#i don't think they should have been publically shunned for it

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

Fun fact, this film was based on the Woods & Pirie v. Cumming Gordon case. The biggest difference between the movie and real life however is racism, which ultimately meant the teachers won the case.

See during the Victorian era men were seen as sexually active while women (specifically white British women) were seen as "pure" and unable to have any sort of sexual desire. This meant that while gay men were prosecuted for their homosexuality, lesbianism was not officially criminalised.

This belief did not extend to women from "The East" (including but not limited to All of Asia, Eastern Europe and anywhere the Ottoman empire touched), who were seen as hypersexual and sexually deviant.

The Cumming vs Woods and Pirie case stemmed from the child Jane Cumming seeing her two teachers have sex, telling her grandma, the esteemed Lady Helen Cumming Gordon. This lead to Jane and many other students dropping out, and the word of Marianne Woods and Jane Pirie being lesbians getting out, both of which financially ruined the 20 year old teachers. As a result the teachers sued Cumming for libel.

Now where does my previous context come in? Well, Jane was a bastard, specifically born to an unknown Indian mother and George Cummings, a Scottish writer who worked with the East India Company. She lived in India till the age of 8.

The reason Pirie and Woods were considered innocent and won their court case (though they were financially no better off due to legal fees) was because the witness was a brown girl, and therefore considered sexually deviant. The idea that white women could perform "motions of the body, quick and high breathing, and a shaking of the bed" (Faderman, p.60) which sounded "like putting one's finger into the neck of a wet bottle. " (ibid, p.147) was absurd to the Victorian judges. Hence the following statement was given after they were deemed innocent:

"I am happy to express my belief that to this moment, no such crime was ever known in Scotland or in Britain. I do believe that the crime here alleged has no existence." (Lord Gillies in Faderman, p.282).

The belief of Jane's inherent sexual nature due to her brownness "maturity" continues in the modern day, with certain groups of queer people *cough white queers cough* claiming that Pirie and Woods were possibly in love but didn't actually have sex, and that sex only became part of the discussion because Jane wanted to leave the school (which they substantiate with the well-documented racism Jane faced and the fact that Miss Pirie was extremely harsh towards Jane most likely due to her race) and could see the subtle signs of lesbian love because she was "mature" or "understood sexual desires better"

Some Quotes in the article “Female Masculinity” by Jack Halberstam (1998)

"The peculiarities of this court case are immensely complicated because the accusing girl was Anglo-Indian, and in both the court transcripts and Lillian Falderman’s recreation of them, the girl is repeatedly Orientalized and depicted as suspiciously sexually knowledgeable”

"Lord Meadowbank comments that Jane Cumming must have obtained such information from her ‘Hindoo female domestics' "

“Throughout the case, judges and prosecutors accuse Jane Cumming of importing sexual knowledge from India and tainting pure British women with her accusations. British women, the insist, practice asexual romantic friendships and know nothing of dildos or enlarged clitorides"

“the judges feel secure in the innocence of British womanhood by displacing all perverse sexual activity onto foreign imaginations"

THE CHILDREN'S HOUR (1961) dir. William Wyler Longtime friends Martha and Karen run a boarding school for girls. When an unruly child, Mary, is punished for lying, she concocts a story that Karen and Martha are having a lesbian relationship. When the story spreads, parents withdraw their children from the school. The women's lawsuit for libel hits many snags when they lack witnesses to speak for them, and all this stress adversely affects both Karen's upcoming engagement as well as her friendship with Martha. (link in title)

[pinchinschlimbah]

On "Coming Out" and Noel Fielding

I mentioned forever ago that I had this post in mind and then never got around to it, but now with the new interview quote I was yelling about recently it feels like a particularly good time to get it out of my brain and onto the page! tl;dr: musings on the concept of "coming out" as it has evolved over time, whether it's something that should continue to be necessary or expected of queer people, and why Noel is particularly inspirational to me in that regard since this is, after all, my brainrot blog. This may be extremely long and a bit disjointed but I hope some of y'all will enjoy it!

So a while ago myself and several friends were discussing the concept of coming out. All of us are some flavor of queer both in gender and orientation, but each is in a different place along their self discovery and identity journey, with some being long since out and proud, and others just starting to dip their toes into exploration past the expected cishet.

This discussion actually was prompted by a different discussion about Noel, spurred by comments we'd come across slamming him as being homophobic/transphobic on Bakeoff for making comments suggesting he has romantic or sexual attraction towards Paul, referring to himself with female-centric terms, playing female characters in the skits, and a particular moment where he brings up Old Gregg while talking to KimJoy and says "he was a sea transsexual....quite a demanding role for me" while laughing to indicate that that last part was said in jest. Hey fellas, is it homophobic/transphobic to be a little bit gay and trans? This got us talking about how the current culture of queer identity has evolved to the point where "coming out" feels more like something the public feels they're owed in order for them to view one's expression as valid, rather than its original purpose as something one does for themself in order to live most authentically. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many artists have been harassed by their "fans" into coming out before they were ready because people wouldn't accept the validity of that person's work without knowing exactly how that person identified, there've been plenty of articles and video essays and better written tumblr posts about that, but it's definitely a concerning trend. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to people who aren't feeling confident or safe enough to come out, who end up being criticized and shunned by the queer community as being somehow problematic for not being able to fully articulate to a group of strangers the ways in which they're experiencing their identity. In this situation, the people who are struggling the most end up with the least support. Forcing people to either declare an identity or get out just leads to more people staying closeted out of fear of doing it "wrong" and never getting the chance to explore the most authentic and joyful versions of themselves, or even worse, feeling the need to out themselves before they're in a safe place to do so and suffering the resulting consequences. Questioning or cautious people deserve space in the community to experiment even if they haven't yet or maybe never will come out! My high school's Gay Straight Alliance was comprised entirely of "straight allies" when I was there. There was not a single "out" person in the school at the time. Nearly all of us in the GSA ended up being some flavor of queer or trans years later after graduation. But whether it was intentional closeting or just feeling an innate affinity towards something we couldn't quite pinpoint at the time, we all knew we belonged there and made that space for ourselves and others like us. Back when "coming out" first became a concept in the public consciousness, it was during a time where cishet identity was not just considered the default, but the only option. By coming out, queer people were giving genuinely revolutionary representation for themselves and others like them by telling the world that, as the old saying goes, we're here, we're queer, get used to it! Nowadays, we're lucky to live in a culture that is much more cognizant of queer identities being a thing, so in many cases coming out has become less about having to explain to those around you the basic concept of queerness existing, and moreso about which specific identity you fall under, and that's where things get messy.

My friends and I shared our own thoughts and experiences. One is currently identifying as "unlabeled" because they haven't found a term that feels correct yet, and therefore hasn't come out because they wouldn't know what to say. One spoke about how when they first came out they were much more insistent on what terms or pronouns people used for them but as time has gone on they've grown to find joy in being inscrutable and letting others wonder what they're perceiving. One expressed that given the state of the world they've been retreating somewhat back into the closet for safety reasons rather than being super outward with their queerness like they used to and is working on learning to embrace those parts of themself again. One said they felt like they'd already been existing as queer and expressing that queerness "before I even had the terms to come out to myself" and is now working on catching up on the conscious end of figuring out what's what. I myself never really had an official "coming out", I just became increasingly visually/socially/vocally queer as I became more and more confident in who I was and what I wanted to be and who I had on some level always been, and decided if people didn't get the hint that's their own problem. I came into consciousness of my queerness during the early 2010s original tumblr MOGAI microlabel boom, where there was a ton of focus on figuring out the hyper specific identity labels that exactly described what you were experiencing. I did a lot of digging and soul searching and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress trying and failing to find my perfect labels and landed on clumsy terms like "full time drag queen" because it was the closest I could get to what I was feeling about my gender, only to be told it was problematic for me to call myself that as an AFAB person because drag "belongs to cis gay men" (don't get me started on that statement, that's a whole other essay lol) It was a real wake up call once I distanced from these aggressively labeled and segmented online spaces and made my way into real world queer communities where I was relieved to find that in fact no one there asks to check your membership card before letting you in, if you feel like you belong there you're welcome no questions asked.

I had other people in these communities referring to me as "queer" and "fag" and "gay" and "queen" before I felt comfortable doing so myself based on online Discourse I'd experienced over who is Allowed to use certain terms, and having these community leaders I respected recognizing those things in me and welcoming me in like that gave me the confidence to really find my own footing in ways that attempting to find my exact correct identity label so that I could officially proclaim it never did. Once I could answer the question of what I was with a shrug and "queer I guess!" things became so much easier. Microlabels can be incredibly helpful and liberating for some, don't get me wrong if it works for you that's great, but let's not pretend that everyone is going to have the same experiences.

So anyway, back to Noel. Noel has never, to my knowledge, ever had any sort of official “coming out” or explicitly referred to himself as queer. So I know there are people out there who will disagree with me considering him to be queer. But so much of what he’s said and done throughout his several decades long career has indicated to me that this is clearly someone of queer experience navigating the world as such, and just as the queers in my local community welcomed me as one of them before I knew to do it myself, I extend that welcome forward. 

Let’s take a look at some of the facts. In the public span of his career, Noel has.....(in no particular order, also if anyone wants to add additional instances of note in the reblogs or comments please feel free, this is by no means a fully comprehensive list) -repeatedly called himself "the woman of the Boosh" or Julian's/Howard's "wife" in ways that suggest that's how he actually felt about it rather than it just being a punchline that he was mistaken for female in the show [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] -referred to himself at the GQ "Man of the Year" awards as "never been a man" and "a sort of girl, he/she" -been referred to by Sandi Toksvig as being "on the cusp" in regards to gender, to which he reacts with amusement and acceptance -consistently expressed excitement and appreciation when others refer to him with feminine terms or say he looks like a girl [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] -said "I love being a man-woman, it's much more interesting than being one or the other" and expressed that the loved shooting the Boosh Electro episode for this reason -referred to Vince Noir (a character who he's been pretty open about being based on himself) as "wasn't seemingly one gender or the other" -expressed that he felt most free and happy when presenting femininely [2] -had Julian, one of the people closest to him, express that Noel and Sandi (an out lesbian) may have "real sexual chemistry" because Noel is "all over the shop, he's a different sex" -used the "Confuser" line of "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'm not sure I mind" to refer to himself rather than Vince, and express that he's had to work to find new ways to feel as androgynous as he'd like now that he's older -referred to himself as a lesbian [2] -said that he "sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a woman", in the same interview that Julian implies that Noel is in fact a girl -referred to himself as a "girl/boy" -consistently referred to himself with feminine terms on panel shows and bakeoff -made a joke on bakeoff about not being a testosterone-based person -responded positively when asked about the ways Boosh had influenced queer and nonbinary youth -has said he's "quite obsessed with the man/woman mixup thing" -has said if he was an animal he'd want to be a seahorse because the males get pregnant -Had Lee Mack, who Noel used to live with, refer to him as "the little transsexual one, yeah I think she's fantastic" in a Boosh documentary and "a young lady who came out here happy to be herself" in response to Noel's Wuthering Heights drag performance -had his own mother refer to him as "the daughter I always wanted" -described his own appearance as that of a "transsexual witch" and when an interviewer attempted to make fun of him for calling himself "a transgender witch" by showing Noel a drawing the interviewer clearly found repulsive, Noel responded that the interviewer was "holding up a mirror" and called the image his passport photo

And I'm not even going to bother citing sources on the countless times he's made comments suggesting romantic or sexual attraction towards men. Literally just watch any non-character appearance he's ever done, it's kind of his whole thing??? Not to mention his penchant for picking up explicitly queer and gnc character roles, and also just [gestures vaguely to everything Noel and Julian have said about each other suggesting romantic and sexual tension between them and how they used their characters as an excuse to explore those feelings in a less scary way, again that could be a whole other essay on its own but ooh boy] I also think there's something interesting to explore in the idea of Noel repeatedly referring to his appearance as transgender or transsexual rather than identifying himself as such- at what point does the appearance of something become reality?

It all begs the question- is it even a joke anymore if it's that consistent? Either it's not a joke and it's an authentic expression of his real feelings and experiences, or he for some reason really really wants everyone to believe that he's queer when he's not, with this behavior spanning back to a time before the concept of queerbaiting was on anyone's minds and when being publicly queer could mean the end of your career. Which scenario do you think is more likely? And, does someone who’s been conducting themself like this for their entire career really NEED to come out? Honestly, I find this level of simultaneous authenticity and inscrutability aspirational.

In this Velvet Onion interview from 2012, Noel compares his penchant for dresses to both Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard. This is interesting because those two people represent pretty opposite intentions behind their presentation- Grayson identifies solidly as cis male, and for him the shock value of crossdressing is the point, saying “I signed up for a gender and I want them to be very clearly delineated so I know I’m dressing up in the wrong clothes.” This doesn't seem particularly in line with where Noel is coming from given him famously referring to himself as "the Confuser" and stating in that same Velvet Onion interview that he "never even bothered giving it a label, I never went oh I'm a transvestite, I just went yeah if I fancy wearing a dress I do, never really thought about it really" Eddie on the other hand has famously said "They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, I bought them." indicating that they were a genuine part of her authentic expression rather than a crossdressing costume, and has subsequently over the years identified more and more solidly as transfemme. I find Eddie's trajectory particularly fascinating because it's been so non-linear. In the 90s when the language for transness was much less public knowledge, she referred to herself consistently as a transvestite- a cishet man who enjoyed dressing as a woman, as well as using terms like "male tomboy" and "male lesbian" and "a full boy plus extra girl". Despite doing most of her standup shows in femme looks, most of her acting jobs were male-presenting, and there was a period of time in the 2010s where she dropped the femme presentation entirely in an attempt to be taken more seriously as the "crossdressing" was seen by many as a gimmick. Swinging back around more recently, Eddie has been explicitly identifying as genderfluid and transfemme, and in recent years has made the decision to "be based in girl mode from now on", and use primarily she/her pronouns. Since this announcement, in her trans advocacy work Eddie has described herself as being "out" as trans since the 1980s despite all of the above. She always knew who she was, it's just she's gotten access to more accurate terms over time to describe what she was experiencing, as well as feeling more safe to do so the more that transness became a known and accepted concept in the public eye.

The interview I mentioned at the very start of this post isn't really a coming out from Noel. And I don't think we'll ever really get one from him. In my opinion Noel has spent the past several decades conducting himself as someone who is in fact already out- it’s pretty clear Noel knows and is proud of who he is regardless of how he chooses to describe that identity. At this point, making some sort of official statement would just be for the benefit of others looking for clarification on their own perception of him and people who want to be able to put him in one box or another, and that’s not what coming out should be. The statement in the new interview is not "I am genderfluid", its "I've always been genderfluid", simply putting an accurate name to what's always been publicly visibly true now that he's got the terms to do so.

[plscallmeeren]

O H , H A R R Y

Hermione Jean Granger x Luna Lovegood x Reader

Request: yes

Summary: you have been friends with the trio since first year and you've always been enthralled by Hermione and Luna, but only now in sixth year (for legal reasons everyone's an adult) are confessions made...... btw it's potions class and Harry has a crush on you (potions facts r all correct)

Warnings: Swearing; nipple play; magic strap-on/fake p; fisting; finger f; face f; power dynamics; bondage; top!reader; biting; anatomy ig; dirty talk of all kinds; threesome; anal; semi-public sex; porn with hardly any plot; out of character Hermione; damn idk stuff

Word Count: 3.6K+

You stared miserably at your cauldron in lieu of Snape's arrival. Luna sat next to you, doodling something in a notebook, completely unaware of your thoughts entangling with her.

In front of you, Harry and Ron were placed side by side, whispering about something. Hermione sat a way off, poring over her potions book as if she needed preparation for the lesson. Your heart nestled into your stomach mockingly as Ron looked her way adoringly.

What were you thinking? How could you be into two girls? Wasn't one bad enough? And what on Earth possessed you to think you had a chance?

But you had to tell them. At some point. For your own sake. So that you could move on. At least Luna, because Hermione would be harder to escape if things went south, considering you were in the same group of friends.

Your gaze wandered helplessly toward the Ravenclaw girl, searching her profile for something that might comfort you. Whatever that meant, you found it, because the sheer sight of her brought some joy to you - every single time.

Eventually Snape strode in, dramatic as always, impatiently beginning his lesson void of introduction, as if he weren't the one who had come too late.

"Valerian - recognising it. How tall-"

"One to two meters, sir," Hermione cut in enthusiastically, recoiling at the look he sent her in return.

"And are the blossoms or the leaves edible?" he continued, ignoring her. Apparently his gaze lingered on Luna for too long, however, because she answered easily: "Both. The leaves are harvested between May and June, the blossoms between June and July."

"That's not what I asked," he snarled, "and I don't recall calling on you, could that be, Miss Lovegood?" She held his stare better than anyone.

"Right. (Y/l/n), is the root dried before the common tincture is derived from its essence?" Snape sounded smug. Usually that was bad.

"No, it's not. And the tincture is said to be repellent of cruel spirits and similar." For a second you felt smug yourself. Then you remembered it was still bad.

"Also not my question. Now; who can tell me what real potion Valerian roots are essentially to-"

Hermione's hand was raised. Snape stared at her, looking almost surprised that she should suddenly be present and also have the nerve to remind him of this. She withered under his scrutiny, finally choosing to answer as he wasn't moving: "Draught of the living death, sir. I think, sir."

"I don't think I like your attitude, Miss Granger. Or yours, for that matter," he added meaningfully, glaring at you and Luna in turn. "Detention. All three of you. You'll be cleaning up the doubtless mess that will arise this lesson due to the jumping beans. No leaving after class."

You wished you could protest with the fact that you had a lesson the next period, but you didn't have one, just this once, and by the looks of it, neither did your friends. Harry and Ron looked at you pitifully.

This is the time. This is the day, a surprisingly loud voice inside you said. You gulped. Maybe it was. 

The lesson dragged as fitful bursts of imagination illustrated to you exactly which ways you could be explicitly shunned and exiled, while others portrayed perfect scenarios of reciprocation that partly led to some crazy classroom threesome. You felt almost guilty for thinking about them that way, but you were the last one encouraging these thoughts after all.

Finally, not that you had noticed, the two hours of anticipation faded away with the distant coaster of students packing their things. Snape loomed over Hermione, supposedly giving instructions. She winced at something he said and you were overcome with a strange sort of second-hand rage. Not the kind that made you move out your blood boil, but the kind that twisted some vital organ you couldn't place, deep down inside your gut.

He left, cape swooshing, and there you were.

You. Hermione. Luna.

You all looked at each other for a moment before Hermione began relaying Snape's tricks for catching the beans. They sounded awfully implausible. You all suspected they were only supposed to mistake it harder, but quiet prevailed as you got to work.

It was awkward silence. And you had no idea why.

This was not as usual. The three of you were quite close, or at least you were with both of them, and there was never any tension unless Luna brought up an unusual creature and stubbornly disallowed anyone from changing the subject.

Eventually you couldn't stand it any longer. "I have something to tell you. Both of you. To get off my chest."

They looked at you expectantly, abandoning the hopeless search for bouncing legumes.

"What is it?" Hermione, oh clever Hermione, with wit and smarts and pride.

"Yes?" Luna, lovely Luna, with daydreams and understanding and interest.

"I don't expect you to react to this," you continued uneasily, watching them exchange an unreadable look. "I really don't. I don't want it to change. Us. Anything. But it's not getting better, so this is the only way I can think of."

You inhaled deeply, closing your eyes for a second to regain your composure. "I like you. Both of you. And I know that's weird. I know we're friends and I shouldn't but I really do. It's only become more with time, so... I don't know what else to do but tell you and..."

Hermione beamed. Luna laughed. Your brow furrowed.

"Oh, but that's wonderful!" Hermione exclaimed, flinging herself at you so that you had to half catch her, not letting you finish.

"Wait- What do you mean, that's wonderful?" You asked, confused.

Luna smiled. "(Y/n), you can't imagine how wonderful this is," she started, approaching the part of the room where Hermione leaned against your frame. "Recently I admitted to Hermione that I felt for you also, and at first she was disturbed, because she had the same feelings, but then we realized that if you hypothetically felt back, there was no reason we couldn't share you. Or, more likely, that whoever you liked should have total allowance to act on their wishes."

You stared at her. This was a dream, right? Sure, Luna could be direct, but still...

You pinched your arm, simultaneously ecstatic and disturbed when it hurt. You looked at them both in turn again, Hermione pulling away a little from her impractical position. "So... the three of us? Together?"

"Yes."

"If you can handle both."

"Right." You clicked your tongue, eyes involuntarily roaming Hermione's body as she stood so close to you. "I don't know what to say now."

"What were you going to say?" Luna asked slyly, siding up to you as well.

"Well... I'm always thinking of you. In the library, when we study together," you lock eyes with Hermione, "and when we hang out. You're just never absent from my mind."

Hermione giggled, and your brows rose when you realized what she was thinking. Luna smiled coyly also, making you smirk. "Not really what I meant, but sure."

"Don't you think we should celebrate? Instead of moderately awkward sexual tension, I mean," Luna asked, keeping an entirely straight face.

"Oh, yes," Hermione agreed, grinning, lighting up as if she had just arrived at a spectacular idea. "I think I'll just pick up that bean."

She paced about two steps before leaning over slowly in a way that would never be suitable for catching something, showing off the perfect silhouette of her ass and legs. "Oops," she murmured when it jumped away.

You bit your lip, turning to Luna instead. Your hand found the nape of her neck where your fingers could reach the roots of her hair, your other securing her waist as you leaned in, kissing her slowly.

It was better than you had imagined it. More natural, more believable. It felt like melting into her. Your heart sunk between your legs.

Hermione, looking almost jealous, swung her hips as she walked, wrapping an arm around your waist and the other through your hair as if to drag you away.

You pulled back, eyeing her playfully before moving the hand that had resided on Luna's hip to the other girl's side, slowly finding your way to cup her ass. She gasped.

You couldn't believe this was happening. Each arm around a beautiful girl.

"You can do her first," the Ravenclaw whispered. "I don't mind watching."

"I wouldn't want to keep you out of the fun," you smiled wickedly. "Why don't you sit on that desk there, love?"

She obeyed easily, leaving a panting Hermione before you to focus on. "Sweet girl... why don't you cast a silencing and locking charm, will you?"

She nodded frantically, quickly pulling out her wand to do just that. Before she could, however, your mouth was on her neck, inducing a moan - more surprised than anything.

"S-Silencio," she stuttered, chest rising and falling fast as you slid the robe off her shoulders onto the floor.

You kissed her on the mouth then, her wand arm faltering as you muffled her groans, pulling off her jumper and top in one. Her wand clattered on the ground.

Next came her skirt and tights, ripped off her without a second thought, leaving her in black lacy underwear. You grinned. "Luna, honey, I'll need you to undress, too."

She nodded from the desk, immediately setting to work. You looked back at Hermione as she stared up at you, practically awaiting judgement. "Pretty girl," you cooed, "if only I had known you'd been hiding this under all those clothes." She blushed. Blue and purple spots were already taking form on her neck.

You cupped her breasts carefully, massaging them with the palms of your hands until you could see her hardened nipples through the fabric. You unclasped the lingerie, diving down to her cleavage, sucking and biting and eliciting guttural moans and whimpers from her. A distant whining came from the direction of the desk also.

"P-Please, mommy, I want more-"

"Mommy, huh? Interesting," you interrupted her. "And what exactly would that entail?"

She only whined, resulting in a shrewd pinch of her left nipple. "I- I, uh... down there..."

"Use your big girl words, darling."

"I- I want you to f-fuck me."

"That's more like it," you purred. "But you'll have to wait a moment."

Turning to Luna, you raised your wand, catching her off guard as charmed ropes snaked around her wrists and ankles, finally grasping the table legs with considerable force. She panted in anticipation.

"Bet you're wondering where I learned that trick," you cooed, but didn't elaborate as you led Hermione with a hand on the small of her back towards Luna, gently applying pressure to her shoulders until she caught on, sliding to her knees before her friend's bare cunt with wide eyes.

"I'm gonna need you to eat her out, kitten. Can you do that for mommy?" You tilted your head mockingly.

"I, I've never done that before," she stuttered, "but I'll try..." Her mouth collided with Luna's pussy, ass naturally drifting upwards as she elicited soft moans from the blonde, who writhed against her magical bindings with a flawlessly arched spine.

You rounded on Luna, licking your lips at the sight of her plush breasts and perked nipples. You touched her right with the tip of your wand experimentally, relishing her passionate gasps as its cold effect startled her. You continued for about a minute, maybe more, playing with irregular hot and cold touches all over her cleavage.

She was moaning and whining more and more, hips bucking up into Hermione's face more often than not.

You returned to Hermione, standing behind her calmly before running a finger up one thigh, then the other. She groaned into Luna, causing a chain reaction. The same finger roamed around her pussy, poking at her lips once or twice before venturing up to her ass, circling her other hole. She whined as you pushed into her carefully, curling and uncurling a few times before retracting again, leaving her pussy heaving, longing. "Such a good girl."

"Please," she whimpered, muffled by the Ravenclaw's folds. You wanted to tease her, but couldn't find it in you to delay.

"You're so wet for me, it's adorable." Two of your fingers rubbed sidelong up her cunt, slowly edging deeper and deeper until you were inside her, searching for her g-spot, finding it, pounding against it so that she had to come away from Luna to breathe, whine, moan. The sinful sounds were so high they sounded fake, but the movements of her needy hips proved otherwise.

"Quiet, now, kitten," you mocked, only thrusting into her harder as Luna groaned from afar. "Or do you need more?"

She nodded quickly, but you weren't going to let her get away so easily.

"I need to hear you say it. C'mon, use that pretty voice of yours."

"I need more," she whimpered, hardly able to catch a breath long enough to speak. You grinned, groaning a guttural 'good girl' that sent Hermione over the edge. Her juices flowed freely over your fingers, but you didn't stop, merely slowing down a second before adding another finger, then another, so that the majority of your hand thrust in and out of her with every frantic intake of breath.

"You ready?" you purred, smiling as she nodded. The remaining thumb glided into her, your entire fist now hitting all the right places in her cunt.

"Oh, Merlyn, please-"

She slumped forwards into Luna's pussy, sending vibrations through the blonde girl. With one guttural moan, clenching around nothing, she came again, writhing in her bindings as Hermione's face remained attached to her slick, almost sliding away at any given time, swaying back and forth with every push of your joined digits.

You could feel her gripping your hand harder and harder, threatening to spill, to arrive-

You drew your fist out, eliciting a pathetic whine from the Gryffindor. "Good girl," you said softly, presenting your hand to her face, which she eagerly licked clean of her own juices. "I'm gonna need you to..." You leaned in close, whispering in her ear so that Luna could only strain to hear you. Hermione nodded eagerly, still breathing hard.

You held up your wand, closing your eyes in concentration to remember some of the charms your cousin (oh, the irony) had showed you a while ago. Finally, pointing down, you muttered the words, watching as an unfamiliar bulge formed in your pants. You pulled the trousers down, letting it spring up, ignoring the girls as you set to work again, finally managing to have the wand vibrate heavily in your hand.

When you turned back around, Hermione was obeying your first ask, tickling Luna all over her body as her already aroused cunt pulsated and clenched, her nipples going stiff. She jerked and spasmed on the very desk she had just before contemplated potions class.

You handed the brunette your buzzing wand, letting her place it on the Ravenclaw's clit. She shuddered, struggling to hold still. Your fingers ran over her middle, tracing the outline of her beautiful face and the roots of her silver hair. Thumbs gliding to the corners of her mouth where her head hung over the edge, gently prompting her to open up, meaningfully catching her eye. An endless string of whines and moans poured from her now that her lips were parted.

Slowly, she took your fake dick, gagging on it in a way that brought immense pleasure to you through this unreal sequence of nerves. Luna started sliding up and down it with those voluptuous lips, and before you knew it, it was you who was pushing down her throat again and again, the blonde giddy with stimulation and slight lack of air.

"You can come now, honey. Come from mommy fucking your face like the sweet girl you are," you said sweetly, and then she was gasping, her face better than any pornographic scenery, and then Hermione was whimpering at the sheer jealousy of another's orgasm, and you were so impossibly turned on that you couldn't stop yourself. Your own orgasm exploded in Luna's mouth, some leaking out onto her face as you pulled away, sorry you hadn't asked, but she looked so ecstatic you could have come again.

The angelic image; Luna, wise Luna, white flecks dripping down her cleavage and face, swallowing the same as she licked her perfect lips. Hair a mess, spread-eagle on the table where she would have to sit and learn the next day, mildly cross-eyed, pussy and breasts on full, parted display, a blunt portrait of pleasure.

You took the wand from Hermione, Luna sagging at the loss of stimulation. A simple flick and those gentle but stubborn ropes snaked back into the air, vanishing as their deed was done. "Why don't you get dressed, love? We'll go to my dorm and get comfortable," you suggested, but your grin was too curious to be innocent.

She reached for her wand on the neighboring desk among her discarded clothes, but you interrupted her actions. "Don't clean up here. Put your clothes on over it all." She glanced down at her dripping wet thighs, soaked pussy, thought of the cum on her face and cleavage - then smiled just as wickedly.

Your lips crashed against hers before she could proceed, however, removing her more obvious decor as they travelled to her chin, her cheeks, cleaning her up in a way so inherently harmless she laughed. You had always loved her laugh. "Go ahead."

You held out a hand to Hermione, who was resting on the stone floor, helping her up and sitting down on the next table before Luna. She intuitively sat down on your lap, groaning as she slipped onto your cock. She sat there, 'adjusting', as you both watched Luna get dressed.

"See her legs? All wet under her stockings, even as she'll walk through the castle. Think how many other people will see her like that, unaware of all the dirty things my girls have been up to," you murmur in her ear, earning a groan of frustration. She lifted herself up as if to fuck herself on your lap, but you pushed her back down again. "Don't tell me you still haven't had enough of being fucked, sweet girl? You still want more?"

She whimpered, bucking her hips against you as you rested your head on her shoulder carefully, kissing the side of her neck. Luna pulled up her skirt, awkwardly setting bra over wet skin.

"What would other students say, knowing you're so needy? That you and Luna both have drenched cunts and wanna be fucked? Have been fucked?"

Apparently movement wasn't necessary, because that was the moment Hermione squirted for the first time in her life.

"Good girl," you whispered one more time, one last shudder of approval, before lifting her off of you and charming away your helpful illusion.

She started getting dressed over her post-sex anatomy, managing to clasp on a bra and stockings. You were just buttoning up your trousers when the door creaked open. Hermione yelped, scurrying behind you automatically, Luna standing sagely, now fully dressed.

Harry and Ron stood paralyzed by the wooden door, staring. The former looked livid.

"How dare you? I thought you were my friends!" he yelled, glaring at Hermione and Luna in turn, noting the slick around the Gryffindor's face as well. "(Y/n) was mine! You knew I liked her, didn't you? How could you take her from me?"

"Oh, Harry," you sighed, effectively inaudible over his ongoing accusations and claims.

"Please, Harry," you said louder, making him stop, "I didn't realize. I'm sorry for hurting you. But I was never yours, or only as a friend. I'm sorry. But I can be with who I want, and that's nothing to take up with Hermione or Luna, either."

He was practically quivering with... what? Rage? Sadness? Frustration? Envy?

"Well, I think it's great, y'know," Ron intervened awkwardly. "The whole... being-with-you-want-thing. Real good. You should all be happy, is what I'm saying, I suppose. Although I do find that hard to say in the dungeons, but y'know. 'Is what it is."

He wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders, turning him around slowly. "C'mon, mate. Uh, he's sorry and all, I think is fair to say. Just outta sorts, is all."

Harry seemed unable to withstand his friend's kind tug, dragging his feet over the dark stone in the opposite direction.

Hermione emerged from behind you, hand clapped over her mouth. "I can't believe I forgot to do a locking spell."

"Maybe you've forgotten, but that wasn't entirely your fault."

"Anyway," Luna interrupted as the Gryffindor appeared to be searching her memory, "let's hope nothing will go out of its way to stand between us anymore. Not even our friends."

"We won't let them either way," Hermione added, smiling brightly.

"Good to know." You grinned. This detention was certainly worth it.

[lastoneout]

Every few months there's another "Should we bring back masking?" COVID article and I have to sit here frothing with ungodly rage wondering how tf anyone actually ever stopped. Like since March 2020 I have been having reoccurring nightmares about being stranded out in public without a mask, and the only thing that's changed is that now in the nightmares rather than people shunning me for lacking a mask everyone is acting like I'm crazy for desperately trying to find one, and I can't even talk to my therapist about this because SHE DOESN'T MASK EITHER.

I don't get it tbh. I really do not get how people stopped. I don't think I'll ever get it.

[sparklepocalypse]

I'm the Nick anon, I talked about the hate he got because that was the topic I wasn't trying to dismiss the hate Taylor gets, they both don't deserve the hate. The fandom doesn't realize that if Nick and Tzp friendship gets ruined is because of them, always putting them in competition, questioning their friendhisp, spreading rumors that they hate eachother and at the same time crossing the line in shipping them. Maybe the fandom should analyse their own actions instead of Nick and Tzp.

Oh, totally -- I didn't think you were trying to dismiss the hate directed toward Taylor. But given the really vile shit that's been filling my inbox from insane Taylor fans, I felt like I should bring up everyone's behavior in my reply.

And I mean, you mentioned folks shipping them. I'll readily admit to have written RPF in multiple fandoms -- but with the full understanding that it's fictional, and a caveat about that in the author's notes. If people honestly ship it, I mean, they can believe what they want, but maybe don't blast it at Taylor and Nick?

There are a lot of lines that were firmly established when I was last in fandom which seem to have been completely obliterated -- and not being garbage or genuinely insane to an actor/creator was one of them. I remember when a woman showed up to a con in a wedding dress convinced that Jensen Ackles was going to marry her, and the rest of the fandom shunned her so quickly -- now it seems like super parasocial behavior toward public figures is concerningly commonplace.

I would hate for fandom's behavior toward them to cause Taylor and/or Nick to start resenting their jobs or their fans, because they both seem to have a lot of passion for their work. Burnout would be awful for them (not to mention for us, if they're so burnt out by fan behavior that they phone in their performances in future roles).

[salempie]

Looking at some of your posts rn and I can definitely see the "Dogen and Elka being besties" thing actually, I think they should be friends

NO THE THING IS THEY ARE SO BESTIES LIKE

[Writing this after writing everything below it, sorry I kinda went on a tangent </3]

Okay so. I don't know how common knowledge the Li-Po doc is and i don't know how many people actually take it as 'canon unless proven otherwise' but I do. Elka's backstory is insanely fleshed out compared to the other campers (aside from Raz and Lili ofc) but the most important part of it to me (regarding Elka and Dogen's friendship) is the fact that her parent's sent her off to Whispering Rock basically because they didn't want to deal with her unusual, doomed fortunes. "Elka was sent to psychic summer camp immediately by her parents. Neither one of them seemed to want to hear what else she might say. So, like so many Dooms before her, Elka was banished." Dogen's is much shorter in the doc, consisting of one sentence: "Dogen’s family just didn’t know what to do with him." And I think Elka and Dogen would bond over that. Neither of their parents knew how/wanted to deal with them and their problematic powers and so they were shipped off to summer camp. Of course telling bad fortunes and blowing up peoples brains isn't the same, but two psychic children with relatively rare abilities cast out by everyone, even their own families...Idk! Then there's the fact that both come from (at least mildly) well known families in the psychic community (I choose to believe the Doom family name is at least somewhat recognized among older psychics considering a. Elka expects the other campers to know about the 'Doom precognition' already ("For one thing, what you've heard is true: The Doom family has has had the gift of future sight for hundreds of years.") and b. the Li-Po doc claims that the Dooms have always been in the public eye for their predictions ("The Dooms’ fortune has swung from celebrity to notorious and back again, all the way up until the time of Elka’s parents.")).

(My other personal hcs for Elka's home and social life also play into this but I wont make this post any longer than it already is. God I can ramble more than Vernon, I swear)

I think they could really have a lot in common if they got to know each other! And not just that, I think they just have really compatible socialization styles as well! Elka loves to talk, obviously, where as Dogen really seems to prefer staying quiet and just listening. I think they would have a whale of a time Elka talking her head off and Dogen just listening while they have brunch or something idk!

They're two outcasts, shunned for abilities they can't control and I really do like to believe that they would not only be life long friends, but value each others friendship heavily, even if from the outside it seems a bit one sided.

[maxiesweetzieluvzie]

ALTERHUMANZ PLZ SHARE UR OPINIONZ AND/OR HELP!!!!!

So I just literally rn found out what Alterhumanz are, n after reading up n finding out some stuff... I'm like.... extremely sure am an Alterhuman... specifically a Polymorph.... but I hab sum qvestionz 2 ask straight from Alterhumanz instead of just googlin!!!!!!!! Just 2 make sure, cuz I rlly dont wanna b disrespektful....

4 contxt: For a long while I've been identifyin as a Genderfluid male-leaning femboy who was an Xtreme kinner (as like a public identity!!!), but some yearz ago I also found out I rlly feel like more than dat!!! So by myself, where no one else saw, I would identify n act in a Godly manner cuz it felt so right 2 identify as a God!!! But then othr dayz I felt more like animalistic, most frequentz I can only describe as like a bunny ghost (timid yet curious lil guy!!), reaper dog (aka like an anthro dog who's mostly void n fluid, very dark n gloomy, so I came 2 call them da reaper dog!) And some form of magical fox!!! There's lotsa othrz as well, but those r da most frequent animalz alongside sum otherz... then therez also sentient objectz, fictional charactrz, THERE'S SO MUCH!!!!!! But somehow Godliness/Xtreme power/supernaturality in sum form is always present as well, Xcept 4 a veri few formz... Long story short, I feel like a buncha different beingz AND NONE OF EM FEEL HUMAN!!!!! N IT FEELZ GOOD!!!!!!! IT FEELZ SO RIGHT!!!!!! Earlier I just thought 2 myself "I'm just an actor, so I like 2 get in2 specific rolez", but now dat I know the terming n I know itz a thing it just rlly feelz right,,,,,,

SO HERE R MY ACTUAL QVESTIONZ, plz I rlly wanna know from actual Alterhumanz on what y'all think/know as individualz!!!!

1. Can an Alterhuman be a single person, as in one being rather than multiple people in one body? So the one person is all the different identities and not different people?

2. Is there a limit to Alterhuman (specifially Polymorph) identities? Can they be anything that feels right? ARE they everything that feels right?

3. How do people who aren't Alterhuman react to Alterhumans? And are you in particular Alterhuman privately or publically? I'd love to hear some experiences, if you'd be comfortable.

4. If I am a Polymorph, how accepting is the community online? I'd love to hear experiences on this as well.

5. How do Alterhumans with, for example, the same identity / multiple same identities get along? This is mostly to kind of clear it up for me!

6. Is it normal to illustrate your own different identities, tag posts depending on what identity posted it, list your identities on your profile, ect?

7. What is it like communicating with people when Alterhuman? (again, specifically Polymorph or otherwise multiple identities!)

8. What are some things I should know about Alterhumans before I am 100% ready to start being open about it? Because currently I am 100% sure I'm a Polymorph, but I just want to know just in case.

9. Is it normal to have a 'public identity' for real life stuff if you're not ready to or don't want to make that stuff public in real life for reason or another?

10. If being a single person Polymorph is possible, do you remain aware of each different identity's/form's actions once they change as a Polymorph?

11. Are there things that are frowned upon/hated in the community, other than the very basic things everyone should shun? (Racism, sexism, ect.) And are there things that are encouraged/loved more than usual in the community?

Last, and most important...

12. Will y'all have me in the community?

TYSM 4 readin thiz post.... plz answer any qvestionz u have answrz 2, I rlly would luv 2 hear it all n neex 2 hear it 4 reassurance as well... plz have a wonderful day, and thank u again!!!!!!!

At da end of da day my identity is mine alone, but I just dunt wanna disrespekt any1!!!!! So thiz is all 4 dat... tysm!!!!

[verishere]

For the 10 facts thing, how about Freya :3 I don't know enough about her

First, something I made recently for her: she's a weaver! She had always been known for her tapestries, and weaving is her Skill (a concept in world that i need to make a post about at some point).

Leading from that, before she and Liam confessed but both were already in love, she tried to make gifts for him: knowing he is a Nulilil, renowned for forgework and forgework was his craft, she tried to forge the gifts herself. Which went exactly as you'd expect, given that she has never before then lifted a hammer in a forge in her life (it took Liam, after they confessed, to make her a gift by weaving which also went exactly as you'd expect to tell her that no, he would appreciate a gift she is actually good at making, rather than something he'd make for himself).

She designed pretty much every avian creature. Very few were designed by her siblings, most she created both the aesthetics and the functional design for.

Given her skill now at understanding flight, aerodynamics, etc, the fact that every (true) aeternal has fully functioning wings that allow them to fly about twice as fast as you could sprint, as well as hover perfectly still at will, all while moving relatively slowly (imagine angelic wings) pisses her off to no end, despite that she helped to create that as well. Those things don't follow aerodynamics, dammit! Too late Freya, you and your siblings made this bed, now lie in it.

I don't think I've ever described her physical appearance? This fact will just be as well as I can describing how she typically looks. First, my pfp is her as well as can be made in the picrew in my bio. She typically wears some kind of fruit, berry, etc. as earrings (not plastic, literally the plant). Her hair is straight and smooth, typically cut to her shoulder blades. She wears dresses usually, that either go down to her ankles or knees, and are either sleeveless or sleeves that stop at the elbows. Her hair is almost never adorned with anything more than braids, if that. Usually she let's it flow free. She is 5'9", or 175 cm. She never wears high heels, usually wearing open toed slip on black shoes. She wears anklets and bracelets almost all the time, though no rings. She does wear a necklace at all times, one Liam forged, made from golden chain with a crystal at the end of it, inside which contains the last of the True Sun's light, trapped within in stasis (yes its littereraly just a silmaril but less bright and no one swore a death oath over it please don't sue me).

She once did try to wear high heels, but she did so for the first time in Blonicku (where high-heeled shoes were invented) before going out in public, and fell because she didn't know how to wear them. She has since always fucking hated them, irrationally making up excuses to never try to wear them again despite that the first time she seemed eager to try them and complimented Nrolin on hers. Apparently, they are now pointless and ugly performances.

She is a light reader, shunning the stereotype that all Aeternals are book worms with massive personal libraries (like her husband). An average year sees her reading at most five books, but usually three on average. She hardly writes at all.

I have a meter for all my characters over how much of a prankster they are. From 1 to 10, or Lopunil to Aegir for better words, all of my characters fall somewhere on this. Freyas a three. She hardly ever plans out tricks on anyone, mostly just teasing people in the moment. Her greatest trick (with planning) was making a song where every word began with a specific letter, all of which spelled out (translated) "What rank should he deserve, the land slug that he is? Why do I sing his compliments? He is a rude fool." The song was complimentary of this one lord of the Mark who hadn't done anything illegal so he got to keep the mark but that all her family hated for how uptight he is, yet they couldn't publically say that without looking bad.

As hinted before, singing and songwriting is one of her talents, which she was almost going to choose as her Skill instead of weaving. When Nerquam chose singing as her Skill she chose weaving.

In the first blessed years, her relationship with all the Elders was more like a mentor and teacher, not parent, despite how the Elders were created. Eventually she was friends with many of them. It was till the battle of the sun was over and she was traveling with Liam to Blonicku that she learned of the concept of a monarch, which had apparently been based on her and her siblings. She will always consider the typically idea of a monarch a useless performance and actively refuses to behave like a queen, despite that she is one of the two highest queens in the world. Granted, her refusal to behave like that is something all her siblings have in common, save Nirum but he doesn't count.

[tremendouskoalachild]

Mralisola recruitment post

(no spoilers beyong the basic setup)

What is Mralisola?

Mralisola is the ship name for Zeen Mrala and Lula Talisola, major characters in the first phase of the Star Wars: The High Republic publishing initiative – specifically the works of one of its story architects, Daniel José Older. These include especially the comic line The High Republic Adventures (2021), some of its one-shot issues, and the young adult novel Midnight Horizon, as well as appearances in the manga The Edge of Balance and the middle grade novel Race to Crashpoint Tower. Phase Three of THR is starting this Fall, with the first issue of the comic's 2023 run releasing in December.

Who are Zeen and Lula?

Two Force-sensitive teenage girls who have a huge impact on each other’s lives. Lula is one of a group of young Jedi who come to help Zeen’s community during a disaster. Zeen has been raised to shun and hide her Force-sensitivity but is forced (heh) to reveal it in a moment of crisis. Being outcast from the commune that raised her, she joins the Jedi kids and becomes their close friend and ally, though she doesn’t join the Order herself.

Where does the shipping come in?

The girls are strongly paralleled from their very introduction and click immediately upon meeting. While the Padawan squad are all good friends, Zeen and Lula are especially close and are almost always seen together. Their growing feelings for each other are hinted at many times throughout the comic and acknowledged in their inner monologues.

Will the ship become canon?

It will be the star wars queerbait if not. Seriously.

But canon gays? In my Star Wars?

It’s more likely than you think! Look at this excellent guide to canon wlw by @chipthekeeper or the lineup of the ongoing @queer-starwars-bracket, which featured both of our girls. The High Republic is probably the most queer-friendly part of the franchise.

Yeah but. Lula is a Jedi. How does that work?

Non-spoilery answer is that there is definitely precedent for her situation in THR media and it will be interesting to see the characters grapple with it. The High Republic has many things to say about the Jedi Order and its view on relationships, and I believe Zeen and Lula are a major part of that theme, whichever way their story resolves.

Gimme some more reasons to get invested.

Girl friends to girlfriends. Complementary blue/pink color palette. The conflict of love and duty. Battle couple. Meditation couple (is that a thing? it should be). The theme of living as your true self in a loving found family. Pining. Helping your gf deal with the demons of her past. Teen sapphics, in Star Wars.

Okay, you got me! What do I need to read?

Definitely The High Republic Adventures 2021 (13 comic issues). If you get really into the setting you will probably enjoy the whole High Republic series, which has plenty of reading orders but is perfectly safe in publication order, such as on wookieepedia here.

While there are many crossovers between storylines, Daniel José Older's characters are almost completely contained to his own works, so for a mralisola-only reading spree you can just go through the list of Phase I picking out his works. (The comic miniseries Trail of Shadows and the manga volumes are skippable in that case, though you'll miss a cameo in the second manga volume.)

Whatever books and comics you end up reading, don't skip the Midnight Horizon novel, and read Starlight Coda (contained in Free Comic Book Day 2023, and included in the Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures — The Complete Phase 1 trade paperback) at the very end.

[sincerely-sofie]

(For context, these three posts came before I received this ask, and might help if what I say here is confusing)

Hey, thanks for the request for clarification! I understand that it must have been nerve-wracking to send. I hope answering a screenshot of your initial ask works? I wasn't sure how to structure the post otherwise, as I'm answering your question and the context it provides specifically, and I figured if one person was wondering, more folks likely felt the same and a public response was better. That, and I don't know how private anonymous answers work either, and wasn't sure if you would be able to see a response. I really hope this is okay. My tech illiteracy and unfamiliarity with Tumblr etiquette strikes again. 

Yes, I believe marriage is ordained by God for use between a man and a woman, and that biological sex is an important part of a person's eternal identity. Speaking as someone who experiences some pretty gnarly gender dysphoria, the latter is an important thing for me, as it's brought me a lot of comfort when I'm having bad mental health days. The idea that I don't have to worry about passing as X or Y because I'm already Z and always will be is, personally, very reassuring to me! But I understand that this is a distressing idea for those who don't come from my perspective. This is where my testimony of people's agency is so important.

You're free (or ought to be free, because unfortunately not all places are as open to individual agency as they should be) to live and believe as you choose. You don't need to believe what I believe, and if you find my beliefs distressing, you are fully within your rights to distance yourself from me and people who believe like I do. I hope you don't feel a need to, but I understand if you do, and ask that you look out for your mental health with whatever choice you make. 

I don't believe in shunning people, and I don't believe in being unkind to anyone. If you have a significant other of the same sex, I'll ask to be introduced and say hello, just like I hope you'll extend that same kindness to me if I were in a relationship of my own. If you're trans, I'll respect your pronouns and chosen name, just like I hope you'll respect my identifying with my biological sex despite my dysphoria! Everyone is deserving of compassion and respect. A simple disagreement on religious ideology doesn't change my opinion on that. 

I hope this answers your question well. I believe in what my church’s doctrine says, but I don't think I believe in a harmful way. I'm sorry if I came across that way before— that wasn't my intent, and I'll try to phrase things clearer next time!

[saa-na]

i had a fwb relationship with my then best friend for the better part of highschool. his attitude was "friends just fuck sometimes", but despite this attitude he insisted we keep it secret because he knew it would reflect badly on him if it was public knowledge that he was sleeping with pretty much all of the girls in our group.

i of course fell for him and i told him i thought we should try dating. i think i just wanted to keep doing what we were doing but be public about it. he said he didn't like getting ultimatums and disappeared entirely out of my life, ripping my friendgroup in half. i had friends who said they couldn't hang out with me because it was "his week", as if we had been divorced.

no one knew we'd been sleeping together so my reaction seemed over measured and i was shunned for acting hysterical. i started having panic attacks daily and almost jumped off a balcony off a bottle of wine, which was definitely an over measured reaction but i was just 16. i was going to climb on the ledge and let fate decide if i fall but decided against it when i was too drunk to climb on and thought that i don't want anyone to think i'm killing myself for a boy. really i just felt so disliked and thought everyone believed i was out of my mind.

when we made up we started sleeping together again, which displays my lack of self worth at the time. once i met my now boyfriend we broke it off but he said "maybe we could have a threeway in a few years." he acted like i'd dumped him for months, which was funny because he'd insisted we weren't in a relationship. i completely cut off our friendship when my girlfriends told me he'd told them that he thought we'd always be friends because we'd done every awful thing imaginable to each other.

just thinking about this because my friend is going to see a play directed by someone i went to highschool with and asked if the director was a good guy and i said "well, he did call me a delusional crazy bitch." and i realized i'd never told them the full story, i'd just said i'd been broken hearted - not that the narrative at the time was that i was clinically insane.

[valyrfia]

I really like some of the takes and overall people sharing their opinions in a safe sort of way/space.

I also love how I can trace your point of view not only on lestappen topic but on shipping in general and rpf specifically.

I think sometimes people forget (maybe due to their age or inexperience) that Max and Charles are real life human beings with high stress level jobs and who are public personas as well. If people think about themselves as nuanced individuals they should think the same way about these two too.

Like don’t get me wrong I enjoy analyzing their interactions, I do read fanfiction and always reblog a good gifset or post but I also realize that what I spent my time on is not a true reflection of reality.

Thus I don’t expect them to be publicly smooching every race weekend on camera.

They are just guys doing their job, they seem to have some type of feelings towards each other and they might as well be aware of it but even if it is so we are not gonna know about it probably. Not while they are active F1 drivers at least. And honestly? We are not supposed to know about it. It’s called private life for a reason.

So yeah I’m kinda glad to know that there are other tumblr users with similar opinions on sexuality, personal stuff and shipping and I hope the majority of the fanbase is sharing them.

First of all let me just say this is one of the kindest asks I've gotten, thank you so much <3 I love that you feel I'm curating a safe space for everyone involved

But yeah, I'm an old hat at rpf so I'm pretty good at the cognitive dissonance required to distinguish between the Max and Charles the super famous F1 drivers and the Max and Charles that we cackle about here, which is why I'm pretty straightforward about the fact that I don't like talking about their irl partners or speculating on their sexualities. It does take practice, but I think it's a really vital skill to have if we're going to talk about them. I've been involved with 3 or 4 rpf ships in my time and they get sour quickly unless we explicitly set some boundaries for ourselves.

Also let me play devil's advocate for a moment, let's say either of them are anything not straight. Imagine how absolutely terrifying that is, in an extremely high-stress sport that's had no high-profile non-straight people that competes in countries where being gay can get you killed by law. A grand majority of the fans would change the way they see you, probably some of the higher ups would too. Tabloids would hound you relentlessly and it's likely some people or their families in your circle would shun you. There is no way you would even think about the possibility of being openly queer in an environment like that. Whatever their sexualities are is their own private business, which is why I explicitly refuse to speculate. It's important to distinguish feelings from sexuality here. You can speculate on someone's feelings without speculating on their sexuality or how they identify.

That being said, fic plays by different rules (apart from the partners bit). I think fic can use these characters of Max and Charles to explore some really interesting theses on sexuality and how it would fit into the sport. It's still important to keep in mind that these aren't the Max and Charles that exist here in the real world though, they're characters based off of them.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

With Now and Then bringing out mixed reactions it’s had me thinking about how Paul’s handled John’s death and their Beatles legacy. He seems to be admired for the most part for the fondness and sentimentality he’s gone with while also being criticized as exploiting that sentimentality. It’s made me wonder how John might’ve carried on had Paul died. I understand it’s a bleak hypothetical and perhaps even offensive to some since I haven’t really seen discussions about it here but I really am curious. Would John have also promoted the Beatles legacy? I know he publicly shunned it as a thing of his past but I think there’s also been accounts of John privately collecting bootlegs and memorabilia. Would he have felt comfortable working on a song Paul left unfinished but given to him by Linda much in the same way Yoko did with Now and Then to Paul? I think John would’ve retreated once again into reclusiveness (a shame since he seemed very optimistic about the 80’s) but after a while I think he wouldn’t be able to help but take up the Beatles mantle just not sure how he would’ve gone about it.

My biggest LMAO about this is I one day want to write a fic about exactly this…

Without going into my specific planned plot (which mainly takes place in the 80s anyways), I think what should be kept in mind re:Paul's presentation of his and John's relationship, is that for the first ten years after John's death, Paul had a very different strategy. He only really started playing up the nostalgia of the Beatles in the 90s, with his concert tours and Anthology and, in my opinion, it was very much a reaction to him dealing with having been discarded as a musical has-been during the second half of the 80s and him deciding to grab the reins of the narrative surrounding him and John, which had been damaged by Jean Jacket "He didn't care about McCartney!"-types and by Goldman-type authors who over-villainized John, both to the point of rendering John's image unrecognizable to Paul. Plus, I think his continued insistence on emphasizing John's softer side is partially a reaction to the strong push-back against John that's picked up a lot in the past decade.

My point here being, how John would have dealt with all of this to me also depends on the public narrative that would have formed. In a way it's hard to imagine John getting sentimental and publicly grieving the way Paul does – on the other hand, this would have been equally hard to imagine (perhaps even harder to imagine) with 1980 Paul, who at the time was not in the habit of getting emotional during interviews at all! What I'm less sure of is how much it would matter to John what other people thought he thought about the Beatles – because I don't think his public indifference to his past would have been received well, in a scenario where Paul had recently been killed. Whether John would feel comfortable completing a Paul song is interesting; in a way, I'd imagine he'd be less keen on it, just based on his personality, but he was very proud of the Paul songs he helped finish off (like Michelle and We Can Work It Out) so that might embolden him to try. It would also probably depend which songs he had at his disposal, because I'd say he was pickier about music than Paul is.

I also think a very relevant factor in how Paul has behaved with respect to John's legacy was due to how Yoko behaved – so, in turn, I think a lot of this would depend on Linda. (which is a big point of the fic I'm planning lol – stay tuned for my extra long take on this dropping at..... some point.)

[halliescomut]

My Beautiful Man and the Plight of Celebrity....

I've been watching My Beautiful Man, and while it's kind of not for me as far as the romance aspect, at least in the first 2 seasons. The movie I actually enjoyed quite a bit, likely because my issue with the series was the CONSTANT misunderstanding between Kiyoi and Hira. I've very much enjoyed the films commentary on celebrity and fan culture. Once we get into season two and the film, Kiyoi is now like a full-fledged celebrity, and we are also given insight into Anna, his colleague and coworker.

We see sort of the struggle between following artistic passions versus what will raise an actor's status with Kiyoi auditioning for stage roles, while his manager encourages him to pursue TV dramas. I think it's easy to forget sometimes that actors come into these careers for love of the art and not in the pursuit of fame or fortune. Which I think is a conversation that doesn't often happen. Even if you are well-versed or aware in audtioning politics and all of that, it's not always as simple as it seems to get the roles that you want, especially as a newer actor like Kiyoi, talent aside. And many management agencies focus more on public perception and popularity rather than an actors skill or talent.

The 'fandom' problem that we've seen so often in real life is shown here as well, with fans being on set, showing up on location and being disruptive. It's nothing as extreme as we may have seen in real life, but it very actively reminds me of fans showing up at airports and being invasive and disruptive in those spaces. We've sadly seen an unfortunate level of these situations happening and moving beyond being simply overwhelming and intrusive to 'fans' putting hands on people, which is not okay. And while there are occasions where fans are invited, some companies announce their departure and even set up an area for fans to say goodbye, we've seen things happen when actors are travelling for personal vacations, and just essentially are off the clock and should not be disturbed. (Also, I'm clearly not talking about those that just happen to run into these people, I'm talking about those that are purposely turning up places they know they will be.) It's a conversation that's been addressed by many in fandom, but I've not seen much in the way of real change, likely because those who are doing these things don't feel they're doing anything wrong (What? I can't be in a public place?) or simply don't care (I'm allowed to because I know them and love them).

And the unfortunate thing that is actively touched on in the show is the lack of agency that celebrities really have when it comes to fandoms. When there's fan backlash over dating rumors, it's generally not allowable for a celebrity to respond "It's not your business, fuck off." When fans cross boundaries it's difficult for celebrities to respond without risking alienating fans. In some cases you will have people who are at a level where they don't have as much concern for reprise, from either fans or management, like Jung Kook's response to people sending food to his residence. He has a level of influence that brings him more autonomy than newer idols or celebrities would have. On that same note, when 'fans' met Mile and Apo at the airport (while they were traveling for personal and not professional reasons) and put their hands on them, he could not respond as many people would ("What the fuck is wrong with you??"), but instead had to simply smile and play along. And there's a difference in some ways, since in one case you are face to face versus over a livestream, but it's still addressing boundary crossing.

But moving to the more extreme, what I would call sasaeng or stalker level of everything shown through the movie. We first encounter the fans of Kiyoi and Anna and they're presented as mostly cool if a little extreme. The Kiyoi-fans shunning of Hira is more in relation to him behaving so different from how they do, and it's honestly not unreasonable for Hira to gain the nickname 'suspicious man'. But in general it's an amiable atmosphere. The introduction of Anna's fan is where things really do become suspicious and more than a little creepy. I posted a little throw away here about how I specifically found it disturbing that he kept describing Anna as 'pure'. And the reason I found it so off-putting is because that type of language speaks to an unhealthy level of obsession and is an indicator that his 'affection' for her has requirements. But these are things that she has no awareness of. He has placed her on a pedestal in his own mind, and should she fall it sets up a situation where she could be in real danger. Because of the dating rumors that begin to go around her 'purity' comes into question and he instead turns his wrath to Kiyoi as the one who 'defiled' her in his mind. And hilarity aside of him tying him up with red ribbon tied in bows instead of knots, he presents a very real physical threat, and because of his obsession would not see himself as the villain at all because he is simply defending Anna.

Now, in the story we know that the villain will be vanquished and that our intrepid Hira will get his happily ever after with Kiyoi, because this is a love story and that's part of the agreement. But real life situations have existed for as long as specifically visual media have existed of fans going too far and causing harm to the 'objects of their affection'. The point that always comes to mind for me because of my age is Selena, who died at the hands of not just a fan, but someone she truly thought was a friend and that she trusted. It's these stories that lead me to be extremely nervous to see fans approaching celebrities when they shouldn't be. The video of the recent encounter involving Jackson Wang when he was out with his parents for dinner literally makes my blood run cold because that is a person that got close enough to cause real physical harm if that was their goal. It seemingly wasn't, but we can't ever know people's intentions. And it becomes incredibly unfortunate for any type of fan because as the few begin to violate these boundaries set by both society and these celebrities, they will have to institute more and more safeguards for their own privacy and wellbeing. It's pretty well known that Jackson is an incredibly friendly guy and often happy to chat with fans that he encounters in public when he has the time, but these types of intrusions when he's clearly on private time are probably going to put an end to that.

But I was particularly impressed with how these different aspects of celebrity were handled in the film. It's made clear that the fans are a consideration, but not always a priority (which is as it should be) and that can be possible to have a happy medium. While we don't truly get to see fan reaction for the reveal of Anna and Hiriya, we do have the privilege of both of them coming to the realization that they don't have to make their 'celebrity' the center of their world, and also that they don't have to sacrifice their careers in order to be with the one they love. Now it's of course very much different for them as a straight couple than it would potentially be for Kiyoi and Hira, but that's not quite as much a of a concern for them. To me it looks like all they might want is to be able to be known or out to the select few around them, not to the whole world. Hira doesn't want to announce to the world that he loves Kiyoi, he simply wants to stand next to him when he can. Personally I would predict that their future holds something more akin to Hira accompanying Kiyoi to private industry get-togethers and not to public appearances. People would know of their professional relationship, but not have interest in their private one. Also realistically, because of his age here, it would be quite a while before we would see fans or media speculate or comment on Kiyoi's single status, meaning that if they did ever choose to make their relationship known they would be very comfortable and stable in that relationship.

IDK, this was quite the ramble, I don't know how interesting anyone will find it, but if you read this far I appreciate it.

I wish I had enjoyed the show more, but sometimes it's just not your bag, but I will say that overall it's a very well made and well acted drama, and I very much appreciate the time and effort that went into it. Please enjoy this picture of Riku and Kusei being cutie patooties

[rolandrockover]

Strange Parasites Dying in the Rain

For a certain song from Carnival of Souls (1997), a crazy idea has been buzzing through my admittedly somewhat effervescent mind for quite some time, and I think it's about time I let it loose on you.

And it goes something like this:

Rain sounds as if Parasite is trying to carry the much too heavy Strange Ways, both from the '74 album Hotter Than Hell, on its shoulders, which are not really made for such heavy performances, and thus loses a lot of light-footedness.

That would be the imaginative version.

Of course, one could take a more sober approach to the whole thing and make it quite clear that all those responsible for the music were inspired to a very, very specific degree by Alice in Chains and their Rain When I Die (1992). Which shouldn't be too much of a surprise for fans of whatever generation, because Carnival of Souls was written and recorded in the 90s, and Kiss have always been able to adapt whatever zeitgeist (1) quite skillfully without ever losing too much of their own identity.

But the unfortunately still and often shunned Carnival of Souls still occupies a special position, which in my opinion and in this case is less due to Kiss than the general aversion of this particular group of people to the rock music of those dreadful 90s.

As you can imagine, the fact that Carnival of Souls has not exactly become a cheerful, light-hearted party album, but rather a collection of music that implies not only heavy guitars but equally heaviness of thought, is not really well received either.

But that should come as no surprise, because wealthy to rich rock stars in their mid-forties naturally don't ask themselves any existential questions, especially not in the midst of a consumer-oriented world of facade-ness, which fundamentally and from the outset negates any search for meaning, and makes bliss or even enlightenment seem about as easy as a drunk blind man trying to find his way out of a maze right next to a noisy building site.

This would be of course inauthentic, and therefore completely unacceptable, and almost certainly a whole lot more ludicrous than grown men in their mid-40s who smear inches of make-up on their faces and then pretend to be animals, aliens or monsters or the like in public, and then sing about their genitals for the most part. And after all, credibility is everything.

So, which version do you prefer?

Side Note:

(1) Flavor of the day would also be a wonderful description.

Rain (1997)

Rain When I Die (1992)

Parasite (1974)

Strange Ways (1974)

[fereldanwench]

okay so

i guess i'm doing this

i've avoided talking too publicly about any of this because it's... messy and uncomfortable for me, and probably other people, too. i also don't want to perpetuate drama and i was hoping i could just move on, but i don't think i can without unburdening myself a little here and i need to be witnessed, lmao.

i think this fandom also has a culture of whispering and gossiping in discord servers and dms rather than addressing anything head-on, and breaking that norm is also uncomfortable.

but the thing is, even if no one explicitly shares anything, that energy still obviously influences more public spaces and how we interact with each other. it breeds a lot of paranoia and mistrust, i think, even for people who aren't predisposed to dealing with issues like social anxiety or RSD. but given how many of us do actually deal with those things, it makes it even worse.

(although on the flipside, i think there are also plenty of conflicts that should be resolved privately and sometimes going full salted-earth publicly is also the wrong move, but I DIGRESS)

and look, yes, i am bad in this regard, too. i got sucked into this shit with everyone else, and i fuckin' hate it. i hate how much inconsequential knowledge i have rotting inside my already very overloaded brain about who's besties and who blocked whomst and WHATEVER THE FUCK I DO NOT FUCKING CARE

i didn't get involved in this shit in high school, i certainly don't need to be getting involved in it now

having said all that, here's some internal fandom conflict i've been dealing with on and off since january of this year.

about a week after lizzie's shutdown, i did notice that people i thought i was cool with were seemingly no longer cool with me. it was also happened not too long after i made the how-to fandom guide that i realized missed the mark for some folks, so i was like, well, maybe it was just that.

but to be completely honest, even if it was just that, that still kinda sucked too. although i agreed with the feedback that i should have taken a different approach to some areas in that guide and been more sympathetic to other sensitivities for creators in the fandom, my heart was in the right place. intent doesn't override impact, of course, but intent should still count for something, i think.

and i'm not asking for sympathy, i don't want or need it, but i do just want to share where i was mentally at the time to set the stage for later anxieties: no one likes getting yelled at for doing what they thought was a good thing.

but yanno, also, again to be fully transparent, i did feel like some folks were projecting their insecurities onto some sections and were just taking an uncharitable read on it as a result. i think a handful of people just didn't read it at all and wanted to revel in some righteous indignation, an impulse i unfortunately also understand too well so i can't judge too harshly there. sometimes you just see a phrase that just gets under your skin and nothing else said before or after that matters. i know. I've been there. but it is still kind of unfair to the person on the receiving end.

but i tried to walk away from that situation with humility and understanding and as a lesson to be more thoughtful in the future. i also had enough people say that it was helpful for me to feel like ultimately was a net positive, and i felt like everyone was moving past it.

so a few weeks later, after lizzie's had shut down under INCREDIBLY ABRUPT AND CONFUSING CIRCUMSTANCES TO ME, and i noticed i was being seemingly shunned or even blocked by folks i was like...

are people mad at me again for the how-to-fandom post?

or, because i am publicly friends with some prominent members of lizzies who have been accused of bullying and other bad things, that i am guilty by association?

at the time, i actually considered making some sort of public statement, but i took a step back, and i told myself "no, you're just still dealing with some lingering anxieties about The Fandom Post and you're extra sensitive and inclined to some paranoia right now. you were mostly active in the 3 months in lizzie's before it shut down. you don't have a strong association with the server. that's silly. and making a post like that will probably just make things worse because people will assume a guilty conscience is an admission of wrongdoing in and of itself."

(and i do have a guilty conscience, but i was raised catholic, my natural state is to assume i did something wrong even if i quantifiably didn't, lmao.)

but i would still catch little comments here and there, notice passive-aggressive tags on someone's post, or even just feel a vibe that kept me thinking... maybe i actually am accused of doing something.

so when That Blog started up (and yes i hate myself for being enthralled by it and i just blocked it because i know my curious monkey brain will continue leading me to the dark side if i don't), and i saw that i was explicitly accused of being a part of some inner cabal of 30-year-old women who were bullying everyone in lizzie's, i was like OH okay. so it wasn't paranoia, i was right. being friends with a few people who have been accused of wrongdoing and i guess... winning a photomode contest once was enough for some people to assume that i was one of the big baddies in the server? cool.

but the other big reason i didn't want to say anything publicly at the time was the two incidents that i was aware of did not involve me at all. i literally just did not do anything. and it wasn't my place then nor is it my place now to weigh in on other of those, especially in a public setting. i don't even want to say anything beyond this, really. i wasn't involved in any capacity, and i don't want to be involved. they're just not my conflicts.

and i know some people will take that stance in and of itself as being complicit or whatever, and that's your perogative, but i just don't feel right about inserting myself in a situation that never involved me. and i certainly don't want to drag anyone, friend or otherwise, into anything when they're probably trying to work past it in their own ways, too.

i'm also not even that pressed about people deciding they don't "trust" me or whatever for being friends (or just being friendly with--some of the people I'm accused of conspiring with i don't even know that well) with people they don't like. I'm sometimes wary of people who are friends with people i don't vibe with, too. i get it. so if you want to label me as guilty by association, knock your socks off. but just know that within the context of The Lizzie's Situation, that is the extent of my trangressions.

and outside of The Lizzie's Situation, the only two things i can think of that i did were 1) foot-in-mouth guide as addressed up there, which i really think is more of a miscommunication than an actual Bad Thing and 2) acting like an asshole in another server to someone because i was mad about how they treated my friends, which was still the wrong way to handle those feelings, and I apologized for the best way i can under the circumstances.

i genuinely cannot think of anything else I've done to cause harm to anyone in this fandom. even with people i don't like, i still don't want to hurt them. i just don't want to interact with them. if there is something else i did and you want to talk to me about it, i am open to hearing about that and doing what i can to alleviate that hurt (if it's possible, i know sometimes it's not) and making the effort to not do that again in the future.

i know i can't do anything about people who are already convinced that i am the devil, but i don't think i could really accept that and move on without at least getting my side out there. so if you read this, thank you.

that said, i do think i need to disconnect for a while so if anyone reaches out one way or the other, I'm taking the day off from social media, lol. maybe the weekend, idk, we'll see.

but yeah. that's it. thanks. 💙