#i dont feel like im falling apart in my dreams

[fallen--starlight]

hi tumblr user if-you-soul i need to preface this by saying i was actually discussing the god awful mischaracterization this fandom inflicts on HMS with my besties & opened tumblr to look for your reblog of that soul fanart saying "YOU fell for the character's facade that was meant to be dismantled by the viewer!" & got hit w this & it MADE MY DAY. i fucking love this album to death & im a soul fictionkin so these things drive me up a fucking wall

cccc is pretty straightforward while also being purposefully vague & left up to interpretation in many areas but soooo many people take interpretation to twisting the narrative until its no longer what it was & it makes me ask myself did we listen to same tracks here?? where are yall getting these things from???? this got rly fucking long so im adding a cut here voilá

when people talk abt the mischaracterization in the fandom its usually focused on heart & mind so im INSANELY glad to see someone talk abt the soul shit. cause what kinda crack are people on?? he never threatens to harm h&m except for at the end of TSE where he is... having a mental breakdown? have people forgotten what it's like to have a breakdown??? you say shit you dont mean bc you're splitting at the seams & falling apart. there is no point in the entire album where soul is portrayed as manipulative/entitled/evil/violent/abusive/erratic, which are descriptions a surprisingly large amt of ppl seem to subscribe to? HE'S A VICTIM !!!! & im so glad you said it! i too have been in a kind of middleman position to parties fighting with each other & its insanely detrimental to one's mental health & had me at an incredibly low point so yeah TSE feels deeply personal to me & soul's character in general (waves in soul kin again LMAO), drives me bonkers how ppl describe him.

mind WISHES he was unfeeling. heart calling him an automaton freak doesnt mean he doesnt feel! it means that he just PUSHES AWAY & REPRESSES EMOTION, or at least tries to. like one has to really emphasize that everything between the heart acoustic & the soul eclectic has mind clearly displaying rage & bitterness & all kinds of emotions. even the end of TME says "maybe my existence might be by design, a simple fact that he'll refuse to see" like bro says its a maybe & then immediately claims its a fact yall are falling for his facade so hardcore its not even funny atp. the way people treat heart is borderline gross, he is NOT an uwu baby innocent boy that doesnt know anything & ppl infantilize him so much idek why. heart represents emotion- ALL emotions. & you're right! emotions are so fucking draining & exhausting at times, especially if you're mentally ill! all this weird portrayal of evil mind & innocent heart is so ?? can i quote TSE with neither is wrong yet neither is right. all 3 of them are neither good nor evil. they're people. they're human. the album really emphasizes this a lot.

the juno incident & RoE in general is made to be a much bigger deal by the fandom that it really is. applies to more than one thing in cccc but RoE takes the cake tbh. & yeah! whole is an entirely fanon thing lololol like im pretty fucking sure even chonny jash has said this someway or another. what we call whole is literally just...chonny. i think ppl took dream's "when harmonia shines, atlas beholds her" & RAN. & honestly i like whole hcs but this brings me to another thing: i really feel like cccc fans come up with so many hcs & interpretations for the album that they forget what the canon is in favor of their fanon. there's so much shock gore & gore in general for lowkey no reason in here </3 its so much & for what. fanon is awesome like everyone should be free to do whatever but i do wish ppl would Remember Canon a bit more & separate their hcs from it more. along with the gore. where are yall getting all this insane amount of gore & violence from. i feel like any violence alluded to in the album is more metaphorical than it is physical bc emotions can be felt violently. internal violence. the album is abt the never ending cycle of mental illness getting better & then getting bad again & so forth as a natural part of life & accepting yourself in those moments.

tl;dr u r so correct & i couldnt agree more & you've voiced the way i've felt abt this fandom for ages we lost the fucking plot & kept running anyways lets pause & find it again thank you so much for sharing ur yapsesh with us

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[magicstormfrostfire]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[hecksupremechips]

Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*

[nobody-cares-with-you]

I don't think I'm ok? And not in the sense of something bad happened or I'm depressed just that?! It feels like I don't know how to feel? Like there's a lack of feelings within me lately even tho everything is ok. My family is ok, my bf is super supportive, I talk to my friends sometimes but I'm so empty? I don't wanna do anything, just stay in everyday and lose myself in fictional worlds (books and movies) and that's the only time I feel something?

[strab3rr]

(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT

I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY

IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)

i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how

anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)

two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water

youve read it correct drinking water.

i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.

i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)

being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage

being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)

being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)

glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)

dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)

healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)

and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)

then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:

new phone, +macbook air

dream apartment of my own

pinterest closet

lifa app for this reality

financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)

knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)

a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)

my parents being more lovable and away from me

every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling

and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)

then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)

one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.

still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀

4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much

a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.

and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.

for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.

sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.

oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.

YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.

and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.

and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.

and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.

and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS

i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself

because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)

is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check

the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck

dream body and hair- check and check

i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself

not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.

im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help

now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess

loves, siena.

[rottingcompost]

had like the worst store-related experience today when at the store so it took like an hour for me to finish because i was so messed up. never going to the store again when extremely hung-over on my sleeping medication ever again

[pedge-page]

You Please, My Pleasure

Sub! Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings: Sub!Joel, Mommy kink, cowgirl/riding, orgasm denial, over stimulation, unprotected sex, cream pie, orgasm control, reader’s hand makes a pretty necklace for Joel, themes of free use, objectification, praising words for Joel (sweet boy, etc), bitty breeding kink at end

18+ ONLY

- - - -

You sat In a community table at the cafeteria, over hearing a group of other women chattering about the men they'd been eying up:

"You seen that Joel Miller around?"

"Oh, he's hot as hell. I dont care how old he is."

"So protective, and strong, and firm. Jesus just look at him those broad, muscled shoulders and back. Bet he's a wild night."

"Shhh!"

"Im serious! The lucky girls he's probably pleasing..."

'Did you you hear he's apparently great with a gun."

He could ram his big gun in me any day."

"Shut up Claire! Oh my god."

"I just know it. Bet he could make you ache for days. Half the men here wouldn't compare to a guy like Joel in bed. I just have my own fingers to keep me barely satisfied, dreaming about a hunk like that."

"What about you?"

You hear your own named piped up, apparently leaning too far in to their conversation and now finding yourself included.

"Oh." You glance at the clock behind them, realizing you had to get back to your house instead of listening to the lady gossip of the town. "Luckily I just have my own toy to come home to..." and you escuse yourself with a gentle smile.

-

There was something beautiful about watching a strong, built, capable man like Joel Miller absolutely fall apart under you. The way his high pitched moans bounce within the confines of your bedroom, not one secret of his confessions ever leaving the safety of these four walls. His flush skin adorned in bright claw marks, almost a way of claiming him under those rugged clothes. His stomach tensing then releasing with each breathy pant, eyes rolling as he tries to hold on to the little control he has over his orgasms.

An unearthly sight. Just for you.

“Ah—ahh fuck!” He cries. Joel’s hips crash up against yours, shaking as he concentrates on starving off his orgasm.

You slow the rocking of your hips to gentle glides, your palm caressing the stubble of his cheek. “Shhhhhh, I know. I know. You’re bein’ so good tonight, baby.”

He nods with furrowed brows, eyes closed and head thrown back into the soft white pillow. His beautiful brown curls splayed out on the satin case like a god. “I’m—I’m bein’ so good,” he repeats, swallowing the lump in his throat as he feels himself regaining composure over the tight coil wound in his stomach.

“That’s right. That’s my good boy,” you praise. 

You start a slow rhythm again, softly bouncing on his thick cock that’s been teetering on the edge for an hour now, buried snugly in your suffocating pussy. 

“Good boy,” you coo again. “Mommy never leaves your aching cock neglected, huh? Let you live in my warm sopping pussy all day and night.”

“mmmm—yeah—yes Ma’am. Treatin’ me—s’good.”

You’ve trapped his body, your knees caging him between your legs. You can feel the tense quivers in his spread thighs, unable to do much as your ankles have wrapped back over the meat of them, pinning him below you. He can’t fuck up, can’t squirm. If he wanted to throw you off him, there’s no doubt the immense strength in him could. But he doesn’t. 

His hands are on your waist reassuringly, only to remind himself that you’re still here, guiding him through it. He’s gotten so much better at not taking back control, relinquishing his mind, body, and soul to you.

You feel the steady twitch of him inside you, dragging so deliciously along your walls, taking full advantage of his girth pushing to the crest of your womb. “You’re the best cock I’ve ever cum on.”

“Hahhhh, oohhhhhgggghhhh, tha—oh f-fuck!—thank you—“ he can’t help the slight canter of his own pelvis rolling up into you, brushing his tip along your cervix. “Thank you, Mommy. I—You feel so good—I feel—feel amazing, sweetheart. J-Jesus fuck. Love—love your tight pussy—choking’ my cock. Usin’—usin’ me.”

“Yeah? You like being my fucktoy?” The hand on his face slow glides to his mouth, your thumb hooking on the side and tugging before letting it spring back to place. You then push your fingers around his thick throat, the other hand planting firmly on his plush chest to hold you up. You don’t crush his neck, only leave your touch there as a warning. You ass slams down harshly on his fat cock, making him hiss, encouraging the new rough fucking you’re giving him. The room fills with the obscene slapping of skin against skin as you ride him harder.

“Yeah—yeah! Ye—ah fuck—fuck yes!” He croaks, teeth gritting as he stares you down with hooded eyes. “I l-love bein’ your little fuck stick. Comin’ home n’ fuckin’ me, fuckmefuckmefuckme!—turning’ me into y-your personal dildo. FUckMommy, yeah!”

His tongue sticks out, smiling hazily as his neck arches, head thrown further back, pushing him into your touch. He looked so fucking pretty wrapped around your fingers.

He doesn’t realize his hands have grasped at your breasts, squeezing them in his big hands. 

“Look at me,” you command, breathless yet still pulling your authoritative voice over him. His head snaps back, watching the way your body glistens on top of him with each bounce. Your hips were practically flush together, grinding down on him with precision. “Did I say you could touch my tits?”

He retracts his hands immediately, returning to their rightful place on your hips. “N-No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry Mommy, please.”

You tighten your grip around his throat. “You live— for my pleasure.”

He lets out a guttural groan from deep within his chest. “Yeah—yeah fu—oh fuck, shit—yes Mommy! squeezing’ me so tight, m’just for you, all yours, want you to feel so fuckin’ good, mmmm—” He’s nodding quickly, little wailing growls growing louder as you crash your pussy down on his weeping length over and over again. His lips are parted, fast short breaths being forced out as he feels his pleasure climbing.

“That’s right,” you pant, lost in the prickling feeling of your clit snagging against his pubic hair, smothering your throbbing nub.

“Nnffmmmm—I’m—I’m gonna cum, Mommy. Please, please tell me I can cum,” he whines.

You stop your hips entirely, ignoring the way his face curls into anguish and cries out pathetically. His body is shaking violently under you with the denial.

 You laugh wickedly in his face. “No, nonono, sweet boy.” You let him continue to whimper and quiver below, his cock twitching between your folds. You lean down and grip his hair, kissing him with your tongue invading his lips like a serpent in a rabbits den. You suck his bottom lip before pressing your foreheads together, rolling into a slow, devastating grind that has him seizing in near pain under you.

“I still want more cock.” 

Joel elicits a small whimper, reducing himself to nodding again. You cup around his cheek once more, a loving, natural tone slipping out of you. “Can you do that for me?”

 “Y-yes. Yes.” He coughs obediently, voice strained beyond recognition. 

You sit back up, both of your hands digging into his chest and start riding him more aggressively again. “Fuck me like you want to give me more cock.”

He gasps out a pained yelp. Joel’s beefy fingers clench your sides, nails pinching into your lower back. His knees bent, feet planted wide apart digging into the mattress to thrust up into you. He fucks you with vigor, ignoring his own pleasure too rapidly building inside him again in exchange to watch your tits bounce, hear your gorgeous voice flood the air with each powerful ram. 

“Ugh—oh yeah, baby that’s it!” You cry, tilting your head up to the ceiling. “Fuck me, fuck me so good, baby!”

But his hips are rutting too high, too fast, breath coming out too shallow. “Oh—oh god, I’m gonna—Mommy fuck I can’t! I can’t stop, I’m gonna—!”

“Don’t you dare fucking cum, Joel,” you snap. Your pussy contracts around the width of his cock in a death grip, unable to stop the aggressive back and forth grind as you chase your orgasm.

He’s shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut as you start to cum around him. 

“Oh f-fuCK I can’t—ICAN’T!—I’m—FUCKfuck!—“ His balls draw tight as he releases thick spurts of his seed, load after load filling your convulsing cunt as he forces out harsh pants through clenched teeth—“Mommy I’m sorry! I’m cumming! I can’t stop—I can’t stop fuckin’ cummin—ohjesus I’M CUMMING.” He’s absolutely pouring buckets, each throb of his cock inside you pushes more cum deep into your convulsing womb. The two of you are moaning together in high tune, though his even more desperate, slightly pained after being denied all night.

You settle before he does, eerily quiet atop him as his staggered breaths and fluttering chest calms. When the fog in his mind clears, his eyes fly open, shame washing over him at what he’d done.

“M-Mommy I—“

But you don’t listen, slowly driving back down with his spent cock sloshing in and out of your drenched cunt.

“Ah!” He yells, fingers tightening around your waist in a plea to stop the overstimulation. You yank his wrists off of you and pin them above his head. With each rock of your hips, you feel his stomach tensing and releasing, unsure of the overburdening sensation you’re forcing on his poor dick.

“mmmfffff—nnoo, Mommy, No more, please!”

You still ignore him, rutting your ass back down on his dick now that it’s fully erected again. His seed spills down the base of his cock, wet slaps overlapping with his pathetic pants.

“AURRgghhHH!! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He begs. “I’m—Mommy—fuck—fuck I can’t!”

“You can and you will.” You state plainly, pace continuing without falter.

His shaking digits desperately try to collide with the death grip around his wrists. “Please, please, how can I make it up to you??”

You smile inwardly. The desperation in his hoarse yet sweet voice, his shaking limps both squirming away and subconsciously thrusting back up in to your tight heat, more, less, more, he’s so unsure of the overstimulation wracking his bones. You liked this Joel. You want to keep this Joel. 

And he knows. 

“We’re not done until you fuck a baby in me.”

- - - -

Permanent Taglist:

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[abilouwrites]

WRINGING MY HANDS IN MY LAP

AND YOU DONT KNOW IF YOU’LL MAKE IT BACK

I don’t appreciate uncertainty, growing up confident and sure of how my life was going to turn out. That I would become a doctor; or a nurse maybe.

I didn’t expect to fall into a committed relationship with someone I was so sure I wanted to marry at twenty four. I never wanted to date a hero; it’s common within hospitals. Finding a fling with a sexy injured hero. I didn’t except it to be for me.

Yet it was. I fell in love with him, “so you’re leaving?” I ask as he walks out of the shower. Just after dropping the bomb he would be leaving for a secret mission early the next week.

“No” he states, pouring himself a glass of wine and joining me at the stove, “I’m just going on a mission. I dunno when I’ll come back” he restates, but there’s a change. He changed his words.

“No. You said ‘I don’t know if I’ll come back’ Katsuki what does that mean? Are you going to die?” I ask, clicking the stove off and turning to face him, “let me rephrase it” I clarify, “do you think you’re going to die?”

He looks uncertain, damp hair brushes through his eyelashes, it makes me scared. The uncertainty on his face, the way his lips are turned down and sucked against his cheek, “I don’t know” he admits, “I wasn’t told much about it. Just that it was dangerous. But all of my away missions usually are”

I feel like throwing up, “they couldn’t have picked anyone else? Anyone?” I ask, “I don’t like this” I shake my head and take a sip out of my glass. I feel sick to my stomach, like whatever happens it’s not going to end well.

“I’m a hero, it comes with the job. If you can’t deal with that, maybe we shouldn’t” I know where this is going to end. I know he’s going to say we shouldn’t be together.

“No. I’ll.. I’ll be ok” I murmur, I find myself shutting down. Sitting and observing instead of listening. I’m not mad. Scared maybe, “what happens if you don’t come back?” I ask. My knees brought to my chest as I sit in my dining room, watching him pass me the plate of chicken

“I’ll come back” he says, “I promise”

“No. That doesn’t work for me” I tell him, picking at my dinner, “I need to know what happens. If you don’t come home. We’re not married” I explain, “you have no legal ties to me”

“You’re in my will. Im not stupid” he retorts, it’s like the thought never crossed my mind. But he’d never told me.

“But you never told me this, how am I supposed to know when you never told me ‘hey y/n. I put you in my will, hope that’s ok!’” I groan sitting up from the chair, “it’s like when you put me as your emergency contact without talking to me first”

It’s so frustrating when he does this, does something and doesn’t talk to me about his choice. Then gets upset when I become frustrated, it’s a never ending cycle of this, “I’m going to bed. I have to work tomorrow” I mumble grabbing my phone from the counter and walking to the only bedroom in my little apartment.

I feel when the bed dips, his arms instinctively move under and over me. Like a prolonged hug, I don’t want to move. I feel him plaster soft kisses against the nape of my neck, “I love you” I hear him whisper, “and I’m going to come back, and then I’m going to marry you” I listen, allowing the words to soothe me. Comfort me. Allowing myself to imagine me. In a white dress, with a ring on my finger. I want to picture it.

God I wanted it so bad.

It’s been a year, and each night it’s the same dream. Kirishima with a sorrowed look on his face as I walk out of the patients room to where I’ve been called. I knew it when I saw his face, closed eyes and a lip quivering underneath his teeth. My heart sinking into my stomach, “tell me it’s not what it is” I begged, holding onto his wrists as he guides me into an ‘on-call’ room. Sitting me in the chair and gently gripping into the plush of my thighs. Repeated apologies of how he couldn’t have saved him.

Except each time I keep waking up, just as he bows his head at my knees and tells me the love of my life. The only person I ever thought I could marry. Died. And somehow— he keeps thinking it’s his fault. Even if it wasn’t— and as much as I want to blame him. I can’t.

I’m heaving, wailing and crying once again. Four in the morning; crudely awoken from my sleep by the haunting memories. I shake as I pull myself out of bed. Trembling down the hall.

I hate this feeling, so empty even though I feel like I should’ve gotten over it. I should’ve grieved all I had to grieve. But I can’t.

I was stiff and uncomfortable at his funeral, picking at my skin and sitting in the back-row. His mother pleaded I sit with her. I wanted to, but I was just a girlfriend- a girlfriend he wanted to marry.

I knew he wouldn’t come home, deep in my heart I knew he wouldn’t return to my little apartment, no matter how badly I wanted him too.

[ben-pincus]

my love is a life taker (ben pincus x darius bowman)

(pre chaos theory season 1)

tags : ben in denial of being a boy kisser, nightmares, trauma from isla nublar, mention of being eaten alive by pteranodons, fluff, a pinch of angst??? maybe ?????, idk i love benrius sobs, theyre so cute

the time was 3:06AM. ben was awoken by his usual nightmares of pteranodons in a cold sweat, disorientated and convinced those winged creatures were coming for him. again.

his breaths were heavy, eyes wide as he sat upright in his bed, the college dorms quiet. he felt light, weak, like he was falling from the monorail again.

he clutched at his chest, willing himself to calm down. his dreams, or nightmares for a better word always end with him dying, either from hitting the ground too hard, or being painfully torn apart by the pteranodons, and the only thoughts going through his head then are;

i wont be able to see darius again.

he doesnt know why darius is the first person to come to mind when he thinks about dying. everytime he thinks about darius, he gets nervous, and giddy.

but hes not gay. or, at least he thinks so. hes been with girls before but.. darius is different. more special.

ben sighs, running his hands down his face as he inhales shakily. he picks up his phone, checking through his messages, unaware that darius was also doing the same.

darius, distracted from late night work from the dpw, texts ben,

"you up?"

bens heart almost explodes out of his chest. but there it is, that feeling again. like his heart is going to explode.

ben texts back in an instant, his fingers fumbling over the screen,

"yeah"

darius takes a minute to respond,

"nightmares again?"

ben mentally curses himself. the fact that darius knew how often his nightmares were made him feel embarrassed.

"yeah, and just thinking about stuff"

that stuff being you, ben thought. but what was he meant to say? hey! you're my best friend and i think im gay for you! hope this doesnt make things awkward!

of course its gonna make things awkward, he tells himself. hes cool with gay people, hell, he even helped yaz and sammy. but why is it so hard to accept that he might like guys too?

he almost forgets hes texting darius. almost.

"what stuff?"

darius responds. ben lowers his phone, resisting the urge to just smash it into pieces, but he also wants to tell darius whats going on.

so he lies.

"college :/"

he doesnt give a shit about college right now. hes been so preoccupied with trying to figure himself out.

he even went to sammy.

they met up for a 'coffee', but ben just wanted to get her advice.

"ben? what's eatin' ya? you're never this quiet.." sammy notices, her eyebrows furrow as she slightly leans over the small table.

ben sighs, running his hand through his hair, "i... its about darius." he says quietly.

"what? he not pickin' up again? because i swear to god i told him!-"

"no! no.. its.. god.." he groans, leaning back in the chair and covering his face with his hands.

"ben.." sammy drags out, wanting to know whats going on. ben suddenly leans forward, looking down at the coffee cup in his hands before looking up at sammy,

"how.. how did you know you were lesbian?" he whispers.

a flash of confusion appears on sammys face, before her eyes widen, the pieces fitting together.

"you.. like darius..?" she asks quietly, to which ben nods.

"i- i know you can like both guys and girls but i.. why cant i accept it as easily as you did?" he whispers, the frustration evident in his voice.

sammy puts her hand over bens,

"i didnt accept it right away." she admits quietly, "nearly no one does."

ben looks at her, his eyes slightly widened.

"you didnt?" he whispers, to which sammy shakes her head.

"it took a while.." she shrugs, "but.. y'know. i got there! and i got the best girlfriend in the world!" she smiles.

ben wants to smile, but he cant.

"sammy, i- i dont know if darius swings that way. what if i tell him and it ruins everything?" he whispers, all these thoughts swirling in his head.

"you wont know unless ya tell him." she says, squeezing bens hand reassuringly.

"how?" ben asks, his voice strained.

"just tell him." sammy nods, "you dont gotta know what ya are right away... jus' know what you're feelin'."

he doesnt know the amount of times hes typed out a paragraph to darius, and then deleted it out of fear of being shunned.

bens fingers hover over the call button. he doesnt wanna do it over text, its too.. sleazy..

bens finger accidentally presses the call button, and before he can cancel it, darius picks up.

"hey, ben. you okay? you dont usually call." darius' voice rings out from the phone.

"yeah- yeah, i'm uh, fine-" ben mentally slaps himself for sounding like he just ran a marathon and back.

"you dont sound it." darius hums.

"i gotta tell you something, d." the words slip out of bens mouth before he can even catch the letters from falling out.

theres a beat before darius responds,

"...what is it?" darius says quietly.

ben doesnt know how to respond, so he rambles. says whatever his heart is telling him.

"d. i love you. and not in like, a-a friend way. i wanna hold your hand, and kiss you, and be seen with you as your boyfriend. i wanna hold you and sleep next to you and take you out on dates and treat you how you deserve to be treated-" he stops himself with a shaky breath.

darius is quiet. too quiet.

fuck. ben thinks.

"really?" darius muses, ben cant read his tone.

"yeah.. really." ben swallows nervously.

ben really is hoping darius swings that way right now, to save him from the embarrassment.

"well.. uh.. yeah, yeah.. so do i." darius says quietly, tripping over his words. bens heart almost stops.

"what?" he asks.

darius laughs, "i feel the same, ben."

"well, uh.. thats um.. great." ben says, unsure on how to react now.

he can hear darius moving around,

"can i drop by tomorrow? figure things out between us?" darius asks.

bens voice catches in his throat, "yes-" he clears his throat,

"yeah. you can. you- you need directions?" ben asks.

"already know where you are. and uh... sammy told me already." darius chuckles,

"sam- oh my god.." bens face burns up, and he hears darius laughing again.

and by god, is it the most beautiful sound ben has ever heard.

[onlycrystal]

nanami brain-rot

cw! professor!nanami x student!reader (age gap; reader is in her 20s, kento in his 30s), ddlg, sexual content (im too lazy to write allat)

not proof read, I wrote this in like 30 min at 1am im sry if it aint too good

currently thinking about professor! nanami...

who is sitting at the coffee table of his cozy, charactered apartment. he reads the latest newspaper and sips his earl-grey tea, relaxed, much unlike you. finals are coming up, and since you can barely understand general chemistry, your procrastination gets the best of you. you’re seated on nanami’s sofa, wearing one of his oversized collared shirts. he always thinks its so cute how they completely engulf you in fabric. however, 7 unfinished, late assignments from professor suguru’s class, are all due in a week.

you groan and bury your face into the palms of your hands, “you will not pass my class if you dont submit those assignments” you mock your professors words, and stare back at the unfinished work. suddenly, you realize that you’re in a relationship with a professor. he can help you, right? i mean, he may teach biology, but the man is smart.

“namiiii~” you whine as you look at the blonde, stoic main across the room from you with doe eyes. he replies without looking up from his newspaper, “yes, doll?” 

“i dont get this, can you pleaseeee help me?” sighing, nanami gets up from the coffee table and approaches you. “you know how much i hate doing work in my free hours” nanami slightly grumbles as he sits next to you, attaching his long, slender hands to your hips. he slightly picks you up, and moves you between his legs so you're sitting in his lap. “...but for you, ill make an exception.” he rasps against your ear and kisses it. his actions makes you blush, but no. you needed to focus on your work.

“i just don’t understand all these theorems and laws” you whine and shift in his lap, feeling defeated from how deep you've gotten yourself in this shit. you realize you shifted a bit too much and blush hard at the feeling of hardness start to develop from underneath you. nanami leans forward, which brings you to rub against him harder. you blush even harder, and he just points at the paper and begins to explain, “lets start with boyle’s law, darling. you use it when...” you drone out his voice, and embarrassingly enough, find yourself start to heat up down there. you rub your thighs together only slightly so he wont notice. feeling him so hard down there is so distracting. you just wanna forget about all this work and f-

“babygirl, are you even listening to me right now?” you dont even realize he's talking until he speaks that last word, which brings you to snap out of your dirty day dreams and look up at him. you meet his gaze to be acknowledged with a cold gaze. “y-yes! yes, im listening” you stutter out, gulping.

he shuts your notebook a bit harshly and slides it across the table without getting up. he puts his dainty hand on your chin, and forces you to look up at him. “recite boyle’s law.” he says, slightly smirking as he slowly starts to piece together why you weren't listening. your eyes shoot across the room nervously “ummm... i-its.. uh...” you trail off.

he removes his hand from your chin. his large hands meet your hips again, as he moves you closer to him. soon enough, you’re pressed up against his chest and crotch. “aww, is my little girl so desperate she couldnt focus away from daddy?” he whispers in your ear to be met with no response.

he slightly thrusts towards your lower body, earning a sweet whimper to fall from you lips. “asked you a question, baby” you nod your head yes hesitantly and are suddenly turned around. your eyes widen at how close your faces are, and the intimacy of the whole situation. nanami crashes his lips onto yours, which forces a muffled mewl to fall from your lips. his hands travel up and down your body before they meet your chest and begin to fondle your breasts. your whines and whimpers aren’t censored anymore when nanamis lips move onto your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin and turning you into a moaning mess. your hands meet his hair and tug slightly at his blonde locks. his touch was just so satisfying. your body continued to grind on his crotch with was now fully hard, causing you to moan sweetly and kento to groan onto your neck. in desperation, you frantically unloosen his tie and start to undo the buttons of his chemise before he grabs your wrists and stops you. “ah, ah, ah”

he chuckles when he removes himself from your neck and looks at your face. you look desperate; big eyes, pouting lips, lip tint smeared, and hickies on your throat. that said, he wasn’t looking as uniformed as he did. you had messed up his neat hair, got some of your lip tint on his lips so they appeared more kissable than ever, along with his shirt barely even being kept on. grinning, he removes his glasses from his face and cleans them with his shirt. looking down as he cleans them he says, “maybe i gotta fuck some knowledge into my little princess, isn't that right, dear?” he teases, but desperate as you are, you nod without shame. he chuckles at you again, contributing to your embarrassment before putting his glasses on you. “even wearing my shirt, baby, so cute” you blush, and he abruptly hooks his finger around your underwear and tugs them down. 

nanami rubs circles you on your clit and teases a finger at your entrance. “d-daddy...” you mewl which only makes him grin harder. “gonna make my baby smart.” he says before he jams 2 digits into you. you throw your arms around his neck, tugging hard at his hair as you’re reduced to moans. he continues fingering you, as he uses the thumb of his other hand to continue rubbing circles on your clit. you squirm in his lap as your orgasm approaches, sweetly moaning as you release all over his fingers. he hums as he stares you in the eyes, licking your slick off his fingers clean.

“since you’ve been so obedient, ill let you ride me.” he says curtly. you blush hard, but the thought of his dick sends butterflies to your stomach. you shyly zip down his pants and bring down his boxers, letting his fully erect cock spring free from his pants. you align yourself with his dick, and slowly let yourself down on his length, inch by inch. you whine at the stretch, and hear nanami let out a low moan. “fuck, you’re so tight” he tilts his head back slightly. finding yourself now comfortable to his length, you slowly start to bounce up and down on his cock. he lets out groans and moans, his hands stay glued to your tits, fondling them with every bounce. you lose your composure, getting even dumber, chemistry the farthest thing from your mind, as his glasses start to go crooked on your face. he looks at you and chuckles “daddy’s cock fuck you even stupider? its okay baby... you feel so fucking good” you whine at his dirty talk, hands gripping his shoulders tightly as you bounce relentlessly on his dick. “n-nami~ gonna- c-cum~” you moan loud as his length hits you in all the right places. he moans into your ear “princess~ fuck” he releases into your pussy as you cream all over his dick. you pant hard as you stay close to his chest, basically hugging him. you face him as he plants a kiss on your cheek and pats your head.

“’ts okay, honey. i have an idea... how bout now i only let you cum if you answer a question correctly?” you gulp, you sure were in for a long afternoon.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rvzcvx]

HEYYY i dont really fanfictions but idk,I really liked one of your fanfictions ,is it possible to have a FanFiction with bill x m!reader Or reader non gender ?🎀 With 2005 bill cause he's my favorite Era,I want something cute and fluff cause he was 16..I just had the idea that bill and reader don't really understand it because like bill speak.german and he doesn't understand english and reader doesn't understand german😭!Afterwards for the rest I leave you free ideas! because I trust you

Love you🫶

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

pairing: 2005 bill x male reader

warnings: nothing, just fluff

a/n: im sorry for not posting for so long but i had to focus on school. i promise that i will try to post more often!! and btw i love you too, i hope youre gonna like what i wrote

I still couldn't believe it, I was sitting in the living room of Bill Kaulitz, my boyfriend, from my favorite band. It felt surreal, like a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

The room was filled with posters, CDs, and personal items that gave it a cozy vibe. Bill was in the kitchen, making us some tea. I could hear him humming softly, his voice always managing to soothe my nerves.

We met a few months ago after one of his concerts. I had been a fan for years, and the opportunity to see him perform live was a dream come true. I never imagined that I would actually meet him, let alone start a relationship with him. It was hard at first, with him speaking mainly German and me only knowing English, but we found ways to communicate.

Bill walked back into the room, holding two steaming cups of tea. He smiled warmly and handed me one. "Hier, für dich." he said, his accent making the words sound even more special.

"Danke." I replied, one of the few German words I had mastered. I smiled back at him, feeling a warmth spread through me.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, sipping our tea. Bill looked at me, his eyes full of affection and something else I couldn't quite place.

"You... like the tea?" he asked, his English slow but deliberate. "Yes" I nodded, "It's perfect, just like everything you do."

Bill blushed, a soft pink tint coloring his cheeks. "Danke, mein liebling." he said, reaching out to take my hand. His touch was gentle and reassuring, a silent promise that everything was going to be okay.

We had learned to bridge the gap between our languages with gestures, smiles, and a lot of patience. Bill would teach me simple German phrases, and I would help him with his English. It was a process, but one that brought us even closer.

Bill set his cup down and moved closer to me on the couch. He pulled me into a warm embrace, and I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of his breath. We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, letting the unspoken words fill the space between us. His arms around me were my safe haven, a place where I felt completely at home.

After a while, Bill pulled back slightly, just enough to look into my eyes. "You... make me very happy." he said, his English improving day by day.

"You make me happy too, Bill." I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "More than you'll ever know."

Bill's smile widened, and he leaned in for a kiss. Our lips met in a soft, lingering kiss that spoke of all the things we couldn't yet say in words. When we finally pulled apart, we were both breathless, but content.

He wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me close. "Ich liebe dich." he whispered into my ear. I had learned that phrase early on. "I love you too, Bill" I replied.

As the evening turned into night, we continued to talk, laugh, and simply enjoy each other's company. It didn't matter that we spoke different languages; what mattered was the love we shared and the bond that grew stronger every day.

By the time we decided to call it a night, I felt more connected to Bill than ever. We climbed into bed, cuddling close under the warm blankets. Bill held me tight, his presence a comforting weight next to me.

"Gute nacht , mein Liebling." he murmured sleepily. "Goodnight, Billy." I replied, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

As I drifted off to sleep, I knew that whatever challenges we faced, we would face them together. Our love was stronger than any language barrier, and that was all that mattered. In Bill's arms, I felt at home, loved, and understood. And that was a feeling that needed no translation.

[heart2beom]

second lead syndrome

pairing: taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff, just tons of fluff

synopsis: taehyun, your neighbor, has been helping you out with beomgyu, the best friend you've been in love with for your entire life. when you finally score a date, albeit taehyuns plan working, you're in crisis.

because you start getting second thoughts.

warning: purposeful wrong tagging for more reach. sorry babes im greedy 😭 though i dont specify pronouns, this is more fem leaning!!

notes: i wrote this in only an hour, not the most quality work but i had to release something for my favorite man's birthday hello????!?! also was listening to this is what falling in love feels like by JVKE on repeat, if that helps with the reading experience. i have no idea if it does. lol as always, reblogging will help the algorithm pick this up so as a content creator, ill love you for it.

you were extremely fidgety as you looked at yourself in the mirror -- this was the fourth outfit you've changed into. you slightly chewed on your bottom lip, furrowing your brows together thinking...none of this felt real, that was one thing you were sure of. preparing to go on a date with beomgyu...it's like dying and actually walking up the stairs of heaven.

the man that was all your firsts yet, felt like a distant, unachievable dream. the man that makes you go to sleep with the biggest smile, and the man that makes you kick your feet, squealing into your pillow even after long graduating high school. he felt just like a celebrity crush. a celebrity crush, someone you'll never ever have the chance to date.

that is, until taehyun moved in next door. you heard rumors from the old ladies at the apartments' lobby that he was a genius, a young einstein if you will, graduating seoul university with top marks.

you don't know what, but something possessed you to go knock at his door's flat, pushing a welcome basket of bread in his arms, saying word for word, "teach me how to make a guy fall in love with me". of course, you managed to squeak out a please for politeness sake.

it was the built up desperation, you guessed looking back. but despite thinking highly of taehyun's mind, you never expected whatever voodoo steps he made up to actually work. sure, it took...what? like, months and twenty bucks every now and then, but it worked.

you turned away from your mirror, looking back at the man occupying your bed, cocking your head to the side.

"what? are you feeling like you're dreaming again?" he asks, mirroring your action. "want me to pinch you?"

you exhale, exhausted. "i need to change."

which taehyun sat up straight to, "again? i already told you, you look pretty."

you roll your eyes to that comment. maybe getting a man to help you prepare for a date wasn't the brightest idea you've had, though, you aren't particularly known for having bright ideas anyway.

"i need an honest opinion, but you just keep on saying oh you look good, oh you look pretty" you mock, deepening your voice to mimic taehyuns'. before he could retaliate, you add "and it's not helping, at all."

it was silent for a while, until he folded his arms,"you want me to give my honest opinion?" he asked. and you nod, frantically at that.

"brutally honest, hit me with the straight, cold facts." you say, preparing yourself by straightening your shoulders.

"well, for one" he starts, to which you take a deep breath at anticipation, "you'll never make it on time for your dream date. that's one fact."

you groan, walking in your stupidly long heels to sit on the edge of your bed, next to taehyun. "okay, well, that's a given at this point. give me something else."

"and you're incredibly, weirdly nervous for a movie date with your best friend. that's another fact." he had put his phone face down next to him, now with his legs crossed, as he looked out for your reaction.

"taehyun." you drawl, beyond annoyed.

"what?", he asked innocent, like he wasn't just taunting you. all you did was give him a death glare, which earned an airy laugh from him.

"alright, i'll be serious now, i promise." he said, scooching up to sit directly by your side now, his legs touching yours with how close he was.

"starting with your face— don't get mad, you asked for this." he warned with a raised finger, which made you nervously gulp. did you really look that bad? you nodded to reassure him to continue anyway—you weren't going to risk going to this date looking bad.

"your eyes; the glitter, though it helps pull your whole look together," he makes a hand gesture, your breath hitched in your throat, as you nodded for him to continue "it's dull when you compare it to your eyes."

you furrow your brows, incredibly puzzled. "what does that mean?"

"your eyes shine more" he said with a cheeky grin, your mouth left agape at his playfullness.

"glitter doesn't shine. you..you suck at flirting." you said hitting his shoulder, letting out an unbelievable scoff.

he fauxes hurt as he rubs his shoulder, "this isn't flirting, i'm being very honest right now!"

you roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. "mhm"

he shrugs, "i'm not going to continue if you don't believe me."

"okay, okay. i believe you, continue kang."

"alright. so, your brows," you nod. "perfectly trimmed, which..." he leans closer to your face, his thumb grazing your eyebrows. you didn't expect the sudden closeness, so your breath was hitched, stuck right in your throat. "which is good. there's no little hairs in between, or surrounding them."

he moves away after what felt like a whole hour, in reality, was just a few seconds. only beomgyu ever got that close to you — that's your justification for your heart quickening at the proximity. you just got reminded of beomgyu, that was it.

"going well so far." you breathed out, finally being able to talk.

"yeah? told you you don't look bad." you narrowed your eyes. "taehyun. you're not doing this just to say i told you so are you? that's, like, cheating!"

taehyun sighed. "y/n, do you think i'm trying to sabotage you or something? i'm not. i'm not praying on your downfall, i'm being honest."

your previously furrowed eyebrows turned into pleading ones, filled with insecurity. "yeah?"

"yeah." you looked up to see his eyes. they always calmed your anxiousness, you found that the eyes are the doors of the soul saying couldn't have matched anyone more than it did taehyun, you knew everything just by looking at them. and this time, when you looked at them, it was almost overwhelming how they looked back at you with such softness — sincerity.

so overwhelming, your heart picked up at a faster speed, once again. what was up with you?

"okay, now, your lips," and again, his thumb. the one responsible to all of this. it was on your lips, going back and forth on the bottom one, then facing it to his eyes. he looked a bit taken back, kind of shocked.

"what?" you ask with your brows raised. he turns his thumb to you, with an amused smile spread on his face, "there's no red."

you let out an airy laugh, he was way too cute. "well, yeah, it's a no smudge matte lipstick. it's impossible to get off without makeup wipes."

"huh. then, that's good. you can kiss beomgyu without it being all messy." you nod slowly to that. "hey, on that note, refrain from giving me details about the kiss... if it happens."

you're quick to retaliate with a scoff. "it will happen, why won't it happen? it'll happen!"

he shakes his head, which earns an offended expression from you. "i'm just saying, you're the biggest coward i know."

"you're the biggest coward i know." you replied immaturely.

"i'm going to...i'm going to ignore that lame comeback and pretend it wasn't awful." he said, taking a look at his phone. "it's about to be ten...are you feeling less..insecure?"

you look at your heels, then back at him with a smile. "think so, yeah."

when you finally lock your door with keys, taehyun hovering over your back, you turn to him chirply. you're ready, you're ready to go out with beomgyu.

"so." you started, looking up at him, a large smile on your face. "thank you, taehyun. seriously. i know it was kind of weird at first, like you know, spending a lot of time with a stranger but to be completely honest—"

"it wasn't." he interrupted.

"huh?"

"it wasn't weird spending so much time with you."

"oh—well, uh" again, taehyun catches you off guard with his aloofness, making you stutter like an idiot, completely forgetting your monologue.

it didn't help that taehyun somehow was closer than you thought, way closer than the usual arm length. seriously, what was up with the proximity?

when you catch a glimpse of his eyes, it was again, so soft, waiting for you to say something. then, when taehyuns hand found its way tucking a strand behind your ear, you couldn't hear anything anymore. your heartbeat was magnified to your ears, despite seeing that his mouth was moving, saying something, you couldn't focus.

he waved a hand at your face, and you refocused again.

"think you should go now, love of your life's blowing up your phone."

"um—um yeah" you stuttered, waking up from your thoughts. "it's probably beomgyu" you muttered, smiling weakly.

"yeah," he chuckled a little, and god, was it so fucking cute. "thats why i said love of your life."

it was weird how you didn't catch that, you've always been referring to beomgyu as the love of your life, especially with taehyun.

you watched as he unlocked his door knob, looking back at you with his eyes twinkling a little under the dim hallway lights, "don't get nervous, you really do look pretty."

then he was gone, cruelly leaving you with one thought as you looked at the texts from the contact name, 'love of my life'.

you weren't ready. you weren't ready to go out with beomgyu. at all.

ending a/n: soooo how we feeling? cute? cute? readers so starstruck by taehyuns eyes and im just like..yup, same. me. this was originally apart of a very long fic i was working on, but that was scrapped, so..lol have this cute lil thing

[addicsvt]

Wait

Synopsis: In which dino tells you to wait but you can't anymore so you spill everything out in a very messy drunk confession. tags: fluff and a bit of angst? pairings: lee chan x reader A/N: im writing this a day before but by the time i release this fic it would prob be around 2pm my timezone? well anyways dont forget abt lee chan's solo!!!! make sure to go stream at 6pm kst!!

In Chan's defense, he never knew how bad of a drinker you were. He should've known better than to accept your eager invitation to drink at a bar for your 21th birthday. But we all could regret decisions later. So now here he was, in your apartment, somehow, with your head rested on his lap.

It should've been a miracle on how he even made it here with your stumbling figure threatening to fall at any time, while he grabbed your hand to sling it across his body. A horrible idea indeed.

"you good?' He asked as you both made it to his apartment as he helped you take off your shoes.

"mmh.. want more." You replied and poor chan was trying to figure out what you wanted, since he was usually the one always getting taken care of when he was drunk.

"want more what? y/n?" He asked before placing you on the couch.

"want you.." You muttered barely being able to open your eyes.

"w-what?" He asked taking a seat beside you as he moved your head from the couch to his lap.

"want you chan.." you said as tears started falling out of your eyes. Great, an emotional drunk.

"hey hey, dont cry, i'm here." He said using his thumb to gently swipe off the tears on your face trying his best to comfort you.

"dont wanna wait, wanna have you" you muttered out sobbing as dino tried to hush you like you were precious.

"channie, remember the time you asked me what i wanted for my birthday? I think i know now." You said trying to choke back tears.

"and what is it dear?" He replied unconsciously blurting out the petname.

"you chan. all I want is you. I can't wait, I need you." You said sobbing as he comforted you, stroking your hair as he placed a soft kiss to your cheek.

"you already have me baby." He whispered into your ears leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

"want you forever and ever.." You muttered before finally drifting off.

"ill always be yours." He said smiling as he saw your sleeping form rested on his lap. He quickly set you down gently as you grumbled feeling the hard couch instead of chan's lap.

"its okay baby, im getting you a blanket." He said gently as he went to his room grabbing his blanket and placing it on top of you as he snuck back onto his original position.

"sweet dreams.." he said before falling asleep himself. Yep, he was definitely going to save the awkward conversation for tomorrow.

[thomatri]

Not my bully(enemies to lovers)

Synopsis- Tsukishima is a rude person. But if a rude person then why is he lokey hot

Paring - Tsukishima x Reader

(Apart of a little series I’m making. I’m writing different types of romance genres with Haikyuu there’s gonna be like 8 of these)

——————————————————————

“I can’t believe that Tsukishima ! I mean seriously what gave him the right to be an ass hole to Shoyo?!” I say to my best friends

“Are You mad because he’s mean to Hinata or are you mad because he’s mean to Hinata and he’s hot” my friend Kiyo asks sipping her juice

“Drink your damn juice and hush” I say rolling my eyes not wanting to even think of that

“Wow y/n falling inlove with your brother bully that’s low” my other friend An says snickering

“IM NOT INLOVE” I say groaning

“That’s something an inlove person would say” Kiyo says snickering

“You guys are cut off my only friend is Mio now” I say hugging Mio and she just smiles

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My next class is orchestra which I have with Tsukishima sadly. Actually I have like all my classes with Tsukishima, I’m just in denial

We sit in our chairs and tune our instruments. Somehow Tsukishima is first chair violin while I’m third chair cello. We’re first years how does he even get first chair

“Alright everyone base will count” Tsukishima says. I know cello usually doesn’t count off but still I feel like he’s targeting me

Shit I missed my cue

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“Pft maybe if you’d stop staring at me you’d not miss your cue and sound like an idiot, your lucky I didn’t call it out” Tsukishima says snickering packing his violin up

“Whatever I wasent staring I was looking at the very motivational poster behind your big ass head” I say rolling my eyes walking away

We sadly walk together because we’re going to the same class

“Dang staring at me and now stalking me geez y/n you must really like me” Tsukishima says snickering

“I DONT LIKE YOU”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why don’t You Like me?” Tsukishima asks and I can’t lie it caught me off gaurd

“Uh cause you’re an ass hole” I say obviously

“Why don’t You Like me?” I ask and now it’s his turn to look caught off gaurd

“It’s not that I dont like you” He says and I’m confused

“Ok then what is it?”

“I don’t know ok?! I feel like it would be weird if I was just nice to you ok?!” He says and I’m shocked at his out burst

“That’s weird” I say and he rolls his eyes

I try not to think about the interaction too hard as we walk to class and even after

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As me and Tsukishima exit the classroom Tsukishima and I head to our respective clubs

“Your in art club?” He asks and I nod

He kinda stands in the doorway for a second

“Are You gonna come in or…?” I ask and he shakes his head softly

“My bad I actually have practice” he says sheepishly which I hate to admit is kinda cute

“Oh What do You Play?” I already know the answer to this question of course since he did bully Shoyo

“Uh volleyball” he says and I nod

“You know my brother plays volleyball” I say and he perks up

“Who’s your brother” he asks

“Hinata Shoyo” I say smirking and he immediately apologizes and I bust out laughing

“It’s fine, If im being completely honest I didn’t like you at first because you were rude to him” I say and he stares at me with a unreadable expression but it dips

“Oh well I guess I’m sorry…can we start over?” He asks and I can’t help but smile, maybe Kiyo and An were a little right. Not that I’d ever tell them that to there faces

“Of course Tsukishima” I say gathering my art supplies

“Though I have to ask” he says and I perk up

“Why were you pissed off at me because of your brother” he asks and now I’m ticked off again

“Because I hate seeing people crush his dreams. No matter how impossible or insignificant people tell him his dreams are” I say prepping my canvas

“Hm” he says rolling his eyes

“Clearly you have no heart” I say glaring at him and he smirks

“Maybe” he says

“What about you, what’s your dream” I say starting to paint

…

I look up at him and he’s looking away

“I don’t have one” he says shrugging

“What about you” he asks

“Hm id say being an artist though I’d probably pick up a corporate job to fund it at the start” I say

And he nods

“By the way volleyball practice isn’t today it’s tomorrow” I say painting

He looks shocked but relief immediately as I tell him

“Guess I lost track. Talking to you makes me feel like it’s just the two of us” he says making me shocked but I try to hide it and continue to paint

“Where’s eveyone in art club?” He asks

“Art club was canceled but I wanted to start on this painting” I say and he walks in the room fully standing behind me

“Is that?”

“Don’t worry I’m going to blur the face but I want to paint it first” I say and he nods

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Tsukishima offers to walk me home. I usually bike with Hinata but I’ll take the bus

As I go to cover my painting with a sheet I take one last look

The painting is of a boy my age in school uniform. Headphones around his neck. Short blonde hair. And hazel eyes

I cover the painting and turn off the art club painting light

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