#i dont care about context my guy
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Author: so canon did some dumb stuff and im going to change that
Me, who has never watched nor plan on watching the show: youre soooo right girly canon did fuck that up
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happy crossover christmas to me !!! left: crossover / right: AU :3c
#akeshu#p5r#persona#art tag#crossover#anyway. these are. my delusions#did ANYBODY have akeshu x darling in the franxx crossover on their bingo cards??#if you did. i think you win. everything#this has no context it makes no sense#there's nothing to it#except that i just want to see my blorbos in costumes and situations#i am lowkey so embarassed to post this lmfao#i actually started with the au a while ago#bc it was going to be part of my persona boyfriends crossover#where they are all in duo-pilot mechs but i cba with p4 rip#but then i enjoyed the vibe and just made a crossover ver too#with like the two scenes i remember off the top of my head#lowkey ditf is only good for au material#the au here they're both part of the uhhh nines?#i reeeeally like akiren being a bit bratty huehuehuuhuuu#i think akiren would rather die than get partnered with anyone else :3c but would his partner think the same...? (ofc he does)#actually you know what. i kinda want to draw this now.#getting ordered to partner with someone else. refusing. then going berserk and killing mob guy.#whilst akechi is smug af at base. bc they made a point. who cares about anything or anyone else.#anyway i have more one-off crossovers i want to do over xmas#so long as i dont play metaphor every waking moment#just gonna doodle and not try too hard
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a little game I like to play called "block all popular ship tags" that makes tags for any big show become unusable :)
#the older i get the more i dont give a shit about ships or shipping#its all everyone cares about. like sorry for being joyless or whatever but why does a tag become unusable when i dont want to see shipping#plus i wanna see my favorite little guys but theyre almost ALWAYS drawn in the context of ships like i lowkey dont care#like drawing characters interacting and stuff is fun (ship or not) i like those#but i mean the stuff abt how one person is too stupid/oblivious to see the signs of pining makes me so mad#or shaving down the edges of gruff or awkward or lame characters to make them fit a cute shippable mold where theyre always blushing#like please. i want more fun/interesting character interaction that doesnt involve shipping . wheres the drama
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people say "pro artist" like it matters for shit lmaooo "pro artist critiques students' work" who gives a fuck about his title, he's just another person with his own subjective opinions. "He makes money off his work and works in a big name company" WHO GIVES A FUCK HE'S JUST ANOTHER PERSON WITH HIS OWN SUBJECTIVE OPINIONS MARKETABILITY AND INDUSTRY WORK DOES NOT INDICATE QUALITY OF THOUGHT OR QUALITY OF WORK IT JUST MEANS MASS APPEAL
#y'all make gods out of literally anyone i swear it's bizarre to me#''pro artist'' my ass i'll decide on my own if his analysis is sound and applicable to the context of said art or not#some of y'all are so sheep-pilled you're just waiting to be told by some irrelevant guy about who is The New Authority Figure#so you can get to worshipping#like no i dont care about your job dude; or how much anyone else thinks you're the shit. I will decide if you're the shit or not
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Ngl I’m tempted to animate something from that one canon au where Kusuo dies with this cover
#I will never not take an opportunity to post about Will Stetson#I typically don’t care for English covers or dubs or anything but holy shit man he’s an exception for me#I’m a little ashamed to admit he has some covers that I actually prefer to the original#Like “nothings working out”#Which is also a very Saiki brothers coded song tbh#Specifically Kuusuke coded#WHY DID TUMBLR TAG THIS YOUTUBE DONT DO THAT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION ??#Oh actually speaking of English covers (I really like the art of song translation sorry) there’s actually one that’s not by Will Stetson#that I really like#The rolling girl cover by lollia#she makes it like? Rock? It’s so cool#and back to Will Stetson he does a cover of hated by life itself that has rap and when I first saw that I was like hmmmm how is that gonna#work out yk#BUT ITS SO SO GOOD? AND IT KIND OF ENHANCES THE EXPERIENCE ACTUALLY#That song (the original moreso) is also imo saiki coded#Hey can u guys tell my brain is rotted#i love translation one of my fav external/non story parts ab the saiki manga besides Asous ramblings is the translators notes#Like them explaining how the joke works and the context behind it and why a joke might be hard to translate#its so interesting to me
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some people confuse a reckoning with an ending.......
so you seek reform ???
i seek.......... regeneration
#vows ans vengeance#vows and vengeance spoilers#i quite literally do not k oww what to do w myself rn#i may never be normal again i fear.#I ACTUALY DONT KNIW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. GUYS. IM SO SERIOUS#god. this is so embarrassing to admit but im so used to hearing only his existing lines over and over again after a thousand replays#hearing his voice in new contexts and with new inflections and ranges is so jarring#him laughing..... his delivery of ''kindly remove your knife from my neck'' !#and the elven......#AND ITS NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY. LOL#anyway sorry i swear i care about the rest of the story too and i love neve so much already but. god.#varric come get your man he sounds fucking unhinged <3#ok sorry im not done one more thing. him screaming/yelling/panting.........? 🥰#***** ** ***** ** ***** !!!!! 😍🥰😻🤪😘😀
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today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago
#z talks#like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed#(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning)#remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’#babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man#and thats the only one youre looking back on#its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time#(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS)#And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys#its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on#no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted#(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary.#This Was Also Wrong.)#was a weird time man. a truly weird time#anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3#as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks#get well flowers <333333#and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight#With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically!#They coexist Wonderfully <3#Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed#Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic#I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.
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ummmm ummmmmm.... how many people would be interested in me warrior cat'ing baldurs gate three characters
#not art#meandering#i imagine its been done before but i still want to do it or at least give my take on it#guys ive been so obsessed with bg3. oh my god#all ive been able to think about today which sucks bc i have things more important to do#but ill survive u_u anyway for anyone that cares im romancing shadowheart and i think its going very well#im also doing pretty well to avoid spoilers and the spoilers i Have gotten i have no idea what the context is so its basically meaningless#to me . and i also dont care for spoilers anyway bc i stress so easy not knowing HAHA#i am having a lot of fun . if anyone wants to send any asks talking about it or if mootie patooties wanna talk about it i am here
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more bullshit
#this is such a good way to spend my time Im so fucking busyyyy#this also actually made me realise that its the second time ive drawn denmark as patrick/christian bale and its like. well its true but im#insane also#ive been wanting to do the fernanfloo meme for 50 years though because that most litearlly is already his outfit#but well anyways i got to give him a spiffy alternative fancy outfit that im kind of obsessed with#it may be that he doesnt have his stupid headband for 5 minutes or the bullet wound swagger but well i like him#litearlly no body is going to understand the context of the first meme until like. 6 volumes of my comic come out im crazy#well whatever. its for me ok.#i should have been working on my berserk drawing but instead.#my ranting#do you guys understand how long it took me to find the christian bale image without the goth bugs bunny i wanted to kill myself#then all i had to do was google ''christian bale so cunty'' and the second image on google was the fucking post...like goddd#''why is denmark in heaven'' well because the inbetween is all clouds so the backgrounds always are white please pleaspelaplseplease#i know i backed myself into a cornerrr thereee but pleaseee#Pleaseee#with that logic he should also be wearing completely white clothes unless theyre his normal outfit but i figured that would look Really Wei#Weird so i didnt do it#im aware no one cares and im inflicting these rules upon myself ok well the illness#...which is why i also tried to fit kyles binder beneath the dress which he would never wear bc of the dysphoria but i figured ok well. idk#the binder was built into the dress or something idk idk dont think about it too hard#''dont think about it too hard'' is the hardest thing 4 me. well i will think about it soo hard unfrotuantely#its 5 am#my art#kyle batillo#denmark newman#kar#it feels really weird to draw the 2 of them without ilya there. its like going to a hotel without the cuck chair.#like wheres my beautiful third wheel scowling in the background#cady will you tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back OK SORRY i should rewatch meangirls. for the millionth time#sad you cant see his giant gauges bc hair is covering but just remmeber theyre there k drew them.....
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I suggested my friend (new KH player) streams Days before KH2 but I also warned him I'm in the far minority and there might be a little backlash
#IN MY DEFENSE!#These are all the things he said he's been spoiled on: ''Roxas exists because Sora became a heartless'' (he didn't use the term Nobody)#he knows about ''Organization XIII and how they all have X's in their names'' (once again didn't say Nobody)#and that ''Ansem is a bald guy but also not.'' and while he hasn't reached KH1 Hollow Bastion yet--#he HAS been reading the Ansem Reports he's collected so far.#so 1. he already knows that Ansem's identity is sus af; so I think he WON'T be that confused when he realizes Xemnas is Ansem with an X etc#2. Roxas's twist is the main reason I've seen people say ''play KH2 before Days'' but he ALREADY knows that pretty much#I die on the hill that knowing Roxas Xion AND Axel's emotional story arcs will make KH2 hit SOOO HARDDD#like could you imagine watching Axel die KNOWING what happens in Days!!! UGH!!!!!#Like I really just don't understand why people say play KH2 before Days.#they always yell ''just play release order! it's not that hard!'' but that's such a shallow reason to me#WHAT ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL CONTEXT !!!!!!!#*shakes you by your shoulders* WHAT ABOUT THE WEIGHT OF KNOWING EVERYONE FORGOT XION AND THEY DONT EVEN CARE!!!!
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oh yeah it turns out that an ex of mine has been being fucking weird about me on here again -_- not sure what the point in posting this is i just wanted to complain. about that.
#ohh i'm ''[their] shitty ex''?? dude our last communication was me being Scared out of my fucking mind and Apologizing for Being Scared#like. scared Of Them. and their response was 'i cant remember the last time i was this mad at someone'.#like i realize now they were a fucking loser and just liked the Aesthetic Idea of me while ignoring everything Real about me but still. GOD#<- not venting just giving. Some context if You guys have seen them posting about me?????#genuinely dont care if u r mutuals with both of us idc i have their url blocked im chilling these days. but like. Man it has been 3yr and#youre still telling people im Horrible for Getting Scared Of You? give it a fucking breakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#delete later#EDIT. they didnt do anything That Bad the 'scared' is a result of Psychosis. they werent abusive or anything just didnt respect boundaries
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Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW
#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him#im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh)#im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked#like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ)#and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings!#god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense�� or “thats dumb”#sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear)#maybe dont be so dismissive#like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves#and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed#and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance???#like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off#leave it be!#god looking back on all this....#i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things#ppl can change so ill just hope for that#or maybe he'll meet his match#someone who reflects the same energy he has!#tho im not sure if hed like that haha#the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt#but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses#which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own#gotta get context for everything u know#but in this case....naur#like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind!#so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr#im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly#trying to make sure not to make things harder for them#and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset#but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???
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#i just want someone to care about the shit i write#the only one who left a comment on my published thing is my beta (love)(affection) and like#sigh#im losing my motivation to finish it due to lack of response#also im thinking about the campaign that died in the water and the attached worldbuilding#and how much i loved doing it but how disappointed i was in the result#and i think i should just go back to doing stuff by myself#'you need to be okay with people not caring!' okay but then why am i sharing it#for context i dont think my stuff is bad. i take great pride in it and in my wordlbuilding especially. its just weird like i am#i suppose#stupid boy. when will you learn.#but also#withdrawing will fix this <- guy with severe depression
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Morning! I'm here to harass you. 🤭
Hangover status?
And how vivid is the memory of stream? 🤣
GOOD MORNING STARS you could never harass me 😤
and LIKE I SAID DURING STREAM i never get hangovers !!!!!!! ive also been awake since like. 4AM so even if i did get one i'd prob be fine by now LOL
and trust. i remember. Everything from stream.
#snap chats#IVE ALSO BEEN DYING LOOKING AT THE FUCKIN BJ CHAT (OUT OF CONTEXT STATEMENT)#WDYM YOU LOT ARE MAING A COPMILATIONLJLERVEJLKVEJ im thoroughly obsessed witht he art too.. i have saved all of it </3#im thinking back on stream and thinking of how many more times i cuodlve roasted kayla tbh 😔#DEELGATING KAYLA TO KUME IS WILD THO i was thinkin ichi the whole time. tbh. aoki bullies ichi during streams real#also have a dumb doodle idea from it... lol... but ill do that durin drawing stream uhhhhh tuesday?#kayla and i were talking about it beforehand. or WHEN te fuck ever but yeah moving on#its how i remembered i needed to clean my suit a bit cause there was still sake stains on it FUCK#its fine now. trust. i take care of my suits like theyre my children <- dont spill alcohol on your children ?????#but yeah no im telling you alcohol is so weird to me becase i never forget anything and im Cognizant and always aware of what im doing#but yk. i do be a lil loopy 🥴 a 15 on the scale even 🥴 free rights to be stupid while only feeling KINDA bad about it#so funny how we were talking bout when id wear the masato outfit and i was like 'oh god prob not Ever if its with kayla'#and now we're doing it. part two. tonight LOL#you guys wanna see my shitty attempt at beard make up cause Highly Considering It
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so the unfortunate thing about me is that, when it comes to the media i consume, i tend to have one 'anchor' (very rarely two) to keep me interested
this is necesary cause i have an incredibly hard time being interested in things in general so i have to purposefully spend my focus on one thing so that i can keep being interested in it cause otherwise i just kinda feel meh about the thing, i mean ill still watch and enjoy it but i wont be as interested as id like to be and may even drop it eventually after struggling to keep interacting with it (this is unfortunately what happened with empires, x-life, yogscast, and the lsmp seasons without mumbo in it)
if i ever drop that anchor whether purposefully or not then i lose interest in everything that ive ever connected to its rope -- i could still enjoy them sure but then at that point theyll just be like every other filler content in my life, like music when im washing the dishes
for hc its mumbo, for dsmp and smplive it was schlatt, for the scrunkly squad its boosfer and baablu
for lifesteal its zam
idk what happened behind the scenes but ill be honest its not looking good and theres a possibility i might have to drop him :/
#mine.txt#not sure yet tho cause without enough context it just feels like im doing something unnecessary that the affected party (lila)#may not necessarily want#i mean intuitively it seems like something that someone would want#guy who hurt you loses support? sounds great right?#but thats not really something everyone wants and i am Very Sensitive to feelings of intrusion whether by me or other ppl#either way im def gonna loosen the hold at the very least#i mean i Could look for another anchor but its a lot harder for me to attach to an anchor if they were attached to another anchor before#so for me to stay interested in something even after the anchor dropped there has to have been another anchor at the same time#like boosfer and baablu with the scrunkly squad#even if one of them drops i can still stay interested in ss (although i may become more focused on one inner circle more than the other)#also ill be honest i just dont really care enough about lifesteal in general to do that#what a shame i really liked zams character too#both drawing and making stories of him#just gonna go hard on baablu and mumbo if it ever happens ig#oh man just realized im gonna drop gen too if and when it happens#nooooo not my saturday morning cartoon T-T#it is what it is ig its not the first time this has hapenned and it wont be the last#honestly the best option for me to stay interested in something is for the plot/lore to be my anchor#unfortunately that very rarely happens cause of how character-driven a lot of stories are#and esp with cc-content its even moreso considering its nature#...just now realizing this May be part of the reason why i love mystery stuff so much#yeah the characters are important but they mean practically nothing without the plot like they wouldnt act the way they do without it
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A good chunk of my dream today was spent on a bus traveling with my dad where after a very long while of being annoyed by an old woman an old classmate whose face and voice i remember but his name i don't encouraged me to tell her, and tell her i did. At first i started speaking formally but by the end I snapped and i was straight up screaming about how she's annoying and i hate to see her face every time i get on this goddamn bus and it was time someone told her these things. There wasn't a reaction from anyone because i was waking up tho so the dream fell apart before my own eyes.
#luly talks#there were also some moments of claustrophobia probably because my horrible anxiety as of lately#first one was after me and my dad tried to skip paying ticket we were forced to go to the corner behind the bus driver seat#between the machine to pay#and wait until the next stop to do so#second time was after i went to sit on the back because the middle had some weird long seats#there was a very weird guy next to me but i was ignoring him until between him and some other guy (it wasnt intentional they weren't trying#to hurt me but they were doing it anyway) i got stuck and i was like begging them to move snd let me go and saying i was stuck#as i tried to squiggle away#i got away from that bug fuckin g BITING them#and finally the last was before i finally snapped where someone screamed something and i looked out of the window and i realized the bus#was going underwater so i grabbed onto this classmate and ducked down not even caring about it being weird#but then it cleared like nothing and due to that stress i just snapped at the woman#who let me give more context: when my dad and i tried to skip paying she started talking shit in that old woman fashion#but then she wouldn't stop complaining about this student who had done a graffiti because apparently the bathrooms were trash#and one of the things i told her is ''you can have us from morning til noon making graffitis and cleaning them up but that won't change#that the bathroom is still shit#also i think she wanted to cause some repercussions for me speaking like that bc she was like DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I WORK AT ...#and i was like No i don't i never heard of it im new im from the city but with the most arrogant tone ever#anyway it was fun
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