving him LMAOIASU )

◟ makes you laugh at 2:30 in the morning because you were feeling anxious </3

─ tobio kageyama

◟ teases you for small things but ends up apologizing a million times when you act upset

◟ gets really annoyed when he has to untangle his headphones so he has you untangle them for him

he’s baffled by how easily you disentangle them. appreciates it way more than he should, its gotten to the point where he just wordlessly hands them to you and waits HAGJHSA

◟ bashfully holds your hand

hes so awkward about it sometimes :(( he tries to reach for your hand, hesitates, goes for it again......

◟ gives you blunt compliments all of the time LMAO

─ kei tsukishima

◟ rests his head on top of yours just to make fun of your height

◟ pokes fun at you when you’re mad at a videogame

◟ he covers your eyes and gives you forehead kisses

he’s kind of embarrassed to let you see him do it directly LMAO

◟ he holds your hand in crowded places because he’s scared of losing you to the mass of bodies he wont admit to this even though you know it

◟ sometimes he claims he doesnt know what you’re talking about just to watch you struggle to explain it even further. he always knows what you’re talking about, he just thinks its cute when you’re a bit exasperated and pouty

─ tadashi yamaguchi

◟ always scared to kiss you because he doesnt want to fuck it up

◟ takes you out for ice cream at ungodly hours of the night because you asked. he’s always tired in the morning, but he doesn’t mind

◟ he likes to eat your favorite candy so when you kiss, it tastes like them

◟ takes you to on silly and cute dates !! 

◟ stands on the edge of the sidewalk so you’re not in danger 

◟ gives you giggly kisses !!

FUKURŌDANI

─ kōtarō bokuto

◟ absent-minded touches <33 he doesnt mean to startle you, but he just wants to feel you there beside him. whether it be brushing his hand against yours, holding your hand, playing with your fingers... baby just loves to know you’re right there beside him

◟ stays up late until you fall asleep because he just wants to talk to you

◟ reciprocates your rambles !! when you get going on a topic, he will happily listen and/or provide his own opinions

◟ will talk to you about animals for hours

◟ takes you to the zoo specifically to pet the goats 

◟ holds your hand on rollercoasters, especially if and when he gets scared of the tall drops

◟ spontaneous facetime calls at any hour !! 

◟ lets you ride in the shopping cart and he pushes you around, vice versa !! 

he’s crashed into things more times than you can remember, but neither of you mind !! the employees, however....

─ keiji akaashi

◟ insists on buying you that one thing you loved even if you say you dont want or need it that much 

◟ HE READS !! YOU !! TO !! SLEEP !!

◟ answers your 4am calls and listens to you when you’ve had a nightmare :(

◟ takes you on picnic dates. he’ll pick you up and he’s already packed snacks and lunches !! 

◟ gives you wrist kisses <3

INARIZAKI 

─ astumu miya

◟ plays footsies with you while on a date LMAOSHAK

◟ looking at you with suppressed laughter when hearing a reference to a private joke. one of you always ends up busting out with laughter whilst others remain confused as to what was so funny

◟ watches movies with you, even if he doesn't like them

◟ plays games with you COMPETITIVELY. sometimes he shoves you to get an advantage when hes losing like the cheater he is

◟ has playful arguments with you about board game rules. he often says that you “rigged the game” because you were winning, or vice versa. 

you always accuse him back, though, given he has tried to make you fail numerous times

◟ he takes you on late night drives all of the time. sometimes, the two of you will park on the side of the road, headlights on and the radio playing your favorite song. he’ll drag you out of the car and dances with you, albeit sloppily, but the both of you are laughing and having fun :,)

─ osamu miya

◟ makes you homemade breakfast, lunch, or dinner

◟ he slow dances with you in the kitchen when its way too early in the morning. you’re both just lazily swaying back and forth, but it doesnt make it any less special

◟ has you taste test food for him <3 

◟ loves to cook with you. sometimes in the morning when he wakes up after you, he’ll find you in the kitchen, bed head and all, making something for breakfast. he wordlessly joins you, slack in his own pajamas, and you both exchange sleepy “good mornings” and tired smiles as you work your way in the kitchen

BONUS

─ takanobu aone

◟ wordlessly ties your shoes for you when he notices they’re untied

◟ loves to listen to you ramble. he isnt much of a talker, but when he hears you going on about something you love, see’s the way you’re glowing with passion... he swears he falls even more in love every time

◟ COMPARES HAND SIZES ALL. OF. THE. TIME. SOMETIMES HE DOESNT EVEN MEAN TO BUT IT BRINGS HIM SO MUCH JOY

◟ also loves to absent-mindedly hold your hand <3

[willowedwisteria]

oh lord im so fecking sorry for my friend that pulled an essay on you- i didnt know they would add some stuff about the past events until i found out today.

but ig its time ill tell the truth, and its a stupid one honestly. im currently under the weather and starving so i might write a bit shorter than usual.

so, uh. the reason why i was avoiding yall back then, was because- uh-

i felt like i was the last resort, you know, the third, fourth, fifth wheeler in a friend group. this wasnt the first i’ve experienced it. i know i speak a lot and tend to interrupt (truly sorry for that), and sometimes i was told to talk less or just be quiet.

i was also told that i always interrupt every conversation when a common interest was mentioned irl.

i already mentioned it in my blog but im going to say it again, i honestly felt like i have to please everyone on the discord server, that i have to play my cards right to please the many interests of everyone there.

dont get me wrong, i love feeding all of you fics about your fav(maybe slander them in the process too), but over time it felt like i was working hard just for recognition that “hey, im here. i still exist.”

again, this wasnt the first time i’ve experienced this. heck, i wrote like 2-3 fics just for gaile (one of them is diluc), like i was tryna impress for whatever reason. and honestly? i regret feeding gaile now. i dont hate gaile, i just regret writing fics for them.

and yes, im sensitive, i tend to get jealous of petty things, ill admit that. but i try to reason myself that ���your moots have lives outside of tumblr, Hana. Of course they won’t notice your work/message/etc.”

honestly sound like im guilt tripping but im genuinely not.

i hated that i have to please people even on the internet, as if i was born to make everyone around me happy, forever making me an afterthought.

like that time where i send out a message that it was also my birthday but was met with silence, so i quickly deleted it out of embarrassment. (gunter and i shared the same birthday, surprisingly.)

and yes, i regret send that ask to you. i really do. sagau villain au has gotten way too stale here, another major reason why i regretted that. and yes it was supposed to be what my friend previously said, but i didnt expect it to blow up and it to become your au.

i often get attacked whenever i mentioned that i was the reason it blew up, but thats selfish of me, i shouldve kept my mouth shut. ahh yes, the good times where my tumblr blogs were too dangerous for me and my former followers. hah

ah flip, i got sidetracked haha. im not seeking for forgiveness, nor am i asking to interact with my former moots again. i came here to tell the truth.

a petty, childish truth.

but we all have flaws no matter how well we hide it.

im under the weather, family and childhood has messed me up, and honestly i feel like ending it all sometimes one way or another.

however, if you do want to interact with me again, feel free to tag me, even if i dont respond much. i wont respond at all if its in pms, im too awkward for that. you can decide whether you want to publish this ask or not, i dont mind.

-Hana

I have no right to say that I can truly understand how you feel since I didn't go through what you had to painfully experience, but I can say that I relate to it.

But, let's not talk about me right now.

You don't have to apologize, it was partially my fault. Your friend must have brought it up to me because I needed to at least know.

If avoiding us was your last resort, then I and I hope the rest of your old mutuals respect your decision. Tumblr may not have a place for you, but you definitely will always have a special seat in my blog.

You've been so strong after facing so much unnecessary hate. If you've experienced such hurtful comments about you supposedly interrupting someone else, unintentionally or not, I can kind of see why this was your last resort.

Recognition, fame, to not be forgotten. I don't know how to console or help you, but I'm glad you decided to take the time off of Tumblr. This is an unhealthy mindset.

If you look back into my blog, I also felt jealous of things such as notes and stuff. I felt insecure because my fics weren't doing well and I thought my writing had become terrible. I was insecure. I think you went through something similar.

You don't have to call yourself sensitive because many people also surprisingly feel this way as well. It's a valid and plausible thing, but it's also very unhealthy. Tumblr was just supposed to be this place to interact and have fun, and take a break from life.

I really wish I got to know more about you and bond with you. You seem like a wonderful person. However, for now, I don't think you'd need that.

Again, I'm so sorry for the trouble. That one mistake of mine escalated so much. We might not know each other that well, and nor do your old mutuals, but I'm sure many did miss you.

Thank you for your time here and for being here.

Thank you for the truth, Hana.

[wcnderlnds]

where do broken hearts go / peter maximoff x reader

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader Description: You and Peter used to be inseparable but now he can’t bear to be around you. Warnings: sad peter??? Word Count: 1601 A/N: okay full disclosure i dont usually write angst i’m usually a fluff/humour type of gal but i’m trying to delve into the world of pain so go easy on me. gif is from google bc... lazy.

You never thought you’d be back here but fate had a funny way of rearing it’s ugly head. It had been two years since you’d left Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. It hadn’t been an easy decision but you couldn’t stay there. After everything that had happened with Apocalypse, you realised that wasn’t the life you wanted to live and made a run for it. You wanted a normal life — not one where you could be attacked at any given moment for being different. So, you’d headed back to your family. Thankfully, there was only one person who knew where you lived these days and Charles knew better than to try and convince you to come back. Once your mind was made up, that was it. You were one stubborn person. That didn’t mean it didn’t break your heart to leave because it did. There was so much you’d left behind — your friends, your mentors and, most importantly, Peter Maximoff.

The moment you and Peter had met over ten years ago you’d instantly clicked. Charles had needed yours and Peter’s help with something. That something was breaking out Magneto from a high security prison but you didn’t really like to bring that up much. That was when you and Peter had first met and from that moment on you’d been inseparable. You’d decided to stay at the school to learn to control your abilities while Peter had gone back home but you’d stayed in touch the whole time. There had been so many times when you’d tried to talk him into coming to the school but he wanted to be with his family. Whenever you could, you met up and that had eventually turned into the two of you dating. You’d officially been together for three years when everything changed.

After Peter had showed up at the school and saved you (and everyone else) from the burning building things took a wild turn. Apocalypse had happened. It had shook you to your core. As much as you loved Peter, as much as you loved the people you were surrounded with on a daily basis you couldn’t take the risk of that happening again. So, you’d left. There was no goodbyes because that would’ve been too painful so instead you’d left your favourite silver haired speedster a letter. There had been so many times when Peter had tried to get in contact with you but you ignored him. If you were going to even have the tiniest bit of a normal life then you had to leave everything behind including the love of your life.

Now, here you were stood outside of the doors to the place you’d vowed to never return to. Your abilities had taken a bit of an unexpected turn. You had tried to keep it under control by yourself but when you’d almost accidentally hurt a family member you knew it was time to get some real help. If there were any other place you could’ve gone, you would’ve but only Charles, Erik and everyone at the school could help you.

With a deep, shaky breath, you pushed open the doors to the building you hadn’t seen in a while. Students were rushing around making their way to their next class. It was Hank who spotted you first. Quickly, he dashed over to you pulling you into a bone crushing hug. “(Y/N)!” He exclaimed. “It’s so good to see you! Charles told me we’d be expecting you.”

“Kinda need to breathe here, buddy,” you gasped, patting your friend on the back as he released his hold on you. “It’s good to see you, too. Does… uh, does Peter know I’m here?”

Hank frowned. “Not as far as I know but I think you should talk to him first before anything else. The last thing we all need is for things to be awkward around here.”

A heavy sigh passed your lips. He was right, like always. The last thing you wanted to do was waltz in and make things weird for everyone so you were going to have to be an adult and face Peter no matter how much it was going to hurt. 

After chatting for a little with Hank and a few others — Jean, Scott and Jubilee — you sought out Peter. Nerves were bubbling up inside as you wandered through the corridors hoping to get a glimpse of the speedster. Your palms were sweaty as you rubbed them together, a stress headache slowly but surely making its presence known. Maybe coming back here wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe you should’ve just isolated yourself and gone into hiding. It’d be better than having to do this.

It was then you finally laid eyes on him. He was leaning against the wall, looking at his watch as impatiently as ever. There was a brief pause while you had an internal pep talk with yourself then you made your way to him.

“Peter?” You said meekly.

At the sound of your voice, he looked at you. Before you could even open your mouth to say anything else he was gone.

*****

Since then you’d tried for three days to talk to him but every time he would run off or try to avoid you. Admittedly, it hurt but you knew you didn’t have the right to be hurt. He was acting this way because he was hurt. You deserved it but that didn’t make it any less painful. So, you asked Hank to help you out.

Impatiently, you waited in the danger room. Hands on your hips as you paced up and down in the empty room. The plan was for Hank to ask Peter to come and run through some scenarios with him then once he was in the room Hank was going to lock him in there so he couldn’t escape. At the sound of the door opening, you froze hoping this would work.

“Give me a second. I need to go make sure everyone knows we’ve got the room for a bit.” Hank patted Peter on the shoulder before quickly exiting the room and locking it. Peter hadn’t noticed you yet, a confused look on his face as he noticed the door locking.

“Hank, what the…” He banged on the door.

“He’s not going to let you out,” you said from where you were stood at the other end of the room. Peter spun around to face you.

“I have nothing to say to you,” his tone was brash — something you’d never experienced with him before.

“I know but, Peter, I really need - “ you started with a step closer to him.

“And I really needed you!” He exclaimed throwing his arms in the air with an exasperated sigh. “I broke my leg and needed you but instead I was handed a letter by Hank telling me you were gone. So, I don’t really care what you need. You bailed on me when I needed you the most.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, sorry,” your eyes began to brim with tears. 

“It’s too late for that. You broke my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for that.”

“I was selfish and… I didn’t think. I was thinking about myself and that was wrong. I know that now. I’m sorry for leaving you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I thought about you every single day. I loved you, Pete. I still love you and… I’m just so sorry.”

Tears had freely began to fall down your cheeks. It was taking all of Peter’s will to not close the space between you and wipe them away. No matter how much he was angry at you, he still loved you too but he couldn’t bring himself to get hurt again. 

“Everyone told me I’d forget about you and move on but it’s two years later and here I am still wanting to make you feel better instead of myself,” he looked at the ground. It hurt to look at you especially now that you were crying. “You broke me, (Y/N). I just….” He paused, shaking his head. “I still love you too but… I can’t. The trust is completely gone. I’m not willing to give you my heart again when you were so careless with it the first time.”

“I know,” you sniffed. Your sweater clad hand moved to rub at your eyes but was stopped mid way when Peter grabbed it, lowering it. The pads of his thumbs moved to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks which only made you cry more.

“I need time. I need to learn how to be around you again. I need to learn how to trust you again and then… maybe we can….” He trailed off unable to bring himself to say it. He didn’t need to give himself false hope. By now his forehead was resting against yours, his eyes closed as if it was physically hurting him to say his next words. “But, for now, I need you to leave me alone. Please.”

You nodded, taking a step back to put space back between the two of you as you shouted. “Hank, open the door.”

In mere seconds the door unlocked. With one last look and a sad smile Peter left the room leaving you alone. If there was one thing you knew, it was that you’d do anything to make Peter Maximoff happy again. If space was what he needed then you’d give him it. No matter how long it took — he was worth it.

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

The Helping Hand

This is a Repost from my Ao3 I wanted to bring it to Tumblr. I hope you like it Its currently 5 chapters I will be uploading the rest throughout the rest of the week.

Word Count: 3300 approx

Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.

Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)

Ch.4

Chapter 5: Age of Ultron pt.2

Ch.6

"Y/N you can't keep coming in and not talking." Your therapist tells you quite frustrated. "I'm paying you aren't I, I'll do what I please with the time I pay for." You say finally making eye contact with her. She only sighs. "Y/N I find that often people ask for help in the most obvious yet concealed manner."

You turn away, she continues. "You said it yourself you're paying me… If you don't want me to ask these questions, walk out and stop paying me." You look back "I can't… because I feel like I might just explode at any point." She nods encouraging you to continue. 

"Recently I went through something that combined with all the other shit i've gone through… I can't cope. I don't know how." You wipe your eyes and continue. "I've never been stable, but i've always been okay with that. I've never lost anyone in a traumatic way." Your therapist lifts their head. "Who have you lost?"

"I never knew my parents so I didn't really lose them. I knew that Howard was going to pass and I got closure." She jumps in when she realizes you stopped talking. "And what makes this loss different?" You look at her with a tear rolling down your cheek. "The fact that it was my fault."

Three Weeks Ago 

Wanda speaks first "I read your mind and all I saw was destruction." He promptly asked her to check again. He then goes on to have some sort of existential crisis not knowing what he actually is. I didn't really start to listen until Clint mentioned where Nat was… Sokovia. You immediately got pale once you heard what Ultron was planning to do with Sokovia. "I need to make a call" you say mostly to yourself but Pietro heard you. 

No one noticed you stepped out of the room but him. "Who do you think you're calling?" You jump as he sped in front of you. "I need to warn my family they need to get out." Pietro only laughs "Forgive me but you don't seem like one to have family much less in Sokovia of all places. Why don't you just tell me the truth"

"Im aware you might not know me but I'm Y/N Krast… I run the practice I need to warn my friends.  They'll spread the word and start an evac." He sighs. "You need to tell the rest of the guys. It might not be the best move." You nod and walk back into the room there all in. Tony notices you and walks straight to you fearing the Maximoff kid did something to you. 

"Did he do anything kiddo because if he did I swear to…" you cut him off. "Im fine but I need to ask you something." He nods telling you to proceed. "Can I warn my friends back in Sokovia? They can help get the people out of there." Tony looks at you and nods. "I guess it can't hurt to take some precautions. Do it." You smile and walk out the room Dialing David immediately. 

"Y/N are you okay, it's like three in the morning." You're relieved to hear his voice. "Listen to me David, you need to get as many people as you can out of Sokovia. The people are in danger." Davud sighs "Are you having another melt down remember breathe. In and out…" 

"David this is not a game, you have to get as many people as you can out now… Tell Viv too she needs to get her family out. Do as I say David please the people will listen to you." David starts talking again, the panic rising in his voice. "Y/N what do you know… more importantly how do you know?" You raise your voice. "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE DON'T QUESTION ME! Just do it." 

David, shocked by your reaction shifts his tone. "I'll do my best. I need to go." He hangs up not even giving you a chance to say goodbye. (This is what you'll end up regretting later.) 

"You truly care for these people… your family or friends." You look up and see the last person you expected. The witch is standing there in the doorway. "Yes, I do care, Wanda because believe it or not we're not all bad people." The comment came out more spiteful than you expected wincing at your own words. You're about to apologize when she beats you to it. "I'm sorry about earlier." She looks down picking at her hands. 

You sit down on the steps facing a window and signal for her to sit as well. She joins you reluctantly. "I'm not going to bite." You say. Drawing out a small laugh that made your heart flutter. "Did you see inside my head?" You ask. Her head tilts at your question, but ultimately she shakes her head. "Yeah it happens sometimes I can't control it." You nod. "For the record I dont think youre a bitch. Well I did in the moment…" she cuts you off laughing. "I believe the words you used were 'Crazy Bitch'." You chuckle. 

"We should get going…" You stand, helping her up and go to the team. “I contacted my friend David, and I texted my… other friend Viv. They’ve started evacuating people as we speak.” Tony nods and gives you an understanding look. “Now what's our plan to save Nat.” Steve goes on to explain his plan which consists of getting as many people as we could out then fighting Ultron. Once you arrived in Sokovia the streets were desolate. Not a soul in sight.

Pietro gazes in astonishment. “Your friends are good.” You nod relieved seeing that David and Viv did what you asked. “Well check if there are any people left behind…” Wanda cuts in. You weren't given the time to check for any last bystanders when she city starts shaking, and there are bots everywhere. You realize that Sokovia is flying. Tony then informs you of Ultrons plans. You all split up fighting the bots and Bruce made his way to Nat. Not long after Hulk and Natasha had made their way to the now floating Sokovia. Long story short the bad guy was defeated, and all was right in the world again.

Present 

“Alright Doc, have you been following this I know first hand it can be a little complicated.” She nods as you continue. “Well my friends, not the Avengers. Umm… their names were David, and Vivian.” She notices your struggle to continue but you power through the tears building in your eyes. “You see, saving the world came at a price, a price that I was willing to pay, but not like this. I got to the compound, and dialled David and what did I find?” She tells you to continue. “Five… Five missed calls from David telling me that he was going to stay behind in the Practice with Viv.” Tears are now streaming down your cheeks. “Now I imagine that you know what happened to Sokovia ‘Boom’.” You signal with our hands telling her that it was all gone.

Suddenly a timer goes off and your walls are up again. “Y/N you can continue if you want to, I don't…” You interrupt her standing up and heading to the door. “Actually I think that, that was enough for today.” You say walking out. It was confirmed both David and Viv dead… and it was all because of you. After this you distanced yourself. Declining Maria Hills offer to become an Avenger, and also walking away from the Stark Industries collaboration. Unfortunately falling down a deeper hole than you'd ever been in with our addiction. When walking out of the office building your shrink is in when you bump into someone.... 

“Long time no see Y/N!” You recognize the voice immediately. “I saw you following me last week, as a matter of fact i've spotted you multiple times Natasha.” She laughs, and you roll your eyes. “Now why are you mad Y/N what did you think would happen? You ghosted everyone after Sokovia, why are you angry?” You sigh and start walking away but she stops you. “Because you were right Natasha there was a cost to this and it's taking quite the toll.” Natasha lets go of your arm confused “What are you talking about everything came out great.” you laugh bitterly “For almost everyone else oh and feel free to tell Pepper than I'm not taking her calls no matter how hard she insists.”

“Does this have anything to do with the drugs Y/N because if it does I know some people that can help you.” The way she says it almost makes you believe that she cares, but at the end of the day you know she had orders. You look at her incredulously walking away again, this time she doesnt stop you.  

Natashas POV

“Well if you're not going to tell me guess i'm going to have to find out the hard way.” You walk into the building Y/N just came out of and make your way to the Shrink's office. You not so nicely asked for Y/N’s file. As youre reading the file you remember her words bitter and angry “For almost everyone…” Now it makes sense her friends died and no one was there for her. Fuck. You pick up the phone and dial Pepper. “I know what's going on. Call a meeting in the compound and I'll get there in thirty minutes.”  

You meet up with everyone at the compound. You share the files with the team and everyone is shocked talking with each other until you notice Wanda. She doesn't look surprised. You pull her aside. "Why are you being quiet? What do you know about Y/N." She sighs "It was an accident alright when we came back I looked into her head. She looked so happy I was curious… When I looked she was grieving, tearing herself apart." 

You look at her. "And you said nothing you let us believe that she just didn't care." She laughs. "She doesn't! She doesn't want your help, she made that quite clear already. The one person she thought that she could count on was some guy named Logan." You querk your head, was she jealous, are you jealous. You shake your head. "What else did you see?" Your ask casually. Testing the waters you didn't want to expose Y/N but you have to know what she knew. 

"Was there something else I was supposed to see?" You shake your head no, and make your way back to the team. There's fighting over who should talk to her. "I think Tony should go…" Steve says like it's nothing. You almost laugh. Tony gives you a dirty look. "I think pepper should go." You say matter of factly. She asks you to elaborate. "She cares for you the most, but she is angry not at you in general." She nods and everyone else agrees for lack of a better idea. 

Peppers Pov 

You walk out of the compound with Tony by your side. "You can come if you want to." Your say to break the silence. He shakes his head. "When are you going to tell her that you're her father." He only sighs "I can't tell her… I can't ruin Howard for her because she loved him." You quickly counter "It's going to be worse the longer you wait." You continue "The only reason I didn't push before was because you weren't sure but now you are Tony she's your daughter." 

"That's exactly why I can't tell her now she's dealing with a lot. It's not a good time." You nod "Fine." Is all you can say. You walk into Krast industries expecting to be greeted by a busy work floor but are surprised when you see the exact opposite. You do see a familiar face though commandeering the floor. Logan. "Hey logan how are you? I'm hoping I could talk to Y/N." Logan stops in his tracks. 

"What do you mean if i've seen her? I thought she was with you guys." He says the panic growing in his voice. "Umm… no she's not been with us for a couple of weeks now. Are you sure you haven't seen her and what's going on here." 

Logans Pov 

Of course you knew where she was, but you weren't about to tell them. "Yeah no I've talked to her on the phone I just figured she was with your guys." Pepper is still confused about what is happening. "She asked me to get ready for major remodel… all our employees will work from home for the time being." She nods. "Do you know where I could find her? I really need to talk to her." Well that's not going to happen now. Seen as she's currently passed out on your couch. 

"She might be at home… She does this sometimes. She runs, but i'll give you her address if you really want to talk to her."

Your Pov 

After running into Natasha you went to a bar. A complete rookie move. You knew better, but at the same time you didn't care you've been loading up taking a larger doses and mixing with alcohol. You called Logan to come pick you up and he was there like always. "I can't lose you Logan, I wouldn't survive it. Why does everyone I love die?" He holds his tongue you can tell. "Tell me what you're thinking it's not good to hold your emotions in…" He laughs bitterly. "You think I'd survive losing you Y/N this feeling goes both ways. You're blind to my pain Y/N seeing you like this hurts me it shakes me to my core."

"I'm not blind to your pain… I know you better than I know myself. I'm going to therapy, and before you say it i'm actually talking this time. I'm getting help." He nods "Every step of the way that includes relapsing. Y/N just don't make me lose you." You nod tears building in your eyes. "I won't." 

When you wake up you're in Logan's apartment it's nice. Your head is pounding. You decide to go home… in hindsight that was a horrible idea. You have no idea where you are and also have no idea where you're going.  "Fuck… taxi, TAXI." 

They dont fucking stop you dont blame them you look like trash, hell you feel like it too. You make it to a coffee shop and just sit there. Waiting for what you don't know at least not until the owner comes around. "I don't want to have to kick you out but it's nearing closing time, want me go call a cab." 

You laugh "See id say yes and please but I don't remember where I live." He nods feeling bad for you. "Having a bad day, want to talk about it?" You sigh “I would, but sadly my opening up to complete strangers quota is full for the day.” They laugh handing you some coffee. “It 'll help you sober up, So what is it? Alcohol, meth, let me guess pills.” You widen your eyes. “Don't worry, I'm not judging I meet people of all walks of life.” You nod. “Do you mind if I make a call my friend is probably worried sick.” He hands you his phone and you dial Logan (the only number you know by heart.) “Y/N where are you ive been worried sick. Why did you leave?” 

“I went out for coffee you know to sober up faster I needed air.” He sighs “Can you make your way back or do you want me to pick you up?” You turn from the barista person in front of you. “Um I want to go home but I can't for the life of me remember my address.”  David gives you your address and calls you a cab. You thank him and end the call. “So it looks like I'm heading home in a minute the taxi won't take long.” He smiles reaching his hand out to take their phone back. “I’ll see you around probably…” You nod "probably not.” You say hesitantly, and he laughs. You Are interrupted by the taxi honking its horn. “I hope to see you around by the way. I'm Zack Gordon.” your smile drops immediately. 

You compose yourself before he notices your change in attitude. You plaster on a fake smile and make your way out turning one last time. “We’ll see each other around Zack.” He smiles. The whole cab ride was silent, you're contemplating fate. What are the fucking odds of all the cafe’s you could have walked into you walked into his. When you least expect it you’re in front of your house. You walk in and immediately notice something off. You walk into your living room only to see someone sitting in the dark. You know who it is immediately. “Always with the theatrics, it's starting to get old. Would you like something to drink.” She sighs “Y/N I want to talk.”  You sit clapping your hands causing the lights in the house to turn on.

“Right Pepper talk, i'm listening” Her eyes widen, showing her confusion. “Look, I'm not angry with our team or you, but I just have some crap to deal with… Alone.” Pepper looks down. “You don't have to go through this alone, you have us now.” Your eyes bolt to hers. “And how exactly do you know what i'm going through… You know what I don't need to know because it doesn't matter.” you sigh “I’ve gone through life alone. I dealt with the punches life has thrown my way by myself. This won't be the exception.” You see Peppers complexion turn red, she's angry. “Why can't you stop making yourself a martyr, talk about dealing with children? You and Tony are the only ones who can make me this irritated.”

“Because I'm broken Pepper and before Natasha or Wanda decide to tell you I'm an addict. Everything is wrong right now so I need to take a step away, I need to get clean.” Peppers eyes soften moving to sit next to you. “You know i'm not leaving your side right?” Your eyes begin to water. “I relapsed… it's bad Pepper. I've never fallen this hard and I'm scared.” She hugs you. “I’ve never had this… people who really care it was just Logan and I.  As of recently it was David, Viv, and I. Now I lost them and I can't. I can't sleep, I can't breathe, and I'm so tired Pepper I don't know how much more of this I can take.” 

“Okay come on Y/N let's get you to your room.” You and Pepper stand on your way up the stairs and you start to stumble. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I am very sorry I drank coffee to sober up but it didn't work.” She nods “It’s okay we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” You both finally make it to your room and as soon as your head hits the pillow you fall asleep.

When you wake up you are surprised by your surroundings you didn't quite remember how you got here. You sit up and hear chattering downstairs. You go down stairs, the memories of last night making their way to you now. THE AVENGERS HAVING BREAKFAST IN YOUR KITCHEN. You watch as thor brakes your plates making you flinch. “As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm I dont think Y/N would appreciate us breaking her plates.” you clear your throat and as you do everyone goes quiet. “Good Morning everyone.”

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost. 

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along. 

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was. 

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder. 

----

3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation. 

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it  was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects. 

13: Thats exactly what they did. 

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay. 

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos. 

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you? 

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat. 

------

3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked. 

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly. 

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess. 

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

[martyrgargoyle]

Upon reading your pinned post I feel as though fans of celebrities should not pressure celebrities into activism. If they want to use their platform for an important cause then that's great but they should not be forced to. Because at least when they want to you'll know it is genuine and has good intentions. However if they don't want to or mock the cause you'll know their horrible stance and that will be genuine too.

(pinned post being explaining the Tyler Joseph platform joke and history of racism in 21P) please forgive me if im reading this wrongly or you meant something else, dm me or send another adk but 'forcing' is a very bold vibe and sends the wrong message.

first, im speaking from the privilege of being white and saying what ive seen and heard from POC fans - especially from Black fans due to the platform joke being a direct mockery to BLM. so if anyone reads any of this and take it to heart please let it be to go to Black members of this community and to actually read and listen to their voices on him being racist and racism in the emo community. dont demand to be educated by them but fucking listen to their experiences.

second,,, Black fans weren't pressuring anyone. they asked a rich, cishet abled white man to show support as they're literally having to protest just for their right to be alive and he ignored them until it was time to exploit their fight for a shitty joke. the fact they had to even ask and it's seemed acceptable if 'the celebrity doesnt see their fight as something worthy for their platform its their right and we shouldn't question it' is an issue in general that gets ignored too. its shitty he made the joke but it was shitty when he ignored them in the first place and let his racist fanbase attack anyone that was disappointed or angry at him not doing anything.

21p (and the emo community in general) 'big themes' or message is support for the mentally ill until it comes time for Black fans - especially teenagers or young adults since its the age group the music is generally catered to. then we all fail them because its centered around white tears. anytime a POC is vocal on how theyre being neglected by the fanbase or being mocked by the artist (all tylers previous racist jokes that white fans excused, for example), they get attacked and driven out of the community.

no one expected tyler joesph to be a leading ally, Black fans literally just asked for support and to not ignore the suffering white privilege causes... and tyler made it a joke and then made himself the victim so Black fans would again, be attacked and told theyre overreacting or demanding too much by asking for him to not be racist. pretending that showing support for Black lives being this big burden or obstacle for him or any white celebrity is wrong. hes a rich white cishet abled man. he isnt facing any dangers or fears by showing his support. he isnt going to be killed, get blacklisted, get evicted, lose his job, or anything. the only reason he didnt do anything is because hes racist, no excuses.

you cannot have good intentions if you ignore Black lives to make it a safe space for white people only or because you deem their liberties unworthy of being vocal on beyond a shitty punchline. just like how you cant be a good ally to POC if youre not actively working on being anti-racist and unlearning the privilege you're born with. and if youre not fighting for their rights in your daily life because you got the privilege of being less likely to be targeted for it or face those risks

[mother-snake]

dear sweet little letter,

(angst wih a heap of fluff? yeah... also dont forget if you would like to be tagged in future content, dont hestitate to ask!!!) tags: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo @girl-with-many-fandoms words: 3896 warnings: sad snek times

Roman-

He had been having a fairly okay day. His work was complete but there was a nagging in the back of his mind that had been there since the big argument. he knew that what he said hit a dangerous nerve, but roman had hit one as well. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He could practically feel the bags under his eyes from sleepless nights riddled with guilt.

Well. If he wanted at least a nap then he could just go fix things up with roman. But he just wasn’t sure how. How do you repair damage that seemed far too damaged? roman was never one for confrontation, skirting around the issue. He would just deny that something was wrong until it weathered him down.

An idea crossed his mind. That could work… in fact. He at least knew it was a start. --

Roman had been in his room, curled up in a ball. Janus’s words had struck a deep buried pile of emotions he didn’t want to deal with. But alas. It was bound to happen. so when he heard the knock on his door, he was a little more than irritated. Patton had attempted at least once an hour during daylight to get roman to leave the room. But he had point blank refused.

But if he heard the moral side knock once more, he was going to flip. And the only way he knew to stop that was to open the door.

And that’s what he did. But no one was there. not a single soul. He rolled his eyes but stopped when they landed on something just in his eye view by his feet. a basket. Yellow and red. With colourful things on the inside. he hesitantly picked it up and looked down each corridor that were on either side of his room before closing the door.

His next destination was his desk. He placed the basket of things down and began to unpack. a knitted scarf with his symbol on either end. It was just the perfect mix of warmth and comfort. a small bag of wrapped up brownies. He tasted one. Yeah, these were good.

And then a red rose. Ruby coloured. His colour. it was tied to a letter. This had a yellow wax and a familiar double headed snake.

He looked at the things and was almost hesitant to open it. but he did it anyways.

Dear roman, as you can see, I’ve been busy this past week. I know we are not on the best of terms but I would like you to know that I do feel guilty for what I said. If you belie me or not, that’s up to you. but at least consider this a start? sorry for what I said. I apologise. Remember: you ARE Thomas’s hero. - yours sincerely, Janus.

Roman found himself placing the letter onto the desk. A wave of emotion hitting him all at once. Mainly guilt and a small drabble of hope. He looked at the peace offerings with a slight smile.

Maybe he could do something in return as a thank you. now… what to do?

 Patton-

He had been wandering his room. Pacing back and forth. Thinking and thinking. Had he liked it? an idea crossed his mind. Maybe he could do that for Patton! the two may only now be on speaking terms, but if he could clear up some air. That would be enough.

He opened his bedroom door and made his way to the kitchen. Recipe after recipe coming to mind. --

Patton was lying in his room. Staring at the wall in anticipation. Waiting for the hour to pass to make sure roman was okay. He hadn’t seen the side all too much. and he knew what had happened was taking its toll.

He had re arranged the room twice. From age to size. He was now half way into doing category. but there was something just not right in the air. He couldn’t place what it was… but it was there.

He heard a small knock on his door. Now if there was one thing Patton was good at- it was telling who was at his door. And by not recognising the sound. It was pointed to only one side.

He walked over as quick as possible before opening the door. But it appeared that he was wrong, no one was there. he took a breath before walking back into his room. Only stopping when a small thud of something comes from down below. he picks up the paper bag and makes his way to his bed where he sits down. The yellow ribbon tying it together in a neat bow makes him smile joyfully. he reached his had in and pulled out a jar of… oh. It was jam? He looked in to find another jar and what looked like a ton of baked goods. Some cookies, brownies and muffins mostly.

The letter at the bottom caught his attention. A small daisy attached. He picked it up and examined the piece of paper before opening it up to read.

Dear Patton, I know you are most likely the only person here who doesn’t hate me with a seething passion right now. But none the less. I give you these peace offerings. I know you don’t like lying, but I need you to at least understand this. I can’t change who I am. And I am deceit… I know you don’t like it. that you think its wrong. But I need you to know even when I lie, I'm trying my best… - yours sincerely, Janus.

Patton felt his heart go heavy. What Janus was getting at in the letter clicking pretty quickly in his mind he- no. he was going to make this right. Janus was one of his kiddos. And if he thought that Patton hated him. well. He wasn’t going to stand for it. he was going to make sure that Janus knew he was loved. he would physically fight anyone who dare disagree.

Logan-

He had been in the kitchen this time. He was still in the cold emptiness of the dark side area. He still couldn’t sleep. And he was so close to just getting Remus to- but he couldn’t. the side was no longer here.

He took a deep breath and groaned. Yeah, he was so close to just collapsing in exhaustion. The coffee he drank barely did its job anymore. his mind began to wander again. Wandering over to Logan, Thomas’s logic and reasonable thinking compared to the others. he winced as he remembered placing that skip button down. He didn’t think that anyone would actually press it. he thought they would be smarter than that. guess even he could be wrong about them.

He felt his chest go heavy as he remembered the mark on logans neck he had caught the other day delivering roman his gift basket of peace offerings.

He rubbed his temple, his non gloved hands looked normal, but the black talons on the end were otherwise too sharp to not be. He had barely disguised it when he had revealed his name. no reason for them to get scared. he didn’t need that on his plate as well.

He summoned a small pad and pen. It took far more energy than he would have liked, but not being one of the creativity’s that was bound to happen. Lack of sleep didn’t help either.

He began to write things down. But quickly scribbled them out. no, they wouldn’t work for apologises. And he didn’t know if Logan would want to see him. perhaps he could do that instead? That might work! --

It had been a while; he did leave his room of course. But it was mainly to eat, drink and replace his melted ice with fresh. He had enough work to do and was sick of everyone just ignoring him. so, when he arrived at his room to see his door creaked open slightly. He was not happy in the slightest.

Cup of herbal tea in hand he entered the room to find no one there. but a small parcel wrapped up and on his bed. Brown paper with a bluebell tied to a letter. the insignia told him enough.

He opened the parcel as neatly as possible. Careful not to harm its contents. it was a black box with his logo in silver. A lock and key placed on top. He moved it to the side and opened it up. a blue book. he opened it to find empty pages. But stopped when he reached the final page.

A list off things the other sides had said. Each one a compliment. He hadn’t realised how much they actually cared. he moved to the letter. Opening it up.

Dear Logan, I will be straight as possible with you. neither of us like confrontation. But this is the least I can do for hurting you. I know you don’t like expressing emotion, so why not write down how you feel instead? I hope you can one day forgive me for what I did. And remember, the others do care. It’s just hard to realise that sometimes.

-yours sincerely, Janus

Logan didn’t know what he was apologising for. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was right to remove him from the picture in that moment. The others refused to listen, so he swapped himself out. and that all it had taken.

But as he looked to the box. And then back to the book. then the letter. Maybe it would be good to take Janus’s words… to heart. he placed the book back in the box along with the letter. Locking it up and placing the key in his pocket.

Maybe he should go and talk to Patton. He needed to clear somethings up.

 Remus-

He had missed his friend. sure, he could now sleep, not so much guilt and pressure on his shoulders was eased slightly. But it still wasn’t gone. In fact, it felt worse than it had these past couple days. did the two sides accept his apology? Did they hate him even more- did they forgive him?

Thinking about all of what had happened lead him down that road once more. Thinking about all that was wrong, until they arrived at Remus. His best friend he ever had. Always there when he felt alone… and he had compared him to roman. despite knowing what had gone down, and even Janus knowing roman and Remus’s past… he knew it was only a matter of when for Remus leaving. And two days after the fiasco. two days of blatantly being ignored and glared at. And he was gone.

He would give anything to have that side talk his ears off for hours on end if it meant not being alone. he just wanted his friend back, he wanted someone who knew him. who knew that he couldn’t last without someone to talk to… but he understood Remus’s reasoning for ignoring him; no matter how often Janus tried to summon the side, it was ignored. who would want to talk to a liar like himself anyways?

But still he wanted to make it up to his old friend. Even if there was nothing, he could do to fix it… he could at least try.

Wiping his eyes, he quickly goes to work. Puling out his craft box and placing it on the table. --

Remus had been sat in his room. He had visited roman once the side had finally come out of his room. they had talked. An actual conversation… and none of it seemed too… well. Malicious as most other conversations in the past had been.

Now here he was, looking at pictures that had come with him in his room when he had left the dark side behind. His old friend… he didn’t even know if he could call him that. sure he missed their conversations. The way Janus would relax on him as he mumbled about another grotesque adventure, never once complaining.

But that was long gone. Janus had taken that chance away when he compared him to roman. He was nothing like that light side for certain. But he wasn’t the villain. Neither were. and that’s what pissed him off. Janus didn’t have the right to say that.

And the occasional tug turned into one every now and then. But they just stopped. And he was worried. It was never like Janus to give up so quickly. but he guessed that meant he didn’t care as much as he thought.

But the knocking on his door sent his thoughts out of mind.

He opened his door to find no one there. he looked down to find a black glass jar and walked back in. slamming his door behind. It sent a few things falling to the floor. But he didn’t mind. his attention was on the jar.

And it took a while to open it, but when he did, he wasn’t expecting to find what was inside. a plush. That was for sure. But he quickly recognised it as a heart. Not the valentines shaped one. But an actual human’s heart. The neat stitching, colour choice told him enough. He had known Janus longer than the others.

He looked in the jar to find a letter. It had a small clover attached to it, witch he quickly picked off and chewed. he unfolded the letter and began to read.

Dear Remus, hello old friend. And here we are. Opposite sides. I know you don’t forgive me for what I said… and I know you wont in the future. But at least accept this peace offering. I know you don’t wish to see me in the future… so. If you feel the need to share your thoughts, might I suggest Logan? I feel you two would get on splendidly.

And, I'm sorry for what I said. I truly mean that. -yours sincerely, Janus.

he looked at the letter and at the plush. Tears fell down his face as he realised just how much he missed Janus. who knew that the other side missed him too… heh. surely, he could think of something to show that he cared?

He got straight to planning.

 Virgil-

He found himself unable to move from his place on the bed. Curled up under the covers and feeling nothing. He hated it so much. he wanted to be hugged, to be held to be- he didn’t want this. That was for certain.

He had been thinking far too much recently. He had thought about Patton, Logan, roman and Remus… and now. Virgil. And his heart couldn’t take it any longer. Whatever had been there was no longer wanting to stay.

How had he messed up so badly? How bad did it have to be to scare away his friend? His first friend before Remus… back when it was just those two, then three everything was perfect. and then they had revealed themselves.

Argument after argument drove Virgil further and further away until he left completely. There was very little he could do without feeling supreme guilt about it. the sadness tagged along, that sucked as well.

Now he was lying in bed. So many things reminding him of his friend. He wondered if he had ever been forgiven. and as the last side he had yet to try and mend a relationship for… maybe he could give it one. Final. Shot? --

He guessed not everything was as bad as before since Thomas met Nico. The handsome mad had warmed his way into all the sides hearts. At least he thinks so at least.

His normally black eyeshadow had been more and more purple recently… and only ever went back to that dark colour when he seemed to remembered his past. oh sure, he had actually enjoyed Remus and Janus growing up. their company a welcome distraction he needed. Taking away the bad parts of the dark side and replacing them with funnier things.

But something had changed along the way. Janus had changed. He became desperate. He wanted to show Virgil how the lights were… but Virgil guessed that Janus hadn’t been expecting him to befriend any of them.

He wondered how he was doing alone, much to his own surprise. the knock at his door was sudden. But not unwelcome. He had a feeling it was either Patton or Remus again.

But upon opening the door to find nothing he let out a small confused ‘huh’ as his feet connected with something squishy. there wrapped in parcel paper was something alright.

He picked it up and brought it inside. he could feel something coming of the parcel itself. Residue of sadness and anxiousness. Who brought it to his door?

He opened up the parcel and almost gaped. it was a pretty pastel purple. The pocket and hood were grey, stitches don like his patches had been. his insignia right where it had always been.

And now he was more than- oh… he picked up the letter. Wax sealed with the double snake. He opened it up carefully.

Dear Virgil- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything… I'm sorry. -yours sincerely, Janus

Virgil looked at the hoodie and back at his old one… maybe… just maybe he could do with a little change.

 Janus-

They were all gathered around the kitchen. Virgil had gotten compliments on his new hoodie, roman on his scarf. Logan was busy scribbling something down in a book. Remus seemed to be carrying around a plus more and more often. And Patton seemed to almost be stuck in his head. the room was otherwise silent until Logan spoke up. snapping his head up as if something clicked. “did Janus leave something at your door once this week?” he asked looking around at everyone.

Wide eyes looked around at everyone. “everyone?” Virgil muttered, pulling at the strings of the hoodie. “by the looks of it yes. that’s… I want to say a surprise but I have a feeling it’s not,” roman said. “anyone else feeling immeasurable amounts of guilt?” Remus muttered.

No one needed to respond to that. “well then, why don’t we do something?” Logan said, “we could do something for him together, from all of us,” he continued, getting rather exited.

Everyone smiled at logans sudden enthusiasm. Whatever Janus had given him must have begun breaking some of those walls by the looks of it. “I agree with specks over there. but it’s got to be grand!” roman cheered. “oh! I have an idea!” Patton said.

And soon everyone had their own mission. They each took a separate direction and began to grab everything that was needed. --

Janus hadn’t moved the entire day. He may have been cold. But what was the point? he didn’t know. He looked up to the wall opposites himself to see just how dishevelled he looked. Bags under his eyes, his hair a mess on top of his head. Tear tracks almost stained his face. red puffy eyes showed how he had been crying.

He had been confused to say the least when an exited knock banged on his door. He knew what that was! he found himself standing up and walking to the door. But stopped before opening it as something was pushed under. a small letter. Huh?

He heard as Remus bounded down the hall and away from his door. he picked the paper up and began to read.

Dear Janus, this letter is from everyone. we wish you to meet us in the lights commons at 9pm sharp. We have something for you that should be ready by then. we hope you can make it

-yours sincerely

He looked to see everyone had signed the bottom of the sheet. He was both confused, scared and worried. were they planning something to hurt him? would they just make fun of what he had created. But what if this was it? where they forgave him? would it be worth the risk.

A voice deep down told him that, yes. Yes, it was worth it. and for the first time he listened to it. --

He was standing in his pyjamas. He had been for a shower not too long ago and his hair had returned to its natural poufy state like before. his hands were gloveless. He couldn’t be bothered putting them back on. Remus would only ask him why they were there and the cover would have been blown.

Well. Now he was ready, and he had only five minuets to get there. it wouldn’t take that long to get there as of now. and thus he began walking. Cautiously and with purpose. then he was faced with the white door. And with a gentil sigh he opened the door with a click.

The lights were not on. black filled the entire lights commons. until it didn’t. the sound of a switching flip and he was met with fairy lights and a blanket fort.

He had to blink to make sure he wasn’t sleeping. taking a few cautious steps forward he peaked his head inside. No one was there. one thing however was certain it was so warm. the blankets and heated mat, he could tell there was one in there at least somewhere, and pillows he took a quick glance behind himself and crawled in. there was space enough for him to starfish across the ground with extra room.

The warmth around him filled him with bliss. If you were to listen ever so carefully, the sound of a purr could be heard emanating from his vocal cords. he heard the sound of shuffling and a small knock. he peaked his head out the crack in the side of the fort to see Patton sitting on the ground nearby with a tray in his hands.

“hi kiddo,” Janus tilted his head slightly. “hello Patton,” he responded. “enjoying your surprise,” “no,” he blushed, getting a giggle from Patton. “well… anyways. I’ve got you some cookies and hot chocolate if you’d like some,” he smiled.

Janus didn’t know what to do with this…, “where are the other?” he asked. “sleeping. We spent all day making sure this was stable and perfect,” he gestured to behind Janus where he realised where it was. a window seat. Not just any one…

He felt tears prickle his eyes. Back when they were children. That had been his sun-bathing spot. His own personal bubble. “tell them no thanks,” he muttered, grabbing a cookie from the plate. “you got it kiddo. Now don’t stay up too late. And don’t worry if you hear noise, the others might wake up to see how youre doing,” Patton said, patting Janus’s hair. “goodnight kiddo,” and he was gone.

Janus smiled for the first time in a long time. They had done this for him? just for him… he didn’t know what the feeling in his chest was, but he liked it. no, he loved it.

And little did he know. He would never have to not feel it again… after all he was a part of their famILY weather, he liked it or not. And he would be fine with that.

[handonshipper]

If I Knew Then What I Know Now: Chapter Two

After several hours, Landon got off of the bus in New Orleans and looked around, clutching his backpack. He tensed up as he got into a crowd of people walking around. Music was playing, jazz that he generally would have enjoyed but right now between the people around and the music playing, he knew it could  be very dificult to defect danger. His heart pounded a little before he calmed himself and retreated to an alley.

He opened up his bag and  pulled out a dagger from his small stash of weapons before concealing it. He wanted to make sure around it was easily  accessible. He looked around carefully, thinking.  He needed to keep an eye on everything. and find the Mikaelsons. But what would he say when he found them?

Hope would probably be suspicious that he had appeared normal but was actually knowledgeable about the supernatural. But the real 15 year old Landon hadn't been. He had no idea. But this was 18 year old Landon trapped (possibly permanently) in his 15 year old body.

How could he possibly explain everything to her? And he was a mess. He was not good to be around, and he knew it. He sighed softly and continued looking around as he walked down a back street less chaotic than the main busy streets of New Orleans. His senses were on high alert.

The human hesitated before rejoining the busy street and looking around a bit. Suddenly, he bumped into someone, automatically tensing up as his hand reached for his weapon just in case. But then he saw the familiar face and felt his grip loosen. The one person still alive that he truly trusted. He trusted everyone else at the school to a degree. But Hope and Rafael were the only ones he has ever trusted completely in his whole life. The woman he loved and his foster brother. Who currently didn't even know him.

"Landon?" Hope Mikaelson questioned in surprise.

"Hope" Landon said, relief flooding his voice as he looked at the girl he loved. It felt like it had been years since he had last seen her. The girl he kept fighting to get back to.

"What- what are you doing in New Orleans?" Hope looked at him.

Landon hesitated briefly, his mind spinning on what to say. He didn't want to lie to her but also wasn't sure what he should say. "I just got back from a... long and not very pleasant trip. I decided to come here once I got back. I've always wanted to come. It's home to some ot the greatest musicians of all time"

"What about your job at the Mystic Grill?"

"I don't work there anymore" It was true for his 18 year old self at least

Landon was already doing more talking than he had done in a while. He wasn't used to being around people. While he was always comfortable around Hope, he also still didn't want to talk all that much. Yet at least

"Oh" Hopr said, her tone faint with disappointment, and Landon suspected she too was thinking about the Peanut Butter Blasts with whipped cream on the bottom that she ordered and he served her whenever she came to the Mystic Grill. "Have you found a place to stay in while you're in New Orleans?"

Landon shook his head slightly. "No. but I will find somewhere" Somewhere to camp out for now, he added silently. He had little money, and Hope did not know he knew about the supernatural world.

"Right... well I was about to head home. It's been a long... couple of weeks actually. Family stuff. But, uh, if you need anything, vo to Rousseau's and ask around for me. And maybe I could give you a tour while you are here" she said, seemingly hesitant. She looked as though she both didn't want to talk and also wanted the distraction the tour would provide.

"You don't have to if you don't want to" Landon said. He both wanted to avoid people as well as remain with Hope by his side, his anchor the one that had kept him going. The one he  fought to get back to.

"I do" Hope said. "I need to head  home first, but I'll meet you here  in two hours? " Hope gestured to Rousseau's

Landon nodded. "l'll be here " he promised her

"I'll see you then" The tribrid walked away to her home.

Landon looked around, thinking about everything. He retreated into an alley and continued walking, trying to find a good place to camp out for the night once night came. It took him a bit, but he found an abandoned building. Landon looked around a bit and opened up the door quietly.

It was a bit dusty but not the worst place he has camped out it. He had to keep moving in the prison world, never could stay at the same place. The longest he had risked it was at the Salvatore School at the beginning. He had stayed in Hope's bedroom, surrounded by her things that had brought him so much comfort. But the building became dangerous  as the monsters further invaded and destroyed it. So he had left and started moving from place to place each night.

Landon pulled out his blade and turned it, knowing it would be a good idea if he had some vervain considering he was in New Orleans. Just in case. Though he did have a wooden weapon in his bag. Dr Saltzman kept himself stocked with weaponry. Probably because he used to be a vampire hunter.

Eventually, Landon put away the blade and headed to Rousseau's. He walked inside and looked around. cautiously, waiting for Hope as he sat at a table. Soon, she walked inside, and he straightened up at the sight of her.

"You came" she said

A slight smile formed on Landon's face. "I did"

"Come on, I'll show you around"

Landon stood up, and the two of them walked out of Rousseau's. There was a little bit of silence, neither particularly wanting to talk in general but also finding comfort in the presence of each other.

"You seem different" Hope spoke up eventually, looking over at Landon.

It was true. He was more mature and distant. Tense. Though her presence certainly helped. But he had just gone through Malivore and fighting for his life,, fighting to get back to her.

"So do you" Landon observed, noticing the pained and guilt filled look in her eyes. "I guess we have both been through a lot since we last saw each other." He tore his gaze away and looked ahead.

He breathed out a little slowly as he saw more and more people. He hadn't been around people in a while, and it was a lot to take in being here. At least he didn't have to worry about gargoyles or dragons or anything else. Assuming this was real and he had actually traveled back in time. Though he still wasn't sure, considering the last monster he had seen had also been the one to make him believe he was rescued over and over again. But it had never happened like this.

"Yeah" Hope said quietly. "I guess we have" She cleared her throat and began giving Landon the tour she had promised him. "So how long are you staying in the city?"

"I'm not sure yet. It depends on my reasons to stay"

"Well, what about school?"

"I could ask you the same question" Landon pointed out with a faint smile.

"Right, well, I'm dealing with... family stuff and then I'm going back to the Salvatore School" Hope explained vaguely. "You're probably better off not roaming around at night here. Did you find a place to stay?"

"I did. Thanks for the tour"

"It's no problem. Honestly, I could use the distraction" Hope tugged down the sleeves of her jacket.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Landon asked. "I'm here if you want to talk. No matter how crazy it sounds" He wanted her to know he was there for her

The tribrid shook her head a little and continued walking. After a bit, she took a seat on a bench, and he sat down beside her, looking at her curiously. He didn't ask her again, not wanting to push her to talk. Just as he wouldn't want to be pushed to talk about what he had gone through in the prison world.

"My... my mom died a few days ago" Hope said finally, looking at the street ahead of them. "And it's hard to explain, but its my fault. And I haven't been able to get my mind off of it" She swallowed thickly.

Landon nodded a little at her words. "Well, whatever happened, whatever part in her death you think you played or did play, I'm sure she would forgive you. I doubt she'd blame you for it. I've met people. I've gotten good at reading people, and most of them aren't that great. But I can tell you're a good person, Hope. So whatever happened, try not to beat yourself up about it."

"You don't even know what i did."

"No, I don't, but I can tell you are a good person. I've always been able to see that."

"I've been trying to avoid family members" Hope said, though she looked like she wasn't sure why she was telling him this. "But when you live with a big group of them, its kind of hard to"

Landon looked at Hope, his gaze soft. "Whatever it is you're going through right now, you'll get through it. And remember you're not alone."

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Or why I'm spending time with you. It's better if I keep my distance"

"Better for who? It's okay to talk to people, Hope. And its okay if you dont. But just know you have people willing to listen and be here for you. I know you barely know me, but I'm here for you"

"Thank you, Landon" Hope said, looking at him. She suddenly stood up. "I should get back home."

Landon stood up and headed down the street with her once she started walking. "I'll walk with you"

"I'm fine, Landon"Hope said, but it then started raining as they neared the Mikaelson home.  She hesitated, "Do you want to come in to stay dry? Just for a little bit."

Landon hesitated. "No, I'll-I'll go but maybe I'll see you soon before either of us leave New Orleans"

"Yeah maybe. I'd like that" Hope said before swiftly going inside and closing the door.

He smiled a little and waited a moment before going off to the abandoned building. He slowly opened the door and took a step inside. Landon ran a hand through his wet, curly hair, moving away from windows so there was less of a chance he was seen but also close enough to the back exit he could take off.

He set his backpack down and unzipped it.  The unactivated phoenix took off his soaked shirt and replaced it with the Mystic Grill shirt before setting the other shirt out to dry. He needed to get more clothes. Figure out somewhere he could bathe here. Once it stopped raining, he'd go exploring. He needed to get a better idea on the area and what to do.

What should he do?

He knew the future. He knew what Hope would be forced to endure. What they all would have to go through. Maybe it would be better if he just... changed it. Maybe it would be smarter to ensure Malivore never rises.

Landon took a seat an put his head in his hands, trying to think about what should be done. He needed to help Hope. And if her mom was already dead, she likely had the Hollow magic in her already. But if she didn't, he needed to stop it. He loved her. And she deserved to be happy. It was the right thing to do.

Wasn't it?

After everything Hope does for everyone, doesn't she deserve to be happy and be able to live with her father?

[bloody-wonder]

I kinda have a take and just wanna clarify its not @ u. (This is Part 1) So lots of ppl rlly like Aaron and that's fine ofc I cant tell anyone who to like and who not to but ppl that do tend to try and say that hes not actually homophobic in canon which is simply not true. Or they try to justify it somehow. Aarons homophobia honestly ruined any chance I had of liking him (same with seth) and ppl sometimes say that if u dont like Aaron for that then u cant like Neil or Wymack cuz they're ableist

(Part 2) and have they used ableist language? Yes. But is there actual evidence to suggest they hold prejudices against disabled/neurodivergent ppl? I dont think so. Neil only uses this language once and its clearly to rile Kevin up, theres so much evidence that he admires Kevin and I dont see Neil looking down on him for his disability at all. Wymack-he uses ableist slurs more but he still signs neurodivergent players and I cant say I genuinely believe he thinks any less of them for it.

that’s an interesting ask!

first of all, ofc no one can tell you which character to like and which to dislike. everyone chooses their faves for personal reasons and no one owes anybody explanation for why they like or dislike them. however if you want to explain why you dislike aaron as opposed to neil you’ll have to come up with different arguments bcs so far it looks like you have double standards. 

it’s true that aaron is homophobic. you say there’s no justifying it or explaining it away and i agree but aren’t you at the same time trying to justify neil’s and wymack’s use of ableist language, to discard it as unimportant and not worthy of calling out or being a reason for disliking someone?

has aaron used homophobic slurs? yes once, if you count “flamer”. how many times have neil and wymack and other characters called andrew crazy, psycho or retarded? i don’t know exactly but more than once. now you say that it doesn’t count bcs they don’t seem to hold any prejudice against disabled people. well by that logic any straight ally can use the f-word freely bcs it’s just a word after all. but it’s not just a word, it’s a slur and if you call somebody like that it won’t be a good look no matter how many lgbt people you know and how many fictional gays you ship. and the only difference between homophobic and ableist slurs is that the former ones at this point are taboo in a civilized conversation bcs we’ve learned to interpret them as signs of bigotry whereas the latter ones still aren’t even registered as slurs by most people.

when neil called kevin a cripple - what does it matter if he generally has no prejudice against disabled people? he specifically used an ableist slur with an intention to hurt. let’s imagine that kevin’s gay - would neil use an f-word in the very same situation to hurt him? probably not. but it speaks not so much of neil’s character as about how normalized ableist slurs are. for if neil has ever used an f-word it would be much harder for him to become a fan favorite, however words like “cripple” and “psychotic” directed at a disabled person and a person who probably struggles with mental disorders we just let slide. did he want to hurt them? he did. does he generally have any prejudice against disabled people? well idk the only ones he interacted with in canon are kevin and andrew and he totally used slurs against them with ill intention.

does aaron really have prejudice against gay people? it seems he does but if we continue this thought experiment then the only gays he interacted with in canon would be nicky, andrew and neil. when he called neil a flamer - this is the very same situation as neil vs kevin. aaron wanted to hurt and used the slur he thought would accomplish it. aaron never called nicky anything like that and all the rudes comments he made against him that are usually interpreted as homophobic are partly call outs for being inappropriate and partly expressions of discomfort at his relative graphically describing his sexual desires. 

if neil calling kevin and andrew, who he at that point perceived as dangerous, ableist slurs isn’t a sufficient indication of his prejudice than why is aaron calling neil, who he perceived as dangerous, a homophobic slur a sufficient indication of his?

i believe that disliking aaron has more to do with how the story is told from neil’s perspective - not only bcs they hate each other but also bcs aaron gets very little screen time. all that he is and does behind the scenes is surmised by the reader and so he either becomes a homophobic jerk who uses slurs in his head frequently (just like neil uses ableist language) or he becomes an angry misunderstood boy who’s constantly made uncomfortable by his cousin. there’s room for interpretation and only you decide which way it goes.

all aftg characters have done problematic things which range from making fun of each other’s grief and trauma to harassment to armed assault. if we put homophobia and ableism into this perspective the would be roughly on the same level of “badness“ in my opinion. the differences between them would lie not in which character holds more prejudice or uses more slurs objectively but in what type of bigotry you subjectively think is more unforgivable and likely to ruin a character for you. you will never like aaron bcs he’s homophobic, those other people will dislike neil bcs of ableist language and i will forever be angry at nicky and his rapey comments and actions. we all have double standards and we don’t like these characters for their “goodness“ and lack of problematic character traits bcs they all have some. we like them bcs something in their personalities speaks to us and in that we either acknowledge their flaws or ignore them. 

i personally think acknowledging is a better way.

tl;dr you certainly aren’t obliged to like aaron just bcs you like neil but explaining neil’s ableism away isn’t an efficient way to rationalize it. maybe there’s no way to rationalize it at all so you just say yes i dislike aaron bcs he’s homophobic and i just can’t ignore or forgive that and at the same time i like neil although he’s ableist without ignoring or justifying it. basically just acknowledge that your fave’s problematic and move on🤷

[cosmiccstuff]

“Ten years after the canonical events of Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel Pines are reunited with their great uncles for one last adventure across the world. Joined by Pacifica, now a close friend of the twins and romantic partner to one of them, as well as Mr. Mahina, a hearty boat captain who has been travelling with the Stans for a few years, the Pines family must solve the world’s mysteries that nobody else would dare to decipher, make sure the dangers of the past are no longer there to harm them, and kick complete ass while doing so.”

hi my name is zachariah and I made a cringe au for my cringe middle school interest... its not really an au its kinda just a theoretical gravity falls season 3 so um. yeah I have been working on these for like a month and im just glad to post it at this point sjhfjdsjf

more notes under the cut!! also reblogs not likes uwu

-since I know thisll never exist and therefore I can do what I want, this would definitely not be a Y-7 show on disney (fuck disney actually alternate universe me is helping alex hirsch steal back the rights to this show) and since theyre all older I think this’d be pg-13 or maybe even MA just because I want mabel to say fuck lmao

-when I say “pacifica is dating one of the twins” I mean shes dating mabel (even all these years later, mabifica still fucking rules), I’m just theoretically straight-baiting people lol (though, dipper and pacifica dated 2 summers after the OG GF summer, if that makes u feel any better, its just that it didnt work out and also shes a lesbian now so... lol)

-the twins went to college!!! mabel is an animation student at my shitty parody of calarts, and dipper is a journalism student (he specifically does supernatural journalism which would be an important part of the series) at west coast tech. also pacifica goes to the same school as mabel and is a fashion design student (I have a drawing of dipper in drag bc of her if anyone wants it lol). their schools are miraculously in the same general area so they share an apartment!! more on this later if I end up continuing this

-themes of this series/season/au/whatever would b like. generational trauma, recovery from abuse (every single one of the main characters have been through some form of abuse besides *maybe* dipper and mabel which in itself is even debatable), self redemption/self forgiveness and like. maybe even some coping with loss thrown in there. also found family DUH what else would I do

-noa/mr. mahina (and his dog scuttles) are new!!! so he originally wasnt gonna be a main character or anything but I got,, really really attached to him and ended up making him into an actual full-blown well rounded character so here we are! uhh what else can I say about him,, hes 63 (4-5 years younger than the twins, this takes place in the summer and his birthday is in december so idk) and hes just an old artsy himbo who loves his dog. absolutely no secrets or backstory here :) nope not at all :)

-samuel is dippers best friend, I wanted to incorporate him more but the boat was getting crowded and hes the least connected to the entire family as a whole so hes less relevant sadly :( he and dipper met in Jew Club™ and then ended up being roommates their first year and it just spiraled from there, if this were a real thing id make it so he facetimes the twins a lot and maybe even gets to visit bc I really love him and think he works well with them all

-ford is super depressed uh,, I guess not entirely but he REALLY spends a ton of time moping about how he basically fucked up his entire family for generations and the fact that he ruined a ton of shit so um. yeah. hes my fave though so expect some good shit >:) also hes gay as hell lemme clear that up lol

-can you think of some reasons for stans memory loss issues besides old age?? :)

-finally; you dont get to know anything about mary. does her name sound even remotely similar to any other name though? shrug. I dont know. 

regardless of how many notes this gets expect me to make more because I have SOOOOO much content I have been wanting to upload but I havent been able to because I havent posted any of these so :)

[meanminyxrd]

believe but its ab a redheaded runaway

alright so today i’m tackling ‘believe’ by hollywood undead. i think the vibes can fit both andrew and neil, but moreso neil in this connotation. as always, book spoilers ahead. i’ve been forgetting to put that lately.

let’s start w the chorus and opening of the song:

I can't believe that when I breathe

There's something good inside of me, just one good thing inside

So close to me, that memory

Of that one good thing inside of me, just one good thing inside of me, yeah

neil is, inherently, a selfish person before he gets attached to the foxes. think ab it: he cares only for his survival and nothing more, nothing less. that takes a certain type of apathy towards other people, which was taught to him by his mother. stay disconnected, stay safe. care for no one but yourself. when he starts seeing that the foxes care for him, and he’s just... playing them, essentially—lying to them about who he is and where he’s come from—he acknowledges that they’re never going to forgive him for ditching them later on in the year; specifically andrew, because he promised andrew he would stay. he feels like a bad person but it’s what he has to do to live. he wants to stay and play exy and be able to focus on something other than survival for once, but he knows it’s all just a play in his head. in the end its about his survival.

If I ran out the backdoor, nobody would stop me, but where would I go?

'Cause I ain't ever had a real home, so what do I know?

So I could keep running, hide until they find me, but what would that do?

If they could only know what I knew, what would it prove?

I should've seen the writing on the wall, instead I'm left to fall

'Cause the longer I'm away, the more we stay the same

Looking back, would've thought I knew it all

Instead I'm left to fall, did I throw it all away?

neil is a runaway. it’s how he’s managed to survive this long; running away and keeping on the move to avoiding his father’s men tracking him down. never leaving a trail, never staying anywhere for too long and never making any connections. when he leaves, there’s no one there to stop him both physically and metaphorically. no connections means he isn’t held back emotionally or by someone forcing him to stay. he’s never really had a home, being on the run his whole life. its all about survival, but neil signs the contract to palmetto, right? he knows he could keep running to stay safe but really, what would that do? is that really living? he wants to open up to people im sure, but what would that prove to them? in his mind it would just show that he was a bad person—dangerous. keeping kevin around is one thing; kevin is an exy star. he’s worth it. but neil? neil is nothing. why would they risk their life for a nobody?

saying he should have seen the writing on the wall alludes to all the hints that his father’s men left that they were closing in on him, however he ignored it just to be able to stay a little longer—play a little longer. instead he ignored it and fell. looking back on it he thought he had a handle on it and would be able to get away or at the very least accept his death, but it actually hurts. he got attached without realizing. and now he’s wondering if any of it was worth it. is this worth losing his life for? or, did he do enough w his time with the foxes and with andrew? or did he throw away that time for nothing?

Don't you know, little boy, they'll lay you to waste, man?

Little do they know every song has a lifespan

Never taken one, but I'm taking my last chance

To hold all we know and let go with both hands

So don't you know the clouds are made from concrete?

Right through the stone, can you hear my heartbeat?

Beats through my bones like the memory left me

Not for a second or a minute when I dream

I wanna go home like the home that I keep

You can dig six or sixty-six feet

‘don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man?’ his father’s men want him dead and he knows that. they’re who he’s been outrunning his entire life (and i suppose the yakuza but he didn’t know that.) he knows attention is being drawn towards him by being in the public eye, so this is like he’s mocking himself, because he knows he’s taking a very big unnecessary risk. he’s never taken a chance in his life before because its always been about survival. but this time he is taking a chance. he’s taking a chance by joining the palmetto state foxes. but by taking this chance it is metaphorically the last chance he’ll ever take, because at this point he’s 99% sure he’s gonna end up dead by the end of it all. ‘dont you know the clouds are made of concrete?’ referencing that the only way out for him is by death. whether by someone else’s hand or his own. the only way this whole catastrophe is going to end in him being ‘at peace’ or ‘in heaven’ ie the clouds, is if he’s killed. digging 6 or 66 feet down implies ‘6 feet under’, again a death metaphor.

We could live forever, still your misery missed me

Hold this song together with a bottle of whiskey

Look into the mirror at the lines that time drew

See them painted white and the eyes that shine through

My heart beats heavy in an open chest

And I wanna say goodbye, but there's nobody left

he could have gone to his dad and flipped everything on his mom instead, or run off to live with his uncle, but the anger that his father had missed neil. yes, neil had his father’s temper, but his father was tainted with misery that neil didn’t get and he didn’t want any part in the crime scene of things. ‘look into the mirror at the lines that time drew, see them painted white and teh eyes that shine through.’ this part to me is in the mirror after the nest, when neil is first really seeing his scars, ‘the lines that time drew’ would reference like old age lines stereotypically, but in neil’s case i see it a reference to his scars because that’s what marks time for him—his scars. the scars that his dad and his dad’s men left. the scars that riko left. the scars he has just from living. the ‘eyes that shine through’ is because neil no longer has his contacts. when wymack gets him from the airport he has nothing of his disguise left. and god, is he tired of running. his heart is so heavy. he wants to be able to say goodbye to someone when he dies, but there’s no one left. his mom is dead and he has no connections other than, now, the foxes. but being in this mindset of its him vs everyone, he’s alone. he cant say goodbye to anyone but himself.

I broke it all, and I put it to the test

Put your hand on mine, and feel this emptiness

There's no beat in my chest 'cause there's nothing left

No, it ain't goodbye, it's a last caress

What's another dream? You can hardly sleep

Can you believe bad things only happen to me?

God knows one day you will finally see

That scars will heal but were meant to bleed

neil, by making these decisions, broke every self imposed rule he had for himself to stay safe. he broke the rules his mother had set in place prior to her death, and he tested the limits. he chanced trusting, if just a little. he chanced making a connection. specifically, with andrew. so this part is really andreil heavy for me. let me explain why.

this part is almost like the locker room scene when his father’s men were being security guards and he knew he no longer stood any chance. he says goodbye to andrew in that moment, and this last part is a big goodbye message to me.

he’s empty. he’s out of fight. he cant fight or he would risk the foxes lives too. there’s nothing left inside of him. he says thank you to andrew as a goodbye, but it’s not a goodbye, no, it’s a last touch, one last joy to share even if it’s small. ‘whats another dream? you can hardly sleep.’ what’s the loss of something you lose all the time? what’s the loss of something that doesnt matter? neil doesnt think he matters to andrew, and so what will his loss mean, if anything? why would andrew care? the ‘can you believe bad things only happen to me?’ is a mocking quote if anything; bad things have followed neil around his whole life, and though statistically its not true only bad things happen to him, it sure feels like he’s got the worst of it. and even in the off chance that andrew does miss him, the emotional scars will heal, even if it does hurt. because neil doesnt think he matters as much to andrew as he really does.

Do you realize I would lie for you?

Please, have my last breath, I would die for you

I know I'm no good, but my heart beats true

You know I'm gonna fight, though I might be scared to lose

You took me in, and I fucked it up again

An empty promise? No, I won't pretend

'Cause in the end we need someone to solve 'em

Nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem

he would give everything to protect the foxes. he cares about them more than he’d like to admit. he may seem distant, but do they realize how far he’s willing to go to ensure their safety? first he went to the nest to protect them, right? now he’s literally going off to his death to keep them safe. he would lie for them, he would die for them; he would throw away everything he could and couldn’t have for them. he doesnt believe hes a good person, for putting them all in this situation, but he’s trying his best. his heart has the best intentions for the foxes. in that ‘goodbye’ to andrew, he conveys so much, and andrew obviously catches on that it’s a goodbye. but neil conveys that he’s gonna fight, even if he’s scared he’s gonna lose, even if he knows he’s gonna lose. andrew took him in after everything; after being sus of neil and then neil telling him half truths, and yet he’s fucking everything up again by going off to die. and empty promise? there isnt an empty failed promise because he made andrew break off the deal beforehand. in the end, andrew was the one who was helping to fix him. the connection he formed with andrew made him feel like he had a shot; like maybe they could outwit his father and he would be safe. however, this whole situation including himself couldn’t be fixed because he is a part of the problem. he blames himself for the foxes being a target so to keep them safe he will go off w his father’s men and remove the issue. no one can fix him and keep him safe if he’s the dangerous one.

uhhh yeah i hope you liked my breakdown! here’s neil’s playlist if you’re curious for more! see ya next time.