#i don't usually post things on tumblr but this was fully formed and i'm too impatient to wait and take a second pass + post on ao3

[faillen]

a little conversation I imagined happened before the bachelor party/wedding

---

"Hey," Tommy said, twisting his index finger into the hem of Buck's t-shirt sleeve. "Been meaning to ask—"

Buck tipped his head back against Tommy's shoulder to make eye contact. "Mhm?"

"How do you feel about PDA?"'

"Oh, I'm fine w—" Buck found himself stuttering to a stop, and his own hesitation had him flushing, stomach turning. "I—Actu—"

"Hey, no, you don't need to answer right now," Tommy said. "I just wanted to make sure I asked."

"Yeah, no, th—" this angle was shit for eye contact. "Actually, can we—" he lifted Tommy's arm off his shoulders and over his head, twisting so that he was sitting with his good leg tucked underneath him, facing Tommy and meeting his kind, open eyes. The thing that had threatened to topple loose in Buck's chest resettled.

"Evan," Tommy said, adjusting so that he was sitting the same way. He reached out and pulled Buck's hand into his lap. "There's no wrong answer, I promise."

"Right," Buck replied. "I know, it's just."

He liked PDA, he liked the easy affection of slinging his arm around someone's waist, or dropping a quick kiss. PDA was really, really nice when it came from feeling secure with who he was with.

But at the same time, there was still—when he and Tommy were in public together, there was still a part of him that was almost expecting someone to jump out from behind the bushes and yell that he was a "faker, fake! This guy isn't bisexual, he's a FAKE! Look at this asshole, pretending that he's a que—"

"Evan?"

"Sorry." Buck said quickly, snapping back into focus. Tommy's brows had dipped together, but he didn't say anything, just squeezed Buck's hands. "Sorry, I—" Buck took a deep breath. "I don't want to, y’know. Stick you back in the closet. But."

"Not being comfortable with PDA is not sticking me back in the closet," Tommy replied. "It's just you not being comfortable with PDA."

"But I am comfortable with PDA," Buck protested. "I just—" he hunched in on himself, unable to finish the sentence in a way that didn't inadvertently sound like a personal indictment of Tommy. Or suggested that he wasn't ready. "I think I need more time. And that doesn't feel fair to you."

"Evan," Tommy said slowly. "There's no expectation here. We can take it slow, I don't mind letting you lead."

Tommy's patience, Buck was beginning to fear, was endless. Which made him feel all the worse for saying things with the expectation that Tommy would interpret the worst out of them.

"You've been letting me lead with everything though." Buck swallowed. "Don't you want things, too?"

Tommy looked momentarily taken aback. "Of course I do," he said. "But I don't want things that make you uncomfortable."

"Right. But I know I hurt you," Buck pointed out. "On our first date, when I was uncomfortable. I know you said it was—but—I mean, I know it must've hurt."

Mouth pursing, Tommy sighed. "Alright, it did," he admitted. "But that's different. It's not like this—I don't. Okay, I actually don’t really know why this feels different, but it is. I suppose it’s because I know that you want this. And not wanting PDA doesn’t mean that this doesn’t feel real.”

“Unlike me acting like we were going to go pick up girls.”

Tommy tipped his head to the side, shoulders shrugging up. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I did say that I didn’t want to push you. And I think it was both. I was hurt, and I didn’t want to ask for more than you were ready to give.”

“And get more hurt.” Buck exhaled heavily. “I want to give you things,” he said. Because he did, he really, really did. “I’m not going to make you wait forever.”

The corner of Tommy’s mouth ticked up. “I know,” he murmured, the words laden not with a sense of expectation, but with a sense of surety that Buck would catch up with him eventually. “I’m not worried about that, Evan. Promise.”

“But if you ever are,” Buck said with a pointed look.

“I’ll tell you,” Tommy replied. He smiled. “So, temporary hold on the PDA?”

“Temporary hold,” Buck agreed. Then paused. “Wa-wait, does that mean hugs, too?”

Tommy laughed. “I think that’s up to you. Do you want to hug me, Evan?”

Buck grinned. “Yeah,” he said. “I do.”

And then he tackled Tommy into the couch.

(And then they did a little more than just hugging.)

[dykeharris]

proof that andrew was not "a man that just had autogynephillia"

i am a sweet girl but i fucking hate transphobes!!! yall make me act like my dad!!!!

"i can't describe that desire to go. the desire to be a woman again, the desire to just get out of this body and out of this world.

clearly her describing that she feels like a woman and believes that she will be a woman again when she dies!!!! it is obvious she had gender dysphoria - pretty extreme gender dysphoria, honestly.

"why am i damned to spend too to three decades in this disgusting body?? i'm not a man. sorry mom and dad, but i'm not sorry, i'm a fucking woman."

oh but andrews just a man with a fetish right ?!?!? yall (andrew haters) sound so retarded

exhibit c: her ghost persona who is very obviously a woman!!

no this isnt mackenzie but i do understand the confusion! they both have purpleish eyes, purple accents in their clothes and purple outlines.. andrew designed them awfully similar. pro tip: andrew blaze has indigo eyes and a blue fire symbol on her shirt

heres a picture of andrew & mackenzie together for reference!

unfortunately there is a limit to one video per post on tumblr. utter bullshit, but alas...

quote from suicide tape #9 "the drive (02)" at 30:06 ... "but then it goes back to, y'know, i'm a female soul. i'm a girl. girls don't look like that."

here andrew discusses her weight and how women are usually thinner, (she'd be surprised to meet me-) which she compares to the fact that she is very underweight herself.

read andrew's journal here!

"i had no idea she was this depressed."

this is probably the most damning evidence i've seen regarding andrew's identity. when pretending to speak as her mother, she refers to herself with she pronouns. yeah "andrew was a man" antis i'd love to see you explain this one

"i want to chop my penis off so bad ... to have my pussy and breasts back."

a bit vulgar but who gaf shes a grown ass woman . just more proof that she saw herself as female and believed that when she would die she would take the form of a female. textbook signs of gender dysphoria

"i guess the proper term would be 'transgender' but i don't even fully agree on that ... i'm legit a girl trapped inside a boy's body. i'm a feminine soul."

the line that stupid bitch took out of context to tell me andrew wasn't actually trans. trump, please don't make us pay for education, people are retarded enough as it is.

she didn't like the label transgender. which makes sense, i don't think andrew would've liked labels.

"...yet here i am in a filthy man's body seen as a 'dude.' i'm one of you (female), not a male."

first of all i am unsure why anyone would call her a pedophile considering she just turned 18 in 2010 but that's besides the point

i really don't know how any more obvious she can get. how many times does she have to say "i am a woman" for you idiots to get it. this also proves she was a massive dyke but we already knew that. lesbians win again!

"i can't take my eyes off the slim teenaged girls... i see them and think "why wasn't i born that way?"... i was destined to exist in a female's body."

more proof except this one's really upsetting and made me cry when i first saw it. i, being a cisgender woman, will never understand the hardship trans women go through but please know that i'm trying to understand your pain as much as possible and i love every single one of you.

i sort of understand this, as an incredibly insecure teenager i do look at other girls and think "why don't i look like them?" but at the end of the day, i still have female anatomy, i still go to sleep blessed that i am a woman and my body reflects that.

i think i'll continue this thought in a separate post

"there are some things a girl's heart just can't let go of."

referring to herself as a girl when talking about her friend's death.

.

.

.

EEEKKK okay i wrote this post on JUNE 6, it is now JULY 11... yeah i'm so sorry . i totally forgot about it KDSAKJSDANSADKDSA

it isn't finished but i feel like this is more than enough evidence to prove that andrew was in fact trans

so if you believe andrew was a man even after reading all this , then please block me!! :3 you're not welcome here

[weemietime]

There isn't a whole lot of content on Tumblr about schizoid personality disorder so I thought I would make a little informational post. SZPD is a cluster A personality disorder, of the odd/eccentric cluster alongside schizotypal and paranoid. It is on the schizophrenia spectrum, and comprises the negative rather than positive symptoms of schizophrenia.

This primarily means we have avolition, catatonia, flat/blunted affect (demeanor), limited interoception (emotional sensations), lack of bonds to others including primary family members, and indifference to the opinions of others.

Whilst this isn't a diagnostic criteria, many of us are also asexual and aromantic, meaning we don't want to have sex with other humans (but usually do masturbate) and have no interest in romantic companionship.

My most disabling symptom is avolition, because I have comorbid ADHD. This means when I don't have my medication (dextromethorphan 120mg) I just sit there and zone out and can't even hold a conversation or move my body, nor even do things like feed myself. It is genuinely crippling and I am unemployed because of this, even though my meds help, they don't cure me and I need a lot of time alone.

Schizoid is something of an "anti-human" disorder, because we fail to form basic social bonds with others including primary caregivers. As a child I got diagnosed with inhibited RAD because I could not tolerate human contact. This differs from autism because autistic people generally want to socialize, they just lack the skills. I don't want to socialize and it takes tremendous effort for me to do so.

To even make this post I had to wait for my meds to click in as I was just sitting there mindlessly beforehand. While we have low internal sensations of emotions like caring, love, happiness, trust, sadness, etc. we aren't typically antisocial/dissocial and don't have a pattern of exploiting others or dishonesty. This requires too much effort.

There is a schizoid version of narcissism but it is separate to narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is characterized by a very fragile ego. You can't contradict or disagree with NPD because they are unable to regulate the emotions caused by conflict. Conversely, SZPD does not care about the opinions of others at all and places little value on them.

Our sense of superiority is legitimate, meaning we just do genuinely believe we are smarter than other people. So your mileage may vary on how insufferable you find that. I recognize this trait in myself and work to actively challenge it since it is illogical for me to think I am more special than anyone else. But, my ego is very stable, so criticism doesn't bother me the way it would in NPD.

Interoception means the sensations you feel inside your body. We lack this, so even stuff like hunger and tiredness don't impact us until we are very hungry or extremely exhausted. I don't have the feeling you would to look at a family member and get a sense of love or trust. I have a logical sense of obligation that I developed through choosing what I value based on reason. I describe this as care, and I place importance on my friendships, but there is no emotional component to this, it is all cognitive.

Tangentially: I'm somewhat of an optimistic nihilist, believing that there is no grand purpose to existence. Yes, even as a religious person. I don't think G-d ultimately has a purpose either, as an agent of the universe. (I don't believe G-d created the universe.) We have a human nervous system, so we base our rubric for morality on suffering and decide what is meaningful both collectively and individually.

I don't believe in true freedom of will (but I do believe we have agency), because we know that Bereitschaftspotential or reaction potentials occur in the brain up to two seconds before we become conscious of a volitional desire. Our consciousness occurs because of quantum synchronicity in the brain, so our free will is in a bit of an in-between state rather than fully determined or fully free.

So, we are not born deciding "I'm going to be an abuser," that happens because of brain abnormalities. It's no different than the forces of creation and destruction at work like a virus infecting a host cell. I don't place much importance on concepts of self-hood, I view myself as the electrical and chemical processes that occur in my brain, which happen without my choosing, that I can influence and impact through my own agency.

Anyway, these are just some basic schizoid meanderings for you all and I hope that this was informative or interesting in some way. Peace.

[microwavesaferat]

Okay, I never post on Tumblr but I just got hit with such a violent hyperfixation that I forcibly had to put into words so, this is long one.

Life Series SMP as the Magnus Archives

So I had an idea for a Life Series AU where all the players are an avatar of one of the fears from tma. Warning that I haven't seen all Cc's povs so I'm mainly going off of vibes and moments I remember. I also tried to have at least 1 member in each fear.

Bdubs - The Dark

This is for obvious reasons with his association with sleeping and clocks. My hc is that, cause he can't sleep the night away, he kind of became an avatar of the dark. I like the idea of him just kind of hiding in shadowy corners, the only way to know he's there is by the sound of the clock letting you know that it's night now and you should not be out at this time.

BigB - The Spiral

This is mainly based on the whole thing with secret life and the weird corridors he had. I like the idea of that every time you look at him, you're not sure what emotion he is feeling. Is he happy? Annoyed? Angry? Who's to say. And where does that corridor lead anyway? Oh, wait, he says there are no corridors, but you just saw one didn't you? Oh, it's gone now, where did it go? Where did it's contents go?

Cleo - The Flesh

This was an obvious one. As much as I think she could also fit into other categories like the desolation, it's too hard to ignore the obvious aesthetical choice of making them a Flesh avatar. I mean, come on. I think as a fully realised avatar, she would have too many limbs. There are at least 7 leg warmers and sweatbands, not all on legs or arms. She had to work hard at jazzercise to get legs like that. And I mean it, the original owner was still using them.

Etho - The Stranger

This was a tough one, but I kind of like where I ended up. In almost every season, he has had more than one alliance, usually a main team and a back up one. Especially in Wild Life, where he was teamed with pretty much everyone. I think he, as a full stranger avatar, is always your friend, but also always your enemy but he's also the enemy of your enemy so he's your friend? At this point you're not sure how loyal he is to you or anyone for that matter. I also think that everyone has seen under the mask, but it's all different things. "I saw Etho's face, he had a huge mustache" "What? No, he doesn't have a mouth" "I saw that he had 2 mouths under there" "I saw every possible outcome of every universe happening simultaneously and in all of them, humanity perishes" "this is why we don't talk to you."

Gem - The Corruption

So this is mainly to do with the whole zombie thing in Secret Life. I was toying with the idea of Bdubs being the Corruption as well due to the Boogieman kills. I'm still not entirely sure of my decision. I want the Corruption ideas to lean into how people draw Gem as some form of woodland creature or druid. I like the idea of the Corruption being like plant life/small bugs. As a full avatar, she would look like how she is commonly drawn, but it's not entirely clear if that's skin, fur or bark. There's bugs in it regardless. Are her eyes glowing? Is it the fireflies around her or is it actually coming from her eyes? I think she'd appear almost like the Creaking, where you turn away and suddenly greenery and bugs start swarming from the ground, consuming you.

Grian - The Eye

I'm really in-between fears for this. As much as the Watcher symbolism works well for the Eye, I wasn't sure if I wanted both him and Martyn to be avatars of the Eye. I eventually decided, given he sets up the games and runs them, Knowing slightly more info than other participants, it does really tend towards the Beholding. I like the idea of an unwilling avatar like Jon is, but his abilities grow more and more over the seasons before it gets to Wild Life where someone is like "I wonder what the wildcard is today" and Grian is just suddenly flashbanged with the image of:

🐌

Impulse - The End

I haven't really watched Impulse POVs so I wasn't really sure what to do. I have a vague memory of him always doing quite well and getting in the last few a lot. I also know that previous teams have banked on Impulse being the member that could actually win. Regardless, he always dies just before he can win. I think he's a new, unwilling avatar, not fully coming to terms with his new identity, he always gets so close, only for death to sweep him away and he is forced to try again. I think that he, as an avatar, would be themed around wasting time, the concept that everything ends in death so the time spent before is pointless and wasted, this especially applies after his death in limited life.

Jimmy - The End

I mean, come on. The Canary Curse? Need I say more? I will add though that I think he's slowly becoming a fully realised avatar, hence why, in recent seasons he's not been out first, able to harness and manipulate his curse. Jimmy's always the first out, so we're all safe until he goes.... Right?

Joel - The Desolation

So this is about the whole "the ship burns, everything burns". I feel like, near the end of every series, he slowly gets more and more angry and violent. He usually starts acting almost desperate, think of his desperation in Last Life with his faulty traps. He is angry, volatile, and will do anything to burn everything you cherish to the ground. If the ship burns, everything burns.

Lizzie - The Buried

I've never really watched Lizzie's POV and I also didn't have anyone for the Buried. I couldn't think of anyone else that would work, so this is based on how, whenever she dies, someone seems to try and sell her bones to Joel. It's a weirdly common thing. I was gonna do the vast cause of her ending in Secret Life, but she did go down, not up, so I prefer the idea that she got stuck underground. It may look like the night sky, but it's the lack of air slowly choking her, unable to claw her way out, suffocating in silence deep under the ground.

Martyn - The Hunt

So I was also gonna put Martyn with the Eye because of the whole Watcher/Listener thing, but I think the Hunt fits better. I like the arc of his transformation over the course of the Life Series. In 3rd Life, he's essentially a soldier for the Red Army. Then, after realising the bloodlust and red haze, he becomes a relatively peaceful Southlander. But eventually, he kills his soulmate, unable to contain the need to kill and hunt. It reaches its peak in limited life where he just snaps, kind of like Daisy at the end of season 4. He then spent Secret Life as a dog before going back to his Red King as his hand in Wild Life. Ren may be an actual dog, but Martyn is his bloodhound.

Mumbo - The Web

Okay, hear me out: Mumbo as a very new avatar of the web who, due to the machinations of mother spider, is not aware of his avatar status, the avatar status of his pears, nor the existence of the fears at all. Think about it, every time Mumbo has gone out of the series, it has been his own fault. He attacks Grian unprepared, completely forgetting the ramifications of his actions. Gets stuck on a fence he placed then killed by a Warden. Gets stuck in his own spider's web of tnt minecart tracks. He also never goes for kills with basic PvP, it's always some elaborate scheme; making end crystals from a ghast farm, making a complex system of tracks for launching tnt, digging out a pit under a base and waiting for sooooooo long for someone to conveniently walk over the hole (also the web fucked that up for him with the fireworks in the background). I also really like the idea of the webs being like lines of redstone. I cannot draw, but can fully imagine the fanart in my head.

Pearl - The Hunt/Lonely

So Pearl is a double avatar. I couldn't decide between them. I hc her as the concept of looking out on the moors to see the silhouette of a lone hunter, on a horse with only the company of her hunting dogs. I think she embodies the solitude and the quiet of hunting by yourself. The only company she has is snarling hunting dogs, there to help stalk and tear at her prey. The only issue is, this hunter isn't looking for game.

Ren - The Slaughter

Ren does also fit with the hunt, but given his whole King persona, he lends more to the idea of a war waged by leaders in distant lands with a large toll amounting of nameless soldiers fighting for ideals their King tells them to believe in. I think his whole Red King character is pretty much a Slaughter avatar as is, so not much needs to change. I'm not entirely sure how I mix this with other seasons, but I do believe that Ren's most iconic character is the Red King, so fight me I guess. Red Winter is coming.

Scar - The Lonely

So Scar always focused on his connection (or lack there of) with Grian. He died, leaving his partner alone. Then he lived in recluse on a mountain, unable to bring back what he had. Even when forced to partner up, he is still alone. It takes him till Secret Life to finally embrace his avatar identity of being alone. Rumour has it that, on the Secret Life world, you can hear faint humming. No idea where the source is though, it's hard to find anything in the vast sunflower field.

Scott - The Vast

Scott was also hard to place, but I can't fight his whole spacey vibe. I also like the idea that, by refusing to succumb to the Boogieman curse, he defied the Watchers, these enormous, all powerful deities. I like the imagery of Scott, an ant in the face of these gods, being the bigger man.

Skizz - The Lonely

So Skizz is normally one of the first out in his team. He's also prone to sacrificing himself for the sake of the team. I think that is a lonely existence. I believe that Skizz, after giving his life to allow his team to move on, is forced to sit and watch. Unable to talk to his former teammates and stuck in isolation watching them go on without him.

Tango - The Desolation

Tbf, I think the way people draw Tango as a blaze has skewed my perception a bit. But I do believe the volatile anger he has works well with the idea of the desolation. As well as that, he has also had everything he loves destroyed. His ranch, his trust, etc. he's experienced so much desolation, he has simply become the burning fire of grief that laps at his feet.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or changes I should make.

[rodger-eyeballis]

RODGER:

•┎────────────────────•┖─► ” Good afternoon. I usually keep my phone clean of unnecessary apps.. But Toodles (my beautiful little girl) suggested that I blog in some kind of.. ‘Tumblr' (I've never heard of it)..? It's too hard for me to refuse her, that's why I'm here now. Be polite and don't write me nonsense. Then it will be a pleasure for me to do business with you. ”

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE BLOG'S PLOT:

— Rodger believes that almost all of his memories are fake because he is a toon (people just created a ‘life’ in the toons' head in order to make full-fledged personalities out of them). Link

— Roger has fully confirmed the fact of his divorce from Teagan. Link

— The termen ‘Twisted' is not known to Rodger. However, he is currently conducting three investigations.: 1) why the Medjers abandoned toons, 2) Why Dandy is looking for a corrupted Ichor, 3) the loss of Astro. Link. Perhaps the star boy went to look for books for Brigtney on the lower floors.. But why hasn't he been here yet? Link. An Ichor cluster disappeared on the lower floors, which greatly surprised Rodger. But now the toons have the opportunity to get previously unavailable supplies.. Did Astro do this? Link. The pipes started making a suspicious noise, which made Rodger very worried. However, a new stage of the operation begins, where he will search for seeds and simultaneously find out about star boy. Link Astro has been declared completely missing. Link

Twisted: 0?/27

— Rodger can how to switch his eye to his mouth. Link

— Roger talks to Glisten all the time out of pity, but is that so? One thing is clear — he does not have mutual feelings for him... Or is he experiencing it? Roger seems to be confused about himself. Link It seems that a serious conversation didn't go very well and Rodger just decided to run away from the problem. What happened? Link A quarrel without reconciliation. Rodger has done something he won't regret.. as he thinks for himself. Link

— Brigtney has a more sophisticated club, which now includes: Rodger, Toodles, Teagan, Razzle and Dazzle, Glisten, the lost Astro and actually Vee. Link

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Hi!! I am Fiddii/FiRRii! You may have already seen me, because I'm making art on DW. I was very much inspired by this game, so I wanted to create a blog on behalf of Rodger) But this is not an ordinary rp.. I decided to literally make it look like the character is running this page and posting his thoughts here^^ Keep that in mind.

I want to do EVERYTHING here in my headcanon, so don't beat me up (mean, there will be some restrictions on the relationship). I will try to answer in a written form and sometimes Iwill draw small sketches ;)

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(DNI: PROSHIPPERS, XENOPHILES, HOMOPHOBIA, AND RACISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED)

1. Ships (broships) only those that are listed on my.. table (???) sorry

+ table age!

2. If you want to write a question on behalf of toon's, then it's purely in the form of a ‘phone text’ (As I wrote, this is a real blog on tumblr).

3. The blog is conducted exclusively in the world of "Dandys World". Please don't bring up our real world (there may be some exceptions, but they're just for me)

4. As Rodger said, be polite and don't incite hatred here.

5. Yes, this is my au, based on headcanon (But I'm trying to rely on canon Dandys world for the most part).

6. Caution: mention of reflective detective (Please have tolerance for this blog).

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‘Enjoy watching!’ #blog rodger_bll

[disarmd]

For the fic ask game: feel free to do one or all of these 💕

4, 17 and 24

[fic ask game]

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

i already mentioned my unhinged porny rapunzel idea, but i have lots of story ideas, so i will answer again, haha. i think a lot about a lando/max/ofc fic, like the whole story be one scene where they're out partying together. it would obviously have to be au- no partners and children. but lando thinking max is straight and trying to navigate a bi threesome with him would be 10/10. i don't want to describe it too fully now in case i actually do end up writing it but themes around masculinity, competition/friendship, internalized homophobia. and a threesome. so, that's the stuff.

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative

i'm just going to keep saying this every time i answer a question on this topic to try to do my tiny part to combat productivity obsession, but if i don't want to write, i just think: yeah, you're tired, you don't have to write. but it can be really hard, like sometimes i'll feel bad and i'll think i want to write, but it actually makes me feel worse.

but to actually answer the question, broad strokes, i think it's like:

do i want to feel more inspired? that often comes from consuming other people's art. can't happen on demand, because it has to be the right thing that hits in the right way, but when the feeling hits, it's the greatest joy.

do i want to have more things to write about? might have to go out and do some living. sometimes have to refill the lived experience tank.

do i want to feel more connected to a creative community? i was hitting a wall writing in abidance where it felt like i'd been writing it for quite a long time, so i decided to start posting, and that ended up being the absolute best decision. going from more solitary to a shared experience of communication made me feel so recharged, and it went from "finishing so it'll be done" to like "finishing so i can share with these specific people who have been so awesome." or if a don't have a wip in a place where i can start posting, just getting to come on tumblr and do like fic ask games or talk about writing generally can feel really recharging. and then certainly getting to hang out in friends' gdocs and like being in that reader role instead of the writer one. the balance of creating and contributing and consuming.

and then just looking after the meatsack. i am not feeling creative today because i threw my neck out on tuesday and haven't been sleeping all week and there's nothing that's going to fix that other than HOPEFULLY eventually not being in pain and catching up on sleep. i'm trying to do more strength training but apparently i'm only capable of lifting from my neck and it's making me so fucking mad, even though i went to a physio who said my form was correct and i shouldn't be having problems, but anyway. human bodies, unfortunately. they do also impact our brains.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

i wrote the longest response to this, which i imagine most people won't want to read, but eye personally love hearing about other people's writing process, so this is like the FULL ANSWER in case there are other folks who feel the same.

i only start writing when i've got past daydreaming about ~vibes and have the actual shape of a story in my mind. not full and complete, but a story shaped story, broadly. then, i write whatever i am most interested in, from any part of the story. however, because i love delayed gratification, i usually save some amount of the stuff i'm most excited about to write last. it's very comforting, if you're feeling stuck, to know you've got Scene XYZ saved, and you already know how that's going to go and you're confident you're going to be able to write it, so you're not STUCK stuck. you're just having trouble with some of the story.

depending, i might write a whole scene in one writing session, or multiple small ones, or just scene fragments. sometimes i come to the same scene multiple times. like if you imagine i have to write everything from one through ten, i might write 3 and 4, and then another day write 6, and then another day 2, 7 and 9. like just keep coming back to chip away at it. and i do think of it as chipping away, because it feels like i'm approaching it from different angles. first we carve away this, then this, then that. i start as close as possible to the thing that matters most in the scene instead of working my way up to it. often it turns out a scene can start very close to the best bit.

but it can get to the point of being quite annoying to have so many different unfinished parts, so eventually i start going through chronologically and finishing things. i'll move the finished stuff to a separate gdoc to share with a friend. in addition to everything else amazing about having someone willing to look at your WIP, i really really like being incentivized to finish entire sections. like, boom, first chapter done and gone. i'm pretty good at holding a lot of stuff in my head, but eventually the mental load gets to me a bit. also i use white space to represent how much text there should ultimately be between different scene fragments and at a certain point it's just irritating to have to scroll so much.

as i'm writing, i spend a lot of time moving scenes around and changing the order of information delivery, which i guess is called figuring out pacing and crafting the narrative arc. perhaps because i don't write chronologically, scenes feel very movable to me, and i think i see it visually in my head more like a film editor. i know it seems like A would have to follow B would have to follow C, and sometimes that's true, but often it's like: you can have A first OR you can have B first, but if A is first it's going to hit this way or vice versa, and either can work but you have to approach some details differently. i think a lot about how it maps out on the -- I'll use "intimacy" as the catch-all word, but it can be a lot of different things -- how it maps out on the intimacy graph, where two characters are getting close and then repelling apart before coming closer yet. should events happen when people are feeling good towards each other, or bad? so sometimes "writing" is just rearranging scene fragments.

I don't do it all the time, but for a decent number of scenes i'll write them out in my head first. and by that I don't mean imagine it, though i also do that: i'll actually "write" by thinking the literal words. and then i'll see where that gets to, and often it goes too far this way, so then i can rewind and branch it somewhere different instead. things happen different in words as opposed to imagination. in imagination you can gloss over the points of friction. in writing, a character can't ask for it, he has to say the literal words. writing it in my head makes it easier to then sit down and actually type it on the keyboard, and often i've been able to work through issues already.

by the last 10-15% of the story, all that should be left to write is the most unhinged porn scene, because i save the best of last, and probably the bulk of the final scenes. it's important to me to know the ending -- in broad strokes -- pretty much as soon as i start writing, but i save physically writing it until the end to make sure it'll feel tonally correct.

i consider everything i just described to be writing, but there are some parts of that which could be considered editing. i do some amount of word level/line edits in the wip doc, but more passes over in the gdoc annotated by the kind friend. sometimes it's quite torturous to read over your own writing and when i'm actively editing… oh girl she's a critical brain. she's mean. you don't want her sitting beside you on the bus. she's going to have you crying before you're even pulled off your street. but in the nice gdoc there are other people's words, literally, and it pulls me back into remembering it's possible to like the story. and ideally i do! and i have some moments or maybe there are even some scenes that consistently manage to make me feel good spending time in the story. because i'm writing what i want to read. like i always INTEND on having fun with it.

i edit for typos (i make a lot), grammar, clarity, repetition in any form - so using the same word, action, sentence structure (i love intentional repetition of parallel sentences but i do it too much in my early drafts and have to weed out the weaklings). redundancy or over explanation. too much itemized description of physical actions. ing verbs. useless words ("almost"). sentence and paragraph length. voice in dialogue, word choices, rhythm. continuity and correctness. sometimes i've missed bits between two scene fragments, which needs to be filled in. i'll delete whole sentences and maybe a paragraph, but not likely a larger chunk than that. i delete a lot, but usually end up with a net increase to the word count because i'm more likely to have gone too sparse. i add prose around dialogue, space between action, additional layers of description, sometimes physicality.

but then the final final edit is probably going to be deleting yet again, and, now, the story is done!

we did it, guys, we got all the way to the end (of this epic post and of the hypothetical story haha). ily and you're a hero if you're actually reading these words.

[seaside-lovers]

hi hi :3 curious now and I don't think I ever asked cuz hiatus, but... do you have any serious lore for your s/i and Shockwave? i'm DYING to know about it, if so. and do you ship with him in all continuities he's in or just one?

Thank you for asking, I appreciate it! I... apologize, this is VERY long, but I wanted to include some personal headcanons about Cybertronian reproduction since it ties into us having a daughter.

I did have a lore post on my old blog but I need to clean it up and post it here again, especially since I finally got an icon for my self insert. ^^

(Icon by @/tigercomplexes on Tumblr / Limgrave on FR ^^)

I selfship with his Prime and Animated versions - also working on how we meet in One and would like to write about how we meet in G1 at some point.

So in the Prime continuity, after I'm formed, I pick up biology as a study, since I'm very interested in all things having to do with living creatures and how they develop. After going through a study program, I end up as an intern under Shockwave. This is how we meet and eventually become friends as I rise to his level of expertise/knowledge and eventually become his lab partner.

While we work on different things, I assist in his experiments, making notes, while he helps me organize my field notes and photographs I take of the various wildlife I encounter while out exploring Cybertron and the surrounding galaxies.

While most of our time is spent together in silence, we do eventually start to talk about our shared interests in science and other topics, which leads to us becoming friendlier. We start going out together after our work to relax and catch up, which leads to Shockwave confessing that he has developed romantic feelings for me. Shortly after, I move into my own lab and begin courting him, and we become Conjunx soon after.

In the Animated universe, it's... much different. I don't have it fully fleshed out yet, but I'm an Autobot on Cybertron working under Longarm. I have had my doubts about being an Autobot, especially with their very strong "Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon attitude", which got me interested in how the Decepticons operated.

I become acquaintances with Longarm - close enough that he gets a feel for me and my doubts in the Autobots. When I accidentally walk in on him in his true form as Shockwave, his initial thought is "Kill her and make it look like an accident", but he decides to convince me to keep quiet instead. He's nearly twice my size so I shut up pretty quickly, wanting to save my own skin... idk exactly what happens after this but I do know that despite the tension between us since I'm aware of who he really is, he ends up convincing me to become a Decepticon. And we end up in a relationship, too :)

We also have a daughter - her name is Blastoff. ^^ Some stuff about her under the cut (put the cut bc I discuss Cybertronian reproduction headcanons - nothing explicit, but references to Cybertronians being able to produce offspring like humans)

So in the Prime universe, my personal headcanon is that new 'bots are usually cold constructed before the war. However, there were cases of the Allspark choosing a bonded pair to give a new Cybertronian to raise as their own and teach. After the Well is replenished, Shockwave and I are given a Cybertronian to take care of and raise - we name her Blastoff. She's already a full grown adult, but being a "newborn", she needs to be taught about the world.

In the Animated universe, inspired by how fluid the designs of the 'bots look compared to other continuities, new Cybertronians are generally cold constructed, but it is possible for two 'bots to biologically reproduce, with one being the sire and the other being the carrier. The Cybertronian born from this will be very small and like a human baby, but grows much more rapidly. They will also end up looking much more like their carrier and have a few features of their sire.

...which leads me into Blastoff being our biological kiddo, with Shockwave being the carrier and me being the sire. Longarm and I aren't in an obvious relationship, and to keep things hidden, I end up taking Blastoff to Earth secretly, intending to raise her there on my own and later join the other Decepticons (conveniently leaving out my relationship with Shockwave and just presenting myself as a traitor to the Autobot cause). Uhhhhh something happens, I end up with the Autobots... and they help me take care of her with me using the excuse that I was exploring and my partner was killed by a rogue Decepticon.

Blastoff ends up looking eerily a LOT like Shockwave, which Ratchet picks up on, and eventually leads to a confrontation when she's older, as Ratchet realizes that Shockwave is her carrier. And I... just leave. I was panicked, didn't want to get caught - so I take of and head back to Cybertron to lay low.

Blastoff stays with the Autobots, returning to Cybertron at the end of season 3, where she finally gets to meet Shockwave in an awkward meeting. Shockwave manages to get let out of prison on very strict terms due to good behavior and his usefulness as a scientist. Eventually I'm able to make my way back into society and reunite with Shockwave and Blastoff, forming a family unit.

Appearance wise... I can't draw or visualize very well, so I'm not 100% certain what Blastoff looks like exactly, but she's bulky like both of us and has yellow eyes. I'm thinking she's purplish-black as well. In the Animated universe, she also has antlers like Shockwave and is much brighter purple.

[ghostsandmirrors]

DO ME my url lol

Send me your URL and I'll tell you...

(under read more for length)

...My Opinion on; Character in general: I love Wanda, man. she got fucked up by the MCU writers and didn't deserve it at all but she's still like... one of the best and yours is one of my fave versions though I've only rped with like 3 Wandas but still. I usually put that in the next section but that bitch is already going to be too damn long.

How they play them: for people to fully understand the scope of how long we've been following each other in one form or another; I remade Bucky's solo blog in like what? 2018? and we were mutuals over there, then I made this blog in 2019 and we became mutuals again, and then you made your blog again and we became mutuals again. I would not have stayed mutuals with you across both my blogs and yours for this long if I didn't like your version of Wanda or how you write her.

I think you're one of the like three people since I started this blog whose threads I've read because I love your Wanda, man. I love her. she's hilarious in any thread (the little 'oh fuck' in the one with agentsterling tickled me) and she's so cute in every single thread we've had, and ofc it's because of how you write her. the word choices in her dialogue, the actions, even just the way your posts flow. it creates her in such a way that she feels so Wanda but also so your version of her, if that makes like any sense at all.

I wish I read more of your threads. but also I want to say that my favourite part I've read of anyones' threads is probably Wanda calling Ghostface 'Daddy' because that shit's hilarious. I read it at the time and then I went back to read more shit so I could ramble about how goddamn good your writing it and it's somehow funnier the second time round, I think because I forgot. I forgot she did that. it's so good.

we don't even thread that much, I just like watching her occasionally pop up on my dash and going 'hell yea'.

it's 5:32am at time of writing this bit here. Idk what the fuck you expected when you sent this.

The Mun: ok firstly, ilu but also for anyone else seeing this, I gotta tell them.

so, 'hoy lads, listen; this cursed motherfucker sent me some fuckin tiktok and I don't even remember what the fuck it was but it made me reconsider having a tumblr blog for a good minute or two.

but also I said 'goose mommy' and didn't get blocked so I love this mun. 10/10.

nevermind. I remember what it was. 0/10. I'm blocking you. /big jk I would never.

Do I: RP with them: I don't think so. unless you count the measuring as a thread which would be very funny. 'yeah we rp but our only thread rn is bucky measuring his dick and wanda trying to guess the length in inches.'

... we 100% have a thread rn and it's that one.

Want to RP with them: always. I don't have a single specific idea, I just want to write with you.

What is my; Overall Opinion: the mun is a babe and the muse is incredible and one time you helped with the Spanish on Duo's DBD verse so I'm forever in your debt. also you and Wanda gives me the vibes of like, 'canon couldn't give you what you deserve so I'm gonna do it' and as someone who did the same damn thing with Bucky, who watched l-ethiferous do the same with Danny, hell yeah. give her everything she deserves.

gonna go piss on the lawn outside the mouse's house, too. (for legal reasons, this is a joke; idk where the mouse lives.)

[thatruerealmwalker]

Crawls out of a hole in your wall

GET MAGICAL GIRL'ED MOTHER FUCKER!

"Despite it all, This Empty Shell still Remains." -Pre Acceptance Quote

"Within this Hollow Heart, Love Still Remains!" -Post Acceptance Quote

This is Claire Taker, a new OC I've made! And let me tell you- the origins of the OC is fucking weird.

This tainwreck of a Lady came about because I was reading @zoeywinterrose's smiling critter fanfic on A03 (which you can check out HERE), started letting THE VOICES speak through me, eventually pulled out the original story I have and made the Caretaker seen there into a fully realized character in my story (get it? Claire Taker?), told them so, found each other on tumblr, because friends(?), and they maybe sort of said yes when I said I was gonna draw the character and make and AU of their AU (in some order there, the progression of events may be off a bit)... I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TO THIS POINT.

So yeah, I'm gonna be both explaining this character, my own story, and having all that be loosely connected to Poppy Playtime (Again how did I get here?) So the tags are gonna be silly because of that.

Claire Taker is, as said before, a Magical Girl by the name of Heart Hollow (well Technically Magical Woman, she is pretty old but I prefer saying magical girl)... well the term for in my Canon is a "Blessed" or "Actor"... but those are the official terms, she and the others still use Magical Girl and Magical Boy (because that IS what they are)

And yes! There are both Magical Boys and Girls in this World!

Claire Fights with her Fists and Legs, being a close range brawler, as well as fights with her threads. She uses them in a variety of ways, from creating points to jump, pulling things to her or pulling herself to them, wrapping up targets, or even sometimes using them a whips.

Her Threads are also capable of Stitching people back together and healing them! Apparently the world thinks this means she should be one of the few to get constantly injured, needing to reattach her limbs in the middle of fights sometimes! (or it could be seen as caused by her low self worth as well). I mean look at all of those scars! And those are just the ones she couldn't fully heal for different reasons, she gets hurt alot! ("Better then letting one the kids take the hit" she would say)

Her mental health isn't the best, but it gets really bad when she is alone- Luckily, she's gained the trust of the Parents of the three kid members of Her group to look after them while their at work- as well as fostering the teens when they need somewhere private to hand out. (Her home is like one of 2 unofficial team bases)

At this point, almost everyone who isn't an adult (and two who are like 18-19) calls her Auntie- which she is still getting used too.

After finally getting into a far more okay mindset, she takes to jogging and exercise in her free time. She even helps the younger of the team practice fighting forms and working out when they train at all.

She actually owns a good few properties thanks to her parents- and after her depression weakened she put them up for rent. After a while (and learning how to duplicate cash with Starlight from the group's resident self appointed "Chaotic Gremlin") she was able to start getting a good amount of cash saved up for when the group needs a break or wants to go somewhere fun- (The cost is usually split between her and the other full Adult in the group most of the time).

She still has episodes where her is very not okay (like panic attacks or just bad thoughts)- but it never gets to the point where she feels like hurting herself at all anymore. It helps that one of the kids, the team's unofficial mascot, lets himself be her comfort animal when she has these episodes (and while he hates to admit it, he does enjoy her hugs)

That's all for now! If your interest in more of this original story, let me know!.. Though it probably won't be tagged under Smiling critters next... unless I make William apart of this then it will!

A full view of her plot is down below if your interested in that as well- Anyways thanks for reading this and maybe what lies below, and I hoped this sparked your interest/was a fun read all the same! I think I got an AU to write now!

Claire Taker's Story:

(Content Warning! This gets a bit dark!)

Claire Taker used to be a Person of Joy, living life as Happy as any other- even had Children she cherished most dearly... however one day- in a series of events, Claire loses her kids, be it an Accident or something far worse. Believing herself to be solely at fault, she shut down, remaining within her home and rarely leaving. At first those closest to them attempt to help, as it does, even if She rarely talked or interacted. Just being with others helped to keep her afloat...

But she was abandoned- left alone... and that is what sealed her fate. For a long time- years, close to Ten even, she drowned. She lost her smile, her kindness, her emotions, her Love. She tried, and try she did to get better... but she still drowned all the same.

She made many half attempts on her life- and the one time she fully went through with it- she only lived because she forgot to turn off the Safety on the Gun. This attempt was on the day, when she was so close to pulling herself back together that she was reminded of her kids- undoing all the work she did to get better at a single moment (one the prolonged her deep depression for a few more years-)

Eventually, upon one better day Claire spent shopping with a local mall for much needed supplies for her bare home, a Star fell from the Sky and landed nearby. From it formed a Matrix, and Starlight Leaked into the world. The pure, unfiltered and uncontrolled Starlight, the Blood of Creation, tainted the area in its presence, and Claire. The Building Creaked and Groaned as Starlight lashed into the populace surrounding. Many ran as the structure began to collapse around them...

And Yet Claire stepped forward, Drawn in by the Star.

Even while her body warped, as fur sprouted from her skin and monstrous claws ripped out from between her fingers. As her bones cracked and shattered before being reformed. As the demented whispers that long accompanied her gained form, breaking out from Claire's back and ripping into her flesh-

She reached the center, Where the Fallen Star has landed and with her last bit of strength before she became tainted under Starlight, reached out and touched the Glowing Star within the Epicenter-

And Starlight gathered and condensed, leaving her body, the surrounding air, and returning herself from the Monstrous form it was trying to become- And within her hands laid her Matrix, a Softly glowing heart floating between her palms.

A Stranger came to her one day, and promised her he would grant her most wanted wish "To return your children to you" in exchange for gathering as much Starlight she could.

She, like many other Actors, believed his word, and walked forward with a long lost flame in her eyes, ready to do Anything to get her children back.

Even after learning there was others like her (most of them teenagers or young adults), even after learning that many of the monsters she is fighting against and killed to gather Starlight (the Tainted or Cursed) were once people, even after she learned that should she actually get her wish- she would have to kill the other Blessed and steal their Starlight- She continued on.

It was only when the Three Children amongst the Blessed stood against her to protect their older peers then she questioned if what she was doing was worth it- if ignoring the signs that something was wrong was worth it- if her once beloved children would accept being brought back through the blood of others- if she could really kill these three if it was required of her.

It was from there, after giving up and fleeing that she changed from an antagonist to a protector akin to Tuxedo Mask for the Blessed- more so the Three kids that fought in this battle than the other Blessed.

It was here that Claire was taught how to tell if a Cursed was made from a person, animal, or object/fully made from Starlight as well as how to defeat the Tainted without killing the Person or Creature within. She learned that gathering Starlight is unneeded, and should she continue to gather Starlight like she has- she would only overwhelm her Matrix and become a Cursed herself. She learned how to truly use Starlight, how to prevent herself from Tainting someone on accident, and how to dispose of unneeded Starlight safely.

She was slowly pulled into the Group, being one of the Few Actors to listen and stop the senseless fighting between them. Even when she fell and broke, these Bright Souls dragged Claire along, taking her on their group adventures away from the Magic within their lives. Exploring the town, eating at an Café, enjoying the park. Slowly but surely, she became apart of this group, of the team who fought against the darkness that surrounded them.

The rest of the Blessed, especially the younger of them, started to call Claire 'Auntie'.

However, there was one final truth all of them avoided telling Claire, the final Lie told to Claire about the situation, even if in the depths of her heart she knew the answer herself yet feared to speak it aloud in vain hope for it not to be true.

That there was no Wish- That it was the ploy of The Man who Thought Himself God to either gather followers and resources or spark war between those who could threaten his goals and attempt to turn them into monsters- a Truth that they all knew could break Claire, steal her reason for continuing to live, to stand up tall.

They were going to, right after they handled this newest Tainted... but The Man who Thought Himself God appeared near the battles end... and with a smile, knowing Claire's history of mental health, and the reasons for it, held her by the throat while floating in the air, while Claire thrashed and fought with all of her might, while her allies called out in fear and rushed to save her, whispered in her Ear- "I lied~ There is no Wish, no reversing your most heinous Sin. Your children will never come back- for you killed them. They are gone and you killed them."

Claire SHATTERED then and there. Once again all of the work she put into getting better, doing better shattered- and as The Man who Thought Himself God threw her from high above towards the ground- Starlight, once Shining, became fully black- And the Blessed became Cursed under the weight of Despair-

Mother Gospel: The Harbinger of Mourning was born- as so her fellow Blessed fought, and after a long an almost lethal fight, where the extent of Claire's grief and broken heart was bared to the world, the ones who claimed her as their own, with all they had, ripped Claire out of her Depression made Manifest, and saved her from her fate.

Amongst the broken building, Claire laid as her Heart, once healing, was now torn apart once more as she cried tears of sorrow... and then she was hugged by the most youngest of them... then the other children joined in, all crying and making sure their Auntie was okay. The older kids of the Group joined in as well, despite two having to be dragged within. And even the young adults sat nearby and showed their love for Claire-

And that was what it was- Claire was LOVED, and she could Love in return. She was not Alone anymore, and so the dam burst within her and she cried and screamed and hugged back as sadness and joy danced within her. Her Hollow Heart had become not so Hollow anymore.

It took time, but somewhat soon Claire stood, still in mourning of her lost children, still not fully okay, but she could finally move on, she could finally live with those who saved her from that Sea that engulfed her and gave her warmth and belonging.

And so she fought, and even now fights, against those that would bring about the horrors she went through upon to others with the family formed under the Light of the Stars.

[naturagardens]

hi, my name is anne aka hinawa !! i'm nineteen years old and currently looking for roleplay partners. nobody under the age of eighteen, though! this is just a simple little post i'm putting out to - hopefully - find more rp partners, and friends! so it won't be aesthetic by any means, but it should cover most bases.

i live in florida, usa, so i'm on the est timezone. i've been roleplaying for around eight to nine years, and in various different forms. my preferred style is descriptive, as i enjoy writing a lot about whatever character i'm portraying at the moment.

i typically do fandom and fandomless, though lately i've been doing the latter a lot more. i just love making ocs! i typically roleplay fem characters, as it is preferred, but i am flexible !! i do have an endless amount of plot ideas, however any ideas of yours are also welcome. i love plot heavy roleplays, as it does give me more to write about, but also because it gives me a chance to fully get into the character that i'm roleplaying. i consider myself pretty flexible when it comes to plotting and figuring out specific details for the roleplay, as i always enjoy hearing other peoples ideas and seeing how we can combine them.

i do require that your responses at least match my length of responses! my minimum is typically three to four paragraphs. i will either ask you to write more, or not respond, as i can't work off of little to no information.

communication is one thing that i stress. whether it be that one of us can't respond right away, or we have something to talk about in regards to the rp. either way, it's communication is always appreciated. i do work full time, so my replies usually come in before work and after work, though sometimes i can get one out during my lunch break! if i can't get a reply out, i typically try to let you know.

i will only block without warning if i believe that you are being pushy, making me uncomfortable, or trying to disrespect my boundaries. i do typically try to discuss these with whoever i am plotting with.

i don't get on tumblr too much, so i typically prefer doing my roleplays on discord. if any of this interests you, please send me a friend req. or a message! my disc is naturagardens. xoxo 💕

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm on your Tumblr because we used to be mutuals, but I'm more of a lurker these days and I've remade several times under different handles and understand exasperation/hesitation at refollowing. I'm sincerely not trying to bait anything here, it's just that I've been depressed for the majority of 2024, and I think a really bad habit I've fallen into is not expressing gratitude to those who have a genuine impact on me. I'm sorry if this is uncanny and too parasocial. I have always admired how incredibly self-possessed and well-spoken/read/watched/cultured you are. I get an older sibling vibe from you that I never had growing up. You are one of the smarter people in the room for me. Sorry I'm sending this on anon, you don't have to publish it, in fact I hope you don't! I think you're one of the best blogs on this site and many things you have posted/blogged about have caused me to dig deeper within myself. In recent times, I appreciate that you force a situationally depressed individual (me) to challenge themselves for the better, if that makes sense. I'm sorry if this is disturbing!

[posted with permission] Man I have not been able to wake up all day for some reason and I owe some writing tomorrow, so this is actually a really helpful warmup exercise to try to get myself moving/thinking. I really appreciate this. I think your idea about expressing gratitude is really important and it's something I've been trying to do also, though maybe in a broader sense, like if I see a really inspiring movie (or whatever) I try to follow the impulse to write to the filmmaker and tell them. In my mind there's this invisible wall between creators and "fans" and that's usually fake; it's very likely that the people who made some of your favorite media are not rich, their futures are not secure, and they don't even necessarily know how their work has affected people. Worst case scenario they don't write you back, but only a snob would be actually bothered, and sometimes you even make a friend. I think the same principle can be applied to, you know, bloggers or whoever. Certainly I run this blog for myself first and foremost and I don't think I would or could stop even if absolutely no one was paying attention--it's a real compulsion and I think it's reasonably healthy to find ways to be in conversation with yourself--but it's valuable to know when you've been understood by anyone at all.

Not to make it weird but in Hebrews I think there's that verse, "If today you hear the voice of God, harden not your heart." That's really powerful outside the bounds of religion. To me it means, when you get that shred of energy or inspiration that says "I could do the dishes right now," do them immediately before you can talk yourself out of it! When you get that little spark that is so easily snuffed out by overthinking and taking that dangerous minute to round up excuses, that spark that you might be able to do the laundry, send the letter, watch the tough movie you're "never in the mood" for, pick up the book instead of watching TV, take a fucking walk, whatever it is: if you practice surrendering to these impulses immediately, almost without deciding, your life can really start to expand. Actually I believe it literally keeps your brain alive, to keep making it process new information, even if it seems trivial or you don't fully feel like it. But anyway a lot of us don't follow the impulse to say to someone "Hey, I think you're doing a good job" because it's so easy to imagine lots of different reasons they won't like it. But honestly that's unlikely (as long as you're not demanding something in return), and if someone responds poorly to that then chances are they're kind of an asshole.

(I mean sometimes I fail to respond to a message or an obvious social cue but it's usually because I just get overwhelmed by other parts of life and/or I'm not extremely skilled in forming and maintaining connections in any normal way. But it's rare that somebody has tried to reach out to me and I was like secretly hating them for it.)

Depression is really hard to talk about--I mean it's easy to VENT about, but it can be hard to converse about. There's that (American?) thing where you feel like no one should say anything that isn't *CEO voice* solution-oriented, and that's when people either avoid the topic entirely or react with all kinds of unwelcome and/or irrational advice. I have the illusion of being all full of wisdom on this because I've been severely depressed since I was really little and obviously there's something wrong with my whole operating system, but one of my best friends--who is not naturally depressive--is in such a bad way and it's not her fault and possibly there is no way out for real, and of course I have the urge to pump her up and keep her afloat, but if I'm too positive it will be totally dishonest. I have to split the difference between cheering her up and like, not lying to her. I'd be a total hypocrite if I denied her the understanding and acknowledgement of darkness that I myself always want and rarely get. It's hard, but on the individual basis it's useful to try to map the nature of your own depression and notice how it operates; just observe and take notes even if you can't see a way to control it right now. It sounds like you're doing some of that, there is a lot of dignity in that activity.

These are my thoughts off the cuff, with any luck they provoke something useful. Now I feel like I'm finally ready to shower and have ill-advised beverages and do my stupid homework assignment. Thank you for your thoughts, and the helpful prompt, and I hope you have a good day and/or night, for real.

[kxllerblond]

Hey besties, as you have likely noticed-—I haven't really been active. Truth be told, I had a pretty bad depressive low followed by some really bad burn out that left me unable to do anything more than a few scattered short things here and there and even those took a lot of like energy to push myself to do. I've been in a very frustrated and restless place with my blog in the aftermath of this.

My drafts are stressing me out. Knowing that I owe shit and can't remember with who or where we were in the thread is stressing me out and kind of hindering any attempts at coming back and trying to be active again. Coupled with the typical Tumblr RPC thing of more or less having to rebuild your blog engagement from the ground up again after taking more than a few days off is very energy-consuming.

With that being said, I want to come back and be active and consistent again. I refuse to give up on this hobby and I love my little bastard man still. However, I think I'm going to have to make some significant changes going forward to make that happen.

DRAFTS.

Unless we have a multi-note and plotted thread going, assume they have been dropped. It's just too much to try and track everything down and remember where I was going with a lighter thread months ago or whatever when I was replying to it initially. It's making me freeze up and so nothing is getting done. Following this post, I'm going to be working on fully culling my drafts and likes of any threads I owe.

ASK MEMES.

I am going to be leaning on these heavily. Not much is changing here as this is my usual. I just will likely not be posting any more starter calls or attempting plotting calls or liking them. I'm going to be 99.9% ask meme interaction orientated. Any plotted or long form shit is going to be naturally pursued when I'm interested or have ideas instead of trying to force myself for the sake of it or because I feel expected to as I have in the past.

NEW THREADS.

Here is where I'm going to lose some of you. I'm going to be a burst RPer more than I have been in the past. That means I am going to be relying on shorter note interactions that may get dropped pretty quickly. I'm going to rely on no pressure threads that we can just mention and build off of in new interactions. A quick but gradual development through shorter lifespan threads, if you will. Sort of like climbing a lot of stairs to a certain point of development instead of trying to climb one giant mountain of a single heavy plotted thread at a time.

Does this mean I'm not going to do ANY plotted point A to point B threads? Nah. I'm just going to be very, very selective with them and I'm going to need both of us to be at the same level of passion, ig. Plotted shit and long term shit takes A LOT for me to keep going and so I need both of us to be 100% interested in the story and each other's characters, etc. I think, at this time, I only have 2-3 of those threads/storylines active.

NEW FOLLOWERS, NEW INTERACTIONS.

I'm not going to close myself off completely to following new people or taking on new followers...but I am done more or less screaming at walls or low key begging people to stop being anxious or intimidated and interact with me. I'm mega anxious myself but I do the bare minimum of being the first to send a meme, to like interaction calls, etc. If I am doing this and being the one to make the first step and I still don't receive any sort of energy returned...I'm dipping. I don't have the time or patience anymore to play chicken with people or to coax them into threading with me and I've caused myself plenty of issues in the past by trying to stick it out in the hopes things change.

IN SUMMARY

I know this portrays me as that dreaded flake RPer who starts shit and never finishes anything. I am hoping dearly that building off these unfinished threads will compensate for that lack of long form threading. I am aware this is going to not track with some of you as it's not an RPing format that is compatible with everyone and I accept that and I totally get it if some of you stop reaching out or unfollow or whatever. However, I'm going to be doing what I need to do in order to actually BE here. I'd rather be a tad bit of a flake but still get something done and enjoy this hobby somewhat instead of just sitting here frozen and getting nothing done because I don't want to be seen as a flake or dissuade people from interacting with me further.

Thank.

[pynkhues]

Hi Sophie, so sorry if this is a double ask but I can’t tell if tumblr ate my first one…I was wondering if you would be comfortable sharing anything about your writing process (for both original projects and fics). Do you outline? Or is it more freeform with a general idea of where you’re going?

Hi! I'm so glad that you re-sent it, because it's not a double in my inbox. I'm more than happy to share about my writing process! I've been writing for a long time, and I think I might like talking about actually writing things more than I like actually talking about the finished story, haha.

My process is pretty much the same for both fic and for original works, and in that, I do a lot of wriitng in my head before I start actually even 'officially' writing it. To the point where I'll usually have a pretty strong sense of what the underlying idea of the story is, where I want the emotional anchor of the story to be, and often have roughly choreographed a few climactic sequences in my head in a way that gives it not necessarily structure or an outline, but a general shape.

So in writing Ungodly Hour for instance, I knew that I was interested in this sense of perception as the underlying idea of the story - Lestat's perception of himself and what happened to him, Louis' perception of what happened to Lestat, Daniel's potential perception of Lestat through the interview.

Then I knew I wanted the emotional anchor to be in Lestat telling Louis what happened with Magnus, and this collision of those perceptions, because I just found that like - - exciting creatively, and I had these scenes in my head - weirdly, the gallery one was quite formded for me, then the dressing room blowjob, then the fight (although I re-wrote the fight quite a few times).

So I had all that in my head when I actually started to write it, and at that point, my process really becomes a matter of asking 'Why?' I ask that constantly when I'm writing, because at the end of the day, writing is just cause and effect. One of the best bits of writing advice I ever got was that your story is always 'And so this happens' or 'But this happens', never, ever 'And then this happens'. Good scenes are built on the backs of the ones that came before them, so they need to have purpose for there to be any payoff.

As a result, anything that feels either instinctual or appealing to me, I end up asking it well, why, or how, or what needs to happen to make this feel right? I find that usually steers me in the best direction, and it helps me to especially get into a character's head, or even sometimes the context of the story overall.

In terms of the actual writing though, - this sounds so wanky, haha - but I generally say I'm a bit of a painter when it comes to writing. I like to lay a base coat and then build from there. I'll usually start with scenes that are fairly skeletal with what's effectively placeholder dialogue that evokes the vibe of the final dialogue that I'd like, just so I know what emotional beats I'm wanting (and these can and do change), and so that I have a full story on the page, and then I go back over and over again and build it up and up and up.

I'm kind of at that base coat skeleton stage with the reunion fic now, so to give you a sense (and please don't judge, like I said, this is basically a skeleton of a scene with some placeholder dialogue!) it'll usually look a bit like this:

So yeah, it'll start pretty thin, but it'll be what I know I want it to be, and sometimes I'll keep parts of it, but usually it's entirely re-written by the time I post or it gets published.

Things often fall into place late too. As I've gotten more experienced as a writer, I think I'm better at trusting my instincts? Like in Ungodly Hour, the gallery scene was the first thing I wrote in full, and I think I even posted here that I almost cut it several times. It was so fully formed for me, and I knew on a gut level that it belonged in the story, and more than that, needed to be the opening scene, but I didn't really get how it folded in until later in the writing process when it just clicked that it not just established the themes of the story, but placed Louis in a rawer emotional state to be entering this particular night with Lestat.

So yeah, I build up ideas basically, haha.

[izzydizzy13]

ok real talk for a second

how are we avoiding AI gang?

Like, I see a lot of people quitting Instagram bc of their policy to feed art to the Meta AI, and I agree that it is not Cash Money of them to do that... but I am also not entirely sure how it changes anything, because doesn't literally *every* website populate Google? If so, doesn't Google's AI take that anyway, as well as any image AI that uses Google as a database? so most of them, from what I can tell...

Am I fundamentally misunderstanding how this works? I ask because most of the art I have seen here recently hasn't been glazed as far as I can tell visually, and while Tumblr isn't feeding images straight to AI the same way Instagram is, I am still worried for y'all. I kind of hope I AM just confused, because it would be fantastic to have places where I could upload unglazed works in their pure, unswirly form. I just thought I could Glaze my future works and upload them wherever I would usually upload, including Instagram because, well, their AI isn't any better at reading it than Dal-E as far as I'm aware. It is gonna be quite annoying though, because it takes upwards of an hour to glaze something to the Default strength, and I like uploading silly little doodles that only took like 5 minutes in and of themselves lol, so I'll have to be more picky about what I post...

Anyways, I am gonna start using Glaze on my art at the minimum, I tested it with an older work and it's not very noticeable. I'll drop the glazed piece here for anyone who has been curious about how it would affect their art visually and been too scared to try using it

the grass looks bad because of me, that's my fault for not knowing how to draw grass. The Glaze is that swirly triangular pattern that is most noticeable in the exact middle of the image, on the shorts and leg. It is virtually invisible on the face, which is the part I care most about anyway. So, while yes it would be an annoying affect if it were something really aggressively well-rendered, I've got very few issues with it for my more cartoony art style. It's the default amount of glaze, so not the highest tier of protection possible but enough.

I didn't really care about AI theft when it was still in its infancy, I still don't think it's the end of the world or anything like that, people enjoy art for the personal connection it has with its artist, and I like to think AI will never fully replicate that... not to mention that all of these AIs are in for a legal nightmare once someone sues for copyright infringement ... but, with how high quality the images are becoming and how thoroughly integrated it is into many of our browsers and websites, I still don't wish to help it any further if at all possible.

For anyone who wants to utilize this anti-AI Glaze, here's the link to downloads for Glaze

There is a browser version as well, though it requires an invite (automatically granted to anyone who doesn't use AI via email) I haven't tried that one yet, my computer is thankfully able to run the desktop version so I've had no need to get an invite.

If this is the first you're hearing about Glaze, I should also mention that there is a thing called Nightshade on this very same website. It does a very similar thing to Glaze, except for that it also gives AI models incorrect information when fed to it that, through a bunch of technical stuff that I don't understand, actually makes the AI worse than it was before. I've decided to just use the regular Glaze since, personally, my goal isn't to screw over the devs who made the AI, even if it's something I disagree with. I just don't want my work utilized, so I will Glaze it and move on. I can't really blame anyone who uses Nightshade though, just explaining why I don't.

I was also wondering if any of y'all have a contingency plan in the case of AI developing to the point where Glaze doesn't work anymore... like are we just gonna have to delete everything from the last however long we've been glazing or what? yike

[funwalker]

[This originally posted on my blog 12/12/2024. Check there for more of my musings about video games and mostly just video games right now but maybe one day art??? Maybe....]

Games I Played in 2024 (part 1)

I started typing up a post of every game I've played this year and then decided it was probably too long, so I'm diving it into two parts. Next part coming, uh... probably before the end of the year. I'm trying to give myself a little more time to finish/start certain games (and also to remember what other things I've played this year), so we'll see how that goes.

In the mean time...

Short or Incomplete Experiences

(in no particular order)

Despite not usually being full games, game jam games still have quite a bit of work put into them. A lot of them have some spark of imagination, an interesting concept, or just a unique feeling that I think makes them worthwhile to experience. Like reading a short story, maybe the idea hasn't been fully explored, but you can often get something valuable out of the experience anyways.

I thought I'd talk a little bit about some experiences that might go overlooked. This is just a short list of free, incomplete or short games and toys (about an hour or less in length) that I've played this year. Many of them may seem rough or unpolished, but I thought they were worth fiddling around with for various reasons.

Monster of the Weekend A little monster raising game jam game. Pretty neat! At first it seemed like I might be missing something, but as you play and try different combinations of food to feed your monster, it opens up the world in different ways. Pretty cool.

The Riddle of the Temple A sort of test made in Decker. Will probably take less than 10 minutes to get through it all, but very enjoyable.

Silver Thread: Deux I thought Silver Thread was pretty good for being the dev's first game. It reminded me a lot of little games I'd download off of tumblr back in the day, where it's maybe not super polished or well designed, but you can tell the dev cared and has some interesting ideas that could be iterated on in future projects. Deux, like the first one, is not very long. I don't think the mystery is really that deep or interesting, but it's still decently fun to play though. I like the character interactions, and the art is quite nice.

Post Memory Made for a visual novel jam. Also by the Silver Thread dev. It's about moving to a strange little town and delivering mail. It's also a little rough around the edges, like their other games, but I think this one is my favorite so far. There are certain little "glitches" that I'm fairly certain are there on purpose that unfortunately don't really add much to the experience in its current form, but I think it's neat to find them regardless.

Carpet Gallery A "toy" made for Toy Jam. Not really a "game" but more of an interactive experience. You just wander through uh... hundreds? of rooms filled with "carpets". Kind of an interesting labyrinth to explore. I feel like it would be neat to come back some months later and chart a different path through there.

Company Another Toy Jam toy. Plant flowers. Attract little guys. That's it.

Tender Another game jam game (I play a lot of those evidently). Raising strange and alien plants while following the diary of your botanist parents who have disappeared on this foreign planet... A cute a sweet little story. Neat concept. Maybe about an hour long.

FISH FEAR ME (demo) Despite being on the short/incomplete list, I think I spent about 10 hours playing FISH FEAR ME already. lol It's technically still just a demo but I would dare to say there is quite a lot to be done. FISH FEAR ME is... it's like... if SNAKE FARM (the developer's previous game) had tank controls--which is to say... chaotic. Haha. (Okay but hear me out though...) Like SNAKE FARM, it's a top down roguelike hoard shooter/bullet hell where you can basically control the difficulty of the game by summoning as many or as few enemies as you'd like. The player is encouraged to summon specific fish (increasing in difficulty as the game progresses and you get stronger weapons) to get currency to unlock better skills and equipment. I thought maybe I wouldn't like FISH FEAR ME from the outset because... tank controls... but it turns out the first boat you get is just crap and you quickly unlock more interesting and specialized modes of movement. I was hooked... Get it? It's a fishing pun...

Anyways, those are my recs to keep you busy while you wait for any games you may be receiving or buying for yourself this holiday period. All of them are free, so you have no excuse to skip out on them!

[mysticsparklewings]

Mystic's Museletter - Long Time, No Type!

This blog entry was originally posted to Ko-fi and DeviantArt and may also be read in full in either of those places.

Hey there Sparklers; It's been a while, hasn't it? 😅

So I suppose I should start with an apology, because I am sincerely sorry that it's been almost a year now since I was doing my regular "Monthly Museletter/Round-Up" Posts [on dA & Ko-fi, doing them here on Tumblr is entirely new], and it's also been a few months now since I was posting art...really at all, let alone regularly.

And because of that, if it wasn't already obvious, this isn't even going to be quite like my former "regular" long-form posts. It's going to be long, which itself isn't unusual, but because of how much there is to cover, I'm going to try and divide this all up into mostly self-contained sections, and have a list of those sections (marked by headers of the same title) beneath this paragraph so you can jump/scroll around and read "the interesting bits" at your leisure:

Overview of Where I've Been

DeviantArt's Changes

Other Things I've Been Doing - Part 1: Ohuhu Again! - Part 2: Social Sites & Dolls - Part 3: Everything Else

Peeks At Actual Art Things I've Done

Wrap Up

Overview of Where I've Been

So what happened? Well, the Monthly blog posts were just a victim of my executive dysfunction—I got in my head about how long they usually take to put together and when I'd miss one or put it off too long, naturally that would mean the next one would take even longer to catch up and it just spiraled downward from there.

Clearly, if I want to continue with those going forward, I need to make some changes to how they work so I can actually do them. At the moment though I don't have any concrete plans, but I have some general ideas that relate more to the next section.

Okay, but what about Artwork? I was on a pretty good roll there, especially with Winx Art, and then...Crickets.

This one I can't even fully explain myself. At first, I know I was largely bogged down by the fact that I just kept missing self-imposed deadlines to have certain pieces finished by, and my motivation to post art was majorly crippled by some Changes DeviantArt Made, but I feel like those two reasons alone don't cover everything.

My personal life has also been a bit of a roller coaster these past few months, but that is somewhat "normal" for me, so I don't feel right blaming it on that, either.

My best guess is those things combined with my usual Post-Inktober Funk™ and made a kind of "Seasonal Burnout," sort of like Seasonal Depression (as is fairly common for a lot of people to experience around the holidays and winter months). I've had plenty of creative ideas and was even able to do some other creative things I'll touch on more in a bit, but the motivation to actually draw was just...not there.

The other reason I chalk this up as "Seasonal" is because as the weather has finally, slowly started to warm up, I have noticed some internal changes with myself...Nothing major has happened yet, but I feel more squarely pointed back in a "Drawing Direction," if that makes any sense.

I think the last piece of the puzzle to get me at least sort of back on track is related to those Changes I mentioned DeviantArt made. So let's talk a bit about that...

DeviantArt's Changes

Towards the end of October—Naturally, my busiest month!—All of a sudden, I could no longer edit Deviation descriptions directly in Sta.sh, which I'm sure some of you Sparklers are familiar with.

This matters because I found writing & editing descriptions in Sta.sh much more convenient than typing them directly on the Submission Page. Mostly for formatting reasons, but also as a hangover from many years ago when I lost a a few descriptions that were written only on the Submission Page, which didn't (doesn't?) auto-save consistently like Sta.sh did.

So. That wasn't good, but I figured out that I could still edit existing Text documents that I had in Sta.sh, so I took to writing the descriptions in an old one of those and would copy & paste it into the final Art description later. But eventually, that method stopped working too. (I think around mid-November, but I'm not 100% sure.)

As of right now, you cannot edit any text of any kind in Sta.sh anymore. You either handle it directly (on the Submission Page for Artwork, or using dA's on-site text editor for written work), or you don't bother.

Now, I'll wholeheartedly agree that on paper this doesn't sound like a big deal. And it really probably shouldn't be. But nevertheless, to cut an overly long explanation short: It is/was for me. It felt like one of the last few threads tying me here, to DeviantArt, snapped.

Again, to cut an overly long explanation short, emotionally, that really hurt. I have more or less been mourning the loss of the DeviantArt I first joined back in 2011 as a result. 😞

And to cut one more explanation short: I've been thinking for a while now that it might be in my best interest to start up a more proper dedicated blog for my long art descriptions, and this blow to the way I write said descriptions on dA really solidifies that. I still have to figure out exactly where said blog will be—possibly here on Tumblr* which is why I'm posting this here now—but I have pretty much made up my mind that it does need to exist, one way or another.

(*I'd stick it over on Ko-fi, but as it currently stands Ko-fi doesn't have great organization or archive functions for older blog posts; If it's not recent it's difficult to find, and that just won't work with the blog-ish flow I know I'd need, among other small issues with Ko-fi's formatting.)

With all that said...I don't really want to say there's still a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for dA because that doesn't really feel accurate, but that's the closest expression I have.

Very recently, DeviantArt announced a new overhaul coming to the Submission Page, and while I have extremely mixed feelings about it (because I strongly suspect this is exactly why Sta.sh has been crippled)...I don't hate it. There are things I like about it, I'm mainly just bitter and fearful about Sta.sh's future.

But I also haven't fully put this "Studio" thing to the test yet—That requires actually submitting art. So, perhaps there is yet more hope than I think...

Other Things I've Been Doing

To that end, you're probably wondering about those "other creative things" I've been able to do I mentioned earlier, and also if there is any "proper" artwork to show for these past couple of months.

I'll go ahead and spoil that yes, even though there isn't much of it, I do have some "proper" artwork things I can show you, but I think (as this section title implies) it'll be better to address those other creative things I've been doing first.

Part 1: Ohuhu Again!

Probably the most interesting to you Sparklers will be the revelation that I'm in very early stages of working on a kind of "Buying Guide" for the Ohuhu Honolulu Markers.

I'm sure some of you Sparklers are familiar with my Ohuhu Chart and the unofficial "ongoing saga" of keeping that thing up-to-date. Some newer Sparkles may also have originally heard of the chart and/or me from the Ohuhu SubReddit, because I've spent quite a bit of time over there helping people figure out the best way to get all 363 of the Honolulu colors...since unfortunately, Ohuhu has made that process kind of confusing. 😅

Very similar to my chart sorting out confusion over how many colors there are in the first place, I want to make some kind of fixed resource I can point people to that would hopefully help clear up a lot of that said confusion.

I don't want to get to specific on the details of the "final" guide at this point since it is so early; Rather I want to just tell you Sparklers the actual work I've been doing to make it happen, and that all boils down primarily to three things:

Collecting and Organizing some text-based information (mostly in the form of Spreadsheets), and I was already doing a fair bit of this before I decided to even attempt making a Buying Guide

Fixing up my marker storage. I keep my Honolulus in their original bags for space-related reasons, but I've been meaning to make dividers for the bags to make everything more stable, and Spare-Cartoonist6276's Honeycomb method was the final push to do that I needed to actually do it. The only real downside has been that it just takes a while to construct each honeycomb section (and I'm not even bothering with the pretty color-matching cardstock). Fortunately, at time of writing I only have 2 sections left to go out of the original 11!

Swatching & Attempting to sort every color in a "Proper" Color Order. This is also something I've been meaning to try anyway and how useful it would be became pretty undeniable as I started thinking about how this Buying Guide is going to work. I'm in Stage 1 for this process—As I finish a honeycomb section, I swatch the markers in that section, so when the honeycombs are done, the swatches for colors I actually own will also be done. This is also different from my usual swatching because I made very basic little cards with holes punched in them so hopefully comparing colors and physically arranging them is as easy as possible. This swatching has been a long time coming though and is also taking a little bit longer because...I don't actually own every Honolulu color! I'm missing about 35, all of which belong to the "Pesky 43" that only come in certain sets. And with other expenses and trying to save up for a new website (yep, that Ko‑fi Goal is still active, folks!), I just haven't been able to justify dropping $130+ on yet more markers to fix that problem.

However, after some poking around and discussion in the wider Ohuhu Community, a Reddit User by the name of JayZedHorse very kindly reached out and offered to send me physical swatches of the missing colors! They are en route to me as I type!

There are still many small ways in which this isn't a completely perfect solution, but it is still a very solid step in the right direction and I am eagerly counting down the days until I have those swatches in hand!

So at the moment I have the small goal of being finished with the Honeycombs and my own swatches before the swatches JayZed sent me arrive; That way I should be able to jump pretty straight into the comparisons and start on color arrangement. But, fortunately, even if I can't be finished with the honeycombs by then, it won't be the end of the world. Both things will get done either way, it'll just take a little longer.

But that is about all I have to say about this Buying Guide that I think you Sparklers would be interested in, for now, so on to the next subject...

Part 2: Social Sites & Dolls

I'll start by saying there are two Social Media sites I've been semi-active on and so people that either follow me in those places or frequent the same communities I do will probably already have a few ideas of the other ways I've been flexing my creative muscles lately. [...And Members of the Sparklers' Club Discord Server will also have seen a fair bit of the same posted directly in there!]

As I sort of mentioned with the Ohuhu section above, I've been spending quite a bit of time on Reddit. It's not my favorite place on the internet, but I do like that I've been able to have long-ish form discussions about things over there that I would be pretty hard-pressed to cleanly fit inside of art posts. That's where most of my writing muscles have been getting their exercise.

The other one, and probably a little more interesting to you Sparklers, is BlueSky, one of the half a dozen "Twitter Replacements" that's been floating around.

To be fair, there were points where I thought either Mastodon or Threads were going to be my "Twitter Replacement" of choice, but ultimately neither ended up sticking with me and I'm not really sure why. It's possible the same will eventually be true for BlueSky as well, but so far even without fresh art to post it's been jiving decently enough with me.

I've mostly been posting Doll Photos over there; Literally the month after I lost the will to keep up with the monthly blog posts entirely, my interest in Fashion Dolls was finally renewed after a probably 5-6 year hiatus with one Karla Choupette.

I'll spare you Sparklers the nitty-gritty details (especially since I think I may be able to delve into them more appropriately in the future 😉), but suffice to say after falling in love with Karla and Monster High finally producing dolls I actually like again that I've been having a bit of a "Doll Love Renaissance" and I have taken probably a gross and shocking amount of photos of small plastic ladies over the course of the last year.

I don't know what it is about BlueSky that's made me genuinely want to share over there—It certainly isn't a massive following or massive amounts of engagement—but there is something, and it's pretty nice when previously I had to really talk myself into sharing anything that wasn't directly art-related over on Twitter.

Aside from just letting you Sparklers know I'm active on BlueSky at all, this is also relevant because I've taken to fairly regularly making things for the dolls—Mostly tiny crochet clothes, but a few other accessories too, like a belt I recently made to cover up uneven stitching on one doll's dress. And sometimes I re-paint details on certain dolls as well, but nothing super dramatic like some Doll Customizers do!

I would eventually like to compile photos of all (or at least most) of the things I've made for the dolls and maybe actually post them at least over on Ko-fi, and maybe here on DeviantArt too, since I am pretty proud of a lot of them and I think they'd be mildly interesting to my audience. But there are no concrete plans for that at the moment, just wishful thinking.

One related thing I do have slightly more concrete plans for though is the release of a Crochet Pattern—I got a little tired of the lack of pants options for the Rainbow High dolls, especially non-skinny ones, so I did some research and muddled together a pattern for some fitted bell-bottoms. I think the pattern itself is pretty much ready-to-go for sharing, but I did want to make one last test pair of the pants first (this will be the third pair in total) just to make sure one of my yarn recommendations works as well as I think it will.

The pattern will 100% be posted in the Ko‑fi Shop when the time comes, I'm just not completely sure if I'll be attempting to post it (or example photos at least) to DeviantArt as well, but...probably. We'll see!

Part 3: Everything Else

There is one more "not proper art" thing I've been slowly chipping away at that I think you Sparklers will find interesting.

...To be fair, there are some other much smaller things that I've shared with the Sparklers' Club on Discord that would also fit in this category, but they're not as interesting and would normally be saved for the "From the Archives" section in a Monthly Round-Up, so I'd feel out of place discussing them here.

Anyway. I've started the maybe-minorly-insane project of maintaining a Wiki for my Winx Club OCs: "The Mystix Dimension."

I've been keeping a running Google Doc with information about said OCs over the past couple of years as I've been doing major redevelopment on them, but I was getting tired of the limited ways to organize everything in that format.

After a lot of research that ultimately ended up going nowhere, I opted for the format I know best. I spent quite a bit of time making pages for my most-used Winx OCs on the Winx Fanon Wiki back in the day, but in the present I wanted the freedom to mess with the Wiki's code to both make it look more like the "official" Winx Club Wiki and also tailor it more to my own specific needs.

The "Mystix Wiki" is still very Under Construction with a lot of stuff missing, but it is slowly but surely getting there and most of the "bones" are in place.

So if you Sparklers are curious about my Winx OCs specifically, you can pop over there and have a look around—Of the information there, there's already a nice sampling that's pretty different from what long-time Sparklers may remember of my OCs from the earlier DeviantArt days when I was posting about them super regularly. 😉

A side effect of the Wiki that I semi-expected though is that it has made me realize how little I've actually drawn of my OCs even though they've been pretty consistently on the back of my mind for months. So I think pretty soon there are going to be more new Winx drawings in the works as I continue to fill out the Wiki. 😆

And speaking of drawings in the works...

Peeks At Actual Art Things I've Done

Now, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I definitely don't have a lot in the way of Work-In-Progress (WIP) Drawings, but I do have some that I started on before this unintentional hiatus. While I'd normally save some or even most of the WIPs for a Monthly Round-Up instead, given the circumstances I think it only makes sense to go ahead and share them with you Sparklers here and now.

We'll start with a few that should be recognizable as "updates" from the WIP Palooza that I posted back in August:

Firstly, and this will most likely be the next finished piece I actually post, I did finally polish off that sketch of Karla Choupette in the Winx Club art style. (And this is what I meant earlier when I mentioned I might be able to elaborate on my Doll Renaissance feelings later—The description for this piece would be a good place to do that!)

...I'm not showing the completely finished version here because I would like there to be some surprise when it goes public, and also even after all this time I'm still not 100% on the background I chose. So it could still change before the final post.

But Karla herself I'm happy with. I have no idea if I'll ever draw any more Rainbow/Shadow High characters in the Winx Style, but the door is open if I decide I want to.

Next we have...heh, My Winxsona in the Fan Transformation Formalix, better known as "Winxsona Winter Week 7". Incredibly, unbelievably late for "Winxsona Winter" at this point. But nevertheless, I started on the final two pieces for the series and I do want to finish them!

This one isn't fully finished like Karla, but it isn't too far off. It mainly needs shading and a background...And if I had no clue what to do for a background for Karla, then I have like -5 clues what to do for this one. 😅 I'll figure something out, though!

Likewise, I also have the "finished" sketch for "Winxsona WInter Week 8," or: My Winxsona in the Fan Transformation Dimentix.

Mystic Stars and Above on my Ko-fi already saw this WIP back in July, but this is much further along than you Sparklers saw in the WIP Palooza; At that time I had the concept sketch for the outfit and the wings done, and the pose, but I hadn't drawn the outfit on the pose yet.

The Dimentix wings are also ready for coloring (and the Mystic Stars & Above saw this one already too), but they won't be colored until after I get the flat colors down for the outfit/main image so I have a better idea of what colors should go where:

Again, no clue for the background on the finished Dimentix piece, but push-come-to-shove, I can skip a proper background and just recreate the..."wallpaper" effects that were used for the original Dimentix images made by FlorainBloom back in the day.

That leaves us with the two final WIPs I have to share, but for my Winx-loving Sparklers, I think they'll be the most exciting...

Yes, over a year later, I'm picking up the "series" that technically began with Light that Burns the Sky! 😁

Originally, I wasn't sure "Dark Enchantix" (or, my preferred name that I way overthought: "Incantix") would even be a series, but the response to Bloom and Stella was so positive [the Time Lapse has over 20,000 views on YouTube!!] and I did enjoy the concept so much...Yeah, it only feels right to give the rest of the Winx the same treatment. 😄

​As you can see, I've managed to come pretty far. Tecna and Flora have most of their shading done, so next for them is getting their wings in order, then the background (and I plan to use basically the same background that Bloom and Stella got for everyone, so that shouldn't take too much work). And Layla and Musa are pretty far along too...However, I have gone back and forth a bit on Layla's blues and Musa's golds/yellows.

Once again, I'll spare you the nitty-gritty for now, but was one of the challenges for my "Incantix Vision" from the beginning and is the smaller part of why these two drawings have been delayed so much. [...Y'know aside from the other things we talked about at the beginning of this journal.]

The other thing is that I lost my mojo for these two pieces specifically because I had hoped I'd get them finished by the end of the year to submit to a Winx Club fan project, and clearly that didn't happen. (I did go ahead and submit Bloom & Stella since they were finished, though!)

However, that fan project recently re-opened submissions through the end of May this year, so naturally I'm feeling a bit of an itch to see if I get can them both finished by then, even if it's just the still images and the Time Lapses (which only make sense to make since the first one did so well) have to wait a bit longer.

...Considering it's nearly the end of April now and I'd like to get at least 1-2 other things posted before I jump back into Incantix, and all the other circumstances, I obviously have my doubts about whether or not that will happen. But, who knows, maybe telling you Sparklers about it at this stage will be the extra encouragement I need.

At the very least, you Sparklers now know those finished pieces are coming eventually even if it isn't in May, and that was the main point in sharing the WIPs anyhow.

Wrap Up

​So. Now you Sparklers know where the heck I've been and some of what I've been up to in my time away.

I really didn't mean to more or less up and disappear and I am not happy that I have so little to show for my absence...But there's no time machine to go back and un-do it all, so for better or worse it is what it is.

I am, however, writing this blog post in the hopes that it'll be the "permission" I need to give myself to at least attempt to get back into an art posting rhythm.

As I touched on in the previous section, I do have a vague plan for my next finished piece to post, but it felt kind of wrong to just randomly go back to posting art like the past 4-5 months didn't happen with no explanation, especially over on Ko-fi. So here we are.

And...Beyond that, I really don't know how to end this. It feels a bit cheap to leave on my previous usual blog post send-off when this one is so different in nature...But I also don't consider myself as very good at ending these things in the first place. 😅

I should say though before I go—I really, sincerely do appreciate you Sparklers that have stuck by me in one way or another while I went radio silent. Every like, comment, whatever—I've still seen them all while I was away, and those are the little things that keep bringing me back when I do hit rough patches like this. Knowing that at the end of the day the art things I do matter to someone out there. It means more than I can put into words. So thank you, Sparklers, for just being there.

​Hopefully, it won't be too much longer before I can share some new things with you Sparklers to make it really worth your while. But, until then, as always...

Take Care and Sparkle On ✨

~Mystic~