#i dont even believe in reincarnation lol

[ustwoforsaken]

you know maybe 'when i die ill be reincarnated into my paracosm' is not the best belief to foster within yourself

[askew-d]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "askew-d "?

hello, there! sorry for the long wait, i forgot to check my notifs :( i will do better next time. thank you for this question! i feel like i’ve waited ages for someone to ask me exactly that, lol. i could talk about well-written fanfics forever!! can i give you a hug? because this is wonderful, really.

let’s go for it! my range of fanfiction that i enjoy vary, but one thing remains: i will adore your fic, no matter the fandom, if it’s written with passion and if it contains good, poetic introspection. i love poetry. for me, if there’s melancholic tropes of any kind i’m into it. immortal character and reincarnation? give me now. supernatural elements or slice of life with doomed narrative? i’ll ignore sleep to read it. angst with happy ending? my endgame, for sure.

however, i also adore silly, comedic, cute pieces of domestic life or otherwise. i had a hard time choosing from my bookmarks for this, and i also reviewed some of my favorites, it was fun. before we continue, here are some of the tags that i don’t dive into for whatever reason: porn without plot (it personally just doesn’t interest me at all), non-con, gore, a/b/o dynamics, soulmates au. sorry if you were hoping for it! i’ll try classify them into an order of what i like most.

1. jellyfish, by mystery twin, for the haikyuu!! fandom — i read this when i was finishing high school and coincidentally the story talks about finishing high school! i have a personal attachment that makes me reread it every year. it’s some sort of tradition at this point. not to mention i love kagehina dearly.

2. teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — respectfully speaking, i would find this author and give them a big hug. their writing is spetacular! if you've never seen this one and you're into mdzs, know it's a story where the characters get to see every event from the novel and donghua, even the dead characters. they watch wei wuxian journey, can you believe it? so goddamn entertaining. promptly waiting for the next update!

3. a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow, for the haikyuu!! fandom — remember i said i love melancholic stories? well, this one broke me so hard, i had to mention how i hold it with tenderness (we love things that breaks us, dont we?). this fandom manages to write the cutest, most unhinged things sometimes. even it's an anime about sports. i always get amazed by it.

4. no certainty of doors between us, by betts, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — certainly the most silly little fanfic i've ever seen, it's hilariously sweet. i want everyone to read this masterpiece because, seriously, whoever did this deserves only the best. so, so, cute. it had to be in my top 10!

5. their kindred encounters, by fireflavoredwhiskey, for the untamed rpf fandom (bjyx) — you know those kinds of shows, books, any piece of media, that tears up apart? well, this one was it for me. it's a very famous one that deserves all praise, certainly well-written and enjoyable to the core, with doses of angst, romance and beauty overall.

6. as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — aaaaa, i was truly torn between putting this in the third or fourth place, but i ended up putting it here. come on, i love an age difference kind of story, especially for wangxian, and this one was perfectly done. sweet and funny. the development? the yearning?? outstanding!! i read this many times already, i'll never get tired.

7. pursuit, by emleewrites, for the haikyuu!! fandom — mystery, romance, lawsuits, poker games, adventure, slice of life, AMAZING depictions and so, so goddamn well-written? that's what you're looking for in any fanfiction. the author dedicated herself entirely for this story, and, like i said, i love stories that are written with passion, you can see it pouring through every paragraph. besides, highly entertaining. i'm not very into long fics, but once i started it off, i couldn't stop. that's how addicting it is.

8. linger by the door (i’ve always been yours), by piecrust, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — epistolary?? have i mentioned how i love it?? some of the phrases in this are gold, in my bookmarks you can check some of them (i ought to make a list of my favorite fic quotes, btw, i will sure do it). through each letter i could comprehend more of wei wuxian's feelings and his internal conflict. i love feeling this connected to a character.

9. all the world is ours to take, by khrys, for the fugou keiji fandom — i have more than one favorite fanfiction for this couple. you know these kinds of developing relationship where the transition from (maybe enemies too) friends to lovers happens so smoothly that it feels like they've been soulmates first and foremost at the end? i don't even know how to explain. i just love how, when they finally are together, it's like they've been together for years. and they just... made it official? i like it. i love my mr. kambe haru.

10. he won’t tell you that he loves you, by hellshandbasket, for the house m.d fandom — i found this to be the most fitting, perfect story for this specific couple. they deserved more stories like this, but we dont see it anymore. i would hightlight the feelings realization in this one, that is so fucking real? haha in any case, it's a fanfic that i enjoyed a great deal.

that's it, i guess! i wanted to add link click fanfics also, however i barely started reading fanfictions from its fandom, i'm drowning in it lately but it's just a start. perhaps very sooon!

oh, i’m gonna finish explaining about the name! in my native language, i’ve heard someone tell me before that ‘life’s a little askew, nothing’s ever perfect’, and that quote remained in every biography of any english website i ever went to. then in literature class someday i had to write about historical women and came across this one named anne askew (i wanted to write about the mostly barely-spoken women). it was the second time i saw this word. i didn’t think of it as a proper name before, but then i had to create a nickname for my ao3 profile and thought, humn, why not just ‘askew’? the quote has been engraved in my heart anyway, so i went for it. we’re all flawed and askew. so, yeah, it just… fit? the ‘d’ here on tumblr it’s only because my surname has a ‘de morais’ in it. i also liked that it resembled ‘alaska’, the john green character i was kinda of obsessed with back in my teenager grunge phase. i don’t like these kinds of books anymore, but i guess some details stay with you. do you think it’s weird? never thought of changing.

thanks for this outstanding ask, it certainly entertained me. and hope you have a nice sleep today, big hugs coming your way! 🤍

[ganondoodle]

I am sorry to hear that the depression has stolen your spark.

I want you to know that you are the sole reason I gave Skyward Sword a chance. Your art was so beautiful and compelling that I just had to know about the media it came from.

Your art introduced me to an incredible community that years later, I am still benefitting from. Your art was the gateway, and I've always been thankful to you for that.

I hope your spark realights, and I hope you can kick depression right in its ass.

i- i did that????? qoq

yes im reviving old reaction pictures

i hope im not ruining the mood bc .. this legitimately made me tear up and i kept thinking of this ever since receiving the ask-

but bc i cant keep my mouth shut (i apologize if you are already well aware of all this i just .. like to talk i guess), i ... idk i have said this before but i feel incredibly conflicted about demise (am i allowed to like him??? do i even like him when i changed him so much??? am i a fraud fan????) and the game he comes from, i .. dont actually like skyward sword that much, or, not as much as it may seem like (my favorite is windwaker, second is botw), every now and then i even feel guilty for demise being my blorbo tm- as much as i love him im under no illusion what his introduction to the series did, the games lore is not .. great, it seems to have kickstarted the decline of the series writing and completely torpedoed any sort of fandom discussion by making zelda a literal reincarnation of the good tm gods of love and light and peace and everything good tm uwu and pit her against an evil demonnnnn that just crawled out the earth one day (??) and was only evil and bad and dark and hate incarnate an hated the good tm gods bc hes jsut so eviiiil, it gave rise to the utter dissmissal of any sort of ganondorf related discussions (funny how it only seems to apply to ganondorf, and none of the other villains hmmmmmmmmmmmm) bc, while not confirmed confirmed (though the fandom likes to pretend that), hes now widely seen as a reincarnation of demise and thus, doesnt need nuance or be given any grace or thought bc apparently when you say someone is a demon (or its reincarnation, which i dont believe ganondorf is, to be clear) that means its fine to not give them any thought bc demons are just evil tm and thats ok and good writing actually (wat????)

(if you take skysw as canonically how it all went down bc my interpretation makes it all be a fabricated lie so the gods can play their little games, there is no godess reincarnation, that was a lie to make way for an opressive kingdom belivieing itself to be irrevocably good no matter what they do etc)

it also cheapens any of the past entries, all of them have been flattened by this, why disscuss ganondorfs motivation lol, he just be a demon/demons puppet, zelda could never be wrong or do bad things bc she literal incarnation of goodness uwu etc- (and then totk, only the second game after skysw, retreads its points and makes it even worse while ALSO trampeling over that game imo)

i dont like saying it, but i do feel a little alienated even from ganondorf fans (i love him too!!!!!) bc they hate demise, and rightfully so, it feels weird having your main blorbo be the reason your second fav is constantly done dirty, why you cant even talk about anything critically bc 'iTs jUst a sIMpLe fAiRytALe' now and part of the reason the lore in general has gone to shit, and i dont know how much i can talk about that before i become an obnoxious 'well ACTUALLY my blorbo, who is the reason for all this, is ALSO done dirty and im gonna explain away the bad stuff via my completely noncanon reinterpretation-' guy, or if i already am what im doing with destiny is like .. my way of trying to fix it and make it interesting again? though at this point i guess im falling into the category of people who change their blorbo so much that there really isnt anythign left of the og, which worries me alot, though i wonder if thats even possible given how little there is to him in the first place, i so often see viral posts that make me feel guilty or conflicted for the way i work with media, "actually my blorbo did all those crimes and thats good you all who need to explain away the bad things are weak and annoying!!" "people who change their favs until they barely resemble the character anymore should just make an oc instead!!"-

i dont know if i take these types of posts too literally, i dont know when or how they apply, but it always circles around in my head, i know not everyone can like what you do, but i want to work with the material i have in an interesting way, not a puritanical way (or however you call that), its not in my mind every second, but it nevertheless makes me doubt what i do with my fanworks anytime i talk about them-

... this wasnt really the point of the message was it ... apologies, i hope not every ask will devolve into a sort of mini rant ;__; i dont mean to invalidate what you said, (and im not saying skyward sword is all bad, its full of charm, from characters to designs, just the lore is .. damaging) it is incredibly touching bc me or my art having a positive impact on people blindsides me every single time like "WHAT??? IMPOSSIBLE you MUST be thinking of someone else, no way i could do that", when something gets brought up my thoughts just kinda start pouring out, i thought about deleting everything i wrote, but then felt like that wouldnt be as genuine anymore (i am not normal tm after all and im long past a point pretending otherwise) and have wasted another hour for nothing, so im gonne leave it in and hope, pray even, it comes across correctly

q-q

[mcdbutgay]

zoeymau cheebs (click for better quality + transparent pics)

some hcs below ^^ also i love how they complement each other so much GODDD

APHMAU SHALASHASKA

- aphmau shows up at phoenix drop’s doorstep pretty much half dead. no one knows where she came from, and upon waking up she doesn't remember who she is, where she's from, nothing.

- vylad carried her here because he knew that garroth was stationed in phoenix drop and he knew that the village was in dire need of help due to it being lordless; however it doesnt get revealed until way later.

- aphmau gets carried into the guard station which is where she resides for a period of time. zoey, who was visiting phoenix drop at the time (she was a wandering 'merchant' of sorts, looking for a permanent place to stay) feels a weird presence coming from her, not magical but also not normal, and decides to prolong her stay, healing aphmau back to health with garroth's supervision.

- aphmau wakes up and is sooo grateful they took care of her and decides that as payment she’s going to help make this mess of a village better (also she has no memory of anything that happened prior or why she ended up here anyway, so it’s not like she has anywhere else to go.)

- so she fixes up the roads and helps remodel some of the houses (i feel like this version of aphmau is much less princess-like and more handy than canon aph) garroth is very grateful for this

- anyway uh i dont actually have a lot of stuff for her since i find aphmau to be somewhat bland?? ig thats bc aph is meant to be jess for the majority of s1 but yeah uhh that needs to change. this aphmau is more rough around the edges, not afraid to fend for herself and those she cares for, but also very kind and compassionate. also very bubbly at times, but around those she trusts. she’s actually kind of against the idea of having guards follow her around all the time when she first becomes lord (because she believes she can do everything on her own), but later realizes that its much better to have backup bc the world is dangerous tm

- anywayz she grows closer to zoey when she moves into her house. she finds her presence weird at first but quickly gets used to her company, and she finds that waking up to the smell of tea everyday is soothing

- she is often sent out to the woods to gather whatever herbs zoey needs for her magicks. this quickly turns into aphmau trying to find pretty flowers to bring back to her pretty wife as a gesture of love friendship. sometimes she gets scolded bc she unknowingly brings back poisonous flowers or something but zoey knows that she does it with the best of intentions and thinks its kinda cute in a way.

- also aphmau brings back zoey pretty items from her travels, usually rings, necklaces, or even pretty rocks. zoey keeps them all in her room and looks at them while working on magicks stuff

- sorta angsty but i feel like aphmau definitely feels guilty for being absent for most of levin and malachi’s childhood. way in the future i feel like she and zoey would either adopt or have a biological kid of their own that they can both be present for, now that aphmau is no longer a lord and zoey is just enjoying her last lifetime with her beloved wife.

- OH AND i find it funny that they end up together since, at least in my canon, irene and zoey were a thing way back when. so like after irene left this plane or whatever and reincarnated as aphmau its like zoey and irene found themselves again in another lifetime (more on that in zoey’s section, which i actually wrote first)

- god i really don’t have much to say abt aph lol uh she’s bisexual (fem leaning, which is why she doesn’t rlly feel anything for garroth or laurence but does get flustered around guys sometimes) and demiromantic (takes a WHILE for her to feel any romantic attraction. again its why she doesn’t feel anything for G and L LMAO)

ZOEY TALTATHEIL

- was a devout follower and close friend of irene 900 years ago. zoey, although she wasn’t part of the divine warriors, was irene’s right hand woman, and would help her with decisions etc etc.

- she was kind of like a guard but not really lol. i do feel as though she began to mess around with barrier magicks as a way to protect irene, despite the fact that it got her exhiled from her home. she’d do anything to protect her.

- they were overall very close, but due to circumstances tm they had to separate. they never saw each other again sadly

- (although there are some books written by scholars that state that at some point lady irene had a certain lady friend who she lived with and shared intimate moments with. wonder who that is :P)

- ((also irene did have a family at some point, and levin is of her bloodline. he has blonde hair and blue eyes, guess who else has blonde hair and blue eyes? garroth ZOEY (and yes also garroth but thats a coincidence imo) so i think they are at least distantly related but very much so regardless))

- enough about irene. in zoey’s long 900~ year life she’s travelled to many regions, learned about many different cultures, and met many people, some who she did settle down with at some point. due to her immortality, however, she outlived all her previous partners and since then has been afraid to settle down with anyone, afraid of losing them to time

- it wasn’t until she met aphmau and levin (and later malachi) that she began to change her mind. she began to raise her children when she was away on lord duties, and she got VERY attached to them. she treated them as her own, and soon became accustomed to the idea of having a family

- she also began to see aphmau in a more romantic light at some point during s1. she didn’t know when the change from platonic to romantic feelings began but it didn’t matter. what mattered was that she had been raising another woman’s children as though they were her very own, cooking for the 4 of them like a happy family, and literally living the life she had always wanted without even realizing it.

- anyways she sleeps with aphmau in her room despite having her own room. she uses her room more as a workspace for her magicks

- also (and this is less about zoey and more about elves in general) i feel as though elves start out with dark colored hair and with the years it slowly lightens up until it’s completely white (doesn’t matter what color; zoey’s just happened to be blonde which is why she has platinum blonde hair pre-timeskip. it obviously doesn’t change this fast, but zoey giving up her immortality did speed up the process by a LOT which is why the change was so drastic in such a small amount of time (for an elf))

- speaking of her immortality, i feel as though it was the main reason that drove her to, you know, actually become a thing with aphmau. they were practically married pre-timeskip but they never really mentioned it, both scared they’d ruin what they had. aphmau being trapped in the irene dimension was the thing that drove her to spend years of her life studying, trying to get her closest friend, no, her lover back; losing her immortality was the final push to make it official. losing her immortality mean that they’d both pass within each other’s lifetimes, which is something zoey had always wanted (that sounds morbid but imagine being immortal and outliving all your loved ones.. i feel as though one can only take so much pain before it turns you crazy)

- anyways enough angst. since zoey has lived so long and has been all over the place, she has countless stories to tell and levin and malachi always loved hearing them. post-timeskip she tells the same stories to the children of phoenix drop in her spare time. she loves being around children and overall just loves caring for ppl ^__^

- as for like sexuality hcs uhh i can’t imagine her as anything but a lesbian lol

[lyss-sketchbox]

(To start, I've been enjoying reading your and folks' various perspectives on Natlan, it's interesting to see different breakdowns/thoughts)

I do have a theory on the flippancy though, and I may very well be horribly wrong, but I suspect it's intentional. The whole nation is being taught, more or less, that this war they're fighting is a game. It's fine if you die, we'll bring you back. It's fine if you fight the Abyss, we do it all the time. And yet. We see that folks' Ancient Names can be lost and not recovered, that you can't fully recover from Abyssal corrosion, and that hey, actually, Kachina is a terrified kid when we see that projection of her. It may even be part of why the nation is struggling so much with creating their Contending Fire. I also think Mavuika plays into this narrative.

Primarily, I think (or maybe just hope) her overconfidence is going to be her hubris. Traveller expresses concern about the time she has to gather the warriors and she's non-plussed, "eh, I trust the Wyob". She's got A Plan and it's going to work, according to her. But I dunno about that ma'am. She also says weirdly definitive statements that I don't think are fully accurate like "humans can't know their fate" and "the only thing that unites the Fatui are collecting the gnoses" that lead me to believe she puts full stock in her conclusions as soon as she feels she has an answer and doesn't exactly question any further.

Honestly? It would be nice if they set up this whole thing of the nation being so casual and Traveler buying into it only to tear it, crashing down, around everyone. How long can the nation avoid taking things seriously before everything comes to a head? (Perhaps why Capitano isn't interested in brute-forcing things overall? Or maybe I'm giving him too much credit, lol)

What an interesting take, genuinely

So Mavuika

It would definitely play the part of being a pyro archon and how pyro vision holders are often extremely confident and high spirited. It would make sense if the pyro archon embodies that kind of value.

This also lines up with what the previous anon said about how she wanted to be reincarnated because its HER plan and she wanted to see it through even if it means offing herself early.

(I dont remember the ending dialogue was i did it all at like 4 am so yeah please fight me on my takes)

She also seems very quick to make MASSIVE decisions like using a good chunk of her power to keep the Contending Flame alive right then and there even with the concerns of some people. Then she was just as quick to burn all the mementos gathered for centuries when the group sent to find Kachina didnt make it.

I feel like maybe she couldve waited before keeping the Contending Flame alive. And while the Contending Flame IS more importang than a single girl, based on the time we spent in the Night Kingdom. It doesnt... feel all that long. She couldve waited. Use her power to save us. Rest for a while then fan the Contending Flame. Saving us from the Night Kingdom didnt feel like a permanent loss of power while keeping the Contending Flame alive does.

To be honest, she IS human, WAS human before archonhood. Shes been human TWICE now due to her reincarnation. I can understand humans wanting to prove to higher powers and beings such as fate that they CAN hold power over themselves. But being human, being NATLANIAN means she has worshipped to Wayob as well at some point. Hence putting her faith more into them and their ancient names.

The Plot of Natlan

I will admit here that i am biased and there is only 2 acts so far. For all i know theyre still setting up the chekovs guns and they may pop oh so beautifully in late acts and i am too harsh on the set up acts.

But i can understand if the people of natlan has been trained their entire life to numb themselves of the true horrors of war. Because they live constantly in it, if they are in constant fear, it is not good for morales or the ancient name holders either.

And if they were written to be so chill so that hoyoverse can pull the rug under us even harder then well good on them because i will be COMPLETELY honest.

I cannot see them pulling this without making it cliche or shallow.

Because we all already know SOMETHING is gonna go wrong. The abyss will reach natlan. The contending flame will die. The 6 heroes will reawaken and help Mavuika fight off the abyss for good. We know it will happen. The only issue is how to get there and how to not make it cliche as fuck.

Because for one they pulled the anime training montage for Kachina where we get told she is actually really good, she has been training so hard with Mualani but we literally dont get to see or feel it. But oop she defeated mualani.

They pulled the power of friendship when Mualani talked back to lector in the night kingdom.

They already spoiled how Ororon was the traitor because HE WAS STANDING NEXT TO CAPITANO IN THE TRAILER.

It feels way too messy for me, way too unserious and uncoordinated both in game and advertisement materials. I almost feel like capitano, 1st of the fatui harbinger, probably shouldnt have been responsible for natlan because dude can out espionage them (or maybe natlan and capitano are both as equally uncoordinated who knows).

Well for NOW i think they have a generic base plot. I would be very willing to declare how wrong i was about natlan if act 3-5 managed to fucking mindblow me. But yeah as you can see i am not hopeful that hyv have half the brain you have about the plot.

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

(I. ran out of space in the tags 🥲 Read those first then the post. Also sorry if i sound odd or repeat a lot the same words, i tend to already think in circles on my own for Reasons (i am getting a diagnosis), so all this talk of repeating cycles is hard to think about while keeping a clear mind (and i am not a native english speaker). Also it's a hard thing to explain and i already have trouble explaining myself normally because i go on tangents i will otherwise forget lol. Which doesn't help here. I got overwhelmed by outside forces too which definetly didn't help.)

What i think is everything that could happen during a cycle has happened/will happen/is happening but if saint ascends you then that's the only thing that will happen regardless. That cycle doesn't change for you it's the only one that. Stops cycling? It's the only one that isn't a cycle and therefore it's impossible for it to have different outcomes, in your current timeline that stemmed from a particular version of a previous cycle. In other timelines it IS different but only because the cycle was different before your last one.

Basically it's. I don't think that's the right name for it but i'd call it a singularity. While every moment previous to that could create a different timeline, ascension by saint is the one thing that when it happens, it is the only thing that doesn't branch off into different timelines. Everything that happens after that can again start to branch off but you'll still be ascended in every possible following moment of every timeline since that. I'm still not making sense. i would draw a diagram but i can't draw

As for saint themself, i'm not sure what their fare means, but it think they are indeed an echo and in that they keep waking up in the same cycle that they already passed, though this time without very clear memories (like they know what happened but they don't recall it as something that has happened. So they do it again with the knowledge that they already have but they keep doing it because they haven't really, not in this version of the cycle), but then a different version of them also just. Moves on. It's not original saint maybe, but considering they're the only one that can't have the end they're granting others, i think that's a given. The other version i'm not sure of the logistics but they probably keep on going back to the physical world to continue their mission in every coming cycle. It's a different saint since it goes forward in time, but it's also the same one, just in a future cycle. They seem to want to ascend the iterators and they can understand them (i like to think its because a mark of communication would carry over if you came back from the void sea, even if it technically hasn't happened yet or might not happen this time).

So yeah in conclusion saint is the only one who is very very aware of every cycle they've ever lived and also the only one who is seemingly cursed to never be able to ascend. Their cycle isn't much different than everyone else's except instead of reincarnating when they die they just wake up again in the cycle they died in without going forward in any way like i said the others do in the tags (so it isn't possible for a timeline where saint has died to exist because it doesn't branch off. Because saint goes back). And the only way they sort of go forward in any way is by reincarnating back into themself after ascending and moving to ascend another iterator and therefore starting it all all over again, while the other version of them becomes an echo and starts the same cycle all over again, and they're aware of all of it. I think that's the terrible fate Pebbles, Moon and the echoes were talking about, and also the reason they can't see saint's beginning or end. In their perspective there isn't one, because the cycle has ended for them and they are unable to see anything other than that one. They cannot see anything but saint repeating the same cycle over and over again. I am not sure if they can see that they will go forward in other versions of themself but they sure are confused about it.

Not sure about the part where they doubt that it's real but seeing everything like that would probably not feel real to me either. Though it IS real to them. Having ascended, they will not wake up again, dream or not, real or not. Saint cannot ever truly ascend, and therefore will, and needs to wake up again. They crossed the point of no return, but even so they just end up back where they started. By taking a step back and choosing to wake up they are able to control it, i think? They don't just go back, they also go forward. If they didn't wake up again they would just become an echo. When they choose to wake up they go from echo to real again and what i said before can happen. If they didn't, they would just be an echo until they chose to wake up anyway.

Again sorry if i sound confusing or confused. I very much am confused but i wanted to at least try to even vaguely convey in what way exactly i (respectfully!) disagree. I hope i succeeded even a little bit.

Also. I'm glad you enjoy my rambles! I promise they're never going to be this long ever again. I hope :')

@salsa-di-pomodoro i do not mind and it's pretty interesting to read your takes.

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[jordynbreeloa777]

hey i just wannna ask you this question on how do you handle being religious and using loa at the same time . ths shit really make me avoid using loa and feeling guilty that i am doing something wrong lol .

also i love yr acc so muchhhh <3333

Hey anon! This topic is very important to talk about which i feel like hella ppl dont. I am Christian and was raised in a religious household. I found out about the law and it’s like every door opened for me. I was spiritually awake. I still do believe there is an outside creator since how could how look at the world, and say there isn’t one? I still use to believe in angel numbers, zodiac signs/astrology and the universe to. But i never believed in “Christian witches” and things of that nature. It’s kinda like pick a side and stick with it to me. I always felt guilty about it but then I realized what is we put on earth for? With the law i finally am getting everything i wanted so desperately and craved for just by being my own god, and creator. I do still feel guilty but I realized i have to put me first, and I’m done being a victim of my own reality. I still do believe in heaven or hell, since no i dont believe in reincarnation like Neville Goddard did, but I do think that when the time is right hopefully i can return back to being religious since I still have a though in the back of my head saying God is real and He does exist. I’m at the point of my journey where it’s kind of spiritual warfare a little bit. Like which side? Who do I go to in order to have faith? A man in the sky, who HAS DONE AMAZING THINGS IN MY LIFE, or myself? Since i dont know that if i was praying and assuming that if I ask God and pray 10 times a day he would give me what I granted or did I manifest that because i had the core assumption that me and His relationship together is close, and He will make my life easy. I still dont even know my own answers but do I think he is real, yes. Would I manifest for my family to stop being Christian no. Maybe i will return back to faith, but now I am loving my life. Finally i can say that. I love being in control of every little thing and aspect, and getting what I want because I know where the power comes from. me. it all starts within, always have, and always will.

Guilty, yes sometimes I do. I still identify as Christian, even though it’s wrong because I’m tore in half of what I want. I do like to be extremely careful with the “god” affs as long as it’s a lower case G. I do also realize a lot of people in the community don’t really talk about this. For a while, it did make me avoid loa, even though we never stop manifesting. I didn’t manifest and took a break for a year, and my life was hell. I was ugly, insecure, got bullied, bad grades, no friends, home life wasn’t all that good, wasn’t good at sports everything. This is such a good topic to touch on, and I may edit and add more in the future because i could talk about this for days on end. now that I’m spiritually awake, I don’t fully know what to side with. Do i enjoy getting every thing I want without knowing for sure or at least having the faith in an afterlife? Or be fully devoted Christian, and be unhappy with myself on how I look, or that my sp isn’t in love with me? Why would I stop now if I found the golden key? I finally have a say in what i want in my reality why would I stop now if everything been going in my favor?

I hope this answered since I still go to a Christian school which I’m not going to manifest away, but I don’t read the Bible and pray as much anymore. I would rather affirm and get every single thing I want in my own power and control then be a victim. I’m done with that. Even though It did feel so good when I prayed and got tingles in my heart, i still don’t know what i want for sure. Right now I am religious and usingLOA.

Hope this answered anon<3 Also thank you for liking my blog!💝💝

[crescencestudio]

hihi sorry to bother but i just wanna drop by and say i absolutely adored intertwine <3

van is the perfect boyfriend/husband and i died internally when we had that one life where our mc rejected him bc it just wasn't the right time for mc. i understood why but goddamn did it still hurt. i love the concept of the red string of fate, but it's always so heartbreaking when the things you want are just that little out of reach y'know?

moving on from the angst, there's almost something comforting in the way mc and van found each other in every life (or at the very least, the lives we've played through). it's the way they're always so inexplicably intertwined, (bc how many time can it happen before coincidences become fated) and the two will always, always meet, even if it doesn't always result in a happy end.

i think in the state of the world right now, i'm not the only one who feels 'alone'. during the lockdowns and everything, it's like the world and time have continued on, but we as humans have had almost 2 years of our lives stolen from us. i was barely 15 at the time the lockdowns started, and when i graduated college at 17, i don't think i've every truly felt that alone in all my life. maybe it's just me, but it's so... awkward(?) finding friends or meeting people now.

it's so relieving in a way to see van and mc, to see their love pass through hundreds maybe thousands of years of history and still recognize each other every time. i don't quite believe in reincarnation or anything like that, but it definitely gives me some peace of mind that maybe, just maybe, that someone loves me and we will find each other in this lifetime. and if not, we still have the next, don't we?

u r never a bother!! thank u for the sweet message, anon <333

i actually was surprised so many ppl were upset at the life that we reject van LMFAOSDIJFOIAWEJ IDK WHY I WAS SURPRISED.... by traditional otome standards, it's obviously a "bad ending" but i think my focus on self-love/independence was so high for that life that i didn't stop to realize ppl would see it as angsty or this bitter/sad event LOL

and i totally know what you mean. and i think a big part of intertwine for me is this idea of "connection." something that was important for me was to portray this idea that you dont have to Act a certain way, Speak a certain way, etc. to find love with Van. No matter what, you will find that connection. it's not something you have to find or work for, it's just something that Is. something that will naturally happen. and i think there's a lot of comfort in that idea, esp in a world right now that sometimes makes us feel like we have to Earn a human connection with someone

thank you for liking and playing, anon and for the sweet message <3

[yinyuedijun]

Help I have another idea I need to share sjdnkek

This one's a bit wild ig so bear with me ok??! It's fluffy too and non toxic I think. I hope. Pls tell me this isn't somehow creepy I'm sorry if it is skskdkkd

SO- Aventurine × Ena! Reader.

Ena being ofc, the Gaiathra Triclops. In this version, even though everyone believes Ena was assimilated into Xipe, that's not what really happened - Ena instead made a deal with Xipe, trusting the Harmony to uphold Order, and willingly gave up their path and power as an Aeon, choosing to reincarnate as a mortal. And before they gave up their power, they did two last things: first, guarantee that their reincarnation would regain at least some knowledge of their previous life, i.e knowing that they were an Aeon before. And second, give out one last blessing to one of the people they watched over - Kakavasha.

Ena goes on to reincarnate (I'm thinking something like the Dan Heng/Dan Feng situation, so reader has dreams of their previous memories and such, but is a completely different person to who Ena was), and Reader!Ena lives a pretty tranquil life as a mortal - while Kakavasha goes through hell, and loses faith in the Gaiathra Triclops. I haven't given much thought to how they meet, but maybe Ena!Reader goes to Penacony out of curiosity for what a land presided by Harmony is like (given that they know they used to be the Aeon of Order, and that they had previously chosen to entrust Harmony with their path.) and they run into Aventurine there - and they just know. They can feel Ena's blessing on him, and they're immediately drawn to him.

Getting to know each other, creating a bond, trusting each other until Aventurine can open up about his past with them, and reader reveals their identity, and suddenly everything changes for him - he wasn't abandoned by his God, but rather they'd given him their final blessing before they passed - and reader has this strong urge to cherish and protect him, not because he's the child blessed by Ena, but because they've fallen for him. The complicated relationship they'll have to sort out where Kakavasha feels like Reader is a gift sent by Gaiathra, while Reader cherishes and worships him like he's the divine one. Aventurine being loved unconditionally and cherished for the first time, being basically worshiped by the Reader.. being treated like he's the most precious thing in the world, being looked at with pure love and adoration. The hurt, the confusion, the fear of being loved.. maybe reader can have some issues too and be so wholly devoted they'd do anything for him, no matter how much it might harm them, just to add a bit more trouble to work on.

I don't think I'll ever actually write any of my ideas (even though I do have a writing blog lmao) bc I'm too insecure about my writing and my inspiration bursts are too inconsistent, but thank you for reading my silly thoughts and letting me share them lol I really appreciate it, especially bc you're one of my favorite writers here <3

- Penacony DH smut anon (lol)

I DONT THINK ITS CREEPY AT ALL!! I adore reincarnation romances and I have a particular fondness for reincarnated deity romances. It would be so interesting to see Aventurine process this news. I really like the phrase you used wrt "the fear of being loved" - I think Aventurine would suffer very, very intensely from this fear under regular circumstances with a human. I can only imagine the state of panic he'd be in if he were the object of affection of the god who supposedly forsook him. augflgsjsk it would be so juicy... reader too I'm sure they're full of many complicated feelings just like dan heng is (I bet the two of them would be besties)

I'm sad hearing that you feel you won't write your ideas, I think they are so brilliant and I love reading them 🥺 you're always welcome to share them here - but please let me know if you do ever decide to post something, I'd love to read and reblog it <333

[kaleuh]

Day 272: What was the worst thing to happen to you in middle school?

ok true story a friendgroup i was in had this girl who lied about being psychic and told all of us that she was the reincarnation of sailor moon and that we were all her scouts and i was such a sad kid that i really wanted to believe it and really didn't want to accept the lie because things were bad at home so she would literally have us do the stupidest shit for her until i was like This Sucks so i started shit talking her really bad and it culminated in me starting a fight and pushing one of her friends in front of the entire cafeteria . ppl really aren't lying when they say that winning a fight gets you some street cred lol but i dont like fighting and i dont like when friendships go sour so it's not a particularly good memory even though it is, REALLY REALLY funny in hindsight

[mangoyakult]

tw reality vent dump? i went deep on this lowkey

lets talk about the effect (my) phone addictions have on perceiving reality. you become so used to the online world and are engrossed in it that you cant fathom the reality of the real world. once a blue moon you get the opposite of dissociation where you come to the realisation that real life has an end and it will keep moving on without you, without your favourite shows, ESPECIALLY the bit about how it will move on even after your shows, loved ones, etc end.

its hard to talk about it when im NOT currently in this state of mind so if i remember i'll come back and reblog and talk about it more when i am in that state of mind, but like it just hits you like a cement truck that (and i know it sounds cliche) we are just on a floating ball in space.

everything you know will come to an end and you wont know about it because i believe you experience "life after death" in the same way you experience life before you were born. in the same way that blind people dont see black, they see nothing, its not there. if you close one eye, you dont see anything out of it, thats what i believe death will be like, and its the one thing keeping me from going insane when i get these thoughts but also it makes me spiral even more.

i think about how i'll miss loved ones but then i remember i won't miss it because i won't experience anything. times like this i wish i believed in a religion, i wish i believed in the afterlife, and a part of me does, a part of me believes in ghosts and reincarnation.

wild take that might offend several people but the same way that over hundreds and thousands of years humans fled to religion to distract their minds from these thoughts, i flee to my phone and silly blorpos to distract my mind from these thoughts. except im wayy less productive than them lol they full on built massive cathedrals and monuments and statues dedicated to these ethereal beings and i just go haha funny orangutang with the play dough ur so silly.

i don't stay up all night because i have an addiction to games and my phone, i stay up all night til i pass out because if im not entirely tired ready to pass out, my mind will be racing with all these horrible thoughts i cant remove from my brain and i will wake up with puffy eyelids.

idk these are my thoughts this is what happens when you take away tiktok doom scrolling from me

and i know a lot of you will tell me to get hobbies and friends and hang out and have fun but when i get these "episodes" i genuinely feel like thats the ONLY thing i can do. if i'm not watching my blorbos or hanging with friends, or crocheting or gaming or drawing, life is meaningless and why am i waking up 6 mornings with no plan waiting for the end of the week where i can finally see someone and hang and be happy

i think i'm in a state of burnout, i only have one spoon per week and i'm already using it to go to work because yeah i work like twice a week i'm not home all day, i have uni i go to occasionally, but its so tiring and though i am as far away as possible to suicide (remember my little fear of death above?) i just want like a break month where i can do nothing and chill without any pressures

i think about moving out and growing up and possibly having kids and a partner and i feel as though i'm not prepared for that. mentally i'm 13 and i just want to go to high school, play with friends, yap about gravity falls and other hot shows of that era

i physically can't envision myself as an adult yet i am one, i physically can't wrap my mind around simple concepts most adults understand, like taxes and bills and a lot of things. trust me i've tried! and now i'm on my fourth year of tax evasion because i just don't know how they work!

i gotta stop talking bc lowkey i'm getting myself into this damn mindset and i have work soon and customers are damn near horrible and i have to fake a smile for them

[themediummultiverseau]

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 27

woke up from long rest. senna still cant contact her god. wheatley is asking zen where organics go when they die wtf. he guesses it depends on ones faith. for example organics that worshipped robotgod now live in his domain and some of them are even robots now! most are in the giant tube. teya is horrified lol. wheatley asks teya what will happen to her lol. zen says he knows? the souls that dont believe just get reincarnated. wheatley wants to meet teya again lol. zen comments teya wont be herself anymore but shuts up lol.

wheatley asks senna and she says bad people go to bad places but good people can just kinda choose where to go. wheatley wants to meet her again and she gives him a fond sad smile. SP rolls over to teya and sits on her foot. wheatley wants to ask parsley lol. SP rolls into parsleys tent and scares the shit outta him. he rolls out, knocks, then goes back in. 'parsley, fetch!' 'SP you have to wait for a response!' 'i heard you?' 'you have to wait for an ok!' SP rolls out and keeps knocking on the tent. parsley sighs and lets him in.

"Parsley, die?" he blinks and says no. SP rolls out to wheatley and says "Parsley no die." wheatley doesnt think fairies are immortal. time to question him lol. Parsley shrugs and thinks he gets reborn he has no idea. wheatley just wants everyone to get reincarnated. senna says teya is a good person and can get reincarnated if she wants. parsley feeds rouge weird morning. teya wandered off lol.

android asks what he expects and wheatley shrugs. death is unavoidable for us wheatley hates that lol. senna says death is natural and its important what we do while were alive. wheatley says its still too short. she places her hands on his shoulders and says she wasted enough of her life, now she lives each day to its fullest. no regrets doing that. wobbly eye texture. hes scared. she says she can see him as much as he wants. now he looks conflicted.

"But we have places to go back to." "But we can spend time together anytime." "But your gonna leave." "But thats what memories are for." wheatley looks more conflicted. his memories are unreliable. senna says he still has the feelings. memories are feelings. its complicated. he says she could go with them? 'what?' become a robot senna join my metal band. senna sighs sadly and pats wheatley. "Your god would not want my prayers. And converting just for immortality seems extremely selfish. I know my path and my end. I am not afraid of where i go. Do not mourn for me,please. Simply remember what path i chose for myself." he nods sadly and goes to do repairs on SP to avoid us lol.

senna messages teya to let her know what and goes to play solo shogi. parsley is awkwardly taking down his tent lol. now hes talking to rouge and trying to make her turn into a bracelet. SP rolls over to senna and the two of them stack the pieces aww. wheatley is trying hard to preserve and backup these memories. wheatley is sitting with zen quietly. zen pats him. teya messages parsley she wants to talk. hes being dense on purpose lol.

teya sighs and goes to find him. she comes to camp and grabs parsley xD parsley yells at wheatley to help but he stays still. android smirks and waves bye. parsley starts hitting teya in the arm. wheatley asks senna to show him shogi. parsley escaped lol and flies out of reach. parsleys axe of warning starts going off! prepare for trouble!

we hear a high pitched cry and a giant hawk goes toward parsley! he dodges! wheatley shoots it and it flies off lol. parsley flips it off. he lands and dusts himself off. teya grabs him again lol. he escaped! zen asks what teya wants with parsley. parsley says its not important and we should just leave but teya is like no dumbass. wheatley begins working on his human form i suppose?

wheatley called parsley a dick then says you are what you eat. SP rolls over to parsley and asks if he eats dick. senna cant breathe shes laughing too hard. parsley is also dying lol. wheatley has to collect SP lol. teya tried to grab parsley again. once more he escapes. wheatley grabs parsleys wrist. just let teya do what she wants right now lol. parsley wants to drop it. wheatley says nah. teya doesnt wanna force this but its important cause she cares. parsley just wants to forget this. teya sighs and apologizes to parsley about something. parsley is like this is too personal and agrees to walk off with teya lol.

teya apolgizes for hurting parsley. hes so awkward hes not looking at her lol. meanwhile wheatley plays shogi against android. senna watches. wheatley is getting his ass beat. SP rolls over, puts down a piece, beats android in 1 move, and leaves. parsley kicks the ground and sighs. he doesnt want an apology hes fine hes totally lying lol. shes sorry cause she threw something personal back in his face. he scoffs and says he said that as a warning and is glad she took it to heart. now their arguing cause hes being a bitch lol. teya says hes important to her and that shuts him up. how was he supposed to know that, by observing dumbass.

teya calls him a dense asshole. hes so confused wtf. bonds are a foreign concept to him i guess lol. he just throws his hands up lol. teya grumbles and shoves the journel at parsley and stomps off. parsley is celebrating something now? oh no. now he cant bring it up lol.

meanwhile android is beating wheatley very much at shogi lol. teya makes it back to camp. senna comments teya is a bit red. teya says parsley is clueless lol. senna walks over and gives her a 4-leaf clover she found. wheatley asks and teya says she had to apologize and stuff. android says she doesnt think before acting. SP rolls into the woods to find parsley. he sits on his foot lol. he fetched parsley xD

when they get back SP yells he fetched parsley xD wheatley says senna wont help him cheat at shogi xD parsley offers to eat the pieces and senna says their rocks dont do that. hes eaten rocks before what. android says he hopes parsley knocks out his teeth. parsley says he will shoot his teeth like bullets. wheatley is freaking out lol. parsley is just laughing. androids gonna fucking hit him. wheatley tries to stop android and trips. senna notices and moves between both android and parsley 'ok thats enough.' time to finish packing up. wheatley gives SP his own sending stone lol.

parsley shoves the book back at teya and walked away lol. their good apparently lol. teya passes the journal to wheatley lol. android peeks over to read it lol. teya is pissed at him now. she says him reading it means he gives a shit lol. android says he wants to read something humerous. teya literally stands between android and the book xD wheatley keeps making noises and stuff so now android is more interested but no effort lol. wheatley says we should mind connect again sometime :P wheatley started reading some of it outloud and senna covered her ears. he tells teya to stop being reckless.

teya implies if she cant keep us safe shes better off dead so uh thats fucked. senna removes her hands and asks what happaned. wheatley goes to zen and says what teya said. senna stomps over and hoists teya in the air and says she is blessed to have gotten a second shot and isnt allowed to just throw it away recklessly. senna tells teya to drop the book they gotta look for more concerning info lol. teya lets wheatley takes the book. senna carries her away lol. the guys are now face deep in the book sksksk.

teya summons her familiar nova! kitty! wheatley taps the last paraghraph and shows parsley. parsley buffers cause raises of hands for people caring about him lol. senna finally puts teya down sadge. wheatley grabs zens hand and goes toward teya but she hidden steps aww. parsley uses fairy fire to find teya lol. teya sighs and goes into the network with wheatley. congrats teya feel the love. and wheatley feels all of teyas anxiety lol. soulmates but wheatley has no soul lol. sharing the loneliness.

teya fucking tries digging in wheatleys memories to see what happaned after the portal. wheatley panics, teya wtf. zen puts a stop to it immediately, dont do that wtf. unconnected. very disappointed in her right now. senna asks wtf did she do. wheatley interrupts zen saying he wasnt trying to let his fear of being abandoned show. stay out of there teya like wtf. your sleeping on the couch. wheatley tries telling us not to be mad at teya. parsley is staring at the ground. he tries to shake it off. he cant lie so hes just saying silent lol. he finally says hes fine but takes damage and flinches lol.

senna calls him out on lying lol. he says no-maybe stop looking at me xD senna sighs and turns to teya and says she showed an extreme lack of respect for wheatley. wheatley just wants them to stop fighting. teya says she was just worried cause he was hiding his fear. he says he didnt want to make her feel bad. she tries to be an open book. senna, with near disgust, just walks away. SP follows sadly trundling along.

[scourgefrontiers]

oh right uhhhh spiritual talk under cut bc ive been thinking about it

so some of u may remember when i practiced buddhism like..two or three times. lol.

the reason i gave up on it each time wasnt out of boredom or something like..malicious or whatever. it was bc i genuinely thought i couldnt live up to the teachings of the buddha. i couldnt understand how i could properly practice buddhism without messing up or doing it wrong or not understanding it in the right way, and i felt bad for not doing it right, so i didnt do it at all.

one of the big hang ups i had with buddhism was how it teaches forgiveness. like, forgiving everyone no matter what basically, bc if you hang on to these feelings itll cause suffering. and for a long time, up until last night actually, i didnt understand how this was possible for me so i didnt think i could live up to that standard.

but after talking with ruby last night i realized my perception of forgiveness was like...wrong? i always equated forgiveness with "thinking everything is okay now" which isnt what forgiveness is i dont think. we talked about it and now im under the understanding that forgiveness is letting go. its not allowing these ill feelings and bad people to own you anymore and live rent free in your head. its not a requirement to feel ok with what happened, its not a requirement to say "yeah its fine now and what you did doesnt matter anymore". its about letting go of them and not letting them rule you anymore

i think with that understanding i feel like i finally understand that part of buddhism? and. god i feel really silly for saying this. but im considering taking up practicing buddhism again. i hate looking so flaky with spirituality like this since ive been an "on and off buddhist" for years and i dont want it to seem like im treating it as an accessory because im not. i just feel like theres a Reason i keep getting attracted to it and coming back to it. idk. maybe i wanna try again after all

another thing that kind of hung me up was the meditation and mindfulness part and i gotta tell you as someone with unmedicated adhd these two things are SO hard for me lol. but honestly i dont think it matters as much as i thought it did? i do believe in reincarnation which aligns with buddhism, and i know for a fact i dont have to get it all right on this try, or even on the next ten. if i struggle with meditation and mindfulness in this life for one reason or another, then i'll get it in another one. its fine. life is a cycle until you reach nirvana and i am not about to reach nirvana tomorrow LMAO

so erm. tl;dr i might take up buddhism again after i look into it more bc now i have new understandings of things i struggled with before <3

[sugar-omi]

aaaaaa thank you im really glad you like it (both the writing and drawings aaa)!! 🥺👉👈 if you want to share the link you want, but i appreciate you making sure if i was okay with it first! 💕

i want to draw some stuff with cove and his experiences with the timeline reset stuff and i will send it your way if i do 😭😭😭

aND AOUGH I FEEL THAT SO MUCH,,, ricky montgomery, cavetown, and mxmtoon (and also conan gray!) give me so many fcuking emotions when i think about different characters and scenarios. also line without a hook makes me think about cove and aaaaaa

oh and one more brainworm i had sdfklj like i thought about mc when you mentioned them and how theyre like just vibing with qiu and tamarack in golden grove and i think that like,,,,one of the differences that makes them and jamie/frankie different is that they dont have the continued experience of baxter just slipping through their fingers all the time, with cove he was always there, he was a constant for them. jamie/frankie constantly fears losing the person they love the most and always ending up alone, while mc doesnt have that inherent fear. i really can see mc having told cove that they would always look for him at the end of watching that play at the theater and they absolutely mean it and they hold onto that tiny hope somewhere in them that even though they feel like something is off or missing that they will find it, they just have to keep trying (if they have the shell/friendship bracelet too this also helps i think in reassurance that what they feel inside isnt just their imagination, it isnt just a dream) - 🕐

ofc!! <3 everyone needs to see it its so AAAA my brain worms are worming today too omg *link

omg not conan gray

I love him but he makes my heart hurt!!!! some of his songs are my family issue anthems like pls!! that man is a genius

also yeah!!! I thought the parallel was brilliant if I may say so myself 😎

mc!2 always worrying abt losing someone close to them, even after years of being together n things being good, sometimes the fear strikes them. they'll wake up several times in the middle of the night just to check cove is there...

whereas mc!1 is always filling themselves w baxter. being with him, touching him, doing things for him. just making everything about him, consuming him and everything he is because he's everything they've been missing and what's making them feel whole, he's what they've been looking for and they're going to make sure they never feel empty ever again.

also I love going to see a play w cove!!! I always choose it. I believe in reincarnation n I want cove to have that assurance too 🥹

mmm I'm tryna think abt my cove song

I'd say nonsense by Sabrina carpenter I think. ngl I mainly listen to sex songs or sad songs, rap, or emo/punk 💀💀💀 n pop n indie ofc

my taste is limited lately lol I'm very picky

OMG SZA'S "SPECIAL" IS SO THIS AU?? or it could be the og leaving cove for baxter spiral.... it kinda fits maybe "far" fits this reset au better? mmm