#i don't mind the more mature concepts
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I'm so disappointed about the jihyo solo and 24 hours later i'm still not over it
#i've hated the group's latest trend and i feel like she was pulled into it#i don't mind the more mature concepts#hello??? icsm???#CRY FOR ME????#both amazing#the eyes wide open album was amazing and while i loved formula of love more i still loved it so much#my problem is not the more mature concepts#i liked between 1&2 well enough#but rtb i did not like very much#it's set this new tone for the group that i am not a fan of#i resold my tickets for the concert bc i couldn't stand it#i've been a fan since their debut and it's just... so disappointing#i love her so much she's my ultimate favorite#comparing ny's solo to her solo is ridiculous#ny obviously had so much more production value and love given to it#i feel like they made her hold back so much#i'm just really really disappointed#i was expecting to be disappointed with the current trend but i'm sad anyway#i've been hoping for her solo for so long and was even mad when it was ny first#but this was not it#for me at least#i wish her and the group the best--#MISAMO??? THAT WAS AMAZING#even that had better quality!!!!#do not touch was so good!!! so much better compared to this!!!#why is she getting the short end of the stick#ugh i'm so mad#she deserves so much better than this#i wish her and the group the best but i'm so removed from this group now#and if they grow and i'm no longer their audience that's fine but i'm going to miss them and their music dearly
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Helloooo! I saw that your requests were open for Hazbin- how about a reader who's a seraphim? Kind of Lucifer's protégé/child way before the creation of Eden, Adam, and Lilith.
And he just kind of left them up there alone and neglected because of her association/kind of Dad!Lucifer. So, it's kind of angsty seeing as how Lucifer was a better Dad to Charlie and the reader grew with envy and fell into that ring along with her brother (I've been seeing hc/rumor a lot) Cain.
What would happen their first meeting again? If this is too much I don't really mind so no worries! Have a nice day and thanks for reading!!
A/N: I’m sorry but I go by biblical too so this might be different but same concept and storyish
Like father like daughter
Lucifer x daughter Reader
Synopsis: Your dad left you young now you left him
How it started
You are my Sunshine My only sunshine
You make me happy When skies are grey
Little you giggles at your father’s little song for you and only you. You were an angel whose mother was long gone leaving just you and your father. You made grabby hands towards him making his heart melt before lift you up.
“Boop” you cutely said as you boop his nose making him chuckle. “Boop” he said back making you giggle this time.
“Okay baby it’s time for me to go to work so Uncle Castiel is gonna watch you okay baby?” He asked you making you nod happily before rushing to your uncles arms.
You never knew that was the last time you would see him and with that you cried and cried for your dad until Sera and the other Angels showed you he forgot about you, he had a wife and daughter….
You watched as he singed the same lyrics he sang to you to her. You were only 5 and parentless watching your father abandon you but staying for another that his. That’s when you grew up odd with another angel. You were evil or as they say a bad apple.
You were Cain’s secret friend encouraging him to kill his brother Abel. That when you were sent down in hell where your dad is but you never cared to look for him finding some friends of your own.
You were older and more mature then her but she was the youngest, and you were the oldest. Does that mean you had to made the sacrifice to be left?
Even so it hurts and your growing hate towards your father and sister grew stronger by the centuries.
With Lucifer though he was trying everywhere to find you, You were no where to seen in heaven and no where on earth so you must be in hell. But even then he couldn’t find you.
You grew close to Cain when he came to hell after being full of pride and thinking he could live without God and with his punishment. You saw him as a brother the only family you considered. You were never gonna be ready to let your other family in your life and you meant that.
When you were both getting ice cream You heard something. “___!” you turned around to see lucifer huffing and puffing finally catching up to you.
“My Sunshine! Woah have you grown into a-” you punched him in the face. You the eldest of Lucifer punched him in the face and my god it felt great to do. Your unbelievable smile widen as you saw his pain. Call it fucked up as you will but you almost laugh on how pathetic he was and to believe you looked up you him.
“Don’t… Don’t call me that. I thought we both grew out of that nickname a long time ago” You mumbled before turning away from him having nothing else to say.
“___ I was trying to protect you! Don’t you understand I was going to come back for you. I-“COME BACK TO ME? NOW THATS BULLSHIT “DAD” BECAUSE SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR OTHER BORN WAS NOT LOOKING FOR ME” You interrupted him turning into your full demon form Lucifer looked at you in shocked and stunned.
“I was 5 waiting for my own father to come home” You stated calmly as Lucifer looked at you with tears in his eyes.
“Please give me another chance, I love you too much to let you go” He pleaded taking you hand but you yanked it straight away.
“You gonna know how it feels to let go of the person you” You growled before walking away from him.
“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please…. Don’t take my sunshine away” He prayed as tears slipped down his eyes reaching out to you knowing your already far from him. knowing he lost his firstborn hurt
“Daddy! teach me how to dance!” A little you say as Lucifer looked up as a little you held your hand towards him he tried to reached but then you just faded. That little girl was long gone the moment he didn’t take you with him.
#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer x you#lucifer imagine#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel x you
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HII!! Idk if your taking requests rn but if you still do,can you please do Bakugou having a emo gf?? I honestly don't know if you still write mha stuffs, so ignore this if you don't!! 🙏🙏
ღBakugou having an emo gf
ʚCont: Swearing, fem! reader
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a/n hi!! idk if you wanted it to be texts or a oneshots or wtv so i went with headcanons!! and yess i still write for mha, my inbox is open if you get creative ;)) also, my conception of emo might but kinda stereotypical so i apologize in advance!!
Bakugou had an emo phase in middle school and you can NAWTTT change my mind. Now that he´s older and more mature, he´s become closeted about this phase of his. But trust, if he hears any type of emo music, he knows deep down in his soul that he´s jamming to that shit.
That is why, in terms of how aggressive he is with people, emos are at the bottom of the list, including you.
Of course, when you first walked into class he was still the abrasive person he is. Nevertheless, it was clear to anyone who had known him long enough, that he treated you with just a little more respect than he did with others.
You never understood it, but you never questioned it either. What little bit of peace there was with the blonde was to remain untouched and unshattered. That is until Mina whispered ideas into your head that Bakugou had a thing for you. At first, you tried to convince yourself that it was just Mina gossiping as always. But that didn´t mean you weren´t just the slightest bit more aware of Bakugous mannerisms towards you.
During his infatuated phase, though he would rather die than call it that, he had walked past your room only to stop abruptly when the muffled music reached his ears. The rythm of Panic! At The Disco was heard through your speakers, your melodic voice humming the lyrics. He´d be lying if he said he didn´t know the songs by heart. He did.
And despite his embarrassment of people having this knowledge, his gut told him you wouldn´t judge. Hence why he found himself knocking on your door.
"Bakugou? Do you need something?" You ask, not having expected the sudden visit.
Why did he come here again? His throat suddenly felt dry and his tongue heavy.
"I heard your music down the hallway, it´s too damn loud" Smooth Bakugou smooth.
"Oh. Is it? I´ll turn it down"
Just as you turn back around, he abruptly speaks.
"I like it" Well that sounded dumb "The group I mean. It used to be my favorite"
If you weren´t surprised before you sure are now. Yet you didn´t dislike it.
"Really?....Wanna come in to listen?"
The friendship stage was blurry to say the least. Neither of you knew whether you were treading a line between friends or lovers. But it felt right.
The respect he held for you from the beginning grew the more he learned about you. Between all the dumbasses and extras he was surrounded with, you seemed to be the one with the most refreshing mind. Your passions and views about the world amaze him to no end and he finds himself learning from you.
Of course, everyone else could see the palpable tension between you. It was clear as day yet neither of you made a move. It was infuriating and your dear classmates could only take so much before they intervened. Luckily, a small push was all that was needed for things to go smoothly.
They went with the classic plan. Making plans with friends only to end up ditching you and leaving you all alone with your now crush. Bakugou caught on quicker than you did. And while he wanted to strangle the idiots, he knew it was now or never, he had to stop chickening out.
"What are we?" He asks out of the blue while walking back to the dorms. He could feel your eyes on him, but he didn´t turn his head, too scared to look.
"What do you want us to be?" You counterask, your heart inevitably thumping in your chest.
"If I tell you will you still stay?" You can only muster a nod.
"I want us to stop dancing around our feelings. I want to take you out. On a real date"
With a grin, you lean close and place a kiss to his blossoming cheek. "I´ve been waiting for you to ask"
The relationship wasn´t all that different. Rather, it was more like an upgrade. He still does the things he does but now under the claim of being your boyfriend. And yes, he came out of the emo closet, though it was pretty transparent. Don´t tell him that though.
#bnha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugo#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x you#bakugou fluff#mha#bnha x reader#my hero academia#mha bakugou#mha x reader#bnha#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki#katsuki x you#bakugou x y/n#my hero academy fanfiction#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero academia#boku no hero acedamia#my hero imagines#bakugou smut#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki x reader#bnha fic#bnha fanfiction#my hero acadamy#my hero acedamia#skiiyoomin
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male yandere! farmer x fem! spoiled city girl reader [Introduction]
lowkey hate this but I still love the concept.
This is based on an ask I got but since it’ll. e jumbled if I put everything in one post I’ll be posting it in parts so as much as it pains me to say this..no yandere shenanigans in this post<:33
You were spending the summer at a farm and you were absolutely dreading it.
You have been living, in your words, the high life but in your fathers words irresponsibly. Going out every night, partying, spending money on stupid things, and it seemed like you were only interested in going to college because of the parties your classmates host. Frankly, your father has had enough of it.
In the middle of his lecture, he had the bright idea to call up an old friend who owns a farm and ask him for a favor, and from the expression on his face you already knew it was something dreadful.
Turns out it was to have you work for him for the summer. To toughen you up a bit. Teach you some responsibility just so you could be a little more mature when you come back (and maybe not turn him penniless like you're about to with the way you're living).
His friend, which you learned his name was Blaze, didn't mind. In fact, he was happy to have an extra set of hands to help around.
Naturally, you threw a fit. You tried every trick in the book you even gave your best puppy eyes and promised not to spend too much money anymore, you would even stop going to so many parties!
Nonetheless..you ended up packing your bags when the day came.
You slammed the passenger door shut and made your way to the cars trunk to get your bags. You could hear both men exchange warm welcomes and rave over how long it's been.
You roll your eyes. A little more and they'll be going down memory lane over coffee.
Your father turns to you when you make it to his side, his face still pleasantly beaming. It was honestly freaking you out "Ah! honey, say hello to my friend, Blaze. He'll take good care of you here." You offer him a tight-lipped smile and shake his hand. You immediately remove yourself from the conversation as your eyes take in the scenery. A large field you can't even tell where it ends. Within it, a house is close to where you're all standing, not small, not too big while the barn is a little further away. You also see a dark blue truck parked close by. You don't see any of the animals yet. He must have animals right? You wince as you think of dealing with their waste.
And the heat. The heat. You have a small tube top and shorts on which would be lovely back in your city but here it does absolutely nothing to help with the intense heat.
Too distracted by your torment, you don't notice Blaze's eyes glancing in your direction every few seconds as he talks to your father taking in every detail of you. Smooth skin, soft hair, delicate hands that haven't worked a day in their life. He honestly doesn't think you'll last a day.
"Well! I'll be off then." You snap out of your daze "Oh. Okay then." You reply curtly. You're being petty and you don't care "Come now don't have that look on your face, lighten up will you? Don't give Blaze too much trouble" with that he makes his way to the car and you almost tear up watching him drive off.
Blaze clears his throat "Here let me help you with your stuff." He leads the way to his house and already you can tell how awkward this is going to be "I take it you're not familiar with working in a farm?" you only offer a small shake of your head "That shouldn't be a problem, you know I didn't wake up one day and decided to milk a cow. I had to learn and work every day...Not just that but everything else, of course." He clears his throat and you giggle. His shoulders relax a bit upon the sounds. You too enter his house and he sets your luggage down "Right, let me give you a tour, yeah?"
He leads you throughout the entire house, which doesn't take long considering its size, he leaves your room for last "This is where you'll be sleeping, this room doesn't have a lock yet but if you want I can install one for ya." you only nod and head inside and shut the door behind you.
What the fuck?
Blaze blinks then huffs knocking on the door "Hey uh- If you're tired from the trip we can start tomorrow at dawn" He looks down as he patiently waits for your response "Yeah that would be great!" He sighs. He doubts you had plans to start today anyway.
Blaze finally walks away from your door rubbing his neck 'Lets hope this runs by smoothly..'
Turns out, he had..a few things to worry about.
The first day was a pain, for both of you, but he'd argue it was more of a pain for him.
"You do it!"
"I'm supposed to be teaching you." he replies gruffly
"What if she bites my hand off?"
"She's a horse you're not feeding a lion- look just put the carrot closer to her mouth." he guides your hand closer and his heart skips a beat. So soft. Your hands were so soft-
He clears his throat "There, it'll just start eating it, it's fine if a little dribble gets on your hand." You grimace and he clicks his tongue "Oi, stop being a brat, a little drool is the least you should be worried about while working here." You whine "Can I just be in charge of feeding Stella here instead?" He crosses his arms "No can do sweetheart." You only pout and continue feeding the horse not noticing how the corners of Blaze's mouth lift slightly.
You kept running off from your chores to play with Clyde (his dog) and of course, he was chasing you around like a babysitter trying to get you to finish your work.
It was truly a nightmare when you had to clean after the animals. You were gagging, whining, he was honestly convinced you were going to start bawling at that point it was quite amusing.
After that, it seemed you were a bit desensitized from that experience and you were managing the rest of the chores with few complaints but for your sake, he won't mention how he heard you cussing out your father while you were cleaning the barn.
When you were finally done with everything the sun was beginning to set. You wanted more than anything to fall face-first into your bed but you stunk and you desperately needed a shower.
When you're done you open the door only to bump into Blaze "Oh, sorry.' You squeeze past him and continue your way to your room not noticing the shade of red Blaze's face turned in your wake.
His pants tighten and the scent of your shampoo and body wash wafting from the bathroom doesn't help.
Yeah..a few things he has to worry about
#yandere farmer#yandere farmer x reader#yandere farmer x spoiled reader#male yandere#fem reader#introduction fic#yandere oc introduction#yandere oc#yandere blog#yandere x reader#yandere Blaze#Blaze oc#farmer oc#obsessive yandere#yandere fanfiction
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in connection to the previous post about simon/price’s dynamics; do kyle and johnny have similar dichotomies w their loves ?
i love the surge in SoapGaz because we really get to see how insane these two really are together lmao but yeah. charm and obsession is kinda how i see them.
both are intense, bold. their attention makes you feel like a bug under a microscope, but not at first. when it first happens, it's a spotlight. red carpet. dizzying. who wouldn't go a little insane having such an intense, gorgeous man lazer all his focus on them? and the way they do it is fan-ish. an unfathomable concept to wrap your head around until you have a man checking every single box you've ever had, raising the bar to an unreachable height as they shower you with unparalleled attention.
but the problem is, you don't see all the red flags because their personalities blind you to it. a little bit like a tsunami. you don't see the wall looming in front of you when the water recedes because you're too busy staring at the pretty seashells they uncovered for you.
with them, it's all charm, manipulation, and an unhinged obsession to the point where they're not content to simply be with you. they need you rooted so deeply to them that you just can't be without them.
Gaz slowly, steadily breaks down every wall you've ever had and rebuilds it around the two of you. locking you inside. sealing the exit. and you let him. because why wouldn't you?
Gaz is mature. a rock. he's someone who immediately feels untouchable; a phantom in a dream you can't ever seem to catch. but when you finally get him, it's almost fantastical. he's solid. steady. takes everything single thing you throw at him and tidies it up for you. ailments, illnesses. quirks. nothing seems to phase him. there's not a single thing you could try and leverage against him to see if he'll leave because he has an answer to it all. he doesn't mind going to physiotherapy with you. he reminds you to take your pills. gentles you into submission. peels back the layers slowly and examines every single part of you until nothing is without his fingerprints.
Gaz leaves you yearning. there's nothing else after him. no one else.
(and if you happen to slip away, he makes sure of it. stalks you, the people you date. threatens them with a flash of his canines and eyes that look far more wolfish than they should. isolates you slowly. methodically. narrows your world down to just him and ensures you'll come crawling back.
what else is out there for you when he's the Perfect Man? just ignore the stench coming from the closet.)
Soap is tumultuous. a whirlwind. the sirens wail warning you of a tornado but he's already ripped your house apart by the time you hear it. his attention is undivided. blistering. he's too handsome for his own good. too sweet, too. lures you in with roguish charm and devoted from day one. if you met on a dating app, he's deleting it before the first conversation is over. doesn't need it anymore, he says. he found the one. with Soap, it's the most intense relationship you've ever been in. a nonstop marathon of everything: conversations, future plans, sex. he dotes on you, but doesn't treat you like you're made of glass. showers you in affection, attention. makes you feel wanted in every conceivable way.
without him around, you feel dazed. confused. waking up on the beach after falling asleep under the sun. a little sunburn and sick.
and that's how you stay without him. a sigh of relief, at first. the silence is blissful. but then you hit a wall. you stagnant. he's the human version of a serotonin hit and the moment he leaves, you're left feeling empty. sucked dry.
it just makes sense to go back.
they pull you in, strip you bare. wrap themselves around your neck like a boa constrictor but where Soap takes a bite right away and then breaks you down, Gaz plays the long game of slowly coiling around you until it's too late.
#i cut it off because im in a real yappy mood today#and i rambled#i kinda touched on why i think SoapGaz is the worst of the 141 romantically in the baby trap series but blah blah#show dont tell#so this is me telling lmao
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What are your thoughts on who just can't get over their ex-wife? Who is still crying into their pillow each night? Who is obsessively looking for gossip about them and how they are obviously not doing well (and should come back to him)? Who let them go because it was the right thing to do, and yet, they still leave ex-wife's space in the closet set aside like they'll be home at any moment?
AAAAAA OMG!!!!! This gives me a tremendous amount of thoughts omg omg!!!!!!
I can definitely imagine Azul searching for any and all information on you (mostly bad) because he wants to gather more reasons and evidence as to why you should come back to him. He just won't let you go.
Perhaps Vil operates under the similar notion of searching for you online, but it's only because he wants to ensure you're doing well for yourself and none of his fans (or your fans if you're famous as well or have just gained popularity through Vil due to your relationship) are causing you issues. If an obsessive fan comes after you, that gives Vil all the reason he needs to contact you and offer, at the very least, security to look after you until things calm down. Or, if anything else, why not just come back to him for the time being?
Floyd lets you go. He knows that if he was in your shoes he'd hate having to force something that just isn't working no matter how much he wanted it to work. It would be wrong to be selfish. He still leaves the empty space in the closet untouched for you. He still sets out an extra plate and utensils for you when it's mealtime, cooking portions to feed two instead of just one. He leaves your side of the bed made. Even though he knows you're not there, he still calls out to you when he comes home, hoping you'll one day respond. You never do and you probably never will.
Deuce is crying into his pillow. He's so heartbroken. :( he misses you so much and can't believe you're not here with him. He looks at pictures of you saved on his phone and in photo albums and enjoys the good memories that are photographed, but they always make him emotional. He loved you so much (and still does love you).
Riddle,,,,,,, he has no sense of what a "healthy marriage" is because of the poor example his parents set, so in his mind he thought things will improve if he simply forces it to get better. If he tolerates the growing divide between the two of you. Inevitably, that divide grew cavernous and now you're gone. He's torn between picking up the pieces and trying to move on from there and simply holding onto the misplaced hope that you might return eventually. He doesn't touch any of the things that are yours. Even if you still have some belongings left at his place (though he hates calling it his because it's both of yours), he leaves them be as if expecting you to return for them and (hopefully) stay. He still can't get over you and maybe he never will. Riddle doesn't understand the concept of soulmates, but he's certain that, with what limited comprehension he has on the matter, you were something close to that.
Lilia lets you go and from there he looks forward. It does sting and he is upset, but he's mature enough to know that some things just don't work out and it's best not to dwell on that. People drift apart just as easily as they grow old. That is just a facet of life and what it means to be alive. Instead, he holds onto the memories and when he speaks of you it's always with a smile. Though the look in his eyes is wistful, it's obvious he has nothing but fondness for you even in your absence.
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silly little Gunntech Au oc
(ft me about to ramble, be ready yall-)
Soo, I've become obsessed with @elmushterri Gunntech Au (context: Gunntech AU is a AU where the show PJ masks is a show for more mature audiences for teens, think owl house!) They also made a video about this, just look up 'What if PJ Masks' and most likely they're video will pop up first!
(Note I'm using they them pronouns for Elmuehterri cause idk their pronouns and I wanna be respectful-)
And I remember from Elmushterri's video, they mentioned Octobella, and how she could be a failed experiment. Now, I belive Gunntech aren't quitters, so I think they'd try again to recreate what Octobella was supposed to be, and actually succeeded. Thus, introducing my oc....
Kailani 'Kai' Whitlock
Now, I made Kailani here like any other of the PJ masks charater's.
Kailani's dad (who I have not named yet) worked for Gunntech. so when Octobella failed, Kailani's dad offered her as a test subject. And since Kailani wanted to get proper attention from her father she didn't mind. Hence the truama that impacted her
Considering Kailani is a octopus, I had to do a lot of studying. I mean, she has to have some Octopus traits. So I do have some, I shall state it in a list
The first thing I did was give Kailani some height, I tried to atleast. Considering how long octopus's tentacles are, I imagine in replacement, it really long arms and legs, hence her height
2. I Made Kailani colorblind! Octopuses are color blind to, but make up for it with their color changing bodies, odd pupils, color sensing arms, so I'm Applying that to Kailani. Kailani did see color before she was taken in as a test subject, then she became colorblind
3. Google states that Octopuses usually live in tropical areas so I made Kailani born in Hawaii! (She moved though when she was born)
4. From studying, I have found out that Octopuses have three hearts. I don't know if that should be applied to Kailani or not. I'm just going with that her heart is just bigger than most others, so Kailani can be a little more athletic than her peers.
5. Due to the experiments, Kailani's blood is blue (yes, Octopuses actually have blue blood) because of this, Kailani never tries to get hurt. She dosent want to make her dad angry
(Here's a concept sketch of younger Kailani during her test subject days)
as for Personality, I made Kailani very shy. Sure, she's extremely smart for her age, not to mention very creative. Mention something Kailani likes and she'll be willing to yap about it hours on end. However, she has extremely strong loyalty, all she wants is to be accepted and actually loved, so if helping Gunntech means she can earn her father's love, she'll put all of her energy for Gunntech
As how she works for Gunntech, I imagine they call on Kailani if they need someone to be held down or need help moving things (considering with Octopuses strength they can lift more than 700 pounds)
but, when not being a person who could fight someone off, I imagine they'd use Kailani as a strategist. Octopuses are actually very smart, and considering the human mind plus Octopus traits, Kailani would be making or hashing out ideas or theories to take down the 'villans' not realizing she's working for the bad guy.
Anyway, here's her concept suit design
Now I shall relax before I have to suffer at school tomorrow
Edit: I forgot to mention this, but I made Kailani have the hugest crush on Greg (she hasn't made a move cause she's too shy)
Now, if you guys have questions or want to know more about Kailani, I'm glad to give you answers!
#pls ask questions#drawing#artists on tumblr#art improvement#my ocs#drawing oc#sketch#drawing on paper#gunntech au#Gunntech au oc#concept art#artwork#nail art#my art#art study#drawings#illust#pencil sketch#sketches#traditional art#doodle#oc rambling#rambles#ramblings#Fun facts!#I'm obsessed#idk how to tag this
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In art, positive feelings are dumb and negative feelings are smart. This is an association I've noticed in especially online discussions of media, it is an error that has gone uncorrected for entirely too long.
This association is bolstered whenever someone says that you shouldn't criticize the mario movie too harshly because it's "fun" and light frivolous things are self justifying. This association is bolstered whenever people continuously categorize media that makes you feel bad as a strictly adult afair, that anything sad or disquieting or revolting is somehow trying to outsmart you and you're actually very cool & hip for rejecting it in favor of dumb pleasures.
This association leaves two categories of art completely outside of discussion and dying for air. Firstly, art that is joyous and life affirming in a mature and reflective way. It'd seem almost sacrilegious to describe Kiki's Delivery Service as "Wholesome," even though it is such prime comfort cinema there's just so much more to it than that. It's a tangibly adult perspective on the themes it presents. But the "happy=dumb" association is set so deep that nearly all critical discussion about miyazaki's movies is about how pretty and sweet they are. They exist in this category of being overexposed yet somehow still unappreciated.
But then there's the inverse, art that makes you feel like shit in a simple and single minded way. Irreversible is the worst time you can have with a movie, probably, and it (affectionately) has nothing going on under the hood. It's a pain box. This category of art tends to confound folks far more than the previous, it elicits a "what's the point??" usually, or if any concession is made towards allowing uncomfortable art to exist it's with the caveat that it has to "justify" it's discomfort. Simple displeasures don't have the same assumed good faith as simple pleasures. The surface level ways in which a film like Irreversible makes you feel like you've been beat up after it's finished? Not worth mentioning.
There's graver consequences to these two boulder-sized blindspots in artistic conception. Like, because negative emotions are smart, people think that making entertainment out of real life tragedies can be de-facto respectful so long as they make the emotions in their entertainment negative enough. It doesn't matter that Netflix's Dahmer plays defense for the killer and uses the image of black people as a boringly virtuous collection of punching bags to milk tragedy from, if it just makes you feel bad enough, gives the surface level impression of graveness, then it's fine that you're making entertainment out of real life people's personal real life tragedy that still exists in recent memory for many people.
I want to elevate joy, bring it into critical attention, stop taking it for granted. I also want to de-elevate misery, take it off it's false pedestal, let us realize that it's all art. FEELINGS are self justifying, not just good ones.
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Why did Ragatha Change in your Comics? Both in Design and Personality
For those who don't know: Ragatha looked like this before Episode 2
And tbh it's mostly cuz I was to lazy to draw her hair at first. Then I realized "huh... I could just go crazy", created a more Warm color palette to match the tone I was going for, and here we are!
Update: FORGOT TO SAY WHY HER PERSONALITY CHANGED SORRY!! Personality-wise she...kinda? Changed. This was her only appearance pre-Ep 2. If you meant the Pomni change(she acted like this)-
-it's because at the time flustered panicky Pomni was a V cute concept. The "inexperienced Younger having a crush on the mature Older(Younger being at LEAST a 5 year age gap, mind you)" is a fave trope of mine, but since Ep 2 came out the perception changed! I honestly do like the idea of them both being flustered/panicky around eachother (when Pomni Eventually figures it out pfft) but for now it's mostly one-sided attraction (romance-wise anyway, you'll see next month ;3)
#panda's mailbox#Digital Comic Updates#I DO kinda miss how I drew her though it was cute#this ended up being a Ragapom ramble whoopsies#I just love them so much#buttonblossom shipping
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A Matter Of Time (Namjoon x Reader)
Word Count: 6.1k (ish)
Pairing: Namjoon x Y/n
Rating: 18+/Mature/Explicit
Warnings: Unprotected sex, semi-public sex, night sex, flirting, kissing (tongue and other), making out, drinking, missionary sex, cumming on (you), orgasms (yours and his), dirty talk, oral sex (licking, sucking), intense sex, mouth fixation, finger sucking, fantasizing, semi/public nudity, spying/voyeurism (mild), thinking about Namjoon's big cock. Probably missed a few!
Genre: PWP, Strangers to lovers
AUs: Mildly CEO BTS/CEO Namjoon
Summary: It's just a vacation at a beautiful resort. ..And it's just a matter of time until it becomes more.
Author’s Note: for @worldwideseal. Suffer well, dear sis. Purely for escape and sauce. Don't trouble yourself with the hows or gaps in this plot, just enjoy.
Thank you for reading, should you choose to. If you feel like letting me know what you liked with a comment, I'd love to hear. Reblogging is ALWAYS appreciated, but never required.
Tag List: @kiestrokes @askkrisachan
The travel agency had promised so many beautiful scenes. By far, this view outstripped them all. And this was not the result of losing track of time in tropical heat or some sun baked illusion.
This was as real as it got: A man, paused at the bow of a decent sized yacht.
The resort brochure had boats���all shapes and sizes. Certainly ones just like this, but being this close to one wasn’t on your itinerary. But snorkeling was, and you’d been doing fairly well at it.
Right up until you’d come to the surface to snatch a quick breath and saw the form, standing at the boat front. You sunk lower into the water, until only your nose and eyes showed.
Even the wide lens of the snorkel goggles didn’t diminish this impressive silhouette. Especially not such narrow hips. Or the way his body just widened the higher your stare went. You’d never seen a shoulder span like this, or a neck so elegantly long and thick.
He wore a smile as he rolled it right, face upturned to the sun.
Whatever might be on his mind, the man wore no concern, letting the sun wash across his sparkling face. Head to toe, every inch of skin shimmered.
You were certainly close enough to watch a few rivulets trickling down one side of his neck. And admire the way his hair was slicked along his scalp with almost artistic swirls. He ran fingers through a section, head rolling your way.
You snorted. A few bubbles broke the surface in front of your face as you bobbed, legs slowly kicking independent of where your focus was: fully zeroing in on this stranger. He certainly looked content relaxing one hip into the bow rail.
I KNEW I should have brought my camera. It was your best investment yet: a waterproof style that you’d saved a bit to purchase. Snorkeling had a purpose and you’d kicked yourself all morning after realizing the camera was sitting on the bed back at the hotel, unused.
Based on the man preening in silence, the camera’s full potential was going entirely to waste.
Wouldn’t have been a crime to sneak a snap or two of this hunk between shots of clownfish and stingrays. Or coral beds and seaweed.
It got better when you actually noted he wasn’t wearing a stitch. It was all bare skin top to toes. He spent a long time in the sun like this because the only parts a shade lighter were the rounds of his ass.
You had to give it to him, those were the best tan lines you’d EVER seen. Following the down slope of his abdomen, you caught the peek of familiar shape. Thick and bare. Your eyes popped as your gaze dragged to the other end of the boat, finding letters, painted immaculately in black with fleur-de-lis shapes accenting.
Fanta-sea
That’s cute. You had a passing concept of boat names, knowing enough that they were usually clever, humorous, or even punny at times. This name suited the owner. As far as you were concerned, he met the definition of a fantasy.
Foremost yours but who even KNEW how many other women. There was no way on God’s green earth this man was here without company. And if he was? A resort this nice would soon fix that.
You took an unabashed eyeful of the man's ass when he turned away, readily deciding this was the choicest ass you’d ever seen. What you’d managed to see of his front was surpassed only with this angle. He was blessed with long legs and hamstrings defined by sections of tight muscle.
It was truly a delight for the eyes as he strolled towards the bridge, then ducked through an open door there. With him gone, your shoulders surfaced and tension ebbed away. That didn’t stop your lips trembling.
“Jesus..”
Yes, you’d been floating out here for a while, finally accustomed to the temperature, but now a chill ran the length of your body. Skin prickled against the flow as you began a sluggish dog paddle, heading for the shore.
Although you’d started further down from where the yacht floated, it was hard to believe you’d missed it this easily. Every stroke against the current, you tried not to look back. Tried not to think about how he looked. How long he might be staying and was it the same resort?
For now, he seemed to be alone. There’d been no telling giggle, or signs of anyone else there to share the space and the view. No other body sprawled out on the deck, soaking up sunlight. That lack just added more questions to a rapidly growing list.
First and most pressing of all: What is his name?
The second followed just as doggedly, sinking claws into your brain: How could I even meet this guy?
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The ‘how’ came about all on its own, when you stood at the bar, watching the bartender pouring your drink. Until this moment, you’d been all too fixated on how close he could get to the top and not spill a single drop.
Just beyond the bartender’s left side, you noticed the stare. It wasn’t that you’d gotten to really see the face clearly, but you didn’t need to.
The shoulders were enough, even stressing the crisp white shirt of the form leaned against the bar, directly across the way.
And your confusion dimmed the lazy jazz and island fused beats down to a thrum as his stare held. You found the barstool suddenly so preciously high with both feet swinging inches off the floor.
Your fingers gripped the bar edge as you watched the man stand and make his way around. When he did, you knew that body, even a layer of clothing on.
With a warm evening breeze playing through your hair, your eyes followed the white, linen shirt approaching. It fluttered around the man’s chest as he braced an elbow into the counter next to your left side.
His smile had one dimple and the very subtle shadow of a second on the other cheek. The neon signs above the bar reflected in his curious stare. Both dark brows twitched up.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” At least you managed to speak up. Although the resort bar wasn’t packed at this hour, it was easy to hear your racing heart. The pace was much more than when you’d been kicking through the waves to chase exotic fish or explore coral reefs. And the view, even better.
A glass slid nearer. The man glanced there, then came back to your face. “Yours?”
As you lifted the glass the contents shivered briefly. Your lips met the rim with a responsive “Mmhmm.”
“Are you here alone?” He was moving along, another temperate breeze washing around you both. He wasn’t afraid to ask what you’d wondered earlier. You were beyond certain that this WAS that same man.
Your skin felt alive. It wasn’t just tropical heat, and it would soon be moving to other places. Several, ready to respond as intended around a good looking man like this.
You gulped down a mouthful of fruity coolness, hoping a little liquid courage would go a long way. Especially with your mind full of nothing but the recall of this man’s bare ass and smiling face, soaking up the sun hours ago.
But do you admit that? How could someone even approach that kind of thing? You couldn’t very well say ‘Yes I saw you naked, on a boat. No big deal..’ It wasn’t exactly a nudist resort here and he probably didn’t even think anyone would see as far down the beach as you’d gone.
It must have been written all over your face, because the man’s head inclined as his expression devolved into a cheeky grin. “What is it?”
“I’m alone.” You replied. His stare intensified, his upper body inching closer,closing off space for the breeze roiling its way down the bar, heading at you both again. Your skin was starting to get clammy.
“Is there something else?”
“..No.” Your eyes moved to the glass, sweating on the counter nearby and your nails drumming the wooden bartop. Out of beat and tapping the nail points in a nervous staccato.
He didn’t break eye contact. “I’m here alone too. How rare do you think that is?”
“Not that rare.” You ventured.
There was no way to really know, but you hadn’t missed the pairs and groups of people wandering around in the previous days. The beach was riddled with goers, all laughing and communing around you and your lone towel, umbrella pitched at an angle as you squinted into a book and sucked down a mimosa for a few hours.
It wasn’t a bad thing, but it wasn’t like you’d been able to say you were having the MOST fun you could have. You had plenty of things to do and a partner or friends would just drag your schedule down.
“I think it’s interesting, anyway.”
While he was facing the bar and ordering a drink, you studied his face. The man’s skin had become dewy. The sheen went all the way down into the space at the top of his shirt. This wasn’t like ocean water evaporating in the midday sun rays.
This was a muggy summer sweat, which ALSO suited him well. It was getting hard to ignore the darker spots starting to appear where the sweat concentrated most, at the center of his broad chest.
He turned back with a glass in hand, raised it, then sipped, you spoke up with fingers circling your own glass. You didn’t sip. The glass never even left the bar.
“You’re here on that tour package–Island Escape?” It didn’t hurt to ask. “...I am. It was a great deal. Once in a lifetime thing, you know?” You added. Now felt like the right time to lay out your purpose for setting foot on these beautiful grounds, and it'd save him the trouble of asking.
He smiled again. “I’m more the self guided tour type.”
“You travel a lot?” Alone, hopefully.
The man nodded. You smoothed hair from your neck, winding the sweat dampened strand around one finger.
“Is it for work or…” Your voice trailed off. Bare toes curling, you came off the bar seat and went to the balls of both feet. You shouldn’t yield to the pressure pushing up from inside your hips, but there was every incentive NOT to ignore it.
“..Or something.” The man’s lids lowered perceptibly, watching you over the glass as he took another long sip, then set it down, entirely facing you.
Something about that was so satisfying, despite being overwhelmed. KNOWING he was looking at you, versus you looking at him–with him unaware–was an entirely different ball game.
“How often do you take these trips?” The man asked.
“Let’s start with the important question.” You retorted, a smile breaking out. He mirrored it, showing just how perfect his teeth were too.
“Hmm?”
“What’s your name?”
His head dropped with a chuckle, making both shoulders dance and drooping the shirt front lower. Giving a clear-as-day view of the tight valley between his pecs. And hints of muscle there, judging by the shadows playing. Your throat clenched.
“Yes, we SHOULD get that out of the way. A nagging detail, but probably important. I’m Namjoon.”
After he said his name, he held out a hand. You found his grip warm and measured as he pumped your hand but didn’t let go first. You wanted to hold it all night, but reluctantly pulled your hand back and rested it palm down on your thigh, feeling the heat through your gauzy skirt.
“I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you, Namjoon.”
Namjoon’s head bowed deeper this time, then he looked towards the resort, watching people further away. There were more couples. Somehow the attendance doubled between when you’d gotten here and when he’d come over. It wasn’t like anyone here knew you’d stumbled upon this man hours ago, when you’d seen him in a most intimate way–birthday suited and sun drenched.
For all you knew, this resort had a nudist beach portion. There was plenty to discover and you only had a handful of days. You’d only begun to check off a full list of activities, none of which stimulated below the belt.
Until tonight.
“You’ve been here a little while?” Namjoon asked, stepping closer. Standing that much closer. Within reach, more so than he’d been before. Unspoken respect, but that didn’t mean you weren’t more tempted to reach out and touch.
Underneath your skirt, the heat was becoming too much. So was the ache that was gnawing through you.
“A couple days.” You agreed.
“Me too. It’s nice this time of year.”
“Is that your..boat?”
Namjoon’s brows shot up again, then pinched briefly. “My boat?” He looked good, even feigning confusion, eyes shining playfully.
“Yes.” You puffed a little. “Out there in the water–I saw it earlier.”
“When?” He asked.
“Today. I was snorkeling and I saw it….saw you.” Fire clawed up your neck. Namjoon caught the flutter in your lids and lowered his own more. He took a brief bite of his lower lip, then scoffed.
“Did you? What was the name on the boat?”
“Fanta-sea, I think.” Don’t think. I KNOW. And Namjoon KNEW that you knew. His face came a little closer.
“Yeah. That’s my yacht. Didn’t think anyone would be on the section of beach, down that far. Usually it’s empty.”
Usually? You swallowed hard. “You’ve been there before?” Surely he meant the day before, or earlier than that.
“This time of year, yes. Other times it’s pretty packed. I try to avoid it in the dead of the season.”
“Season.” You echoed. Clarity was coming, rapidly. He wasn’t talking about it as a season vacation package-goer. This was so much more.
“Mmhm. Travel season. When vacationers overrun this resort. It’s not too bad right now. But there are times..” He didn’t finish, chuckling. When he grew quiet you stared into his eyes. And he looked deeper into yours, stirring something that had your walls twitching.
“Sounds rough..” You managed.
You wanted to finish the rest of your drink but you were certain the glass would smash to the ground if you tried to pick it up right now. Instead, Namjoon pushed the glass further out of reach, following the bar top towards your hand. His fingers lightly rode the knuckles on the back of that hand.
“Y/n..” He was solemn as another breeze wrestled the shirt around his body. Your thinned lips refused to release any kind of affirmative sound—not that he needed it to continue. “..Have you ever been on a yacht?”
Your head shook.
“I want you to see mine. Come with me?”
You wanted more than that. You wanted Namjoon, just as you’d seen him earlier, except bathed in moonlight, naked under your gaze. If you could be guaranteed a chance at that….
Once again, he must have read the desire telegraphing in microexpressions across your face when he took your hand, fingers laced easily through. He tugged you closer, staring down his nose.
“Know you didn’t come here to see a boat, but trust me. It’ll be worth it.”
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You’d managed a few indulgences in your time on this planet–the occasional spa day with your closest friend. A nice dinner with your parents. A birthday shopping spree at the best stores on the rich end of town.
Stepping foot on a yacht wasn’t quite on your list, but not for the reason you’d assumed. Where you lived wasn’t close enough to a beach or convenient to fly to without sinking a whole day in and out of airports and planes.
But this trip came with bonuses that checked the lux yacht experience off your list after inking it right at the top.
Stepping onto Namjoon’s yacht proved it was even BETTER from on board than it had appeared floating in the ocean and stone’s throw away. Even with just the moonlight painting the finely finished wood deck.
The surface was cool under your feet as you paused away from the ladder and slipped off your flats. You laid them next to Namjoon’s shoes, arranged neatly side by side, then followed him as he moved towards the beam, where the yacht seemed to be widest. You could spin around, arms wide and never hope to hit a single thing–in fact ALL of your closest friends could do that very same thing with that guarantee.
Namjoon had turned, watching your big eyes roaming with a measured smirk. Slowly his arms crossed at his chest.
“View better from up here, hmm?” The wind was stronger here, and a bit cooler, coming off the water and the rocking of the yacht wasn’t noticeable as you’d expected. It was more an imperceptible sway.
“It’s beautiful.” You marveled.
Eventually your attention found its way to Namjoon, the darkness around consuming the taller portions of the ship, disappearing into the shadows if you squinted up or in any direction too far.
Not that it mattered.
This man standing just in sight, chest expanded, and the wind teasing his shape through whipping fabric was the best, most breathtaking view of them all. You weren’t even sure you’d noticed any stars in the sky as you gazed at Namjoon’s beaming smile.
“When you saw me today….What was I doing?” A step brought Namjoon close again and you braced, leaning into the soft tilt you could feel in your senses as a wave rolled the giant yacht body a little.
“Just…standing here.” You replied, skimming back more hair as it spilled forward over your shoulder, dragged by the wind. You knew he was watching that action, his eyes roving in matching directions.
“Standing here?” He glanced down. “I don’t think it was here.”
You held back a giggle.
“Obviously not there.” You looked around, nodding towards the bow of the boat. “There… I think. It was hard to tell from down in the water but…I saw enough.”
“Did you?” He moved by you, but had your hand as he did, pulling you closer to the railing. You didn’t end up there, but you could see down into the water from the nose of the boat well enough. You had a sense of somewhere, in that dark ocean below, that he’d be lying to say he hadn’t seen you floating there–even as vast as the ocean was.
The water was too clear and calm earlier. And your bright pink snorkel set stuck out like a sore thumb, but you said nothing, combing back more hair on the other side, tucking it behind that ear.
Namjoon released your hand. His feather lite touch grazed your chin.
“I was standing near here.. Hmm?” You nodded, watching him do the same a little, fingers circling your chin. Pressure came as he squeezed softly, pulling the rounded shape up faintly. “..Just doing nothing?”
You managed another nod, grateful he didn’t let go.
“...What else did you see?”
“What do you mean?” You breathed. That building feeling that had nestled and filled up your pelvis became a massive, pulsing ache. There wasn’t a single, undisturbed nerve there.
“I think you can tell me.”
Whatever had compelled you to keep staring like earlier today, treading water, or across the bar during Namjoon’s approach, it was bigger than everything right now.
It kept you from breaking eye contact and prevented any lie from growing roots.
“..Nothing.” Your tongue swept your lips and the wind sucked the moisture away in a blink.
“..You weren’t wearing anything.”
Namjoon’s face relaxed as his brows shifted as he nibbled his lip longer this time. “And what did you think of that?”
It wasn’t like you’d never seen a man naked. In your life you’d seen PLENTY of them. All shapes and sizes, but none like Namjoon. None had hit you so directly in the center of your need.
“I liked it.”
“I liked being naked. It’s freeing.”
You squeaked. It meant something, but you didn’t have time to figure out what. Namjoon’s thumb pried your lower lip down as he leaned towards you. His lips opened just a little. Dizziness rushed to your head as you swooned towards his approach.
At the last minute he stopped, the touch of his lips a silky heat as he spoke into your parted lips.
“Did you like what you saw?”
“Yes.” You whined. “Your body is—”
“Mmnnn..” He dragged his lips across yours for a peck and pulled back just so, again. “Be naked with me? I think you’ll find it’s liberating here.”
“Here?” You blinked, feeling your lips sinking around his thumb as he fed the tip past your lips.
“Yes. Out here. On my yacht. On the deck. Under the stars. Are you here to enjoy yourself and do what you want? I am.”
You didn’t answer, lips still tight around his finger, until it popped free from your latch. You chased it a little until Namjoon seized your chin again and leveled his stare on you, nose to nose.
“Y/n..” His tone dropped a level, dragged across gravel. Serious, to match his unflinching gaze. “What did you want when you saw me naked?”
Where could you even start? You went with the first thing your brain and loins demanded in unison.
“I wanted to feel you.” Confession felt so good, the heat spilling up out of your mouth as you spoke. Namjoon leaned his front into you, letting you get a good sense of his body. And it was exactly as firm and muscled as it looked from that big, deep blue world below.
You went about as wet too, right at your seal. Your nipples perked and you moaned when his chest dragged your top across the newly woken points.
Namjoon cradled one hip, then gathered the hem of your shirt, guiding it up your side. The other hand did the same, bringing your top to your breasts, peeling it away. Along with the bra underneath, he dropped both to the deck.
Smiling, Namjoon pulled your hands to his hips and nodded. “Go ahead. Help me out?”
This was really happening.
All the questions and pondering that had been building all day long and simmering all night were now about to find a happy realization. Fruition, in the form of your fingers, under Namjoon’s shirt, pushing rough and fast. He did the rest at his shoulders, hauling the garment off. It went right to the ground, atop yours.
Without speaking, your fingers walked the waist of his bottoms, finding them just like his shirt: a lighter material and quickly off his body. He kicked them clear after you stood up. Without waiting, his hands guided your skirt down.
As the stretching waistband widened and rolled down your hips, Namjoon mouthed over your bare belly. You moaned, listening to the sound carried away by the salty breeze. It didn’t matter–what mattered was how good this felt.
The water lapped the hull as Namjoon’s lips pressed into your skin. He tugged a bit of skin below your navel, shuffling your panties down last. When his open mouth found your pussy, your thighs shook and you melted down against his face.
Namjoon was ready, jaw flexing as his hands caught your hips, lifting you enough. His tongue dove against your folds, spreading you with a few long, firm licks. From the way his moan rattled your mound, he was more than pleased with the taste.
The stars you barely made out winking in the sky overhead, faded again as your eyes rolled shut when Namjoon pulled your clit tight between his lips. And sucked, deep. Hard. Pulsing his lips with a suction that didn’t falter.
It went on for some time until you felt like everything was flowing down, out of you. Your senses finally came back enough to groan his name as fingers scraped his scalp. Twisted hair through your fingers, tugging him closer, then trying to pull him away.
Namjoon wrestled himself free with a dulcet sigh. “You taste…so good…” He swabbed your slick from his lips in a lick, then palmed your ass. “...Lay down for me, baby..”
The deck was exactly as smooth as it'd been under your soles, when back and ass met it. No sooner and Namjoon went to hands and knees, then stroked both palms down the insides of your thighs to guide them apart and settled between. One leg he draped along the inside of an arm, the other he pushed up and out, angling the knee to widen you.
Opening you at the very center, wind spilling over slick coated skin. It felt good, but that didn’t last long. The gnawing emptiness was back and your hips twisted as you whimpered. The very last thing on your mind was the devilish details.
Small things, like what Namjoon said next.
“Y/n…You okay with raw?”
I shouldn't. So why do I WANT to? Vacations were about being care free, but this was about as far from sensible as you'd ever been. ...And every fiber said you WANTED it. Right-wrong-whatever, let it sweep you up.
Your palm struck wood, then dragged with a squeal of damp skin and sting of friction. Breasts jerked and rose higher as you arched. Impatience went right down to the center of your soul.
“Yes..” You gasped. “..Just want you.. Please… fill me up.”
Namjoon’s gripped cock drew close and he swept the head right up your center, coating the blunt end. You wanted to wither at the way he moaned in surprise. It wasn’t long before he guided his tip right against your opening.
A palm thumped against the deck, bracing right next to your hitched knee. The other arm bent, keeping your other draped leg angled shamelessly high. Then Namjoon slid inside. It was relief at first, as you stretched around his shaft. Then it was sweet pain as he sank deeper, stretching you more.
Your ass wiggled when Namjoon pulled back. Pushed in, with a single, firm body roll. He slid back out, then plunged again, this time falling immediately into a steady pump. He had a stroke that said he knew what to do with himself.
And how to take care of the perky tightness that was developing the more he thrust. Your fingers started at his forearms, circling there, then nails touched skin, sinking in, then dragging higher with a low moan. Your body shook with the impact, then gyrated counter to Namjoon’s marching pace.
“You feel so…tight. God..” He snarled, snapping hips harder. Less gentle, his head went back. The stars were back, under your lids, and when they opened, the shining started on Namjoon's skin.
Underneath your bare ass and back, the deck was alive with sound–you shifting up inch by inch with the power packed into each forward driving motion. Namjoon was heading quickly towards pounding and it was opening a pit of pleasure under your belly. Your walls gave a massive clench and chills washed over you.
An orgasm was right there, about to hit you hard. Your cocked knee recoiled more, snapping in place over Namjoon’s hip. The other heel sank into his back. Both climbed higher as he grunted. Added force. Barreled into you–through you. Waves of pleasure built on top of each other inside you.
Another dizzying rush and you barely gasped out “That’s it…Namjoon—” before it all hit you at once. Struck you dumb in a full body convulsion. His instroke faltered as you seized around him, clinging so hard onto his biceps that he shuddered. It must have hurt, but you couldn’t be bothered to notice.
You couldn’t help anything you did,except let out a high pitched shriek of relief. However far that carried, it wouldn’t be a surprise if it reached the shore. You’d taken more than enough time at 7 knots, getting further and further offshore, rising and boring through inky waters, deep into the approaching night.
And it led to this: you, under Namjoon, his cock stabbing relentlessly into you as he went on after a short reprieve. Enough that he could pummel you again, taking his own turn. Your nails slid through moisture again.
Had to be more sweat developing faster than the wind could wick away, but that was fine. Your pussy was ultra wet, just tight enough he could get away with more force. More depth. And it sounded so good. You were helpless to do much but lay here. Taking it with eyes bleary and fixed on a far away point of light. A single, white point blinking in the distant horizon.
And you, rocking against the final thrusts. Rocking like the waves against the ship’s hull, giving away as it was meant to: You, wet and pliant, melting around Namjoon with his last plunge in, before he pulled out and brought himself upright, head thrown back. His shaft speared once more through five tightly circled fingers, then the spurt of cum splashed onto your belly.
Hitting higher, shot by shot until he created a decent, milky pool between your shivering breasts.
It was just like that moment you’d seen him on the bow–under the golden sun. A mirrored moment, but bathed in white of the moon’s delicate aura now. Head craned, lines in his neck strong, taut skin aglimmer again. And like earlier, it pulled you in entirely. You couldn’t look away, eyes barely open, adrift in the afterglow.
Namjoon had to be proud of the sight: sweat and his load, mixed on your chest and torso. He openly admired, then his shoulders dropped. Eventually he leaned over you. In spite of however much effort he’d just put out, Namjoon was still just as careful laying against you with his full body weight.
His weary smile wasn’t lacking any satisfaction. A dreaminess painted his moon washed features. You found it easy to get lost, admiring in silence as he gathered thoughts then spoke.
“...God.. you’re…” That was YOU, robbing an obviously well spoken man of the coherency he was accustomed to. Probably even KNOWN for in his daily and professional life. I did that. And fuck does it feel AMAZING. If the girls back home only knew…
Not that you’d ever tell.
“Mmmm..You…didn’t want to finish inside me?” Was that really pouting in your tone? Were you really too fucked out to question yourself or hide it?
Namjoon chuckled, looking down at your breasts, and further, getting a much closer look at the chaos he’d left behind. The verdict was in–he was quite impressed at the handiwork.
“You didn’t ask.” When he dragged fingertips through his fluids on your belly, then headed for your mound, your hips lifted. His hand pulled back just before he reached what you were offering all over again. “..Mnnnngg…Good aim and distance.”
“You’d cum inside me if I wanted?”
Namjoon looked at you again,from under lowered brows, wearing a questionable smirk. “I’d consider it. Not the brightest move if we’re strangers.”
“Neither is condomless sex. Or sex on a boat, in the open ocean air.”
“Sex on the beach is an option too, Y/n. The night is still young and I know a stretch of beach that’s empty for SURE this time.”
“God..” You began. Delight tightened everything inside. Although you’d just cum, the body was quickly recovering and the mind was more than willing to meet this man’s unflagging energy. “..Namjoon..” you gasped, turning your face when shyness caught up for a moment.
He wasn’t letting that feeling gain any traction,bringing his face close, angling for a kiss. Ultimately soft, exploring your mouth lightly with his tongue. When yours flirted past his lips, he sucked the tip and you squeezed around nothing, drowning in a moment of pure desire. The kiss was over all too soon, and Namjoon was sitting up onto his knees.
“Let’s go below deck. Clean up and change.” He’d already begun indiscriminately collecting clothing, pausing to dab away the more plentiful globs he’d left behind on your chest and belly.
“Does that mean we’re heading back to shore?”
Namjoon sighed. “..Eventually, we have to.”
He WAS right, but you didn’t want to just yet. Not tonight and maybe not until tomorrow afternoon. It was much different enjoying the ocean being out on, rather than splashing hundreds of feet offshore or laying out on a towel in the sand.
Namjoon detected the concern in a pinch between your brows. “What’s wrong?”
“Does ‘eventually’ mean…now?”
“Not if you don’t want it to. I don’t…Is that okay?”
Relief felt as cool as the night air racing across your thighs and breasts. The puddled fluid on your skin was rapidly becoming distracting for different reasons: a persistent reminder of the temperature falling around you as the night wore on.
“Yes.” You smiled as he took your hand and brought you to your feet. Even entirely naked, you suddenly didn’t care much. It was a nice surprise. In the past, nudity hadn’t been the easiest for you. A vacation from that hang up was a bonus.
Standing face to face, Namjoon watched you for a moment. And you gazed up, remembering the moment you saw his eyes, around the bartender. You hadn’t done much and it hadn’t been long, but you felt different enough to ensure you’d come back from this trip a changed person.
“Let’s get settled. Sleeping on a yacht in the ocean…It’s like a waterbed. Best sleep of your life..” There was no need to promise. Namjoon had already guaranteed it. From the pleasant and relaxing heaviness seeping through every limb, this would be the most refreshing night of sleep you’d had in a long time.
And when it came to vacations and resorts, this would lead the pack for a long time too.
----------------------------------------------
You buckled the lap belt long before the flight leveled out and reclined back into your seat. It was routine. Everything, going off without a hitch. At the airport reasonably early. Breezing through security. And now, perfectly situated–magazine on your lap. Earplugs prepped for insertion. Carry on tucked under your seat. Your final step in the ‘routine’ was a look out the window.
Cruising altitude was a few minutes away, but peeking out the small window to your left, you could see it all easily enough.
The island. Large, pale squares of the resort’s most prominent buildings. Even the darker red clay tiles of the resort bar. Where your best night had begun. Better than the hikes. Better than the tours of the ancient landmarks.
And out there, at the shoreline, the thin white trail of the waves rushing at the shore line, then ebbing away as they slid back to where they’d come: the vast and endless ocean. You couldn’t make out figures on the beach anymore, from this high up.
And because of that, you knew looking for Namjoon was fruitless, until the moment you saw it: his ship there, anchored further down the shore, opposite from where you’d found him. A single, elongated white shape, alone on the blue.
For a moment a pang of sadness filled you dangerously to the top, bringing a brief heat to your eyes, but you blinked it away, smiling against the thick plastic of the window. You focused on his boat for a bit longer, then shut the window shade.
It was how you needed to leave things: the last sight should be what had made the most impact in your memory: Namjoon and his smile as he let your hand go first this morning. Early–just before the sun was fully out, sweatshirt shapeless on your form, eyes puffy from sleep but still struggling to drink him in so close.
And what he’d said–that he’d see you again... How did you know?
Show and prove came in the form of a text with a link. When you clicked it brought up a calendar with Namjoon’s name. There wasn't much detail beyond dates and locations--blocks of color hashing out days at a time.
Whoever Namjoon was here at the resort, beyond the boundaries and back in daily life, he was regimented. Private. Very secure. Protective of his time and much, much more.
Those walls were high but for a few hours he'd given you a peek over. This text brought them down again--something you had a feeling did not come easy or often.
He meant what he said. 'I'll see you again.'
Scrolling forward through his calendar, for a few months from now, you knew exactly when. Your mind was already doing the math farther ahead. Finding that perfect alignment.
All you had to do was pick a date and fly there. From here,and no matter how far apart you were, it was just a matter of time.
#namjoon x yn#kim namjoon x y/n#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x reader#kim namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#you x namjoon#resort adventures with namjoon#exotic travel namjoon x you#s2l namjoon#s2l yn x namjoon#s2l y/n x namjoon#s2l reader x namjoon
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While I'm ancient-trio-posting, wanna hear a bit about their dynamic?
Hythlodaeus and Hades are old friends, roommates, even. A genuinely mature, established couple. I haven't really thought too far back in time yet, so maybe childhood friends to lovers because no one else in my story has this trope yet. I leave it open-ended for now. What matters is that they're very chill and stable together.
Azem, not-yet-Azem but a mere apprentice of Venat, has a certain secret, harmless to the world, but potentially ranging from laughable, cringy, personally embarrassing to legally punishable, should it be brought in front of the Convocation, like all lies it's doomed to be revealed in time, he already hangs out with one of the Big People and there are talks about Venat's retirement, our little not-yet-Azem feels like he might get recommended, and must find help with his silly secret before that.
Hythlodaeus, Chief of the Bureau of the Architect, has ever been kind and patient with not-yet-Azem's concept submissions, and generally seems like a reliable and open-minded person, so our guy asks for his advice on the matter. Of course he isn't let down, the nitty gritty of it I'll leave for later. The important part: he and Hyth grow closer, and Hades, already being joined at the hip with Hyth, is in on the secret as well. It's just a vulnerability that I use as a means to win over Hades's heart. Be genuine, beg for his help, rely on him, and he's yours.
Venat retires, the new Azem takes the seat, his secret's safe/resolved (forget about it, it's played its role of the glue for our trio), things are chill for a while, the trio grows into a proper throuple, Hades is recommended for the seat of Emet-Selch by both his lovers, but by Azem most ardently (and selfishly: he feels like a white crow among the Convocation and wants another freak on the team. Hades finds it sweet though).
The status quo moves to the known canon where Azem travels a lot, sometimes summons his buddies to his side, he tends to disappear from Amaurot for weeks and months on end, Hyth and Hades are left to themselves, seemingly things are the same as they've always been, but the joy of reuniting with their wayward lover, and the pining when he's gone, is bigger in Hades than Hyth. Of course they, the two mature people holding hands from the beginning of times, don't discuss this.
Azem may not even realize what he's doing- well, ain't that most azems in a nutshell. He just exists, loves his partners, shines for them with equal warmth like sun. It's not that Hyth doesn't like being sunkissed, no, it's Hades who gets a bit too excited, tries to mask that however he can, perhaps HythHades pretend that nothing's changed, but, yknow, subtle cracks. Hades's heart grows more fond due to the time and distance that separate them so often. Of course he's terrified and he sees what this does to the balance of their poly, it's not welcome, but it won't go away.
Enter Hyth's self-esteem issues, and how neatly that weaves into his following sacrifice to bring forth Zodiark. Even though Azem's nowhere to be seen, it's fine, he'll return, it's just a tantrum, the Convocation will forgive him, Hades will be left in good hands, he and Azem seem to be happier without Hyth anyway. (no, no, no, no-) Of course, the latter's left unsaid, only a smile on display and vague words of affirmation for the shellshocked Hades.
Through the sacrifice Hyth drives up his value. He's forever important to Hades now, forever on his mind, his guiding star. I view Hyth's selfless act as selfish too (just as Raha's but he isn't relevant here), a desperate act of a soul not only loving, but desperate for love. Hyth gets what he wanted. In a fucked up way, he's happier as a part of the moon. He never has to contend with the sun again.
#the trio stuff's still wip because i only started thinking about them half a year ago after falling for emet#and through him i finally connected to azem who legit didn't exist until this year#he has a bit of lore and flavor now but i think it's best delivered within the comic i hope you look forward to it#sorry for not even telling his name lmao#azem#hythlodaeus#emet-selch#emet selch#hythazemet#text post
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OKAY so Yandere! Lute concept (Hazbin Hotel)!!!
I hope she gets more scenes in Season 2... whenever that is. @okchijt helped me with ideas!
Yandere! Lute Concept
(FT. Enabler! Adam)
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Strict yandere, Discipline, Violence, Mature themes, Overprotective behavior, Isolation, Toxic behavior, Dubious relationship.
The biggest part of Lute's yandere behavior would be how strict she is.
Compared to Adam, she's the most responsible one.
She's ruthless, stoic, sadistic, ambitious...
All traits of a skilled Exorcist.
Lute is loyal to heaven and uncompromising, so I imagine her obsession is most likely a soul from heaven.
She has a hatred towards demons of all types, which means she wouldn't be very fond of a demon obsession.
Same might go for a fallen angel obsession, seeing you as a disgrace to heaven.
Although... a fallen angel darling does sound like it would make good enemies to lovers....
She has the ability to care for others, as shown with Adam, but most of the time she's rather stoic.
Even towards her obsession she's not very emotional.
Her lack of emotion comes with her job...
Which is why it baffles her when she feels herself go soft around you.
I imagine Lute isn't good with romance.
She seems like she'd act like she doesn't like her obsession... but when pressed she cracks.
For example, Adam no doubt notices Lute's attraction to you.
You're (for this concept) an angel, doesn't matter if you're an exorcist or not.
Adam can see the looks Lute keeps giving you.
He's familiar with such looks... yet he finds it amusing when Lute gives them to you.
As expected... Adam gives crude comments, irritating Lute.
"Woah, got a lady boner for that one, huh?" Adam grins, seeing Lute shake in annoyance.
"Shut up, that is not what's going on!"
"I mean... can't say I blame you. That one's quite a piece of work... Are you sure you aren't interested?"
"Yes, Adam, I am...."
"Cool! I don't mind scoring that one!"
"You will NOT."
"Hah! So... you admit it, huh? You're Infatuated."
"...."
Adam is definitely going to be a pain for Lute.
Especially if she's in denial about her fondness for you.
She... She doesn't like you like that....
Yet Adam keeps making crude comments and innuendos to mess with Lute.
"Seriously, Lute... Just talk to them. You're distracted."
"...."
Even when Lute tries to be closer and talk to you, it's like she struggles to talk to you.
She doesn't know what to say, yet she doesn't want Adam ruining this.
The last thing she needs is Adam making some intimate comment to scare you away.
Lute likes your presence, but isn't sure how exactly to approach her feelings.
Most of the time you'll find the other angel hovering around you.
Whenever you try to talk, she hesitates and gives small answers.
Thank God she has a mask on... She looks like a fool.
She's very unlike Adam's perversion and constant crude behavior.
She's reserved, responsible, and protective of her obsession.
If you are also an Exorcist, she's protective of you during training and Exterminations.
She doesn't care if others or herself bleeds
As long as you're fine, she could care less.
Overall she's protective, feeling that's the only way to properly vent her feelings.
Adam can try to help her show how much she cares, but it truly is a struggle for her.
If you aren't an Exorcist, her constant presence is strange.
She's unnerving to be around at times.
Yet even you can tell she cares... somewhat.
Her short responses become increasingly more irritated with time... to the point you think you did something wrong.
You didn't, you didn't do a thing.
It's just that Lute is irritated with herself for feeling such feelings for you and can't comprehend how you make her an internal mess.
She can't stop thinking about you.
This is most likely the first time she's felt such away.
So, reluctantly, she goes to Adam for advice.
She has no idea how to court.
And Adam's way of courting is... dirty.
Once Lute begins trying to accept her feelings, she's controlling with her obsession.
She attempts flirting, but immediately dislikes it.
Adam no doubt keeps supporting Luke through her obsession, regardless of how she courts you.
Lute is very controlling, expecting loyalty and obedience from her obsession.
If she doesn't get that... She may have to force it.
Lute isn't the sweetest... but she isn't cruel with you.
She'll discipline you but not overdo it.
To her it's a dominance thing, isolating you to get the point across.
She won't physically hurt you.
You just need to learn you're hers... That you shouldn't disobey....
When you do learn... She'll praise you.
Even when she confesses to you, it's not really a suggestion.
It's a demand.
"You. Me. Together. Now."
She admits her feelings like it's your responsibility to accept.
It leaves you stunned... the fact her confession feels more like an order.
But it gets the point across, doesn't it?
She isn't the most comforting as a yandere.
While she starts shy and unsure at first... over time she's more demanding with you.
She's a soldier, she has that kind of discipline.
For the most part you have your freedoms.
But Lute is your partner.
You can't neglect that fact, she and Adam won't let you.
The fact that Adam helps Lute with her obsession doesn't make things easier for you.
Since they're so close Adam is going to encourage you both to stick with one another.
He keeps saying how Lute is best for you, that her type of love is just... rough.
But, no worries, she certainly loves you!
She's possessive in the way of being jealous.
Except she's mostly quiet about it, most likely telling Adam about it so he can make a big deal about it.
Kidnapping would not happen due to how Heaven works, same thing with murder.
Although... Lute is quite capable of murder... which is what makes her so intimidating.
She doesn't stalk... she's out of her field with that.
In terms of affection, she's very... lost.
She attempts hugs and kisses... yet she's unsure and confused at times.
Adam has to encourage her, even if most of his encouragement is... crude.
Overall, Lute is an intimidating and stoic nature.
She hasn't felt this way towards anyone before.
And while she may hate it at first...
She doesn't want this feeling, or you, to go away.
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very serene theme that's been stuck in my mind ever since i first heard it
yk, one thing i've slowly come to internalize is that, once you share your art with the world, it's no longer just yours; it's for everyone.
sounds a bit stupid because realistically speaking i still am responsible for arranging and/or writing the songs that i release... but i think people should be free to interpret art however they like, bad or not. you can obviously tell whether or not people interpret a piece of art in bad faith, but i don't think that stops the fact that people are allowed to think what they do.
there have been times where i've tried to change people's minds on why i make specific stylistic choices, but i really should acknowledge that people will interpret it based on their own knowledge and experiences. i feel like i should bring this up because sometimes people don't necessarily see the true intent i want to convey or deliver in a song or my other artistic works, and that's probably for the best. maybe there simply isn't a definitive answer as to what something would truly mean, especially for something so abstract.
people should be allowed to create their own meaning out of the feelings they get from something, though obviously it would be much more appreciated if subjects were handled with more nuance and maturity. people can find their own happiness in their own ways. it's a hard concept to fully grasp, but when you actually slow down and look around... you'll realize that, that minor form of self-expression is a very beautiful thing.
i wrote all that down because this song really just, reminded me about how a song as beautifully written as this one exists in our reality. i personally have never fully played through any pokemon game, so playing gold/ silver/ crystal is out of the question. gameplay just never clicked with me, sorry.
but the thing about this song... or , well, the heartgold/ soulsilver arrange of this song just reminded me of a lot of the beauty in life, despite my suffering.
it's hard for me to have a long-distance relationship, but i am just about as happy as my boyfriend is for us forming a meaningful bond together. his opinions may come off as wacky and kooky and he may be a bit absent-minded; but deep down, i know he really cares a lot about the things he talks about. i've told him many times how unbearable it was watching him squabble with other people about their own opinions, but i still love him regardless. there are times when we respectfully disagree on things so it isn't so grim as i've written it out to be.
i just wished that people would take video games as an art form much more seriously, and when i came to talk to him about it, he agrees with me but simply says he can't do a lot to help the situation; i very much understand that. sometimes we all just have different opinions on things and while that may warrant unwanted conflicts, that's entirely fine.
i like to imagine national park as like, a place that people regularly go to in this universe (no i do not know what part of the pokemon world this is). i like to believe that we'd see different kinds of people here, thus the arrangement reflecting that fact added up with the commentary. you'd never know what you'd learn from other people. the more i appreciate people's perspectives, maybe the more happier i am. like with my boyfriend.
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maybe you should make like a master post with basic info and links on it so people stop asking you the same 3 questions lmao 🫠
I didn't think it was necessary since like, the name and premise of the au is so straightforward 🙈 but you're right, I def should so...
I'll use this instance to say:
1. No, wounds are not transferred, only the pain. If someone gets stabbed, the others won't get stab wounds but will feel the pain.
2. Physical and emotional pain are shared between the chain. Emotional pain piles up, in the sense that if twilight feels heartache over midna, his heartache will trigger legend's marin heartache, making the pain 2x for the others.
3. No, other things like dreams, memories, feelings (other than pain) are not shared/transferred.
4. Every question regarding wild's memories and how they work in this au can be seen here
5. Ravio is part of the curse too, all info about it can be seen here
6. Any other doubts, please look at the #lu pain sharing au tag here in this account, it's most probably that I already answered what u wanted to know
7. About the comic I'm drawing, it's just a fun little thing, I don't intend to make a huge plot or a full-blown comic, it's just a compilation of me fooling around with the pain sharing concept
NEW
8. No, four splitting or shrinking doesn't hurt him, I like to believe that transformations that happen naturally or that are meant to help don't hurt vs twilight's transformations which is more of a curse (and why it hurts) and time's masks (which have pained spirits inside)
9. Same thing about legend's bunny transformation, see above. It's who he truly is in the dark world, so it doesn't hurt him.
10. Yes, sky does have stamina problems and it will appear in the au eventually. I personally headcanon him as asthmatic.
11. Yes, wind does struggle with feet pain cause of so much walking, I hc him to have blisters since he's not used to it
12. No, shadow/dark link aren't part of the curse.
13. Twilight has the highest physical pain tolerance while Wind has the lowest physical pain tolerance. They are opposites when it comes to emotional pain too, since Wind is the most mature emotionally wise while Twilight can't handle emotional pain at all.
14. I hc Wind to have a vagal reaction to pain. He faints a lot in the wind waker during stressing and painful moments, which are two things that trigger vagal reactions (fainting) in people. So he will faint in the comic at some point, yes.
15. Yes, Wild's scar will also be addressed eventually.
16. Yes, warriors has emotional trauma caused by Cia.
17. Yes, legend has emotional pain caused by koholint.
I think that's it? Anyway I hope u don't mind me using ur ask as an excuse to do a kinda masterpost
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“NEVER CHANGING”
theodore nott x reader
last and final part of this series!!! another series is on the way but not sure when though... it's lowkey funny that i wrote that first post in 2022 and now it's 2024.. enjoy though!!
content warnings : cursing, mature language, explicit adult content, rough sex, make up sex, hate sex? (i don't know y'all theo's gone feral), kind-of toxic! theodore nott.
word count: somewhere in the 5k’s
let’s all be happy this part one took 2 months!!
parts : 1,2,3-
Some things just never changed, huh?
Your eyes searched around the crowded ball room and that sentence constantly replayed in your head. The entire thing was cliche, and humbly, you thought you were really above all of it. To avoid vomiting from annoyance, you bring the fleet of champagne in your hands up to your lips and take a long sip.
Standing aside you was boasting your mother and father. The ending of the war was a celebration for new beginnings! Or that's what your father declared in the multiple letter's that he wrote you. Though you knew that wasn't the actual reasoning behind your father's sudden urge to party; He had been trialed for being in cahoots with Voldemort.. and luckily, he was proven guilty. But the concept that you couldn't grasp was why your family wanted to celebrate with a party, it's not like the moment these people walked out of your childhood home that your mother wouldn't judge everything about them. Despite your disagreement of this you were unfortunately still in attendance, wearing an expensive black dress that nicely hugged your curves with your hair neatly pinned up.
Truthfully, if it hadn't been for your father's threat you wouldn't be here. You smiled when the twenty-seventh person approached your parents tonight and engaged in a meaningless conversation. Very rarely did any of the guest direct words towards you, and you really didn't even care because this was probably the last time you'd see most of them.
"Ah! Y/N, I almost didn't recognize you." The women spoke awkwardly, a fake smile slapped on her face. "How has things been going for you abroad?"
"Fine, Thanks for asking."
Before you even finished speaking the women turned back to your parents. About 3/4 into your sixth school year at Hogwarts you made the decision to go and study abroad, well, your parents knew that Hogwarts was in shambles and no longer wanted you there, so they sent you to Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You didn't put up much of a fight because you always wanted to travel the world, and on top of that there were things that you needed to detach yourself with at Hogwarts. So, for the past three years of your life, you've been living happily between Italy, France, and America. Ironically, your extremely rich father funded that and threatened to stop doing so if you didn't show up tonight.
So here you were, sipping through endless champagne as you were surrounded by stereotypical aristocratic purebloods. It reminded you of when you were still in school.. you hated it then and even more now.
"Excuse me, I need some air."
Your parents didn't pay much attention to your words, far to engaged in their conversation. You took another sip of your beverage as you stepped outside of the ballroom and onto the balcony. There was a part of you that missed England while there was another that didn't -- Your life was filled with so much diversity now. You traveled, met new people, ate new food, learned about cultures… everything! But you still missed your home,
Or at least that's what you tell yourself it is.
In your heart, although you were often belittled for your lack of "accomplishments" you absolutely loved traveling the world. But sometimes when you were lying in bed, staring at the celling in silence, you couldn't but to feel sometimes that there was a void that needed to be filled. It was almost like your mind and body feened for something that you couldn't actually make out.
"…Y/N?" The deepness of the voice almost has you thinking it's your father.
With a bull-crap apology sitting on the tip of your tongue you twisted your body to where the sound come from. To your surprise it wasn't your father here to scowl you… it was the last person you needed to see. Your apology swallowed back down, along with every insult you promised yourself to throw Theodore's way the next time you crossed paths. The familiar deep blue gaze and beautifully structured features had your stomach falling your feet. Were you seeing things? Or dreaming?
Why would your parents invite Theodore Nott to your home? They always wanted the two of you together and perhaps that's why they allowed him to take advantage of your naiveness for so long, but you expressed when they wrote you about him three years ago that you wanted zero involvements with the brunette.
Recalling how he emotionally drained you years ago have goosebumps spreading across your skin. Recalling your emotional breakdown in the common room that night makes you more uneasy. The only thing that comforted you was the promised that you made and kept so far, since that night in the common room Theodore Nott never had you again. Not as a lover, as a friend, as an acquaintance… nothing! For the first few weeks it was hard, you missed him because you loved him, but seeing the smugness on his face in the great hall that declared "she'll be back" kept you from going back. Then eventually you left, and your healing became much easier.
"Hi Theo." You softly greet. "You look Good."
You were telling the truth, the brunette looked extremely handsome tonight. His brunette hair was styled in a way that you never seen before but liked and the suit he wore was black. You couldn't help but to think that in a way, the two of you almost looked like you came to this party together.
The brunette pays your compliment no mind, eyes simply piercing into yours, and he wore an expression like maybe he thought he was seeing things or dreaming. The intensity behind his eyes has shivers rolling down your spine -- There was a moment in time when that would've turned you into puddy but now the effect wasn't that strong. Ironically, there was a moment in time when you never could've imagined not talking to Theodore for three minutes let alone three years.
"There you are, Y/N. Come back inside."
Your mothers voice rang through your ears. When you turn around, she's standing at the entrance of the balcony, shooting you a disappointed look. Her eyes than snapped to Theodore who was still staring at you, "What a pleasant surprise, Hello Theodore!"
Your mother wore a smile that lets you know that she purposefully invited the brunette against your wishes. You scoffed, underneath your breath and folded your arms over your chest. Theodore continued staring at you, distracting himself from what your mother was saying.
After taking the hint that Theodore probably wasn't in the right mind to give a response your mother stepped back into the party. There was something deep inside of you that didn't want to leave Theodore standing out here, it was telling you to talk to him. For closure? Or perhaps a better understanding? You didn't know. Eventually you followed behind your mother and stepped into the party, but you couldn't help but to look over your shoulder,
"It was nice seeing you" You cooed.
And before he got a chance to respond your lost in the herd of people.
The next time that encountered Theodore Nott was just as unexpected as the last. Your mother had convinced you to stay in town for a couple of days extra, you easily agreed. Being your mothers only child came with self-inflicted guilt growing, your father was always working, so aside from the house elf's (Which you didn't have any more thanks to Hermione Granger) your mother was at the house alone all of the time. So, when she asked you stay a few days after the party, even though your gut was telling you no, you did. Plus, you didn't really have anything to do for the next week anyways you really didn't mind.
You were walking into your favorite muggle bistro, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh baked goods. Pansy Parkinson and you always made stops here during the summer for the delicious Angel Cake and ever since you step foot in England you've been craving it. Luckily for you your mother had been at some book club for pureblood housewives this evening, so you were able to go without being criticized for eating from muggles.
You laugh to yourself as you remembered that the last time you came here three years ago. Theodore and you drank so many frapes that your stomach hurt from all of the sweetness. Merlin, although he was horrible to you it was the best when he was good. Remembering the good times for you were hard, mainly because you had to bombard your head with the bad ones to be able to fully get over your attachment to him.
The look that he gave you at the party played through your head like a broken record. You wondered; did he finally realize what he lost after all these years? Did he finally value you as much as you did him back then? It was far too late for all of that.
"Y/N? is that you?!" A voice chirped.
Looking over your eyes immediately lit up at the sight of the bistro's owner daughter. When you used to visit the shop, she'd always insert herself in you and Theodore's conversations, he found it irritating while you thought it was cute because she was so much younger. The small curly head girl ran to you, wrapping her arms around your waist as she embraced you.
"Hi, how have you been?"
"Good! Sit down, I'll go put your order in." The ten-year-old girl dragged you to sit down at the counter, "Same thing, right?"
You smiled, "You know it."
The little girl's hair bounced off her shoulders as she ran into the back, smiling ear to ear. You sat down on the stool, picking up a menu to see of they've put anything new that you'd like to try on there.
You didn't pay much attention as someone came and took a seat beside you, an empty stool between the too. The Frangrance that your nose caught a whiff has your heartbeat picking up… and you didn't understand why because your mind hadn't processed it at first.
"How can I help you?" The waitress asked.
"Can I get a slice of Angel Cake and then a medium Carmel Latte with extra whipped cream, please."
The order makes your ears perk up and finally draws your eyes away from the menu. Ironically enough, that was your same exact that you've been getting from this bistro since you discovered it at the age of twelve. You smiled, "Hey, that's my exact order t--,"
"--Theodore?"
His eyes flew to you the second he heard your voice. Why is Theodore ordering your order? He used to act like this place was the worse now he's coming here voluntarily to eat their food. His blue eyes pierced into yours, and for about two minutes the two of you just stared at each other. You hoped he wouldn't just stare at you like he'd done at the party… It made you nervous. You humorlessly chuckled, gesturing to him,
"I thought you didn't like it." You smiled.
"Yeah, I don't."
"Yeah, why are you buying it then?"
Theodore didn't give you an immediate answer and it makes your stomach twist. You'd spent three years getting over him, why were you so nervous now? The brunette cocked his head, rolling his tongue inside of his cheek before chuckling, his much more humorless than yours.
"Because when you came back, I wanted it to be a shortage of Angel cake, so you'd regret leaving."
"Nothing would make me regret leaving."
Coming back to a shortage of this bistro's Angel Cake probably make you flip out but not make you regret leaving. Truthfully, you don't think nothing would make you regret leaving your six years because deep down you know that had you stayed, Theodore would still be dragging you along like some dog.
He knew that to and perhaps that's why there's fury burning behind his eyes as he looked at you. Yeah, you left without saying anything to him, but it was laughable to you that Theodore wore an expression like you betrayed him by ripping his heart out and stomping on it. You couldn't understand why he didn't grasp the concept that he's the reasoning behind your split… you can't even say break up because you were never in a relationship.
"I've written you eight hundred and thirty-seven times."
"I know." You admit.
"You didn't write back."
"I had nothing to say to you, Theodore."
That was the God honest truth. All of the letters that Theodore had written you from the time you left to about three ago were stuffed in a kitchen cupboard in your flat along. It wasn't like you didn't want to read them, it's just that you knew that you couldn't read them for your own sanity.
Theodore wasn't as calm and collected as you were, he snaps, "And why is that?"
"I'm not going to argue with you." You shrugged. "We're too old for that now, don't you think?"
"Okay let's talk then, Y/N. Let's talk like two civilized adults."
"There's no point in that, Theodore."
A large smile spreads across your face when the young girl brought your desserts out. Following behind her was a different girl with the identical thing for Theodore who was now looking at you like you were talking nonsense. If looks could killed, you'd be lifeless on the floor from the way that Theodore eyes were staring at you. When the dessert was placed in front of you you wasted no time digging your fork into it and breaking off a piece.
"Yes, there is because my feelings for you are never changing, Y/N."
Theodore was trying so hard to get you to fold, but you weren't. It almost sounded believable, but luckily enough you know that Theodore loved to pillow talk and get you exactly where he wants you.
"Okay."
"You don't care anymore."
Theodore spoke the words in a way that lets you know that he wasn't asking you, he was saying it like it was a fact. Your nonchalant attitude was fueling his thinking of that and that brought you satisfaction. To say that your fully over the brunette would be 100% percent lying so you wouldn't say it. You missed him, you shouldn't, but you did.
"Yeah, because you never did." You argued.
"I always did."
You sighed, "I don't want to talk about this anymore Theodore."
"So, you just disappear for three years and now you wanna cry because I want answers, Y/N?--,"
You couldn't believe the words that had just left his mouth. He couldn't be serious right now… you were the villain for leaving? Unknowingly, you stood up to your feet, "Real typical of you to invalidate my feelings and prioritize yourself, Theodore! You want me to sit here and listen to your feelings like you literally didn't break my heart."
"You don't deserve answers."
"I'm sorry."
For the first time, those words sounded genuine leaving Theodores mouth. It almost makes you want to give in, feeling like you've finally proved your point by hurting him back... then you realized two words weren't enough. Two words couldn’t even compare to emotions that you felt when Theodore broke your heart three years ago... it wasn’t enough.
It wasn't enough to forget the fact that he practically used you for his own pleasure, disregarding the emotional attachment that you were beginning to develop.
"What can I do to make you forgive me?"
"Theo--"
"Y/N." He interrupts.
What could Theodore do to make you forgive him? Were you even in the proper mindset to forgive Theodore Nott for the troubles that he put you in? You we're sure, if you were, you're not sure that you wanted to forgive Theodore.
The way that Theodore and you were just staring at each other caused the body hair on your arms to stick up. It felt awfully weird seeing the same cold green gaze from three years ago be filled up with so many emotions now. You heaved out a deep sigh, eyes pulling away from his and onto your drink. You only look back when Theodore placed a hand on your leg, basically sending a shockwave through your body.
"One more chance, Y/N."
You blinked, "Do you even think that you deserve one more chance…?"
"No."
All you could do was hum in response to Theodore. At least the brunette was finally being truthful to you, well, that was the least that he could do after all of these years. You took a bite from your Angel Cake, no longer seeing the point in participating in this conversation with your ex-lover.
"I know that I don't deserve another chance Y/N… but--" Theodore shoots out. "Please."
"I was sixteen--"
"Yeah, so was I Theodore but I had enough common sense to string someone along for an entire year." You sighed, shaking your head. "What do you want from me Theodore? I just don't understand."
"I want you to let me show you that I've grown Y/N. Look, I know that I took you for granted and I'm sorry that it took you leaving for me to realize that I need to show that I cared--"
"I accept your apology Theodore, I do."
"You do?"
You were never really the one to hold grudges and Theodore was aware of that, so you didn't understand the shock behind his eyes. Of course, you didn't hate Theodore, no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't. Your mind would always flashback to Theodore's confessions to you, how broken he was and how that might be the reason he treated you the way he did. Back then that excuse made sense, now it was almost laughable; Theodore's trauma wasn't the reason he behaved so nonchalantly towards you, he did it because he wanted to and thought you would never stand against it.
"Of Course."
With that you stand to your feet, grabbing onto your frappe. You sent Theodore a small smile, mainly because you were leaving him to pay your bill, before walking out of the Bistro.
The week that you promised your mother that you spend with her went by in a flash. Hopefully by this time tomorrow you’d be inside of your Flat in Rome, laying on your couch and binge watching your favorite muggle series.
But at this time today you were standing in the corner of a crowded party, watching as Pansy Parkinson basically dry-humped Draco on the dance floor.
Pansy spent the entire day with you doing meaningless nostalgic stuff that the two of you did during your time at Hogwarts. You didn’t understand why she decided to hang out with you your last day but the answer came to you eventually when she mentioned a party being thrown tonight in honor of Blaise Zabini’s 20th birthday. She knew you were more likely to go had she been in your face pleading rather than her asking over the phone.
There were numerous of reason why you didn’t want to attend tonight’s party. For starters you knew there was a good chance you’d see people you attended Hogwarts with and they’d question you about your disappearance. That was a conversation that you’d rather avoid because you knew they already assumed it had everything to do with Theodore Nott. Secondly, you knew that this party would consume of nothing but Slytherin’s which you had nothing in common with but having wealthy pureblood supremacist parents. And your last reason was shamelessly staring right at you over the brim of their red cup.
You learned a long time ago that Wherever there was Blaise Zabini there was Theodore Nott not to far behind. So when Pansy mentioned the get together you automatically began spewing up excuses of not wanting to go that didn’t include the tall brunette. You were so determined on not going but there was apart of you that felt guilty; You just disappeared and now you were declining her offer to hang out because of your own selfish reasons.
And that’s you ended up here, standing in the corner watching as Draco and Pansy danced while being eyed like prey.
Theodore’s staring makes you nervous in undeniable ways… so nervous that you feel the sudden urge to use the bathroom. You almost felt pathetic, you weren’t sixteen years old anymore so why would you get so nervous over a look? Sighing softly you turned on your feet and made your way to the restroom. According to Pansy the party was being thrown in Blaise’s flat but you’d considered it more of a penthouse than flat. It peered over the beautiful city of London, giving you in sight of what was taking place on the streets.
It takes you about five minutes to handle your business inside of the lavatory. Before stepping out you fix yourself up, ensuring that you don’t look as nervous as you feel. When you pulled the door open, hands still damp from your wash a gasp left your lips at the unexpected figure standing in front of the door.
“Why are you following me?” You grumbled lowly.
“This is my home, Y/N. I’ll go anywhere I please without being questioned.” Theodore’s snappy tone makes your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“Whatever.”
You tried to move out of the bathroom but Theodore just stepped in front of you. Your body shifted in the other direction and he blocked you once again. With squinted eyes you stared up at him once again, “What do you want?”
Theodore took a step closer to you, reducing the space between the two of you until there was none left. For some reason you were stuck, not being able to take a step back to open the space again. Goosebumps rise across your skin, being this close to Theodore did something unexpected to your body. You were scared, knowing that despite your rejection of giving him another chance that you’d allow Theodore to take you on right here if he did the right thing.
“I miss you.”
You sighed deeply, “Theodore we don’t need to keep having this conversat--"
“But we do because you don’t believe me.”
It wasn’t that you didn’t believe that Theodore Nott missed you in the past three years.. it’s that you knew you shouldn’t believe that Theodore Nott missed you. You couldn’t understand what else the brunette could want from you, He’d taken your pride, dignity, and ability to want anyone else but him. And here he was standing with desire laced in his gaze.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Theodore gently said, taking your hand inside of his. “I’m so sorry.”
You shook your head and looked away, feeling the pace of your heart pick up immediately at his convincing words. Theodore quickly grabbed onto your face and turned you back to meet his low green eyes.
“Please Y/N?”
“You’re gonna hurt me again!” You shouted in an unfamiliar tone. “Why are you doing this? Why do you keep doing this?” Tears pricked in the corner of your eyes and your fingers tried to pry his hands off of you but he wouldn’t budge. “You’re so Selfish!”
Theodore had always been self when it comes down to you. Freaking out when you made other male friends, playing the hot and cold game, But this right here was another degree of selfishness coming from him—Theodore knew that he hurt you horribly and that you’ve spent the past three years trying to get over from that hurt. So for him to come after realizing that he could not in fact find someone better than you.. it was selfish.
“I know.” He admits.
A single tear slipped from your eyes, recalling the pain from everything that Theodore had put you through and the fact that you still loved him. It hurts your mind, your body, and your soul. Theodore’s quick in swiping the tear away from the skin of your cheek, you found it funny that after all of these years he was still able to wipe away the tears that he caused. Suddenly, He shushed your quiet cries by pressing his soft lips against yours.
And Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest at the taste of the brunette back on your lips. While your mind was telling you to push him away, telling you to stop him, but the way that he kissed you made your body crave otherwise.
Perhaps that’s why you’re eagerly wrapped your legs around his waist when he reached underneath your knees to pick you up. You gasped when his hard erection pressed against his lower half and with your mouth opened Theodore takes his chance to slide his entire tongue inside of your mouth.
The two of you continued your sloppy make out session as he carried you inside of his bedroom. After this all of your built up self-respect from the past three might as well go down the drain and truthfully you’re not sure that you cared. Your legs felt weak from arousal when Theodore sat down on his bed with you straddling him.
You gasped from pleasure when his mouth trailed down your neck. Theodore’s kisses were filled with desperation and you could tell how much he wanted you. While one of his hand he lifted your hips up and the other flys to the button of his pants. Sometimes you got annoyed with Theodore’s lack of foreplay during the heat of the moment.. but right now all you wanted was for him to be inside of you.
Need filled your stomach to the brim while your hands yanked your dress up and pulling your underwear to the side. Drool nearly slipped past your lips when you caught glimpse of Theodore’s freed thick cock, precum leaking from the tip.
His lips caught yours in a kiss again, a moan slipped past your lips when he begins rubbing the tip of himself against you a few time, collecting your wetness.
Before you could brace yourself he was pushing the head of himself inside, the familiar stretch has your body burning and your legs practically spasming.
“Stay still, Y/L/N” Theodore groaned.
Although you wanted to listened to him you just couldn’t. Truthfully, you hooked with a couple of euro boys but they didn’t even half-compare to Theodore Nott. The pleasure spreading across your body has your head spinning.
“Goodness, I’ve missed you so much.” Theodore grunted huskily. “Ugh--I hate it when you keep this away from me.” The pace of him thrusting into you picked up and the sharp pain of his fingernails digging into your skin as he kept your waist in place wasn’t even noticeable,
You’ve missed this so much.
Your fingers slide up from Theodore’s frame, you placed your hands around his face and he shuddered. An unexpected vulnerability filled his eyes while he moaned that almost caused you to close yours. You were token aback by it, your walls fluttering around him.
“I won’t hurt you again.”
“Theodore… Please--,” You gasped, barely catching your breath to speak to him. “--Don’t.”
You couldn’t handle hearing Theodore’s pillow-talk right now. Him lying about going to be better was something you couldn’t handle..Something that this intimate moment couldn’t handle. Your eyes fell close when he pulled you in for another wet open-mouthed kiss.
“Don’t what?” He hummed.
Theodore ran his hand through your hair. You couldn’t form a response, truthfully you’d forgotten that the brunette even asked you something. But clearly that didn’t please him because Theodore suddenly rolled the two of you over. Your body was now pinned underneath him, completely vulnerable to whatever strokes he wanted to give you.
And clearly they weren’t nice ones…
Suddenly, there was a change in Theodore’s thrusting. It was rougher, animalistic almost. You weakly pushed against his stomach, small whimpers leaving your lips at every hateful thrust he gave you.
“Look at me,” He growled, grabbing onto your neck and forcing you to look at him. The way that Theodore drives himself into you has your eyes watering, tears streaming down your face, so he was a bit blurry. “Don’t do what?”
The hard squeeze that he gives your throat has you spiraling. You hiccuped, eyes rolling in the back of your head, toes flexing as you came.
“Yeah, Just like that.” Theodore begins guiding you through your orgasm, thrust becoming deeper yet still rough.
“--Theo,” You panted his name.
“Yeah, Theo.” He mocked you. “That’s who’s fucking You.”
Despite you being stuck underneath him, you squirmed at his tone. You already sensed the possessive words he’s about to spew and you’re sure it would send you cumming once again.
“That’s who’s always gonna fuck you, Y/N. Me.” He practically growled in your face, forcing you to keep eye contact with him.
“You don’t wanna hear that I’m sorry? I don’t care because you need to, I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize it but I do love you.”
You moaned but it was overpowered by the sound of Theodore moaning in your ears. Overstimulation filled your body as Theodore finally came undone, spilling his cum inside of you. Your fingernails dig deep into his back while he snapped his hips at yours, drilling his release deep inside of you.
With a grunt, Theodore smashed his mouth against yours in a sensual kiss. He mummers against your mouth, “I’m gonna change, I promise.”
taglist: @jeyusosgirl @rae-pottah @abeltownshipslittlebitch
#smut#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott#hogwarts#harry potter#cherries#lorenzo zurzolo#theodore nott fanfiction#theodore nott x you#theodore nott smut#hp fandom#hp fanfic#slytherin
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Baby Blues
First Lady of Private Garden Fic
AN: mature topic ahead, mentions of postpartum depression
Synopsis: The two of you are at odds once again, and deep down, Jack knows that there is something wrong with his wife but can't figure out what it is. He makes it his mission to get down to the bottom of it in order to help you.
Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader
The full fic to this concept
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
You massaged your temples as you sat down on your bed finally able to take a breather. All three babies had been officially home for two months and instead of it getting easier, you felt as if it was getting harder. Jack had been sent to the store by you to get more formula since your milk supply hadn't been that great lately. Probably due to the fact that you were barely eating, but that was another conversation.
The hope was that they would at least sleep for two hours so that you could lay down yourself, but you knew that it probably wouldn’t work out in your favor. You and Jack were still at odds and it would be sometimes awkward with both of you at home with the triplets which was 98% of the time. After almost losing you, that definitely took a toll on him, but the two of you would still argue about unnecessary things that wouldn't matter twenty four hours later.
In your mind you were trying your absolute hardest while trying to recover from having them since it hadn't been anything but easy. At this point, you didn't want to divorce him. Possibly legal separation, but the thought of divorcing him completely had never crossed your mind. Despite what had gone on in your marriage, at the end of the day you still loved him and couldn't see yourself living without him.
The front door opened indicating that Jack was back and you soon heard his footsteps as he made his way upstairs. He peeked in your bedroom and saw you sitting on the bed and staring off into space.
He leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead and you gave him a weak smile.
“You feel okay, today?” He asked as he sat down next to you, but you just shrugged.
“I don't know. I just…” You got quiet and didn’t finish your sentence.
“Baby, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong.” Jack replied as he grabbed your hand to place in his.
“I don't need any help. I'm fine.”
“Y/N, why are we doing this again? You're shutting me out and I'm trying to understand what is happening with my wife.”
“Hmm, so now you want to try and understand? You weren't concerned with how I felt basically the entire year in 2022 so why now?”
“I already apologized for that and I thought we moved past that.”
“Who moved past it? Because I didn't.”
“Why do we ALWAYS do this?” Jack exclaimed while throwing his hands up towards you, but all you did was attempt to put your excuse of hair into a ponytail because you didn’t know the last time you actually brushed it.
“We always don’t do anything, you brought it up so I answered your question.” You fired back while looking at the two mismatched socks on your feet.
“I’m trying here so the least you can do is cut me some slack!”
“Jackman, if this is what you call trying to at least attempt to act like you care about this marriage, this is one hell of a poor job.”
“Here we fucking go. Don’t you think that if I wanted a divorce or to separate from you that I would have done it already?” Jack asked and you could tell he was immediately filled with regret as his eyes went wide and all you did was stare at him.
“There’s still time to go to the courthouse today if that’s your heart’s desire since it’s only eleven in the morning. But let’s be serious I saved your fucking image because come the fuck on, I could have thrown your ass under the bus. No matter how you mistreated me and put your wife, someone that you gave your last name to on the back burner, I still did right by you. As much shit as you did and it wasn’t a secret, it got played out for the entire world to see but yet, I never spoke bad about you ONE TIME. Because as much as you constantly give me headaches, I love you and I do want to save this marriage. But if I’m the only one trying then fuck it. The one thing that really sticks out in my mind is when I actually did fight Anitta and you didn’t even ask me if I was okay, not once. Despite how she had acted towards me ever since she met me. I told you how I felt about her and all you did was ignore me in order to try and boost your career. The career that I helped you create, but whatever.” You simply shrugged your shoulders and tried to walk past Jack, but he caught your wrist and lightly tugged on it.
Deep down, he knew that he had been difficult towards you and it had been hard to process his emotions and Jack did feel some type of way about how he had treated you. He broke the one promise to you when you told him not to ever forget where he came from or the people that helped him get to where he was, but now he had done the exact opposite and the fame had got to his head.
It took him hearing it from his mother to finally realize it
“Y/N…. wait a second.”
All you did was turn to look up at him and let out a deep sigh.
“I promise to do better and do right by you….. And them. I’m sorry I just…. I know for a fact that I have to be better about expressing how I feel towards you and a few months ago, I thought that I was going to lose you forever. Please don’t ever think that I don’t love you because I do. I love you more than life itself and just for the past year I haven’t been the best husband that I could be and want to get back in your good graces and fix this. I’m tired of us fighting and we have three little ones that don’t need to grow up in a dysfunctional household. You know for a fact that divorce would never be an option for me on my end. I was serious when I asked you to marry me at nineteen and I’m still serious now.”
“It’s not just us anymore and they should always be your first thought.” You quietly said as you could hear through the baby monitor that they were awake.
“I’ll…. Go make an appointment with Fatima after I check on them.”
The two of you had been seeing a marriage counselor named Fatima and you could tell that she was genuine and also wanted the best for the two of you.
“That sounds like a good idea.” You quietly answered as you simply hugged yourself in your pink oversized sweater that Jack bought you years ago, not bothering to make eye contact with him.
“We’re going to get through this, baby. One step at a time.” Jack quietly said as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.
All you did was nod in response as you sat down on the bed and simply stared off into space.
Jack simply sighed as tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he walked out of your shared bedroom and was on his way to the triplets room when he pulled out his phone to do a quick google search.
He knew that something was wrong.
What are the signs of postpartum depression?
Insomnia.
Fatigue.
Poor appetite.
Mood swings.
Irritability.
As Jack kept reading the symptoms on the list, just about every one of them he had seen in you over the past month and he was kicking himself for not noticing sooner.
You were hurting and he was simply adding to it which was the last thing that he would have ever wanted to do. After checking on the triplets, he would text Fatima and look more into getting you help for this because this had to be the only explanation for what was going on with you. After coming home, you had been so happy and now it seems like a switch went off and you were the complete opposite. Jack quickly wiped away his tears before making his way into the triplets room to see Axel wide awake and staring at him. He quickly picked him up and cuddled him closer to his chest.
“Axel, I have to figure out what's going on with your mother and get her the help that she needs. I want for her to be able to see the three of you grow up, but if she keeps going how she is right now, that might not happen. I'm trying to be a better husband and a good father to you three, but I don't think I'm doing such a good job.” He quietly confessed as he brought him downstairs in order to make a bottle for him.
As he waited for it to heat up, he saw you come into the kitchen and attempted to take Axel from him. But you quickly heard his protests.
“Baby, go lay down. I got them. You're tired.”
“I'm fine. I can feed him.”
“Y/N, please just listen to me. Did you even sleep at all last night? You aren't fine.” Jack asked as you looked away from him and he knew that he had his answer.
“I need for you to rest. Don’t worry about them.”
“But…”
“Please don't argue with me. I know when my wife is tired.”
“Okay.” You quietly said as you made your way back upstairs.
When Jack had woken you up by kissing yojr forehead, it was starting to get dark outside and as you sat up in bed you simply sighed.
“Baby, come on. I ran bath water for you.” Jack didn't wait for a response as he grabbed your hand and led you into the bathroom and began to help you take off your clothes.
You glanced down at your scar across your abdomen and quickly looked away. It was still hard for you to look at seeing that you almost lost your life.
Jack helped you sit down in the bathtub and kissed your cheek and made sure you were settled.
“I'll get some clothes for you to wear and put them out on the bed and I'll order you some food. Wing Stop okay?”
You nodded your head as Jack left the bathroom, but he made sure to keep the door cracked in order to be able to hear you if you needed him. Ten minutes had probably passed before the tears started streaming down your face and they wouldn't stop no matter how hard you tried.
You were trying to stay quiet so that Jack wouldn't hear you, but he did once he had heard a loud sob. He immediately stopped what he was doing to go in the bathroom to check on you and the sight in front of him broke his heart.
“Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did something happen?”
At this point your knees were to your chest as your head was resting on top of them and your arms were hugging your legs as you continued to sob.
“Jack…” You started to say before letting out another sob.
“Yes? Baby, you're scaring me. Tell me what's wrong.” He asked again as he was now sitting on the side of the tub next to you.
“That's the problem! I don't know! I'm so sad all the time. Why do I feel like this?”
“We're going to get you help. Whatever I have to do I'm going to make sure that my wife is okay.”
“Do you promise?” You asked in a whisper as you turned to look at him.
“I promise. You aren't going to feel like this forever if I have anything to do with it. I want you to get back to being your happy bubbly self. I haven't left your side since you got pregnant and I'm not leaving now. We're going to get through this.” Jack told you as he brushed some of your hair out of your face that had fallen out of the ponytail.
You nodded as Jack grabbed the Mielle shampoo that you used for your hair and began to massage it through your scalp. He didn't even know the last time you had washed it and figured that he would do it for you so that it was one less thing that you had to worry about.
As Jack washed your hair for you and conditioned it, your thoughts were running rampant. The last thing you wanted was to feel like this and you wanted to be the best possible mother to the triplets. You deserved it and they deserved it with as hard as it was bringing them into this world and all that you went through.
After he had rinsed out your hair, he grabbed an old t-shirt to wrap around it in order for it to be able to dry as he helped you out of the bathtub. Once he did and you were facing him, he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips which you gladly accepted.
“I love you and you’re going to be okay. We're going to be okay.” He whispered and you immediately nodded.
“I love you too.”
“Let me help you get dressed so I can finish your hair for you. You want me to blow dry it or let it air dry?”
“Blow dry it, please.”
“The Harlow salon is officially in business.” Jack said and you couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh.
Once Jack had finished your hair for you and putting it up, he made sure that you ate and the two of you were now sitting against the headboard in your bedroom as he was flipping through channels on the TV. You simply went and laid your head on his chest as his arms wrapped around you and leaned down to kiss the top of your head.
“Thank you for being here for me today.” You quietly said and you hugged him tighter.
“You don't have to thank me. You're my baby and your well being is important to me. I'm always going to make sure that you're okay and I’m sorry that it took me so long to notice.”
“Notice what?”
“That my wife was hurting. You have postpartum depression, baby. I looked it up and you have almost every single symptom.”
“Oh.”
“At least we know now what's wrong and we can do what we need to do in order to get you help. You mean everything to me even though I haven't been the best at showing it. But I'm going to do better for you and them.”
You hadn't even looked up the symptoms of it, but was going to take Jack’s word for it.
“I just want to feel better and be a good mom.”
“You will feel better and you're already a good mom. You just need a little help right now and that's okay. This is more common than you think, but it's not going to be like this forever.”
“What if we have more kids and this happens again?”
“We don't need to worry about that right now. Let's just focus on getting through this first.”
You nodded your head in agreement as you turned your focus to the television and you started hearing small whimpers on the baby monitor. You made a motion to get up and Jack immediately tried to stop you.
“Babe, I can…”
“I got it. You let me rest a little bit and I feel better.”
“Are you sure?”
“Promise. I'm fine. Like you said it won't be like this forever.”
A few months later, you were sitting backstage with the triplets and Jack was due to perform along with a few other artists and he made it up in his mind that he wanted all of you to come with him. Ivy and Autumn were crawling around on their playmat with their toys while Axel was in your arms sleeping as you heard the door open and he walked in.
He leaned down to kiss you while also kissing Axel's forehead as he sat on the floor and both of the girls crawled over to him.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” He asked as he was making faces at Ivy who was laughing.
“We're fine babe for the millionth time.” You responded while laughing and checking the time on your phone.
“Just making sure!” He said as he held up his hands in defense.
Jack made sure to block off a room backstage specifically for you and the triplets. Urban would pop in from time to time to check on you too so that way they wouldn't be overwhelmed with all of the noise. There was a screen in the room so that you along with the babies would be able to watch Jack’s performance.
“Aren't you supposed to be getting dressed?”
“I had to check on my wife and babies first. Yall are my priority. They can wait.”
Just then Urban stuck his head in the door and was looking at the both of you.
“Neelam is going to murder you in the next two minutes if you don't hurry up.”
“Tell her I'm coming!”
“That's what she said.” You muttered before busting out laughing and Jack and Urban just shook their heads at you.
“And you call me the unserious one.”
“But you are!”
“You know this is the first time in a while that I've gotten a genuine smile out of you.” Jack said while getting up and coming to sit next to you.
“And I have you to thank for that.” You said as you adjusted Axel in your arms.
“Just doing my husband duties. We're in this for the long run, baby.”
“And I wouldn't have it any other way.” You replied as Jack leaned down to kiss you, but was interrupted by Axel waking up and giving him a look.
“I… Axel fix your face. Your mom was mine first.” Jack exclaimed as you laughed at the face he was making at Jack.
Axel continued to stare him down before closing his eyes again and laying his head back down.
“You know you can't get mad. He is literally you in a baby's body. But back to what I was saying. You saved me in more ways than one so thank you smush.” You said as you leaned over to kiss him again.
“You're welcome, baby girl. If it's for you I'm going to do it without a second thought.”
Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, generationnow, sza, theshaderoom, and 1,592,006 others
y/ninsta: jackharlow said today is the first time in a while that he got a genuine smile out of me, so I had to take a selfie. Postpartum depression is real, and I thank my husband from the bottom of my heart for recognizing what I was going through and that I needed help. I love this life that I get to live with him and my babies 💕
jackharlow: always in your corner, baby. forever and always.
urbanwyatt: SERVING LOOKS 😍😍
danivalentine: jackharlow thank you for taking care of my baby girl. she is so loved by you and everyone else around her. 🥹
saweetie: love you mamas and we always got your back
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#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow angst#jack harlow fluff#jack harlow fanfiction#jack harlow imagine
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