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goldentigerfestival · 8 months ago

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Forgot to post this earlier but I did in fact comb the entire Vesperia script to determine how many times he uses ま/まあ throughout the game, along with a few other phrases he uses repeatedly. This counts all of main story, every single sidequest, and every single skit in the game.

Final counts were:

ま/まあ: 280

Ma/Maa; translates to "well". He uses this at the beginning of a sentence usually, but it's sometimes in the middle. "Ma" is usually more quick and snappy. "Maa" is more thoughtful and/or prolonged. Obviously it can vary based on context, but that's the general breakdown.

んじゃ and any variants: 133

Nja, along with variants such as "ja", "soreja", etc. Variants are counted when they're all used to express "let's get going", when they're about to head off ("ja" could be used in a sentence such as "ja/but then, why is xyz like this", etc). They encompass translations such as "well then" (let's get going implied. includes "so then", "then" "alright then", and so on), "we should be off", "let's get going", "let's go", etc. (not to be confused with 行こう(ikou), 行くぜ, (ikuze), and other similar versions of this phrase. That can also mean "let's go", but any instances of Yuri using that particular phrase was not counted because it wasn't a variant of, specifically, んじゃ, which is also his most common "let's go" ja variant).

おい / おいおい: 66

Oi/Oi oi; translates to "hey"/"hey, hey", though "oi" is more or less an accepted word in English nowadays.

おっと: 12

Otto (not to be confused with "oto", referring to sound); an expression of surprise that can translate roughly to "whoa there" (which is the most common translation I do see for it and what I'd use in most cases too, context of course varying). The reason I included this one despite it being so seemingly low in number is because it's not a particularly common expression, much less one used multiple times by a single character? It's so rare from anyone else, which is just a regular thing relative to Yuri and his dialogue/speech (i.e. most characters sparingly use phrases repeatedly, as compared to Yuri... as you can see lol. Other characters use these words/phrases, but nowhere near as regularly, if regularly at all).

Realized along the way I should've included やれやれ (yare yare, "good grief", "oh dear", "oh boy" etc), but by the time I realized I should have in case it was an interesting count, I was too far into the script to be able to handle going all the way back through it LOL.

No. No, I am not joking that Yuri used ま/まあ 280 times throughout the course of the game. That is to say, it could be more if I missed any, but on the assumption I didn't, that's where it stands.

Why do I love this so much? Because it's a very specific character quirk of a character I adore. I'm very fond of his repetition. Thank you.

#GTF Vesperia Things #GTF Yuri Things #so glad I gave him his own tag jpfjugDFJISHFG he fuckin' needs it #OH ALSO note that I may or may not have (I genuinely don't know I don't THIIIINK I did?) accidentally picked up #the “but then" etc variant of ja. at this point I don't remember and I'd have to go back through my doc of this #bc I was skim-combing the script juggling several phrases mainly for ma. if I ever do a recount I'll confirm lol #also shoutout to Rays for using ま/まあ 68 times for him which is 4 more times than he uses it in Vesp arc 1 main story #I'm both thankful and amazed that Rays' writers ACTUALLY kept it to the correct general extent at large (when you consider the size of #both games and Yuri's role) I've always expressed how dedicated they are to the source material of the legacy chars but #that CEMENTED it LOL. the way they retain speech quirks for legacy chars is amazing and I applaud them #he uses おい / おいおい 54 times throughout Rays #おっと was used 10 times throughout Rays which is hilariously almost identical to Vesp's usage #んじゃ they did keep but I didn't count the amount of times #now MIND YOU Rays is split into 4 arcs prior to Recollection (which he's not in) and has to contend with about 200ish legacy characters #Yuri is largely in arc 4 and has a large chunk of appearances in arc 2 #he's mostly absent from arc 3 after the beginning of it and he's not in arc 1 much after the first chapter (which is his chapter)#he does show up in a lot of skits early into Rays tho since they only had so many chars to work with for arc 1 skits #and I also included count of those phrases in events (both skits and events throughout the game)#WHAT I'M SAYING is that Rays still managed to retain his word choice repetitiveness #and managed to get the count that high which is a very accurate reflection of it #while trying to put about 200 legacy chars through a revolving door #they were THAT on the nose with Yuri's quirks and further cements that this is a very Yuri thing #and a character quirk choice that was brought in from the game of origin #and they DID do this with other chars not just him... but the fact that they DID to me means #they thought it was important enough of a quirk to make sure they didn't lose it in his dialogue #WHICH. I AGREE. I AM VERY VERY DEEPLY PLEASED THEY KEPT IT #it just goes to show how dedicated they were in faithfully translating the characters into a gacha game #(not tl in the loc sense but tl in the ''writing a char outside their origin game for a non-origin game appearance'')#it also proved my theory that Yuri's vocal repetition was done intentionally bc they found it part of him enough to carry it over #anyway yeah i have yuri lowell brainrot and he pretty much owns 98 percent of the real estate in my brain these days

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an-aura-about-you · 2 years ago

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you ever see a post where a person says a thing, another person says, "That's definitely not true," regarding the first post, and you actually DO remember the thing being true but it's such an inconsequential, niche thing that you know it's not worth it to make it an addition on that post?

#and I'll put the actual thing in the tags for anyone interested in knowing what I mean #apparently somebody on Twitter wrote that they just realized bump is an acronym for 'bring up my post'#and while that reblog saying that's not true is half correct that's still only half #bump turning into an acronym for 'bring up my post' did exist as a thing on gaia online forums when it was brand new in 2003 #I don't remember seeing it on any other forums I participated in at the time #but it makes sense that it would be on gaia since it gamefied forum posting by rewarding forum members with in-game currency #so when you post you would earn a small amount of gold #which can be used to purchase items to dress up the doll that serves as your avatar on the forums #if a user wanted to save up for a specific item it wasn't uncommon for them to create a thread specifically for spam posting #there was a forum created specifically for those kind of threads and everything #and naturally for other threads one would want to bump their own so it would be on top of the front page and get more views #in any case it was not uncommon to see people add replies to their own forum threads that read 'bring up my post'

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kianamaiart · 7 months ago

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"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios!

NAME: Aika (she/her) AGE: 15 Main Protagonist CV: Anairis Quiñones

BIO:

Aika is an easily excitable and energetic girl. She's generally optimistic and very friendly. She's always eager to try new things as long as it's not her fulltime job of being a magical girl.

As soon as her magical girl duties are brought into the picture, her demeanor changes. She checks out, and often looks for the quickest solution to solve the issue. No flashy transformations and special moves here. She's good with a metal baseball bat or a rocket launcher.

All Aika wants is to live a normal life, make friends and go to school. Unfortunately, like every main protagonist, trouble manages to follow her wherever she goes.

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NAME: Zira (she/they) AGE: 16 Love Interest Best Friend CV: Bennett Abara

BIO:

Zira is everything Aika wants to be. Painfully average, under the radar and a self proclaimed loser.

She's a smart girl but has a hard time applying herself. Instead of paying attention in school, and doing extracurriculars, Zira would much rather be reading her favorite magical girl manga "Moon Sailor".

After Aika forces her friendship upon them, Zira now has to tag along on all of Aika's escapades and experiences new things. Ew. However, they admire Aika deeply and admire her even more after Aika's magical secret comes to light.

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NAME: Hoshi (any/they/them) AGE: unknown Magical Sidekick CV: Christine Marie Cabanos

BIO:

Hoshi is a magical star being sent to find the chosen one. They made a great choice with Aika, as she's amazing at her job. The only issue is she hates it and is often trying to dodge responsibilities (and Hoshi).

When Aika first started, and still had her heart in it, Hoshi was definitely more neurotic and acted as your typical mentor/magical sidekick. But over time, they gave up on trying to tell Aika what to do and also became a little more apathetic. Aika was getting the job done at least, so what's the problem?

Hoshi still has to make sure Aika doesn't completely give up on being the Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars, which Aika finds annoying.

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NAME: Eclipse (he/him) AGE: 15 Minor Antagonist CV: Aleks Le

BIO:

Eclipse is a flamboyant and theatrical individual whose showmanship is out of this world. He refers to himself as

"Eclipse: Servant of Darkness".

He was a D-list antagonist that Aika and her team would fight on occasion. Mostly just saving citizens from him being a nuisance. Eclipse has deluded himself into thinking that he's Aika's rival, main antagonist and love interest. Their love is simply forbidden as he's chosen the path of darkness and her, the light.

After Aika ran away, he managed to find her again. However this time he actually has powers??? Where did those come from? It's as if he's made a deal with darkness itself.

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NAME: Lady DeVoid (she/her) AGE: Old Main Antagonist/Big Bad CV: Shara Kirby

BIO:

Lady DeVoid is darkness itself. She's a mysterious being with an incomprehensible amount of power. Power that is currently weakened and that she actually has no idea how to use. She can't seem to remember for some reason...

All she knows is that a long time ago she was defeated and banished by a Star Guardian and that she now wants revenge. While unable to use her powers, she finds that she can pass them on to her new lackey, Eclipse. He's somehow able to use them better than she can right now.

With his help, she hopes to destroy the Star Guardian once and for all.

___________________________________

NAME: Miss (she/her) AGE: 39 Side Character CV: Michele Knotz

BIO:

Miss is Aika and Zira's very tired teacher. Looking at her, you might assume she hates her job, but it's quite the opposite. She pours everything into her work and into her students, leaving very little time for her personal life.

She's recently started trying to get it together (after her ex-wife left her) but is still struggling to find that work-life balance.

Prior to Aika enrolling, Miss was Zira's only friend at school and, though she'd never admit it, Zira's probably the closest thing she has to a friend also (oof). She's subsequently become a secret Moon Sailor fan too.

#i don't want to be a magical girl #idwtbamg #aika #zira #hoshi #eclipse #lady devoid #miss #bio #bios

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coquettebratzdoll · 2 months ago

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HOW I SHIFTED FOR THE FIRST TIME

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. For some context, no, this isn't literally my first time shifting (we shift all the time, remember?) as I've shifted to countless parallel realities and a couple random realities. However, this was the first time I shifted to a reality where it was supposedly fictional (MHA).

So, what did I do?

This. Exactly what I'm doing right now.

You see, every time I was going to bed or idle with my thoughts (doing chores, walking, etc), I would imagine myself writing a success story or telling a friend (luv you @vixilic) about my successful shift. I'd think about how I'd decorate it, how I'd word my sentences, the feeling I'd get from it, things like that. In the time between my last post and now, I had managed to shift by (mainly) doing that.

Before you say, "Isn't that similar to the xyz method/a combination of abc and qrs?" Congratulations! You know so much that you can actually see the different aspects of Loa/shifting being applied. I'm not gonna pretend like I invented this approach, but it is what worked for me (and perhaps for you too).

So, for those who want a coherent, step by step guide on how to do this, look below:

1. Pick a reference Pick something that you're going to base your visualisation off of. Are you going to tell a shifting friend? Your favourite blog? What about writing your own post? Don't stress, you can use more than one

2. Do the damn visualisation Everyday, imagine what it'd be like to tell your success story. What did you do during the day? How were the people in that reality like? How did it feel? Were you nervous, excited, scared? Do this when you wake up and when you're going to sleep. Bonus points for doing this at other times too.

3. Relax This doesn't have to be an instantaneous method and you may not see "results" right away. The whole reason I started doing this in the first place is because I'm pretty busy with school currently and I wanted to do something related to shifting which I didn't have to think about much. Hell, that shift happened on a night where I had no plans, I didn't "try", I just wanted to sleep 😭

Tips:

- this can be compounded with other methods if you wish: subliminals, robotic affirmations, sats, etc - don't stress if your visualisation isn't perfect, feeling is much more key here - on that note, don't try and force a "feeling" either. maybe you're overthinking it or just not in the mood, you don't have to literally feel it - go with the flow and personalise this to yourself. this is a Tumblr post, not a military boot camp - this can be applied to more than just shifting, too

Special thanks to the following creators who really helped me get out of a shifting slump recently: @scentedpeachlandcreator @hrrtshape @h1biscusgal (and @premiumbitch too but they deactivated 💔)

Moot tag don't mind me: @jealousmartini @livingmydreamlife5555 @xstrawberryshiftsx @vixilic @luckykiwiii101 @multiversal-wanderings @reiashiftsrealities @livingsecret @astrstqr @zomb13pup @zipper-is-ranting @theshifterbride @kimasoft

003 | prev post | next post | master list

#coquettebratzdoll !#success #success story #shifting success #reality shifting #shifting #shifting community #shifting blog #shift #shifting antis dni #loa blog #shiftblr #shifters #manifesation

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zaby-i-krowy · 4 months ago

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I totally get that, and I don't disagree with the point(s) you're making. I think being on differing sides of the gifset changes how you approach them in general. Like gifmakers put so much effort and time to make gifs that look good and clear and clean and run well, and then the rest of us are like "oooo pretty picture!" and don't think about the person who made the pretty picture

STOP LEAVING COMMENTS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATED A MOVIE IN THE TAGS OF A GIFSET SOMEONE SPENT HOURS MAKING BECAUSE THEY LIKED THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i really hope this isn't coming across as combative bc i really don't mean it to be #and maybe i'm being too sensitive about gifmakers being annoyed at me for my tags on their post #bc i do tend to take things personally and get defensive #i just remember a gifmaker getting mad at me bc i commented that the scene they giffed was heavy-handed #and it felt like they were mad at me for even having the opinion in the first place which sucked #i didn't intend it as an insult to their work #it was just that seeing the gif reminded me of my feelings when i watched that scene #i swear it used to be that tags didn't show up as part of the activity notification #also #completely unrelated #but i'm really regretting leaving all of those typos in my original tags #bc i fully didn't expect anyone else to actually read my tags lol

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carriesthewind · 18 days ago

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WOW.

Okay, after a night's sleep, I have decided that yeah, there is value in responding to this absolutely steaming pile of ignorant, self-centered, self-important, anti-intellectual, b.s.

It looks like a number of people in the notes were swayed, at least to some degree, by this garbage, so I think it is worth trying to show why it is nonsense.

(Also it's possible I'm still spoiling for a fight after being denied an evidentiary hearing on Friday.)

I'm not reblogging the post because folks don't need a self-aggrandizing tantrum on their dash, but I do think it is worth taking a look for yourself, in order to practice your analytical skills. Some questions to consider as you read:

(1) What is OP saying in her original post? What claims is she making?

(2) How, if at all, does the poster respond to claims OP made? What claims is the poster saying that OP made? Do these match what OP actually said? If not, (a) what techniques does the poster use to transform what OP said into the claims the poster is claiming OP made? (b) What rhetorical purpose does it serve for the poster to warp OP's claims?

(3) What affirmative claims is the poster making? What evidence or arguments do they provide to support their claims? Do they explore any of the specifics or real world implications of their claims? If not, what real world implications of their claims can you think of?

(3) What other rhetorical techniques does the poster use to bolster their argument? Do these techniques actually enhance and support the substance of their argument?

(4) Relatedly, how does the poster play into the biases of their assumed audience (tumblr users with generally progressive policies). What claims do they make to play into those biases? What evidence or argument, if any, do they make to support those claims? Are these claims by the poster reasonably related to the claims made by OP?

Now, let's explore their response in detail!

(Also obviously don't harass the poster, and I would recommend not directly engaging with them at all. Harassment is vile and makes you far worse than them. And earnest engagement is unlikely to be productive - the OP tried to engage with them politely (and even offered to help) in the notes of poster's original post. In response, the poster (1) implied that OP is an obsessive rude busybody. (2) Told OP to "Shhhhh. Chill." (in response to (paraphrased), 'hey, the advice someone else gave you is probably a waste of time and effort'). (3) And finally, after condescendingly telling OP, "Breathe. Practice radical acceptance. Know that I am here on the other side of the internet, flagrantly wasting my effort and thinking of you every second of that time," proceeded to prove that they were, in fact, "thinking of [OP] every second of that time" by searching OP's blog to find this post by OP and dumping this Arrested-Development-level demand to be taken seriously in the reblogs.)

(All of which is to say: hi, poster who was "being vagueposted about." I assume you are reading this, because you demonstrably don't have the good sense to block and move on. I'm not going to block you in advance, because I think you have the right to make your own terrible decisions, and I suspect any response you make is going to be *very* funny. See you in the notes!)

So, let's go through the poster's response, paragraph by paragraph.

They begin by doubling down on the stance that, "any sufficiently deep enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor." This, they say, is their defense of that stance. Let's see how it goes - but first, I think it's worth remembering, OP's original post is literally a single sentence long.

OP's claim, paraphrased, that the claim that "any sufficiently deep enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor" is incorrect and anti-intellectual. If we read the OP's tags, she clarifies that enthusiasm is valuable, but different from expertise.

The poster starts their defense with a long...explanation that the structure of their claim was a reference to the Arthur C Clarke's third "law" (read: sci-fi fiction adage).

*deep breath*

Ok. I'm a big a fan of wordplay as the next person. And I know from personal experience that it can be really frustrating to do some fun wordplay to make a point, and then get misinterpreted here on tumblr.com.

But. The wordplay has to make a point for it to be relevant to your defense. OP's claim wasn't "this poster did a bad job with the linguistic structure of this sentence and is not familiar with classic sci-fi." How does the "rhetorical structure" of the poster's claim support the substance of their claim???

It doesn't, is the answer. The poster explicitly asks this question later down, but then they never actually answer it. Instead, the rhetorical effect of this whole digression is just to throw out surface level references to things (Arthur C Clarke! "AI"!) that might make the poster sound more thoughtful and knowledgeable. It also creates distance from OP's actual point - as the post continues, the poster has to remind us what they're talking about. This gives the poster more control over the narrative, over what claims are under discussion.

Which leads to the poster's next paragraph: the unanswered question of why the poster structured their claim to resemble a sci-fi author's famous quote, and a baseless attack on OP.

And I think it is worth really lingering on this attack on OP. The poster claims, OP perhaps is "misreading or misinterpreting" the poster's point. But what on earth is the poster talking about? OP literally just quoted the poster's exact words and then said that they think this is anti-intellectual. What "misreading or misinterpreting" is being done?

No. Instead, this attack rhetorically sets up the poster's next couple paragraphs: not actually defending their claim as OP originally quoted, but reinterpreting their own words, providing their own special unique meaning that they will then proceed to use for the rest of the post. They are redrawing the rhetorical bounds of the conversation. Rather than defending their stance, they are redefining their stance so that it matches the defense they now want to make.

(Which is still bad. It's a bad defense and it makes me very angry.)

The poster proceeds to define "academic rigor" in a way that just means, "enthusiasm." Notice how no part of their definition includes things like critical thinking skills, building up a knowledge base, testing ideas, receiving criticism (wow I wonder why), or any expertise or action to build up and test that expertise. It's just what a person "cares very much about," how much "curiosity" they have; some inherent quality someone who "NEEDS to know." (Also hit the bell for another surface level reference - this time to Herodotus - to make the poster sound more knowledgeable.) If you actually read the poster's definition, it is entirely "idk vibes i guess."

Now, having defined "academic rigor" as enthusiasm, they successfully declare that enthusiasm is a necessary precondition of enthusiasm.

And then, we get the best paragraph of this entire tantrum of a post: "Any sufficiently deep enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor. It's like a fractal -- the closer you look, the more complicated it gets." No only is this another attempted surface level reference, this time to fractals, but just. What is this supposed to mean. At a glance, it seems like it kind of follows from the last paragraph - maybe, the more an enthusiast looks at something, the more there is to know? But the closer you look at this sentence, the more nonsensical it gets. What does things getting more complicated the more you look at them have to do with academic rigor (either a real definition or the poster's enthusiasm-based definition)? More importantly, what does it have to do with proving the point - that enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor? (You might as well say, "the further you fall down the rabbit hole, the deeper you realize it goes," except then more people would realize you are expressing straight conspiracist reasoning oops.)

Now, several paragraphs in and having firmly taken control of the rhetorical boundaries of the argument, the poster finally decides to provide some context to the original statement (and needlessly insult OP for trying to be helpful again).

The poster correctly quotes relevant parts of the discussion (although mischaracterizes their own responses as "polite" instead of "incredibly condescending and rude"). However, the poster then immediately characterizes OP's response as "muddied." Because words have objective meanings, however, we do not need to accept this characterization. OP expressed her argument very clearly. Rather, it is the the poster who claimed that OP was making an argument that she was not, which we can paraphrase as, 'passion and capacity for learning are limited to formal education at academic institutions.' It would be convenient for the poster if OP was making this argument, because it could be easy to argue against. But since OP clearly stated that she does not believe this clearly incorrect thing that the poster made up in her head, the poster claims that her response was "muddied."

The poster emphasizes this false claim in the next few paragraphs. They say, "to me she seems to be arguing that one MUST (?) receive formal training at an academic institution ("academic training" "trained expertise") in order to achieve that level of rigor." But OP simply doesn't say that. You can look at the reply the poster quoted, it doesn't say what the poster says it does.

Now, this is speculation on my part, but I think the poster really believes that OP is saying 'passion and capacity for learning are limited to formal education at academic institutions.' I think they believe this because its how they feel when they hear the (correct) statement that enthusiasm does not equal expertise. The poster repeatedly says that they think that enthusiasm for learning is the same as expertise. They throw a tantrum after receiving the slightest, politest, disagreement. They think someone giving them advice that hey, maybe its a good idea to get a basic foundation of knowledge before cold-emailing experts is a busybody who is obsessed with lecturing them. The poster simply, demonstrably, doesn't believe expertise is real, and refuses to admit that someone else might know more or better than them. If they "care very much about getting it right," how dare you say they aren't as good as anyone with "academic training," fuck you very much you elitist jerk.

This sense is emphasized by their next paragraph. First, they shift the rhetoric framework of the conversation again. The actual claim the poster says they are defending is that "any sufficiently Deep Enthusiasm is indistinguishable from Academic Rigor" (emphasis added). Now, they are claiming that OP means that no one outside of an academic context "has the capacity to learn what rigor means in their field." These are very different claims, but the poster shits between them seamlessly.

Second, they just completely misunderstand what academic rigor is. I'm sorry, you can read every book and article and (*sigh* dear god) TED talk in the world, that doesn't make you an expert, and that's not academic rigor. A large part of academic rigor is in how you critically engage with what you read. Otherwise you just end up, at best, with a bunch of shallow facts that you can "whip out at dinner parties to impress [your] acquaintances" or sprinkle as references in arguments on tumblr to make you sound smarter.

But no, the poster confirms in the next paragraph, you don't need critical thinking or training or people who will tell you that you are wrong. All you need is the information. And if you disagree, you are arguing in favor of "the ivory tower." (Take a drink.)

In the next two paragraphs, the poster pays lip service to the idea that sure, it's easier to learn in academia. But even then, they imply that somehow that's the easy route, that good learning environments create weak men, that people who are self-taught are the ones who are actually building up the critical thinking skills because someone doesn't just "tell them the answer."

Then, before the readers have a chance to absorb, wait, did you really just say that academia is really just having someone either tell you the answer or where to look for the answer and therefore unsuitable for "sincerely love to learn," (because you are, in fact, anti-intellectual), the poster then throws in a bunch of shallow buzz phrases about how higher education isn't available to a lot of people.

And I say these are just shallow buzz phrases for two reasons. First, the poster never actually engages with this lack of access. It's just sprinkled in, like the references to Arthur C Clarke and Herodotus. (For example, no, actually, "any sufficiently MOTIVATED person" can't actually access all this information that is online. You need a stable internet connection, devices to allow you to make use of that connection, to speak or read the language those materials are published in, enough time and sleep and food and goddam shelter.)

Second, this doesn't actually have anything to do with the actual claim that the poster is supposedly defending. Remember that? Remember the position the poster is arguing for? "Any sufficiently deep enthusiasm is indistinguishable from academic rigor." How does, "some people can't go to college" support that claim, specifically?

It doesn't, which is why the poster's next paragraph instead claims that OP is arguing that "those people do not have the ability to hold themselves to a rigorous standard of learning."

Which just.

Fuck you?

Because yeah, that would be a shitty opinion to hold! And you are the only person raising it! You are explicitly making the claim - fuck, perpetrating the anti-intellectual worldview - that anyone who suggests "caring about something does not inherently equal subject matter expertise" is an elitist who thinks that everyone else, ordinary people, real Americans, are stupid.

I'm gong to be honest, this is the part of the poster's claims that made me mad enough to respond.The notes include people agreeing that academics and "experts" are actually pretty elitist, aren't they, and they deserve to be "taken down a few pegs," that suggesting that you need a baseline level of knowledge or vocabulary before you can engage deeply with a subject is "gatekeeping."

The U.S.'s institutions are crumbling as they are dismantled by people that are making these exact same arguments. There is no meaningful difference in the reasoning of the poster's argument here, and the argument that "alternative medicine" hacks who never completed their medical training have sufficient credentials to run goverment agencies, and that if you bring up their lack of credentials, well, that just proves what an elitist you are.

The "worldview" the poster does not accept - is telling you not to accept - is the idea that expertise exists at all.

And because that is an incorrect and harmful worldview, the poster has to use a bunch of rhetorical tricks to hide what they are doing. And then to sell it, they throw in a bunch of words to stir up the audience's preconceptions and biases. OP's claim (again, that enthusiasm and academic rigor are not equivalent) is "racist and imperialist." Why? Don't worry about it. Something something college is expensive and inaccessible to a lot of people. All you need to remember is that these ivory-tower academics are The Bad Thing.

*deep breath*

Anyway, knowing we need a laugh to bring the mood back up, the poster then says someone on reddit criticizing your argument is an "informal version[] of the peer-review process." Besides betraying a deep ignorance of the nature of peer-review (I guess even knowing how academic processes work is also elitist?), I think this means that the poster has to be cool with my post here, right? Because I'm just doing peer review? (Because also, just to be clear: "the academic structure of the peer review is a formalized process of the very human impulse to gleefully tell other humans when they’ve stuck their foot in their mouth." No. This is just. No.)

Next, more misstating OP's original claim. The poster says, "An institution of formal learning is not a prerequisite to pursue and absorb information," which OP already agreed with in the comments of the poster's original post.

In support of this claim that no one is arguing with, the poster than makes up a "guy at the model airplane shop who seems to know absolutely everything that has ever been known about WWII planes," and asks, "why don’t we acknowledge him as a legitimate expert?" The poster implies that this is because this guy is autistic and OP is a bigot.

But the real answer is simpler:

Unless you are referring to something you chose not to link for some reason, he's made up. He's a made up guy in your brain. And OP never said anything about him, so it's really weird for you to criticize OP for not sufficiently praising him as an expert. Fanfic isn't reality.

To the extent we are talking about real phenomenons - who do you mean by "we" and what do you mean by "acknowledge him as a legitimate expert"? There are lots of people with legitimate expertise, and in my experience, they often are recognized as such. And I don't know where you live, but outside of revenge-fantasies of conservative pundits and the people who are mislead by them, most academic experts aren't exactly exhausted and prestige and praise.

'Knowing a lot about a subject' is not the same as academic rigor. This isn't a criticism or insult to people who know a lot of things, despite your weird, self-centered hang-ups. Let me be clear here, actually: I am not an academic. I am a lawyer. I know a lot about the law in the areas I practice in. I do not practice the law "with academic rigor" because that's not really meaningful. I also like to constantly learn more about the law, including in many areas I don't practice in. I am not an expert in those areas. Just as an academic who studies the law and legal practice would not necessarily be good at actually practicing the law, my enthusiasm does not mean I have academic expertise (and my academic training is rather rusty, this many years out). This is normal? My ego is not threatened by acknowledging different kinds of expertise and knowledge exist?

And perhaps most to the point - "seems to know absolutely everything that has ever been known about WWII planes." "Seems to." An important part of academia - part of what makes it rigorous, if you will - is that you actually have to prove your expertise to other experts. They are then "recognized" as experts because there is a process the public can usually trust that they don't just "seem to" know what they are talking about. If you are talking to an amateur enthusiast - how do you know you they actually have the expertise they claim to have? Because I know of some guys who are really enthusiastic about the, claim to be experts, and have a lot of strong opinions about how they have reclaimed their Sovereign Identity by not capitalizing the letters in their name.

I agree with the poster's final paragraph. I love learning. But I can't see this as anything other than a manipulative postscript, a rhetorical trick of ending on a point of agreement and mutual enthusiasm. By a person - and I can't emphasize this enough - who refused assistance in learning and threw an enormous tantrum because someone suggested hey, maybe its a good idea to get a basic foundation of knowledge before cold-emailing experts.

#let's jump into a fight on the internet.#I've got energy to burn

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paracosmic-murdock · 1 month ago

Text

give you my wild, give you a child

john arrives at the tower with his son for the weekend thanks to the custody arrangements and is greeted with a last minute mission. as a favor, you helped him with taking care of his toddler while he was gone, which altered bucky's brain chemistry to the point of insanity. because it sure was insanity to look at you and picture you with one of those but that belonged to you and him; it was insanity because he believed he could never give you the peace you deserve. but there you were, of course, to kiss his insecurities goodbye.

pairing: new avenger!bucky barnes x new avenger!reader

warnings/tags: established relationship, insecure bucky barnes, reader is a speedster like the flash and quicksilver, i made up a name for john's son, his kid is younger here than he actually should be according to mcu timing but idgaf, bucky has baby fever he's fighting to end, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, breakup and reconciliation, reader is good with children, reader wants to be a mother in the future, both reader and bucky want to have a family, but it's more complicated than that, song: peace (taylor swift)

3.8K words

✰ becky's upsetting father's day card (unplanned part two)

✰ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

It all started when John took a bullet for you. Now, you owed him your life and said you would do him a big favor as payback if he ever needed you.

That's how you ended up being the mediator between him and Olivia, his ex-wife, in the shared custody arrangements. You went with him to pick Nathan, his toddler son, spoke to Olivia on his behalf whenever he had a last minute mission and couldn't take care of the baby on his weekend, or just about anything because their relationship was appalling.

You used to tease him, saying he calculated the whole thing so you could owe him one. In reality, and when he would just bring your favorite dessert to thank you, you just tell him that you would have done that even if you didn't owe him your life. He laughs and thanks you again.

One time, Olivia was adamant that John had to keep Nathan for that weekend since, for the last two times, he had missions and couldn't have him.

And it happened again.

“Mel, I can't go,” John told Valentina's assistant. “I have my son for the weekend.”

“I get it, I'm sorry, but Val-”

You sighed. “I'll go in his place, let him stay.”

Mel shook his head. “Sorry, Val said-”

“I know it's not your fault, but can you please-”

“She said it had to be John because he knows the target already.” she told you.

“Okay,” John nodded. “I guess I'll talk to Olivia.”

“Great,” Mel smiled and continued detailing the mission, clearly in a nicer tone than Valentina's usual.

Once the meeting was over, you stopped John before he left the briefing room.

“John,” you called him. “I'll stay with Nathan, we'll figure it out later.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “You must’ve your stuff.”

“Don't worry, it's just filling out some mission reports. I can do that while he naps,” You smiled. “And he's a little angel, you know he never gives problems.”

“God, I don't think I can accept that.”

You shook your head. “It's okay, remember what Olivia said.”

“Yeah, yeah, but-” He groaned tiredly. “Thank you for this.”

“You're welcome.” You curved your lips in a kind smile.

“You called me, doll?”

You looked up and hushed him softly to show him the baby was asleep in your arms. “Yeah, baby, thanks for coming. I need your help.”

“Is that John's kid? Why are you babysitting?” Bucky asked in a lower volume, taking a seat on the couch next to you in the rocking chair.

“Valentina had John go on a mission last minute, but if he called Olivia to ask her if she can have him again, she'll change the custody situation and he might not be able to see Nathan much. Or at all, so I offered to take care of him for the weekend and take him back on Monday… He's been working so hard for this and I wanna help him however I can.”

“You're telling Olivia?”

“Up to John,” You shrugged. “It's like a dad leaving their kid under the care of their auntie Y/N.”

Bucky nodded. “One wouldn't believe that's John's kid. So peaceful.”

You pouted. “Sure he is… my little baby.”

“What do you need me for, then, doll?” he asked, a soft expression on his face at the sight of you, there, acting as if you were in your natural habitat.

“I wanted to ask you for a favor, of course if it's okay with you… Could you take Nate's crib to our room for the weekend?”

“To our room? Why don't you use the camera thing?”

“He's still getting used to this new environment, not to mention that he doesn't come very often. I don't want him to feel alone in John's room without his dad.”

“What if he cries and all that?”

You sighed. “Buck, if it bothers you, I'll sleep in John's room with the baby.”

“No, no, it's fine,” Bucky replied. “I've never been so close to a baby, that's all.”

“Wanna carry him while I look for the diaper bag with his things? He's a little too heavy but I don't want him alone.”

He raised his eyebrow, hesitant to answer. “Something tells me you're too attached.”

You hushed him. “This is my baby for the weekend. All mine. Don't ever tell John I said that.”

“Okay, give it to me,” Bucky opened his arms to carry Nathan.

“It?”

“You know what I mean.”

A soft laugh left your lips and you gave him the kid. Nathan stirred a little, and Bucky made a panicked grin at the thought of the baby waking up and crying in his arms. “Uncle Bucky is gonna take care of you while I get your stuff… Will you take care of Uncle Bucky for me, too, my baby?”

“He's asleep and doesn't understand what you're saying.”

“Shut up,” You rolled your eyes.

You wouldn't lie: seeing Bucky carrying Nathan made your uterus explode. You were probably ovulating because your mind was plagued with ideas you wouldn't entertain otherwise.

Either way, his faux reluctance was almost ridiculous… It was clear that he was carrying the two-year-old with a tenderness rare to watch in a man his size, and it was making you melt.

“What am I seeing?” Ava asked, appearing suddenly from the wall. You flinched.

“We're-” you began talking, trying to say you're babysitting John's child as you said before.

Instead, Yelena spoke from the other side of the room while eating cereal. “They're clearly playing house.”

“We're not,” Bucky declared, irritated, giving you the baby back. “I'll do what you asked.”

You smiled and held Nathan tighter, rushing to John's room where Bucky would be to pick the crib.

“Yeah, John, he's doing great,” you said through the phone, watching The Backyardigans with Nathan on your lap. “Don't worry.”

“This is killing me, I need to get back,”

“I need you to be at peace with this,” you replied after letting out a frustrated sigh. “I had Bucky move Nate's crib to my room so he wouldn't be alone at night. I spend every passing second with him, I take speedy showers while he sleeps, and I'm back to him in like a millisecond. He's never alone, I think he's not used to this place yet and I don't want him-”

“I appreciate so much what you're doing, but you're making him consume you completely and that's not good for you,” John noted. “Also, you're making him codependent.”

You scoffed. “Come on, don't be like that!”

“I'm sorry. I am so grateful for this but I just don't want to stop your life for a favor you're doing,”

“Think of it as an appetizer to motherhood for when I have my own children.”

John chuckled. “Oh, tell that to Bucky.”

“Not telling Bucky is a better one.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Don't even mention it, dad,” You smirked.

You heard him groan in annoyance. You could even feel him rolling his eyes. “Could you send some pics of Nate so I know he's safe and sound?”

“Yeah, sure,” you agreed. “Now go to work, you're making me miss the pizzeria in the ancient Mexico episode.”

“You're not serious,”

“I so am.” You hung up the call and straightened Nate's position.

You looked up and spotted Bucky staring at you from afar.

“Why are you staring at me?”

Bucky frowned and walked to you. “I can't look at you now? You're my girlfriend, may I remind you.”

“Well, you can look every once in a while, not stare like you're a lioness plotting how to kill your prey, me, and feed me to your family.”

“I can't do that because we're sharing our room now, but I will on Monday right after you drop the baby with his mother.”

“After we drop him. You're driving, sir.” You smiled, already excited to see him with the baby, acting like a whole dad in front of you. It's important for you to see how well he plays the role, since you do want to be a mother and you don't really want your baby's father to be someone that's not Bucky.

“I don't owe John my life unlike you, it's better if you leave that to him when he's back. Or at least leave me out of it.”

“Well, I said I'd do it. Nathan has to be with his mom before she goes to work in the morning, and I don't know if John will be here by then,” you replied.

“Aren't you doing a little too much? That's not your child.”

You sighed. “I know he's not my child, but he is my responsibility for the weekend. It won't kill me to take him back home.”

“I know, but I think it's too much.”

“I'm taking care of him as if he were mine, so whatever I do is the bare minimum, Bucky, not too much. This is like… an introduction to motherhood.” You looked at the kid fondly and then back at Bucky. “And I'm lov-”

“Doll, you're not a mom and you won't-”

You rolled your eyes before he finished the sentence, genuinely dreading the end of it. “You know what, Bucky? Just go. I'll call an Uber or whatever. And I'll be taking the crib back to John's room and I'll sleep there if it bothers you so fucking much. If you won't help, at least don't get in my goddamn way.”

“That's not what I meant, doll,”

“But sure it is what it sounded like.”

Before he could say anything more, you turned off the TV and rushed to John's room with the baby. Nathan laughed once he saw himself somewhere else that suddenly.

It made you smile warmly and wonder whether or not it would be a good idea for your future kids to be speedsters like yourself. A small part of you stopped worrying about the supersoldier part, which you hated to see happening.

To clear your mind, you took the pictures of Nathan that John asked for and sent them to him.

You: He's the cutest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You: I love him sm 🥹

John: He is

John: Thanks for this

You: Don't worry ab that

You: I'll put him to sleep for his afternoon nap :)) Take care

John: Thank you ❤️

“What if we go to sleep now?”

Nathan frowned.

“You know you have no choice. It's nap time.”

Bucky was in the kitchen, watching a food tutorial on his phone that explained step by step how to make apple compote for Nathan as an attempt to make it up to you.

He wasn't meaning to be rude at all, he just wanted to see you with the baby the least possible because he was getting weird ideas. You truly looked the happiest you've been in a while, at ease. The baby got along with you very well, as if you were his mother, and his laughter mixed with yours always lit up the room. He even catches himself smiling fondly at the sight, imagining you with one that belongs to you and him.

But that couldn't be.

He would be lying if he said he didn't want a family with you, but he knows that there must be peace to have a family.

And peace? He doesn't have it in himself to give you peace. In his perspective, you were always the one to give, and him the one to take. And he can't spend the rest of your lives taking so much from you without giving anything back at all.

“Let me know when you're done in the kitchen,” Bucky heard you say as you saw him and then tried to leave, clearly not wanting to share space after what happened.

“I- uh… I'm about to finish,” he replied before you left. “I'm making Nate an apple compote. Wanna try it?”

You frowned, surprised, but approached Bucky.

He smiled softly and offered you a new spoon filled with the food; you accepted it, taking a hesitant taste of the compote.

“It's good,” you curved your lips weakly. “He'll like it, thanks. I can take it from here, though, so you don't have to do more.”

“No, look, I-” Bucky exhaled tiredly, turning the stove off. “I'm sorry. I wasn't meaning to be rude or upset you, I just chose the wrong words.”

“An honest mistake, I guess.”

He nodded slightly. “I think we have to talk about this.”

“Can we leave this conversation for later? I am exhausted and the last thing I need right now is for you to keep choosing the wrong words.”

“Yeah, sorry,” He sighed and covered the pot. “Here's the compote.”

“Thanks.”

As you finished dressing Nathan to take him back to his mom, you couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the thought of not having him for a while. Like, two weeks.

Bucky was right: you got too attached.

John was right: you are now codependent.

And you also got too involved. You even got a potty for him and started training him.

“I'll miss you so much,” You kissed his forehead and carried him in one arm and the diaper bag in the other. “But your dad is gonna bring you back soon and we'll play again, and watch cartoons…”

You noticed the Uber was already outside, so you left John's room.

“Where're you going?” Bucky asked as he saw you pressing the elevator's button.

“I told you I'd take Nate to his mom's today,” you answered, your voice serious. A bit passive-aggressive if anything.

He pursed his lips. “Alright, let's go, I'll take you.”

“There's a car waiting, Bucky,” you explained. “And you already said you wouldn't take us, so why do you care all of the sudden, huh? You don't have to get involved in any of this.”

“I just want to help, come on,”

“No, you don't wanna help, you just want to be on my good side again,” you accused him, seeing the elevator door open. “We'll talk when I get back.”

“Doll-”

“Don't call me that, Bucky. Not now.”

He nodded and took a step back, giving you space.

And knowing he had cosmically fucked up.

You spent the whole day out: ran some errands, had lunch with Mel, visited Pepper and Morgan in the afternoon, and then went back home.

When you returned to the Avengers Tower, everyone was gathered. John and Alexei had arrived from the mission not too long ago.

“Hey,” John stood up to receive you. “There's nothing I can do to thank you enough for this.”

You smiled. “It's okay, John. That's what friends are for.”

“Not at all,”

“Of course, Yelena would've done it.”

“No, I wouldn't have.”

John shrugged. “See? Just tell me what I can do.”

“I'll let you know when I come up with something,” You took a seat between Bob and Ava. Everyone was surprised you were away from Bucky but said nothing. “How was the mission, boys?”

Alexei began recounting everything that happened like a Greek epic, telling every detail and exaggerating much of it. To this day, you all were used to it, even entertained by it.

Bob hushed at you softly to get your attention meanwhile. “Hey.”

“Hey, Bob,”

“Are you alright?”

You nodded. “Yeah, you?”

“Well, I did the dishes today.”

“Attaboy,” You smiled widely.

Bob turned around so he could sit as if you were in front of him. “You're sitting a mile from Bucky and he looks more like Grumpy Bear than ever. What happened?”

“We just have a… pending conversation.”

“A bad one?” he inquired.

“I think so, yeah,”

“Are you breaking up?”

You shrugged.

“Oh,” Bob grinned sadly. “I really hope you talk it out. Let me know how it goes?”

“Yeah, Bobby,” You squeezed his forearm. “Thanks.”

The rest of the conversation went between your efforts to ignore Bucky's stare and to understand Alexei's oral mission report. You could hear, but not actually listen, not when Bucky's piercing eyes were so uncomfortably fixated on you.

You didn't notice when Alexei finished his story, nor when everyone started drinking, much less when they all left and you and Bucky were the only ones staying there.

But he did.

“Hey,”

You looked up silently, then all around, then back at him. “Hey.”

“Is it time to talk?”

“I guess so,”

Bucky nodded and sat beside you now.

“I wanna apologize for what I said,” he began. “I know that choosing the wrong words isn't an excuse, but I guess that's what I meant to say. What… you thought.”

“What I thought?” You frowned. “What did I think, according to you?”

“You thought I didn't care about children.”

“So, you don't care about children?”

He stayed silent.

“You mean to tell me that you don't want children now or in the long term?”

More silence received you, but he nodded.

“And you didn't care to tell me before, why? You've known I wanted children for ages, Bucky. I told you multiple times, even in Wakanda before we were together. You knew this, and you knew you didn't want children all this time and still got in a relationship with me. And you waited until I was so in love with you to come clean and say so.”

“I'm sorry, I-”

You groaned. “You're sorry?! So what? What are we gonna do now? Because I don't know how much we're willing to compromise here.”

“That's the thing, you shouldn't have to compromise or give up on your dream of having a family one day.”

“Are you doing what I think you're doing, Bucky? You're breaking up with me?”

And he was silent again.

“Oh, my God!” you yelled at him and stood up. “What the actual fuck?! I- I've been beside you through every-fucking-thing, Bucky! I looked for you for years with Sam, I protected you and fought for you despite what you did, I went to Wakanda with you, I was beside you when Steve left… I had given up on fighting but came back for you when you needed me, I'm here because of you! And is this how you pay me? By… making me believe we'd be a family one day? By lying to me whenever I mentioned marriage and kids?”

“I didn't know for sure until now.”

You exhaled, visibly upset. Well, upset was the understatement of the century. “Fuck you, Barnes. Truly, fuck you.”

That very same night, you thanked God for your powers more than ever. Not spending more than thirty seconds packing up every single one of your belongings came in handy considering that Bucky was right there.

Once you finished, you went to Bob's room and told him everything that happened. You told him you would leave, but that he could still call you and you would answer. Whenever.

Soon, you were at Mel's place to spend the night, telling her what had happened.

“Okay, but are you sure that this wasn't something that came from an insecurity of his? Like, maybe he's scared to mess things up with you and decided to let you go,” she theorized. “I'm not saying you should forgive him and get back together with him, just to… give him the benefit of the doubt. As far as I know, he really loves you and isn't the type to do something like this.”

“Maybe that's right, but he still did it,” You exhaled heavily. “And now I can't help but feel that he made me waste all this time.”

Mel nodded. “Why don't you get some sleep? Maybe tomorrow morning we can think of all this with a clearer mind.”

“Bucky, you dick.”

He sighed. “Good night to you, too, Mel.”

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of your favorite breakfast, and it surprised you that Mel even knew, considering you haven't been friends for that long. You know about her daddy issues, she knows about your PTSD, but your favorite food or colors are off-limits.

However, instead of seeing her, Bucky was the one waiting for you on the dining table.

You rolled your eyes. “What did you come for, Bucky? To break me again? Let me remind you that I did nothing but love you all these years, and you're-”

“Can you let me speak?” You stayed silent. “I… thought it all through last night. Well, I had thought it through before talking to you yesterday, but I then realized that I took that choice away from you, and I shouldn't have. The truth is that I want everything with you, I honestly can't live with the thought of your future children having someone else's eyes, but I know that a family needs peace, and I don't have any of it to give you. I know this is your dream and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I took that away from you, or that you'll wake up one day and regret us. I'd rather miss you my whole life than make you let go of what you want.”

You frowned. “Bucky, you've given me peace since the moment you let me in when we were in Wakanda. You make me feel safe and loved, and if that isn't peace, I don't know what the hell it is. I just need you to stop pushing me away when it gets hard and fight for us.”

“That's what I'm trying to do,” He sighed and took your hands in his. “I try my best to not be intimidated by you, by your integrity, your beliefs, and everyday I feel like I do it all wrong and I'm just wasting your honor. I… I'd do anything for you, I always give you the best of me, but is it enough if I can't give you peace? Will… my love be enough?”

“Bucky, you've always been more than enough for me,” you muttered. “Your best is all that I need, but I need your best to include staying and communicating when something like this happens. We have been together for a while, and I must know if you're committed to this. To me. To us.”

“I am, and I'm sorry I got scared,” he replied. “I only want you to be happy no matter what.”

“Buck, I could never be happy with anybody that's not you. You are my peace and my happiness, and your love is all that I need.”

He curved his lips slightly and approached you hesitantly, not knowing what your reaction might be but not wanting to let the fear of rejection get the best of him.

But you kissed him, and he knew it was all worth it.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #thunderbolts*#thunderbolts #john walker

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ghostedgwen · 3 months ago

Text

but I knew you | j.potter [part three]

note : Thank you all so much for the love and support on the two previous parts! I am still trying to get back into writing and getting my old style back but it is still a work in progress. Really happy you lots enjoyed them and are asking to even be tagged in the next parts!

warning : more angst but some cute moment as well, Remus is an mvp on this one I love him, mentions of blood and injury, violence, there's a nasty fist fight, a brief moment of a man being a man and some misogyny.

James gets into an accident during a Quidditch game and develop amnesia - he doesn't remember the past 2 and a half years, and he currently has the mentality of fourth-year James. This doesn't bode well for you that your boyfriend of 2 years now currently thinks he's still in love with Lily.

└——————— - [ 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝚃𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚛 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚝 - 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚗 ]. +

It's been weird. Actually, that's an understatement. It has been absolute hell ever since that Quidditch accident, no one knew how to act around either you and James.

By now, the whole school knew and with how the school is quick to absorb gossip like greedy sponges, it was quick to be the topic of every conversation.

Girls would throw pitiful looks your way, and it grated your nerves to receive them. You didn't need their pity, not even one bit.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," you groan into your hands, pressed into your closed eyes. "This fucking sucks."

Remus gives you a tight-lipped smile that might as well be empty. "How about retracing your steps?"

You frown, taking your palms off your face and turning to Remus who began putting his book down.

"I'll talk to him, I'll convince him to practise with you."

"Practise what?"

"Remembering. You should know the core memories you two have made throughout your relationship, just recreate those moments with him," Remus shrugged. "Might work."

"It might not." You shake your head, giving up hope before it could even exist.

Remus makes a face at you. "This is so not you, you're not a quitter, ____."

A pregnant pause.

You heave a sigh. "Okay," you give in. "Bloody hell."

You watch as James casually approach you. Same mannerisms and all that but he feels unbelievably strange, you almost didn't recognize him with how he regarded you so casually. Curtly nodding and crossing his arms.

"Moony convinced me to humor this," he huffs. "Where are we off to?"

You bite the inside of your cheek, willing yourself to go through with this despite not wanting to do this. This was the only solution that made somewhat sense, and it was ultimately better than waiting it out while you try to act like the problem did not exist.

You click your tongue. "Where you first fell for me," you answered. "In your own words, of course. A bit cheesy for me, in all honesty."

He chuckles at that and you gesture him to follow you which he did. He walks beside you, not too far but also not close enough. You have to constantly remind yourself that it's not his fault. If he had met your James, he would've been pissed at himself right this very moment.

You didn't mind the distance much and continued your strides to the spot. You both pause, he looks around the empty hall with a frown.

"Sirius said he'd make sure the hall was clear for us." You tell him.

How he made it happen doesn't matter to you, but you had a few guesses. No time to dwell on that when he turned to look at you expectantly. You scan him, before speaking again.

"What do you feel when you look at me?"

"Honestly?" he licks his bottom lip with hesitation. "Nothing."

Wow, ouch. Okay.

You were about to speak again when he continued - "At first, because I really don't know you. . .but the more I look, the longer I stare at you - I have this urge to hold you."

That brought a small smile out of you. "Seems my James is still in there somewhere."

He didn't react to that, pretending he didn't feel a clutch in his heart at that. You shake your head, forcing the smile away and turned to the very spot you two stood on that day.

"Muggles science did say that love is in the head, not exactly the heart," you tell him with a bitter chuckle. "I guess you don't abide by that law. You still feel for me, despite not knowing me. I just badly need you back."

You can only imagine how much harder this is on him. While it absolutely hurt to be forgotten by your lover, you can empathize with his situation. How confused he must be to be a 14-year-old in the body of a 16-year-old James.

"How does it feel?" You ask him.

"Weird," he answered truthfully. "I feel weird. Like every inch of my body is on fire but it doesn't hurt. Uncomfortably warm."

You cannot even begin to image what that feels like. "I'm sorry, by the way. I have been too focused on the fact you forgot about me to even realize you lost a whole lot more than that."

He blinks. Your voice was comforting, and your words were kind. He still does not know how he pulled away from Lily, but he can see the appeal of why he fell for you. Your words, how you carried yourself and that confidence that oozed out of your every action without trying hard.

"I'm sorry too." was all he said.

You cleared your throat. "This is where I slapped you, by the way." You laugh humourlessly at your own words. "You had the absolute audacity to imply that you'd buy me, what a right git you were."

You look at him and see him blink in confusion, "What's your last memory before waking up in the infirmary?"

He gives you a huff, dropping his shoulder and walking to the wall with a wide open window. He sat there, leaning against the stone wall with his head hanging low. "I remember just returning to Hogwarts, I had asked Li- Evans out again during the welcome dinner, got rejected again - and I went to bed after arm wrestling with Pads."

You followed him, sitting across him while listening attentively. "Then I woke up, and here I am."

A moment of silence passed, you just watched him. You can see the gears turning in his head, a faraway look in his eyes as he gets lost in his thoughts. "It must be extremely hard for you too."

James nod. "It is, because I can see that I'm hurting you - and the lads, but I can't force it out of me. I feel a bit unwanted."

You scoot closer, hesitantly putting a hand on his shoulder. "That's not true, we're all just struggling as well. You don't know it yet, but Sirius - he could never unwant you, you two are basically soulmates and I am the thirdwheel."

"Does something happen? To him?"

You nod when he lifts his head to look at you. "Yes, but that's not until you both are 15."

"When do you come in?"

You smile bitterly. "Today. The second day during our fourth year, I enter the story."

James' jaw dropped. "I remember everything - until exactly the day I meet you?"

You laugh humourlessly, nodding to his words. "What a cruel joke."

"How's it been?" Remus asked, settling beside you on the couch. You had a book propped on your lap and was getting lost in the words when he pulled you out and grounded you back to reality. "You've been at it for a week. What timeline are you in now?"

"Just about finishing up fifth year," you answer him casually. "He's compliant, and behaved. Would you believe that? He's behaved, around me."

Remus laughs. "That's good at least, he's willing to try."

"He said he felt unwanted by us," you tell him, watching his jaw drop. "We got too busy minding the fact he forgot."

"Merlin - " Remus runs a hand through his hair. "Bloody hell."

"He's 14, right now and he must feel so scared to be in this familiar - yet strange environment he has ended up in. I didn't wanna tell you, he confided in me but I can see how he's been struggling throughout the week. He needs his brothers too, not just me."

Remus slowly nod along your words. "You're right. We thought to give you some space. Pads is still in shock and Peter is just depressed at this point."

You heave a sigh. "We'll get him back, no worries."

"____!" You turn to the voice that called you, you spy a familiar boy clad in black and yellow uniform run up to you. He had on a bright grin as he greeted you, a bookbag hanging off his shoulder. "Glad I finally caught up to you."

You frown at him. "You've been looking for me, McLaggen?"

"Yes," he nods and gestures to you. "But you've been with Potter this whole week."

You blink in confusion. "Of course I will, he's my boyfriend." You answer him bluntly, but he only shrugged at that with a tilt of his head.

"Whole castle knows by now that he's forgotten 'bout you, I thought you two had broken up."

You felt an eye twitch at that. "Nevermind that, why were you looking for me."

"Was hoping I could ask you to be my study partner, for the upcoming Ancient Runes quiz. You are pretty much a genius at it, wouldn't hurt to be tutored by you."

You cross your arm. He's never once had the courage to approach you before ever since James took an interest in you. He introduced himself so confidently when you transferred and even offered to show you around the castle - that was until James entered the picture and everyone steered clear.

No one wants to mess with the Marauders.

"Why would I do that for you?" You ask, having nothing to gain from his proposal whatsoever. He's demanding you help him study in a subject you excel in without even offering anything in return.

McLaggen flashes you a bright grin. "I'll treat you on a date on the next Hogsmeade trip."

You scoff at his words. "A date? You think I'd accept tutoring you for a bloody date? I'm taken, in case you forgot."

He laughs. "Your boyfriend doesn't even remember you, babe. I'm your next best bet, he's technically just a little boy right now, yeah? What age is he mentally? 12?"

"He lost two years, he's 14, you dumbass." You corrected him.

He shrugged. "Don't matter now, does it? He's just a little boy right now, you'll do well with a man."

You hold back a laugh at his words. "You think you're a man then?" You step back, providing more space between you and not once did his height intimidate you throughout the exchange as he address you while looking down. "You are a pig. Take your offer elsewhere, you disgust me."

"____-" he grabs your arm as you turn to leave but another voice also called out your name.

"____!" You turn to find James fast approaching, the rest of his gang trailing after him. "What's going on here?"

You tug at your arm and he finally released it. You fix your posture and glare at McLaggen, "We were just talking." you tell him and can see the anger bubbling in him with the expression on his face.

You turn to meet Sirius' eyes and gesture to James, he acted fast, grabbing him by the arm. "Calm down, mate. She said they were just talking."

"Didn't look like talking to me." James spat.

McLaggen stepped back, raising both hands in surrender. "My bad, mate. You don't even remember ____ anymore, the least you could do is let someone else have her."

You felt your jaw drop at his words, talking about you like you were an item to posses and freely give awya - like you had no say in the matter and you couldn't even process a reaction to his vile words when James swung for his face.

His fist colliding with McLaggen's face and he drops to the ground on the impact. He would have jumped on him as well if Sirius didn't pull him back with Remus who were desperately trying to calm him down.

"The fuck?" McLaggen hissed, clutchinng his now bruised cheek in disbelief. "Fuckin' hell!"

You turn to James, and it all happened so fast. The two boys lost grip on him and he slipped out - jumping on McLaggen to throw more punches but this time, the other boy got to react and returned the favor.

The two exchanged blows while the other three boys tried their best to pull them apart, you were only grateful that the halls are empty or this would be another spectacle for the whole castle.

You run to them, figuring that the three boys' attempts were not working - but it was too late. McLaggen pulled something out of the bookbag he carried - an ink bottle? And smacked James right across the head with it.

"Prongs?" Sirius called out to James who dropped after the hit, McLaggen appeared shocked at the result of his actions. He threw away the bottle and scrambled to get up.

"James!" You called out and dropped to his side, Merlin - he's out. He's breathing but he is out. The hit must have gotten him good. You angrily turn to see McLaggen running away from the scene. You can deal with him later, you turned your focus to the passed out James. "Bloody fuck, not again."

to be continued . . .

part four | masterlist

#james potter #james potter x reader #marauders x reader #james potter imagine #marauder imagine

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auroras-void · 2 years ago

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You underestimate the inadequacy of our transit agencies... Greatly...

Londoners are the most whiny basterds

#like idk if BART has gotten better bc it's been years since I've used it #but I remember it being so inconsistent it's basically useless outside of SF proper #and even then that's only if you're lucky #8 minutes is like literally on time for the US #iirc we define “on time” as a 15 minute window in either direction #and our nationwide on time rate is *still* something like 70%#I'm pulling that from memory though don't trust those numbers #i just googled it and bart is actually pretty reasonably at 92% rn for example #it's sister agency CalTrain though #which comnects the SF to SJ gap #I do use occasionally #and trains are spaced 30 minutes apart and take 90 minutes to arrive at SF which is usually a 40 minute drive for me.#i don't go to sf very often anymore but the last time I took it I think it was actually exactly 7 minutes late and I didn't evem register i #it's a total shitshow #rb #tags

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ltleflrt · 1 year ago

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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

#ltleramblings #queer stuff #seriously the fandom fights are so exhausting #thank goodness for the block button #asexuality

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