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What's Mine
Summary: Bucky pushes you too far and decides to explain how your situation works. Or doesn't.
Word Count: ~2.3 k
Warnings: Dark Fic, Implied dub/non con, Power imbalance. Please let me know if I missed any.
Previous Part
It's been a few months since Bucky "claimed" you. He followed up on his promises of taking care of you. You frequently woke up to some surprise gift or another. One day it was a fully stocked kitchen. Another day it was the leak in the bathroom sink getting fixed. More than a few times it's been jewelry with his initials on it.
And all it cost was letting him use you. You swear a piece of your soul dies every time he makes you cum. Every time he coats you in his semen. Every time you match his fervor. It might not be so bad if he didn't gloat every time. That damn smirk haunted your dreams. Or was it nightmares? What was the difference anymore?
It had definitely affected your standing in the community. People were scared to interact with you. Fewer parents brought their kids to the library when you were there. Ruth and her friends had no problems calling you all sorts of degrading things under their breath. You definitely caught them giving you the evil eye more than a few times.
Part of you suspected that if you'd quit trying to fight him he'd lose interest. He liked when you were in a fiery mood. If you could just give in, give up, he'd likely stop using you. But you couldn't help yourself. You hated him. You hated yourself for enjoying the pleasure he gave. That hate needed an outlet.
You pull into your driveway, no longer surprised to see Bucky's bike there as well. You sigh, wondering if you can talk him into to leaving. You're exhausted. Walking into the house you don't even have a chance to take your jacket off before Bucky is on you.
"Bucky, please no. I'm just too tired."
He chuckles, "don't worry. I'm just really happy to see you. We're going out tonight."
You sigh, "I'd rather stay in."
"Then that means you have the energy for me all night."
"Ugh, fine. Where are we going?"
"I've got you an appointment at the tattoo parlor."
"WHAT?! I hate tattoos! I can't get any!"
He smiles as he growls at you, "you're going to get a tattoo just for me. No one else is going to be able to see it, but we'll know it's there."
"Isn't the jewelry enough of your 'ownership'? You even got me a brooch for my cardigans with your initials!"
Bucky licks his lips, "it was just the beginning, Doll. So far everything I've done to mark you are things that can wash away or heal up. This is the next step."
"I refuse," you declare, crossing your arms.
"Fuck, Doll, you're getting me riled up." He puts his arms on each side of your head, boxing you in against the wall. "And you're getting that damn tattoo. We can either go now, while you're still cleaned up, or after I've fucked your brains out and you're a cum covered mess."
"Fine," you drop your head. "Let's go to the tattoo parlor."
"Not yet." He grabs you chin and makes your look at him. "You need to thank me, first, Doll."
Bile rises at the back of your throat. "Thank you for letting me preserve my dignity."
He laughs. "Give me another," he taunts, using the same voice as when he's telling you to give him another orgasm. You hate yourself for the involuntarily clench your pussy does.
"Thank you, Bucky, for...for introducing me to Bunny. It is nice to have a friend." A friend who understands how fucked you both are, you think.
That gets a more sincere smile on his face. "It is important to me that you know my best friend and his girl. I'm glad you're good to them. Bunny is gonna need you when she's pregnant."
"What are friends for," you dryly reply.
"That's my good girl, Doll."
The tattoo is pretty much what you expected. His initials, right over your heart. If you wore anything low cut, it would be obvious. You were sure that was the point: can't even show a hint of skin without reminding everyone who it actually belongs to. At least it wouldn't be a problem at work, given you always dress conservatively.
By the time you're home Bucky is practically salivating at the memory of the tattoo on your chest. He might be eager to see this permanent mark of his claim on you but at least he's willing to follow instructions for proper care so it doesn't scar or make you sick. You made sure to thank him for that, knowing he likes to hear it, and he reiterates, "I take care of what's mine."
"Any chance I can just get some sleep tonight? I wasn't lying when I said I was tired."
"I'm all worked up, Doll."
"I thought you take care of what's yours," you snap back. "How is keeping me awake, not letting get good sleep, taking care of me?"
He grips your chin and gives you a thoughtful look. "I suppose you're right," he admits. "Even a vibrator's batteries gotta recharge every so often, right?" You roll your eyes and he grins. "But I'm going to hold you all night and when you wake up, it's on. I know you don't work tomorrow."
"Is that why you helped with my budget? So I'd have more free time to be your personal toy?" You can't fight the fire in your voice. You're tired, yes. Tired of being so angry all the time.
"Aww, you admit you're mine," he teases.
Unable to hold back any longer you smack his face. "I have never been so angry or tired as I have been since you showed up. You want to take care of me? You want me to be yours? Treat me like a fucking person!" Tears are pouring out of your eyes, the stress and frustration of the months finally finding a kind of release.
Bucky glowers at you and grabs your throat with his metal arm. "You shouldn't have done that, Doll."
"I don't care anymore," you croak.
That seems to catch him off guard as his hand loosens and his face softens.
"Oh, Doll," he shakes his head. "You really should've said something sooner." You squeeze your eyes shut as more tears start falling. He removes his hand from your throat and brings you in for a hug, causing you to cry even more. He pats your hair and coos, "there, there," until you can't cry any more.
"Let's get you to bed," he says quietly.
"I...I don't...I don't understand."
He gently lifts your chin, "you know, before Bunny ran, I tried to warn Steve he was being too controlling. That she was going to bolt. He didn't listen and, sure enough, she escaped. Wouldn't surprise me if she continued to try because he hasn't learned to loosen his grip. I don't plan on repeating his mistakes. Yes, you're mine and you'll never be rid of me. But that doesn't mean I can't be benevolent."
You sniffle as your brain tries to comprehend the sudden change in his demeanor.
"Now lets make sure that tattoo is properly cared for," he says with a soft kiss to your forehead.
"I...I hit you," you stammer.
"You're over-stressed and tired," he shrugs. "If I thought you were doing it just because you wanted to hurt me, yes, there would be repercussions. But I've apparently been overworking my poor Doll, so I'll forgive that one smack." His tone at that last part implies any more attempts to lash out at him will be punished.
"Thank you, Bucky," you murmur as you hang your head.
"Mmmm. That's more like it. Now let's get you to bed and tomorrow we'll work on your communication skills."
You wake up feeling like you're hungover without having had any alcohol. The delicious smells of breakfast lure you out of the bed, even though you dread meeting the cook.
Bucky's shirtless and smiling as he works. If you were in anything close to a healthy relationship you'd smile at how happy he is. Instead you keep your head down, trying not to think about that metal hand wrapped around your neck. About how those muscles feel pressed against your back, or on top of you.
He sees you and gestures for you to sit at the table. He brings you a plate of breakfast, a mug of coffee and kisses the top of your head before sitting across from you. You don't eat right away like he does, lost in your confusion about this change in behavior.
"Eat, Doll," he orders. "I didn't stock your kitchen and cook this up just for you to let it go cold."
"What is going on?" your voice is barely above a whisper.
"I'm taking care of my girl," he answers, nonchalantly. You look at him like you've never seen him before and he sighs. "Eat, or I will force it down your throat."
You grab a slice of the toast and start chewing. "Thank you, Bucky," you grumble and he nods in his approval.
"One of the differences between me and Cap is that I know I'm a monster," he tells you between bites. "He likes to think we've done all of this to keep his girl safe and give her the life she always wanted. I know better. But we've been best friends since we were kids. Ride or die, you know? So I'm always going to have his back. I've just made peace with the fact that it means ruining lives."
"You never tried to talk him out of it? Out of taking over an entire town?"
He shakes his head. "Steve's the kind of guy who can never be talked or distracted from his goal. One of the things I find endearing about him."
"So, he gets you all to take over everything here and you, what? Enjoy the spoils?" Feeling the bile rise at the back of your throat, you go for another slice of toast to try to settle your stomach while keeping Bucky happy.
"It's a balance," he grins. "We take over and just start doing whatever the hell we want, a lot of people are going to die trying to get rid of us. So we set up some rules for our men. People will remain upset, of course, but they're less likely to 'rise up' so long as we have a level of restraint. It's, honestly, the biggest part of my job as Cap's second."
You think on this for a minute, mindlessly eating. "I get why the town, but why me?"
He shrugs, "I needed the stress relief. It ain't easy keeping a crew in line and I was initially just hoping for a quiet spot to read to calm down. Then I started watching you. Saw you expertly handle all kinds of difficulties. When you snapped at me, I figured, like me, you could use some stress relief."
"Stress relief?!" He gives you a look that has you clamming up.
"And fuck you were so good," he muses. "That first photo is still the background on my phone." Heat rushes to your face. "I decided to go ahead and keep you as mine. You're not only a good fuck, but you were quick to befriend Bunny. Everyone else who sees her with Cap has decided to avoid her. Something I know you've been experiencing, even though you haven't told me." You look down, unable to say anything. "I honestly thought you liked the rough treatment and was happy to give it, but I'm guessing we hit a limit for you."
"You branded me," you snarl.
"No, I got you a tattoo. Branding is something else and would've hurt you a lot more." His tone is stern and you return your attention to your food. "You've played a critical role in helping me keep things under control. Plus, since you're my girl, you get some privileges and protections. You think Steve would've beaten up Walker for some random librarian? No. But for his best friend's girl? That's another story."
"So, you're just going to keep using me?"
"Yes," he nods. "And now that I know more about your limits, I'm less likely to get stabbed in my sleep."
You look at him, aghast, "that's why you never stayed the night before?"
Bucky chuckles, "so smart. I love it. And now that you have more information, hopefully you're smart enough to put the rest of the pieces together."
"If I hurt you, Steve drops everything to find and kill me. Probably painfully." He nods. "If I make you angry, you're likely to take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it or you lose control of your men for long enough that they hurt someone who doesn't deserve it." He nods again, smiling at you. "And if I stop playing along like everything is okay, it's another sign to the townsfolk that might set them over the edge and have them shooting, getting hurt, or worse."
Bucky finishes his breakfast, nodding at your conclusions. "God, I love that you're so smart. Makes a lot of this so much easier." You start sniffling and he reaches across the table to gently grip your chin. "I get that this is a lot to take in, Doll. But I know you'll make the right decision. If you really didn't care about this town, you'd have left when you only had a skeleton budget. You're willing to work yourself to the bone to take care of these people, you're willing to be mine to keep them safe."
"I can't say 'no'," you whimper.
"But it doesn't have to be all bad. Remember, I take care of what's mine."
Previous Part
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly
#biker!bucky barnes x librarian!reader#dark!bucky barnes#biker!bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x librarian!reader#dark!bucky barnes x librarian!reader
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L: I told you to leave me alone
R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.
Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.
L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave
R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-
L: Fine! How many!?
R: Pardon?
L: How many papers, Raymond?
Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.
R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...
He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.
R: 86 papers, sir.
L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.
R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!
L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.
R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!
L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.
Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.
R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!
L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.
Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.
R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.
L: ...
R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...
Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.
L: What did those old bastards say about me?
R: Just the usual sir.
He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.
R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.
L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!
R: Yes sir. You could...
L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!
R: (Works every time)
___________________________
It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.
R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over
L: Finally, for fuck's sake...
The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.
R: Sir your profanity.
L: Ray I'm too tired to care.
R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.
L: What's the time?
R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.
L: You don't say.
The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.
R: You're bleeding!
L: Don't-
Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.
R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?
He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.
L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...
R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?
L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect
R: How so? How can you just- See?
The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.
L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.
R: That's... Not as bad as I thought
L: You think about going blind?
R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.
L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~
R: My King-
Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.
L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?
R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.
L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.
R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?
L: There are bad sides of it of course
R: Like what?
Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.
L: Knowing I'll never actually see you
AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon 😭😭😭 Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!
THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#ask#royal au ask#leshycat#leshy x yellow cat#not my writings but i dont want to lose this so#writings
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Satoru gets back late
MINORS DNI - Tags: Yakuza AU, Fluff
Satoru huffed the long day away.
The traffic away from Ryomen headquarters was stifling, a sea of red car lights in tandem with each other as though the world just knew that Satoru was trying to come to see you.
He trudged out of the elevator and made his way down the hall to your front door. It wasn't unusual for Satoru to let himself in seeming as he had his own key.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Doll," he opened the door looking down at his feet just as low as he felt. "I got called into an emergency meeting that I couldn’t get out of. My boss is an asshole.”
You said nothing, he noticed you standing right there in the hallway by the living area with a look on your face.
“What?”
A raised brow should have told Satoru everything he needed to know, but he was an idiot right now.
"What's wrong?"
Taking three steps towards him, your eyes darted around at his neck. “Have you been fighting again?”
“Huh?" holy shit how did you find that out with one glance? "No… No course not, baby.”
The glare you gave him was one that screamed 'don't take me for an idiot, Satoru Gojo.'
“There’s blood on your collar.”
Shit.
"Uh..." quick fucking think of something.
The thing was, you knew Satoru's position in the Yakuza, you just didn't approve of it. And yes, you got into a committed relationship with him knowing this, but that didn't stop you from voicing your concerns every now and then.
"Be honest with me, Satoru. How did that blood get there, because I know it wasn't a cut from shaving."
"Shit. I can't lie to you," Satoru slumped and leant against the closed front door, the guilt of even trying to hide anything sank like concrete.
"I can't stop you from doing what you're doing, but I care about your well-being. This fighting isn't healthy. What if-" you stopped yourself and bite down on your lower lip.
"I'm not gonna get injured if that's what you're thinkin' about, Doll."
"You don't know that. You just don't," shaking your head solidified that fact.
Satoru didn't know, however he adopted the whole live fast die young gig long before he ever met you, way before he even joined the Yakuza. It was just how Satoru operated.
Still, your large welling eyes stopped Satoru right where he was. "I'm sorry."
What else could he say right now that wasn't going to make you cry further? Nothing really, so he came over and pulled you close to him.
Maybe he could tone it down a bit, try this stupid method Sukuna suggested at the meeting and gather intel before smashing skulls. It just wasn't as fun though, was it?
However Captain Yaga would be back soon and then Satoru really would have to behave.
"How can I make it up to you?"
Looking up at him, he could see how red your eyes actually were. "It's not about making up, Satoru. It's promising to take care of yourself."
He nodded without hesitation. "Alright, I promise."
In honesty, you were the perfect person to balance out his pointed edges. And despite how far he wanted to go with people sometimes, most of the time it was only really you he wanted to impress and keep happy.
Everyone else could suck it.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#yakuza au#fem reader#x reader#reader insert#gojo x reader#gojo#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader
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Sentinel 9.6
Well.
At least we're not as fucked as Brockton Bay.
"Ugh, how dare crime be prevented so I can't beat the shit out of the people doing the crimes for my own catharsis" - sentiments of the utterly normal
This glimpse into the inner workings of these two has not endeared me to them any further, tbh. I think the time in which they can actually turn these impressions around is starting to dwindle.
So. Here's Sophia's worldview laid plain, and it's about what I expected. Might makes right, violence and desperation and greed are the true nature of humanity, everyone can be divided between sheep and wolves and she refuses to be a sheep.
Mostly I think I'm just curious as to what, exactly, shaped her to be this way. Like obviously whatever caused her to trigger is a factor, but I don't know if any parahuman has had a complete overhaul of their personality brought about by their power coming online; I suspect that she'd followed some version of this mentality before the worst day of her life (so far) proved her right.
I can't imagine Piggot would be thrilled that Shadow Stalker thinks so highly of her, or at least the why of it.
This is cool, though. Give Wildbow credit, he can make just about any sensation of using a power sound rad as hell.
*sighs* Fucking Nazis
At least Sophia is sensible about what to do with them
Another neat fight scene, this one is a bit quicker than the Travelers tussle so I kinda like it more. That and it involves beating the shit out of Nazis.
Ruh roh Raggy
hiimdaisy_adachi_murder.mp3
Oh yeah, why eliminate the villain who you know is a particular threat to you, specifically, when you can try to torment her first?
This isn't even me saying that Sophia should try to murder Skitter, bc obviously I prefer the latter to the former, but taking the whole thing of seeing her secret identity into consideration, the response to crossing paths should be "take her down fast and hard," not "put her back against the wall and make her panic"
It's gonna fucking break her brain when she realizes Taylor is Skitter, huh?
There's something really funny about how basically every outsider POV we've gotten on Skitter involves hating her ass. Truly cursed to be unpopular.
I like the logical weaknesses of Sophia's power so far. Things getting into her shadow form, like bugs, fuck with her ability to remanifest because she has to "shove" them out of where she's going to solidify. The electricity I'm less clear on, maybe just some quirk of what she's "made" of in her altered state, but it's a good way to explain why she can't just leap through buildings willy nilly. The thing with the gas/vapor absorption that gets mentioned in a second also makes sense and is pretty neat.
Hey Sophia do you maybe regret playing with your food a little bit
Also still cool to see Skitter's powers from the outside POV
God that's so cool
...Y'know, if these two could get over their bullshit for like, a minute, they could probably have some very cathartic hate-makeouts. More blood than normal for kissing but less blood than normal for their usual interactions.
Lol
Lmao
Nuts that what threw her off in this moment was looking for a secondary murder weapon to cover up her power's tell.
Also: get fucked Sophia.
And you fell for it hook line and sinker, because you're a petty tunnel-visioned sadist.
Got the whole crew doing the group pose, love to see it
Also: hi Aisha, glad you get to join the team, sorry you had a trigger event, hope the future scenes with you are less uncomfortable than your first one
Skitter is so fucking good at playing up the villain role, she really should be proud of the work she puts into it.
Not entirely sure why they're kidnapping Shadow Stalker, but I'm sure it's going to be another photo album moment for the Undersiders and their rise to prominence.
Concluding Thoughts
Y'know, a lot of trouble could've been avoided if Sophia just ignored that impulse to play with her prey. I'm not gonna be like "oh why can't she just rein in the violence" because every parahuman we've met so far is either a participant or facilitator of violence, but the cruelty is what's gotten her in trouble here. Not only did she only get baited into this trap because she refused to make an earlier attempt at the killing blow, not only did she take the bait of hunting down a lone villain while a PRT convoy was under attack by fucking Nazis, but the hostility might have been avoided if she hadn't gotten her kicks from tormenting and assaulting Taylor. If Sophia was just Emma's friend who hung back and watched as she tormented Taylor, things might've differently all the way back in the medical tent, but alas, she was a willing and gleeful participant.
Little concerned about what the fuck they're going to do to her, but there's nothing to do but wait and see.
Also, cautiously glad that Imp has arrived, she seems fun from what I've picked up via osmosis, again fingers crossed that her continued presence in this story doesn't involve nearly as much wincing as Tangle 6.3 because holy shit.
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▯▯/▯▯/20▯▯
OFFICIAL FEDERATION LOG
It would appear there has been a compromise in the Federation.
Several important documents regarding Cellbit ▮▮▮▮▮▮, Roier Brown de Luque, and their respective alter-egos have been stolen from the Federation facilitation. It should also be noted that both ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque have been in the wind since ▯▯/▯▯, and no one has been able to trace their location, including Agent Bluebird.
According to CCTV footage, ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque were last seen in an elevator at the west end of the facility, presumably heading down towards the basement. However, this is the last-known footage of them we have, as the majority of the cameras in the basement were found to be blocked off by a silky substance similar to that of Brown de Luque's webs.
This can also be backed up by traces of data interference in the keycard logs. It would appear the data cannot be recovered by even our most advanced technicians, but it can be safely assumed that ▮▮▮▮▮▮ used his keycard to enter the archive room that our files have been stolen from.
We believe the effects of both ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque's procedures have been undone, although the how and why of the undoing is unknown. Dr. ▮▮▮▮▮ believes the documents may have something to do with it, although I have a hard time fully believing just those documents could fully reinstate their memories.
▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque were not separated and monitored as well as they should have been. I believe this to be a catalyst for recent events.
Dr. ▮▮▮▮▮ and Dr. ▮▮▮▮ have placed themselves in charge of searching for ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque and tracking their whereabouts. I am to be one of their lead assistants in doing so, although I have yet to be informed of what will happen should ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque reenter Federation custody. This is exclusive information between the Drs, do not request it.
The Drs have informed that they have a plan, however - one that will result in no more future compromises, and will ultimately ensure the Federation's state of perfection.
Should this plan be successful, all traces of Paradox will be completely wiped from public mind and record, and any information regarding this alter-ego will be kept with Dr. ▮▮▮▮ rather than the facility archives. There will be no more backlash from Detective ▮▮▮▮▮▮ or Spider-Man.
As this log is being recorded, Dr. ▮▮▮▮ is discussing with Agent Bluebird the subject of tracking ▮▮▮▮▮▮ and Brown de Luque's location. We believe she will be a crucial element in this search.
Word of this search does not extend past the facility. Answer no public commentary on the whereabouts of Detective ▮▮▮▮▮▮ or Spider-Man if questions begin to arise. Leave it to the Drs and other higher-ups to handle accordingly.
Agent 18 [ WB18 ]
#SPIDER-PARADOX IS BACK BABY#i had so much fun doing this log format the first time i had to do it again#i don't really know where i'm going with this or how far it's gonna go#i just wrote this on a whole ass whim#but WE'LL SEE !!#sorry this isn't exactly spiderbit#please stick with me tho :>#spiderbit#spider-paradox au#qsmp#blue writes qsmp#long post#<< just in case ??
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.
#critical role#cr meta#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#imogen temult#liliana temult#ludinus da'leth#does this make sense. I feel like i lost my initial thread somewhere around the middle bc my brain is currently spread very thin#but tldr: it is extremely interesting to me that the fall of aeor is such a perfect parallel to the ruidusborn#i could also go on endlessly ENDLESSLY about how cassida and liliana play the exact same role#and also i could go on even longer on what divinity as a concept even means in a world like exandria#and how trying to compare it to our real life understanding of divinity is a bit fruitless#on the basis that a person can become a god alone but also that they themselves undeniably exist#but its so good. it ties in so well. brennan did a fucking fantastic job at capturing the abject horror of it all#also aabria iyengar if you can hear me PLEASE bring deanna back i will send you fifty dollars#and also hello i very briefly said hello at the live show and wanted to tell you how incredible i think you are but alas#where did these tags go#anyway#WOAH this is long. I should’ve been writing fic. alas.#really I don't think any of the hells are gonna be able to just. gloss over the casualties of it all. but especially mog and ashton and lau#tal has even already said that downfall made some things better for ash and some things Worse so I know I'm not too far off#I have. many many thought on how laudna will see it all too.#truly think she is going to be the most vocally horrified
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beautiful additions. don't hide them in the tags i love them. i was actually discussing w my friend king (he doesn't have a tumblr sadly ik but he has ao3) more abt this earlier so i'm gonna dump some things we've discussed/brainrotted so far.
on the hair, lilia's pink/red streaks are actually dyed LMAO so that might not be a marker. i initially said the marker is the eyes, yuu and lilia's eyes are VERY similar, but king made me see the light by proposing lilia's little ear tufts that look like bat wings.
malleus and silver see it and INSTANTLY make the connection. they actually look similar enough that ppl look at them and go huh, must be cousins and never mention it around them because it never comes up. cousins because who would assume that a third year is a first year's bio dad? nobody! except malleus and silver. they Know. they have the horrifying realization that they're father has bred like oh my god, he actually at some point got someone pregnant. they do NOT wanna think of their dad in that context. they didn't even consider he was capable of it. poor silver has struggle sleeping.
but like, lilia was fucking WILD at some pt man. it's a miracle he doesn't have 20 bastard children running around and this yuu is the only one. he has decades of child support to pay lmao.
we were thinking this yuu was born sometime after malleus hatched (a very rough time in lilia's life), so that time period between malleus hatching and silver being found. accidental fulfillment of the forgotten middle child prophecy lmaoo. but yeah statistically it's most likely for yuu to be a full fae so that's what i decided. king and i had a brief thing where we weren't sure abt the genetics of it, but in the end we decided the bat fae gene is recessive (based on a couple things) so rlly yuu ending up bat fae was luck of the draw and fate fucking w lilia once more. we also decided on her being 142 because that's a nice even number, and based on our eyeballing and at-a-glimpse math of how bat faes age that would make her abt 14 in human years. she got to nrc early because she's good at magic. so technically she is simultaneously the youngest and the middle child if u think abt it lolol
as for yuu's mom, she doesn't give a fuck abt lilia! or anyone/anything tbh. she's out chilling in the twst maldives with a glass of wine in her hand while her only daughter (we at this pt decided this yuu was she based on vibes) was off at school. she doesn't care abt if yuu meets or finds her father because tbf yuu's mom doesn't even know herself— could have been anyone really.
king also suggested giving yuu a neglectful childhood from an alcoholic parent for angst and i loved that. we love angst here. king said its incentive for yuu to be taken in by her bio dad and u know what that's fair. i was already on board before he even said that because i love making my characters be angsty.
this yuu sorta gives me "so self sufficient never even considered there was neglect" vibes. like that's just their normal. in her head it's like, all families are different. and besides ppl cook the meals at home instead of their parents all the time, doesn't see an issue w the fact she started to do this younger than most because her mom occasionally forgot to cook for both of them. she's probably kind of casual about her home life too because she thinks it's normal.
riddle's overblot is probably a culture shock to her because to well adjusted ppl they look and go, oh his mom is a helicopter parent and abusive and probably a bit crazy. YUU however looks at riddle and is thinking is this guy in jail or smth, because she literally can not perceive a parent being like that. literal opposites.
taking the whole school year to find out WOULD be funny, maybe as an offshoot oneshot moment instead of the actual fic though. because sadly and realistically the chances of sebek not being in the room whenever yuu and lilia are with each other until the end of the school year are slim. that, and lilia knows his boys are hiding something from him (malleus & silver still do not know if they should tell him, let alone how to broach the topic)
when lilia is officially introducing malleus and silver to her as her brothers lilia would probably also say something like "hmm, though i suppose if you were to go into technicalities, malleus would be your third-brother" (like half-brother. i strongly hc lilia/reven/maleanor and we also don't know how dragon reproduction works so for all we know malleus could have 2 bio dads. just saying). and it'll b a ??????? moment for all 3 siblings because they do not have the context to know that lilia means third brother as in yuu and malleus share ⅓ dna from him. realistically they all might consider that there's another brother they don't know about, or does lilia mean sebek?? they do not know. honestly it's probably like dad lore.
twst au where yuu is lilia's illegitimate child. lilia had a rough time you know, had a lot of one night stands, doesn't even remember over half of them. totally reasonable. so yuu turns up to nrc and lilia is oblivious because the notion of having a bio child has never occurred to him. but malleus and silver notice. they're staring at yuu suspiciously and then looking at each other like... you see it, right..... that person looks a LOT like dad, right.... like A LOT a lot..... yeah. and yuu is also oblivious!!! yuu's never considered who their father may be. they see lilia and are like oh cool another bat fae, don't see too many of those.
lilia snd yuu unironically bonding over both of them being bat faes w/o ever realizing they're father and child.
silver and malleus are in conspiratorial whispers like. DO WE TELL THEM.
in the end it's sebek who tells them but it's like, complete accident. like oh lilia-sama!!! i was not aware you had a blood child!!! and they're both like. ???? what — but then it processes and they're like, wait. pause. squints at each other. looks in a mirror. PAUSE.
#this is just my bastard!yuu though#ppl can imagine their own bastard!yuu however they want#i love seeing what other ppl make or do#twst#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#fic talk#twst yuu#malleus draconia#twst silver#sebek zigvolt#yuu#twst au#silver vanrouge#twisted wonderland yuu#fae yuu#sai speaks#bastard yuu au
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SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it
#the first half of the session was a random-off-a-rolltable encounter that had nothing to do with anything and gave us literally nothing#and used up all our resources and took a REALLY long time because it was-- you guessed it! another deadly encounter for some reason!!#that's 100% of the encounters we've had so far!#and EXPLICITLY not related to what we were trying to investigate AND creatures that drop neither loot NOR BODIES#(two wil o the wisps and a water wierd)#we did a lot better in this encounter but it WAS deadly going off CR#and the point is now we've done just a short rest and THEN found the Plot Thing-- which our bard used up a bunch of resources to access#SO NOW IT'S LIKE. OKAY LOOK. I WANNA PLAY IN THIS SPACE BUT YOU KEEP TRYING TO KILL US WITH THINGS THAT AREN'T EVEN IMPORTANT#ARE YOU ABOUT TO WHOOPSIE-DOODLE US INTO A TPK ON ACCIDENT HERE???#like... it FEELS dangerous and A Bad Idea to engage with in a way that paradoxically SHOULD mean it's safer in a game like this#like-- okay if this was ACTUALLY as dangerous as it feels we wouldn't BE here on session six. does that make sense?#like when justin had us encounter a lich at level two in session three and I was immediately like OH okay he must have a plan here.#clearly some Scripted Plot is going to happen because there's no other reason he would put us up against a lich three sessions in. you know?#we started dying immediately and I was not afraid at all as a player because I trust justin wouldn't do that for no reason#or be so stupid to have that happen accidentally#THIS CAMPAIGN HOWEVER.... I DON'T TRUST LIKE THAT!!!#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU WASTED ALL OF OUR RESOURCES ON A RANDOM ENCOUNTER FIRST AND YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE WE COULD USE THE ITEM YOU GAVE US TO OPEN THIS DOOR WITH A 5TH LEVEL SPELL#I WANNA PLAY IN THE SPACE BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S ROOM FOR RISKTAKING WHERE THE BAD OUTCOMES WOULDN'T BE UNFUN CATASTROPHIC#AAAAUUUUGHHH#[shaking him violently] what do you mean that random encounter was a deadly encounter again what do you MEEEAAN#'oh huh this fight's taking longer than I thought' THEIR AC IS 19 AND THEY'RE RESISTANT TO NONMAGIC DAMAGE??#THE WATER WIERD KEEPS DISAPPEARING BACK INTO THE POND WHERE IT'S INVISIBLE??? MY BROTHER IN CHRIST HOW DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO IT FAST#hhhhhHHHH!!!!#I SHOULD BE THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL THE SECOND HALF OF THE SESSION GENUINELY WAS BUT I'M TOO STRESSED TO HAVE FUN#cannot stress enough that I'm in a million campaigns and I never have this problem with other DMs or with Highly Dangerous DnD Situations#melliwyk's party are in mortal peril constantly and it's... reaching a point where it's tiresome for how badly it's wearing on the PCs#but it rarely feels unfun stressful as a player playing a game#I never feel like the DM is about to accidentally end the whole campaign by bumblefucking us into a TPK at random#you know? it's different. this just feels unmanageable
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I only come on tumblr when I'm at the very end of my rope and barely hanging on by a quickly disintegrating thread and I don't know what that tells you about me
#boygenius#lah posting#I took the drugs again#I'm worse but better#I will not stagnate#i have therapy tomorrow#it's gonna be another one of those times when I spend the whole time crying#I don't have anyone anymore that i can rely on to hold space for me when I cry#i can hold space for my own emotions now thank you very much#i'm extremely proud of that fact because six months ago that hill felt absolutely insurmountable#but it really helps when there's occasionally someone else to help with that#sorrow shared is half the sorrow and joy shared is double joy#and all that#but i'm really scared for how this is going to end#i'm in really fucking deep at this point#and it's only getting deeper#i don't want to lose my person or the farm or our plans for the future#but it can't go on like this#no matter what i do#and i can't make him realise and i can't do it for him#but i'm afraid that instead of facing the music and turning shit around he's going to choose a much worse way of dealing with things#If this ends i don't think i could ever date again#i know that's dramatic but i'm being very serious about this#i keep thinking i'm dating someone completely different each time but then every time without fail after a year or two#they get into a deep funk and can't seem to do anything but stew and complain and be mean and ruin any chance of being in a good mood#every single time to the point where i wonder if that's just what happens to people who date me#and i can't stand it because while i'm far from toxic positivity i take pride in choosing to not behave like that when things dont go my wa#but i can't risk letting this keep happening again. I genuinely think i can now be happier loving myself than i'd ever be trusting romance.#I've come so far in my healing and I can't keep letting people derail me who have no idea how to self-regulate or have self-compassion#I'm getting sick again. I can feel it happening in my body
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#so that dotd rewrite is out and i have some thoughts on it but i wouldn't know where to put them.. maybe in here bc i don't actually feel -#- like making a whole ass text post. this is coming from me as criticism and not hate.. just some crit from one fan to another if you get m#SPOILERS AHEAD >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#first off props to the team because this was obv a labor of love - 4 and a half years to make a feature long fan movie is hard work#and the animated stuff was a really nice touch and very commendable - you don't see them too often in big fanworks#in terms of the story well.. there are some things i like and some things that i don't (personally) again no hate#i'm aware this is a rewrite and boy howdy it IS a rewrite - though i am a bit sad that percy doesn't end up being the protagonist and it's#- thomas that has to play hero again.. like i kinda get it but what made the original dotd stand out was that percy was given the spotlight#so i spent an ungodly amount of time wondering when percy was gonna take charge or step into the main story to resolve the problem.. sigh#i liked that they tried to give norman more of a character bc a lot of characters do often get neglected in the series but it was kind of -#- hard to sell that for me? the twist in this rewrite was very creative and i do appreciate it but i guess it just ain't for me#“different” is ok and this is just one of many fan rewrites for this particular story#if there was something i enjoyed.. i guess the beginning was still kind of exciting because the set up was honestly like hype a bit#i liked that diesel and d10 actually got to interact face to face and there are clearer dynamics established for the diesels#and also. silverband's performances as d10 will always be fun he does a fantastic job voicing him (how d10 stole xmas will still be my fav)#my criticisms for this movie also derive from the pacing and the voice acting - i found it hard to try and understand tones sometimes -#- because the delivery felt so off.. like don't get me wrong not everyone in the fandom is a voice actor but if we're using static faces -#- for these fan works the delivery has to be a little more clear or else it'll sound like you're reading from a script.. sorry yall :"|#for the pacing i found it a bit hard to parse when some things were going on and how fast things were progressing#as well as the crashes.. that's also another thing bc i couldn't tell bc of the sfx and audio balancing - it could be better..#i wanna say. muffled voices do not substitute for a “far away”/off-screen voice bc i still can't hear it :“|#there were a lot of throwbacks and references to older thomas media/movies but some of them felt a little.. much?#if this is a dotd rewrite why are we getting some parallels with tatmr.. but i digress. at least they made diesel beef with duck a bit#there's a lot more i could say but i'm keeping those to myself. at the end of the day this fan movie was hard work for everyone involved#and you can tell some of the folks were having fun in there - props to them! i'm always glad to see more fan works in the community#we've come so far we're making feature length fan stories and rewrites that's crazy! i hope to see more in the future#fauxtrainpost.txt
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i have two youtube accounts open as well as youtube music and each of them have a different playlist open and each playlist has like the same song in them that i keep replaying but in a different playlist
#just me hi#'why?' because i don't like scrolling to the bottom of my main playlist in ytm >:T#this thing has 200+ songs in it do you know how long it takes to load?#not long! but my patience is nonexistent for ytm lolll#+ also i keep playing the same songs even though i don't want to because i'm trying to pay attention to writing here hvfbshf#it works! but also i am So bored fshfbd#so i end up leaving the doc and sort of strolling around my computer before going back and writing 3 words. then deleting them and repeatin#i want to listen to some fun stuff but if i do that i might just completely break the thread of Focus#even though writing This has already kinda done that... hm.......#dunno!#/also want to draw right now but this is a rare moment of me actually being able to write loll#and i've gotten incredibly far! if we're referring to my personal record hdfhv#and also i don't know what i want to draw. .-.#i did a dooble page yesterday but the readability is Not great hfvs#/whyyyyyyyyyeyeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#//i really can't tell when my tags are gonna get cut anymore like Hello !! why are they bubble-wrapped fshvs#i've said that before ik but listennn where is the Line here#//also been thinking of actually trying to make and finish an animation#i want to learn to do that but i do not like the idea of drawing the same thing 1400 times hbhvf#//OH it's gotten cooler recently!! super cool very sick :DDD#downside is that now when i run for a lil my lungs decide they're going to collapse on me for the Audacity of running in slightly chilly#weather lolll#which would be fine but man i wanna play with my siblings ffffffffvshfhh#i have to say no all the time cuz i know i won't be able to breath comfortably. sigh#which would be fine but it aggravates my cough too so ! :')#and listen. i am NOT losing a game because of some “”breathing issues“”‚ alright??#once i'm at that point it's all or nothing. these kids are GOING down#plus side though: i am so scary playing tag because i will just walk after them and still catch up#and there is nothing more fun than going slasher mode on your siblings‚ trust me hfbhs#//okey now i'm going to finish this chapter
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Well, I can't refuse an excuse to indulge lmao. Some of these explanations will have to remain very brief/vague in an attempt to tiptoe around spoilers, but I'll say as much as I can!
Honorary mention to Killers Walk which won't make it onto this list with an explanation because you know I just put it on here for sillies.
Be prepared for this to get pretty long!
(Don't Fear) the Reaper
This one's obvious, but I do want to mention that the change of parentheses placement was purposeful. (Don't) Fear the Reaper as in do, as in you should, as in you have every reason to fear them, but that "(don't)" is meant to imply a whisper from the reapers themselves. A plead. Please don't be scared of me.
One Way or Another
Also pretty obvious, but this one especially made it on to the playlist because I am struck with visions of an animatic of Sun going ham with his axe/knife on the counselors, montage style, every time it plays. It's just so fitting to how giddy and enthusiastic he is when getting his hands dirty. Then there's the final chorus, "One way, or another, I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna give you the slip, I'm gonna trick ya," which will be especially relevant in these coming chapters.
Wolf Boy
The first appearance of a modern song! I normally like to keep my au playlists to the era they take place in (take the Dead Mall Dare playlist, for example), but I had to break that habit for this au because there were just too many songs that fit too well to pass up. This being one of them!
The lyrics feel play a play-by-play of the experience thus far. Y/N has many bones to pick with them (murder being just the start), and they would give anything to just forget about this whole event and go back to how their life was before, but it's never that easy. I think "I ain't gonna play the same" touches on Y/N's refusal to look the other way. They had an opportunity to save themselves if they only played along, but they're playing another game entirely, and they don't intend to lose.
"Wolf boy" itself is undeniably clear (I mean, I literally made a Wolf Among Sheep reference last chapter), especially with the line about a puppy becoming a beast. They've seen how Sun switches on a dime, the way he puts his amicability up on the shelf like a prop, and now that you've made your decision, it's your head on the platter.
"Can you dig what I found?" reminds of moments where they first started putting the puzzle pieces together, and most especially when they discovered Jenn's drivers license. They won't be left alone anymore because they can no longer be trusted not to stick their nose where it doesn't belong.
"You think you're some tough stuff, I hope you're happy now," said after three of their friends have now been put to the blade, one way or another. They still don't understand why Sun enjoys their suffering so much, why it makes him happy to see them panic, and with how smug he's been about it all it's really starting to piss Y/N off. There's only so much empathy one can share with a serial killer before it becomes motive.
"If you're gonna huff and puff, I gotta save this town" because they've finally reached their breaking point, and they're prepared to drive the wolf out of town if they have to do it all on their own.
My favorite part about this song is how the vibe of the final chorus changes — and how sudden the change is. To me, this is the musical version of the moment the Final Girl decides it's time to fight back.
Shout
This one, to me, feels like a one-sided conversation between Sun and Y/N. "These are the things I can do without" being his implications of what he is willing to risk, and what he is willing to lose to get the job done. Because he has nothing left to lose, and that makes for a very dangerous person.
"I hope we live to tell the tale" The fish metaphor. The fish metaphor. You understand. "And when you've taken down your guard, if I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart" It bears repeating that he is still convinced he can change your mind, and you'll one day see his side of things. He would love nothing more than to wrap things up here and then live out the rest of your lives together as besties. But both of you know that's not going to happen.
Eyes Without a Face
The first song mentioned in the fic! (Actually, the only song actually mentioned in the fic so far. I gotta remedy that.)
"I'm all out of hope, one more bad dream could bring a fall."
"I spent so much time believing all the lies to keep the dream alive"
"Now all I can do is love what was once so alive and new, but it's gone from your eyes. I'd better realize." What can I say except that this guy is depressed and delusional. I hope you pick up on the themes of this one on your own because I keep trying to come up with ways to articulate why this one is important but I just look like a guy with his theory board and red string. Please tell me you understand. please. please. plea
Hungry Like a Wolf
This one is just for funsies. Something something Wolf and Rabbit dynamic. "Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme" something something he be flipping on that dime again. You get it.
Private Eyes and Somebody's Watching Me
I'm not explaining this one. They're both about stalking and seeing through each other's facades it's not that deep (it is).
Psycho Killer
Come on man.
Dead Man's Party
Oingo Boingo beloved. This one is one of those songs that is a mix of Vibe and Lyrics. Sun would kill somebody to this. It's just bouncy enough to match his vibe perfectly. The lyrics themselves are pretty obvious:
"I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder"
"Waiting for an invitation to arrive, goin' to a party where no one's still alive"
"Don't run away, it's only me"
There's more to it of course but alas, spoilers. You'll figure it out.
Dancing With Myself
If DFtR au were a movie this would be on the soundtrack, and yeah, Sun would kill someone to this one too. It makes me think about the times they've made their own company with the forest animals after being made outcasts, and especially when he extends an offer for you to join him— but, ah, that hasn't happened yet, has it?
Personal Jesus
What can I say except that this guy is too smug for his own good, and that kind of self assured vanity can only bring further tragedy. Sun and Moon are convinced that what they're doing is righteous, that it is justified retribution, that they are the heroes of this story. And Sun is personally going to do everything he can to convince you of that.
Bigmouth Strikes Again
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head"
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed"
"Now I know how Joan of Arc felt, as the flames rose to her Roman nose and her Walkman started to melt."
This guy is not joking. And his martyr complex is showing.
Tear You Apart
I pointedly look away from the camera. Anyway—
Y'all Want a Single
This one is so self indulgent. I just like to imagine Sun beating the shit out of somebody to this song I'm so sorry. This is the song where he stops playing with his food and just goes balls to the walls.
Who is She
Hey, I drew that vhs poster to this song!
There's just something so eerie about the vibe of this one, and I really enjoy the mental picture it draws of Sun and Moon's opinion of Y/N; how conflicted he is about their presence, how intriguing they are, how their antics are equally exciting and frustrating. This song is about them losing you. You, who they never had to begin with.
#4, Portrait of Mr. Boogie, AHS 1984, The Quarry
Skipping ahead on the list a bit so I can save the best songs for last. These four songs are nothing but atmosphere music for me. They don't personally relate to the story in any way (I mean, they're instrumental, so yknow), and are just songs that I keep on the playlist because I've repeatedly written scenes to them.
#4, specifically, was played while writing out the discovery of Chet's body (for real this time), and I'd like to think it's the song that would play during that scene were this a true slasher film, too.
Run Rabbit Run
Yeah yeah rabbit is in the title. Yeah yeah Moon made reference to this very song in his rhymed threat about a hunter coming for a trapped rabbit. But also this song is immediately relevant to the next chapter :) and I can't say more than that.
Now we're getting into heavy spoiler territory. These next three songs will be kept purposefully vague, but I hope you'll remember them when the time comes that all of it is laid bare.
Disenchanted
This song is about the tragedy. The tragedy that befell the campgrounds, yes, but more so about the tragedy that Sun and Moon endured as a result.
"Well I was there on the day They sold the cause for the queen And when the lights all went out We watched our lives on the screen I hate the ending myself But it started with an alright scene"
"It was the roar of the crowd That gave me heartache to sing It was a lie when they smiled And said, you won't feel a thing And as we ran from the cops We laughed so hard it would sting"
Sun and Moon were never given a chance to prevent this. They were always doomed from the start. When tragedy struck, they could only stand back and watch as decisions were made for them, as their very life was tossed around in conversation like it meant nothing. So they took matters into their own hands, and decided to flip the script.
The outcome has been miserable, but the beginning — their life before that point — was wonderful. It was home.
There's more that has to do with the lyrics further down, but you'll have to wait for the explanation on that until more has been revealed.
Dead Come Talking
Ohhh this one gets me Emotional every time. I can't say too much about it because this song and the one after it are both entirely about Sun and Moon's personal hardships, of which have not yet been properly addressed or revealed in the fic. I will say that the haunting they've forced upon the counselors is a shared experience, something they've personally been enduring for years, already. Sun and Moon are haunted by their past, by their grief, and in that way they themselves are the ghosts haunting the campgrounds.
Spring Break 1899
This is it. This is the most important song on the playlist. This is the song that plays at the end of Act 3. The song that plays when Sun takes in all that he's done, when the carnage sits before him and he's made to face every wrongdoing, every decision and path that has brought him to this point, and come to terms with whether or not he still wants to continue. Whether he has the strength to continue. This is the song that plays when he makes one final choice.
Echoes
The aftermath.
Do you perhaps... have a playlist for dftr?
As a matter of fact, I do 😌
It's a little on the short side at 2 hours because I am very specific with what songs get put on my au playlists, but that means each and every song has been picked with purpose (and I'm still adding more every day).
Also — you're right on the money with that song choice, anon. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say it'll soon be very relevant.
#DFtR au#please know that as we get into these next final chapters#you're going to start seeing them named after these songs#and you will learn what the song is referring to#and when that time comes I hope you'll be crying along with me
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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"This is gonna be my last pack for sure. I'm gonna taper myself off," i say, three days before i get someone to buy me a second pack
#i worked a graveyard shift and on the way home i drove around for 2 hours#and at a gas station i saw a homeless guy ive talked to a few times and paid him to get me a pack#idk i feel bad about it#like he agreed and he got something out of it too but it feels like a shitty thing to have done#like i feel manipulative for it#and on top of that there's the guilt for getting a second pack at all#bc how am i ever gonna quit if i keep doing that?#like i only have a year to stop#because once i turn 21 and have easy access it's gonna be a thousand times harder#and the issue is that i don't WANT to stop#i just don't want to die at 60 from a heart attack#and that's what's gonna happen if i never quit#like heart attacks are one of the most common smoking fatalities#and heart issues already run in my family#and i already take adderall (adhd not recreational) which probably puts strain on my heart even without smoking#but i really really like being able to smoke#i like having something i can fall back on#and it's so easy to imagine a life where i never make myself give that up#and there's also the added benefit that it feels.... validating? in a way?#like it feels like proof that i struggle with shit#bc healthy people aren't addicted to cigarettes#and that almost feels manipulative too#bc i already HAVE proof that i struggle with shit#i take SNRIs every day and have a history of suicidal ideation/behavior going back as far as i can remember#which means this isn't about validation#it's about wanting other people to see that I'm struggling and assume things are worse than they are#and tbh maybe it's about wishing things WERE worse than they are#like if my mental health is bad enough for me to be a smoker then maybe it's bad enough for me to act the way i do#but deep down i know that's not really true#i chose to start smoking and i had to go out of my way to do it
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Everything changed when that pregnancy test read positive.
The day you fumbled into his office, bearing what you thought to be bad news, John's excited face threw you for a loop.
Wasn't he supposed to be upset? Tell you that he didn't want to have a kid with someone he didn't fully care about? Why was he crying? Why did he embrace you so tenderly?
"I'll be there for both of you, Dovie," Price reassures in the nook of your neck, arms caging you against his chest.
Take care of both of you.
Both?
"M-Mr. Price, with all due respect—"
Price cuts off your protests. He leads you out of his office. His large hand grips your waist more possessively. "Go rest your feet up in the lounge; I'll take care of everything." His lips press to the crown of your head, ushering you away gently at the reception entrance.
You were supposed to have one fun night, not to be locked in for the rest of your lives.
Your days of working at a desk were replaced with John's house. It was far from the bustling base you had grown used to. The space was warm and homey. Bits of memorabilia were scattered about. Medals adorned the walls, and old photos sat on the shelves.
John said you only have one job now: making yourself at home.
There was so much space that you didn't know where to start or even how to start! It's not like there was a plan for having your boss's child! So much was happening so fast it left you overwhelmed, sitting on his couch with nervous hands. "Mr. Price, I'm really not sure about all this; I mean... what we did was a big mistake, right?"
From upstairs, you hear John laugh. He's been up there all morning, fixing the nursery for your child. He wanted to create a special room for them, saying that his kid deserves nothing but the best. Heavy footsteps announce his presence as he closes the distance between you. Calloused fingers grip your chin, forcing you to look into his ocean eyes. "You don't want this?"
His touch has you melting, words dying on your lips as you get lost in those eyes. God, why did he look at you that way? Churning like laundry, your gut writhes. A violent spin cycle grips your innards, knotting and wrenching them mercilessly. "I never—I never said that; I just think we're taking things too fast, don't you?" The half-hearted mumble escapes your lips, unconvincing even to yourself.
John's expression shifts; his eyebrow raises in slight scrutiny. "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here."
He's right.
"I do-"
He cuts in swiftly, voice firm. "You don't."
John's grasp tightens on your chin. He leans in, eyes intense. Your heart races. His lips brush yours. The kiss—chaste yet electric. A moment suspended in time. Emotions flood through you both, unspoken but palpable. "You have me. Whatever you want is yours, all you have to do is say the word."
John waits, poised for your word. His eyes betray a craving—silent, deep, and raw.
He belongs to you. He's all yours.
Your lips purse in a line, lip caught between your teeth.
Anything you want?
"I don't like the color of the nursey..."
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
P1
❥ I wasn't originally gonna do a part 2 but... I really like this one, next fic will be longer, possibly fluff and smut maybe who knows ❥
#captain price x reader#captain price#captain john price#john price#call of duty#cod x reader#sunshine sunni
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NSFW
Toji calls you pup or puppy sometimes and you've always thought that maybe it had something to do with you being so playful and energetic at times, but those were always just your assumptions. Not a single one of those assumptions was confirmed by Toji, so you took it upon yourself to ask for the truth...
"Toji?" You call, looking up at him from where you sit on his lap.
"Hm?" He hums in response, looking away from the commercial on the TV and down at you.
"Why do you call me pup? Don't get me wrong, it's cute." You smile, feeling the warmth of the seemingly endearing name in your stomach. "But, I wanna know why."
"Mm... do you really wanna know?" You nod, bubbly giggles erupting from your chest in anticipation. You're so excited for this reveal. It's been a mystery for months. "Well, it's because you let out these high pitched, little whimpers, that sound like a puppy when I touch you, sometimes."
Glass shattered. Illusion crumbled.
Your face immediately heats up. "No... No! Really?!" You groan, shifting to lay back in his arms while covering your face in embarrassment.
"Don't be embarrassed, baby. It's cute. You're a sensitive little thing." His hand comes forward to rub your tummy over your shirt.
You huff, an audible hum of annoyance sounding out. "Well, I'm never gonna do it again. I'm just gonna stop. I'm done. Never again."
"You wanna test that out?" He asks, mischievous eyes watching your pouty expression. You nod, accepting the challenge. "Sit on my lap properly, like you were before." You shift back and sit up straight against his chest. He pulls your hands away from your lap. "Keep these here, and don't move them. Understand?" he asks, placing your hands on his thighs. You nod, again, and grip onto them.
His left hand snakes up your shirt, his fingertips teasing the skin of your stomach until goosebumps rise. It goes further up once the goosebumps have spread all over, sliding beneath the cup of your bra to rub your already pebbled nipple. So far you've only let out a couple sighs, so he adds in his other hand. It slips into the front of your shorts and beneath your panties, until his fingers make contact with your slicked up slit.
"Already so wet for me, mama. What happened?"
"It's always like this for you," you say, quietly, suppressing the urge to whimper as the pads of his middle and ring fingers rub your clit in such a tediously, slow manner. Your hands part from his thighs and attempt to grab onto his forearms, causing him to immediately pause the movement of the hand that plays with your nipples as well as the one in your pants.
"Hey." His tone is questioning of your actions, but there's the touch of a smirk on his face, like he knew you'd need more than gripping his thighs to keep you from folding so quickly.
"S-Sorry. I'm sorry."
He presses a chaste kiss to your temple. "Let's try that again."
Soon enough, those little breaths you released through your nose, became small, quiet whimpers, that you didn't think Toji would hear. He had to correct you so many times about the way you were sliding down his front. Eventually he decided to lift your bra entirely and just wrap his arm around your chest to hold you steady because of how much you were squirming.
"Toji, I'm gonna..." A louder whimper comes out, effectively bringing a victorious smirk onto Toji's face. He heard those quieter ones, but he didn't count them for your sake. You're his baby, after all.
He speeds up the movement of his fingers, his rough pads adding delicious friction to your sensitive clit. You tense in his hold when your orgasm hits, plenty of moans and those pet name earning whimpers, flooding out.
"There you go, puppy," he purrs, into your neck, slowing his strokes to not overstimulate you so fast. You grab onto the arm that's secured at your chest, your nails digging into his skin through the pleasure. He doesn't stop because you've already proven his point and he sees no reason to punish you anymore.
A few seconds pass and those whimpers return, accompanied by your thighs shutting around his hand. You curl up a little, holding on tight to his arm.
"Had enough?" He asks, stilling his hand between your legs.
"Mhm, no more," you mumble, sounding defeated after thinking back to the sounds you made and how this backfired entirely.
He pulls his hands out from your clothes and wraps his arms around you. "So pup and puppy are fair game?"
You sigh, and reluctantly nod.
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro x you#jjk fushiguro#jjk x y/n#jjk drabbles#jjk scenarios#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jjk#t#toji fluff#jjk fluff
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