#i dont even use tiktok much
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We really live in a day and age where TikTok is more prioritized than people getting k*lled 🤔
#US news#i dont even use tiktok much#but ppl really trying to get rid of it like aint other shit to worry about#like ppl really aint got better shit to do#ppl dying#an idiot bout to be reelected#I never despise a country more#going backwards#third world problems
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Seungmin saying they changed song by so it would be easier for people to watch and listen and then me seeing people going "Yes! It's good it's on tiktok and shorts now" and I'm like. Oh. You're all so fucking stupid <3
#half the videos were 10 minutes long#and i say this as an ADHD HAVER MYSELF#if you cant watch something that inst filled with bright colours yelling and childish humour#or a fucking tiktok length#like. well I have nothing to say to you actually highly doubtful you'd even read this far tbh 👍#like we'll never get anything more earnest and serious from skz again if things keep going this way#like the fact these no attention span people keep being catered too is so........... No#same with the songs- I complained about the songs all being fucking 2 minutes 20 seconds#like we all know its b/c of ig reels tiktok and yt shorts we all know this but Fuck who cares lets just go along i guess#i don't think people should watch stuff they are not interested in. i really don't.#but the amount of comments i read on those videos that were just so Nothing#no thought at all#idk like maybe try to listen to what hes saying and formulate anything outside of 'Omg best vocal best visual how many international fans?!#yk what i mean?#you bothered to watch it how about using your brain a little#also makes his whole Im Trying To Get A Moment in all the codes lowkey like.... yeah you pretty much do have to do that huh#like. they cant have down days or quiet days. Just be on all the time and be acting and funny all the time b/c thats all anyone wants-#so cool#there's no room for earnestness. no room for being a little thoughtful and serious. nuh uh#hopefully he does go back to explaining his thoughts after the tour but tbh I dont have a lot of hope for that :)
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🌸💖💝jelly artstyle stannis 💝💖🌸
#wanted to try the tiktok jelly artstyle but didnt feel like drawing hair. so#I hate this thing so much. stop looking at me#I feel like I didn't get it right I'm not used to blending so much#I dont even particularly like this style but I just have this need to learn how to do it
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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….
#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped#ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable#i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will#never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt#which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm#i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas#usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about#javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3#i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial#response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely#all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re#minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from#the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry#idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters#rdr2#image#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran#just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag#javieran#as normal though
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admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS
i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).
i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.
nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"
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i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.
i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.
i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.
i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).
but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.
but it wasn't worth the price for me.
so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.
ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?
of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??
in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".
anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)
anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.
#text#my art#doodle#sketch#sona#prince#cyclops#long post#HOLY SHIT THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED#sorry for the fucking rambling essay at 12am#tomorrow im doing cute commission art because its cute and i like that#i might one day share some of my fav vent pieces but for now its a bit weird#its also weird being open on any platform of mine not dedicated to being my personal blog#so im also very anxious abt that#but i wanted to try being more open and active on here too... so...#i hope this is ok#this isnt a vent either btw just me going on a ramble#i have been thinking abt it a lot the past year#also sorry for the many disclaimers#i am internetpilled and working on it#its funny cuz i dont even use twitter or tiktok which is commonly associated w the whole uh#people irl: hey whats up#kind of thing#i am very scared to share but i have a draft of this topic saved already like i do want to talk abt it#idk what i am afraid of so whatevs#also dont expect this much so anyone whos afraid ill be doing posts like this often#uh dont worry BSBDFBSD
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Why tiktok is more than a dance trend app.
And my own thoughts…
I’ve struggled with feelings of helplessness through the genocide in Gaza but tiktok has given us hope in the dark times. Through sounds and filters even those of us who were struggling financially ourselves were able to help. Watching videos all the way through to get them their lil payout, using sounds and streaming songs, playing with filters, it all accumulated to real tangible aid. When tiktok shop rolled out it became almost annoyingly omnipresent but activists found a way to make it work for themselves. Content on Gaza was not getting the reach it had been so they utilized the algorithim and used shop posts to get their message out to a wider audience as shop videos are given more push. They would advertise Palestinian owned businesses to generate larger cashflows to affected families and then donate their sponsorship money to charities delivering aid on the ground while giving updates on the crisis and other resources to help.
And they are ripping that support network away because they do not like how we are speaking or what we do when we assemble together. Through Operation Olive Branch and the TikTok intiative Pass The Hat i saw gfms that were stagnant be filled within a week or less, most of them well over 100k+ a piece. And when they met their goals the creators sponsored a new family and fundraised for them until that one was full. MILLIONS were raised for evacuation funds through tiktok.
We are STILL fundraising for them and the US gov is cutting us off BECAUSE OF THIS. AIPAC lobbyists were caught on hot mics saying tiktok needed to go because of our sympathy for the Palestinians. This ban, should it go through, will be inextricably tied to the Palestinian genocide in our history books.
#tiktok ban#us politics#free palestine#free gaza#us imperialism#tiktok#i dont known if people off tt even knew this was a thing going on#but my side of tiktok is all about mutual aid and manipulating the algorithm and the functionality to meet the average persons need#we boost videos to get people their payout from the app#i hear ‘please stop just watch to the end’ And I’m there cause i know our 1min of attention can accumulate into real blessings for people#i can’t believe they want to take that away. i can’t believe they want to render us powerless like that#i’m enjoying the xiaohongshu migration but i am also so so sad about what we could be losing#this app has done so much good for so fucking many#tiktok when utilized as the tool it is is a force of change and they hate it#tiktok aint never put features behind a paywall#they pay you in fact for using it and having a following#even if you just talk about stuffed animals or a very specific kind of bottom feeder fish#or one discontinued shade of yellow crayon#they changed our economy and the ways in which we can help each other and they want to take it away i truly fucking hate it here#us government#save palestine#save gaza#save tiktok
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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Uhhh . I just wanted to ask if u were okay with reposts on other social media platforms? Cause I just saw one on tiktok and though it DID give you credit . I just wanted you to know just in case you were unaware 😬
Agh, thanks for letting me know. I have mixed feelings about it. Honestly for my fanart if people asked for permission first (+added the credit and made sure not to crop out my signature) I'd be fine with reposts (though it does make me sad I don't get to directly see peoples reactions and interact with them) but I wasn't reached out to at all, so I am a little unhappy to hear this. It's credited though, so whatever, its fine I guess. Could you send me a link if you still have it?
#I dont use tiktok all that often because its too easy for me to get sucked in#but I have been thinking I should probably make an art account so I have something to point to there even if I dont end up posting much#just because its such a popular platform#anyway thank you again for letting me know either way#really appreciate it#asks#also this only goes for my fanart#I dont know how I'd feel about my oc art being reposted#thats a bit closer to home for me#press a to skip
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just saw someone call skk nonbiological siblings....
#horrible day to have eyes#i dont even use tiktok that much and the stans there haunt me#I SAW THIS ON FUCKING TWT OK i cant i can't
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tryna eat vicariously thru food snapchat stories cos we aint got good food in the house and its pissing me off so bad every other video is 'girlhood is unbottoning ur pants after dinner' 'this is how single girlies eat' 'my girlfriend when i take her to eat' 'girlies when they eat together' 'how girls eat alone' i think tiktok is a poison. what is the insane focus on how grown women eat why is it framed like hash tag girl life every time who are you people
#i know its diet culture and shit but its so. so everywhere augh#i used to have a ss collection on my old phone of every time i seen a woman post something blatantly sexist like 'when ure driving but ur j#just a girl' * cut to her backing into a pole * like its so everywhere#like you an adult women are going to go on social media and say im a girl so i cant drive ????? is it 1933 ???????????#pisses me off so much and then i go to the comments on these tiktoks and nobody is even acknowledging it even in a jokey way#ppl are just out here posting sexism uncritically its like vine 'bitches be like' all over again but its hidden#behind like girls supporting girls hashtag feminism#its so insidious i hate it sm drives me insane#talkin.555#dont even get me started on girl math or girl dinner im gonna explode
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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my issue with terminology discourse isnt that i think everyone's stupid and sensitive it's that literally nobody explains the meanings of things and then get pissy when people dont know what things mean
#like oh my GOD how do you expect people to know certain words arent For Them if you just. DONT TELL ANYONE#like i understand researching for yourself but ??!?!??! if you don't think its wrong in the first place why would you research it!??!?!??#like ok ive just seen a vid of this woman saying “thibgs im tired of hearing straight people say as a lesbian” and it was all yeah whatever#but the COMMENTS#someone asked why they cant be a bi fem if fem just means feminine and people were getting so mad being like#no you CAN. be a bi fem. you just cant be a bi FEMME.#like queen if they dont know why they can be a bi fem i dont think theyre gonna know what a femme is!!!!!!!!#dear god its annoying#like i get the issue with people misusing terms specifically for lesbians or queer people but oh my god#like genuinely just are you thick#if you dont Tell people what a pillow princess is how do you expect them to know they cant use that word to describe themselves??????#AND NONE OF THEM EVER EXPLAIN IT.#EVER.#oh my god i hate tiktok so much#i dont even know why i use it#blah blah!#not 75 stuff#to elaborate about getting pisst#i mean that they all expect everyone to google things but 1 google sucks atm and 2 how are you meant to find out whats legitimate informatio#and what's just completely fake unless you Tell Them#like. if you want people to stop misusing terms then you have to explain WHY#and DONT get fucking annoying about it being all like “lmao yeah i knew you wouldnt get it” because then theyre going to do it out of SPITE#like it's ridiculous genuinely
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i literally dgaf about blade and danheng as a ship whatsoever but i keep seeing ppl talk about their past and misconstruing everything and purposefully misinterpreting the LowkeyHomo Shit they had going on and it kinda drives me crazy like as of right now i understand why u wouldn’t like the ship but tbh if blade was a woman im tellingu right now the romantic implications of their past would not be argued against i think its mostly annoying cus i really like the high cloud quintet and seeeing people be wrong about it makes me angryangry angry
#cheese *blush*#i dont really like many hsr ships in general but like#ill be honest i saw a tiktok of someone being Incorrect about their relationship#i feel like its kinda hard to wanna care about xianzhou lore in general just cus its really kinda confusing at face value#especially the high cloud quintet like idk at least for me i needed to watch a video to understand what was going on#so i guess id get why ppl dont really know all the details#and they kept up bringing the whole marriage thing which if u dont understand where that came from then why even bring it up#they also used hoyo never having gay relationships and only lesbian relationships as proof which is kinda crazy bc#hsr only has 1 canon couple as far as im aware and it is 2 men LMFAO#anyway all this to say ive seen characters shipped for Much Less cough robinhill cough and cn censorship is kind of Evil as days so manidfk
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Just saw my sister with a starbucks cup. Very upset with her.
Overpriced coffee is NOT, and will NEVER be, worth the lives of Palestinians
please keep boycotting. i promise it's not that hard
#mint.txt#i dont usually talk about real life issues#but jesus that's a whole genocide happening and im so disappointed with the world for not even doing much to stop it#like sure sit in a courtroom and talk about banning tiktok instead of what's really important#i really hate this country bro#The US for anyone that's confused
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Hey, this is Taylor from a few years back. Sorry for the ask. I haven't used this app in a few years and forgot how to message lol. I was looking through my old account and saw yours was still up and running, and I just wanted to tell you thank you for the time you were my friend and how patient you were with me. You were a great friend and an even better influence. Hope you're doing good!
This was such a wonderful surprise... I have so many words and yet none at all. Thank you for being my friend, too, and for the kindness you showed me. I hope the future has treated you kindly 🥹🫶🏾
#and now a word from us kids#first of all if you dont know how to use chat its not ur fault its bc tumblr updated and changed 90 times in the last 3 yrs like WHO ASKRD#FOR ANY OF THISSSS#since the great tiddy ban of 2018 we have just gone farther and farther downhill yall 😒 tumblr never shld have tried to appeal to the ads#and its not like it even worked bc The ads we DO get are like facebook video level LIKE PLZ ABEG 😭#anyways i want you to know that when i finally read this ask (like forever late) i was travelling with my sister in TX mind you! and i#literally stopped walking on the sidewalk in 100 degree weather she was so mad at me but i was literally floored#i will never be able to express how much being your friend was healing to me too. and i missed you. and life is crazy#idk if you ever saw that one post on tiktok that went viral and it was an old lady and her best friend had “we were girls together” on#her tombstone like... i think about that all the time. something so beautiful about youth and IM YOUNGG WE R YOUNGGG but still.#thank you for being my friend and thank you for finding me again and i dont even know what words to say! but this was incredibly sweet#and i sat on it for 2 weeks bc i didnt know what to day and i still dont. but i hope you still remember how to read tags 😩😩#a part of me wanted to figure out how to answer this privately but also a part of me wanted this to be tangible somewhere so i apologize at#the end of the day i am still a tumblrina immortalizing things on my blog 🥹🩷#my sunshine#🩷🩷🩷
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this is going to sound really pretentious but are you ever talking to a dude and its like "wow they rlly don't get it"
#rambling in the tags here but#i was talking to someone abt my theory of aliens cus they asked what i thought#and i went on about the universe is for the most part inhabitable and thats why we look on other planets and theres no life#because its so rare for a species to get this far and it would be even more rare for a species to evolve so much that they have the technol-#ogy to move at the speed of light and even the earth has been void of life for extremely long period of time#so if there is aliens which i still believe there is; i dont think they have evolved to the point of space travel at least not enough-#to make it to us#and then hes like#i believe they could possibly be here.... and demons#and i said why and how#he said 'well let me find this tiktok of a demon possession'#my heart literally dropped im not even kidding#i dont believe posessions are real in the first place im sorry but ive experienced something like it first hand and i believe its actually-#religious psychosis#people can believe what they want it just sucks that tiktok is feeding people the worst shit like#remember when tiktokers were thinking giants were real a bit ago ?
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