#i don't understand people sometimes

[cazort]

I find it very weird how so many people on Tumblr nowadays are like "age in bio or I block you" and it makes me wonder if these people have any experience living as an adult in the real world. These people never explain the rationale behind their demands.

Like 99% of the places I go it would be considered rude, socially awkward, and sometimes even creepy to ask another person their age, especially an adult. People can be touchy about age for a variety of reasons, most of which come down to some type of discrimination or bias which can go both for being old or being young.

Businesses or other organizations with legal cutoffs for age or other valid reasons to know a person's age will do so discreetly and only when needed. Most of the time the business doesn't even know or record the person's age, they just want to check whether or not it is over some sort of legal limit, like 21 for purchasing alcohol or 18 for a lot of other things, or older or younger cutoffs for a few other things. (Related: I'm fine with people saying their blog is for 18+ and they are 18+, or similarly, if minors say they don't want to interact with people 18+. There are good reasons for people posting about certain topics to want such restrictions and that's not what this post is about!)

Age can also be a sensitive topic for trans and gender-nonconforming people. We trans people often have a more complex relationship to age, especially people who pursue HRT but even those who don't, often experience a "second puberty" where we go through changes including both physical changes and social / mental / lifestyle changes that involve exploring various aspects of life and gender-expression, and we often do this a lot later for the gender we identify as, than our cis counterparts do. Gender also affects how people see us, like I notice that people often think I am younger than I am because of "feminine" presentation choices that I make, and this is less likely when I present more masculinely (such as if I don't shave my face), and I've noticed that people with more strongly pronounced sex characteristics (like facial hair, a deep voice, or a curvy build with big breasts and hips) are often seen as older than they are, especially in their younger years, whereas people with more androgynous builds and features are more likely to be read as younger. I've repeatedly had people tell me I'm lying about my age when I am being 100% honest, so it's like, displaying my age sometimes opens me up to negativity and harassment from people who think I'm lying. So again, all of this can be sensitive for us trans and GNC people, so demanding ages is likely to bring up more sense of weirdness and conflict for trans people, especially since a lot of us have people read our ages very wrong, just based on how we look, and because also people can judge us for "age inappropriate" behaviors as adults, which interacts with how we trans people are often viewed as "creepy". So demanding ages in bios is going to be harder on trans people and thus comes across as somewhat anti-trans and cisnormative, especially when it comes from cis people who show no understanding of trans people's issues. And I've noticed these are most of the people demanding ages in bios.

There are also other reasons not to want to share your age. People under 18, or even younger (or much older) people who are over 18, also might not want to advertise their age because it might attract predatory behavior or other unwanted attention. Younger and elderly people alike are often targetted with scams. And in general, age is yet one more potentially valuable piece of personal data that scammers are interested in collecting so it's not a good idea to just put it out in plain view on the internet for any stranger to be able to see and collect.

Demanding ages in bios is also totally unnecessary and doesn't seem to have any benefits. Tumblr already has built-in measures for marking content and/or blogs as NSFW. Anyone can lie about their age so demanding people put ages in their bio does nothing and may even create a false sense of security surrounding interactions where a person's age is relevant.

Also, so many people will update their bio once and then never change it. Like one person I follow, whose blog is very active, has had the same age listed in their bio for like 7 years, so the figures shown are often wrong just out of sheer negligence. And this is okay, like I'm not gonna run around policing people like "You have to update your blog bio or I'm gonna unfollow you!" what kind of uptight authoritarian bullshit would that be?

And like what are people even expecting to accomplish with this sort of demand? I just don't get it.

Here's how I think about ages in bio:

I don't care whether or not you put it there.

If I don't know you, I'm gonna take whatever number you put there with a grain of salt because I know you could be deliberately lying, or just never updating your bio.

Even if I trust your listed age is accurate, I don't really want to think about it very much. Ageism is a thing and people can have biases both against younger and against older people. I want to see everyone the way they are, not based on my preconceived notions about them. Things like maturity, wisdom, naivety, immaturity, experience or inexperience, will speak for themselves and manifest in different ways, and I want to focus on who you are and what you say and do, not some number that gives me an impression of how you "should" think at your age. If you have the maturity of a middle-schooler, I don't care if you're 55 I'm not gonna give your perspective special treatment. If you have something intelligent to say or some deep insight, and the idea speaks for itself, I'm gonna listen to you no matter how young (or old) you are.

If you demand ages in bios it makes me conclude you are probably not someone who is safe for me to interact with, even if you theoretically would want to interact with me (which you probably don't because I have never put my age in my bio.) As someone who has experienced sometimes severe ageism both for people judging me for being too young, or too old, in certain situations, it tells me you are out-of-touch with IRL social norms and are willing to impose new norms that 99% of people would find rude, and that you're probably the kind of person who would make negative or untruthful snap judgments about me for all sorts of reasons, probably not just age, and therefore that I don't want to interact with.

So yeah. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.s

[vampiredulac]

i hate it when i see “i miss xyz’s old sound” or “why did xyz change so much? they were sooo much better before” like it’s called growing as an artist???

[sillyturtlesblog]

The creature is actually really nice, I like it:(

I'm very tempted to make reaction images with the lil creature</3

this post i made which multiple systems across tumblr liked ended up on system cringe. usually i don't care for this but it was very nerve wracking to find this on a place completely without my knowledge.

i made this creature as someone who has a dissociative disorder. i thought that if we also had something cute to associate with a stigmatized group of disorders such as osdd, did, and udd. maybe some systems would find comfort in it or feel like they fit in with other neurodivergent communities who have a little creature. i did not make this creature to make it quirky and be fucking fake claimed. i made it because it made me feel nice and obviously made some others feel that way too. r/systemscringe is hateful and always has been and will continue to be.

this is literal bullshit, you're making fun of people who deal with something as debilitating as these kinds of disorders when it was me, a child, just wanting to make something nice for a community that already feels fucking awful for existing.

it's pathetic.

[captainjonnitkessler]

The second you start talking about some mysterious "they" that are controlling society in some fashion, you are engaging in dangerous conspiratorial thinking even if you're being woke about it. "They" did not institute the 40 hour work week specifically so you would be too tired to revolt. "They" did not invent the sleek minimalist aesthetic in order to crush the spirit of art in the common people. "They" are not pushing mediocre media into the mainstream in order to poison people's critical thinking skills.

Your best case scenario after that is you talk to someone who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about and you get embarrassed because you can't answer basic questions about your own ideology because you never learned anything past "the ruling class/capitalists/politicians are making things bad and if we got rid of them the bad things would all go away!"

Your worst case scenario is obviously the woo-to-fascist pipeline and you end up believing Jews are poisoning American food supplies with GMOs in order to turn us all into beta cucks, so like . . . maybe just stop blaming "them" before you fall down that route.

Obligatory round of disclaimers: Yes, sometimes people do bad things. Be specific about exactly who is doing what instead of ascribing it to some vague group of shadowy elites. Yes, sometimes things in society are bad. Learn to identify the root causes of complex social issues instead of assuming that they're actually extremely simple to fix and we're just not doing it because of some vague group of shadowy elites. Yes, minimalism isn't for everyone. Learn that some people don't share your tastes and get the fuck over it for the love of god.

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[rogueshadeaux]

“I hate the script, the vault dwellers sound so cheesy—“ my Brother in Steel you realize that’s the point, right? They were bred to act like the physical embodiment of an HR e-mail. Did you not catch the memo that Vault-Tec put out regarding their experiment facilities?

[shinynewmemories]

Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.

Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!

Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.

And who is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!

To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.

Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".

[marzipanandminutiae]

"we bought this Victorian house and opened up the interior, adding lots of overhead lights and pewter walls-"

biting you killing you biting you killing you biting you killing you

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

[wonderfull-star]

I like that face Dev makes.

He just a smol baby 🥺

[shopcat]

i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

[adiradirim]

one of the funniest/saddest things about having a jewish post breach containment is you'll read tags that are super loudly excited about how much they just looooove judaism and the jews (tm) and you'll be like "oh?" and click on their blog to see what else they've been saying and reblogging and be like oh

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[sparring-spirals]

I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:

You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,

vs

How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.

Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".

Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.