#i don't want anymore regrets

[my-thirteenth-reason]

i just watched the ssmy graduation and god im so not looking forward to graduation myself jshdjshfjs

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[ayara-resara]

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[rainintheevening]

Caspian IX & Caspian X

There was a time / I used to look into my father's eyes / In a happy home / I was a king, I had a golden throne / Those days are gone ... I remember how it all changed / My father said / Don't you worry, don't you worry child / See Heaven's got a plan for you /Don't you worry / Don't you worry now

- 'Don't You Worry Child' cover by Kurt Schneider & Sam Tsui

For @an-angels-fury because this song has been making me feel things.

[scribbly-bear]

Ugh, I wanted to finish the dragon amigurumi this week, but I really don't think I can, I still have to do two wing webbing things, add all the wire, sew it all together, and then add any details.

So, maybe it'll be done next week.

Hopefully.

[acewithapaintbrush]

We had lunch with a family friend and we talked about kids and also how I don't want them and he uttered that expected but hated "You might regret not having kids one day"

And my mother(!!!!) was like, "Yeah maybe, but if she has kids and regrets that it would be even worse and not just for her but for her kids as well"

Yes mother, preach it louder!!!!

[forcebookish]

i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.

[hylianengineer]

Has anyone ever bought used/refurbished electronics before? Trying to figure out if this is the sort of thing I'm going to regret later.

[bredforloyalty]

moved out of the apartment today with my mom's help and got to clean and pack with her for two days while she was off from work but actually there was an emergency so she also had to work the whole time and on the way back i got a wonderful opportunity to listen to her monologize in the car for hours and hours about how she's disappointed in what i've become and i wasted three years and wasted her money and her support and i'm ungrateful and i didn't do anything right and also i should start caring about my health and about my appearance because i will never be happy in this (ugly, hairy, fat) body and also she doesn't root for me or believe that everything will be okay but she doesn't understand why i don't feel secure and why i don't trust myself or believe that everything will be okay.

[cirilya]

Why do i always relate to anyhow repressed male characters. I'm just a teenage bisexual girl but clive durham i get you on a spiritual level pls never forget that.

[someprettyname]

Nami, it's good you've decided not to pick up JJK again. Your theory about Kenjaku getting into Gojo's body? Well... not exactly–

Um, the narrative has always put Gojo as a weapon over a person and... um, Yuta has the copy technique, so... well.

I am not okay. Just– Just check the leaks. 261. I'm done with this shit. I can't.

*proceeds to stick with the manga anyway*

I feel sick. Please don't talk to me about it now. I don't know gege. I don't know jjk. My god. Listen. LISTEN. There's only so far I can take it without questioning the sanity and morals of the writer. And what I know is I don't GIVE A FUCKING SHIT anymore. Bring back Megumi, bring back gojo to life, bring back nanami, Suguru anyone, this can't be undone. I"m done. Bye. I don't want jjk in my life no more. I have good memories with the fandom and I don't want to fuck that up by reading and updating myself on what's happening. The plot is good, fine. But the writing in itself is fucked up. And I don't even wanna know what kind of human he is irl. Gege i mean. Because what the fuck man? What's this for? Because people are dropping the manga and you need the viewership back? He did NOT need to do this. There's so much fucked up shit that has happened in jjk verse, he could've brewed up something else, he DID NOT NEED TO DO THIS. That's all I'm saying. Gege is one of the authors on my "never read from" list and Gojo. Oh gojo. MY baby my love. You're one of the best characters I've ever read my love. He wasn't just the strongest physically but even mentally. As a person. My god. Gege can have my forgiveness NEVER. Oh gojo Satoru the heart you have.

[pardonmydelays]

if there's one thing that is absolutely pissing me off it's my irl friend who wanted to see my instagram account

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

dietitian warned me the other day i may need to go inpatient if this keeps getting worse and it hasn't left my mind ever since. partly because i don't see the reason. i am literally gaining weight. and also because a non-zero part of me wants to go back inpatient and i don't know why

[lauronk]

Can I ask about making some memories with a lot of regret?

the lyric for this one is from "way way back" by aly & aj. i think it was an instance of having to dig through my lyric list for something that fit, and this was one were it was like...half of the title fit ellie, half fit joel. ellie's just making memories in a train, seeing something she's never experienced; and we all know joel is just choked with regret most days.

my favorite part:

(had to sneak in the busfic joke of course lol)

the fic

ask me about my titles

[icefire149]

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