#i don't think that i have big brain but thank you

[call-sign-shark]

Brummie, I'm sorry for the delay I was convinced I replied! Also I'm sorry for not having caught up with your new series yet but I can't read anything as long as I don't get the next fucking chapter of HYE out. It eats my brain and frustrates me.

Anyway, your comment was insanely pleasing -- I loved your insight about the whole baby situation, even more when considering the fact that you're a mom so you feel/know it better than anyone else. She was definitely not ready to share the news of her baby: not only was she not ready but she was seriously unhappy about the timing of the pregnancy, which kept her from enjoying the news. She's not mad per se but she cannot find the strength to rejoice nor think about it in a positive light because all she can think about is how weak, how vulnerable she is. With that being said, it doesn't mean that she hates the kid and I was really afraid that it would diminish the feelings I try to convey in the magic scene. As you said, this is probably the most difficult choice a woman can make in her life: your love or your baby. Also, I didn't want to describe it in a too gruesome way but the psychological as well as physical pain is unbearable. It's as if she felt her baby's life getting drained as she tried to save Arthur :'(

About Tommy.... Aaah, I feel like he's a big theme of HYE alongside Arthur, obviously. There is definitely something extremely toxic in the way he behaves with her and you'll see it more in the next chapter. If each interaction, even the nicest ones, makes your skin crawl then it means I did my job pretty well. 😬 I don't know if he will learn to respect her boundaries but at least we have seen him getting pretty soft when she really needs him (John's death, now Arthur) even if it's temporary. Tommy loves being complicated in every story ay?🙄

Thank you so much for still reading my series and for always being there. You're fantastic, honey. 🖤

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x You

Summary: It was supposed to be an entertaining evening. Boxing fights, booze and party. It wasn't supposed to be one of the worst days of your life. || Featuring Tommy Shelby x Reader

Words: 4.5k

TW: angst+++, alteration of canon events, canonical violence, depictions of slaughter and body horror, main character death, Reader's husband dying, suicidal thoughts, graphic murder. Parts in bold are direct quotes from the show. Parts in Italics are direct quotes from preceding chapters. Also, Tommy will take more space in the next chapters.

Notes:

✞ Shorter chapter because it's extremely violent and angsty. Also, I'm super rusty so I tried to write it in a more direct style so it's prolly less poetic and beautiful.

✞ This is chapter 16 of the Arthur Shelby x You series Heaven in Your Eyes. Each chapter can be read as stand-alones but reading the whole series will make the experience far more intense.

PREVIOUS || Masterlist || NEXT PART

The extraordinary general meeting of the Shelby Ladies Club.

This is what Polly called this unexpected little meeting in the bathroom right in the middle of the rigged fight happening a few rooms away. When you entered the lavatory with Ada complaining about the sparring between Goliath and Bonnie, Aunt Pol was taking a cigarette from the silver case she was holding while Lizzie was fixing her hair.

“I love your messy bun, Heaven.” Lizzie complimented when she saw your reflection in the mirror she was using.

“Thank you Liz. Ada scolded me and decided that it would be a better hairstyle for tonight.”

“You never style your hair except for braids and it’s a fucking shame considering how beautiful and long your white mane is.” The young Shelby sister insisted.

“If you say so,” You snorted, amused, “What are you doing here? Plotting and scheming? Leave these for Thomas.” You smirked, sitting on the edge of a sink with movements as nimble as a cat. Your little cutting remark had the expected effect: the three girls laughed with sincerity, somewhat amused by the beef between you and the family’s boss. They had eventually learned that nothing could ever ease the tension between the two of you, so laughing about the matter was the only thing they could do. A part of you couldn’t help but think that they wouldn’t find it that amusing anymore if they knew the unhealthy turn your mutual hatred had taken.

What did you feel when we kissed? A shiver ran down your spine as you heard Tommy’s husky voice, as charming as venomous, whispering in your ear. It might only have been a memory, but you could almost feel his hot whisky breath brushing your skin.

“Heaven has some news.” Polly’s voice resounded in the bathroom, snatching you from your thoughts.

“Me?” You asked, batting your bambi lashes in incomprehension before the understanding of the situation slapped you right in the face.

“Well, tell her. Now! While the men are screaming for blood.”  Polly sneaked a cigarette between her thin, red lips. 

Your blood momentarily froze in your pale veins for this unexpected pregnancy wasn’t something you wanted to talk about. For sure Aunt Pol didn’t mean to do harm, but the surrounding chaos and your last encounter with Luca Changretta seriously eroded your wish to have a baby. The baby who made you so vulnerable during times that were anything but good. Moreover, a quick glance at Lizzie’s sad and anxious eyes had been enough for you to understand that something was weighing on her shoulders. Something you had guessed for a few days. Something she needed to talk about more than you. The corner of your mouth turned up in a half-smile.

“Well, I discovered something about Lizzie but I think she should be the one making the announcement. Shouldn’t you, Lizzie?” You winked, replacing one of your long white strands of hair behind your pierced ear with a naive pout. Glitters of hope and gratefulness suddenly sparkled in the ocean blue of the secretary’s eyes to whom you replied with a discreet nod before grabbing Polly’s cigarette case.

“I’m up the duff. And it’s Tommy’s.”

You took a long drag on the cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke by your nostrils as the attention was now on Lizzie. Even though Ada almost choked on her sip of gin, she quickly showed interest in the tall woman’s pregnancy. The only one you didn’t fool was old and cunning Aunt Pol who gave you a brief “okay I get it” glance before turning back to Lizzie.

It’s a girl. Call her Ruby. Ruby Shelby. She’ll be a star in a Hollywood movie.

You watched the scene with a light smile floating upon your plump and glossy lips, satisfied by the outcome of your little trick as well as the surprising unconditional support Lizzie was receiving after years of being seen only through her job as a prostitute. Admittedly, the reason behind the little push you gave to Lizzie Stark was purely selfish, but you couldn’t deny the fact that you kind of liked the woman despite never really interacting with her. She got the attention, and you got peace. It was a win-win situation.

“Congratulations, Lizzie.” You said, your siren-like voice as soft as a lazy ocean.

“She’s a real Shelby lady now. Just like you, Devil.”  Polly’s smirk betrayed her amusement. You rolled your eyes teasingly before proudly showing your left hand and wiggling your small fingers to display the magnificent wedding ring Arthur had gifted you.

“What about you Hev? When are you planning to give us a little Arthur?” Ada suddenly asked, Lizzie's news had visibly rendered her sour mood better.

“I think one Arthur is enough for now, don’t you?” You got up from the sink and carefully smoothed the folds your revealing black dress, “Anyway. Ladies, let’s rejoin our gentlemen.”

“I guess the meeting is over.” Ada added with a little chuckle

Joining deeds to words, Polly gently hooked her arm with yours in a motherly gesture and guided you outside, where the crowd’s roars were echoing.

Laughs and cheers filled the room as Johnny Dog put on a show to get more men to bet on the winner of this fight. Swallowing a mouthful of gin, your seraphic traits turned into a wince at the burning sensation the alcohol left in your throat – that new batch was strong, indeed. The sweet taste that exploded on your tastebuds, when the tip of your rosy tongue licked your juicy lips, made you grin, or maybe it was the all-consuming smell of sweat and blood that lingered in the air. It might come off as surprising for other women, but you enjoyed watching fights. There was something brutal but so real about them. After all, humans were just animals wearing suits. Animals which, according to you, had barely learned to speak instead of growling.

Your lips pinched the cigarette as you took another drag you quickly blew, your eyes following blood spurting from Bonnie’s nose and splattering the ground. Although quieter than Polly, Lizzie, and Ada, who were laughing, screaming, and sometimes nudging you in excitement at each violent blow the Romani boy gave back to his opponent, you had a lot of fun. Until a peculiar but familiar feeling blossomed within.

It started with a chill creeping down your spine and ended up with light tremors shaking your frail silhouette. Instinctively, you raised your piercing gaze and searched for Arthur somewhere among the crowded rows of folded seats. Your usual calm demeanor faltered as you noticed that your husband seemed troubled by something, rapidly glancing from here and there, attempting to read the room for whatever reason. He didn’t even pay attention to you, far too busy observing the men that were around the boxing ring. Eventually, Arthur stood up and left, his steel blue eyes fixed on someone he followed through the depths of the building. Let me do my fucking job! That’s what he barked at Tommy, or at least what you thought you overheard.

You frowned as a strange sensation rippled through your mind – like a distant, haunting whisper of something looming, a threat. Nervously swallowing your saliva, your first reflex was looking at Tommy. You couldn’t place it, but the odd feeling gripped you tightly like an omen you couldn’t shake, warning you of an approaching storm. It seemed like little King Shelby shared your inner agitation though, for his mesmerizing turquoise eyes dived into yours with the same nervousness and incomprehension. Whatever the many reasons behind your hatred, you were definitely on the same wavelength at this very moment. The silent conversation, expressed through brief eyebrows and eye movements, was more or less the following:

-Where is he going?

-I don’t know. It’s prolly the booze and the pills.

-It’s not. I’ll check.

-Don’t fucking do that.

You stood up from your seat with a clenched jaw and, feeling the vibration of this bad omen quaking your soul itself, you nimbly snaked in and out through seats and followed Arthur’s steps. As was the case for your husband a few minutes ago, the dark corridor into which you rushed engulfed your ethereal silhouette like a hungry giant.

“Fuck.” Tommy mumbled, straightening on his seat and leaning forward, “Fuck.” He repeated, torn between his own doubts and his disdain for you. Nevertheless, if there was one thing he had learned since you joined the family was that your gut feelings were never wrong. You proved it several times, starting by foreseeing Charlie’s abduction. The dark-haired gangster sniffed and nervously rubbed his chin, his catlike eyes going back on forth between the corridor and the crowd. A few minutes later, Tommy finally left the fighting pit.

Something was definitely off.

Cautiously walking through the maze of dark hallways dimly lit by a bluish light, you tried to ignore the maddening beat of your heart that was drumming so loud you felt it hammering in your temples. You didn’t really know where you were heading, nor where Arthur went, but the more you moved forward, the more this unbearable feeling of dread and panic invaded you. Your aimless wandering came to an end when the strong and metallic smell of fresh blood and the atrocious sight that followed jumped at your face.

No.

Your heart nearly stopped when you saw him – your husband, slumped on the ground, blood soaking through the collar of his shirt as it gushed from the wound across his throat.

No!

Time seemed to slow down, and your heart seemed to stop as you took in the scene: the gun the Italian bastard was holding in his steady hand aimed at Arthur’s head.

Panic crashed over you like a tidal wave, washing away everything but the rage that had piled up within you during all these years. In that moment, something primal and destructive snapped inside of you. In a blur of rage and raw instinct, and with a guttural scream that seemed too inhumane to come from you, you launched yourself at the mafioso, who barely had the time to turn around. Another furious shriek escaped from your quivering lips, similar to the rabid screech of a wounded banshee, and with your fingers curled into claws, your sharp nails slashed across his face.  

“PUTTANA!” The man yelled and gasped, taken aback by your unleashed fury.

The mafioso fired with his gun in a desperate attempt to kill you but the brutal impact between your two bodies threw him off balance and the shot reached the wall instead of your brain. As his spine crashed against the tiled ground, Changretta’s henchman dropped the weapon. You gave it a brutal blow to make it slide away from him.

Another wave of insults followed as he realized that he struggled to overpower you. You were fighting like a cornered animal, wild and relentless. Your claws scratched him again and again, leaving raw and jagged lines of blood all over his face. The mafioso's strength was starting to falter as he realized that you weren’t just fighting to win; you were fighting to kill him, your body moved by the instinct of a bloodthirsty beast that refused to be caged.

"Stop it, you fucking bitch!" A scream of utter pain brutally tore the air as, completely out of your mind, you dug your thumbs into his skull, pushing harder and harder in an attempt to gouge his eyes. The Sicilian man produced a second sound so twisted that it seemed beyond anything a human throat could produce. The more you pushed with your thumbs, the more you felt his eyeball turning into a viscous pulp. The feeling of the moist and warm liquid on your fingers didn’t stop you. Nor the man’s wails of pure agony, with its pitch far too high and too broken.

“Ajùtami! Ajùtami!” He pleaded, his hands felt the ground in panic, searching for anything he could use to push you away from him. Anything to make you stop. Realizing that nothing was around him, not even the thread he used to attack Arthur, he managed to overcome the pain and gather his strength to grab your throat.

With your air squeezed, you wheezed and removed your fingers from his skull to claw his strong hands. “S-Stop!” Panic flooded you as your vision blurred, black spots dancing at the edges. The harder you fought, the harder he strangled you. Seriously lacking air, you clawed at his arms, desperate to breathe, but his grip was iron. Now you had to do something and do it quickly if you wanted to have a chance to save Arthur.

Your thoughts raced, frantic, until instinct took over.

I love your messy bun, Hev!

The judas stick – now you had a chance. With one quick movement, you brought your hand to your bun and your fingers fumbled for the sharp metal judas stick that was holding your hair in place. It came in handy. With a choked sound, you drove it upward and sunk the sharp edge of the stick into the man’s side.

One time.

Two times.

Three, four, five, six…

Side, chest, shoulder, face… 

Each impact was vicious and powerful, tearing through the flesh like butter and drilling into organs and bones with the sheer will of maiming your enemy. Hot blood splashed all over you and around, but you didn’t care. The only thing that made you stop stabbing him was when you felt the man’s grip loosen around your throat until his arms dropped on the red-smeared ground in a loud thud.

“Fuck!” You sucked in a sharp breath, your voice hoarse from being choked. However, you quickly got up from the corpse to run to your husband.  “Arthur!” You screamed, rushing to his side, your hands trembling as you knelt beside him – or rather as you dropped to your knees, your legs unable to support your weight anymore. Panic seized you even more violently as you saw Arthur's deep wound and the blood—too much blood.

“No, no, no… not like this,” You whispered, voice cracking. You couldn’t lose him, not here, not now. Never. Your fingers brushed over his chest and, in your deepest desperation, you looked for his pulse. A pulse you found, but which was becoming slower and fainter as seconds flew by. “Arthur! Please!” You started sobbing, tears streaming down your face and mixing with the fresh blood that was painting your skin in a disgusting shade of red. You had to face the truth: Arthur was dying. The damages were too serious and the bleeding too much… But you were a witch. The gift of healing was coursing through your veins. The only problem was that if you tried to save him by using your magic, you’d hurt the baby. After all, that was what happened when you tried to kill Luca Changretta with a heart attack.

The baby.

Your husband or the baby?

Your heart painfully raced in your chest. Your erratic breathing and your sore throat made you feel like you weren’t getting enough air.

 “I’d love to have kids with ye, eh. Little white-haired and blue-eyed us running barefoot in the forest… Little embodiments of our love brightening our life.” His voice was merely a whisper now for he was slowly falling asleep, “I’ve always wanted to be a dad… but thought I was too messed up for that.”

You could save him. You had to. Despite this torture of a dilemma and the harshness of the decision, nothing could change your mind, not even the feeling of your heart shattering into millions of shards. Closing your eyes, you placed one hand over his throat, the blood warm under your palm, and the other on his chest. Wasting no time, you channel all your strength – the connection sparked, and the raw, untamed magic you inherited from your mother surged through you. It seemed to work at first, his pulse lightly responding to yours.

But the more the magic surged, the more you felt a terrible pain in your belly. It started as cramps but quickly escalated into suffering so high that you felt like someone was stabbing you. A trembling squeal escaped from your red lips. You were killing it, you knew it. You were killing your own baby.

"Come on, come on," You muttered, pushing harder, forcing your will into his body. "Stay with me, Arthur," You whispered, tears streaking down your face, each sentence cut by muffled cries of the mafioso you had slaughtered and who was still alive— not for too long to be honest. He seemed to say something in Sicilian but you couldn't understand what. And you didn't care. "Just... stay with me." You gritted your teeth, doing your best to put up with the pain.

Click.

You froze.

“You nosey little slut. You should've stayed with the others.” 

Your heart missed a leap at the unknown male voice, carried by a thick Italian accent. The mafioso’s colleague looked at you, gun pointed right to your head.

"Remember me?" He asked with a wicked smile, recalling the moment he had offered you a cigarette a few hours ago. During your brief chit-chat, he told you that his name was Damiano but you didn't make the connection between Changretta and his Italian heritage.

“Don't cry, you're going to meet with your husband again very soon." the imposing man added, a few seconds away from ending your life. However, Damiano didn't know what you were capable of. Even less now that you were driven by pure rage and despair.

“Shut the fuck up!” You suddenly yelled, your claws firmly anchored in your husband to make Damiano understand that no one would snatch him from your arms. Your voice, a seductive melody that could enchant like a siren’s song, suddenly sounded monstrous. Raw and primal, the way you screamed the threat echoed in the entire maze of hallways and made Tommy’s blood freeze in his veins, a few corridors away. “Fucking die!”

Damiano didn't know that he never stood a chance. You sealed that man's demise with one blunt arm movement as if you had wanted to chase a mosquito from your face.  

"Wh-What..."

Damiano, fell on his knees next to his dying friend, and writhed on the floor. With his two hands pressing on his chest, he suddenly started to choke and, right after, threw up a great amount of thick blood. Apart from the vomiting, blood soon seeped from his eyes and ears, bubbling like something inside was boiling them alive.

"P-Please!" He begged but you didn't stop. The man obviously tried to scream but the only sound he could produce was disgusting gurgles.

"Don't worry, you're going to meet your friend pretty soon." You replied with a cold and sardonic tone before closing your fist, the man's lungs responding to your gesture by imploding in his chest. Like his colleague's arms did a few minutes ago, Damiano's whole body crashed against the floor with a thud.

Quickly, you shifted back your attention to your husband and kept giving him all your energy while ignoring the black dots that were dancing in front of your eyes, as well as the awful, unbearable stabbing sensation in your core. You were definitely hurting yourself by using your power that much but you didn't give a fuck. “Arthur, please.” You growled, a feeling of dizziness building up so bad that you didn’t even hear the hurried footsteps that were coming closer, nor the hoarse, familiar voice of your brother-in-law.

"FUCK!" You exclaimed. You were losing Arthur again.

The three bodies lay strewn like discarded puppets, their lifeless forms twisted and broken on the blood-flown concrete floor. The once clean backroom had transformed into a nightmare realm of gore and horror that made Tommy's stomach turn upside-down.

The Peaky Blinder's boss took two steps back and brought his calloused hand to his mouth, fighting against the urge to puke – and God knew it took him a lot considering the atrocities he witnessed and did during the war. His turquoise gaze scanned the room, which had turned into a slaughterhouse. A fucking pool of crimson blood. First, he saw the limp and distorted corpse of Damiano, whose eyes were open wide in horror despite him being dead and cold. The terror in his frozen facial expression left no doubt about how awful his last moments must have been: he had suffered, and he had suffered more than a lot. Then, he caught a quick glimpse of the second victim. With his eyeballs reduced to a reddish foul mush, the lacerations on his face, and the abnormal number of stabbing wounds, the mafioso’s body was so maimed that it looked disgustingly grotesque.

Then he saw Arthur.

"Oh my God. Oh my fucking God — Arthur!"

Amidst the chaos, where the air hung heavy with the acrid and pungent scent of blood, Tommy's screams echoed far away in the distance as you knelt there, eyes wide open and silent tears streaming down your cheeks, mixed with dark trails of ruined mascara.

Tommy reacted immediately and knelt near his brother with a panic so uncontrollable that it swept away every ounce of coldness and self-control he usually displayed. He slapped his brother's cheeks several times in a vain attempt to help him come back to a conscious state but it didn't work. Thomas Shelby's fist hit the floor with frustration as the feeling of powerlessness crept into his heart. He was losing another brother and there was nothing he could do to save him.

But you could.

"Heaven, d'ya hear me?"

You let out a muffled whimper, or at least you thought you did as your senses saturated with one unique sound: a relentless ringing that echoed in the hollow caverns of your mind. With each pulse of your heart, the sound intensified, threatening to consume the last remnant of sanity you had left. The world around you had seemed to fade into obscurity, your sight blurry and reduced to only one color: red. Vibrant red splattered everywhere, on the walls, and yourself but most of it was on the floor. In fact, the ground itself seemed to writhe beneath the weight of the corpses, as crimson rivers flowed freely, painting the concrete in shades of crimson that gleamed like freshly spilled paint.

“Oi! Listen to me!” Tommy’s powerful voice suddenly snatched you from your daze just enough time to catch your attention and plunge his turquoise iris into your Arctic eyes.

“I—I can’t. I can’t, I can’t...” You repeated in a whisper, just like a broken record, because your husband’s pulse was weakening again, blind to your exhausting and painful efforts. Arthur was dying, your baby was dying and the intensity of the pain you went through was so insufferable that all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and wait for death to make this nightmare stop.

Tommy rapidly shifted his body to be by your side, his sharp eyes focused, but softer than usual. “You’ve got this,” he whispered, meeting your panicked gaze. “Keep going. Don’t stop.” He pressed his hand firmly over yours, steadying the trembling fingers that worked to save his brother. His voice was low, gravelly, but laced with a quiet strength he tried to share with you. His grip was warm, grounding you in the chaos, his presence like an anchor. At that moment, the weight of the world felt momentarily lighter with him by your side. You replied to his help with a muffled sob.

"You've got this!" Tommy tried to keep you from falling apart but the sight of a thin trickle of blood slowly running down your nose worried him almost to death. He looked at you and he knew. He knew that you had given everything – every ounce of your energy to save his brother, your magic now drained. Your hand trembled, still pressed to Arthur’s chest, but the world around you was seriously fading to black.

Caught amid this Hell with Tommy by your side, you didn't hear nor feel Polly, who had found the crime scene.

"Oh lord please help us, oh Lord, oh Lord..." Polly cried, horrified by the bloodbath as well as by the sight of you clinging to Arthur's limp body. She had already lost one of her nephews and couldn't bear the weight of losing another one. Not her sweet Arthur. Not him,

"We're fucking losing her too!" Tommy exclaimed, "fucking help me!"

"Heaven!" She called, grabbing your shoulder and shaking you but all you did was scream one last time. A haunting and otherworldly wail that pierced the darkness. A sound so agonizing and inhumane that it seemed to tear at the very fabric of existence. It echoed across the building, carrying with it the weight indescribable of sorrow and despair as your arms tightened your grip around your dying husband.

The smell of blood hid Tommy's musky perfume that was tingling your nostrils. The deafening ringing in your ears covered Polly and her nephew's voice. Your breaths came shallow and weak, your body becoming heavier as darkness crept in. Slowly, your eyes fluttered shut. In one final movement, you collapsed beside your husband, your last thought a silent hope that he would live.

Or that you would at least die trying to save him.

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language. gif by the wonderful @alicent-targaryen.

✞ Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @woofgocows @anathemasworld @anastasia000 @kate654 @kxnnxy @babayaga67 @meowtastick @shelbyssins @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @bluevenus19 @raincoffeeandfandoms @kishie8 @zablife @alexandra-001 @alexizodd @helen06dreamer @kmc1989 @peakyswritings @peakyltd @chaosinkest1996 @vanhelsingsbigtoe @cherubswhispers @lokigirlszendaya @justrainandcoffee @mischievouslittlecreature

[benispunk]

Who's That Girl?

Chapter 5: We Stay Silent

All jokes aside, Wade had too much stuff to deal with. Keeping up his mask was way too hard.

logan howlett x reader

TW: language, D&W, panic attack, mental health issues.

A/N: chapter five is up!!! this one is directly connected to the previous chapter, it's basically the same chapter but from wade's pov, so please make sure you read Part 4 before reading this one!! Please don't be made at me I love wade so much😔✊

→ this fic is inspired by the TV Show New Girl, Wade and Logan aren't Deadpool and Wolverine (no powers/mutant gene etc) but I did take most of their character traits and storyline!!

Masterlist / Previous Part

Wade woke up later than usual, sunlight already creeping through the blinds. His phone buzzed on the nightstand with a few missed notifications, but he didn’t bother checking them right away. He stretched lazily, rubbing his face. The apartment was quiet, almost too quiet. Logan and Y/N had already left for work, probably hours ago. Good. He didn't think he was in the mood for any morning chit-chat for once.

After throwing on his running gear and grabbing a water bottle, Wade slipped out of the apartment and into the cool morning air. He’d hit his usual route— nothing too long today. He wasn’t up for pushing himself too hard.

He never liked running. He always wondered what part of running was actually satisfying for some people. It helped him clear his mind, gave him space to think, or better yet, not think at all. Maybe he had a toxic relationship with running. Maybe it worked like a drug on him. But he knew he would rather run until his legs give out rather than go down the same path he followed years ago. He knew better now.

The streets were familiar, and Wade let his feet carry him through the neighborhood without much thought. His mind wandered, as it often did, from jokes he was working on to what gig he had next to the weird thing Logan had said last night. Everything felt scattered, but that was normal. He was used to living with his thoughts bouncing around like a pinball machine. His mind felt like a computer with thousands of tabs opened.

But then, just as he rounded a corner near the park, Wade froze. Vanessa.

She was standing there, a few meters away, looking just like she used to—like a ghost from a past life. She hadn’t seen him yet, thank god. His heart slammed into his chest, panic rising as he quickly debated turning around and bolting. Too late.

“Wade?”

Her voice caught him mid-step. He turned, awkwardly waving like an idiot.

“Vanessa, hey!” Wade’s voice came out higher than he wanted, and the grin he plastered on his face felt all wrong.

Vanessa smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners, looking genuinely happy to see him. “I knew that was you. How’ve you been?”

Wade’s brain scrambled for something, anything to say. How have I been? That was a fucking big question. How do you explain six years of missing someone without falling apart? He ran a hand through his hair, nervously glancing at his shoes.

“Oh, you know… same old, same old.” He tried to laugh it off, but his voice cracked.

She didn’t seem to notice his internal chaos. “It’s been so long, huh? We should catch up sometime, what do you think?”

He wanted to run. Run so fast he could break his legs and never even feel it. Catch up? What does that even mean? How do you catch up with someone you’ve been in love with since forever even after you both decided that being friends would be better, and bla bla bla, why was he thinking about this again?

He did his best at hiding his internal panic and forced himself to stay still, nodding like an idiot.

“Yeah, totally! That would be great.” He was still smiling like a maniac, but inside, every alarm bell was going off. Abort. Abort. Abort.

Vanessa seemed pleased with that answer, though. “Great! I’ll text you.”

“Yeah! See ya around, V,” Wade blurted before turning on his heel and jogging away as fast as he could without looking completely insane. He could feel her eyes on him as he sprinted, and he didn’t stop until he was several blocks away, breathing hard.

“Good job, Wade. You fuckin’ idiot,” he muttered to himself, wiping sweat from his forehead. His chest felt tight, but it wasn’t from the run. It was that familiar pressure building inside him, the one he tried so hard to ignore. The feeling of not being able to handle any of it.

———

Wade stood outside Blind Al’s door, debating whether to knock or not. He hadn’t seen her in a while, but she had been a constant in his life during the toughest times. Before Logan. Before everything fell apart.

He knocked, and her voice came through the door, as sharp as ever. “Took you long enough to visit, jackass.”

Wade smiled despite himself, pushing the door open. “Miss me, Al?”

“Not in the slightest,” she quipped. Wade knew she couldn’t see, but the way she was standing in front of him made it look like she was staring right through him, “Something’s going on with you. Spill it.”

Wade plopped down on her couch, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Ran into Vanessa.”

Blind Al didn’t react. She just sat back in her chair. “That so? And you didn’t completely lose your shit?”

Wade snorted. “Define ‘completely.’ I told her we’d catch up, and then I ran away like a coward. Does that count?”

“Yeah, that counts,” Al said, her voice gruff but understanding. “So what now?”

“I don’t know.” Wade rubbed his temples. “She seemed happy, like genuinely happy to see me, and I just… I don’t know what to do with that.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Al said bluntly. “She’s part of your past, and that’s fine. Doesn’t mean you have to dive back into that mess.”

“Yeah, but what if…” Wade trailed off, staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t even sure what he was asking.

“Look, you’ve got your life now. You’ve got Logan, and now this new girl, Y/N, right? Stick to what’s real. Don’t go chasing ghosts.” Al’s voice softened slightly, and Wade felt a pang of gratitude for her, "Or go for it. Just, don’t think about it too much. Let things go their own way." she added.

Easier said than done, but duly noted.

Suddenly, she got up from her chair and walked towards her kitchen. Wade watched her come back with a cup of not-at-all full of alcohol coffee and settle back in her chair.

"So, you didn’t tell me about that new roommate…"

He stayed with her for lunch and then they talked all afternoon. He told her everything she had to know about Y/N, and how Logan was doing, too. But still, he couldn’t shake the thought of what had happened that morning. Vanessa. Al was always right, but the pressure in his chest still hadn’t gone away. It wasn’t just Vanessa. It was everything. 

———

By the time Wade got back to the apartment building, the weight in his chest had doubled. He made a turn into an alleyway, the walls suddenly feeling too close. His breath came in shallow gasps, and his hands started to shake.

No no no no no, not now. Not here.

He pressed himself into the corner, knees pulling up to his chest as he tried to get control, but it wasn’t working. He felt like he was drowning, like the air was being sucked out of the alley. Everything was overwhelming.

Breathe, Wade. Just fucking breathe.

He fumbled for his phone and dialed his therapist’s number. He knew she had given him her personal phone number just for emergencies but maybe, maybe this time, it was an emergency. He needed it. Because breathing wasn’t working. After a few agonizing rings, she picked up.

“Wade? What’s going on?”

He could barely get the words out, his voice shaking. “I…I c—can’t »

“Okay, okay,” she said calmly. “You’re going to be fine. You know the drill. Slow your breathing.”

Wade tried, focusing on her voice. After what felt like hours, his breathing steadied, but the tightness in his chest remained.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked and Wade had no idea what to answer. Air was back in his lungs, yes. But that was it.

"I’m losing it. I don’t know what to do." He waited a few seconds for his therapist to answer. When she didn’t, he continued. "I’m lost. I can’t make a choice. I feel like a fuckin’ loser and I don’t know why people are still keeping up with me. And I called you, god, I’m so sorry, I know it’s supposed to be for emergencies only—"

She interrupted him, "Wade, this was an emergency."

Wade shook his head and he watched his free hand for a few seconds, it was shaking like crazy. He didn’t say anything for a while. "Can we have a session soon?"

“Of course, Wade. Can you get to someone, right now? A friend?”

“Logan,” Wade muttered. “I could go see Logan.”

“Good. Do that. You’ve got people, Wade. Lean on them.”

Wade nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Yeah… yeah, I’ll go see Logan.”

He hung up and dragged himself to his feet, wiping at his face. Get it together, Wade.

———

Logan’s classroom was quiet when Wade arrived, a rare moment of calm at the end of a long day. The coffee shop near the center was still open, so Wade grabbed a box of donuts and two coffees before heading over. Showing up unannounced wasn’t unusual for him—Logan never seemed to mind (he did– Wade chose to ignore it). Besides, the guy could use a donut break anyway.

But as Wade neared the door, that familiar tightness crept back into his chest. Logan’s gonna see right through me. He paused, forcing down the rising anxiety, plastering on his usual grin before pushing the door open.

“Hey, I come bearing gifts. You looked like you could use a sugar rush.”

Logan frowned as soon as he saw him. “You okay?”

I hate him so much.

Wade waved him off, doing his best to sound casual. “Me? Of course! I’m always okay. What’re you talking about?”

Logan didn’t press further, but Wade could feel his friend's eyes lingering on him, studying him like he could sense the tension beneath the surface. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Logan to ask again or not. Wade kept talking, cracking jokes, doing his usual routine, but something in Logan’s steady silence made it harder to maintain.

They sat together, sipping coffee and biting into donuts, the atmosphere light but heavy at the same time. He knew Logan saw through him. He always did. But Logan didn’t push, and for that, Wade was grateful.

As they left the center together, Wade kept the conversation rolling, letting his words spill out faster than usual, a habit he’d sharpened over the years. Keep talking, keep things light, and maybe Logan wouldn’t dig deeper.

“...and I swear, man, if this one guy hadn’t backed off, I would’ve–”

“You sure you’re okay?” Logan’s voice cut through Wade’s ramble, and oh my god, was he using a gentle tone on me?

The question sent a jolt of panic through Wade. He felt the familiar tightening in his chest again, the pressure pushing against the cracks. Not now. Not here.

He immediately forced a laugh, one that felt too loud in his ears, like he wasn’t the one laughing . “Of course! Stop worrying about me, peanut. You’ve got your own crap to deal with. Speaking of which,” Wade added quickly, redirecting the conversation towards something he knew Logan wouldn’t press on, “how’s it going with Y/N, huh? Been hanging out together without me, yet?”

Logan rolled his eyes, but Wade didn’t miss the shift in his expression. He knew Logan had caught the distraction, knew the guy could read him like an open book. But Logan didn’t push, not yet.

“She’s our roommate, Wade,” Logan said.

Wade threw him a wink, keeping up the act. “Sure, sure. Got it.”

Logan let it slide, like Wade knew he would. He always did. Pushing Wade for answers never worked. Logan had learned that a long time ago. He’ll ask again later, Wade thought, the weight of it settling somewhere deep inside him. But for now, at least, Logan let it go.

Wade kept talking, kept deflecting, but even as his voice filled the air, he could feel Logan’s gaze on him, steady, waiting. Logan would be there when the time came, ready to listen. Wade knew that. He always knew that.

But right now? Wade wasn’t ready. Not yet. So he smiled, cracked another joke, and pushed the feeling down a little further.

Maybe later.

XXX

[animasola86]

or: how I see werewolves and how I made them fit into the universe A Night to Remember is set in

Bear, the werewolf featured in A Knot to Remember and A Hug to Remember, comes from a long line of shapeshifters, allowing him to turn into a large black bear, a big wolf or a fox (if he's feeling playful) on his own will.

He was cursed with lycanthropy by a shaman.

He can't control turning into a werewolf, which happens only one week a month (from three days before to three days after a full moon) and only during the active hours of the moon (between moonrise and moonset*).

(*While writing my A Night to Remember series, I did not properly research when the moon rises and sets in late October, so you'll find that the moon is actually present during the night which isn't possible as it set around 5pm on Halloween (if I look at the 2024 data), but as a reminder: I write fantasy stories and I didn't know any better, and I might do the same mistake again because it'll fit the plot better. So, uh, yeah.)

He learned to control his urges over the years/decades (age is undisclosed, but he's older than you think).

He used to be a ravenous beast, unable to control himself, but managed to find and ground himself with meditation and herbs/teas/drugs?

He can't turn others into werewolves, as it's part of his curse, forcing him to live alone.

(The curse came from an angry shaman. His family used to take care of a large piece of land. When others came, they built a house on their grounds, forcing them to either leave or work for them. They settled for the role of groundskeeper, but some of his tribe were against it. The shaman cursed the house to slip in and out of existence, trapping the inhabitants inside, and his family to turn into monsters (werewolves) to further keep people away from the land.)

He can still make someone his mate, marking them, and other supernatural beings (e.g. vampires) will know that particular human is taken.

(By the way, the vampires living in the cemetery near the house were also cursed. They used to belong to the house but weren't inside when the curse hit, so they turned into the bloodsuckers the shaman thought they were.)

Bear is the last of his kind and is very focused on producing heirs (though it's not clear if he's even fertile, the curse may have taken that away as well – only one way to find out, right?)

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert in folklore or history or geography (or even moon phases apparently), I basically know nothing and I do not mean to offend anyone's beliefs or customs or traditions. I just take snippets from all the things I've heard and read and seen, and build them into my own little Frankenstein's monster-esque lore. Just as I see fit. You may see things differently, and that's completely fine. But I am the author of these little stories and this is how my brain works. And I hope this list helped you understand it a little better. Thank you for giving me your time!

See below for some visuals!

Bear's werewolf form:

large, tall, muscular, dark/black fur/skin, humanoid body except for wolfish hind legs and long bushy tail, feet and hands are paws/paw-like with long black claws, wolf head, black eyes (when horny), yellow eyes (when on the hunt/normal)

Bear's human form:

tall, muscular, short curly black hair, brown eyes, full beard, tan skin (no picture necessary, just imagine him as you like with those details)

Bear's bear form:

large black bear with light brown snout and black eyes

Bear's other forms:

black wolf: black fur with patches of gray and brown, yellow eyes

gray fox:

(Images found all through Google. The werewolf ones are probably AI generated...)

[teddybeartoji]

yk when i went to the concert i checked to see how many ppl fit in there how many ppl can it hold whatever you get my point and . all of you could fit there . THAT'S FUCKING INSANE

[ikamigami]

Exactly this!

My thoughts but you just worded it so much better xhjxjxjxjnxnxnxn

Thank you 💗 (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

And I hope that Sun will be broken for awhile so family will put some effort into helping him and being there for him just like Earth pointed out xnnxnxnnxnxnxn

Thank you 👉👈 xhxbbxnxnxn

Time for another Theory Boys! I wanted to post stuff on my Bday but I got busy so I'll do my birthday stuff later. I have to get this theory off my chest before I forget about it or worse someone else comes up with it before I have a chance to send it.

This theory will include spoilers from the most recent eps, "Moon's NIGHTMARE encounter while hunting for Dark Sun", "Sun, Solar, and Moon FACE THEIR CONSEQUENCES...", and "Sun is forced to make A DEADLY CHOICE". So I'm putting this below a spoiler bar. I will also be going into MASM spoiler territory, "Sun begins his VILLAIN ARC with Eclipse". Will also be mentioning LAES "Dark Star HUNTING in VRchat". Just a little disclaimer my theories and stuff are just my own observations and me putting together my thoughts and ideas so they usually aren't super accurate to what is really happening buy I do find a lot of enjoyment doing this. That said, on with the brainrot!

So this Theory starts at the ep, "Sun is forced to make A DEADLY CHOICE", in this episode Sun has to make a heartbreaking decision to kill Nexus and defend his current family or let Nexus kill Moon so he can maybe try to still save Nexus. The entire episode is punctuated by Dark Sun doing an ultimatum with Sun. He freezes time and pulls Sun away to the purgatory dimension. Something interesting I want to point out, this is the CANON purgatory place in TSAMS and the multiverse. Vegeta was sent there on request and met several deceased characters. That place symbolizes people who couldn't make decisions in life and are now stuck in the past, unable to move on even in the afterlife. The only person in purgatory that doesn't belong is Solar Flare and with his case he became a guardian that help guide people when they're not suppose to be there. Back to the encounter, Dark Sun pulls Sun to this place in a very trippy sequence where he presents Sun's choice in a very black and white manner. "It's going to be you one way or another." Dark Sun says in response to Sun's stuttering mess of a reply, he proceeds to follow up with "Inaction is still a choice" Sun of course, is opposed to this but Sun adds interesting lines, "Regardless of this, I win." "You let Nexus kill Moon and I'll get that data and I'll expunge it everywhere" "You kill Moon and I'll collect that data and expunge it everywhere." So at the end of the day he needs some kind of decided code where someone willingly chooses/wants to kill Moon. He also said, Nexus is Moon. So killing Nexus coding wise is the same as killing Moon.

Once Sun caves and makes the decision to finally kill Nexus, Sun, while in tears, asks D!Sun "Who are you really?" In this soft, tiny voice. And D! Sun replies, "I'm Sun, I'm every Sun you've ever met. That you ever will meet. That you've never met and never will meet. I'm You, I'm Me. I'm Sun. Goodbye, Sun. I hope we never meet again, I hope you have a good life too." Then he vanishes from the purgatory place right in front of Sun.

Then the episode ends with Sun finally putting a stop to Nexus. Something very important I notice and that's a theme in TSAMS is identity. Identity is a huge role in everything and usually, when someone is affirmed and very solid in who they are, then it's usually not the case. Earth believed she was the Creator's beloved daughter. Sun believed he was nothing more then the idiot to Moon's genius. Moon believes himself to be an irredeemable monster. Most importantly, Eclipse believes himself to be Moon. If D!Sun says he's a Sun....I just don't really know at this point? When he summoned Sun and paused time he took him to the purgatory afterlife. The thing about that is, Sun never physically left the strange star-powerless dimension pocket D!Sun owns. So one can assume it was Sun's mind or Soul that was drawn there for the conversation. So then I ask, why was D!Sun using the Eclipse v1 mode? The Sun glow model has always been associated with Eclipse v1. I know that in recent eps it's been used to tell Sun's apart however, in the purgatory place would they really need to be physically distinguished? We the audience know who is who. So, in the place where it's their souls, why was D!Sun's Soul physically different from Sun's? Coincidence? Visual distinction? I think this is possibly a case of an Eclipse thinking he's a Sun. I WANT for Dark Sun to be a Sun, I think it's just chilling and haunting. The two most OP villains in the entire franchise happen to both be offshoots of Sun? Ruin is arguably far more Sun then Moon and of course Dark Sun has caused the most problems behind the scenes. But I do think it's interesting how he put it, how can he truly be EVERY Sun if he needed OUR Sun's decision to kill Moon? He could just use his own hatred for Moon. Or just use Nexus, why even make/give Sun the chance to grow and defend himself?

Remember back when we found out it's canon Moon bullies Sun's in all dimensions to get them to 'grow spines' and in a way, Eclipse' also treat Sun's poorly in the hopes Sun gets tougher?

We for canon know of 4 variants of Eclipses, the 4th being the rarest in the multiverse. The first Eclipse variant is the one we first meet, the Eclipse born from Sun and Moon's split. Moon leaves a killcode string in Sun which eventually grows into Eclipse. Eclipse in this version identifies as Moon.

The second variant Eclipse is 'ruin Eclipse' or the eclipse that resembles the games. Born from the two Sun and Moon AIs being fused. We've seen this version in PuppetMaster's dimension and of course with Ruin. He doesn't see himself as Sun or Moon, but as an entirely new existence. The third variant is unique to MASM. He's the original DCA model for the world but was turned off for bad coding and a far too violent nature. He's kind of like a cartoon villain and just wants revenge on everyone.

Then there's the 4th variant, Solar Eclipse. He's the first Eclipse but instead bonded with his Sun and changed for the better. He wasn't isolated and was given Sun's unconditional love. He does identify as Moon at first too but chose to let go of his false identity and hatred because he got the thing he wanted, even if he lost it far too early in his existence. So back to D!Sun...I propose what if he's a variant of Solar Eclipse? It was stated Solar is so unique he's the only inherently good Eclipse in the multiverse...but how can that be true? How can there really only be one Solar, especially when Cringe dimension (our dimension's parallel) also has their own Solar? I think there's a type of Eclipse we haven't seen yet. The Eclipse that identifies themself as a Sun.

I'm also excited to see where D!Sun's story goes because he also mentioned he was changing skin soon. It'll be interesting if they ever find him again. So moving past this, more speculation.

In today's most recent ep, "Moon's NIGHTMARE encounter while hunting for Dark Sun", he stumbled upon a dimension with a 'discrepancy' and when visiting the discrepancy he was greeted to a new Sun beating a lifeless Moon's corpse into powder. This Sun was a crying sobbing mess but would not stop almost like he was possessed. He even started trying to attack our Moon. What's interesting about his 'discrepancy' Sun is he seemed to have a nightcap and had sparkling rays. I can't tell if this is a simple different dimensional appearance or maybe the code D!Sun scattered affected that sun's appearance? However, it's interesting that Sun being violent to Moon is considered a dimensional discrepancy. Moon ended the episode by walking off with Solar to get a sandwich while his new AI runs a dimensional scan for Sun on Moon violence and it ends by it saying "35% of discrepancy's found." This means we're now encountering an EVEN BIGGER effect then what Ruin did when he deleted entire dimensions to kill the creator counsel. Not really sure how the code Dark Sun is spreading works, but it's clear it's making every Sun hate their Moon's now. We don't get the context on why Sun hated his Moon and felt the need to protect himself, because at the end of the day that sparkling nightcap wearing Sun still had a reason to act. He told out Moon, "He was going to kill me, he was going to replace me" and Moon looked closer to determine that this new unknown Sun wasn't possessed by a killcode or anything similar.

D!Sun has seemingly broadcasted into the multiverse the ability for Sun's to now stand up for themselves. They will now choose murder if it means to protect them.

We know when Dark Sun told Sun "All Sun's die eventually to their Moon." He meant it, however, just because D!Sun was being honest doesn't mean that's the truth. He might truly believe all Moons are evil and destined to kill their Sun's however we've seen plenty of dimensions where Sun and Moon peacefully exist. So D!Sun is now just turning every Sun slowly with time into murders. He wanted revenge on Moon and is now using every Sun as the weapon to do it. I'm really interested to see how this will affect the story going forward. Now I would also like to bring up Moon and Sun Minecraft lore, in the most recent lore episode, "Sun begins his VILLAIN ARC with Eclipse", the entire episode centers around Sun finally quitting because the abuse of all his coworkers is too much. He finally quit and ran into Eclipse and had to prove how evil he is so he kidnapped Bonnie only for the entire thing to flop in a Phineas and Ferb reference. (It was funny ngl) The ending was interesting to me though. Moon found Sun on the roof of Evil Inc. and apologized to Sun, a really shitty apology I will add, and Sun didn't accept it.

Sun is continuing to stand up for himself. We've seen before in TSAMS and other dimensions Sun will accept an apology no matter how unbelievable it is. The only ones so far to truly stand up for themselves now is MASM Sun and EAPS Sun (which EAPS Sun still doesn't really stand up for himself)

I'm curious to see how this code works because it seems like D!Sun harnessed it from Sun's very soul. I know Sun on record has said he doesn't believe he has a soul but it's been dis-proven because you need a soul to use magic. The Devil from the Bible even stated they do in fact have souls he plans to one day collect.

We also know now that the Cringe dimensions' Moon now identifies as Nexus so he might escape a fate of that Sun killing him? I think Cringe Sun actually knows far more then he will ever let on. I think he knows more about Sun's magic in general. He didn't want to teach EAPS Sun despite knowing how.

EAPS Sun might be the only Sun so far to be actually interested in learning magic but when he describes what he wants to do it mostly sounds like stage magic? He mentions he just wants ✨sparkles✨

I think we'll need to keep our eyes peeled because I think now every Sun will be affected by what Dark Sun is spreading and slowly turn more violent towards Moon's as time goes on.

Anyways!

I will add more, so another theory I have is Nexus is not dead. Dark Sun himself promised to Nexus he'd help him become a god and recently there was a deal he made where Nexus has to do whatever he wants and says. Plus, part of D!Sun's plan was to have Nexus fight Taurus to gain a new level of power. Nexus' evolved in his NSP use thanks to that confrontation. Up until then, D!Sun wasn't ever actively interfering or encouraging Nexus with his NSP use. He only once came in to mention maybe he should purge the excess NSP or it would kill him. After his failed kidnapping attempt of Sun, he was more active in his plans and how he directed Nexus. Then we see Nexus getting stronger from this direction. Next thing we know is Nexus kidnaps Moon and now we have the ultimatum which was exactly what D!Sun wanted. Either way, he wins, right? Nexus either becomes a god by listening to D!Sun's plan or by using Sun as an AI chip to hunt down shards. Something really important in my own guess/theory that Nexus is we still saw his corpse when Solar, Sun, and Moon walked past him in the flashback during the ep, "Sun, Solar, and Moon FACE THEIR CONSEQUENCES...", He wasn't totally gone. Dark Sun can easily revive Nexus but here's what I think is really going on. In the recent LAES ep "Dark Star HUNTING in VRchat" Gemini dropped some really important information. NSP will eventually turn into SP. Whenever SP and NSP interact it creates life. Sun as we know, has SP and I theorize that Sun killed Nexus by mixing his magic and SP. After all, the way Nexus was acting as he was dying was interesting...He sounded like he was...melting? I don't know how to describe it. Sun's magic as we know is unique. It's altered reality and changed lifeforms. Those magic plants Solar, Moon, and Monty were dealing with were due to Sun's magic. @goodolddumbbanana pointed out to me that Sun's magic was the cause of those plants. They also pointed out to me when I was asking about what D!Sun was doing in Sun's home and touching all of Sun's things they theorized that D!Sun was harvesting Sun's magic. (I'm gonna make an actual theory post about this later too with Banana, stay tuned ;) )

So back to NSP and SP. Nexus is similar to Lunar in terms of narrative. He feels he was used and left the one using him for a better place. Eventually, the one he felt that used him the most killed him in a fiery explosion with only a little bit left behind.

In a lot of stories, especially ones where someone goes from mortal to an immortal-godlike being they usually need to die. There's power in the act of rebirth. Nexus' and Lunar's stories resemble that of the phoenix.

Rebirth through flames to achieve and almost immortal existence.

So this isn't me grasping at straws I truly think Nexus will come back and be a being similar to Lunar. I think Dark Sun is going to rebuild him amongst the stars to have his own personal Astral for future use.

So those are my current most theories! I hope you all liked my yapping. Please let me know what you all thought about :>

[thecultoflove]

CUPID HI Being nervous of image does happen sometimes and it's a really difficult thing but I think you're so FUN! Not a lot of people want to be [ Whatever you'd call your behavior ] for a similiar reason you're apologizing for so I think you should take a day to appreciate that uniqueness isn't a horrible dooming end of the world situation. Take what you think is a flaw of yours and look at it as something that others love you for. I can promise that people most likely PREFER you're overly excited

ajgkfhdkfdkjghkjfdhgjkfdhgjkfdhgkjfdhgfdjkg this is too sweet i really wish i could express how much i needed it i hope you have the best day ever. i love you so muchhh

[cursezoroark]

because i feel like i need a refresher on rejuv's story again i feel the need to finally do renegade its just im soooo so hesitant on being mean but i don't want to skip to terajuma......... if anyone has a way to sorta keyhole that please please lmk.

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.

And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[desperatepleasures]

spent a LOT of today thinking about how good my kansumi headcanons are I literally became this image

[davyjoneslockr]

i asked vade too, but i wanna hear about fugio and their daughter…. Pita Bread also, for funsies

YES DOMESTIC FUGIO

Okay I think she's "born" through some stand shenanigans. Like they both want a kid and consider traditional methods, but Giorno's grown adept enough at using his stand that he feels confident with trying his hand at creating a child with Gold Experience (listen, if he was that overpowered at 15, the sky's the limit a decade or two down the line).

Sure enough, he does some complicated shit, and they have a daughter. I headcanon that Fugo takes Giorno's surname when they get married, so, in true pretentious Fugio fashion, her name is Viola Fiorenza Giovanna.

When she’s a baby, Fugo is terrified that he’s going to hurt her. He’s come a long way in overcoming his self-hatred and anger issues, but there’s still a part of him that worries about snapping, or even just accidentally putting her in harm’s way. But he’s actually reassured by the way he’s been able to care for their cat, Pita Bread (please see Tony’s posts about Pita Bread if you haven’t. She is so important) - if a fussy, skittish cat like her was able to warm up to him, he must be doing something right. Still, he’s super gentle with Viola, and always keeps himself in check. He never lets her see him angry, and he knows to get space when he’s starting to feel frustrated.

One night, when she’s little, she gets scared over something minor, as kids do - a nightmare, or the monster under under the bed, or the shadows on the wall. Fugo comes to her room to comfort her, and she asks him to stay with her until she falls asleep. According to her, “I know I’m safe if Papa’s here.” When she does eventually drift off, Giorno finds him sitting at the end of her bed, a hand covering his mouth, uncontrollably sobbing.

Knowing his child trusts him, will never see him as the dangerous, cruel person he’d regarded himself as for so long, means more to him than anything.

Giorno is an unorthodox dad in a lot of ways, but a good one. He refuses to do baby talk with her, and he’ll have completely normal conversations with her, even if her only responses are babbling. He’ll just sit on the living room floor with her and go “That’s an incredible building you’ve created with your Legos. Very avant-garde. Your father knows all about the history of architecture, Viola. You really should ask him about it sometime. It’s fascinating. Anyhow, would you like to hear about the stock market?” And she stares at him with wide eyes, comprehending absolutely nothing. This does give her a very advanced vocabulary at a young age, though.

He also gets really anxious at the idea of leaving her alone. He never wants her to feel neglected, so he spends a lot of time carrying her around, listening to her rambling when she’s old enough to speak, and even just sitting and parallel playing with her. When she gets older, it gets a bit stifling, but she never feels like she’s alone - if she needs to talk about something, or just have someone by her side for a while, she can always trust Giorno to be there.

Like her dad, she has a way with animals, and she and Pita Bread are besties. She carries her around in the haphazard way kids do, and Pita Bread doesn’t care at all. They go explore in the backyard and find cool bugs together. She sneaks her scraps off the table, even when Fugo nags her about it. I think Pita Bread has a stand, so maybe, when Viola gets hers, they use their stands to communicate.

Speaking of, Viola takes after Giorno and is a natural-born stand user. This means she gets sick before her stand manifests. It probably happens when Giorno’s out of town on a mission, and Fugo, who never went through this, absolutely freaks out. He full-on panics on the phone with Giorno, wondering what he could’ve possibly done wrong, why her illness just keeps getting worse, and Giorno is equally in shambles as he drops everything and rushes home as fast as he can.

Thankfully, she pulls through and obtains her stand (still figuring out what that’s going to be), but it’s an awful, painful memory for both Giorno and Fugo.

As far as random little happier things though. Fugo sings to her when she’s asleep, and she’s always delighted on the rare occasion that he sings while he’s making dinner or something. When she’s old enough, he teaches her how to play piano, and he’ll sing more frequently then. She’s just as interested in bugs and frogs and plants as Giorno is, and he’ll use Gold Experience to make real ones for her to observe. She has Fugo’s strawberry blond hair, nose, and long limbs/fingers, and Giorno’s eyes, height, birthmarks, tiny fangs, and ability to fit her entire ear in her ear canal face shape. She’s super spoiled from having two mafia dads. Narancia, Mista, Sheila, and Trish are her cool uncles and aunts who take her on fun day trips and get her the best birthday gifts. She’s definitely slipped and called both Bucciarati and Abbacchio “Grandpa” before, and she hangs out with the kids at the orphanage they run a lot. I’m basing her adult design off of Stevie Nicks on the cover of Rumours. More info to come on her and Naramis son :]

[heybaetae]

.

[taiyami]

hii i haven't followed you for long but i just read your mosh pit story and my jaw literally dropped. you are definitely stronger than me, i would have asked what we are right then and there! i haven't been to concerts in so long and i really miss the atmosphere and the feeling of community you get, so it was really nice to be reminded of how great they can be!

(also what is your favourite bird (and why?) i was in a youth group for ~ten years where we regularly would go birdwatching so i'm really genuinely asking :D)

hope you have/ had a good day!

I'm just glad I was able to hold my own at least for that moment in the pit HAHA The guy told me he was surprised at how strong I was because I don't really look like I fit the bill, but I can easily lift and hold most people. I hope he's doing okay and got home, wherever that is. I always have a habit of falling in love with strangers, ugh. It was my first music festival, and even though it was only for a day, it was SO fun, definitely the best birthday present I've given myself so far.

As for my favorite bird, it kind of changes daily since theyre a heavy interest of mine .. But generally I pick Laughing Kookaburras or Cockatoos (usually Major Mitchells Cockatoos .. both pictured below). But I enjoy a VERY LARGE range of birds, depending on the region and what qualities im interested in at the time. I've done grad research on American Crows and Sulfur Crested Cockatoos, so I really like the assholes of avian groups I guess <:)

[onlineviolence]

Most of the fan art made of Kaon would make people who do not know who he is think he is simply a walking shitpost when in reality he is only partially a walking shitpost and mostly just a terrible person who hardly ever shows up in the comic that derived a whole new personality from tons of speculation and headcanoning,,, sorry for getting all scientific but I think he s just so interesting

very true! just saw a funny image was all

[astonmartinii]

little lion | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem young mum!reader

journalists go digging in max's past and think they've found f1's next big scandal - but they underestimate just how protective max is of his little lion

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1tea

liked by user5, user6 and 23,095 others

f1tea: this is y/n y/ln the supposed baby momma of max verstappen. not much is known about her, with her only going back to work recently as a therapist in monaco.

her and max had their baby, a girl, back when they were 17 in 2015. max has never been seen in public with the child and has never publicly claimed her either.

will we see her in the paddock now all the news is out?

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user7: holy shit this is insane

user8: this poor girl doesn't deserve this

user9: literally, either max is a present father and is just private or he doesn't have anything to do with them? but it coming out like this is probably stressful regardless

user10: also by my calculations, the baby will be nearly nine, so probably has a concept of fame and celebrity and if they haven't gone to a race it's probably for a reason

user11: i mean the way people are already talking about them proves them right already

user12: ted kravitz telling it like it is 🤲

user13: no he's not ??? he basically went on broadcast to call y/n a slut and try and say that he was 'always right about max because this proves he is reckless'

user14: once again, this child is eight and could understand some of this if they see it

user15: also the incidents ted is bringing up happened EIGHT YEARS AGO stop bringing a child into your weird agenda

user16: if he's not careful red bull will ban sky from their media run again

user17: i found her instagram and max, alex and daniel all follow her so it's defo legit

user18: i also found it but it's private :(

user19: i tried to follow but got blocked :/

user20: do you people have rocks for brains if it's private it means we're not meant to find it, if she's not spoken about it in eight years that means IT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS

user21: someone tell max to get a DNA test asap, gold diggers will do anything for money and fame

user22: what fame? she's got like 400 followers and has never spoken about max to any media outlet

user23: the way you people jump to gold digging allegations kill me

user24: also if max is the dead beat that sky are trying to make him out to be and y/n is a gold digger then why haven't we seen some child support claims and whatnot

user25: you have no shame posting this, if she didn't want to be found she doesn't want to be found

user26: f1 vultures at their best

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,389,774 others

maxverstappen1: i've seen a lot of journalists and 'professionals' trying to point score with the 'big revelation' of my daughter. sydney is the love of my life and for someone who grew up in the public eye i thought it would be best to keep my daughter away from the circus. not that i owe it to any of you people, but i see syd as much as i possibly can and i didn't want to post her or bring her to the paddock until she could make that choice for herself. y/n is a wonderful mother and is the exact support system i would want for my daughter.

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user27: MAX IS A GIRL DAD?

user28: congratulations media and internet you forced him to expose his kid

user29: the way they probably see this as a victory annoys me to my core

yourusername: you're an amazing father max, don't let them tell you anything else. sydney loves you and that's all that matters.

maxverstappen1: thank you y/n, i miss you both - see you this weekend!

yourusername: we look forward to it! x

user30: she didn't say that she loves him too so they're defo not together

user31: will you people ever learn to read the room?

user32: oh wow so max does see his daughter - watch sky still run with the deadbeat angle

user33: they were so shameless about his SLEEP SCHEDULE i cannot imagine the shit crofty is going to throw at him over this

danielricciardo: i'm sorry for how this has all come out max but i'm so glad i can publicly express my love for my god daughter!

maxverstappen1: this might mean that you can give her all of your gifts in person (if she wants to come) lord knows i can never fit them back in my suitcase

user34: you literally have a private jet?

maxverstappen1: you underestimate how seriously daniel takes being a god parent

danielricciardo: i think i'm singlehandedly keeping jellycat in business tbf

yourusername: and ikea, i have to buy a new shelving unit every couple of weeks daniel

danielricciardo: SYD IS MY BEST FRIEND LEAVE ME ALONE

user35: drop 💥 the 💥 daniel 💥 and 💥 sydney 💥 photos 💥 now 💥

user36: actually don't i don't think my baby fever can take it

alexalbon: you're an amazing father max and sydney is the coolest girl in the world!

maxverstappen1: thank you alex 😊

alexalbon: also if you ever convince y/n to come to races PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make her bake me some of her iconic brownies

yourusername: alex you know i can just bake you some and send them to you via max

alexalbon: please 😫😫😫

yourusername: no worries albono, you're a growing boy you need the nutrients

maxverstappen1: they're brownies

alexalbon: i need y/n's brownies to deal with YOU

maxverstappen1: ok maybe this is why i don't want to introduce you all :(

yourusername: don't worry maxie i'll make you some goodies to go

maxverstappen1: thank you :)

user37: she makes him to-go goodies 🥹

yourusername

liked by feranandoalo_oficial, danielricciardo and 319,506 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm not very happy that i have to make this statement like this because people couldn't respect the boundaries max and i have set as parents but alas: max is the loveliest man in the world and the best father sydney could ask for. he has a very busy life but he still makes as much time as possible for syd and she loves him very much. max has been in the spotlight from a very young age and did not want that pressure and spectacle on his own daughter. we may have never been together, but max has never been the monster you're trying to make him out to be. please respect my daughter's privacy. thank you.

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user41: once again, this is a very cute family but god this is a horrible way to find out about them :(

user42: i hope they know so so many of us are supporting them

danielricciardo: syd has grown so much i actually feel kind of sick

yourusername: i was a mess on her first day of school :(

danielricciardo: oh i can imagine ... max never told us but i'm sure he was his usual stoic self

yourusername: he tried, but we did both cry over a carton of ice cream for the whole morning

maxverstappen1: IT WAS A VERY EMOTIONAL MORNING

yourusername: it really was 🥺

user43: i'm sorry but why do two europeans have a daughter called SYDNEY?

maxverstappen1: she's nearly eight... i made my f1 debut in australia eight years ago... i can't hold your hand any more than that

user44: LMAOOOOOOO

danielricciardo: i am HURT i thought she was named after her beloved god father?

yourusername: if that was the case do you not think we would've gone for the more obvious option of DANIELLE???

maxverstappen1: also you were just an acquaintance and childhood crush at that point daniel

yourusername: omg childhood crush on daniel SNAP

danielricciardo: i'm not that old???

maxverstappen1: we have such good taste

yourusername: we REALLY do

user44: so like they're defo flirting right?

user45: ugh you people have no class (i hope so)

landonorris: i'm so sorry for you guys BUT THANK GOD IT WAS SO HARD TO KEEP HER A SECRET

maxverstappen1: i mean y/n and i kept her a secret for like nearly eight years 🤨

yourusername: i also 100% caught your slip ups you're just lucky there was never any rumour at those times

landonorris: I AM A BLABBERMOUTH PLEASE BE PROUD OF ME

maxverstappen1: fine?

yourusername: i'd be more proud but everyone else also kept the secret sooooo ???

alexalbon

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 894,503 others

tagged: lilymunhe, yourusername

alexalbon: with permission i am now allowed to post my bestest friend in the world!

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user46: god has heard my prayers and gave me my alex and sydney content

user47: i'd say what a random pairing but i think my brain just blocked out alex at red bull as a trauma response

alexalbon: lord knows i only got through being locked in the sim with y/n's brownies and hugs from syd

yourusername: syd asked for her favourite uncle to score more points so we can get ice cream again

alexalbon: i'll fix the damn williams myself

yourusername: hurry up she's getting impatient (i have no clue where she gets that from)

maxverstappen1: I AM NOT IMPATIENT I JUST LIKE THINGS BEING DONE IN A PROMPT MANNER

yourusername: is that what you tell the engineers?

maxverstappen1: ... something along those lines

yourusername: are you going to get more community service?

maxverstappen1: i don't think there were any cameras ???

user48: so max doesn't believe in not swearing around kids... how bad is it with sydney?

maxverstappen1: i am on my BEST behaviour for her

alexalbon: she's like a little sailor

maxverstappen1: in my defence she's much cuter when she swears than me

charles_leclerc: is this why she called me a wanker when i didn't bring leo to the house?

yourusername: i fear that has alex albon written all over it

alexalbon: whoops!

lilymunhe: we need another play date asap !! he goes so mushy i can get him to do all the cute dates i wanna do

yourusername: is that why i got given a badly painted mug?

alexalbon: hey! i worked very hard on that :(

maxverstappen1: i thought sydney painted it alex

alexalbon: can you guys stop ganging up on me :(((((

yourusername: no!

maxverstappen1: 😘

user49: feeling some ... tension here

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,450,987 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: guess who wanted to come see dad at work?

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user51: oh she really is max verstappen's daughter with that cold middle finger to ted kravitz

user52: are they going to make an eight year old do community service as well?

yourusername: great now she's attached to the engineers

maxverstappen1: oh noooooooooo how will we ever cope??? maybe we should all go to every race ???

yourusername: that would be very convenient, wouldn't it?

maxverstappen1: i can see you smiling while typing, i don't think you're as opposed as you say you are

yourusername: you got me! i like to see syd happy :(

maxverstappen1: and me...?

yourusername: and you, i guess 😚

user53: so like are we just going to ignore all of this ^^ and the second picture?

user54: it would be nice that through all the shit they've had thrown at them that they got together through it

danielricciardo: he's been waiting long enough

maxverstappen1: DANIEL???

danielricciardo: what ???

user55: daniel, thank you for your service

user56: i mean we've seen them at one race and it's crazy to think they're not together

alexalbon: why did i have to track my bestie down at the hotel? you verstappens too good for the williams garage?

yourusername: we were busy !!!

alexalbon: franco is distraught

francocolapinto: i am?

alexalbon: yes!!!!

francocolapinto: i am!

maxverstappen1: stop yapping for the love of god i was getting my shit together - something YOU told me to do

alexalbon: fine... i guess

user57: so like that's confirmation right?

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly and 2,349,855 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm still reporting all you journalists to the ethics boards but i guess something good did come out of all of this

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user58: FUCK SKY SPORTS BUT THANK THE LORD THIS IS SO CUTE

user59: a family that flips off ted kravitz together, stays together!

user60: y/n's dirty look at him will forever be legendary

maxverstappen1: i've always loved you, and i've loved playing the long game with you and prioritising syd !! here's to the rest of our lives xx

yourusername: i've always loved you too but as convoluted as it has been i think this has been the best way to be - all love to syd first

maxverstappen1: but now we can cut the shit and do all the cute things without it having to be a 'play date'

yourusername: i love you dummy, but your cats are mine now

maxverstappen1: they've always been yours, just like me

user61: okay fuck you guys this is too fucking cute

user62: no because i'm too chronically lonely to read this this morning

landonorris: FINALLY, I COULDN'T KEEP ANOTHER SECRET FOR MUCH LONGER

danielricciardo: booooooo, we've all kept this secret you're not special

landonorris: i thought i was the only one who max told about his feelings? like literally on the podium when he saw y/n and syd watching?

oscarpiastri: i think you just can't read people lando, even i knew max liked y/n and i've only seen them interact THIS WEEKEND

alexalbon: we've all known forever lando, you're not getting sympathy for keeping the secret for 12 hours

user63: the grid being so protective of the lil family is so cute

user64: i read that george got the GDPA to sign a petition that the media couldn't ask about syd before max was ready to start the conversation himself

user65: also by the sounds of it, they've been rooting for this relationship just as long as max and y/n

maxverstappen1: i'm so lucky to have two amazing girls in my life, i'll love you forever and as long as you'll have me

yourusername: now i have you, i'm never letting you go

maxverstappen1: right back at you

yourusername: you're the bestest father ever and the love of my life, never let anyone tell you anything else my gentle boy

maxverstappen1: i love you both more than anything ever, you're my guardian angel and syd is my favourite little lion

fin.

note: HAPPY MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN BIRTHDAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE !!!

[did-we-imagine]

Moroccan homie here, they were these fancy schmancy animals we saw in european/american cartoons. I never even thought wd had these in Morocco, until one day, I saw one on my doorstep as I came back home from high school.

My mom was like "what is this weird thing lying all dead here?" (Very normal reaction considering we never ever saw one in real life).

I took one look at it and told her "welp, it's a bat."

It was oddly colored with purple wings and yellow fur. An absolutely strange little thing. Thank god it was lying unconscious, had it flown, we would have freaked out (me, my little sibling who also was there, and my mom). I think last thing she did was to call our neighborhood's security agent (idk how to explain, but here in neighborhoods, we have people we pay to watch out for trouble makers/thieves to be safe). He took it away and said they were apparently common in the village where he grew up. They call it "Jliddan" there (it's in moroccan arabic dialect I believe).

It was kinda freaky, but I guess at least now I know we do have bats in Morocco.

Do reblog if you answer, I need a large test group.