#i dont care about numbers
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what fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me (please don’t look at me)
#mouthwashing#art#anya mouthwashing#anya#illustration#artists on tumblr#fanart#mouthwashing fanart#lyrics from ptolomaea by ethel cain#abort that thang anya#i played the funny game#i have many thoughts. number one being i think we need to learn to not fandomify every piece of media#like yes please draw fanart and have fun and stuff#but maybe interact with the characters that are abusers and abuser apologists a little more carefully!#specifically curly. lots of people woobify him when hes an enabler#obviously not a bad person inherently but a lot more nuanced than it seems. i dont really like seeing anya x curly art#he took away her autonomy in the game after she told him abt jimmy. i think they cared about each other but its deeper than surface level#anyway good game. yeah
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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double whammy of invoking bioessentialism for media analysis and then namedropping shonen manga as the best female character writing you've ever exposed yourself to.
#the fact that u think being 'an afab' is an important caveat for your opinion on the writing of female characters speaks volumes#not to say that the women in CSM aren't written well! thats not the point im making!#but i just think that if your number one pull for female character writing is shonen manga with a male protagonist#then you probably dont actually care about female characters that much.
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hsr women...
#at this point i dont care about long-living thing as excuse to make women of loufu to look like teens... I WANT THEM TO BE OLD!!!!!!!#also in my hsr rewriting fu xuan and qingque are actually closest friends and partners in gossip...#qingque still slacks off most of the time and fu xuan still scolds her but out of work they're best buddies#i just want old women friendship!!!#ruan mei is close to becoming my roman empire..I WANT TO FEEL HER..I WANT TO GIVE HER MY PERSPECTIVE OF SUCH WOMAN#sparkle is here for even number cuz i'm still at xiangzhou quest and don't know much about her..just wanted to draw her fat..#but i promise ill make my own design for her...a mix of roaring 20s and japan taisho period#just because i can#honkai star rail#hsr#fu xuan#qingque#ruan mei#hsr sparkle#hsr hanabi#fat ruan mei#fat sparkle#fat art#sketch tag#my art
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Sam literally has no idea who Dean is starting out in Season 1. I know we all say this all the time... but rewatching 1.03 Dead In The Water last night, it isn't just that Sam thinks that Dean doesn't like kids. It's also how in the same episode, when Dean decides not to take the out the sheriff gave them and turns around to check on Lucas and his mom, Sam is like, "Who are you and what have you done with my brother??"
And that combined with 1.02 "Saving People, Hunting Things, the Family Business" makes me think like. Oh. Sam really doesn't understand why Dean hunts at all. He has no idea that Dean actually cares about the victims and his primary directive is protecting people he doesn't even know because he loves them—because Dean loves everyone and wants to give them what he can't have. Dean is so conflated with John in Sam's mind that they're virtually the same person to him, and apparently in this situation, John would have taken the out and prioritized protecting their family from the law over making sure the hunt was finished.
This is literally Sam's first time ever hunting one-on-one with Dean and not Dean&John. So every time he's ever hunted with Dean, it was John's plan and John's principles and John's prime directive. Sam never understood that just because Dean followed orders, his own motivations were not the same as their fathers. He never understood Dean's actions as anything other than an extension of their father's feelings and will.
#1.02#1.03#pk rewatches spn number ?#winter hunger#<- blacklist for previous copies#the one who cares#dean the narrative heart#deans moral compass#season 1#john#the flannel business#we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone#i dont deserve what he put on me
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man... i was going through my 15 year old deviantart account and i actually really really miss that site. like tumblr is fun and insta is.. insta... but i dont think since then there's been such an art-focused community with so many people talking to each other and commenting on each others work quite like deviantart
(ofc massive disclaimer that i probably have some rose-tinted vision and the site was full of creeps and pedos... so if we could just have the good parts of it back LMAO)
#i was obsessed with it as a teen and definitely posted some risky stuff that adult me would be like do NOT SHARE THAT ON THE INTERNET#but also it was so nice to have a selection of online art friends#it felt like a proper community which i didnt have irl#nowadays posting art online feels more.. idk? like ur presenting something to an algorithm to make the number go up#i dont care about engagement nearly as much as i used to but its hard not to get pulled in when every fuckin site is like this#deviantart felt more intimate and like youre sharing your art with friends and talking about it#..except there's that one friend who REALLY wants you to draw some feet#s text#anyway a few of you guys still follow me from the deviantart days and just let it be known i remember u and love u and hope life is good <3
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everyone always talks about kudos:hit ratio but no one ever talks about public:private bookmark ratio, which is unfailingly hilarious for every xreader and dark content writer I know
#I DONT actually care about priv bookmarks to be clear i just find it super funny#to be clear the left is the total/actual number of bookmarks and the right is the public bookmarks displayed on the fic#yueshuo
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finished season 3 recently. in my HUMBLE opinion i think he should have gotten a kitten too
#the heron giveth#first fargo post‼️fuck me i have never posted in this tag before okay ummmmmmm. okay here we go#fargo fx#mr wrench#wes wrench#mr numbers#grady numbers#technically. TECHNICALLY.#if theres more tags that this could go under i dont care#anyways hello lgbt community im in your house now#i was way too lazy to do a background so i took the screenshot of wes sipping whiskey in the bowling alley and blurred the shit out of it#swagever. i have my own theories about this scene and what wes was doing over there while nikki was hangin out with kitten ray but for now#kitten grady is extremely cute to me. i have more drawings to share later. youll be hearing from me again soon.......
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13 for the prompt or 131 if someone took it lol
Untenable
adjective
(especially of a position or view) not able to be maintained or defended against attack or objection.
I can't think of a more untenable position than thinking someone you "care" about shouldn't have woken up from their 6 month coma :(
#btw for context on the numbers i have a 275 word list for words i find that i dont really know and find interesting#this was the first thing i thought of#im in basira and georgies anons telling them to kys for this lmao#tma#the magnus archives#georgie barker#basira hussain#jonathan sims#goobarts#i dont care about cleaning this up or making it look nicer bc the whole thing makes me so mad#angst#imagine taking such an L
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I miss making kandi but haven't had the energy to do so in some time, here's some I made yesterday for my new plushies 💖
#my art#kandi#kandicore#kandi bracelet#scene#scenecore#y2k#rainbow#rainbowcore#plushie#plushcore#plushblr#pokemon#scolipede#tw centipede#alien#green alien#aliencore#random tags so people can see cute images i made#i really dont care about numbers on this kind of post lmao
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got asked by three separate coworkers what my pronouns were today they’ve all known me for 2-14 months. and i just said. Its whatever.
#how to explain my number one priority is not getting harassed at work for being trans so i don’t actually care that much about what pronouns#you use. ill take the misgendering if it means i dont have to put myself at risk. + i dont think any of you care about me as a person really#so it doesn’t matter#im your coworker rn who gaf about my gender#kora.txt#its not really whatever i like going by he. But.
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Not me writing a prologue for a fic I'll maybe never write about Steve being on the Dream Team lmao. I saw a pro basketball player Steve post a while ago and couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyways-
At the end of March Madness in 1989, the scout for the Pacers has lunch with the head coach of a community college basketball team that somehow made it to the first round before being pulverized. They sit across from each other, the coach seemingly a bit overwhelmed but not outright surprised. That's good, it means Jerry, the scout, doesn't have to worry about him freaking out or babbling too much.
The team captain had caught his, and possibly others', eye. Good layups, a few three pointers, solid defence, and a helluva lot of potential add up to someone to keep an eye on, except they can't because the guy plays for a rinky-dink community college and only had one televised game. The only reason Jerry saw the kid is because the Roane County Community College Ospreys had put in a hell of a fight the past three seasons. Jerry wonders why the hell the kid hadn't been offered a scholarship somewhere...not Roane County. Doesn't matter though, because they're here now.
"so. You wanted to talk about Steve?" Says the coach, August Nearaly, a bit weary.
Jerry nods, sipping his coffee. "Yeah. Wanted to get a sense of him before I actually talked to him."
August sighs. "As a player or as a person?"
Raising his eyebrows. "Is he that different off the court?"
"no! No, not like how you probably think. Harrington's a sweet kid, but also incredibly...well, not weird, but. Peculiar? He's got quirks. Bit paranoid, but not in a conspiracy way. In a 'no one should walk home alone in the dark' or 'hey, where'd John go? He was right here and then I did a headcount and he's not?' kinda way. Y'know? Like, they're all adults, but he does headcounts and worries anyways."
"huh. Oookay?"
"it-- I'm not saying this to rag on him, to be clear. It just too a while to get used to. Honestly, it's been good for team building. Makes them think of each other not as individuals, but part of a unit that needs everyone healthy and whole to work."
"that's good. He's a team player."
"oh yeah. It's not surprising, really. He's from Hawkins." August says the name like Jerry should know what that means. It's a town, sure, but other than that... Jerry's at a loss. Maybe something a few years ago about a fire? "He has most assists in Osprey history. Some of the guys joke that he's allergic to the ball."
"He's good on the court?"
"Jerry. I know you're here because you saw the March Madness game. You know he's good. He'd be even better if he could afford those fancy prescription goggles Horace Grant wears."
"seriously? Why not contacts?"
"don't make them for his prescription. You didn't see his interview? Kid's got thick horn rimmed glasses. Too many concussions apparently. God knows how he tells players apart when the jersey colours are similar."
"shit. That's why he was squinting the whole time? I thought he was just stressed."
He shrugged. "eh. Probably a bit of both. He takes it seriously, but not too seriously. Y'know? Half the guys were shitting themselves from nerves and Harrington stands up in the locker room, hands on his hips, and gives a speech worthy of the most melodramatic underdog sports movie."
Jerry laughs. "No shit."
Waving his hands, August nods. "no shit! He says all this stuff like 'we worked hard...we deserve this...we may not win but let's do our damn best. The worst that could happen is we lose, and that isn't the end of the world. So let's go out there and play some basketball!' or something, his was better, and the boys cheer. Then they put in fifty points to one-thirty."
Jerry winces. "Must have hurt, huh?"
August grins. "No way. One of the best games they ever played. You saw it. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't. They played their goddamn hearts out." He leans forward. "My boys don't have the same facilities as the big universities, or the funding to offer scholarships. They're at Roane Community because they want a degree or certificate but have other responsibilities. Parents or siblings to stay close to, jobs to work, people to take care of. They joined my team because they like playing basketball, loved the game and wanted to spend some of their precious time playing it. They put the work in on the court and off it. And we made it to the NCAA tournament because of it. We put in fifty points against the goddamn Michigan Wolverines! The champs! And they knew that. I've never heard of a locker room after an 80 point defeat so happy."
"seriously?"
It's all pride when Coach Nearaly says "yep. They may not be the best basketball players in college, but my god, they're probably the best team."
"because of Harrington?"
"partly. They all contribute, make sure they do things right. It's not a one man show, that's the point. They rally around him, but they all are part of the team, and know it. That's what Steve makes sure. Why I made him captain."
"So, you think he'd be a good pick for the Pacers?" This is, after all, a business meeting.
August nods, picks at his pancakes. "I'll be honest with you Jerry. You're not the first scout to talk to me about Steve."
"really? Who?"
"you know I won't say. But, between me and you, Steve's Indiana born and bred. His wife's planning on getting some lib Arts degree in Chicago or Indy, and your offer might be the deciding factor for them."
Jerry blinks. "He's married? At, what? Twenty-one?"
August nods. "Just turned twenty-two. High school sweethearts or something. Obsessed with each other." He chuckled, a bit ruefully. "I'm a bit jaded but damn. You mention her name? He lights up like the fuckin Fourth of July."
Jerry whistles. "Honeymoon phase gets us all."
"for almost two years? Nah. It's just love." It sounds a little wistful, coming from August. "Anyways. I dunno if the other team is serious about him, and if they are, they'll probably be disappointed. Kid isn't moving out of the Midwest. He's got family here, and is getting a goddamn elementary education degree. He won't uproot his life for a chance at the NBA. But, if you offer. Well. He'd at least seriously consider it."
Humming, Jerry chews his eggs as he thinks. "You think he'd be up for the lifestyle? The road games out numbering home ones?"
There's an air of seriousness when August levels Jerry with a look. "If he doesn't want to, he'll tell you. You gotta give him time to talk to his family though. This offer? It'll come out of left field for him, even if I give him a heads up. You get that, yeah? You want to recruit a kindergarten teacher to the NBA without any build up. He needs time to process that and then see where the people in his life are at with it."
"I guess it is unusual."
"try being the community college basketball coach getting two goddamn calls from NBA scouts. Thought I was hallucinating."
Jerry laughs, counts some bills for the tip. "Thank you. For your time and insights. Let Steve know I'll call tomorrow?"
"will do. He'll still probably drob the phone on you, though."
"as long as he doesn't hang up!"
#Steve Harrington#platonic stobin#steddie#stranger things#qpr stobin#teacher steve harrington#stobin#dream team steve au#listen. famous basketball player steve is friends with lead guitarist Eddie Summons (alias to not be as connected to the who 86 thing)#steve and his friends have a very nice vacation in the summer of 92 to Barcelona.....#literally none of the characters are here its just two randos talking about steve lmao#finda writes stuff#finda's rambles#also hos number is 52 because that adds up to seven hehe#sorry to the guy who actually got drafted by the pacers in 89 but i dont care#also. my experience with team sports is that one time we won handily but felt bad because we didnt play very well and we could FEEL it#and the next game we got pummeled but played so much better and could feel the team come together it was magical
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you cannot convince me Brother Guy killed Otto because you cannot convince me Brother Guy is the kind of person who would go somewhere because a cryptic note told him to. seriously the man spends two days barricaded in a library by angry peasants and the person investigating the murder that's going to get them all killed if he doesn't throw someone to the mob hates his fucking guts and possibly threatened to deck him TWICE and yet every time you show up with evidence of his shady behavior, he's still like "hon hon, prove it." like my brother in Christ, you ARE the most suspicious person involved. so yeah, you cannot tell me this smarmy bitch looked at that note and didn't go
#free my boy he did contribute to the oppressive and worsening taxes in Tassing which inevitably led to a peasant revolt but i dont care#pentiment#brother guy of dijon#joke tag#obviously i get why he doesn't confess to the embezzlement for a number of reasons#but he's right about how it's not in his character to go kill someone over something vague when he also had the means to flee town
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something has possessed me i think bc why am i in the year 2024 thinking about merlin/gwaine but also merlin/lancelot but also gwaine/merlin/lancelot. what have i done to deserve this
#merlin#bbc merlin#bbc gwaine#bbc lancelot#in truth this is not surprising at all#gwaine is my favorite character#and there is no world in which gwaine didnt know about merlins magic#i love the merlin tv show so much#it couldve been so much better. IT COULDVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTERRRR#and no one knows just how much this show means to me#like in terms of comfort shows this is the number one#even though i dont rewatch it all that often#i think about it so much#chat do i rewatch merlin in its entirety for the first time in years#i usually just rewatch my favorite eps#the ones with gwaine as a main character#and the ones that make me sad#i also love lancelot so much and i do kind of hate how the show did him SORRY#when morgana brings him back. love my toxic queen but i cant watch it#to me gwen was always in love with arthur and morgana#idc about actual legends i care about the tv show#one day ill read some retelling of the whatever and WHATEVER#but. i can feel how i want#the way i view the various different ships... its wild#like i can go into depth one day... but not today IM TIREDDD#sorry im rambling its 3am and ive had a rough few days rip#im gonna take some melatonin and go sleep good lord#why does my pc think melatonin isnt a word its literally a drug???? whatever#anyway. ramble OVER i need SLEEP
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i hate that Media Literacy is the latest new thing the tortured underground posters of tumblr have latched their sense of moral superiority to bc like like here's a life skill that's actually essential, invaluable, incredibly important for navigating day-to-day life, that is objectively a Good Thing, a lack of which is something that ought to be cause for concern (all of which is unlike previous subjects that have been paraded around as Indicators of Superiority like having sex and doing drugs and going to clubs or whatever when theyre literally just things people choose to do) but people on this site cannot go a single day without being so fucking condescending about it and making it less about "genuine issue in modern society we should talk more about" and more "uhhhh i interpreted this anime Better Than You Did which means im better and smarter than you completely ignoring the fact this is a skill that is learned/taught and not born with and isnt an inherent indicator of morality".
#it already grated me a little the wrong way when it started . as a person who struggles w reading for a number of reasons including but#not limited 2 disability but i didnt think too much of it cuz i was like#Oh they dont mean harm theyre just rightfully worried aboutit. We all should be#but now its v clear its just a quick way to feel like youre better than all the other Virgin Shut In Sober Losers like oh okay#i dont expect people on tumblr to teach other people reading comprehension or thinking skills. there is a reason theres entire classes for#that#no internet user chilling on their own blog should be expected to educate others#but i truly feel some people care less about informing others and more about a good ego boost#t#anyways. posts that will put me in witness protection
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“this fandom is so bad at reblogging!” “this fandom is the WORST at reblogging!”
lets take a look at 4 different fandoms ive posted art for.
rdr2:
fnaf:
dsmp:
hollow knight:
yeah ouch! for a website that claims to be so centered around fanworks this is a bit depressing isnt it? and im not even a writer!
#i dont care that much about numbers but. man! man!!#personal i guess#THE ONE LITTLE R*DR FANART NOT BREAKING 100 NOTES IS SO FUNNY
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