#i don't think it's talked about enough that riku can just... DO THAT

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance Commands - Dark Roll

[yukimomodivorce]

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

[starmessngr410]

NCT WISH Scenarios - Types Of Crushes At School

Requested? Yes / No

My Own Idea? Yes / No

Disclaimer: These imagines are in no way depictions of the idols actual personalities, these are strictly for entertainment purposes. In these scenarios, the reader is gender neutral (as much as I can try) and is around the same age as Ryo and Sakuya. This I simply because I'm around that age, and it feels a little difficult to write it any differently. Also, I'll be writing with the mindset of a mix of an American and Japanese school, from what I've experienced and what I've heard from people. Let's also pretend that all of them would be able to go to school together for plot purposes. Also, sorry if some of them are a bit lackluster, I really just wanted to finish this in the time frame I set for myself. But, I hope everyone enjoys!

SION; Your kind upperclassmen - Sion is in your math class and sits near you. Near enough for you to develop a crush on him. But you would never tell him, of course, you would never tell anyone, except for your friend. You walk into math class early in the morning again, and you see Sion there as usual, but he seems a little tired this morning. You sit down at your desk and whisper over if he's alright. He says that he stayed up studying for a test in a different class and ended up forgetting to finish the homework. You tell him that he can look at your homework to get an idea before class starts in 10 minutes, and he asks if you're sure, but you assure him it's okay. You go through the rest of class and have a field day thinking about it all day. The next day, you walk into class and see something in your desk. It's a note and [your favorite fruit] juice, thanking you for the work saying that he would help you with anything you need when you need it. Man, if only he wasn't nicer, you wouldn't keep falling for him...

☆

RIKU; Your cute art partner - First meeting Riku, you never thought that you would get along like you did now. This is because, at first, he seemed to be very much into his own abilities, constantly hyping himself up. This, once you got know him however, was false. He mainly did it as a joke with his friends, and was genuinely just talented at most things. You found yourself being drawn to him more and more, he was also talking to you more, you noticed. You ignored this though, as you've never been so lucky for someone to like you when you like them. The next day in art class, Riku surprises you and asks to be partners for the next project. Though you both aren't extremely close, you aren't strangers to each other. And though Riku always usually pairs up with his friends for projects, he decides to pair with you the one time there's a romantic theme, oh how the universe hates you. You two meet at the library Friday after school so you both can work with extra time. You're already at the library, when you see him walk in with a bunch of art supplies. When he sits down, you tell him you're surprised he chose you for the project and that he brought so much stuff. He tells you first, that he wanted to get to know you more because he's noticed you don't talk a lot in class, and that he just wanted to be prepared with the supplies. This catches you off guard, 'you didn't know he noticed you in class before, had he looked your way without you knowing?'. You nod in acknowledgement, and get to work. Later in the day, you start to get a bit tired because you've been at school all day and it was getting colder, and Riku actually lends you his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. You're actually able to fall asleep a bit easier now that he was closer. He ended up stopping as well, and taking a nap right next to you...

☆

YUSHI; Your funny but nice P.E. partner - You were never good or confident in physical exercise, so Yushi always offers to be partners or do the exercises with you. Even though you guys only talk to each other during P.E. because of the shared class, you still find your heart fluttering a bit. Whenever he helps you, he's always so nice and patient. Today is no different, as this time your class is learning a new sport for the month. As usual, Yushi steps up next to you and offers to help you again this time. You, of course, agree, and he helps you stretch before the group game starts. You both start doing the activity and and you almost get hit by the ball, but as usual, Yushi hits the ball away from you. You thank him for protecting you and blocking the ball from hitting you, but he stops you and says that it's fine because he wanted to protect you. This made your heart fluttering a bit, but you convinced yourself that he was just being nice as a classmate and that that comment meant nothing. But you kept thinking about it, until the next day. When you get to P.E. the next day, Yushi's not there, but his friend is there before class. He gives you a note from Yushi. It says to meet him behind the bleachers after class!...

☆

JAEHEE; Your caring baking partner - You're new to the school, and you got into baking class. You're excited, but you don't know much about the school. That is until you get put in a group with Jaehee. You used to know Jaehee before when you were both little, but ended up losing track of each other. When you finally meet him again, you guys catch up and start being able to keep in touch again. The next day in class you both talk before you have to start baking. The whole group did a great job working with each other, the baking teacher even said that your pastry was really good! However, the dishes... No one wanted to do them, and sensing this, both you and Jaehee volunteered to do them. You were a bit annoyed at first, but eventually you both start to have fun cleaning. When you both get to the dishes, you decide to wash while he dries. You start talking about how you two were so close when you were little, and how you missed spending time with him. This makes Jaehee pause, 'what did you mean by that?'. He was about to ask you, when one of your other group members walks back into the cooking room, and tells you both to hurry before the bell rings for the next class. You look back at Jaehee one last time and say goodbye before leaving and taking off your coat. You tried messaging him when you got home from school that day to tell him that you were sorry for running out, but he didn't respond or open the messages to show it was read. This made you worried, 'after just getting back in touch again, did you make him upset by leaving early?'. The next day in baking class, you see Jaehee is already waiting for you before class like always, but he looks deep in thought this time. You notice he's holding something in his hand, 'is it for the teacher?', you think to yourself as you make it over to where he's standing. He stops you before you can even answer, and gives you the letter he was holding while looking slightly away from you. You accept the letter but look up at him in confusion, 'is this a confession?'...

☆

RYO; Your friend from childhood - Ever since you and Ryo were young, you've been inseparable. This continued into high school, you both luckily having most of your classes together. You both sit down in science class together and start talking about what you'll do after school. He suggests you both go to the arcade to play games together like you always do. You both look at each other with a glint in your eyes. After school ends, you both basically run to the arcade from the front gate of your school. Ryo beats you through the door of the establishment and brags the whole way to the counter, with a smug look on his face. When you both find a game (a racing one), you both sit down and put your tokens into the machine and choose your cars. When the game starts you both focus so intensely, you almost don't notice the mini crowd gathering around you both as a few minutes pass. As the last couple of laps end, they start to cheer, as you both get up from the seats the mini crowds start to clap and congratulate you both as you move on to the next game. One of them says something about someone beating their boyfriend in the game, and though you did beat Ryo that time in the game, you both aren't dating. And you guys are just best friends, right? But, when you both finally finish playing and walk over to the ticket counter, the person at the counter says that you and your boyfriend did well, to you. This caught you off guard, and you looked towards Ryo who was already looking towards you with a tint to his face. This caught you even more off guard, did...Ryo like you too?...

☆

SAKUYA; Your generous desk mate - Sakuya sits next to you in history class, and he always eats bread in class, which the teacher never says anything, so you think it's okay. He brings other snacks as well, like chocco cookies, and shares them with you. And since the teacher lets you pick your partners for projects, Sakuya always chooses you because you're not as greedy as your other classmates are with his snacks. When you two arrive at the café near your school early in the morning on Saturday, you already have all the supplies you'll need for the project. You both sit down and order while you work on the project. Sakuya orders a plate of crossiants and a cappuccino, and you order a slice of strawberry shortcake and a strawberry flavored drink. As you wait, Sakuya asks if you want to share his crossiants when they come, but you refuse and say you couldn't take any of his precious bread. When you both get your orders, he gives you a crossiant anyway, and you trade with a piece of your slice of shortcake. He eats the piece, and you eat the crossiant. You both don't say anything about it. The next time you both see each other in class, Sakuya shares his bread with you, and you think nothing of it. You get to the end of class and find out that Sakuya never shares his bread with anyone except you. Sometimes, you hear your classmates talking about how Sakuya might have a crush on you...

☆☆☆☆☆☆

[rosie-kairi]

*Walks in with a slushie* hey so after I sent that ask it made me come up with a whole idea I've come to call the Ghost AU:

Picture this, Ephemer and Brain are the only ones from the original 5 to rebuild keyblade society and live actual lives growing up getting married, becoming masters, and having kids. Yet despite that they're both weighed down by the guilt and despair believing they abandoned their friends to die when escaping the digital daybreak town.

So at the end of their lives all they want is to reunite with their lost friends. When they die Brain and Ephemer do find each other in the afterlife (or the final world) and they're so happy and they missed each other soooooo muuuuuch. Except there's one problem, they can't find the others. So they go searching the afterlife to find them.

This eventually leads them to Strelitzia who goes on to explain that actually they're all still alive. Ven, Skuld, and Lauriam ended up in roughly the same time period just spread apart from each other but worse than that they're all in a pretty bad situation. Determined to right their wrongs Eph and Brain go back to the mortal world to take care of their unfinished business. But of course, being spirits they can't directly affect or interact with anything so they can only do so much.

Ephemer goes in search of Ventus and Brain for Lauriam, and then they plan on finding Skuld together. Ephemer unfortunately finds Ven in the clutches of Xehanort and is helpless to stop the neo shadows from ganging up on him. He reads Xehanorts heart and tries to whisper in his ear this is wrong, you know this isn't right he's just a little boy please don't. Whether Eph recognizes Xehanort as his descendant or not is up to you (personally i think it should be riku but we're not talking about that) but fails to stop the split and can only watch in horror as Ven is ripped apart and left in a cationic state on the near brink of death.

Desperate to save him Ephemer searches for a light strong enough to help, and guess who he finds? On the night of Sora's birth as his heart makes its way to the destiny islands Ephemer guides him to Ven and asks for his help knowing that a pure light will give Ven time to regather his strength. You can also imagine his surprise when he sees Ven dropped off at Eraqus' residence. The only real way for Ephemer to interact with the wayfinders is to go in their dreams and ask them to look after Ven and succeed where he failed. His messages are cryptic on purpose to keep Ven's true identity safe but also forge the subliminal suggestion to keep the younger keyblade wielder safe. And then Ven decides to journey on his own and Ephemer would've had a heart attack if he wasn't already dead and tries and fails to get Ven to go back to LoD. Only to regret that when he sees Eraqus draw the keyblade he once wielded and left to Brain be turned on Ven (it's a real good thing Brain wasn't here for this because ghost or not things would've gone from bad to worse seeing his grandson pull a stunt like that).

All the subliminal messaging pays off when Terra and Aqua go all out to protect Ven but it's still not enough. Ephemer tries to stop Ven from sacrificing his heart in the meta battle pleading for him to stop but if he couldn't stop Ven at 11 he wasn't going to have much luck with him at 16. When the battle draws to a close all Ephemer can do to stop Ven from fully fading away is to once again guide him to a heart that will keep him safe. He whispers to Sora's heart take him and protect him and over the next 10 years visit his dreams encouraging Sora to be strong and save him which unintentionally feeds into his savior complex (whoops).

Meanwhile Brain successfully locates a much older Lauriam but is unable to stop him from becoming a Nobody (and as a ghost he tries to throw hands with Luxu who he clocks instantly but he's dead so all he can do is yell insults and curses). Brain can only communicate with Marluxia when he's standing in front of a mirror or a reflective surface it's the only time he's visible and can get Marluxia to hear him. He keeps trying to get him to remember who he is, a dandelion, a union leader, a keyblade wielder. He tries to apologize over and over for failing to help him when he needed it. For giving Lauriam hope of finding his sister and then not following through with his promise to help find her.

This obviously does not go well for Marluxia too ashamed to fully face what he has become and what he has done. His heart is in turmoil and anytime Strelitzia is mentioned has him storming away or breaking the surface Brain is reflected in. This all comes to a head in CO, where Brain keeps trying and failing to get Lauriam to wake up and stop his schemes, and even though Ven's heart is currently with Roxas at that time the bond is still there and it's the closest Brain has gotten to getting through to Marluxia. But all it does is bring more anger and despair so instead of waking up he buries himself deeper and succumbs to darkness fighting Sora.

Now Ephemer and Brain truly feel like they've messed up. Ven's heart is damaged and not in his body, Marluxia is gone but Lauriam didn't show up in the afterlife so they didn't get him back, and they still haven't found any sign of Skuld. Standing in the CoW even though Ven is asleep and can't hear or feel them the boys can't help but marvel at how big he is now, they smooth down his hair and readjust his jacket and cup his cheek and even though neither can actually feel anything it just feels so good to see him again. Occasionally they both enter his dreams just to check on him and make sure he's okay but they can't bring themselves to actually talk to him.

They realize Ven is likely the key to bringing their lost friends fully back so they split up once again this time Brain trails Xigbar to see what plans he has while Ephemer tracks down Ven's heart and has the talk from the previous ask with Roxas so when Sora wakes up Ven will be safe.

When Marluxia comes back and meets Sora it's much more intense. Even though Sora doesn't remember he now has Ven's heart and his presence is reaching out trying to connect with Lauriam deep inside. Ephemer is still whispering to Sora to free him, bring him back over his shoulder which just confuses Sora. And when trying to unleash the power of waking Ephemer can directly speak with Sora guiding him through the process to release Ven's healed heart. Both Ven and Eph thank Sora for keeping him safe all these years but Sora won't remember that part.

It all comes to a head in the keyblade graveyard where both Eph and Brain try to use their keyblades to divert deadly attacks just off course enough to miss giving the others but mostly Ven more openings to attack. When Marluxia is defeated for a final time he finally remembers everything and the gold bleeds to blue and he smiles and cries realizing that he didn't completely fail and sincerely thanks Sora for "protecting him" which he doesn't understand.

Then the big attack happens with all the keyblades getting launched and Ephemer appearing proper he lends his strength to Sora and again thanks him for "keeping him safe" which just confuses Sora even more (weirdo cryptic guys never explaining anything to him story of his life).

So in the end they finally managed to save Ven so one day two more to go. They now have to find Lauriam all over again because Streli confirmed he's still not dead and he finally got his heart back so he's all complete and continue their search for Skuld. Unfortunately, 5 very unwanted individuals materialize outta nowhere 4 of which should not look like no time has passed for them at all. So despite being departed souls Ephemer and Brain ready themselves to try and stop old enemies from hurting their friends, they somehow have to find a way to make more direct contact and likely jog some old painful memories.

How the rest of this plays out depends entirely on what holes Missing Link and KH IV fills going forward.

Ephemer and Brain when the Nightmare is never-ending.

FR that sounds like it would suck soooo bad for these guys. Universe just does NOT want them to win.

[azurajae]

Y'know, I've been thinking a lot lately about appearances and identity in regards to both Sora, Yozora, and the Nameless Star.

Both Nameless Star and Yozora say that the person we see as Yozora isn't really what he looks like. Nameless Star specifically says his heart was replaced by another and his form had changed beyond recognition.

You know who else had their form changed "beyond recognition"?

When I first watched the trailer, I just couldn't believe my eyes that this guy was Sora. Like I knew in my heart it was him, but my eyes couldn't recognize him. Judging by the reaction videos I watched, many people seemed to feel the same (it was only when he summoned the Kingdom Key that people were affirmed that it is, Sora). Compared to the lovable spikey haired boy we've grown to love, his KH4 appearance, it's almost like night and day.

Nameless Star talks about how her identity and name had been taken from her. Yozora seemed to have lost his identity too, no longer looking like his original form. And now Sora has been changed so drastically?

I know Nomura did say that Sora looks like this because he is in Quadratum, but even if that's true, it doesn't mean that there isn't also a very delibrate reason on why Sora looks like that and not more like... Sora. I know that KH dev team and Nomura is not uncreative enough to not come up with a more faithful realistic interpretation of what Sora looks like. Just look at other modern FF characters and they were able to pull off their older designs faithfully in realistic graphics, so... why the hell does Sora look like Noctis?

Now how does connect to Sora's changed appearance? No idea honestly, but I do feel do something's up. More consequences to do with being banished from reality? Did Sora get his heart replaced by another too? Or perhaps did he lose part or all of his identity like Nameless Star or Yozora? I have like a crack theory where this could all be foreshadowing that Luxu is about to body hop into Sora, but I have no proof.

And for additional theming, there's a whole can of worms with Riku looking almost exactly like Yozora and Kairi's beta footage from the KH1 secret footage looking eeriely familiar to the girl in the Verum Rex trailer. The whole thing about MoM is that we don't know his identity. And then there's also the fact that Luxu literally replaces people's heart with his own when he body hops like what happened with Yozora.

Like, something is going on here... right?

[remmammie]

Can I have how sora would react to having a big fight with his crush? It's canon that Sora is a very kind and gentle soul and loves his friends, and even looks for them even when they don't want to be found. So how would he try to make up with them if they get really mad after the fight and refuse to talk to him or even be around him? And how would riku react to seeing sora go through all this and help him out?

Our sweetheart, Sora... Seeing my first KH request after my hiatus has reminded me of the imminent Kingdom Hearts 4 and the mobile game coming out and all that exciting stuff. Can't wait!

Sora making up with his crush after a fight HCs

I can't imagine what someone would want to fight with Sora about just because of how much of a sweetheart he is. The only thing I can see being a point of contention is perhaps his self-sacrifical nature and tendency to throw himself at danger without really...telling people?

And, as someone who presumably likes him back, his crush can't be too happy with seeing him come back from worlds positively battered and bruised without any warning. It's a conflicting situation to be in for sure. This self-sacrifical nature comes from his love for other people which his crush loves, but it makes loving him hard and sort of scary. What if one day he doesn't come back?

His crush had always been there for him to patch his wounds and congratulate him as a wonderful person and a great warrior - hence why he loves them so much - so finding that, one day, they've just decided to avoid him is kind of scary for Sora.

He's unaware of what he's done wrong at first because his duty comes first, to use the power he's been so graciously given to protect people is his number one priority despite his feelings. *They couldn't be mad at that!*

It definitely takes someone giving Sora the same case scenario for him to realise the effect he's had. A lot of Sora's friends experience the same sort of thing since everyone close to them is often in some sort of danger or another. And, of course, Riku is ever the observant one in the trio of islanders...

Riku proposes the same idea to Sora: *How would you feel if the person you loved the most suddenly disappeared without ever telling you?* It takes a moment for Sora to realise the darker implications of Riku's words and the gravity of the situation settles in.

Immediately, Sora takesaction and makes it his mission to find out wherever his crush had been hiding all this time away from him.

It takes some chasing - they are actively avoiding him, after all - and it takes even longer for his crush to finally relent and give in to talk to him. They're trying to protect themself from having their heart broken...but, finally seeing the errors of his ways, Sora argues differently.

Very in touch with the hearts of others, Sora knows that his crush isn't happy being separated from him for so long. While he might not recognise the reason just yet, not thinking he's lucky enough to have his feelings returned, Sora admits his mistake and promises to be a far better friend than he has been. He'll hold their hand and tell them that they get to know everything about what adventures he's going to go on, that this is his duty not just a choice. If he won't do it, who will?

[mythicalartistx]

Soriku in Novels — Part 5 COM & KH1

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

From up on the hill he could see Riku gathering things. He was carrying some that looked like a big piece of cloth. Must be nice being Riku...

KH Novel

It's actually a neat perspective how in the novel Sora is actually frustrated with unable to beat Riku. Like he is his friend but he feels like he's unable to do anything better and there this constant competition between them, and because of that sadly Kairi is involved (not her choosing and her unaware of it)

But it seems him wanted to share a papou fruit with her was just to beat Riku at something. And it seems he was a bit jealous of Riku too. And Riku probably had no idea either that's why I KH2 he feels like oh he had no idea he felt that way and feels sad.

"We did it!" Without thinking, Sora hugged Riku.

"Okay, okay, quit it," said Riku, but he was smiling.

KH Novel

Okay this was cute. This is when they meet again in Traverse Town and in the novel they both help fight together and they even hug. It honestly reminded me of the pilot a bit.

Riku smiling is everything.

Beyond Naminé lay a huge device shaped like a flower bud. And inside, was Sora.

"If it isn't Sora! What have you done to him!" Riku ran over to the giant device without thinking.

Reverse Rebirth COM Novel

The only thing he cares about is Sora and what she could have done to him. That's so precious.

"Huh— I'm not afraid of being destroyed. I'm just a fake after all," said the Replica, expressionlessly. I'm not scared to be destroyed. I'm scared of what I'll forget. And— of being forgotten. Sora will remember me, won't he? Or will I get muddled up with his memories of the real thing, and be forgotten?

"I don't have a real heart. Even what I'm feeling right now is probably a lie."

The Replica smiled just a little, and light began to wrap around his body.

—Reverse Rebirth Novel

... that's sad. I know he's technically not Riku but I want to put anything Riku I suppose to show how every form of him cares about Sora.

This just breaks my heart cause it's so sad. He doesn't want to be forgotten as a Replica because he cares about Sora too.

And it's so much worse cause he forgot him. I need Sora to remember COM events.

"Am I... fading... fading under the power of light..."

If I am darkness— and if I can't fight the darkness with my own strength— I guess being destroyed by Sora is the only way, Riku thought in the depths of his fading consciousness. If I have to be defeated, I'm happy for it to be Sora.

This time it's ogRiku, but it's still sad. He doesn't mind if he gets defeated if it's by Sora. (It's actually Zexion in disguise)

He feels I guess I deserve to be defeated after everything he's done and it's sad.

"Fake or not, that doesn't matter anymore! You're here now, and you have a heart that belong to you and no-one else. Your memories belong to you and you only, so treasure them!"

Sora's words were gentle.

The Replica held back the tears that were threatening to spill over. "Sora, you're very kind," he said, back still turned. "Even a fake like me can see how real your feelings are... that's good enough for me."

Right now, Sora's feelings are good enough for me, the Replica thought. The fact that I met Sora is good enough for me.

— Reverse Rebirth novel

REPLIKU MAKES ME SAD CRYAHGDHSJJK

It's so sad because Sora's words touched him and his heart. Since he's made of Riku, he feels similar things.

But Sora is like you are you and is so passionate abd is similar to how Riku feels about nobodies in KH2

Also what's this about feedings...? He can see how real his feelings are and that's good enough for him.

I'm not one— no, I'm a fake, memories and existence and all, I'm what's before you become someone. But Sora talks to me like I've been his friend for a long, long time.

This pained the Replica.

— Reverse Rebirth Novel

Repliku so precious and deserves a hug as much as ogRiku. Sora still cares no matter what and Repliku still feels for Sora.

"Well, Sora. You didn't think about my feelings, either. Naminé's not the only one who doesn't want to see your face again. Neither do I," the boy shot, and leapt. Why don't I want to see Sora?

Why am I so angry?

—Reverse Rebirth Novel

Repliku is conflicted with his feelings unsure why he is angry with him because he remembers the feelings (Riku) has for him 💔😭

I need someone to tell Sora to remember events from COM, please after Riku finds Sora in Quadratum they act gay and do a rehash of KH2 Reunion before exploring worlds TOGETHER like they always wanted they go home.

Sora then sees Naminé and tells her thank you for real and then in turn, he remembers COM stuff and Repliku and it turns out Naminé requested for Zexion and Vexen to make Riku Replica. Then Sora remembers stuff and Repliku is happy again.

Face looking a little uneasy, Sora tried to grab my outreached hand.

At that moment, I didn't even notice what was happening around me. I didn't even look. Sora, at the end of my out reached hand, was so much more than everything else.

Just a little more and my hand would reach.

— Reverse Rebirth

Sora being at the end of his hand was so much more important THAN ANYTHING?! ASHSHHSSKSKSK Sora is that important and he wanted him to take his hand.

That's right— Sora would be the first thing Kairi worried about, every time. But, I was the same. As long as I was with Sora, I could go anywhere. That's what I thought. And moreover, with Kairi there, who I supposed knew about other worlds... we could go anywhere, that's what I thought.

— Reverse Rebirth

Aww he believes Kairi is what Sora thinks is most important (it's actually Riku). But the bolded words—and if you remember bolded lines throughout all these parts means they're especially cute and Soriku coded— but Sora helps him be able to go anywhere too.

[talaofthevalley]

Vibe check for borderline crack but also kinda serious AU where Baldr somehow finds himself heart freeloading in Riku years after his death, and now Riku has a keyblade wielder with a body count hanging around over the events of the mainline games. Baldr haunting the narative figuratively AND literally.

Extra features such as Riku and Baldr having extra strong light in them because to quote the intro to KH1 "the closer you get to light the greater your shadow becomes" but much like how negative times can easily overtake positive ones, it's not easily noticeable.

Featuring events such as:

Hanging around Destiny Islands as an incorporeal ghost that can barely interact with Riku but spending most of his time sleeping or at ease kinda does wonders for all those repressed emotions and trauma.

Adults think Riku has an imaginary friend. Riku was halfway convinced he was being haunted thanks to Baldr's white hair, eyes and lashes.

Baldr gets attached. Just a little bit.

Watching Riku struggle with his inner darkness and feeling abandoned in KH1 hits a little too close for comfort for Baldr, but hey, he knows from experience that anyone's voice would be preferable to the darkness.

Baldr clocking Xehanort almost immediately and going what the fuck. What the hell are you doing. Bastard what happened to you after all these years. Finds out Xehanort's trying to create Kingdom Hearts and is all OH so when *I* try to do it, you kill me, but if it's you, it's totally fine? I hope the kid beats your ass.

Baldr popping in as a voice in the climax and giving Ansem Seeker of Darkness a crisis before he dies, which he didn't quite *mean* to but he can still read emotions as a heart ghost. Feels kinda good he's not gonna lie.

Riku eventually grows taller than Baldr and he feels slighted. Offended. You're supposed to be a pipsqueak stop that.

Riku instead of turning into Ansem SoD in KH2 takes on the form of Baldr from connecting with his own darkness and, by proxy, Baldr. Instead of getting taller he gets shorter.

Cue Baldr weighing the pros and cons of Riku revealing his new form in front of Xemnas like- Cons: The possible rise of danger my heart innkeeper will be in. Pros: Chaos.

Sora squinting at Baldr!Riku until he screams and points like "YOU'RE THE GUY! FROM RIKU'S DRAWINGS! THE GHOST!" and Kairi doesn't get it until Sora reminds her of the guy Riku sometimes talked about when they were kids and drew pictures of and then SHE'S pointing like !??!!?! and Riku's like uuuuhhhh I can explain but it'll take a while.

"You know Xehanort? Why didn't you say anything??" "Yeah he was my classmate. And then he executed me after I killed the others in our class. And some of our upperclassmen. It's not the best conversation opener."

Riku becoming understandably distressed once he finds out how exactly Baldr died and the lead-up to his breakdown. Has to go talk to Mickey and be reassured that if Riku ever loses his way in the darkness again, they'll pull him right out no matter how many times it takes.

Baldr tries very, very hard not to be bitter.

"My feelings about my friends, sister and place of birth are complicated on the best of days, but I'm glad you don't have to live with the suffocating guilt and anxiety that there's something inherently wrong with you for having even a sliver more darkness in you than what's considered acceptable and worrying your loved ones will put you down if they find out. I'm glad you have people who understand you, and who try to understand you."

"Do you ever wish you could meet your sister again?" "I'm content mourning her."

The state of Sora, Riku and Kairi's friendship and complicated feelings about each other is almost enough to give Baldr an aneurysm when he feels them.

The fun of DDD where Baldr can take a solid form inside the dream realm and meets young Xehanort when his death is still fresh in his mind :^ )

Baldr, finding out about what happened with Eraqus and his apprentices; "Goddamnit Eraqus."

Someone telling Riku to follow his heart and he goes "Are you asking me to kill?"

Baldr; The number one guy who can get under Xehanort's skin and tear down his 'specialest guy' mindset, and only partly because his emotions are an open book to him. Takes a look at adult versions of him and goes "Oh I want to bully him so bad, it'd be so easy." Xehanort; Has spent the last decades researching darkness because of Baldr, while also pointedly not thinking about Baldr, that Baldr killed their friends, or that Xehanort killed him.

Why is Baldr in Riku? Eeeh, unsure. Mayhaps the kids were all meant to go to Quadratum after they died but Baldr went "nope" and drifted around instead until Riku was born and his heart went "oh twinsies". Maybe his classmates have been looking for him, after time has passed to think and reflect yet there's still been no sign of him.

And since I'm a sucker for happy endings all the DR kids reunite in Quadratum and Xehanort and Baldr can now kick each other's ankles and be the kind of pair that would be unbelievably toxic where they different people but it somehow works. Being able to read your partner's emotions would be very one-sided in any situation except where they can read yours right back.

[thehandwixard]

well friends and lovers i am officially one hour into kingdom hearts 1 on steam! i will be taking frequent breaks because i get motion sick very easily and i refuse to let that taint my experience. some notes!

i am still on destiny island

this game starts off very... not conceptual, but close to it right off the bat. it commands a certain kind of drama you either get or you dont, and i am certainly primed to give it all ive got, so im loving it. there's a surprising amount of dialogue you can get from tidus selphie and wakka on destiny island that give a bit more context into the kids' lives, and its illuminating.

the major thread im picking up on is that many of the kids think they know what the others are thinking, and don't at all. it's even easy for the player to look at sora and say that compared to riku and kairi, he doesn't seem to have a lot on his mind, but that's not true, and the player knows its true because of the dream.

"i've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real, or not?" as the opening lines of kh before the opening movie have stuck in my brain since i saw them. anyways its easy to forget just how lovable these kids are. i forgot how cute the disney scenes are too, i can say this for the cutscenes in general but while theyre a little clunky at times, theres a lot of heart in them. as much drama that the original character cutscenes command from the outset, the early disney scenes bring forward as much like. whimsy and slapstick. its just a very charming opening hour with the deep sense of "ah. so no one knows what is happening"

thoughts are scattered. get used to that because of liveblog purposes. i'm just incredibly happy right now. The controls will take some getting used to, and i might have to switch the camera to auto. i chose the path of the mystic, so thatll cause me problems no doubt but sue me i like magic. i was not able to beat riku. sora has no movement tech. no maidens. his bitch isnt bad enough.

but like yeah selphie does small stuff like talk about how wakka probably hasnt noticed kairi riku and sora doing stuff, but he does. one example. these kids dont really know whats going on in eachother's heads.. also strikes me how explicitly they do consider destiny islands a kind of paradise away from their parents' nagging, and how despite wakka being the oldest, riku is far and away considered the most capable. sora comes off as very quiet in a certain way, and its a vibe i really enjoy. no one pretends to understand riku, but he explains himself pretty clearly. vibes are good. the door is not yet open

[linagram]

[meet the guard!] guard 003: kuroki hinode

(this was supposed to be posted yesterday but.. i forgor...)

HE'S FINALLY HERE!!! THE THIRD GUARD!!! AND ALSO RIKU'S BIG BROTHER!! LET'S GO!!!

he gets not one but two drawings bc he's a very special little boy (and also bc i feel bad for him since he got introduced late for obvious story purposes but like.. i really need to make more content for him..)

(also fun fact: the first drawing actually was done in july and the second one just a few days ago.. i can actually see some differences in my art style hehe..)

another note is that when i started to work on hinode's character, my first thought was that i kinda wanted to create another physically disabled guard character (since i think eiji can count as the first one because kei's treatment of him had not the best impact on his body), it just sounded like a neat concept! but i also didn't want to make him.. how do i explain.. too sympathetic, maybe? too squishy? what really annoys me as someone who is physically disabled is that characters like that are often used to make people feel bad for them and don't really have any personality OR they turn out to be the bad guys who only pretended to be disabled for pity points. so instead i've tried to make hinode's problems realistic and a lot of it comes from my own experiences, but i still wanted to make him morally gray and kinda.. you know.. kinda suspicious. (you're more than allowed to joke about punching him or putting him in a blender and all that)

General info.

Name: Kuroki Hinode (黒木日出) (his last name means "black" and "tree" and his first name means "sun, day" and "exit, leave". yes, hinode's name has kanji for "day" and riku's name has kanji for "evening".. the parallels <3...)

Age: 22 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Guard 003

Birthday: January 28 (Aquarius)

Blood type: AB

Height: 179 cm

Occupation: Unemployed

Personality: Hinode isn't as outgoing as his brother, but he still enjoys talking to others, learning more about them and just spending time with other people. However, he's used to being alone, so he won't complain if it's not possible for him to talk to anyone at the moment. It actually might be better for him, since he gets tired quite easily because of his poor health and can't be active for too long. He feels sleepy most of the time, so please don't judge him for suddenly dozing off in the middle of the conversation, even if it's very important. He's not as passionate about justice as the other guards and mostly just wants to do his own thing, not caring about morals too much, but still having enough common sense to punish those who deserve it (in his opinion). He dislikes the physical kind of punishments because he believes that they're too "basic", since pain can easily scare anyone and there's nothing special about it. It's also possible that he doesn't like them because of his own experience with chronic pain, but to be honest, Hinode is lying when he says that he doesn't like to see people in pain. Yes, he believes that pain is the worst thing that could happen to anyone, even worse than death. But also, as someone who has no choice but to spend most of his days in pain.. Maybe he does want to see the prisoners feel the same way as he does. Maybe just a little bit. He still prefers the psychological punishments, finding them more "effective" and "suitable".. mostly because he's too weak to punish anyone physically.

MV info.

His Milgram cover: Him and T1 Naomi are twinning and he'd cover Weakness! The lyrics remind me a lot of him and I think with an instrumental like that it'd be appropriate for Riku's brother to cover it.

His DECO*27 cover: Harinezumi. The lyrics remind me a lot of him in general, him trying to keep up with everyone even though his condition doesn't allow him and him feeling like a burden to others, especially his family, but also being jealous of Riku for being so popular, talented and living his best life (at least it seems so on the outside) ("I can still keep going! Jealousy, what a trifling thing", "Don't you sometimes feel a little dizzy? I'm sighing because I'm tired of my heart pounding", "People know their true forms after being broken and crushed") and also the song describes his dysfunctional relationship with Riku really well as two brothers who are both jealous of each other and who both want something the other has (Riku has friends, popularity, the time and energy to make music, meanwhile Hinode has the family's attention, others helping him and people not judging him for spending the whole day in bed) but who also still love each other and genuinely wish their life could go differently ("I'll embrace you, we won't be parted", "Don't be prickly with me, each time we touch, I throb. If I prick you, you might hate me, well, there's no way that will happen!.. At least, I think", "I'm an attention seeker! I want to be spoiled! I want to melt even more for you!") And also considering that one of them is extremely suicidal and the other one is afraid that his life won't be that long.. ("In the blink of an eye, which of us will die?")

His Non-DECO*27 cover: Waltz by Nashimoto-P. I imagine Hinode having this very soft and quiet voice that almost sounds like a whisper and I feel like it would fit the way Miku is tuned very well! Also the lyrics sound so much like him trying to cope with his condition, his relationship with Riku, other problems and slowly going insane in the process. ("Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I ask what day is it today, regrettably thinking today will be a good time", "I don't know what's fun, but as I run out of things to do, I will accompany you", "My EKG is a straight line, I wonder how many decades ago") Some lyrics, especially the chorus remind me of the way he acts as a guard too. ("Stop trying to give up, the world is connected. Dance, smile, while you're being controlled. In the beginning, in the end, the details are non-existent. Don't resist, accept it, everything is connected") Also, Riku's T3 song is supposed to be by Nashimoto-P too, so :} They're matching!

His T3 Voice Trailer Voicelines:

"Ah, greetings, prisoners. Um, I apologize for such a late introduction, haha.. My name is Kuroki Hinode and I am the third guard of this prison. Nice to meet you. Starting from today, I'll be replacing Sanada Eiji-san as he's recovering. I hope we all get along. I'm really not the best person for this job, so I apologize if I end up falling asleep in the middle of the interrogation, haha.."

".. What was I supposed to do? I can't even get out of bed right now. If he wants to be saved, then I'm not the one who he should ask for help."

Trivia:

His eyes may not look like it because of the lighting on the first picture, but his eye color is supposed to be gray, meanwhile Riku's eye color is more of a mix of light green and gray.

Hinode's natural hair color is light brown, but a few days before Riku committed his crime, Riku suggested that he dyes Hinode's hair, hoping to make him feel at least a little better. They went with the brightest colors Riku had just for fun and it really did make Hinode smile and he was happy to spend time with his brother like that. In season 2, Riku dyed his hair the same way and noticed the colors only when it was too late, so it's possible that he missed his brother and did that subconsciously. It should be noted, however, that Riku's T2 hair is light green on the left and red on the right, meanwhile Hinode's hair is light green on the right and his hair is more pink rather than red on the left. Hinode also has a double ahoge just like his little brother and same goes for their little sisters. It's something they all share :)

He started putting his hair in a bun since he arrived because he found working with his hair down uncomfortable. Miki helps him with it now.

Hinode's illnesses aren't deadly, but a lot of them are chronic and dealing with them made Hinode a little bit paranoid and he has a lot of health-related anxiety. His condition is supposed to be mostly up to interpretation, but I can say for sure that he has anemia, narcolepsy and fibromyalgia.

He's the tallest out of all the guards (and that also makes Eiji the shortest). He's also the oldest one.

It's hard for him to walk because of how tired he feels most of the time, so he asked Miki if it's okay to hold her hand when they walk together. After a lot of internal screaming because of Hinode being so cute, Miki agreed. 

His room has everything he needs and he can see the whole prison on multiple screens, watch the interrogation recordings, adjust the brightness of the screens and the room temperature and whoever kidnapped him also somehow learned about all the medications he has to take. He was creeped out by first, but then went "Oh, it's kinda nice actually :)"

Speaking of him arriving to Milgram, he was kidnapped while he was asleep. So before Jackalope brought him his guard uniform, Hinode spent all his time wearing pajamas. He still thinks they're more comfortable than his uniform. (another fun fact is that the first "concept art" of him had him in his pajamas sjskkssl)

He's probably the best character to ask for medical help at the moment, since he does know a lot about things like that, but whether he's able to actually help someone depends on how he's feeling at the moment and what his relationship with that person is like. 

Hinode actually used to play the guitar before his health started to get worse and after he realized he doesn't have the energy to play anymore, he gave it to Riku. Riku still uses his brother's guitar and not counting the ones he got in Milgram, he refuses to get a new one. It also has a bunch of silly drawings on it made by Riku himself, Hinode and their little sisters. 

[system-of-a-feather]

(PUBLISHING OLD DRAFTS THAT ARE GOOD / INTERESTING; This was written in October 2023)

(TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses topics of trauma, psychological abuse, grooming and possibly some level of programming <- not sure if it counts but putting it in the TW just in case)

I don't know what the system's standards for this topic on this blog is so I will just directly say this is shit regarding our oldest sister who our therapist has acknowledged sounds uncomfortably like a "handler" which I agree with

But when talking to Riku and other parts about her behavior and her relationship with us, a lot of them get stuck in the fact that her actions and ways of "raising us" set the foundation for a lot of our strengths and things that made it possible to survive what we did

And thats very fair, that is very true. I absolutely agree and as a part that learned a lot about survival from her and uses modified versions of what she did to support, shape, and empower the system - I totally get it and its true. She did give us our fangs that saved our ass and our claws that let us climb our way up. It really is questionable as to whether we would have survived and got here if she didnt do what she did - hell I can say for a fact we wouldnt be where we are today if not for her because you know what?

All that trauma she gave us, all the predators she handed us to, all the fucked up shit we went through and over came are all important losses and victories that built us into the beast we are today. I am thankful in that sense for our experiences - good and bad - cause I, much like the rest of the system, love who we are today and I have no "what ifs" that I bother thinking about cause as far as I care, this is a stellar me to be.

With that said, even if she is partially creditted for making us into the Kings we are, even if she might have saved us over all, she's still the person who put us on a platter for predators and left us to learn or die. She is still the person that hijacked our already vulnerable, shit and garbage life and used us for her own entertainment, coping, security and curiousity. She's still the one that raised me like an attack dog enough so that I am deeply lycanthropic in mentality and cant escape it. She's still the one that took a severely and overtly mentally ill kid and realized it was fascinating and funny to see what weird things she could get us to believe, do, and control.

Of course most of us are prone to going "we totally agree and believe we are right in cutting her off and calling her our most insidious and probably worst abuser, but was she REALLY that bad? She did save us by giving us the knowledge that let us survive"

She was the only person who offered us anything. She was the only ally, that is true. But one can both be your only ally and still be the person that kills you.

Judas, Brutus, hell the statistic states the people closest to you are the most likely people to murder you.

Handlers gain your trust. Handlers give you safety you never had. Handlers give you care you need. Yes that aid may be what kept you alive for a bit longer, but there was never a promise of you living to pay the 'catches' of that and the hell and danger they put you through does not diminish by the fact they saved you once

One kind act does not outweigh years, hell a life of objectification, commoditization, and ownership.

If someone saves your life, you don't owe them 10 lives of loyalty, especially not when they risk your life several times.

[eradicatetehnormal]

New Kairi Essay Just Dropped

I won't be linking it because that person might not like everything I have to say. I DID NOT THINK IT WAS BAD, it just had some parts I disagreed with: Namely that it wants Kairi to play a supporting role and that it thinks that Kairi was actively choosing to stay behind.

Like buddy, we hate to admit it, but she was a leading female character, she was never a main character. The role of the leading female lead was stolen from her a few times. By Namine in CoM and by Aqua in BBS onward (no hate to those gals).

Kairi was always off to the side, like this post acknowledges never being able to interact with the story at large side from princess of light powers. Regarding the choosing stuff, you're gonna sit here and say she would willingly choose to be in Sora's heart? That she chose to drift away from him on Destiny Islands? Kairi always wants to go with Sora or Riku but she either physically can't or is alright told no, like in Melody of Memory and then feels obliged to agree. It just feels like even with a GOOD Kairi analysis, neither her haters, fans, nor people who are neutral about her, really respect or understand the her supporters or her character enough to write a scenario where she reaches her full potential.

The essay ends with her saying that the best way she can help her friends is by doing what she always has: "Being a "fixed point" in their reality." There's something really condescending about that. The character who can never move up no matter how hard she tries, how hard she wants to, should just stay put, look pretty, and wait till the plot calls upon her. Earlier in the essay, this very person brought up a way more interesting idea of her exploring her past and connecting it to Axel and Isa's subject x storyline. Why does her role have to stop at supporting role? Why can't she be essential to discovering what happens with subject x?

See I don't even disagree with the idea that Kairi should be a fixed point, but it's the way things are worded it's the sad and implications of Kairi settling that gets to me. Though I do recognize that this wasn't the intention, and I think me and the person who wrote this essay would both agree that for KairI to max out her full potential, she's going to have to discover who she is outside of Sora and Riku.

This is where my own analysis gets mean-spirited, but I'll be straight to the point. Kairi is kind of a loser with not a lot of friends. It makes sense. Sora and Riku were seemingly among the first to greet her with open arms on Destiny Islands, and she doesn't remember her own history all that well before that. Sora, Riku, and Destiny Islands are almost all she knows. One might say, well she has Selphie and Axel, to which I say…Sure, but what is she doing when she's with them? When she's talking to Selphie, one of the first things out of her mouth "Hey remember that boy who used to play with us?" "Riku?" With Axel, the girl was so desperate, that she was talking to a Sora who WASN'T EVEN THERE. She doesn't know what to do without Sora or Riku. While her being told to stay in MoM may not have completely been her choice, training under Aqua is. That's a great first step to discovering some self-identity. That's all she needs to feel complete. Some insight, and active consequences of her her CONSCIOUS actions.

[beastenraged]

the nature of the diseased, pt. 4

@hallowed-nebulae

They say, to have a shadow, a light must exist to cast it.

But that's never been the relationship between Ruse and Rook, both of them born from the Dark. Never any light to start with, unless you count Riku (which Rook doesn't). Two shadows twisted around each other.

"Maybe...a mirror?" Rook muses, poking at a puddle in the grass before him. "Reflecting each other. Huh, I think Ruse would like that train of thought. Definitely weird enough for her."

This place is a Dream. That Vanitas' Dream, he thinks. A place he accidentally got tugged into after finding a way for Vanitas to get to his Ven.

Sucked into the hole made, air escaping the pressure of a balloon. It's hard to describe the nature of Dreams, when all you can do is metaphors for the closest comparisons.

He hums, leaning back against the tree that has just dreamt itself into existence behind him. Not a problem, if you don't think about it too much.

"What are you doing here?"

Oh. His current host, host in a "we're having a party at my house' sense, not a "sharing the body" sense. He has a feeling Vanitas would never stand for that, for anyone outside of Ven.

"Equal and opposite reaction, I think?" Rook shrugs, placing his hands flat on his thighs. "To find Ven, I got to be lost."

"...that's stupid," it says flatly.

"I guess?" Rook's used to switching out with people, it's kinda his thing at this point. His Keyblade War body for Namine, his past for Ruse to fix everything...

Trading himself in to get something better is how he works.

"I don't do sacrifices. Ven...tried. I won't let them."

Oh right. This is a Dream, so they can catch each others' thoughts if they think too loudly. Which Rook is doing.

"Sorry, I don't..." Rook heaves out a breath. "It's not really a sacrifice between me and Ruse either."

Mostly because Ruse won't let it. She refuses to let go, leaving clawmarks in everyone and everything that crosses her path. Rook's closer to losing a leg to her than being released, if you want to talk metaphors again.

It's not a bad thing. It's nice, to be so wanted.

(When everyone was more than willing to let him die before.)

Something in Vanitas' shoulders relax. "You understand."

"Understand what?"

"What it means to be needed and wanted." He taps at his chest. "Because without Ven...who would I be?"

"Without Ruse," Rook thinks out loud, verbally, not in a Dream out loud. "I..."

I wanted to be Riku.

But now...well. I don't want to be her.

But I want to be with her.

[ask-the-kh-crew]

Don't know if anyone asks this yet or not, but uh, Roxas, do you ever think you'll forgive Riku for what he did in the past to both you and Xion? Like maybe not even fully forgive him, just enough to tolerate being around him if that makes any sense. If not, do you think the two of you will just fight it out here and there out of spite?

Again sorry if I made no sense ^^'

Makes a lot of sense, actually. It's something I used to think about a lot.

It's difficult for me to imagine fully getting over what happened, having everything taken away from us. Even now that we're together again, it hurts to think about the time we spent apart. And when I think about that hurt, I think about Riku.

But I also think about Xehanort, and the way he ruined the lives of so many people aside from us. The more I learn about him from the others, the more I realise how we were all just puppets or pawns to him. It was all so much bigger than me, Xion and Riku. Both of them did what they did because of DiZ and Saïx, and they only did what they did because of Xemnas and the fake Ansem. And in the end, they're the fault of Xehanort, so it always comes back to him...

Plus, if I'm gonna stay mad at Riku for trying to sacrifice me and Xion for some guy I didn't even know, I'd have to blame Xion, too. And there's no way I'd ever do that, so whenever I blame Riku I feel kinda bad. He'd do anything for Sora, in the same way I'd do anything for Xion. Speaking of Sora: when I first disappeared inside Sora's heart, I could still feel and think a little bit, and all I felt was anger. Anger at Riku and this guy he sacrificed everything in my life for. But then, I got to know him a little more, and I saw just how much light was inside him. I accepted that it really had to be him, because he was the one that could bring everyone back. And after seeing him reunite all of us, I can't help but feel like Riku knew he was gonna do that all along. He trusted him, and now I do too. He makes a good other, after all.

Anyway, Xion told me her and Riku already talked about it some time ago: the conversation lasted about an hour, and apparently most of it was just Riku apologising to her over and over. But I didn't feel like talking about it (especially not for that long) and I think he knew that, because he didn't try to talk to me one-on-one for a while. Whenever it was just the two of us, there was just a long and awkward silence until one of our friends showed up again.

But then, a couple of weeks ago, he came to my room after visiting Naminé and asked if he could ask me something. He looked kinda nervous and so I assumed he was here to apologise, but then he... asked me if I could teach him how to skateboard.

Yeah, turns out he thinks it looks pretty rad when Sora does it and he wants to impress him, so he came to me for help. For the past couple of months we've been meeting up every Thurday to practice around Market Street, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun (although it'll take a while before he can do mid-air 360s: he's not exactly a natural).

I still don't know if I can ever truly forgive him, but I don't think Riku could ever truly forgive himself either. The least we can do is to try to make the best out of the awful situation we both found ourselves in. And if we still feel some resentment for each other after that, we'll just have to do what Hayner and I always do when we're mad at each other: have a Struggle match to swing the anger out of us and then have ice cream afterwards. Works every time.

(Xion keeps trying to take pictures of me and Riku together, sometimes without us knowing. I'm not sure why and it's kinda annoying but I just let it happen atp. No photos of us skateboarding tho because "Riku always looks a little like a dork when he does it" and I don't disagree lmao)

[hallowed-nebulae]

little falling star

Kairi was born in Radiant Garden, but she does not know it. Raised in Destiny Islands, she knows this place more. Or: Kairi, and how she is and is not of Radiant Garden.

on ao3 here, or below the cut; wordcount: 570

She hates it, sometimes.

The dissonance. The difference. The choking feeling it has, sometimes.

Kairi is glad to have grown up in the Destiny Islands. She's glad that she was able to live there, safely, able to grow up with Sora and Riku and Selphie and Tidus and Waka. Glad she got that good education, glad she was always encouraged by her adoptive parents. Glad she had that safe place to live and stay in.

But it doesn't make her feelings and less strong.

Kairi was born in Radiant Garden, and lived there for the first four years of her life. She knows this, now, though she didn't know for a long while. Kairi was a part of a culture of an entirely different place -- even her name reflects the culture, the hard consonants and softer vowels that Radiant Garden favored for young girls when she was born, as Yuffie and Aerith had said. Kairi's got the reddish hair and pale blue-green eyes that are so common, pale freckled skin compared to the darker shades that everyone had on Destiny Islands.

Kairi hates that she has no connection to the culture and place and peoples that she belongs to. No one knew what world she was from, and she can't blame them for that, but she still wishes. Wishes she had been told the stories of Gaia and Lucrecia and Vincent and Rinoa, all the people of folklore and legends. Wishes she had been taught how to cook that same comfort food that Aerith and Tifa cook so often. Wishes she was from Radiant Garden in more than only name.

The worst part is when Sora or Riku ask her something about Radiant Garden -- well-meaningly, she knows, but it still cuts, even if she pretends it doesn't. I don't remember living there. She wants to tell them. I don't remember anything about it. I know less than either of you do.

(She wants to scream at them, sometimes. She doesn't. She just smiles, says nothing, and makes a paper star or two or ten until they talk about something else. Kairi had made a lot of paper stars. The jar on her desk is getting full of them.)

And there's nothing she can do. There's no real way to connect with that past of hers -- not with the Keyblade training, not with the looming threat of the Keyblade War on the horizon, not with the way that Kairi knows there will be danger, soon, and she has to prepare to be strong enough to survive. Not with the way that her roots are so firmly in Destiny Islands, now, the way that she cannot imagine living anything else.

Kairi, at the end of the day, is just. . . lost. Staring out her window. Making paper stars. Wondering about that past she won't ever get to go back to.

(Sometimes, when it's dark out and the stars are barely shining, she thinks that she hates Xehanort. Other times, she hates herself. For not remembering that past. For not wanting to remember. Is it so bad to cling to her life on Destiny Islands? Is it so bad to want to stay where she's safe, stay somewhere that she knows, rather than risk all the danger inherent in being a Keyblade Wielder?

Kairi doesn't know, and that -- that's what scares her the most.

At the end of the day, Kairi is just. . . lost.)

[bluerosesburnblue]

I did say I thought it was *in part* related to the rampant misogyny of early '00s fandoms. It's definitely not the sole cause. Honestly I think trying to find a singular cause that's primarily or exclusively responsible for it is impossible because I assume it's really a whole bunch of factors interacting with each other that cause it. (that said, I imagine aku/roku dropped off a lot because nowadays... People get REALLY touchy about it being illegal due to character ages and whatnot)

Yes, but like I said, it doesn't explain why that same thing happens in other fandoms, particularly new ones. And I had discussed those other fandoms previously during this very conversation so it's not like I brought them up again out of nowhere. The fact that I can see the same thing happen in fandoms that are less than five, or even three years old suggest that it has little to do with early 2000s misogyny, if at all. Unless there's significant overlap in the people in those fandoms, which can't be verified in a lot of instances, then I don't find it worth tossing around as anything more than a tangential "it's possible this might have done something," which I don't find helpful

Don't misunderstand what I said. I didn't say that you thought that was the only explanation, I said that I, specifically, didn't intend to commit to a specific explanation. I didn't say that your read was invalid (other than the idea that people grew out of it rather than taking the attitude elsewhere), I listed a lot of alternate factors that probably had a lot more of an effect than the one you brought up and related what you said to other fandoms that I had previously brought up as relevant and how it didn't apply to them, but another explanation brought up previously might and therefore probably had more weight. That doesn't mean that your take was wrong, just that it wasn't the most relevant in the discussion. I think where the disconnect is happening is that you're speaking from a strictly KH-fandom standpoint, where your take is most relevant, and I'm speaking from a wider fandom culture standpoint that, yes, focuses on KH but I'm looking for unifying factors between several fandoms to explain why I can't escape the Riku obsession even outside of the KH fandom, which was... most of the point of my original response to my friend?

Because, again, my very first example was in a fandom without main female characters that's three years old (at best, even. It's only been available in English for one year). It shouldn't have anything to do with those attitudes, unless it was brought over from another fandom. But who's to say that they came from the KH fandom to Twisted Wonderland and it didn't happen the other way around? Or that the person making the comparisons in question didn't enter the KH fandom well after the yaoi heyday? Or was even old enough to be a part of it? You bringing up 2000s-era misogyny means almost nothing in that context, which was the original content of my response to another post. Is it any surprise that I didn't see it as my main focus?

So, yes, you may be correct that it has some part in the Riku obsession, but that part is so small that it's hardly worth mentioning, and it had almost nothing to do with my examples in the original discussion. Especially since that discussion ultimately led into talking about how Riku's popularity overshadows Sora, not Kairi.