#i don't think it's really anything
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Wouldn't it be nice to exist as a fungus, to be an unknowable being, traveling blindly through the dirt in many directions at once, existing as something so powerful and mysterious, and yet a large majority of creatures don't even realize you exist, then suddenly one day you decide to be seen, are you safe, poisonous, just wanting to mess with the brains and body's of other living things, who knows, but just as quickly you're gone, you're back to traveling the dirt, unseen and unknown
#mushrooms#fungi#i don't know what this is#i don't think it's really anything#being a human sucks#i want to live in the forest
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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"
It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
#not vc sorry#bird#birds#aves#raptor#hawk#red shouldered hawk#i think. might be wrong on that id#accipitriformes#birds of prey#honestly a really cool guy so close up#I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big.#talons on this bird were huge. big scary.#I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives#it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down.#I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still.#it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird#if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know
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Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.
That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.
That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.
That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.
That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.
That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.
That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.
None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.
I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.
If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.
Celebrate fan work!
To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.
#unforth rambles#this wasn't really prompted by anything#I'm just sick and tired and distractable#or i should say it wasn't prompted by anything recent or that happened now#like no one has disrespected me#but as i hit the point that it's regularly taking me an hour plus every single day to queue things for the danmei art blogs#i just think of all the times people go WAIT YOU RUN ALL OF THOSE??? BY YOURSELF???#like i just don't think a lot of people realize how much work it is to really do background fandom labor long term#and i appreciate places like rec blogs and networks and events and just everyone#y'all are awesome#thank you so much
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I love the duo, both the historical setting and modern AU. Does Vasco ever go to confession while Machete is running it, just to 'confess' to something they did before as a way to tease?
#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#Vasco#Machete#hippiemeerpup#there's no way that never happened#but Vasco isn't mean he must know Machete actively dislikes confession duty#I don't think he'd want to make him more uncomfortable on purpose#if anything he might pop in to exchange meaningless chitchat as an attempt to cheer him up#wanted to draw an actual pretty and polished confessional but ran out of steam early on#some other time#this week has been really trying and it's barely wednesday morning
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I have made. Another comic. I took a very, very long time, as usual lmao. I originally got inspired to make this after watching through Arcane cuz. Nicely done media makes me want to make things and all that. And, at that time, I'd sent Narinder out on a mission trip in my new save and he came home full of existential dread (I have terrible luck with Narinder on missions therefore so does QPR AU Lambert I guess lol), and it had occurred to me that that would make an interesting premise for a comic maybe?? Turns out it did.
I think I'm happy with this?? The perfectionist in me is not, and to be honest I think I could've drawn a lot of things better and also I think this would read better if it felt a little slower... but also it's 13 pages long so I can't fault myself all that much. I do wish I had spent more time on some of these interactions, particularly between Lambert and the Goat and also between Narinder and his siblings, I have a lot of thoughts about the Bishops post their joining the cult but I haven't had a ton of time to really like... flesh out those ideas as much as I would like to. Maybe someday?? Idk.
Semi-related, while this comic gave me a lot of thoughts about the Bishops it also gave me a lot of thoughts about like, the exact like, I guess boundaries and terms of Narinder and Lambert's QPR, and also about what exactly happened to Narinder while he was out, and he's not lying a lot did happen but that's a little too long to just throw in the description here so maybe future me will describe it somewhere or something. This comic also got me thinking about Webber a fair bit, and once day I will expand upon those thoughts but not today, I have outside activities today lol
Anyways. This comic, like all my art, is not perfect, but it was fun to make and I spent too long on it for nobody to see it, so... enjoy!!
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl goat#cotl shamura#cotl kallamar#cotl webber#(not tagging heket or leshy cuz they're there but they don't really do anything in this one)#cotl narilamb#cotl au#the yet untitled qpr narilamb au#maybe that should be the official tag. but anyways. it's back#theres a lot of random silliness going in in the background of this one?? particularly during the meeting when everyone's bored#i almost forgot to tag webber. he's here he's having a great time. living his best spidery life#also i almost forgot about leshy sleeping through the meeting but every time i think about it it makes me laugh a little#anyways. tag rambles over. i hope yall like this comic
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I know we're not on the Hearts chapter but, I have a feeling the SSR will be Cater? But also him having the tear animation, since I have a feeling his dream will be a bit like Ruggie's q-q
I'm leaning towards either Cater or Ace, personally! Trey and Deuce have kinda already had their character arcs -- though someone else did mention to me that they thought it might be Trey, because so far all the vices have gotten one. though that might just be coincidence. we'll find out I guess!
my red-string-on-corkboard theory is that Ace is gonna get his arc + UM during whatever goes down with Grim, so while I could be completely wrong, I think it'd be nice if it were Cater's time to shine! ...also I am VERY curious as to what his dream is gonna be. 👀 like, I don't think he's gonna be all angsty or anything, he's a pretty cheery guy even though he pretends to be more vapid than he is, but...what would he be like if he were less. y'know.
(also I kind of want him to get the focus just because I think it'd be a shame if all he got was a super-quick 'oh his dream is to have a billion followers or whatever, now let's go on to the next person'. c'mon Twst. give him some love.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#this is only speculation but i'm gonna put the chapter tags in anyway just in case#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#i have seen people bring up the possibility of pre-canon deuce and i do think he would be visually different enough#but i think that would have to be like...a rook situation where it's a byproduct of whatever his actual wish was#because i don't think his dream would be to go back to that#buuuuuuut i dunno! they've been throwing some unexpected stuff at us so i'm trying not to form really solid expectations or anything#i do think the hearts dreams are gonna have to be a little rushed just cause there's four of 'em to get through :(#and while it would've been really nice to get in-depth dreams for everyone#episode 7 is already ridiculously long as it is#here's hoping the every-two-months holds though and we don't have to wait too long to find out :')
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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟
#pan draws#pan designs#zine#risograph#i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline#i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently#anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in#but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they#actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye#tdov#trans day of visibility#<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you#xines
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I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward
#artists on tumblr#animation#in stars and time#isat#illustration#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#like for real#anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime#shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal#literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO#if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT#heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like#bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs!#Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!!#can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO#so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me#fanart#pic
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵
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his silliness needs to be contained
THIS IS NO LONGER A WIP, FINISHED & FULL ANIMATIC HERE!!
#a video wip of the animatic?? woahh#wip#animatic wip#my art#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent animatic#malevolent fanart#sort of spoilers? i mean the audio is from part 40 but like. i don't think it really gives anything away so.#tw blood#blood cw#malevolent kayne#kayne malevolent#really excited to finish this
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'Strong opinions about femininity and masculinity' moment
#kazuichi souda#mahiru koizumi#Kazukoi#What's their name...?#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#an art#Anyway. Mahiru stans women and Kaz is....not NOT a woman maybe he doesn't know it's kind of a huge mountain to scale#Mahiru is like. Aw jeez. Calm down I'll do your makeup and dress you up maybe then you'll feel better#I think! Mahiru is just a big sis in general to everyone. If you're a MAN she refuses to be your servant#But if you're anything else or if you're just generally nice. She likes the role. Patron saint of women-in-progress#Like washing Hiyoko. Girl has a problem literally taking a shower? No problem I'm on it. Dress her? Sure.#Never really GOT mahiru thanks a lot to her dying first. But I like the her alright#All this to say: I hate gender i don't get any of it it's intriguing but it doesn't grab me i wish it wasn't so huge
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Loop and Sif fishing together? 🥺
Day 76: sleeping with the fishes
#in stars and time#isat#sifloop#isat siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#loop isat#desert art#i love picking the funniest day names#tbh I think sitting there with a fishing rod is like meditation to them#They're not aiming to fish anything substantial but it would be a nice bonus#if those two really needed to catch something they'd get into the wanter and catch it with their hands alone#insert the gang being flabbergasted#this one turned out like a color filling page (idk how they're called. coloring pages? yanno the blank image with lineart tgat ur supposed#to color)#drawing chibis is so nice. i don't have to worry about proper proportions that much#speeds up the process
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PLSPLS MAKE JIMCURLY MATCHING PFPS PLEASEEEEE
Only 'cause my best friend wanted me to draw it too. Individual in cut
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing fanart#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#jimcurly#curly x jimmy#jimmy x curly#I haven't drawn anything in forever I think I forgot how to.#drawn by Jimmy#anyway this one goes out to my oomf DJ Designs. hi.#Don't need to ask or even credit really if you're that type of person who doesn't credit. But like. Y'know. Don't claim it as your own obv
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
#and yet i NEVER DO REMEMBER IT#spilled ink#writeblr#i feel like due to tiktok ppl think >#deeply depressed & not having an emotional reaction to things MUST mean#you are cruel or uncaring#like girlie that is STILL a lack of mental illness awareness. it doesn't make us mean#it just means im like. ohhhh im not well. i don't really react to puppies. that's bad#Im still gonna be super nice to the puppy. like it just doesn't bring me joy.#bc the problem i have is CLINICAL. the dopamine ISNT being made.#but PLENTY of us are still kind#considerate.#GENTLE people. even if we're like '..........' all the time.#i actually think this is why i'm harsh on people who are so mean - you don't need to be emotionally attached to someone/thing#in order to be kind.... you just choose to be kind bc it's the right thing to do#not bc it's easy....... like it's extra effort sure. but it's worth it. bc ppl deserve kindness.#it's hard to describe this bc it's the ugly side of depression. the part that's like#not in netflix - the part where it's like ''i love this person. i just don't feel anything''
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Peepaw Starlo struggles. Autism 2 autism communication struggles.
#undertale yellow#uty#uty au#lucky clover au#frisk ut#starlo uty#ceroba uty#martlet uty#dalv uty#feisty four uty#the cowboy hat draws#FALLS OVER. THIS TOOK OVER A MONTH.#Mostly because of being busy IRL but also because I decided on a new rendering method#Aaaand it was ten times as time consuming and I don't like the end result at all. LMAO. You live and learn I suppose#I hope this is comprehensible um. I think a lot about Starlo being so used to understanding Clover easily and being one of their favorites#And going to Frisk and 1. not really understanding how they communicate and 2. feeling like he isn't their favorite LOL#Idk how well that reads but! Peepaw Starlo musings#Starlo tries his best and doesn't always get it right but he's in a better place now#I know Clover's absence feels very strange here but I just couldn't find a place to put them oops.#Drawing this made me realize I really gotta practice my backgrounds. Hough. Definitely in the new year!#Also I haven't played poker in years so anything that's wrong? Uh monster poker is different. Yup. Thumbs up emoji
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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