#i don't know that much about game of thrones
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eu-nicola · 19 hours ago
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sacrifice
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summary: you are a noble woman who faces an impossible situation: sacrifice your freedom and marry a cruel senator to save Lucius
warnings: violence, angst (idk)
word counter: 5084
author’s note: english is not my first language
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The air in the imperial hall was thick with unbearable tension. The emperor's voice echoed with an authority that seemed to crush every corner of the room, while his eyes analyzed you with a calculating disdain. Sitting before him, you could feel the weight of the words he'd just spoken, as if they were a dagger pressing against your neck.
“It's a simple exchange,” he had said, his tone almost bored, as if discussing the terms of a minor treaty. “You accept the marriage to Senator Callidus, and in return, Lucius will be freed. We won't pursue him again, nor will we send him back to the arena. He will live, as long as you play your part.”
Your breath caught in your lungs. The thought of Lucius, dragged back into the suffering and humiliation of the arena, tormented you. You had witnessed the cruel spectacle of gladiators fighting for their lives in front of an indifferent crowd too many times. But Lucius wasn't like the others. He was fire contained in flesh and bone, a man whose spirit couldn't be broken, no matter how much the Empire tried with every lash and chain. His only “crim was his blood, a heritage that marked him as a threat to the throne.
On the other hand, there was Senator Callidus. His name made you sick. He was known for his insatiable greed, his cruelty towards the weak, and his contempt for everything you stood for. If you accepted the marriage, your life would become a constant hell. His poisonous words and calculating gaze would be your daily companions, and any hope of freedom would disappear forever.
The emperor watched you in silence, savoring your internal struggle. He knew he was asking for an unimaginable sacrifice, but to him, your feelings were irrelevant. What mattered was what his Empire would gain from the union. Callidus was influential, and his support would ensure political stability that the emperor wasn't willing to pass up.
When you finally retreated to your chambers, despair wrapped around you like a cloak. You didn't sleep that night. The candles burned down to melted wax as your mind wandered through every dark corner of your dilemma. Part of you wanted to reject the proposal with every fiber of your being. You didn’t want to become a pawn in a political game or the wife of a man who despised you as much as you despised him.
But the image of Lucius wouldn’t let you rest. You remembered him in moments when his rare but sincere smile had lit up the darkest days of your life. You remembered how, even chained and wounded, he had found strength to comfort you when everything seemed lost. He was so much more than a gladiator. He was a symbol of everything the Empire feared and, at the same time, everything you admired: courage, resilience, freedom.
Day by day, the torment grew. You found yourself wandering the palace gardens, searching for answers in the whisper of the wind or the rustling of the leaves. Your maidens watched from afar, whispering among themselves about your pale complexion and the way your hands trembled constantly. No one dared approach, except one.
“My lady,” said Ilena, your most loyal maid, in a quiet but concerned tone. “What are you going to do?.”
You looked up at her, and for a moment, you wanted to unload your anguish. But what could you say? What words could capture the weight of a decision that would affect not only your life but Lucius's and the fate of an entire Empire?
“I don't know, Ilena,” you whispered finally, your voice broken.
That night, as the stars twinkled on the horizon, you made the decision to visit Lucius in secret. You managed to convince one of the guards to let you into the dungeons where he was held. When you arrived, the sight of his chained figure tore at your soul. Despite the visible wounds on his skin, Lucius greeted you with the same intense gaze he'd always had.
“You shouldn't be here,” he said softly, though there was no reproach in his words.
“And you shouldn't be here either,” you replied, feeling your tears threatening to spill.
He tilted his head, studying you as if he could read every one of your thoughts. “What’s going on? Your face says more than your lips want to admit.”
You told him everything. Every word came out with difficulty, as if revealing the dilemma made it even more real. When you finished, Lucius remained silent for a long moment. Finally, he spoke.
ñDon't do it,” he said, his voice firm. “Don't sacrifice your life for mine. This place, these chains... they're not worse than losing you”
His words hit you like a storm. For a moment, you felt the temptation to do what he asked: reject the marriage and find some other way to save him. But reality was cruel, and you knew it. There wouldn't be another chance.
When you left the dungeons, with Lucius's words echoing in your mind, you understood that the time for indecision had passed. The choice had to be made, and whatever path you took would mark you forever.
When you returned home and found rest in your chambers, the sound of hurried footsteps approaching down the hallway ruined it all. Then, the door to your room flew open, and your mother stormed in like a whirlwind. Her face was pale, not with exhaustion, but with contained fury. Behind her, your father and older brother entered, their expressions shifting between disbelief and disgust.
“Is it true?,” your mother demanded, her tone icy. She didn't need to explain what she meant; the rumor had spread quickly, as it always did in the palace.
You remained silent, but your tense posture was enough of an answer.
“By the gods! You can't do this.” Your father's voice boomed with authority. “Marry that man? Callidus? Do you know what it will mean for our family? It will drag us into the mud along with his name.”
“I’d rather die than see you by the side of a monster like him,”
your mother added with a coldness that cut through you like a sharp blade.
Your brother, who rarely got involved in family matters, stepped forward. His gaze was filled with genuine concern, and that hurt more than your parents' words. “Sister, you don't have to do this. We’ll find another way to help Lucius. There are... other ways.”
“What ways?,” you asked harshly, standing up. Indignation began to burn in your chest. “Talk to the emperor? Beg for Lucius's life when we all know he's already made his decision? There’s no other way.”
“You’re not thinking clearly,” your father retorted, crossing his arms. “Callidus isn't just corrupt, he’s a dangerous man. If you marry him, he won’t just destroy your life, he’ll destroy ours. Our family will lose the respect of the court. We'll be the subject of mockery and rumors.”
"It's a gladiator," your mother replied with disdain, her words laced with contempt. "He's not worth the sacrifice of a daughter or the prestige of a house like ours."
The words hit you like a whip. How could they be so blind? Lucius wasn’t just a gladiator; he was a life, a hope. But in the eyes of your family, they only saw chains and blood.
"I’ve already made my decision," you said firmly, crossing your arms.
The silence that followed was deafening. Your mother looked at you as if she couldn’t recognize you, while your father closed his eyes, shaking his head with a mix of frustration and resignation.
"If you do this," your father finally said, his voice full of warning, "don’t expect our support. Don’t expect protection when things get tough. Because they will get tough, I assure you."
"Father..." your brother murmured, as if still wanting to calm the situation, but your father raised a hand to silence him.
"No," you said, lifting your chin with determination. "I don’t need your support. This isn’t for you or for me. It’s for him. And if that means losing everything I have, then so be it."
When your family left the room, the air felt colder, as if they had left a void behind. You stood there, staring at the closed door, as tears threatened to fall. But you refused to let them out.
There would be no turning back. The choice was made.
The next day, the emperor received you in the same hall where the deal had been made. His expression remained impassive as you announced your decision with the same firmness you had used with your family.
"Very well," he said, offering a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. "I knew it. You’re a smart woman. Callidus will be pleased."
You didn’t say anything, just nodded while the words "Callidus will be pleased" echoed in your mind like an unpleasant echo. You knew what awaited you: a bleak future, a constant struggle. But you also knew that somewhere, Lucius would live free, far from the suffering and cruelty of the Empire.
As the days passed, time seemed to move faster than a shooting star, and each new dawn brought a reminder of your impending fate. The preparations for your marriage to Callidus were underway, like an unstoppable machine. The maids measured you for dresses, servants debated the arrangement of flowers, and heralds were already practicing how to announce your union with the senator to the court. Everything felt surreal, as if you were living someone else’s life.
But what tormented you the most weren’t the details of the marriage, but the messages that began arriving. The emperor, in his infinite ability to manipulate, had begun sending you envoys with disturbing messages, each one more unsettling than the last.
The first message arrived one morning while you were having breakfast alone in your chambers. A young messenger, dressed in the colors of the imperial palace, bowed deeply before speaking.
"My lady," he began, with a carefully neutral voice, "The emperor has received reports that Lucius has accepted his fate as a gladiator. According to rumors, he is willing to fight in the arena again."
You set the cup you were holding down so gently that it barely made a sound against the plate. You looked at the messenger in disbelief.
"Where do these rumors come from?" you asked, trying to stay calm.
"Lucius himself is said to have expressed his willingness in his last conversation with the guards," the young man replied. "They say he even asked to be trained again."
The words felt like a dagger slowly sinking into your chest. You knew Lucius would never accept his fate as a gladiator; not after everything he had suffered. But doubt slid into your mind, like poison. What if he had changed his mind? What if he had decided that your sacrifice was in vain?
You stood up abruptly. "You may leave," you said, the coldness in your voice hiding the storm raging inside you.
The messenger bowed again and left, leaving you alone with your thoughts. The room, which you usually found comforting, suddenly felt oppressive. You paced back and forth, trying to clear your mind, but the messenger's words continued to echo.
The following days brought more messages, each one designed to erode your resolve.
A different envoy arrived on the third day, informing you that Lucius had begun training in secret, showing a renewed skill that impressed even the most seasoned gladiators. On the fifth day, another messenger claimed that Lucius had made disparaging remarks about your sacrifice, supposedly saying that he didn’t need you to save him, that he would rather die in the arena than depend on you.
That last statement left you paralyzed. For hours, you sat in your room, staring into space. The messenger’s words repeated like an incessant echo in your mind.
"What if it’s true?" you asked quietly. The possibility that Lucius didn’t want to be saved, that you were sacrificing your life for someone who didn’t want your help, began to consume your thoughts.
Ilena, your maid, approached quietly and set a cup of tea on the table beside you. She knelt beside you, her eyes filled with concern.
"My lady," she said softly, "do you really believe these news... are true?"
"I don’t know," you admitted, a lump in your throat. "I can’t ignore them, but I can’t fully believe them either."
"Then maybe you shouldn’t believe them," Ilena suggested gently. "Emperors aren’t known for their honesty. He’s always after something."
You knew Ilena was right. Both emperors didn’t need the truth to get what they wanted. But even knowing that, the doubts were impossible to ignore.
As you struggled with the doubts planted by the emperors, deep in the dungeons of the imperial palace, Lucius also faced an internal storm. The chains that kept him physically bound couldn’t restrain the flood of thoughts that overwhelmed his mind. Each day, he saw how his fate hung by a thread, depending on your decision.
At first, his focus was entirely on survival. He had learned to hide any sign of vulnerability, becoming an almost imperturbable figure in front of the guards and the spectators who attended the arena fights. However, your secret visits had planted a seed of something he hadn’t expected: hope.
The furtive conversations between you and him became the only light in his dark days. Every word shared, every furtive glance, began to blur the barrier he had built around his heart. What began as simple recognition of your humanity slowly transformed into something deeper and more complex.
Lucius remembered his wife, Arishat, whose death had left an unfillable void. Arishat had been his anchor, the reason he fought to survive in the arena and dream of a life beyond the chains. Her memory was sacred, a testament of love and loss that he swore never to betray. Accepting your sacrifice would mean giving up the hope he had placed in a future he never knew.
Every time he saw you, he felt a mix of gratitude and confusion. The strength you showed in facing oppression and sacrifice inspired him, but it also made him question his own feelings. Was it possible, after all this time, for his heart to open again? Could he allow himself to feel something more than the need to survive?
Those answers never came for Lucius, and he had to leave them in oblivion. When the day of the wedding came, the blinding and cruel sunlight bathed the imperial palace, casting long and stretched shadows on the ground. The grand square was adorned with colorful flags and garlands, but everything seemed like a mockery compared to the weight you felt on your shoulders. Your wedding to Callidus, the senator who despised everything you represented, felt more like a farce than a celebration. However, the emperor had decided that the true ceremony of the day would be something else, one that would take place in the arena, before the eyes of the entire court and the people.
The spectacle had been carefully orchestrated. While preparations for your wedding continued inside the palace, the stands of the imperial coliseum were filling with eager spectators. Men and women from all social classes gathered to witness a battle that, according to the emperor's rules, would not only be a fight to the death but a sacrifice that would mark the destiny of everyone present.
As you were led to the arena, the air seemed to grow dense. You could hear the screams of the onlookers, the expectant crowd waiting for a slaughter. The cage Lucius had to fight in was already being prepared, and the entire palace seemed to have been transformed into a stage for the impending fatality.
Both emperors watched you from their elevated thrones, their eyes fixed on you as if they were enjoying your pain. They knew what you had sacrificed. They knew you had given yourself to this fate in the hope that Lucius would gain the freedom he so desired. But they also knew this would be a cruel reminder of what real power in the empire entailed: sacrifice, suffering, and absolute control.
The arena began to fill with a palpable tension as the gladiators were pushed into the center, among them Lucius, who, despite the visible scars of his suffering, stood tall, his face marked by a determination that made your stomach twist. You knew what the emperor had done. You knew he had manipulated him, that the news of your sacrifice had reached his ears, and that the only reason he fought with such ferocity was the promise of your life, of your sacrifice. The emperor trusted that, upon learning the magnitude of your pain, Lucius would fight harder than ever, driven by a rage that would shake even the most fearsome opponent.
From the stands, with the sun burning your skin, your eyes locked onto Lucius. You could see the internal struggle reflected in his face. You knew he didn't want to fight, but the thought of losing you, of losing the chance for redemption you offered him, was pushing him beyond his limits.
The emperor raised his hand, and in that instant, the fight began.
The gladiator Lucius had to face was a large man, with armor that gleamed under the sun, armed with a sword as sharp as a serpent. Lucius was unarmed, his hands bound behind his back, and only his agility, training, and will could save him. At first, the fight was a cruel game for the opponent. Lucius, caught between his desire to survive and the need to honor your sacrifice, moved with impressive skill, but every blow he took seemed to break him a little more. The fight was not only physical; it was emotional, mental. His mind was a battlefield.
From the stands, you felt powerless. You couldn't take your eyes off Lucius, yet every move he made tore you apart more and more. The sound of metal clashing against metal, the crowd's roar, everything mixed into a torrent of pain and despair. Every time Lucius fell to the ground, a scream died in your throat, but you couldn't do anything, nothing but watch.
They forced you to stay there, as a witness, to witness the horror of what the emperor had planned. The palace priest, with a voice that was sacred but empty, began to proclaim the fight as a blessing for the Empire, while the shadows of the gladiators stretched across the arena, merging with your own despair.
Lucius stood up once more, his face covered in blood, his body battered with bruises. There was something in his gaze that pierced your soul: a mix of rage and resignation, fear and bravery, as if he had already accepted the inevitable. But, at the same time, his eyes met yours, and in that brief exchange of glances, you could see the love and gratitude, but also the anguish of knowing that his freedom could cost you your life.
The large man raised his sword for the final blow, and in that moment, something changed in Lucius. The strength he had been controlling throughout the fight burst out in a surge of raw energy. With a cry of fury, he jumped on his opponent, unarmed, but with a ferocity that seemed to defy logic itself. The fight turned into a torrent of force and blood, and finally, with a swift and deadly move, Lucius dispatched his enemy.
The crowd erupted in cheers, but for you, everything was chaos, an abyss you couldn't escape. Lucius had won, yes, but at what cost? The emperor watched from his throne with a cold smile, while you felt your soul tearing apart.
The fallen gladiator lay in the arena, a symbol of what the emperor expected from everyone: submission. But Lucius, with his breath heavy and his body aching, stood tall, looking at you with eyes filled with conflicted gratitude. You knew what that meant: the price of his victory had been too high. He had fought for your sacrifice, for your freedom, and at that moment, he couldn’t be free.
You had stayed standing, watching the scene, believing for a moment that maybe all of Lucius suffering had made sense, that maybe the emperor would keep his promise. But the blow of reality was as violent as the clash of steel on the sand.
A guard stepped up to Lucius with firm steps, the gleam of his sword reflecting the sunlight like a deadly threat. Your heart stopped. The emperor had never intended to free Lucius. It was all a lie, a manipulation to ensure that he would die before the eyes of the people. The promise of freedom had only been a way to gain Lucius’ loyalty in the arena, a way to manipulate his will until it was too late.
The guard raised his sword, and a scream of horror escaped your lips. Chaos took over you. You couldn’t stand still, watching the man you had tried to save being led to his death by the hand of a cruel tyrant. The pain in your chest, the despair, the rage transformed into a courage you never thought you had. You couldn’t, you mustn’t, allow the emperor to succeed. Lucius didn’t deserve to die like that.
Without thinking, your voice trembling with contained fury, but clear and determined.
“Stop!” you shouted, looking directly at the emperor. “This is a lie! The freedom you promised me was nothing but a mockery! Lucius must not die! The sacrifice has been mine, not his!”
Your voice echoed across the arena, and a heavy silence followed your declaration. The guards turned towards you, their gazes cold, but the crowd started to murmur, and then, what seemed impossible, happened. Inspired by your words, the slaves, the gladiators, the prisoners, all those condemned to the arena, rose. A cry of rebellion rose up, a roar that made the Coliseum tremble. The chains were shattered, weapons were taken, and the anger held for years of suffering overflowed. The rebellion had begun.
The emperor watched the scene, stunned, not understanding immediately what was happening. His eyes moved quickly from side to side, looking for a way out, but the room was already filled with chaos. The roar of the crowd, the sound of fights breaking out, the soldiers’ desperation as they didn’t know how to control the rebellion, all of it surrounded you.
The guard who had been about to execute Lucius hesitated for a moment, glancing at the growing revolt with fear. Seizing the distraction, Lucius, exhausted but with a fury renewed in his eyes, stood up with strength that seemed to come from the very pain that had marked him for years. You knew you had to get to him before it was too late.
Running towards the arena, you dodged the falling bodies, the deafening noise of the battles around you. When you reached Lucius, he looked at you in surprise, and for a moment, his eyes showed vulnerability, as if he couldn’t believe that amidst all this, in the middle of the chaos, you had come for him.
You stopped in front of him, your breath heavy, your heart pounding in your chest as if it were about to explode. Lucius, his eyes full of emotion, stepped toward you, his hand trembling slightly as it touched your face, as if he couldn’t believe you were really there, in front of him. The rebellion continued to tear everything apart around you, but in that moment, there were only the two of you, amidst an unparalleled chaos.
“You did it,” he murmured, his voice full of awe and gratitude. “What you did… Why?”
“I don’t know,” you responded, trembling. “But I couldn’t let them kill you. Not after everything we did, after everything we sacrificed… I promised I’d free you, and I won’t break that promise.”
Lucius closed his eyes for a moment, as if the words caressed your soul. When he opened them again, there was a deep sincerity in them, a fragility that only you could see. His hands took yours firmly, as if he feared you might disappear.
“The sacrifice, right?” he said bitterly, but a weak smile appeared on his lips. “You’ve given everything for me, and I… I don’t know if I can live with that. But now… now I don’t know how to let you go, how to let you keep suffering for me.”
The words you had kept hidden for so long finally came out, like a confession buried deep within you. “Lucius, I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but… I love you. And I can’t keep seeing you in this life without freedom. I can’t keep living without knowing I fought for you.”
Lucius trembled, the shock in his eyes echoing your own feelings. The crowd kept fighting, the clashing of swords and shouts barely reaching your ears. Yet, all of that disappeared when he moved closer to you, his lips seeking yours in a kiss that changed everything.
The world, the Coliseum, the emperor, all vanished the moment his lips touched yours. It didn’t matter what happened next, it didn’t matter what awaited you at the end of this rebellion. Only Lucius and you existed, the love you shared in that fraction of time when the history of an empire fell, but the love of two souls rose above it all.
The kiss was all you needed. He held you, kept you close, as if afraid of losing you, and it tasted like sacrifice, hope, a forbidden love that defied the laws of an entire empire.
After that, Lucius pulled away, his figure disappearing into the shadows of the crowd that was celebrating the rebellion, his back straight with a new determination, a new opportunity.
As he walked away, you stayed there, amidst the turmoil, the fighting, and the chaos you had unleashed. The smell of burnt gunpowder and the sound of the echoes of rebellion still rang in your ears. The feeling of having freed him was bittersweet. There was a bitter satisfaction, as if you had given your soul to a cause greater than yourself, but at the same time, you knew that the peace you had won for him was only the beginning of a personal torment you would have to face alone.
You sat on the ground, exhausted both physically and emotionally. Lucius’ face still lingered in your mind, his gaze intense and full of gratitude before he left. It had been your sacrifice that had freed him, that had kept him alive, but now he, now free, had a future that you couldn’t share. The irony of it all tore you apart inside.
The rebellion continued. The slaves and gladiators kept fighting, taking advantage of the chaos to gain ground, while the emperor’s forces tried to restore order. You knew the price of your bravery would be high. The guards were already approaching, their eyes reflecting the emperor’s fury. They had seen you publicly defy his authority, expose his betrayal, and all of that wouldn’t go unnoticed. The temptation to run, to join Lucius in his escape, was strong, but you knew you couldn’t. You couldn’t bear the consequences if you did. The emperor, in his rage, wouldn’t hesitate to crush what was left of you to make an example of your disobedience.
One of the soldiers stepped closer, his eyes cold and calculating, and without saying a word, you were surrounded by a group of guards. There were no shouts, no threats, just the heavy silence of imminent defeat.
You stood up with dignity, even though the weight of your decisions, your actions, struck you with every step. It didn’t matter what the emperor did to you now. You had already given everything you had. Lucius was free.
The following days became a series of trials, punishments, and confinements. You were kept prisoner in the Imperial Palace, locked in your chambers where no one came to see you. Yet, even in the darkness of your thoughts, the image of Lucius kept you alive. You knew he was far away, seeking his freedom, fighting for his life in a way that no longer belonged to you. Despite all you had lost, there was some comfort in knowing he had a new chance to fight for his future, to redeem himself.
Rome looked at you as a traitor, as a woman who had defied the will of her emperor, and you couldn’t foresee what the future would hold for you. You knew it would be a long road to earn redemption, and the emperor wouldn’t easily forget the humiliation you had caused him. The death penalty was a real possibility, but still, you were certain you had done the right thing.
Loneliness was unbearable, but sometimes, when everything calmed down, when darkness took over your cell, you felt something inside you. A presence that had grown within you without you knowing. It was a feeling that filled you with both fear and hope. In the silence of your chambers, you realized what you waiting: a child of Lucius.
Weeks passed slowly. The sentence you had been given seemed like a sentence to invisibility, to oblivion. Your body started to change, and with it, the weight of the life growing inside you. You had returned to “normal,” your charges forgiven, and now the child you carried would be called your husband’s son, not Lucius’, but at least you knew he would be safe. Every time you thought of him, of his smile, you felt him close. Maybe you would never see him again, but the love you shared could never fade.
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bridgeportbritt · 2 days ago
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Willington Palace | Sage, SimDonia
Diana: Good job, Mia! Can you stack this one?
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Mia: Syack syack stack!
Diana: Very good. Looks like we're putting your little brother to sleep!
Mia: He sweep?
Diana whispers: Looks like it. We'll have to play very quietly, so we don't wake him.
Mia: Otay, I play quiet, mama.
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Maranda: Good evening, Your Majesty. Sorry to interrupt-
Mia: Randa, be quiet! Ger Ger sweeping!
Diana whispers and laughs: It's okay, Mia. Sorry. Is everything okay, Maranda?
Maranda: Yes, Ma'am. I just spoke with Lydia and she just had a message for you.
Diana: Oh, alright. What is it?
Maranda: She wanted you to know that everything with The Grand Duchess of Umbrage is handled and things are back on track with the treatments.
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Diana: Really? Well, that's wonderful news. Thanks for letting me know!
Maranda: Of course, Ma'am. Let me know if you need anything else.
Diana: Will do.
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I'm just now realizing that the last time we saw Diana, girl was still very much pregnant but, in my game, her little man has been out and doing his little infant thang lol. No royal announcement or nothing! I blame pregnancy brain. So without further ado, here's a little introduction!
Welcome, third in line for the throne and first in line to his parent's and siblings' hearts - HRH Prince Gerhard Spencer Winston De Geloes, Duke of Sage! Otherwise known as Gerhard Junior or Ger Ger by his little sister!
He had a relatively smooth birth with his whole family present. His nursery is right next to his big brother Parker's room. The family couldn't be happier about this addition!
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yuikomorii · 3 days ago
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I 💖 your blog. Your writings are so cool🤩 . If you don't mind 🥹I want to ask a question. Have you thought why Ayato is not considered heir by his people like Subaru who wasn't involved in heir training but considered a 'good candidate ' for Karl's throne by maids(MB) and Shu was always considered a perfect heir by his people (MB) but wasn't it Cordelia who's supposed to be the 'empress' aka legal 1st wife and the woman who brought demon lord title, Viboras alliance to Karl through her marriage and whose blood is of great importance(LE,MB). So technically Karl's crown/title should be rightfully Ayato's but that wasn't the case. Nobody said a thing like that about Ayato. And almost all LE route Karl's title either goes to Shu or Subaru , Why is that?🤔
// Because Shu and Subaru are pure blood vampires, while Ayato is not. In LE, it’s confirmed that Zweig is against Subaru becoming king because he would have liked the triplets, who have Vibora blood, to rule over the Demon World.
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The vampires would naturally want a pureblood to rule the kingdom, not a half-breed. In fact, the triplets aren’t even regarded as proper half-breeds—they’re seen as genetic failures. They’re not Vibora enough to qualify as Vibora Kings, nor Vampire enough to be viewed as Vampire Kings. Beyond that, the maids favored anyone over the triplets and not because of who they were, but because they were Cordelia’s children. Considering Cordelia’s behavior towards everyone, this isn’t surprising. If she went as far as ordering the butler to treat Ayato coldly, who knows what other orders she gave.
Shu inherits the powers most often because he’s the eldest, and by royal standards, this makes him the most suitable to wield them. As the oldest, he’s expected to be the most experienced and mature, having lived the longest and, theoretically, gained the wisdom and stability necessary for such a responsibility.
As far as I recall, Subaru only inherits the powers twice outside his own route. The first time is in Kou’s route, likely because the writers wanted to focus on the relationship between Kou and Subaru. The second time is in Shin’s route, most likely because the Founders played a significant role in Subaru’s own route, so they wanted him to have a presence in theirs as well. Ayato, Kanato, and Reiji also inherit the powers outside their routes, leaving Laito as the only one left out. Even Kou, the only Mukami, ends up inheriting powers, which was quite shocking.
In my opinion, none of the Sakamakis would make good kings because a truly good king would never treat their own brother with such disrespect. Ayato may possess the most noble personality traits, but he was unfortunately born into a family that is unsupportive and provokes him at every turn. As for Lost Eden, I don't really care much about it either, especially since it was boycotted primarily because of Ayato's route, and the Sakamakis already got their hate train both in EA and the West. The game was released almost 8 years ago, so I don’t hold any grudge against them for that.
Well, maybe Ayato is simply the best fit to be Adam, rather than a king. No matter how doomed he is by the narrative, what matters most is…
ONLY AYATO SAKAMAKI SELLS OUT 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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dandelion-blues · 4 months ago
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#10 What if...
Percy Jackson's first life was as the stillborn son of Cersei Lannister and Robert Baratheon
PJO x A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) crossover
The Fates’ Gambit
Percy's luck finally ran out. Here, he was dying in a pool of his own blood. Crimson and gold blood soaked into the ground. He just wishes he got to see his family one last time. For his mom to hold his hand, while Paul rambled about his newest book fascination, trying to be calm for Percy and for his little sister Estelle to smile and babble at him.
Hades, he even wanted to see his distant father, Poseidon, and his step-mother Amphitrite, and brothers Triton and, of course, Tyson. After all, he got closer to his godly side of the family when he was allowed to visit their palace after the Giant War, and he found himself missing their presence as well. He also really wanted his boyfriend. He wanted Jason to make the gray skies and rain go away so he could see the sun one last time. To see his beautiful golden hair and tanned skin, and blinding smile, staple scar and all, even if he was holding back tears. 
None of this happened though, Percy was dying alone, in a dark alley all because he had grown complacent, weak in thinking everything was finally over and he could finally be happy, have a happily ever after. How stupid?! Percy should have known that was impossible for him.
When he felt blood marking his body, gaping wound in his abdomen, broken and twisted bones, he knew he only had mere minutes, seconds to live, and even when his thoughts grew sluggish he prayed to Poseidon, Triton, Amphitrite, and told them he loved them and to tell his mother, step-dad, and little siblings Estelle and Tyson that he loved them too, and wished he would get to stay with them. Alas, the fates never seemed to like him, and they should continue to live and be happy without him.
He coughed up blood, struggling to breathe as blood filled his lungs and throat. It tasted of iron and sweetness — the taste of his divinity that only grew stronger as he aged. It was a bittersweet taste, even as he was finally coming to terms with his ascendance and future immortality, over living to a hopefully old age — he now gets neither. He was dying, and there was no blessing that could save him, but Percy hoped that his family would forgive him and live on, that they heard his final prayer.
Percy smiled glad he got to say some form of good bye, and took one last wheezing breath, the light fading out of the seventeen year old's eyes just as a burst of blinding light could be seen in his last moments, and he embraced the darkness…
A beautiful light so bright, like stars coalsensing in the dark depths of the sea. It didn’t burn like Percy thought seeing the true forms of the gods would. No, it just felt safe. It’s too bad that it’s too late for him…
Notes:
Percy's first life never began. 
He was born the unnamed first born of Cersei Lannister and Robert Baratheon, who died shortly after birth. However, upon his death, his body was taken away in a flash of light. This light was shown throughout the whole kingdom, and whispers in an ancient language were heard (which would be triggered for them to remember Percy upon his return. That he is the rightful king.) 
Then, he had his second life as Perseus 'Percy' Jackson, and the fates had it out for him. He almost made it to eighteen, and he thought he finally could rest, but no, he died. The fates weren't done with him, for it was time for him to go back to his first life and take his rightful place on the throne and fight the Night King and enemies of the throne where he came back in a burst of light and ancient words were once again spoken triggering the people's memories and the words were translated to "The King has been reborn and returned." Before the words said, "the prince has died and left."
Maybe have Percy come back in a burst of blinding light with a lot of witnesses, and they believe these 'gods' words and as Percy passes out upon merging with his first life's body and his old one (the old one was an empty shell waiting to be used), the people immediately go to treat him and Cersei is overjoyed about having her son back. 
The light shows throughout the kingdom just as he did when he died. Maybe have Percy show up before Tommon's reign as a gift from the gods and take his place on the throne. He's not prepared and yes he has a darker morality, but he will still be Percy (like Jason Todd level), and since he wasn't reborn through the Lethe he has his memories and powers.
Also, Percy has been growing closer to the sea fam after the war with Gaia and receiving royal lessons, so he isn't completely left hanging when it comes to being royalty and dealing with the court and nobles. 
Percy will only marry for love and will tell his suitors as such. Also, he’s hoping to be reunited with Jason, even if that’s a far-off possibility.
People hear Percy saying things in ancient Greek, which people think is the language of their gods along with his powers and resurrection believe he has been blessed by the gods, which he is, just not their gods. 
First - Previous - Next "What if...?"
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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I don't understand why the hell HBO Rome (or as I call it, Game of Romes, since it feels like a re-skin of Game of Thrones ngl) needs to significantly change historical events.
The show takes place during the fall of the Roman republic! AKA one of THE most interesting, densely packed 15-year periods of history to ever take place!!!!
There is shit that happened during that time that is unbelievable except for the fact that we have proof! And if you as a writer want us to be able to believe those moments, you can't just randomly change shit to make it so actually it was your special OCs who brought down the Roman Republic!!!
Special shout out to Roman Cersei AKA 'Octavian's mom but for some reason she is literally just Cersei from Game of Thrones' [edit: I have just been informed this show came out like 10 years before Game of Thrones. So I guess Cersei is actually the new Atia!]
#listen I don't know that much about the actual historical Julia of the Atii but from what I can tell there are no accounts of her being#anything like Cersei Lannister. I'm guessing some HBO executive was like#the people love Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones. therefore this show also needs a Cersei Lannister. the chart says that Cersei sells!!#original#roman history#Julius Caesar#Marc Anthony#Cicero#Octavian Caesar#Octavius Caesar#Augustus Caesar#the Roman Republic#the Roman Empire#I mean it just drives me fucking insane it is already a fascinating period of history#within which you could easily write incredible and accurate historical fiction!#having your two main characters be two of Caesar's soldiers is a good idea! they could get up to incredibly interesting things!#who's to say they wouldn't be interacting with great historical figures??#but there's absolutely no need to actually change the historical events!#I cannot stress enough that the 8 years in which this show takes place WERE. FUCKING. WILD.#Cleopatra legitimately had herself delivered to Caesar in a laundry bag! as far as we know that actually happened!!!#it is enough to have your soldiers represent the lives of the everyman in a history mostly remembered thru the acts of 'Great Men'!#I actually think that is a hugely important aspect of historical dramas! but it doesn't work! if actually! they aren't everymen!!!!#when they pull off some weird rewriting of a major historical event it's distracting bc I actually would like to know what really happened!#and how a person who cannot control the tide of History was affected by that!!#but nooOoooOooo#instead I have to second guess every single fact presented because who gives a fuck! gods!! I was hoping to learn something!!!#hbo rome#woops i meant Atia of the Julii.
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oveliagirlhaditright · 2 years ago
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They have Shotlocks in Final Fantasy XVI? Well, I'm a lot more excited about FFXVI's gameplay now. And maybe FFXVI as a whole.
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c0rpsedemon · 2 years ago
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insane 2 me that eiyuu senki has a translation b4 fate/stay night does
#it's literally EXACTLY what most ppl think fsn is....#plot-light eroge with a 'historical figures (+ knights of the round table) but they're cute anime girls' gimmick#tbf though i've said it b4 and i'll say it again. i am the exact target audience for what ppl Think fsn is from the outside#and one of these days (read: after i get a pc and play through a million other (better) games i have on my list) i'll def play it#if only to analyze it as an arthurian adaptation bc going through conceptually inch resting arthurian adaptations is my hobby#(and when i say that i mean there is a Reason the term 'girlboss arthuriana' was coined (i should know. i coined it.) and the genre is#Oversaturated. i don't want to read another young/new adult novel about an arthurian woman by some1 who Clearly was seized w the need 2 be#mzb 2..... the sequel!. heard the most baseline description of this random lady. and ran w it!#i already know every single plot beat and every single cliche and major arthurian misunderstanding they'll run straight into#and it'd be redundant to point them out or analyze how or why they made certain decisions so i. don't read them anymore!#i refuse to touch anything girlboss arthuriana or openly derived from th white/game of thrones. i will have a much more enjoyable time#trying to figure out how arthurian gacha number 42069 or self published novel abt a minor character you'd have to read med lit#(or at least more than 1 wiki page) to even know or obscure 70s narrative song than touch a single nyt bestseller wannabe)#(*when i say arthurian gacha i don't just mean fgo it's just the most famous example. king arthur is a v popular gacha character and#i've yet to figure out why)#also eiyuu senki has palomydes AND didn't whitewash her so like. !!!!! . i am predisposed to like it more than other adaptations#(<<< has a fave knight of the round table (and it's by a Lot))#+ i'm generally weak 2 knight girls. you should know this abt me already. and percival has a nice 1/4 scale figure so like ....#let's just say i Really want to like it#romeo.txt
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kenzie-ann27 · 1 year ago
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what's the worst generation to have as parents and why is it gen x
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corinthianism · 1 year ago
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corinthianism's fic recs
here are my personal favorite fanfics! idk how often i'll update this, but i hope you like them as much as i do :) *indicates smut
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last updated: march 26, 2024
MARVEL
loki laufeyson - from the void, with love — by whirlybirbs (my fav fanfic of all time!!! i think about this fic several times in a day bro) - riptide — by starks-hero - the tailor* (series) — by birdofhermes (ao3) - time after time (series) — by goldencherriess (ao3) - a friend from work — by cozy_the_overlord (ao3)
thor odinson - god of fertility* (request) — by charnelhouse - highway don't care (but i do, i do)* (part one, part two, part three) — by spacelabrathor
peter parker (andrew garfield) - agree to disagree — by delicate-dorothea - nerdy peter (request) — by webslingingslasher - good boy x bad girl trope (request) — by webslingingslasher - hold you here, my loveliest friend* — by p3mybeloved - your friendly neighborhood sensitive spider* — by jin0 - glad you're home — by withahappyrefrain - the mechanics of a soul — by irndad - 3 is the magic number* — by withahappyrefrain - crush — by ptersparkers - as it goes ��� by forever-rogue - here comes the sun (part one, part two, part three) — by withahappyrefrain - stability, reciprocity, and a romance for the ages (series) — by privateanxieties (ao3 - need an account to read)
steven grant (moon knight) - hold me close — by stormkobra-5 - gift of min* — by astroboots - puzzles* — by stormkobra-5 - first time* — by luvpedropascal - domestic adonis* — by peterman-spideyparker - where it starts — by silversweetpea - fallen from heaven, grown on earth* (series) — by davosmymaster (ao3) - call me poe* — by kittyfandom (ao3) - elemental — by batsingotham (ao3) - the boy with the thorn in his side — by eating_flowers (ao3)
marc spector (moon knight) - not him — by loud-mouth-loser - it's worth it, it's divine* — by the-archxr - i'm getting to know someone — by davosmymaster (ao3)
wade wilson (deadpool) - tea and sympathy (series) — by bucketsoffrogs (ao3)
SHERLOCK (BBC)
sherlock holmes - your hidden strength — by okay-j-hannah - sublime dexterity* (part one, part two) — by daydreamtofiction - literally everything by starks-hero
SUPERNATURAL
sam winchester - playing house (part one, part two) — by uncouth-the-fifth - baby i'll stay (heaven can wait) — by uncouth-the-fifth - move over.* — by ggwritesstuff - where's your head at?* — by beau55515 - birthdays: sam winchester style* — by karleekarma (ao3) - the comforts of home — by zepskies - under the hood* — by shawslut
dean winchester - whether you like it or not — by kbeautimous (ao3) - reading you wrong — by zepskies - cherished — by thatonewriter15 (ao3) - soft touch — by wearywinchester - i love her, that's why* — by kaleldobrev - drivin' me crazy* — by lis-likes-fics
castiel - salt n' lick* — by aperfectgrace (ao3) - a bite of apple pie (series) — by ac_deanc (ao3)
THE SANDMAN
the corinthian - bring me a dream* (series, ongoing) — by placeinthemiddleofnowhere - nihil — by lis-likes-fics
dream/morpheus - sweet dreams (are made of this) — by stranger-nightmare
CRIMINAL MINDS
aaron hotchner - from eden — by heliotropehotch - gold star — by honeypiehotchner - love, an abstract concept — by luveline - honeymoon phase* (series) — by hotchsbitch (ao3)
THE BOYS
soldier boy (he's absolutely horrible but so. so. hot.) - break me down* (series) — by zepskies (go read their other stuff too!) - talk to me — by zepskies
homelander (also absolutely horrible. would sleep with him.) - if i can't have you — by watchstarscollide - milky white* — by after-witch
GAME OF THRONES
jaime lannister - i'm not made by design — by ichorai (this legitimately changed my brain chemistry)
STAR WARS
obi-wan kenobi - like turning on the light* — by full-time-make-believer (deactivated acc) (this also changed the trajectory of my life) - where it wasn't* — by 221bshrlocked - your thoughts are loud — by spidersbane - empty me out* — by 221bshrlocked - house of memories* (series) — by meshlasolus - bad idea, right?* (series) — by mischiefling (ao3) - you make me feel like dancing — by saradika (ao3) - it's a wonderful lie — by firstofficerwiggles (ao3) - temptation's kiss — by karasong (ao3) - you make my dreams* — by wickedscribbles (ao3) - like a living mirage — by karasong (ao3) - broken drought* — by rosalindbeatrice (ao3) - never grow up — by doihavetoloseyoutoo (ao3) - never ending story — by kybercrystal (ao3) - volveré* — by kxnobi (ao3)
din djarin (the mandalorian) - the savior* (part one, part two, part three) — by dindjiarin - significant — by softlyspector - touching din — by archieimagines - uncharted territory* — by pedrito-friskito - creed* — by wheresarizona - home is wherever i'm with you* (part one, part two, part three) — by saradika
DRACULA (BBC)
count dracula - the székely* (series) — by theplumsoldier
LOTR/THE HOBBIT
thranduil oropherion - a boon* (series) — by inksplots (ao3) - beauty and the beast (series) — by tamurilofrivendell (ao3)
DOCTOR SLEEP
dan torrance - of monsters and men* — by helaintoloki & obitwo - domestic life (headcanons) — by thornsinmycrown - smut alphabet* — by daincrediblegg
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astonmartinii · 10 months ago
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cutie patooties | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem leclerc!reader
just them terrorising the world with their cuteness (and collecting the younger drivers)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SMALL BUSINESS
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,455 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: he loves redline more than me 🙄
view all comments
user1: obsessed with how she's like "oh you wanna ship max with my brother" and then takes lestappen out back and shoots them
user2: as she should, she's the cutest leclerc by far
yourusername: true 😙
maxverstappen1: double true 😘
charles_leclerc: die.
yourusername: erm consider your ass REPORTED THIS IS HARASSMENT
maxverstappen1: did you just threaten my girlfriend ????
charles_leclerc: and what?
maxverstappen1: pull up, i'm outside
charles_leclerc: ???? leave ????
maxverstappen1: no i'm deadass don't disrespect my gf 😤😤😤
charles_leclerc: it's my SISTER
yourusername: when he's protective 😛😛😛
user3: screaming, crying, throwing up over the keychain
user4: i need someone *cough, cough* them to recreate it 🥸
landonorris: YOU WENT TO THE LEGO STORE WITHOUT ME? YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD?
yourusername: watch your tone
maxverstappen1: god forbid i want to spend time with my GIRLFRIEND on a DATE
landonorris: that's not a valid excuse
yourusername: also bold of you to assume you're our favourite child when oscar, yuki and logan are right there
oscarpiastri: snooze you lose lando
yukitsunoda0511: suck on that lando
logansargent: i'm just happy to be included
landonorris: damn...
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,203,513 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
maxverstappen1: spent the weekend bothering my girlfriend's brother, what about you?
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user9: the way charles put his ferrari cap on y/n only for max to throw it into the crowd and put his own on her head instead
user10: those who know max's attachment to his caps, this is big.
yourusername: winning looks so sexy oh my
maxverstappen1: blushing like a motherfucker
yourusername: skip the debrief? they won't notice?
maxverstappen1: i think they might notice the driver of the race they're analysing not being there
yourusername: show them the pic i just sent you, they can't say no to my puppy dog eyes
maxverstappen1: helmut said fuck off 💔
yourusername: tell him i have a present for him (it's a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and a pamphlet for caskets)
user11: @yourusername winning IS sexy, tell your bf to tell charles win
yourusername: if charles wins it's suddenly decidedly unsexy, this isn't game of thrones babe
charles_leclerc: you ARE annoying that's right
maxverstappen1: annoyingly sexy
charles_leclerc: no comment, we're going to be family at some point soon
maxverstappen1: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE
yourusername: if you think we're annoying now, oh boy.
user12: i need max and y/n to be engaged right this fucking moment
user13: i think it would actually make my year
user14: after the championship win queen @maxverstappen1 ?
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liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,562,044 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: @ the person who asked how much max weighs... god will deal with you
view all comments
user15: i'm obsessed with how obsessed they are with each other
user16: is max's wardrobe all red bull merch and t-shirts dedicated to y/n?
maxverstappen1: yes 😌
danielricciardo: i saw the clip... the time stamp was 3am - we RACE TODAY?
yourusername: i am happy to support my man's hobby
danielricciardo: yes but you also don't have to race with that man on three hours of sleep
yourusername: be real daniel, the only time you'll be close to max is when he laps you xxx
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME??? MAX YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TALK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE LIKE THAT?
maxverstappen1: bold of you to assume you were my first love
danielricciardo: did on the couch mean nothing to you?
maxverstappen1: soz buddy this is a childhood friends to lovers narrative right now (and we were already together by the time i was at red bull)
charles_leclerc: WHAT?
yourusername: spare me the dramatics, you guys were deep in the ANGST and then austria happened so really it's your own fault that it took as long as it did
user17: one comment section where the girls aren't fighting? impossible.
oscarpiastri: omg the shirts look so good y/n !!
yourusername: we're ✨graphic designers✨
maxverstappen1: does having a dashingly handsome model help
yourusername: of course !!!!!
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to answer that question
maxverstappen1: :(
oscarpiastri: on another thought - yes!
yourusername: @landonorris this is why he's one of the favourites
landonorris: i'm not talking to yall
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maxverstappen1
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername and 1,309,556 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: weekend off racing means shenanigans and late night streaming
view all comments
user20: i know whatever poor soul went for dinner with them hated every second
yukitsunoda0511: working on being the favourite of the favourite children 🫡 and they paid for my meal at a really cool italian restaurant
oscarpiastri: game on
yourusername: so who is the lady and who is the tramp?
danielricciardo: THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION MAX DON'T ANSWER IT
maxverstappen1: you're not a lady... you're a queen 😘
yourusername: did you just fail the test, successfully?
danielricciardo: you smooth motherfucker
yourusername: stole your red bull drive and your nickname @carlossainz55
carlossainz55: why am i catching strays?
yourusername: bored ❤️
user21: y/n really be like "oh the season's boring cause my bf wins everything? let me make it interesting by shading every driver on the grid"
maxverstappen1: do NOT give her a challenge
charles_leclerc: can you PLEASE stop taking such lovey dovey gross ass photos maman keeps getting them printed and I AM GETTING MOVED OFF OF THE MANTEL PIECE I AM ON THE BOOKSHELF, THIS FACE IS A MANTEL PIECE FACE NOT A BOOKSHELF FACE
yourusername: not reading all of that, i'm happy for you or sad that happened x
charles_leclerc: MAX DO SOMETHNG
maxverstappen1: step your pussy up bro
yourusername: when he catches your lingo >>
charles_leclerc: i am a VICTIM
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, landonorris and 1,450,387 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & charles_leclerc
yourusername: invented babygirlism actually
view all comments
user22: y/n is so real for choosing a cute recent photo for herself and then just violating the guys
user23: she's funny as fuck for that
charles_leclerc: finally some fucking credit
yourusername: not everything can be about you all of the time 🤨
charles_leclerc: don't make me an ankle-biter again you're PUSHING ME
sebastianvettel: knew you were an ankle biter
yourusername: LOL
charles_leclerc: no seb no! i didn't bite ankles, just y/n's and that doesn't count
user24: what the fuck is going on here
maxverstappen1: you are the most babygirl to ever babygirl
danielricciardo: i think i had a stroke reading that
yourusername: awwwww you're so cute maxy
maxverstappen1: knew you were the one for me when we first met karting, you taught me the babygirl ways
yourusername: and you're delivering
oscarpiastri: you guys can't see but he's blushing so bad right now
landonorris: are you just attached to them
yourusername: yes he is, a babygirl in training
user25: how do i get adopted by y/n and max?
maxverstappen1: no but for real i love you, even if we are lumbered with your brother
yourusername: i love you too xxx
charles_leclerc: *brothers
maxverstappen1: nope arthur and lorenzo are sound
charles_leclerc: fUCK OFF :(((((((
FIN.
note: heyyyyyy you guysssss! we all know i have a soft spot for these two (plus oscar and alex) so i wanted to put out a little thing to celebrate 5k! thank you so much for following and reading my work, hope you enjoyed xx
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anyarose011 · 1 month ago
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Et tu, Brute?
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Pairing: Emperor Geta x Reader x Lucius
Summary: You went by many different names: "Rome's Delight", "The Woman with the Golden Mouth", "Geta's Favorite Whore", and "Julia". None of these were your true name; all used just to dehumanize you as nothing more than a slave. When the General Acacius returns from conquering Numidia, and you meet one of the slaves that was brought from the bloodshed, you hope to reclaim not just your freedom...but power along with it.
Part 1 of 2 (Masterlist)
Warning(s): Depictions of rape and SA [not shown], slavery, cannon typical violence, minor Stockholm Syndrome, major character deaths, historical inacuracy [but I tried my best to make it somewhat accurate] and Spoilers for Gladiator II
I saw this movie once, watched Game of Thrones at the same time, and cranked out a story where you, the reader, know how to play "The Game" (but also not because let's keep it kinda realistic) I'm gonna be honest, this might be a hot mess, and I used a script I found online (but Idk how accurate it is). Also, this first part is just mainly story based with the events of the film the SECOND part will focus on reader and Lucius' relationship (including smut, you sluts {I am also slut, don't worry}.
I do want to say though that the depictions of SA are in no attempt to romanticize them. I also decided not to write out the specific scenes because I myself am a survivor, and wanted to focus more on the protagonist's growth. The trauma still affects her story, but I do not want to write rape scenes merely for shock purposes.
Also, if you name is actually "Julia"...no it's not :)
Word Count: 16.1k
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It was your own fault, that was what they tried to make you believe.
How dare you not wish to participate in the public baths, how dare you desire to bathe in the place you felt most safe.
Foolish, foolish girl. You were not even safe on your own porch in the house you grew up in.
Your father hadn’t been the wealthiest of merchants, but before he passed into the Elysian Fields after his death that year, he had made a fortune; so much as to buy a bathtub for your house.
If anything, you had bathed at night when you believed no one could see you not for your own modesty, but to prevent anyone from stealing it.
Yet, one particular night, a man had spotted you.
The Emperor Geta of Rome had watched your naked form glisten in the moonlight as you washed the most intimate areas of your body; sighing at the feeling of being clean after the day, only for your soul to feel tainted once morning broken.
Guards had nearly broken the hinges off the front door to your house, and dragged you to the palace. You had lived in that house for your entire life, the same neighbors beside you, yet as you kicked and screamed…none helped.
You had grown tired once in the palace, and the eldest of the twin emperors stood before you. He cupped your chin.
“What is your name, girl?”
You answered him, attempting to speak with venom, but the quaking of your voice betrayed anxiety.
He hummed, repeating your name. “Why are you all alone?”
You huffed. “My mother died in the battle that is childbirth, and my father was lost to an ailment in his loins.”
“You have no brothers?” Geta questioned, his eyes running down your form. “No husband?”
“They called my father strange for leaving me his possessions.”
“He mustn’t have passed on so long ago.”
“Why does the death of my father concern you if you only seek my body?” You questioned.
A smile twisted upon his lips. “Perhaps I like to know my fruit before I devour it.”
And he kissed you.
You had been kissed before, but this was the first time you hadn’t wanted to be. You hadn't expected him to be serious about devouring you. His teeth sank into your chin, then your cheeks, until they were finally upon your lips.
It was the first time, in all your life, you felt your body grow cold and freeze despite his hands wandering over you, pulling at the thin fabric of clothing that covered you.
You fell to the floor, clinging to it desperately as he tried to lead you to his chambers. You had expected him to order one of his men to kill you, or have them carry you…
Instead, he took you right there. He simply lifted his own robes then yours and stole what wasn’t his to take.
All you remembered of that was counting how many pillars were in the room.
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You were one of his several concubines. Yet, despite being the newest, you were his favorite.
“Julia,” he whispered to you in the night a month after he had made you his. A month after he had decided to call you by his mother’s name instead of your own. “are you awake?”
You mewled, sitting up. “I am now, my love. What is it?”
Geta smiled, holding out a stack of parchment. “Look at what some of the men found in Carthago.”
You rubbed your eyes as the lamps in his room brightened before looking down at the crudely written words. Geta looked at you in earnest.
“Can you read them?”
A few days prior at him and his brother Caracalla’s birthday festivities, it was revealed that you spoke five languages: Latin, Phoenician, Aramaic, Hebrew, and Greek. Your father had taught you every single one of them to fend for yourself amongst all kind of people.
Now, it was nothing more than a shameless trick Geta used to his amusement.
“Rome’s Cleopatra,” he deemed you in front of the crowd. “the Woman with a Golden Mouth”.
Everyone in that room and all of Rome knew that your ability to speak so many dialects was not the only reason he gave you that title.
Still, as you lay in his bed with crumbling parchment in hands, you forced a tender smile. “Yes, I know what it says. Would you like to know?”
He laid his head in your lap without another word.
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Months passed, and he had grown kinder…only when it was night, and even so, that was only when the moon was full.
There wasn’t a day where your body hadn’t ached from the turmoil he put you through. It was hard to discern when he would want you to be small and subservient to him, or confident and commanding in matters of the bed.
The handmaids that were blessed to not be in bed with him would bathe and coddle you as best as they could, for even through your suffering, you tried your best to treat them with kindness.
You didn’t even know who you were after the fourth month of being Geta’s slave.
Gone was the girl who had a peaceful life; there was now the Emperor’s Pet.
General Marcus Acacius returned to Rome after overtaking the kingdom Numidia in the emperors’ names, and it was the first time you were in his presence. It was certainly a surprise that Geta would string you alongside him on personal matters that had nothing to do with sex.
The general would glance at you every so often, and his look of pity felt more violating that any of the times Geta, or his brother, or anyone else in all of Rome had looked at you.
Upon the general’s return, a series of games at the Colosseum were to be hosted, among parties that would last for the remaining week.
The first was at Senator Thraex's home.
“My little Julia,” Geta caressed your cheek as you sat upon his lap in the makeshift throne. “might you fetch me another cup of wine?”
You nodded, taking his cup and kissing his hair. “I shall, my love.”
He ran his fingers down your neck as you got off of him and made your way to the barrels. Yet, as you passed an open door, something caught your eye. Peeking around the somewhat crack in the door, you saw a few men sat in the room, chains around their ankles and their wrists.
One of them, more muscular than the others with brown curls, held his head low. His skin wasn’t as dark as other men from Africa Propria, but not as pale as the Germanic lands.
When his eyes met yours, you saw a pale blueness only seen in the sky on a summer’s day.
Gasping, you hid behind the door for only a moment before looking again. His gaze was still on you. Deciding to end the strangeness of the situation, you spoke.
“I’m sorry.” You apologized.
He said nothing; you tried again.
“I’m sorry.” You said in Greek.
The look in his eyes changed to confusion, but he said nothing.
“Hebrew?” You questioned. “Aramaic? Phoenician?”
“You speak Phoenician?” He asked as if he hadn’t heard it in forever.
You nodded. “I speak five languages.”
“Ah,” he answered in your native tongue to your surprise. “Rome’s Cleopatra.”
Your nose scrunched as if you smelt something rotten. “You understood me the first time?”
“I did.”
“So why not say anything?”
“What am I to say to your pity?”
You hummed. “I do not pity you, I was showing respect.”
He scoffed. “Respect? Am I a man that looks as if I deserve respect?”
“I believe every man deserves respect so as long he is kind.” You glared at him.
The man shook his head, sighing. “You are a foolish child if you believe that men can be kind.”
“I haven’t for quite a while.” you stated. “I pray that it is the hope that kills me.”
He questioned. “And not one of the emperors?”
“What is your name, slave?” You crossed your arms.
He huffed, drawing his eyes away from you and clenching his fists before relaxing them. “Hanno.”
You nodded. “They call me ‘Julia’.”
“But that is not your name.”
It was blistering hot that particular day, but you felt your body run cold; the same cold you felt when Geta…when he first…
“Who says it is not my name?” You challenged.
“You are merely a concubine,” he said. “you are not a part of his lineage, and therefore, your name is not ‘Julia’.”
You do not know why you seethed with so much rage from his words. You did not even spit on him; you merely stomped away from that door, filled up the emperor’s cup, and went back to Geta.
“It took you nearly a millennium to come back, my sweet.” He scoffed yet kissed your bare shoulder. “I was beginning to worry.”
You shook your head, leaning against him as you sat on the arm of the throne. “You mustn’t over me, my love.”
“You seem distressed.” Caracalla teased beside you. “This is a festivity; you should be merry!”
All you did was smile and nod. It was a pleasant change from the parties you were forced to attend in the past; you weren’t the center of attention, and this was the first time Geta dressed you in the bright colors everyone else wore instead of white.
You could pretend you were royalty for a day.
Not so long after you came back, both Thraex and Macrinus, a stable master who traveled far and wide for new gladiators, approached with their own champions to fight.
You were not even at the Colosseum, and yet, violence still had to be played for everyone’s amusement.
Hanno entered from the door you had previously been at, and another man entered from the opposite side of the room. Both were given swords.
“Brother,” Hanno began. “let us not kill each other for their amusement-.”
The other man struck him without hesitation. You had seen fights before, but none like this. It was ruthless, quick yet drawn out. Hanno lost his sword in the middle of it all, leading to him smashing a flowerpot over his opponent’s head.
The fight was still not done, he rose up on his feet and took his sword from the ground, raising it high above him. Hanno, against all odds, knocked him back onto the ground and took the sword just as they both sood, stabbing his opponent in the chest.
A chorus of cheers and groans echoed in the room. Geta arose from his seat, laughing and applauding as you sat there, eyes as wide as they could be at the bloodied sight before you.
“Remarkable! Gladiator, which part of the Empire do you hail from?” He questioned Hanno. Hanno stood stoically, glaring at the emperors before him. Geta tutted, turning to you. “Julia, open your golden mouth and-.”
“-The gates of hell are open night and day.” Hanno interrupted in the common language. “Smooth the descent, and easy is the way: But to return, and view the cheerful skies, in this the task and mighty labor lies.”
Geta smiled. “Ah…a poet!”
The rest of the world fell away as you could not tear your gaze away from the man laying on the floor. If he hadn’t died from his wounds, he would’ve from choking on his own blood.
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“-You understand, don’t you?” Geta asked.
You sat in your own personal chambers that night for the first time in a while. You were never overjoyed to be in his bed, but being sent to your own perplexed you.
Then, he simply told you that you were to be General Acacius’ for the night.
“He’s sacrificed so much, my little Julia.” Geta combed his fingers through your hair to soothe you. “I refused him once already; I cannot do so again. Do you understand?”
The emperor had never shared you with anyone. He wasn’t delicate with you, but at least you knew what to expect.
He clenched your jaw. “I do not care to ask you a third time, girl.”
“Yes,” you squeaked. “I understand, Geta.”
Nodding, he softened his hold, leaning his head against yours. “You are still mine alone; I promise, it will only be us after tonight.”
You swallowed thickly. “Okay.”
“There she is.” He kissed your lips before pulling away and standing. “He will be in right away. Do not fret, I told him to be gentle with you.”
Geta left through your chamber doors without another word. There you were, sitting on your bed, draped in silks you should have known were given to you out of lust and not out of kindness. Your eyes trailed to the empty vase on a table beside your bed.
You didn’t know what possessed you that night, but you yanked it off the table, and smashed it on your bed. The handle of the door began to rattle. Quickly pushing the shattered pieces under your bed, you hid a shard behind your back and sat at the head of the bed.
In came General Marcus Acacius, wearing only a thin overshirt that went down to his knees. You’d done this game of seduction many times with Geta, how different could it be for him? Grabbing the bottom of your night dress, you raised it until it bunched up your thighs, revealing your bare center to him.
He took a hitched breath. “My lady-.”
“-What troubles you, general?” You asked then smiled with gritted teeth. You felt your hand begin to ache as you squeezed the vase shard.
Marcus furrowed his brow, and as if he already knew, he said. “Cover yourself and show me what is behind your back.”
Your eyes dropped along with your heart. Still, as his face turned into a scowl, you cooperated. Handing him the shard and quickly pulling your dress back down, you spoke with intensity.
“If you will not stab me before you rape my corpse, then I shall throw myself from the nearest window and allow the people of Rome to defile me. I will not lie on my back and take it anymore.”
He took a deep breath, holding the sorry excuse for a weapon in his hand. “It is unwise to tell the enemy your plans.”
…What?
“It would serve you greatly to control the faces you make before harming a man as well. Yet, above all,” He held the shard out to you. “your enemy is not afraid to kill you; you should feel the same.”
“Why do you tell me this?” You asked, still not believing it.
Marcus sat up. “I believe we can help each other, my little dove.”
“How?”
He lowered his voice. “You have heard of the gladiator Maximus, his dream of a free Rome, yes?”
“Yes.”
“A dream that cannot be obtained from the rule of two emperors.” He lamented. “My wife and I, along with several others, plan…to fulfill our shared dream.”
They were going to overthrow Geta and Caracalla.
“What gives you reason to believe I won’t say a word of this to them?” You asked.
He smiled for the first time since you’d seen him. “That freedom belongs to you.”
“I…I’m still lost. How will I be of any use?”
“Emperor Geta favors you considerably. He is a man, and not a cunning one at that. There are ways to wear foolish men down.”
You nodded, beginning to understand. “There’s always a woman.”
“There’s always a woman.” He solidified. “Gain the trust of the public; make them love you, and they will not see the emperor’s whore but a woman of the people.”
“And how will that dethrone them?
He smiled. “My wife and I will meet with the counsel tomorrow night. I will send for you.”
You scoffed. “Geta said that after tonight I am just his alone.”
“Then I’ll refuse to give him Persia and India.”
“He’ll have your head.” You berated. “Besides, I don’t think he’d believe my cunt would be worth two countries.”
Marcus shrugged. “Considering he only wants you to himself, I have no doubt that it is worth that much. But I am unable to confirm it.”
You sighed. “Even if he’ll allow it, he’ll send a guard with me.”
“I am not one to invite a third into the bedroom.”
“Then where shall-?”
“-Little dove,” he interrupted. “the city was not built in a day, therefore it cannot be emancipated in one.”
Gods help and forgive you for being impatient on wanting to be free. Still, you composed yourself. “Alright.”
He nodded, standing up. “I will be seeing you on the morrow, one way or another.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“For what, child?”
You swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze. “Not forcing yourself upon me.”
Marcus’ face softened, and he lowered himself to your height as you sat on the bed. He took your face into his hands, and you immediately tensed when his face drew closer to yours.
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “it’s not that kind of a kiss.”
With a tenderness that reminded you of your father, he placed his lips on your forehead and pulled away. Giving you one last knowing nod, he promptly left your chambers.
You wanted to do nothing more than shed tears of happiness, yet for no reason at all, you could not cry.
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Your father had only taken you to the Colosseum to watch mock animal hunting. Even when your friends invited you to watch gladiator fights or other public executions, he had found ways of making you stay far away from them.
There was a strange humor in sitting in the best chair for your very first gladiator duel. That being in the front as Emperor Geta ran his hand up and down your back.
In utter honestly, you tried to stray your attention away from the fights, speaking more with Caracalla of all people. He was more erratic than Geta by far, and it was more difficult to tell when he would be kind one moment, then out for blood the next.
Yet at least he was open about being cruel, unlike his brother.
When you would watch the fights…a familiar face seemed to catch both you and the general’s wife’s, Lucilla, eye.
The man with light skin yet hailed from Numidia…Hanno.
You hadn’t recognized him at first, for it wasn’t his mere presence that drew you to finally look at the event before you. No, it was the way he fought.
Most men previously had attacked with brute force; just stabbing the beast and hoping it would die. Hanno fought with wit. Simply using the sand beneath his feet as an advantage, blinding and tricking the rhinoceros to run directly into the wall.
He was cunning…he commanded the men beside him as if it weren’t the first time he’d done so in his life.
Then, when it came to deciding his fate when all seemed lost…Geta turned to you.
“My love,” he played with a strand of your hair. “shall I show the poet mercy, or bloodshed for your entertainment?”
Even if it weren’t Hanno, your answer would have been the same. “Mercy.”
As a hush fell over the crow, Geta rose his thumb up, sparing him. As cheers erupted, Hanno shook his head.
“No, no mercy.”
Geta furrowed his brow. “Gladiator, we have spared your life. No one refuses-.”
“-I would sooner face your blade than accept Roman mercy!”
Thus, the fight continued. An act of defiance…Peculiar…Quite peculiar.
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Both you and Marcus were correct about the night; Geta did indeed allow you to go to the general’s house, but only if you were escorted by a trusted guard. When you arrived, Marcus immediately draped you in a cloak, practically covering your face and had excused as not wanting the staff to tell his wife of who he was bringing into their house.
Marcus led you into his chambers, and there you saw two people. Apparently, they weren’t even apart of the counsel; simply paid to pretend to be both you and the general as the guard would listen outside, assume it was the two of you fucking.
He had certainly thought through every little detail.
Marcus pushed on a stone in his chambers, revealing a hidden door. You had only heard of these within stories, and as he led you down the darkened passage with only a torch in one hand, and the other holding yours, you had never felt more alive since your past life had been stolen.
You were welcomed to a room filled with dozens of the senate you had passed by in the palace. How strange it was to see them all huddled into a dimly lit room, plotting the demise of the men they initially swore to serve.
An arm looped through yours, and it was Lucilla. She whispered into your ear.
“Whatever you have to say, speak it to me, and I shall speak to them.”
You turned. “Why must I not speak for myself?”
“I only allowed you to be here if Marcus agreed to not let your voice be heard.”
“What?”
“I will explain more to you soon after, I vow it.”
Thus the meeting began. In all truthfulness, you were only able to understand the bare minimum: In a few days’ time, Marcus would lead five-thousand men into Rome to overtake the thrones of the empire, and thus destroy them, restoring the Roman Republic.
When the conversation turned to you, you were merely referred to as an informant who had the closest relationship to the emperor.
It still perplexed you as to why you needed to remain anonymous; there was an excellent chance they would know you as ‘Geta’s Favorite Whore’.
Yet, you did your best to inform the counsel of a plan you had simply created on the spot (they did not need to know the latter part of it).
You would gain more favor from the public, while at the same time, putting Geta’s worries to rest about any uprising or dislike from the majority of the empire.
How you would do that…it was fortunate that they didn’t ask you to give specifics.
Once the meeting ended, you were taken back up from the secret passage, yet instead of going back to the chambers, you felt Lucilla take your hand and lead you down another path.
You couldn’t even get a sound out before she said. “It is alright; he knows I want to speak with you in private. We will not take long.”
She led you up into the bath area of the house. It was quite beautiful; the tub wasn’t made of porphyry, but that did not make it any less exquisite. There was something about it being lesser of the baths you’ve had in the palace. It wasn’t entirely reminiscent of the one you had at home…
But you felt safer.
Lucilla had been gentle in pulling off your robes, and never once did it feel wrong. You were a woman and so was she. She never pulled or scratched your skin, and you knew that she only felt sorrow when she gazed upon the bruises and wounds you had received from Geta.
“How long have you been at the palace?” She questioned as she carded herbs through your hair.
You glanced at her, sighing. “I’ve stopped counting…months, I know.”
“Were you forced to leave any family? Brothers, sisters, children?”
“No. My mother died birthing me, and my father was taken half a year ago to an ailment emperor Caracalla also suffers from.”
She hummed. “Have you ever been in love?”
You laughed the most genuine laugh ever since you became a slave. “Why on earth would you ask that?!”
“I am merely curious!” She teased. “You are truly beautiful, and there is no doubt that men would throw themselves off cliffs for you; but it matters most of who you would choose.”
Her question scraped your mind. There had been times you were fond of, even lusted over, men both your age and older…but love? The only one you experienced would be storge; perhaps philia…but eros? Agape?
“I don’t think I have been.” You answered. “Have you?”
She nodded, a forlorn look in her eyes, but smile upon her mouth. “Twice.”
“Twice?” You couldn’t help the nervous giggle that left your throat. “It can happen twice?”
“It’s possible, yes.”
“And who have you willingly fell captive to?”
“Marcus is the most recent, though there are days I do not understand what he sees in me. Then…the father of my child.”
Lucilla poured water upon your head to wash out the soap in your hair, and a silence fell over both of you. One that was broken when you spoke a name.
“Lucius…”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“He-he had gone missing all those years ago, hadn’t he?”
“He had.” She ran the bar of soap over the top half of your body. “I believe he must’ve been around your age when he ran away.”
“And there hasn’t been any sign of him since?”
“No.” She answered right away.
You curled into yourself. “I apologize if I upset you my lady-.”
“-No. I…I love talking about him.”
You managed a gentle smile to soothe her. “What was he like?”
“Headstrong.” She chuckled. “Wanted to become a gladiator more than anything in the world. Yet, he was gentle, and kind as well. He…I believe he would’ve adored you.”
You shook your head. “Maybe when we were children, but I don’t think so now.”
“It’s hard to judge.”
Whilst the air between you turned into more intimate topics, the question that had weighed on your mind was brought to light. “Why did you not allow me to speak or show my face tonight?”
Lucilla stopped her ministrations. You looked up at her, and the look she wore bore an exhaustion that you had felt recently.
“I know too well the cruelties of men.” She began softly. “My brother had done everything to keep me from ever resisting him…he had done everything. I had only wished for someone to be there with me at every moment when I faced his abuse.”
Words; simple words that meant everything to you was what made you weep.
There was no warning at all. Once she was finished, tears sprang to your eyes, and you felt your sinus clog up. Even as you tried to tear yourself away from her comfort, she merely wrapped her arms around you in an embrace from a mother you had never felt.
“I don’t want to go back.” You begged. “Please don’t let me.”
She kissed your hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“No!” You sobbed. “I-I don’t want to! Please, please, you can’t make me. I-I-I-!”
Lucilla shushed you, rocking you back and forth. “Do not weep. You will be free beside all of Rome, and the past months of your life will be nothing more than a distant, horrible dream.”
You pulled away just enough to look at her. “You-you must promise me something.”
“My child-.”
“-Promise me and I shall help you overthrow them until my last dying breath!”
She stared for a moment before nodding. “Yes. What is it?”
Your lip quivered. “When I die, you must bind my legs with chains or ropes when you bury me. I have,” you whimpered. “I have been told of men who dig up the bodies of girls and…”
Lucilla kissed your forehead before holding you once more. “I vow I will honor your wishes.”
All you could do was believe her.
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There were more times than not the Emperor Geta would talk about filling you with his seed as he bedded you. You never were able to discern if he was serious about wanting to give you a child (they would be his, not yours).
It all became too real when you didn’t bleed that month.
Yet, you also did not feel sick in the morning, and your breasts hadn’t swelled. You still had urinated on wheat seeds for several weeks, but they had not sprouted.
You weren’t with child…yet there was nothing stopping you from convincing Rome you were. It would certainly be a risk; for there was no telling how Geta would react. But that was a risk you were willing to take.
Once a week, you were allowed to go outside the palace during the day, and you had chosen then to venture out into the numerous markets. It was nice to speak with the merchants you knew from your childhood. Some were elders who would watch over you when your father was busy, others were friends who had grown up with you.
“Now what would a little empress want with commoner’s food?” A man’s low timbre voice asked behind you.
Turning your head, you saw Macrinus standing before you with a curious grin. You mirrored it. “That’s not an appropriate title for me.”
“Ah, you are correct.” He nodded. “My apologies, ‘Lady with The Golden Mouth’. Or do you prefer ‘Rome’s Delight?’.”
“You may call me whatever you wish if you’d like.” You forced a laugh and turned back to the merchant you had known since you were a babe. “I’ll take a sack of wheat and small bag of garlic, Gaius.”
“Of course, lady Julia.”
Not even a childhood friend could say your real name. A tight smile formed upon your lips when he turned to sack the wheat before you. Macrinus spoke again.
“You still didn’t answer me about why you’re exactly here.”
“I am not an empress.” You turned to him. “I am not a queen from another realm, I am not even a lady. I am a lowly whore that was fortunate enough to be chosen by the emperor. I like to keep my own schedule from before, so I am aloud to bake my own bread.”
He hummed. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Gaius handed you the sack of wheat and garlic, and you held out three silver coins. He shook his head. “No, just a copper-.”
“-Please.” Was all you said.
He hesitated, then took them from you, smiling. “May Fortuna rain a thousand blessings upon your head.”
“And unto you as well.” You curtsied and turned on your heel to leave.
Macrinus walked beside you. “How generous you are.”
“I try to be.” You decided to change the topic. “You are in charge of Hanno, are you not?”
“I certainly am, why do you ask?”
“Just out of interest.” You shrugged. “There is talk of him being similar to the one Maximus from years ago. Many admire him already and it has only been a day.”
Macrinus laughed. “It is my duty to entertain the people. I noticed though that you are more prudish of the games.”
“I must admit, I am not used to the violence.”
“A sheltered girl?”
“Ashamedly so.”
“There is no shame at all. So, it is the Numidian that has captured your affection?” He teased. “How scandalous for the young empress to fall for a slave.”
You chuckled. “Nothing of the sort, I just find him amusing.”
“Oh, I am more than happy to let you see him alone if you ever so desire. You don’t need to wander upon him at another party.”
Your carefree air fell once he asked that. “I don’t know what you-.”
“-It’s alright.” He interrupted. “There’s nothing wrong with being curious, I am only concerned for your own safety.”
You stood taller, a shy smile upon your lips. “I am capable of taking care of myself, sir.”
“Of course my lady, why else would you be out here in the streets of commoners without a chaperone?”
Purposefully, you turned onto one of the crowded piazzas where the music and laughter was the loudest. You grinned from ear to ear.
“Oh please, don’t tell me you volunteered yourself to keep me safe.”
He laughed. “No, just wanted to say hello.”
You didn’t have time to respond, as one of the performers had recognized you. Ah, a girl that lived in the house across from yours when you were children! You still remembered her name, and after you passed your belongings to Macrinus, she pulled you into the circle of performers, dancing with you.
You laughed the most you had that year; in fact, you swore your bruised your ribs just from the sheer joy you felt. You don’t know how long you danced and sang with those who were your neighbors and friends, but just as you felt your feet begin to give out, Macrinus put his hand on your shoulder.
“I believe you should go back to the palace and rest.”
Nodding, you said farewell to your companions and took the bag of wheat and garlic back from him. “You are right, thank you so much.”
He grinned. “Let me escort you back.”
“No,” you walked ahead of him. “I wish not to bother you anymore. Good day, Macrinus!”
You lost yourself in the crowd, purposefully making it harder for him to follow. Once you were in the palace, you rushed into the kitchen, holding the sack of wheat behind your back, you greeted the cooks and snuck into the small pantry. You set the sack down on a shelf and pocketed two single reeds, along with an onion.
That night, Geta had called you into his chambers. Before going, you had cut the onion and brought it to hover around your eyes. You were crying by the time you were at his door. Immediately, he took notice of your reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
“What is it, what’s wrong?”
You shook your head, only crying more. It was less because of the onion now, and just everything coming down crashing onto your shoulders once more. Geta pulled you into his chambers by your shoulders, sitting you on the bed.
“Tell me now what is bothering you.” He commanded.
You shook your head. “I-I can’t-.”
“-Now, Julia!”
Taking a deep breath, you reached into the pocket of your breast, taking out the two reeds and setting it in his hand. He furrowed his brows.
“I do not understand.”
You took a deep breath. “The handmaids have given me wheat and barley seeds ever since I have arrived. If they grow, then that means…that means I am with child.”
The look on his face spoke it all. You were certain you were dead.
“I-I didn’t know how you would feel, and-and so I-.”
He crushed you in an embrace, attaching his lips to your jaw. “Jupiter has blessed me.”
It was the first time you felt happiness in his presence. Of course, not because of him, but still joy. You returned his embrace, sighing in relief. “You are happy?”
“Happy?” He pulled away, holding your face in his hands. “There is nothing in this world that could sadden me right now. I will have an heir.”
As long as it was a boy (if it were real at all).
You feigned your smile and leaned into his touch. “I am fortunate to give you one.”
“And I am most fortunate to have you.” He laid down and brought you with him.
Perhaps, in another life, he was kind to you and didn’t only value you until you gave him a child. Perhaps you would be in love with him, and he would make you empress
But you weren’t fortunate to be born into that fantasy.
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You wished nothing more than to sit with Marcus and Lucilla as you made your way into the emperor’s booth of the Colosseum. The three of you had managed to speak to one another, but only about meaningless things. Still, you just enjoyed their company.
 It would be more exciting that day. A naval battle, the Naumachia. The arena was filled with water and sea creatures you could never even possibly imagine. It was a wonder in and of itself how all the ships managed to fit themselves in the arena.
“Caracalla,” you said to the brother beside you as you were about to take your seat. He looked up upon hearing his name. You handed him the bag filled with garlic. “I finally found some for you.”
He grinned from ear to ear. “And you say that if I mix this with myrrh, I shall be cured?”
“It should treat the lesions on your skin.” You corrected. “This is what I did for my father.”
He died of the same ailment, but Caracalla didn’t ask; simply smiled. “Thank you, dear sister.”
You nodded, sitting down on the arm of Geta’s throne that would have put you in the middle of him and his brother. He wrapped his arm around you.
“You’ve been far kinder these days.” Geta pointed out.
“Perhaps that means I’ll be the most agreeable mother.” You jested, kissing his cheek.
He smirked, and as the man on the far end of the Colosseum began to announce the games, Geta stood up and rose his grail.
“I would like to propose a toast!” He yelled. The crowd fell silent, and you felt your skin crawl away from you. Geta continued. “To the health of wives and to mothers. Especially to my lover, Julia, who carries my son the moment as we speak!"
An eruption of applause and cheers filled the stadium. You blushed upon the praise, and genuinely wanted to hide yourself from the gaze of everyone; especially the ones closest to you. You could feel both Marcus and Lucilla’s eyes on you, attempting to hide their shock and perhaps horror. The worst was that of Macrinus.
He knew. Just from the look of him (or perhaps it was your own paranoia), but he had to have known from the moment you bought the wheat.
Still, they all applauded, and ones the excitement of your supposed pregnancy died down, the enthusiasm for the battle was born.
It was perhaps the one event you could stomach. While you could still clearly see men dying, it wasn’t as horribly bloody as the prior. Were you becoming numb to the cruelty of these games because you were pretending…or were you letting the game invade your head?
As several ships collided within the growing chaos, men would either die from their fellow man or would simply fall into the water and be devoured by beasts you had never seen until then. Your eyes had been following Hanno the whole time, whether purposefully or not.
Words could not describe the terror that had been brought upon you as you saw him aim his crossbow at the booth you sat in.
You did not think the arrow would pierce you, but it did. It longed into your right shoulder, and a cry you had no idea you were capable of making tore through your throat.
Tears blinded your vision, but the screams from the whole arena deafened your ears you could not even hear what Geta was saying to you.
You could barely make out Marcus’ in front of you as he snapped the body of the arrow and then hoisted you into his arms. You’d never been carried like this as a woman; only as a child by your father.
The heat of Rome felt hotter that day as the pain in your shoulder only grew tighter and tighter as if your skin was going to stretch away from you. The next thing you knew, you were laid upon a cold, solid surface, and sound returned to your ears.
“It’s alright, you’re alright.” Geta shushed, brushing your hair. “You’ll be okay.”
Someone stuck their fingers into your wounded shoulder, and you could only scream. A tender hand laid itself on your cheek, and just from touch alone, you knew it was Lucilla.
“Do not touch her!” Geta hissed, swatting her away.
“No, no!” You whined, reaching out and holding onto her.
Lucilla dropped to her knees, kissing every part of skin that was available, mumbling. “I know, I know. This too shall pass, you are stronger than you believe, my dear.”
Then, just like that, you felt the arrowhead leave your body. The pain was still excruciating beyond belief, but all that was left was for your arm to be wrapped in cloth, and to rest.
One of the guards in charge of the gladiators approached you when you were finally able to sit up.
“My lady,” he began. “did you happen to get a look at the man who shot you?”
“She’s only starting to recover!” Geta snapped. “How dare you. She carries my child, and-!”
“-It’s alright, Geta.” You soothed.
You could’ve done it. Told him with full confidence that it was Hanno. There would have been your chance of power; to kill the man who had nearly killed you.
Yet…you were vindictive and wanted to do it yourself.
“I have no memory.” You told him. “It happened so fast.”
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How horrible it is that Geta would stop forcing you to pleasure him only when you were supposedly with his child and injured. You assumed that if you were suffering from only one of those ailments, than he still would’ve held you down and used you.
You thought nothing else would happen that night. You would simply speak to one another, pretending to be completely enamored by his existence, and then lie down to sleep.
Of course, that would be too peaceful.
You were awoken gently, to your surprise, by Geta shaking you. Humming, you rubbed your eyes. “What is it?”
“The general and his whore wife.” He gritted his teeth. “They planned to kill us.”
You shot right up, forgetting about your injured shoulder, and let out a cry. Geta helped you stand, and that was when you saw Caracalla standing before you, his monkey companion Dundus perching upon his shoulder.
“How-how do we know?” You stammered, not having to feign your terror.
Neither of them answered, and the three of you were led out into the throne room. There before you in their night clothes just as you were, Lucilla and Marcus.
Geta approached them first, seething. “The honor, the dignitas that Rome has bestowed upon you. All this you have forfeited by your treachery. Thanks to the civic virtue of men like Macrinus and Thraex your insurrection has been revealed-.”
 “-Torture me if you want,” Marcus shook his head. “but please, don’t lecture me.”
Geta’s face turned almost as red as his hair. “Your name and deeds will be forgotten, lost to history! You are damned to oblivion!”
“You damn me?” He laughed. “I don’t care. Everything is forgotten in time. Empires fall… and so do Emperors.”
Caracalla rose from his seat, reaching for his brother’s sword. “Why wait? I'll gut him right now!”
Geta grabbed onto him. “Brother! Brother! His death must be public.”
“Public, yes. Hang his entrails from the city gates!” He pointed at Lucilla. “Crucify her!”
“No!”
All eyes fell on you after your outburst. Even you froze in place, feeling bile begin to rise up within you. Geta let go of Caracalla. “‘No?’ You say? What would you have me do then?”
Swallowing thickly, it was hard to speak as tears began to fall. You held your stomach. “Crucifixion is…it’s…”
His face dropped into a scowl. “You aren’t saying I should let them live, are you?”
“No-!”
“-Then which is it?!”
Your voice fell silent as your chest constricted, and you could barely breathe. Your mouth would move, but nothing came out; not even strangled noises of desperation.
“If I may, your grace,” Macrinus stepped forward. “I believe she means to bring equal punishments to the crimes committed.”
Geta furrowed his brow. “I do not know what you speak of.”
“Please, let the rest of them out of the room so I might explain more clearly.’
He considered his words, then turned to his guards. “The criminals to the dungeons, my brother to his chambers, and my love-.”
“-I wish to be alone tonight.” You stated.
The emperor scoffed. “What?”
“The babe.” You began. “I-I have helped many women deliver their children, and what has always caused an early birth is stress. I-I cannot take any-anymore of it, or I fear…”
Finally, he took in the sight of your fearful face. Sighing heavily, he said. “Put my lady in her chambers for tonight.”
“Thank you.” You kissed his hand.
You were led into your own chambers, and once the door was shut, you threw yourself onto your bed and wept. You wept until you were wailing into the night, you wept until your eyes were as red as the sun in the morning, you wept until it hurt to continue to do so…
It was unknown how long you had cried, but the opening of your bedroom door is what alarmed you. Snapping your head over in the direction, you were shocked to see Macrinus.
“The general and his wife’s fate has been decided.” He stated.
You held a pillow to your chest, rubbing your reddened nose. “And what is it?”
“The emperor has chosen to let the gods decide, and Acacius will fight against Hanno tomorrow in the arena.”
“You mean you convinced him to.” You glared.
Macrinus approached you. “May I try some of the bread you have baked, my lady?”
You held no confusion when he asked you that. Surprise, yes; but you knew what he asked. You took a deep breath. “I believe I don’t understand.”
“The wheat you bought only days ago.” He reminded. “You said you would bake your own bread. Surely, you didn’t use it as false proof of you carrying the emperor’s heir?”
You didn’t dare look at him. Even when he laid his hand on our back, rubbing circles over your nightdress. “I wish to help you, my child. You must be willing to help me first.”
That was why he also didn’t alert Geta of your betrayal…unless, he had no idea of your alliance with Marcus and Lucilla.
“What is it that you want?” You asked.
“All in time.” He soothed. “I wish to give you the privilege to speak to someone.”
You finally looked at him, your eyes wide. “General Acacius?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I am unable to escort you to the dungeons below the palace. Yet, I can take you to the pit of gladiators.”
“It is easier for you to take me out of the palace than below it?”
“Take you to the man who nearly overthrew the emperors?” He chuckled bitterly. “Not possible. I cannot grant you the gift to say goodbye, but I can allow you to bargain for his life.”
You blinked. “Hanno?”
“Correct.”
“How can I leave the palace at this hour, after what has just happened?”
“You underestimate the silence men will take when it is weighed in gold.” He tutted. “I can only give you ten minutes with him. Will you go or not?”
You were forced to decide quickly…This could be your chance. He had nearly took your life the other day, and the pain in your shoulder was just a growing reminder of that. If he were dead…there was no way you could overtake him.
Yet, you learned that, in a world of men, you didn’t have to be stronger than them: Only smarter, and faster.
“I will go.”
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You had hidden a kitchen knife under your bed the moment you had your own chambers. Geta had gifted you several colorful ribbons he loved to see you wear in your hair. He perhaps did not expect you to tie one around your waist under your gown, securing the knife.
Macrinus led you swiftly from the palace to the gladiator pit, which was thankfully not a long walk. You ignored the stares and intrigued calls from the other men as you treaded the halls. You were stopped by a door. Macrinus didn’t even warn Hanno who stood shirtless in his cell, only opened the door and let you enter.
“I’ll rattle the door when it’s time.” That was all he said and left.
Hanno didn’t even seem alarmed. “And what is Rome’s Delight doing here?”
Your blood boiled upon seeing him, yet you remained calm. “I have come to make a bargain; a plea.”
That was when the puzzlement appeared on his face. “And what is that?”
“The man you will fight tomorrow, you must spare him.”
“Why should I?”
Your grief and despair had made itself known to everyone around you for the past few days; yet, in that cell, only with Hanno as your witness, did he see your rage.
“He is the one who saved my life when you meant to steal it!”
The only change you saw in him was his jaw clenching. Other than that, nothing. “The general?”
You only nodded.
He sighed, brushing past you and shaking the door. “Macrinus!”
“What are you doing?” You hissed.
“I will not have you waste your breath on that man.”
“I will give you anything you desire.”
Hanno faced you. “Then you can deliver his head on a platter for me.”
You gawked as he walked away.  “What have I ever done to you?”
“What?”
“Do you truly hate me that much?!” You turned back to him, getting closer. “Kill the man that is the reason I am still here?”
The last thing you thought you would hear left his lips: A laugh. No, not a genuine one. One that you yourself have released on multiple occasions when you have been in disbelief.
“You truly believe everything that happens is because of you?” He taunted. “Has the emperor been filling your mind with so many delusions of grandeur, you can no longer conceive a world where you are not the center of it?”
“Is it so difficult for you to answer my question because you are a fool, or because you wish to not admit it?” You hardened your tone.
“What is your question, my empress?”
“Why did you shoot me?!”
“The arrow was not meant for you!”
You felt your shoulders drop upon the confession. Your aggression ceased only because of your bewilderment.
“Then who?” You asked.
He backed away. “The general you so wish to defend.”
“Whatever it is that he has done, it can be solved with-.”
“-He murdered my wife.”
Hanno said it so easily. No pain, no rage, nothing. It was a fact, and that was what he wanted you to know.
And how stupid you had been. No one in all of Rome was pure of heart; including Marcus. He was a war general; how could you think he wouldn’t have committed sins against the innocent?
“Why so silent, my lady?” He asked. “Are you in disbelief that he has enemies?”
“I didn’t know that.” You admitted.
“That the general is too a monster, or that he killed the only thing in my life worth living for?”
“And that is your desire?” You prodded. “Take his life so that he may die knowing his wife will be ravaged by wolves?”
When he charged at you, you barely had enough time to reach in your dress and unsheathe your knife. Hanno stopped himself just in time for the tip to kiss his chest. Nothing to cause any more harm than a scratch.
Even though you were not the one hurt, you breathed as if you were. He stared down at you as you shrunk under his gaze, and the two of you remained frozen. That is, until he grabbed both your wrists, and rose them above your head.
“I am only merciful because the general still breathes.” He spoke so only you could hear. “If your bastard of a lover had put him to the sword this night you chose to visit me, you would be dead before you could scream.”
Your nose was an inch from his, that was how close he stood to you. His breath caressed your skin, and you turned away in disgust. He let go of your empty wrist, yet still held the one with the dagger.
“Did you believe you could kill me tonight?” He asked, yet you said nothing. Hanno then brought the dagger to his breastbone, angling it upward. “Do not stab head on; stab up.”
Silence and an iron gaze was your reply.
He then hovered it to the pulse point of his neck. “If you want a quick death, right here; with a thinner blade, preferably.”
Then, he placed the tip just above his brow. “If you need information out of a rat, and you have the stomach to do so, drag it across. It will make the mightiest of men cry like a child in the night.”
“You are clever and a skilled warrior,” you finally said. “what is it you want me to tell you?”
“That you will leave it up to the gods and to me if your general lives or not.”
“But I cannot.” You dared to dig the blade just a little into his skin, and his breath hitched. “My desire for him to live is stronger than for you to die.”
Hanno finally let go of your wrist, and you immediately retracted the knife from his brow. “So do you wish to try again to kill me?”
“I wish for you to show mercy.”
“Mercy?” He questioned. “Mercy upon the man who pillaged my home and killed my wife? Mercy for the one who has made me a slave?”
“I too am a slave and-.”
“-And?!” He cried. “And there is nothing! You are draped in silks whilst I in chains and are bathed in clear waters while I in blood, yet you say we are the same?!”
You swallowed your anger, knowing it would bring you nowhere. “You entertain the horrid creatures of Rome; I am forced to pleasure the emperor. We perform differently, but we are still slaves.”
“You are with child.” He stated. “Will that child also be a slave though the emperor is quick to claim it is his heir?”
The crackling of the torches in the room only added to the fire th in your soul. If not contained correctly, you would surely burn and take him with you.
 “A child…yes.” You relaxed, folding your hands. “A child that I could command to be Geta’s. Perhaps, if I wanted to have the brothers slaughter one another, I could say it belongs to Caracalla. Or, if I despised you anymore than I do at this moment…I could say that it is yours.”
Hanno’s eyes dropped in recognition, saying softly. “You carry an empty womb.”
You nodded. “It is the same as your honor.”
Moments later, the door behind you rattled, and Macrinus spoke even when you didn’t. “The time is up, my little empress.”
You bowed your head to Hanno, curtsying. “Sleep well.”
He said nothing in reply, and you turned on our heel, leaving the cell. You pulled your hood back over your head as Macrinus led you through the darkened streets of the city.
“Did you get what you came for?” He asked.
“No.” Was your immediate reply. “And I do not know truly what I wanted.”
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The day was as blistering hot as the others, yet the stare Lucilla gave you as she was being led into the emperor’s viewing box made your blood turn to ice. There was not a hint of wrath upon her face; there was nothing at all.
She already looked as if her soul had been stolen.
“How does your shoulder fair, dear sister?” Caracalla brushed his fingers over your arm.
A watery smile was upon your lips like second nature. “It still aches, but it heals, thank the gods. And your overall health?”
He sighed. “I do not know how much longer I have upon this earth.”
“Do not say such things.” You squeeze his hands. “If the gods will it, you shall live for another hundred years.”
He kissed your hands that held his. “I hope so, my love.”
Your grin fell upon the title, and Geta immediately sat you down on the chair behind him that was beside Lucilla’s. He gave an apologetic look.
“He only grows more confused by the day.” He caressed your cheek. “You are well?”
You were far from it, but you could not say that. “Your son feels better now.”
Geta smiled, lowering his head down to kiss your womb. “He will need all his strength.”
The announcer on the other side of the arena yelled to gain everyone’s attention. “From the vanquished city of Numidia, the victor of three contests in the Colosseum, the barbarian Hanno!”
You watched as he ran up from the pit, sword in hand. On the other side, you watched at they brought in Marcus. You could barely look at his already beaten figure. The announcer continued. “Will challenge General Marcus Acacius for his treason against the lives of the Emperors and the enemy of the State!”
The two approached one another on the sandy field. Even from where you sat, so close to them, you could barely make out the look in their eyes. You assumed their was hatred, but your own eyes must have deceived you, because you swore you saw a hint of regret within Marcus’ own gaze.
You blinked and the battle between the two had begun. It was a different level of insanity at how they fought. Marcus was decades older than Hanno, and yet, there were moments where the Numidian had to keep up with him.
Than, the roles would be reversed.
Blood stained the floor of the Colosseum as they fought. Then, when all feel silent between them, and Marcus could barely stand, his lips moved as he spoke to Hanno, then raised his hand.
He yielded.
The patrons of the arena began to mumble amongst themselves, growing louder and louder. Geta rose to his feet. “Romans! What say you?”
In an instant, choruses begging him to be spared overpowered the few that wanted him to be killed. Geta shut his eyes, raising his hand, and they were silenced.
“The gods have rendered their judgement.”
His thumb pointed downward, and the crowd erupted in dissent. Your heart was forcing itself to beat out of your chest as you could only stare at the sight of Hanno glaring down at the general before him.
He tossed his sword to the side.
You hadn’t even noticed Caracalla stood until you heard him yell. “Kill him, kill him!” Like an angered child.
“Is this how Rome treats its heroes?!” Hanno shouted, staring at the audience all around him and pointing his sword. “If his life has no value, what are yours worth?”
Geta stepped up onto the barrier, balancing between the viewing box and a fifteen-foot drop into the arena. He held his arms out to his side, his sleeves dropping to the ground, and his pale face was red. “The gods have spoken! Kill him!”
From all sides of the stadium, hundreds of archers aimed their bows at the center of the battleground. Yet, none fired. Caracalla jeered.
“In the name of Jupiter, kill him!”
The arrows were released, and they screamed like none other as they fired into the center. As they pierced Marcus’ body, you did not know you had been wailing in fright until Geta had slapped you.
“You mewling cunt!” He cursed. “You wish to weep over the man who nearly had you killed?”
Blood fell upon your tongue from your bruised lip, and you did not dare to look at him nor Lucilla.
“Death will be too good for you!” She cried with all of her heart.
The noise from the crowd died as if the people themselves had done so. Then, just like the confused murmurs when Marcus yielded, the same began to grow and grow into a call of rebellion.
It was all in your ears. Lucilla’s weeping, the curses from the crowd, the panic of the emperors…but you stood absolutely still.
With hooded eyes, they drifted up to see that Geta stood just on the edge of the barrier, his back turned to you. Your gaze fell to the ground below you, and it was only then you realized how high up you truly were.
You do not know who or what willed you to, but you then looked at Hanno still the center, covered in blood. As if he knew what you would do, he shook his head.
“Ah, ah, ah.” Macrinus grabbed your arm roughly when you took one step towards Geta.
The emperors turned to him upon his appearance, and Macrinus loosened his grip on you before saying. “For our safety’s sake, we should leave.”
“Yes.” Geta stepped down, wrapping his arms around you. “We should.”
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You never knew there was a safe house in Rome until you were forced into it. Perhaps that was the reason for it being a safe house, so that no one knew of it. Yet, apparently, almost all of the roman citizens found it that night. Or, they were simply rioting wherever a free patch of land was.
The cries played in your ears despite them being behind heavy walls of the safe house, and you dared not to peek out the windows as the several fires would temporarily blind you. In the house was you, Macrinus, Dondus (Caracalla’s pet monkey, although he’d call him his other half), and the twin emperors.
“How is the babe?” Geta asked as you sat with your head hanging low.
Of course he would ask that. You didn’t look at him. “He is in fear for his life.”
“I understand,” he sighed. “but there-.”
“-But what?” You finally looked at him, hissing. “Chaos has fallen upon the city because of your actions.”
“There was nothing else to do.” Geta glared at you. “He and his bitch were plotting to kill us! If I’d let him live-.”
“-Don’t you hear them?” Caracalla cried out from his seat, holding Dondus. “They’re calling for our heads! She is right, you brought this upon us!”
Geta placed his hands on him. “Calm yourself, brother. The Praetorians will put down this crowd like they have others-.” The money upon Caracalla’s shoulder chirped out in anxiousness from the people outside. “Keep the ape still!”
“Beware of how you speak to Dondus!” His brother berated.
“Perhaps,” Macrinus finally intervened. “you should take Dondus and Julia elsewhere. The noise outside is too much for them; you should comfort one another someplace quieter.”
Caracalla nodded, gathering up Dondus and moving to help you stand, but Macrinus reached his hand out first. You took it, and as you stood, he said into your ear.
“I will find you on the right side of the hall.”
This was not the time nor place for riddles, but you could not react in any sort of way. You looped our arm through Caracalla’s and walked out of the room, hoping to find somewhere quieter.
“I’m afraid,” you confided in him, truthfully.
“I am as well.” Was all he could say.
You stopped in the middle of the hall once he found an open door. “I…I need time with my own thoughts. Please.”
He nodded, cradling Dondus closer to his chest before entering the room, shutting the door tightly. Within the minute, you watched as Macrinus approached you from the other side of the hall.
You spat. “What do you want?”
���I know I stole your moment of vengeance, and for that, I apologize.” He stood before you. “But let me make it up to you.”
“How could you possibly?”
From his cloak, he brandished a knife, holding the handle out to you. You took it without hesitation, yet question was still upon your face. “I do it myself?”
“You could,” he shrugged. “or, you could have his own brother do so.”
“Caracalla? He is senile.”
“Then I have a proposition for you.” Macrinus pointed to the door Caracalla was behind. “Convince him that Geta will destroy all of you if he is not disposed of. Convince him that, as the new emperor of Rome, he will need more trusting subjects. I shall be his second in command, and you shall be free.”
You furrowed your brow. “Who shall be first?”
“The monkey.” He smirked. “Do you believe he would put me above him?”
It sounded so simple; too simple. Yet, as the crowd began to die down, and you could no longer hear their protests from outside, the quietness brought to you what you had always known: You would never be your own person again so long as Geta breathed.
You held the dagger to your heart, saluting him. “I shall do my duty.”
He nodded. “May the gods be with you when you do, Brutus.”
An insult to most, and while it shocked you, you took it in stride as you stood outside the door. You made yourself look smaller, more afraid, and hid the dagger within your cloak as you entered the room.
There, sitting upon the floor, was Caracalla and Dondus. Like a scared child, he held the monkey close to him, grooming one another as if it was the only thing to bring comfort.
“Caracalla?” You whispered.
He stared up at you, and you noticed he had been crying. Immediately, you sat before him, bringing him into your arms.
“Nothing was ever mine.” He cried, embracing you. “Everything was ‘ours’, always. Even in the womb, he gripped the umbilicus in his tiny fist to deprive me of air.”
“He did?”
“Certainly, one cannot forget.”
You pulled away only to hold his face tenderly in your hands. “You must listen to me, for what I tell you is dire. Your brother wishes to blame you before the Senate; for what happened, for the chaos in the streets-.”
“-That is a lie!” He tore himself from you. “I didn’t do it!”
“I know that, but they don’t. No testimony is more damning than that of a brother against another.”
“He lies! He always lies!” He sobbed.
“He’s very persuasive.”
“What will they do to me?”
“I don’t dare imagine, but…gods above, I don’t wish to know what they will do to Dondus.”
His jaw quivered with the rest of his body. “What-what shall we do?"
You sighed. “I…I have a proposition, but it is most outrageous and-.”
“-Julia,” he begged, grabbing your hands. “dear, sweet sister, please tell me.”
Breath shuttering, you reached into your cloak and held the blade out to him. “Slay your brother tonight. You shall be crowned the sole emperor of Rome when morning comes, and Dondus, the child I carry, and I will be safe.'
He took it, yet still had that look of terror. “This…It has always been he who led everything. I do not know who to trust or-or who to command.”
“Then let me-.” You stopped yourself, eyeing the monkey that lay at his legs. You held your hand out to him, and Dondus climbed into your arms. “Let us help you. Claim Dondus as your first in command, and I your second.”
You wished the same as Lucilla and Marcus; to have Rome be a free empire. Yet, you would have to free Lucilla yourself before that happened.
Caracalla nodded yet said. “You-you are with child. You will become delirious as time progresses.”
And he was the epitome of having a clear mind.
“I will need a third.” He settled.
You shook your head. “That has never been done before-.”
“-I will be emperor!” He screamed. “If it is to be done, it shall be done!”
Raising your hands in surrender, you pleaded. “It shall, it shall! For a third…Macrinus. He has been loyal and informed us of the general’s betrayal.”
“Yes, yes Macrinus will do.” He grabbed your face and pressed his lips against yours. It didn’t even truly feel like a kiss, yet it shocked you nonetheless. “You are the wisest woman I have ever met, dear sister.”
You nodded, forcing a smile. With that, he stood on his feet and left the room. IT would have been easy to stay in there and wait for his return…
Yet, you wanted to be the last thing Emperor Geta saw.
No fear toiled within your body as you approached the throne room, not even when you hear the cries that you knew belonged to Geta. You walked through the doors, watching as Geta held his hands up in fear, begging his brother to spare his life as he was forced onto his knees, trying to stop the knife in Caracalla’s hand.
“I love you!” Geta squealed, staring up at him through tears “You are my brother, I love you!”
You moved to stand behind the younger twin, glaring at the man before you. Geta’s eyes dropped in relief.
“My love, my love, please help me!”
There was nothing uncertain about how you grabbed Caracalla’s hand that held the dagger. With eyes unblinking, you guided the blade into Geta’s throat, pushing it further and further as blood drained from his mouth.
The emperor was dead, and you would sleep like a child once more that night.
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There was something inside of you when you awoke that morning. Not the child you had lied to all of Rome about; it felt like a parasite. You threw up an hour after you woke up, but when you checked with the healers, they said that there was nothing ailing you.
Was it…guilt? No, no it could not be.
Was it possible to feel guilt for the act of killing someone, but not feeling it for who was killed?
You had no time to debate these issues as if you were a philosopher.
Dressed in your finest silks, you made way into the room where the hundreds of senators met, carrying a hefty sack beside you. You sat in a chair next to Macrinus.
“You have done well.” He said softly.
You smiled. “Only because of you.”
Your gaze turned to Caracalla, who sat in one of the two thrones that were there for him and Geta. He looked like the worst you had ever seen him be. A blood rag had been placed at his feet.
“Now I am the only one.” He began, voice low. “I was the true us, and he was the false me. We were always ‘we,’ all our lives, but now I am only I, me, alone.”
The senators look at one another in silent terror. The only ones to not feel fear were you and Macrinus.
Caracalla continued. “My hand held the blade, but my father’s hand guided mine. I was the puppet, dancing on his string. As Emperor, I have convened the Senate to appoint my First Consul and bestow upon him the power to administer the military and civic functions of the Empire.”
He tossed his hand to the second thrown, revealing his fury companion. “I name Citizen Dondus!”
Where the senators were beyond terrified, they were now confused. Macrinus was the first to rise, applauding. “Hail Dondus!”
You repeated his sentiment, clapping with vigor. Caracalla and the rest of the mortified senators applauded all repeating ‘Hail Dondus!’.
Once the excitement died down, Caracalla resumed. “As is custom, I am naming a Second Consul to advise the First and to assure his integrity. Though you will find that Dondus is incorruptible! As Second Consul, I name…”
Macrinus took one step forward.
“The mother of the future heir to the throne, Julia!”
All eyes fell upon you, standing taller than you ever had done in your life. How strange it was though, that the same reaction to a monkey being assigned first in command, was to you, a woman.
Utter silence, until Caracalla applauded enthusiastically. Like sheep, the senators followed; all but Macrinus.
“Yet, as mother to the heir,” the emperor said after finishing. “it is apparent she shall be incompetent for majority of her advising. So, for the first time in the history of Rome, I name Citizen Macrinus as my third!”
Even with this third twist in a counsel, the senators seemed more so relieved at the decision. Macrinus did not smile or even acknowledge the honor, simply stared ahead. Caracalla gathered Dondus in his arms.
“There will be a triumphal parade to celebrate. There will be games and mass executions! Long live the Empire!”
“Long live the Emperor!” You and the senators all yelled.
The Emperor Caracalla carried the First Consul Dondus sweepingly out of the hall, to the Senate’s terrified silence. You picked up the sack that had been beside you this whole time, then making your way to the center of the room.
You opened the sack, and out fell Geta’s decapitated head. The Senate gasped and gagged at the sight of the former emperor’s head. You almost felt sorry for the horror they felt that whole time. Yet, there horror is what would bring you fortune.
“This is what befell your emperor.” You pointed to the head at your feet. “He was slaughtered by the one who shared a womb with him. Tell me, senators, is this who we must trust to maintain the greatness of the Roman Empire?”
They did not glance at one another in uncertainty; no, no they were listening to you.
You continued, your heart stammering. “I am not the one who will stand with you for the rest of my days, it is the son I carry within me. And if it is my son who will become emperor, then there must still be an empire for him once he is born. Hysteria has poisoned the streets for decades now, it is time to put an end to it!”
Murmurs and nods of approval began to echo amongst the counsel.
“Every single one of Rome’s children matters; from the beggars to the emperor himself. If one falls, so shall the rest of the Empire. I have walked beside the lay people of the city, and they feel betrayed by the former emperor for the murder of their beloved general. To right this wrong, I call for the release of Lucilla, daughter of Marcus Aurelias.”
Not one of the hundreds of senators made a sound. Deep within you, you knew that there wouldn’t be much rejoicing over Lucilla’s freedom, but you still had to try.
“The people adored her for far longer than they adored the general!” You pleaded. “If we kill her only for the amusement of the elites, then the children of Rome-!”
 “-Shall live.”
You turned to Macrinus, who finally stepped all the way forward.
“Forgive me,” He bowed mockingly. “my lady, but for a woman complimented to have a golden mouth, you have no idea what you are saying.”
A few of the senators chuckled.
“You wish to free the woman who mean to have you, and the emperors killed?” He questioned.
You refuted. “I wish to show the world that Rome is capable of forgiveness.”
“A desire so foolish, only the emperor’s favorite whore could have it.”
“Another word of slander out of your mouth, and I will have your tongue removed!” You stood toe-to-toe with him.
He grinned like the devil, and just from your outburst alone, no matter how warranted it had been, he had you. Macrinus stepped away, looking around at the senators.
“Me thinks the little girl believes she is Marcus Aurelius himself born again.” He straightened his tone. “What say you, senators? All in favor of releasing a traitor to the Empire, speak.”
Not one of them said ‘aye’. If you weren’t under a sheer amount of duress, you would’ve seen perhaps a few faces of inner turmoil, debating on calling for Lucilla’s release.
Yet, no one said a word because they shared the one thing that will contribute to the death of humanity: Cowardice.
Macrinus tutted. “Now, dear Julia and I happen to have, through good fortune and not a little skill, the remaining emperor’s ear. We can speak reason in it and tame the madness in the street. Yet, I will leave the domestic work of calming the emperor to his second in command. As for myself, to restore order to Rome, I will need power over the affairs of the state. Including command of the Praetorian Guard. The decision is in your hands. Ballot or hand?”
One hand rose immediately. Another followed, then ten, then thirty, and then, all of them. He provided no evidence for his cause…yet there was a unanimous decision.
Macrinus held his hand out to you, and you could only stare up at him in question.
“I believe we shall take the seats that are rightfully ours.” He said lowly.
Carefully, you slipped your hand into his, and he led you up the stairs to sit upon the chair that belonged to Geta, while he took Caracalla’s.
This would be the first and the last time a woman ever sat upon the emperor’s throne.
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After being embarrassed that morning, you paced around your chambers. Perhaps you could have found Caracalla and gave him the same reasonings the senate did not listen to. Perhaps he could somehow see to the logic that would be in setting Lucilla free.
No, of course he wouldn’t. Even if his mind was sound, he still knew she was apart of the coup to try and have him dethroned; killed in his mind’s eye.
As your mind grew heavy with existential possibilities towards the future, the door to your chambers opened. Stopping where you stood, you watched as Macrinus entered.
“Now, try to make me understand this," he shook his head. "I let you have your vengeance on the man who used you as a slave, I promised you freedom, and yet you wasted it.”
You clenched your jaw. "How dare you-."
“-How dare I?” He tensed his voice. “How dare I keep silent about your lie? How dare I give you the privilege to take your revenge? I have saved you more than you believe I have harmed you, lady Julia."
The name had always bothered you, but with one emperor dead and the other incapacitated, you assumed it would stop.
Now, it only enraged you more; or perhaps that was just because it was Macrinus saying it.
You glared. “It was your own mistake to believe you were the only one who desired power.”
He took a deep breath, then moving to sit on your bed. “Sit beside me, Rome’s Delight; I have a story to tell you.”
“I am not a child, you may tell me in short.”
“You are not the only slave wishing to be free.” He pulled back the collar of his clothing, revealing a branded ‘M.A’ “You are lucky enough to not carry your master’s mark, but were a slave nonetheless. Marcus Aurelius spoke of peace while still using violence against those who served him.”
Swallowing your pride thickly, you said. “I’m sorry.”
“You have learned now, that is all that matters.”
“But Lucilla will still be dead.” You tried to keep your voice steady. “She wanted the emperors to be gone as much as you, but she will-."
“-Her father enslaved me.”
“Her father is dead; and if taking his empire wasn’t enough, than killing his last child will satisfy you?"
Macrinus clutched your arm, fingers tightening with every word. “I would be careful with how you speak to me. I wish to offer you one last ounce of kindness before I regret it. Now tell me, Brutus, will you accept me as Rome’s new emperor?”
You had all the right to say it was Caracalla, but you thought better of it. So, with the softening of your entire person, you nodded. “I accept you.”
He dropped your arm. “I’ll let you say goodbye this time.”
Macrinus led you down into the dungeons of the palace, and he was right; somehow it was more heavily guarded than the gladiator pit. Even when the worst of the worst prisoners sneered or jeered at you, your sorrow and anger could not stir your fear.
The door to one of the cells was open, and you ran in just as Lucilla turned to see you.
“Five minutes.” Was all Macrinus said before locking the door and leaving.
You embraced one another when he left. Neither of you said anything, just clung to each other as if the world itself would tear you apart.
“Forgive me, mother Lucilla.” You choked up.
Lucilla pulled away, taking your face into her hands. “Sweet child, there is nothing to forgive.”
“I failed you.” The tears finally came. “I was right there in the senate’s room, I-I told them the chaos that would befell Rome if-.”
“-You were in the senate’s room?” She sounded as if her breath had been stolen.
You nodded. “Yes, but they wouldn’t listen!”
“My dear girl,” she smiled. “if you were able to even get half a sentence in, than they listened! My father but sixteen years ago said that it was a shame I had been born a women, for I would have been a magnificent emperor. Yet, here you stand; you who had been once a slave, rose above into having a sear in the senate council.”
Still, no matter how much pride she held, your own shame outweighed it. “I still have failed you.”
“I have already accepted my fate.” She whispered. “I must take care of those who matter to me before I leave this earth.”
“Do not say such things!” You cried. “I’ll still find a way to save you.”
“Hanno is my son.”
You expected her to deny your attempts at rescuing her, you even expected her to coddle you, curse you…but this?
“What?” You uttered.
“He is Lucius Verus Aurulius,” she said gently. “second of his name, but the first son of Maximus Decimus Meridius.”
“The-the gladiator?” Was somehow the first question you asked.
“Yes.” She nodded. “Lucius didn’t run away, I sent him. With him as heir to the empire, I know many would not rest until he was dead. How was he to fight for a claim he knew nothing about? Now, he is here; and I am no longer frightened of dying.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to!”
She shushed you, combing her fingers through your hair. “I can speak to you until the earth is burnt by the sun of how I have made peace, but I know that will not work. So, I have two final requests for you.”
“Anything.”
Lucilla walked to the small desk she had in her cell, then picking up a scroll loosely wrapped in twine. She handed it to you. “My first is to give this to my son before tomorrow. It…explains a great deal of things I do not have the time to say to him.”
You took it, holding it to your heart. “And the second?”
She smiled, wrapping her arms around you and kissing the side of your head. “To take care of him as I intend him to take care of you.”
It was not the first time that day your eyes had grown. “He despises me.”
“If the gods are merciful, then I truly believe you will both come to see eye to eye as the only two who remain.”
“I nearly killed him.” You admitted. “The night before his duel with Acacius, I brought a knife with me and stabbed him; well…not enough to harm him.”
Lucilla shook her head, giggling. “He will need someone who disagrees with him.”
You found yourself laughing along with her, even through your sobs. She pulled away from you, wiping your tears. “He is a good man. He may deny it but believe me when I tell you.”
“I trust you.” You nodded.
She took a deep breath. “I will be with you, even when I’m gone.”
“I…I know.”
“Now go before I beg you to stay.”
You forced yourself away from her before you could change your mind. You could not even look at her as you left her cell and went up the hall. Just in time, you remembered to hide the scroll as Macrinus approached you.
“Leaving so soon?” He asked.
Sighing, you said. “She’s…inconsolable. I couldn’t bear another moment with her.”
Macrinus nodded. “You should rest for the remainder of the day. It has been quite exhausting.”
“Yes,” you agreed. “it certainly has.”
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It was the first time that night you were forced to sneak out of the palace on your own. Fortunately, you remembered the route you took to the Gladiator pit and managed to dodge any of the guards on patrol that night.
The pit proved to be more difficult as the overseers of it had less space to watch over, yet you still somehow managed to maneuver them.
Perhaps the gods were on your side.
“Hanno.” You whispered once you found his cell.
The man turned over his shoulder once he heard your voice and approached with a scowl. “What are you doing here?”
You wasted no time, holding out the scroll. “Your mother told me to give you this.”
He paused for only half a beat. “My mother died when-.”
“-Your mother is Lucilla, daughter of Marcus Aurelias.” You whispered fiercely. “And you are Lucius, the lost son.”
His eyes didn’t leave yours as he reached down to the latch of the door, and cracked it opened. “Get inside.”
Though you wished to, you didn’t question how he had unlocked it and only walked in. He shut the door tightly, then took the scroll from you. You stood there as he unraveled it to read. His face changed every few seconds, ranging from distress to downright confusion. When he was finished, he looked at you.
“She gave this to you?” You nodded. “Why?”
“I was allowed to say goodbye to her.”
“From Macrinus?” He tested. “Was this before or after you attempted to steal his power?”
“I was cruel to you.” You admitted. “Even after discovering Acacius had pillaged your home and murdered your wife, I expected you to show mercy. I am astounded you did, but as I look back, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t. My desire for the general to live extends to your mother; if not more. She did not give up my name at any moment despite the fact I too was apart of the coup to try and overthrow the emperors. I cannot simply let her die.”
Lucius stared at you, his gaze intimidating yet at ease. He approached you. “You wish to save her life?”
“More than anything.”
“It is a rumor that Macrinus was the one to puppeteer Caracalla in slaying his brother. But…it wasn’t him, was it?”
Breathing deeply, you looked at the floor. “It was I.”
“Look at me.” He commanded softly, and you did. “Would you kill again if it meant protecting her?”
Your mind said ‘yes’ without a moment’s hesitation, but your heart only sunk into your stomach at the thought. It must have been apparent on your face, for he said.
“There is no shame if you are unable to.”
“I will be with him in the emperor’s box.” You said, determination in your eyes. “I will simply need you to buy me time in the arena. It shall be done.”
Lucius nodded, and released along breath before saying. "I treated you harshly. I...I don't believe I would have survived what you have been put through."
You picked at your fingers. "I think you would have."
"No." He solidified. "I wouldn't."
A silence fell between the two of you. There wasn't a hint of discomfort; as if, for the first time, you felt seen.
“You never told me your name.” Lucius uttered.
You pressed your lips together, shrugging. “It was never important.”
“It has been,” he said. “and it is now. You know my true name, if I am to understand you as how my mother wishes I do, then I must know yours.”
Your mouth parted to speak the first syllable, but even that had felt foreign. You instead lied. “I do not remember it.”
As he looked at you, the steely gaze you always knew began to disappear. “You must remember how it sounded from your mother’s mouth.”
“She died before she could hold me.”
“Then your father.” He walked closer to you, yet you felt no fear. “It does not matter if he was wretched or kind, he spoke your name and your name alone. What did it sound like?”
Like he loved you. Even when he was cross, he never raised his voice. You hated more than ever how tears started to build within your eyes.
“Geta had beaten me until I could no longer use it.” you confessed. “It will feel like poison upon my lips.”
“Then whisper it to me so you will scarcely have to move them.”
You had been lain down on a bed and had every bit of a man touch and invade your body. Even before the emperor, you had lain with people in the past of your choosing…
But none of that amounted to the intimacy you felt in that cell as Lucius stood nearly chest-to-chest with you, hovering his ear over your mouth as you finally (finally) spoke your name aloud.
If the heat of his body lingering over yours did not set your entire being aflame, it was the breath he released once he said.
“It’s a kind name.”
It was all too much for you, so you pulled away from him, drying your eyes. “I…I will pray for your safety.”
He outheld his hand to you. “Strength and honor.”
A saying you had overheard people use as they entered the stadium. You shook his hand. “Strength and honor.”
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You didn’t expect to be in the parade Caracalla raved about the day prior. Yet, there you were, draped in the finest and most colorful silks with jewelry in your hair. Inside your sleeve, you’d hidden the same kitchen knife you attempted to stab Lucius with.
You were sat beside Caracalla, who had Dundus upon his shoulder, and who had only grown more delusional since the day prior.
“Where is my brother?” He pulled on your sleeve like a child as you were escorted from the float and into the Colosseum.
A watery smiled pulled upon your lips, and you soothed him. “He feels most unwell today.”
“He should be here.” He sulked as you walked. “He would be happy for me.”
“And he is.” You lied. “You will see him again shortly.”
That managed to ease him, and you both were seated in the emperor’s box with Macrinus. It didn’t escape your vision how hundreds of Praetorians also circled the entire arena. As the time to the match grew closer, you did your best to calm your own nerves. This would be for the good of Rome. Once it was done, you would be able to rest easily again.
It was then you watched as, on one side of the Colosseum, a wagon was rolled out into the center of it. Tied to a pole, dressed up as if she were Venus herself, was Lucilla. All that attempt at soothing yourself was gone once you saw her eyes.
“Must we kill Lucilla?” Caracalla questioned.
You couldn’t even snidely repeat his question to Macrinus you were in such a state of anxiety. Macrinus responded.
“Until she is dead, you will never know peace.”
Thus, the event commenced. The announcer himself even sounded guilt-ridden as he spoke of the crimes Lucilla was being charged with. Treason, betrayal, all of it only anguished the spectators even more to see her being prepared for execution.
“Let it not be said that the Emperor is not merciful!” He yelled. “The queen will be granted a champion to defend her!”
Out from the other side of the arena came Lucius. Half of the Praetorians held their weapons to the man, while the other half faced the civilians as if expecting them to riot. Once again, at the sight of the scene before them, it would not surprise you.
You had been taught one a many myths by your father, mainly belonging to the Greeks. You were Cassandra; blessed by Apollo to speak of prophecies but cursed to not be believed.
When it seemed that hope was gone…Lucius rose his sword, and hundreds of gladiators sprinted from all sides.
The crowd and Caracalla were in an uproar at the excitement. Pandemonium ensued as the gladiators began to climb the barriers and civilians were attempting to enter the arena. The sound of arrows screaming entered your ears; so much so you could not hear what Macrinus was saying to another man, and why Caracalla was screaming.
You simply blinked, and once your eyes were open, you watched as Macrinus dove a needle into the side of Caracalla’s neck, killing him.
Only a gasp tore through your throat, having no ability to scream. Your body soon found reason to move, and you rose to your feet, remembering your duty. Macrinus had acquired a crossbow, aiming it towards Lucilla and Lucius now at the center of the arena.
You rose the knife from your sleeve, charging towards the man. The arrow was fired, and you leapt upon his shoulders.
He moved wildly, trying to force you off of him. You made attempt to slash his throat, but it made contact with his eye instead.
Still…he overpowered you. Flipping you over him, you dropped down into the arena, your head colliding with the ground.
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The sky was orange above you when you opened your eyes. Your head had never felt so awful before, and you were surprised you could even sit up. All around you, bodies littered the Colosseum floor. If there was not blood laid before you, there were swords and shields.
Your eyes drifted to the center, and now sunken to the floor, was Lucilla on her wagon. You forced yourself to stand and walk towards her.
When you could see the arrow sticking in her chest, you began to run.
Climbing atop the wagon, you untied the ropes around her hurriedly.
“Mother,” you begged. “mother, can you hear me?”
“I am still here, sweet child.” She whispered weakly.
“Save your energy now.” You managed to free her, and then pulled her to your lap.
“I will be seeing my beloveds now.” She smiled.
“No,” you hissed. “you are going to live.”
She reassured. “It is alright. I have fulfilled everything that was asked of me, and what I wished for.”
“Mother-!”
“-You will look after him, won’t you?”
You wanted to cry; you wished that sadness was the first thing you felt. But no, it was anger. Still, you nodded. “I will, but you will be there to make sure he takes care of me too!”
“He shall.” Was all she said.
“You will live, just please stop talking.”
“I love you.”
“Lucilla…” Your voice broke.
“Tell Lucius I would do this all again for him.”
You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. Lucilla rose her hand to your cheek, brushing it tenderly one last time.
Her eyes were held open as she went limp in your arms. You closed her eyelids, knowing her gaze would haunt you.
You did not move for the first hour, nor did you cry out in despair. It was when the sun was completely gone, and you tore yourself away from her corpse did you collapse into a fit of sobs.
The ugliest sounds were released from your mouth as you could barely stand. You do not know how long you cried, but when you could finally move again, you crawled to the nearest sword, and trailed it behind you before climbing back up onto the wagon.
You tied the rope from her body around her legs, and brought her back into your lap, sword in hand.
There was no rest for you that night. You would nearly drift off into sleep, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give in until you could bury her properly. You also couldn’t bring yourself to bury her at the same time.
When you had lost time altogether, and the sky was purple as twilight broke, a gentle hand shook you.
Raising the sword in surprise, you felt your body relax once you saw Lucius. You should have asked how he survived, what happened to Macrinus, anything else…but all you said was.
“I wouldn’t let anyone touch her.”
He nodded, tears threatening to fall as he gazed upon his dead mother. He took a deep breath. “May I take her?”
You handed her to him, and he took her into his arms. You scooted off the wagon, your eyes reddened and exhausted.
“Where,” you cleared your throat. “Where should she be buried?”
“I…” He heaved. “I know where my father’s grave is.”
“Okay.” Was all you managed.
And you walked by his side, neither of you knowing what your fate would befall in Rome.
Yet…once both slaves, you were now free.
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s0dium · 6 months ago
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Warning: Riding monster form! Sukuna on his throne, fingering, virginity loss, lots of cum
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Sukuna honestly wonders if you can take him in his monster form. Like, really wonders.
He knew it would only be a matter of time before he was done with Yujis body and his true form would appear, monstrous and large. So he wondered, could a cute human like you, handle him? Or perhaps the better question is, could you handle being fucked by him? Yes, the question lingered in his mind ever since he laid eyes on you through Yuji's body.
So when the time came, and Sukuna ate the last finger, he knew he would have to put the question to the test. The transition was swift and unsettling—a violent surge of power that reshaped megumi's body into Sukuna's true, towering form. Needless to say, you were, well, shocked. The world around you warped, the reality bending as he whisked you away to his domain, a realm where shadows clung to ancient stones and the air thrummed with untamed power.
Despite the overwhelming force of his presence, fear didn't take hold of you as one might expect. Instead, a mix of awe and apprehension filled your chest as you were suddenly pulled into the heart of his shrine where a throne lay in the middle. Sukuna, now fully his ten-foot-tall self, seated you on his lap with an ease that belied his monstrous size. One of his four large hands cupped your chin, gently but firmly tilting your face up to meet his gaze. The sheer intensity of his four eyes could have frozen a lesser soul, but you, no, you only trembled slightly—not from fear, but curiosity?
The fact that you didn't flinch or cower seemed to both surprise and intrigue him. His grin widened, sharp and dangerous, as if your bravery added an unexpected flavor to a game he thought he had mastered.
"Interesting," he murmured, the word rumbling through his chest and into your ears. His movements were deliberate as his hands reached out, the air tense. Each gesture was measured, almost reverent, as he carefully began to peel away the layers of your clothing.
You don't even know what going on until you have been stripped completely, all the way down to your bra and underwear. You watch with wide eyes as he parts his robe and pulls out...
Holy shit.
Your heart drops and your brain goes blank. To call Sukuna's dick huge would be like calling the ocean a puddle; it's an understatement of epic proportions. An average 6 inches? try 11. There's no way that could possibly fit in you. Your hand couldn't even fit around it alone.
"I don't… what are you doing? What, I don't…" you babble, utterly overwhelmed and flustered by his sheer size. You thickly gulp when you see his fat angry red tip twitch and you move your hips away to retreat, but one of Sukunas strong hands keeps you secured on his leg. Sukuna chuckles, a deep, resonant sound that only adds to your confusion and embarrassment. His amusement at your reaction is evident, making you feel even smaller in his grasp.
"What, you scared?" He coos mockingly, hooking a thick finger under the hem of your panties and pulling the thin fabric down your legs. "But look, you are already so wet."
You hated how much he was right, but you couldn't deny the pool of arousal at the base of your underwear. Slowly, Sukuna slides one of his long finger inside your wet cunt, your pussy instantly squeezing at the foreign intrusion. Jesus, his singular finger is almost as big as an average dildo. You whine when he curls his middle finger to his palm; hitting places you could only dream of hitting yourself. Two trembling hands grab onto Sukunas robes to keep yourself steady as you grind your hips on his hand; desperately trying to get more out of the pleasure.
"Don't worry, I'll get you ready before the real thing."
Your about to say something when Sukuna pushes the back of your head forward until his lips capture yours. His tongue, unusually large and powerful, invades your mouth with aggressive fervor, leaving you breathless and unable to resist. You whine against his mouth and from the pleasure, his palm rubbing nicely against your clit. You can faintly hear the sloshing noises down your sex from Sukunas ceaseless fingering. It was warm, everything was warm; your face, your tummy, Sukuna’s hands, and wet mouth on you. Your legs were trembling and you couldn't think so much as breathe. But just when you are about to fall off the edge, Sukuna pulls away and stops all ministrations from your body.
Fat hot tears clouded your sight and started to spill down your flushed red face from the pleasure that had been snatched away from you. “No no no no please I-i-i’ll be good please dont s-stop.” You attempted to grab Sukunas hand and pull it back to you but he quickly swatted it away.
"Didnt I tell you? Im preparing you for the real thing."
Sukuna grasps either end of your hips with two of his four arms, lifting you just above his lap. You find yourself straddling him, but he keeps you hovering over him, so your entrance is aligned with his tip.
"Wait woah wait wait-"
It's too late. You let out a choked scream at the feeling of his thick hard member forcefully spreading your tight insides, and oh my god you have never felt so fucking full in your life right now. You squirm and writhe against his hold, desperately trying to get away from the massive length penetrating you. Fat hot tears stream down your face as he lowers you onto him. Sukuna grits his teeth, maybe he underestimated how small your hole would be, you are only halfway down his dick and he cant seem to lower you any farther. Furthermore, Sukuna gravely underestimated how tight, warm, and gummy your walls, like molten honey solidifying into a vice, trapping him in a relentless, clinging embrace.
“Shit your tight, loosen up a bit would ya?” He tries to push you down even more but his tip is already smooshed against your cervix. The pressure on your cervix and the stretch of your walls around his dick knocks the wind out of you, and Sukuna groans at the way your pussy tightens in an attempt to push out the foreign intrusion.
Sukuna’s about to pull you out to thrust into you again, when he notices a trickle of blood from your pussy drip down his balls, the realization of what it meant making him grin.
“Shit your actually a fucking virgin aren’t you.”
Your too lost in the pain and slight foreign pleasure to register the question, and he takes the silence as a yes.
“Good.”
You let out a scream when he pulls out and thrusts back into you. The sudden thrust makes your eyes roll back from the dull painful pleasure coursing through your veins. To be fair a part of Sukuna told him to go slow, to be kinder on you since you were just a small weak human. But from the way your hot sticky walls sucked him in, and how you looked at him, Jesus, how you looked at him, like he was your god, made him lose control.
Your drooling now, as his lifts you up and down his dick like a fucking sex toy. It was dizzying, the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls every time he slams you down on his length. The friction is incredible and it made pain quickly turn into pleasure. Waves of overwhelming sensations surged through your body, filling you completely and sending waves of euphoria cascading through every nerve, making you shudder with an intense, almost blissful delight.
"Shit, feel better than I expected." Sukuna grunts. "Gonna have to do this every day, all the time."
And suddenly—you feel it. What you’ve heard about from friends or seen in porn.
Its like all your bodies energy centers are activating at once and your left utterly helpless to the feeling of tingling ecstasy wrapping your brain and stomach.
You dont know how to tell him that something is happening, not when the pleasure is too immense your barley breathing full breaths. But Sukuna understands the words you tried to desperately to communicate.
“Do it slut. Cum. I’ll fill you up, and if it spills ill fuck it back into you.”
As of on command, the knot in your stomach bursts, and you are thrown toward a euphoric grave.
“Sh-Shit, shit, fuuuuck~” He chuckles into your ear, choking over his words as his hips sputter inside of you, hot cum fills you as much as you can hold inside of your stuffed cunny. Theres so much of his cum that is rolls back down the base of his cock and on his balls.
"Fuck, you did good, so good."
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dinboweek2024 · 10 months ago
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Dinbo Nation, we need to catch up!
Alright… I’m doing rebels/mando/original trilogy bc those don’t have a ton of ships.
I will do one more poll before the final! This will include sequel trilogy ships and three wild cards. These could be your favorite ships who lost this poll or the last poll or ships I forgot about. Pls let me know in the reblogs or comments which three wild cards you want.
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mcdynamite · 1 year ago
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Kissing has never done all that much for Steve, if he’s honest.
It's just not really something he's ever given much thought to before - the way someone kisses - despite the fact that he's locked lips with plenty of people. For him, kissing has always been something nice, but not particularly special. It's never been earth-shattering. Never taken his breath away, the way people talk about in movies and books. It's just a way to be closer to someone, and it's nice, but it's never anything more than that.
Then, Steve kisses Eddie for the first time, and suddenly he gets it.
They're high when it happens, laying side by side in Eddie's unmade bed while the weed sinks into their bones. Steve loves the way it seems to slow down the world around them - makes everything syrupy and sweet, so he feels every brush of Eddie's fingers against his own in every inch of his body as they pass the joint back and forth.
The casual contact makes him long for more, and when he's high, Steve just...gives into the longing. He lets himself drift closer until they're pressed together so closely that Eddie can hide his face in Steve's uncharacteristically messy hair when he's trying to cover up a snort of laughter in response to Steve's deranged weed-induced musings.
Tonight, they meander their way through a directionless conversation - as they so often do when they get high together - until the joint is so small it nearly singes their fingertips. When Eddie finally sits up to stamp it out in the ashtray on the bedside table, Steve tries not to miss the feeling of Eddie's body against his own too much, knowing it'll be back soon enough.
"I'm thinking of handing over the DM throne to Will for the next oneshot, after we finish this campaign," Eddie says, speech slow and thoughtful as he puts out the blunt. "Think he'll be good at it."
Steve just hums, eyes heavy-lidded, gaze fixed on the curls he wants so badly to run his fingers through, just to know what it feels like. He's high enough to not care about the consequences when he decides fuck it, and reaches out to feel the soft ringlets beneath his fingertips.
"You're good at it," he muses - a delayed response to Eddie's comment. If Eddie is bothered by the way Steve is carefully petting his hair, he doesn't show it. Instead, he turns back to look down at Steve with a soft smile that makes Steve's insides feel all gooey.
"Yeah?" Eddie asks, a hint of a smirk overtaking the softness. "You ready to admit that you like watching me play my little nerd game, Harrington?"
Steve blames the quiet whine that escapes his throat on the weed, along with the way he honest-to-God pouts in response to Eddie's words. He tugs on a lock of Eddie's hair petulantly. "Don't like it when you call me that."
Eddie's face does something strange then, and Steve can't quite parse out what it means with the weed making his brain all foggy. He looks...surprised? Fond? Maybe both?
"Sorry, Stevie," he replies, teasing but somehow genuine at the same time. Steve smiles dopily, an expression that Eddie returns. "That better?"
Satisfied, Steve nods. Hums in affirmation. "Yeah. I like that one."
And it's true. Steve loves when Eddie calls him Stevie, because Eddie always sounds so fond when he does, and it makes Steve's heart feel too big for his chest.
"Oh, yeah?" Eddie asks, still grinning as he leans down until he's propped up on one elbow, hovering just over Steve on the bed. "What else do you want me to call you, hm? Stevie? Steve? M'lord?"
The last one makes Steve laugh and close his eyes, happy to bask in the sound of Eddie's voice as he floats along with their conversation.
"Sir Steven? Sweetheart?" Eddie continues, and Steve's heart jumps just a bit at the second one. Then, Eddie murmurs, "Baby?" 
And Steve's eyes fly open.
Steve stares at his friend with wide eyes - lips parted as a soft, punched-out oh escapes him - and it's weird, is the thing. Because Steve has been called baby before, lovingly by his grandmother when he was still a little boy causing mischief while his parents weren't watching, meanly by boys on the playground when he cried over something silly like a scraped knee…and when he got older, teasingly by the girls he took on dates.
It's not a new name for him, but it feels groundbreaking nonetheless.
Because the word sounds so much better coming from Eddie's mouth than anyone else's. It's soft, and fond, and knowing, and...
It's longing.
"Yeah,” Steve croaks. "Yeah."
"Which one? Sir Steven?" Eddie asks playfully, cocking his head to the side like a puppy. He grins maniacally when Steve huffs and shakes his head in disappointment. "No? Which one was it, then, that you liked the most?"
"Eddieeee," Steve complains, burying his flushed face into the pillow and avoiding his friend's gaze. "You know which one."
Eddie shakes his head in an almost scolding manner and Steve is convinced he must've moved closer, because Steve can feel Eddie's breath against his skin, and the air in the room feels about a hundred degrees hotter.
"Nuh-uh, Stevie," Eddie says, poking him playfully in the ribs. "You gotta tell me which one."
Steve hesitates, feeling more and more self-conscious by the second. He sort of wants to hide, but he also really wants Eddie to call him that again. It's probably thanks to his intoxicated brain that he allows himself to answer truthfully. "Baby," he murmurs, uncharacteristically shy.
"Yeah?" Eddie says, voice and smile softening in tandem. "You like when I call you baby, Stevie?"
Steve stares up at him with wide eyes, hardly able to believe this is really happening, and nods. "Yeah. That one."
Eddie is so close, now, that Steve can feel the warmth that emanates from his skin; can see the flecks of gold in his eyes amongst the molten chocolate brown. He's got freckles - Steve realizes. Tiny little dots across the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheeks that form constellations on his skin. Steve thinks, maybe a bit deliriously, that he would be perfectly happy spending hours tracing them, the way astronomers of old once traced the stars.
"Eddie..." he breathes, heart pounding as he begins to feel more and more desperate for...for something. Anything to let him know that he's not the only one succumbing to the gravitational pull between them.
Eddie blinks slowly, and his eyes widen as though he's just realized something important. Steve watches his throat bob nervously before Eddie finally whispers, "Yeah, baby?"
Steve inhales sharply through parted lips - a soft, plaintive gasp that draws Eddie's eyes to his lips, and-
Oh.
That's what Steve wants, isn't it?
"I-" Steve tries, helpless to stop his own gaze from falling on Eddie's lips - pink and parted and just a little bit chapped, and so, so close.
"Baby," Eddie says again, and this time it's different. Unintentional. Like Eddie said it without meaning to. And maybe it's just the weed, but Steve swears he can feel the word burrowing its way into his chest and settling around his heart like a blanket. It makes his whole body feel warm - something only made worse by the hot coal of desire that begins smoldering low in his gut.
He's so lost in it all that he can't even bring himself to feel embarrassed when he whispers, "Please."
Steve waits with bated breath until finally, any remaining nervousness retreats from Eddie's eyes, and Eddie smiles in that way that makes Steve's stomach flutter. It's such a pretty smile. Steve can only watch as it grows closer, going cross-eyed for the briefest moment in his quest to to stare at Eddie's lips until suddenly his eyes are fluttering shut, because...because...
Because Eddie kisses him with lips still curled into a smile, and Steve thinks - utterly nonsensically - that feeling Eddie's lips against his own is so much better than just looking at them. The thought makes him giggle, just a bit, and he finds himself grinning into the kiss, too.
They part for a moment so Steve can let out another quiet giggle, and Eddie seems to pause for a moment, smiling down at Steve with poorly concealed affection. "Baby," he murmurs reverently, and then he's leaning down to capture Steve's lips in another kiss.
This time, Steve is ready for it, but it draws a muffled whimper out of him nonetheless. His nose fills with the scent of weed and cigarettes and cheap cologne - the smell of Eddie - and it's so overwhelmingly good. He lets his lips fall open on a gasp...doesn't close them when Eddie tentatively brushes his tongue against Steve's own. He shuts his eyes, because the press of Eddie's hand to his cheek and Eddie's chest to his own feel like so much more like that.
Eddie breaks the kiss to gasp in a breath, and inexplicably, that's what really sends every last bit of restraint in Steve's brain packing. It's so simple, so ordinary - the soft, quick sip of air Eddie takes in. It's a breathy little sound that Steve has heard from countless others before, but maybe that's why it puts him in this unfamiliar chokehold of wanting.
This isn't just anyone.
This is Eddie.
And Eddie is making those quiet, lovely little sounds because he's kissing Steve, and Steve is very rapidly realizing that he is utterly incapable of being normal about any of this.
He feels his cheeks go hot as he forces his heavy limbs to move so he can tangle his fingers in Eddie's curls, holding him close (because Steve thinks he might die if Eddie stops kissing him, now). And it's bliss. It's addictive. It's ruinously tender, and Steve feels himself unraveling from within. Feels the knots in his heart - left behind by absent parents, cruel friends, and distant girlfriends - turn to dust at the gentlest brush of Eddie's lips.
He whimpers into Eddie's mouth and clings to him even tighter, feeling his throat grow strangely tight as his eyes sting at the corners, and when Eddie pulls away he's got a small furrow in his brow, just under his bangs. 
"Stevie?" Eddie murmurs. His eyes dart to Steve's cheeks, and when he brushes his thumb along the skin just under Steve's eye, it drags a bit of wetness with it. Only then does Steve realize...he's crying.
And Eddie is wiping away his tears.
"I..." Steve croaks, eyes wide and spilling more tears with every blink. He drags his hands down from Eddie's hair to rest on his chest, beginning to curl into himself as the embarrassment sinks in.
Christ, he's crying. And all they've done is kiss.
Eddie's frown deepens, but he doesn't pull away completely. Instead, he lets their noses brush and breathes, "Baby..."
Steve's breath hitches.
"You're shaking, sweetheart," Eddie continues, still brushing Steve's tears away with gentle fingers. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Steve gasps hurriedly, because as far as he understands, it's the truth. "Nothing's wrong, I just..." He closes his eyes. Swallows the lump in his throat and admits with a trembling voice, "I didn't know it could be like this."
He opens his eyes and sees Eddie's expression soften, but the concern remains. "What do you mean?"
"I just..." Steve tries, sniffling and letting out a quiet, distressed laugh. He slams his eyes shut again and rubs them roughly with his palms, trying to force the tears back into his body. "Jesus, this is fucking embarrassing, man."
"Steve..." Eddie murmurs. He sounds sad. Conflicted. Like he's not sure what to do or how to help - if he should stay or go - and that just won't do, because Steve is certain he'll drift away on the breeze without Eddie to ground him. He's got to try to explain, even with his thoughts still feeling syrupy slow from the weed.
He wants to tell Eddie that he's kissed dozens of people before, but kissing them never felt like this. He wants to explain that he's used to taking the lead, and that it's nice having someone else set the pace, for once. He wants to tell Eddie about the way most people he's kissed have done so - frantically...lustfully. Kissing has always been a simple means to an end. And it's never made Steve feel like this.
What he actually manages to say is slightly different, though.
"No one's ever kissed me like they love me, before."
His eyes are still covered by his own hands, so he can't see what is surely a stunned expression on Eddie's face, but he can hear the way Eddie gasps in response to Steve's words.
It’s too much, he thinks. He's said too much, fast-forwarded too far into the movie. It's too early to be talking about love. Steve knows this. It's just...
His stupid, floaty little brain can't envision a world where someone kisses the way Eddie does without being hopelessly, irrevocably in love.
"Shit," Steve breathes after several minutes of silence. Or maybe it's several seconds. He really doesn't know. Time feels funny, when he's high. "I know that's, like, way too much. I'm too much. I don't know why I-"
"Steve," Eddie interrupts, and Steve snaps his mouth shut. He feels Eddie's hands wrap carefully around his wrists to pull them from his eyes. Eddie is being so careful with him...like he can't see that his tenderness is exactly the thing that’s ripping Steve apart at the seams.
Steve wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to drag Eddie back down and kiss him until he can't breathe. Until Eddie's sweetness becomes warm and comforting instead of feeling like the scalding heat of jumping into a hot tub after a dip in the cold waters of the pool.
"Baby, look at me," Eddie says softly.
Steve is helpless but to obey.
Eddie's gaze is sad but kind when Steve finally meets it with his own. He's got the barest hint of a smile on his pretty lips - the same ones Steve so desperately wants to feel against his own, again - and Steve feels his stomach swirl with something he can't quite describe.
"It's not too much," Eddie continues, voice steady. "And neither are you, okay? You, Steve Harrington, are never too much. Not to me."
The words settle over Steve like a blanket, and he can't decide whether it's comforting or suffocating. He just wants to stop talking about things so they can move on. He just wants Eddie.
"Eds..." he rasps desperately. "I don't- I just want-" He cuts himself off with the hitching breath of what may be a sob. He's not really sure, at this point.
"What can I do, honey?" Eddie says, and he really needs to stop with the pet names, or Steve might genuinely fracture into pieces. "What do you want?"
Steve is sunk too deep into the syrupy slow feeling of the weed - too desperate to feel Eddie pressed against him again - to do anything but tell the truth.
"Just want you," he says.
Eddie smiles - eyes crinkling at the corners - and Steve breathes the sight in like oxygen. "You have me, baby," Eddie murmurs. He's rubbing small, comforting circle into the sensitive skin of Steve's wrists now, and it's perfect. It's wonderfully, disgustingly perfect.
"I do?" Steve asks dumbly. His brain feels fifteen seconds behind everything, but he thinks that's probably okay. Eddie seems to be just fine waiting for him to catch up.
"Yeah, Stevie," Eddie chuckles quietly. "Had me for a long time, now. Just wasn't sure if you would want me the way I wanted you."
"You want me," Steve says breathlessly, more to himself than to Eddie. "You wanna kiss me."
Eddie's resulting laugh is a bit louder, a bit brighter, this time. "I do," he says. The sadness is fading from his eyes, giving way to something that looks an awful lot like elation. Steve remains still and watches, entranced, as Eddie carefully hauls himself up until he can swing a leg over Steve's to straddle him.
Still smiling broadly, Eddie leans down until their faces are mere inches apart, studying Steve with those big, brown eyes. "You gonna let me?" he asks Steve, a teasing lilt to his voice.
Steve nods, lips parted in surprise he can't quite seem to shake, and Eddie's expression softens.
"Gonna let me kiss you like I love you, Stevie?" Eddie whispers.
Steve's not sure when, exactly, his tears had begun to dry up, but he knows they must have at some point, because they're returning with a vengeance, now. "Please," he breathes.
Eddie shifts, and Steve expects Eddie to go right back to kissing him, but that's not what he does.
Instead, Eddie releases one of Steve's wrists and cups his cheek tenderly. This time, the feeling of his thumb brushing the tears away is a familiar one, and it makes Steve smile dopily.
"You know the reason I kiss you like I love you?" Eddie asks. Steve shakes his head and tracks Eddie's gaze as it drifts towards the place where his fingers are still wrapped around Steve's wrist. His lips quirk into a smile as he uses his grip to pin Steve's hand to the mattress, right beside Steve's head, and laces their fingers together.
Their noses are brushing, now, and Eddie's hips are resting on Steve's, and Eddie's hair has fallen around them like a curtain to keep the rest of the world out, and it's so much. Eddie is everywhere, and he's everything, and Steve is completely, unquestioningly in love with him - probably has been in love with him for ages, now, and just never let himself think too hard about it.
"I kiss you like I love you, Steve Harrington," Eddie breathes, and their lips brush as he speaks. "Because I love you."
And the thing is…Steve has spent his entire life wondering what it would feel like to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was loved. It's something that's eluded him for twenty years.
So it's all the more miraculous when Eddie kisses him again, and suddenly, Steve knows. He knows that Eddie Munson loves him. He feels it in the way Eddie kisses him slowly and deliberately, like it would never have crossed Eddie's mind not to. He feels it in their linked hands, in the way Eddie squeezes his hand when Steve makes a desperate, wanton sound into his mouth.
He feels it when Eddie brushes the hair out of his eyes and smiles before kissing Steve's forehead, then his nose, and then his lips again.
Feels it when Eddie's lips begin to wander down his neck.
When Eddie sucks a mark into the thin skin above his collar bone, just because Steve begs him too.
When Eddie pulls Steve's shirt over his head with careful hands, then lets Steve do the same, because Steve needs the intimacy of skin on skin.
He feels it when Eddie stops Steve's wandering hands from venturing too far south with a firm grip and apologetic eyes, because Eddie wants him - of course he does - but not when they've been smoking. Not when there's even the slightest chance that Steve might wake up and regret it in the morning.
And he hears it, too, later that night when they're laying in Eddie's bed exchanging soft, sleepy kisses, unwilling to drift off and let the night end, just yet.
Their legs are woven together - bare, aside from their boxers - and Steve has lost track of how long they've been tangled up in each other like this. He doesn't particularly care, though. He's pretty sure he could happily spend the rest of his life exactly like this.
"Love you, Stevie," Eddie whispers against his lips. They both smile into the next kiss, and Steve's heart is full to bursting, because he believes it. He knows, now, what it feels like to be loved...to be adored.
"I love you," he murmurs in reply, relishing in Eddie's sharp intake of breath. He giggles a bit, for no reason other than the pure joy that's been coursing through his body all night. "God," he laughs. "I fucking love you, Eddie Munson.
Eddie is quiet for a moment before his face splits into a grin that could rival Steve's own, and he's so goddamn beautiful that Steve almost feels like crying again.
He doesn't cry, though. He just watches adoringly as Eddie smiles and nudges Steve's nose with his own. "Yeah, baby?" Eddie teases.
"Yeah, Eds," he answers simply.
And he's pretty sure Eddie knows - is pretty sure Eddie can feel it - because Steve kisses him for the umpteenth time that night, and he pours every ounce of his heart into it. 
Steve kisses Eddie like he loves him, because he does. God, help him, he does.
And Eddie?
Eddie kisses Steve like he loves him back, and Steve gets it now, because it’s more than just a kiss.
It’s perfect.
It’s earth-shattering.
It’s everything.
--
Shout-out to @lyphyshard for the beta!
For more of my Steddie blurbs and one-shots, check out my masterlist!
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georgescitadel · 2 months ago
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I often get the question, “How do you write women?” or “How do you write a dwarf?” Some of that can be resolved by research or talking to people. I had a correspondence with a fan when I was writing the first and second books, long ago, who was a paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down, and he gave me a lot of valuable insight about how to write Bran and what it would be like. That kind of information from other people, you can never duplicate.
- George R.R. Martin, Ideas At The House (2013)
There are things we all go through, but there are experiences that I haven't had, and when I'm writing about one of those, I try to talk to people who have had that experience. When I first had Bran crippled by his fall from the tower, I had one fan who was paraplegic, and he and I exchanged a number of emails about what it was like to be paraplegic because I could try to imagine that, but I don't actually know it. When I wrote the scene where Sansa has her first period, I talked to a number of women and asked, “What was it like to have your first period? Was it scary? Was it nothing? Was it painful? Tell me about it!” I got about 16 different stories that varied very widely. People who have actually been in combat, I talk to before the combat scenes, and that too varies widely. That's sort of interesting, and, of course, I've read a lot about that. There are some experiences that only women have had in our society, and when I tackle them, I try to consult with women.
- George R.R. Martin, NIFFF Masterclass (2014)
You do have to research the things that can be researched, and sometimes that involves books; sometimes it actually involves talking to people. Those are the trickiest things, if it's a human experience. I'll give you a couple of examples from Game of Thrones. When Bran gets thrown out the window and paralyzed. I'm not paralyzed, I don't have any close friends who are paralyzed, but I wanted to try to get that as accurate as I could, so I did a fair amount of reading about that. I also had a couple of fans who corresponded with me through email about the problems of someone who was paralyzed from the waist down and what it would be like. I also have a scene where Sansa, who is engaged to Joffrey but hasn't flowered yet—hasn't had her first period—so she can't be married by the traditions of Westeros, then has it and is eligible, by medieval standards as well as the standards of Westeros, to be bedded and wedded and bred. Of course, she reacts to that with considerable panic. But I also wanted to know what it is like, and that led to a number of embarrassing conversations with women I knew about: “When did you have your first period? What was it like? Was it painful? Tell me about it!” What I discovered was a wide variety of different stories. It's not always the same thing, so I had to try to make sense of that and do something that had authentic truth to it. Hopefully, I did, but human experience is variable. No matter how much you research, there will be somebody out there who had a different experience, and then they'll write you an annoyed email saying, “You got that all wrong. You don't know anything about that.” Well… okay. But I tried.
- George R.R. Martin, Author Event Series: Featuring Marlon James (2019)
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brainjvice · 5 months ago
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I am very insane about this pic so I'm gonna try to "break it down" (more like give my take on what's going on here apart from noa serving 85 kilograms worth of cunt) So yeah, more under cut.
God there's so MUCH going on here. Where do I start.
My take is that this pic may take place in the parisienne slums, where Noa was born. It would explain the graffiti, the broken pavement and the fact that noa is at the centre of the pic. The fact that he's sitting on a glass chair is making me froth. The pose. That's the pose of someone who stands on business.
Y'all know where else we saw glass associated to a character? Exactly. Kaiser's glass ego. Although I think Noa's glass chair represents something else. To me it's linked to Noa's status as the numer one striker. He sits on the throne but the throne is made out of glass. So one day he will inevitably lose his spot (and look who stands right behind him). Noa seems to know about it though, like look at his confident pose. He knows and he is Fine with it. He also lowkey looks ready to fight.
Yeah right behind him stands Ego motherfucking Jinpachi in all his slenderman-esque figure.
Ego: sit back down
Noa: I'm sat.
Before that I also want to talk about chris prince's tits sporty look. He is a vibe. Also I love how snuffy is designed after an eagle lmao the eyes, the hair color, the fact his headband covers his brows to give his eyes the peculiar cut prey birds have. Peak design. Love it. I also adore how Lavi looks like the Uncle who gets too drunk at your wedding and breaks havoc lmfao. His purple-looking eyes are so cool and his colorful hair as well, altho it's toned down.
Also. Loki. Loki is the youngest of them all, and he stands a bit more afar from them. He also looks so composed? Like he's new to the game, he's still not relaxed/confident enough to strike a more casual pose like the other coaches. I love this detail.
Back to Ego Jinpachi. I'm. [wolf tearing his shirt apart meme] LISTEN!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! The fact he is RIGHT BEHIND NOA. The fact he is the ONLY ONE not looking at the camera because he is not part of that world anymore. He doesn't play football anymore yet he's never given up on his sick sick dream. His jacket being a striking (lol) blue... ugh I love it. It's the only colorful note in the spread and it sits on the centre as well + they dulled everyone's colors for it to result more vibrant. Also not to be a yaoi lover but the black-white hair combination hits again ig.
Also. Also thinking about his volume cover. The four chains forcing him to sit on his chair. Makes me wonder how Ego may had been forced to leave football. There's still so much we don't know and UGH I need NEED to know what happened. Because now he's got horrible eating habits and is probably living driven by spite alone.
Anyway. I want to hear others' analysis on this!!!!!
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