#i dont have a negative opinion on moon but even it i did not everyone is gonna like ur blorbos

[spaciebabie]

Hey if you're gonna post negativity about a character could you maybe censor their name in the tags so it doesn't show up in the main tags for people who like that character

im not sure what chatacter this ask is alluding 2 b/c i dont remember "posting negatively" abt a character but im assuming this is abt the comic i made yesterday so let me clear something up,

right off the bat, i do not hate moon. i am not "posting negativity" about him. what i am doing is engaging in playful teasing of my audience. i know they like him (as do i) and am pointing the finger at them and saying, "haha! you wanna kiss him so baaadd :]]" in a lighthearted manner. its based off a series of comics i made back in june-july where sun n y/n kissed and then ppl started asking me "when's moon kiss?!?!" if you're new here i like ta poke fun and in this case im teasing yall. i like him too.

2nd: if i am going to post negatively abt a character (which i almost never do) i am NOT going to censor the tags. if a person doesn't like my takes on a character that much, they can block me. we've had this discussion on tumblr before, but censoring tags is not good b/c it makes using the fiiltering system harder. tags are there for a reason. if anything i just wouldnt tag the character or add some sort of "character negativity" tag er smthn.

[just-some-random-blogger]

meow meow, catmom! this day must be rough for me so hope youre doing better! this cat TT hope its for good luck. 'i read this in the morning but i had .. its night now' were so SAME TT 'but i get where theyre coming from' yeah me too but still. i was young and confused af. 'let me apologize' no you dont need to >:( 'knows all the lewd stuff about it' OH YES. idk in russian the 'polynomial' is literally pronounsed? means? includes words 'many members' (i dont even remember what its about). and in russian member and dick are literally the same word. so EVERY time teachers in the what? 5th? 6th? grade are just ._. while children are laughing at this word.... my classmates still did while being in the 11th grade... men yuck. 'BUT I SAW THE PAWLESS CAT TODAY' hope hes doing fine TT and Putol sounds just... logical. so ok let him be. 'at least not dead' i usually answer like this when asked how am i. 'DAMN THAT WAS SARCASTIC' well not really maliciously sarcastic. just not the same sorry you thought it was. 'ur so dry' im humbled(( 'i will never believe you again' meowmeow TT i was telling the truth after all?? 'BUT YOUR STORY IS IN MY QUEUE NOW' FHDKFO and whats its number? 'which one do you want me to do first btw?' ik you dont need my opinion anymore but id say anyway. im VERY eager to know whatre you gonna do in the wfal(TT) but?? im already waiting for a lifetime so? im REALLY REALLY excited to see what youre gonna do with the keep. anyway im eager to read both. 'so waht if its humid if its like negative degrees?' its easier to breath??? TT these southern people... 'st. petersburg is warm?' no TT but its like WOW its 0 C there... rn its warm. but. i just mean the weather there is more wet? there are lots of rivers, water, rains and all so in winter it can be as chilly while having higher degrees. but they have the wet time of cold while in the real north its dry frost. and more difficulties with breathing. 'i hope youre satisfied.' was it THAT bad? TT i feel like that nerd from the american movies who sais something to a laughing group and everyones suddenly silent... 'i hope youve found peace' oh NO. 1) i hate irresponsible people 2) im VERY angry with her 3) im living through this rn. were literally going to talk to her abt all the shit shes done today. but im glad youve found your peace. SOSO finally the cover TT its so angelic TT your voice is still >>>>>>>>>>>> its the chefs kiss TT catmom im so proud of you. and your still so gorgeous, hottie-cutie TT your hairss so pretty and your eyes are so captivating TT your so hottie-cutie TT and DAMN your voice is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! editing(?) is also vvv good! idk how these layed lines called even in rus but!! youve got gold hands!! also!! ive read this last fic puppy love and wish i was her (idk why i didnt read it back then). so with the second one. im in love TT like not with the sisters fighting over a man but the desperation EVERYONE feels. everyones inner conflict is !!!! got me so excited. like rhaenyra want to be like her sister and thats why shes pining after daemon? and daemon want to be with the reader so when shes not available hes pining after her sister(but idk i wanted to say something else but dont remember)? and the reader want to do whats good but also whats good for her but also being tired of all this mess? YAY got me screaming. and the puppy love TT you absolutely cant have me reading things like this. ive got the softest spot for starks (even if idk a thing abt them) TT the north theme ig. i love them, the snow, the moon, the wolves so theyre my comfort house (its so ironic knowing ive never seen got..). also i noticed the 2nd person pov and how do you feel abt it? was it harder to write? the reader isnt damsel in distress but still... patriarchy... idk if it does mean what i want it to mean but its not an insult TT shes fine. shes good. ig youve made her the way you (at least wrote that) wanted to. how is your queue? what plans do you have for weekends? howre u? thats all ig. have a nice day/evening/night/weekends/life! take care! luv you<з

this isnt a cat but this is me when i dance T_T HAHAHHAHA

good morning my love, at least its 11am when i was replying to you.

this day must be rough for me so hope youre doing better!

AWWWW T_T I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY WHATEVER HAPPENS I KNOW YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT <3

this cat TT hope its for good luck.

i mean i dont wish you anything bad but only blessings

'i read this in the morning but i had .. its night now' were so SAME TT

big brains think the same

'but i get where theyre coming from' yeah me too but still. i was young and confused af.

me at english HAHAHAHA

'let me apologize' no you dont need to >:(

T_T i already did its fine

'knows all the lewd stuff about it' OH YES. idk in russian the 'polynomial' is literally pronounsed? means? includes words 'many members' (i dont even remember what its about). and in russian member and dick are literally the same word.

💀💀💀💀 HELP WTF HASH:FASFHASHF HAHAAHAHAH

so EVERY time teachers in the what? 5th? 6th? grade are just ._. while children are laughing at this word.... my classmates still did while being in the 11th grade... men yuck.

IDK THIS IS KINDA FUNNY BUT ALSO YUCKY ALL AT ONCE HAHAHHAH;ASHF;LHASFHASL;FA

'BUT I SAW THE PAWLESS CAT TODAY' hope hes doing fine TT and Putol sounds just... logical. so ok let him be.

nah you can say it, my grandma was kinda mean for that T_T but omg my love T_T MY GRANDMA FOUND A DEAD STRAY CAT IN HER WASH BASIN THIS MORNING aslfhasfl;khasflhasfhalshfasfhalsf asfahf it was so sad and scary and our neighbor threw it away. i felt bad and wanted to volunteer to bury it but i also didnt want to touch the dead cat. T_T i wish my dad was here to bury it T_T but hes at work so T_T JUST A LOT TEARS although i didnt cry

'at least not dead' i usually answer like this when asked how am i.

and it oop T_T the cat that looked like Tol was the one that died. RIP my love

'DAMN THAT WAS SARCASTIC' well not really maliciously sarcastic. just not the same sorry you thought it was.

k HAHAHAHAHA

'ur so dry' im humbled((

/: k HAHAHAHHA

'i will never believe you again' meowmeow TT i was telling the truth after all??

'BUT YOUR STORY IS IN MY QUEUE NOW' FHDKFO and whats its number?

it's the in the keep then that so i finished that first lol HAHAHH

'which one do you want me to do first btw?' ik you dont need my opinion anymore but id say anyway. im VERY eager to know whatre you gonna do in the wfal(TT) but?? im already waiting for a lifetime so? im REALLY REALLY excited to see what youre gonna do with the keep. anyway im eager to read both.

WELL I FINISHED WRITING IT AND I JUST POSTED IT NOW GO READ IT AND SEND ME YOUR ANALYSIS OFF ANON LIKE YOU PROMISED!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDD

'so waht if its humid if its like negative degrees?' its easier to breath??? TT these southern people...

/: hey u think i know how snow works 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 im sure you'd burn the first day you step foot here /:

'st. petersburg is warm?' no TT but its like WOW its 0 C there... rn its warm.

everytime you say its not cold/warm and then say its 0 degrees T_T YOU DO KNOW THATS FREEZING POINT RIGHT WELL NOW YOUKNOW

but. i just mean the weather there is more wet? there are lots of rivers, water, rains and all so in winter it can be as chilly while having higher degrees.

sounds like a one way ticket to clogged sinuses for me. wet + cold = sniffles lol but also i like this discription you've given me. sounds very nice HAHAHAHAH

but they have the wet time of cold while in the real north its dry frost. and more difficulties with breathing.

why is it harder to breathe in dry areas? ok google said it irritates airways lol HAHAH

'i hope youre satisfied.' was it THAT bad? TT

i mean it wasnt bad but i only snorted when i read it AHHAHAHA

i feel like that nerd from the american movies who sais something to a laughing group and everyones suddenly silent...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

'i hope youve found peace' oh NO. 1) i hate irresponsible people 2) im VERY angry with her

damn T_T [hugs]

3) im living through this rn. were literally going to talk to her abt all the shit shes done today. but im glad youve found your peace.

T_T I HOPE YOU FIND PEACE TOO MY LOVE I LOVE YOU

SOSO finally the cover TT its so angelic TT your voice is still >>>>>>>>>>>> its the chefs kiss TT catmom im so proud of you.

and your still so gorgeous, hottie-cutie TT your hairss so pretty and your eyes are so captivating TT your so hottie-cutie TT

T_T 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭thank you so much my love, i was thinking a lot about how i looked and i was like it doesn't look like im singing it but I AM but HAslfhaskfhaf im honored you think so highly of me my love

and DAMN your voice is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! editing(?) is also vvv good! idk how these layed lines called even in rus but!! youve got gold hands!! also!!

IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE LAYERS I LOVE THE LAYERS!!! they're called voices! simple as that AHHAHA. Thank you i love my hands even though they're so veiny. im luv them <3

ive read this last fic puppy love and wish i was her (idk why i didnt read it back then).

BECAUSE YOUR MEAN THATS WHY YOU DIDNT READ IT [cries] lol AHHAHH

so with the second one. im in love TT like not with the sisters fighting over a man but the desperation EVERYONE feels. everyones inner conflict is !!!! got me so excited.

LASHFLASHFLASHFAF HIHIHHHI THANK YOU SO MUCH I ALREADY READ THIS BUT IM SMILING ALL OVER AGAIN BECAUSE OF HOW SWEET YOU ARE

like rhaenyra want to be like her sister and thats why shes pining after daemon? and daemon want to be with the reader so when shes not available hes pining after her sister(but idk i wanted to say something else but dont remember)? and the reader want to do whats good but also whats good for her but also being tired of all this mess? YAY got me screaming.

YOU GET IT

IM SO GLAD YOU CAUGHT ONTO THAT! IM SO GLAD THAT YOU GET IT :ASFHKASFKASF CRRRRYYIINGGG

I LOVE THAT FIC SO MUCH BECAUSE OF THE CONFLICT I MADE AND YOU MADE ME LOVE IT ALL OVER AGAIN even now i still think about that p2/a scene i wanted to add in the fic but didnt write it cos i got lazy lol. ur making me wanna maybe make it

and the puppy love TT you absolutely cant have me reading things like this. ive got the softest spot for starks (even if idk a thing abt them) TT the north theme ig. i love them, the snow, the moon, the wolves so theyre my comfort house (its so ironic knowing ive never seen got..).

LITERALLY ME AS;FGASFASG HAHAHHAHAHAHAAH I HAVE THIS STARK UNIVERSE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH BECAUSE I GET TO NOT ONLY WRITE ABOUT DAEMON AND CARAXES BUT READER (WHO IS A STARK) AND HER BB WOLF WHO I NAMED HAVOC ASLFHLAS;HFHSAFSFLSHAFHSAF ASF I LOVE THE NORTH THEME SO SO SO SOSO SOSOSSSO S MUCH TOO even though like you i have not watched nor do i think i ever will watch game of thrones AHHAHAHHAHAHA

also i noticed the 2nd person pov and how do you feel abt it? was it harder to write?

no. i have written 2n person before. i appreciate it because it allows me to write thoughts for the characters outside of yn. ive realized why i usually dont write in other perspectives because then id have to use a name or (Y/N) WHICH I PERSONALLY LOATHE its fine if others use it, but i personally dont want to use it so. yeah. i have a bunch of fics written in second person! i usually use it when my plot isnt too focused on yn.

the reader isnt damsel in distress but still... patriarchy... idk if it does mean what i want it to mean but its not an insult TT shes fine. shes good. ig youve made her the way you (at least wrote that) wanted to.

HELP I guess you dont like her very much HAHAHAHAH that's fine! i was exploring writing more 'time realistic women' i wanted to show an alternative of my usual characters. she is not outspoken 'like a man' nor does she assume the worst for others, rather much like she how was brought up, she is more passive and naïve, and yet she does not let Daemon speak for her, because she at the very least knows how to properly conduct herself and treat others. <3 i love her for that. she may not have the guts to raise a sword but she will stand for what is right. <3

how is your queue?

its good! im planning to sneak a pedro pascal fic past everything just cos i have a mutual that has been rotting my brain with pedro HAAHA

what plans do you have for weekends?

probably do assignments and write. maybe i;ll try learning that halsey song too

howre u?

IM SO FUCKIGN HOT AS IN ITS SO HOT HERE IM BEING BURNED HELP ME its almost sunset not but THE AFTERNOON WAS HOT

thats all ig. have a nice day/evening/night/weekends/life! take care! luv you<з

I LOVE YOU! HOW ARE YOU MY LOVE I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY FIC AND I HOPE YOU GOT THROUGH THE DAY WITH VIGOUR I LOVE YOU! BYE i have a class in like 9 mins lol

xxx

[sassrubyexists]

This is all true. People almost always dont listen to what sun fans have to say. They always brush it off with:"moon couldnt control how he was". Like no. Moon has stated MULTIPLE times that he doesnt wanna be this way. Instead of trying to change, he just feels guilty. Hes not doing anything by that, he should have atleast tried to do anything to become better. But no! He shares his guilt instead. He sees the issue, though doesnt try to change! Even if he became better than before, hes still horrible. Its honestly unfair how people say sun is the main focus now. Im sorry but everyone had their turns of being the one with the terrible mental health, so why are some complaning. Hell, most of the fans dont even focus on sun or have negative opinions about him because of his mistakes but dont ever consider why he did what he did. And those fans with old moon? "Poor moony!","he didnt deserve that","its not his fault","he must feel so guilty now,poor him". Like what. And those fans with sun? They nag. "Its his fault","he kinda had what was coming..","damn, he really messed up-" ect. Its alright if someone likes old moon as a character. But supporting his actions is ridicolous. We should accept characters flaws, not shrug them off just because you wanna see that character in a bright light. That wont do anything. They want him to be a good character(by a good character, i mean a decent person), they would rather not see the issue..and honestly think why some people just now realised he was abusive was because they were way too focused on the characters causing visible problems in show, mainly eclipse. I would say moon abusing sun was visible, but some need more time to realize I suppose.

You arent alone in thinking this. Thats why us, sun fans should seriously start talking about this. Ive seen some in the theory chat(in discord) talk about how moon was abusive, thats a start! And ive seen some in the comment section talk about that. Maybe its not much, but its better than nothing. All we can do is spread the fact that old moin was toxic and that sun pretty much has it the worse..I dont wanna compare the characters issues, but sun got made his life a living hell from the day he was made.

Sun deserves better

TW vent..

I'm so tired of some of fans of Sun and Moon show.. especially some of Old Moon's fans.. cause they turn blind eye on how abusive he was towards Sun with this whole "his character development was destroyed when he lost his memories"... No. He barely had any character development.. like he slightly changed and then he returned to abusing Sun the same way and it was repeating over and over again during the whole time Old Moon was in the show... He couldn't even apologize to Sun in his last message to him...

Also do you know how you sound when you say that people only care about Sun while Moon's mental health is declining... Everyone's mental health is declining in SAMS cast... I don't want to compare everyone's issues, trauma and struggles.. but Sun most definitely is mentally ill.. like he has hallucinations and every night he has nightmares and his trauma is the most one that is often times completely brushed off...

Just give me a break... You act like that one toxic spouse whose second half is very sick and all you do is that you whine how it affects you and your mental health... Like you can't be that dense, can you? I know that life with mentally ill is most definitely challenging but if you love that person you still take care of them...

It's just so awful when people (mostly some of Old Moon's fans) have an issue with others being concerned about Sun's mental health when he suffered through so much and he's still suffering.. Also many people only recently realised how abusive Old Moon was towards Sun...

I don't know what to tell to such fans.. maybe "go, touch some grass.." cause they seem so detached...

And also if something happened to New Moon it would be totally his own fault because he didn't say anything to anyone... Just use your brain and stop making fools of yourselves...

[astrorising]

you dont have to answer this it sort of a weird question but a long time ago taehyung said that when he was younger he had an unrequited love are there any personal astrology placements of his that could make him do that?

interesting question!

taehyung has a lot of not so great aspects to his moon so i believe he really struggles with his authentic self and emotions. from his chart, his cap heavy placements aspecting his impulsive aries moon, i think that is exactly what he struggles with.... impulsiveness. see, from my own opinions, i know he definitely knows what is better for him at times; but with those harsh aspects concerning is moon; he sometimes acts on his emotions and does not think about the consequences after words. i believe taehyung knows what he wants, how to get it, know how certain situations and circumstances can play out; sometimes it's the excitement that can blur his judgement when he should reflected on it first.

also with these harsh aspects of his, he tends to not know how to express how he feels sometimes. at times, tae can feel very alone as in, he doesn't feel like he belongs. so, when taehyung speaks, he means what he says. as impulsive as tae can be, we have to remember this boy is capricorn dominant so there is a lot of rationale in his personality as well. his mercury is fairly well aspected, meaning tae means what he says, when he has thought it over. even though he may be confused at times how he feels about certain things; there are times where he puts upmost importance and he will speak from his heart about things he loves. i think is mercury sextile pluto and his conjunctions with his mercury really shows when he is speaking at performances. taehyung is quirky, but when he speaks everyone listens.. because you know his words are genuine and his words reflect deeper than just hearing it yourself. he has the ability to make metaphors roll off his tongue like he invented them. well, he basically did. and most of the time, it's like word vomit to him. like is said, he acts on impulse ;)

basically, to sum it all up, theres a lot taehyung off camera we don't get to see. at times impulsive, at times taehyung can easily shun the world and go off the grid, at times he scrambles just to find the words to say, and at times he knows exactly how he feels and what to say. to me, he is very human :) comparing to old videos and younger taehyung, i believe he has actively improved a lot of these qualities and has had quite the self discovery journey over the years. he is very optimistic and has a lot of great karma coming to him throughout the years, and he has a great ambition he will 100% will not be scared to work for. aside from the negative, taehyung is extremely hard working and is prone to be motivated by things that intrigue him. although jupiter does sqaure his saturn, he posses a lot of ambition and drive to work through potential lessons (maybe even hard lessons) he may have to work through. taehyung definitely learns best by experiences!!

[crystal-witchiness]

***Okay so I found this in my notes from May 2021 as a reaction to the scenes in the beginning of Endgame when Captain Marvel first brings Tony and Nebula back to Earth, when they first get off the ship, and when Tony yells at Steve a few scenes later when he looks like ‘Death Warmed Over’ in his robe and i thought I’d share -

Every time someone argues with me about my ABSOLUTE 100% belief that Steve and Tony had romantic feelings for each other, I’ll just show them this scene. “And I needed YOU.” He didn’t say “You guys” or “Your help.” Tony looked at Steve with so much pain in his eyes and said, “I needed y o u.” And Steve is just as broken watching Tony. This isn’t the first time this has happened between them. They had MANY scenes like this in Civil War (but I like to pretend that movie didn’t happen cause ‘ow blow a hole in my ship why dontcha?’) I mean technically I could submit that whole movie as evidence of their feelings but there are too many negative emotions wrapped up in it and it hurts. This movie is the first time they’ve seen each other since Civil War and when Tony first gets off the ship he basically falls into Steve’s arms. First of all, Steve fricking S P R I N T S when he sees Tony getting off the ship, then Tony sighs in relief and lets Steve take his weight. AND IMMEDIATELY begins unloading his grief about losing Peter cause he knew Steve would understand and comfort him. You can SEE s e e when Pepper runs up that (Ofc Tony does another sigh of relief that the snap didn’t take her (which I wish it did sorry Pepper your character stopped being interesting in the 2nd Iron Man)) Tony has to pull himself off of Steve and pretend to have it more together than he does because Pepper immediately begins crying and Tony has to comfort her. But Steve doesn’t leave his side. Tony cradling Pepper but he’s turning his body so that Steve can cradle him and ugh. Honestly I would have accepted a polyamorous relationship. Tony NEEDED someone to be the leader. THATS LITERALLY WHAT PEPPER WAS TALKING ABOUT. Tony NEVER rests because he always thinks he has to be the one to do everything, EXCEPT for when Steve’s around. Steve is the Captain and even though they bump heads (a lot, awww couples’ squabbles) Tony ALWAYS defers to Steve when it’s important. And Steve? Steve HAS to be a leader, to be helpful, in a healthy way because he couldn’t be that for most of his life in the past. He was a scrawny defenseless guy who always had to depend on Bucky. So to be able to take care of this group of wonderful people who are so powerful and yet STILL NEED STEVE? It’s who he his. It’s who Tony is too but he doesn’t WANT to be that way, he does it because he has to. He does it when no one else can or he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. This scene right now is Tony feeling helpless and so he lashes out at the easiest person, Steve. Steve is their leader and has saved them many times. Tony saw that picture of Peter and couldn’t handle his own feelings of helplessness so he lashed out to bring down the next ‘leader figure’ of the group. Steve and Tony have always been the parents of the Avengers. Steve is the most dad-est dad ever to dad. Meanwhile, Tony invites everyone to live with him while feeding them, clothing them (armor and civilian clothes) and making sure they have top of the line protection. HE LITERALLY EVEN SAYS THIS IN AGE OF ULTRON. SUCH a mom. So he wanted to make Steve feel his pain because Steve made a promise that they would lose together and Steve wasn’t there on that moon. And OF COURSE Tony knows that Steve was on earth fighting his own battle against Thanos but he wasn’t WITH Tony. And they are always stronger together than apart. (Civil War kinda proved this too) Tony sees Steve’s absence as the reason they lost, because ‘if only they’d been together’ ‘maybe we could have won if we’d only been together.’

ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TONY LITERALLY GIVING STEVE A REPRESENTATION OF HIS HEART. I know he did it out of anger and to make a point but he took away this piece of him, that he made SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE FELT VULNERABLE WITHOUT THE ARC, and gave it to Steve. Once again shedding that responsibility and giving it to Steve. Because even with the residual anger over Civil War, Tony trusts Steve. He says otherwise in this moment out of anger but that “vision” he talks about here? He literally watches Steve die (YEAH THATS RIGHT I SAID STEVE. Not PEPPER, NOT RHODEY, NOT ANY OF THE OTHER AVENGERS.) Wanda showed him his worst fear in Age of Ultron and it was the death of the Avengers, but he didn’t see THEM die. Everyone else, Thor, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were already dead. Tony watched STEVE die and it was STEVE saying that Tony could’ve saved them that spurred him into creating Ultron. He was so scared of losing them and letting Steve down (and letting him die) that he wanted to wrap the whole world in armor to protect him. And he tries to do it again in this scene. He means it to be spiteful but he gives Steve his armor and tells him to hide from Thanos. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING UGH. Tony doesn’t know that out of all of the people who fought Thanos in Wakanda that day, Steve was the one who engaged in hand-to-hand combat with him. Everyone else had armor and suits, weapons, etc. Steve has his serum strength and he u s e d it. It didn’t help for very long but he used his BARE HANDS to fight an alien-monster wielding 5/6 of ALL POWERFUL infinity stones, and ofc he was never going to win, but even Thanos looked at Steve in incredulity at his bravery and resolve. A human (a super charged one at that but still a human) fought him with his bare hands and wasn’t going to stop. (Steve proved this again at the end of Endgame when he’s the last one standing against Thanos and his entire army and just tightens the strap on his broken shield, (and most likely broken arm, based on the flinch/hiss) and readies himself to fight alone. Steve also gave Wanda time to destroy the mind stone (unfortunately, that didn’t mean anything in the end)

AND YET Tony doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t know how hard Steve fought, just like Tony did on Titan, to stop Thanos. And I REALLY wish we had seen Tony’s reaction to Steve standing up to Thanos at the end of Endgame OR EVEN WIELDING MJOLNIR, but anyways.

Back to the basics. Boss level stuff most people don’t remember or think about- Tony’s dad very unhealthily IDOLIZED Steve. He canonically compared everything Tony did to Steve. So Tony grew up idolizing this man that he also despised because it fueled his father’s abuse of him. Tony shows this anger in the first Avengers. When they have their argument on the quinjet. “Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” He even says something about how Steve didn’t live up to his father’s hype (I don’t remember Tony’s exact words but that’s the gist) And ofc Steve says Tony’s nothing without his armor. But then they go on the prove each other wrong multiple times, but mainly in their last moments in the MCU. Steve proves it by standing alone against an ENTIRE alien army and later by picking up mjolnir. And Tony? Tony is that ONE factor in a million that Stephen sees. Tony, a beautifully pure human-being, with no powers or serums to help, takes on the powers of the stones. KNOWING it would kill him. He had proof. It nearly killed Thanos and Bruce and they were hulking (pun intended) beings with super strength and all that.

Tony and Steve were always set up to be spoils to one another and that makes them perfect together. They balance each other out. Pepper was a boss b****, no doubt, and I loved their relationship in the first two Iron Man movies, but as their characters grew and Tony’s personality was intrinsically changed through trauma- Pepper was no longer right for him. She was good for him, no doubt, but Tony couldn’t relax with her as he did with Steve. Tony could trust Steve to take over and everything could be fine. Pepper was like that for Stark Industries but not in other ways. Tony always saw himself as Pepper’s protector. I will 100% give her props for telling Tony that he’d never rest until he tried Scott’s time travel theory, but other than that she wasn’t particularly supportive of Iron. Man. What Pepper never seemed to understand, and what Steve didn’t understand when he FIRST met Tony, is that Tony and Iron Man are synonymous. Their is no ‘man outside the suit.’ Tony Stark is Iron Man and Iron Man is Tony Stark. Steve was placed into an already created persona of Captain America. Steve didn’t create Captain America even though that’s who he was. He was literally MADE for the role. Tony on the other hand, MADE Iron Man. He was the one who built the first suit - dying in a cave in Afghanistan. He was the one who took responsibility for Obadiah and his father’s actions and became a superhero to save the countries that were affected by Stark tech. Steve may have volunteered to be a superhero because he felt like he had no one other choice but Tony DIDN’T HAVE TO. He had fame, money, power, ALL OF IT. He could’ve EASILY hidden his company’s dark underside once he found out. But instead, Tony was like “Hey um so my company has done some bad things and instead of delegating aid through my money and power, I’m going to personally handle this with a titanium alloy suit and technology that I helped create in a cave while being held captive by a terrorist cell.”

Where was I going with this? OH YEAH.

I will believe in TonyxSteve (Stony) for the rest of my life and I will use fanfiction to fill the void of their deaths. Basically, if I lost anyone in the word vomit above, what I’m trying to say is that- Steve and Tony completed each other. They provided something the other needed. Tony needed stability and protection. He needed to feel like he could let go. Steve needed an anchor in the present. Someone lively and opinionated, SOMEONE ADVENTUROUS AND FUNNY, who Steve could smile with and protect. But also. Steve trusted Tony to be a leader as much as Tony trusted him. They had their ups and downs. Trauma and the Accords didn’t help their relationship at all, but should’ve been it for each other. And I honestly believe they would have t h r i v e d.

.

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Honestly I applaud anyone who made it this far. I don’t know where this all came from but I will not apologize✌🏻

I rest my case your honor.

[heywardsarchive]

a beautiful dream

Remus Lupin x reader                                                                                Remus is my absolute favourite marauder and he doesn’t get enough love. So in his honour, enjoy this oneshot.

warning: fluff to angst, remus being pessimistic and a few swear words

gif not mine credits to the owner

this is for Ria’s 2k writing challenge. @im-a-writer-right​

word count 4k words

lets begin~

Magic had made many things possible. It made many things easier as well. But there were some stupid things that in my opinion were stupid. One of those things was the idea of soulmates. Who gave the ministry of magic the right to decide who i was meant for? Well, if i’m being honest at first the thought of having a soulmate fascinated  me. I was so happy to know i had someone out there for me. Well, that was until i developed a crush on none other than Remus Lupin.

We met on the hogwarts express before first year started. I was sitting in a carriage with my oldest and most annoying best friend- James Potter. James was like a brother to me, a very annoying possessive brother. He made sure to sit with me on the carriage and make me part of his group. Basically what was his was mine as well. Anyway I became the fifth marauder. The  mom of the group. It was upon me to look after them (mostly James and Sirius because they were both big babies who needed loads of attention.) and make sure they didn’t do anything too stupid (I obviously failed most of the time and they always ended up in detention) Some people even called me their mom. 

I’m getting off track. Where was i? Ah, yes. The whole soulmate thing. Basically on your 16th birthday you develop a connection with your soulmate and can hear their thoughts and feel their emotions. Isn’t that like an invasion of privacy?My friends say that I’m just being difficult because i have a crush on someone else and cannot accept the prospect of him dating another person. I hate to admit it but they are right. 

my 16th birthday was in a few weeks and James decided that i needed a huge birthday party and there was no way he was taking  no for an answer. After a lot of protest from me and a lot of bribing from James and the occasional puppy dog eyes from Sirius I gave in. They started giving out duties to everyone. I while on my prefect rounds had to help Sirius sneak out to Hogsmeade where he would buy drinks. I made him promise not to get any alcohol but was he going to listen to me? No. The days flew by very quickly and i was not happy. I made my unhappiness very vocal among my friends. They were surprised because i was one of the few who hated the soulmate system. To get to the bottom of the whole situation, the night before my birthday, they surrounded me asked  no demanded I tell them why i suddenly hated the whole soulmate thing. After beating around the bush for i long time i sighed and said,” I have a crush on Remus okay? I can’t bare the thought of someone else being his soulmate.” “Aw honey, don’t be sad. What if Remus is your soulmate?” Lily said, trying to lift my spirits. It was a good effort but i was still dejected. They saw my sad state and dropped the subject. I was grateful for that.

We chatted a bit more after that but i was tired so i went to bed. I could have slept in but no, at 8am Lily, Alice and Marlene blew a party horn so loudly near my ear that i thought there was fire and woke up frantically. My face must have been a sight to see because they burst out laughing. Meanies. To make my morning even more eventful, the boys were waiting at the foot of the staircase waiting for me to arrive just so they could wish me so loudly that the entire gryffindor tower woke up. “That was unnecessary.” I scolded them. “Yes mummy.” said Sirius and i shot him a glare. “So y/n any plans of finding your soulmate today?” James asked throwing an arm around me. I had totally forgotten that from today onward i could another person’s thoughts. Ugh. 

“Well?” Said James looking hopefully at me. “I don’t like the whole idea of soulmates anymore, you know that James.” I said looking at him. For some odd reason, i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Weird. I ignored it and threw my arm around the Sirius’ shoulder. “So Pads what do you have planned for yours truly today.” He put his arm around my waist and head on my shoulder. Jealousy washed over me. Why was my soulmate feeling all negative emotions? It wasn't wierd to me because sirius was like the brother I never had. "Well love, we have planned something extra special for you." "Tell me what it is." I have him puppy dog eyes. "You'll get to know soon enough." I gave him one more pout before giving up. "Ok that's enough." Came a voice. Remus. "Let's go eat breakfast." I nodded and followed him and the marauders to the Great Hall. Lily, Alice and Marlene had already been seated there and saved me place. I sat down across Remus who was picking at his food. The full moon was close so he probably was unhappy. "Remus are you alright?" I asked. "Yeah, just peachy." I decided not to press further and let it go.

I chatted with the girls for a while before telling them I'm going for a walk. They seemed happy to see me leave probably because I knew they had a surprise planned for me before my party. Anyway, I sat under a tree near the Black lake and thought that I might as well contact my soulmate since we're stuck together anyway. I closed my eyes. "Hello?" No reply. I tried again. "Hello? Soulmate, you there?" Maybe they weren't 16 yet. (Remus' birthday is in march so if your birthday is before March 10 just pretend it's not)But wait, that's not possible. I could feel their emotions just a few hours back. Was my soulmate ignoring me? Uh, rude. "Ok mr soulmate if you don't want to talk to me that's fine. I'm as unhappy about this soulmate rubbish as you are since you're clearly ignoring me." Guilt. Aha caught him.

"I wasn't ignoring you. I was busy." Oh so now he replies. "Well that was rude." "I'm sorry." Atleast he apologized. "So what year are you in?" Wait that was a dumb question. He's probably in his sixth or seventh year like me. "I'm in my sixth year." "Oh! Me too! Which house are you in? Im a gryffindor." "Yeah, I'm a gryffindor too." Okay. So a gryffindor sixth year. I probably know him. "Do I know you?" "Probably. What's your name?" "Y/n." I felt shock wash over me. After that there was no reply just a series of shit shit shit. The cursing stopped abruptly when he probably realised I could hear him. He started singing dance like a hippogriff to cover up his thoughts, I think. I guess my soulmate likes someone else too. I decided to return back to my dorm until the girls decided to take me to my surprise.

When I walked into the dorm I expected it to be empty and not filled to the brim with balloons? Why were there a million balloons in my dorm. "It's for your surprise. Crap." Ah so he is one of the marauders. Oh dear god please not James. I can't see him in that way. This is bad. Then again maybe it isn't the marauders. They could have told the other boys what they were doing. You never know with those boys. They covered my eyes with a cloth and then sirius picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Dear god what is happening? I was carried a long distance before I was set down on the grass. "Can I take off the cloth now?" "Not yet, not untill Lily and the others arrive." I waited for about five minutes I think when the cloth was removed. "Happy Birthday!" They all cheered. They had brought to me to my favourite spot on the courtyard near the Black Lake. Lily had brought a birthday cake that was frosted with (f/c) frosting. "Aw guys that's so sweet of you! You didn't need to do all this for me!" "Come off it (y/n/n)! You do this for us every year! You deserve it!" I smiled at them. How did I get so lucky?

"you deserve the world" Thank you soulmate I appreciate that. But that comment made my suspicion that my soulmate was one of the marauders stronger. I was determined to find out who it was.

Remus' pov

After we gave y/n her cake and gifts the girls dragged her to their dorm for some girl time and to get ready for her birthday party. When we returned to our dorm, I shut the door and sausy. "Guys. I have a problem." "What's up dear moony? " Sirius said. "I found my soulmate." I told them. "Finally! I guess they turned 16 recently. But why is it a problem." "It's y/n." Sirius smirked and James snickered. "So our darling star (your nickname cuz of your animagus being a wolf.) Is your soulmate. And that is a problem why?" "I can't date her. Im a monster what if she hates me?" James sighed. "Remus, if she hated you she wouldn't have become an animagus for you, she wouldn't hang out with us and she's have stopped talking to us a long time ago." "He's right you know, and besides y/n has a crush on you." Peter piped in. She likes me? Y/n likes me? I thought.

"woah there soulmate I don't even know you. You mustn't always listen to rumours." Oops I forgot she could hear my thoughts. Dang it. "Also soulmate please stop feeling 5 emotions at the same time because it's very confusing." Yep it was our sassy y/n alright. "Sorry." No reply. I started to get ready for the party. I dressed up in a simple shirt and pant. I read a book while waiting for the boys to get dressed. "Nice book. Whatcha reading?" Came her voice. "Little women. It's a great book." "I must read it one day then. Or maybe I can just hear you read it." I smiled at her. She was so sweet. "Yes I know I'm sweet." She commented sarcastically. I laughed and shook my head. "So soulmate when will I know who you are?" "You won't like me if you know me." "Don't be so pessimistic, you're just like my friend... REMUS? IS THIS YOU?" Shit shit shit "no it's not Remus." "I don't believe it. Remus, what are you so scared of?" "Look I'm not Remus and i dont have time for this right now. Goodbye."  How could i be so stupid? Before i could think anything else, the boys had gotten dressed and were ready to head downstairs. 

y/n was waiting in her gryffindor robes for Sirius at the portrait hole so he could go and get the required supplies while y/n did her prefect rounds. Luckily for me i didn’t have rounds today. I would have to deal with the consequences later. She saw me and looked like she wanted to say something but Sirius dragged her out saying that if it got too late they would get caught. She sighed and reluctantly followed him out. “Okay, what’s going on between you two?” “She figured out i was her soulmate and i got frantic and told her i wasn’t.” “Why would you do that?” “I don’t know, i got scared.” James just shook his head and patted my back before returning to charming the room to be soundproof and putting the decoration up. Not long after, the party had started. Sirius and y/n had returned. she went up to get dressed. She returned wearing the most beautiful (f/c) sundress and I think my heart just stopped.

"take a picture it will last longer" "what? I wasn't staring at you. I don't even know where you are." "Don't lie Remus we both know it's you." I didn't reply. The party started and it was loads of fun. Everyone was dancing and having a gala time, but I couldn't take my eyes off y/n. She danced with her friends and laughed with others. The party went on untill midnight when everyone retired to their respective dorms. I knew I was going to have to face y/n in the morning and I was scared. But I put my thoughts aside annd went to bed. I couldn't sleep much that night. I ended up waking up at 6 and decided to read in the common room. I sat by the fire side and started reading.

'I want to do something splendid...something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after I'm dead.'

"I don't know what, but I'm on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday." Said a voice. One I know very well. Y/n. "I read the book you know, after you said that I was good. I finished it in a day." I avoided her eyes feeling embarassed. I felt betrayal wash over me. She was definitely hurt. "Why did you lie Remus? I thought we were friends?" "I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to believe that someone like you is my soulmate." "What do you mean?" The hurt in her eyes was replaced by concern. "You know what I am y/n. I can hurt you in so many ways. You deserve someone who will be able to take care of you. Someone who doesn't need to go running every full moon." "And yet we're soulmates. Remus, if we were not good for each other we wouldn't be soulmates." "You were the one who didn't like the soulmate system." "That was because my heart belonged to someone else, you. I had a crush on you since 4th year. I couldn't accept that maybe we were just destined to be friends." "I liked you since third year too." "Then why won't you just let me love you? I accept you Rem. If I didn't I wouldn't have become an animagus for you. I wouldn't be friends with you. I love you and I care for you. Accept that." She smiled at me and held my hand. I could feel all the adoration she had for me. "If you're sure." I told her and closed the gap between us. I could feel fireworks and my heart felt complete. All I felt was her lips moving against mine and how happy I felt. I pulled away and smiled at her. "I love you too."

Just as the words escaped my lips I heard wolf whistles and cheering in the background. "Our moony has finally grown up." Said James wiping a fame tear and sirius laughed. I looked at y/n and she hugged me. "Im still pissed at you for earlier but I can't stay mad at you for long can I?" I laughed and pecked her lips. I was finally happy.

*****

We were sitting in the common room a few moths later when James and Sirius ran inside yelling at each other. Lily sighing as she walked behind them. "Y/n your children are fighting again." Y/n glared at Lily and I snickered. She elbowed me hard. "Firstly I am not their mother during the school term. Secondly why are you two bickering again?" "You clearly act like it." Marlene muttered and y/n just ignored her. "James hexed snivellus and blamed it on me and now Minnie is behind my life!" "James! That was wrong. When will you ever act your age?" "See?" Marlene yelled. Once again she was ignored. Sirius and James kept bickering when all of a sudden sirius looked at me all seriously. "If y/n is our mother does that mean you are our father?" Marlene and James burst out laughing and y/n looked like she wanted to strangle Sirius. "SIRIUS BLACK FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER IN SCHOOL!" The whole room fell silent for a few seconds before laughter filled it again. This time y/n joined in too. I love her. "I love you too you know." She turned around and winked and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Seventh year came and went by quickly. We were on our way home for the last time on the Hogwarts express. Everyone was discussing their future plans. I stayed silent. Who would employ a werewolf? Y/n literally sensing my discomfort came closer to me and held my hand. She shot me a small smile and I instantly felt better. I studied her profile and realised how much she meant to me. The train came to half. We walked out slowly taking in the feeling of the train. We stepped out of the carriage and hugged each other goodbye. "We must meet up often." Said James who had an arm wrapped around Lily's waist. (They were soulmates. Big shocker am I right?) Everyone nodded in agreement. Everyone started to walk away in their respective directions. I held y/n's hand and told her to wait a bit. She looked at me questioningly. "I've been thinking-" "uh oh." She snickered a bit. "The last time you were thinking you thought I would not want to be with you." I glared at her a bit and she suppressed her laughter. "Marry me." "What?" "You heard me. Let's get married. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I felt various emotions wash over me. Shock , fear, love and finally pity. "Remus I love you too but aren't we tok young? We just finished Hogwarts. I would love to marry you. Just, not yet." "Alright thats fine." She could tell I was hurt but made no comment.

A few days passed we barely spoke to each other. Suddenly out of the blue she aparated into my apartment. "Ok, let's do it. Let's get married." "Wait. Seriously?" "Yes." She pulled me in for a kiss. "I thought about it and I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." I was ecstatic! Over the moon! She laughed at my reaction and I fumbled to pull out my mother's ring. "This was mum's before she died. And I want you to have it." "Rem, this is so beautiful. Thankyou." "Let's go tell the others and your parents and my dad." She nodded. We told everyone and they were all happy for us. We got married a few months later in a small ceremony. We moved in together in a cosy apartment which we bought together. A few months after that Lily and James got married. Life was looking better for us. Lily was pregnant. Soon after that a dark lord called voldemort was on the rise. He was killing muggles and wizards alike. Everyone was terrified. On July 31 1980 Harry Potter was born. He was the ray of light in our dark lives.

All of us spent our time together savouring every minute. Then came the prophecy of the chosen one. The child born on the end of July who could kill the dark lord. He had decided that it was Harry and was out for his blood. Lily and James had to go into hiding. A fidelius charm was placed on both sirius and y/n. Only Sirius' name was disclosed. Then Peter was put under the charm as well. Then the dreaded happened. Voldemort had come to know about the Potter's hiding spot and killed them. Baby Harry was alive but lily and James were dead. Sirius was put in azkaban without trial although it was the rat Peter who gave out their location.

Y/n who had been studying to become a lawyer in the wizengamot fought for custody of Harry after he was placed under the care of his horrid aunt. After all, she had the right to do so as she was his godmother and the Potter's will stated that Harry was to be under her or Sirius' care. I saw her come home in tears after our best friends had died. She promised herself to avenge their death. It killed me to see her blaming herself so much. After a long year of her hard work, Harry's custody was finally passed onto us. I was so proud of my wife. The next thing y/n had to do was prove Sirius' innocence which was an easier task. She declared herself as the second secret keeper and after being put under verataseruim Sirius was declared an innocent man and Peter was being searched for. Things started to look up again. Y/n started to laugh again. She spent most of her time with Sirius (who temporarily moved in with us) Harry and me.

"Remus, do you want children?" She asked me one day out of the blue. "Ofcourse I do. But what if they inherit my lycanthropy?" "Then we'll love them as I love you." I hugged her tight. A few months later we got the news that y/n was expecting. I felt immense joy. I had never been happier. Harry was already 7 by then. He lived a happy life surrounded by people who love him. When he started Hogwarts he had a little god sister to look after. We named her Hope after my mother. She loved Harry and Harry loved her. She didn't inherit my lycanthropy which was a relief to me.

Everything seemed fine for many years until voldemort was on the rise again. We fought a battle once, we could do it again. With that thought in mind, y/n and I stood together, holding hands as the death eaters attacked the beautiful castle that I once called home. We stayed together the whole time. When I was duelling a death Eater another one came from behind me. He muttered a curse. "No!" Y/n called jumping in front of me taking the hit of the curse. She fell down on the ground with a deep gash on her chest. She started breathing heavily. "Remus.." "No no you can't die." I sobbed. "Im not worth dying for." "Oh darling, you are worth everything. Don't cry Rem, think of the good times. " "No" I sobbed. "Kiss me one last time, hug me one last time, tell me you love me one last time and tell Hope that she's my world." I sobbed but obliged. I hugged her and kissed her hard. Pouring out all my sadness into it. "I love you y/n. Always." "I love you too my love, always and forever..."

3rd person POV

Just as the words died in her lips, his world had ended. He felt a numbing silence wash over him as the reality of her death hit him. Everything felt around him felt like a blur because all that was left of his beloved was a beautiful dream.

[prof-zimbrane]

i still dont know who to ship. zadr or zapmr. on one hand, zim is a 70+ year old alien and dib is 12, but both have childish mannerisms and mindsets. on the other hand, both zim and the prof are adults and similarly boneheads, but the professor has canonically seen zim as a child and dibs school friend. both are morally bad, zim being an adult but zim also being seen as a child by everyone. solution: i ship zim with my own irken oc lmao

It’s cool! You shouldn’t be forced into shipping something just cuz they’re popular. If you can’t stomach either of those two, you could try shipping ZiM with characters from the show that are shown and proven to be of similar age to him and who treat him as an adult (although ZiM always ended up doing them wrong in one way or another).

Shipping him with an OC is imo an amazing way of exercising your creativity in developing backstories and (if enough effort is put in) can even be more engaging/interesting than what’s given in canon/fandom.

Here are some other options though if you want to search for some other fanmade content (yes I’m a multishipper. feel free to unfollow if any of these ships or any of my opinions bother you, I apologize for that):

ZiM x Tallests (any iteration) has been my guilty pleasure ship before I thought of shipping him with Prof Membrane, especially in the context of them studying in the academy together. This ship does have a major power imbalance though. In Short Supply by ckret2, is an absolute masterpiece of epic (155+k words) proportions that look into a serious relationship with Purple and Zim (features MPREG and it is incomplete though).

ZiM x Skoodge or ZaSr is also really cute and a lot more wholesome than other ships. There’s not much info on Skoodge but!!! he’s one of the few characters who CAN appreciate ZiM for who he is and actually likes him in canon. It seems a bit one-sided though but with fanon anything is possible! There is a lot of fanart on Tumblr for ZaSr.

ZiM x Tak or ZaTr, if enemies to lovers is your thing, then this ship is also possible. They can have the same rivalry-like relationship like ZaDr and many fanfics on this ship are more on the serious side. This ship has a hostile in canon of course but for some, this just adds ammunition to the shipping fire. Fanfics where they actually band together to fight against the Irken Empire’s plans of universal domination are common themes.

ZiM x GIR, this is crack. Just pure crack. But ZiM did promise the moon to GIR. I can’t verify the morality of this ship because I don’t even know how to classify this. It also has cute fanart. Could be treated seriously (not necessarily romantically, just relationship-wise) in angst-like scenarios (i.e. ZiM failing horribly in conquering Earth or GIR’s SIR programming acting up revealing that GIR hated being subservient to ZiM).

ZiM x Prisoner 777. THIS IS KIND OF LIKE REALLY NOT COMMON. tbh I stopped shipping it when it turned out that ZiM legit kidnapped his kids but!!! it had potential! It offered a glimpse into ZiM’s life before coming to Earth and his past as an Irken Scientist (where headcanons like him working with 777 happen). I believe there is some fanart on deviantart but even that was rare.

******CONTROVERSIAL OPINION INCOMING******

(There is another ship I won’t mention since it is controversial and I personally don’t care much for it but I won’t begrudge anyone for shipping it because everyone can develop their own headcanons and create content on their likes and as long as things are shared/tagged properly so people who dislike it can’t stumble upon it accidentally. There is absolutely no need for excessive fandom policing and negativity. Exposing yourself to things you absolutely hate so you can rant about it (or do any sort of action against it) is your own choice but on the other hand you could try to not let it bother you too much and stay in areas where you can participate in the positive sides of fandom. BUT excessive defense of something (ship or character) considered “bad” by portions of a fandom is not effective either imo, cuz you can argue until you’re nearing suffocation and it still won’t decrease the negativity, so stick in your own lane too. We don’t know the persons behind the screens and that includes factors such as cultural background, age, personal history etc and we shouldn’t have (of course this matter is a lot more complex than a post about Invader Zim ships could explain))

******END OF CONTROVERSIAL OPINION******

SO YEAH, HERE ARE SOME INVADER ZIM SHIPS INVOLVING ZIM.

[yeoldontknow]

an update and some food for thought

hi friends. this will be the only time i will address the things that have gone on the last 24 hours on this blog. i do not, under any circumstances, enjoy drama or attempt to invite it to this space. my blog is meant to be a place of positivity, creativity, expression, safety, and conversation. it is not a place where i welcome negativity or harassment, and i certainly dont like having my friends or followers feel put in a position to defend me. im aware i did not ask them to, but who i am as a person doesnt actually like being the center of this kind of attention. and that is why i am saying the following once, and only once so that this conversation can stop.

i am putting my thoughts under a cut because i dont want to clog dashes.

balls deep, as with all my stories, was written from a place of fantasy. there is, quite honestly, nothing real about it. logistically, it makes no sense. hygienically, it makes no sense. but it is a fantasy of what if, an exaggeration of a very real kink i have. this is not to say i am unaware of the questionable morality of the setting, nor am i glossing over the very obvious problems of the location. and most of all, i absolutely do not condone the themes of that story. what i am saying, is that i walked into writing the story knowing that some would be uncomfortable with it. as with anything i write, i dont write to fulfill a large, broad group with perpetually safe topics. i write to experiment, i write to explore, and i write to learn. you can call this experimentation a failure, but i was very happy with it. i have never ever written anything like that before, and it is a stepping stone to other things i want to write. does this mean those types of settings will be used again? i cant really say. what i can say is that there are other, more morally ambiguous ideas i want to explore when it comes to sex, kinks, and emotions, and while i absolutely can see the perspective of the anons who voiced their concerns with me, i wanted the opportunity to voice my own.

this did not happen due to a number of anons that offered absolutely no constructive criticism or feedback. there were only three anons out of 27 that wanted to offer opinions about how this story made them feel, about how the structure or setting could have been different. the rest?  told me i deserved to die. that i was a pedophile. that i need to go to prison. that i deserved to be banned from tumblr and writing altogether. that i was a disgusting excuse for human being. that it was offensive id even suggest they read the story. but, i never ever expect everyone to read what i write. the story was properly warned and tagged and the moodboard is a visual of where the story heads. now, i dont ever want to say a person shouldnt read what i write. i love giving the benefit of the doubt, and i love learning how others with the same kinks as me feel about what i write. if they genuinely were into the warnings, and read and saw something that was inherently wrong, i was ready to talk about it. but i got none of that. instead, i was met with majority harassment and hate.

the anons i received that voiced concerns were exciting for me, and taught me a valuable lesson. i was able to see their reasoning behind some of the issues they had, and went back and edited some of the dialogue to mitigate the concerns. and even though the story was properly warned, moving forward i will be changing my warning methods. i am still deciding how this will look, how deep i will want to go, but im astutely aware of the very real triggers this may have roused in some readers, and i want to make sure - in the effort of maintaining this safe space - that those kinds of responses dont happen again with my readers, friends, or strangers. my intention with anything i write is to inspire, to encourage conversation or criticism, and to explore methods of self-expression - no matter how wrong or uncomfortable. hero, for example, contains incredibly triggering themes - chapters 7 and 13 spring immediately to mind. brooklyn is burning also contains some pretty irresponsible smut and triggering themes. and my upcoming work for joyride & finesse will also be extremely triggering. so the responses i did receive from respectful anons was considerate and helpful for me.

again, i want to make clear i am not glossing over the setting. if anything, the types of settings included in public sex kinks range from places like this to other, more open spaces. amusement parks. parks in general. fairs. ive even read a story that took place in a bouncy castle. kink, in many cases, intersects with fantasy - it is a kink because we want to try it or think about it, feel excitement from it, but are told we morally shouldnt and therefore it becomes regarded as a kink. the term kink itself contains a range of definitions, including sexual perversion, participation in uncommon sex acts, and non-traditional sex acts. that’s just scratching the surface. in order for me to grow as a writer its important i branch out and try things not everyone will enjoy or approve of - sometimes, things not even i would approve of. so i thank those anons for voicing their opinions - it was an excellent litmus test for the rest of my days on tumblr.

but for those who thought spouting hate and vitriol my way would be an effective way of telling me never to try something, i am sorry. i cannot let you win. ive said before the readership on my blog is important to me, and i am fully aware i have been called a role model or an inspiration to young writers. if they see someone like me, someone much older and confident in their skills, let someone harass them into silence, that is worse to me than upsetting a handful of people. so no, you did not win.

balls deep has been edited and will be posted again sometime this week, in its new form. anon asks will remain off. because if you want to voice your concerns, i want to speak with you and see you. i want a real conversation, not hate.

thank you all for your flood of warm, kind, and supportive messages. i really am thankful for the ambush of support that has stemmed from this. from now to eternity however, i am seeking mature conversations and helpful, considerate feedback. that is how you foster an open, expressive community. i love all of you to the moon and back.

[teamdoesminecraft]

Everything about the pokemon au is perfect... is there lore???

oh you know me of COURSE there’s lore

It’s all kind of tangled together and hard to explain right now, so this post is gonna be a little less narratively-written and a little more expository. but as always, shoutout to @crystalfloe​ for being my partner in crime in developing this!

Some of the Ninetales dex entries say that it “came into being when nine wizards merged into one.” Naturally, we took this and ran with it: you know how illusioners are a sort of “secret mob” in Minecraft that were never actually implemented? Hundreds of years ago, in this lore, nine illusioners (possibly the last of their kind) met together in secret to preserve themselves. After a lengthy process of spellcasting, all of them gave up their physical forms and agency to create a new, pokemon spellcaster: Seto. Seto is his own person, not a conglomerate of nine, and he never really feels that he’s not; sometimes, though, when he argues with himself, it feels like there’s nine voices in his head all with different opinions. Being based on a kitsune and also having access to magic and curses in this AU still, he can shapeshift/illusion himself into a nearly human form-- he can’t/won’t get rid of the tails though, ever.

In these hundreds of years ago, Seto did some travelling, and his illager background eventually brought him to a wooden mansion. He lived there for a while, learning new magic under an evoker, and developing a gradual distaste for most other “humans” because of everything negative the illagers had to say about it. One lone adventurer, though, as they always do, stumbled upon the mansion, and found their way inside. Many illagers were asleep at this point in the night, but Seto wasn’t; he was the one who “greeted” the intruder firsthand. Said intruder wasn’t the nicest person either; they lashed out and tried to grab Seto’s tail to hold him down in a fight.

More Ninetales dex entries will tell you that “grabbing one of its tails will result in a 1,000-year curse on you and your descendants.”

Said adventurer lived and died uneventfully after that, but their descendants bore the burden. Sneaking around at night, looking to steal from illagers, and digging their way through the frostbitten winter woods, the family line was cursed with Weavile aspects; the original adventurer was doomed to slowly become one, even losing their mind in the body. Their bloodline wasn’t quite as unfortunate, but became a version of werewolf; were-weaviles, technically. Looking at too much moonlight at any one time causes them to transform and be mentally “replaced” by a far more animalistic version of themselves.

That’s why SSundee wears his glasses; they block out any excess moonlight. Of course, on the full moon, he has no choice but to close every curtain, because at that point there’s just too much to avoid. SSundee lives a rather quiet life, running a pastry shop in a no-name village, keeping his transformations to a minimum. He somehow inherited the original map that led to the mansion in the first place; he keeps ahold of it just as a reminder to not go there, ever.

SSundee’s got a friend, though, who’s willing to do anything for easy money.

Husky took the map, and ignoring SSun’s protests as just standard-SSun-paranoia, went to find the mansion to dig up any potential treasure there. Once inside, he was pursued by illagers, and fell between the walls; in the darkness, he reached for what he thought was a rope. It wasn’t, of course, and Seto had a whole new curse to lay. Husky had never been a fan of rain, surfing, or even baths as much as showers; Seto thought it would be the funniest thing to ruin the experience for him even more. (do I really gotta specify what pokemon Husky is) Husky’s started down the path of slow transformation, with an extra wrench in the formula; if any part of him gets touched by water, that part takes on more kip-like traits until he dries it. He found out while using SSun’s shower, and blamed it on him like it was some sort of shitty prank; when SSun wasn’t open about what he thought happened, Husky threw the door open.

It was a full moon that night (because of course) and Husky was terrified for a short while (because of course), running as far as he could. SSun, before he lost it, was even more terrified, because as far as he knew Weavile were nothing but predators; he doesn’t know much about Weavile, though, and what he neglected to learn was that Weavile are pack bonders, and that he had already built up a strong friendship with Husky. In summary, Husky spent that night trying to avoid being force-fed dead sandshrew by this terrifying demonic weavile that was also still somehow the mom friend.

BACK TO SETO, he has 1 (one) friend who isn’t an illager: a fellow troublemaking fox. Lox is a lonesome zorua who somehow wormed his way into the mansion (because doesn’t everyone eventually) and learned how to control his illusions by watching Seto in secret. Lox uses these illusions, generally, to fuck with people; it doesn’t help that Seto finds it absolutely hilarious. Eventually, Lox learned to create his own individual human form to cast, and learned sign language; he set out on his own just to explore, planning to find more people to mess with. Lox eventually discovered a small cottage in the woods, and was ready to just completely ruin this person’s day by unveiling that Deep Pokemon Magic--

--but True was, unfortunately, already a pokemon fanatic.

Even disregarding Tepig and Zubat, True tends to a bazillion wild pokemon, all the time, constantly. He’s invested in learning everything he can (scientifically) about how they work, especially their ties back to humans. (True is, in this AU, the one person who would be 1000% on board with being part pokemon, and also the one person who never will be.) When Lox tried to mess with him by impersonating people, True immediately recognized him as a Zorua, and tugged him inside for interrogation. True was relentless in his efforts to understand, poring over books, tests, and learning sign language to communicate with Lox better. Lox eventually mentioned that he didn’t want to be pinned down to one location, and didn’t plan on living forever in True’s little house; True realized this, of course, and waved him off, saying Lox was free to go wherever he wanted. Once away, Lox realized that though he liked the outside, he had enjoyed his time with True almost just as much; now Lox looks for any excuse he has to come back, and pops in from time to time for no reason.

One big excuse to come back, of course, is discovering another human-pokemon anomaly; when Lox saw a man with golden horns quietly using telekinesis to steal a lunch in a market square, he intercepted him and led him all the way back to the cottage. Sky was, understandably, confused and a little distressed; eventually after True sat him down they were able to have an actual conversation.

Sky’s history is (surprise surprise) Mary-Sueish. He’s a shiny hoopa (the only hoopa, so technically nobody knows he’s shiny?), and in this world, all legendaries have the ability to form-shift between pokemon and human. He was created by two other legends-- Notch (Arceus) and Herobrine (Giratina) to assist in preserving/expanding/helping the world. They both act as sort of guides for him in this AU, with neither really being evil or omnipotent. After creating Sky, they realized that while he was powerful, he had no experience in the world; they set him in a mostly-human form and instructed him to travel the world, meeting new people, and understand how humans and pokemon interacted and got along. They also, via a certain amount of magic, prevented him from saying what he or his history was; they didn’t want anyone finding out about the legendary child and trying to kidnap/control him. One notable ability of Sky’s is wish-granting; Hoopa being based on a djinn, we had to give him the magical bullshit. He can only grant one a day, though, in total, and he has plenty of restrictions on them-- no time travel, changing things that already happened, etc, etc. 

While Sky couldn’t tell True any of his actual history, True has been helping him learn more about his abilities and is 100% willing to travel with him anywhere to learn more about him.

SPEAKING OF NOTCH ARCEUS did you know he had a bastard son?? And that son was Xephos? YEAH THATS RIGHT TC/YOGS CROSSOVER AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT

Respawning doesn’t exist in this AU, so the yoglabs complex serves a real purpose via the cloning machines. Xephos doesn’t actually know he has any Arceus genes in him; they’re locked away and not apparent at all. That’s not why we’re looking at yoglabs right now, though: we’re here for Bajan.

Backtracking once again, Bajan grew up in a relatively decent-sized village, watching Wizard of Oz (Poke-Oz?) and absolutely loving the Infernape character. When he was about eight, his village was raided by pillagers; he had to run, as fast and as far as he could. Eventually he stumbled into the mountains, and up to Xephos and Honeydew, who were conducting a relatively boring test compared to normal, and YES i’m saying that Bajan’s gay dads are from the yogscast, nothing matters anymore

Bajan was adopted into the compound and was a very curious and energetic child. So curious and energetic, in fact, that he stole a transformation talisman and used it without calibrating it first; he passed out and was given two weeks to live, with his human DNA in constant conflict with the over-abundance of non-specified Pokemon DNA. Not wanting to support child murder, Xephos developed a particular method that he severely hoped would prevent Bajan from dying; he had Bajan pulled out of his safety-fluid-tank for a few hours so he and Dew could talk to him. They explained the procedure and asked if he had any requests-- Bajan still loved Infernape, so that was the first thing out of his mouth.

In the experiment, of course, they had to use Chimchar DNA to more closely match Bajan’s youth, but the procedure worked; he was given a very specifically calculated transformation talisman to wear to prevent him from becoming unstable again. (He was a little miffed that he had been given the “baby” form, but hey, what could you do.) Bajan lived for the next few years as a poke-human hybrid in the labs, generally being a good, if destructive, kid, practicing his firey abilities. On his birthday, he committed a small act of mischief; he lied to Dew and was able to go outside the labs for the first time since he got there.

Bajan fucken loved the outdoors, because who wouldn’t, and went running around way past his curfew before he got lost. While lost, he stumbled upon an absol-- Jerome had been on the run for as long as he could remember, because of the human superstition of absols causing natural disasters. After enough poking and prodding, Jerome eventually agreed to lead Bajan back to the vault door; on the way back, he locked up and refused to move. Bajan followed his gaze and realized that Jerome had sensed an avalanche before it could even begin-- there was no way they were going to outrun it. Bajan positioned himself between the oncoming snow and his new friend, and put every effort he could think of into spitting out the most powerful flamethrower he ever would--

--and he evolved. Bajan had never realized he could evolve before, and spent the next five minutes in complete and utter glee before yanking Jerome back to the labs to show off his new form and his new friend. The yogs weren’t as excited as he was to bring an absol into a place prone to nuclear disaster; he was grounded for lying, staying out past curfew, and the aforementioned absol-napping; Xephos took a mild amount of pity on Jerome, though, and agreed to test whether or not he was actually the cause of natural disasters. Eventually, when nothing really proved that he was, Jerome was allowed to talk to Bajan again-- at which point Jerome asked Bajan to translate his request to the yogs. 

Jerome had lived his life being unable to enter human society, even as a pet, because of the superstition around absol; seeing Bajan, a healthy and happy human-pokemon hybrid, had give him an idea. As Bajan translated, Jerome himself wanted to be a hybrid, so he could talk and interact with people. Xephos, though skeptical, was never one to turn down a scientific opportunity, and eventually was able to complete the procedure. Armed with a new half-human friend, a newly evolved form, and an advanced understanding of maturity, Bajan approached both Xephos and Dew one night with a request: he wanted to go outside the labs, with Jerome, and explore the world on his own to participate in battles. Eventually, they conceded; Bajan was abso-fucking-lutely ecstatic, and so was Jerome, to be travelling with someone for the first time ever. They currently roam the world as a duo, picking fights and having fun.

The entire team will eventually meet up, either through Sky’s wish-granting, Bajan and Jerome’s roaming, or Lox’s people-hunting; maybe a combination of all three. From then on they can travel the world together, working hand-in-hand to discover new things about each other and help one another as some of the only of their kind in this world.

Xephos, however, still sits in the labs, working on understanding pokemon in a much less communication-based way than True. Every time he re-clones himself, some piece gets lost, sending his mind into a darker spiral... it’s only a matter of time before he discovers his locked Arceus genes, and uses them in a way he definitely never should have.

[gg-astrology]

Helloooo :) I don't know if it is too late but, what do you think of cap sun taurus moon? :o

HAH WE HAVE THE SAME PLACEMENTS!!!! 💕 ITS CALL OUT TIME!! 💕💕

(and no ure not too late don’t worry 💕 thank u for dropping by anyways!!)

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon 🍃]

We’re a lot more earthier than our usual earthy counterparts, like if anything if we’re not surrounded by atleast 5 trees we Will Die

It gets especially hard living in an urban city because….we might not be accessible to parks all the time.

Although we might like leafy greens and fauna, some of us may have a hard time motivating ourselves to keeping them alive/grow our own garden even when we like the ~aesthetic~

Second most self-praise thing is our voice. With the combination of Capricorn/Taurus you might realize that we tend to have influential voices when speaking to others (others see reasons/listens to us– can be kind of like the ‘therapist’ in groups of friends because they tend to give solid advice and tries to make it practical for others)

It’s a persuasive ability, where we give other people nudges towards the right direction usually through a socratic dialogue (like asking them questions and letting them find the answer themselves)

Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, we appeal to the emphathy/putting ourselves in other people’s shoes (social relationships) to show others how to view things differently

There’a terrible stubborn streak amongst us, where we feel like we constantly need time to ‘digest’ experiences in order to utilize them fully.

Our time works differently than others, 2 days weekend isn’t enough to do that. And once things start picking up we switch gears from ‘oh no I don’t have time to absorb’ into ‘fuck I gotta find my pattern’ in order to survive

Always in survival mode, the bare minimum. Keep a straight-focused outlook on things so we could concentrate on it instead (while in the moment)

Switches between moments of independency (and cherishing it) and wanting support/to be surrounded by others and help them (in the domestic life/sphere).

If your bed and your room is your friend. This is your ‘safe space’ and you can never work here. You’ll have delegated ‘spaces’ for working/productivity. Thus it becomes a conditioned ‘motive/pattern’ you set for yourself.

You can try to be soft an gentle, but you will Realize that you are a very straight-forward and blunt person. We all look constipated when we try to phrase something in a different way, often we don’t come up with a gentler phrase so we just– drag it out, cautiously to see if the other person is receptive to it or not.

Surprisingly we say ‘sorry’ quite often bc we Know other people might put it gentler than us but we don’t know how to Do It

AH most important thing— quiet doesn’t mean shy. Although we can tend to be shy early on in our childhood (*if it comes to that). Quiet is just comfortable, like ‘I don’t have to say stuff if I don’t have anything to say’ when you’re comfortable with urself/ur company y know

Most people might think we’re being ‘unnaturally quiet’ if you have an active Mercury/Venus that says otherwise— but there are moments where you’re just— chilling, and people are concerned even when you’re just ‘absorbing’ the view

When you’re stress, it shows. When you’re really anxiety ridden and nervous, others can tell it in your oppressive silence. Your face blanks out, and that normally doesn’t happen. Your eyes vacant, and your close friend can pick that up pretty quickly.

Although you like to touch and be touched, you can also be demanding about it. Like ‘pet my hair’ ‘squeeze me tight’ or something specific like ‘hold onto my rib-cage/sides’ — it’s weird I know. But it’s like, if you want something you ask for it or you go get it. 

Emotions are— hard. Because you tend to hide your own pains/bury them a lot. You’re not even aware that you feel more than what you feel in the moment. Capricorn suppresses and Taurus redirects. So you’re not even sure where your emotions go when in hiding.

Sometimes you can be in the shower and think ‘have i ever felt jealous?? envious of people???’ and it takes a little more time and retrospection to get familiar with emotions

Accepting ‘negative’ emotions and ‘ugly’ behaviors in yourself is extremely hard to do. This is because you pride yourself in being ‘kind’ to others. Thus you may be much stricter on yourself than you are with anyone else.

Doesn’t mean you don’t get strict with the people around you, you do. Especially when they’re doing detrimental things to themselves. You’re much better at dealing with them than your own problems though.

Sometimes your retrospection eats away at your thoughts at night, things to do, functions to execute, where are you now? What have you done? Are you going to be happy in say 5 years? What do you have for your ambitions?

You can be protective of people around you, especially after you see them cry or in pain. Your protective instinct kicks in really strongly, and you may have trouble letting them have autonomy without atleast giving them a hard look and saying shit like ‘ok, if that’s what you think/makes you happy’. 

With your best friends, you may used to have the idea that they’re yours. 

Your best friends. Your people. Especially in early childhood, having to ‘open yourself up’ and your friendship up to accepting new people throws you into an internal tantrum.

Still now, you might find that you better with one-on-one approaches to ‘getting close/to know people’ than large group settings. If you’re truly going to have a personal opinion on someone, you have to see them outside the context of a barrier– your mutual friends.

Your own chemistry with other people (one-on-one) matters a lot, because it lets you know how you’re doing. Who you are, what your flaws are and whether you have a different ‘side’ to you that comes out when you’re with them as well.

The thing about you is– you’re inherently honest. To the point where you can’t hide it or stifle it, even if you try your body/mind will scream at you for even attempting to do so. You’re a slave to your own honesty, but it’s also your advantage and your disadvantage.

You have immense capabilities to be understanding to others, and to help others who trust you because of this honesty. 

And because you hold yourself valuable for your integrity to people (heart-to-heart, one-on-one) you don’t ever let yourself consciously try to bring them down or let them have a reason to doubt you otherwise.

Even thinking about how people could misinterpret your actions as something with ulterior motive (threaten to discredit your integrity) you take pre-cautions to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone understands where it’s coming from.

You don’t leave a stone unturned when you do something, you want to do your best but that also requires preparation works. Ground works, for you to focus on just diving into it later. You don’t deter from it at all, and meticulously prepare the ‘grounds’ for yourself every time.

Your humbleness comes from your core. But since you’re so focused on working/preparing and your side of the story all the time. You have a harder time ‘switching’ gears to being on the receiving end of things.

You’d have learnt earlier on in your life that you can usually have an ‘automated’ response to things/circumstances that requires responses. But you don’t ever want to appear insincere or disingenuine so you try your best to put yourself 100% in giving people sincerity at all times.

You’ll learn– that this tends to wear you out. And you require time away from people in your own space. You might like to bury yourself under 10 blankets, give yourself a good scrub in the bathroom or get tucked away in a corner doing your own thing. Personal comfort is rejuvenating to you, but you can let it get too far and make a bad habit of not going out because of it too.

You’re a homebody but you may pride yourself in the opposite. You bring attention and light to when you go out, what you did with people, what you saw today. Watch that you aren’t doing this to subconsciously ‘persuade’ yourself that you deserve to relax at home because you’ve ‘earned it’ (going out becomes an ‘achievement’, which in itself isn’t terrible but you tend to let yourself get comfortable/have a pattern that may be harder to break out of– and that generally leads to a sense of dread for you later on when you want to ‘switch gears’ to something else)

You’re a creature of habit, so try to make a journal or ‘check list’ for things whenever it appears (like ‘you have a meeting at 3pm, this has to get done by thursday, do groceries on this specific day because otherwise you won’t have time – use it like you have a secretary). 

Whenever you need to check, you have the journal to remind you of ‘obligations’ you have to work through.

If you don’t, you can let your days get past you or forget about things you have to do.   

Grocery shopping, especially when you have time to journey alone (and not talk to anyone)– is less of a chore and more like a place where you can enjoy self-care without feeling unproductive about yourself.

If you ever feel like you’re having a bad day, go grocery shopping. Splurge on some meats and make yourself a steak. If you’re a vegetarian, try looking for new things to try in these moment of vulnerabilities.

Also, don’t be afraid to buy dolls. Especially the big ones that are like 9′ tall and towers over you. You’re going to enjoy having a new seating space for yourself. Lie on it’s stomach, play on your laptop. 

You’ll do better with a cuddle buddy who doesn’t have their own needs (inanimate) when your partner/friends are less free to spend time with you. 

Don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, if you want someone to kiss your checks. Ask to kiss theirs. Show them– through demonstration and response – how to physically care for you the way you might want/need it to.

You can be disgustingly cute with people even when you’re not in a romantic relationship with them, mostly because you think everyone deserves to feel loved even without it being romantic. Everyone deserves to feel cared for, adored and not less than a romantic partner.

There’s no shame in craving intimacy, from friends or from lovers. You know it’s different because your ‘shades’ with romantic partners are a lot more intense/directed. But that doesn’t mean you put your love for your friends second to your lovers.

Let yourself get giggly and bubbly, feel loved and adored. Let yourself open up about past experiences, situations you need help with. Let yourself admit to your friends/people around you how you feel, so that they can support you when you can’t support yourself.

That’s all I have for now 💕 This one is quite long mostly because I was thinking about it too much 💕 I hope it’s applicable to you ;; 💕💕    

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO

[starco-conut]

Our Thoughts on Season 3

Hey everyone!! as you may have seen...Alan and I have been just a bit let down by some of the stuff going on. Luckily, we’re both huge ass nerds so we wrote it all out in a multi-paragraph post. With visual aids! if you’ve been feeling a little offput by the new episodes but can’t place why, we probably have your reason put into words somewhere in here. 

Reviews, replies, general additions to this post are not only permitted, but strongly encouraged!! :D

bold is nicole. italics is alan

Scent of a hoodie

I mean. one word summary;... Uncomfortable. it was rough to watch my girl obsess like that and honestly??? there was no clear message at the end... with the whole ‘the scent is in ur heart....’ do they mean to imply she’s getting over marco or that he’s always gonna be around in her mind??????????. yeh. not much to say here.

this episode was kind of strange and felt really awkward with star’s obsession with marco but had a sweet ending with star learning that its really unhealthy for her to latch onto marco like this and its time to move on. it felt like one of those iffy episodes throughout most of it but the end was decent enough

Rest in Pudding

Her little monologue to glossaryk was super cute and well done!! that whole bit was just. Good! felt like Old Times! but then there’s

This was... a gag? I dont know. when i saw it first my gut reaction was that they were setting up some angst about how star’s calling people on earth that aren’t her best friend Marco and THAT got me!! i was Ready To Be Hurt by that! but then like...nothing. Unless it comes up in a nearing episode this was just a bad joke. overall episode wasn’t bad at all though!!

i really enjoyed this episode! the pacing, mystery, and comedy all held up to the Star standard and only had a small amount of plot progression which felt appropriate for a halloween episode. my only gripe is that after the whole Battle For Mewni deal, i expected Moon to believe Star a bit more when she says Glossaryck is alive

oh yeah that too for sure

Club Snubbed

pretty much made me want to die and barf simultaneously. when it got to the scene above, where she talked about just needing a friend i thought, hey, thats cool. and accurate. maybe that dance scene clip, since its unfortunately not a flashback, is going to be presented as platonic!

nope. anyone in for a suicide pact?

To be fair, i should elaborate. Tomstar, in theory, is super cool. I definitely vibed with the fire and butterfly magic mix happening, back when I thought it was a flashback. But...Its been, what, 5, maybe 6 episodes since marco left and she’s already just...whoop? who’s marco? haha what? There’s not enough time. 

And from what I can tell, none of their old issues have been addressed. Tom still has anger issues, but because ‘its hard’ and he’s ‘trying’ suddenly star’s all over him? sleazy ppl come to their exes like ‘i’ve changed!!’ for a reason. the ex should actually. want. to see. change. Star seems content to say ‘fuckall, tom’s here, why not’

WHICH..could actually be good? If it’s presented that way? My hope is that she’s latching on to Tom because they have history, and a bond already. Marco’s gone suddenly, she’s urging for somewhere to direct her affection- lord knows the sweet girl has lots to give. and then they’ll part as friends after she realizes whatever they are now is unhealthy and ingenuine romantically. I have no backing for this and honestly it doesn’t look like that’s the way they’re going but... I’m gonna hope.

this episode definitely throws a spin on our view of tom as an “uncaring, lying, manipulative ex boyfriend” and for the first time i felt like i really saw Tom Lucitor, a boy with anger issues and an unfortunate history with his actions. i was really glad to see this character growth for him but i feel like the writers completely skipped over the real impacts that a relationship like tom and star’s had on each other. 

yes!! i didn’t say but, i kinda love tom as an independent character. his anger issues are presented as a part of his personality, he is a guy who has anger issues, not Anger Issues in a physical form. lots of cool depth on that.

realistically, star would not immediately fall back in love with tom because...why would she? we as the viewers know that Tom has changed but to Star? he has a significant history of lying to manipulate her and marco to get closer to them and star doesn’t have a real reason to believe what he’s saying is true and she shouldn’t have 100% faith in him so quickly especially when she had 0 trust in him just a few minutes prior. overall i was impressed with the development for tom but the future implications were disappointing to me

i will be talking more about my issues with Star and her trust issues later.

Stranger Danger

My only issue with this episode is that it doesn't exist outside of its own ten minutes. I literally forgot about it til i looked up an episode list of s3 to write this post. Eclipsa is sitting there, queen of darkness, in the same castle grounds as star, and shes nor the trial is brought up in the subsequent episodes. Alan goes wild on this one so I’ll let him take it away- he’s 100% on point here.

THIS IS A LONG ONE BOYS, STRAP IN,

i agree with nicole here, there is no buildup to the immense revelation that eclipsa is free and roaming the castle gardens. battle for mewni had planted the seed that eclipsa was breaking out but there was no mention of this in any other episode. and then there’s this:

what was this all about?? did no one notice that Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness, one of the most powerful queens and magic users in Mewni’s history, and a wanted criminal, was FREE FROM THE CRYSTAL THEY FROZE HER IN?? And in BFM, Moon even visits Eclipsa’s crystal prison to check if she’s still there but now? she didnt seem worried about it AT ALL. only when Star is peacefully talking to her does Moon and the magic high comission show up because...plot reasons.

aside from that, however, i feel like the pacing in this episode was not planned very well. from the opening scene of Star taking care of Glossaryck for well over 4 minutes, it felt like this was going to be a fun silly episode with general shenanigans (there’s nothing wrong with silly episodes, it just didn’t end up being one). but halfway through the episode, eclipsa shows up and suddenly the plot is moving at a rapid pace. and while this felt like it should have been the climax of the 11-minutes, the climax just continues? there is no falling action in this episode. it continues with star being decontaminated and at one point she is strapped to an examining table and flashes through some disturbing faces

why is she smiling? who drew this? this feels really creepy, like someone is putting their kinks into the show and its really uncomfortable to watch and think about. there is a heart touching moment with Moon and Star talking about their actions and both side have somewhat understandable reasons, though star clearly has the show’s bias so the plot progresses (which is not necessarily a bad thing). afterwards, Star meets Eclipsa in her cell and still, the climax of the episode has not fallen at all with all the arguing. and then finally when star confronts eclipsa in her tower, she says,

“Just because i didn’t want you crystalized again, doesn’t mean i trust you.”

????

She literally has no past with eclipsa other than having a pleasant conversation with her. She knows next to nothing about her actual actions or personality but immediately doesn’t trust her? but in Club Snubbed she immediately trusts tom? the guy who directly had severe negative impacts on her life?? Why?! Why are the writers so inconsistent? nothing makes sense! It’s cheap, forced romance that’s why!

and after this ridiculously long climax the episode just ENDS. there is no resolution, and it doesn’t touch on it again anywhere in the next four episodes. It’s bad show writing.

Demoncism

I picked this screenshot because it was the most disgusting!!! this is just...more of an opinion here but I really like the trope where one is out of their mind, dangerous, causing magic destruction and the other defies the risk and holds them, curing the issue with The Power Of Love. it’s corny but I love it. and yet.

here. they decided to just. chuck it in. I’ve seen shows do this trope Very Very well (oddly, one example i can think of also involves a wild demon kid and a forest in blue fire.....) but to just...throw this in there. with. like 8 seconds of buildup. n-o. no. ESPECIALLY because tom and star, where they are currently in the show, aren’t ready to be romantic, and this trope always has romantic implications.

i got extremely mixed feelings from this episode. on one hand it had a great message that you shouldn’t force change but rather to grow naturally and learn from your mistakes. on the other hand,  a lot of it is still tainted by this cliche, boring, romance. Star immediately barges in and claims that he’s only doing this for her and generally is untrusting of his actions. 

......

are you noticing a common theme here? writers purposefully twisting characters’ interactions for the sole purpose of causing drama? give me one good reason for star’s sense of trust to be flip-flopping like this over and over again. im being serious, if you even read this far, leave a reply and call me out because i CAN NOT THINK OF ONE GOOD REASON.

“Okayy, but no tickling.” Again, more creepy bdsm, moving on.

Then later when hes doing that whole floaty, blue veined, writhing scene i will actually commend the writers for making a very good analogy of how painful and unhealthy this process is for tom to quickly force himself to change. then star comes back and hugs him and says shes here for him which would have actually been a very sweet moment if they had just been friends but of course, they’re not. its just a reminder that “uwu they’re in love now”. and then there’s this:

confirmation that yes, the show is going to do that. rush star and tom’s relationship bc #teendrama. and the worst part of it is: star and tom could actually have been an acceptable, if not role model relationship if it wasn’t written so poorly, which is what the next paragraph or so is dedicated to.

I don’t hate Tom and Star’s relationship. I don’t. i see it as a missed opportunity. Tom and Star were two people who used to be a couple in the past and broke up for reasons unknown. we can speculate that it was because of Tom’s anger issues and problems with lying, and also Star’s inability to deal with complex situations and face her problems. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY COMMON REAL LIFE SITUATION. This was a ripe opportunity to go in-depth with Star and Tom’s issues, not just their own but also the issues between them. and it is wasted. I know that its hard to fit this into one measly episode but there’s a whole half season to develop them at a proper, realistic pace! i wouldn’t care if the entire season is dedicated to Star and Tom working to solve these issues if it meant we had this enormously important topic resolved in a healthy and wholesome manner. 

But the problem is, none of this happens. And it’s not going to. The writers completely skip over all of Tom and Star’s anger towards each other and go straight to “UWU THEYRE IN LOVE NOW”. Star is just rebounding off Marco and onto Tom and there’s going to be more unnecessary drama, and someone’s going to get hurt.

And I am disgusted.

Sophomore Slump

jarco saved this ep ? the only parts of it i could really relax and enjoy was the little jarco montage it was cute. and then. and THEN. the random dumping. I get what the writers were trying to say, y’know? ohohohoh, nudge nudge, we all know who marcos REAL best friend is...hohoho...except. they shouldnt have. said it. at least not via jackie. She was used in this disgustingly common way where she’s just there to deliver a message and help marco realize something. do y’all realize the most drastic adjective i can apply to her realizing she+marco wont work is like....”bummed”. It’s realistic to cry, to be fucking mad, to show...FEELING...i don’t care how cool and chill she is. It’s an absolute travesty to her to not let her be upset about it. 

AND THE CAPE. it was obnoxious, I hated his attitude about it, not because it was annoying but because he expected others to stop ‘acting weird’. I had hope when jackie knocked sense into him but then he...was then REWARDED for his obsession with it? He ended up getting what he wanted, a ticket back to Mewni, by being a stubborn arse about it. no.

god where do i begin. alright.

Marco was so out of character this episode. im not talking like “he isnt the safe kid anymore he takes some uncharacteristic risks”. no. I don’t know who this kid is but it is not Marco Diaz. He’s some plot device created by the writers to create drama. Why is he so obsessed with his cape? Why is he forcing his experience on mewni into every conversation? Why. Is he. The Croissant Girl. The dude spent over sixteen YEARS in other dimensions going on quests of epic scale and comes back home without a single issue readjusting. Not one word. but then he spends one week in the butterfly castle and serves essentially no purpose the entire time other than freeing Star from her chains one time. He was completely and utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of the BFM movie. and then he comes back to earth and feels this great pride as if he was some great part of the event. Why? what does he have to be proud of? there was no mention of this development in any of the earlier episodes. and i havent even mentioned the ridiculous forced breakup yet.

at some point it seems like Jackie’s words really do come through to Marco. He snaps out of his daze and seems to genuinely want to make it up to her. the scene with Marco and Jackie having a fun date at the pier was incredibly sweet and was generally a good experience. We got to see more of Jackie’s fun side that we were desperately searching for in season 1 and the first half of season 2. it was very satisfying to know that jackie was a character everyone would eventually come to love. but then

that. Why? Why has Marco not moved on at all and learned his mistakes? why does he not understand that he’s being destructive. why do the writers like creating unnecessary drama. you know what show had a very similar plot issue and resolved this properly??

That’s right! Everybody’s favorite racist, ableist, offensive, generally unfunny show: The Big Bang Theory. I don’t even remember this dude’s name but when he came back from space and was being annoying, his girlfriend talked to him and he realized that “WOW IM ANNOYING LET ME THINK ABOUT OTHER’S FEELINGS FOR ONCE.”

100%. if they had stopped with the callout via jackie, and he had actually taken off the cape, I would have been fine. lesson learned. but, obviously, they didnt do that.

 If this show (which has an incredible track record for doing crappy show writing) can get it right then why can’t Star vs the Forces of Evil? A show that is usually praised for it’s amazing talent for intelligent, easy to understand, and great moral messaging?

Because of the writers. They don’t want to teach important messages for these kids (the target audience may i remind you) to latch on to and learn from. They want to write their angsty fanfiction and throw it into canon.

Nicole-TL;DR my lasting hope is star’s affections for tom are, and are revealed as such, a way to cope with going cold-turkey on marco and things resolve without a stupid fucking love triangle also jackie and janna start  dating. aaand im just. disappointed with the show rn. something’s different and after shoving this amazing ass show in everyones face for so long just to see it kind of...well, it’s starting to peel. idk why. but im just hoping this is like...banagic incident but...several episodes long.

Alan-TL;DR 

[ofcosima]

✗ ┈ oh my gosh, no way that DUA LIPA just walked passed us ! what ? no, that was definitely SORCHA KRAVITZ.  you know, the NINETEEN year old SENIOR at MBHS. SHE has the rep as being the ACTIVIST and it makes a lot of sense. anyone who is FERVID & ALLOCENTRIC, but also TURBULENT & FICKLE deserves that title. for senior superlatives they won MOST LIKELY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and captioned the song LINK IN BIO - DIET CIG under their yearbook photo. hopefully their dreams to TRAVEL THE WORLD come true after graduation and it’s a good last year in MOON BAY !

hi henlo world !! i’m so fuckin’ pumped to be here ?? kisses & hugs to our lovely admin for bein the goat !! okay so,,, i’m actually not here ?? 1 pm est, and im probably working on my introduction to drama final on monday,, but anyway ! i’ll be here in 1 hour or so,, and smother y’all with my dms ok ? lets move to my precious baby,  sorcha !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright !! i’m gonna try to keep this short,, but i can feel the word vomit,, its so close... u all gonna choke im sorry thats disgusting anyway lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ staying tru to leo baby dua’s origins, kravitz family moved from kosovo to moonbay when sorcha was five. she’s part kosovan, british and irish !! thing about the kravitz’s that they were so typical. like...,, mom quitting work to raise sorcha, dad @ work from 9 am to 5 pm. everything was simple. a smol house, a few toys to play with,, a wii as a new years present ?? honestly , sorcha never minded the apparent differences of income between her peers & her ! she loved how,, real it felt? they had game nights on every thursday, and movie nights on monday to blow off some steam ! she didn’t even hear one single argument ,, except when mom became too invested in monopoly & accused dad of stealing from the bank, like,  each time they played lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ they never talked much about dad’s work, or what mom did before they left kosovo. the past was a locked box,, and sorcha didn’t mind it ?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ growing up, she was a hard one to contain. she would throw awful, awful tantrums,, but then feel extremely sorry ?? like she would be this terrible kid, then cry for ten hours straight in her bed because she made people upset. she would leave smol notes on moms bed,, like never actually apologising, but always showing how much she felt bad ?? a real tempest tbh. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ had the potential to be the best, but never tried ?? mom ( rina ) ‘s attempts on pushing her to be more competitive always fell short,, sorcha saying she didn’t want her friends to feel bad for losing ?? wtf you lil puppy ?? 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ she was ( still is, but now on different topics ) extremely vocal ?? like to the age of ten,, if she didn’t like something......,, you would know that. if she had a crush on you,, you would know,, because she would tell exactly that ? teacher being a nasty prick ? ? sorcha, ,, thrownin hands,, directly discussin’ the matter like she was a fucking thirty year old lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ around fourteen, mom started workin again, along side papa !! tbh sorcha lo v e d havin the house to herself, because now both mom & dad were working late ,, the rebellious side had no one to restrict her,, yasss bish. she usually spent nights watching criminal minds , law & order : svu , ncis ,, or talking to strangers on platforms like tumblr & twitter. she thinks she grew up mentally a lot during this time, because she got to hear stories of ppl she doesn’t even really know ?? and she got v invested too. a caring babe. always focused on others,, she would occasionally have her friends over , and attend every party moonbay offered. ya gurl lo v e s parties ok

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so fifteen was hella differen t ?? mainly because.....,, they moved to a huge ass mansion, ,closer to the beach. everything felt so freaking surreal ?? kravitz’s hired a help for the house, got a brand new car for sorcha,, basically made $$$ rain down on her. hella suspicious. so she started to get v passive aggressive toward mom mama and papa ?? snarky comments here and there,, refusing to participate in family activities,, heading out when dad strictly forbids her ?? a tru rebel with a halfass cause.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ this whole emo™ phase gave birth to her label, the activist !! like i mentioned,, she never had any trouble with expressing her opinions,, playin the devils advocate,, this time,,, she gradually started to take it more seriously ?? like as she became less and less interested in mom and dads secret money fountain,, sorcha found herself in problems bigger than her own !! only obstacle was,,, again,, herself

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ her fickle nature never allowed herself to be stay tru 2 one cause, , always finding something brand new to fight for. she had so much on her mind 100 % of the time, and she didn’t know how to silence the voices ?? often failing to express her intense feelings,,  her turbulent side created chaos ,, being sent to the principles office more than twice,, thus she started playing football to channel her inner rage but ooppss, it doesnt work lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so eighteen,, and she basically accidentally discovered the secret ?? turns out mom & dad used to work for a corrupt ceo back in hometown, and now doing something similar to money laundering for him. ngl this was the last straw for her. like. she is trying to be a decent human being,, make a change? ? run for presidency ?? save the whales ?? smash the patriarchy  ?? and this is her family ? ?this is why she has a chanel bag ? ? u gotta be kidding me

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ SO. i wanna add that she has never had a boy / girl friend, my bi bunny is too invested in the negativity that she just... never tried ?? like,, she is pretty, and she knows she is,, but no one made a move on her. probably because she was super committed in being everyones friend ?? you have a problem ?? come 2 sorcha,, she gonna be the shoulder u can cry on. she has a problem ?? gonna avoid it until it snowballs,,, on relationships shes like whatevers dude im c hill™ and is actually content with it because means she won’t face rejection or betrayal ever :)) but lowkey not content but no one will know bc i lov bottling up !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ kinda life of the party ?? but also studious? ? she knows she needs good grades to make her dreams come tru, but also cant bite her freakin tongue and stop from gettin in trouble. stfu sorcha. i need her partner in crime,, because this ho is always,, in t r o u ble

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ daddy raised no bitch :) a fuqing tough cookie :)) if u mess with her friends,, you gonna catch these hands,, real hard

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ooks like she has everything under control,, in reality,, heres a list of them :

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ actually, , ,people may think she doesn’t care at all ? ?except for like,, feminism,, animals,,  , like she has it so good that she doesnt even need to try anymore lmfao no..... baby is a ball of anxiety ,,, died a lil when people chose her for “most likely to take over the world” ,, like... ,, pls dont

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ anyway. she is planning on taking a gap year after graduation because honestly,, she needs a break ok.

[gksunflowers-blog]

signs as people I know (check moon and sun signs)

aries: passionate about finding new ways to show love and create love with others, willing to put themselves down so others feel better, warm hugs, prefers music without words because they understand the message better without words telling them, will drive you to IHOP at midnight because you forgot to eat dinner, they care about literally fucking everyone, easily accept that change is unavoidable, their exuberant energy can seem very intimidating, outgoing, try to do the right thing, excessive with literally everything (its okay ily), ardent, hate waiting for shit to happen, want the quickest and easiest way out of everything, their passion can be destructive and actually detrimental.

taurus: art is abundant in their safe place, trying their best tbh, will put aside time that they need in order to help someone else, dislikes close minded people, sleeping prolly, has music too loud but they will tell you its not loud enough, thinks a shit ton about wether or not people like them but will never tell you that, actually very confident people, dont really care about what people think of them but also cares a shit ton about what people think of them, so fucking loyal and expect nothing in return, can complain a lot actually, loyaloyaloyal, hate it when others see them cry, tries to ignore their problems because they dont have enough time to deal with them (get it together, hoes), need more time for self-reflection

gemini: can make anyone easily laugh, knows whats in and whats out, veryyyy generous people, pretty smiles, has good music taste because they listen to all types of music, relatable, seems very unattached to reality at times, doesn;t give up something/someone if they really love them, will cook for you willingly, they are too cool for drama but typically start drama, will spend their whole night talking to you about future goals they have and the most random shit, life of the party, if you want to instantly laugh hang around a gemini, don;t consider other people in their decisions sometimes, will remove themselves of negative situations because there is nothing they hate more than negative people;

cancer: hold a very warm and gentle soul, can push people away because they tend to be very possessive but that is how they show love, they need a two year break, tries really hard to be relatable, let people walk over them without realizing, they love to pamper themselves to show love to themselves, you feel safe in their home, trusts people really easily, can get very broken and in a bad place if you betray them so please don;t honestly, when they;re angry it can show physically (red face, angry tears, etc), can be very dramatic, try to help others with confidence and self-esteem, will be there for you even if you arent there for them, oblivious to shitty people sometimes which results in trust issues;

leo: can be independent when they are comfortable in the situation, want the best for everyone, will defend you when you’re not there, will block you if you annoy them, just want someone to chill with, flirty!!!!, easily get excited over the smallesttttt things, knows when to change the subject, beautiful souls, these are the type of people you should go to last minute plans with (concerts, road trips, etc), just wanna have fun and look amazing while doing it, need/deserve love and attention from loved ones, gives you food if you forgot your lunch at home, makes jokes out of their pain, pure beauts with good hearts that will try to believe in the best of everyone, not afraid to be petty, main hoes.

virgo: will try to avoid being honest with you because they don’t want to hurt you, is taken advantage of too often, will bring you a cookie if youre having a bad day, courteous, organized, the person that always smiles at strangers just because, not really sure what they want out of life, can be very whiny, always want to be doing something to pretend like they have it together, if they are your friend please take advantage of how supportive they are to you, will very randomly give you compliments that can literally save your life because they;re always very thoughtful, amazing listeners, capable of fulfilling their dreams if they believe in themselves too, having boundaries is okay and you deserve to respect them if you want to;

libra: passionate about making others lives better, cuddle bugs, energetic, gives their time to anyone who actually listens to them, thinking outside of the box, probably really pretty, kind souls but a tough exterior, wears sweats to the store because who honestly cares, makes jokes with people on line at checkout, they probably have a tradition to cook breakfast on saturdays, knows how to look good and feel good, once they find their self-worth not a fucking bull-dozer can take it down, please try to fight them on facebook because you will lose, gentle people and will try to make you feel at home (problem: they don;t know how), quiet but their minds are spinning, need to learn to say no;, stop worrying about what others think of you (who gives a shit??), hate silence and being alone, queens.

scorpio: very honest but also very petty without shame, fun and funny, blasts old jams in their car while trying their very best to avoid accidents, hates high school and loves college, just want to find a group that they fit in with, will try their best to make your birthday amazing I swear, open minded to literally everything honestly, critical friend, will tease you about something that happened five years ago, a total nerd about things they really like, very smart and efficient if they are motivated by their passion, unique style in all ways, beautiful minds, they can come across as two-faced but they are very indecisive when it comes to opinions, embraces new experiences, secretive;

sagittarius: flirty and prolly is dating someone right now, wants everyone to be happy but forgets about making themselves happy, cooks pancakes for you at midnight on a Wednesday night, will almost cry but then remembers a funny video they saw and starts to laugh, hates themselves but shows themselves a lot of love, makes jokes out of their pain, lovable, look intimidating but are actually very welcoming, hides emotions like a pro, very optimistic about literally everything, if they get bored or annoyed they will move on from you, need to believe in themselves, don;t express gratitude but they really should, seemingly perfect(?), can sometimes compare themselves to others in order to make themselves feel better (stop.)

capricorn: doesnt study (yes I'm onto you bitch) for tests but still gets amazing grades, can be very fake but honest with people they are close to, traditional without trying, will be there for you, they are very observant and will remember if you did something that meant a lot to them, honestly needs a hug and affection a lot more than they say, takes long hot showers to make up for the lack in physical affection, lovely people, good people to sit with in the back of the movie theater so that you can talk the whole time, will accidentally spill tea and start drama, trying their best, work well with people who have a good drive for things they are passionate about,doesnt express emotion unless they cant hold it in any longer

aquarius: so fucking funny, constantly trying to be a better person in order to make up for the shitty world, watches documentaries about the sex industry, sticks to their morals, thinks a lot about life and the meaning of all of this, thinks (knows) the government is hiding something, will kill you if you hurt an animal, super chill and loves music, passionate, indecisive to the extreme, smokes weed to see if food tastes differently, interesting individuals, if they don't open up to you it's because they don't know how, if you mean a lot to them they will try to protect you from the world, is hard on you because they want you to succeed, moves from one passion to the other (you guys are super adaptable if need be), an amazing friend if they choose to put effort into the friendship

pisces: very confused about life and that makes them very sad, easily unstable, cries about failing a lot, not judge mental, hates it when people accuse them of something they didnt do, beautiful people with caring hearts that let in people who shouldnt be let in, offer you a hug if they see you upset in any way, wants people to like them, trying to find who they are, tend to let people laugh at their pain, shuts down their feelings when they feel attacked, doesnt purposely hurt anyone, will change themselves in order to be accepted,these people lose themselves too easily, once they find out who they are they are very stable and more content

[lilietsblog]

sailor moon episode 23 (nephrite gets fucked over: THE FUCKENING)

so obviously, seeing how i am the embodiment of pure logic, the next post is a sailor moon liveblog (those episodes are downloading fuck my internet)

man this sure is long... goddammit why is Nephrite's arc so good...

so hey if this isn't the first episode of the two-episode nephrite redemption arc

...and i have a ridiculous theory

it was last episode that Usagi destroyed the spirit that possessed Naru and Princess Diamond, and I remember joking about it being Nephrite's not-smooth side

what if there's truth to it what if in the last episode Usagi literally destroyed a part of Nephrite's soul that was preventing him from ever empathizing with anyone

i don't LIKE this theory mind you. i much prefer the interpretation that he was genuinely lonely bc its just more human and interesting

but also fuck Nephrite?

idk

hi Tsukino Usagi <3 you absolutely look like a superheroine. like since the secret identity thing first appeared, the idea that the superhero looked like an ordinary person in everyday life was the entire point, no?

OH HEY NARU my poor child )= who knows exactly how bad a decision she is making but I guess romance

and Usagi <3 'you're such a child' ahaha Naru if you only knew 'mature romance' I love just how much Usagi doesn't buy this bullshit <3 oh my god she's such a child though it's beautiful her and Naru

and Naru doesn't expect Usagi to react negatively to Sanjoin <3

I love how absolutely different in... tone? the two girls are here? Usagi, the emotional and exaggerated and passionate and playful and entirely self-aware of how childish she is being. and Naru, all engrossed in her ~romantic mystique~

Usagi really is the grown-up of the two of them here )=

queen <3

aw look at this Rei is in favor of cutting all the knots and sharing all the information and I can't not agree with this approach but also look how SURPRISED Usagi is when Ami suggests that they listen to her. like. Usagi literally doesnt expect them to want to hear her opinion on dealing with HER OWN BEST FRIEND.

everyone pls stop treating Usagi like shit 2k17 shes a powerful queen and can live through this but also... can we not

...granted, she ends up not being able to formulate a single thought when asked, but the point stands

Luna literally fuck you Usagi was the one who brought up the problem to begin with this was never yours to manage ever

oh and Nephrite has already gone rogue at this point he was fucked already I wonder what he's even looking for the Silver Crystal for?

'Kunzite told you to come check on me, didn't he?'

point 1: Queen Beryl couldn't summon Nephrite point 2: Kunzite and Zoicite know where to find Nephrite easily I wonder if the queen knows about the second fact... also, Nephrite is hiding from the queen, but expects Kunzite to be checking on him this looks like the shitennou have their own thing and i am Interested

...and they were talking like grownups up until Nephrite told Zoicite he would GET THE BETTER OF HIM after this its just HIDOI!!! <3

I WILL RESTORE MY HONOR sure Zuko whatever you say you are worse at your job than Jadeite and that's saying something

SPOOKY STAR STUFF BLACK CRYSTAL

I can't believe i ever thought the demons were cool but the aesthetics of everything are still pretty as shit and I wish more anime was like this )=

I love how Nephrite has no clue how his own compass thingy even works

OH MY GOD FIRST SIGHTING OF KUNZITE ISN'T IT AND LOOK AT ZOICITE BEING THE DRAMA QUEEN WHAT A PERFECT OPEN MOUTH HIDOI LOOK <33333333333

'WE CAN JUST STEAL IT' 'YOU'RE A GENIUS' ...im pretty sure Zoicite has come up with this himself and just wanted to lead Kunzite to suggesting it himself nothing is not fucked up here <3

aww Usagi faced with tough dilemmas <3 and nobody appreciates how difficult the emotional stuff is

omfg Usagi can spot Mamoru's fuckery telepathically before she sees or hears him <3

I love how little patience she has for his BS

MAMORU omfg these three are kinda Pure all together <3 Usagi's Other Friends ...as little as The Fucker qualifies as a friend...

okay he does give some helpful advice here

awww omg adorable Usagi is hungry and orders a ton of food makign the guys uncomfortable SHE IS VERY AWARE OF THIS DONT WORRY ITS MY TREAT ALSO MORE FOOD

I love my wonderful queen

also its an interesting contrast to that one Rei episode where she tries to set up a date with Mamoru Usagi is much more willing to go with the flow and relies much more on the situation in the moment than on cliches and truisms she's ordering lots of food, she will pay

...we all know why she's perpetually out of allowance don't we

YUKI YOU GOTTA BELIEVE USAGI RIGHT INTO IT she just shouts it all out and runs away ...maybe it would have been better if you stayed. Naru looks like she's going to act stupid just to be contrary <3

aww she did pay attention though HE IS JUST SO GORGEOUS JFC

man she's so naive OUR HEARTS MUST BE LINKED TOGETHER

poor Naru's mom )=

man the lamp and the butterflies this fucking visual metaphor the anime is not trying to fuck around with illustrating what Nephrite is saying

OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS THIS IS AIMED AT LITTLE CHILDREN AND KNOWS EXACTLY HOW UNSUBTLE IT HAS TO BE TO GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS

man Nephrite is an expert in manipulation not particularly subtle but effective on his chosen target, as he always is

man this smirt the bug zapper what is subtle?

poor Naru's mom )= and she worries about what's happened to Naru <3 she's securely in her corner

I love the way this conversation is playing out in the bg while the visual is Usagi running <3

transform, not transform, whatever, not the point

Usagi is protecting Her People <3

man the aesthetic of Sailor Moon reigns in my heart still unchallenged

I'LL ARREST YOU ON A CHARGE OF ROMANTIC FRAUD I'D SAY USAGI WAS THINKING UP THIS LINE THE ENTIRE TIME SHE RAN BUT LET'S BE REAL HER TALENT FOR MAKING UP THIS SHIT ON THE FLY IS UNCHALLENGEABLE

man she is so soft and round I love her <3

ahaha when faced with a choice of upholding his lie or attacking Sailor Moon Nephrite doesn't hesistate <3 he knows his priorities and he cn always mend things with Naru

man and Usagi is out of it in the middle of the battle again it's like she snaps into and out of fight mode and when she's out her processing is just kinda frozen by all the terrible shit going on she needs time to reset and get her head in the game and normally, that's what Tuxedo Kamen does

but this time, here come the girls <3

Usagi is not operating without backup, and boy is she happy about this fact right now

the absolutely ridiculous length of the animation of Ami's attack and a like ten seconds pause between Bubble and (Beam) Spray jfc Rei's is nearly as bad but still a little faster

OMG HERE IS THAT MOMENT 'Sanjoin-sama!' 'I didn't know she was still there...' the moment when Naru, in Nephrite's mind, crosses the line from 'bystander to be fucked with' into 'me and mine'

...and then she literally jumps in the way of Sailor Moon's tiara which has to be up there in 10 stupidest things anyone's ever done like girl Sailor Moon is a superhero you know it as well as anyone Nephrite is not even protesting the accusations and he would probably have dodged again he's been pretty good at that but no in your mind, a romantic story is already playing out, and in it, you're the plucky heroine, the only one in the unlucky hero's corner oh girl <3

I love how slowly the tiara is flying there it's not even slo-mo Usagi and Naru have time to talk and react with normal speed but Nephrite doesn't move

I guess this is just an anime convention and it IS meant to be slo-mo it's really cute <3

and aw yis Usagi displays fine control over her attack like yeah she's panicking but she like... does manage to stop it successfully (BY ASKING IT NICELY) (I LOVE TSUKINO USAGI) (and she is really surprised that it worked)

"This girl cares for me..." dear Nephrite. EXACTLY HOW IS THIS A SURPRISE. like you've been... setting her up for precisely that for the last two episodes already, and the entirety of this one

I guess it's not that it's surprising, but that it's really sinking in that he's got someone in his corner, someone who wants to protect him, someone who just probably for real saved his life someone behind whose back he can be safe I love this shot a lot:

its just so good in getting across the emotional filling with composition <3

and Naru is still not finding anything weird in the way Sailor Moon says her name desperately 'Naru-chan...' I GUESS SHE'S A LITTLE DISTRACTED AT THE MOMENT

oh hey the Black Crystal lights up wasn't it Usagi's tears that ended up turning into the ginzuishou and she's crying right now so that makes sense I wonder if it highlighted Naru as someone who can make Usagi cry...

OMG AND NEPHRITE'S MIND GOES INTO A DIFFERENT DIRECTION ALTOGETHER NO WONDER ZOICITE KNEW EXACTLY HOW TO GET HIM 'Is it reacting to a kind heart? Sacrificing her own life to save another...' like yeah it's a more plausible theory than 'Sailor Moon's tears are the ginzuishou' but he looks so profoundly affected by the idea <3

'Is this what human love is?'

okay now I'm just wondering what the fuck is going on in the Dark Kingdom because there's only so much fun I can poke at this bundle of ridiculous and this looks like Nephrite is speaking from bitterly jaded experience rather than ignorance look at his face

'fuck the dark kingdom for being fucked up, fuck the humans for having it better, and fuck me for getting myself stuck in this situation' <33333333333333 (look at the eyebrrrowsss)

omfg the monster

omg Naru picking it up

AHAHAH AND IN THE MOMENT WHEN HE'S PROTECTING NARU AND THE CRYSTAL WHEN HIS ACTIONS MAKE TOTAL SENSE WHAT HE SAYS IS NARU'S NAME IN THAT SPLIT SECOND HE WASN'T THINKING OF THE CRYSTAL

man I just... no matter how much of a fucker he is, this is still compelling )=

OMG USAGI'S SHOCK THO I LOVE WHAT THIS ANIME DOES WITH ITS VISUALS

Naru just faints

AND NEPHRITE HIMSELF IS IN EQUAL AMOUNT OF SHOCK LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS MY BRAIN DOING THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL AND I DONT LIKE THIS

YOUR HANDS DID NOTHING WRONG DUDE THAT WAS A REASONABLE THING TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO GLARE AT IS YOUR OWN MOUTH GRANTED THAT WOULD BE HARD TO DO WITHOUT A MIRROR PLEASE IMAGINE NEPHRITE FINDING A MIRROR JUST TO GLARE AT HIS OWN MOUTH IN IT WITH ME

seriously tho, he didn't even seem to realize that that was protecting the Black Crystal too, he just... didn't process that part. in his memory of his decision making process of that split second figures only Naru

<33333333333333

omg how pissed the demon is at Nephrite for BEING A TRAITOR AND DARING TO PROTECT A HUMAN

we get very few glimpses into what the Dark Kingdom is like and this is... interesting so much as just expressing care about a human is enough to be judged traitor... at least by this particular demon. might be just her tho

I love how thoroughly unimpressed Nephrite is with her attack like wow are you serious there

and Usagi steps in so we don't find out how the fight would have played out

look at this girl when she's had the moments of calm to get her bearings <3

oh and look at them standing around Naru all together! I'm not saying this is giving more fuel to my 'save Nephrite' Naru fanfiction urge but... it's totally giving more fuel to it a momentary ceasefire over a shared priority

and look at Usagi being visually obviously the leader... but also the most vulnerable and distracted one... and one being the reason for the other. Usagi is the one who has an avenue to act here, a motivation, someone who WILL initiate a ceasefire, and the girls stand over - and behind! - her as her bodyguards, for what might be the first time

they are deferring to her decision and backing her up fully

it would be really nice if this didn't come on the heels of a continuing storm of verbal abuse but o well i'll take what i get and so will Usagi

the leader purely because she isn't going to follow anyone else

AND HE GIVES HER BACK THE BAUBLE NOTICE HOW HE DIDN'T DO IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE REALIZED IT WAS USELESS IT JUST DIDN'T OCCUR TO HIM THAT IT WAS NARU'S PROPERTY AND HE SHOULD RETURN IT BUT NOW HE DOES BECAUSE CONCEPTS SUCH AS 'NARU IS A PERSON AND HER INTERESTS AND PROPERTY ARE A THING' HAVE APPEARED IN HIS MIND

and oh man I can't get enough of the visual moments in this

this doesnt get to be a moment Nephrite wordlessly shares with Naru this is a moment Nephrite wordlessly shares with Naru and a very pissed Usagi she is there, she is looking out for Naru, and she is not amused

queen <3

"Nephrite, why can't you be a little considerate of Naru's feelings?!"

this is interesting in how much Usagi is out of sync with Nephrite's arc here like there's the obivous answer that he has no reason to be and then there's the point that he just kind of was there's him barely just starting to figure out that Naru HAS feelings and the fact that this outburst at this point is more likely to set him back on this journey than help him along

Usagi is NOT here for his arc and nOT here for his bullshit she's here for Naru, and all logical reasoning, plot, character arcs and emotional subtleties of the manipulator can go to hell Usagi cuts straight to the point if Nephrite wants to be on the same playing field as her he damn well better live up to ALL of her standards fuck baby steps

AND THE GIRLS BACK HER UP WHICH IS BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE MORE AWARE THAN USAGI OF HOW LITTLE MOTIVATION NEPHRITE HAS TO BE CONSIDERATE OF NARU THEY AREN'T GIVING HIM THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT USAGI IS BUT THEY SHARE THE SENTIMENT AND THEY WORD THEIR STATEMENTS AS SUPPORT FOR USAGI AND HER POINT I LOVE THIS

oh my god tho 'obviously he doesn't have a heart!' and Nephrite makes a really ugly grimace and goes 'obviously you guys know nothing!' i wonder where that hurt him ...and he segues right into the ginzuishou helping the dark kingdom rule the world which is an adorable nonsequitur indicative of just how much of a war over priorities is going on in his head right now he's trying to convince HIMSELF that he doesn't care about Naru and he's successful-ish... for the moment

omg this is literally the first time the senshi hear about the ginzuishou isn't it let's hear if Luna knew about it 'it sounds familiar' apparently nope

SARAMADA HAHAHAHHA i love this dork

OH MY GOD USAGI <3 'stars, please, if Nephrite cares about Naru, don't let him do any more bad things' I just love everything about this Usagi is giving him the benefit of the doubt because she's just like that it's who she is (WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON) she also realizes that it's going to take fucking star intervention to have him not do any more bad things because caring about one person =/= not being a complete fucker

...

OH MY GOD

STARS RIGHT

AND NEPHRITE

AND LET'S BE REAL DYING AT THE END OF THE NEXT EPISODE IS THE ONLY WAY HE COULD END UP NOT DOING ANY MORE BAD THINGS

DID

DID STARS HEAR USAGI'S PLEA AND GUIDE NEPHRITE TO HIS DEATH SO IT COULD COME TRUE

IS THIS REDEMPTION EQUALS DEATH ENFORCED IN-UNIVERSE

IS USAGI'S HEARTFELT PLEA HERE THE REASON NEPHRITE DIES

THAT IS VERY THEMATICALLY APPROPRIATE AND VERY HILARIOUS

look at this pure child who has no idea she's condemning him to death at this point <3

[simpleguitarguy]

July 18, 2020

3:30AM

Hiding things.

I started off my character to be this guy who everyone can rely on and was a one call away person. That whenever im called i'd always say yes.

But I learnt alot past that phase. I became this ignorant selfish fool who would just want his feelings to be acknowledged and treated well. then I ended the phase.

Back in january there were things that I did hide from people especially my girlfriend and I wouldnt want to come back to this topic as I was in the wrong even if I didnt really have bad intentions.

After that, I would remind myself to just be true and immediately tell or rather be open on my status and what I think about, and who do I talk to, and what I am planning , what am I doing.

So I stepped up to be that man who people could ask and give honest opinions and answers without hiding it.

but, After awhile in this realization that i've made and adjustments I do and the passion to commit that my heart wants.

its recently unappreciated based on what I hear and see.

Even though I did my own improvement.

Even if I tried to be more trustworthy.

I guess people and my girlfriend thinks I am still the same person as before.

The same person who was years ago.

as if I never grew.

as if I never lived.

it sticks to my mind that I am being barraged by the information about my previous mistakes that I gave effort to learn and Honestly, right now.

without even being mad.

I can die , not because of anyone. but if I die it is a favor for myself.

I am not a perfect person. Even someone who is aware of solutions can be broken because of a negative force.

as those people who took their own lives would say. They tried their best. They were far away from the ones who they want to help and cant take the ones who are near that can help but doesnt really notice.

I can say I am still Hiding.

I am hiding this thought that one day people would see it and say I am sorry dale.

I lived for 23 years wanting to be appreciated and right now I dont talk to anyone.

I dont have a Mother who wants to care about me. All she does is live her own life and wait for us to be far from her. All I can feel is that I am still alone in a house that has people.

All I can do is try even harder and try and try and eventually (I hope) I won't have to go.

still, I posted this because its just me.

I havent been listening to music.

it pains me even more when I hear the words that my dying heart would want to hear.

And if my girlfriend sees this, I hope you would always have a great day and I dont want you to blame yourself.

It's just that in these situations we have this choice to be helpful and sacrifice our own burden for another or just leave.

and this time I was alone, but I still do appreciate your efforts and I am always sorry for being faulty and inconsistent and basically a failure.

I am hoping that after I write this letter.

I would still have the chance to see the moon lying anywhere and just staring in the night sky.

and I hope you could join me.

so this is my thought for today.