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bonefall · 5 hours ago
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the ShadowClan talk made me look through Brokenstar's BB Tags, and. a) is Lizardstripe still related to Finchflight, if you are keeping Finch-Dawn as a couple (with Dawncloud's age redux)? b) i keep seeing stuff about Snowtuft and killing kits, but i cant find anything actually detailing on that on the blog, and one of the older posts also mentions that Blizzardwing is either his son/grandson AND that Lizardstripe's mother was the kit he couldn't kill. what is all that about, im dying to know.
This is info that's scattered across a bunch of different posts, plus more deets and changes I haven't had a chance to dive into. Snowtuft committed an atrocity which would torment his victims and descendants for generations, for both its legacy and its trauma.
SO I wanna put as much of it as possible into one place for now, so you don't have to go guessing based on older posts. Especially since some of those posts are long outdated, but I haven't contradicted them yet.
To start the story of the two families, it begins with Snowtuft and the bloody end of the Crusade Era.
CONTENT WARNING; this is one of BB's darkest tales. It involves depictions of xenophobic violence, child murder, war crime, PTSD, abuse, and kidnapping. BB!Snowtuft's a bad kitty!
SEE: Kitten Stealing
(Also: After writing it out, I kinda realized this would be great as a BB entry on its own. I should come back and clean this up someday.)
PART 1: THE LAST CRUSADE
Cedarstar inherited the Crusades from Houndstar, continuing them more out of respect for her legacy than true zealotry.
He had actually been chosen as a deputy because he would run the Clan while she was off gallavanting.
He wasn't a pushover or anything, just prefered logistics. Him and Pinestar were tragically ahead of their time.
...but like other cats of his time, he was from a culture that didn't extend personhood beyond the Clans. So, he continued the Crusades.
Even though they weren't getting easier.
Crystal of Chelford had already used a new tool to carve a red future for the cats of the town...
and what were once defenseless little targets began to unite into organized, armed response teams.
Non-BloodClan "zones" got rarer and rarer.
The territory and underlings of an influential cat named Jay were among the last holdouts, so it's where most of ShadowClan's raids were launched.
And on one of these raids... it happened fast.
Snowtuft turned an alley and was ruthlessly attacked. He defended himself.
In the confusion, another assailant ran towards him. He acted swiftly.
It was reflex! Instinct! He couldn't tell what was coming at him. It was a split second decision.
He couldn't undo what had happened. The kitten was dead, next to its mother.
And the others were screaming, crying, terrified.
Snowtuft doesn't remember what he did next. He doesn't want to.
But Puffballburr does.
She used to see it every night.
She remembers her name, too-- Pixie. And her mom. And her littermates.
And the look that washed over his eyes when he realized the ragged flesh at his feet was a kitten.
Raw shock, electrifying shame, the dawning horror of knowing you've definitely done something that you're going to get punished for.
And when his white, blood-splattered face turned slowly towards her and her wailing siblings, she recognized that emotion too.
It's a very childlike response, really.
He needed to cover up his accident.
And he almost did, too. It was dumb luck that stopped him as he grabbed her tail and dragged her out from her hiding place. One of his clanmates heard the awful racket, and Pixie had survived just long enough.
PART 2: ONE OF US
They took her away, just like any other "honor kitten," but the Clan cats believed this was different somehow.
Something about the naked horror of what Snowtuft did, maybe. Impossible to ignore.
But it's not like he faced any real justice for it, not that Puffballkit could remember seeing. So clearly it wasn't very different at all.
His mate left him, and the older warriors regarded him with a distant sort of "shame." He was ostracized from many circles.
But Puff's siblings had not been "clan cats" so the Warrior Code did not apply to them. He faced social dishonor, not legal.
Ever-merciful Cedarstar did not want to "ruin" more lives.
"Not when the kit is far too young to even remember what happened," he said. But she did remember.
And her name. Her mom. Her littermates. That face.
She just knew, growing up, that she couldn't know about it.
Because Snowtuft was always right there, just around the curve of the den, just behind the cover of the rose bush thorns, listening.
They're ALL Snowtuft.
To admit she remembers it is to admit she isn't one of them. And if you're not one of them, the law does not apply to you.
As a kid, she couldn't articulate it. But she understood it.
Deep down to her brittle, kittypet bones. Her filthy, stillwater blood.
The ungrateful heart that beat in her chest.
Fear expressed as a constant, calm obedience of authority. A permanent dread, as if living in a pack as a sheep in wolf's clothing
So she was quiet, notoriously so.
Whoever her foster was, Puff was like a little white shadow. It's where the warrior name came from, eventually-- a puffball clinging to someone's fur. (after writing this though, half of me wants to start calling her Lambfur or Lambfrost.)
ShadowClan plunged into the Campaign Era with Heatherstar's invasion of the Mothermouth Moorland, and the massacre of some kittypet family became awkward history. Those old enough to remember still kept a distance from Snowtuft... but war took its toll.
War means death and those older members of the Clan are not replaceable.
Younger cats weren't there to see the horror of what Snowtuft had done... and time would make him bolder.
Finding growing sympathy in his apprentices, spurred on by the hardening of the culture in tandem with the official birth of Thistle Law, Snowtuft started to change history.
The official Educator of ShadowClan (still unsure who this was) had one story, and Snowtuft had one too.
"Details" were quietly changed in his. They weren't "kits" but "young cats." They charged out to aid their mother. Then maybe she wasn't their mother. Who knows.
Pullball's name was left out of these stories, on both sides. No need for the kittens to know that she wasn't one of us.
And if she was? That's a good thing for her. Living the life of a Clan cat.
He wouldn't share if "he wasn't asked," but all of his actions, his language, was a silent plea to be asked.
He wanted to forget the whole thing, because of his nightmares, his constant shame and punishment, how hard the whole ordeal made his life-- but he couldn't so it was constantly coming out of his mouth.
There was a deep resentment on his end, towards Puffballburr. How she was part of the Clan now, always reminding him. Like it was her fault.
In the end, Snowtuft didn't blame himself. He blamed everything else. The guilt was killing him a little bit every day...
But not as much as that WindClan cat's claws did. Those killed him a lot in one day!
But Snowtuft's death didn't bring Puffballburr any peace. She just felt... annoyed. Which was strange to her-- she should feel relief, but, she didn't. She was just thinking about how the next battle with WindClan would be harder without an extra set of claws.
PART 3: GOING HOME
Puffballfur is the queen of low empathy, and her emotions are... hard to predict.
Not in a chaotic sort of way, but in a "Huh, interesting, I didn't think that of all things would get me going" sort of way.
She both lives in constant "fear" but also a persistent banality. It's kind of like being in a cage with a chained tiger, but you've marked the exact spot on the floor where the tiger's chain ends.
Imagine getting nightmares that stop you from sleeping, but you know that they aren't going to come true. So you lay there with a throbbing heart, mostly feeling annoyed that you're going to be tired in the morning.
That's her life.
Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, she'd roll on her back in the nest and critique the assassination attempt in her mind.
Did he think his dumb plan through? Or did he just react without thinking? It was going to be obvious he killed a bunch of kids, whether she survived or not.
Or maybe he would have just said that the rogue killed her own kits to prevent them from becoming Clan cats. They'd probably believe that.
Either way it was sloppy. Could have had more kits if he didn't kill her sibs.
She had connections within the Clan. A foster, hunting buddies, apprentice. She was kind to them, especially when they were useful. But...
It feels like she's not like them. Like they have variables to their behavior that she doesn't. Drives and desires that are pointless, sometimes even frustrating.
Like the concept of "honor." Ridiculous. Every single person who talks about it is hypocritical about it in some way, and it causes unnecessary fights in the camp and on the border because of ridiculous ego.
She just performs it because the other cats value it-- and when people like you, you get what you want.
I'm not sure who her mate was, or if it was even just one. In any case, when she found herself pregnant, she declared Queen's Rights. I feel like she might have had a fling with someone, but got annoyed by their clingy behavior.
When her daughters were born, Bracketkit and Lizardkit, she felt pride.
Because... they didn't belong to someone else. They weren't even really ShadowClan's. They were hers.
For the first time since her mother and littermates had been taken away from her, she felt like she was looking at family. People who would always be with her.
But that didn't last...
...because a chance encounter only a few moons later reconnected her with someone who remembered her.
Not a littermate, but an older sister. Marmalade. She couldn't believe that Pixie was alive.
This is a WIP zone because I'm not sure, yet, if I'm keeping Hal's attack on ShadowClan. In any case, they continued to reconnect for moons.
The fact that she was remembered, that she could talk openly about what happened, and that Marmalade wanted her and her kittens to come home made Puffballburr's stomach flutter with excitement. She felt valuable.
And with the war getting worse and worse, this was absolutely the best choice for her kittens as well. They would be safer with BloodClan than they would with ShadowClan.
No longer would she be Puffballburr. Her name was Pixie.
ENTER: LIZARDSTRIPE
Puffballburr wasn't a bad mother, but it would feel a lot better to be Lizardstripe if she could have the simplicity to just say she was.
Her earliest memories of her mom and her sibling were outside of the camp on a cool, clear spring night, laying in soft marshgrass. Puff was laying on her back with her hind legs bowed out, a kit tucked under each paw, pressed to her fluffy, warm chest. Her face was turned upward, quietly, at the moon, as her daughters slept peacefully.
She's not sure how long after she'd opened her eyes that this memory took place, but Lizardkit looked up towards the bright, starry sky... and she remembered that the light hurt.
Her needs were always taken care of, but Puffballburr hated explaining things.
You learned quick to treat your questions like a valuable resource, and to listen carefully.
Lizardkit was sharp, much sharper than her sister. She caught onto the way that her mother viewed relationships in a very transactional sort of way-- and stayed aware of her balance.
And had to consider the cost of doing the things her mother was fond of, versus what the other kittens and queens in the nursery expected of her.
What Puffball didn't realize when her children were born was that they were family, but they were also ShadowClan. Even if this was not something she had ever felt a connection to.
Deep down, it didn't truly click with her that her children were not extensions of herself.
And when Lizardkit was a child, learning history from the Educator and getting involved in more of the Clan's goings-on, Puffballburr spent less and less time with her. Because she was reconnecting with Marmalade.
When Bracket and Lizard had their apprentice ceremony, Puffballburr was not there.
Lizardpaw's mentor was the infamously powerful, chaotic fighter, Finchflight. Bracketpaw was assigned to Brackenfoot. (There is an earlier post suggesting that Lizi and Finf were going to be related. I decided to make them mentor/apprentice instead.)
Finchflight immediately began to stress the importance of loyalty. Being one of the younger cats who had sympathized with Snowtuft and knowing the secret behind Puffballburr's beginnings, he nurtured a pain within Lizardstripe. Encouraged her to let the distance between her and her family grow.
Eventually, Puffball told her children that they were going to leave ShadowClan. They had family in the town, would be safe there, could start a brand new life together.
And Lizardpaw was shocked.
It was like everything Finchflight had said was true.
And they were going to leave her.
She reacted violently to the suggestion, attacking her mother. Told them that she was going to expose them, lead a patrol right back to their new hiding place, bring them "back home."
In defense of Puffballburr, Bracketpaw brawled with her sister. They fought viciously, until their mother separated them with a desperate, devastating whack to Lizardpaw's head.
Laying dazed on the ground, she heard an apology before passing out.
When she woke up, she was safely protected within a blackthorn bush-- with a nick on the outside of her ear.
She stayed out there for hours, not knowing what to do, where her family had gone, or what she was going to say when she got home.
But, looking at her reflection in a puddle of water, she became so angry at the idea of this being her first scar that she ripped the other ear, on the opposite side.
When the search party found her, they asked what had happened to her. If she had seen her mother or her sister, or if something had gone wrong.
"Nah. Took a nap to get away from them. Ripped my ears on the thornbush."
Later, when she would be interrogated or questioned by people she didn't want to lie to, she would tell a half-truth;
"I did it to myself. Liked how it looked. Last I saw of Puffballburr and Bracketpaw, they were upset I'd done it and left, so I took a nap."
She didn't mind that her Clanmates thought this was weird. She didn't care about whispers that it was all done for attention, or that it was dishonorable to do such a thing and they probably met a predator after storming off, and she didn't even mind the gossip guessing at the "real" reason behind her ripped ears.
The only people who ever got the whole truth were the Forget-Me-Nots. After their disappearance, Lizardstripe didn't talk about her family for years, insisting upon having no further details. Even if it meant that mystery and suspicion would hang around her like a cloud.
BLIZZARDWING: KIN OF SNOWTUFT
Snowtuft's daughter was named Lilyfur. She was a kit when her father slaughtered Pixie's family.
When her mother left her father, she also distanced herself from him. This was something Snowtuft was outraged and saddened by.
But Lilyfur's mother couldn't stand the idea of a kitten-killer trying to stay close to her daughter. How could he look at little babies, the same age as his own child, and kill them?
Lilykit grew up very conflicted. She remembered how much she loved her dad, understood that he was a kitten murderer, but he continued to be so kind to her into adulthood.
It was hard to think of him as someone who could do something so horrible.
Earlier draft had Lilyfur die and her kittens were raised by their kin, Snowtuft, but I'm currently leaning towards Lilyfur being alive but just letting him be an active part of their lives-- in spite of her discomfort.
Because the more time he spent in her life, paradoxically, the more obsessed he became with all the "time he lost out on."
Which ended up including entertaining a lot of conversations about how he'd never done anything wrong, ever, and everyone was mean to him.
Lilyfur: "ok maybe he's not evil but my dad is really annoying <:/ but he's really lonely. He needs me. and i cant take him away from his grandkits"
From this, what Blizzardwing absorbed was the idea that love and forgiveness was always tolerating your family no matter what. This would express itself in his toxic relationship with Hollyflower.
But Blizzardwing now has a sibling. I haven't settled on a name yet-- but I'm playing with him either being Angelshade or Silkflower.
I really like the name "Angelshade" as a reference to the notoriously deadly white mushroom, the Destroying Angel. But also. someone in the audience asked if I could give the prefix "angel" to a cat because it's their name, and I feel a little bad about giving it to a character who is going to be one of the nastiest little background characters in all of BB lmaooooo
i'm so sorry angel (positive), is it okay if there's an angel (derogatory)
ANYWAY, Untitled Blizzardwing Sibling grew up adoring his grandpaw.
Radicalization can be a slow creep. He loved peepaw, so if he was asked when he was young, he would happily repeat the adjusted version of history he was taught.
And then when Snowtuft died, he wanted to remember him fondly. The story slowly changed, becoming more "accurate," just getting more comfortable with the idea of dehumanizing outsiders.
So what, if he killed some kittypet? And if some kits had already been indoctrinated into their kittypet life? It was still a gain for ShadowClan, in the end.
One summer day, without warning, he came home with two little kittens. One was white, one was brown, both had the pinkish tinge of poorly cleaned blood.
He grinned playfully at Brokenstar, and claimed Queen's Rights in a singsong tone.
Because of that rite, no one could ask where he'd gotten those kittens from. But everyone knew he'd done something grim.
Those kits, Whitewater and Brownstone, grew up under the crescendo of Brokenstar's reign, both taking part in the WindClan Massacre.
Whitewater's bloody story includes joining Mudclaw's Rebellion, giving birth to three kits, a souring relationship with her son, condemnation to the Dark Forest, ends in the Battle of the True Eclipse after killing her grandson.
Brownstone's tale includes a relationship with a WindClan cat during the bloodiest period in the history of their two Clans.
And their father's story ends in Chelford, after being exiled from ShadowClan by Nightstar. His canon counterpart is the Unnamed White Rogue from Rise of Scourge, who tries to order Scourge to be his personal servant.
(the other two cats are Braketail, the "Offbrand Brokenstar" pale tabby, and Pirateheart, the gray rogue with green eyes. Glitch Warriors for the pile!)
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iraprince · 9 months ago
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snagging from this week's wip pile for a quick shortcut/hack! i've seen ppl using still life photos as basically a random landscape generator before, but i'll also often do this if i just. don't feel like finding or taking actual to-scale reference of a scene i need to figure out
it's not totally effortless -- sometimes i find it p difficult to gauge how one of these little dioramas will Actually translate once you've traced over/simplified it, and i end up having to go back and try a few different arrangements. but i will do anything to skip a grid dude
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elftwink · 9 months ago
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can i say something. about the way you people talk about dungeon meshi. i find it extremely... interesting how headcanons about laios being nonbinary are framed exclusively as a way to shoot down other people's headcanons about laios being transfem. like you are aware when you have a hc that a character is nonbinary you can just... say it... and you don't need to preface it with "well i don't think they're transfem BUT".
and also i think its interesting that i never actually uhm. see anyone discussing their nonbinary laios hc in literally any detail. obviously i can't read anyones mind but it comes across to an audience like you saw someone hc laios as a trans woman, got irrationally irritated about it, found a 'progressive' and 'trans friendly' way to shoot it down, and then proceeded to continue treating him like a cis man in every post, meta, fic, etc, only ever bringing up the fact that you think laios is nb when someone else thinks laios is a woman. almost like you don't actually think that at all, and keep the idea around exclusively because transfem hcs make you uncomfortable for reasons you refuse to interrogate.
i don't think this is necessarily intentional on anyone's part, but i do think considering the discussions we have been having about transmisogyny on this website its not unreasonable to ask (especially of fellow tme trans people) that you have a long hard look at the way you respond to things like transfem hcs. while obviously fandom is #notthatdeep, it does not bode well for your ability to make room for your trans sisters for things that actually matter if you can't even do it regarding gender headcanons for anime characters
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swiftfootedachilles · 8 months ago
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im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character
#bad writing is still canon unfortunately#the place where i absolutely draw the line is gallavich being verse don't fucking piss me off @shameless writers#unfortunately your fav characters did do and say those bad things..... and to ignore that is too fundamentally misunderstand their character#how can you love a person when you choose to be blind to who they are </3#this isn't directed toward anybody y'all are just being very dramatic lately and really i think we should remember that tv shows aren't real#i can recognize when someone is caused by bad writing but i still have to accept that it's a real thing that happened#like. do i find shameless entertaining? YES! is it well written? FUCK NO#it's actually fundamentally a bad show in many ways. but that's WHY i enjoy discussing it#it's why my hyperfixation hasn't died down. because theres just SO MUCH to pick apart and interpret and discuss!#it's actually so bad at times i blocked it out of my memory!#but if i believe something isn't canon or *shouldn't be canon* (HUGE difference between those 2 things)#then i should explain why i think that. and i also need to accept that others disagree#but if you say everything you don't like is just ooc bad writing and therefore not real to canon then#....lol what are you even doing here#like. we should be rallying against the writers for being actively racist homophobic transphobic fatphobic ableist etc#yet we're sitting here with our thumbs up our asses fighting about which character fanclub is the most oppressed#WHO CARESSSSS JOHN WELLS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US IT TRULY ISN'T WORTH WASTING YOUR BREATH OVER#i just want to read about 2 toxic kinky boys kissing idk#let me say this tho! hardcore fiona stans you gotta be the most out of touch people on planet earth!#okay goodnight everypony#wall of text in the tags#a.txt
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synthshenanigans · 10 months ago
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…do u run the daily cj account /gen
Shockingly, despite the many CJ related accounts I have & as much as I've thought about doing one, I do not run the daily CJ account
...however if anyone were to want one for tumblr, I wouldn't mind making one at least :}
[Edit: I just realized you're prolly talking about the new one here & not twitter lol. Still I'm not the one that runs that one tho! Maaaaybe will still do a photo a day but i don't wanna steal the other persons thing]
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goldentigerfestival · 3 months ago
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Forgot to post this earlier but I did in fact comb the entire Vesperia script to determine how many times he uses ま/まあ throughout the game, along with a few other phrases he uses repeatedly. This counts all of main story, every single sidequest, and every single skit in the game.
Final counts were:
ま/まあ: 280
Ma/Maa; translates to "well". He uses this at the beginning of a sentence usually, but it's sometimes in the middle. "Ma" is usually more quick and snappy. "Maa" is more thoughtful and/or prolonged. Obviously it can vary based on context, but that's the general breakdown.
んじゃ and any variants: 133
Nja, along with variants such as "ja", "soreja", etc. Variants are counted when they're all used to express "let's get going", when they're about to head off ("ja" could be used in a sentence such as "ja/but then, why is xyz like this", etc). They encompass translations such as "well then" (let's get going implied. includes "so then", "then" "alright then", and so on), "we should be off", "let's get going", "let's go", etc. (not to be confused with 行こう(ikou), 行くぜ, (ikuze), and other similar versions of this phrase. That can also mean "let's go", but any instances of Yuri using that particular phrase was not counted because it wasn't a variant of, specifically, んじゃ, which is also his most common "let's go" ja variant).
おい / おいおい: 66
Oi/Oi oi; translates to "hey"/"hey, hey", though "oi" is more or less an accepted word in English nowadays.
おっと: 12
Otto (not to be confused with "oto", referring to sound); an expression of surprise that can translate roughly to "whoa there" (which is the most common translation I do see for it and what I'd use in most cases too, context of course varying). The reason I included this one despite it being so seemingly low in number is because it's not a particularly common expression, much less one used multiple times by a single character? It's so rare from anyone else, which is just a regular thing relative to Yuri and his dialogue/speech (i.e. most characters sparingly use phrases repeatedly, as compared to Yuri... as you can see lol. Other characters use these words/phrases, but nowhere near as regularly, if regularly at all).
Realized along the way I should've included やれやれ (yare yare, "good grief", "oh dear", "oh boy" etc), but by the time I realized I should have in case it was an interesting count, I was too far into the script to be able to handle going all the way back through it LOL.
No. No, I am not joking that Yuri used ま/まあ 279 times throughout the course of the game. That is to say, it could be more if I missed any, but on the assumption I didn't, that's where it stands.
Why do I love this so much? Because it's a very specific character quirk of a character I adore. I'm very fond of his repetition. Thank you.
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#so glad I gave him his own tag jpfjugDFJISHFG he fuckin' needs it#OH ALSO note that I may or may not have (I genuinely don't know I don't THIIIINK I did?) accidentally picked up#the “but then" etc variant of ja. at this point I don't remember and I'd have to go back through my doc of this#bc I was skim-combing the script juggling several phrases mainly for ma. if I ever do a recount I'll confirm lol#also shoutout to Rays for using ま/まあ 68 times for him which is 4 more times than he uses it in Vesp arc 1 main story#I'm both thankful and amazed that Rays' writers ACTUALLY kept it to the correct general extent at large (when you consider the size of#both games and Yuri's role) I've always expressed how dedicated they are to the source material of the legacy chars but#that CEMENTED it LOL. the way they retain speech quirks for legacy chars is amazing and I applaud them#he uses おい / おいおい 54 times throughout Rays#おっと was used 10 times throughout Rays which is hilariously almost identical to Vesp's usage#んじゃ they did keep but I didn't count the amount of times#now MIND YOU Rays is split into 4 arcs prior to Recollection (which he's not in) and has to contend with about 200ish legacy characters#Yuri is largely in arc 4 and has a large chunk of appearances in arc 2#he's mostly absent from arc 3 after the beginning of it and he's not in arc 1 much after the first chapter (which is his chapter)#he does show up in a lot of skits early into Rays tho since they only had so many chars to work with for arc 1 skits#and I also included count of those phrases in events (both skits and events throughout the game)#WHAT I'M SAYING is that Rays still managed to retain his word choice repetitiveness#and managed to get the count that high which is a very accurate reflection of it#while trying to put about 200 legacy chars through a revolving door#they were THAT on the nose with Yuri's quirks and further cements that this is a very Yuri thing#and a character quirk choice that was brought in from the game of origin#and they DID do this with other chars not just him... but the fact that they DID to me means#they thought it was important enough of a quirk to make sure they didn't lose it in his dialogue#WHICH. I AGREE. I AM VERY VERY DEEPLY PLEASED THEY KEPT IT#it just goes to show how dedicated they were in faithfully translating the characters into a gacha game#(not tl in the loc sense but tl in the ''writing a char outside their origin game for a non-origin game appearance'')#it also proved my theory that Yuri's vocal repetition was done intentionally bc they found it part of him enough to carry it over#anyway yeah i have yuri lowell brainrot and he pretty much owns 98 percent of the real estate in my brain these days
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lieutenantselnia · 6 months ago
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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yknow I play a lot of hard games but usually not "took 73 days to beat" hard
#aka gUESS WHO JUST BEAT RAIN WORLD. AFTER TWO AND A HALF MONTHS#rain world#peridots-nonsense#i got into subterranean like a week ago but have been mostly hanging around by the worm grass shelter for 20 cycles#i went to every region (even if i only spent a couple minutes total in drainage lol). met every echo besides the farm arrays one.#got every passage achievement (every one besides dragon slayer/wanderer in outskirts and industrial within my first few weeks of playing)#and never used a passage anyway. three months!!! rounding up a little! for a game that can be beat in less than 20 cycles.#dh was twelve days (though i'd played through part of it years earlier). stray was seven hours. insc was only a couple days.#i've done two separate ultkill playthroughs so not sure which to count but both were less than a week#hk was actually just over a month. may 24 to june 26th. which is still so much less than this. bftes about a month too#i remember how even just a week into rw i felt like i'd been playing it forever...even just a week in i knew it would be one of Those Games#where i wish i could play it over for the first time again. boy was i right. it almost felt like a second life at times#i loved just running around in certain areas building up stores of food and spears and vulture masks#(what comes to mind are / HI_S02 / CC_S05 / SI_S04 / SB_S07. the first two felt like home!)#(* up in the sixth tag i missed the friend. i was relishing in hubristic bloodlust especially in CC so i didn't have much time for taming)#if the tags here seem particularly incoherent i only falsely apologize. i'm just. reminiscing. i don't think i can do anything else#my heart was pounding as soon as i reached the depths. after 325 cycles. 116 hours. two and a half months. it's over.#maybe a little dramatic but hey it took up an invariable portion of my life for a fifth of a year so. it's just interesting#anyway. a standard ''i took too long on this and now the sun's rising'' goodbye to you tag-wanderer
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an-aura-about-you · 1 year ago
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you ever see a post where a person says a thing, another person says, "That's definitely not true," regarding the first post, and you actually DO remember the thing being true but it's such an inconsequential, niche thing that you know it's not worth it to make it an addition on that post?
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aberration-abbey · 2 years ago
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shout out to Queenie's tail stripes, which appear and disappear at random apparently
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clover-the-awesomest · 1 year ago
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Major respect and gratitude to all these wonderful artists and logical people!! I'm an amateur artist myself who has never seen the appeal in AI art at all, or just AI in general, but I never really thought too much on how the situation affects people with disabilities. This thread though shows me and other regular people how free and creative art is. And how "Art" as a concept really doesn't have any limitations! You don't need a robot to do something that only a human can truly understand, and you shouldn't have to!
Thanks for sharing all your POV's on this situation and I'm glad we still have some sensible people in such a shitty world. <3
Plus, AI just sucks overall.
"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity
#Storytime in the tags lets gooooo#So! I actually never used to have much of a hatred towards AI art#especially when it was first starting out back in late 2020.#I was actually fascinated at the prospect of someone just being able to plug in a few prompts and then having a masterpiece in like.#2 seconds.#I still find amusement in taking a quick peak at free art bots from time to time. But that's all just for shits and giggles.#I don't really consider that “Supporting AI.” I just find it fun#Anywhizzle. All of this changed for me back in I think 2021 or 2022. I can't remember which year :p#I was watching a video discussing the discourse behind AI art and how much it was growing. Back then I was starting to see the flaws in AI#and how destructive a robot with sentience can be. It's like taking that one joke about workers being replaced by robots and making it real#So when I watched this video and they started talking about this odd anime movie I'd never heard about and how all the backgrounds were-#-done in AI. I was pretty pissed. Never before had I heard of anything like this. A whole fucking movie. With beautiful backgrounds that-#-shouldn't even be possible to draw. Was done in AI.#I looked back at all the real art I'd seen over the past like 3 years that I'd been on the internet. I have seen livestreams where artists-#-that I looked up to (And still kinda do) spent 2 whole hours on backgrounds for just one single comic page!#I read Evan Stanley's fan comic and knew that all those beautiful and geometrically accurate backgrounds were drawn by hand!#I HAD GONE THROUGH THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF GROWING MY ART STYLE FROM SCRATCH OVER THE COURSE OF TWO WHOLE YEARS.#I LOOKED AT ALL THESE ARTISTS THAT I LOOKED UP TO AND SAW THEIR BACKGROUNDS AND THEN LOOKED AT MINE AND-#-I THEN REALIZED HOW FUCKING DEDICATED THEY ALL WERE TO PULL OFF SUCH MASTERPIECES.#I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO JUST DRAW A TREE. OR A ROCK. OR A HILL THAT ONLY GETS 1/4 OF IT SHOWN IN THE FINAL PRODUCT.#And then I looked at the AI art in the background of the video... And I was PISSED.#But I didn't realize the full extent of my anger until the narrator in the video discussed what the credits for the movie said:#“AI - Human”#They... They didn't even give credit to the person who operated the fucking robot.#This STUPID LITTLE KID'S MOVIE DID NOT EVEN GIVE CREDIT TO THE GUY WHO GENERATED THE BACKGROUNDS IN THE FIRST PLACE#THEY JUST USED THE WORD “Human” INSTEAD OF GIVING EVEN AN OUNCE OF CREDIT TO THE VERY REAL HUMAN BEING THAT TOOK-#-TIME OUT OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL DAY TO GENERATE THEIR STUPID FUCKING BACKGROUNDS.#So yeah that's how I learned how to hate AI art your welcome and thank you.#I'm not sorry for all those tags#blog/ask stuff
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kianamaiart · 2 months ago
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"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios!
NAME: Aika (she/her) AGE: 15 Main Protagonist CV: Anairis Quiñones
BIO:
Aika is an easily excitable and energetic girl. She's generally optimistic and very friendly. She's always eager to try new things as long as it's not her fulltime job of being a magical girl.
As soon as her magical girl duties are brought into the picture, her demeanor changes. She checks out, and often looks for the quickest solution to solve the issue. No flashy transformations and special moves here. She's good with a metal baseball bat or a rocket launcher.
All Aika wants is to live a normal life, make friends and go to school. Unfortunately, like every main protagonist, trouble manages to follow her wherever she goes.
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NAME: Zira (she/they) AGE: 16 Love Interest Best Friend CV: Bennett Abara
BIO:
Zira is everything Aika wants to be. Painfully average, under the radar and a self proclaimed loser.
She's a smart girl but has a hard time applying herself. Instead of paying attention in school, and doing extracurriculars, Zira would much rather be reading her favorite magical girl manga "Moon Sailor".
After Aika forces her friendship upon them, Zira now has to tag along on all of Aika's escapades and experiences new things. Ew. However, they admire Aika deeply and admire her even more after Aika's magical secret comes to light.
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NAME: Hoshi (any/they/them) AGE: unknown Magical Sidekick CV: Christine Marie Cabanos
BIO:
Hoshi is a magical star being sent to Earth to find the chosen one. They made a great choice with Aika, as she's amazing at her job. The only issue is she hates it and is often trying to dodge responsibilities (and Hoshi).
When Aika first started, and still had her heart in it, Hoshi was definitely more neurotic and acted as your typical mentor/magical sidekick. But over time, they gave up on trying to tell Aika what to do and also became a little more apathetic. Aika was getting the job done at least, so what's the problem?
Hoshi still has to make sure Aika doesn't completely give up on being the Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars, which Aika finds annoying.
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NAME: Eclipse (he/him) AGE: 15 Minor Antagonist CV: Aleks Le
BIO:Eclipse is a flamboyant and theatrical individual whose showmanship is out of this world. He refers to himself as
"Eclipse: Servant of Darkness".
He was a D-list antagonist that Aika and her team would fight on occasion. Mostly just saving citizens from him being a nuisance. Eclipse has deluded himself into thinking that he's Aika's rival, main antagonist and love interest. Their love is simply forbidden as he's chosen the path of darkness and her, the light.
After Aika ran away, he managed to find her again. However this time he actually has powers??? Where did those come from? It's as if he's made a deal with darkness itself.
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NAME: Lady DeVoid (she/her) AGE: Old Main Antagonist/Big Bad CV: Shara Kirby
BIO: Lady DeVoid is darkness itself. She's a mysterious being with an incomprehensible amount of power. Power that is currently weakened and that she actually has no idea how to use. She can't seem to remember for some reason...
All she knows is that a long time ago she was defeated and banished by a Star Guardian and that she now wants revenge. The only power she has at her disposal is creating particles of darkness that she can use to possess animate or inanimate objects to create monsters. She prefers others do her dirty work.
She enlists the help of Eclipse to spread these particles with the hopes that it'll eventually destroy the Star Guardian.
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NAME: Miss (she/her) AGE: 39 Side Character CV: Michele Knotz
BIO:
Miss is Aika and Zira's very tired teacher. Looking at her, you might assume she hates her job, but it's quite the opposite. She pours everything into her work and into her students, leaving very little time for her personal life.
She's recently started trying to get it together (after her ex-wife left her) but is still struggling to find that work-life balance.
Prior to Aika enrolling, Miss was Zira's only friend at school and, though she'd never admit it, Zira's probably the closest thing she has to a friend also (oof). She's subsequently become a secret Moon Sailor fan too.
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ltleflrt · 10 months ago
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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
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auroras-void · 1 year ago
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You underestimate the inadequacy of our transit agencies... Greatly...
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Londoners are the most whiny basterds
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euphoria-looney · 7 days ago
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Who Said Money Can't Buy You Happiness?
Yan! Batfam x Princess!Reader
Special
"Mother said be good, father said be nice. That was always their advice. So be nice, [name], good, [name]. Nice, good, good nice (tighter!). What's the good of being good if everyone is blind. Always leaving you behind." Prologue: Into the Woods.
(I needed the full thing in it)
Divider Creds: @selysie and @anitalenia
This plot was inspired by @niwaart and @mimiiiiiiiiisstuff
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Life is not fair, and while the rich eat like pigs the poor people eat scraps and still are charged no matter if they can afford it or not.
As a princess, I understood that.
I am labeled as the defective princess, the Imperial Princess of Gotham, [name] Wayne.
While all my siblings were intelligent and had strength, talent, and power that upstaged most people, I had none of that, I wasn't smart, actually, I was a complete dunce. I had no strength to my name and was disgracefully unable to use my magic, but I knew I had some...
I had to. Right?
My talent, probably being an embarrassment to my family name.
My mother, she also glanced at me with disgust, she made sure if I wasn't able to do anything useful I'll at least have etiquette while being useless.
I admired my mother, she was beautiful, graceful, sharp, and always upheld her image.
She sneers at me when I mess up, which is all the time, but we don't talk about that.
Oh gosh, and my siblings they were all so amazing.
Barbara held the same personality as our mother, she rose the social class fast. Too bad she doesn't talk to me, I think she would be a great person to take an example from!
Stephanie and Cassandra tagged behind Barbara. They were like those cool trios in the books.
Yes, I read books, but they don't count since they are all novels.
Damian berates me on the fact that I'm nothing like them, but it just shows he cares, doesn't it?
Dick will he coaches Damian he's the #1 Knight of our kingdom and woman all over swoon over him, he talks to me... sometimes.
Duke, well he's a gentleman we don't talk but he's nice enough to greet me.
Jason, well like those novels he'd be titled the 'bad boy' and it does in fact charm lots and lots of ladies.
Tim, it impresses me every time at how smart he is. Maybe that's why we don't have many conversations because I'm not on his level.
And my father, well, it's okay. He's the emperor of course he's busy, I can't ask for attention that would be so childish!
It's of course upsetting when they all hang out without me, but they're just letting me have more time to myself to read! If you think about it they just care about me.
I remember we went to an event, and I was alone and no one talked to me, but it's fine, that's when I met the love of my life, he was like a prince charming, I bumped into him and he caught me before I hit the floor, I swear I fell right then.
Connor Kent.
Then I found out he was in fact a prince! And I got lucky and arranged a marriage with him, he didn't seem as static, but it's okay, arranged marriages usually don't last anyway...
I don't know what took over me, but when they found this orphaned girl one day, out of nowhere, they adopted her, and that's when my life changed.
Serena.
It wasn't fair how she was the apple of everyone's eyes.
She was also clumsy and dumb, she didn't know how to use magic, just like me, but there was a fine line between us. For one I know etiquette and for two, I'm of royal blood.
But instead of also disliking her they doted on her. I let it go until Connor also started being attracted to her. I was enraged.
But kept to myself. I started writing things I felt like doing those things to her. Then slowly I started doing said things. But they were harmless! Mostly...
I always ended up getting caught every single time though.
I still did them though, I don't know I just felt like it, and then I started having dreams of this weird world, about a girl.
Her name, was just like mine, [name] [last name], and she's so cool!
It started off showing what kind of woman she was, a CEO, doctor, lawyer, but mainly an entrepreneur, I didn't know a woman could be in those fields. Also, what are some of those things?
Then those dreams.
"What a bast-, I can't with this main character! Oh and don't even get me started on the family, who wrote this?! And a poly relationship for what? Just for her to focus on one guy? That's it I'm balding. The only character I like is [name] but sometimes I wish she would just stand up for herself!"
Yes, for I found out she was just like me she also liked reading novels.
Her reactions to them were also quite funny, then one day I don't know why but I prayed to the Gods that I wanted to be just like her.
"Go hang yourself! Shitty ahh characters. Go suck a titty."
Okay, not exactly like her.
Then it was the next morning and the maids took a while to finally get me ready, I couldn't stand their murmuring about how terrible I was compared to Serena.
I wanted to rip my hair out when I heard her name.
Then I made an idiotic choice again, I shoved her while on the staircase.
Then my world went black before I woke up startled with NEW MEMORIES.
I had become [name] [last name].
But for some reason, I was smart, I knew how to manage her jobs…
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5 years later
It's been, what, 5 years?
[name] was right to be cocky she had every right to be, I feel bad now that I stole her life.
[name] wherever you are I wish you the best.
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I wanted to write this to show that both girls will get happy endings, and I rushed this because idk.
Anyway, thanks cuties for the interaction with my last post!
And again with the last post please give me constructive criticism!
Taglist -
@kittzu @charlenexoxo1 @bat1212 @silverklaus @sillysealsies
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crimsonmochi · 1 month ago
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Personal ― S. Gojo
Synopsis. Pornstar!Satoru is used to fucking for money's sake. It's something he does often and something he does really fucking well. When he is requested to guest you, however, it shocks everyone to see an immediate energy shift.
Pairing. Satoru Gojo x fem!reader
Content. MDNI, fem! pornstar! reader, chubby! reader implied, gender neutral pronouns used for reader, no use of "y/n", smut, p in v, cunnilingus, slight choking, some semblance of onlyfans, pussydrunk! gojo, gojo is left handed canon, a little bit pathetic, and a little nasty, probable breaches of work boundaries, no beta
Word Count. 3.9k
Parts. one | two
A/N. baby's first jjk fic, be gentle </3 please give me feedback and lmk if i forgot some tags :3 reposts encouraged!
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Rain dribbled and splattered on the window, the tiny water beads reflecting and refracting the dim light from Satoru's phone. He sat upright on his bed, muscular back against the headboard, upper arms aching from his last session two days prior. He had reluctantly agreed to participate in a "professional"―which, to Satoru, was just a word for more work, smaller pay―shoot with some girl he could barely remember the name of.
The result? The director had barked at him to put himself in impossible positions for the camera's sake, which left his limbs sore and not in a good way. Satoru forced the scene to end, left with his money and a vow to himself to never ever work for studios again. He hated being told what to do, especially from guys who don't actually have what it takes.
While painkillers and a nice massage from the spa below his apartment complex did not eradicate the pain, it did make it much more tolerable.
Satoru's thumb swiped across the screen, scrolling through comments from his latest post, a message to his subscribers asking for content ideas. Sure, he did not like being told what to do, but being kindly suggested by his fans to fulfill their desires was different. In the end, he was still in control.
And it probably won't land him in a pharmacy either.
The request that Satoru found came up the most was for him to do ASMR; some fans wanted to hear those pretty praises, those filthy words he gives to his co-stars, spoken to them instead. Although the idea was alluring, Satoru would rather be on camera than behind a fancy microphone in a recording booth—primarily because he was too proud to opt out of showing his god-crafted body (that cocky bastard). But then again, he could find a way to do both...
He shelved that idea for later.
Other requests were suggestions of people to shoot with. Some popular names came up, women and men he had already filmed with and didn't find too interesting. He could fake it, of course; he was an actor, it was half of his job―but he would be unsatisfied with the end result.
Satoru was about to quit reading requests, bored and uninspired until his cerulean eyes stuck themselves to a particular comment. The space between his eyebrows creased as his eyebrows furrowed. It was a subscriber recommending another star, explaining how they weren't very well known, but they believed them and Satoru would make a great pair.
The wording was not what caught his attention, he had gotten plenty of requests with the same exact sentence before. No, it was the name, your page's name―which, to Satoru, felt familiar yet distant. He hadn't shot with you before, no, that wasn't it. Yet he was certain he knew you, knew of you at least.
His thumb reached for the search bar to type in your alias, his eyelids flickering when his gaze fell on your profile, your soft face on display. Satoru felt his length chub up in his boxers, soft lips parting to accommodate for a sudden need of oxygen.
Just as his subscriber said, you were less popular than him, with less than half the number of subscribers he had and an inarguably cheaper paywall in front of your content. Memories of happily searching for his new credit card numbers to pay for your videos came back rushing to him, memories only a few months old.
Satoru recalled seeing a preview and being immediately smitten by your pretty figure, your plush thighs and your tummy, that tiny thrill in your eyes. Fuck, how he had spent half of his revenue giving you tips on an anonymous account―just to obtain a personalized picture of just those pretty thighs, fisting his aching cock to that image for days.
Just looking at that profile again, oh my god.
His eyes laid on the subscription button. He did not even bother getting on an alt account this time to press it, watching the confirmation request pop up on his screen to gather his fingerprint in order to complete the purchase. When the paywall finally went away, Satoru let out a breath he wasn't even aware of holding, his hand travelling to his boxers, palming himself through his briefs as he scrolled.
And oh, he was gone again.
Satoru had never sent a message to his agent that frantically in his life, asking her―no, begging her to contact you to secure a shoot with you. Asked her to do whatever she could to get you in the studio.
The next few days went by without a reply from your part, and Satoru was going mad. He could not remember being this nervous for anyone, this needy. In between sessions of overthinking (maybe he should have asked you himself or maybe offered something more), he found himself replaying videos of yours he had already seen, notably the ones with other men. He knew them by heart.
Those guys didn't seem to appreciate you nearly as much as you needed, as much as you deserved. It pissed him off beyond what he thought was possible, yet made him so hard; He knew he could fuck you so much better than those amateurs you were with, pleasure you in ways they wouldn't even dare.
Unbeknownst to Satoru, you were just intimidated by his offer. Too much money from too big of a creator and an offer that seemed too good to be real to not hold a catch, which is why you did not answer right away, anxiously weighing the implications. It wasn't until he, in a moment of pure desperation and haze, shot you a private message confirming the offer that you replied, shyly agreeing.
From then on, Satoru could barely contain himself, daydreaming about everything he could do to you with his left hand eagerly moving up and down his cock, breathy exhales escaping his mouth and shaky fists gripping his bedsheets. Too often, he found himself checking the calendar on his phone, awaiting the shoot date, disappointed every time that it was still the 15th instead of the long-awaited 21st. Satoru Gojo did not exactly believe himself to be a patient man.
He sent you little messages throughout the week with ideas and reassuring messages. He wanted to know everything about you, your likes and dislikes, what you thought of him, how your body worked, and how he could get you to whine and moan for him.
On the day of the shoot, Satoru was almost unrecognizable to others involved―his agent and the friends he'd stopped to visit on his way to his studio. The man people had described as cocky, overly confident, and self-absorbed was reduced to a nervous, lost-in-thought mess. All because of you, the pretty little thing he would get to have his hands on later that evening.
He'd showered three times, spent too long in his room figuring out what clothes to wear, as if that would matter, and freaked out over his hair. His hair.
And when you finally arrived at the studio with your assistant, he nearly forgot how to breathe. That, or he was purposely holding back for fear of scaring you off, this cute little thing before him. You introduced yourself, pretty eyes gazing up at him, taking a second to admire each and every one of his features. As soon as he saw your smile, here in person, he told himself he could die happy.
Well, he could die happy after having a taste of you.
You were shy while introducing yourself to him. The interaction could easily have been misread as awkwardness, and that was what Satoru would have gone with, too, if he didn't know any better (if he didn't think so highly of himself). Your softer voice, your pretty eyes, god, those eyes. He could tell you might've had a tiny crush on him as well, and he would be lying if he said it didn't make his head reel.
Your assistant all but confirmed it when you excused yourself to the restroom, admitting that you hadn't stopped gushing about this opportunity since you got it.
And when you got back, he had the most annoying smirk and glint in his eyes, looking down at you.
After discussing what he wanted for the scene, making sure you were comfortable and willing to participate―a gentleman, truly, asked you so many times that you started chuckling your answers―he had his agent and your assistant leave the studio after you agreed to dismiss them. He did not mind an audience, but he wanted this to be personal.
"I film all my own shit anyways," he hummed, hopping behind the camera to adjust the angle.
In the film room of the studio was a bedroom set with a queen-sized bed with navy sheets and a wooden frame. A sliding-door closet with mirrors stood tall on the left side, and a bedside table on the right.
The scene you and Satoru agreed upon was vanilla, but he was pleased with the gist of it. Any way he could have you is a way he'd be pleased with, however. It didn't really matter how for the time being.
You sat in the middle of the bed, your back against the cold headboard and palms against the soft sheets, gazing at Satoru as he grumbled at the camera, shifting through the studio to find a new battery with his lips pursed in a pout. It amused you, seeing a different side of him.
It was only three minutes later that he climbed onto the bed, knees against the mattress as he moved towards you, those blue eyes staring at your frame through those pale lashes. He moved to straddle you, his back straight, his body looming over yours.
"Fuck, you're so pretty," mumbled Satoru, his hand firmly landing on the headboard to support himself, making a louder sound than he intended. "You tell me if I'm too much for you, alright, pretty?" he followed in a softer tone.
You nodded, the pad of your index landing on his shoulder and travelling down his torso, trailing close to the sweatpants he wore. Satoru reached his own unoccupied palm to your face, his fingers hooking themselves at the nape of your neck to pull you towards him. His nose brushed against yours before capturing your lips with his.
Satoru had never felt drunk on a kiss until you entered his studio.
As if a switch flipped in his head, he kept you closer to him, desperate and unwilling to pull away from your lips. He breathed shakily, his minty breath fanning over your mouth.
"Oh, you're good at this," he laughed, an arrogant laugh that made your pussy ache.
"Yeah?" you murmured.
"Yeah."
The hand on your cheek moved to your throat, squeezing at the sides―not enough to hurt, just to make oxygen sparse in your system. "I'll make you feel good, sweetheart, hm? I'll do better than those fucking losers on your page."
The sweetest words said oh so cruelly.
Although it was increasingly hard for you to think, you were able to click the pieces together pretty quick, your eyes widening and your pupils dilating.
'Fourth wall break wasn't part of the plan.
Oh.
He watched.'
Satoru's gaze had changed. Deep, yet precise in conveying the exact energy desired. A short, almost inaudible gasp escaped your lips, and fuck, he fed on that, on your reactions to him, no matter how small or insignificant. It mattered to him.
Warm fingers slipped under your the black camisole hugging your body before you could even notice his hand had left your throat, caressing your skin until he his the jackpot, massaging the same breasts he had spent hours looking at only within the past week.
"Oh-ho— nothing, no bra for me?" Satoru chuckled. He captured your nipple between his index and his thumb, rolling and pinching at it until it pebbled, drawing out a whimper from your lungs.
Satoru was fascinated by what he had under his hand, taking a too-curious approach to exploring, as if he had never seen or felt another body before this point in his life. He took his time to gently remove the fabric off of your body, imagining all the ways he could bind and explore it, worship it, cum all over those pretty tits—
It wasn't until he felt your soft hands trying to discard his shirt that he snapped out of his haze, realizing he was fucking up the pacing.
Satoru latched his mouth to one of your breasts, biting and sucking gingerly while he focused on getting you out of those tight leggings you wore just for him, that truly left nothing to the imagination. He frantically worked to get those white laced panties out of the way with a tad more force than he should have, causing a tear to rip into the fabric.
"Satoru—" you gasped, only halfway acting.
"I'll get you another pair," he groaned against your chest, licking over one of the bite marks he had left before unlatching to look down.
Satoru's brain short-circuited.
Sure, he's seen your body time and time over, but that had only ever been through the careful separation of a screen, a paywall. It was different to have access to it, to be able to touch and feel.
He thanked his earlier self for asking if he could eat you out, for now, getting to have your supple thighs around his face and neck. Fuck, he could really die happy now.
Satoru caught sight of your dripping cunt, juices dripping and latching onto your skin. He felt hungry for what seemed to be the first time in his life, moving down your body to kiss right over your mound, your scent filling his senses.
"Oh, s-shit, look at that," said Satoru.
Had he just stuttered?
He nudged his nose in between your folds, brushing against your clit with a swiftness that made your figure jolt. He chuckled, moving his arms to trap your hips and pin them to the mattress, muscles flexing under his skin to intimidate.
"God, she wants me so bad."
Satoru languidly licked up and down your slit, careful to miss your sensitive bud in the meanest way. He whimpered at the taste of you on his tongue, sweet in a natural way, catching both you and himself off guard. If his face wasn't buried in your cunt, you could have seen the faint blush creep to the surface of his cheeks.
"You ever had someone do this, sweet'art?" he mumbled against your heat, lips finally latching on to your clit.
"N-No, not really," you sighed.
"Mh," Satoru hummed disapprovingly, toying with the bundle of nerves between his teeth, one of his arms sneaking away from your hips. He teased his ring finger at your entrance. "You're, fuck- fuck― you're so― taste so good..."
He pushed his finger past the ring of muscle until he was knuckles deep, groaning before he returned his mouth to your clit, sucking in small intervals as he pumped in and out of your velvety walls. Satoru whined when your hand flew to his hair.
And when you moaned for him, he was a goner. He noticed the usually loud and audibly altered sounds had turned saccharine and almost timid.
You had been faking your moans?
He snickered at his realization, breaching through the noise of your moans and the quiet slurps. "I think she loves me," said Satoru in between breaths.
"Wha-, who―"
"Wasn't talking to you, love." Satoru's words drastically contrasted with his soft tone.
He punctuated his sentence by curling his digits to find and abuse that spongey spot, earning a string of nonsense words and whines from you, only encouraging his endeavour. The soft squelch of your pussy around his fingers and his mouth was enough to drive him to buck his hips toward the mattress.
When Satoru felt your soft thighs tighten around his head, he forced himself to pull away, grunting as you desperately moved to grip your fingers in his hair, trying to keep him there. If he hadn't had such strong convictions, he might have stayed down there for the rest of his life, dying happy with his face buried in your pretty cunt.
Satoru straightened his form, his fingers pulling out to find your clit, rubbing it in soft circles. You protested, whining pathetically.
"I know, I know, sweet girl, I'm sorry. Wanna... wanna have you cum on my cock. Can y'do that love? Want you all over me.."
He was mumbling, staring into your eyes with his pupils blown wide. The blue of his irises was overtaken by those black orbs, capturing you in his sight. His chin was wet and dripping, and his lips were slightly swollen.
A gorgeous mess for you to gaze upon.
Satoru's eyes dropped down to the sweatpants he threw on earlier (and called Suguru about just to make sure it looked "casual but not fuckboy"―Suguru called him a dumbass and hung up), carefully bunching up the fabric as well as his boxers before pushing down. Hissing as his length perked up, angry and weeping pre, he breathed a little heavier than before, his shoulders rising and falling. Satoru hadn't felt this worked up in months, maybe years, all from this.
For you.
And you would not be lying saying that had to be the prettiest dick you'd ever seen.
"Shit― look at that, hah," Satoru softly chuckled. "Lift your legs up f'me, pretty, come on.."
He grinned down at you as he helped you push your knees up to your limit, delicately placing your ankles on his shoulders and leaning his torso forward. Satoru placed one of his palms behind your cranium, a small yet protective measure.
"This okay?" asked Satoru, nudging his tip against your folds, collecting your slick to drench his cock, gliding over your clit.
"Y-Yeah, this is fine..."
It was rare for you to be nervous, given that you were used to having sex, filming it, and posting it for hundreds to see. Intercourse was not something you had any insecurities about. Usually.
What caught you off guard was the look in Satoru's eyes, the way he carried himself with a gentleness foreign to anything you've seen from him.
Satoru leaned down to press kisses against your jawline, open-mouthed and delicate, exhaling as he guided his length past your entrance, satisfied at the small gasp he heard from your lips.
"Oh my god, it's even fucking better than I imagined," said Satoru, his voice strained.
He could feel the stretch, your walls fluttering to accommodate him, still so tight and fuck―the tiny high-pitched, almost inaudible whimpers that escaped your throat.
"Don't know if I'll be able to pull out, sweet girl, hah―shit―she's sucking me in, look."
"Then don't," you mumbled, turning your head to meet his lips.
"You can't say shit like that," Satoru scoffed.
"Why not? I want it."
If you were simply pretending for the camera, that was some damn good acting. Good enough to turn Satoru into putty in your hold, to shut his brain off and make him act on instinct alone, script be damned.
Satoru pushed in until his pelvis hit your flesh, his hold on you faltering in strength momentarily, a helpless expression on his face. He listened to your quiet whines, his free hand returning to your clit in hopes of easing the strain.
"Just fuckin' perfect, holy fuuuck―" he strained out.
He withdrew his fingers from your clit to taste you once more, addicted. He drew his hips back slowly, just enough to leave about an inch inside, before thrusting back in at a slightly faster pace, setting a rather slow, intimate rhythm for you to follow.
Satoru watched as your breath picked up, how the slow rock of his hips made your eyes unfocus, and your mouth hang open. He watched as your forehead started to sweat, how your hair moved along his movements.
More importantly, Satoru listened. He heard those moans, shakier and uncalculated. He knew he wasn't crazy earlier when he had the reflection that you had been faking them.
Actually pathetic, those "men" you had been with.
"You're so pretty, y'know that?" Satoru mumbled, out of his mind. Like he was a schoolboy talking to his second-period crush. "So pretty... s'not fair..."
"H-Huh―?"
"S'not fair how it's gonna be―mh, shit―over, how s'gonna be over."
Satoru angled his hips differently, aiming for that spongey spot he had found earlier. That said, he would have had to be able to think straight to get it on the first try; which he could not, not when he was buried deep inside your cunt.
"W-What―aah, fuck, Satoru~"
You couldn't recall any shoots you had done―or any sex you had had at all, actually―that felt as good as Satoru.
"Right there, right? S'that i-it?"
He drove his movements faster, his pelvis hitting the back of your thighs and your ass with a louder SMACK! than it did previously, his breaths becoming further shallow and desperate. His skin grew increasingly damp as his efforts increased, and what were previously grunts turned to shameless moans, whines and whimpers, wanton and needy.
The man was losing his mind, so unlike anything you had seen from him.
Satoru's thrusts soon became erratic and uncoordinated, his face buried in your neck, drinking all of the sounds you were making like he was getting drunk on them.
"Can't... won't last l-long, okay? M'sorry I can't..." Satoru wailed.
His hand found your breast, flicking at your nipple in hopes of making you cum faster, needing to feel you. You were teetering on the edge, and he could feel it, feel how your pussy drew him in.
"Y'know you've been― y'been teasing me for two fuckin' weeks―aah... shitshitshit, so so g-good―two weeks." He paused to groan, pinching your flesh between his index and thumb to elicit a reaction from you. "Can't get enough of you, you're so―and you know it, you fuckin' know it too, I-I know y'do."
"Satoru! So close, please d-don't stop," you yelped, walls constricting around his length.
"Y-Yeah, pretty, I know, fuck―I know, sweet thing. I got you," Satoru panted and tightened his grip on the back of your head as if to brace for impact. "Y'do know how to drive me fuckin' crazy, with―mh, you're so soft and pretty, m-makes me want to quit the business, make you my own, God, make you my pretty wife."
Satoru's mind was running on overdrive, trying to keep up with what the fuck he was saying and making sure you felt good, as good as him. No easy task.
"Shit, gonna make you mine, I promise, fuck―"
His his stuttered as he spilled himself inside you, crying out like a wounded animal. It felt too good, it was too much.
Satoru kept going, although fucked out of his mind, determined to make you cum. He lapped up the sweat from your neck, not caring if it was nasty, while he reached down to your clit once more, slapping the sensitive bud a few times, stopping when he felt your cunt constrict and clench around him, a nice little ring of creamy mixed arousal forming at the base of his cock, gliding down your ass and spilling on the bedsheets.
"Such a mess, oh my God," Satoru whined.
He gathered some on two of his fingers, wiping it right off of your skin. "Taste it f'me, pretty," Satoru groaned.
He could have ascended to heaven right then as you wrapped your lips around his digits, glossy eyes peering up at him through your lashes.
"I gotta keep you."
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