#even though writing This has already kinda done that... hm.......

[keeps-ache]

i have two youtube accounts open as well as youtube music and each of them have a different playlist open and each playlist has like the same song in them that i keep replaying but in a different playlist

[busycloudy]

The Love Potion

  • I've wanted to write this for FOREVER but I kept forgetting to💀 

•  ft: Dorm Leaders 

• Tw: Kissing(Not much tbh), and a love potion. 

• Very fluffy fanfic and crack

• The reader is MC and goes by they/them pronouns. The reader is already in a relationship with the dormleaders. 

• They may or may not be ooc 

• Hope ya enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------

 • To your horror Crewel assigned you, Ace, Deuce, and grim to make a love potion. Fun right? Wrong! 

• For whatever reason you had some hope that they wouldn't do anything wrong, so you casually put your drink somewhere near the cauldron, leaving to go get something. 

• Grim accidently knocked over the cauldron, spilling it EVERYWHERE, and what do you know, some got into your drink! 

• "Grim! Why'd you knock over the cauldron!" Ace argued. "It was on accident!" Grim frowned. They started arguing and Deuce was just watching, until you came back and picked up your drink to drink it. 

• "Wait, no, MC!" Deuce tried to stop you from drinking it, but it was to late. Ace and Grim finally stopped arguing and looked over to see a MC with hearts in their eyes. 

• The trio brought you over to Crewel and told him about what had happened. "Are you pups always so stupid?" Crewel frowned. "Professor can you please just tell us if this is going to be permanent?" Ace asked. "Luckily not, but it will last 24 hours" Crewel said. 

• The trio did not want to be stuck with a lovesick MC for 24 hours so they brought you to your lover.

Riddle Rosehearts

"What have you three done this ti- MC!" He rushed over to grab you from Ace and Deuce's arms. "Riddle, has anyone ever told you that you look adorable?" You said. "Cause you do..." You also said, then giving him a peck on the lips. "W-What Mc?" Riddle was beyond confused(and flustered) Sure you guys were in a relationship, but you never were this affectionate in public. "Yeah, um, they kinda drank a love potion..." Ace said. After he said that Deuce, Ace, and Grim ran for their dear lives. "You three get back here!" Riddle didn't chase them though, still holding you in his arms. "MC, why you still hang out with those three is something I'll never understand..." Riddle mumbled while taking you to his room. "Hm, I wonder if there's a cure..." Riddle said as he layed you down on his bed, then starting to walk away, but he felt a tug on his sleeve. "Hm? Yes MC?" He turned around to see you tugging on his sleeve. "C'mon Riddle, just stay with me for a bit" You said with a fake pout. "Oh dear, MC im not so s-" Riddle said. "Please..." You cut him off. "Fine, but only for a bit" He said with a soft smile, going in to the bed with you. You guys ended up cuddling for practically all day. "I might have to thank those three..." You heard him mumble.

Leona Kingscholar

Ruggie took you to the lions room after the trio gave you to him and said"Take them to Leona for us!" and ran off. "What a bunch of wimps..." Ruggie said. You two eventually made it to Leona's room to find him... Sleeping(How shocking😲😕) Ruggie just layed you down next to Leona and went his own ways. Leona turned over to see a heart eyed MC. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't delusional. He realized you had drunken a love potion and smirked. "Leona, has anyone told you how amazing you are?" You said. "Nope, just you herbivore" He smiled, wrapping his tail around your waist to bring you closer. As he brought you closer he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. "Well you really are" You said, truly lovesick. You just gave this man a full on ego boost and he is bragging about it, love potion or not. You two cuddled the rest of the day, but lets be honest he would cuddle you for a whole day even if you didn't drink a love potion.

Azul Ashengrotto

Let's be honest he probably has a cure, but is he gonna use it? No. He thought you were just absolutely adorable when Ace and Deuce brought you to him, why would he use a cure? He told Floyd and Jade the reason he didn't use the cure was because "They clearly are not in a state to sign a contract and make an agreement with me." We all know that was a lie and he would never make you sign a contract for things like a cure. "Azul why don't you come and cuddle me?" You asked when Azul was doing paperwork. His face turned slightly red. You walked up to behind him and put your arms over his shoulders putting your weight on him. "Please?" You said with a fake pout. He eventually gave in and cuddled you on the couch some. Floyd came across the room and took some pictures to tease Azul about it later on. Sadly Azul eventually had to continue his paperwork.

Kalim Al-Asim

If he had any party's that day, he canceled them all when the Adeuce duo brought you over and said you accidentally drank a love potion. "MC! I'm so happy to see you! They drank a love potion? I'll make sure to care for them!" He said. He is just the sweetest most innocent person ever. "Kalim, has anyone ever mentioned how adorable you are? Because you are so adorable!" You booped him on the nose. He hugged you, cuddled you, kissed you. He did literally anything that was affectionate in some way. You guys were mainly in his room being lovebirds (In the most innocent way possible you dirty minded person). Near the end of the day, you two cuddled in his room to pass time.

Why is this one so short😭

Vil Schoenheit

Vil was casually walking around Pomefiore when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Uh, Vil, we need you to take care of MC..." Deuce awkwardly said. "What have you three potatoes done this time?" Vil crossed his arms. "They kinda...drank a love potion..." Deuce gave a awkward smile. Vil looked over to see you with hearts in your eyes and sighed. Deuce, Ace and Grim then left you with Vil. "Dear, why do you still hangout with those three..." He mumbled. "Vil has anyone told you you're gorgeous" You smiled. "Hm?" Vil might have been a bit taken aback by your sudden sentence. "You truly are the fairest in the land" You continued. "Thank you potato" Vil gave you a soft smile. The two of two walked to his room and hanged out most of the day. You may or may not have smothered him in kisses, which he then gave you a kiss on your cheek and forehead, leaving a lipstick stain. When you look in the mirror the next day you might see a lipstick stain on your neck.

Idia Shroud

Idia was playing video games as always until Ortho came in his room telling Idia you drank a love potion. Idia did not know what to do at that moment. Ortho put you on your boyfriend's bed and left. You kinda just sat there watching him play his video games and do what he normally does. Suddenly you had gotten up and draped your arms on his shoulders which might've startled him some. You put your head on his shoulder, and his hair turned pink. "Uh- Do you need anything MC?" He nervously asked. "Nothing, just wanted to cuddle you" You mumbled. When I tell you his face flushed, his face flushed. His hair could not have been more pink. He continued to do his things and you kinda just stood there behind him relaxing. After a while you had stopped and went to lay in his bed, and he soon joined you.

Malleus Draconia

The trio brought you over to Malleus and the sky may or may not have become a bit cloudy, but it cleared up right after because Malleus thought you were absolutely adorable in this state! "Malleus! MC drank a love potion!" Grim ran in the dorm, Ace and Deuce behind him, carrying you(So dramatic for what?) Malleus didn't expect you to be so affectionate. You sat near him on the couch, but then you layed down and put your head in his lap. "Malleus has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?" You smiled at him. He raised a questioning brow before you continued. "Because you truly are amazing darling" You continued. The sky was definitely a lot sunnier throughout the day to say the least. You guys cuddled near the end of the day, and really just most of the day (Sebek was not happy)

______________________________________________________________

I finally finished it! This took 10× longer than I thought it would! I don't really know how to write Kalim and Malleus so if their ooc, or any of the dorm leaders are ooc, sorry!

Hope ya enjoyed!

Edit: 940 likes!? Y'all are amazing! Just wanted to say tysm for supporting my writing and I'm currently working on pt 2! It might take some time as I struggle to write certain characters.

Part 2 here

Have a splendid day!

[thebluester2020]

[TWST] "Free" Lodging At SavanaClaw

Summary: After being kicked out from Ramshackle Dorm, you swallowed your pride and decided to go to SavanaClaw to try and convince the local Housewarden to let you stay until you found a way to get Ramshackle back. But, as nothing was ever free in your former world, the same rules apply here! Warning(s): Leona being a dick but that's the normal, Dub-con(kinda-ish?), Manipulation, Leona refers to the reader as "lioness" instead of "herbivore" (This reader has an attitude y'all, buckle up), Gender neutral pronouns (Reader is heavily implied to be a girl though), Edging(?), No active sex in this one just Leona feeling the reader up basically, Consent check-ups. Side Note(s): This may be the most inaccurate fanfic I'll write to date since I'm just now getting back into the TWST fandom 💀. But I vaguely remember (I think?) the MC getting kicked out from their dorm and having to shack up with Leona for a bit so I'm running off "You want something? What're you willing to do for it?" type of energy. Also, I will add to the idea that Leona drinks his "respect women" juice, so be prepared for those consent check-ups.

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

"...So, that's why I need to stay here..."

Never once in your life had you felt so small, so...insignificant as you stood in front of Leona's dorm room, after pouring your heart out about your situation and how you had no place to stay after making a shady deal with Azul. To be in a position of begging, pleading with to have a place to stay. You didn't know who to curse out first!

Crowley for not getting you back to your original world fast enough.

Azul for tricking you in the first place into making a shady deal.

Or maybe even yourself, for being so foolish in the first place as to think that there wouldn't be a backhanded price for losing a bet with Azul to begin with! And what's more? You still felt you weren't thinking straight, after all, instead of thinking that it was best to shack up with Ace and Deuce, your feet instead led you to Leona.

The arrogant prince who looked as if he were completely apathetic to your situation as if your very presence outside of his dorm room was an utter annoyance. And to hold yourself accountable? It probably was. No one wants to share their room after all, especially when the person in question had no clue when their new potential guest would be leaving.

But at the same time? It wasn't like you wanted to be begging either!

"Hm," Was the first noise that Leona made as his tail flicked side to side, scratching his chin. "What do I get out of lettin' you stay 'ere?" The beastman couldn't help the smirk that graced his already handsome features as an immediate furious expression took over your face.

"What the hell do you mean 'What do I get out of it'?!" You said in a mocking imitation of the prince's voice.

Leona then frowned before yawning. "Well now...that's no way to speak to someone you're asking to live with—" Before he could close the door, you quickly stopped it with your hand before you huffed. You took a brief moment to gather yourself, to suck in your pride and reaffirm in your head that there were no other options, no other people you could think willing enough to bend (or flat out ignore) the rules and let you stay in their dorm room for a little while.

Once done, you exhale through your nose before sighing. "What...do you want?"

The prince smirked, now you were playing his game.

Leona wasn't blind.

Despite the two of you not being on the very best of terms, constantly bickering whenever you both saw one another and having an unspoken rivalry of sorts. Be it in some of your classes together, who had the most biting words that day, or even you two simply getting in the way of each other! You two didn't like each other except...

Leona somewhat liked you. Enough to where he periodically had lustful thoughts about you from time to time that is. As he continued to think to himself, he thought about how great it would be to first have the only girl at this school. To make you his own personal toy, not that it would be an easy battle that is.

You'd ultimately call the shots, and he would simply have to keep your attention.

Something that he would easily achieve. "For me being so gracious to allow you to even think of staying in my dorm—" Your eyes widened a little when the prince leaned forward a little. And oh...how you hated how he smelled so good, expensive cologne mixed with a distinct wild smell that you couldn't pinpoint. But, you tried to keep your head afloat, the last thing you could afford was to allow your mind to be clouded.

You absolutely refused it.

"—how about you service me?" You visibly flinched at the idea.

"...You're not talking about an innocent back massage, are you?"

His silence was your answer.

And you hated to admit that the idea appealed to you, even if it was just slightly. Never once had you thought that the prince was ugly. Maybe in personality, sure but looks-wise? He was very attractive, as princely as the definition came, but to sleep with him? Just for a place to stay? She didn't know if she could convince herself to do that!

"What if I say no?" You mumbled.

He responded with a shrug. "Then I won't pressure you. I'm not so cruel as to let a woman roam around at night with no place to go." He said with a deep purr that made your very body reverberate. "But, something tells me that you won't say no."

You sighed, looking away for a moment before looking back up at him.

Although you didn't give him a verbal response, the prince saw your answer as clear as day in your eyes and thus, moved to the side to allow you into his room to which you immediately started to look around, only offering Leona a scoff once you finished your visual tour of where you'd be staying for some time until you came up with a plan to get Ramshackle back.

"Your room is messy." You said, eliciting a 'tsk' from the prince as he closed his door and stood back, giving you room to overlook his room.

"I take it this is a more than adequate place for you to sleep?" He questioned.

You nodded your head. "I can just sleep on the floor—"

"You'll sleep on the bed," He sighed, walking past you. "If you're sensitive about sleeping so close to a man then put a pillow between us. I'm not moving from my own bed."

You rolled your eyes with an annoyed grumble. "I'm not trying to kick you from your bed, nor am I sensitive about sleeping next to a man!"

Leona merely rolled his eyes as he strolled up to you before placing a hand on your shoulder, and he smirked at how you flinched as he slowly stalked around you until he stood behind you. The smell of your nervousness was clear, and even if his nose didn't function. His ears definitely picked up on it, from your squeaks each time he moved or the way you shuffled around.

Although he would never say it out loud...with how pretty you were, he assumed you to be more than familiar with the touch of a man.

Clearly, though, his assumptions were incorrect.

"So nervous lioness...never thought I'd see the day." He chuckled.

"S-Shut up," You hissed in response. "Just get this over with..."

Leona's brow rose. "I'm not into taking advantage of women. If you're not comfortable with me touching you then tell me." When you looked over your shoulder, his breath hitched at the sight of how fast the blood rushed to his cock. The arousing sight of you looking up at him through your eyelashes, your eyes darkened ever so slightly from growing lust. It was driving him insane.

"I need verbal responses," Leona's snapped you from your thoughts. "Can I touch you? I won't go any farther than that." He said, his hand still planted firmly on your shoulder to accentuate his point that he wouldn't make any sudden movements unless you said so.

You nodded your head. "S-Sure..."

At your consent, he was meticulous about where he touched.

First, he started with your arms, rubbing his hands up and down as he silently committed the feeling to memory. Smooth, almost...doughy in a way. And some parts of your skin were freckled as well. 'Cute.' He thought before he moved over to touch your backside. He ignored the whisper in his head that told him to teasingly slip a finger underneath a sleeve or perhaps underneath your skirt, instead, his tail flicked at the feeling of your curves.

And when he trailed his way back up to your shoulder, he poked at the back of your neck with his claw.

You squeaked at the contact. "So jumpy."

"Fuck you," He snorted in response. "Are curses all you have to say to me? If I'm observing you correctly—" You sucked in a breath when Leona's hands trailed over to your chest, touching at prodding at your mounds while he steadily got closer and closer to you until he was pressed up against your backside and...you felt his hard-on against your ass.

A shaky sigh left your lips. "So soft..." He whispered in your ear. "Bet they're even softer without these clothes."

"Stop being crude." You panted out.

The prince smirked. "Did you know us beastmans have enhanced senses?" He asked, changing the subject as he licked up the shell of your ear, tearing a shakey moan from you as you started to unconsciously buck up against the prince's hard-on, causing him to groan at the contact but nonetheless continue speaking and feeling you up. "I can smell your arousal, how needy you are for me despite trying to hide it."

"T-That's not—Ahh..."

Now this was something he would love to hear every single day.

Those breathless shy moans of yours, coupled with the sight of you unconsciously bucking into his hard-on and making it near irresistible to ask you if the two of you could go farther than this. If you'd allow him to taste you next, finger your cute pussy, or perhaps fuck you. But...he wasn't about to let you slip through his fingers just because he couldn't control his urges.

"L-Leona...fuck—"

"What is it?" He purred against your ear. "Want me to touch you somewhere else...?"

You sucked your bottom lip in, your panties were absolutely soaked as you continued to squirm against Leona's hold. Your control was slipping fast, you didn't know how long you'd be able to hold on before you'd say something you knew you would regret later on! And there were too many times when you wanted to ask him to stop, slow down, and let you catch your breath, anything! But...as Leona's hands began to untuck your shirt from your skirt and slide his hands up and underneath, the tickle from his claws dragged slowly upward toward your breasts making you buckle and flinch.

You broke.

Hard.

"P-Please..." You didn't know what you were begging for exactly but, the small word made the lion beastman's ears perk all the same before he snickered.

"A simple please doesn't get a prince to do what you want, be more specific."

"Y-You fucker—" You inhaled sharply when Leona gently pinched your nipples, silencing you effectively as a smirk crept onto his handsome features.

"What was that?" He asked.

You took another breath in and exhaled out shakily before you gulped. "D-Down there...please."

"What? Your pussy? Is it aching for my touch?" He asked with a devilish smirk as you nodded your head, even going so far as to try and press your ass into his crotch further. Cruelly, however, Leona forcefully stopped you with a quick yet light swat against the side of your thigh. "Then ask me like you're begging a royal. Do it or you'll have to settle. C'mon...you can do it."

You looked at the beastman over your shoulder once more, your eyes clouded over with lust whilst your lips were shiny and wet from you constantly licking your lips. "...P-Prince Leona," You started. "C-Can you touch me...there my pussy..."

Leona nearly grinned ear-to-ear from his victory before he sighed. "I would but—" Your eyes widened in confusion immediately when Leona slipped his hands from me, your form shaking as if you were left suddenly in the cold as the lion beastman walked to the other side of his room to grab his bag. "—I have class, Ruggie will chew my ear off if I miss this class for the fifth time this month."

You swore that you saw red at that moment. "Y-You fucker...y-you did that on purpose!" You screamed.

"What? To ask you to ask me something nicely?"

"You—"

"Calm down," He clicked his tongue. "You live with me now, remember? I'll touch your needy cunt when I get back." He said, flicking you in the forehead before he turned to walk out the door, leaving you to stand there in both shock and frustration.

You really needed to find a way to get Ramshackle back.

Fast.

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hello! I love your writing!

Could I request some headcanons of Ichiban, Zhao, Tomizawa, Seonhee, Yamai and Eiji with an S/O that tends to overwork, get way too stressed and burned out, and how they help them relax? Both SFW and NSFW?

Thank you! 🖤💜

Transitioning into a bit of a spicier mood after all the fluff lately, you guys are welcome 😌😌

Ichiban Kasuga

Ichiban really respects people as hardworking as you are! Thing is, you are not just hardworking—most times, you come home looking exhausted, and even though he always asks if you are feeling okay and you say yes, he knows that you’re not, deep down. He always says you can tell him whatever is bothering you, but considering how much of a busy-bee you are, you probably won’t do it anyway. So, he starts devising a little plan to help you relax.

An absolute ray of sunshine. He welcomes you home with his biggest smile and a bear hug, then tells you to sit down on the couch. You try to tell him you have some more work to finish, but he won’t listen: you are sitting down, he is bringing you some sweets and hot tea he’s just prepared. Only one thing: working tonight is strictly forbidden, doctor’s (Ichi’s) orders!

Once you are done with the tea and pastries (though yeah, Ichi did steal one or two; don’t blame him, they just looked too good!), he’s going to convince you, one way or another, to tell him about everything that’s been on your mind lately. Ichi has mastered the art of puppy dog eyes, and refusing those is hard. You can try, sure, but you both know you are eventually going to fold. Let it be known that Ichiban Kasuga usually doesn’t use the puppy look to get his way, but in this case... he’ll make an exception.

It doesn’t matter how long your story is, he will listen. Listen attentively. He can’t do anything to change that one deadline that’s been stressing you out, or that one co-worker’s behavior that’s been pissing you off more than usual lately, but he is one hell of a good listener and always willing to lend you an ear.

What he can do though, is help take the stress away. Tea and sweets and talking sure help, but you need to unwind some other ways sometimes too, don’t you? Don’t worry, Ichi gets that. Again, an absolute ray of sunshine, always willing to help—and if sex is the way then... Well, he’ll do it no questions asked.

He’ll do pretty much anything you ask in bed, because he knows you need it. His favorite thing to do though? Dropping to his knees and eating you out. Ichi is already super eager to please in the regular, but on times like these? He’ll stay between your legs and work his tongue on you for hours if you need him to. His beard kinda tickles, but that hair? He’s got perfect hair to pull, and he likes it when you do it.

Zhao Tianyou

He can pick up on your stress without you even saying a word. He’ll start doing little things to make your workload a little lighter—doing all the housework, cooking all the meals (though he already does that, pretty much), saving you some extra of your favorite dessert from the You Tian menu...

It’s Zhao, so of course the teasing won’t ever stop, but he will go a little easier on you. Even when he asks how you are feeling, it will be with a smirk on his face. Something along the lines of ‘So, when were you gonna tell me work’s been fucking you over harder than me, hm?’ He’s clearly trying to make you laugh with the utter absurdity, and he does. You haven’t been smiling as much lately, always fretting over one thing or another, and he really just wanted to make you smile again.

Oh, you’re getting one hell of a feast for dinner the day after you tell him in thorough detail what has been running through your mind lately. All of your favorite dishes? He makes them. Your favorite inciense smell? He bought it to burn just for the occasion. You want him to feed you strawberries with whipped cream afterwards? He’ll chuckle, then comply.

You need a good fuck to de-stress? He is your man. What, you thought he only dropped the ‘work’s fucking you over harder than me’ line to get a smile out of you? Of course not! What kind of man would he be if he didn’t deliver? So yeah, ask for sex whenever you need to let out some stress. Just maybe not in You Tian—his former Liumang boys still swing by every so often, and even if they know about your relationship (to be fair, it was pretty obvious), Zhao is not into exhibitionism like that.

You can try to take control all you want, but Zhao is gonna call the shots on this one. The best way to relax is to exhaust yourself, turn your brain to mush until you can’t overthink anymore. He won’t shove your head in the pillow though, unless you explicitly ask for it. He loves the ‘hard-yet-intimate’ type of fucking: just lying you on your side, throw one of your legs over his hip and thrust hard. Making out is way easier like this, too.

Eric Tomizawa

He’s been there himself, actually. Even when he was with Marie, when she left her job he started working extra hard, extra long shifts to get enough money to support them both plus their child who was on the way. He knows what burnout feels like, believe him. He knows it fucking sucks, and even if you don’t say anything, he can tell just by looking you in the eye that you are hanging on by a thread.

He’ll bring it up casually if you don’t—You’ll be spending your Friday night in, watching a movie, cuddling on the couch (and he insisted that you rest your head on his chest so he could play with your hair, though he didn’t say that last part out loud), and he’ll say “So, work sucked, huh?,” something along those lines.

Will try to give a super cool, motivational chat to help you feel a little better. ‘Try’ because he doesn’t really have anything prepared beforehand, so results may vary. He does a pretty decent job though—turns out he sounds way cooler when he doesn’t have a pre-fabricated answer. Figures.

He won’t give you any cliché bullshit of ‘don’t worry, it’s okay, everything will be alright’. It’s a very ‘Tomizawa’ pep talk. Yeah, burnout fucking sucks, doesn’t it? He has experienced it too, though he’s pretty sure your situations are very different in nature. We all have our own circumstances and different ways to help us unwind. So, whatever it is that helps you, tell him. So long as it’s something he can feasibly do, he will do everything in his power to help.

If sex is the way you want to unwind? Then oh boy, is he not complaining at all! He gets to help you out and he gets sex to boot? Listen, it’s not that he is happy you’re stressed and need his help, but he has this goofy grin on his face when you ask him to wait for you in the bedroom.

He is already a switch leaning to the subby side, but something about the way you just use him to get off and let out stress? Now that turns him on. He tries to keep up with you, but you are always ahead somehow. And honestly? He is not opposed to it. Hell, push him into the mattress, keep him down with both hands on his chest, ride him until he doesn’t remember his own name, he is into it.

Seonhee

She knows the face of stress. She knows because she is there on the regular, Queen of the Geomijul and all. And because she knows, she has a few tricks up her sleeve that help her relax when she feels like she might burst at the seams. Stress-cooking is her go-to though.

Will make you try out stress-cooking at least once to see if it works for you, too. As it turns out, it doesn’t work like she had expected. You just make stupid mistakes you normally wouldn’t make because your head is somewhere else (probably worrying), and the more mistakes you make, the more irritated you get and the worse the gyoza come out. Seonhee quickly learns that she shouldn’t allow you in the kitchen when you are like this. At least not unsupervised.

She has many mechanisms to cope with stress though, not just cooking, so she will jump to another one just as quick. And when cooking doesn’t work for her, what she does is take a walk down at Hamakita Park for fresh air, drop by Eomeoni’s Vow for some comfort food, then come back home for a warm bath, maybe do her nails if they look chipped. That’s what she will try on you next, and what would you know? It worked.

Korean food may not bring back memories for you like it does for her, but it is so freaking tasty. Seems like all you needed to turn your brain off for a while was a spicy dish of kimchi and rice or dakgalbi—but don’t pass out on her just now! You still have a nailcare session to get to when you arrive home, and Seonhee just bought brand new nail polish colors for you.

Honestly, she is probably the one who suggests sex to try and unwind. Seonhee is not one to mince words, she will just get straight to the point: well, you are stressed. Sex is supposed to help with that. So... wanna go to the bedroom?

She is a dom all the way through, so expect her to go hard on you as she fucks the stress out of you. She won’t stop at just one orgasm either: you are coming on her fingers, on her mouth and on her strap-on. If you can still talk after all that, then you can put that mouth to good use and eat her out. You can tell her to stop all you want, but unless she hears the safeword, she will keep going until you are too boneless to keep worrying.

Yutaka Yamai

Let’s be honest, his way to relieve stress before you came into the picture was probably going to hostess clubs and strip clubs. Not that you can’t do that, sure, but he would rather you didn’t since... you know, you are dating him and all.

He is more the type to enjoy nights out, but if what you need is a quiet night in with some comfort food, a movie and a blanket, that’s what you will do. He is giving you his jacket instead of a blanket though—and let it be known that for Yamai to give you his jacket is a big sign of trust and commitment. He’ll just have to turn up the heater a little.

He will listen to you rant about work as much as you need to, saying very little himself. Just the way he holds you and wraps his jacket around your shoulders is enough. Only times he will speak is if you started crying out of stress. His voice gets surprisingly soft, and even though his fingers feel cold on your scalp, they are cold in a comforting kind of way.

One thing about Yamai that only you know? He’s a cuddler. With how cold he is and how warm you are? It’s a no-brainer. He is a bit stiff the first few times, but he’s gotten a lot better. So you bet he is there for support when you need him, especially when you are feeling burnt out. Words may not be his forte, but he shows he cares through actions.

Let’s be honest again: his first suggestion was probably ‘so let’s fuck the stress away.’ He says it so matter-of-factly you would think he is being sarcastic, but he is not. He already very rarely says no to sex, but hey, if you are getting something out of it (aside from an orgasm, of course) too, then... Two birds, one stone as they say.

You are either going to be tied up or be forced to sit on his cock and not move. Pick your poison, you won’t be able to do anything anyway because he doesn’t want you to. He is taking the lead and not letting you worry about a thing. If you try to act all feisty, he is shoving you back down on the mattress. Behave and he will praise you though; ‘So you can stay still after all. That’s real good of you—stay put a little longer, will you? You’ll get a big reward if you do.’

Eiji Mitamura

Before his life went to hell? He was a bit... rough around the edges. He would just say ‘Damn, that must suck,’ but wouldn’t really do anything about it. You solve your problems on your own. After he hit rock bottom though? Things do a one-eighty. He is trying to be a better person with Kasuga’s help, and that includes being a better boyfriend for you.

He is still a newbie at this, but if he sees you are coming back from work looking all dejected, of course he will ask if you’re feeling okay. Poor guy sounds a little awkward, not used to asking those questions out loud. Not long ago, he only cared about three people: ‘me, myself and I’. Changing takes effort, and that’s exactly what he is putting in.

He will ask you to sit down in front of him and give you a massage as you talk about what’s on your mind. Unlike Yamai though, he will comment. He’s never been good at keeping his opinions to himself: if your co-worker was an asshole to you, Eiji will say it; if you could have acted better in a certain situation, he will let you know, too (albeit somehow more gently though).

He is not about to say no to having sex to de-stress, if that’s what you want. Truth be told, he considered asking if you wanted that, but he decided against it in the end—not about to act like back then, when he mostly just wanted sex out of you and that’s it. He is dedicated to changing, thank you very much. You’ll have to bring up the topic yourself if you need a good orgasm to blow your mind.

There are two ways things could go: he asks you to use him until you are totally relaxed, or you ask him to fuck you until you can’t remember your name. Man is a total switch, so it all depends on how he is feeling that day. He used to be way rougher back then, but he has mellowed down severely, and most days he is in a rather subby mood; ride and praise him and you will break him, he loves that shit. Even when he is the one fucking you stupid, one simple ‘yeah, like that, that’s my good boy,’ and his hips will stutter, his breath will hitch and you might even make him come embarrassingly fast. Don’t think he’ll be done with just that though; if there is still too much in your head, he is going down on you and making you come again.

[jujumin-translates]

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 24 - Family Wish

Chikage: Well then, take care.

Company Employee A: Huh? You’re not on the same flight, Utsuki-san?

Chikage: I still have a few errands left to take care of, so I switched my flight to tomorrow.

Company Employee A: I see. Well, you were a lifesaver this time. Thank you so much.

Company Employee B: It was thanks to you that we were able to successfully conclude our business negotiations, Utsuki-san. Their attitude towards the whole thing softened considerably compared to when we first asked.

Company Employee B: The power of language really is incredible.

Chikage: I’m glad I could help.

Company Employee A: Well then, we’ll take our leave.

Chikage: Good work.

*Footsteps*

Chikage: (Alright… Just in time to catch the next bus.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Chikage: (It’s going to be a while from here, so I guess I’ll get some work done.)

Chikage: …

*Typing*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Driver: 《Have a nice trip!》

Chikage: 《Thank you.》

Chikage: (I guess he can tell by my outfit that I’m not a local.)

Chikage: (Has it really been almost twenty years…?)

Chikage: (The city really has changed a lot since then. Well, that thing can’t be the same after all this time, right…?)

Chikage: (Anyway, the place where people are likely to gather is…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Shopkeeper: 《Welcome.》

Customer A: 《That was so crazy back then!》

Customer B: 《I know, right?》

Customer C: 《Dad, they said it’s still gonna be a while.》

Customer D: 《Let’s just have dinner first.》

Customer E: 《What are we gonna eat?》

Customer F: 《I’m not really that hungry, though.》

Chikage: (How nostalgic. Just sitting here, there’s all kinds of languages being thrown around.)

Chikage: (This is a great place to get some multilingual input.)

Chikage: (If we as a theater company are going to expand our overseas outreach in the future, there’s no better way to do it than to have correspondence in as many languages as possible…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Chikage: (If I relax for any longer, I’ll miss the bus.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Footsteps*

Chikage: (The wall of this vacant lot… there’s even more graffiti than I remember. Was there really that much written on it before?)

Chikage: (It doesn’t seem like it’s gotten any less safe, at least.)

Resident: 《That area’s already all filled up. You’d have to write really small if ya wanted to put something there.》

Chikage: 《Does the graffiti here have some sort of meaning?》

Resident: 《Ahh, so you don’t know? Somewhere along the line, a rumor started goin’ around that if you wrote your name here, your dreams would come true.》

Resident: 《Even tourists started writin’ things here.》

Resident: 《Well, the owner doesn’t mind it, so it all just stays here.》

Resident: 《At first, there were just one or two things written up there.》

Chikage: --.

Chikage: (This is… my name…)

Chikage: (There’s only one person who would’ve done this. There’s no mistaking it, that handwriting is his--.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

“Hey.”

“Do you have a family?”

“Do you have a dream?”

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Chikage: …

Chikage: (Dreams coming true, huh? What came first, the rumor, or the name…)

Chikage: (Hah, even now I still can’t figure out what he was thinking.)

Chikage: (Dreams, huh… Maybe the reason I was able to come here was because mine came true.)

Resident: 《Hm? I feel like I’ve seen your face somewhere before… Nah, you just look like an acquaintance of mine.》

Chikage: ?

Resident: 《You kinda look like an old colleague of mine. Your smile, especially.》

Resident: 《He passed away decades ago, though.》

Resident: 《His wife also passed away a few years back due to an illness… I’m pretty sure they had a son, but I think he was sent somewhere far away, or something like that.》

Chikage: 《...I’ve heard that I have distant relatives from around this area, so maybe there’s a connection there.》

Resident: 《Maybe so. If only his wife were still alive… I’m sure she’d be happy.》

Resident: 《A while back, I asked her about her son, and she said she’d probably never see him again, but all she hoped was that he wasn’t alone.》

Resident: 《Lookin’ at you, I feel like I’m seein’ their son.》

Chikage: …

Chikage: (Selfish to the very end.)

Chikage: (I didn’t feel loved by them. Hell, I don’t even know if I love them.)

Chikage: (As a kid, they were like a huge, detestable existence that loomed over me. Even after they left me, no matter how much time passed, they stayed imprinted on me, like a scar that can’t be removed…)

Chikage: (But, I get it now… I never have to look at this name again.)

Chikage: (It doesn’t exist anywhere in this world.)

Chikage: (...I wonder what this feeling is. It’s not really nostalgia, sadness, or relief.)

Chikage: (It’s like one small sense of closure… It feels like it’s fitting into my heart somewhere. Like a book fitting into a shelf where it belongs.)

Resident: 《If you have distant relatives around here, why not visit their graves?》

Chikage: 《--I’ll have to pass since I have a bus to catch. I need to get back to my family soon.》

Resident: 《Gotcha, have a good trip.》

Chikage: 《Thank you very much.》

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Chikage: (...I sort of doubt there will be anyone on at this time.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

UC has entered the chat.

UC: I’m on my way to the hotel near the airport now.

taruchi: gg

UC: Ah, I see. We must be fairly close.

taruchi: well, think i’m somewhere between japan and u

taruchi: how’d ur new challenge go?

UC: How indeed. I do know that I’m glad I came here, at least.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[damn-stark]

Before dawn

Takes place in-between chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

Requested by @sunnybunnyy2 “please please please if you haven't already can you please write about the fight Joel and reader had and why he left her? And or; more about tommy, Maria and readers relationship before she left? It's my favourite the last of us fanfic and I need to know what happened. I am living for all of your stories<3”

A/N- SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG, I JUST NEEDED TO GET IN THE MINDSET FOR THIS SERIES AGAIN, AND I ALSO HAD OTHER FICS THAT NEEDED TO BE WRITTEN, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH :)

Warning- ANGST, fluff, talks of death and suicidal thoughts, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

How long has it been now? 18 years since the outbreak happened? Since…Sarah died? Time just blends together now since it’s been so long. What you are sure of though is that it all feels like a lifetime ago.

What you’d give to go back, to see your sister again, to be with your dad and be a family. That’s your birthday wish this year, for the big 22, to go back in time. Or at least to have five more minutes there, in that bubble that was your life before the outbreak destroyed it.

Then again…why should you wish for such a thing? You haven’t even seen your dad in…8 years?

Yeah, it’s been 8 years now since you’ve seen him, since you’ve spoken to him. You’ve heard about him through your uncle Tommy since they keep in touch over some radio. Which isn’t the same thing, you know, but that’s the best either of you have done.

Sarah would be disappointed. But it’s not like you’re at fault for it! He left! He left you. You just—

“What are you doing?” A voice breaks you from your train of thought.

“Hm?” You hum and drift your gaze to the side, spotting Maria looking at you in confusion.

You look down at the dishes you’re washing and then look at her. “Washin’ dishes?”

Maria’s eyebrows furrow slightly before she just begins to shoo you away. “Come on, move over. Today is the only day you’re excused from your chores, remember?”

Oh right, birthday pass. There’s too much running in your mind to remember.

“You okay?” She asks as you step aside to let her take over.

She knows you well, she’s known how to read you since the moment you met. It’s touching, but kinda weird too.

She’s too observant.

“Yeah,” you lie. “Yeah.” You nod.

Maria’s eyes narrow on you, they dig in you. You can feel the burning sensation, so you just avert your gaze and turn to lean back against the kitchen counter.

“Grease,” you blurt. “I want to watch Grease tonight.”

Maria keeps studying you, but she doesn’t choose to press you, she looks at the dishes and nods slowly. “Okay. And hey, I still have some of that nail polish. We can do each other's nails while we watch the movie.”

You smile at the ground and nod eagerly. “Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ll go get it and start the movie.” You push yourself away and hurry on to do what you said while you think. You try not to, you really try not to think, but it’s impossible now, it’s hard not to think about memories on your birthday.

Sarah used to paint your nails, you tried to paint hers but she always got annoyed that you painted around her nails, so instead your dad let you paint his toenails. Not his fingernails because you didn’t want his friends at work to laugh at him, you were considerate that way.

Your birthdays used to be your favorite, even after the outbreak. It was never big, especially not after, but they tried and you loved it every time. After your fourteenth birthday though, your birthdays were a reminder of what you couldn't have, of what you lost. You’ve tried, there’s been some happy birthdays since you got to Jackson, but this year has been especially hard.

There’s moments where you just wish this was your last.

“…so I told her just to get out of my face,” Maria’s story intrigues you.

You smile softly up at her. “Just like I said?” You tease.

Maria looks up from your nail and nods. “Yeah. Just like you told me.”

You giggle and sit back, you try to just bask in the joy she feels, in the joy you see on your uncle Tommy’s face.

“Sunny, come take my shoes off,” your uncle Tommy says as he puts his boots up on the coffee table.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and scoff. “As if. Do it yourself, chump.”

Your uncle chuckles. “Maria, Sunny here was the nicest girl. The times I’d go visit after work she’d coming runnin’ to greet us. She’d take our shoes off and bring me my beer.”

Maria laughs, and you snort. “Austin can bring you your beer,” you talk about your dog. “Atlas and I trained him to do it.” You smirk proudly.

Your uncle shrugs. “Yeah, well it ain’t the same.”

You roll your eyes and sit back with your right hand still in Maria’s grasp. “Well, you’re gonna have to get a maid then. ‘Cause Maria ain’t doing it either.”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Because he takes my shoes off.”

You giggle and peer back. “Whipped.” You make the sound effect, and your uncle quickly grabs the pillow off the couch and hurls it at your head.

When it hits you though, it makes you move so Maria gets annoyed. “I just messed up. Thanks a lot.”

“Sorry,” you whisper even if you weren’t at fault.

You then proceed to drift your eyes to the tv to watch the movie that was playing, but neither of you were actually paying attention to due to the small conversations you’re holding.

Well they’re doing most of the talking, you're just listening. And unknowingly showing the emotions you’ve been trying to hide from the both of them.

“Are you okay?” Maria asks.

You blink and slowly meet her gaze. “Hm?” You probe with feigned confusion.

Maria briefly meets your gaze before grabbing your other hand to paint your other hand. “I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet, and you’ve been looking down.”

Shit. Shit.

Your uncle Tommy is waiting for an answer now too. You can feel his stare.

“I…”

It’s not like you can just burst out with everything you’ve been feeling recently—No, everything that’s been building up for the past couple of years. One, you don’t want to ruin today, and two, you hardly know what it is you’re feeling. It’s all so confusing, so unlike you. Angry? Sad? Lost?

“I’m okay,” you assure her and offer her a soft smile so she won’t poke further. “Just, you know, birthday blues over the fact I’m getting a year older. I wish I could look young forever.”

“Such a travesty,” your uncle teases.

“Blah,” you stick your tongue out.

“Hm,” Maria hums unsurely, but just leaves you be again. “Okay.”

You muster a wider smile to show it to her, to assure her even if you do wish for some sort of comfort, for someone to tell you that you’re actually fine. That nothings wrong with you. But you can’t worry them today, so you just watch the movie, and when Maria finishes painting your nails you move on to hers.

Once your nails are painted all nice and look all manicured, you finally pay attention to the movie along with your little family. Maria lays against your uncle, and you lay your head on Maria’s lap and let her caress the side of your head.

It’s a simple moment. Something that maybe you should grow out of, but you can’t help it, you like your little family; Maria, your uncle Tommy, and you. You’re content with them, you like being coddled by them even at 22. It lets you feel safe, something you failed to feel sometimes in your life due to your circumstances.

So…what is it that’s bugging you? That has you so…raveled?

Maybe going to your meadow and laying under the stars will help? Bring some ease to your aching heart?

Thus when the movie is over, after the clock strikes 12 am and brings a new day and ends your birthday, you return home. Rather than walking inside through the front door, you instead walk past the gate and head straight to your meadow in your backyard.

It’s been raining for the best couple of days, and you’ve also been busy so you haven’t had time to come and just find joy in your precious meadow you made for Sarah. Not until tonight.

Yet when you step past the porch fence, when you take a step in the meadow, there’s no flowers decorating the green pasture. Not even the winter wildflowers live, the meadow is dull…For the first time since you began to grow this meadow, it’s empty.

The stars…

You look up, but the sky is clouded, no stars gleam in the sky. The only source of light comes from the porch light. But the sky is dark and grey, dull like the once vivid meadow. And so the relief you came in search for, the joy you ached to find here is nothing but a dream, the very memory of your sister that rested on those very flowers is gone, like her.

There’s nothing here. There’s nothing here for you. Yes, you do find happiness in the little things, in your family that lives here, your friends, your plays you produce and star in, the other people that live here, this town in general, but what do you have to live for?

There’s nothing here. It’s dark, the only light is dim and it’s you, everything else is basked in darkness. You search for more source of light, something to bask the gap in your heart that was once full and complete because of your dad, but when he left, everyday, little by little that gap slowly lost its light. Now you’re alone, dimming away.

So maybe it’s time to go. You’ve been thinking about it, planning it now for a while—it will be a country wide trip. You’ve commented about it to other people and they want to go too.

Will you come back though?

It’s okay if you find your end somewhere out there.

——

*8 YEARS BACK. OUTSIDE BOSTON.*

“Oh!” You exclaim happily, and don’t fret to leave your source of light behind on debris to carefully fit through a gap left between slabs of cement debris.

“Hey! Y/N, what the hell are you doin?” Your uncle Tommy shouts after you.

“I found somethin’ inside, shine your light!” You yell back without bothering to further explain yourself, plus, it’s a closed off room with the only way in and out through the gap you just climbed through. There’s no infected so nothing to worry about.

Your dad will still be pissed though. If he finds out…

Which he will! Your uncle Tommy is a snitch!

“Did you check your surroundings at least,” your uncle has no choice but to just say now.

“Yep,” you groan.

After a few more seconds of hearing little rocks roll down the slabs of cement, after squeezing yourself through a small gap only you fit through, you finally make it out and land in the little break room that was once part of some kind of store.

“I made it,” you comment through the gap.

Finally your uncle does what you had asked and shines his flashlight through the gap, managing to blind you in that instant.

“Just hurry on up,” he counters back, annoyed. “We’re gonna be leavin’ soon.”

You hum in agreement and turn around to face the little corner that was left open.

There isn’t much to search through, but you still start at the top right cabinet.

Albeit there’s nothing. Next; open box of expired crackers, mugs, and more open bags of expired dry food. Great.

Next—haha! Jackpot! Instant coffee!

“Look!” You shout and spin around to show off your sweet find. “It’s coffee!”

“Oh? Really? Closed?” Your uncle asks.

You drop your gaze and double check that it’s still sealed. That there’s no mold or icky stuff.

“Yes! It’s safe!” You squeal, and then slide a backpack strap off your shoulder to stuff the coffee container in your pack. “My dad will love it! Maybe we still have time to boil some.” You throw out happily.

This time your uncle hesitates to answer, so you look up and question his silence. “You hear me?”

You can’t see his face because the light blocks his face, but he hesitates again before simply humming in agreement.

Weird, but you don’t question it. You just continue to search, and end up finding sealed granola bars, and some useful utensils other people glossed over. It’s too bad you can’t search the rest of the store since it’s all crumbled. There probably would’ve been some cool things.

At least you found coffee though.

Which is why you leave the little corner break room and climb back out. Once you’re near the exit your uncle Tommy helps you back up to stable ground.

“Found some granola,” you let him know and hand him one bar. “See, it was worth it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Come on. We’ve been gone longer than we should have already.”

Hopefully your dad won’t be upset, you woke up earlier than he did because your uncle invited you to patrol with him, which he hardly ever does, so your dad didn’t see you leave.

He tends to get mad over little things like this, but you don’t mind much, he just gets worried. Plus today you have coffee for him. It’s his favorite.

“Sunny,” your uncle interjects after staying quiet the entire way back to your camp. “Can I tell you something before we get to camp?”

You brush him off due to your excitement to get the coffee to your dad. “Tell me later, I want to give my dad what I found.” And since camp is right ahead, and your surroundings are clear, you make a run for it back to camp.

The few people that are traveling with you from the Boston Quarantine zone bid you a goodmorning, and you happily greet them back with a gleeful smile, whilst you also search for your dad amongst them.

However, he’s not amongst the crowd. Maybe he’s still resting. So you don’t lose a pep in your step and head to where you last saw him resting.

Nevertheless, when you get to where he had been sleeping, he’s not there, nor is his sleeping bag, or his stuff. Weird…

Maybe he’s just walking around.

Now you slow down and start your careful search.

“Y/N,” your uncle calls out from some paces behind you. “Let’s talk babygirl.”

Where is this man?

You reach the end of the perimeter of your camp and he’s still no where around. He wasn’t with the others, or waiting for you anywhere. So where did he go?

“Uncle Tommy,” you finally address the man as you turn to face him with growing concern. “Where’s my dad?”

Your uncle Tommy finally catches up to you, and quickly averts his gaze while he lets out a deep breath that begins to worry you.

“Uncle Tommy?” You probe and slowly feel your joy fade away and get completely overtaken by concern.

“Y/N,” he mumbles and grabs your shoulder. “Your dad…he’s not coming with us.”

What?

“What do you mean?” You giggle nervously. “He was with us this morning. He left Boston with us. Is this a prank?” You scoff. “Because it’s not funny.”

Your uncle doesn’t break into a laugh, he doesn’t smile, his frown deepens and his eyes express…sadness.

“Your dad is going to stay in Boston,” your uncle adds. “He just wanted to accompany us outside of Boston. But he’s not comin’ along anymore.”

He’s still joking. He��your dad couldn’t have just left you. His daughter. His youngest daughter. His daughter that still needs him. He didn’t leave.

“Stop,” you push your uncle away. “It’s not funny. Where is he?”

Your uncle sighs. “Sunny I’m being serious, your dad left. He’s not comin’...I’m sorry.”

But why?

Your eyes fill with tears and something tight wraps around your heart.

“Then we have to go back,” you begin to insist as you’re now in denial. “We have to go back to him. We can’t just leave him.” You turn to try and head back, but your uncle quickly manages to grab you and pulls you back.

“No, we’re not goin’ nowhere, he wants us to keep goin’. Together.”

You shake your head. “No. I can’t leave without him. Uncle Tommy, he’s my dad. We can’t,” you begin to stammer, feeling your throat begin to burn. “We have to go back. Please.” You keep trying to head back to Boston, but your uncle gets ahold of both of your shoulders and makes you face him.

“I’m sorry, but no. He left. He doesn’t want to come okay? But we’ll see him again. We’ll find a nice town, not one like this Quarantine Zone. You’ll make friends and you’ll learn to fight with the Fireflies in the meanwhile. Okay? And when—”

“Why?” You cut him off with tears streaming down your cheeks. “Why isn’t my daddy comin’?” You felt like a child again. A child exposed to danger, left in the dark. “Why did he leave me? Did I make him mad? Did I do somethin’?”

Your uncle quickly shakes his head. “No, no. Baby, no. He’s just…your dad just wants to stay. I’m sorry I can’t give a better excuse, a different reason, but he wants us to do better. He wants you to do better. Don’t you still want that?”

It’s been your dream, but…

“He doesn’t love me?” You whisper in a shaky voice.

Your uncle nods. “He loves you. I think he’s just strugglin’, it happens you know? I think everything that’s happened affected him differently, and he’s just grown scared to mess up with you. He’s afraid of losing you, I think that’s why he left. But he will never stop loving you. He just needs time, okay?”

You still don’t understand why he left you. But you also don’t really want to go back. Especially not now.

“Okay,” you mutter sadly.

Your uncle wipes away your tears and offers you an assuring smile. “It’s just you and me now, Sunny,” he says.

You feel assured by his words, by the fact that he stayed with you, but now without your dad it feels like something went off inside you.

——

*NOW. JACKSON.*

“I think I can pull it off. I’ve been reading some welding books. I mean I was in construction. How hard can welding a ring be?”

Your uncle Tommy has been going on about fixing Maria’s wedding band that didn’t fit her. You’ve been partially listening throughout your patrol, but your mind drifts to different thoughts about how you’re going to tell him you want to leave. How you’re going to explain it so he won’t get super upset.

“Is it hard?”

You blink and look over at him. His eyes were already on you though, so he catches the fact that you weren’t paying attention. “You okay?” He asks again. This is his second time today. Just like Maria, he suspects something’s wrong.

But you aren’t ready yet. “Yeah,” you lie, and drop your head to brush your fingers through your horse's hair. “I’m fine.”

Your uncle's gaze lingers on you, you feel him study you for a moment. Will he believe you?

“You know,” he interjects. “I’ve been in your life since you were a baby…”

Fuck, you should’ve known better.

“…I raised you for 8 years,” he continues. “It was just the two of us for a lot of those years, so you think I don’t know you, but I do. I know what every little expression means, I know when you’re sad, when you’re angry, especially when you’re excited and happy. I don’t want to drag it out of you, but you’re starting to worry me, Sunny. So tell me, please.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Your eyes are watering, you didn’t want to cry, but every word he said just now triggered those tears you hold back to fill your eyes.

“Well…” you start off slowly and keep your eyes averted. “I…” fuck. “I’ve decided that I’m going to leave.” You slowly drift your eyes to him and notice that he looks confused.

“Leave what?” He asks. “Your house? I thought you liked livin’ there?”

You nod slowly. “Yeah, I do. But it’s not that. I...” You pause and blink repeatedly as your courage falters. “I’m goin’ to leave Jackson.”

At the sound of your words your uncle brings his horse to a stop, so you follow suit to stay close. He then looks at you for a moment in disbelief before he chuckles dryly, and looks away at the woods that surround you. You don’t add anything, you let him wallow in what you just said and wait.

When he finally finds his emotions, his words, he faces you and shakes his head. “No,” he blurts. “You’re not leavin’ anywhere.”

“Uncle Tommy you can’t make me stay,” you argue. “I’m twenty-two. I’m an adult now, not a little girl or a teenager. I’m grown—”

“You’re not actin’ like it,” he cuts you off frustrated. “I mean it’s stupid. It’s crazy. You have a life here, you’re safe, here. There’s nothing out there but death.”

You shrug and keep holding in your tears. “Yeah, I know that…but I want to take the risk. I need to find who I am. I…don’t know who I am anymore,” you say in a shaky voice. “I’m lost. There’s an emptiness that keeps growing, that keeps pushing away the light that's over me. And I’m afraid if I stay here the darkness is going to swallow me.”

Your uncle scoffs and looks away as he shakes his head. “So what? You think you’re goin’ to find this light by what? Getting eaten by infected?” He spats. “Are you listening to yourself? We don’t live in the other life anymore, y/n, you can’t just grab a backpack and travel the world! The world is dangerous—”

“I know that!” You cut him with frustration that he’s not understanding. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You sit back and exhale deeply, feeling the tears that you tried to hold back finally roll down your cheeks. “But I’m tired, I…I’m tired. I want to travel the country, prove to myself that I can make it by myself. I need to find myself, and that’s not here.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry, but you won’t change my mind. Nor will Maria.”

Your uncle holds your gaze with a hardened pointed glare, and nods along slowly in comprehension. He stays quiet and adds tension to the silence. He drops his head and draws in a deep breath before looking up at you and exhaling.

“Fine,” he deadpans. “Leave,” he spats angirly, and surprises you. “I won’t stop you. You want to die out there, be my guest…”

“Uncle Tommy,” you whimper.

��No, don’t. Your dad left and that hurt. I stayed strong for you, but I was hurt. He was my brother and he left. He chose to break us apart in this desolate world,” he says with cracks in his own voice caused by overwhelming anger. “You made my life good, lookin’ out for you kept me from losin’ myself. But I still live with this gap in my heart because I don’t know if it was Joel’s last day and I didn’t know. So if you go too I won’t let that consume me. I can’t.” He shakes his head. “You want to go? Go. I won’t chase you and I won’t worry.”

And just like that his words cut deep in your already bleeding heart. This isn’t what you wanted, you didn’t expect him to give you his back, not him. He’s the only family you have left since your dad left you. He’s everything to you and so much more, you don’t want him to forsake you.

“Uncle Tommy,” you plead.

“No,” he interjects quickly. “No. Just,” he sputters and nudges his horse's reins. “Don’t. I'm done.” And just like that he rides ahead without waiting for you. He leaves you behind with tears streaming down the curve of your cheeks. He leaves you aching.

But he doesn’t change your mind from what you plan to do. Nothings going to change your mind anymore. You just wanted his blessing, or a comfort. But you got neither.

How will Maria react? He’s probably going to tell her as soon as he gets back home, will she forsake you too?

If she does you’ll truly have nothing. Perhaps then that dimming light will snuff out completely, leaving you with nothing but a vast emptiness.

——

*LATER*

After your uncle Tommy ran out on you, you took the long way back home just to get your thoughts straight. To think of what you need to tell Maria.

She’ll be worse than your uncle perhaps.

Nevertheless, you do hope to run into your uncle to talk, to not leave things tense, but the further you walk inside your gated community, the more hope you lose about seeing him. Other people greet you when they see you, some of his friends wave at you, but you don’t see him amongst them.

You hoped to see Maria too, but she’s also not around—Then again that’s a good thing, you still need time before you talk to her.

One person you do run into though is Apollo, your best friend and housemate. He spots you first and runs at you. When he’s beside you he throws his arm around your neck and pulls you towards him.

“What’s up sunshine!”

You roll your eyes to him and shoot him a teasing look. “Sunshine? If your girlfriend hears she’ll probably beat you.”

Apollo scoffs and shrugs. “Now, now, stop all that yapping, okay? It’s not fair just because you don’t like her.”

You scoff in disgust. “Yeah. I don’t. I can read people you know. She gives me a bad feeling.”

Apollo rolls his eyes and lets you go. You quickly glance at him and see his discontent.

“I'm sorry,” you quickly correct yourself. “I'll try to stop. I'm just…looking out for you,” you explain as you nudge him. “Which is not an excuse, but…” you sigh. “We’ve known each other basically a life time now. It’s my job.”

Apollo meets your gaze and sighs but nods slowly. “I know. What has it been now? Fuck,” he laughs softly. “Seven years?”

You nod. “A lifetime.” You look away from him to look your path ahead.

“Which is why…I know somethings up with you,” Apollo mentions and gently nudges you. “What’s wrong?”

You exhale deeply and drop your gaze. “I told my uncle Tommy about my plans. He…got mad at me, he…turned his back on me,” you reveal in a shaking voice. “I mean i knew—I expected him to get upset, but this? He’s all I got.” You stop walking and sniffle.

Apollo knew about your plans, he knew about them when they were just running thoughts. He of course doesn’t approve of it, but he’s been more lenient.

“You have to just give him a moment to think,” Apollo says as he stops in front of you. “You’re all he has too you know?”

“He has Maria,” you add right away. “His wife.”

“In that case you have Maria too,” Apollo argues.

You slowly look up at him with a watery gaze and shake your head softly. “But does that matter? I view her as a maternal figure, but I’ll never be her child. I’ll never be their child. They’ll have a kid sooner or later and I’ll be forgotten while they stay a family. Which is the reason I shouldn’t be uspet about my uncle really, it’ll hurt less when he eventually leaves me behind like…” you trail off and drop your head to wipe away your tears.

“You’re crazy,” Apollo interjects. “You’re crazy to think that your uncle Tommy and Maria would do that.”

You shake your head in disapproval because your dad left you. The one person you thought would stay in your life forever left you without a second thought. Like if you were a piece of trash.

“You mean the world to them, the both of them,”

He continues. “It’s why your uncle fought against your plans, why he got upset.

Because he can’t fathom the thought of losing you, his niece, a girl he raised through this hell, his daughter.”

You meet Apollo's gaze and let out a soft cry.

“He’s not forsaking you,” Apollo continues softer. “He’s fighting for you. In his own way. You mean something to him. To her. To me. To Mia, Atlas, to everyone that sees the plays you put on with all your love for something you’re keeping alive…isn’t that enough to let you stay?”

You hold his gaze and shake your head.

Apollo nods slowly in comprehension. “Then just give him time, okay?” Apollo asks of you. “He cares.” He offers you a tiny smile, and you wipe your tears off your face and just nod. You can’t actually say anything, you’re too emotional.

“Come here,” Apollo adds and carefully wraps his arms around you.

You let out a small, relieved laugh and hug him back. “Thank you,” you whisper.

Apollo rubs your back and responds softly. “I’m here for you.”

You stay in each other's embrace for a moment longer, basking in each other's warmth and presence. When you do pull away he keeps his arm around you, and you continue your way home.

“Now come on,” he says sweetly. “We can eat lunch and watch something while you come up with what you’re gonna tell Maria. Because…I’m scared for you.”

You chuckle. “I’m scared too. She might tie me up.”

Apollo gasps. “I got your next play!” He exclaims. “Rapunzel! And hey you can actually be locked away in some tower! Talk about bringing your character to life!”

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you can’t help but laugh.

He had a way to do that, he finds ways to make you happy when you’re upset. And it worked for a while, he made lunch and you watched a movie, eventually your friend and other housemate Mia came home too, so she joined in and you felt happy. But when the moment was done, when you were alone in your room, the happiness left.

Thoughts overwhelm your mind, different variations of thoughts. Music though…it helps and keeps things quiet.

Albeit there is one person who surfaces to mind. He exists only in your memory, just like Sarah. It’s been 8 fucking years since you’ve seen him. Since he left. And even after all of it, all the ugly side that came out of him, you still want to see him again. Maybe one more time to hug him, have him hold you and remind you of the much simpler things, of home.

You can’t return home, but one warm embrace, his scent will make it feel like you’re home again—

Nevertheless, as you’re lost in thought, suddenly the music from your headphones stops playing. “Hey,” you complain and sit up. That’s when you see Maria with the cord in her hand.

Fuck.

You pull the headphones down to your neck and scoot to the edge of your bed with your gaze averted since she looks upset. “Hey,” you greet softly.

“You missed dinner,” she breaks her silence and throws the cord on the bed.

There’s no time for small talk, you can’t sit here and just pretend she doesn’t know. “Uncle Tommy told you,” you state.

Maria exhales deeply and sits besides you on the bed before she nods. “He told me this crazy ass story that you want to leave.”

You blink repeatedly and sniffle. “He’s mad,” you state again.

“Yeah,” she scoffs. “He’s pissed…” she trails off and lets out a deep sigh before she shifts around to face you. “I wouldn't be a good guardian, protector…mother, if I didn’t try to convince you to stay.”

You slowly drag your eyes up and meet her dark brown eyes with sadness.

“It’s a stupid idea,” she continues with anger in her own voice, in her own expression. “You have a life here. A life you’re building. Things are never going to be easy, life isn’t that simple. But that’s life. Even now.”

You shake your head. “I don’t expect life to be easy,” you argue. “I don’t want to leave because life is hard. I…” you pause and drop your head. “You can’t convince me to stay Maria. I’m not a little girl anymore to be protected, I have to experience on my own if my choices are bad, he can’t decide that anymore.” You shake your head. “I want…” you come to another pause and shake your head.

“I don’t know when I’m going to die,” you continue, “it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, but it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls. I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.” You lift your head and meet her gaze with tears running down your cheeks.

“You didn’t let me finish,” she says softly. “I won’t fight you to stay, but you tell me, give me a great reason why I should let you leave. Why you want to leave and I’ll see you off. I’ll accept your existential crisis, I’ll worry but wish you the best.”

You look at her with confusion and probe. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m furious,” she states seriously. “But I want to listen to you. I know somethings wrong, just talk to me.”

It wasn’t your birthday anymore to avoid ruining your day for them, but you also don’t want to burden her with your trauma.

Maria notices your reluctance though and presses you. “Come on please.”

You shrug and wipe away your tears, but still can’t utter a word.

“It better not be because of him,” Maria interjects without naming your father.

You sigh and finally answer her. “I tried, you know. I was scared of everything, but I tried to fight away the fear so he could stop gettin’ mad at me. Because that’s all he was, mad all the time.”

“You were just a kid,” Maria argues.

You nod softly. “Yes, but I had to grow up to survive. So he could look at me with a proud smile and tell me I’m doin’ good,” you continue shakily. “But…no matter what I did it angered him because I could never be her. He loved her deeply, after she died a part of him died too. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he left…” you pause and fight your tears back. “…I was never enough for him. And after he left I was angry, I pretended he was dead…it was easier that way. But I’m still here, and it’s back, that feeling like I’m not worth something, like I’m a failure.”

Tears roll down your cheeks after the fight you tried to maintain didn’t last whatsoever. Maria notices right away and takes your hand in hers.

“That’s not true,” she argues against your comment.

You avert your gaze and sniffle. “But it is, I was never enough for him to stay with me. I’m not enough…I’m a failure.”

“You’re only 22 years old,” she adds. “You’re still young. You still have a lot to accomplish, so much life to live.”

You slowly meet her gaze and counter. “That doesn’t matter or take away from what I feel. That’s why I need to leave. So I can find me, by myself, and not get coddled. I can’t numb away my pain anymore or else I’ll get swallowed by the void that’s already surrounding me.”

Maria holds your gaze and nods along slowly in comprehension. Neither of you say anything for a while, you let her think. And after a while she finally responds by pulling you in an embrace.

“I hate that you feel that way,” she says as you hug her back carefully, almost out of fear she’s going to take it back and just scold you. “I can contradict you in so many ways, but your mind is set. You’re an adult…we can’t force you to stay. Just promise you’ll fight to stay alive. That you’ll come back.”

You nod. “Yes,” you assure her with a wobbly smile. “I swear I’ll fight.” You then pull back and face her. “What about my uncle Tommy?” You slide your hands to your lap and clench them to fists to dig your nails in your palm. “I don’t want to leave with him mad at me.”

Maria scoffs. “Just talk to him. I have. He’s home.”

Your uncle and you don’t argue much, not even when you were younger and your emotions were all over the place, so when you do it was like a tragedy to you, after your anger passed of course. You hate having the sun set on your anger, if you could you resolve your issues that same day. Of course sometimes it takes time, but this time, even if you aren’t leaving at this very moment, you can’t have his back turned on you.

You just hope he feels the same, hopefully he doesn’t want to have days to himself. The longest you’ve gone without talking to your uncle is probably like, two days. You won’t survive a whole week, or weeks!

However, when you do get to their house, since Maria left to let you have time alone, the atmosphere between your uncle and you is full of tension. It’s deafening. He keeps himself busy for a moment, but when he joins you in the living room the silence is awkward.

What can you tell him? You didn’t do anything wrong, and you said everything you needed to say…

Wait!

“I hope you know,” you break the silence softly. “Nothing will change my mind, but I still hope that you can accept and respect my choice. I need you to or else I won’t be at peace.” You look over at him and notice he keeps looking ahead.

Your uncle then proceeds to let out a deep breath, he drops his head and looks at his cup of alcohol solemnly.

“I promised Maria that I’d fight to come back,” you add. “To tell you the truth I was fine not coming back, but…you mean everything to me, I can’t do that to you. Or Maria. So I will fight, I will come back. I promise.”

Your uncle blinks repeatedly and slowly lifts his head and faces you. “You swear it?” He says.

You nod. “I swear,” you assure him.

Your uncle sighs but he then nods softly. You let out a relieved sigh and can’t help it, you throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“I love you, you know?” You tell him.

He nods and hugs you back. “I know,” he says. “I love you too. That’s why I got angry. But you didn’t deserve how it came out. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I understand.” You hug him tighter and just relish in the comfort he brings you. You stay in each others embrace for a moment, and this time when you’re apart the silence isn’t full of fucking tension, it’s comfortable.

But after a while he breaks it slowly and in a shaky voice. “The dark days are gone…And the bright days are here,” he continues in a soft sing-song voice. “My Sunny one shines so sincere…”

Oh. Oh! It’s a song, Sunny, by Boney M. He loves to play this song when you’re around, he also loved to play it when he would come to your house before. It’s your song.

“Sunny,” you join in very softly, and with tears rolling down your cheeks and a smile on your face.

“One so true, I love you…” you both trail off and begin to laugh. You then look at one another and chuckle harder.

“I hope you find everything you’re looking for,” he says.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I hope so too.” You then let your head fall on his shoulder, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulders and press a kiss on the top of your head.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

[ruexvn]

hey pookie i love your writing so much omg, like i love the way you write all the characters. could i request your personal eyeless jack headcannons if you haven’t done them already? like how do you see his personality and everything :O

! EJ Headcannons !

Gotcha! And muah 💋 I was on the fannon side for majority of my creepypasta phase before I left and came back liking the cannon versions more! Though I’m still learning about the fellow creeps once again, Soo here’s my thoughts on this grumpy beast

————————————————————————Very quiet and rarely speaks unless someone strikes a convo with him

He’s a very closed person and doesn’t want to get close to anyone again, much rather dwell on his own(traumatized)

Hates looking at himself because he wants to rip off his skin, can’t stand to always look at what he is now

Corny asf when trying to tell a joke, that or tells very dry jokes (loser)

His own barber because he hates when his hair gets too long

A huge bookworm still; always reading books of human anatomy, psychology books, etc

Sometimes captures his next victim and performs surgeries and stuff on them, basically just experimenting then eats them

I definitely see him having DID(dissociative identity disorder) because of the demon

When his personality is switched he’s like a rabid beast. His lingering humanity is erased in that moment and purely acts on instinct

He always manages to switch back before he’s completely consumed

The only ‘friend’ he lets around him is Jeff because he could care less is Jeff died, he’s a piece of shit after all

Jack definitely still tries to this day to find a way to go back to normal, even if it means he dies trying because he just wants to be free

Jealous ash when he sees people doing well to reach the profession he was studying for before everything went down

His human feelings are numb so when he thinks about his mom it’s just replaying memories without emotion

“Hm, I remember when mom did that for me.”

I definitely see this man to be a bit buff: he’s not carry bodies with a skinny body. The transformation did a big number on that

Not exactly bodybuilding like but you’ll definitely want to squeeze his bicep a bit(take a little bite)

Hes a bit over 6 ft. the most ill say is 6'5

Does not fall to slendermans influence but they both have a pact. Slenderman keeps him concealed from the world like the others and in return he heals whomever needs it

Good practice anyway but slenderman gives him the creeps

Let’s be fr he doesn’t have that stinky mask on all the time, it’s suffocating enough to even wear it because he needs his face to breathe

Only wears it when he ‘hunts’ and takes it off when he’s alone. Doesn’t let the other creeps see his face besides Jeff because he deadass snatched it off him

Did not go well for Jeff after, a miracle he’s still alive(Jack patched him up)

Has a nice cabin that he built deep into the woods with a clearing a bit beyond a forest, a small pond residing somewhere along (bee keeping age??)

Bro is literally a miracle. Knows how to rid of cold, flu, anything (where tf was u during Covid)

All in all he’s tied to nature because it’s quiet and that’s what he longs because that demon that screams in his head to feed it makes him want to maybe let him be consumed

Definitely depressed but lives with it, not suicidal at all surprisingly because he’s been alive for so long so very accustomed(hes tried and he really can’t die)

Hates being touched, there will be a hand through ur chest if u attempt, ask for permission before u become minced meat

A softy sometimes if you manage to be his friend, doesn’t show he kinda cares for u. Only shows it when u need to be patched up and he does it with the most gentle hands ever(does the opposite to Jeff)

I like to think him and Jeff have a rivalry but really it’s just Jeff pestering him and Jack sucks it up because maybe a different loud voice is comforting

This man deserves better

[shinjiikar1]

So as I've been watching My Stand-In I've been writing down my thoughts on each episode, because boy do I have a lot of thoughts about this show. It's just really good to chew on! I'm a little behind and I'm trying to catch up before the finale, so I thought I'd post them throughout the week as the show comes to an end;; Starting with Episodes 1-4 under the cut ^^

Ep. 1

Joe… my guy… everything sucks so bad for you already huh ☹

Wut being at the hospital and talking about old joe… joe being like “guess I have to be a stand-in for another guy again” like so resigned, it hurts :(

It’s interesting to see like, Ming already having some sort of feelings for Joe when he probably doesn’t even realize it

The way he looks at him when Joe cooks for him and does nice stuff for him, he seems to just not “get it” and I think he’s confusing his feelings of like general attraction (esp due to his similarity to Tong) and his warm feelings of being cared for, for just that similarity

The fact that Joe just likes him immediately and wants to do things for him is I think not super helpful for his brain, like, in some ways it is, bc he’s being shown care in a way I suspect doesn’t happen often, but also Joe is really just letting himself get steamrolled

I do appreciate his mild level of self-awareness with the “you shouldn’t sleep with someone like me as your first time” thing

Ep. 2

Getting that jealous when you’ve slept with him once and he’s gay is Wild, like you have So many issues richboy

I appreciate that Joe is trying to communicate rationally, unfortunately your bf is a freak, sorry

The shit with Tong is Wild, you need to get over him girl he sucks So bad I hate this bitch

It’s crazy how you’re that jealous about a man you’re ostensibly not dating and “don’t care about”

Making him sleep on the floor in his own damn house and then yelling at him… girl……

Joe please run

Ming has so many issuesss, he can’t fuckin communicate at allllll

It’s nice to humanize him a little in these moments with his sister, he seems to love her a lot, which is nice to see bc based on the first ep you wouldn’t really see that was the case

He’s such a generally unhappy person already

The one person in his corner is the one person he Can’t tell damn… that’s kind of crazy

Oh man Joe is Gone already, I appreciate that he turned Sol down nicely, that does make the fact that Sol is kinda weird later a littler Hm. But not like So bad? We shall see

I wish we had more time to see Why Joe likes Ming so much (prior to him saying he’s in love) but also I get these things happen fast and we have a lot to do

It just seems like his feelings are So strong, otherwise he could let go on round two but… alas

Ming did seem like he was maybe going to apologize, Ming style at least, when he showed up

Cooking dinner is Really cute… making breakfast for my beautiful wife… the kitchen is burning down

The dinner scene is Really sweet, I think it’s a good way to show that they both do like eo

It’s crazy that Ming does still think this is about Tong on some level though, like, girl tf has he done for you

But the way they were laughing;;;;

Ep. 3

Shopping montage, Ming is So bad at not just defaulting to his first reaction to everything ever, which is being a huge bitch about literally everything on earth

Like clearly he doesn’t actually hate all this stuff, but Joe hasn’t learned to read him well enough yet to understand that (which isn’t on Joe, just that like, maybe he could’ve figured that out eventually if it weren’t for the other shit), so Joe just takes his initial reactions at face value (understandably so, he’s a very open person himself and also takes people in general at their word and assumes they are also honest in their reactions)

However, Ming does manage to resolve the apartment thing Fairly okay all things considered, even if it wasn’t entirely bc he’s actually fine living with Joe there (I think he kind of is but won’t fully admit that to himself), negligible points for Ming!

I’ll say this later but I think the show gives you like, some good moments where Ming doesn’t actually suck, which allow you to understand why this is so hard for Joe and also to keep him from becoming like, the devil dfhjgjdf

We’ll see how that progresses in the present, but at least in the past I think they do a solid job with that

I need everyone to stop trying to intrude in Joe’s private life, like leave his ass aloneeeeeee

That dinner did Not go good man rip

Okay Sol is pissing me off a little, idk why so many people keep defending him. Like obviously he’s better than Ming in some ways, but I don’t… love the way he treats Joe, and the fact that he keeps pushing him after Joe Very nicely turned him down… not a huge fan

Can Joe just have like, normal people in his life for once?

I think if they dated it wouldn’t have been like horrible, but I can also see it going poorly. Like imo Sol gives off the vibes of like, getting bored after he gets what he wants but I think I’m overreacting. It mainly just bothers me that he’s so pushy and doesn’t really respect Joe’s boundaries or autonomy. Like, if he tells you it’s his problem and you should let it go then let it go!

Also all the job stuff sucks so badddd Tong is the worstttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

I feel like Ming would have told him more Eventually, but Joe is really worried about pushing him, their relationship probably feels precarious to him a lot of the time, and he doesn’t want to ruin it by upsetting Ming

I think he also wants Ming to tell him stuff himself, based on what we see, it seems like he has some idea that Ming’s family situation is difficult, so I think he wants to give him time to trust him as well

ALAS

If Ming could communicate, we would not be here, but we are :/

Anyways Ming small win about the Christmas stuff, like he is trying a little, he’s not Totally understanding how to be in a relationship, but he has decent moments, the restaurant is way too fancy, but he does actually deal with the watch situation well, good job!

Unfortunately. Tong.

The moment he has with his sister is really sweet. I’m glad there’s someone to tell him that this seems to be good for him. Alas. Tragedy is about to strike.

The mugs is so fucked too…

☹ Joe ☹

Ep. 4

God. It literally couldn’t have gone worse.

Like, I’ll be real, I think if Ming had reacted better, he could have eventually won Joe back

If he’d /listened/, and backed off, and tried to show Joe that he cared about him as a person, not just as a stand-in, I think Joe is forgiving enough, and loved him enough, to make that happen

Unfortunately, it really seems like he’s still kind of unaware of his own feelings on a lot of levels

Like, I think he does think he likes Joe on some level, but he’s unable to untangle that from his feelings for Tong

It’s hard to know how much of his love for Joe is because he’s Joe

ALSO I know I’m not supposed to know this yet, but it’s hard to know how much he actually likes Joe for Joe at all. Like given the whole way he fell in love with him on a very superficial level… Obviously later on I think he does like Joe for who he is, but even though it was never really Tong, that image he had of Joe’s back wasn’t really Joe either y’know?

Anyways, that’s kind of beside the point but I’ve been thinking about it

I know I’ve been pretty charitable to Ming so far but that does end here LMAO

He handles this in literally the worst way possible, like confronting him /at work/?!?!? You’re deranged girl

He’s just so possessive and not used to not having whatever he wants all the time, his rich boy Momence

Like, Joe is /rightfully/ upset, and you’re like “well that’s my personal business” HELLO??? 911???

Ridiculoussssssssss

I hate Tong so bad guys you have no idea, I know it’s far away but I’m sooooooo excited for his downfall

Ming grovelling a little but it’s too lateeeee, or too early, like I said, if you gave it some time maybe

Crazy to be like “oh you’re cheating on me and all you care about is your job” when Joe has literally never lied or hid anything from you… like be SOooooo fr right now

Anyways literally knocking him out AND CHAINING HIM IN A BASEMENT is definitely like, idk how to even phrase this aside from girl what the actual fuck you thought that would get you anywhere????  THIS IS NOT KINNPORSCHE YOU ARE NOT IN THE MAFIA, YOU ARE A NEPO BABY WITH NO JOB AND THAT IS YOUR NORMAL-ASS BOYFRIEND

Joe like sadly seducing him to break out is really depressing, very hard to watch, I’m sorry everything sucks so bad for you I love u

Lets talk about Joe for a second too, I think you can make a case for the fact that he handles the situation a little poorly, but who among us would do better?

Based on his perspective, it’s really hard to tell what of Ming’s affection for him is real, and along with his own extant insecurities, there’s no way he could handle this calmly

Also why should he have to? Regardless of how he feels /now/, Ming did start this entire thing because he was comparing Joe to Tong. End of. Even if they had actually slept together that first night, he was with Joe partially because he was mad at Tong. He hadn’t necessarily made the connection about how similar they looked yet, but he still wasn’t doing it just because he liked Joe.

So like, the only thing I think Joe could have handled better was the acting situation, but he’s having such a miserable time, and trying to regain any sense of dignity and self-respect and this is the only way he can think to do it. If it helps him get back at Ming a little too, I get it y’know?

I don’t really blame him

And as for taking the job, again, what was he supposed to do? He has no support, and he’s obviously not willing to go back to Ming. Those are his only two options since Wut won’t help.

Sidebar I know Wut can’t do much, but to not give him any advice other than “if you do the only thing you can think of to do in this situation I’ll abandon you” ………….. wtf dude. I feel like he’s trying to scare him off it, but you can see how bad of a state he’s in right now… ANYWAYS, not thrilled with Wut

Anyways this show is such a tragedy, you can see all the points where each character could have gone a slightly different way and maybe it would’ve been better, but they didn’t, and now they’re here ☹

Joe’s death is also like, so horrifying btw, literally one of my worst nightmares

Anyways back to the present we goooo

[burnedwriter]

"Valentine"

warnings:none,the reader is gender neutral

A/n:this is my first time writing sth about wesker and if it goes well im thinking of writing for more re character in the future.hope you enjoy!

it has been months since the one and only has ''recruted'' you to work for him on his project,not that you had a choice to resist anyways.....with your intellengence you made to the role to become a lead scientist,earning wesker's trust as you were assign to make sure everything went as planned and also reporting any obsticles that might occure,getting some subtle compliments from him from time to time but you didnt get too cocky because in his eyes everyone is disposable even you or so it seemed.

These couple of weeks have been a little different from the rest,your boss has been acting very strange,calling you to his office atleast 5 times or even more,finding poor excuses to call you in.The other weird thing that has been happening is him coming to check on you while you were working,it was him basicly sitting in a chair at the corner of the room while he observed your actions carefully,and him opening a conversation to make the silence less akward between you,at the start asking you about hows the project is going even though you had already told him before hand,and then he progressivly started to ask you about your private life,if you were single or had a family which you quickly replied that you were single,earning an approving ''hm'' from him and making your heart skip a beat.

Today was one of those days,upon entering his dark lit office,he looked really sceptical?you couldnt quite put your finger on it,it was hard to read his expressions as he always had a strong pocker face and constantly wore sunglasses even in indoors.maybe all this pressure he put on himself finally caught up to him,hes not getting any younger afterall.

''Mr.wesker are you feeling ok?because it doesnt seem that way''you said with a concerned look on your face.

clearing his throat before he spoke,''thanks for your concern doctor,i am fine''he said with his usual arrogant tone but this time laying back at his chair and swiftly moving his gaze elsewhere.It was really out of character for him,he would always look at you,sometimes you even felt his piercing gaze behind those glasses.

''now tell me doctor,how is the plan going''leaning forward,placing his elbows on the desk while the tips of his fingers touched together creating a sophisticating pose as he listened to you carefully reporting like normal.

finishing your last sentence with''this is all we have done so far for today''waiting for wesker's feedback.

''You are dissmissed doctor,you can now leave and continue your work''he waved his hand for you to leave his office.

Getting up your back now facing wesker,your hand on the doorknob ready to open the door for you to leave,when all a sudden you were stopped dead on your tracks by his voice.

''one last thing i forgot to ask you doctor...''his voice soundig kinda hesitant almost like he regreted speaking up,you turned looking at the direction of the sound.

''....would you like to go on date with me''he said with a small smug expression on his face,making you form a little blush at his words as you quickly left his office,filling your mind with more questions about his feelings towards you,was that his plan from the start?did he thought of you as an equal to him?for now only time will tell those answers.

[mrfelixfischoeder]

I wish you’d write a fic where the Old people foursome has a double date and doesn’t have to worry about saving the fucking world for once 🥲

(Or Zorya is in a mustached sandwich between Murderface and Eddy)

This turned into waffle, but I kind of like slice of life waffle!!

Wine night was nice when it was just the two of them. Roisin and Magnus had created a regime that worked for them. That kept them safe, and away from the nightmarish world. Her warmth had opened his eyes to his wrongs, and the wrongs he could have done. Now? His haven is her lap, his home is his face within her hands. His lifeblood is the feeling of her lips on his.

Then their two turned back into a three, and it was welcomed. Though there might have been teething issues between Magnus and Charles – created by each other against each other, fabricated in fear of things not being the same – but they were quick to come to their senses. It was like being in college all over again, except they’ve all learned lessons now. They’re not worrying about reports or dissertations. Not even about lights out and sneaking in weed to their rooms.

And now there’s four.

It’s a good number – means no one is left out. Means their lives are forever changing, and that’s a good thing. A reminder that their lives move on, and on, and on. Sometimes it’s scary. Sometimes it’s a comfort.

“I can’t believe you’d say that – Nick Pizzazz is the best wrestler of his generation!” you’d never have thought Cal is the newest member, refilling Roisin’s wine glass to the brim as she argues (light-heartedly, they assume) with Magnus. He sneers, but the corners of his lips are lifted just enough to make it less threatening.

“He’s all about show – there’s no skill!”

“I was his protégé!” Cal sounds aghast, lifting her own glass, and she huffs as Magnus actually lets out a bit of a laugh.

“I know.”

Roisin laughs because Magnus laughs, and she finds the sound inviting. Charles chuckles, because he does find it funny, and he can see that Cal finds it funny too: the way her eyes aren’t going that certain way, or the way she isn’t tensing up or gripping her glass. Magnus watches her, not knowing these little facets of her yet, smirking, and Cal smirks back behind her glass, taking a long drink. “You’re lucky I’ve already had a glass, sug’, or I’d show you the kinda things he taught me.”

“Some other time, hm?” Magnus gets up, walking over to the aga, stirring the veg in the pan, “When was the last time you made dinner for yourself, huh, Charlie? Can’t believe the rich boy shit you get up to now.”

“He’s busy doing other things.” Roisin teases and defends in one breath – Calypso always admires that about her. She only ever finds that flawless two-faced kindness in Texas, and yet from Roisin it is delightful – it doesn’t make Calypso put her guard up.

“I cook,” Charles’ quiet rebuttal goes over their heads, except Cal steps towards him nonchalantly and puts her hand across his shoulder. He leans his head back, the nape of his neck against her arm. “Since when can you cook anything edible?”

“Hmph,” Magnus refuses to answer, adding more spices to the mix. Roisin sips her wine. Something is on the tip of Magnus’ tongue, she can tell, but he holds back, and lets it fall away. But Charles can’t help it – he’s watching precious mushroom fall from the wok.

“You’re too rough.” He gets up, gently moving past Cal – his hand grazing her thighs in the last moment of touch before walking over. Magnus rolls his head back, eyes going with, but does step aside without a battle, giving him a mocking bow and drinking more of his beer. Cal stays standing, not sure what to do until she feels a hand guide her down to Charles’ seat. Roisin wraps her arm around Cal’s, not even bringing attention to it as Charles and Magnus ‘discuss’ the best way to present the whole thing. Cal’s fingers circle the rim of her glass, smiling as she watches Charles in his true element. No demands, no stress, tie even gone and shirt unbuttoned (just the one though, don’t want to go crazy). And she fits. The one thing Cal had been panicked about the most – for surely if she never fit with Roisin and Magnus, then she’d be out the door. It had never been about impressing Charles himself (she knows she does), but the people he considers his confidants in dark days.

Roisin squeezes her arm, and Cal is brought back out of her wondering. Because her thoughts and her worries don’t matter, not now. It’s all she needs.

[zukkacore]

you reblogged that director's cut ask meme and i KNEW exactly already the scene. towards the end where it starts with:

"Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.” to "How ridiculous."

OR anything about the pomegranate tree which. i put my phone down to stare at the ceiling when the pomegranate tree was mentioned.

HIiiii!!!!! Thank you so much for sending me this honestly you picked a good one.

Ok. this scene is crazy bc i think it was the flashback scene that felt the most necessary to include. Not the one i fought the hardest for (jace good/bad teacher you have my heart ended up making sense but for a long time i was like cut that shit. You know you just want to be indulgent. Until i realized the ratgrinders haunt the narrative). Nor the one that feels the most. Obvious I guess? Or the most evocative? (The one where they're at Porter's house feels like so vivid and real to me not like necessarily bc of my writing its just like real in my mind like if Jace is reading Porter's memories there's definitely something in there that is just Precious and Heartbreaking and Deeply Ironic and almost simplistically affectionate in its portrayal of the Old Jace.

Anyway. This scene in the backyard felt. Necessary I guess? But i also worried i was trying too hard to make it work. It actually wasn't even really originally about Frosty Fair. Like. Jace still was walking out bc of a fight abt the ratgrinders but it was more abstract? I think the fact that its like ruben was getting attacked by grix is a throughline though for jace taking damage for TRGs in the forest. The ratgrinders were not originally going to be this like chekovs gun and like i honestly felt kinda bad that i was like. hm. awfully convenient for Jace to forget abt them so quickly in favor of getting. some dick but also like that's the whole POINT. I was like. Well i can at least highlight how absurd that is by making him ashamed but not really altruistic enough to do anything about it. But its like. Kinda the throughline now.

Originally I was like. Honestly rly embarrassed bc i felt like Jace taking damage in the forest was such a contrived way to get him and Porter to hook up like oooooh patching up injuries how original. But I feel like. There's a whole subplot kinda ABOUT jace taking the damage now. Now the whole story is about how he cares.

And post-Jace HATES that that's the reason Porter brought him on b/c he's so alienated from that version of himself, and he's disgusted with himself for feeling like he's never doing enough or caring enough. For being neglectful and running away. So when Porter grabs his wrist in the memory,

“I don’t think so, Stardiamond. You want this to work. You care, you always have. I know that’s who you still are.”

it's like. He's not seeing Jace for who he is. He's still clinging to the past. But also don't think he's completely wrong. Because jace does take that damage in the forest. He always had that capacity to care in him.

Anyway. I'll backtrack to the. Top of the scene tho.

Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.

Ok so this comes right after the whole. Jace wants Porter to acknowledge what he means to him. & Porter only mentioning his utility to The Plan. So. In my Mind the fantasy that Porter clings to about Jace and the fantasy Porter clings to about the house of sunstone heir of the cliffbreakers thing is made of the same stuff. It's all a glorious past that has been lostt to him. It's all something he's desperately trying to cling to.

There's also the fact that Jace says "I'm done playing house, Porter" (which i know is epilogue coded what can i say we get metatextual up in here). But. To me that's about. This idea of family. Porter feels he's been denied something of his lineage. In his mind he's doing this for his family as well as himself. I really wanted there to be something in there about Jace basically saying like. Why do you need to do this for your family. I'm your family. But it felt too on the nose and maybe not true to the character. B/c like. What family? The whole Jaceporter and the ratgrinders make up like a shitty fucked up fall of the house of usher type family is so real to me. But the thing is. That's a fantasy. Most of the ratgrinders are shatterstarred. Porter is clinging to something that doesn't exist.

And he says "if you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care." which. I think I needed to justify something within the text... But besides that. "get another me to do it" is so like. I think there's two things in there. 1) Jace is talking about his own replaceable nature within the plan. Calling attention to the fact that Porter actually COULD replace him, he just doesnt want to because he wants it to be jace. He just won't say that he'll say i need you you're so important blah blah. 2) obviously that's a bit of a jaceclone reference. He's saying literally another me, and long as I personally get that distance from you idc.

already talked abt the you care line so I'm gonna skip past it.

Another swing of Bigby’s Hand. This time, it’s a miss, and it dissipates—too rattled to concentrate. Jace seethes. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, or about who your Jace was. I’m —”

Ok. So like. I've talked about this a little bit, but I actually I do have a soft spot for the guardians of the galaxy 3 i actually think its pretty good and i don't like peter and gamora really but i think gotg3 uses them in very interesting ways b/c Quill keeps trying to insist that this gamora (a gamora from another time who never experienced the movies) should live up to the gamora from his memories. The line i actually really like is "What are you so afraid of within yourself that you need me to be something for you" which AAAAGGGGHHHH i feel sick about is very jaceporter to me. (The other scene that is very them is gamora saying “you know. I’m still not who you want me to be” and him going “yeah but who you are ain’t so bad” “I bet we were fun” “like you wouldn’t believe.” PORTER YEARNS FOR OLD JACE BUT ALSO ?? DID OLD JACE LOVE HIM TO THE POINT OF INVENTION?)

I don't think Porter would ever refer to the old jace as His Jace but I definitely think this jace conceives of it that way. & this is even more fucked bc PORTER put him here. That shit just happened to Gamora. PORTER is the one that wanted to actualize and use Jace but also misses who he used to be. And porter isn't wrong that this jace has the capacity to be as "good" at the old jace, but he's definitely not willing to acknowledge the harm he's caused or the pain this jace is in. I almost ended the exchange with "I'm Jace" but i felt like that also would be too on the nose. The fact that the name Jace is inherently a little bit silly does take a bit of the bite away. Sorry bestie beloved but its true ur name is ridiculous.

I think so much of this fic is Jace reconciling that he wants to be loved but he doesn't know in which way. Like. On the one hand he's saying please love as I am—as a person who has undergone irreconcilable trauma, different and the same. On the other hand he's saying please love me as I am— as the doggish, devoted frankenstein's creation that can't help but love his creator. And I think there's a little bit of both here. A little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace when i am what i am, the person you made, someone else, and i'm RIGHT HERE. And its a little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace expecting me to be something i no longer recognize, can you at least acknowledge that this trauma has changed me, that i feel different, that i feel as if i can never go back. But maybe those are the same thing

I also want a brief sec to talk abt that bigby's hand. I just wanted something that would leave a large impact i think? Like. this is such a WEIRD pull but i was watching that dirty laundry w/ brennan in which he talks abt getting in a car crash where the car trenches a hole in the grass and stops just shy of a woodchuck hole and he starts laughing in shock. I thought abt that a lot in the scene with the Motivational Poster bc of the laughing of shock but i also liked that imagery i guess of trenching a crater.

Pain, as the rage crystals and untamable arcana course through his veins—he can feel it in the present, too—and then the Jace in the memory surges so bad that he passes out on the lawn, but not before frying the nearby pomegranate tree to a crisp with a jolt of lightning. Jace turns away from that one as if flinching from a raised hand. Despite everything, he wishes most of all to apologize about the tree. He could laugh. How ridiculous.

Im playing a little loose with sorcery stuff but aint that the sorcery way i guess. Anyway I like in other fic when Jace has a hard time controlling his sorcery due to being shatterstarred as a way of being like yeah he's discordant with himself. Its sooooo good. I think the rage here is a little bit his and Porters. I don't know if thats how it works in the text but i made the call that jace's rage can also incite the crystal to act up.

OK SO lastly. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE POMEGRANIT TREE JUST BC ITS FUN even tho its literally is like. Yeah I love Hadestown and Jaceporter are soooooo persephades / orphydice coded. I liked the imagery of his surge being so bad that it kills the something dear to Porter in the garden, and I was like. Frying a tree sounds cool. And I was like. Well if its gonna be a fruit tree of COURSE it can't be any old tree it has to be a pomegranite tree. OF COURSE. And it's not stated but i do think it kinda was the centerpiece of that garden. And of course like. A pomegranate on its own already means a lot. In terms of like. Death n rebirth Persephades and this idea of the cycles of the seasons and leaving n returning and the overlap with this idea of like, corruption and a Fall from grace

Also a shoutout to my ability to neglect real world facts. "Lily, white, and Poppy red. I trembled as he laid me out. " Yeah, Porter decimated the poppies in the fight. They're completely out of season but we can play pretend.

I do think him wanting to apologize for the tree is like. Such a funny moment. I think after i wrote what happened to the tree i felt bad for said tree. There is something really sad abt that. So i think Jace would feel bad about destroying something that takes so long to grow, that Porter cares about, and find away to blame himself even tho Porter is the one who started everything.

Anyway. This scene felt. Necessary bc i think there needed to be some semblance of showing them in like. Actual conflict. at the time i actually did NOT know that THIS would be THE FIGHT in the exhange that Porter was talking about earlier. When he said "i thought you meant it this time". i mean. its not explicit but I do think there's a finality to the interaction that implies that yes. Jace was fucking serious this time. And again there's that throughline of the ratgrinders haunting the narrative. About Jace caring and feeling like he's never caring enough.

Like, so much of the story is ABOUT Porter looking right past jace and i felt like there should be scene that. Says it outright. But also. Not being completely wrong. IMO. B/c I also think Jace was threatened by the version of himself that porter sees. And he thinks he doesn't live up to that. he COULD never live up to that. (And in some ways he does. In some ways. He's might even be perfect in his own way. He kinda loved Porter to the point of invention so)

[moeitsu]

Can i ask you about your OC Kate?

Where did your inspo for her character come from? Does she represent anything about yourself?

I really love your fic. I think it’s an interesting approach to Arthur’s character to explore the parental guilt he has for what happened to Eliza and Isaac. And I love the way you do that by introducing a character that’s pretty much a mirror of himself, but under different circumstances. And she has broken the cycle already. Her backstory literally gave me chills when I read it. You have a great way of adding so much detail in such a short amount of words! I really look forward to each chapter :)))

AHH OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!! 💗♥️💜

Ty Ty Ty for asking it means so much to me when you guys ask question/give feedback/leave comments on my work. I’m so serious it literally brightens my day.

I wish this wasn’t anon so I can thank you properly, but please DM me and if you want I will add you to the tags for the next chapters!!

I’m so ready to dive into the Kate McCanon lore, I’m sorry if I get carried away:

I can’t really take any credit for her name. It’s from a Colter Wall song called “Kate McCanon”, but her character is nothing like the woman he’s singing about. I just really loved the name tbh. (And I’m a big fan of his music)

As far as my inspo for her character traits, they kinda just developed over time. I began forming ideas of her as I played rdr2 for the first time, at first I kinda pictured myself in the time period and how I would respond/react to certain events. Then as the story progressed I was like hm, I would definitely be dead by now if this was me. So i made someone stronger but also kept certain aspects like her humor, sarcasm, honesty, intelligence and kindness that I think are sorta reflection of myself.

In a nutshell, the Kate we see with Arthur and the gang is a free spirited tomboy who fully embraces the freedom and possibilities of life in the west and she also defies the gender stereotypes of that time period.

However, the lack of description of Kates appearance was entirely on purpose. I dropped little snippets of her looks at the beginning such as her height and size. (She’s a big woman) But tbh i didn’t want the focus of the story to be on what she looked like or what she was wearing. I purposely mentioned she is half Italian on her mothers side, (bc that will come up again later in the story for the plot) but I also wanted you guys to picture her however you felt was right. In my mind, she is a woman who appears intimidating but once you get to know her she’s a total sweetheart (much like Arthur hehe)

One of the reasons why I choose to keep Kate out of most missions is because she genuinely wants to be done with hurting people. She gave that life up and vowed to do better. Only when she’s pushed and survival is at stake do we see her break that promise. It’s almost ironic considering she is with a gang of outlaws, but like the girls, and Arthur too, she sees them as just people trying to get by. When she meets Jack and Abigail she sees a future dangling on a thread, and decides that if there’s something good she can do here. Then it’s going to be helping that family escape this life. Falling in love with Arthur just happens to be a bonus ;)

I had always intended to give Kate a traumatic backstory (sorry girlie). It started with her family, I wrote out an entire detailed timeline of her life. With names and dates and even random life events that will never make it in the story. But it helped me so much with building her background. It made her feel more real to me. I did so much research on the time period and what Boston was like in the 1800s. Even though I didn’t go into grave detail about her childhood or the death of her family members. But by doing so, it made it easier for me to write about that hopelessness and vulnerability she felt when she finally lost everything.

I chose to open the story with her burying her husband and child because (spoiler alert, but not really if you’ve been actively reading) that is the tie that links her soul with Arthur’s. Even though she does not blame herself for their deaths, it’s something that is engraved into the very being of her identity. And it pretty much dictates the person she becomes throughout the story.

When Kate is captured and taken to a military fort, that is where her “rock bottom” hits its “peak” so to speak. She has nothing left to lose at this point but herself. And in a way, she does lose herself. River is a character I hold very dear to me. And i might write a small spin off about him and Kate in the future. He was a reflection of what Kate would have become if she did not make a change. At first, he was her hope. But when his family met the same fate as hers, he became consumed by the darkness and rage. And unfortunately, she was in a state where Rivers anger nurtured her own. (I want to make it clear River is not a villain, he’s a victim)

I do kinda regret not exploring their relationship more in the chapter. But tbh it probably wouldn’t have added anything. However, I will say the two of them pretty much trauma bonded. They loved each other deeply, but not really in a romantic sense. River offered to marry her, but it was more out of “you are the only one i have left” kind of way. He was never going to give up that life and settle down again, getting married to Kate would just be a way to seal their relationship and vow to stand by each other till the very end. (Does this kinda mirror Arthur/Mary? That might be a reach idk)

All in all, I wanted to give Arthur someone who already understands him, but doesn’t know it yet. Someone that he doesn’t need to explain himself to because Kate has already been there. Arthur knows he’s a bad man, and he knows Kate has been a bad woman. He believes he is beyond saving, beyond redemption. But Kate sees someone who can be saved, he just need the support to do it.

I’ve been trying to plant the seeds over time that Kate truly misses being a mother, and feels robbed of the life she should be living. Raising her daughter. Jacks character has helped me manifest that in the story a lot. Especially that first kiss scene. Kate longs for a family. But she’s pretty much convinced herself that she will never have one again. So by helping the Marstons it alleviates some of that yearning. Arthur believes he has failed as a father, but what Kate sees is the potential for him to be a very loving parent. And it makes her head dizzy with adoration. (There will be many more tender moments with Jack/Arthur/Kate in the future btw)

I hope you guys don’t think my Arthur is too out-of-character. In the game, his son really isn’t mentioned a whole lot, and we know the reason he gives John such a hard time is because he doesn’t want to see him make the same mistakes. But I honestly believe Arthur would have made a wonderful father. The motivation behind this whole fanfic is really just exploring grief and parenthood. Which is ironic because i don’t have children lmao.

TLDR: Kate McCanon domesticates the wild outlaw known as Arthur Morgan 😂

I can’t believe I rambled so much on this. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you. But I guess it just goes to show how much I appreciate your question, and the fact that you’ve taken time out of your day to read my story.

I love you guys! ♥️

[humankarkat]

PLEASE tell me about the admiral and gallo plain!!!

Oh fuck yes The Admiral has been on my mind a lot lately, thanks to @timmy-jims-and-the-shindills lol

It's an AU I started writing a few years ago that I'm in the process of reworking now. Originally, it was set around the same time as Mando, and the Ghost crew infiltrates an old star destroyer for intel on the rebuilding Empire and run into Lyste, who's now an Admiral. Lyste ends up having a come-to-jesus and finally defects, feeding the Republic intel to help them destabilize whatever efforts the Empire has been making to coalesce.

As it stands now though, especially after Ahsoka came out, I've been wanting to revisit it and adapt a few things. The two biggest changes I've landed on so far is that Lyste is going to be a commander, not an admiral, which I think makes more sense and adds more tension to the story. I've also decided it will be set closer to the fall of the Empire, so probably not long after the destruction of the second Death Star.

It's full of intrigue and espionage and angst and also my silly little Imperial OCs. I just think Lyste deserves more attention, okay??

"Lyste, put the blaster down." Kallus's voice was steady. Diplomatic. "Please." Lyste let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, ‘please’ is the last thing I expected to hear from you!” He was only a few years older than her, Sabine remembered, but he was already going grey around the temples. “After everything you’ve done.” His voice trembled slightly. “After everything you’ve done, how do you honestly expect me to react? Hm? You break into my ship, you kill my men, you threaten my command-” “What the Empire is planning to do with this data is-” “Planning? How could the Empire plan anything like this? We’re defeated! Destroyed, all thanks to you and yours!” “Exactly! The Empire was defeated, yet its remnants still try to wreak havoc on the Galaxy! Lyste, clinging to the past isn’t going to change the fact that-”  “YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS FROM ME AGAIN!” There was silence between them for a long moment. Lyste’s breathing had become a bit labored. “You left me there. Alone. At his mercy.” His voice was hoarse. “Did you know what they would have done to me if they believed you? Did you care?” This caught Kallus off guard. “I… I hadn’t thought that far at the time, no.” “Of course not,” Lyste whispered. His gaze, and his blaster, fell just a little. “...Of course not.”

The Gallo Plain fic is a silly little thing I started writing last time I rewatched Red vs Blue. The Empire is going through a command overhaul where they're reorganizing a whole bunch of stations all at once, so Kallus gets reassigned to a little base on Lothal for about a week, just while they finish moving everyone around. The problem is that this is a dinky little base in the middle of nowhere that kinda slipped through the Empire's cracks, and the five troopers stationed there are taking full advantage of that by goofing off. Kallus tries to whip them into shape. It doesn't go well. It's an interesting week for him, to say the least.

It stood out against the unmoving yellow grasses of the surrounding plain, its gleaming metal walls blinding in the afternoon sun. Kallus started toward it with sweat already dripping down his back. It was smaller than he expected, actually, just one mid-sized building in the middle of an otherwise empty field, the sharp angles of Imperial architecture a stark contrast to the smooth bluffs around him.  As he approached, he saw a figure outside the main door. One of the troopers, clearly, although he was stripped down to his blacks and… reclining in a lounge chair? Kallus wondered where he even got a lounge chair, and why he was allowed to sit out in plain view, out of uniform, with his hands tucked behind his head and his eyes closed under the obviously non-regulation sunglasses. Kallus made a mental note to issue a formal reprimand and have a stern talk with his CO as he stopped in front of the man, his figure blotting out the sun and casting a shadow over him. “Listen, Jenkins, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times. Don’t interrupt me while I’m on watch,” said the trooper, turning his head towards him but keeping his eyes closed. “Got to keep the base secure. Rebels never sleep, you know.”  “It seems you do, however,” growled Kallus.  The trooper’s eyes shot open at the sound of his voice, and he scrambled to sit upright and pulled his sunglasses off. “Oh, karking hells, the ISB! Whatever it is, I didn’t do it. Shavit, I mean– Sorry, sir– Agent, ah, kriff.” Kallus watched coldly as the trooper stood clumsily and brought himself to a sloppy attention, then kicked the chair away in a vain attempt to hide it from view.  “Welcome to Gallo Plain Base, Agent, uh… Kriff, Agent…” “Kallus,” said Kallus, his voice dripping with disdain. “You should have received a formal message from command about my arrival some time ago.” “We did, sir, it’s just…” The trooper cleared his throat, then continued sheepishly, “We thought it was a joke, sir. Or maybe sent to the wrong base by mistake, I dunno. Point is, we um. We didn’t believe you were actually coming.” “Is that so,” said Kallus, the scorn in his voice nearly palpable. “Well, it seems my work here is cut out for me.” He moved past the trooper towards the main entrance. “Gather the men, I’d like to address them,” he said over his shoulder, “And put your armor on, for gods’ sake.”

Thanks for the ask! I'm excited to see where these go eventually, especially the Lyste fic.

[callipraxia]

Well, folks, here it is. The ATOTS review. It...really could not have been done together with the NWHS review, that was a silly idea. Here is a link to a Google doc with the previous S2 reviews arranged in chronological order, if you want to catch up on those (not sure many people saw the second part of the NWHS review) and don't want to deal with wading through tags and reblogs of reblogs and such. That said...

A Tale of Two Stans

1) And now here we are. A Tale of Two Stans. Aka, the episode that proves you can break the “writing rules” if you’re good enough, since an info-dump like this would normally be a no-no, and yet…well, here we go:

2) Aww, tiny Ford. Why would there be a boarded up stash of mesoamerican gold in New Jersey? Did you also do that thing Dipper does where sometimes he doesn’t really know what a big word means? Possible reference to the whole mesoamerican salamander thing? 

3) Oh, Ford did kinda make it into the opening sequence, didn’t he? Last picture to fall on the stack before the title card of the Mystery Crew. Kinda fitting, given that despite being very important from here on out, he still holds himself a bit aloof from most of the cast for the majority of that time. 

4) I know why the writers had to include that awkward “brother!” line (so people catching up would remember, “oh, yeah, Stan said that this person was the Author of the Journals and his brother…and then the camera revealed he meant twin brother,” and so they could avoid calling Ford anything for a little while), but it was just…awkward. We see in flashbacks that Stan did sometimes call him “Stanford,” so I have to wonder if anyone would have noticed had Stan gotten halfway through the word and then gotten socked in the jaw. Or heck, even just called him “Ford” - though I’ve gathered that enough of the fandom had already guessed there were twins and one was called Stanley by this point that they might have actually said “wait, what?” upon Stan bringing forth “his” rarely-heard second syllable at the sight of his brother. 

5) …And then you see that however clubby they were in the flashback, something has clearly gone Very Wrong in the interim. Or would that be apparent to someone viewing this in isolation, I wonder? Stan’s repeatedly remarked that he’s been working on his project for thirty years, and Powers had previously implied that the machine did…something…thirty years ago in “Scaryoke.” Perhaps someone thought Mr. Mysterious Man With No Name was just very, very confused…and then got to the rest of the episode. 

…Though once you’ve seen the rest of the series and especially if you’ve spent far, far too much of your life dissecting Ford’s character on a molecular level, it is noteworthy in its way that all he did was punch Stan. Does he have a bit of a “do not shoot people who closely resemble relatives” policy? Considering the things we know about the multiverse, such a policy could probably have gotten him killed fifteen times over even assuming he didn’t stumble into a parallel Earth where the Shapeshifter had escaped, eaten Stan, and set up shop just to wait for the person it *really* wanted to kill to come back….

Hm. If the Shapeshifter stayed in one form for long enough, would it age the way that form would? I have no idea, my brain is wandering off on tangents again. Anyway, back to the episode. 

6) I am…unsure what to make of the fact Ford a) instantly recognized this individual as ‘his’ Stan, despite being aware of others existing, b) immediately figured out Stan is responsible for the portal restarting, without even checking to see if there are other people in the room, implying he isn’t altogether surprised that Stan would do this, and c) gets mad about it and launches into an argument as though picking right back up where he left off thirty years ago. And Stan goes straight from…all kind of emotions to sarcasm “some kind of…sci-fi sideburn dimension?”) with just as little hesitation. 

7) “Just because you’re family.” Dang, this makes Stan’s outburst at the end of the episode that much more painful to think about. 

8) “Stan, you didn’t tell me there were children down here.” That…would have been one of the upsides of giving the guy time to say…much of anything before you started yelling, Ford. Just saying.

9) Oh gosh, poor Dipper. Just…poor Dipper. 

10) “Also maybe the entire U.S. government.” “The WHAT?!” That…was some pretty impressive lede-burying, Stan. 

11) “Okay, it’s all right.” There’s Ford, never wanting to admit he’s completely lost control of the situation (I might not have noticed this, but happen to have reread the Ford essay of doom this morning)

12) Gotta compliment the animators on the scene where Ford (completely unaware he’s doing so) drops the bombshell that he’s not Stanley. The camera isn’t really focused on Stan in particular, but he has an utterly “oh [redacted] this is gonna go over like a lead balloon” expression on his face even before Mabel says his name is Stanford.

13) You know Stan was deliberately crafting his retelling of his childhood, focusing on the boat and how they were always a team and etc. Of course, we know from later sections that Stan isn’t necessarily telling the kids everything he remembers (he may not have narrated the scene with Crampelter to them, for instance) but his wording in the speaking bits are clearly trying to remind Ford of “good times.” 

14) If you look closely, when Stan jumps into the science fair picture, Ford momentarily looks…something. An expression of consternation is observable. Considering what he later says to Dipper about how being a twin’s a very claustrophobic experience, and the fact they both get called to the office when only one of them was wanted…yeah, I’m going with the theory that Ford wasn’t quite as happy as Stan might have liked to think for a while before the Incident proved the straw that broke the camel’s back. In the beach scene, Tiny Ford muses on whether there is a place where “freaks like me” fit in. I think this sums up a subtle but important difference in the characters: Ford wanted to find a place in society that would accept him, while Stan’s goal was just to get away from it and find a place where neither of them would need acceptance anymore. Which makes it interesting that Ford’s sometimes perceived as the ‘loner’ twin - Ford himself might want to think that, but truth is, he’s wanted to be amongst people since he was a small child, he just couldn’t figure out their social behaviors well enough to remotely compensate for having an unusual physical feature. On one hand, he can function much better when he’s truly on his own than Stan can, but on the other, one reason why Bill might have found Stan harder to manipulate is because of how very exclusive the list of people with opinions Stan actually cares about seems to be. He’s much more comfortable being an outsider…just so long as he has that little group of people on his side. Without them, however…not so much.

15) Why on Earth did the receptionist call “Pines twins” instead of just one of them? Was it just assumed Stan would show up whether called or not (if only out of confusion), or just a habit of everyone treating them as so much of a unit that even the school staff had to remind itself “oh, yeah, this isn’t actually some ‘person with two personalities’ deal, they’re separate people who are in fact capable of walking down hallways independently.”

16) Oh gosh, I just now noticed that the ears are drawn just as…blank things, and now I can’t unsee it. 

17) Hi, Principal Guy? I hate you. Just for the record. I think Caryn might agree with me; blink and you’ll miss it, but she clearly gives the guy some kind of Look when he gets to that “and his name’s Stanley” bit, and it could be interpreted as a glare.

(18) Seriously, this...the school sections just anger me for very specific reasons...not least of which is how, er, close to accurate it kinda is in some ways, regardless of how far off it is in others. I have relatives in the same age range as the Stans. One of them once had a teacher snidely remark that he’d pull the hood of his sweater up over his head, too, if he was as ugly as her; he then punished her for said rule infraction by making her walk home after school in the rain. The guy was eventually made to apologize to her very unimpressed and irate mother, but the fact remains – he felt perfectly comfortable saying that out loud to a student’s face in the seventies, just as Ford is the only person in the room here who seems to fully realize ‘wait, that was...not really so much a compliment to me as a setup for insulting Stan, and that’s kinda messed up from both directions.’ Now, I work in education, so I know the system is still seriously screwed up in lots of ways...but at least there would be a reasonable expectation of negative consequences for anyone who said something like that to a student or parent these days.)

19) Setting, briefly, aside how much I’d like to kick the principal character and then give him a lengthy lecture on why he sucks as an educator on every possible front...his remarks about Stan potentially not finishing high school are the reason why I’ve always favored the timeline which puts this in the second half of their junior year of high school instead of their senior year. If it was senior year, after all, then Stan could have continued to coast on Ford’s papers for the rest of the term, or – in the extremely unlikely event Ford just went straight to college without passing Go or collecting 200 diplomas or anything like that – just the school handwaving him through. It only makes sense if he had at least a solid, not-started semester left to fail spectacularly in, and a year left seems more reasonable.

20) This would, however, mean that Filbrick did not kick one of his kids out a couple of months before the kid was eighteen (which still would have been a deplorable thing to do), but a sixteen-year-old. So yeah, kicks and lectures to Filbrick, too.

21) Stan, you’re breaking my heart here. How. Many. Times. In this review set have I mentioned that you’d solve a lot more of your problems if you just told people what they were instead of being defensive and making attempts at jokes and just generally deflecting the situation. I mean, you probably weren’t going to get the outcome you wanted even if you had communicated, but you might have not, y’know, gotten disowned as a teenager, thrown out on the street, and left to fend for yourself and therefore almost inevitably slip into a life of crime.

22) If Stan didn’t intentionally smash the thing, he...probably shouldn’t have phrased the lead-up to the Science Fair Incident that way in his voice-over.

23) it’s kind of interesting to note how far back Stan’s tendency to talk to inanimate objects goes - one assumes he was projecting Ford onto the Journals when he would seemingly monologue to those, but who was he really talking to when he told the machine it was “all your fault!” Thinking back on what I said in my “Little Gift Shop of Horrors” reviews…his attempts to dissociate Ford’s academic giftedness from his base personality, his inability to communicate…it’s tempting to wonder if he’s kind of speaking to Ford when he’s ranting at the machine, too. He might not realize it consciously - would probably go to any lengths to avoid recognizing the fact, actually - but….

24) A lot of people have commented on how stupid the college admissions board bit is (how it’s extremely implausible that they wouldn’t at least look over the work he put into the thing, how they give their school a bad name being rude, etc.), but have an extra point from me: why was an asterfladjik perpetual motion machine being kept right out in the open with the other science fair projects, anyway? For all we know, Crampelter did the majority of the damage in the interim just for spite or something. Or Blendin, or...get the picture? The irresponsibility of whoever was in charge of the exhibits is probably at least as much to blame as anyone else for things going awry there.

25) Stan cost “our family” potential millions. Not “your brother.” “Our family.” The Pines tendency toward groupthink really isn’t just a Stan and Mabel thing, they all have it to some degree – unless, of course, one interprets things as uncharitably as possible, in which case Filbrick and Stan might both use “our family” and “this family” as a cover for “me,” to make a totally selfish objective look better….

Yeah, I know I say I have fun doing it, and I do – but too much character analysis can…kinda start to get to you after a while. Become involuntary. Prompt you to put forward these possibilities in public, as if you were still in English 400-something…Engage with caution, kids.

26) Pity Stan didn’t actually, y’know, go into sales. He managed to a) come up with a convincing-looking product as a teenager with no resources, b) presumably talk his way into an opportunity to pitch it to TV, and c) actually sell what looks like a decent number of fake clothes cleaners and shoddy pitchforks. And then just. Keep. doing it. Over and over again (the map showing glimpses of his travels indicates he got into horse racing at some point, doubtless losing his shirt as one generally eventually does when gambling, and…we probably don’t even want to know why he was being chased by guys with machetes outside the country, do we, but apparently he was also hawking lousy tennis rackets in his twenties along with the previously-viewed StanVac.). In a legit sales job, he might well have done all right for himself….

Except, of course, for it being…tricky to get a job outside of manual labor/something in a plant or mill without a diploma, and, perhaps even more importantly…Stan being Stan. His personality would render him utterly unsuited to joining a sewing plant or a cotton mill, at the very least, even if he’d been so inclined (I don’t know much about meat-packing plants or anything like that, but three generations of my family worked in the same sewing plant; decent living, but you had to have social skills more advanced than any of the Pineses demonstrated to flourish in such an environment, and of course you’d never get rich at it), and possibly for working closely with others/in a subordinate position at all. Despite his lack of self-esteem, Stan does not take orders especially well; we see when he tries and fails to call Ford for help (and then lies about it to the kids) that he’s proud as well as touchy and someone who just fundamentally…struggles to stay within the lines dictated by normal society, really. Perhaps it’s a mental illness or other mental issue (his shoplifting could well be indicative of a compulsive tendency as well as his depression and possible Issues post-homelessness, and when his behavior is looked at as a whole, I imagine it would be quite easy to make a case for him as someone with one of the major personality disorders, especially given his extreme emotional volatility. He could also reasonably be interpreted as having ADHD, with an emphasis on the poor-impulse-control aspect. Most likely, there’s more than one thing a psychiatrist could put a label on going on with him, really), but one gets the impression that Stan just…cannot help himself, or at least finds it extremely difficult to do so. Independent business probably really was his best option, all things considered - though under better circumstances, it might have consisted of something like “eventually taking over the business from the old man” or some joint venture with one of his brothers, not, er, endless con games and dodgy product sales. 

27) I do not wish to recall how much time I spent trying to google “universities that were viewed as always second-choice schools in the seventies” and similar terms, trying to pin down where Backupsmore might be/what it might be vaguely based on. 

28) It’s also interesting to contemplate…sure, a kid might want to go to CalTech, and, for whatever reason, might not manage. This does not mean said kid could not still get into a really excellent school which could just as easily be someone else’s first choice…which, frankly, it’s hinted Backupsmore…might have been, looked at from a more objective perspective than Ford’s? Perhaps it didn’t have the good publicity of some others, but Ford seems to have flourished there both academically and (by his standards) socially. That’s where he met Fiddleford, someone he considers even brighter than himself. They had a DDMD group, and this resulted in him noting in the Journal that he had ‘friends’, plural. He made rapid progress in his studies and wrote a nationally-ranked doctoral thesis in at least one of the hard sciences at an age when a lot of folks are still working on undergraduate (we’re never given an exact number, but based on a combination of him noting that he is “in his thirties” six years after arriving in Gravity Falls and a lot of googling about how long standard programs in various areas last, I’m…guessing that to be as far ahead as he says he was, he was probably around 23-24. At most.). This is where he also apparently, for reasons unknown, a) participated in a competition to invent mind control devices for a politician and b) even knew that was what the competition was for, which was…interesting (in a fic, I made this a plot point by saying the people who sponsored that program were from the same government agency as Powers and Trigger). It’s understandable why he might be bitter about having a golden opportunity to go to The Very Best snatched away almost as soon as it was presented to him, but it doesn’t seem like Backupsmore was really all that bad of a school. The dorms comment…I never lived in a dorm, but my understanding is that it’s quite common for them to have these sorts of problems, even at good schools. Just one of those “communal living” things, particularly when the residents are at one of those ages where a lot of them are not much invested in keeping their environments clean and tidy. 

29) Tea club represent! (I am…quite enthusiastic on the subject of hot tea, so I notice when characters have it. Especially when they are Americans, as this can imply that some thought was put into the decision to draw that instead of a coffee cup)

30) “Just…going to ignore that.” Oh, gosh, poor Dipper. It’s funny - if you just watched this episode, you’d walk away with the impression Mabel and Ford were going to get along fabulously while Ford thought “...what is wrong with that one?” about Dipper. But for Gompers, I guess….

31) Just saying…Fiddleford apparently had a pretty nice house. Unless, of course, the implication is that he, Emma-May, and Tate were literally living in the garage and that the house belonged to someone else, but this seems unlikely. He also seems to have had some business going on his own already, plus whatever Emma-May might have brought in (I’ve written her as a schoolteacher before, and there’s no reason, really, why she shouldn’t be in much any profession one might wish to place her in. It was 1980. Everybody was on the Pill and women were allowed to have private bank accounts even after marriage. Maybe she was the breadwinner, I’m just noting that Fiddleford hardly seems to have been a starving visionary, one way or another)

32) I love the implication that Ford didn’t bother with comments like “hello” or “this is Stanford,” but just sprang “multi-dimensional meta-vortex” on Fiddleford in the first sentence…and Fiddleford just instantly did the calculations in his head to determine it “mathematically feasible” without missing a beat. 

33) In the field of detail work - it could be interpreted differently at the time, but we see Fiddleford being a little sloppy with where he put his feet, and them both looking grim just before launching the dummy - all in keeping with the eventual reveals that they were both extremely sleep-deprived and had just had a nasty quarrel the night before. 

34) Hate to say it, Stan, but…frame of mind your brother was in at the time, I wouldn’t have entirely ruled out biting under the right circumstances. 

35) Stan is the quickest man on two feet with a snappy comeback. Not always to his benefit, but guess you gotta work with the skills you have.

36) Ford, on one hand, you’re quite right - Stan really does have no idea what you’re up against. He exists, at this point, 90% in the mundane world, where things are…usually not as dramatic as they are in yours. Out of context, it sounds like you’re just complaining that you have dangerous enemies; Stan’s response to the mailman a few days earlier was to grab a baseball bat on the assumption that anyone who knocked on his door would be an enemy, so that much, he gets completely. On the other hand, Stan is also right - you really do have no idea what he’s been through. Heck, you both robbed the United States government and he’s the only one who got caught for it; I highly doubt you’d been to any prison (at least at this point), much less a South American prison in the seventies, and things were going pretty well for you until…well, frankly, they hadn’t been going all that well for the past two years, but you didn’t realize it until much more recently. On yet another hand, though, Stan - you looked concerned a mere scene ago that Ford might be going off the deep end, and you were kinda right about that. Man answered the door rambling about people stealing his eyes, and he just handed you some tatty, ragged-looking handwritten book that he’d glued a silhouette of his own hand onto like some kind of grade school art project, all while rambling about how you had to take it to the ends of the Earth to prevent terrible destruction. If you know about Bill, of course, this is all perfectly logical…but without that knowledge, Ford doesn’t look like someone being insensitive here, he looks like someone suffering from severe paranoid delusions, possibly having some kind of psychotic episode. Either way, it’s quite obvious there’s something…Very Wrong. 

But then we get back to the theme, boys: communication. Do some of that sometime, won’t you? I mean, you’ve tried everything else, you might as well give this a shot, yeah?

(In real terms, though…this scene is one of the painfully realistic ones. Neither party is thinking straight; for various reasons, neither party may be capable of thinking straight for a sustained amount of time. As an adult who’s seen some Stuff, Stan realizes that there is something…wrong…here…but even leaving aside how frightening it would be to find a relative in that state, and how much you’d try to deny it was as bad as it was by analogizing it to Caryn on a caffeine overdose, this is just Not Something Stan Is Remotely Equipped To Deal With, and wouldn’t really be equipped to deal with even if he didn’t have so many issues of his own. We don’t know how long he’s been traveling, but traveling will wear you out quick enough, and we know the state Ford was in. Neither of them was in anything like any condition to control his temper well even if either had had a better track record than they do, and so, you’ve got two people with anger issues who are playing with incomplete decks here, and who have a lot of personal history…one starts talking over the other, they’re exchanging shots now instead of actually discussing the issue, then next thing you know…yeah. I’ve never actually had it come to blows, but I’ve had a lot of arguments with relatives which played out depressingly similarly, where you’re trying to make a point and the other person jumps in with something else and next thing you know, neither of you is talking about the original subject at all anymore, you’re yelling about something seemingly unrelated. Or possibly even two totally different subjects at once, even though both of you think you’re on the same topic. That’s always…fun….) 

37) I know I was defending Backupsmore a few items ago, but, uh…they didn’t have a single lab safety class in there, Ford? And/or they let you in the lab after you failed one in epic fashion? Cause everything about this screams “I never read the lab safety rules in my life!” 

38) I also have to wonder if…more than just errors that are attributable to Ford being bad at lab safety was at work here, though. Fiddleford put half a foot over the safety line and got sucked in; Stan ran over it and almost to the base of the thing without it affecting him even as Ford, in the same moments, a) could throw a book hard enough to overcome the gravity suspension but b) could not stop himself from going through the Portal. 

39) “That’ll be 99 cents.” Ways You Know This Was Set Before I Was Born….

40) Y’know, I never realized it, but…Lazy Susan changed the course of history. Stan presumably would have either left the store without buying anything or (it is Stan, after all) tried to punch Ma Duskerton in the face before running out the door with the loaf of bread in question if Susan hadn’t happened to mistake him for Ford…and then Toby and Blubbs started telling stories about the “mysterious science guy”’s reputation…and next thing you know, Stan has created the basic idea for the Mystery Shack out of pure desperation. If that hadn’t happened, then nothing else in canon could have proceeded to happen: Stan would probably be dead or permanently in prison by now, Ford would have mysteriously disappeared without a trace when the Northwest Realty people finally came to knock down the door to demand overdue mortgage payments, and Dipper and Mabel would never have come to town. Aside from issues of prophecy and destiny and all that, there’s also just how it’s implied this is the first time Dipper’s had friends…basically ever. They both do a lot of personal growth over that summer, especially him, which they wouldn’t have had otherwise. All because of Lazy Susan, of all people. 

41) 1982. Bread costs 99 cents per loaf. And they all just forked over fifteen dollars apiece. That was rather good money in those days, no wonder Stan’s eyes did that thing upon seeing it presented to him. 

41) Oh, Lazy Susan also inspired “Mr. Mystery”? Dang, Susan, you are surprisingly important! 

42) I’ve noted it before, but I’ll note it again: look at the surroundings of Stan’s mirror in the aging montage. At first, we see a bunch of papers about Stan himself. Next shot, still a lot of papers about Stan/his business, but he’s also taped a picture of himself and Ford as small children to the wall beside it - motivation, I suppose. Then in the final shot, he’s replaced his own “Employee of the ‘Month’ plaque with one declaring Soos the Employee of the Year, and where the picture of himself and Ford was, there’s now a framed photograph of Dipper and Mabel on the fishing trip. I’ll be the first to point out his occasionally questionable motives and ethics and multitude of character flaws, but credit where credit is due: man built a life for himself through genuine work (hey, making up tall tales is a valid job, what else do you call what authors do?)...and then was prepared to throw it all out the window, as he *had* to know that there were going to be…issues…with having killed off his original identity if he really did get Ford back/when Ford got back and saw the length of ‘his’ alleged rap sheet for the past thirty years. He had some personal motivations, of course (he felt guilty about what had happened; he wanted the relationship they’d had as children back; etc), but considering how much he had to lose by 2012, it’s hard not to give Stan some credit when deciding whether or not he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. 

43) “The town. My family. Your parents. Even you kids.” Ah, this is why I assumed that Stan was just airbrushed out of the family’s collective memory after his disownment and that nobody knew he was really Stanley all those years - he lumps ‘your parents’ and ‘you kids’ together as distinct units, implying that ‘my family’ would mean his own parents and presumably the twins’ grandfather. Also, I find Ford’s expression very difficult to interpret here. 

44) And then there’s one of those moments when it’s hinted that Dipper and Stan are a lot more alike than either of them might be fully comfortable with - as soon as he’s heard the story, Dipper instantly apologizes for his…actually extremely reasonable doubts and anger in the first part of the episode. It’s not just that even Stan would have trouble believing a tale as tall as the truth of his life: it’s that Stan never told them a tale to begin with, which just left them to draw their own conclusions. I…really can’t think of a sensible interpretation Dipper could have reached other than “this guy is a murdering identity thief who isn’t related to me at all and…even if he doesn’t want to end the world, this is still probably not good, whatever he’s doing” with the evidence he had at the time, especially after the conversation in “Scaryoke” where Stan ‘fessed up to lying about the town and promised that was the end of it. It would, to some extent, be fair to be a bit upset with Stan about this even after learning the truth…but he isn’t. It really was for the family, then? Oh, ok, we’re good. 

45) I know the random utility of the totem pole is a bit contrived, but I’ll give ‘em their due: we did see in “Scaryoke” that Stan had security cameras showing the exterior of the property on monitors in the lab, so that’s actually a reasonably sensible place for some electronics to have been after all, I guess.

46) Ford admittedly did a decent enough improv job right up until he fumbled the technology, but it was a good thing Powers and Trigger were a bit dazed and confused - otherwise, they…might have noticed that his “very real report” was actually a picture of Mabel, outlined in flames and apparently laughing maniacally beneath a caption of ‘what hath science wrought?!’, considering it was in plain view of everyone for several shots there. 

47) I just realized that the timeline I established once means I almost certainly wrote three novels where Ford is stuck in his just-left-the-Portal outfit: aka, high-collared black rags that make him look a bit like a vampire that’s recently been in a knife fight. I’m…sure this did wonders for him all the times it would have helped him out to be perceived as a Respectable Sort Of Person We Should Listen To….

48) Anyone else really, really want to know what they were talking about for…at least a while, considering it was sunset (but still very much not dark at all) when Soos left the porch and full dark with stars out when it cut to the infamous mirror conversation? Especially since the fact that they were still talking fairly civilly - even joking - at that point meant that the previous conversation…probably was actually going reasonably well, or at least as well as could be expected, all things considered? 

Well, there. I did it. A Tale of Two Stans, a full reaction. It only took the entire day….

....Eh, worth it.

[msmargaretmurry]

I hated HIM soo much!! something about the way the authors wrote gay and bi people rubbed me the wrong way and I could never get over it. But I will say I loved heated rivalry (the game changers book) with my whole heart, even though the other books in the series were not for me. The main couple never reminded me of sid/ovi mainly because it’s impossible for me to visualize sidney crosby in any kind of sexual scenario :/

✨🌟💕💖HIM haters unite!!!💖💕🌟✨

scream, sorry to sidney crosby but this is so funny to me. i support you. you're so valid.

i told someone else that when i answered this ask that i'd elaborate a little on why HIM didn't work for me, but i'm going to put that stuff under a cut in case there are secret HIM fans on here who are getting really tired of me dragging a book they like, lmao.

ok so it has been a while since i read it so i might not remember all the details, but here were my biggest turn-offs for that book. some of these are things i would let slide if other parts of the book were better. like, i WILL let clunky writing slide if the story/characters are really good (but if the story/characters are also bad i just get more pissy about it the more i read). some of these though... eesh.

the writing. sorry, the writing was not very good!! if i am reading a book and i can't stop line-editing in my head as i go, the story is gonna have to do some really heavy lifting to win me over. the worst part for me was how there were a whole bunch of instances where i would read a sentence and go "hm, that's a weird word choice" because the word choices were just like... slightly off of what they were probably supposed to mean? like someone had pulled then from a thesaurus without actually understanding the nuance in meaning between the synonyms. it was really distracting.

the pacing/worldbuilding. this book constantly did the thing where it introduced a person, place, or concept the moment it became important instead of building those things into the story along the way so that when they became important it didn't feel like it was being made up on the spot. once again, really distracting!

the protagonists. the first few chapters made an attempt at developing distinct voices for the two protagonists but that was all out the window by like a quarter of the way through. they had minor personality differences but other than that were near-identical cringeworthy sports bro stereotypes.

the way every woman was treated in the story???? gross

the way bisexuality was treated in the story?????? GROSS

the HOCKEY. this book actually lulled me into a sense of false security because the first few chapters did a decent job with the frozen four, but after that? absolute nonsense. the main characters are college prospects the summer before they go pro and the book had NO grasp of how that process looks or works. like for example one of them is a goalie and his big existential crisis is "i don't know if going pro will be worth it if i'm not immediately the starting goalie for the nhl team i sign with." WELL BUDDY YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE. BECAUSE OF HOW DEVELOPMENT WORKS. WHICH YOU AS A HOCKEY PLAYER AT THIS LEVEL WOULD DEFINITELY KNOW ABOUT. HOPE THIS HELPS. just, no idea how the player-agent relationship works, no idea how the agent-team relationship works, no idea how the prospect-team relationship works.

the sex scenes read like the author(s) learned everything they knew about gay sex from reading mediocre fanfiction published in 2012

(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!) the part at the end when whats his face comes out to his nhl team's pr guy and the pr guy is like "no problem buddy we actually already knew because we cyber-stalk all of our prospects! we actually drafted you because we'd been getting some heat for letting all our players of color go and thought a gay player would show we value diversity! so when you wanna come out publicly we already have the press release done!" and whats his face is like huh kinda weird but cool ok! ABSOLUTELY B O N K E R S. not that i wouldn't put it past an nhl team to be like that but oh my god don't act like it's cool and normal instead of total nightmare fuel??

okay. sorry. i'm done now. i buddy-read this book with a friend and she couldn't even finish it because she also hated it. i know a lot of people liked this book according to goodreads, and obviously people are allowed to like things that are not to my taste but lordy. what a bad time for me personally!!!

[skyward-floored]

Hey Skyward! So, one your recent answers got me hoping, (if you have time) regarding the Incredibles AU- I thought it was really cool to see the different stages of “comfortable” Wild and Hyrule were in throughout your fics. It was just done really well. And I was left wondering, got any fluff or angst (or both) of their transitions from hiding/not speaking to crawling on Time’s bed because he’s sick?

Thank you! It was fun to write them both get gradually more comfortable with everyone, and it was a bit of a writing experiment too, slightly different than what I usually write :)

As for angst or fluff from them adjusting... hm.

They both had a lot of moments where it was one step forward three steps back, especially for Hyrule, who had to adjust to several more people then Wild did. Wild of course had his nightmares he had to deal with though, so they both had equal tough times and happy ones. They all counted it a victory when they finally got Hyrule to eat three meals a day though!

And I do have this scene here, which was an idea I wanted to put in Hyrule’s fic but didn’t quite fit in right anywhere. Living around people with questionable motives and living on the street in between leaves you with some marks... which in the fic Wild was supposed to notice and go “hey me too :D” but just didn’t fit in right.

But anyways, here’s a short, kinda unpolished scene of Twilight finding out Hyrule even has any scars (under a cut because this post is already a bit long)

...

Twilight caught a glimpse of the lines again later as Hyrule flipped the rock he was looking at over, and decided a closer look couldn’t hurt.

He tried to casually brush his hand over Hyrule’s sleeve the next time he reached for an interesting rock, but the younger boy noticed immediately. In fact, Hyrule jumped nearly straight up in the air at the touch, throwing himself backwards and putting up a shield before he realized what had happened.

Twilight immediately drew back from the younger boy, who was staring at him shakily as he dropped his shield. His eyes were wide as he clutched his arm around his chest, and Twilight could tell he was a few seconds away from bolting back inside.

“I’m sorry Hyrule, I wasn’t trying to scare you,” Twilight quickly apologized, keeping his voice soft. He slid back and gave Hyrule more space, and he seemed to slightly relax. “I just wanted to look at the marks on your arm.”

Hyrule pulled his arm in more tightly to his chest, and somehow shrunk even smaller into himself.

“Th-they’re just old marks,” he whispered.

“But do they hurt?” Twilight asked, hesitantly extending an arm. “I just want to help Hyrule. You know Wild has some scars too, we have stuff to put on them to make them hurt less. We could do the same for yours if you want.”

Hyrule stayed where he was, but let Twilight scoot closer again, carefully watching his outstretched arm.

After several long moments of silence, Hyrule took in a deep breath, then cautiously pulled his sleeve up, showing off the handful of scars marring his skin. Twilight stayed silent as the younger boy slowly extended his arm towards him.

“They’re all pretty small, they don’t hurt,” he said quietly, and carefully set his hand on Twilight’s. His palm felt clammy against Twilight’s. “Not anymore. Only the one.”

“Which one still hurts?” Twilight asked softly, looking over the marks, and Hyrule swallowed.

He hesitated, then carefully pulled part of his shirt up, exposing an angry knot of scarring a bit above his hip. Twilight paled as he took in the size and obvious deepness of the old injury, and Hyrule quickly tugged his shirt back down, looking uncomfortable.

“It doesn’t hurt very often,” Hyrule continued, trying to be reassuring. “Just sometimes.”

“Hyrule...” Twilight began, then stopped, not even sure of how to begin to ask about it. How on earth could he have gotten such an awful scar? What had happened to him?

He was interrupted from asking anything else by Malon calling from inside that dinner was ready. Hyrule perked up and pulled his sleeve back down, giving Twilight one last unreadable look before scampering out of the backyard.

Twilight watched him go with a worried lump settling in his stomach.