#i dont even write in Italian.. anymore

[moomoorare]

I actually drafted the first 3 chapters of my Scales of fate au on a03 last night, so ... Well te heeh...

I'm gonna review and add art I think but like I have soooo many things planned and already so much art ready for it it's just been kept to myself because I second guess myself too much... IM DOING THIS TO HAVE FUNNNNN

[francy-sketches]

just randomly remebered a book series i read as a kid ok no actually i just read books 3 4 and 5 for some reason and there's like 6 but I was really into it for a while. anyway it was one of those geronimo stilton books but the stupid rat was not in them idk why they had his name on the cover they were actually kind of gruesome from what i remember. ngl they went hard they had cool little sketches in them too and there was this blue dragon with half a tail i loved him sm i was so upset when i couldnt find fanart bc nobody knew this book u.u I'm like 99% sure it was never translated so its just an italian thing but. any of my fellow italian girlies remember this. was I the only one to ever read it

[dayslynthesix]

i was thinking about it while i was listening to a podcast and ill give it a go, hope you enjoy this one because i love the idea, reader (whos gonna have a name because i cant write for y/n anymore and i dont know why is a redbull engineer who happens to have a podcast

Getaway Car | Charles Leclerc x podcaster!reader

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, she never thought that a job on the navy blue team would also give her a boyfriend. A boyfriend who used to drive for the infamous red team. A boyfriend who wanted so bad to be world champion but who could never won on that team. Everything started in 2022, middle of the season, pole and no win. And again. And again. And it started to get exhausting. Until Austria. Charles won on Redbull ring, and he thought it would be different. But it wasn't. As the season went on, Christian and the entire team were keeping an eye on his performance. RedBull offered a 2 years contract, they would pay him out of Ferrari, he didn't signed. But Charles had kept that contract in his drawer for the most part of the 2023 season, until COTA, and after that disastrous race, he called Christian, and that called lead to a meeting and a meeting lead to the Brazilian GP, who leads to the cover of all the sports magazine "Charles Leclerc signs with RedBull Racing for the 2024 season."

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, her podcast was already a success into the motorsport. The All About Racing was an informative podcast who almost every month received a new guest. The 2022 season was marked by almost everyone making an appearance on the podcast. Max, Daniel, Christian, even Lewis Hamilton agreed to be on one of the episodes - and it was one of the most streamed episodes of the platform.

When Charles and Anna started to see each other, during the 2023 Italian GP, he was yet under Ferrari contract, but every once in a while he made a comment here and there about wanting to be on the podcast. Once the 2024 season started, and Anna was designed as his race engineer, and he was announced as the second driver of the team, they made a deal, they would record the episode after the first race and it would be released after his first win of the team. Charles wasn't expecting to win so soon, but he claimed his firts victory at the Saudi Arabia GP, he won the race with 15s to second place. So the podcast was aired during the middle of the night, because a deal is a deal.

Podcast transcription:

Anna: Hello everyone and welcome back to All About Racing, just for a little announcement, this podcast was recorded on the march 2nd, right after the Bahrein Grand Prix and as you know, our guest for today episode is no one else but Charles Leclerc. Welcome, Charles, thank you so much for being here today. I know how it went, but tell us, how it went qualy and the race?

Charles: Hello Anna. Thank you for having me and lets pretending you had a choice on that *laughs* Qualy went very well for the team, first qualy with RedBull and we had a 1-2 for the team, Max did an amazing lap on q3, but I'm very happy with the results, the car feels amazing and I'm very proud of my lap as well. The race was very good as well, the car is incredible reliable and it felt amazing to be on that podium. Aiming the highest spot nex week

Anna: Im very happy to listen that the car feels nice, I spend a lot of time working on that project. Adrian Newey learned everything he knows from me. Jokes a part, I know your dream was to win with Ferrari, for your dad, for Jules, for your young self, so how does it feels to move to RedBull after 5 years with Ferrari?

Charles: I mean... it was a tough call. I always wanted to drive for Ferrari, win on the red car, put a flag in Maranello, and in some level I did those things, I won with them, I was very happy in Monza in 2019, and I had some very incredible moments with the team and the tifosi and all related. My dad would be so happy for me to drive for them, I wanted to keep Jules legacy alive and so far being compared to him is still the most amazing thing I could ever experience. But it came a moment that I knew that I couldn't do more than what I was already doing, the car was very difficult to drive and it didn't suited my driving style and a lot of bad stuf kept happening and slowly it was killing me, it was killing my faith in myself and I wasn't believing in me, or the driver I am. It hurt a lot the moment I decided to leave, not to wear red in Monza or not to recieve the tifosi love... I thought it was over, if I wasn't a Ferrari driver I thought I would be no one. And then Christian and I we talked and I signed that contract and I drove the RB20 and everything clicked, Christian let me do something that I don't think is pretty common, but earlier this year I went on a private practice with the last 2 RBR cars, and I remember, like, feeling the car and suddenly the driver I am was awaken again, and I felt my confidence again and it just made sense. After the announcement I was so afraid of what the tifosi would say to me and I was so surprised of the amount of love I kept receiving. Yeah, I am no longer a Ferrari driver, I was for 5 years and I loved being part of the red team, but it came a point of a driver career that we need to make the choices which are better for our inner driver, not just ourselves. And I am immensely happy with RedBull, with the car and the team and everything.

Anna: Wow, that was very deep, you and I we alredy had this same conversation but is still very warming to listen to all of that again and to know that you are happy with the team, we are also very happy with you wearing navy blue. You said you're very happy and all, but walk us through your relationship with Max and how beeing teammates is working so far. We are insanely happy that there was no inchidents on the race.

Charles: *laughs* Oh my God, you'll never gonna let go, are you? Max and I we became pretty close om track during late season of 2019 and of track in 2022, we spent a lot of time playing padel and tennis and alson on the sim. We drive pretty much the same way, so it is very easy for the team to build a car that suits us both. During the race today we spend solid 25 laps fighting for position, he is way more used with the car than I am, so he won that one, but I am coming for him next race, there was no incidents and I'm pretty positive we will keep this way. We work fine on track, and Christian made us swear that whatever happens on track, stay on track.

Anna: Well done. No more inchidents, I see. There's people making comments on twitter and instagram about teams orders and first and second driver... what do you have to say about it?

Charles: No team orders, Max and I are free to fight as long as there's no risk of compromising each others position or the team, if theresa risk whomever is faster will get priority and the slowest will defend. Choosing a first and second driver is very good for car development, but considering that our driving style is very close there's no need to chose in which direction the car will go, whatever suits Max will most likely suit me as well. Obviously, as the season will developing, if theresa risk or a driver coming very close in points, the one who has more point will get priority as well, which is fair. And Max and I we are definitely not allowed to pull a Baku 2018 or a Spain 2016.

Anna: As a engineer and e RedBull employee I was already very familiar with that. You seems to be very close to a few drivers, how do you think being this close to others drivers helped to improve your driving skills?

Charles: I didn't have the amount of teammates Lewis had, for example, but I was teammate with Seb for 2 seasons and it was such a great experience to learn from him, to be close, to see how he thinks and how he matches with the car and all of that helped me a lot on how I would connect myself with the car as well, I've learned to be patient, to trust my institution and principally understand how the car is working and how to merge with a car who does not suit me 100%. When I signed with RedBull I called my mom, obviously and Seb was the second person I've called and I remembered exactly what he told me all the years we raced together, to not to waste my talent. I'm very close to Lewis as well, we went surfing last year and we have a lot in common, as drivers and as human beings. Not ironically, Jenson Button was around during last year and we've spent some time together as well, I was trying to learn how to be more smooth and he told me not to do that, because the way I drive today is the way I've learned how to drive and that's what gives me speed.

Anna: Lately we all have been talking about woman in formula one, it is another of our conversations so i already know all your thoughts but the audience doesn't, so please, elucidate us with your thoughts.

Charles: I don't think it should have this separation between man and woman in motorsport, it is not like they can't tolerate the conditions of a track you know? I think with F1 academy we are miles closer to have a woman in F1 than we were a few years ago but we are also miles away from it. One, I don't think there's a lot of teams who would "take the risk" and two I think for the comments I've read online that it isn't fair for any woman to have to deal with that, you know? Not performing well is a shot in the ego and all this comments put together is harmful. I watch volleyball, it is a strange habit that I've developed with Jenson because his wife is a volleyball player and those girls are playing two and a half hours match, they're running all the court, they're jumping and throwing themselves on the floor and like the gym time? Insane. Tennis as well, there's a few matches that are hours long and they are playing high level tennis and tennis is a very aggressive sport... so like I don't think the "woman doesn't have the physical to formula one" because it is not true. F1 is still a very exclusive sport, especially if you bring sponsors and teams are not comfortable of letting money go, there's 20 of us, soon to be 22 or 24 if Porsche and Audi make it and there's nothing on regulation that prohibits woman in F1, it would be very nice if one of those new teams go for a woman line up. RedBull last year had a reserve driver who performed amazingly, it was like she could see physically the track, the lines and kerbs. I'm all for woman in motorsport, Max and I we went to a girls karting track in Germany during the winter break and they are very talented.

Anna: Race weekend after race weekend I saw people on twitter talking about how they think you are not a F1 champion material, how you should be more vocal about what you want... everything someone who never been inside a F1 car could tell about it. How do you keep you mentality strong? We all know that you can perform under pressure. You won in Monza with 2 Mercedes pressuring you, you won in Austria with a throttle issue. You won your F2 championship after your dad passed away, you kept going for Jules... that's all very different of the kinda of pressure every other driver suffered during their careers.

Charles: I mean, I don't have to prove myself anymore. I impressed who I had to impress, I won a F3 and F2 championship. I'm here. I'm driving a F1 car every sunday. I've won in Formula One, so there's no one else that I have to impress anymore. I'm not calling the team out on the radio during a race, I don't think that's how you fix things, and I think it is the kind of thing that you talk privately with your team behind garage doors. I'm the one who's driving, the team is the one who have tha data, the difference between the car in front of me and the car behind me, the window we have to pit, the tyres we can use and the omes that makes the car performs better. The team needs to have their best interests to maximize the points on that weekend. It is not my job to do more than drive. But one thing is for sure, I'm the one who's driving, who's feeling the car, and once I tell the team that pitting for hards is a bad choice and that we need to pit for medium, because I am feeling the car, and they don't listen to me, that's out of my hands. I'll take full responsibility for my own mistakes. Imola in 2022? It was on me. France 2022? It was my fault. I'll take that, I accept that and I'll learn with those mistakes and I will do better the next time. Just because I don't scream on the radio and expose the team to the media it does means that I will not call them out privately. And people talk about it because they are not the one who is inside that cockpit.

Anna: You've been doing your job brilliantly. Everyone who truly understands F1 knows that, you wouldn't be driving for Ferrari in your second year if you weren't a good driver. Or for RedBull, and God knows the amount of years we were waiting for this to happen.

Charles: It is happening now. And about my dad and Jules... I was doing my job, I mourned my father after that race, I've cried and I've missed him ever since, I kept going for him and for the legacy Jules was building in F1. I had to prove myself to them, and to my mom. People can say whatever they want to, and if they think they know more about strategy and power units and stuff they can apply to work in F1. I like the pressure. I think it makes me a better driver. Winning when there's no one challenging you it not my type of victory. I like being challenged, that's why I liked being Seb's teammate. He was 4 times champion of the world, he knew he was good, I knew it too, but he never backed down to a challenge.

Anna: I miss Seb. I think deep down we all miss him more than we let him see. Do you think that because of the challenges you and Max will perform better?

Charles: Max is coming for a season and a half without competition. He was winning with 15 seconds to the second place, and every time we fought wheel to wheel tha past season we talked after and it was such a thrill. Our driving style being so close makes it very possible for us to fight the way we like, so yeah, I think the pressure to perform well and the challenge to win Max will make me a better driver.

Anna: Do you have any funny story to tell us about?

Charles: I have one about you and Max. Fun fact, untill December last year Anna didn't knew how to drive. Max tried to teach her and I think that for the first time in his life he failed miserable. I remember trying to teach you how to drive and failing as well. But there's one day that is very clear in my mind. We just got back from Interlagos 2022 and we went to a small city in Sao Paulo so I could teach you and the car kept dying, so you stormed out of the car and called Seb crying, and you were crying so hard that I almost started to cry as well. We went back to Monaco, a few weeks latter Seb pulled out in front ou your house, Jenson Button as his co-pilot and they take the matters in their own hands and for a week you went out for like 5 hours and once that week was over you were a better driver than I am.

Anna: Well, asking you to teach me how to drive was a amateur mistake, you don't know how to park parallel. But yeah, Seb and JB they were excellent teachers. Thank you Seb. Thank you JB.

Charles: How did you have a drivers license if you didn't know how to drive?

Anna: Having a drivers license doesn't imply that I know how to drive, just that I've learned what to do to pass my drivers test. How do you drive a F1 car and doesn't know how to drive a manual?

Charles: I'm re learning, ok? You are the one with the eccentric taste for manual cars.

Anna: Obviously, it took me ages to learn how to reduce a gear, why would I drive an automatic if the automatic doesn't have to switch gears?

Charles: You have a point. And yet you are doing great on the automatics.

Anna: Let's move to my least favorite subject ever, personal life, people are wondering, is Charles Leclerc on the market?

Charles: *laughs* No, he is not. I'm very much out of the market, and very much in love with a beautiful and strong and smart woman and even though she's not the jealous type I not looking anywhere else.

Anna: Walk us through on how you two meet?

Charles: Yeah, it is very funny actually, we meet after Austria, 2022 but we only started to hangout after Monza last year, she's very into motorsport and formula one and a very private person, so please, let's respect that.

Anna: People on twitter are thinking that she is a ghost because we never saw her on race weekends, I'm inclined to agree with them, Charlie.

Charles: That's mean. And you have seen her on the paddock, a lot actually.

Anna: Some day, I'll be living in a big old city and all you ever gonna be is mean. God, I love Taylor Swift. But yeah, I saw her once ir twice, very nice girl, and pretty, very pretty as well.

Charles: Stop talking about yourself on third person, baby, is very weird.

Anna: Yeah, Charles, go ahead and tell the whole world our most deep secrets.

Charles: Anna... Lando and Pierre already told half of the grid and half of the grid is just pretending they don't know. We are not that subtle.

Anna: Well, okay, cat is out of the jail everyone, Charles is not single anymore, and it's not gonna be for a while. But let's go for the important topic: Taylor Swift.

Charles: Just that? Taylor Swift? What do you want me to say? *laughs*

Anna: Tell the people your favorite album and tracks. I already know them but that's my privilege.

Charles: Reputation, obviously. I like Our Song and Karma. You drive listening to them so I kinda like them too, and Champagne Problems... wow, that one hit hard and also Lover, because I am in love and ok, I like everything.

Anna: Okay, moving forward. Answer with the first thing on your mind. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Charles: Vanilla. Don't you ever think about cracking the joke I know you're thinking.

Anna: Ok. I wont. Favorite track?

Charles: Monaco. But I love Baku as well.

Anna: Interlagos?

Charles: Senna. I love Interlagos because it brings me closer to him as I could never.

Anna: Favorite movie?

Charles: The one with weddings and funerals.

Anna: Would you go out with me after we finish this one?

Charles: That depends, will you go out with me after we finish this one?

Anna: So guys that's it. Hope you have enjoyed this episode as much as we did while recording it. I think this one will be out way sooner than we expect. See you in a couple of weeks to go through the first 4 races of the season. Thank you, Charlie.

Charles: Thank you. See you guys.

*cut*

Anna: Stop tickling me or I'll call Max and asks him to blow all your medium tyres.

Charles: You could never.

Anna: Yes, I would.

Charles: Let's go, baby, I'll take you to dinner and after we can go karting with the boys.

Anna: Max is texting me so I can tell you to answer him.

Charles: Oh difficult life, my teammate likes me more than I think he would.

Anna: Don't tease him, he's lonely, he needs a girlfriend, how about we introduce him to Gia?

Charles: *hysterically laughing* Gia would crash him like a bug. Let's do it.

allaboutracing

liked by f1, maxverstappen, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, pierregasly and 324.177 others

allaboutracing and we are back!! welcome to season 3 of all about racing podcast, this season we're about to have a few special guest, we're gonna talk about all formula one related, analyze the cars, the races and the track - while i conciliate the races and the tracks on my full time job, i hope you enjoy this season as much as i did.

redbullracing full time race engineer and podcaster, well done mini.

maxverstappen1 im still waiting for my invitation

sebastianvettel well done, kid!

f1 adm is already on play with the firts episode

leclercsainz i love how she just went on and did a full podcast just for us to understand more about racing

jbuttonwdc i would love to see jenson button on the podcast

roscoeloveslewis remember when last season she said that she wanted to bring the champs for the podcast?

charles_leclerc im hoping to be on the couch as well

february 1st 2024

allaboutracing

liked by jensonbutton, sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, f1, charles_leclerc and 344.754 others

allaboutracing we are officially back. the first guests of season 3 are no more than the 2009 world champion jenson button and the 4 time champion of the world sebastian vettel. it was amazing to speak with booth of them, about racing, retirement, life and the changes that are happening in formula one. jb episode will be available on march, the 7th and seb will be available on march, 21th. hope you enjoy it.

lewishamilton great guy and than there's jenson.

sebastianvettel thank you for having me!

jensonbutton same time next week?

f1 that what we asked for

jbuttonwdc KA8SJSUQUWHAUAUHQGU IM NOT OKAY

beesebs i miss sebastian vettel more than i miss my parents and i moved away in 2017

alonsoxswift everybody moved on and i stayed here

sv5ismydad i cannot believe that she convinced seb to be on the podcast, anna youre my personal hero

february 16th 2024

picsbyanna

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracind and 175.234 others

annazadra break is over, time to go back in track. insanely anxious to this season and very excited about the car that me, myself and i helped to build

maxverstappen1 lets hope you didnt put a shitty box with 3 weels after the little prank i pulled you

charles_leclerc lets go vroom vroom

redbullracing christian is calling you about something like "prank war"

danielricciardo i left redbull and now suddenly they have funny engineers again

comments on this post have been restricted

february 28th 2024

allaboutracing

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1 and 544.766 others

allaboutracing I've listening to you guys and i brought the monegasque favorite driver to the podcast. on the next episode we will talk about charles moving to redbull, what he expects of the team and the car, how he thinks his partnership will works with max, about racing on a general but we also want to know what you want on the podcast, so send you questions, se ya next week.

maxverstappen1 how can charles be on the podcast and im not?

allaboutracing max, you are so dramatic, you and the entire team have been on the podcast so far in season one

maxverstappen1 i want to go again

danielricciardo thing you can say during sex as well

maxverstappen1 this girl is taken, stop that

charles_leclerc it was a pleasure to talk to you, you were a wonderful host.

f1 next week? please, don't do this to us 🥲

march 3th 2024

redbullracing

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, allaboutracing, picsbyanna, lewishamilton and 877.265 others

redbullracing charles grabbed his first win with the team at the jeddah grand prix, well done charlie, we're insanely proud of you! ps: the all about racing: inside of charles leclerc mentality is out earlier to celebrate his victory, go listen to it.

picsbyanna wow, is he single?

march 10th 2024

[franciskirkland-deleted]

I had to ramble because Antonio is indeed a hard character to write. He's both awful and amazing

PLEASE RAMBLE are u kidding me. rambling is never not welcome this is rambling central. i am nothing if not the village idiot here to rant and rave, if anything u should apologize for enabling me xx <3

this little fucker needs to be trapped in a jar and studied under a microscope... i need to Understand him... he compells me against my own will... he's like a bull who's been castrated.

as a nation-being-person, he's oddly youthful even in comparison to younger nations. he's old as dirt, older than france actually, and still not as mature which is not setting the bar high. he's passive-aggressive and vengeful, but also extremely influential in a positive way? like western society without spanish culture would be so dull.

he's someone who was once immensely powerful but rly isn't anymore and has become, for lack of better words, irrelevant? never to me, but i have literally met grown adults who did not know spain was a country (let alone portugal) i wish i was kidding rn. as a History Enjoyer i can't ignore the fact that spain has a dark past, responsible for everything from colonial imperialism in the 15th century onwards, to brutal fascist reign throughout the 20th century. like tbh, he was once on par with england for being the Worst re: colonization, genocide, exploitation etc. in my honest opinion - while france as an imperial power did some awful shit particularly in africa - england, spain, portugal and the netherlands are by far the worst.

buuut with that all being said. i mostly write human au and i do tend to keep irl tragedies at a distance, while their personalities are still influenced by historical events, at some level ig.

as a human, he's just as complex. he's a fuckboy. he's a himbo. he's a loser (affectionate) and sometimes a loser (derogatory). he's Catholic and debilitatingly homosexual. he's passionate. he is... devastatingly sexy. he is kinda wifey, ngl. he's also kinda socially incompetent but gets away with it bc of his looks. perfect smile... sexy accent... fat ass... grrr i am squeezing him like a stress ball... i have written him as everything from a total manipulative creep to a bumbling fool who just wants his papi. like look at him... if he told me he was just a caked up white boy who never did anything wrong i would believe him... and im italian so he would bear my children.

you can pry my canon divergent spamano from my cold dead hands. pelt me with rotten tomatoes in the town square i dont care.

the bottom line is, spain has no business being this cute, but some way, somehow, he is, so imma go with it ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount]

I almost forgot that I was a Magica De Spell blog so

New Magica story next week. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Im not sure what to think of this tbh. Cause this seems like its going to be a gag story. De Feo hasn’t even written a single 30 pager yet I believe. And like cool, sick. Shorter stories of Magica just goofing around like in the golden age of Sarda (golden age is probably too dramatic but it sounds nice) is great. But i also kind of wanted the big long Magica stories trend to continue too

If were only having 1 or 2 Magica comics each year i’d rather not have it be Amelia e l'in$olito depo$ito you know what i mean.

I hoped that with seven volcanic witches we would finally slowly see her character evolve past the dime.

In I TL 3451-1P and I TL 3454-6 the dime wasnt the main point of the story anymore. That was cool and the stories were good as well.

Then we got Gastone lo sfortunato

Which (while disappointing for poor Magicstone shippers) again was showing us that she might slowly be realizing what is actually important for her. That these lessons would be repeated until it finally hits and she gets to move on.

Btw on the Egmont side, writer Gaute Moe seems to really try this as well. He has made like 5 stories about Magica who gives up on the dime and often just gives it back. Not even out of solidarity like in older Italian stories but just because she feels bad. It’s a bit silly but i respect it. Gaute Moe is our hero for Magica characterization at Egmont okay? He tries his best to keep up with Italy.

Oh yeah Italy. The lampada bisestile had really great Magica use and had zero dime mention. Then the PK story was pretty bad. Now we have seemingly a gag story about a scheme for the dime so like ehhhhhh im not sure what to think of this.

Yeah i managed to write this much about a single title and one name. I needed to do something for all the not posting about Magica ive been doing lately.

Anyways this is just speculation maybe De Feo will blow us all away with his gag. I shouldnt assume anything. Thats bad. Im gonna assume that its gonna be good. Wait no i mean. Im not gonna assume anything. I jist wanted to talk about recent Magica developments. New Magica story next week. Lets just get excited about it. There is no reason to assume that her development is not gonna continue what am i saying. Also i know that 7 volcanic witches gave her a better reason to keep going after the dime but also it didnt at the same time so like i dont know.

Franzò is gonna give us good art for sure.

[rigelmejo]

Sometimes I wish to study Spanish, or Italian. (And Spanish I would probably use more... Italian would be nice for talking to cousins, but also many of my cousins learned english so they do not need me to speak italian...) or maybe Russian. But the last time I studied Russian I was dating someone who's family all spoke it, so I needed those basics to know what their family and roommates were saying and to help babysit their baby brother who knew poka! And objects and not much else. I don't need those anymore and quickly forgot the little bits I knew since I don't hear it daily like I used to...

And then I think, well, I learned enough French to read. If I really want to put hundreds of hours into a 3rd language again... it would be most effective to just work on my French listening skills, and speaking/writing skills. But there's no pressing reason to speak/write french right now. Sure, if I wanted a job in certain places I'd better learn that. But for now, all I do with french is read, and I can read what I want, so I dont really have a pressure pushing me...

(I can read nonfiction spanish too, and there's not really a pressing need to learn more spanish, except for that I DO have some spanish language shows, musicians, and novelists I would probably enjoy understanding more if I did learn. And there's a lot of online spanish posts I'd like to understand.)

But also it's like... you know. The reality is we only have so much time in a day/week/year. And splitting time even More means slower progress in Every goal. And it's probably for the best to NOT split down into even more goals until there's more time for new ones. (Says I, the workaholic trying to Be Less of one, who is always juggling way too many goals lmao)

I guess my point with all this is just. Everything is so cool. It would always be awesome to understand more. Hate that our time is so limited. :c

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

look, i get wanting to include a language you speak in your work or wtv but respectfully the random untranslated swedish bits feel out of place and like a swedish version of a koreaboo. im honestly not surprised ur from the us bc that does feel like smth ppl from there would do. amyways what im trying to say is they disrupt the flow and feel awkward, even if you can understand (most) of it. it usually only works if the character whose pov youre in doesn't understand either and thats part of the plot and gets revealed later on :/ hope you dont take this as hate or anything! have a good one

Bestie, how else would I take this other than hate?

I really try to be nice on here, but I am so goddamn flabbergasted by the sheer audacity some people seem to have.

I don't really leave random untranslated Swedish bits in my work? Not bits that anyone doesn't already know: "nej" "jag älskar dig" "lillebror/brorsan." If I do leave longer parts, I put the translation at the end of the work/chapter. And I'm far from the only person who does this. Half of the young royals fics have Swedish in them. It takes place in Sweden. Are you sending this to every fic writer? or just me?

It really shouldn't make much of a difference to you. As you said, I speak the language. If I want to put it in my writing, I damn well can. I can also put French in my fics if I want. German. Italian. Any of the others. I write for me.

"im honestly not surprised ur from the us bc that does feel like smth ppl from there would do" What does that mean? You don't know anything about me. I was born and raised in the United States, sure. Does that mean I cannot appreciate any kind of outside culture? Sorry, I'll just call up my Swedish grandparents and tell them I can't come over anymore. Then I'll call the Welsh ones and tell them the same. I wouldn't want to become too obsessed with a culture I was born from. My bad.

Anyway, you sent this on anon so I hope you know you're a coward💜

[tonberry-yoda]

Dude

I dont think my obsession with Gyro is a joke anymore even MY PHONE IS ALL ABOUT HIM

My silly little

Silly little Italian guy

Is this healthy.

Anyway Diegosaur #1 Gyro fan real Gyroist till i die

if Gyro has 1000 fans im one of them

If Gyro has 100 fans im still one of them

If Gyro has 1 fan its me

If Gyro has no fans im dead rip Diegosaur

Yippee🦖

OMFG LMFAOOOOOO

no i dont blame you at all though because gyro is SO FINE DUDE

im glad i have a fellow gyro lover so i have an excuse to write for him lolol

i will always be a fellow gyro lover <333

[yuyutzii]

HHIIII

HAI I'm Yuyu (that was just a nickname but people use it more than my real name so yeah) and tbh I have NO IDEA on what to do on this profile :3

Things you need to know about me:

I'm a really proud and hopeless romantic lesbian

I'm Italian and I hate Italy bc yes

I am a bigass science and music nerd

And that's it, basically

Literally I have nothing to do with my life so when I'm bored I create ocs and I've gotten to the point where I have like 50?? I DONT THINK THIS IS NORMAL ANYMORE LMAAOOO...

I have A LOT of AUs (canon and fanon) and a thing about my characters are that if they're not perfect in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL, I go crazy LITERALLY everything has to make sense as if they're a canon character..

I'm dumb asf so I'll just write down my ideas, lores and random facts and MAYBE if people'll like it (impossible) I'll explain even more! I don't write or do 18+ things abt them bc I found it EXTREMELY DISGUSTING NO OFFENCE

[fictionfixations]

oc-insert

resigned to never writing multi-chaptered and naruto fics because 1. procrastination. 2. id say id need to watch naruto first to write anything about it, even if ive read an absurd amount of time travel fics, yknow?

so. uh. here. this is old. i dont need these notes anymore. so im dumping them here.

-----------------------------

the oc test: insert into naruto

no but seriously theres a stupidly large amount of more oc-inserts in naruto then any other fandom ive seen and that might be because of dreaming of sunshine (finally succumbed and read it. its not bad but my first instinct is 1. not to read first person. 2. not to read female pov. but there was a really good naruto x hp crossover with female harry. and i just had to bite the bullet at that point aghh.) i mean. im not trying to be sexist with it. but i mean. ive read way too many male/nonbinary povs that im just used to it. two, i got horribly dysphoric over she/her, although its better now (i was just in a really bad place mentally) but since i avoided it, now i avoid it out of habit and sometimes f/m relationships make me cringe. and thats probably because ive always seen the really bad ones portrayed which whoops

anyway reinen!! my beloved oc who ive only written once (in khr) which is a crime and i should write more. he/they pronouns my precious …they're probably eccentric enough that they'd belong to a clan. their appearance, he usually has his eyes closed like ranpo from bsd (but can still see), and sometimes opens their eyes in moments of shock or seriousness or something something (they have golden eyes)

also they have white hair.

they're portrayed with tan skin cause i have tan skin (reinen was originally meant to be like an oc for me the creator instead of making it look like me like i had before. but then it became something entirely different lmfao. reinens not an author insert because they're nothing like me hehe) but i honestly dont care what color skin they have? i dont even mention appearances half the time cause i always forget to write it

naruto-sasuke-reinen

i know sakura gets bashed on a lot (and i adore bamf sakura) and seen as the weak link or 'civilian' but hgiuf

or maybe. reinens a hatake (Hatake Rei). younger then kakashi but maybe as a assistant sensei for team 7???

naruto vocal tics (is tics the right word?)

Kakashi: maa maa (well well)

Naruto: Dattebayo! (Y'know! or Believe it!)

Kushina: Dattebane? (Yeah?)

Sasuke: hnn. (hnn.)

I'm realizing I write 'yo' a lot as a greeting

alternatively is ciao, which might be because they're first introduced in khr. as someone with mafia ties. italian. yknow.

so now i just. kind of connect reinen with italian.. ;-;

reinen being more lean and flexible? graceful in a sense. i always think of them as a performer.

although. really good at T&I? well it's less torture and more on the interrogation aspect. leaning more towards.. kunoichi aspects. i think. (they're androgynous. think epel felmier from twisted wonderland because its pretty close in appearance actually) seduction probably. (where kakashi hides his appearance, reinen flaunts it probably [kakashi pointy hair, reinen curled hair]) scarily good at acting

conflict conflict like: kakashi: you shouldve been their sensei. reinen: no-- what?? kakashi: you're better. reinen: that's not… listen. they need you. i can help them on other aspects, but im not nearly as good at being on the frontlines. your team to me looks like they'll be a bunch of heavy hitters, and i cant do that. im not good at rushing in, that's not my fighting style. i get that you feel like you're broken, that you feel like you're going to ruin them. but listen. If you don't believe me on anything else, believe me on this. It's not about you. It's about your kids. So what if you 'don't deserve them' or 'you'll get them killed'? They don't have anyone else to turn to! And you know I'm busy with other responsibilities. I can't take over your job as sensei, because that's not my job. You were assigned that job and you better do it, or I swear Kakashi. What are you going to do when they die because you didn't bother to train them properly? 'You don't know how'? You have so many people you have connections to that would be willing to help if you just ask! I know Gai's had a team for a year, he'd be overjoyed to help. Or you could at least pull a few favors, I know you have a bunch of those to get other people to train them, but you can't just leave them in the deep end. That's the thing about responsibility over people. You don't do something, other people suffer. So get it together. you don't need to be perfect

Dammit, Kakashi, those kids love you already. They adore you! They don't need you to be the best, they just need you to be there. Okay? And. Maybe this is cruel. But you're not dead. They don't need you anymore. You know who does? The living people around you. That are breathing and moving. I get that maybe you won't ever feel over it, not really, but you can't prioritize them over the living. I think you should be there more often, okay? Let them know that you're first priority will always be them, not whatever they think you're doing while you're running late and still not appearing. Let them know they can trust you to be there for them. And if you can't, let them know. Indra knows those kids need an adult in their life they can trust.

(i cant find any naruto swears in place of stuff. in some uchiha-centered fics they use like Amaterasu! or Indra, i think, although im not sure how reinen would know it. but shut up i dont know of a person and i dont think god is valid here. …that is an oddly funny part. 'i don't think god is valid here'. hehehe..)

They need someone in their corner. You can be that person. Sakura has civilian parents, they wouldn't be able to understand her and she'd have no one to vent to. Maybe she'll go to you or me, we can't force her, but what we can do is make it clear she has an option. That she doesn't have to keep it inside, and that we have a lending ear for her. I can't be that alone because I won't always be free for them. I'm not their sensei, I can't excuse myself from work for them, but you can. I can't do it all for you.

Naruto has never actually had someone who'd be there for him, who'd listen, and maybe even do anything for him. I don't think he even knows it's a thing that people usually do for those they care about! Sure, there's Iruka-san but he also has responsibilities over other children, and honestly probably overworked.

The Sandaime? The hokage is meant to be unbiased.

He can't just take a break to care about some orphan nobody likes. He doesn't even stop by that often, no matter how much he probably wants to. Naruto can't rely on him to be on his side all the time.

You can be there.

Sasuke's lost in grief and anger. He hasn't had anyone to talk it through, to actually move past it. Everyone had been too worried about catching a rogue jounin, not about how traumatized a harmless little kid might've been.

…

he was left with the consequences alone. you know how that feels. remember? good ol dad was too disgraced, nobody wanted to clean the compound. you had to do it. scrubbing it off the floors.

wanna bet sasuke had to do the same? or maybe there were cleaners, but whose to say they didn't miss a spot or two? is it any better, in a place that was once filled with people, to be entirely empty? we moved for a reason sasuke deserves the same.

help him. i was too young, you did all the work then in finding somewhere else. if not opening up our home to him, then you could at least help him in the process. make it easier.

------------

wow thats long

[miamoo27]

Before I do anything I need to write this

This weekend "it" started again. I felt the guilt come on of not wanting to spend time with my family or anyone. It isnt that I dont like people, I spend time with people all week. At work, school and home I am constantly having to deal with others energies. I need a break most weekends from the constant rush of the week days. I liked to use the weekends to do work, smoke, crochet, watch tv and rest. But it seems whenever my mother or father is around it is hard to relax. I am sitting her exhausted from forcing myself to look "happy" for my mom when there is 10000 things on my mind and the only thing I want to do is be alone and smoke and vibe. By myself. I dont know if it is healthy but my energy is depleted. It is the constant need my mom has for me to be around her and my pressure I put on myself to give her the attention.

Our personalities clash. All of this is very hard for me to admit or write down. I have no excuse anymore my mother is a good person. It used to be her drinking so i didnt mind saying anything negative. But now I feel like shit. But I have to remember my feelings and these journals are anonymous.

My mother came from an Italian catholic family. Stranegly enough her mother was really successful and work herself to get a good job and go to get a PHD as an immigrant. Her father was um machismo, racist. I love my grandparents but its the truth. For some reason my mom never like questioned that her parents had negative world-views. I get it was a different time but my mom grew up in the 70s so it isnt that insane for her to question her parents values. But instead she let her parents values of gender, race and class affect her. They brainwashed her and she never had the freedom to question it. Despite my mom being similiar to her parents in that regard. I feel the complete opposite and knowing who I am now I always questionsed everything my parents, teachers or society told me. It was just in my nature.

My moms parents were mean to her as well. Throwing degrating comments at her like "shes a broad" "shes bigger" "You arent good at art." The last one shocks me, my uncle told me they told her that after she came home and asked my grandma why she never puts her paintings on the wall "Because your no good." Who knows if thats true. When I brought it up to my mom she didnt answer. I cant believe the grandmother that basically raised me acted like this. But I even questioned her.

Who knows I dont know if this is just her. Because similiar to my brother I know why her parents (mom) maybe had ill feelings about her or were testing her. My father likes me more. I know thats hard to admit. He loves all his kids I know that. But he likes certain ones in particular, espically the struggled story ones and the fighters.

My father worked insanely hard to get where he is. I can confidently say my dad is smart. Hes intelligent in a different way then i am but he works his ass off. I work my ass off. He struggled because of money I struggled beacause of my learning disability we both struggled and made it out successful. My father watched me year after year fight for my education and never stopped supporting me. I know I annoy him piss him off but I cant deny that I love my dad. Even the times when I wanted to never speak to him again after cheating on mom, drinking with her and being a poor husband. Which affected him as a dad he was not here. But he always managed to stick up for me. And call me out on bs.

So when he believed me when I said I got accepted to FDU. EVen though I got into the interview. I wanted to cry. My dad who usually only believes me when I am telling the truth is sticking up for me when I lied because I am embarrassed that I did not get in anywhere and did not apply to montclair. I hate it. I am so mad. I am so confused. I worked so fucking hard and I know how this work I know life is not fair but I worked so hard I earned this I got so many punches I need a win.'

Also i feel weird I lied. I know when I am lying. I been in therapy long enough. I just want to make evryone proud. Think I can do something like go to grad school. But is it really what I want? Do I really want to be in jersey? I have so many terrible memories here. I dont want to be around Nick or Andrys. I dont want to be around everyone thats done me wrong. Not that they are the only reason I need to go. ASAP.

I know I can do more than this I feel it. I am not content. Thats my issue I relax but feel fire in me. Maybe I am a sag. I have a restless fire alway even if I am upset. The only time it rests is if I am sick.

My blood pressure was high again. I know why I am a mess I am nervous without me knowing it anymore. I dont feel it as much. All the lexapro and adderall drowned me out to not even being aware of my own anxieties and issues. I think of smoking weed all the time. I hit my juul and drink coffee excessively even right now. I put on a happy face genuinely think positively but I am so aware it hurt me. I get bored so easly I stay away from people. I bask in my addictions and pleasures. I am fearful still of someone leaving. I have been hurt so I would rather be alone. I am not depressed but I am aware of life. I accept it but then I move restlessly about. THinking all the time. My mind does not stop.

I won though. I won when I told myself today I am going to do what I want. NOt what will make my family happy. Or what I want to do in order to make them proud. But to actually do what I want. I dont know what that is yet but I am planning on figuring it out at some point.

[chiyoso]

hiraeth! how are you doing today?

got a 59, 35, 42. 56 and 57 for your ask game.

it's a lot BUT I AM I N T R I G U E D

hehe! hey pretty <3 feel free to ask more, because i love intrigued people 🤭

35) favorite subject

i've ALWAYS, always had an affinity for music no matter what. i realized it late though, but because of my mom's wants of me being good at music in general, i developed a natural talent for teaching violin/piano in my own way that amazes her.

e.g. i helped a clearly struggling student of hers, and it was the day of the performance + we only had 1-2 hours of practice left, a piano student, she was having a hard time with counting the beats, and being on beat, having trouble with pacing as well, which i picked up almost immediately, and my mom was busy making preparations so she couldn't help. but i stood up and decided to because i just- idk? i really just wanted to help!

and i wasn't aware that this certain action of mine would lead to a successful performance, with a damn headmistress of a school offering me a free college scholarship because of my own performance + my sudden deeds

bam. (i think i overshared and retold my story about the free college scholarship lmao)

more info under cut! ❤︎

42) favorite books

hrm, i don't have a lot of books to read in this time now BUT

my favorite books growing up was diary of a wimpy kid (i swear i was so addicted to it, and i finished all books of it, PLUS THE MOVIE??? RODRICK??? OMG)

those fairy books i forgot the names but i think the titles were literal names of the fairies? idfk

bridgerton (cough) i'm a sucker for this genre

i can't think of anything else since i dont read much anymore, but i want to say that my favorite genres are; fantasy, romance, dark mature content (no, not 50 shades of grey) smut duh, sci-fi and i think thats pretty much it!

need recommendations... i wanna read some books where we flirt with some shadowy, dark eldritch horror or even the grim reaper himself (im so fucked omg)

56) favorite food

ITALIAN FOOD BABY, but i've been growing fond of uhh... chicken liver. i'm also really open to trying lots of things

ranking: most favorite

1. italian cuisine

2. fried japanese foods

3. korean cheese tteokbokki and tteokkochi

4. tbh convenience stores go hard too for my broke ass

5. philippines food

pizza reigns supreme.

...along with fries dipped in ice cream.

57) favorite animal

cats. any cat. (except for the furless ones im sorry)

cats remind me of scaramouche, lyney, neuvillette, blade and jing yuan so much, i wanna have a black cat along with a white one with gold eyes.

59) why i joined tumblr

now this... hrm

i genuinely forgot why i suddenly downloaded the app... shit.

dammit, i forgot. fuck. i just know i joined when me and my ex were at an all time low and the verge of breaking up.

i remember why i stayed and decided to write myself, i got inspired, heavily inspired and horny from the star rail fics i kept encountering, like my sexual drive just went through the roofs because of this certain welt yang x stellaron hunter blowjob fic, and some aspects of it, like welt and her not trying to get caught — my cynosure reader is inspired by that, doing lewd shit in secret.

and then i kept encountering fics, over and over. showering support to all which was so rejuvenating for my mental health, and then i encountered nat's al haitham fic, encountered you through my first story, and nat's mutual who guided me when i received anon little shits talking about my tagging lmao, yall were the three pillars that kickstarted my writing career genuinely

but if i can try harder to remember why i joined tumblr... i was uhhh, i was heavily depressed, dealing with my ex's shit, life, etc, and i was just mindlessly looking for something, anything, to give me energy, anything eventful for my overly draining situation.

that's all! ehe, ily aine <3

[commentaryaysehan]

I feel the dire need to write my thoughts but I did not bring my diary with me so here we are. I have been doing jackshit for the past month. Nothing of value except playing video games and house chores. It feels odd that in my first week of school, right before it, a huge earthquake happened. Without me even realising it. At around 4am…can you imagine the horror of those people…tens of thousands of them just…idk. I have sent some money to AFAD and the help is continuing, yet I feel like I am contributing nothing. I am doing nothing. It feels so weird that I feel no urge to make a move yet I feel constant guilt. Came to the shopping mall to just clear my head off and move around a bit u kno. But I still feel weird. I am bored out of my mind and I miss school. But the thing is I do not know what to say or what to do, I should probably text my friends to see how they are doing right now…man life is weird, as my friend said “life is fragile”. Yet my concern isn’t the people right now, for the first time I understand why some music lyrics say “I wish you were the queen, I wish I was a king”. It is the need of power so you can fix stuff. I have been playing Fallout 3 nonstop, there you have power, there you have the chance to change your environment but still it isn’t enough. There is this urge within me which asks for more than everything, some hunger that wants to control everything so everything can be perfect. But at the same time there is this anarchy, this need of chaos. Because I know nothing will ever be perfect, even if someone else made the chance of perfection, I’d be the one to disturb it. It really feels like that. Aah I don’t know…idk. I have been binging some punk stuff lately, I don’t like the music genre neither do I like every punk look. But the idea is there. But there’s nothing I can do is there? There is this romanticism that makes you feel like you can have control, but unless there is a unity, not single man can make a change. Unity and accumulation is the only way. And other stuff on my mind…like that American warship on our shores…the Greek warships on our coasts… we are not safe and we are not unified as a nation. We surely do not need fucking americans and brits sticking their noses to our wounds. They say history repeats itself but they never acknowledge the repetition. It reminds me of back then…the end of ottoman empire, beginnings of the republic, people questioning whether should our nation be under american/british patronage…can you fucking believe that? Why? Why would americans care about some poorly developed providences? Because they are right next to the middle east. They are on Mediterranean coasts, they are valuable spots for both trading and military operations. Since when those colonists think about our wellbeing? The last time they were on our grounds they tried to split our providences into bits and pieces, giving some land to french some to brits some to italians…and now here they are, forcing help. with fucking military aircraft carrier ships. On my fucking land. On the land where I learn naval engineering. Can you imagine? Military work never pays that well and you cannot leave it like that, you don’t get freedom. Thus I never thought of working for military. Plus the military guys are untrustworthy, tho they serve the country they are like leeches feeding off of the government. On the other hand the government isn’t shit. They deserve to be fucked over, they are even more corrupt. You know what they say, “water in sea money in government, one who doesn’t spend it is an idiot” Aaah ahh I don’t know I don’t know..I DONT KNOW SHIT, trust nobody, stay liberal, try to make friends…but god! God! How can one live like that? I have everything, EVERYTHING! I have shelter food water clothes knowledge money, what’s next? I want to be an engineer I cannot take this anymore. I miss my university. I miss the untroubled times. I miss when shit was less expensive…I remembered last night, oh how it pained me, I remembered middleschool and it pained me. Cannot believe I maxed out tumblr’s limit

[rubyss]

i cant even find any gifsets worth reblogging about this movie and all the decent ones include the part i hated the absolute most. my notes i wroted as i watched below the cutttttt

ok city of the living dead. watching it on the tv so sadly i have to see ads this time

oh so this is from flat 1980? which means itll be more like a 70s movie

digging this intro music. simple but niceys

THE PRIESTTTTTT

is this some hp lovecraft shit ?

tubi runs like shit on a tv

this woman looks like the twink from fear and hunger

oh the priest is being hanged i thought he was flying

wow not even 3 minutes in and we have a zombie and a title drop

oh the twink girl died

cant place what accent this guy has

he sounds dubbed in? this is a special edition so maybe he is

why is the detective staring at this womans lack of eyelids so much

oh this is an italian movie. maybe it is dubbed?

okay looking it up the movie does hold some inspiration from lovecraft. yay i was right but boo lovecraft

FUCKING BLOWUP SEX DOLL IN THE ABANDONED SCARY HOUSE?????? AND YOURE GONNA FUCK IT???????????

jesus thats a lot of gore. oh my god.

theres a lot of closeups on peoples eyes in this movie. is that a director thing or a date thing

i aint never had a beer that made me see ghouls or demons

they dont make doors with little diamond windows in em anymore. why not.

ohhh cuted kitty. wait why are we talking about incest.

i dont think ive seen a woman that isnt blonde yet. i see enough of those at work

why are you interrupting this womans therapy session to complain about your personal problems.

i dont know if a kitten could claw you that badly

TALKING ABOUT PORN AND EATING LUNCH OVER AN OPEN COFFIN?

they put a mirror in the coffin? interesting

im all for fuck work but damn just leaving someone half buried? rough

oh fuckkkkkk shes alive. well they kept showing her so i figured

this dude is stupid as fuck. hears banging and screaming from the casket behind me well whatever. bye.

i dont know if your fingers would start bleeding this quickly

she is wasting ALL of her air

oh is he going to dome her with the pickaxe

you KNOW SOMEONE IS IN HERE. BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL??????

oh its the sex doll guy. i forgot about him.

okay this isnt even a zombie thing this guy is just nasty. youre not even rotting dude you found those worms and gore somewhere else.

writes BOB in all caps and circles it in the middle of a graph i was already writing on

women will not be interested in sex and their boyfriends will say what the devil is wrong ????

cars love to not start its their favorite thing

GETS SO SCARED I CRY BLOOD

okay this might be like a demonic thing not a scared thing. EW WHAT IS THAT

oh they were REALLY obsessed with gore in these movies huh. christ this is a bit over much

stopped paying attention for a minute bc that was nasty. why did they name that kid john-john

aw god dammit is it gonna happen again. ok thank god. well we arent outta the woods yet but still

well THIS girl doesnt get a coffin mirror. so wtf.

is this kid gonna get got. john-john look out!!!!

okay no he just got scared. i also cant tell what accent he has.

this guys beard and hair look like theyre made of plastic

oh shit sex doll guy is still alive? i get surprised every time

CASUAL MISOGYNY LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

aw fuck grandma died

im tryin to have a drink can we not have anyone else spill their guts PLEASE

they NEED to make the woman seem like a hysterical freak who needs A Man to lean on. brother theres a living corpse in here.

my EVIL zombies that make my WINDOW EXPLODE and my WALLS BLEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they built the cursed town on the…. ruins? of salem? so i guess in this world salem was destroyed

a new woman who ISNT blonde! and sex doll guy is here too!

she put a blunt in her pants?

is this dude gonna drill a guy to death just for being in his garage. what a freak. NEVER go to massachussetts

i think you go to jail for doing this even to an intruder. you dont get to impale someone's head on a drill even if they were in your car

know theres other arlingtons around the country but im taking this one as a TEXAS MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i look away for ONE SECOND and theyre being pelted by. maggots ?

fuckkkkkk john-john look outttttttttt theres GHOULS

this is definitely the most interesting zombie theyve shown thus far. sorry about the third traumatic event in a row john-john

okay the music cut off was kinda funny

im getting bored i want hummus and crackers………………

ahhhhh we missed the TIME CONSTRAINTS and now the DEMONS APPEAR

fucked up how these things can kill you just by looking at you too long. they keep saying the people die from fright but fright doesnt do this shit to you.

everyone in this fuckin movie dies before their 50s

the wetted rat appears

this woman is so scared of fucking rats. people are dying in the streets.

people in this movie die and become half rotten INSTANTLY

oh the girl twink is dying again. this is like the third time this has happened for her. whatever.

nice stained glass tomb brother

theres not much dialogue in this end sequence. i think this entire movie could have had no dialogue and not suffered for it

STOP FUCKING CRYING BLOOD I SWEAR TO GOD

STABBED HIM THROUGH THE DICK WITH A CRUCIFIX???

cock destruction has eradicated ALL zombies. cbt is the anser

2nite we watching city of the living dead and this is already more interesting than slaughter high

[rylie-studies]

okay listen y’all it’s morning and my mind last night was being extra loud and enabled the whole universe that i’ve created in my head where i was lowkey with the love of my life in the serene countryside of italy and he sang me soft songs with his guitar and needless to say i didn’t get any sleep at all whatsoever like not even an hour so i’m now gonna be spending this whole day at home by myself catching up on sleep sometimes it really be like that folks

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum