#i dont even care but i bet very few people remember who i am LMAO

[allthebestcowgirls]

so i followed u twice actually the first time i followed for a lil bit but got intimidated bc i'm like insanely anxious or something idk and the second time was last pride month so u had a different url and icon and i didn't know it was u again! but then u followed back and we just talked here and there and it was nice! so now i am here for good 😈😈😈

omg... YOU being intimidated by ME 😳😳 that's crazy like for real sjejsj that's okay im so happy you're here to stay 😌😌💖💖

[driedlasagna]

More Tangled Thoughts: New Dream Kids Edition

ok so first things first: I am still working on a fic that incorporates the prompts I got a while ago on another post about the new dream kids, it’s just hard to write a scavenger hunt lmao

also, these are my headcanons about Rapunzel and Eugene’s kids: I will be using the names I came up with for them as well as just the ideas I have about them. If you don’t agree with any of it- great! If you agree with them- great! I love seeing everyone’s interpretations of these characters and what i have to say is not the end all be all (obviously) 

ok gonna put a cut here bc idk how long this will get

ok so i think basically everyone agrees that the new dream kids are twins so like....they’re twins that hasn’t changed

The names i randomly chose for them are Emmeline and Callan, (i like being able to give characters nicknames-theirs are Emmie and Cal) but i was thinking and after seeing people headcannoning that Rapunzel wasn’t her original name (similar to Eugene’s being Horace) i was like...hmmm

so I decided Rapunzel’s name was initially Emilia, named after some relative Emmeline and then...boom full circle her daughter is named Emmeline

I have absolutely no explanation for Callan’s name i just thought it sounded like it would work for the tangled universe

ok now into personalities

I was thinking Callan would maybe be quieter, but maybe not in a ‘doesn’t speak’ sort of way??

like Emmeline doesn’t take any shit and she’s very vocal but Callan is just more reserved

but when they’re together all bets are off and they wreak HAVOC like the guards thought they had their hands full with Eugene when he was Flynn Rider but now there’s the kids of him and Princess Rapunzel (aka another person you really can’t tie down) and it’s like being sneaky is in their genes

also Eugene (and Kiera and Catalina) probably teaches them some sneaky tricks but like...on the down low. Rapunzel isn’t thrilled when she learns about this but like she also finds it hilarious and in reality doesn’t mind bc the twins are using it to sneak a cupcake or two, not steal a crown

Emmeline takes more after Eugene and Callan takes more after Rapunzel, but both LOVE painting on the walls of their rooms

Emmeline dreams of being a guard and doesn’t love the idea of being fully in charge of running a kingdom. Callan wants to be a great artist like his mother and isn’t necessarily scared of the possibility of being king one day

Later in their lives, this kind of turns into Callan actually becoming King of Corona while Emmeline marries a princess from another kingdom and is Queen there- she’s super happy about that bc she doesn’t want all of the pressure being The Head of a kingdom comes with, she’s like the second in command kind of thing and most likely becomes very involved with that kingdom’s guard

so yea they’re both not straight. probably bi but yea. Callan might be ace or aro or both idk 

but i LOVE the idea of a prince coming from another kingdom and both of the twins have a crush on him. I think i made a post about this before but i should really write a fic of this 

The twins absolutely LOVE Max and Max LOVES the twins. Obviously he’s at the very end of his life (bc he’s a horse) when the twins are old enough to interact with him and he probably dies before they’re 10

both twins are known to speak their minds but especially Emmeline

she learned very quickly that she needs to filter her thoughts during diplomatic events and put on a face (another reason she absolutely dreads the idea of being Corona’s Queen) but can still get away with snide remarks to Callan....sometimes

the Prince of Corona has been known to laugh so hard during events that water comes out of his nose. Eyewitnesses say the Princess sitting next to him always looks very pleased with herself when this happens

the twins love making each other laugh. they have a great sibling relationship but obviously do fight sometimes bc that’s just how siblings be

I know i’ve been describing Emmeline as like...kind of rigid but she is also soft and has ‘classic princess qualities’ i hate how that sounds but idk how else to put it

basically Emmeline can and will fuck you up or mess with you but she LOVES getting an excuse to dress up and attend balls and similar events (may or may not have to do with her big fat crush on the princess from Bayangor) 

Callan enjoys his more comfy, non-princely-duties clothes but also loves dressing up for events

the twins ADORE their family. Uncle Lance tells amazing stories (almost as good as their father’s stories and that’s saying a l o t), their cousins Kiera and Catalina are the best babysitters (bc they let them sneak around and ride dessert carts through the halls), Uncle Varian is always doing the coolest things and makes the best hot chocolate in all of Corona, and their grandmother and grandfathers just absolutely spoil them bc they didn’t get to be a part of their own kid’s childhoods bc they love their grandkids sm

Callan, especially when he was a toddler, ALWAYS finds himself in someone’s arms. that kid LOVES being held and everyone knows this

even though he doesn’t compete in it, Callan always enjoys Contest of the Crowns bc he is his sister’s number 1 supporter, even if they’re mad at each other

Emmeline’s favorite holiday is the Goodwill Festival. She absolutely loves the gopher (she finds that animal absolutely adorable) and just all around enjoys the happiness and good feelings that radiate through the kingdom during it

They do know Cass, but not super well. They first meet her when they’re like maybe 3 or 4 and visits are fairly sporadic and few and far between, but they do love their Aunt Cass (i feel like she has Aunt Willow vibes- ie, travels a lot but makes time every now and then to visit)

Emmeline and Callan are probably the only kids in all of Corona who just call Monty ‘Monty’ and not ‘Uncle Monty’. Monty loves them, they love Monty, and both he and Rapunzel put aside their friendly rivalry when it comes to the kids, but for some reason the twins just never ended up adding the ‘uncle’ to his name (Rapunzel does not mind. Eugene thinks she’s almost smug about it)

the twins are obsessed with the stories Rapunzel and Eugene tell them. The story of how they met is one of their favorites. it’s been told to them for as long as they can remember, but they only learned the full story sometime when they were in between the ages of 10 and 13. That night they slept in their parents room.

Lance is the one who tells the twins about Eugene’s Flynn Rider days, but doesn’t mention the Flynn Rider in his stories is their father. The twins are confused by this bc Eugene reads them the actual Flynn Rider books (which they love) and when they ask Eugene about it (”Uncle Lance told us you would know!”) they don’t initially believe him when he comes clean to having been the thief. It takes Rapunzel and quite a few wanted posters (”that’s obviously not you- the nose isn’t right!” “THANK YOU!”) to convince them otherwise. 

ok this is getting really long so i think i’ll stop there. honestly, im not expecting anyone to read this fully bc of how long it is and it’s just me rambling again, but if you did, thank you! i really appreciate it! I’ve gotten addicted to sharing my thoughts in this manner so like...this is most likely not the last time i do this lol. also i didn’t proofread this bc frankly i dont care

the amount of unfinished new dream kid fics in my wips.....astronomical. 

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

asks about the orgasm topic

there was quite a few so i’m compiling them

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis: God I wish I were sensitive, Y'all fucking lucky, ya bitch hasn't actually ever cum before lmao :/ 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis: Hey I just wanted to let you know. I share a similar struggle :( I suffer from orgasmic dis function which people sometimes forget women can even have. I’ve never and can never experience an orgasm because of this medical issue and while I’m happy for those who can it makes me insecure sometimes when smth says “y/n came” or w/e bc like,,, I can’t do that and my last romantic partner told me it made me less of a woman and made her insecure bc she thought it meant she wasn’t good enough rahhh shit

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:lmao here my ass is, i cant feel sexual pleasure at all. im jealous of all u bitches. but idc all it means is that i can devote all my time to shiggy

i wish i could say something that would make a difference but i am SO bad at comfort D: please know that you are not any lesser for this, you guys are hella valid and you shouldn’t ever feel like something is wrong with you. i know that there can be many reasons for why it’s impossible to orgasm. the best i could say is maybe speak to a medical professional if you haven’t already? that’s if you want to, of course. 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Unfortunately, most guys won't "work for it" anyways. I saw some statistics on what's called an "orgasm gap" where straight men are the least likely to get their partners to cum. Seems like most just either don't care or don't try :/

yeah i mean i love my boyfriend to death and he tries his best, but sometimes a guy can only do so much. i can see both sides of the struggle. some guys really are useless sacks of meat who dont deserve their dicks but some guys try as much as they can (with their limited understanding of female anatomy akjdsfl cis straight guys don’t know what the hell they’re doing). but it’s important to remember that these are just statistics and personal experiences vary drastically. don’t let the stats bring you down if you’re hunting for a partner!

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:can we also talk about the straight man belief that going down on a girl is being submissive? NOT IF YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT BITCH like if you eat the coochie so good sometimes the pussy owner's brain doesn't work

the first time i heard dj khaled saying he doesn’t lick his wife’s pussy i felt my own coochie shrivel up like the sahara dessert, RIP to that poor, POOR soul with such an awful husband. i get that some people just aren’t comfortable with oral, that’s totally understandable. but if the reason for that is because of your fragile toxic masculinity oh boy go die in a fire.

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis: I can only get off from clitoral stimulation and any kind of penetration is straight-up no from me.

same!

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis: A good ol’ pillow jump is the only way I can get off, but the same stimulation doesn’t work or translate to actual sex, so I can’t get off with a partner.

i dont quite know what a pillow jump is (unless you meant hump, and if so then wow i commend you because that’s way too much muscle movement for me), but yeah it’s tough to translate how good you can make yourself feel to what a partner makes you feel 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:I still greatly enjoy the MENTAL stimulation of sex with the right person and making others feel good, that’s just me. It can be annoying but it’s still a fun journey.

SAAAMMMEEEE my boyfriend used to be really confused because after sex he would offer to go down on me to make up for my lack of orgasm but i told him that the act of sex in of itself is enough for me to get enjoyment out of it. sometimes you just want a cock inside you ya know?

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:I actually just wrote a bit in a fic where the female oc didn’t cum from penetration so her partner ate that puss like he needed it to live. I enjoy trying to make my smut as realistic as I can. And since I’m asexual and have no experience to speak of, it can be hard. But I have great friends that help me with details and share their own experiences to help me out.

that’s what i was planning to end my tomura fic with akljsfh some god ol’ oral for reader. but based on my own experiences (as stated above) sometimes it’s just enough to simply have sex and oral isn’t always needed after. but that’s just me!! 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:I haven't slept with anybody yet but I'm kinda nervous to with how I've explored my own body so far. I don't think I've ever climaxed? I feel the build up but it's too much and I stop before anything happens. And when I do get near my limit I always have to pee or something?? I don't know if it's squirting or peeing but it happens every time, even if I pee before getting handsy. I figure it must be squirting right? And I thought that made me gross but online people are all 🙏squirting🙏

that sounds very normal, sometimes i’ve felt that with my ex when he was dicking me down way too good lmao i’d say that’s the build-up to orgasm, but it doesn’t always reach climax. but that’s what i experienced with penetration. i don’t get that sort of feeling when i’m just touching my clit. but everyone is different! just go at your own pace and enjoy yourself. i don’t know anything about squirting though. 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Ik the cuming without penetration is serious issue and jt makes you self conscious but i wanted to let you know Jin would totally love you either way, i bet in fact hed go out of his way to find toys or information on how to make sex better for you and hed never pressure you because he loooves~ you - from an anon who hopes this helps!

fam ily for this ;-; 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Bruuuhhh, the insecurity about not being able to cum is too real, I've been sexually active for 3 smthing years and have not gotten off once with a partner (and my bodycount isn't low). I honestly feel like all my nerve endings went to the store for milk and never came back

god i feel this on a spiritual level, sex is like solving a damn rubix cube D: 

[purplesurveys]

956

Be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions? Yes. If there’s one good thing going for me it’s that I’m happy with the things I’ve done, overall. I regret few of my actions.

Have you ever had an operation? No, and the thought scares me to be honest. I get uncomfortable with the idea of being put under anaesthesia or being cut open D:

Favorite sit-down restaurant? Yabu, Frankie’s, or Mendokoro Ramenba. Missing all these places bigtime, too. I can’t wait to start getting my internship money, heh. Chicken wings will probably be one of the first things I’d buy.

What have you eaten today? I had sushi bake with nori sheets in the afternoon, during a lull at work.

Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? Rhett and Link, if people from YouTube count. But Angela made me laugh quite a bit today, if you’re looking for an irl person.

If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? But would I be down with the tattoo...? Probably should have been the first question you asked, haha.

What is something you find romantic? I like different ways of saying I love you without having to say those words. Like, “I thought of you when I saw this,” or “Should I drive to you?” or “Did you get home safe?” Those are my favorite things to hear when in a relationship; it makes me feel I’m looked out for, which I appreciate.

What is your style? Sometimes I like going the 90s route with graphic tees and high-waist denim jeans, but other days I like to look more modern or chic.

If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Not that I enjoy doing it, but I’d love to visit Nacho’s resting place right now. I’m just not sure if I’m allowed to go out at this time. I’m certainly hoping he wasn’t alone today and that he got a lot of love.

What is the best movie you have ever seen? Good Will Hunting.

What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Intelligence.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I don’t appreciate jokes on miscarriages and rape, and those that poke fun at transphobia. Jokes on suicide and mental health issues can sometimes be offensive, but it depends on the context.

How long was your longest relationship? 4 years.

Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? I’d take the castle. I personally prefer the spaceship a lot more, but I feel like I’d be barfing in there a lot lmao. Also, the amount of controls and buttons that I’ll have to move around will probably overwhelm me.

Have you ever felt unimportant in someone’s life? Unfortunately, yes.

Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Not my gift of choice either, so I’d say it’s a good thing that no one has made one for me.

Did you have any unread texts this morning? I don’t think so, no.

What are your initials? RIAC.

What is your definition of “having sex”? I don’t feel like describing it in detail lol, just look it up.

Who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on Facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)? I never used that feature on Facebook. I don’t like sharing too much personal info on there, because Filipino relatives tend to be nosy and gossip around lol. All they need to see are the memes I share and my political stances.

Do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? Do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal? 16 years old...say that again, but slowly. That’s pretty disgusting.

Were you ever “the other man/woman”? How did it turn out? How do you feel about it today? No. I’d never want to be; I wouldn’t know how to deal with it if I ever found out I was one.

What do you think of open relationships? If your partner suggested it, what would you say? i dont care what other people do, but that is not for me.  < Sums it up well.

Would you ever date out of your race? I’m open to it. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be.

Who were you with yesterday? Just family, but I was mostly by myself.

Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? Nope.

What time do you have to get up tomorrow? My work starts at 9 AM so I always have to be up by then, but because I like taking a shower and polishing the work I did the day before, I personally like to be ready anywhere between 8–8:30 AM.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? I never have.

What kinds of alcohol do you like? I like cocktails; I like having a good, chill time with friends and I’m usually not in a hurry to get drunk, so cocktails are the perfect drinks for me for most situations. As for hard drinks, I usually go for tequila shots and whatever Bacardi is.

Did you have a swing set when you were a kid? We didn’t, but as a kid I regularly came over to my cousins’ place who did have a playground and they had a variety of swings that I loved riding.

Can you do the alphabet in sign language? Incompletely.

Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely? Of course.

State you most want to visit? Illinois, but only for Chicago.

What is a book that you really want to read? I’m not really eyeing any at the moment, but I’m currently reading Midnight Sun. Except by ‘currently’ I really mean reading a few pages or so once a week lol. I’ve always been terrible at reading books as a teenager/adult.

What brand was the last lotion that you used? I don’t remember anymore. I don’t use lotion often.

What color is your underwear? Green.

What was the last type of cookie that you ate? Sandwich cookies. They were Oreos.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In a happier place, mentally. I’d give an arm and a leg to be there rn.

What genre was the last song you listened to? R&B I think.

What sort of surveys catch your interest and which ones bore you? I like ones with random questions or those with themes that I can relate to, like college or film surveys. I can’t say I enjoy surveys that ask what kind of X you are and then just lists down traits that you’re asked to bold or not. Bolding surveys can also be kinda bleh, but I like putting my own twist on them and elaborating on each entry so that I don’t finish them too quickly.

What books do you usually enjoy reading and which do you not enjoy? I enjoy autobiographies. I don’t like the fantasy and epic genres, or anything that has too many fictional or supernatural elements.

What is something that you really want to try, whether it’s a hobby, food, etc.? Baking! I feel like it would be therapeutic for me, so it’s something I want to get into. It’d be awesome to master chocolate chip cookies.

What websites do you frequent most often? YouTube these days, for sure. I also use a lot of Google Suite for work.

The last person you found attractive — what did they look like? Big eyes, medium-length hair, bright smile.

If you could go back in time, would you prefer to go forward or backward? this question is so jacked LOL. "if you could go back, would you go foward?" go away. < Hahahaha true, but I’d go forward in time. I want to fast forward to feeling happy again, if that will even be the correct guess.

Post a link to the last video you watched online. Aw man, your timing made me a little sad. I’m currently watching the GMM episode that featured Kobe Bryant a few years ago.

Is there anything bothering you at the moment? You bet there is.

What color was the last shirt you wore? I’m wearing a black and white striped shirt right now, but the one I wore before this had a leopard print.

What sort of things do you like to post or look at on Tumblr? I just do surveys full-time now, man. I hopped off the fandom side of Tumblr 6-7 years ago and this has been my ~main blog since, if I had to call it anything.

What scent was the last candle you burned? It was just a plain candle that we had to light up because we had a blackout. I don’t really get my own candles to relax or whatever.

What type of people are you usually attracted to? I’m demi, so it will always differ. I don’t have a ‘type’ of person.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Can’t say I do.

When you look to your left, what is the first thing you see? What about the right? I see my bed on the left, and the wall and the glare from my phone on the right.

What room are you currently in? What color are the walls/floor? I’m in my bedroom. Walls are white, floor is brown.

What color is the last blanket you used? Pink but it has polka dots of various colors. My light is currently turned off and it’s dark, though, so I don’t feel like reaching for my blanket just to list down its other colors.

What do you smell like right now? I think I just smell like person...I wasn’t around strong scents today.

If it was possible to celebrate a holiday everyday, which would you choose? That would get boring really fast, but idk...Christmas, I guess? It’d be nice to have big grand dinners everyday and to see regularly relatives I only see 1-2 times a year.

If you could compare yourself to a celebrity or character, who would it be? Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman. Loyal, wacky, covers everything up with humor, very expressive when it comes to love.

Which male celebrities do you find attractive? Timothée Chalamet, Troye Sivan, Mark Ruffalo.

Which female celebrities do you find attractive? Kristen Stewart, Kate Winslet, Rosamund Pike, Claire Foy, Courteney Cox, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone.

If you could marry one of your favorite celebrities and have a happy relationship until the end of your days, who would it be? I’d go with Mark Ruffalo, heh

What song are you listening to at the moment? I have Good Mythical Morning on, not music.

What is currently on your desk? Just my headphones at the moment. I usually use my laptop on the desk too, but right now I prefer to be on the floor just because.

What brand is your computer? Apple.

What are the last things you ate and drank? For eat, I had sushi bake with nori sheets. For drink, I had water.

How often do you take naps and how long do they usually last? I take naps in the afternoon but only on weekends now, because work. How long they last always varies, depending on how hot it is in my room. Higher temperature = quicker, less satisfying naps.

Which season do you wish lasted all year? I definitely wish we got rain all year.

What is the last part of your body that itched? My back.

Is there anything that you should be doing right now? Nope. My day is over and I’m happy to take a survey or two tonight.

Is there anything you’re craving right now? Pad thai. I did ask my dad to make it again, so I should expect it any day soon.

How do you take your tea? I don’t drink tea.

[sagittariusboyfriend]

lmao oh man. ok ive been talking to a guy who from the start knew i wasnt interested in any romantic stuff - i told him up front, he told me he wasnt either. cool cool. so we met for a coffee and yeah im not attracted to him, but he is intellectually stimulating u know. like where you can have many hours of conversation because hes really communicative and blunt and honest and has a very different view on life than me etc. which i like about him. i learn so much from direct opposites. we become friends. well, flirty friends, but honestly he is the only one doing the flirting during this entire time. ive been very specific not to as to not send any mixed signals, and have had to dodge some straight-forward sexual stuff a few times. not at all because i dont want to talk sex, we have absolutely talked sex, but not with each other, and i just really dont want him to think im attracted.

however he turned out to be a pretty... petty and unchill person. at times, anyway. as i said i like talking to him and do so quite often, or did so anyway, up until recently. a while ago he started to get very contrarian, like, edgy? rude, but at first in a playful way. i dont have a problem with rude when its in a playful/comunicative way, im amused by that and i indulge in dishing it back playfully from time to time. but it was very obvious he was doing it because i mentioned i was into "rude" guys, maybe once, when we were talking about my former love interests. and by rude i definitely dont mean as in someone whos all high and mighty, self-entitled, or stuff like personal attacks, im talking about a kind of humor, or in a charming, charismatic and mischievous way. and maybe that is my fault for not specifying what that actually meant, idk. its still kind of strange completely rearranging your personality based on something i said once, you know? it all felt very contrived to me.

but anyway, he also started to get pissed off that i would see my friends but couldnt see him (he lives in a different city...) and about how i could afford to go drink beer with my friends and not drink tea at his place (he also doesnt drink and, again, lives in a different city) and im like... ok first, im not even that into you in comparison, i will always pick my friends over others, i prioritize my money (i am by NO MEANS wealthy omfg) the way i want and on what is proportional to what i get out of the experience. im not going to put out a lot of money on a train ticket to sit at home with you, a guy ive met in public ONCE, when i have all of my biggest friend groups in this city, here, where i live, and we enjoy drinking beer, watching soccer, going to the beach, hanging out in parks, having game nights and hosting and going to parties etc etc. heck yes im going to spend my last money on being with them. and i have told him this, and also that if i had more of a disposable income right now i would obviously be freer to do whatever. ive never been against going to his place to hang out and not having it involve any alcohol, thats all cool, but right now i just cant afford it, and i would prefer to hang out in public some more. but hes not into my scene, so what am i gonna do. and i dont think its strange to think like, i know my last bucks will get me two beers at the cheapest bar, but two beers are still not the price of a (one-way) train ticket. but he just... gets mad about it. in a very childish way. and i keep a very open an honest discussion with him, and most of the time he gets it. hes not dumb or socially awkward, i know hes not, but hes kind of... hard to deal with, i guess is the right word, when there is a personal relationship. in a not so charming way. where he can come off as uncertain, distristful(!) and a bit egocentrical. a classic "ive been hurt by hierarchy for most of my life so now im always on high alert and im going to be as obtuse and snarky as possible so i can feel like i have some sort of control and i WILL take up space and society WILL give me what i feel ive been cheated of my entire life also emotionally im a scared child and really really need validation but im never ever going to admit that". most of the time hes not, but when he started "demanding" to know why i couldnt hang out, or what my expenses were(!!) i immediately got turned off. having to motivate or explain your life and choices to a person youve met once and that you, sure, appreciate, but that you dont really know? no thanks. people not trusting me or my reasons makes me angry, because i put so much value in honesty, so i got angry at him (which is VERY not my character). and he kind of took a step back.

we havent spoken as intensely since then, maybe two weeks ago, and i honestly dont mind except for i like to write and communicate with a lot of people about a lot of stuff to keep myself occupied and he is now one less person to do that with i guess. but now he casually struck up a convo on my snapchat on a post "where i looked hot". i was like heh thanks! and he went on saying "i need to remind myself of how good-looking you are sometimes... kind of stupid actually"

so im like... uhuh... why would you need to remind yourself of that? already finding it a bit cringey

and he says "because i forget about you? xD"

aaaand im rolling my eyes trying not to gag. he is obviously looking for a reaction and im like wtf are we 15

then he fucking says, all philosophical like: "sometimes we need to be reminded why we start talking to/hitting on someone in the first place" and i was just like...... ok stop... what a fucking backhanded compliment. that actually was you telling me that i havent been paying attention to you that much and you want my attention.

god.

again, so turned off by this kind of personality. and i dont mean that only sexually, i mean... i dont think we can be friends, man. youre acting kinda gross. "we" as in, people of the earth, dont need to be reminded of that. that is not a universal truth. this is cringyness, a wounded ego on a high horse.

idk maybe he was trying to be nice or trying to say hes sorry because he was out of line earlier, but i genuinely dont think he thinks so himself, but... ugh. i am not into this. i am not into him. i have been doing my best not to string him along by the way, by being veeeery open about the fact that i sleep with different people, and not just guys, and that i like being single right now and that i have many issues to take care of and heal, so i hope he doesnt feel like ive been doing that to him for some reason.

im just very over this guy. i basically answered him that it sounded more like a backhanded compliment than anything else and that i know ive been bad at ~paying attention~ to him in that way lately, and that im aware of that because im just not interested in paying that kind of attention to anyone at all right now. lets see what his response is. i bet on either a douche guy "lmao ok i was just giving you a compliment chill" or a niceguy/neckbeard "wow youre not better than me". or perhaps hell be an adult about it. i feel like i do have some faith in him still.

but jesus christ the cringe

update: this was a while ago and i dont remember what he answered but it surprisingly wasnt any of the above. we stopped talking for a few months tho and now im in love with a gorgeous person that i recently became exclusive with. this guy is still someone i talk to now and then on snapchat. he semi-regularly drops compliments on my selfies and i guess thats just fine, but his snaps are very very bitter and sometimes i can tell he wants to get my attention. 🤷‍♂️

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

[i-amusemyself]

1 To 116.

Thanks anon!! Thats my boredom cured for the evening

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I’m actually not confused right now, which is a bloody rarity. I suppose I could say I’m slightly confused about my gender, but I try not to think about that tbh

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Occasionally, though to be fair I’m never awake in the mornings atm lmao

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

On a rare occasion? No. All the time? Probably.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Fuck no lmao have you met people?

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Umm...I was with my bf..

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my mate from uni @bookdragonphoenix

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Instant break up. No excuses for that.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Hoo boi that’s complicated! It varies honestly, but more so than some people I guess

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Yeah

10: What are you listening to?

I’m listening to Ke$ha’s Die Young. It’s a tune okay?

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Coke Cola (that is how you spell it right? Fuck im dumb). I live off it anyway tbh

12: Do you like hickeys?

Um, I like getting them but I get embarrased if some people see them lmfao

13: What time do you go to bed?

Like 12am? Usually about 2 hours after I’m tired enough to sleep smh

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Besides me? I guess a couple of people that are...distant friends and possibly a few family members, not to call anyone out

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Well no lmao

16: Do you always answer your texts?

90% of them

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

I don’t know who I fell the hardest for. I don’t really recall past emotions that well.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Todayy

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

3 or 4 people yeah!

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Fuck me I don’t know. Probably ughhh can I fall asleep pls

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope. I havent even seen another human today lmao

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

To an extent, but it’s not always guaranteed unfortunately

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Fuck no lmao

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

That depends on the definition of fix. If it solely relies on me doing things different, then no. But if it means someone else can themselves be fixed, sure.

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nah, wish I could though I feel like I need to

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Grey

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Not people I see anymore

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Don’t think so. I think people are just busy.

29: Do you have a best friend?

I have multiple

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Very :/

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

@oneshappyplace bc she loves it when i throw random shit her way and vice versa

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I mean besides the people I have long term issues with? Nah

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Haha yeah

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

20. Oh jeeeeesus christ that’s a scary fucking thought. Nope-ing away from that.

35: How many more days until your birthday?

8 months ish?

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

I’m going away to quite a few places. There’s more I want to do but I don’t know if it will ever get organised.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Besides my bf, not good ones. 

Edit: I completely forgot about one of my friends, yes I do

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Not intentionally. Idk. Don’t ask don’t tell I guess.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yeah bc it aint anyones business

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

I don’t think so. 

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

To an extent. Massive age gaps are weird, especially if one of them is hella young

42: Are you available?

Nein

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

2

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Eyebrow piercing

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

I guess? I mean I probs couldn’t do that but I guess for others 

46: Do you regret anything?

So fucking much omfg

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

How shit I am at communication. I’m really starting to get mad at myself and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

In a way, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

No

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

I...am ig

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yup

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Wow this is relentless with the kissing. Yah

53: What was the last thing you ate?

An orange

54: Did you get any compliments today?

Nope

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Suffolk for latitude festival. How I ended up going there is a long story lmao

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Tons of stuff I guess. I mean I’m wearing my ohio state tshirt haha

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

In the middle of england

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Fucking hell, like 7 or 8 weeks ago when I came back to uni

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Who hasn’t?

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

Nah 

62: Who do you text the most?

Probably @oneshappyplace or @apricot-el they get all my bs

63: What was the last movie you saw?

It’s called Chronicle, it was p good

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t fekkin ask that lmao! Hopefully the fact they’re happy and their ex is now miles away

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

Zero

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nein

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Yeah, much to their dislike

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Yeah, but I’m only here for 3 more weeks

69: Picture of yourself?

No chance. Just imagine stereotypical androgenous kid, but lanky af

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I prefer monogamy

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Um...I actually can’t remember

72: What do you most like about making out?

Feeling wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (sweet sweet depression and anxiety)

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nah

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Strangely enough, me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

I cannot seriously pick one part

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

You guessed it it’s @oneshappyplace

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

I mean I’m alone

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Just cute unexpected gestures I suppose

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

I mean, maybe not currently but who knows if I was older

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Just my closest friends and the person I have a crush on *eye roll*

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

No

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Years ago

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

I mean I’ve met them now but yes 

86: How can I win your heart?

Be a kind, understanding human being with a damn good sense of humor

87: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Bothering friends lmao

89: Do you cook?

Occasionally. I used to a lot more but depression

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Yeah, but it only ever seems to be me making the effort, so every time I’ve let them go again

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

see like all previous answers lol

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Monogamous stuff

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

I honestly don’t know. I can never figure out my type, just, hotness lmao

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

Dopamine, money, the power to help others more...thats it thats all I want

95: Are you a player?

Nein

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Nope

97: Are you a tease?

I can be but not in a cruel way

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Two people and we’re still close

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

That’s a loaded question yikes. I dont know.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

I mean I don’t know their tumblr but yh

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both. I can’t choose. I’m bi.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Probs idk

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

....their face?

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Sure

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Not until I knew wtf they were playing at

106: Do you flirt a lot?

I’m hopeless at it

107: Your last kiss?

Yesterday

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

I haven’t kissed that many people, full stop.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Yikes see 107

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

The bae tbh

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

I have a p good idea

112: Does someone like you currently?

I fekkin hope so

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah lmao

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious shit 

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Once when drunk 

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

In a relationship, for sure

[souljournaler]

I’m gonna reach out to that cop-looking entity and channel the message

i’ll put my communications in bold

immediate update, i can’t seem to get a lock on them. i remember their outfit, but each time i try to imagine it, their form underneath the outfit shifts. sometimes they are shorter, sometimes they are tall, sometimes they are lean, sometimes they are broad. they are always quiet, but i can sense they feel something under their masks.

my bias says again, astral cops. magic fasc. the fact that their masks were so featureless and shiny, and the military-ish uniform? Black pvc is A Look, i gotta admit, but it looks so hella fasc-y & cop-ish

let’s see if i can get any of them to talk

they dont expect me to go straight for seeing through their eyes. i’ll put my feet in their feet and feel them in their own shoes and it makes them leap. i get kicked out immediately. i think it’s hilarious. i dont think they agree.

they dont even know why theyre there, they are just following orders. many are not even lucid until i disrupt them and then we both get kicked.

some of them are awake while their energy is out busting ppl’s dream bubbles! not like breaking them, but like a cop would bust someone, but literally in people’s dreams and astral spaces

they look for cracks.

oh whoops someone is getting me back!! time to channel

who is this

how did you find me

where are you

open your eyes

are you real

wow hm ok, well, they weren’t very strong, just very startled. they cant stay focused now that they’re awake. i think they felt my presence though. oops lmao

someone has been looking for me. maybe not me, but something/someone like me

they have a higher voice, dark hair, tan skin, extremely slick & neat bun, dark brown eyes. their favorite hair accessory are navy or grey scrunchies. big ROTC vibes. innate magical talent but doesn’t know how to use their power which has become more intrusive on their everyday life over the past few years. they live in a nice house post-2000s construction or remodeled then, mostly tidy, workout equipment, house plants, white walls & light tile floors. Black gym bag. didn’t have time to take their grandma’s powers & practices seriously.

who are you

why are you looking for me

i was told to find you

who told you to find me

my grandma, i think

did you bust my dream a few weeks ago?

no. what?

who are you?

i cant hear their name cuz honestly i dont want to know but i heard Lieutenant. it’s really hard to stay focused cuz im hella distracted in my workspace rn

wow you’re really strong

thanks. wait what do you mean?

you keep finding our connection again

you keep diverting

ok. that’s true. well, what can you tell me about the 

wow i got distracted, just got some kinda good news oh wow they’re pulling me back

where do you keep going

another channel

what’s that mean

you’re channeling baybee

what’s that mean

sixth sense henny

welcome to clairaudience. hearing shit.

they cut the connection

no they didn’t lol they’re back

wym hearing shit

spirit realm baybee. did u just have a weird dream?

ooh the connection has cut out again

i think they’re having a lil moment. their call feels like someone pinching my deltoids lol. they do seem kinda cop-ish the way i saw them just now. i wonder if we’re on the same earth.

woop they’re reaching again.

what do you want?

what do you want?

you first

who are you

Look, Lt. you have some powers. your grandma didn’t get to tell you about them.

wym?

sorry, i can’t tell you anything else. you seem kinda cop-ish, no offense. it’s harshing my vibe.

wym cop-ish

no offense

wym cop-ish

u ask a lot of questions i dont rly have answers to. look, i saw someone dressed like this in my dream right as i was waking up. do you know them?

[the image of the outfit from my vision]

no i don’t really recognize that.

okay, that’s all i wanted to know. i thought about them and something clicked our energy together. i wasn’t really looking for anything else.

[they showed me my image back] i don’t think i’ve seen them.

i see an image of a dream where they are wearing that outfit and they see themself in a mirror and take their helmet off. they are surprised to see themself underneath.

are you recording me?

no

im lying, im recording this.

i can’t do this right now

ok bye.

i tried to close the link

why the hell did you record that?

you need to be more careful about what you share on a psychic link.

i’m seeing the flash from their dream again

why is that bothering you?

i don’t know

it feels normal. but scary.

what’s scary about it?

i don’t know. just... the mask makes me faceless. and i’m taking it off because i want to see myself.

why did you redact that part?

quit asking too many questions.

ok.

who are you?

you can call me whatever.

that’s not gonna work

no it’ll be like odysseus calling himself nobody, that’s cool

i’m not doing that. that means i’m polyphemus

oh my gods you know epic poetry, that’s cool

of course, we all had to read it in school

yeah i guess that’s true.

why are you trying to trick me?

because im assuming you’re a cop. just cuz u have powers doesnt mean i can trust u.

should i not trust u either?

no u can trust me if u want. but like, honestly, it’s up to u and ur discretion.

okay.

i’m still recording this

what dude what the fuck

sorry. i’m going to close this channel now. it’s been nice! bye!

where are you going?

they’re holding the channel open

hey i’m talking to you

who are you

im closing the channel

hm. okay. well. okay. honestly i ran out of energy at the end there but they kept putting their foot in the door to the channel. ppl with innate power can be scary cuz they don’t know how strong they can be. i bet that person is gonna feel hella tired later.

they tried the channel again a couple times but i’ve closed my personal channel for a little bit so they keep hitting it like a wall.

wait

who are you

why did you contact me like this

what am i supposed to do now?

idk fam, have yourself a lil moment tho

i’ll let yall know if i hear anything new but im gonna submit this post now

[thedeviljudges]

shame shame it is my name ive been going through your harringrove tag all day and im just. completely fucked. choo choo the harringrove train has left the station you have a one way ticket to hell please enjoy the ride with some fine literature that will make you wish you had your very own cuddlebuddy while crying like a bitchbaby. please have some patience, i will be back shortly to tell you all about how you and these soft trashboys ruined my life! 1/10

SO FIRST YES YOU GOT ME INTO ZIAM. I can’t remember when but dear god ive been here for a long, long, looooong time. also can i please cry about your fics. because. i feel like they dont get enough love and im just!!! every time you write because your writing is just so?? idk?? im like “ah, noel wrote this. i CAN FEEL IT BECAUSE I GOT PUNCHED IN THE FEELS” and im gonna be superembarrassing but like i love you dude. you’re so fucking talented and it saddens me that all the work you put into ziam fics and drabbles never got the attention they deserved. like MIDNIGHT LIGHT. how freaking cute was that im just seriously Im gonna die ok i love it so much oh my goood the beginning when they met and Liam just replied with “okay” IM JUST. its so stupid cause there wasnt a lot of interaction between them at first but i just LOVED it?? like well done this made me feel like a 13yo also i love the way you describe it when liam smiles like i can see it happening in front of me and i get why zayn melts and falls for him every time. i have so much love for that fic you dont understand. am i gonna yell about my favorite ziam fics wHY YES I AM. We’re dreamers in castles made of sand (also i really like your titles btw) blew me away. I got chills and it didnt go the way i expected it to go, the usual boy has sex with a prostitute, catches feelings& saves them. i love that you didnt let that happen. Liam saved himself and im just so happy! caring and supporting zayn was amazing to see but the fact that liam did it on his own and THEN CAME BACK im weak i love it so much. ive already told you i love the under the rose universe. i cant even pick a favorite moment im just in awe of this entire serie. listen. i love liam and veronica with everything that i am and i would die for them. also. Vanilla sweet universe is just everything ok jfc.

okay. okay so i had to sit on this all day because i just. you’ve overwhelmed me, for real, lmao. like, i don’t really cry over messages, but this one? kinda got me good.

(and also, idk if you meant to send more, but i did only get the 6/10 so that’s what i’m replying to!!)

first off, lmaooo you’re hilarious as fuck. this message? as good as the one you sent the other day. i’ve reread it a few times, and i laugh at it each one.

but okayyy ok ok. i wasn’t expecting this lovefest, but i s2g, this is the sweetest. you’re not embarrassing, trust me!! i always love to know what people think of my fics. call me greedy, i guess, but i genuinely love to hear back from people, even if it is negative.

although uhhhhh, i love you???? like damn???? i mean, no lie. there’s definitely a few fics of mine from ziam that i wish took off more. i got comments on ao3 here and there and asks from time to time, but how i found out people liked my stuff was either through recs or casual discussions mutuals would send me because they just so happened upon it. i hate being that bitch that /wants/ to hear feedback because it sounds selfish, but like, some of those longer fics were so draining, and sometimes i got the feeling that me (and a few others tbqh) were just placeholder authors??? we were ~there for filler fics until…. well uh, lmao, other ones could finally put out.

ok. midnight light…. is one that i forgot about because lmao, that’s not one i’ve heard anyone ever talk about actually?? it might’ve gotten a few comments, but omfg. you saying that is really surprising???? i actually did love that one. kinda felt bad i didn’t make it longer or whatever, but it just made sense. i’m so glad you liked it, though!! but it’s definitely not stupid!!! that’s so wild that it makes you feel that way bc i get that way with fic too and omfg. i didn’t know people did about my stuff?? fuck. you’re way too kind.

ALSO LIAM’S SMILE. i tried to include that a lot because liam really does have the most beautiful smile. it’s so bashful and looks so genuinely happy and adorable and ahhhh.

about the dreamers fic…. gah. i love the concept i did with that, but when i look at it, honestly??? my writing is terrible???? omfg. i cringe at my old writing, i swear. but i think that fic is the most popular one. dunno why, but i’m so glad you liked the ending!! i don’t even think it was intentional to try to do something different. in all honesty, i don’t even know how i came up with the ending, lmao.

really, i’m just gonna keep thanking you over and over and over again.

fic titles… i love coming up with fic titles, and i’ll have you know that most of them are just song lyrics. i usually go for the most unusual lines in songs because they seem the most fitting? and what’s crazy is that when i hear it, i know immediately whether it’s a title or not. idk if that’s intuition, but to me, all fics are like children, and when you hear the title, you just know??? ok now who’s the embarrassing one, lmao.

under the rose - is my weakness, my soft spot. all born outta me trying to prove something to rude ass people tbh, lmao. wrote it out of spite even though i knew it wouldn’t be popular, and i just remember back in 2013 when ppl thought i was crazy as hell for loving veronica so much, and IM STILL GLAD i’m not alone in that.

vanilla sweet was also sorta born outta spite?? just in the sense that it didn’t have to be stereotypical abo that was written in the time (ie dubcon or more).

honestly, i can’t even believe you like all of these??? these were incredible messages to get, babe. like i said, you did make me tear up, and idk why you decided to stick around with my boring, bitchy ass tbh. i feel like is scare a lot of people off real damn quick, but i appreciate it so much. i really fucking do, and you’ve totally made more than just my day and night. i’ll legit be thinking about these for awhile now. fuck, i’ve talked your ear off too and yet i could wrote another 10 pages, i bet.

literally, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this and for giving my fics a chance. it really means the world to me, even after all this time. i appreciate it so much.

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

[viichar]

Tagged by @sukkanen to answer a few questions about my OCs!!! Thank u i am honored LOL now lets get into it 

 Some OC questions      

1. Your first OC ever? i had this “RPC” who was just a naruto oc and her name was Kiki and she was rlly like over the top happy go lucky but had an angsty backstory bc i was emo and she was like blind in one eye but she covered her good eye with hair?? and she was an orphan I shipped her w like 6 different naruto characters #noshame

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs? Charlotte is definitely my fave honestly !!! Second fave is Hayden tho (her brother, but actually hes my oldest current OC )

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? YES!! And i haven’t used them bc im trash but i love them,,, i promise,,,,,, i just dont know what to do w them yet,,, 4. A character you rarely talk about? I have a lot of OCs like this, but the ones that are still alive are Luna and Lulu who r best friends, and i made them w my friend @papperie as like background friend OCs for hers!! 5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? ...this is a double edged sword bc ofc i want my favorite OC, Charlotte, to b most popular, but then she’s gonna get reinterpreted constantly and like i wouldnt be allowed to have her exactly how i want her?  6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related? UHHH most of my OCs actually are related but if im not careful Aureli and Charlotte can start to look similar

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories? YEP that’d be all of them!!! if i dont make a story for them they die inevitably 8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here! I used to,,,, mostly as Hayden!!! I miss RPing haha but i havent done it in SO LONG 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

NO i would b so emo,,, once they are mine they’re mine !! altho ive considered making adoptables  10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Dont have any LOLLL all my OCs are slice of life tbh so they end up being very casual, ALTHO currently im in the middle of designing a princess so that could very well change soon! 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? AURELI,,,, mischevious sunshine princess, shes kinda oblivious to things but she likes causing play trouble and embarrassing her gf  12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot SARA, i love her she belongs to @quillsareoverrated, id add more but im 2 lazy 2 draw but like name wise I love Fordic and Laura ( from sukka and spacey )

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

AURELI, also Hayden, but he just causes his own trouble and ruins his own damn life which isnt what i think u mean LOL

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh maybe Hayden again, he did end up running away from home and then going into shady business to survive and then he tried to die and failed //shrugs

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people? YA I DO but then they get bored or like dont rlly care abt my OCs and like,, its hard to try and talk abt your OCs when ppl clearly r not interested 16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? PROBABLY LULU, shes the only OC who i even think COULD be good at biology,,, 17. Any OC OTPs? YESYESYES Charlotte and her wife Hayden and his husband,,, AURELI AND SARA,,,, Summer and Vi I HAVE A LOT MORE 18. Any OC crackships? ya,,,,   I like shipping Lulu with Claire and Luna tbhh ALSO ALEX i ship her lots ALSO I ship Charlotte with everyone who will LET ME

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) Hayden and Charlotte, theyre so old and like theyve evolved so much, but especially Hayden who is still like..down in the dumps and bad at everything and like extremely dependent on his husband and like....i relate but every day he tries his damn best even tho its hard to see if he’s getting anywhere,,, he tries his best and i should too he means a lot to me,,, hes been w me like 8 yrs 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)? no lol all my OCs are tone deaf LOL which is funny bc i love singing 21. Your most artistic OC UHHH NO CLUE,, Charlotte is a top notch ballerina but shes not creative really... Maybe Luna?? Shes a cute model and i think shes a fine arts major iirc 22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? YA,,, definitely Charlotte, people tend to see her as a character who is cold but opens up when u get to know her, but not rlly shes rather cold LOLL she just has a soft spot for her wife 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like? HAYDEN,,,, he used to be so rebellious and like angsty and now he literally just sucks at everything but tries to be good ALSO charlotte because she literally was just Hayden as a girl and now look at her,,,,, 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why? Sevastyan!!! He’s only half mine, but im ready to marry him he is big and buff and TALL AND BROAD and boring as hell but thats ok  25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?) Lelija! Hayden and Charlotte’s younger sister who gets picked on by lit all of the siblings besides Hayden and Adeleine ( So like 8/10 siblings ), shes chub and unkempt like me

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? Nope, there are things i changed bc they felt over done or they were just old and i was done but never against my will? After all theyre MY OCs im not going to change anything i dont want to??? 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Nope!! Maybe by movies or comics, but not songs. 28. Your most dangerous OC? UHHH Victoria (Charlottes wife) could fucking kill a man LOLL and would for her wife  29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? Charlotte bc she thinks she is tough and doesnt need any help with anything, this is how she dies probably 30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? HAYDEN,,, Shoving them rapidly into his closet when company comes over bc he is mortified but they make him feel better Unsecretly tho i bet Aurelia has 67789767897668976 covering the bed and no one can stop her 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) Charlotte would have an annoying fitspo blog w like minimalist pics of nice apartments and cute girls tbh I bet Aureli would have a blog dedicated to cute stuffed animals, rooms filled with pink and white furniture.blankets, and tons of lingerie and cringey quotes abt love 32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? HMM... TBH Hayden would be the best bc he would cry the entire time and u would relate to him and try ur best with subpar skills LOLL for ACTUAL horror tho Probably Victoria, shes kickass and wont lose, she’d be OP 33. Your shyest OC? Lelija! After being picked on for years its no wonder she’s shy, especially talking about something she likes bc she doesnt want to be made fun of for having interests 34. Do you have any twin characters? Hayden and Charlotte! I made hayden first, and honestly most of the time theyre in seperate verses, but they ARE twins if theyre in the same verse! And Charlotte is older she’ll have you know. 35. Any sibling characters? Hayden and Charlotte have 8 younger siblings LMAO Aureli also has an older sister named Aurora!  36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? YEP YEP YEP Charlotte and Haydens wife/husband Lulu and Luna are friends of my other friends OCs Aureli is in love with Sara!!  I prefer to make OCs in pairs with other people!!  I love it !!!!! 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

AURELIIII shes a robot girl!!! She can do pretty much anything other girls can but shes a robot 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? Charlotte. No question. After all she’s one of the best ballerinas in the world in her verse so BUT Also April and Summer can dance p well!! More contemporary!! 39. Introduce any character you want here is Lulu i keep mentioning!!! its been so long since i drew her i kinda forgot but shes best friends with Luna and is engaged!!! Not to luna unfortunately but dw Luna is doing good too

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share! Not really!!! I have a bad memory so LMAO even if i did i cant remember them on command

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!) YES AND I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME, most of them r on twitter tho ( This one is by Sukkanen on tumblr !!! I LOST MY SHIT,,, )

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? probably hayden, he loves stories and storytelling and religion so

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess Short w round faces and big bright eyes and long long hair, always girls tbh, i know who i am and im ashamed LOL, also girls who are bratty !!

44. Something you like about your OCs in general i like how hard they work, all my OCs basically do their best and try their hardest and like they stumble, or sometimes just suck at what theyre doing and dont get better but like i value that  45. A character you no longer use? the first one i drew, KIKI, she fucking embarrasses me but every time i try to revamp her i cant bc im attatched. 46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly? YES,,,, EVERYONE,,,, I LOVE TO MAKE THEM SUFFER 47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? YEP, LOTS OF MY FRIENDS 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure My OCs are honestly all assholes besides aureli so shes defaulted even tho she loves mischief 49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes Hayden  50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want If you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9 OCs are magical and every character u love was someones OC at one point. I am rlly attached to my OCs and afraid to put info of them out there because i dont want people to like..take them and make these connections i cant control but like then i see other ppls OCs and i want to!!! SHOW PEOPLE!! Its a weird line, but i love OCs and i wanna know abt more of them!!!!

[lightningfilledsaber]

Do not rəbl°g this p°st

Tw for mention/talk/description of gaslighting, ableism, racism, transphobia, gore/death, r*pe, sexual abuse, pedophilia, and inc*st.

Please blacklist/filter the tags #blacklistnow or #blacklist now if you don't want to read this

I'm adding this after I've already written this vent because I'm done being quiet about who has incestually abused me and some of the details of what happened to me. I will not be editing this to sound nicer or more coherent because I am not a nice or coherent victim. What happened to me was horrific and I won't water down my raw reaction to remembering what I went through.

Do not speculate/debate/invalidate my trauma and absolutely do not rəbl°g this post. It is incredibly fucking hard to be posting this. I am posting this however because my general silence on most of the things that have gone on has been my weakness and my former abuser has used that as power over me because my lack of detail is easy for him to manipulate to make him look like the victim. This is not detailing nearly everything that has happened to me, and I will not relive more of my trauma than I'm comfortable with, so keep that in mind as well.

I'm not airing urls/other accounts of my former abuser and (current?) stalker because I don't care if nobody knows who he (I am using he/him pronouns to refer to my former abuser because those are the only pronouns I have ever seen/been told that my former abuser uses. I have not been given any other examples besides he/him of the pronouns my former abuser has used or is using) is. He openly "jokes" about rape and pedophilia, says the n word both with and without the 'hard r' despite being nonblack, says r*tard despite not being on the autism spectrum, deadnames and misgenders trans folks, and owns a server with channels dedicated to talking about/posting both drawn child porn and graphic real life photos of gore, mutilation, and death of children and animals.

It goes without saying that the people in this server either actively participate in this or just dont give a shit. The people he associates with know his character. If you don't excuse the shit mentioned above then you don't have to worry about interacting with him, and frankly I'm tired and wary of putting myself at risk again for exposing him.

Do not rəbl°g this p°st

Fuck folks, what really pisses me off about everything I've gone through with being stalked, deadnamed, and just generally harassed by my stupid ex abuser and his stupid (now ex) boyfriend is that literally the whole reason I had put my neck out like that was bc I had seen a post abt how someone had warned the partner of their toxic ex and had helped them. I just fuckin. I saw that and I felt confident enough to be vulnerable to a fucking stranger because I thought I could help him like that person helped their ex's partner but it just turned around and kicked me in the ass.

Like fuck, this ex who is a TRANS MAN talked about wanting to kill me and called me, EXCLUSIVELY, her or it. Then had the AUDACITY to tell me that he was """just checking on me""" as if he was fucking worried about me?? And that I needed to stop venting about my abuser bc """it upset him"""????? Oh yeah lemme just take into consideration the feelings of the person who lied, manipulated, abused, and yeah fucking raped me. Because pressuring someone into sex is fucking rape. And it wasn't even once! Once would've been enough but it was fucking CONSTANT! EVERY SINGLE TIME I CAME OVER. "Please can we do anal. Can we? Do you want to? Do you want to?" Over and over and over no matter how many times I shrugged or said maybe or said I wasnt ready or into it or that it was too much or even fucking RIGHT OUT SAID NO he would ask and ask and ask and ask until I caved in like YEAH. THAT'S RAPE MY DUDE. And to a lesser degree he, whether he actually has DID or OSDD or not, manipulated me into dating and being sexual with his "second personality" that had repeatedly misgendered and deadnamed me before. Not to mention the fact that HE TOLD ME HE HAD BEEN DATING SOMEONE WHO HAD EVENTUALLY KILLED HIMSELF BUT THEN LATER ADMITTED TO ME THAT HE WAS LYING ABOUT THEM DATING AND HE ACTUALLY WAS JUST STALKING HIM??? LOL. Not to mention that our """""relationship""""" started with him manipulating me in what was and is still for me the most humiliating way fucking possible. I'm not gonna talk about that but he fucking lied to me and tried to convince me that I had fucking TOLD MY DAD I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM, MY DAD, and that he felt bad bc it was his fault for """corrupting me""" WHEN MY FUCKING DAD HAD DIED ALMOST A FULL FUCKING YEAR BEFORE OUR FIRST """""RELATIONSHIP"""""" He gaslight me so fucking BAD so fucking constantly even about the dumbest shit but that was the fucking worst. I started to fucking BELIEVE IT for a while it was so fucking bad. I didnt know what was real or fake I still dont know if his fucking ""second personality""" is real or not I dont KNOW. He just fucking downplayed EVERYTHING he did to me and had the fucking AUDACITY to say I was the reason he THOUGHT about killing himself like???? NAH LMAO. YOU USED SUICIDE AND SELF HARM AS A THREAT TO KEEP ME WITH YOU OR HAVE SEX WITH YOU OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANTED AT THAT TIME. YALL WANNA KNOW THE WORST PART ABOUT ALL OF THIS??? THAT VERY FUCKING FEW PEOPLE KNOW BECAUSE I AM TERRIFIED AND ASHAMED AND FUCKING HUMILIATED OF THIS STILL??? HES MY FIRST FUCKING COUSIN. THIS SON OF A BITCH MANIPULATED ME INTO THINKING INCEST WAS OKAY BECAUSE I WAS AN EASY TARGET FOR BEING NAIVE SO HE COULD FUCK ME. I HAD ALREADY FUCKING BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED IN THE PAST I ALREADY HAD FUCKING ISSUES. HE MADE ME THINK INCEST WAS OKAY AS LONG AS WE ""NEVER HAD KIDS""" I WAS SCARED AND TRIED SO HARD TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT WHAT WAS HAPPENING WAS OKAY THAT WE """DATING"""" WAS OKAY AND THAT BEING MY BOYFRIEND WAS OKAY AND EVEN THAT FUCKING BRINGING OTHER PEOPLE INTO OUR FUCKING RELATIONSHIP WAS OKAY BECAUSE HE FUCKING GASLIGHT ME SO BAD. HE MANIPULATED AND GASLIGHT AND ABUSED ME SO BAD THAT MY FUCKING BEST FRIENDS COULDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WOULDVE LASHED OUT AT THEM OUT OF FEAR AND SHAME BECAUSE HE MADE ME THINK THAT SHIT WAS OKAY. SO YEAH. FUCK HIM. FUCK THIS SITUATION. AND FUCK HIS EX BOYFRIEND. BET HE DIDNT FUCKING TELL YOU WE WERE COUSINS HUH?????? YEAH. WONDER WHY. CAUSE HE'S A FUCKING PATHOLOGICAL LIAR AND COULD GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE I'M STILL AND ALWAYS WILL BE FUCKING ASHAMED AND HUMILIATED WITH MYSELF FOR IT. FUCK YOU FOR BEING A DOUCHE TO ME. FUCK YOU FOR STARTING THIS SHIT. FUCK YOU AND FUCK HIM I HOPE YOU BOTH CHOKE

Do not rəbl°g this p°st

[ilygsd]

200918: 1

someone fuck me in the asshole honestly im shocked how can this dude NOT UNDERSTAND??? hes really good at cognitive empathy, he has a nice moral compass he follows ”be kind, be nice” but he cant fucking FEEL what hes doing

and like....... thats important to me??? and apaprebtly NO ONE has ever criticized him for it or whatever? like his ”intentions”?? ofc he cant help he doesnt feel emotional empathy but he literally cant spot the DIFFERENCE!!! he’s like ”as long as im kind and a nice human being” like bitch NOO!!!! i like you!!! you ”like” me, but you like me bc u think im interesting and you think we can learn from each other. which also is important OF COURSE!! but BITCH I LIKE YOU BC I FEEL FOR YOU THATS DIFFERENT

we’ve known each other for like 3 weeks, met 5 times and we’ve already had 3 major fights??? mainly over text/phone but still.... he’s so fycking mean? he really tries to manipulate me that ugly fucking whore!!! he guilt trips me all the fuxking time i cant say anything he’ll explode and i need to apologize or some shit otherwisw it would never end. and i know what the fuck he’s doing because i used to be the exact same. honestly we are similar in many aspecrs EXCEPT for the ”feel”-part. i feel TOO MUCH. and the difference is that im not manipulating him.... because i KNOW i cant. i know he’d see right through me, there’s no POINT

like i used to be like that too, maybe i still am. i ALWAYS win fights, no mercy. its like i turn off my empathy during fights but AT LEAST i feel AFTERWARDS!!! he doesnt. he realize he did wrong bc of his ”morality”. bitch i could CRY, because he literally scolded me over phone when i was on the bus and there was NOTHING i could do to stop him. i tried to talk to him but he only continues cus i fkn refuse to oBEY HIS ORDERS??? but i cant hang up either cus then he’d never talk to me again and i’d feel like shit......

he’s pretty calm irl, ive never seen him angry irl and i hope i never will holy SHIT!!! he’s so good at hurting, like he turns everything youve ever said to him against you. he’s so fucking good at it cus he’s so god damn good at reading people. thats what makes him so charming. i DONT UNDERSTAND how can his precious girlfriends not have CARED??? apparently i’m the first to criticize him and one of the few to trigger him and im like..... bruh how?? i literally dont say anything and you fucking explode?? are your family and friends blind??? are you doing this to me because you THINK the manipulation will work??

also...... he sees it as something positive that sick bastard. hes like ”well i think this could be good” and im like ”uhhhh bitch it is I who get scolded???” and hems like ”but i feel and too :((” he’s such a fkn dumbass. this is his politics too. he believes in reverse racism and is probably sexist too smhhh. i was like ”are u dumb, u hit me in the face and tell me its bad for you too bc u feel vad abt hitting me??”

i am impressed by how he chose to ve ”kind” or whatever instead of psycho even though i still think he’s selfish and does it for his own gain aka he LOVES to learn things, experience things. he’s very ambitious, energetic and curious. but he doesnt understand. he’s like ”well im kind to you thats all that matters?”

the thing is, he’s not even kind??? he basically forced me to taste his disgusting vanilla coffee OTHERWISE he would take the blanket away??? he sees it as teasing and it kind of is yeah..... if i didnt know that his 1000% serious?? he honestly think its a ducking compromose?? im lile ”uhh a improvisera would be for me to taste a little coffee and then you to give me another blanket or AT LEAST stop nagging”

and when i finally tasted the ugly coffee he wanted to know if i thought it was good and i said ”yeah its ok” bc im not a liar, it was better than expected. and hes like ”thats all i wanted to hear” I KNOW BITCH, YOURE NOT THAT FUCKING SLICK ITS PRETTY FKN OBVIOUS

also he always adds rules??? everythings always on his conditions? also he kinda thinks i should be thankful for him not being an asshole??? or maybe its that i actually VRITICIZE his intentions. yeah i think that brothers him. i think he thinks it entertaining because he doesnt care when he get angry. i didnt use to either. i could just forget te fight and move on, it wasnt important to me. but fuck now when i KNOW what its like......

im like ”ur threatening me to drink coffee” and hes like ”arent u happy i put extra much vanilla for you?? i usually drink much stronger but i didnt for u? arent u happy i gave u the blanket? i actually was goong to put it on the couch and leave u cold but i didnt?” BUT HE ONLY PUT ECTRA VANILLA SO I WPULD TELL HIM IT TASTES GOOD SO HIS EGO CAN BE BOOSTED

calso he kinda forced me to drink alohol?? i was like ”im feeling like shit if i throw up its tour fault and you will have to clean up” and he’s like ”no you’ll have to clean up” BITCH I SONT EVEN WANT TO DRINK YOURE PUSHING ME

soooo many red flags fuck i really SHOULD leave now when i can and now when im not too emotionally invested. but oMG IM SO CURIOUS!!! we’re so similar yet so different!!! we can relate to each other in some ways the bad thing is that since he actually cant FEEL empathy, he doesnt BELEIVE me even when i tell him the truth. im not sad bc i want to manipulate him. im not even sad that his words are huetful even though they are, because i know he’s fucking weong. im sad because he treats me lile this. im sad because i like HIM!!! i genuinely LIKE HIM!! but he doesnt fucking understand?? he doesnt understand the difference between LIKING someone and LIKING to HANG OUT with someone. i like him because i like HIM I FEEL HIM, he only likes to hang out with me.

he talks about this as ”his way” and ”bot traditional” way of feeling. his version and definition of ”love” and ”affvtion” is so fucking weird??? we were cuddling and he said ”wow u make me feel more” LMAO BULLSHIT. I CALL FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU ONLY SAY THAT CUS U THINK THATS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

im partly okay with him being low empathy, he cant help it and i actually genuinely believe he believes he’s doing the RIGHT thing. like he believes it so much and... i guess he is?? like what choice does he have? he cant fucking feel, the least he can do is be kind anyways. he cant help that its not genuine and i guess i’ll have to accept that, but i al NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THOSE CHEAP TRICKS. i didnt say anything but i bet he would even understand if i pointed it out. he’d be like ”but its true!! i feel more with you” no bitch, you only say/think that because you WANT to be with me and now when you know thats what i want to hear thats what you say. smhhh

also i remember in the beginning when i kinda confessed and he was like ”it takes time for me to like someone” and in like???? uhhh okay? and i was anxious abt it cus i really didnt understand what the fuck we were and he just kept ”it takes time for me to like someone” to i was like ”okay but its not like im super super deeply in love with you or anything?? like.... i can like people??” BUT NOW I FUCKING UNDERSTAND HE LITERALLY MEANS BASIC ASS EMPATHY. IT TAKES TIME FOR HIM TO FEEL BASIC ASS EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE

i just dint understand how the fuck he’s able to still have a family and friends and stuff. how..... how can no one care??? i said ”theyre being manipulated” and hes like ”no i just dont think they care. they just like that im kind and dont think much abt it” but both youre not kind??? but when i tell im its not genuine he goes with the ”well we’re all egoists anyqays, we’re all doing things for ourselves, ur egoist too” yeah but i can still FEEL

i dont wanna be a dick. maybe its just me?? maybe its just because i feel so much and thats why i really NEED that genuine feeling?? no, i know why...... fuCK ME!!! i CARE because i like him 😔😔 bc i think hes so smart and interesring and i see him as someone potential and thats why i keep test him like this 😔 and its for no use because i cant change who he is 😔😔 would i care about these things with some other guy??? no. because i sont care abt them, but i care abt him and thats why 😔😔

hes not even guilt tripping me for it (wow ”yay” ) he just doesnt understand. he doesnt understand the difference or why i find it important. he just sees it as ”him being different” and ”him feeling in another way”. thats not it. this is not normal. this is because of childhood trauma and im so fucking sad for you, no offense, youre doing tour best but thats so sad

well anyways, even if i were to accept his WEIRD ASS DEFINITION OF LOVE he STILL needs to fucking stop with his abuse??????!!!! out of the 3 fights he has told me 2 times he’s going to ”try” but bitch WE KNOW HE WONT. HE CANT! HE CANT BECAUSE HE CANT FEEL WHEN ITS ENOUGH. IF HE FELT EMPATHY HE WOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP. BUT HE CANT. im just waiting for him to explode someday. i literally asked him ”what should i do next time” and he’s like ”idk, i cant tell you what to do”. omg its true. theres nothing i can do, he’d still be so pissed at me no matter what. and me just asking him is such a BIG RED FLAG like we ALL KNOW.... or not him. he’s like ”maybe we wont fight” LMAO HAHAH YEA BITCH NICE TRY BUT WE WILL BC U START IT

hes so fucking sensitive. we had a misunderstanding, he started to scold me, i got mad and he kept gaslighting ”no i didnt scold you” and when i called him out on gaslighhting..... oh boy...... he got SO FUCKING MA, accuses ME of gaslighting him?? accuses me of ”starting” it with my ”passie aggressiveness” ok maybe i was passive aggressive but i WOULDNT IF HE DIDNT SCOLD ME ABOUT IT. i cant ever criticize him because he goes bananas. ok maybe im not the best to criticize others, im very....... bold. BUT I KNOW IM RIGHT??

last time he got angry because i said ”ppl listen to you bc ur a white man” and he started to bring up his childhood, told me im insensitive, theeatened me to hang up, never talk to me again if i didnt ”respect” him aka ”obey” him, he guilt truppen me, told me no one would want to me with me blah blah blah

a part of me is happy u dont really fall for that bullshit. like yes if course im HURT!!! but as i said, im not really hurt because he really is trying to hurt me. he really WANTS to hurt me. he even takes pride in it?? ”im very good at making people feel very good, and im very good at making people feel very bad” it makes me so FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I LIKE HIM I WANT HIM TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND SO HE CAN GROW, THAT IS EMPATHY PEOPLE, THAT IS GENUINE LOVE

we’re so different. we use completely different tactics. when i used to manipulate my ex.... i NEVER did personal attacks like he does. i never used smth personal AGAINST them.... i was more about.... guilt tripping? more about ”u dont love me, pity me”. im not saying thats good, i was horrible but what he does is just MEAN. i dont understand how anyone can keep up with that kind of behavior. i even told him when we fought and he responded ”well i need to keep up with u”. he always does that and that actually hurts because i like him. and he knows that. he always says ”ive been sitting here, listening to you, been kind to you and....” etc. etc

WHYYYYYY am i the only one criticizing him?? WHY is he like this to me? is it because i see through his ugly acting?? is it even possible for us to ever be healthy together? we can learn from each other, no doubt. but is it healthy???

when i tell him i feel bad bc of horrible manipulative and emotional abusive things ive done he understand but hes like...... ”thats ok dont be so hard on yourself, just learn, everyone makes mistakes” but like no?? THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! he also keeps saying i’ll become like him and like ”stop caring” bc ”we cared too much before” but NO I DONT WANT TO BECOME LIKE YOU!! I ADMIRE YOUR THINKING SKILLS AND ID LIKE TO LEARN SOME OF THAT BC WERE POLAR OPPOSITES YOU THINK, I FEEL. YOU CANT FEEL, I CANT THINK AND HANDLE MY FEELINGS

i dont WANT to. thats the difference. im not satisfiera!!! i told him i dont want to apologize to my ex best friend (who i treated like shit) until it feels GENUINE and hes like ”pfft... its better than nothing. she wont know if its genuine anyways” and im like bitch.... i WANT to be genuine because i think she would appreciate it more and I would feel better about it and hes like ”oh so its cus u wanna feel good about it” OH MY GOD HES SO ANNOYING

i really should pack mt bags and run. why did i have to fall for him UGHHHHH. why do i let him treat me like this when i’d never let ANYONE else do it. its so weird, im very picku with guys. i dont fall for ANYONE. i ALWAYS pick nice and kind guys so why him? i thought he was nice, yeah fair enough, but i still like him even though he isnt? i dont think its me being awfullt desperate, i really wouldnt let anyone be like this. like BOY HE BEKIEVES IN FUXKING REVERSE RACISM DO YALL THINK I WOULD HANG IUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT??? or maybe i am desperate. yes i am. im desperate for the connection i feel. thats kinda sad. i feel a strong bond to/with him, i feel like we’ve been through some things and i still look up to him and how he has recovered. he gives me hope that i can also be happy one day. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE HIM but i still want to learn from him. and i sont think i will ve like him because im not a sociopath. i just want to take the good stuff and then become better

omg i really am similar to him. im really here feeling superior. i do feel superior because i can feel. i feel superior and a part of me wants to use him. hes a real challenge. i dont think i can maniplate him, it would be amazing to have him feel something for me...... IH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING MESS. NO THIS IS NOT IT. I DO LIKE HIM IM NOT LIKE HIM. IM NOT THAT FUCKED UP

i get really annoyed when he claims im similar that i also want to control and manipulate and im like NO BITCH WERE SIMILAR BUT NOT HERE, like not when im trying to be calm and grown up and have us silver things, not when im crying because he huet my feelings but................ maybe hes right. or maybe hes just manipulating me??? maybe its both. ofc its both. i WAS HURT, i actually HAD anxiety!!!! if that bastard could feel, he would have known it was GENUIKE. AND HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IM TRYING TO BE CALM AND AN ASULR BECAUSE HE SURE AS HELL FUXKING ISNT AND I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BITCH I WANT TO SOLVE THIS FOR MY OWN SAKW TOO SO I CAN BE WITH YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A CHEAP WHORE WITH NO SELF RESPECT.... BUT YES OF COURSE I WANTED HIM TO FEEL FOR ME TOO. IT DISTURBS ME SO MUCH THAR I DONT HAVE AN EFFECT ON HIM HEA LIKE A STONE AND OFC IF ANYONE SAW US FIGGT I’D LOOK LIKE THE CALM ONE. hes wrong though bc i used to think like that too with my ex bff. i used to think damn shes only like that so she can feel superior to be and humiliate me but no. she was right. she was more mature than me and she did what she had to do AND THATS WHAT IM DOIKG TO SO FUCK YOU

only way for me to manipulate him would be sexually. he’s that pathetic. a fucking horny dick, thats what he is. but it wouldnt even be manipulation because honestly if hes that fucking horny then its his choice. its not like i’d ever r*pe him, i dont even wanna have sex with him that guy has some HIGH STANDARDS i feel like a virgin next to him but since im not he would also expect more smh. i dont even dare to kiss him back. im only used to virgins so they dont have any experience lmao but... fuck i cant this time

he’s so cockt though for real. he brags about this and that all the time which is kind of his charm..... if it wasnt for the fact that hes always so competitive and serious LMAO. like it would really hurt his ego if i questioned him. imagine me telling him his sex, kisses, brain/psychology or smth was bad. i swear to god he would want to scold me and call me some real nasty things but he probably wouldnt

[bwicblog]

EE: Wheeew, ånyone else feeling the recent heåtwåve?

EE: I just wånnå weår tånk-tops ålreådy but I cån't, so i'm DYING

ID: fuck the heat. seriously i traveled out of the desert to just end up in a muggier hot hellpit.

EE: Ugh muggy is even worse EE: So får the heåt here hås been dry, but I know we're in for å night of humidity ånd I dreåd it!!!

ID: it's like being in some giant's sweaty armpit around here. =:I definitely take dry heat any day.

EE: Omg, truuuueeeee

ID: ...fuck why didn't i think of that.

ID: you're a genius, uh.

ID: ...whatever your name is.

EE: Båsill!

ID: basill then. you're a genius.

EE: å genius tråpped in å not-cold-enough office TToTT

ID: complain to the boss about getting a better ac. that's something you can do, right? i've never worked in an office. you are working there. right? and just. slacking off talking to a chatroom?

EE: I åm the boss :'( EE: I'm on my lunch breåk

EE: ånd the åir works fine, but everyone else gets cold ånd complåins

AA: A N D R O U N D O N E B E G I N S.

AA: haha, j/k, they'rne fucking w/ each othern rnight now.

AA: fyi, loserns, name's siparna and i am yrn friendly neighornbornhood brnokern forn tonight! AA: pls place yrn bets now on if you think scrnuffy ass jade is gonna win, orn bighorns mcgee. AA: caegarns, beetles and chip trnansferns arne A L L accepted. >:}

AC: Ø .u. phew, I don't want to miss it Ø

SA: i believe in hadean.

AC: Ø .n. I don't want to bet against Emerel but I feel like it'd be mean to bet against Hadean too Ø

SA: I put all the money in my pocket on Hadean.

SA: which is a large amount, apparently.

SA: I will be seated on a different part of the stands, by the way.

EE: I'm not much of å gåmbling gål

AA: lmfao, phern's not paying attention, maidel. AA: he's too busy seething and wrninging his mitts in the stands. >:P

AA: you can T O T E S bet on whoevern you want.

AA: and wait, prni, wherne arne you sitting?? AA: come sit w/ us!!

AC: Ø .u.! yes! I'm with Sipara Ø

AC: Ø On the sitting with us thing Ø

EE: Go sit with them, it's good to måke friends!

SA: but we're using text to chat anyways...

AC: Ø and pfft. .u. that's true, Sipara, but Emerel might backread and he would never forgive me if I bet against him Ø

AA: and ee, yrn lame and that's fucking ternrnible. AA: wtf's the point of having blue cash if you ain't gonna flash?

AC: Ø bragging rights? .u. Ø

EE: I håve bills to påy :(

AA: and we arneee, prni, but, like. AA: if you sit overn herne, you can sharne ourn F O O D.

SA: ...

SA: okay, i will come.

AA: fuck yrn bills. AA: who needs bills? AA: go sleep in a

SA: wait a moment. I will find you.

AA: Y E S S S

EE: ånd I owe PP å nice lunch bc låst time I took å bet I lost

AC: Ø ouo!!! Ø

SA: here i am. feed e.

SA: love me marginally less.

AP: My money's on the red guy.

AP: Please make him less pretty, red guy.

EE: Shoot, lunch is over :'( EE: Hope the fight goes well

AA: y, y. dnw abt my hearnt level, brnah, we arne thrnowing food into you until we rnaise Y RN S. AA: rned hearnt orn fucking bust. >:}

AA: and aww, ty. AA: it will.

AA: i mean, not forn emernel, lmao.

AA: >:}

VA: Hey

VA: I fŏrgŏT T'say, buT i'm aT The faire righT nŏw

AA: !!!

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

AA: come see the fight!!

VA: ŏk, where ya aT?

AA: we'rne up in the AA: uh, bottom rnow, by the gate. >:}

VA: I'll head ŏver Then

VA: And I'm gŏnna say iT nŏw. VA: I am nŏT wearing a cŏsTume, sŏ yŏu're jusT gŏnna lŏŏk like an ass if yŏu Tell me hŏw "auThenTic" ŏr "rusTic" I lŏŏk

AC: Ø .n. I hope nobody does that! Though...most people are dressed up pretty fancy, hopefully not? Ø

AA: lmfao. AA: y, y, we will rmemebern. you arne always abt that 24/7 cosplay life. >:}

VA: ŏhhh my gŏd

VA: A Tunic dŏesn'T mean cŏsTume

SA: to some people it is.

SA: I don't think anyone will, though, AC.

VA: They're cŏmfy

VA: I Think I see yŏu guys

AP: It depends on who you ask. AP: A tunic is a costume piece, at least.

AP: Maidel, are you here?

AP: A ...very sparkly seadweller bought most of my stock, but I saved you a few things.

AA: n, she's watching the fight, dude, keep up.

AP: I'd like her to answer that, thank you.

AA: lmfao, 'kay, enjoy yrn rnesponse in the next thirnty.

AP: I will.

AA: a~and looks like they'rne actually.. mb.. gonna stop shit-talking and starnt fighting. AA: gee whiz. AA: ... n, false alarnm, still gabbing.

AA: booooooooo.

SS: (Oh em gee, the natterin's the best part, pal!)

SS: (Why you gotta be a killjoy?)

AC: Ø I am! I'm talking to a lot of people though. .u. Ø

AC: Ø but ooh! thank you Ø

AC: Ø ...oh, I think I see Gliese talking to that seadweller Ø

AC: Ø Huh Ø

AA: dude, n, shhhh. AA: say hern name thrnee times and she'll pop out of the ethern to bug us!!

AP: Gliese, Gliese, Gliese.

AA: jokes on you, dude, gotta have hern last name in therne, too. AA: but good trny, herne's a starn forn effornt. https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.13056045.3033/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg

SA: that star makes me angry.

SA: Look at it.

SA: It can't even try itself.

AP: I think that's a good star.

AA: awww. AA: chillax, brnah. AA: let me, like, ftfy.

AA: http://i.imgur.com/cGIay9e.png

AC: Ø I...don't think so, she looks pretty busy with that seadweller. And pffft. Those are some sad stars. Ø

VA: This is jusT awful

SS: (Sipa, negl... http://i.imgur.com/iRDM4n8.png )

AA: oh my god.

AA: O H M Y G O D.

AA: y. amazing. a+. prni will fucking love it.

VA: WhaT dŏes iT say?

SS: ( http://i.imgur.com/I4Ktcaf.jpg )

AA: but also, considern. AA: https://68.media.tumblr.com/8e2668725f5bdbf4a68f95a179462600/tumblr_inline_nxkqgwmYFJ1tn0tli_540.png

AC: Ø these are some rude stars, my goodness Ø

AA: which one, vatty?? >:}

VA: Dŏ nŏT

LL: ( http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/325/925/ca7.png )

AAA: don'tcha see how darnk they arne, maidel? AA: this is what happens when you don't have a pale, dude.

SS: ( https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQTg6TYtpdVKWz85f1ZkRS2TamK5gQDIQPIrh62UQrNgl9Kr_C4 )

VA: And any ŏf The picTures hŏnesTly, I can'T read a single ŏne

AA: yrn language gets | Positively | Drneadful | >:P

AC: Ø ... .u. I have no idea what my not having a pale has to - PFFF Ø

AC: Ø Oh now I get it Ø

AA: >:}}}}}}}}}

AC: Ø Don't worry, Vatrra, they don't say anything important. Ø

AC: Ø Sipara's just being silly. Along with SS. Ø

VA: Sŏunds dangerŏus

AC: Ø the stars can't hurt you, only insult you umu Ø

AC: Ø they're just sad and mean Ø

VA: I meanT Sipara being silly

AC: Ø OH, hahaha Ø

AA: http://cdn2-www.craveonline.com/assets/mandatory/legacy/2013/02/man_file_1042548_3dc.png

AA: >:}

AA: okay, okay, enough starns. AA: we want nemorne, therne's lals fucking head herne.

AA: he's got, like, what...

AA: five horns herne.

AA: that's prnactically enough forn a starn. >:P

SS: (Nah, pal, don't you remember? Last time you checked, I have eight. (\eue/) )

VA: Hŏly shiT

AA: y, well, that's bc i counted beforne i snatched 'em off, duh.

AA: c'merne and i'll snatch the rnest of 'em, too. >:}

AC: Ø but Sipara, we're already about to watch a fight .u. Ø

AC: Ø I'm sure they can make space in the ring for that one later. Ø

SS: (Also, like, I totes can't fight. (\qnq/) It'd up and mess up the face you made me. Too bad, totes sad, mb next time. (\unu/) )

AA: well, shit, i didn't sprnay you w/ sealant, did i?? AA: gdi. >:{

AA: w/e, w/e, we'll fight L A T E RN, obvs.

SS: (Insert obnoxiously unsubtle fist pump at my narrow escape from certain death.)

AC: Ø huzzaaaaaah ouo Ø

AA: help, help, i'm being smotherned by a woolbeast.

VA: Happens sŏmeTimes

AA: >:"{

VA: Cry all yŏu wanT, ThaT's yŏur lŏT in life nŏw

VA: An armchair

AA: wherne the fucks' yrn rnusty solidarnity? herne i am, being, like, supern crnuelly C U L L E D in frnont of yrn verny own gandernbulbs, and yrn like. AA: trnoll darnth vadern. all stoic and shit. THIS IS YOUR LOT IN LIFE. AA: CRY ALL YOU WANT.

AA: well, jsyk, i am fucking weeping. AA: you just can't see it b/c my faces bein' eaten by hairn.

VA: Dŏ yŏu see hŏw much hair I have?

VA: I am nŏT sympaTheTic Tŏ yŏur siTuaTiŏn

VA: AT leasT yŏu have sŏmewhere cŏmfy Tŏ die, ThaT's nŏT sŏ bad righT?

SS: (Nm, I take it back! Pheres can up and help me defeat Sipa, she's clearly no match for us.)

AA: wtf is this trneacherny??

AA: someone narnrnate the fight forn me, i can't see shi.t

AA: shit.

AA: ffs.

SS: (It ain't treachery, it's tactics.)

AC: Ø They haven't come to blows yet but they're both holding out their weapons at each other. Ø

SS: (LOL. I'll be your oculars, pal. (\eue/) )

AC: Ø Probably not long now. Ø

SA: it is very disappointing.

AA: lmfao. AA: y, get the fuck down therne, lal. AA: be my seeing eye trnoll.

SA: I wish they would just get to the quick.

VA: Me Tŏŏ

AA: you and me both, prni.

AA: and v.

AA: wherne's the blood??

AC: Ø In the future. .u. Ø

AA: , , . n .

AC: Ø .M. Ø

AA: ònó

AC: Ø hahaha Ø

AC: Ø that's a great face Ø

AA: i am helping you make yrn emojis GRN8, dude. >:P

VA: -M-

VA: Was ThaT an emŏji

AA: omg, yes.

AA: gj, gj. >:D

AC: Ø that was a great emoji ^m^ Ø

SA: Oh, there they finally go.

SA: a miracle.

AC: Ø Red vs. green, dun dun dunnnn Ø

SA: the battle of ugly christmas colors.

AC: Ø Prisma, oh my god Ø

AC: Ø ...not wrong though .m. Ø

SA: are they not--

SA: see.

AC: Ø I feel _bad_ calling Em an ugly christmas color but .m. Ø

AC: Ø I mean Ø

AA: hey, girnl, don't feel bad forn telling the trnuth. >:}

AC: Ø .m. I mean he's not an ugly christmas color but. it is kind of funny in that context. Ø

AC: Ø ... .n. I hope he doesn't read this and get mad Ø

AC: Ø I mean, I'm green too, I can't really talk Ø

SA: yes but your green is more tolerable.

AC: Ø Em's chrome is nice...I mean, jade is better than olive. but. that's really nice of you to say!...I'm conflicted. .n. Ø

SA: embrace it. who cares what emerel feels about it.

AC: Ø .n. he's my friend Ø

AC: Ø I don't want to upset him Ø

SA: everyone here makes fun of everyone else.

SA: I dont think they will mind.

AC: Ø .n. I try not to though. I always feel bad. Ø

AC: Ø I don't mind if people make fun of me but I always worry about hurting someone. Ø

AA: giiiiiirnl. boy. bb.

AA: em dgaf.

AA: prnomise. >:}

AC: Ø ... .m. how long have you known him Sipara? Ø

AA: dude, have you hearnd phernes talk abt him??

AA: haven't even met him, and i feel like I'M the one quadded to the guy by now. >:P

AC: Ø Sometimes! Ø

AC: Ø Pfffff Ø

AC: Ø he's so tall, I think you'd have to like, get on a stepstool .m. Ø

AC: Ø ...though he's not nearly as tall as Riccin I guess Ø

AC: Ø I don't know _anyone_ as tall as Riccin Ø

AC: Ø ...except for one troll but I'd rather forget she ever existed Ø

AC: Ø So, Riccin Ø

SA: they are too tall.

SA: This is troublesome.

AC: Ø .u.! you know Riccin? Ø

SA: oh, no, but if they are taller than emerel they are too tall.

SA: I meant the fight, also.

AC: Ø Pfff - oooh crap. and Riccin is _much_ taller than Emerel, by...gosh, must be a foot, or almost Ø

AC: Ø and they're yellow! it's surprising Ø

SA: oh, he's bleeding.

SA: oh.

AP: Oh.

AA: welp!

AP: Shit.

SA: good.

SA: i enjoy this turn of events.

AA: L M A O.

AA: wow, didn't think you werne the blood thirnsty kind.

SA: it means Hadean is winning, doesn't it?

SA: surely no one expected this to be clean. that isn't how fights work with sharpened weapons.

AC: Ø ;N; Em Ø

SA: he will be fine. surely there are doctors here.

AC: Ø I saw a yellowblooded one .n. Ø

SA: he could have moved anyways, but he decided to unwisely make an offensive move when it would have been more intelligent to disengage or release the weapon and counter another way.

SA: Unfortunate.

AA: don't lose yrn shit, maidel, we alrndy got one mess on the stands. >:P AA: calm down, he's a mossball, he'll be fine.

AC: Ø ... .n. I guess Ø

SA: you can also look away if you wish, Maidel.

SA: I will give you a play by play.

AA: chilllll. he's obvs a totes bb at this, but eyy. AA: look on the brnight side, he'll be total pity-bait with that sornt of scarn.

AC: Ø I wouldn't. Em is my friend. Ø

SA: You can even hide in my shoulder if that helps.

AA: lmao, oh my god.

AA: prni. prni, if they'rne hiding theirn face, you don't wanna AA: give them AA: no, n/m, go ahead.

SA: emerel is the real winner of the fight emotionally.

AC: Ø .n. Emerel is the winner of first knife wound, more like. Ø

AA: c'moooooon, don't think of that.

AA: think of how much money some suckern made betting on the jade forn firnst chrnome. >:}

AC: Ø .n. wheeeeee Ø

SA: why do people call it chrome...

AA: awww.

SA: why not blood.

AC: Ø ...why didn't he dodge... Ø

AA: bc he's a newbie, duh.

AA: classic rnookie mistake. think yrn tough shit and get a knife to the gut.

AA: happens to, like, half of 'em. >:}

SA: did you make that mistake sipara.

AA: .. and blood's a highblood ternm, dornklornd.

AC: Ø But Em does these fights all the time. Ø

AA: lmfao, y, i totes did. AA: when i was S I X. >:P

SA: oh see that's a much more resonable time frame.

AA: ikrn?

AA: that's when yrn supposed to get all yrn gutwounds overn and done with.

AA: when yve still got yrn entirne pre-adolescent pupation to carnrny it off. >:}

SA: oh right. you all pupated.

SA: hm.

AA: ..........................

SA: regardless, Maidel, i am sure they both knew what they were signing up for.

SA: so just enjoy it.

AA: what, did you grnow in a vat, clonebb?? >:P

SA: shh... the fight.

AA: 😢 AA: 🤐

SA: is he stepping on his hair?

AA: y.

SA: couldn't that break his neck?

AA: naaaaaaaaaaaaah. who the fuck goes into an arnena w/o like, a detachable brnaid??

SS: (Sure, pal, if Hads up and tried real hard-like!)

AA: hads prnobs took a rnazorn to the frnonds just forn that.

SA: someone who is very attached to their hair.

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SS: (Mother grub's saggy chesticles, HAH)

AA: i am in fucking love. AA: soz, lal, you arne eternally rneplaced, that was the wornst fucking thing i have evern hearnd and i fucking love it.

SS: (Best fight ever.)

AC: Ø ...you know, I can't even pretend to be surprised Ø

AC: Ø this is just how this is going Ø

SS: (S'cool, pal, but we're officially on for fightin on accounta: n, fuck you, he's mine.)

AC: Ø I am resigned now Ø

SA: I am greatly beginning to wonder who it was that decided that this was a nonlethal fight and yet allowed a psion with lethal abilities and unblunted weapons to be used.

SA: this is strange, and unnecessary.

SA: it would be like telling a soldier to go easy on a street fighter and yet standing by in horror as the injuries escalate.

AA: is anyone herne hornrnified?? AA: nobody uses blunted weapons in fights, dude. therne's no point to 'em if _someone_ ain't bleedin'. >:P

AA: no one's gonna pay to watch two fuckerns stand arnound in a cornern and hit each othern w/ sticks. AA: it's like, idk, cirncle rnacing. ppl pay forn the opporntunity to see someone get fucked up!

SA: what's the point of bleeding if someone doesn't die.

SA: it's a waste of time amd resources.

AH: to have fun, you goddamn twat

AH: ever heard of that

AH: though I'm fucking let down by Em right now

AA: lmfao. you bet on him?

AH: Lol, no

AH: I didn't know what Hadean's psi was until now, I'm no fool

AA: also, stfu beforne i crnam those twigs you call horns up yrn ass. AA: don't use that language w/ prni. he's fucking delicate.

AH: oh shit, my fucking bad

AH: Lol, big words coming from nubs almighty

AH: did you steal those from a wriggler?

SS: (Shit, pal, s'called 'wait your damn turn'!)

SS: (FIght's ongoing rn, ain't no need to be disrespectful-like.)

SS: (I'm sure there's, like, a proper queue somewhere.)

AA: y. you found me out. gotta steal all my mean jibes frnom the wrnigglerns. AA: i'm just sweet as fucking sugarn w/o it. >:'{

AA: and lmfao. y, rnight.

VA: IT's a gŏŏd fighT, nŏbŏdy is dyin'

AH: I meant your horns, brainless

AH: considering how minuscule they are

SA: oh, yes, because the chat needed another edgy pissbaby.

SA: tell me more about how much of a badass you are, AH.

AH: nah

SS: (LOL) SS: (Super delicate, y.)

AH: you don't deserve stories of my cool stunts

AA: he's got a delicate constitution, brnah.

AA: >:P

VA: SA is cŏŏl

SS: (Hey, pal, I ain't said nothin disagreeable!)

SS: ( (\uwu/) )

VA: I wasn'T direcTing ThaT aT yŏu SS, yŏu're fine

SS: (What? You sayin I ain't cool??)

SS: (Hashtag rude.)

VA: I'll leT yŏu knŏw when I reach a decisiŏn

VA: I'll send yŏu a cerTificaTe even

SS: (That ish better be notarized, pal, or else I ain't gonna know it's legit!)

VA: Yŏu knŏw iT will be

SA: regardless, i mean more to say that fun and practice can be attained with sparring with equal effort exerted and just as much skill gained.

SA: this is borderlining blood sport. it's painful to watch two people hold themselves back for the sake of attrition.

AH: lmao why'd you even come then

AA: y. to the cull matches arne way bettern, tbh.

AA: and pay bettern.

SA: When we sparred on the colonies it was either murder or handicapped practice.

SA: Because Hadean is my friend, and I will be there for him.

AA: but eyyy, therne's totally a benefit to, like, shitshows like this, dude. AA: it takes S K I L L to maim someone w/o just culling them.

VA: I like Th'nŏn-leThal ŏnes beTTer

AA: shit's a goddamn arntfornm.

AH: wow that's the first thing you've said that isn't just blah blah blah

SA: i suppose so Sipara. But i am hard pressed to see this drag on.

AH: fair enough

VA: Sipara has a gŏŏd pŏinT, maiming wiThŏuT culling is a fine line

AA: you need to hide yrn face in someone's shouldern?

SA: It just seems illogical to me. but that is fine.

AA: bc the left one's frnee. >:P

SA: no, it isn't like that.

SA: it doesn't make me sick it just makes me sick.

SA: ?

AA: >:?

VA: yŏu cŏuld Try Tŏ Think ŏf iT as sparring if iT helps

AA: prnotip, dude, squeamishness ain't just puking in the bushes.

VA: I dŏubT eiTher ŏne 's Them will cŏme away frŏm This wiThŏuT learning sŏmeThing

AA: .. also, lbrn herne, it's less funny now that, like, hads is getting hit.

AA: booooooo.

AA: and y, va, i agr

SS: (I mean, I'm up and learnin plenty tonight, vocab-wise.)

SS: ( (\eue/ ))

VA: Likewise

SS: (But, shit, all I ever learned from fightin's that you gotta get 'em down afore they get their fronds on you.) SS: (Idk what the pointa sparrin is when you end up effed up permanent-like if you ever let someone get that close irl proper-like.)

SA: usually violent stabbing and battering isn't part of sparring.

VA: IT can be if yŏu're dedicaTed

SA: dedicated or foolish.

VA: Usually ya have armŏr ŏn if yŏu're gŏing fŏr blŏŏd Thŏugh

VA: Like, armŏr armŏr