#Comment rb

[milla-frenchy]

thank you so much Ally ❤️❤️❤️

we always have to teach them things 😏😏😏

Playgirl

4k3 | Javier Peña x fem reader | ao3 | Masterlist

Summary: Attracted to your father's best friend since his return from Colombia, you finally get what you want Warnings: 18+ mdni. sets after season 3, Javi is back in Texas. dbf!Javi, age gap (reader in her early 20s, Javi in his 40s), Javi is jealous, possessive and a little mean, reader is a brat, dry humping, fingering, manhandling, face sitting, degradation, size kink, oral (f/m), piv, creampie

a/n: this is written for @yxtkiwiyxt 's Never have I ever challenge Prompt was "never have i ever had a sex dream about someone i shouldn't" Thank you for the event Kiwi 🙏❤️

Thank you @aurorawritestoescape for beta-ing and helping me with this fic 💕 I love you more than you know 🫂🫶 @/saradika-graphics for the dividers 🙏

Javi ordered a whiskey neat, loosened the knot of his tie, and downed his drink in one go before asking the bartender for another one. The bass was resonating against the counter he was leaning on, and he had already regretted choosing that bar. Too noisy, too different from the quiet atmosphere he usually preferred. 

He drank the second whiskey and heard a loud laugh he would recognize among a thousand. He turned in that direction and saw you with two men he immediately hated. Too young, too close to you. Too touchy. And you… too drunk.

“Jesus fucking christ”, he grumbled. He wondered if you were there with your friends that he knew, but as he scanned the room he didn’t see a single one of them. He turned back to the counter, ran his thumb along his nose and tried to breathe calmly. He didn’t like it. Didn’t like to see you with those guys. 

When someone pushed him lightly, ordering three shots, Javi turned and recognized one of the men. Javi gave him a snarling look and the guy jeered,

“Chill, man.”

Javi rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers against the empty glass. He hesitated at first but then stood up and followed the guy until he came up to you. 

“She’s had enough,” he gruffed as he interposed himself between you and the men. The atmosphere shifted.

“Javi?” you stammered in a drunken pitchy voice.

“It’s not your business man,” one of the men replied. “You know this guy?” he asked you, looking over Javi's shoulder who shifted slightly to block his view. 

“Yeah, he’s my dad’s best friend.”

One of the men snickered and looked at Javi, firmly standing in front of them. 

“So you’re going out with a chaperone?” the man mocked you, not taking his eyes off Javi.

“No, I didn’t know he was here. What are you doing, Javi?” you demanded, touching his arm to turn him towards you, but he didn't flinch. 

The three men kept staring at each other until Javi turned around, told you “we're leaving,” grabbed your elbow and led you towards the exit.

“Wow wow, man, we’re having fun,” one of them objected, seizing Javi by the arm. He stopped and grasped the man's wrist to free himself. His gaze was so dark that the man backed away immediately.

“Really? Having fun?” Javi sneered, taking two steps towards him. “And how much fun do you want to have, exactly?”

Noticing that the situation was escalating, you tried to ease it and said “Come on, Javi. Everything’s fine.”

“Do you know them? Did you know them before tonight, I mean?” he asked you, and you could have sworn you saw something other than simple protectiveness of your father's friend. It made you smile, and it didn't go unnoticed by Javi when his gaze lowered to your lips. He clenched his jaw.

“You’ve had enough,” he repeated. “And if they were decent men, they wouldn’t offer you another one.”

“We’re just having fun!” you added, not hiding your mischievous smile, making him mumble into his moustache.

“You had your fun. Now we’re leaving.”

He didn’t really give you a choice, squeezing your elbow and leading you toward the exit.

“She doesn't want to go with you, man,” one of the men protested. “So who’s a decent guy here?”

“Listen, kid,” Javi said, exasperated, grabbing his shirt collar. “She’s coming with me. And if you don’t want to embarrass yourself, step back, right now.” They faced each other for a few moments until the other man told his friend to let it go.

The cool air hit your face when you stepped out of the bar, and you followed Javi to his car as best you could, given his pace. He opened a door for you and told you curtly to get in, then he sat behind the wheel.

“Seat belt,” he ordered.

“What?” 

“Jesus, are you always so fucking dumb when you're drunk?” he asked sharply, leaning over you to grab the seat belt and pull it in front of you before fastening it.

“You smell good, Javi.”

“Seriously? How many drinks did you have? Just… stop talking, ok? You're gonna give me a headache with your drunk high pitched voice.”

“Ok, you fucking stink, then,” you giggled.

He rolled his eyes and started the car. “Don’t puke in my truck”, he warned.

“Of course, who do you take me for?” You looked at him then whispered, “don’t say anything if it’s mean,” your index finger pointed at him as you  laughed and then pressed it against your lips playfully.

He sighed again and mumbled something in Spanish that you didn’t hear well, but that didn’t sound nice, for sure.

“I always wondered, you know,” you started talking in a confidential tone.

“Don't you ever shut up,” he sighed. “Wondered what?”

“How big it is.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, regretting it almost immediately. He interrogated hundreds of sicarios with a cool head, but seemed unable to cut down your drunken gibberish, much to his dismay.

“Your dick. You’ve got a big dick, for sure.”

He choked on air and you chuckled before you continued “there's not much for the imagination with these jeans… right, leftie guy? But how big?”

“Fuck, what is wrong with you? You talk to your father with this mouth?” he barked, icy gaze fixed on yours, his body frozen in shock at your audacity.

“What are you gonna do to shut me up, Mr. DEA agent?” you said, still pushing him. “Use your handcuffs? I bet I’d like it,” you said with a wide smile.

Javi’s cock twitched in his pants and he hated himself for it. The ride was going to be way too long for his liking.

His fingers tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, as the images from his last dream came back to his mind. 

You, lying beneath him, your mouth forming a perfect “o” as he pushed his length in your welcoming pussy. She was warm, so tight that she was struggling to accept his thickness. Your walls strained against his shaft that had never been so hard. His face lowered to yours, fixed on your eyes that struggled to stay open, on your lip that you were biting to fight through the stretching of your hole, even while it was drooling. He was fucking you slowly, for a long time, attentive to all the sensations that ran through his body, until you pulsed on his cock, moaning, head thrown back against his pillow. He licked your neck before nibbling it, then whispered in Spanish against your ear about how well you were taking him, how perfect you were, and then he came, filling you with his seed, and a new climax rocked you.

“Javi,” you whispered.

He woke up suddenly, his sheets wet with cum that he hadn’t been able to hold back during sleep.

Those dreams were becoming more and more regular. When he had returned to Laredo after resigning from the DEA, slowly getting back into touch with some fragments of his previous life, he couldn’t imagine that his jaw would drop when he knocked on the door of his friend's home. They had stayed in touch, even when Javi was in Colombia. Of course, your father had told him about you over the years. About your studies, about how proud he was of you.

You opened the door and stared at each other for a few seconds. Javi was unable to speak, completely frozen.

“Javi!!” you finally exclaimed and hugged him. He was sure he wouldn't have recognized you, if he had passed you in the street.

Days, weeks, months passed, and he‘d seen you many times since then, when he visited your father’s. He was trying to keep his thoughts pure but his cock was betraying him.

And then the dreams began.

The first time he jerked off thinking of you, he'd had too many beers at your dad's. All night long, he wondered if he was imagining your signals, or if you were really hitting on him. He felt ashamed when his cum leaked down his fist clenched around his cock, as he was imagining it buried in your throat.

“You put on quite a show there,” you said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He glanced at your bare legs for a moment, your dress riding up your thighs.

“Sit properly, will you?” he cut in with a sigh.

“Why?” you replied in a playful tone. “You don’t like the view? Doubt it,” you added, nibbling the tip of your index finger.

He hated that you could think that. Hated that you were right. His only way to react was to be aggressive, but it didn't seem to stop you. Quite the opposite, actually.

“I think you were jealous.” Javi scoffed at your words. “You didn't like seeing me with other men,” you added, still pushing.

“Men?” he mocked. “They were like what, 23?”

“Yeah, 23 and 24. Seems like a perfect age to have fun,” you teased, eager to spike his jealousy, to feel desired, wanted.

“What would your father think if he saw you acting like a whore?” he hissed, pissed off.

“I don’t know Javi, what do you think?”

“Jesus christ,” he said under his breath. Luckily, your father's house was now in sight. As he pulled into the driveway, you grabbed your purse off the car’s floor and looked into it and after a pause began frantically rummaging through it.

“Ughhhh Javi? I can’t find my keys….”

He cut the engine and leaned his head against the headrest. 

“You really think I’m stupid?”

“I swear!!! I must have lost them at the bar. Where am I gonna sleep?” you whined.

He grabbed your bag roughly, searched through it and pulled out the set of keys with an annoyed glare.

 “Come on now, I’ll walk you home.”

You pouted and followed him out of the car. The moment you opened the front door, you heard the phone ring and picked it up.

“Dad? I just got home. I was at the bar and ran into Javi who walked me home like a gentleman,” you said, smiling widely at him. He rolled his eyes, hands on his hips.

“Sure,” you added, handing the phone to Javi. “Dad wants to talk to you.”

You couldn’t hear your father, but you saw Javi’s eyebrows furrow.

“I don’t think she’s that drunk, you know,” he sighed. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. See you tomorrow.”

 “What did he say,” you asked when Javi hung up.

“Your father won’t come home until tomorrow night and he doesn’t want you to spend the night alone. He’s afraid you’ll choke on your vomit,” he scoffed. You didn’t hide your smile.

“Of course!! You don’t want me to choke on my vomit, Javi, do you?”

He tried not to think that he would really like to make you choke on something else at that moment. He closed his eyes for a minute, sighed and said, “Go to bed, dammit.”

“Mmmm… it’s too early for that. I’m gonna take a shower. See you later,” you said before heading upstairs.

Once Javi heard the water running, he poured himself a glass of whiskey, debating whether that was a good or bad idea. He turned the TV on. The first thing he saw was a documentary about drug cartels.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” he mumbled and  flipped through the channels until he found a baseball game. He was trying not to think about you naked in the shower, imagining your fingers slipping against your folds covered in soap. Unsuccessfully.

When you came out of the bathroom wearing an oversized t-shirt, his cock twitched painfully against the fabric of his pants. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge before sitting on the couch next to him.

“Absolutely not,” he said, taking the bottle from your hands. “Drink some water, no need to add more, don’t you think?”

“Jeez, you’re boring,” you grumbled, leaning against the back of the couch, arms crossed over your chest. Your pouting didn’t last long, and you straddled him suddenly, pressing yourself against his crotch.

“Get off me” he growled. “You really think I’d fuck you? What is wrong with you?”

“Wrong with me? You’re hard!” you giggled. “You’re fucking hard, Javi,” you repeated, feeling his bulge. “And… oh, shit. I knew you were big, but not that big.”

“Stop,” he grunted, his hands on your hips.

“Nuh-hu,” you replied, starting to rub against him. 

“I won’t fuck you. You really need me to tell you why?” he asked, but you almost felt like it was more to convince himself than you.

“No, and I don’t give a fuck anyway.”

You stared at each other for a few seconds, his gaze darkening with every moment. You thought he was going to pull you away from him but he surprised you when his hands squeezed your hips and you smiled, victorious.

“Wanna act like a slut? In your father’s house?”

“Yeah, actually I do. Does it turn you on, Javi? Even more than it did when you were thinking about me in the shower?”

And that was it. He didn’t care about your father anymore. He'd given up on resisting, didn’t know when he would stop. If he could even stop. Jaw clenched, he watched you rub yourself against him, your breasts so close to his face, he was glad that you still had your shirt on, or he would surely already be sucking on them.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” you breathed out, still pressed against his bulge, which was even bigger than a few minutes ago.

“No, you won’t,” he cut you off, but you smiled and leaned towards him and brushed his lips with yours, playing with him. You were enjoying it too much to stop.

“Tell me you don’t want to kiss me,” you murmured, your breath caressing his lips. “And don’t lie to me.”

Tightening his grip on your hip with one hand, he pinched your chin between his fingers, squeezing it almost painfully. He held you inches away from him, maintaining control.

Then he told you to stand up and sit back against his chest.

You didn't want to at first. You wanted to feel his digits on your skin, to feel him under you, his cock pushing against his pants, but when he murmured “do as I say” you complied and leant against his chest, legs spread around his lap. You waited, surprisingly wise, leaving him the initiative for what was to come next.

Javi placed his hands on your hips, manhandling you until his cock nestled against the warmest place of your body, still covered by your panties. You whined when he found the spot so perfectly, and whimpered a little more when he whispered “you're gonna be good?” in your ear.

“Yeah,” you moaned.

“Keep all spread for me, and dance. Slowly.”

You started to rub yourself against him, and felt your panties getting soaked. His hands slowly moved up from your hips to your breasts and under your shirt, cupped them and played with your nipples, making you bite your lip.

His breath quickened against your ear and you closed your eyes, rocking your hips against him until he pushed the fabric of your panties aside and slid his hand between your bodies to release his cock. So strained against his clothes that he cursed impatiently under his breath. 

Javi pressed the pads of his fingers to his shaft and pushed it against your soaked folds. Then he started to move, matching your hip movements with his own, gently, sensually. Perfectly.

“Look at you. Droolin’ all over my sack. Jeez, I’m fuckin’ soaked,” he said, before nibbling your earlobe, his moustache rubbing against your skin.

When he slid his other hand down to your clit and started to circle it, you came quickly, regretting only that your pussy felt desperately empty.

You weren't expecting him to push his tip into your entrance, and the slightly painful stretch made you whine.

“Fuck, wait!”

“What?” he gruffed. “You wanted to know how big it was, didn’t you? That’s why you humped that cock, just wanting to ride it, even if you already knew how fat it was, right?”

“I’m… I’m not sure I can take it,” you whined pitifully.

“Oh? You’re not sure you can take a man’s dick? A real man, not one of those boys who make you drink to fuck you.”

His thumbs ran over your dripping folds and you moaned. 

“Alright. You’re already so wet,” his tone superior, not trying to hide it. ”I bet I can make you drip even more. I’m gonna eat that cunt until she clenches on my fingers. Get you ready for my cock.”

“Oh, really? Are you that good, Javi?” you retorted, unable to stop yourself.

“That’s not very smart coming from someone whining 10 seconds ago she couldn’t take it. Now sit on my face.”

“What? I never… Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Wanna see you losin’ it. Your knees getting weak for me.”

When you straddled him and placed your pussy close to his face, you felt shy, intimidated. He grabbed your ass firmly, pulled you closer to him, tugged your panties to the side and just dove in, licking from your pussy to your clit. He growled, and an almost inaudible “fuck” escaped your lips.

Then, you couldn't do anything except moan, because no one had ever eaten your pussy like he was doing it now. He wasn’t in a rush, wasn’t showing his eager need. He was so sure of himself and his movements, alternating tongue, fingers and nose against your folds, between them, that his attitude alone would have been enough to make you come. 

He was using and manhandling your body as he pleased, choosing what part of your cunt he wanted to lick, suck or eat. What part he wanted to rub against his nose. As if your body wasn't really yours anymore, but existed for him to feist on.

You were a soaked, moaning mess, unable to feel your legs, now made of cotton. Until the heat that was increasing in your lower abdomen suddenly exploded, making you pant, hands clasping his hair and he didn't want to leave the streaming river that flowed down his throat. You squirmed over him, until he decided it was enough, and released you. You collapsed onto the couch next to him. Trembling, breathing heavily.

He wiped his mustache off your cum and grabbed your hand as he stood up, then placed it on his shaft.

“See what you did? Now you gotta do something about it.”

He released your hand and took off his clothes, his fat, reddish tip twitching and crying, begging for relief. You swallowed slowly, when you finally saw how big he was.

“Shit,” you stammered.

“Stroke it,” he ordered and you smeared the precum on the tip and used it to jerk him slowly. It was the biggest cock you'd ever seen. By far. You couldn't take your eyes off it, wondering how it would feel when he would push it inside you. If you could take it. If it would hurt, and this time you almost hoped it would, already cock drunk of him.

“Lick it a little. Drool on it,” he said. 

You wanted to do it perfectly, just to wipe the smirk from his face. So you applied yourself, licked him and let his taste fill your throat. Then you rounded your lips as much as you could to suck on his tip, and slowly moved down his shaft. 

“Look at that. You're not just good at talking, it seems”, his tone still so confident.

He accompanied your movements with one hand on your head, letting you lead the pace. His grunts turned into moans and you could feel your arousal drip.

"That's it, you're doing good. See, there's nothing to be afraid of," he added, but when you lifted your head and saw his smirk, you knew what he was thinking. The moment he would sink in, you’d whine.

“Ok, that’s it,” he said. “Bend over the couch, gonna fuck you now. I'm gonna give you what you want, and it will only happen once.”

Before settling behind you, he removed your shirt, then tugged aside your panties.

“I’ll go slow, okay?” 

You nodded and watched him lick his fingers then caress your folds with them, and he aligned his tip with your entrance before pushing in. You gasped as you felt the first stretch spreading you open.

“It’s ok, you can take it,” he added. “Breathe. Come on.”

You dug your nails into the couch as he thrust in, never stopping until he bottomed out with a growl. He stayed there, balls deep, keeping you open around him, moaning, trying to catch your breath.

“Fuck… you’re fucking tight,” he growled, pulling back and then pushing in again, eyes fixed on his cock sliding in you, covered with your slick.

“That’s what you wanted, getting fucked by your father’s friend? You should be ashamed,” he spat.

“Come on, Javi… oh fuck… you think I… think I didn’t notice the way you looked at me?” you added as he thrust harder, reacting instantly to your provocation. 

“You’re only proving me right,” you added, and he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck, forcing you to hold your head like he wanted and arch your back for him.

“You’re delusional,” he hissed, making you snicker.

“Am I? You’re gonna tell me you never thought about fucking me? Never thought of… shit! Of thrusting in with your whole length? Of eating my cunt?”

“Shut up,” he panted.

“Tell me. Tell me you thought of me, and don't lie to me. I did everything I could to make you think about me. That's called premeditation, isn't it, Mr. DEA Agent?”

He stopped moving and leaned to press his chest against your back, his nose and moustache brushing against your neck, catching his breath for a moment before his hips resumed their dance, rubbing against a spot you didn't even know existed before him.

“I dreamed of you,” he finally confessed. “Several times.”

“Tell me. Tell me what happened in your dreams.”

“I fucked you like this. Made you come on my cock. Made you moan like you’re doing right now.”

“Shit… You’re gonna make me come on your cock, Javi?”

“Yes,” he answered without a doubt in his voice.

“Fuck… Keep talking to me. What else?”

“I fucked my shaft. Jerked off thinking of you. Imagining it was your mouth around my cock, not my fist.”

“In your dreams, you mean? You dreamed of that?”

“No. I thought of that.”

“Oh god,” you whined. You realized you were about to come, just from his shaft brushing this spot. Already worried that you would spend the rest of your life chasing that feeling.

He grabbed your hips tighter, digging his fingers in your flesh, and you were sure you’d have bruises the next day. His skin was slapping against yours, harder, faster.

“Every time you’ll fuck someone else, you’ll think of me now,” he growled. “Like a curse. You will never feel something like this again.”

“Please… please,” you begged.

“Please what?” he asked, and you didn’t need to see him to know there was a smirk on his face.

“I need more,” you whined.

“I’m not even done with you,” he mocked. “Now be a good girl, and come for me.”

“Please… I don’t want it to end. Please…” you whimpered. As if you could stop your body from reacting to his perfect, relentless thrusts. Clinging to the couch, you dug your fingers into the cushions as your orgasm swept through your entire being, leaving you panting and boneless.

You clenched on his cock so hard he was afraid he'd spill his load. But he wanted it to last a little more, too. He tried to think of something else, anything. He released his grip on your hips to try to feel you less, but your pussy wouldn't give him any respite.

“Fuck,” he moaned.

“You wanna fill me?” you asked. “Fill me, Javi. I wanna feel you flowing down my folds all night long.”

“Stop it,” he groaned.

“Fill me. Fill your friend's daughter.” You couldn’t stop talking. Didn’t want to stop. You wanted to make him break, to feel that he was losing his mind too. Just like you.

He slid his fingers in your mouth and found the force to smirk when you licked and sucked on them.

You squeezed your pussy around his shaft until you heard him moan.

“Shit, you… you and your fucking tight cunt!” he let out through gritted teeth.

“Who will be the most cursed, Javi? Me… or you?” you smirked.

“Shut up. Fuck… I own that cunt now. You hear me? No matter who fucks her after me.”

He slipped his hand under your breasts to force you up and didn't stop fucking you, your back pressed against his chest. You fumbled and grabbed his hand, finally clinging to his thumb, moaning, unable to form a single coherent thought.

“You wanna drain my balls? Ok take it then,” he growled, and you felt his cock twitch inside you, just before he spurted in your cunt, filling it longly, slowly, with his load.

He didn't let go of you until you both caught your breath, then he told you to go to bed. You heard him light a cigarette as you opened your bedroom door, your legs still shaking.

You woke up to the sound of your door opening during the night. He was naked and you let your gaze drop from his broad shoulders to his happy trail.

“I thought it was only a one-time thing,” you teased, already feeling your cunt getting wet at the sight of his hard cock.

“Fuck it,” he replied, climbing on your bed.

Javi p masterlist

Thank you for reading 🙏

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

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[toxicanonymity]

toxic! the latest chapter of raider joel is 👨‍🍳💋

ur writing is amazing and so complex! ur so talented!

this kiss?!?!?!? and basically making love to her like WOW!!!!! I had tears 🥹

was so good to see the two pov's as well

(ive never really been into the collar idea but im keeping an open mind cos you know.. it's for our own good) 😭😭😭

x

Thank you so much! 🥹🙏🖤

( it's, like, basically a leather choker 😅 📿 )

[roosterbruiser]

this is something I've personally been wondering!

I personally am a huge supporter of comment reblogs and think it's a fantastic way to interact with my readers. however, I do worry that I am clogging up people's feeds with them!

[rebelfell]

The fact that these photos don’t exist in real life actually hurts me on a daily basis 😔

Thank you for reading, my sweet! 🥰

for your viewing pleasure┃vol. 2

pornstar!eddie x director!reader

these two losers won’t stop being in love in my drafts, so here we are with open arms and open legs.

cw: nothing too explicit yet* but lots of sensual fluff (smuff? smutty fluff? is that a thing?), smoking, nudity, allusions to sex, masturbation, poverty mention, light food play.

18+, MDNI┃1.6k

*warnings subject to expand as more parts get added

The two-week gap in your shooting schedule was already planned—had been in the books for ages.

Your crew had been working non-stop and you’d completed more than enough projects recently to warrant a little bit of a break. And the fact that the start of this break just happened to coincide with the weekend of the awards ceremony…

Well, that was just a happy accident.

You and Eddie didn’t leave your apartment for five days straight. Okay, maybe not literally. But he never went back to his place, and he spent every night with you in your bed.

You dug up some clothes for him to wear—cast offs from old boyfriends you never got around to getting rid of. They weren’t the best, but it wasn’t like he kept them on for long.

Most of the time you walked around in the nude, or nothing but your underwear. At a certain point, you seemingly decided clothing only slowed you down. But even between never-ending bouts of fucking, there were moments of stillness.

Little pockets of peace and quiet.

One morning you woke around dawn and found Eddie in the living room. He had his long limbs draped haphazardly over your shitty futon, his length laying soft against his thigh. The cigarette pursed in between his lips glowed orange as he inhaled, and the muscles in his neck flexed as he tipped his head back to blow smoke out the open window. His pale skin glowed in the faint light leaking in through the blinds, his tattoos standing out starkly black on his nude form.

He stares up at the ceiling, letting his lit Camel smolder and cherry, thin ribbons of smoke curling in the air and catching the light. So lost in thought he didn’t notice you reaching for your camera.

The sound of the shutter as you depress the release doesn’t startle him anymore. If anything, it makes the corner of his mouth twitch from trying not to smile knowing you’re there.

“Did’ya get it?” he asks, still holding his pose as you sneak in closer.

“Take another drag,” you instruct quietly, “and tip your head back like that again.”

His chest shakes with a laugh, but he obeys.

The shutter clicks and snaps again, capturing shadows under his hollowed cheeks; the arch of his spine and the slow stretch of his neck; the way his curls fall across your thrift shop throw pillows.

Serene. Arresting. Beautiful.

Floorboards creak as you creep closer, getting low to get a different angle as he stubs out his smoke. He smiles at you as he blows out the last of it and it wafts in the air, hanging there.

“Lay back,” you tell him, “and prop your head up on your arm, like—yeah, like that…”

There’s more clicking shutter sounds, more quiet direction, more instants captured forever. 

His dick starts to chub and you tell him to hold it, stepping up on the futon with him to shoot from above. He wraps his fingers around his base and starts to tug, slow and gentle. He grips the top of the frame with his other hand, the veins in both his arms standing out the tighter he squeezes.

By the time he comes, the sun has risen above the horizon and its golden rays are sparkling off the milky ropes splattered on stomach. His chest heaves with every labored breath, panting with exertion until he comes back down to earth.

A stupidly happy smile spreads across his face and he cocks his brow at you, huffing out the single word, “Waffles?” with a hearty laugh.

You live off take-out and whatever you manage to throw together from the random assortment of stuff in your cabinets and fridge; trade stories about the ‘meals’ you had to make for yourselves when you were little and came home to an empty house—cinnamon toast for you, cheese slices melted on tortilla chips in the microwave for him. He tears up when you make him a PB&J.

You take walks in your neighborhood, down to the little park at the end of your street. You sit on the bench under your favorite tree and he keeps you tucked securely under his arm at all times. 

Besides that, any attempt to leave never works out. You half-heartedly keep saying you should ‘go out’ and quote-unquote, ‘do something,’ but never manage to put the words into action.

It always ends with falling back into your sheets, stripping off all the clothes you just put on.

You lay in your bed until daylight fades into the neon orange of sunset that fades into the muted blue of early evening. Your head on his chest, his on yours, you curled into his side, him with his front pressed to your back, him laying between your legs with his head pillowed on your thighs.

It feels like a dream, or a montage in a movie you wanted to shoot again and again.

Time seems to pull and stretch like taffy, getting droopy in the middle and folding back on itself, turning over in a mesmerizing cycle. You have to remind yourself it’s not always gonna be this way, that the air will eventually cool and harden it, even though it feels like it could last forever.

At some point, he gets up to fetch ice cream from the freezer. You hold the pint in between you, taking turns taking tiny spoonfuls. He holds his spoon over your navel, letting the melted bits drip on your stomach before he laps it up with his tongue. It makes you hum in pleasure, makes your belly quiver as his lips hover over it. He lets more dribble on your sternum, in between your breasts, chasing the little rivers of it with his lips and sucking it off your skin’s surface.

He keeps doing it until he gets you squirming, snatching the spoon out of his hand and putting it on the bedside table with the ice cream. And then it’s sticky sweet kissing, tongues probing to taste the remnants of cream and sugar clinging to the insides of your mouths as you devour him.

“Wait…what day is it?” you ask, hours later through the fog of post-orgasmic bliss. Laying beside him in the bed, end to end so your feet are propped up on your pillow next to his face.

“Hmm?” Eddie drawls, halfway half-asleep as he turns his head to kiss your ankle bone.

“What day is it?” you ask again, still hazy and dazed. “Is…is today Friday?”

“I, uh…I don’t know,” he chuckles. “I lost track.”

Every day is you-day to him now.

You try to sound perturbed when you sit up, but it’s difficult when that dopey, sleepy grin of his stretches across his face. The words just come out all soupy and diluted with fondness.

“Well, I can’t imagine this is what you planned for your time off,” you giggle, nudging at his temple with your big toe. Eddie just shrugs and lightly runs his fingertips up and down your calf.

“Don’t be so sure about that,” he murmurs, now kissing the arch of your foot.

You pull your legs back and curl them under you as you sit up further, going to smack him lightly on the chest only to end up rubbing your palm across his pecs in a circle over his heart.

“C’mon, Ed, seriously,” you pleaded. “You really didn’t have anything planned?”

And he doesn’t say what he wants to, which is that he’d been dreading this break since you told him about it. That he knew he’d just be counting the days until he got to see you again; that he likely would have spent every day of it coming up with lame excuses to call you or come by.

“Honestly, nothing,” he tells you, letting his head roll side to side, still settled deep in the pillow.

You nod back, staring down at your hand on his chest, seemingly satisfied with his answer until you inhale softly, “So I’m not, like, keeping you from anything…am I?”

Even in the dark, he can see the worry that ghosts across your face. The brief flash of doubt that creeps in slowly like the moonlight bleeding through the crack under your door. It’s a thought you haven’t been able to voice yet, but has been lurking in the depths, gathering strength.

One you’ve been ignoring in the name of letting yourself be selfish in the way you never get to. 

Automatically, Eddie sits up and scoots as close to you as he can get. He puts his hand on your cheek and kisses your forehead for a long, long moment. You can smell your body wash on him, your conditioner in his curls. Familiar, yet different when it’s layered on top of his natural musk. 

It’s like part of you is living in his skin and curls. Like he’s been infused with you. 

“I’m exactly where I want to be,” he assures you, solid and unyielding. “Really, the only thing I thought I might do was…”

He trails off and your eyes flit up to meet his gaze. He chews on the words thoughtfully, the gears in his head turning so hard that you swear you can hear them out loud. Your heart swells as you reach out to stroke his necklace, rubbing the guitar pick that hangs over his own.

“Yeah?” you coax him gently.

Eddie exhales in a quiet chuckle. He takes your hand in his and lets his lips brush along the back of your knuckles before entwining your fingers.

“I thought I might go visit Wayne.”

so for everyone who didn’t ask, I think I’m going to update this post as I go and then reblog it as I add future parts rather than how I did the first installment. we’ll see how that goes 😅

thank you for reading! love you, mean it 🎥

[brummiereader]

Unchained melody is so sad and I’ve only read one chapter! i love it so much

Hi anon! I know 😭, poor Y/N i never give her a break.

...☝️our dear girl on a daily basis to me. Thank you for this sweet message anon, I'm thrilled you enjoyed the first part ❤️!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

it's been a weird couple days (as you know cause i keep texting you 😅). everything still feels really off and my emotions are going in circles (thank fuck i'm seeing my therapist tomorrow).

BUT either way, I've promised you that I'd FINALLY read roommate!Paz and tell you my thoughts!! idk what it is about tonight, but i finally had the energy to fully appreciate it and be ready to do this (maybe I also just needed the comfort of your writing and your paz).

Soooo, let's start? I’m going to try and not just quote every single line back at you but oh my god please know that I love everything about this. I still don’t quite know how one is actually supposed to react to stories, so I hope you‘ll enjoy my rambling about how your words have made me feel 😅

First of all, i hope you know that roommate!Paz is my ABSOLUTE WEAKNESS!! that man is so fine 🥰🫠(and honestly,, can do whatever he wants to me..)

"He was so careful, so gentle and made sure you felt safe, happy and satisfied before he tried new things. Even then, said new things were introduced slowly and with care. And every time he did you felt like you were falling in lust a little bit more." this? the dream. Also "in LUST"??? girl please stop denying it, you’re like fully in LOVE!!!

also.... "something very peaceful about not having to worry about how someone fucks you because you know they do it right" ..... do you just have a secret source of knowledge about my anxiety issues??? cause that feels a little to relatable as a concept,, like straight up taken from my brain when i try to explain why i'm drawn to these types of stories 😂🙈

"the man of your dreams (and also your heart but it would take time for you to admit that out loud) ".. THANK YOU, this is what ive been thinking. can't wait for them both to realise that they are absolutely in love with one another.

also, this: "You wanted to spend as little time as possible on chores and as much time as possible … together." very relatable. the „… together“ made me giggle 🙈

.. also sidenote, I really love the way you center the trust between them in the beginning of the story (and througout, really). It really is such a vital part of their dynamic and to actually feel that is really nice. and i also just really love the intimacy between the two of them - like the scene of him coming home and caring about how her day went.

“Paz,” you giggled, your hands buried in the soft hairs at the back of his neck, “What are you doing?” ... dont mind me just giggling and grinning over here...

“I’m eating you out, what does it look like?” he grinned, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip AND THEN “Patience, sweetheart,” he teased you, looking up from where his fingers were circling your nipples over the fabric of your shirt. “Let me play with you.?????? hot. 10/10. actually cant function anymore, this is all I'll think about now 🫠

“You're so good for me,” he murmured against your sternum, “Such a pretty little slut just for me, aren’t you?” ... LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW????? i think i dont even really like the idea of men calling me a slut, but i think he might be an expection.....

… also, please know that this is how I've reacted to every line of paz speaking 🙈🥰🫠10/10.

Before you could answer (or, let's be real, beg) ... LISTEN, that would be true but you didnt have to call me out like that 😂😭

“I know,” he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your inner thigh before slipping your legs off his shoulders, “Got you all come drunk already, huh?”.. one thing that man will always be is cocky.... and honestly? fair, he's allowed to be. how could he not be when he’s doing everything so right?

“Not today, love,” he murmured, the nickname sending a thrill through you and also Kissing Paz was everything you had ever fantasised it to be and more. JUST CONFESS ALREADYYYY 😭🫶🏼

“I thought this could be your … the necklace, you know?” [...] Paz seemed to know what you were thinking because he suddenly became bashful. He rubbed the back of his neck, the free hand still on your thigh, “You can – you can choose something else, if you like, of course. But I saw it in the mall at lunch and I just … knew.” stop I'm gonny cry

“And remember –“ he started. “I can always take it off whenever I want to,” you finished… i really love this. I think I've told you this before, but i really like how you always manage to hit home on the consent and trust between pairings in your stories.

You thrived in coming home and being dragged into his bed or him coming home and coming straight to you. That must be your favourite part, really. Him coming home and using you any which way he liked. Both of you ending up on the couch afterwards, talking about how your respective days had been. ... did you just invade my daydreams??? but seriously, again, i love love love reading about the intimate aspects - even without smut - in your stories. they might not confess how they're fully feeling (yet), but they don't really need to in order for me to feel the emotions between them. this just makes my heart flutter and yearn 🤍🥺

A bit of topic, but this: "It had been raining and you had used your day off to curl up on the couch and read one of the books on your tbr list." just got me really excited for finishing my master's degree next summer. I can't wait to read an actual book and enjoy it without any stress that I'm technically procrastinating. like, im so excited to not be too exhausted for my tbr list.

back on topic... Paz was usually home by now and even though you were not his girlfriend (which was totally absolutely perfectly fine with you, of course)… GIRL, CAN YOU BOTH PLEASE JUST SAY YOUR UNSPOKEN FEELINGS OUT LOUD AND MAKE IT OFFICIAL

paz coming home and needing stress relief? 10/10. also, i can't fully say why, but the way you describe paz? such a hot, pretty man.

“Stars, that’s just what I needed,” he sighed, his hand cupping your cheek, “that pretty little mouth on my cock. You’re doing so well for me, aren’t you?” AND ALSO “I know I’m very big, sweetheart,” Paz cooed, leaning forward. His hand wandered to the back of your head and you felt surrounded by him in the best way, “Can you try to take me a little deeper? Can I try to fuck your mouth?” may, how am i supposed to go to bed after this???? there's no way my brain will actually turn off, I'll just be mentally stuck right here. like,, this entire smut scene???? i fear i will not recover from this.

LIKE.. "“One day I'm gonna see how deep I can go,” he groaned as you choked on him, “Have your head hanging off the edge of my bed, see if we can make that pretty throat bulge, make that choker stretch, hm?” HUH, officially deceased. Every line I keep thinking „okay that’s it. NOTHING can make me react more than this“ and then I keep getting hit with the next words???

and then,, “Ordering pizza and a movie? We can cuddle and if you want to we can try that thing you’ve been pretending to google secretly?” MAY, i can't 🫠🫠🫠 i will be thinking about this story for forever. somebody please tell me where i find him in real life.

and the ending being all soft and fluffy? i dont know what else to say besides this man (and story) has my heart 🤍

I could keep going cause I just love your writing so much, but this turned out quite long already. So in short: honestly? we both know that i always love your writing but this made me all smiley and giggly and that really is something i needed right now 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 i don't even know how to put it in words how much i love every part of this!!

MY DARLING SARAH!!!

I am doing somewhat okay! I got to see Adele this weekend which was one of the most surreal experiences ever but with the heatwave this week I’m simply just lying on the couch, hoping that I’ll melt into a puddle 🫠

And your lovely lovely comment is not helping because that had melted my heart 🥹😭 I’m so so happy you liked it! Roommate!Paz really is so special and so fun to write 🥹

[cuppajoel]

YESSSS welcome to the Acacius train bby 🚂

Rating: E 18+ only MDNI | Pairing: modern-day! Marcus Acacius x fem!reader Word count: 1.8k CW: modern day!Marcus Acacius, light brat-tamer vibes but not really, mostly just smut, v fingering (hey! Bring back fingering!!), one (1) p slap, p pronouns, Marcus likes roleplaying?, slight anal play, Marcus spits on ittt, grinding, he calls her my lady, legal age gap, no physical description of reader apart from she has a vagina and some pubic hair?

Summary: You start being a brat about how Marcus is old and he shows you why you should respect your elders.

a/n: hey! This is the first one shot from my “Where my Lore Started” series. This is an age gap fic based on the relationship between Monica and Richard from the TV show Friends. (See here & here for my inspo) If you’d like to take part in this wee prompt/ challenge pls do and tag me so I can see where your lore started!

graphics: @saradika-graphics

tysm to @iknowisoundcrazy for beta-ing this. This is my first fic back after like 5 months and I am real nervous to start posting again and you were so kind and encouraging! <3

Read on A03 | Fic challenge | Main Masterlist

“How’d you get this one?” you trail your finger back and forth across his collarbone, your head resting on his chest, the thump thump thump of his heartbeat soothing your relaxed body. 

He exhales softly, lifting his head slightly to get a better look at the healed, raised skin. “Ummm…” His chest rumbles. You can tell he’s nearly sleeping but wants to answer your questions, just because you are the one asking them. “That one was when I broke my collarbone after jumping off the peer… the water was more shallow than first expected.” He kisses your head, his worn hand trailing up and down your arm. 

“Ouch…” you chuckle on an exhale, nuzzling your face into the patch of greying hair across his chest. You let your fingers trail circles around his bare upper half, noting which spots are more sensitive and which make him twitch. “You go peer diving a lot? I guess there wasn’t much else to do in Ancient Rome…” you shift, glancing up to his face with a smirk of defiance, and begin to brace for the consequence of your teasing comment. 

His eyes are still closed, the greying curls crossing over themselves around his ears. A steady, soft chuckle rumbles in his chest. “Let me tell you something about Ancient Rome…” he starts muttering into your hair, the hand that was soothing your arm stopping on your hip, his grip pulsing. “You see in Ancient Rome, people at my old age would be seen as knowledgeable… respected…” Marcus rolls off his back, flipping you both so that his weight and size hovers over your own. 

“I would probably be in a position of power…” He grabs your wrist and lays it above you, pinning it to the pillow. “A position of authority- a politician… a general, maybe.” He grabs the other wrist, repeating his actions and holding them together in one of his giant hands with ease. You watch as his breath becomes heavier, his pupils dilating so that his brown eyes somehow seem darker. Your breathing deepens, chest heaving up and down. You clear your throat, unable to wipe the smile off your face.

“And yooooou…” he draws back, his eyes raking down your naked form, stopping at your now stiff nipples, down to his hardening cock which rests against your stomach, and then back up to your face. “…you would be my lady, waiting for me to get home each night…” He pumps his hips slowly, the sensitive pink crown of his dick dragging across your belly button. 

”And when I get home…” he releases your wrists, dragging his blunt fingernails down your forearms, down each of your shoulders and palms you heavy breasts in his hands. He stops there for a moment, feeling the weight of them before pushing them together, fitting his head snuggly between them. “You would have ached for me. You would’ve felt so empty without my mouth and cock… and I would be famished after a hard day saving the empire.”

He flattens his tongue, dragging it slowly across your right nipple before sucking and then tugging with his teeth, only to switch and repeat the action on your left. You open yourself up, pushing your breasts further into him, causing him to exhale with a chuckle. 

Using his teeth he forges a path down your sternum to the softness of your stomach, his fingertips continuing to caress your ribs, hips and pelvis, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “So being the kind and considerate person that you are…” he presses a kiss to the curls of hair on the mound of your pussy. “…my lady would feed me…” 

He draws his cheeks together, gathering the saliva in his mouth before spitting directly on your clit, using his middle finger to spread it around in deep, deliberate circles. Your body tenses, all feeling and concentration now pulled to your swollen bud. Your breathing deepens, as you stretch your arms further above your head, savouring this feeling.

“Marc-“

He stops, moving his fingers away from the spot where you need him the most, causing your brows to knit and a pathetic whine to fall from you. You crane your neck forward to meet his arrogant expression. You stick out your bottom lip, hoping to appeal to his charitable side. “Nuh, uh, uh, my lady… I’m the general. Let me hear you say it.” 

“Please, baby…”

Smack. A tight, sudden, sting rings through your wet cunt, sending waves of warmth through your legs and hips as Marcus smacks your pussy.

“Who am I?” He demands with a deep rasp in his voice.  He cocks his head to the side, his eyes twinkling sadistically, as he tries, and fails, to hide a chuckle. Asshole.

“General, please…” you exhale, raising your hips to try and meet his mouth which hovers just above you. 

“Please, what, my lady? Hmmm?” He wears a shit-eatting grin. “You need to tell me what you need. You need to feed your general. I’m starving.” He places the pad of his thumb on your now pulsing clit, not moving it, just placing an even pressure. His fore and middle fingers circling your entrance but not entering. They hover and torture. 

You open your eyes and shift, placing your hands on the bed behind you and pushing yourself up onto your elbows. You steady your gaze to meet the eyes of the man who’s enjoying this way too much. “General, I need you to eat me like I’m your last meal, please…” 

Without a word, Marcus begins moving the pad of his thumb, side to side like a joysick. He spreads his spit all around your clit as he groups his first three fingers together and pushes them inside you. You moan from your chest, your elbows buckling from under you, your head and neck crashing into the plush pillows below.

Marcus’ thrusts are steady, not fast and not slow- almost painfully regular but they’re deep; every time he enters, he curls his fingers to reach that spot inside of you that makes your bellybutton tingle. Still holding your gaze, Marcus lowers himself so that his face hovers above your aching core. “Ohhhh she’s so pretty.” He places a wet, opened-mouthed kiss on your clit, suckling it into his mouth. 

As he pulls away, he pulls at your clit with his mouth, swirling his tongue in short, lazy circles. You plant your feet on the bed, pushing off to lift your hips, trying to follow his mouth. 

With his free hand, Marcus grips you hip, pushing you back down to the bed. The three fingers inside of you still, him flexing them slightly which brings a deep, hot burn, making your stomach flip. With a whine, you stop wriggling, knowing you’ll get what you need if you follow your general’s rules. 

With deliberate slowness, Marcus withdraws his fingers from you, the sounds created signalling how unbelievably wet you are for this man. One at a time he sucks your wetness from his digits, eye-contact unwavering. 

He hums, eyes fluttering and smile growing before scooching himself down the bed. He lays flat on his stomach, adjusting your legs so that they hook over his shoulders, and drags you by your hips closer to his mouth. “You get so fucking wet for me, my lady… you’ve made such a mess already.”  His hot breath coats you, right where you need his mouth, causing you to writhe. 

Marcus flattens his tongue and licks up one side of your outer pussy and down the other side. Using the grip of your hips as leverage, he pushes his face further into you. His nose brushes your clit as his tongue circles the opening of your cunt. He holds it tense, pushing and pulling it in and out of you. 

You try gripping onto the sheets by your sides to keep grounded. Don’t cum yet, don’t cum yet. It’s so good that you can feel yourself clenching around his tongue. Shifting, Marcus holds your clit in between his lips and licks using the tip of his tongue. You gasp, your hands releasing the sheets and grabbing two handfuls of his hair, pushing against him more as your orgasm comes to its peak. As you clench, you roll your hips against his face. He again finds your fluttering opening, enjoying the fruits of his labour.

The earth feels like it’s stopped and like it’s moving too fast at the same time. You lift your neck to see the artist at work just as he lifts his gaze too. He gives you a wink and you feel him smile against you before returning to his feast. “Shit Marc- general…” His eyes lock to yours, dark and still full of amusement. “I don’t know if I can keep going…” you thread your fingers through his hair, pulling so that you might have a moment to recover. 

His brows furrow as he gives a simple shake of his head. “I’m still hungry… one more at least my lady.” He returns licking and sucking at your clit and you tug harshly on his locks to which he quickens his pace.

Looking past him to his tight, round, ass you can see his narrow hips shifting up and down as he grinds his cock against the bed. You feel his thick, grouped fingers push slowly into you again. They’re quick and move at the same speed as his hips. 

Marcus shifts, one of your legs falling from his broad shoulders as he uses the strength of his full arm to fuck his fingers into you. 

“Yes, General Marcus…” you almost laugh, the heel of the foot around his shoulder digging into his back.  This seems to inspire the general. Using his pinky finger, he slowly strokes the tight muscle of your asshole, causing you only to keen further into him. 

Faster and faster, Marcus thrusts his fingers deep into you whilst lightly teasing your ass. You can feel his thrusts on the mattress below you, his rhythm becoming more choppy. As if you weren’t already floating, he again sucks your throbbing clit into his mouth and your ears begin to ring. Your hips raise and you push your man further into your pussy as you fall further and further into bliss. 

Marcus continues to suck as you come down from your high. Then shifting, he straddles one of your legs as he strokes his swollen, weeping shaft slowly as he cums all over your spent pussy. He wets his lower lips with his tongue when he comes, savouring your taste as he brings himself to the brink.

You shift up onto your elbows once again, looking down at the mess he’s made. You now wear your own shit-eating grin that rivals the one staring back at you. You cock your head to the side and shrug softly. “Not bad for an old guy…” you let yourself fall backwards again, ready for another lesson in respecting authority.

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I know I already texted you about vampire!paz but I was half-asleep last time, so I just wanted to do this more properly now that I’ve finally got some down time!!

So a couple thoughts I’ve had while reading and since then:

ok so first up, I love the vibe of the speakeasy! Also the whole blood donation thing? Actually really relatable, at this point I would probably at least consider it if I got disposable income out of it (especially if I get paz with it…)

Also vampire powers are so fun to me cause I too would be really fucking confused if someone told me to just utter a safe word without explaining that they have some sort of superhuman hearing abilities

DIN DJARIN MENTION 🥰

also the part of ‚if you didn’t know better you’d have thought he’s a werewolf‘ ABSOLUTELY. I guess that’s stereotyping vampires but damn that man just is so broad it would absolutely make sense to assume 😂

NOT HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER DARLING 🙈🫠

Also girl don’t be embarrassed, I don’t think anyone would be able to not zone out and stare at paz. But also not him being so smug about it 😭

On a different note, technically I can imagine how intimate feeding would be if it’s not … violent but somehow I also didn’t realise until reading this 🙈

NOT THE SMUT VISIONS 😭🫠 girly was so out of it that all potential embarrassment left her body and asked him to sit in his lap???? 10/10

also the surprise on my face when I realised that he was most definitely seeing all of that too???? I need him to stop being so smug cause it’s making me blush too much at this point

love the lore at the end!! Especially the concept of telepathic connection between them 😭

THE CAT!!!! I love biscuits already 🫶🏼

And finally… can I be stuck with him too?? 🙈

You know, when you told me the what this story was gonna be about, I was already intrigued but damn I wasn’t prepared for being even more intrigued after reading it. I’ve literally been thinking about this every day since you posted it !!

the fact that the London Meetup (tm) is confirmed makes this like the best time to answer it!! 👀😂 I am so so happy you liked vampire!Paz!

Honestly, I got the idea from a friend who always goes and donated blood or plasma because the fee you're getting is really good and I just sat in the train like ... "This ... but with Paz ..." and that is how vampire!Paz was born 😂 And like any version of Paz, he needs to have a fluffy companion! I really hope I will write more of him because the ideas I have about Bicuits' shenanigans are insanely hilarious, if I do say so myself lol

And the smut visions will only get worse better realer from here on out 👀👀👀👀

Thank you so so much for reading!!

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I’ve read what if (part 2) yesterday and I’ve actually been re-reading a bunch of your old stories which is why I didn’t have time to send you a message yesterday 😅🙈 (btw.. roommate!paz is now once again living rent free in my mind)

Now, about what if: I’m just gonna jump right into talking about some of my favourite parts. Mind you, this is a non-conclusive list because (sadly) I can’t just quote every sentence back at you and tell you why I love it or find it funny and relatable, etc. because then this would probably take forever and be an even longer message than it already is 🙈

So here we go:

Somehow that kind of request made you even more nervous. […] You stepped against him, ignoring your shaking hands as you stood on your tiptoes and ran your nose over his neck. Yeah that is way more nerve-wrecking! Just being all up close to his neck? Intimate as fuck (where can I sign up?)

your nose brushing against the spot just under his ear and he groaned. The sound, low and deep, made you tremble. listen may, we’ve barely just started and I’m already going insane 😭 10/10 would love to make this man groan just by doing that.

Paz smelled so much better now that he had a hint of you on him, you found, and you made a mental note to keep up this scenting practice for as long as he would let you. oh reader, I get it. I, too, would fall in love with that man after knowing him for like a day. (Also love the lowkey possessiveness)

“So … no sex then,” you concluded, trying to keep your sadness out of your voice. „Disappointed?“ OH I KNOW HE FELT SMUG ABOUT THAT! The duality of this man to be a big softie and the cockiest man alive? 10/10.

“You are coming to my bunk tonight. You will bring nothing but your softest robe, your favourite snack. I want you naked when I arrive, understand? Naked and waiting for me. […]“ yeah I’m dead now. Following instructions has never been this easy actually. Also the snack part? Big teddy bear man. That’s why I love your Paz.

By now, you knew your friend long enough to know when he was teasing you. And the twinkle in his eyes told you that Chants was in teasing mode. “He is quite big, isn’t he?” way too relatable. if your friends don’t these you when you’re having the biggest crush on a man, are they even your friends? I can’t even be mad at chants cause friendly teasing your friends is funny as fuck 🙈

“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “I don’t think any of the other alphas left their capes for their calmers. Maybe something is different about you two?” Oh he is in LOVE! Look at the two idiots just being down bad for each other, now they just need to tell the other.

daydreaming about what it could be like to be Paz Vizsla’s omega. Me too, reader. Me too.

You squeaked in surprise when you sank in way more than you had expected. Testing the softness, you found that not only was his bedding incredibly soft, no, but the mattress was much softer than the standard issue as well. Inevitably you smiled at the realization that Paz Vizsla just kept on surprising you. Your big warrior was a big teddy bear. yeah he is! I love the idea of establishing how soft he is via his choice of mattress. Also, there is something so deeply intimate about learning about a person by being in their room. And paz letting reader into his private space without him even being there? You can just tell they are really comfortable with each other 🥺

what if you accidentally had walked into someone else's room who had the same arrangement with their calmer? always funny when there’s a sentence where my brain goes „haha, my anxiety would say that too!“

“Believe it or not I actually like soft things, too.” JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE ALREADY. …Maybe I’m reaching but my brain went „oh soft things .. like LOVE and reader 🤨“

“Maybe I can see your nests, one day,” he suggested lowly, his mouth brushing over your jaw and down your neck. how do you expect me to be normal when I read this?? 🫠

“Someone too shy to say it?” he teased you, the slight mocking undertone making you wetter than you wanted to admit. How did this man have this effect on you? Strong, lovely and in charge? The perfect man actually. Never thought I’d ever appreciate a mocking undertone but damn…

“Now be a good girl for me and play with your tits,” he instructed, his tone leaving no room for questions and you followed. OKAAY, that’s one way to effectively change the conversation 🙈🫠

“Use your words.” Hot. No further notes.

“You just love to embarrass me, don’t you?” […] „I do,” he agreed and could feel his breath on your folds, the breadth of his shoulder between your legs as he slowly thrust his fingers in you, “Something about corrupting a sweet innocent omega like you makes my cock so hard.” I think I might actually never recover from this story. This whole story will probably be stuck on my head for forever now.

Also, hitting me with „“Look at that,” he marvelled, “Yesterday you weren’t sure whether you could come on my fat cock, and now you are begging me to let you come on my tongue.” Another well-placed opened-mouthed kiss against your clit and you broke apart.“ and then „Are you crying, omega?” […] Fuck,” he murmured, his warm forehead falling onto your lower belly, “that shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.” within like 3 paragraphs??? I don’t even know what to say, this is making me feel so many emotions!!

“You did so good for me,” he repeated affectionately, “’m so proud of you, sweetheart. Using your words, following my instructions.” Again, I don’t know what to say besides.. 🫠

“I want a kiss,” was all you could say and he chuckled, leaning in to give you a kiss that had you sighing against him, melting even more into the sheets. Idk why specifically this part (cause the smut was amazing) but this just gets me so much every time I reread it🥺🥺🥺

And despite the lack of words, it seemed to work.LOOK AT THEIR CONNECTION, THEY DONT NEED WORDS 🥺😭

This was how he was, it occurred to you, that Paz Vizsla did not need to secure his dominance in any sudden way because he was secure in his dominance. It was never even a question for him whether he would be able to pleasure you. oh i hope you know how good you are at writing because I went „oh yeah, 100%. Literally every action by this man so far has been proof of this“

You would let this man do anything to you. if he’s anything like the way you write him? Yes.

“Say it.” if you could see the way I’m blushing right now, I think I would have to disappear forever

„You didn’t take me to the negotiations this morning,” you stated, unable to help the insecurity that scratched at your heart. GOOD JOB GIRLY. Bring back the topic he made you drop by seducing you, now that you can think again!

“Make sure you are okay being seen with a Mandalorian like me.“ okay, what if I start to cry?

And the “Can I kiss you again?” after he gets reassurance? 🥺🥺 I love when characters ask for physical intimacy when they can’t put things into words. Which.. understandable cause words are hard.

So, to sum up my thoughts: 10/10 this is amazing! literally had to stop myself again from including more quotes because I can’t just keep saying „hot“ every two seconds. Actually need these two to realise they are in love and act on it.

So yeah, I hope you had a nice start of the week! Cause I certainly had one thanks to this story

Oh hello! Believe me, I completely understand - I am currently obsessed with roommate!Paz and working on three little things about him at the same time (when, really, I should focus on the last part of What If 😂)

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, I am so so happy that you liked this part! Paz really is just my dream combination of a big, dangerous giant of a man that is secretly very soft for his love 🥺 (That and his skill for dirty talk is 👀🥵)

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

Okay so first things first: I’m sorry about taking so long to do this! But I FINALLY got some time to write down my thoughts for what if (part 1)! Every time I tried to sit down things got hectic again and it’s been annoying me endlessly, cause I’ve been looking forward to this for like 2 weeks now.

I’ve decided to split this up into multiple posts because it got a bit long. I hope that’s okay! 😅 and I think I should also warn you that I’m not the best of putting into words how stories make me feel, but I hope this is getting my feelings across anyway.

First of all: mixing the Calmer AU with a fix it AU? Sign me the fuck up! (Side note: I am almost over what happened in season 3 but only because I’ve lowkey started to view their Paz as the fanon!version of your Paz 😅😅🙈)

Also, another sidenote: I love when your stories feature your characters like chants and briggs because my brain always goes „oooh I know that name“ (same goes for Dreks… who will forever be a dick in every universe). (Part 1/5)

Putting the rest of the asks under a cut because I am LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO SWEET:

Okay okay, but now for the actual commentary:

“Maybe because they will use any chance they get to exploit the innocent omegas of other clans.”You frowned, not liking any of Axe’s implications. Were omegas of Djarin’s tribe not innocent? Did he think you were incapable of defending yourself?” EXACTLY. AXE NEEDS TO SHUT UP! I was so happy that you immediately noted that cause i legit immediately went „what are you trying to imply, man 🤨“

And about Paz.. him immediately being offended and also „What startled you most, however, was how big that man was.“?? 10/10 no notes, immediately the perfect vibe

And then, „When you heard your name called, it was like you were in the clouds. Far away from everything and everyone. Maybe you could still say no, maybe you could just go and disappear forever. […] What if you weren’t good at the whole claiming thing at all and your failure resulted in a war that was to last centuries?”That is such A MOOD. I, too, would sign up for something and then when it’s happening, realise that it’s real and have my anxiety kick in hard. and the way you describe the feeling is soo realistic??? My anxiety would yell those exact things 😅 (No seriously, I texted my bestie the other day that I’m not prepared for my tutoring session because what if people actually show up 🤦‍♀️)

“Paz Vizsla was a warrior through and through and it showed in the way he was sitting too. He took up almost all the space on the little bench and even when he was sitting down and you were standing up, he seemed so much bigger than you?” HOT. that’s it, that’s my notes on that. 10/10, the size kink for fictional men is clearly a part of my personality now and I am okay with that.

“taken aback by how gentle he sounded. He did not look gentle. He looked dangerous”. Again, 10/10. The appeal of someone looking tough but being a secret teddy bear is honestly always amazing and I love that it’s happening here. (2/5)

“I don’t bite, you know?” “I suppose the helmet would make that very hard,”. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUR WRITING 😭 (reason number 1 of ♾️). This genuinely made me laugh out loud. Like, it was funny and also immediately made me go “don’t say that to the intimidating guy, you dumbass 😂”

And then the “Do you not think I should know the name of the omega I am about to make very happy?”???. OKAAAY, no reason to be so cocky my guy. I do love the banter in your stories though. It makes the connection between your characters feel so fun, dynamic and honestly real.

And then you immediately hit me with “as an endearment,” […] “Not because I won't know your name.” I’m pretty sure if you listen closely enough, you can hear me swoon from all the way over here in Vienna, cause I’m now a puddle that is yearning for this man.

And just generally, I love how you make Paz so soft and considerate. (Like making sure that reader is actually fully on board with this). Because that is a big strong warrior and I feel like the obvious way would be to make him just cocky and this intimidating badass (which isn’t a bad thing, if someone wants to write that!) but you just make him feel so grounded and comfortable as a character.

Also, I’m rereading this in order to pull quotes from the text, and I just got hit with “are you wet” and DAMN MAY. I knew that was coming but the mood shift still hit me like it the first time. Again, 10/10.

“Maybe a little bit,” that’s such A LIE! I just know that reader is melting on the inside!

Also, I love when these ‘downplaying moments’ immediately get followed by getting a description of how it definitely affects reader more than they are letting on in that moment. It makes me feel like I have fun inside knowledge. (3/5)

PAZ WITH TATTOOS! PAZ WITH TATTOOS! I LOVE YOUR MIND.

“Shocked at your own daydreams, you tried to focus instead on what you could see and not the images your brain came up with.” Me too, reader. Me too. Very relatable.

“Stars,” he hummed, thick fingers settling on your tongue and pushing down, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we, omega?” genuine question… are you trying to kill me?

I was gonna comment on the next couple sentences as well but I cannot put into words how this makes me feel 🫠

“No one is watching us,” he assured you, pushing his fingers back in your mouth, “No one is looking at you, omega. Wanna know how I know?” […] Because everybody knows I don’t share […]” May, I may not have the words or the knowledge to give actual writing feedback to anyone but I hope you’re aware that your writing is incredible. Because this has me HOOKED.

AND THE “Thank the stars it was you,” he whispered, running his wet fingers over your lips, “I hoped it would be you.” don’t mind me, I’m just crying over here because this is the softest thing ever and I love gentle, sweet men more than anything 😭 and the reassurance that follows like three paragraphs later?? Such a sweet vulnerable moment between Paz and reader that manages the balance between smut and sweetness so well

The trope of “what if it won’t fit?” gf x “I will make it fit” bf? Made for Paz and I will stand by that statement. And just… the smut? I can’t quote it here because it makes me blush and stare at the screen too much but damn… I love your writing so much 😭

And lastly, the last paragraph: nothing better than having the gentle giant calling his partner “love”🥺 (4/5)

Okay, so this was my (not so) condensed review of the new story. I had to try very hard to not just quote every line and tell you why I love it and why I think it’s works so well 😅

Anyway, final thoughts because this is soo long already:

10/10. I genuinely love your writing and this story is just another example why I love it. The way you write makes me actually experience the emotions while reading and be completely submersed in the story. Also, I am not at all a reader of romance novels (or generally books where romance is the main plot), but if you were to ever write a full on romance novel (or any book for that matter), I promise I would be the first person in line to buy it and tell everyone about it. Just like I will always be excited to read any story you want to share here on tumblr/ao3! You’re truly one of my favourite authors and I hope you know that your work will always be appreciated 🧡🧡🧡 (5/5)

___ HOw dare you ask me how I am doing when this basically made me cry in public 🥺😭 Reading this is EVERYTHING and just reminds me every time why I love to share my writing with you all. It made my entire weekend!!!! I am so happy you liked and I am so so so so SO lucky to have people liek you engage with my little ramblings on the internet 🥺

[maybege]

Ahhh thank you!! 🥰🥰

Here Comes The Bride II - Claim

Summary: On your way to wherever Paz wants to take you, you are attacked. Again. (Part 2 of Here Comes The Bride)

Pairing: alpha!clan leader!Paz Vizsla x omega!fem!Reader

Wordcount: 3.7k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, Western-esque AU, friend to enemies to lovers, mentions of forced marriage, Reader is being attacked, A Kitten, yearning, I just packed out all the tropes of like Cowboy romance novels, I think

Welcome to Part 2 of 4 of this short series for @clydesducktape May Writing Challenge! This week was a struggle because a heatwave has decided to appear and my brain refuses to work during temperatures above 25 degrees. However, today I had a burst of inspiration so we get quite a big chapter with lots of things happening and even some backstory on Paz 👀 As always, let me know what you thought in a comment or reblog!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“Let me down, you – you big …. Buffoon!”

The alpha only laughed, his entire body shaking as he handled you like a sack of potatoes. Panic and frustration and bile rose up in you, being carried down a hill to where they presumably had their camp. Your hands pounded on his strong back and you were ashamed to admit that your eyes remained a bit too long on his butt.

“Paz Vizsla,” you tried again, wriggling in his grip which only led to his hand gripping dangerously close to your behind, keeping you secure over his shoulder, “Let me down this instant or – oh!”

Your complaint turned into a squeak as he set you down. The ground was sandy under your feet, the gravel giving way and before you clasped your hands on his forearms, gripping onto him with all your might until you were sure you had found your footing. Everything was turning, still, and with Paz’s all too familiar scent in your nose, your body wanted nothing more than to curl up into him.  

It was the first time you saw him since he had left the clan, the first time you could really look at him. He didn’t look that different, still as massive, still as giant, still as kind. He had that soft look in his eyes and the crinkles next to his eyes betrayed his mirth at seeing you again. The dust of the desert had settled in a layer on his clothes, the dark blue fabric of his bandana protecting the lower half of his face.

You watched as he shimmied it down his jaw, revealing his handsome face and the stubble you yearned to feel under your fingertips. If only the circumstances were different. If only it could be like before.

“It’s been too long, ‘mega,” he grinned, his hands under your elbows helping you stand, “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

It was all you could do not to gape at him. Happy?

“You expect me to be happy under these circumstances?” you hissed, “Only the great Paz Vizsla could have the audacity to speak to me like that after all you’ve done. What do you think you���re doing?” you looked around, “What? Am I – Am I kidnapped now?”

“Kidnapped is such an ugly word,” he tilted his head, a smile still on his face, “How about we say I am taking you on an adventure?”

“You are aware I am to be married in two days’ time?” you did not hold back on the disdain in your voice.

“Of course, I am,” he scoffed, leading you to the horses, your arm finding its way through his like it had done dozens of times before, “That’s why I am here.”

“I suppose you want to claim me for yourself, then, just to bring my buir into an even more of an impossible situation,” you huffed, anger building up in you, “As if me having to marry Dreks wasn’t enough damage already.”

Paz stopped dead in his tracks, his scent spiking with anger. You stopped with him, ignoring the other riders around you.

“Believe me,” he growled, stepping so close to you, you could feel his breath on your face, “If I intended to claim you as my own, you would know, omega. There would be no mistaking of the way you belong to me once I’d be done with you.”

Your breath hitched, your chest rising and you winced when the edge of your corset made itself known again by stabbing into your lower back. Fucking ties.

That seemed to get his attention.

“You are uncomfortable,” he stated, a knot between his brows, “What is it? Did I hurt you? Did they,” he swallowed, “Did any of my men hurt you? Tell me, I will find the man responsible and make him pay.”

“It’s nothing,” you muttered, feeling frustrated with how much you trusted him, how your entire being seemed to gravitate towards him just by being near him, “It’s just – it’s my corset, the ties are wrong and –“

“Do you want me to retie it?”

“What?”

“Do you want me to retie it?”

“Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is, Mr Vizsla?”

“You have called me by my first name for many years now, love,” he teased you, “And I assure you, your honour won’t be tarnished, unlike your backache if you don’t get your laces retied. After all, you can always say the big bad alpha forced you to have your corset retied.”

Something about Paz Vizsla calling himself a big bad alpha made you snort and the way he beamed at your laugh should be illegal considering how it made your heart race for him.

“C’mon,” he murmured, his forehead brushing against yours, his body shielding you away from the unforgiving sun, “Let me help you, ‘mega.”

And how could you ever say no to him?

You nodded wordlessly, your body yearning for some relief from the discomfort that quickly turned into pain with every step you took. Paz did not say anything more, simply leading the way to what you presumed to be their basecamp that was already full of people packing everything up.

Paz guided you to a little wooden chest that functioned as a chair at the same time. “Here, love, hold up your blouse and I should be able to retie it.”

You did not answer him but simply sat down, making sure to hold the front of your dress in place and Paz crouched behind you, quickly undoing the back of your dress. The way his calloused fingertips brushed over your back sent shivers down your spine and you hoped he did not notice the way your thighs squeezed or how your scent changed.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in,” a warm voice greeted you as a man sat down by a died out fire, chewing on a grass halm, “My favourite couple reunited.”

You recognized the dark-haired man as Din Djarin, someone who used to be a warrior for your father’s clan, like all the men you had seen here so far.

“Paz Vizsla is a traitor and nothing more,” you grumbled, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat when you could feel him carefully pulling the ties from your corset, your body finally feeling free to breathe again, “He left my father alone when the clan needed him most to form a clan of his own and all you warriors joined him and now,” you swallowed thickly, “Now I have to marry this di’kut Dreks so the clan has the strength it needs in case of conflict.”

Din huffed out a laugh and you glared at him, “What is there to laugh about, Djarin?”

“Only that you think this is all Paz’s fault when it is really quite the opposite.”

You frowned, trying to turn around. Hadn’t it been him that had just one day announced his departure from the clan? Hadn’t it been him that had left you without saying goodbye? Hadn’t it been him that your father had named as the reason for your marriage to Dreks?”

Paz didn’t say anything, his large fingers nimbly working on your corset as he muttered something under his breath you did not quite catch. His hands were warm and dry, working slowly and forcing you to stay still.

“Won't you say anything?” you asked him, trying to keep your composure, “Is it true?”

“Truth is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?” he grunted and you could feel him relacing the corset, pulling it just tight enough, exactly how you liked it.

“It isn’t,” you said, “That’s the point of it.”

“Well, it won’t matter to you anyway, we’ve got places to be, sweetheart,” he said and you could feel and hear him standing up behind you, “All done.”

You looked up at him, feeling confused. All this time you had been hurt that he had left you, that your friendship didn’t seem to mean as much to him as it meant to you. But Din’s words had sowed doubt in your heart. Doubt and hope that maybe you did mean something to him.

His eyes did not meet yours. “We need to get going,” he said to Din, “She will ride with me. Tell the men to get ready.”

*

You had made it your mission not to speak to any of them, still too rattled by the day’s events to really care to catch up with them even if you had known them for many many years before they had left with Paz.

Paz who had sat behind you on the horse, his legs caging your hips as his body rhythmically moved against yours, his arms around your middle as he held the reins. If you had not been so confused, your cheeks would have been flaming hot with being so close to the alpha. After all, here was a man you may or may not have been pining after ever since you had first met him, and whose close presence had never ceased to make you flustered.

But spending the whole day riding with him may have been an old dream of yours but it did not help to distract you from your worries. Your biggest being what they would do to Paz should your father and Dreks find you. Your second biggest being if you still had to marry Dreks after all of this. And only then did you question where they would take you.

As soon as the sun settled, so did the cold and you were careful not to stray too far from the warm fire. The flames illuminated the stones of the hills surrounding you and, in the distance, you could recognize the mountain range you had passed a few days before with Briggs.

If you could make your way there, then maybe …

The men were talking amongst themselves in low voices, sometimes glancing at you, sometimes at Paz who was stoically slurping some broth from the bowl, not talking to you at all.

“I need to relieve myself,” you announced, adding when one f the guards stood up, “In private.”

“Let her,” Paz grunted, still not looking at you which frustrated you more than it probably should, “It’s not like the desert is more welcoming than we are.”

Yeah sure, Vizsla.

You sent a triumphant look to the still hesitant guard before stomping your way to the very edge of the camp behind a bush, crouching there to get a better lay of the land. It was darker here and you could barely see

Something rustled in the grass next to you and your heart froze. What better sign to leave than almost being attacked by a wild animal?

And so, you hurried away, making a few tentative steps and when no one came barrelling after you, you started to run, guided by the light of the moon and the hope that someone was already searching for you. Maybe not all was lost if you made your way back in time. Maybe you could avoid conflict with Paz’s clan. Maybe you could store this encounter with him somewhere in the back of your mind, ready to whip out the memory of him touching you whenever you were lonely and thinking of what would have happened, had you stayed with him.

Someone crashed into you so fast that you did not know where up and down were anymore.

You tried to scream but a warm hand settled over your mouth just as you noticed the heavy weight of another body on top of yours. And a scent that tugged at your heartstrings.

“You’ve certainly got enough fight left in you,” Paz rumbled, his body resting on yours completely, encouraging your thoughts to stray into an indecent territory, “I shouldn’t have underestimated you like that and for that, omega, I apologize.”

It is important to choose your battles, your grandmother always said, and it is important to know when you have lost.

This was certainly a loss on your side.

“How did you know I would run away?” you asked, a bit surprised when his hand grasped yours, gently pulling you up. But he did not let go of your hand, instead, his thumb slid over your palm, inspecting it for any scratches from the gravel that made you shiver.

“I didn’t,” he replied, “But I smelled your fear and I was worried.”

He smelled your fear. You frowned. “But I was so far away, I … “

Paz shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck and looking almost bashful. “I always smell you,” he admitted and then turned around, “Are you coming or are you going to make me carry you again?”

You huffed, the corners of your mouth quirking up. “I should make you carry me just to cause an inconvenience.”

“See, that is where you’re wrong,” he rumbled, his hand brushing against yours in the dark, “Being near you isn’t an inconvenience.”

“What did you do with Briggs?” you asked the question you had been too scared to pose during the ride, “Is he – is he safe?”

“He is,” Paz confirmed quietly, “We tied up the driver but Briggs was free to go and seek help. By now, I am sure they are both well-fed and rested and worrying about your whereabouts.”

“Aren’t you scared he recognized you?”

“Why should I be?” he asked, turning to look at you, “Are you worried he recognized me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you muttered, your ears heating up in shame at being caught, “I was just wondering, is all.”

“Sure, omega,” he grinned, “You were just wondering.”

*

The next day you continued your journey into the unknown, your part riding its way through the desert. Much to your relief, Paz had not really made your attempted escape public knowledge and while he did stay closer to you (sleeping next to you, sitting next to you and continuing to ride with you), it was not that you minded his presence in the least.

Quite the opposite, actually, considering that his looming figure next to you just tempted you to reach out your hand and touch him and feel him and maybe you could scent him and he could scent you and –

The horse under you stopped and you shook your head, trying to get rid of the thought of him touching you in the most scandalous ways.

“What’s going on?” you asked when you noticed that everyone had stopped and the look on Djarin’s face was too close to Brigg’s the day before to ease your mind in any way.

“We have company,” Paz muttered, getting off the horse and helping you down as well. His hands were large on your waist and you stepped closer to him, your nose almost brushing against his throat.

“Stay behind me,” he instructed you, keeping you between him and the horse.

“Excuse me, stay behind you?!” you hissed, “You got me here in the first place and now I am to believe that you will be the one protecting me? For all I know, they could have come here to save me!”

As the first men of the came into view, racing down the hills, you knew they were certainly not there to save you.

“You still want to greet them with a welcome party?” Paz joked and you huffed, shuffling a little behind him, just in case.

They ran over you like a herd of banthas.

One second you were clinging to Big Blue’s reins, trying to keep him safe and stay behind Paz and the next you did not know where Paz was as you were surrounded by strange men trying to fight the warriors of Paz’s clan.

A gunshot had you flinching and you spotted a tall man that looked at you, directly at you and your heart froze. This was not a good sign.

“My my, what do we have here?” he grinned, approaching you.

And with no one you knew in sight, the only option you had was to run for the hills. Literally.

You picked up your skirts, hurrying up the slight slant of the hill in the hops of shaking him off.

“Where are you going, sweet omega?” he called, mocking you, “We could have some fun together, you and I!”

“No thank you,” you replied, your breath huffing as the hill got steeper and steeper. The sounds of the fight were roaring in your ears and you tried to think of something to do other than run away. Because you could not run forever, that much was clear.

A hand snared around your ankle as you tried to climb up a particularly high rock and you shrieked, kicking out your leg and hitting his writs in the process. The man cursed, a snarl on his face and you tried to crouch away from him, falling on your bottom when he pulled at the hem of your skirt.

Panic filled you and you leaned away from him, looking around to try and find anything to fight him off. Your hand closed around a rock and as he heaved himself up, you threw it at him, managing to hit him right on the forehead.

“You bitch!” he shouted, rage dripping off his scent, “Little omega slut, don’t you know what your place is?!”

You whimpered, hurrying to stand up and run away from him but his arms wrapped around your legs and you went down with a scared shriek. You tried your best to kick him away but his grip was too tight and as you rolled over, it only resulted in him getting into a better position to restrain you.

Your heart raced in fear as you feverishly tried to think of something – anything – you could do to get free. But your mind and body were frozen with fear as you realized that this disgusting alpha had the upper hand.

Suddenly, the weight disappeared from you and you felt like you could breathe again. You turned on your back, hurrying to sit upon the rock and get up and run when you saw Paz looming over your attacker, his fist hitting the man’s face repeatedly as his scent hit your nose. Rage, mostly, but also fear and panic and something warm that made your heart bloom.

You sat there, your chest heaving with breaths as you watched him beat the man’s face into a bloody mess.

“Touch her again and you’re dead,” he growled, shaking out his fist, letting the man make his stumbling escape down the hill with disdain in his eyes. And then he looked at you.

You froze, just staring at him with wide eyes.

He looked … Stars, he looked angry. Angrier than you had ever seen him and even perched on the rock with him a step below you, it looked like he was towering over everything and everyone.

“Are you okay?” he asked you, his voice rough and deep and sounding so much like Paz it made your heart ache, “Omega, look at me. Are you okay?”

“You, uh, you saved me,” you muttered, still reeling from what had happened, “You – He – He wanted –“

“I know,” he whispered, stepping closer to you, “But he didn’t and he won’t get a chance again. Here, let me,” he reached out to you and you let him help you down the rock, remaining standing with his hands on your hips and your chest against his.

“I am so sorry,” he murmured, his cheek against your temple, “I am so sorry I lost sight of you. I told you I would protect you and yet –

“You saved me, alpha,” you interrupted him gently, putting your palm on his chest and feeling his rapid heartbeat, “You protected me just like you said.”

“Yeah but –“

“Meow!”

You both frowned, your head turning to where the noise had come from and there, stumbling out of a little bush, was the tiniest kitten you had ever seen.

“Oh,” you breathed, immediately crouching (falling, more like) down to your knees so you could inspect the little thing, “Hello there.”

The kitten bounced straight into your arms, rubbing its tiny head on your knuckles and you looked up at Paz who looked just as dazed as you felt. “She is alone,” he muttered, kneeling down before you.

As if it knew it had some convincing to do, the little furball climbed over your lap and into Paz’s, being welcomed by hands large enough to hold it in one palm and some pats that made it purr.

“If we keep her, I promise I won’t fight you anymore,” you heard yourself say, still rattled, “Please can we – can we keep her?”

The alpha looked up from the little furball gnawing at his fingers, his eyes meeting yours. You knew he knew you too well, knew that you wouldn’t fight him anyway because as much as you stated the opposite, you enjoyed Paz Vizsla’s company. You always had.

And he proved to you why when he tilted his head, his scent washing over you. “We can keep her,” you heard him say, the deep baritone of his voice sending shivers down your spine, “Of course, we can keep her, sweetheart.”

He deposited the kitten into your lap, his form throwing a shadow over you. He was so close and all you could think about was that you wanted him closer. This was Paz, the alpha you had admired from afar for so long and even if he had formed his own clan he was still … he was still him.

Din called for him from a few yards away, busy sorting through the belongings of the men. Paz grumbled, still kneeling in front of you, his fingers brushing over the kitten’s soft fur. You watched his hand move, going from little pats to brush over your wrist, his fingers closing around your hand and turning it around, inspecting your knuckles that were already starting to swell.

“Remind me to teach you how to throw a proper punch, love,” he whispered, raising your hand to his lips and you stared at him as his lips brushed over your knuckles, his eyes on yours.

And the warmth that seemed to have permanently settled in your heart, seemed too warm to ignore it now.

[maybege]

MISS MAAM YOU FUCKIN KILLED ME WITH THE HOTCHER BLOWJOB OF A LIFE TIME ON THE MF PLANE AND THE SEQUEL?!?!?!! Amazing, chefs kiss, 10/10. I will be patiently awaiting your next smutty goodness bc girl u got that shit down

Oh god thank you so much 🥰 I’m so happy you liked it!! And I will make sure to get some more Hotch goodness written soon 😌

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I just opened tumblr cause I wanted to tell you something but I’ll do that in a second message in a second, because I saw your new stories and this has priority!

First, the new boba story??? Insane. Didn’t know I needed this in my life but I absolutely did 🫠 one of the things I liked best (you know .. besides everything) was how he initially turned the offer down, and only went for it after it was clear that this was more than that. Cause like.. the teasing but also the respect in that moment? 10/10.

And then I see the Paz idea about underwear modeling??? I hope you know that this will haunt my dreams for forever now 🙈🫠

Helloooo! Oh what a pleasure it is to see your name in my inbox, I hope you’re doing well! 🥰 I’m so excited you liked the Boba story and noticed the little rejection detail 👀 That was really important to me because we all know he is an absolute King when it comes to consent and I think it’s super important to know that Reader really wants it 👀👀

As for the Paz idea …. Girl, I just had another filthy idea for that which I’ll post in a second because it literally has me blushing 😳 (also not sure if it’ll belong to the model idea or just a separate one altogether, we’ll see …)

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

Omg the way that new boba story made me go through so many emotions, like..The way I was so shocked when I read that he just went to sleep somewhere else 😭 like read the room man, nobody wanted you to leave!

And this: „Turns out, having his scent envelope you completely made staying mad at him significantly harder than you had been prepared for.“ made me laugh cause I was like hell yeah stay mad only to immediately go oh yeah that’s so relatable, there’s no way to stay mad like this 😂.

Everything that followed? Also Just so so good🙈

Hi my dear! I am doing good, how are you?

I am so happy you like part 2 of apocalypse!Boba! I like to think that he went and sat under a tree and tried to convince himself that he made the right decision while also knowing that his omega would have much rather have him stay with her 😂💀

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Thank you! Yeah there's going to be DRama! And many a good ol' Matt and Frank morality discussion.

Judex, Judicum, Infantem - Chapter 2

(Eventual)Reader x Matt Murdock x Frank Castle

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist | my masterlist

summary: You try to put Frank behind you and fall into bed with Matt. Unfortunately, now you also have to tell him the news that you're pregnant.

warnings: SMUT/18+ (don’t interact if your age is not in your bio) AFAB Reader. No use of Y/N. Mention of pregnancy. Pet names. Angst.

wc: 4,185

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on Tumblr to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platforms I currently post on are Tumblr and AO3. Thanks!*

Still a few weeks earlier

You rubbed the palms of your hands into your achey eyes as the words on your computer screen blurred again. After what went down between you and Frank a few days prior, you were having more trouble than normal focusing on tasks at work. The sparse amounts of sleep you’d gotten over the past few nights wasn’t doing you any favors either. Between bouts of crying over the “breakup” (If one could even call it that. You and Frank weren’t together) plus the way your brain kept drifting to replay every conversation you’d ever had with Frank over and over again in your head; you’d found it hard to get a restful night of sleep. Despite how your eyes burned and your body ached when you laid down in your bed each night, you just couldn’t get into a deep slumber.

It also didn’t help that your neck still had a crick in in from sleeping on the floor mattress at Frank’s shitty hideout. Or it was from having your spine twisted oddly as he railed you into bliss and oblivion? Or both?

Frank was clearly never going to come around and you knew moving on would be best, but wallowing in your own self pity was a maschochistic habit you just couldn’t seem to get out of. Also, if you accepted his feelings about the two of you and moved on, then you’d have to let go of the small glimmer of hope that just maybe you could be enough for him to finally want to move on with his life and love someone else. You weren’t sure you were ready to do that.

“Huh, I didn’t know they sold White Diamonds to anyone under the age of seventy.” A smooth voice cut through the buzzing in your brain, turning your attention away from staring at your computer.

“Murdock!” You exclaimed at the handsome figure leaning against the door frame to your office.

All too happy to see a familiar and friendly face to distract you from all the work you weren’t getting done, you gave him a look up and down as he stood before you. His navy suit was tailored perfectly to his lean figure and you couldn’t help but smile at how he adjusted the red-framed glasses on his face.

“I know you have a bloodhound nose there Mr. Murdock, but even I’m impressed you can identify the specific perfume I tried from a client gift basket yesterday.”

You rose from your chair to greet him with a hug. The way his taught, muscular frame enveloped you sent a jolt of butterflies through your stomach and you wondered if he could tell how his handsome charm flustered you every time you met. The clean scent of his cologne cut through the stale air of your office as you breathed him in. The wool of his suit was soft as you ran your hand down his arm and pulled away a bit.

“Mr. Murdock, really? Wow, okay. We’re going formal today? If I’d have known, I’d have worn my tux.”

Matt always seemed to always know just what to say to get you giggling.

“I figured I’d keep the illusion of professionalism at work. I mean, I could call you another name; starts with a D and rhymes with Shmare Shmevil”

Matt gripped at your elbow and spun you into your office, trapping you between his body and the wall.

Ow, that hurt your shoulders. That was definitely from when Frank had you—

“Watch it.” he chided with a lick of his lips.

His breath was warm against your face as he let out a dry chuckle at your surprised demeanor. He tilted his chin, searching for an answer from you.

“Sorry, Matty. Couldn’t help myself.” you giggled as he loosened his grip on you and took a step back, straightening his tie.

“Besides, even with out the alter ego and the super sniffer, only someone who is regularly intimate with women of that age range would recognize an Elizabeth Taylor perfume. Didn’t know you were into much older women.”

“Sweetheart, who I sleep with is none of your business.” Matt chuckled at your retort. “Besides, that kind of talk isn’t what I’d call keeping it professional.”

“Right, right. So what brings you in today?”

“Colleen emailed me. Said you had some new contracts that needed a look-through?”

The non-profit you worked for couldn’t afford to have a full-time lawyer on staff to review contracts and relied on pro-bono services to make sure everything stayed above board. Matt and your boss, Colleen, were buddies in college. Despite the fact he was a defense attorney and not involved in contract or non-profit law, she regularly roped him in to helping with the legal side of things.

“Right, I’ve got some of them pulled up on my computer right now if you have the time.”

“Always have time for you, old lady perfume and all.”

“Okay, now you’re just being rude!” you chided him

You held out your arm and led Matt to the conference room across the hall, letting him set up as you ran back into your office and grabbed your laptop. You had to take a deep breath before returning. Always flirty and confident, you were never bored when Matt was around that was for sure. But with your heart still pulling for Frank, it felt wrong to let yourself have even the little attention you knew Matt gave to nearly every woman he encountered. But still, you smiled thinking of spending the afternoon with Matt, even if it was just to review boring contract language. Maybe you were looking for any glimmer of hope that a man could actually desire you and not just push you away like Frank had.

“What’s this new clause in the contracts ‘public image addendum’?” Matt asked, listening to the details of the file via his screen reader

“You been following the news lately?”

“Yeah.”

“So you heard about the CEO of Caffeination Collective?”

“Yeah, but what’s a local coffee chain boss embezzling have to do with —”

“Well, Caffeination Collective signed a contract to be the main sponsor of our next gala three days before he got arrested. We tried to drop them, obviously, but they’re arguing we need to honor all the sponsorship placements of our contract despite the fact that they’ve shuttered all their locations and it looks like they won’t be back in business any time soon. Colleen thinks we should add a clause to all future contracts that if anyone we do business with does anything bad for PR, we can drop them.”

“Yeah, I’d say that’s a great idea.”

“She asked if you could review the language to make sure we’re covered going forward.”

Matt nodded.

“You know Caffeination Collective is headquartered in Hell’s Kitchen, right?” you added, spinning back in forth in your chair as you nursed your third coffee of the day

“Yeah, so?”

“Corrupt CEO disenfranchising employees and laundering money? Thought the Devil would have got to him before the cops.”

Matt adjusted his tie once more and grimaced at the mention of his alter ego, a pained look apparent in his eyes even as they hid behind crimson frames.

“Yeah well, I’ve been trying to lay low lately.”

“Since when have you ever laid low?”

“I have a lot of reasons to right now.”

“Hmm, sounds interesting. Shame you’re here to talk boring legal files, I’d love to hear more about it.”

Matt rubbed at the grey in his stubble and a crinkle appeared at the skin around his glasses as he smiled at you, hint of whatever troubled him at the moment washing away.

“Maybe if this doesn’t take too long, we could discuss it over dinner.”

“You’re incorrigible, Murdock.”

“And serious.”

“I don’t date lawyers. And I especially don’t date vigilantes.”

“You’re lying.”

Technically you weren’t. Frank was the only other vigilante you knew personally. While you’d just slept together the one time and had an odd ‘friendship’ before that, you had technically never dated him.

“Quit listening to my heartbeat.” you chided, tossing a paperclip towards Matt’s head, which he easily dodged

He chuckled.

“Come on. What is it? What’s the hold up?”

“I’m just too busy to get involved with anyone right now.”

“Oh, don’t give me busy.”

The air in the room suddenly felt warm as you mulled it over. You and Matt had always had great chemistry and the only excuse you really had was how desperately your heart was still hanging on to Frank.

“You deserve someone who can give you better.”

You knew you needed to move on. Frank made it clear he didn’t want to be a part of your life anymore after the two of you had crossed the line from whatever you had been to more.

And what better way to try than with Matt? Always handsome and suave and kind and funny. You knew the two men shared history and had complicated feelings towards one another, though you weren’t super clear on the specifics. You did not want to inform Matt of this situation and open that can of worms.

Fuck it.

“Fine, Murdock. Let’s get through these contracts and you can take me to dinner.”

Dinner turned into several rounds of drinks, which turned into a leisurely stroll back to your apartment. The restaurant he took you to was a cute French spot in Hell’s Kitchen, matching your love of cool and sophisticated with out being stuffy.You knew Matt was a flirt but were shocked with how easily the two of you connected. The whole evening felt natural, how care free and easy it was to just be yourself with him. In fact, you were having such a pleasant time with Matt, you hadn’t thought of Frank the whole evening.

“I honestly can’t believe the judge didn’t throw me out.” Matt concluded his story, a smile splitting across his face as he spoke

You let out a hearty laugh into the chilly night air as the two of you ambled down the quiet sidewalk through your neighborhood towards your apartment building. Matt’s hand was gentle as it held yours, letting you set the pace as he kept in step beside you.

“You always get away with the most asinine stunts in court. Only you Matty, would do something that would get any other lawyer a mistrial and instead win the case. And to play the whole blind card too in your defense? Classic. They let you get away with that?”

“Yeah, usually, actually.”

“Oh yeah, that’s the only reason you get juries and judges on your side.” your sarcastic tone had him shaking his head and grinning “It has nothing to do with how hot you are.”

Matt stopped, letting go of your had and facing you with a raise to his eyebrows as he leaned against his cane.

“You think I’m hot?” he asked, playfully feigning ignorance

You shook your head as you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“Of course I think you’re hot.” you replied “You know I do, even without all your stupid senses; that by the way, you still need to explain to me how that all works.”

You gestured towards his face and were met with a chuckle. The carefree way he tilted his head, taking in everything he could about you as you stood before him made you feel unshielded.

“Next time.” he said, voice low and thick

“Next time?”

“Yeah. I mean, tonight was great. I want to do this again, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah. Matt, I really did have a great time. It’s just…” you trailed off

“Who is he?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on sweetheart, you’ve been holding something back all night.”

“I have not—”

“Don’t lie.”

“Fine.” you contested with a sigh “There was someone. Recently. But he broke my heart. And told me to move on. And I’m trying.”

It was the first thought you’d given to Frank in hours; how kind his eyes were when he spoke to you, how the low gravel of his voice resonated through every nerve in your body when he muttered your name, how soft and gentle his hands were despite all the violence they inflicted. Then you thought of the conversation you’d had when you last spoke, how he just wasn’t ready for the love you wanted to give and how it just seemed so easy for him to walk away.

As Matt stood before you, earnest and flirty in a way that always wooed you into giddiness, you too thought of how similar the two men were. All the traits that made you fall for Frank, present in Matt, with just a little more of that “has his shit together” factor.

“But?” Matt inquired

“But as handsome and charming and electric as you are, I’m still hung up. And I’m sorry that’s not fair to you Matt. I shouldn’t have agreed to —”

“No it’s fine, look I had a great time tonight. I always do when I’m with you. We can put a pin in this, call it a night and not let hard feelings get in the way.”

“No, that’s not fair. To either of us. I shouldn’t let this chemistry between us fade out because of...” you paused, shaking your head and trying to find the right words “You and me, this could be a really good thing.”

“It could be.” Matt agreed “Plus, wouldn’t hurt in helping you win the break up?”

“Who said I want to ‘win the break up?’” you said, giving Matt a playful smack on his arm, which cause him to jolt and fein injury with a smile “It wasn’t even really a breakup, it’s way more complicated than that.”

“Hey, just another thing for us to get into next time.”

“You keep saying next time.”

“I do.”

“You really want to be a rebound?”

“I mean, I don’t have to be. We could just take this slower until you’re ready. See where it goes?”

Winning the breakup. What a childish concept. Still, knowing Matt and Frank had some kind of rapport with each other and getting just a little bit of revenge by getting with someone Frank was acquainted with felt like an enticing idea. Why not make things a little complicated and messy for Frank if word ever got back to him and give him a little taste of his own emotional medicine? Plus, as he had proven all evening, Matt always made you feel special anyway, so there was no harm in letting yourself have a little fun.

Fine.

“Or you could take me upstairs and fuck me until I forget about him.” you spoke, unwavering voice cutting through the background noise of sirens and traffic and every other noise you knew he worked so hard to tune out

You swore you could hear Matt’s heartbeat pounding from his chest and you didn’t even have his abilities. He tried to conceal his nerves behind a faint giggle as he contemplated your offer, searching for any indicator from you that you were joking. Whatever he sensed from you told him you were serious, as his nostrils flared and his hand to tightened around his cane. He licked at his lips and shook his head as he opened his mouth to speak, but it seemed words were lost on him at the moment.

Matt Murdock flustered. You never thought you’d see the day.

Was it so wrong to egg him on when he clearly wasn’t opposed to the idea? You decided not, rocking your feet forward and meeting your lips with his. You kept the kiss soft and gentle until his hand slid up your jaw, pulling you in more. Heat ignited in your bones as he kissed you back, trying to swallow down the low moan that was building in the back of your throat.

It took all his will power to pull away, even just a fraction of an inch to speak.

“Yeah, upstairs.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Now

The door to Matt’s office was cracked open just a little and you could see his silhouette sitting at his desk through the frosted glass. You hoped he couldn’t hear the shaky breath you released as you approached the door, still unsettled on exactly how you wanted this conversation to go. The dampness of your palms was enough to leave a residue on the brass door knob as you softly turned it to enter.

Matt was kind. Matt was a good person. Matt would handle this well.

“Matthew?”

He cocked his head as you pushed the door open, a smile spreading across his face as he heard your voice. The air felt stifling and hot as the setting sun cast the room in shades of orange. Matt looked like he’d been carved by gods in the tangerine glow; perfect forearms flexing slightly as he waited for you to enter the room, shown off beautifully thanks to his rolled-up sleeves. He had at some point in the day loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt just enough so that a small bit of chest hair poked through. The glimmer of the fading day reflected in the red glasses that sat on his face. His looking so delicious was how you got into this mess in the first place.

“Visiting me at work? We’re crossing into some serious territory here.” he jested, rising from his seat to lean over his desk and greet you with a soft kiss on your forehead “Unless this is Colleen just sending you over with more contracts.”

You glanced down at the grey carpet beneath you, chewing on your cheek as you ran over the words in your head you’d been rehearsing all the way over here. Tugging at your sleeve, you finally looked up to face him. The kind way his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you would usually put you at ease on any other day, but under the circumstances it only made you more nervous to speak.

“No no, this is a personal visit.”

Matt’s eyebrows rose in curiosity. It was late enough in the day that both Matt’s office and the city outside were in a lull of quietness, making you feel extra exposed to the way you could tell Matt was observing you. Scanning every element of your body for some kind of hint to where this conversation was going and you were certain the vibes were not great.

“Is everything okay?”

You let out a sigh as you sank in the chair opposite him, tapping your fingers on the wooden surface of his desk in front of you.

“Look, I know we both said we weren’t really in a place for anything serious and this would just be fun between the two of us, no strings attached but…”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you tried to continue without crumbling into a sobbing puddle. Matt licked at his lips as he waited to hear what you had to say and you were certain he could still taste the saltiness in the air from when you had wiped away your tears earlier. Squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to center yourself, you shook your head, let out a large exhale, then spoke.

“Matt, I’m pregnant.”

It came out as almost a whisper, strained from the tightness of your throat and how heavy it felt to say out loud. The tick of his jaw was the only indicator you had that he’d even heard you, as he stood there with his hands on his hips. He didn’t need to listen to your heartbeat to know you weren’t lying.

Never one to leave a moment of silence to linger, you couldn’t resist the bubbling up of all the hundreds of thoughts and you’d be having since taking the test. The carefully constructed phrases you’d rehearsed for this moment in your head were now lost to a cluster of intangible thoughts as you began to ramble.

“I’m so sorry, I thought I was being so careful. I mean I was. I was taking my pill on time every day and everything. At least, I think I was. You don’t have to say anything or do anything. I’m going to take care of everything myself. Unless you want to, I mean be involved or whatever. And I know this isn’t what either of us wants right now but I just never thought I’d ever have kids, like it wasn’t even on my radar and—”

Matt held out a hand, cutting you off. You sat there blinking, unsure what to do as you watched him pace around in a circle, large hand rubbing at the back of his head. His silence was troubling to you and it seemed each moment spent without knowing what he was thinking was taking an eternity. Was he angry? Or just in shock? Was he going to ask you to leave, never to speak to you again? Was he going to break your heart just as Frank had? Was this a big enough complication that made you worth discarding by someone you cared for again?

After what seemed like minutes, he rested his forearms against the back of his chair, turning his attention fully to you.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” he reassured. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Matt, you don’t have to—”

His hand came up again.

“Do you know what you want to do? Because whatever you decide, I’m right there beside you.”

“Matt, you don’t have to. I mean we’re not exactly at that stage of this relationshi—”

With a scoff, he shook his head and smiled. “No, sweetheart. I’m serious. Talk to me.”

He finally pulled out the chair from under him, sitting across from you and clearly ready to listen. You let out another sigh, resting your elbow on the desk and propping your head in it as you slowly spun the chair back and forth, even more antsy to how he’d react to what you were about to say.

“I want to keep it. I never thought I’d be a mom. Never thought I’d get the opportunity. But it took me all of five minutes after I took the test to calm down and I just knew.”

A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he listened to you ramble more.

“But Matt,” you continued “Please don’t feel obligated to do anything. I don’t want you to feel stuck or like you have to—”

This time he cut you off by reaching across the desk, taking the hand that was not supporting your head as it danced nervously across the desk in his.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I said I was beside you and I mean it. No matter what.”

“Are you sure, because —”

“I want this. Us. Together.”

“Together?”

Your heart clenched at the certainty in his voice. Matt’s eagerness to be with you, to make this work, had all the alarm bells going off in your head. This was not how things usually went for you; life, relationships, opportunities. No one had ever been this clearly all in for you without some form of repayment expected and you were just waiting for the catch of it all to come crashing down and break your heart. But then you remembered the other shoe that was about to drop and ruin this moment was the secret you still kept from him.

“Or,” Matt sensed your hesitation and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “We still don’t have to put a label on this. We can get you through the pregnancy and co-parent and just see what happens.”

“That… yeah that might be best. But um, Matt there’s one more thing.”

Matt’s eyebrows shot up over his red glasses as he tilted his head toward you.

“There’s a chance you’re not the father.”

You swore you saw Matt’s heart break into a million pieces as his face dropped and he sat back a little, letting go of your hand.

“Right…” he replied, looking more and more sullen by the second “We didn’t— I mean we never labeled this. You said you didn’t want to.”

“I’m so sorry Matt. But we agreed to keep things casual and if it makes you feel better, I only slept with him one time after you and I started—”

Matt nodded warily.

“Is it just one other guy or—"

“Matthew!”

“You can’t blame me for being curious!”

“It’s just one other guy.”

“Okay. It’s the one that you told me about, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you told him yet?”

“No.”

Matt rubbed at his chin, letting out a sigh.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.”

“No. I want this. Even if its not mine. Even if I have to co-parent with whatever other— I’m sure sweetheart.”

“You might want to rethink that”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I haven’t told you who else the father might be and you’re not gonna like who it is.”

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