#i don't want to write their profiles though. writing profiles is. a nightmare to me

[linawritesocs]

something about me having the seth ships guide and two ocs in works is so funny. like yes, this is everything you need to know about seth's boyfriends. this is me giggling and kicking my feet because of how adorable they are. also here, have two new boys that are just as insane as all my other ocs. what do you mean you thought i was done.

[anincompletelist]

rwrb fic recs! :D

I wanted to take the time to compile a few fics that have massively helped me over the last tough few months and never fail to bring a smile to my face (after the angst, of course)! thank you to everyone who takes the time to write for this lovely fandom, please keep it up! your words are so important and often change lives even when you don't realize it. I hope you're all doing well, and enjoy! <3

(please message me if for any reason you would like to be un-tagged!)

in no particular order:

he looks up grinning like the devil | @coffeecatsme | E | 38k

Henry can’t help it—he lets out a laugh and shakes his head. Beta Sigma Chi being a safe space is about as likely as the Republicans championing queer rights. “Right, and who’s this new president that somehow managed to turn around an entire fraternity?”

Pez winces. She hesitates at first, but then she must decide on something because her chin juts out. “Well,” she says slowly. “It’s Alexander Claremont-Diaz.”

Henry laughs so hard he almost falls off his seat.

Or, Henry Fox learns to fall in love with everything that is Alexander Claremont-Diaz, even if he insists on calling Henry "dude".

--

A Sporting Chance | @clottedcreamfudge | E | 126k

"Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez.   "Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

***

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

--

a degree of fate | (locked) | lockedinmybody | E | 34k

Against the wishes of the palace, Henry decides to go back to university for a graduate's degree in Literature. And when you want to lay low, what's a better place than Austin University? It's not Henry's fault that Alex Claremont-Diaz is also there. Something must be his fault though, because despite having never met before and Henry only knowing him as the son of the Former President of America, Alex Claremont-Diaz clearly hates him. It's going to be a long two years.

--

the poem you make of me | @omgcmere | E | 91k

After being discovered on Instagram as a teenager, Alex Diaz is thriving as a social media influencer and model who just landed a high profile, high fashion contract with Calvin Klein. Alex can get any girl he wants, and he’s loving it. Meanwhile, British poet Henry Fox has just arrived in L.A. to kick off a North American tour promoting his new, steamy book of gay erotic poetry, and he’s attracting a lot of attention.

Bad blood is immediately sparked between them when Henry blows Alex off at their first meeting. Several tabloid rumors and an Instagram tantrum later, Alex and Henry are reluctantly thrust together to make nice, resulting in a grudging friendship and a magnetism between them that Alex can't explain. Why is Henry's poetry making Alex feel like this? And just what is it about Henry Fox that gets to him so much?

--

Mr. BodyPillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™.

Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

--

More Amour | surveycorpsjean | E | 45k

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

--

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) | @onward--upward | T+ | 12k

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep.

Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

--

Oblivion | milowren | NR | 31k | please CHECK TAGS & NOTES prior to reading!

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

--

But I love him, whether or no. | @leaves-of-laurelin | E | 77k

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

--

we might just get away with it | (locked) | smc_27 | E | 21k

Alex is a model. Henry is a journalist, and a bit of an asshole. Alex wants him anyway, even when it doesn’t feel good.

--

Hashtag Soulmates | @everwitch-magiks | E | 44k

Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

--

the rubble or our sins | weather_stained | E | 14k

As the Emperor's grandson, Henry despises the gladiator games and resents being forced to attend them — that is, until he sees Alexander fight. 

It's a romance doomed from the very beginning, as Henry's family is already pressuring him into joining the army and finding a wife, but he falls hard for Alex nonetheless. Will Henry find a way to be with him, or will he spend the rest of his life looking back on their time together?

--

that's all for now! I'd like to do this again very soon since there are so many new fics being posted that deserve love as well.

please let me know if there are any issues with the links, if you'd like to be un-tagged, or if you'd like to come and scream about these with me!

another good place for recs is @rwrbficrecs !

if you enjoy any of these (or any fic at all) please know - as someone who writes them as well - every single comment and kudos goes such a long way. it's not necessary, but it's always so much appreciated. <3

thank you for reading, and I hope everyone is having a lovely day/night! :D

-- anincompletelist / sarah

[sanamwrites]

26 Feb 2024 Update Log

100k Words Threshold!! 🥳🎉

Major Changes

Added Tobias’ Part 1 (3217) (Slight NSFT)

Added Corin’s Part 2 (3827)

Added Gray’s Part 2 (9337) (NSFT)

Minor Changes

Added character cards in the Character Profiles menu

Added a Select NSFT Chapter menu in the stats screen

This menu also includes the option to view what exactly is NSFT about that chapter.

Notes

Tobias is a weirdo and I love them for it. My theory is that if you know everything about the world, it breaks your brain. They’re both the most knowledgeable character and the most naive mf-er in this story. <3

Corin’s story came to me in a dream. It was a nightmare.

Gray is h-word in their Part 2 and I love them for it

I have the least experience writing smut with characters/MCs that have 🍆 so any feedback is much appreciated.

As for lemon with characters/MCs with 🐱… I have written an unholy amount of femslash over the years so hopefully I'm good there.

I was gonna keep going on Gray's chapter because the canon dictates that they have a lot of endurance, but unfortunately I do not. It needed to stop somewhere okay. Hopefully it's satisfying though

Doing a 10,000 iteration of RandomTest (the default amount on CSIDE) now officially crossed the twenty minute mark. And despite that, it can't replace the valuable feedback of a reader. I've had people on tumblr message me or send me asks and it really helps take this story to the next level.

So, if you happen to catch something, whether it be a typo or a sentence that doesn't make sense, or a plotline that you have suggestions for, I'd really appreciate it if you send them to me. Don't feel pressured to ofc, just wanted to post my appreciation for feedback and suggestions :) 

Previous Word Count: 91k (recalculated all stats, was wrong before whoops)

Current Word Count: 107.5k

→ or 95k without command lines

→ or 33k per playthrough

Difference: +16.5k words

[felice-jaganshi]

Strawberry Scented Love

Radiodust Strawberry Pimp AU

Chapter 5 - Good Girl

TW: Mentions of Past Suicide

~One week later, three nights before the grand opening~

 

Velvet smiled, laying on the couch of the A/V's tower, happily drawing away. “Fuck yes, this is the best idea to come out of that disgusting porn studio in decades! We should have added you to the Vee's forever ago! The fuck did Vox do to turn you away before?” She was coming up with outfits for the performers based on the notes of what their songs were going to be.

“Ugh, don't bring up that old shit Vel!” Vox groaned, lounging across the arms of his own chair. “Why can't I broadcast it again?” He was pouting at Alastor, who sat cross legged in his own chair with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

“Because the selling point is you can only see it in person. If they could buy a recording, it diminishes the value of the product. The product being the experience, not the performers, don't give me that look or I'll rip your good eye from your head you silly picture box.”

“Don't threaten me with a good time…” Vox huffed and crossed his arms, pouting at Alastor. 

“To answer your question, Velvette, he had asked me to be his romantic partner, and I'm not interested in him like that. So he stole my idea of combining all the media demons into one super power. The A/V's were originally my idea. Though he wanted to call us the V/A's of course. As ridiculous as that sounds.”

“Oh right, because putting your name first is soooo much cooler!” Vox rolled his eyes, then one of Alastor's tentacles slapped the back of his screen that was hanging off the arm of the couch. “Agh! Fuck you!”

“Hm, you wish you could.”

 

Later that day, halfway across the city, a broadcast played on a tv in front of a Voxtech store. “Breaking news sinners! Continuing last week's report on the new porn studio, Strawberry Productions, we now know they will be holding burlesque shows at the new Jazz club every Saturday night! Tickets are available now for pre-order and selling out fast! Trust us with your entertainment!”

A moth demon in a trench coat and fedora growled at the tv as he listened to the broadcast. He threw a brick, breaking one of the screens, before walking off with a fresh grin, and a plan…

 ~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on Alastor's office door, “Come in.” He was at his desk writing away. It was the middle of the night.

Anna entered the room and looked around. Alastor's coat was missing from his shoulders, draped over Angel like a blanket as he slept comfortably on Al's couch again. He'd had a nightmare about Valentino, and Alastor had offered him his company. Angel had fallen asleep quickly to the strawberry scented fluff.

“Miss Anna? Darling, what are you doing up so late?” He smiled softly at her.

“Oh, um… I was hoping, if you weren't too busy, Sir, that you could watch my routine and tell me what you think? I… I think I've got something really special, but…” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, clearly nervous. She was wearing workout shorts and a sports bra, and was soaked with sweat.

“Very well, it's clear to me you've been working hard on this even after hours. I can spare a few minutes to give my thoughts.” He rose from his chair and followed her out of the room. His Shadow stayed behind to lock the door and coo over Angel. Keeping his word to keep him company. 

 

Anna took to the stage, posing on the ground for a side profile view, one leg bent and she did a little hair flip of her bob cut as the music began. “The dress is Chanel, the shoes YSL. The bag is Dior, Agent Provocateur.” She got up and kicked on of her feet up dramatically, adding a shimmy to her hips and she headed towards the pole. “My address today, L.A. by the way. Above Sunset Strip, the hills all the way.” She wrapped one leg around it before leaning away, doing “heart hands” over her chest before pulling herself back towards the pole and lowering her leg, turning her back to him and climbing the pole. She was blushing and smiling the whole time, just having fun. 

She held out her hands, leaning backwards to look at him upside down, “My rings are by Webster, it makes their heads twirl.” She spun her way back down the pole. “They all say Darling, what did you do for those pearls?” She snapped back upright, “What?!” She put a hand in front of her mouth before pouting, “I am a good girl!”

At the end of her song she stood on the stage breathing hard. “W-well?”

Alastor slowly clapped, “A lovely dance darling, far less sexual than everyone else's. Though I do wonder if you'll get many clients with a performance like that…”

She looked down at her feet, the hand still on the pole going white knuckled with how hard she was gripping it, “Do… Do I have to still take clients? Can't I just dance?” 

“Hm? Of course you can just dance. I won't force you to sleep with anyone.” He tilted his head to the side. “You didn't choose this vocation, did you?”

She took a deep breath, but it came out stuttered, “N-no… I just wanted to dance. I don't… I don't like people touching me. I just wanted to be a dancer.” She was about to cry, her knees were shaking as she tried to hold herself together. It seemed… off to Alastor. 

 

“Darling… How long have you been in hell?”

“Five years…” Her voice was soft, but the room was silent and empty, so it echoed like a bomb.

“And… how old-”

“Don't!” She cut him off with an aggressive shout before gasping and looking up in fear, “S-sorry, I'm sorry sir! I- I didn't mean to- to-.” She was shaking all over now and Alastor's expression became dark. She was young then. Far too young for the depravity Valentino put her through.

He took to the stage, summoning a fluffy towel to his hand before slowly covering her completely from the shoulders down. He then pulled his hands away, understanding the desire to not be touched.

“Darling. It's alright. I don't wish to harm you… I understand I asked a rather rude question.” He smiled softly, his expression full of sympathy and pity.

“May I ask one more?”

She pulled the towel tightly around herself as she looked at his kneeling form, “What is it?”

“Well you see, I noticed some… similarities between us. So I thought to ask… if you had a rather unpleasant father?” He was choosing his words carefully, something he prided himself on, given his chosen career path. Both the radio one, and the serial killing.

 

“Well, I put a bullet in his head. So yeah, I'd say so.” She was pouting again, but with a quivering lip as she tried to make the tears stop. She was trying so hard to act calm and mature. The harder she tried, the more obvious to Alastor it was that she wasn't an adult when she died.

“How did you die, darling?” He kept his tone soft and friendly, but his eyes held a sorrow to them.

“My… my aunt… she was a good person. She tried to stop me from killing him, she didn't want me to go to jail. She got in the way of the first shot. I didn't mean to kill her, I was aiming for him!” She broke down, crying hard and curling into a ball. “I couldn't take it! I didn't want to go to jail, so I killed myself!” 

“I see… I'm sorry you didn't feel you had any other choice, my darling… you shouldn't have had to go through all that. I murdered my father as well, twice actually. If you'd like, I can hunt him down for you, as a gift. No strings attached.” He held out a hand for her. 

She looked at it, then back up at him, her eyes held mistrust in them. “Why are you so nice? Do you find me hot or something?”

“Of course not, I'm not attracted to women at all. It seems I've taken to viewing you like a daughter is all. So I wish to protect you.”

“Oh… so you're gay?” Her expression softened, while his became more complicated. 

“Not quite. Genuinely, I've never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone.”

“But what about Angel? You two are pretty close.” She tilted her head and her little bunny nose twitched in curiosity. 

 

“Ah, that… is an interesting situation. Can you keep a secret?” He asked softly. 

She nodded, and held out her pinky, “Promise.” He smiled and wrapped her pinky in his.

“Well, you see… Angel is a rare and strange exception for me. I genuinely love him, which isn't something I've felt for anyone other than my mother. And I'm still coming to terms with the feeling.”

“Oh.. okay… can I hug you?” That threw him for a loop! He hadn't expected her to ask that after saying she didn't like being touched! Did that make him a special exception? Like how Rosie and Angel were for him?

“You said you see me like a daughter, and well, I like the idea of having a dad that doesn't suck.” 

He wordlessly held open his arms and she got up, hugging him with her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, arms around her torso. “I never hoped to be a good father, given my only example of one was a horrible monster… but I suppose I could repurpose what I learned from my mother if that doesn't sound too strange for you.”

She nodded and rest her chin on his shoulder, “I don't see a problem with that. Gender roles on childcare are weird.”

 

Alastor chuckled and pet her head with one hand, “Well, you should go rest in your dressing room. It's far too late for you to be up, and it wouldn't be safe for a young lady to travel the streets alone.” He stood, carrying her as he went to put her in her room.

“Hm, okay… oh, should I still call you Sir in front of everyone, or can I call you Papa?”

“Ah… let's keep that private for now. I'm worried the others may get jealous if they learn you're getting special treatment. And… I'm not sure if I enjoy being called parental terms yet.”

She hummed at his honest discomfort and fell asleep in his arms.

[cerealkiddie]

caregiver!gn!reader x regressor!venti

again, I don't play genshin (yet) buuut I think I know enough 2 write abt it ehe >< also can u tell I'm a band kid with my hc's, possibly ooc venti. tagging @theholylyre

he's probably clingy while big, yeah it gets amplified while small. he's stuck to you like a slime

oh my gosh he loves humming and making little tunes while regressed. please remind him to be careful with his lyre. (even if his fingers have gotten used to the strings, don't want em to get cut even a small bit! plus the concern makes him feel all giddy n fuzzy) probably has a flute and some sort of bell set :(

d'you think he draws how he looked like when he was a wind spirit? keep memory of his past self before he took his current form. probably draws other woodland creatures, a seelie every now and then

sleeps better when he knows you're there but usually has nightmares or doesn't sleep for long increments (either that or sleeps for 10 hours at a time)

loves hide n seek, his favorite game other than playing any music related games (if u can't find him and it takes to long he starts giving u hints. little tunes being whistled, thr magical chime of a bell carried by the wind and melodic giggles that follow)

definitely drinks less but he knows if he does relapse he can come to you

very very talkative, atp consider him an info dumper. though he loves knowing he has ur attention. he's ramble about anything and everything. especially different alcohols, taste profiles, etc.

also,, angel and dove regressor. (thinking abt his archon form)

angel regressor flag crd. dove pet regressor flag crd.

ddlg/abdl/nsfw/variants dni! add any of ur own headcanons in the comments or reblogs ! post belongs to me ☆

[nhasablogg]

I dont wanna monopolize all your prompts but maybe a short one where Spencer won't/cant go to sleep/is drinking too much coffee to stay awake so someone tickles him to tire him out? Or just to convince him to get some actual rest?

-M

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Characters: Hotch, Reid

A/N: This is probably ooc, but I don't CARE I wanted to write about Hotch and Reid. Also tweaked the prompt a little, hope that's okay!

Words: 1.3k

Hotch didn’t make it a habit to profile his profilers. It didn’t seem ethical, especially not if it didn’t affect their abilities to work. Which was exactly why it took him slightly too long to realize that Reid was sleep deprived.

“How many hours of sleep per night does a person need to function normally?” he asked him that afternoon.

Reid looked up from his paperwork, one hand gripping his fifth cup of coffee. “Between seven and eight depending on age.”

“I see. And how many do you get on a nightly basis?”

Reid straightened, his lips pursing. “I sense I made a mistake.”

“How many, Reid?”

“Mmm.”

“Reid.”

“Maybe two?”

“Two?”

“Not every single night of my life!” Reid scrambled to add. “But. Recently.”

Hotch rubbed at his temples. “Jesus. For how long?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Reid. You need to lay off the coffee.”

“It’s not because of that,” Reid said, holding up his hands. “It’s the only way I can focus during the day. It doesn’t matter how tired I am at night. I just can’t seem to sleep.”

“Nightmares?” Hotch remembered when Morgan had approached him about it a few years ago, when Reid’s nightmares had started.

Reid shrugged. “Partly. I’ve been able to handle them before, though.”

“We experience new things all the time. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you find it harder now.”

“I’m not ashamed.” But he wouldn’t meet Hotch’s eyes now, turning back to his pile of papers.

Hotch huffed, wondering how to approach this. It wasn’t as if he could physically make sure Reid was sleeping.

Unless…

“I want you to take a nap right now.”

Reid turned back to him. “Sorry?”

“We have a couch and a quiet room for a reason. This job’s demanding. I order you to go to sleep.”

Reid held up his cup. “But I’m five coffees down,” he said weakly.

“Then starting tomorrow you’re not allowed to have any more coffee past noon and will take a nap after lunch.”

“Sir, with all due respect-”

“No arguing.”

Reid’s mouth snapped shut, but Hotch caught him mumbling something along the lines of “Morgan will tease me to death” as he left him.

And Morgan did, stopping only when Hotch shot him a look the next day. “I think I should enforce this rule on everyone if I’m being honest. I doubt you’re taking care of yourselves as you should.” Everyone squirmed, refusing to look at him. “Hm. Reid, come on, the room is ready for you.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. You look exhausted as it is.”

“I’m fine, Hotch, I promise.”

“Didn’t I say no arguing?”

Reid sighed, following Hotch into the room. It was nothing special really, but it had a couch by the wall, a table and a chair for when you needed complete privacy while working or eating, and a small window with the blinds closed, just in case you needed daylight. Hotch rarely was in here, and he had no doubts his agents barely knew of its existence.

“There’s blankets and extra pillows,” he said, pointing to a basket. “You get an hour.”

“What if I can’t fall asleep?” Reid asked quietly, arms crossed. Holding himself rather than displaying defiance, Hotch noted.

“Just resting is also good for you.” Hotch softened, taking in the young agent. How much he’d seen much too young. “Please try, Reid. Please.”

Hotch left him before he could reply.

*

Reid found him 27 minutes later, hair somewhat unruly and his eyes containing something that nearly scared Hotch a bit. “I can’t. Hotch, I can’t.”

“Reid, Reid, calm down. What is it?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Reid-”

“I just can’t, I-” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

He saw the frustration in the kid now. How he probably spent weeks trying and failing to get the rest he needed. How that was slowly etching itself into his bones and spilling over.

Hotch sighed, wondering if he was crossing a line. “Come with me.”

They went back to the room and Hotch had him sit down next to him on the couch.

“Relax,” he told him. “It’s okay. I want to try something.”

“Okay.”

“I do this to Jack when he can’t sleep. I know you’re not a child,” he added when Reid opened his mouth. “But I think this could help as long as you’re not uncomfortable with me touching you.”

“Uh.”

“Or we can get someone else to do it. Maybe Morgan.”

“What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Jack relaxes when I stroke his back,” he explained, finding himself smiling softly. “I figured sometimes you just need to know that someone is there. It also helps you relax.”

Reid exhaled. “Is that- something you want to do for me?”

“Of course.” Hotch said it with no hesitation, although still wondering if it was appropriate. But their job literally involved them sleeping and eating and crying around each other. He saw no reason why this would be different. “If you want me to.”

“I guess it can’t hurt,” Reid mumbled, suddenly blushing and turning away from him. “I, uh, should I lie down?”

Hotch hadn’t thought of the details. “Yes, I’ll- I’ll sit on the chair.”

“Okay.”

It was awkward, as they shuffled to get in position. Hotch wheeled the chair over, realizing it was probably much too high for him to comfortably touch Reid, but it would have to do. Reid was facing the back of the couch, visibly tense and waiting for Hotch to approach.

“Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Are you gonna keep doing it until I fall asleep? Because that will probably take hours.”

Hotch really hadn’t thought this through. “I’ll do it for a bit just to help you relax, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna touch you now, okay?”

“Okay.”

It was strange, to be petting your co-worker, but to be fair it wasn’t the strangest thing he’d done for this job. Reid lay completely still as Hotch let his fingertips run over his back, over his spine and shoulder blades and the nape of his neck. He shivered slightly, which made Hotch smile. Despite everything Reid hadn’t lost his humanity.

“How’s that?”

“Feels good,” Reid mumbled. Hotch could imagine him blushing, eyes closing and mouth slightly agape.

“And a little weird?”

Reid breathed out a laugh. “And a little weird,” he agreed.

Hotch laughed too, running his fingers down Reid’s spine toward his lower back. “Well, hopefully you’ll relax anyway- oh.”

Reid had twitched away from him with a yelp, glancing back at him briefly enough for Hotch to catch his panicked expression. “Uh.”

“Did I cross a line?” Hotch asked, equally as panicked.

“No, no, I just- Ugh.” He turned back around, pressing his face to the couch. “I think I’m good now, sir, thank you, you can leave now.”

“Reid, what-”

“I’ll fall asleep in no time.”

“Reid.” Hotch grabbed his arm. “What happened?”

Reid sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“If I overstepped-”

“You did nothing wrong, it just tickled.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish.”

“How could you have known?”

“I’ll be more careful. Is it just your lower back?”

Reid didn’t reply instantly. “My sides. Back ribs. Shoulder blades if you’re being very gentle.”

“I see.”

“Neck too.”

“So I have about one fourth of your back that’s safe to touch,” he joked and Reid groaned, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry. I’ll be careful. Although it would have been fun to hear you giggle.”

“I don’t giggle.”

“I’m sure that’s a lie.” In a moment of rare playfulness, Hotch gave Reid’s side a poke, earning something akin to a shriek. “Sorry.”

“You did that on purpose.”

“I think I know what to do now next time you refuse to sleep.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Now be still and let me continue. I promise not to tickle you.”

Reid did. Hotch deserved a medal for keeping his word.

[luvrodite]

the jason dad post 😵‍💫❤️‍🩹 you said that’s not nearly as many things as you want to say, i’m coming to you as an AVID dad!jason lover, please pretty please spill literally any and everything you have to say about that topic (if you’re up to it ofc) i’ve got the worst dad!jason brainrot he’s killing meeeeee

cw: pregnancy, children

thank u for indulging me and i am so sorry this is about to be soo incoherent because i'm so all over the place.

i think that if you have an overbearing family (who probably mean well but just don't understand that sometimes you need a bit of space) he is so your guy. he knows about families who are SO nosy like on a fucked up level. his brother probably has a whole profile on you. overbearing aunties are a breeze.

they throw you guys a baby shower and if you start crying in the car because you feel overwhelmed he's rounding the driveway to help you calm down. wipes your tears and asks you what you wanna do in his steadiest voice and you know he's going to back you up no matter what. has a hand on your back the entire time if you decide to go in and coordinates all communication with the seriousness of like his high level stakeouts.

uhhh uhhh i think jason and dick's relationship grows stronger as a result of this. like. that's his older brother. and he tells him because this is special and precious part of his life and he says it very solemnly and awkwardly when they meet up, and tries not to show how important it is to him that dick is part of it. tries not to show his brother that he feels this deeply about him being part of it. but he's still his younger brother and he's still gonna look up to him and want his approval. and dick is so. over the moon.

i think each of the family contribute in their own way but. i like to imagine damian, curious and a little awkward, helping to paint the nursery. he drops in randomly after school and the first time is a little sudden and you're not expecting him but you can't turn him away. he sits in silence for a little and then offers his own stiff little congratulations even though he'd already told you back when you and jason had announced it in front of the family.

it's so endearing and you ask him if he wants to see the nursery and he follows you through the house to the room where you and jason have planned to decorate for the baby. the entire time he doesn't take his eyes off you just in case, like he's got to take care of you in jason's absence. takes the role of soon to be uncle sooo seriously. you ask him if he would consider painting you something for the nursery and i think he takes it SO seriously.

jason goes out and buys a notebook once he's processed the news that you're going to be parents. it might be that day, it might be a week later. but i think he's the kind of dad who writes letters as your baby grows up. 'today we found out we were going to have you..' type thing and it's just so. heartfelt. and human. i don't think he even knows if the baby will ever see these, but he details how scared he feels and you can just read how much love he has already for you and the baby. he's a boy trying to do his best.

this is once again me projecting but. imagine the baby books. i love the idea of the nursery and picking out the books you're going to fill the shelf with. and as the baby grows you add more and more. fairytales and science and fiction and fantasy etc etc. jason reads to you when you can't sleep during the pregnancy

you fall asleep in the nursery one night, the both of you, and maybe a few years later, you unknowingly recreate it when the baby/small person has a nightmare and you and jason end up squished together on the bed with your world between the both of you. a tiny hand on your cheek and the other on their dad's shirt.

i was talking about this with keke (eurydizzy) beloved but i think the baby picks up on jason always calling you baby or a pet name and starts calling everyone that. they're tucked in his arms after a visit to uncle dick's and their little hand is smacking against their mouth in a clumsy blown kiss and you hear a tiny voice say 'bye baby!' to dick. (you guys end up staying another hour)

jason buys a camera and ends up documenting almost everything he can but. so do you. there are home videos on home videos on home videos. that's your world, why wouldn't you want to preserve it!!

another thing keke and i were talking about was the inner child wounds you guys would inadvertently heal. it makes me so emotional. you guys aren't perfect but. by god that baby is so loved. never once ignored, never dismissed. you treat them so seriously, and listen to everything they have to say.

anyway i am so emotional and have severe baby fever. i saw a mother and her baby on the bus the other day and almost started crying because they were so cute

[conntingency]

hey friends, i'm kay! i'm excited to write with everyone here. i have the bae canon - bae jiyul, gremlin of the forest. i've got some info under the cut about him if you want a quick read type of situation. though you can check out his profile + about page for additional info as well. hit me with a like if you want to plot (prob on discord is easier?? bc of the shadowbanning,,,,) and we can think up something fun. 😎

his family is in relatively good standing within the town, but he's kind of the black sheep and largely off-putting. he was born pretty late compared to his brother and was absolutely not planned.

didn't really help himself out by being like, one of those sickly runt children. he has asthma, will Usually have his inhaler on him. was kind of a weird kid too, he probably bit people in kindergarten.

considered himself Incredibly close to jeongbin, and considering he wasn't that level of close with a lot of people his death hit him hard (even if he wasn't actually the best of people/friends). instead of drifting away from the woods, he just became obsessed with it. spends a lot of time out there drawing and wandering around hoping to re-find the cabin or the weird rumor-ghost of jeongbin.

he does have like Constant nightmares though. his sleep schedule is whack. he's a freelance graphic designer so it mostly works out schedule wise even if he doesn't make a lot of money doing it.

if he were a dnd character he would have a negative 3 charisma stat. just not great at coming across as confident and put together and the opposite of weird. he also gets attached Way too easily if you let him. he's like one of those people that decide they're your best friend after you hang out at the bar together once. like bro, chill.

bad at regulating emotions in general. tends to kind of swallow everything down until it eventually bubbles up in something large that likely doesn't match the situation.

also not great with boundaries!!!! we could all see it coming.

his family is pretty religious and he used to be but isn't so much anymore. his parents aren't please about it, but let's be real here, they aren't pleased about most of his life choices, so does it matter?

kind of a mess and largely ambition-less. he kinds of just...does what he wants at any given moment. isn't really focused about getting a better job or bettering himself or creating a good reputation in the town. he mostly just cares about the woods and gets kinda anxious if he's away from it for too long (why he moved back, even though his stint away at a university was a better time for him socially tbqh).

okay yeah i think that's kind of the highlight reel along with the linked pages!! i'm open to plotting with everyone. ik he's a weird lil pariah type so no worries if you want a hate plot, i love them as well. and i'm forever looking for someone to punch him in the face (it would be funny, don't pretend it wouldn't be funny).

[docterdenseif]

Wow I just came across this and I was so glad it had a demo!!!🥳 only for it to end and leave me like Zeus looking for my next ambrosia fix 😂 it was so good I played through all the fables, I can't even imagine the amount of work and effort you put into this, it may not mean much but your work is really truly appreciated 🙏

1. I saw it says that you had planned for the next update to be late June, early July, how is the update going so far because I'm sure I speak for a lot of people when I say we're absolutely hooked ots that good 😂

2. How wealthy are the MCs because the intro teases that MCs attire for the dinner is very expensive and I would imagine it costs quite a bit to falsify your identity and keep a low profile

3. Will we get to see Sariel again in the Luci route or any route for that matter 🥺 my Luci misses Sariel, if she was a RO my Luci would've tried to get her back 😏

4. Is this a solo book or do you have more planned after this

Sorry its a bit of a long ask 😅 but its only because I'm too invested, good luck with your writing ✍ and I wish you all the best 👍 🙃

Wow! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

The Update is taking me far longer than expected. Currently, I have about 35-45k words done(depending on what I want to keep in/editing), but that is roughly only half of the word count chapter 2 will end up being. I've had a couple of complications in my personal life in regard to my job, so it leaves me a little less time for writing but rest assured; I am chugging away at it!

The MC is a multi-millionaire. They have accumulated a ton of wealth and knowledge over their long lifespan, even though they tried not to interact with the world. Also, it is worth noting that one could claim the MC technically has infinite wealth since there is very little to stop them from simply taking whatever they want if push comes to shove.

I don't want to spoil too much here, but I will say each route will have a unique character pop in and out of the story in the later stages of the narrative. Unfortunately, these will not be ROs because that would be a nightmare to code. 😅

I'm planning for it to be one massive solo book, but I might decide to break it up if it feels more natural that way.

[foldable-mattress]

Give me your honest opinion on Mondo and Rantaro 👀👀👀

Oo okay (I'm so sorry that this has been sitting in my ask box for so long)

Mondo:

Favorite Thing: I love it when the big intimidating characters like smaller animals. Like you think this guy would like Pitbulls or Rottweilers or something, but nope. Also, I would kill for his jacket, it looks so cool!

Least Favorite Thing: This is difficult for me, I don't necessarily hate anything about his character (other than his hair, he's all you would be getting from me if I could draw his fucking hair). I guess that he's a little quick to choose violence, poor Chihiro (and Makoto). Definitely chapters 1 and 2 Fuyuhiko vibes.

Favorite Line: He has so many funny lines in the anime but I'm gonna stick to the game. Going through his voice lines, he's so fucking useless during the trials but he has a lot of funny back-and-forths with other characters. I like the one at the beginning of the first trial where him and Taka go back and forth a little bit. "Don't be a goddamn idiot. Why the hell would they raise their hand?"

BrOTP: Already said him and Leon for Leon's. I would love to see him interact more with Sakura and Aoi, though. Maybe they can teach him there are better ways to release your anger. Okay, maybe Sakura can teach both of them that lesson.

OTP: Ishimondo is an obvious one, absolute sucker for enemies to lovers. Though he mentions that he yells when talking to someone he has a crush on iirc and homie is always yelling so I am inclined to believe that he's had at least the passing thought of "oh, they're attractive/cool" with all of his classmates whether he likes it or not (bisexual struggles ig)

NOTP: Idk, I don't really like victim x blackened ships, so Chihiro, I guess. They can be besties, though

Random Headcanon: iirc in his graduation event, he tells Makoto he'll build a house for him once they get out, so I like to think he's a yes-man when it comes projects. You make an offhand comment about needing more storage? Bam! He's on your doorstep the next day with a homemade chest to keep all your shit in. His love language is definitely gift giving.

Unpopular Opinion: His and Rantaro's are going to be similar, but the butter jokes get old after seeing it constantly (admittedly, I am guilty for making these jokes when I first joined the fandom and I still make some out of habit every now and then). Jokes about his hair are always welcome, though.

Song I Associate With Them: I haven't thought about this too too much so these are off the top of my head. Bad Bad Things by AJJ, Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths, and Shit by Bo Burnham

Favorite Image: I couldn't find it, but I think it's like a promotional art or something where it's just a bunch of characters sitting around, and he's just like patting Taka on the head. Very cute 10/10 (I pray you guys know what image I'm talking about). Also this one is so funny

Rantaro:

Favorite Thing: He's so cryptic, and it's so good. He doesn't give us shit in the time he's around (minus FTEs), and I love it!

Least Favorite Thing: I don't dislike anything about him personality or writing wise tbh. His side profile haunts my nightmares, though.

Favorite Line: I would go with the classic "You wanted this killing game, so you have to win no matter what" but instead I'm going with "I was just thinking, what you said back there would have pissed off whoever's running this. They definitely don't want us holding hands, workin' together...They're going to come for you, Kaede. With everything they've got. I'm a little worried about you. You're just so...straightforward." Rantaro is secretly the Ultimate Clairvoyant lol

BrOTP: Him and Kaede are mlm and wlw solidarity and you cannot convince me otherwise.

OTP: I don't really ship him with anyone, but I really liked his Salmon Mode with Shuichi

NOTP: Him and Tsumugi, hands down

Random Headcanon: I like to think he is constantly dying his hair. It's just a faded green because he hasn't been able to redo it for two seasons, and he's going insane because of it.

Songs I Associate Them With: I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire by Kerrin Connoly and Ship in a Bottle by fin

Unpopular Opinion: The fucking avocado thing. Like, I don't mind comparing characters to things, but it gets annoying.

Favorite Image: NO LOOK OUT

[silver-heller]

Huh, there's a letter...🔞

Read my General Carrd or AU Carrd for info on my F/Os and S/Is. All F/Os can be shared!

My Fanfic Writing // Ao3 // Promo // Lackadaisy AU Timeline

Profile Pic

💘BYF💘

NO MINORS PLEASE, THANK YOU! MY NSFW blog is heatedmetalheart.

Please practice reblog karma! If you reblog a game from me, send something in. It's rude otherwise and you'll end up blocked.

I often self ship with villains or morally grey characters. If this makes you uncomfortable, this may not be the blog for you! I also have very little care for canon. I am a part of a system and may talk about this from time to time. This is a system and plural safe blog!

I also have the shittiest memory in the wild west. So I apologize in advance if I leave a reblog in my drafts, start F/Oing a character and forget a mutual of mine already does and isn't comfortable with that (just block my silly ass), reblog or post something twice, use the wrongs words, and you get the picture. Please be polite over this, I genuinely don't find people poking fun at this amusing.

💘DNI💘

Homophobes, transphobes, racists, bigots of any kind, exclusionists, and those who ship adults with minors, or incest (or support people that do). If you hate self diagnosis, you are not welcome here!

This is a safe place for other systems, however, keep in mind you are not the only one who has to take care of their mental health. No, it is not our responsibility to put up with anything your system puts us through. We sympathize with having difficult headmates, and we don't blame others for what their headmates do. However, refusing or failing to deal with problematic members shows this is not the right space for us, and we will block you to protect our system members. Please understand this is for our own safety. A headmate being abusive towards one of my headmates will be taken as seriously as if the host was abusive to myself, period.

And look, I'm gonna be real with you, there's some parts of fandom culture I loathe and will avoid like the plague. This includes;

Drama/discourse/debates

Headcanon/fanon pushing

The idea of "fandom leaders" that know it all.

Huge media predictions/the creator said this! I want to see it, not hear about it. Especially with F/O deaths, which I am sensitive to.

I pretty much block anyone that makes me uncomfy and to keep track of blogs whose information I read, but didn't want to/couldn't follow. Aka, I do so liberally, so don't take it personally.

💘About Me💘

I'm 21, he/him, and this is an 18+ blog. You can call me Nightmares, if you'd like! In my free time I enjoy fanboying, writing, listening to music, reading, playing video games, and watching YouTube videos. My favorite media is movies and anime, but my favorite genre is probably either horror or romance.

My inbox is always open for general chatting, either about your interests or your F/Os or S/Is. Seriously, feel free to hit me up anytime, I'm shy, but I really do like discussing this stuff with you.

If Discord is preferable, just let me know. I'd prefer to have interacted with you a bit first, though.

[Everything is safe to reblog unless I have turned that feature off. Keep in mind older posts may not have had this in mind.]

Old Pinned Post

[raitonsfw]

𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘'𝚜 {𝚗}𝚜𝚏𝚠

𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚎

i go by lighte and or raito. though on this blog, i sign my name as lighte in my tags.

i go by they/he pronouns but i'm fine with gendered pet names (just don't go overboard kay?)

genderfluid & asexual!

this is not my main blog! so when i follow & like certain accounts & posts, look out for @/katicature instead.

on top of my y/n works, i also write for character ships typically including komahina, saiouma, oumami, soukoku, & satosugu.

my profile picture is hamtaro! (i love that ham-ham, used to watch his anime and play his video games when i was a kid; ham-ham heartbreak forever 🧡)

my star sign is virgo. my moon sign is cancer. my rising sign is sagittarius.

i like coffee, tigers, books, the moon/sun/stars/universe, cosplay, video games, & black/white aesthetics.

i dislike messy spaces, loud-mouthed people, fandom arguments, illness, & abhorrent behavior.

𝚒 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛

bsd: osamu dazai & chūya nakahara.

mha: tomura shigaraki & keigo takami.

aot: levi ackerman.

jjk: satoru gojo, suguru geto, chōsō kamo, & yūta okkotsu.

ds: obanai iguro.

dr: nagito komaeda (sdr2, udg, dr3), hajime hinata (sdr2 & dr3 hope arc), & izuru kamukura (dr3 despair arc).

key: which characters are my favorite.

danganronpa key: which versions of the character are my favorite. (ask me about it, i'll go into depth but there will be spoilers fair warning) i'm v deep in the fandom including all 4 main games, both animes, danganronpa zero, and killer killer.

special shoutouts to rantaro amami (drv3), kokichi ouma (drv3), katsuki bakugo (mha), toge inumaki (jjk), grusha (pokemon s/v), & N (pokemon b/w).

i have adopted kieran (pokemon s/v), ciel phantomhive (black butler), kyūsaku yumeno (bungou stray dogs) & the collector (the owl house) as my own children.

𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢…

currently reading: a court of wings & ruin by sarah j. maas.

currently reading (manga): caught up on black butler, my hero academia, & jujutsu kaisen.

currently listening: masafumi takada. dagames. black gryph0n. michael kovach. toby fox. gorillaz. bo burnham. fall out boy. melanie martinez. billie eilish. harry styles. louis tomlinson. one direction. (certified larrie of like 12 years)

currently watching: trigun. blue exorcist. mashle. black butler.

𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚜

book(s): a ballad of songbirds & snakes by suzanne collins. the catcher in the rye by j.d. salinger. my policeman by bethan roberts.

manga(s): kimetsu no yaiba (demon slayer). koe no katachi (a silent voice). deadman wonderland.

manhwa(s): love is an illusion! by fargo. surge towards you by cheongyeon.

anime(s): hell's paradise. hunter x hunter. mirai nikki.

movie(s): koe no katachi (a silent voice). tenki no ko (weathering with you). howl's moving castle.

tv show(s): star vs. the forces of evil. steven universe. the owl house. hazbin hotel (🏴‍☠️).

game(s): bioshock. halo. ffxv. little nightmares. undertale & deltarune. fnaf. poppy playtime. pokemon platinum.

𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜

𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 ✰ | marked on every post.

𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 ✧ | requested works.

𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 ❥ | reblogs of exquisite works.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 •┈••✦ | my writing pieces.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 ➥ | regarding important posts.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜 ◈ | answered asks.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜 ☀︎ | stupid shit i talk about.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ◇ | voting polls / questions.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ࿏ | self-explanatory.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚜 ☾ | self-explanatory.

𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚊𝚟𝚒 ⚲ | navigation posts.

𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝑒'���� 𝓋𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 ꨄ | valentine's 2024 event.

𓆩𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕒-𝕫 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𓆪 | follower milestones event.

𝖎𝖍𝖞𝖘𝖒𝖗𝖓(𝖉𝖜𝖎!) ♨ | sukuna x bully!reader series.

{emoji} nonnie | assigned anon emojis.

𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚓𝚒𝚜

if you want a specific emoji assigned to you so it's easier for us to communicate, let me know when you send an ask in! i will post it here so no one else can use it and to remind me.

🕊️ | 🌙 | 🎀 | 🎲 |

𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

when you join my taglist, your username will automatically go here so i don't forget. let me know if you would like to exclude yourself from this when filling out the taglist form.

@/izakyun | @/classyempathmongercloud | @/satorawrrr | @/noxioustoxin | @/rubyparsonx | @/mazzd4 | @/minomikn | @/mirrors-musings | @/faerie-soirxx | @/salmonpoki | @/itzmeme | @/lem-hhn | @/dreamcastgirl99

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝

i absolutely adore daisy's dividers (i have used dividers on almost every writing post i have) so i wanted to make a space dedicated to them here.

@firefly-graphics

navigation: rules. m.list. upcoming works. taglist form.

[prettytanuki]

s02ep00 of Mushoku Tensei

This episode feels like a side-story. Not as good as MT season 1 but I guess you should watch if you want to watch season 2.

Spoilers & my thoughts on the episode below.

So the episode starts with a royalty talking about cake with her guards, except cake is codeword for tits, because this is mushoku tensei and all roads lead to perv.

Then we see Sylphy getting teleported into the sky and we're reminded that, yeah, this would kill most people normally.

So how the fuck does she survive this? What does this have to do with that princess? Is she just going to fall on a tree and they'll help her or something?

And then all of sudden a huge pig goes rampage and brutally kills one guard... wait what.

What's up with this pig all of sudden? Where did it came from. Why does it decide to go on rampage the exact moment Sylphy is falling down in the sky? In hindsight, was it that water spell she tried to use earlier and almost drowned in it?

So as it seems that the other guard is actually fucking dead, and the second guard is prepared to die and tells the princess to gtfo, maybe... just maybe... this pig is the real deal, so I guess Sylphy will kill the pig, the princess will be like "hurray" and the story continues from there. The only problem is how is she going to land.

What the fuck? HER HAIR JUST TURNED WHITE? SHE JUST PULLED A KANEKI???? I was wondering who the hell was that guy white haired elf at the end of first season and it was JUST HER WITH WHITE HAIR???

This was dirty. Dirty and cheap. Can't believe I fell for that.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???

ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW??? SHE JUST... FALLS RIGHT IN THE EXACT SPOT LOL

Okay this was awful. I guess it solves the issue of how it happens but holy shit this was awful. This is some looney tooneys shit.

Okay so the princess takes Sylphy in on the condition that she wears these glasses... I guess that explains where the glasses come form but... why tho...? Is it the eye color? I guess that must be it because I can't imagine it being anything else. I don't really remember eye color being that important though. I thought it was the hair color.

Messy writing aside I gotta say this looks pretty badass. Sunglass white-hair elf ftw!

Some royal bullshit happens in the ball. Silent Fitz, huh? I guess that explains how she maintained low-profile despite having no court training. Was Sylphy an elf...? I don't really remember. I think she was supposed to be a demon, so she's pretending to be an elf.

Fitz seems traumatize. I guess that makes sense considering this is MT.

I guess that makes sense but I was sort of imagining she would just keep "Fitz" around for herself and make no effort in finding her family.

Wow a theater scene. Crazy to think people watched these before animes were invented.

So it sounds like the princess was just trying to get people to search for Fitz' family but the other royals misinterpreted that as her training to raise to the throne... or was she????

A fat bastard noble with a collared sex slave??? This is so cliché.

But I love it.

I'm sorry, what are they saying? I can't concentrate on the words.

"We will not nip the buds, but reap the one who sows them."

Okay, so ur gonna kill her. Why not just say that, explicitly and in plain English, you fatass smirking bastard.

I was so focused on that perv noble I forgot about this other perv noble. ARE YOU GUYS ALL PERVERTS???

RUN FITZ RUN!!!

oh no.

Oh, she's actually one of the decent ones. She wasn't going to attack Fitz. She, just like she said, was just going to sleep on the bed, together, and never had any plans for otherwise. That makes sense.

What a nice emotional scene deepening the relationship between two girls, I'm so glad nothing perverted is goi

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO!!! NOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Blushing Fitz is a cutie.

Oh fuck no. You in bed and open your eyes and a stranger is standing there? This stuff gives me nightmares!

It's an assassin!

Fitz can fight hurray!

Wait a sec... that's fat bastard's girl. She looks smaller than I thought. Why is she an assassin. That doesn't make sense.

*fighting ensues*

Cool moves!

What did she do.

WHAT DID SHE DO???

I mean it looks like she just pushed the assassin with her two hands but honestly that's some SLOW assassin if she just let Fitz attack her full of opening like that.

And blast!

And...

NOOOO!!! FAT BASTARD'S GIRL!!! What the fuck!!!

Why would you do that for, Fitz??? JUST CAPTURE HER ALIVE! Needs an interrogation scene!!!

Is that so? Is she part of the dark guild? Because I'm pretty sure I saw this in Cheat Skill already.

I hope she survived the fall.

I'm glad there was poison in the blade. Sick of half-assed assassins who won't even coat their blades in poison.

So with the assassination the princess leaves for "studies" abroad, which means Fitz goes to magic school, and that connects to how she sent Rudeus a message at the end of last season. That makes sense, I guess.

WHY ARE THEY CLIMBING MOUNTAINS LIKE THAT??? JUST GET A CARRIAGE OR SOMETHING! You telling me the princess of a kingdom can't even get a proper transportation to cross the mountain range?

Okay, fine I don't really know a lot about how royalty works, iirc the average royalty was way poorer than what it looks like in a fantasy show because they only reigned over small domains but surely there is fancier way to travel through a mountain than three people in capes, right? no idea what it would be tho

[chaosincurate]

My month in music - April 2023

Little Simz - NO THANK YOU (relisten)

Whitmer Thomas - The Older I Get the Funnier I Was

Young Guv - GUV III

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You (new)

Caroline Rose - The Art of Forgetting (new)

Blondshell - Blondshell (new)

Wednesday - Rat Saw God

beabadoobee - Beatopia (relisten)

Waterparks - Intellectual Property

mau from nowhere - The Universe is Holding You

Feist - Multitudes

Daughter - Stereo Mind Game

Ramones - Ramones

Alvvays - Blue Rev (relisten)

Bob Marley & The Wailers - Uprising

beabadoobee - Fake It Flowers (relisten)

Warm Human - Hometown Hero

Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare (relisten)

Waterparks - Fandom (relisten)

Little Simz - Sometimes I Might Be Introvert

Prince - Sign 'O' The Times

Björk - Post

Write-ups below

Little Simz - NO THANK YOU

A largely laid-back hip-hop album that still displays an ability to uplift when necessary, with great use of brass instruments in particular to introduce energy or glory to a song.

Recommended song: Gorilla

Apple Music link

Whitmer Thomas - The Older I Get the Funnier I Was

An indie slacker album that doesn't take itself all that seriously, with humorous songwriting throughout.

Recommended song: Rigamarole

Apple Music link

Young Guv - GUV III

Light, jangly, and airy, indie-leaning power pop. It's well produced and well executed, and worth a listen if that sounds like your sort of thing.

Recommended song: It's Only Dancin'

Apple Music link

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You

A diverse electronic pop outing from indie darling Caroline Polachek which casts a broad enough net to please pretty much anyone who likes the genre, which I think is the biggest reason for the hype and "must-hear" status amongst reviewers. Don't mistake my comments of broad appeal for accusations of blandness though, because there is a very satisfying identity to the album which, while not groundbreaking, isn't something that can be easily found elsewhere.

As the album art suggests, the album transports you to a paradise, so if you fancy an affordable holiday, and you like indie music, this album could be just what you need.

Recommended song: Bunny Is a Rider

Apple Music link

Caroline Rose - The Art of Forgetting

A great, expansive indie pop album which excels in personable lyrics, left-field pop production, and earning its melodramatic moments. Most of my favourite elements are present on Miami, particularly that explosion of sound towards the ending. Give it a listen!

Recommended song: Miami

Apple Music link

Blondshell - Blondshell

I don't know if I just have a warped perception of the alternative rock scene lately, but it seemed to me that Blondshell came out of nowhere with a polished sound, high-profile playlist spots (at least on Apple Music), and sudden credibility, but even if that makes me suspicious of where she came from, I'm glad she's here, because the album is good. The album has energy, unique themes, and a healthy dose of passion, making it exactly what you've come to expect from alternative rock, and it's executed well enough to not get boring.

Recommended song: Salad

Apple Music link

Wednesday - Rat Saw God

Another alternative rock album, but this one is a little more unique, blending the more expected sound of the genre with country and shoegaze, creating a noisy, harsh wave of sound, which lead singer Karly Hartzman passionately wavers over with vocals that can pump you up as well as they can tear your heart out of your chest.

I'll leave it at that because I don't think I could make a better case for this album than it's 8 minute epic Bull Believer can. I highly recommend giving it a listen if you're a rock fan.

Apple Music link

beabadoobee - Beatopia

beabadoobee always excels in charm, and this album is no different. Every song on this album, whether the ones I like or dislike, has this innate childish wonder about it. A nostalgic, innocent warmth and fun that you can only really instill in the art you care about. In this instance particularly, the album revolves around that childishness, as confirmed by the album title and artwork which was conjured by a way younger Bea.

The nostalgia comes from the sound palette, but crucially, not the the sound itself. The sound palette is very reminiscent of the music her childhood-starved generation (which I also happen to share) grew up on: 00's alternative. She wields this sound palette in very peculiar ways, most clear with the first proper song on the album, 10:36 and later on Talk when distorted guitars are used, not in an aggressive way, but instead with a sort of sparkle. I think that sort of contradiction is how beabadoobee makes music that is so representative of this generation. It captures the anger, but centers the yearning for childhood as we retreat to youthful expressions and experiences, especially the idea of doing things simply because they are fun and offer reprieve. It's a false innocence. A distorted representation of a sparkle that our eyes have lost.

To be clear, I'm not saying that this was all intentional and that they necessarily knew the effect this small touch would have on me and potentially others, and even if they did, I'm not saying this is exactly why they thought so, but all the same, this is what it means to me. The reader decides why the curtains are blue, not the writer.

Apple Music link

Waterparks - Intellectual Property

Although it might be considered a hot take in some of the circles I usually find myself in, I like Waterparks. From their harder pop-punk style at the start of their career, through the poppier first few albums, to what I will call the hyperpop-punk style of their past couple albums... I think they're a great band that has evolved very satisfyingly up until this point, providing some rare pop experimentation.

This one though? I found this a big step back. The opener, ST*RFUCKER, promises a pretty high-quality retread of the last album's sound, which I would be on board for, but REAL SUPER DARK is a more accurate representation in my view. The album more broadly does retain Awsten Knight's ability to add interesting twists to common themes (such as turning a love song into a self aware obsession song), but the execution is almost always distractingly flawed. It also doesn't help that the mixing on this album is dreadful, particularly with the vocals being buried beneath generally unaffecting instrumentals. That latter point was so bad that I didn't even realize one of the songs had backup vocals until I relistened when the lyrics were added on Apple Music.

This was just a very disappointing listen, and I genuinely don't know who to recommend this to other than the people who would have heard it already. Greatest Hits is just way better if you haven't heard any of their hyperpop-punk style, Fandom is a better overall summary of the band's sound, Double Dare is the best example of their pop-punk stuff, hell, even Entertainment has some great stuff on there as the band start to experiment and find a more individual sound, and honestly I think INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY is the worst of them all.

Recommended song: ST*RFUCKER

Apple Music link

mau from nowhere - The Universe is Holding You

If I were to attempt to find a common thread throughout this album, I'd probably have to settle on something broad, like lo-fi, because it is one of those incredibly sprawling, artistically indulgent projects that I love to listen to, but hate to try to make a write-up for. Without doing a track-by-track, the most useful thing I can do is tell you that mau traverses many different styles with great ease, and recommend a handful of songs.

If a laid-back and poppy hip-hop jam sounds good to you, Haba Na Haba is a great choice. If you're after something with a little bit more energy, closer and title track The Universe is Holding You is a great choice in that style too. My favourite though is the straightforward lo-fi pop bop Refuse Refuge. The whole album is high quality though, and there's only a few I don't really like, so its well worth a listen in my opinion.

Haba Na Haba || Apple Music link

The Universe Is Holding You || Apple Music link

Refuse Refuge || Apple Music link

Feist - Multitudes

A singer/songwriter album with a warm, earthy tone and poetic lyricism. The album makes good use of sparse instrumentation that somehow still manages to fill the soundscape well and places the lyrics front and center.

Recommended song: The Redwing

Apple Music link

Daughter - Stereo Mind Game

I often feel like obscure indie music can fall into this trap where it sounds all light and airy, perhaps in the pursuit of that 'immaculate vibes' type of sound, but without realizing that it still needs a pulse to get there. It can easily be overlooked, because it's usually quite subtle compared to the flood of reverb and synths, but it is absolutely crucial, at least for me, to make the songs memorable and enjoyable.

Daughter fully understand this though. This album never left me bored because it is always moving forward. It is usually slow enough to still be laid back, but it's always moving forward and never feels aimless. It's a good album if verby and vibey indie sounds like it'd appeal to you.

Recommended song: Be On Your Way

Apple Music link

Ramones - Ramones

Okay, look, I know this is a classic. I know that I risk losing my punk fan license if I say anything bad about the granddaddy of the genre itself, but this just didn't do anything good for me. Maybe one day I'll look back and think I was a fool for this, but this album - this 29-minute album - bored the shit out of me. Every song sounded like the last except for some tiny tweaks, and it was a sound that was best executed on the title track Blitzkrieg Bop.

But that isn't a deal-breaker. Hell, some of my favourite albums are somewhat sonically homogeneous, but this didn't have anything else to make up for it. No interesting lyricism or themes, no experimentation with instrumental palette, nothing.

And yeah, sometimes if you aren't used to a genre or sound, it can all feel a bit samey to you, just through inexperience, but I grew up on pop-punk (an offshoot of this album's purer punk), and have listened to a bunch of comparable stuff since, and it doesn't help me hear much difference between tracks.

It was an okay listen for me, don't get me wrong, but it is just too flawed for me to respect it as a classic, and the group of people I can imagine recommending this to is tiny.

Recommended song: Blitzkrieg Bop

Apple Music link

Alvvays - Blue Rev

I've already gushed about this album enough on my post on Alvvays, but suffice it to say that this sprawling indie album is exceptional and must-hear for any indie fan. I love it dearly.

Apple Music link

Bob Marley & The Wailers - Uprising

I'd never listened to a Bob Marley album before this, but my brother recommended this album to me last month (as in April), and I was suitably interested, so I gave it a go. Naturally, it was my first reggae album and remains my only reggae album to this point, so I don't really have the adequate tools to speak at all critically on the album, but I did enjoy it. The messages are conveyed well, and the music feels as communal as the lyrics.

Apple Music link

beabadoobee - Fake It Flowers

This should be a quick one. Pretty much everything about Beatopia also applies to this, except the sonic diversity. Her first album is pretty focused in comparison, but retains all the charm, fun, and energy of her most recent effort.

Apple Music link

Warm Human - Hometown Hero

Warm Human describes their sound as 'sludge pop', and I think that works excellently to describe the sound of this album. It takes distorted guitars, drenches them in reverb and somehow delivers it in a way that sounds appealing in that particular pop way.

Recommended song: Daylight Savings

Apple Music link

Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

I listened to this one to commemorate the anniversary of it's release. That should tell you I love this album, and this most recent listen changed nothing on that front. From the blistering pace of opener Brianstorm, to the cheeky, bouncy fun of Fluorescent Adolescent, and, of course, the album's patient swan song 505, along with plenty more, this album makes a great case for being the best Arctic Monkeys album for me, and by extension, one of the best modern rock albums.

Apple Music link

Waterparks - Fandom

Now I get a chance to be positive about Waterparks! On Fandom, I believe they strike the perfect balance between pop cheese, pop-punk melodrama, and otherwise meaningful artistic expression. Sure, sometimes the scales wobble a little, but it never feels like its falling far enough into one facet to noticeably undermine the others or feel bland.

I think this album probably also makes itself a great contender as the quintessential Waterparks album, with it being placed at their stylistic crossroads, and being so passionate and personal, so clearly cared for, that I struggle to see how any other could be placed ahead of it as a representation of the band. To paraphrase Awsten in future lyrics, they got everything they wanted on album 3 and it shows, with the band clearly demonstrating a radical self-acceptance, allowing the music to be cheesy at times, a tad melodramatic, impatient, as well as the more accepted traits like energetic, inventive, catchy, and fun.

I know Waterparks have their haters, but if you're willing to approach them with an open mind, this album is a great place to start if you ask me.

There. Now everyone is unhappy.

Apple Music link

Little Simz - Sometimes I Might Be Introvert

I should have gotten to this way sooner. I had heard Little Simz' name a lot since this album dropped, and always meant to get to it, so when I saw she dropped another album at the end of 2022 I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get into her music, but after starting with NO THANK YOU, which underwhelmed me, this album dropped down my list of priorities. That was a mistake.

This album is everything I thought NO THANK YOU lacked. It's full, energetic, fun, and had themes I was way more able to grab onto, as well as a far more satisfying execution of those themes when listened to as an album. Not only are interludes used to great effect to reiterate the broader themes, the albums thematic flow is so smooth, with it being pretty common for the last few lines of any given song to tie itself into the next song on the album.

I should have gotten to this way sooner.

Apple Music link

Prince - Sign 'O' The Times

This isn't the first time I've tried to get into Prince. My brother is nuts about the guy's music, and has tried to get me into it as well, to little avail. He got me to listen to two albums, Purple Rain and Dirty Mind. I appreciated both, but always felt like, considering his legacy, I was missing something. I loved the hits, and always felt like that they lined up with what people said about him, and I respect a lot about the guy, but I couldn't get into an album of his the way I thought I ought to, which was very frustrating.

That was all a while ago though, and seeing this album as I was looking through AOTY, I thought I'd give it one more go after listening to the title track. After all, my brother loves it, and the title track seemed up my alley, so maybe this could be the album to finally give me some understanding.

Early on I got concerned it'd be another album where I could take a few songs from it but ultimately be unfulfilled. I even considered calling it a day after 5 or 6 tracks, which I hate doing, but the incongruity between what I hear from other people that I respect about Prince, and what I hear from Prince is too frustrating for me to have an enjoyable experience. I'm glad I held out though, because I loved the second half of this album, and I finally had something sustained for me to latch onto. I don't think I'll be bothering to explore more of Prince's music, but I'm so relieved that there is a run of songs within an album that I can point to and say "this is Prince earning his reputation", especially considering my brother's passion for the music.

Apple Music link

Björk - Post

I've only been writing about music on a public platform for a few months, but one thing I've experienced a lot is the thought that, despite my passion and the potential for a good post about something I love and want to share, it isn't worth making because it's popular. Everyone has already heard about it, so it's just preaching to the choir. Hell, I even felt it to some degree talking about Arctic Monkeys earlier. But the fact that I hadn't listened to Björk yet and only really considered it when Mic the Snare did a Deep Discog Dive on her is one hell of a counterpoint to that. We all have blind spots, and it never hurts to help people find music they might love, even if it's kinda on their radar.

But enough about me, this album was an incredible listen. Experimental, full, and uncompromisingly weird in a way that just makes the emotion more palpable. It's largely cohesive, it's entirely unique, and always passionate. I could compliment this album forever, but I could never fully describe it, but I'll give it my best succinct shot: I once heard someone describe Lorde as essentially gay Radiohead, but from what I've heard from all three artists Björk fills that role way better.

Apple Music link

[waltenfiled]

title: my regards to a murderer

summary: “Had it?”

“No. It hadn't.”

“Compartmentalization works only so long.” Rossi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was.

“Don't be like Uncle Sal.”

OR, IN WHICH; Rossi tries to talk to Spencer after two weeks had passed from Maeve’s death. Spencer ends up hating the conversation.

Love was another thing for Reid, another foreign yet familiar thing. 

He knew the definition of Love as much as any other person in the world; it's fluctuating, frustrating, and something he'd been craving for so long. ‘Maeve would have a better idea of what it is though, she always does’

Reid’s stomach had growled at him furiously as he continued to thumb at the miniature-map. “Victim five was found just east of Victim four,” he recited, his right hand expertly pinpointing the exact locations while he wrote on a separate parchment about the distance, “twelve miles from each other .. no car tracks, no footprints. Which makes sense due to the heavy rain that could have washed any traces of the unsub transporting his victims or any chase from them from the scene.”

He pursed his lips, “You'd think there would be a pattern there; he only attacks during days where it’s guaranteed it’ll rain but–.. no, Victim three was found at another town just far off from victim two and they were both targeted at the same date and had connections with one another. Victim two’s town wasn’t affected by the heavy showers, but the town that victim three was in was affected heavily.” though he noted the particularly blank spot of the map, devoid of any writing nor pins.

“Why didn’t he just dump their bodies in the same place?” he questioned skeptically. ‘Maybe this piece of information could contribute to the profile.’

“And the unsub skipped south entirely, but then again there’s a county there with satisfactory police presence, and a community search party, so I understand the want to avoid it, but–” 

Spencer halted up at the sound of footsteps. Gripping the marker on his left hand tighter with the knowledge of what was about to come.

“Heard from a flock of birds that you didn't leave the precinct at all.” The voice—Rossi, he quickly identified—spoke. Alongside the sound of crinkling plastic. “I brought a snack just in case the chirps were true.”

He continued to look down at the map in front of him. “Is this about the case or is it about something else?” he accused. “If it isn’t, then please leave me alone.” Spencer requested, because truthfully, he didn’t really have the energy to talk about anything else other than the case.

Too many empty nights, too many nightmares, too much cold water splashed on his face had resulted in his sleep being reduced to none. 

Which meant he didn’t have the energy for anything, really, not even to take care of himself. 

Not after Maeve.

To be truthful, he hadn't been able to do anything ever since Maeve had died. Ever since she was shot in front of him, before she was able to kiss him, after she had told him that she loved him more than anybody.

Spencer had never really understood love, but it had felt like he had when he was being loved by Maeve.

None of that mattered anymore, though. She was dead. She was in the past and he was in the future that she couldn't witness anymore.

And he was in a precinct somewhere in Kentucky, overworking himself.

Spencer sighed, “Victim three and two knew each other from university, both coming here for vacation. They weren’t found for two months, even with two police precincts from separate jurisdictions looking for them separately. Their corpses were revealed after a landslide.”

Rossi slowly walked in, cautiously, oh so cautiously, he had looked at him like he would have broken any second. “Did Garcia fact check that they were really going to vacation here?”

Spencer was numbed to that look. It had destroyed him when it was first directed at him; Hotch, as he gripped and pulled him away from the corpse of his lover, whispering to him that he was safe. He was okay now, though, the looks never really disappeared.

Spencer hummed, “even checked their credit cards. They booked a plane ticket to Kentucky just like Louis's father said they did.”

“Louis?”

“Victim number two's name.”

“Ah, alright.”

Spencer sighed, “Louis was just 23.”

Silence enveloped them easily.

It had become second nature for him to go quiet, and the team had adjusted to that quickly. Him contributing during conferences were a thing of the past, now, and he only spoke when he had to, or in Rossi's case, when he needed to. Because Rossi never shuts up.

“Good morning to you too, Reid.” He greeted as he eyed at him, grabbing a chair and gripping at it to pull it back from the table. 

Reid looked up with a small smile, a polite thing that nonverbally said ‘Hi,’ with his lips pressed together. 

Just because he wasn’t feeling it didn't mean he’ll start treating his family badly. “Good morning.” he greeted back, before he looked back down at his work.

He heard the dull thump of the previously mentioned snack beside him, somewhere near his right arm but he didn't care at all to retrieve it. Only continued to inspect his entire life.

The geographic profile, in less dramatic terms. It was fitting though, his work had completely taken over his personal life and he hadn't cared to stop it.

He had nothing.

“Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Sal?” he suddenly said as he sat down, placing both of his hands in front of him on the table. Both of the hands’ fingers entangled with each other as he stared up at Spencer with a sigh.

Spencer looked down at Rossi's hands blankly, and shook his head. He traced with his eyes where the left started and where the right ended. Deciding on abandoning his work for a moment – it was rare that Rossi opens up. 

‘He’s going to talk about himself. That’s good, he’s not going to talk to you about Maeve and convince you that she was an unsub. Keep him talking, you can continue working later.’

“He liked to,” Rossi paused, and Spencer couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he was forcing himself to be as he looked down. “fix up old cars.”

‘Cars?’ He echoed impressed in his head, pursing his lips as a sliver of excitement thumbed at him. He thinks that he might like where this conversation is going, He has a PhD in Engineering, he likes cars too.

“When my Aunt Rosie died, He bought a 1947 Buick,” he emphasized with a cartoonish nod, causing a small amused smile to graze Spencer’s lips, but it disappeared as fast as it appeared. 

“Well, It was a piece of junk really,” he cocked his head to the side, a smile on his face, then he looks back sunkenly.

“but he was obsessed with it.” he said as he leaned a bit closer, his voice quieting just a bit. ”He'd work on it day and night, forgetting to eat, until it was a thing of beauty.” he waved his hands around slowly, opening his hands in a push motion.

Spencer smirked slightly, a polite and proud gesture, before it quickly disappeared. It never really reached his eyes. “Good for your uncle Sal.” he muttered, looking down almost bashfully. “If I had the money to, I would renovate a 1947 Buick too.”

Rossi smiled at that, “Then one day, It got stolen.” he continued the story, looking down to hide his facial expression. The movement was in vain, though. Spencer was a profiler. He could sense grief from a mile away.

He looks back up, his face dropping before he recovers, a barely smiling smile present on his face.”When the cops found it, it had been completely vandalized.” Rossi continued to retell the story with a smile, and in contrast, Spencer's face started drooping, a well-hidden look before he blinked and looked down at the table, pressing his lips tightly against one another.

he gulped and looked back up. 

“Was he devastated?”

I would. He kept to himself.

Rossi looks down to his right for a moment, before looking back at Spencer in a flash “Never recovered.” Rossi's lips pursed, but in an almost bittersweet kind of way. He looked down slowly, a sad melancholy, and he took a deep breath.

“He ... died about a year later.” he said slowly, looking at Reid. 

Whose lips were pressed against each other in thought. And Spencer tried not to falter as Rossi prepared himself to be consulted. He looks like him, almost. Receiving comfort that he didn’t really need.

But hell be damned, Spencer will never leave anybody uncomforted ever again. Not after Penelope had grieved, thumbing at his cheeks as she cried rivers onto his hospital scrubs, comforting him during that quiet night. Having had heard the words that were the truest leave his lips;

He had said, “I don't understand why you’re all so insistent on Maeve being our perpetrator. She's everything to me, and I don't appreciate you all trying to strip me of the one person that made me feel whole again after years of being so alone.”

“Spencer, she raped you.” she had replied, in which he shook and retaliated, 

“She made love with me.”

She cried once more after that.

Spencer turned his head downcasted with a sigh, eyes fluttering, and his eyebrows raisied for a moment as he collected himself. 

Then he said; “I'm sorry about your uncle.” five simple words yet his voice held a sad break, having not expected Rossi’s story to have ended that way. 

But it didn't take a moment for him to connect the dots, and when he does, he straightens his posture.

From the sudden entrance, to the story … Rossi looked up knowingly, watching him as he prepared himself to be talked about Maeve’s death, in return, his face deceivingly relaxed, mouth slightly open with unspoken words.

“I'm sorry about Maeve.”

Spencer looked down as Rossi gave his best reassuring look, albeit mixed with his profiler gaze, it was redundant. 

He was being profiled, he knew. Which was nothing new at this point. Blake, Derek, Hell even Penelope. Spencer's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, before they opened once again. Eyes determined for something .

Maybe to finally admit it.

Admit what, he didn't know.

“3 months and 15 days.” he muttered defeated, surprising himself when he looked back up at Rossi, his voice wobbly with unshed tears, but he still refused to make eye contact, prompting to stare at Rossi's hands instead.

Rossi nodded his head knowingly, “That's why you're not sleeping.” he continued to stare at him, analyzing him. 

He hates that. He hates being analyzed.

Rossj raised an eyebrow and squinted. “This can't go on.” he had said, with an almost crushing finality.

“I realize that,” Spencer cleared his throat, “the socially acceptable amount of time to wallow in grief” he blinked up to look at Rossi, dead in the eyes this time. “is coming to an end.” he finished, looking back down as Rossi says, 

"That's not what I meant."

Spencer shook his head, looking down and swallowing. His chin almost touched his chest before he looked back up, face devoid of emotions, but there's a tired sunken look, that just screams 'I'm tired. I'm grieving. I'm lost.' one that profilers usually wore.

Being a profiler was soul sucking. It truly was. Spencer had fallen for it.

“You wallow as long as you need but talk to someone.” and despite having had nodding along, Rossi leaned in. 

Squinting, as if he knew that the he wasn't taking it to heart.

Spencer licked his lips anxiously, and looked anywhere else but at Rossi. “I feel like …” he gulped, “there are two types of people in this world, Rossi.” 

his voice cracked as he said his friend's name, the same friend that had seen the ends of earth.

Had been a friend of his previous mentor, and friends with the person that shot his lover.

His life. His entire existence.

But surprisingly, he finds that he held no mirth towards the man in front of him. “The one that get over their grief and move on” he said with a bit of bite, but it had not been a hostile bite, more as if he was forcing himself to say it, admit it, finally dig into himself, forcing himself to keep on speaking. 

To keep talking; to keep living.

He looked back up at Rossi and closed his eyes, “And the ones that descend” he shrugs at his wording, “into some sort of endless misery.” a hollow, confused, tired and lost expression on his face was not foreign anymore.

It was at home and the team hadn't liked that, but Spencer had embraced it the moment it came. Claiming permanent residency with his home; he will never truly recover from Maeve.

He doesn't want to, either.

He was fine with sporting the face of a man that had seen the very thing that broke and shattered his life. The look of a man that had nothing left to live for, but still lived.

He was okay with that.

Maeve had died in front of him.

“I know how you feel.” Rossi said with emotion that almost felt foreign to the man, eyes glistening with tears that he refused to shed.

He hated how his first thought was ‘no you don't.’ because he remembers how he couldn't recover from the death of his wife. Because he knew that Rossi did know how he felt.

Because he knew he was being selfish.

Rossi looked up at him, inching closer now, voice more hushed, eyebrows raised affectionately with a small hint of a smile on his face. 

He shook his head. “Give it time.”

Spencer chuckled weakly, his shoulders shaking, “How much time?”

Rossi pondered that.

“I… thought by—” he paused, breathing heavily, his hands mindlessly fidgeting with the pen he'd been holding since the start. “coming to work every day .. and .. helping other people, the pain would lessen, but it hasn't.” he looked back up at Rossi.

“Had it?”

“No. It hadn't.”

“Compartmentalization works only so long.” Rossi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was.

“Don't be like Uncle Sal.”

There was a silence, as Rossi continued to stare at Reid; who swallowed and looked down at his hands, fidgeting aimlessly in his spot.

“You know that I remember every single word we ever said to each other?” he sighed brokenly, shakily in fact, as tears started to gather again.

A couple slipped out, but he willed the other tears to hold themselves still.

“Finally,” Rossi exclaimed quietly, raising his hands, “the downside to an eidetic memory.” he leaned back on his chair as he said this, straightening his posture. There's a small smile on his face as he looks at Reid knowingly.

Knowingly. Rossi always knows … Spencer just looked up, before looking back down again. He'd been envious of his ability to be so carefree, and to just know with no repercussions.

Spencer was selfish. He really was.

Rossi deflated from having not gotten a reaction before he sighed and quietly advised, “Listen…” he leaned closer to sliding his hands on the table smoothly. He blinks at Spencer, initiating eye contact again as he says comfortingly, 

“Spencer... If you want to feel better,”

Rossi quirked his head as Spencer looked up at him desperately, lips pressed together as he stared at Rossi with sunken eyes, he must look like he's close to crying. He sighs, “You can't control the process. You have to let yourself grieve.”

Spencer licked his lips and laid his head downcasted. “I'm not sleeping because—” he cut himself off, swallowing and pressing his lips thin. 

“When I do I dream about Maeve.” he confessed tiredly, throatily, an almost empty dissertation and a detached expression settling refuge on him.

“When I see her,” he smiled quietly, “I feel the sweetest relief imaginable.” he said, his smile widening before it disappeared faster than it appeared. 

“She always asks me to dance but,” a smile crawls onto his face again, though he pauses talking and takes a quick breath. 

“But,” he shrugs, “I can't” he emphasizes, a hint of frustration and his voice almost pitches up, then his voice quiets weakly, “because .. I don't know how to dance and ..”

“... because I never even got to touch her when she was alive.” he said brokenly, voice cracking just a bit. He looked at Rossi for a quick second before he licked his lips and broke eye contact, he sighs knowingly to himself, almost self-deprecating.

“I know if I give into that fantasy I'll be lost forever, so …” he had breathily spoke, pausing for the better of himself, then his voice had gotten watery and wobbly, emotional. “I force myself to wake up.” he sunk against his chair, trying to hide from Rossi's sympathetic regards.

He sniffed and asked plainly “is that a part of normal healing?” 

Rossi exhaled from his nose, a defeated look on his face.

‘ I guess not. ’ he bitterly thought to himself. ‘because of course it isn't.’

“Spencer. I'm going to say something you won't like.” Rossi told, giving him the leeway to end the conversation, or to prepare himself.

He closed his eyes and sighed, bringing his legs close to his chest and circled his arms around himself. Curling up into an upward fetal position like he always did when he needed comfort but was too afraid to ask for.

“Dreaming about your abuser like that is unhealthy, but I can't blame you because she slithered into your heart and made you believe that you love her, because you were vulnerable. You hadn't felt so loved before her, and that's our fault for leaving you so alone when you spend the most of your time around us.” Rossi spoke, raising a finger to silence him as he moved to speak, to speak against his claims, to retaliate about something.

Rossi shook his head. “You let her sleep with you because you've been deprived of love. You let her into your apartment after she told you her stalker was watching over you two. You let her see your most bare state because you didn't know at what point you should stop revealing who you are. You had only known her for, what, 7 months?”

“... A year and half of January.”

“A year and half of January, yet you were already ready to marry her because you're young, and you're in love, and you're an agent in the federal bureau of investigation, being deployed into the field where you'll die any day. You were so desperate, so in love, so dazed from your need, your secret correspondences, to sharing hushed secrets you would never dare tell anybody else, to realize she was taking advantage of you.”

Spencer shook in his seat, “Stop—”

“Spencer, she was taking advantage of you. She's an unsub. You have to see that she was using you for her plan.”

“But what if she wasn't?” he spoke, “what if our love was real and she didn't need me for her plan? What if she fell in love with me by chance, with nothing to tie me with her ability to go against the law?”

“So you'll excuse her crimes? Would you do that to your father if you grew up loving him? Even though he raped you, beat you bloody, killed innocent children in your basement?”

Spencer stood up with a jolt, his right knee had hit the table but he found that he didn't really care. “Get out!”

“Spencer—” Rossi, that bastard, started.

“Get out if you're not gonna help me out with the geographical profile Rossi.” he muttered, his hand had moved to rest against the idle gun in the holster. 

“Or so god help me.” He said, with a crushing finality to the man he had considered to be a friend. To a man he spent his love to, even if just for a few moments.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he loved too easily because he was vulnerable and didn't know when to stop.

After all, Spencer was never really told the true definition of love. Not even his own mother.

[rubywithin]

Fate Hunter 6

The mountain side again....huh am I also here this time I saw the woman again but in a hood this time! I took a step closer.....aaah my head is spinning but I want to know who she is. Just a few more steps (Gear) "AAAAHH"....I suddenly woke up, it was just a dream. I saw some sort of blob staring at me....-thump- ouch I fell out of bed....great now the thing is escaping! (Morgana) "Gear can I come in?" (Gear) "Sure..." I I guess I woke her up with my scream. I then explained what had just happened to me, (Morgana) "Hmm I see this could be an issue, I have heard a few locals have been having nightmares! This could be the work of a Nerazell manipulating people's dreams". (Gear) "Is that um..possible?" she nodded and told me about how some of those beings having powers. The two I fought banked on raw power but I guess this one is a bit more cunning!

I went back to bed.....-The next day- I was able to get a bit of sleep but that thing being out there is going to bug me. If it targets people at night it will be hard to hunt it down especially since it seems to go into people's home's. (Morgana) "Gear dear your school friend has arrived to give you some note's!". I went downstairs and it was....um Nonora....I still have that image in my head of her being mad at me. (Gear) "Hey um thanks for helping me catch up" (Nonora) "It's um no issue....I hope you get better soon!". I thanked her but talking to her was hard ugh why did I have to upset her.....(Morgana) "Oh silly me I will let you two revise in peace, toodles." I caught up on the work I had missed today, I can write a lot faster than the teacher's explain but then Nonora insisted on quizzing me to make sure I took the info in. (Gear) "Nonora thanks for caring....I know I made things hard for you and I am truly sorry. It's just that I....".

(Nonora) "Gear you don't have to explain....I just shouldn't of lashed out at you. I just couldn't handle being judged like you do but if I can I am willing to handle some of the burden!" (Gear) "Thank's that means a lot" we talked a bit about rumours we had heard lately! (Nonora) "Oh have you heard about how someone supposedly snuck into Crecent's Bakery last night?" I shook my head, I had only just woke up before she arrived and hadn't been out. "Oh I see well apparently one of the display shelves was damaged but the crazy thing is there was no sign of someone breaking in!" -Gulp- Crescent's isn't that far from here and that thing could still be lurking around! "Gear are you okay? you are looking a bit pale!" (Gear) "I was just a bit concerned since that place is nearby, is it fine if we call it a day? I should um warn miss Trefate my new Guardian about this! It was nice seeing you though Nonora" (Nonora) "Yeah it was great talking see you Monday!"

I then phoned Morgana, (Gear) "Looks like that thing is targeting the Bakery nearby. And um if it keeps damaging the property it might cause the owner to worry about their business!" (Morgana) "Good job on the profiling kid, think you can handle a night shift? (Gear) "Yeah but um how do I get in?" (Morgana) "Don't worry about that I can um set up a doorway for you later, rest up then when night falls take that thing out!" I felt kind of nervous about this since I was worried about getting caught. Then again this time around I should have Morgana as backup....I swear if she tells me she needs her sleep. Well I guess I should go lye down and make sure I am ready to fight this thing.