#i don't know how to deal with the shame of living
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I completely agree with this. I feel like this is one of the worst parts about Veilguard. My Inky is in the South, and while I firmly believe Orlais is the devil, it's very weird that Tevinter is just super chill about my elf Rook when my elf Inky had constant micro-aggressions as well as just out and out slurs hurled at her. Also I'm going on a rant about Mythal.
SPOILERS BELOW
Bellara also seems to just...kind of ignore that I'm an elf? Davrin makes more sense. He left his clan and joined the Wardens because he just didn't really vibe with the Dalish. He'd think of himself as a Warden first, I think. Wardens don't seem to give much of a shit about your race or religion or sexuality or whatever. In The Calling, they canonically don't give a fuck about the gay couple in their little group, or that Fiona is a mage and an elf. Absolutely irrelevant. So Davrin could start to fall into that mindset because frankly, it's a nice way to live. It's just not real outside the Wardens.
So when Bellara is like oh my god our gods are evil and Davrin is like eh, fuck 'em, that's actually about the most realistic reaction we've got re: elves. Davrin is just out here like yo I'm a little busy saving the world fuck them gods. Love Davrin.
Also, in Inquisition, there's concern that knowing Corypheus's artifact is Elvhen will cause violence against elves. So knowing it's the Elvhen gods causing all of this? The consequences of that, even if an elf Rook saves the world, should be looming for a Shadow Dragon in particular. Clearly Inquisitor Ameridan's race did nothing for the elves of Orlais. It was covered up over time. His sacrifice meant nothing to the humans. This should make Solas's plans to restore the elves much, much more tempting.
The way the Crows were presented REALLY bothered me as well as someone who romanced Zev. The Crows *tortured* him, sexually assaulted him, made him feel worthless, because it was seen as necessary. Sure, Lucanis being blood family might give him a very different perspective and experience, but Jacobus is just allowed to be a Crow and start his own house when he wouldn't kill? I mean, I totally agree that prolonged, public shaming and imprisonment is worse for this individual, but like.... That's not how the Crows work. They kill stuff for money. Sure, they run Antiva and would be pretty pissed off about the Antaam taking their territory I'm sure, and they might work with Rook since Rook helped Lucanis and he's a big deal to the First Talon. But like... It should be a hard choice to work with them for Shadow Dragon Rook, because SLAVERY.
I feel like the pullback on slavery is to make Solas's actions seem more ambiguous, and to make it seem like there was some equal power between him and Mythal. But I have a very hard time believing he was never Mythal's slave. Also, a spirit of BENEVOLENCE? Get ABSOLUTELY fucked. She was fine with SLAVERY. Thought she could just slowly phase it out, maybe. Yeah, no .
Because here's the thing: slavery is evil. Whatever you have to do to stop slavery, short of participating or killing slaves, is pretty easy to justify. Maybe I'm just John Brown-pilled from living in Kansas a good chunk of my life, but killing slavers and slave owners and freeing slaves is MORALLY CORRECT. FULL STOP. A "kind" master is still a master. Sure, you can give them a chance to free their slaves and make reparations first, but waiting to vote slavery out didn't work. The US had to go to war. Haiti had to rebel (and give basically all its GDP to France for like two hundred years. Fuck Orlais AND France).
The only reason my Inky was able to befriend Dorian, at first, was their shared trauma in going to the future. That changes people (that whole quest fucked me up the first time I did it) and I think my elf Inky was looking for reasons to trust Dorian and ignore the system he participated in. She didn't have to see it so it seemed less real. He's an altus so he doesn't own the estate. He seems open to other opinions! And some part of him knows it's wrong, or he wouldn't be so awkward upon talking to Inky the first time.
But Solas's inherent and never fully overcome distrust of Dorian isn't wrong. Solas needs to see action; words aren't enough. I don't blame him.
This is the same softening we saw of the Templars in DA2 and Inquisition, but if you read The Stolen Throne and The Calling and play DAO, it's very clear that mages are oppressed by the Chantry and live in horrible conditions. The ones in Lake Calenhad are described as pale and kinda sickly looking (or something like that) because they don't get any fucking sunlight. Fiona is happy to go to the circle at first because she was a SLAVE in Orlais (Honestly Loghain's hatred of Orlais is justified even though his actions aren't). If you decide to allow the right of annulment or whatever in DAO, Zevran calls it genocide. Zevran isn't one to mince words. He doesn't pretend he isn't a killer or that he wasn't tortured.
My Inky and my Rook are both 'no gods no masters' types, which is why I think clan Lavellan sent their First on a risky mission supposedly by herself (got real sick of her shit lol). As a result, she heavily sympathizes with Solas's cause, and would have happily joined him in bringing down the Veil if he'd just agreed to spend time making sure as few people died as possible, particularly after she meets the Avvar and sees how spirits really are. She knows Solas better than anyone, and even without a full explanation, she'd know that his reasons for doing this were morally right. He freed her people. He never meant to hurt them. He can't live with his guilt. Inky (who in my game was more like 30 because I don't think she could have made decisions or led on her own at 20, nor would she have been a studied enough mage) wants freedom for everyone. She's chaotic good.
Rook is a Shadow Dragon who killed slavers a little too hard for an organization dedicated to killing slavers (based Rook). They're also chaotic good, and a bit of an idiot, bless them, who kinda sees everything as a nail because they have a hammer. They see slavery, they fight it. Fuck the consequences. Solas did the same.
So why is Rook not bringing up slavery a lot? Why is Rook only finding out that Solas freed slaves on the regular at the beginning of the game? Did Varric just decide that wasn't worth bringing up to a person whose entire life revolves around ending slavery? Why is Rook not having an existential crisis after talking to Solas and finding out the truth of his past in his memories?
Look, all I'm saying is that I don't understand why more people aren't angry with Mythal and why no one is talking about slavery and racism. The whole point of fantasy and sci-fi, and the point of Dragon Age, is to critique modern society through thinly veiled references. That's why people get so passionate about Star Trek. And yeah, yes, it's necessarily going to make a piece of media more niche, or people are going to bitch about it (especially gamer bros my dude calm down, sorry something is very briefly not about you), but it makes a game *good* and lasting
BG3 did a good job of exploring the themes of trauma and power imbalance, and while some characters I think needed more fleshing out (Wyll my beloved, I owe you a lengthy fanfic for the injustice done to you), it was particularly powerful in Astarion. The people are ready for real exploration of real issues. We always have been. Backing off was a mistake.
ANYWAY I have feelings and none of my friends share my special interest. Here you go.
Why Fenris could Never Cameo in Dragon Age: The Veilguard
In the run up to Dragon age: The Veilguard, I was almost certain that Fenris would be our main legacy character from previous games. Not only has he been central in the comics released between DAI and DATV, he is an escaped Tevinter slave who's plot revolved around magisters, magic and the structural prejudices surrounding elves in Thedas. Not only that, but he's canonically in Tevinter killing slavers currently so he's geographically in the right place for us to meet him.
About halfway through the game though, it was clear to me: Fenris could never cameo in The Veilguard. Because he'd break it.
How the Veilguard treats Thedas is...odd to me, to say the least. I will be writing another post about how much I adored the expanded big lore in this game (the titans, ancient elves were spirits, where the blight came from etc.) and yet while these large lore expansions worked for me, the actual culture of modern Thedas is entirely softened, its sharp edges filed down until it's a sanitised fantasy world devoid of what made the franchise so vibrant and compelling in the first place.
So let's start with Fenris and slavery. In all three games, the reality of slavery is pushing at the corners of the world. In DAO Loghain allows Tevinter Magisters to enslave elves in order to raise money for his war effort. In DA2 Fenris is fighting to be free from slavers who will not leave him be, let alone the reminders that the city was built by slaves which are everywhere. In DAI one of the two possible mini-bosses is Calpurnia who was a slave, and characters such as Gatt and Dorian both show us how much slavery is tied into Tevinters culture and success.
But DATV the first game actually set in Tevinter where we get to see the famed Minrathous...it's like the game purposefully wants to avoid the issue. I can feel it tilting the camera away to not allow me to see. Slavery is mentioned, but never talked about in depth or as a specifically ELVEN problem in Tevinter. This might have been done to be less problematic, it feels ignored.
We are in DOCK TOWN. We are at the DOCKS. You would think that slaves from all over Thedas who are being smuggled and bought by various groups would be everywhere. You would think that the injustice in dock town would be partly built on the back of ships we've seen in the comics crammed with elves in chains. This is the world Dragon age set up for us. And yet...nothing. zilch. A tiny easily skippable side quest where we free a couple of venatori slaves, but only one of whom is an elf.
None of our Tevinter characters seem to have been influenced by their culture even a little bit when it comes to how they view elves; there is no moment when Neve fucks up and says something prejudiced, no moment when Bellara or Davrin are distrustful of her for being a Tevinter mage.
The same goes for Zevran; a character who epitomised the issues with the crows. The crows have consistently been characterised as very morally dubious assassins who kill for the highest bidder and who buy children on the slave market and torture them as they grow in order to assure that they reach maturity able to withstand torture without giving away a client's name. Zevran is very explicit about the fact that if you fail a contract your life is forefit.
Nobody responds particularly to you if you're an elf. Nobody trusts rook less for it in Tevinter. Nobody treats Rook any differently. Even DAI had better mechanics for this; with nobles in Orlais less likely to trust you as an elf.
Considering one of the main plot points of this game and what makes Solas sympathetic is the fact that he was fighting against the slavery of ancient elves...you'd think the game might want to mirror that in modern Thedas. It might want to show us how characters fighting to end slavery in Tevinter are similar to Solas and how the society Solas fought against was similar to the one that characters we love such as Fenris have fought against in modern Thedas. Maybe we'd want to explore how in a world of slavery like this, how could the answer NOT be to tear it all down? Maybe we should have that option at the end of the game so it really can chose whether we agree with Solas and his plans or not.
Adding Fenris to this game would entirely break the game because Fenris refuses to allow you to look away from this horror. He is a sympathetic character who had to learn to trust mages again because of course he didn't trust them. Of course he didn't. Fenris wouldn't allow the camera to shift focus because he's literally covered in the lyrium scars that show how slaves are used as experiments in Tevinter. Fenris WOULD question Neve on how she feels about elves and slaves. Fenris WOULD have things to say about Lucanis and the crows (let alone the fact Lucanis is an abomonation). So he could never be in this game; he'd drop a bomb on it's carefully constructed blinders to the very society its supposed to be set in.
And yet, in DATV, the crows are presented as...a found family of misfits and orphans? The politician who opposes the crows having absolute power in Antiva is framed as a comically evil idiot who doesn't understand that the crows are ontologically good. Yet...they're NOT. Crows in this game act more like a secret rebel group than an assassin organisation. We see no crow taking contracts with the VERY RICH venatori magisters despite being hired killers. We see crows just refuse to kill people despite having a contract because 'its crueler to leave them alive'. The crows don't feel like the crows here, they feel like a softened version of a cool assassin group who are cool because they wear black and purple.
Our pirate group are also sanitised; the Lords of Fortune are good pirates who only steal treasure that's not culturally significant. Theyve clearly read the modern critiques of the British Museum and have decided to explicitly stop anyone levelling similar critiques at them. There is no faction of the Lords of Fortune who aren't like this, no internal arguments about it. Everyone just. Agrees. And is able to accurately tell what a cultural artifact is vs. what treasure that you can have yourself is. Rather than showing us why a pirate stealing cultural artifacts might be bad (like in da2 where such a situation literally causes a coup and a war) it just tells us it's bad. But also pirates are cool so we still want them in our world.
This issue seaps into Thedas and drains it of any of the interesting complexity and ability to SAY anything that this franchise had before this game. It becomes a game about telling and not showing rather than the other way around. The games have ALWAYS asked questions about oppressive structural systems and their interplay with society, religion and culture and how these things can affect even the most well meaning character. Dragon age at its best IS a game about society and how society functions both for and against it's characters and what happens to societies built on cruelty and indifference. The best bad guys dragon age has given us are those who are bad because they embody these systems or have been shaped by them. Our main characters have had to wrestle with questions surrounding how to exist in these systems, fight against them, learn and grow.
Yet every group you come across in DATV is sanitised and cleaned up to the point of being as non problematic as humanly possible. None of our cast of characters have to wrestle with where they came from or the world that shaped them. None of them have to confront their own biases. They start the game perfectly non-problematic and end it that way too.
And this just...isn't what Dragon Age has been in the past. It isn't why I love the franchise. The whole game just felt, in a way, hollow. And this was a CHOICE and it is why the legacy characters are few and far between. Too many dragon age characters are just too...angry and complex for this game. You can feel them pulling their punches on this one. I have to imagine they did this because they didn't want to be criticised or have too much controversy? But I think it honestly goes far too much in the other direction and just makes it bland.
I can't imagine what I say here will be unique, but it is the basis for a LOT of my other thoughts on this game so I wanted to get it out of the way first. The softened Thedas and characters make this game by far the weakest in the franchise.
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Birthday [Harry Lewis/W2S]
Summary: You and Harry have barely been dating when his birthday rolls around.
Wordcount: 2.1k
Warnings: swearing probably, nothing major
Happy Birthday to our favourite!! In honour of his birthday, I wrote this (don't mind this being published when his birthday only has like an hour left)
Main Masterlist
You and Harry had only been romantically involved with each other for a month or two when his birthday rolled around. You’d sent him a birthday text in the morning, of course, but didn’t see him until later in the day. He spent the morning with the Sidemen recording some golf video, and them and his friends would all meet up at his around 5 p.m. You were kind of nervous when you showed up, because it was your boyfriend’s birthday. Especially because the relationship was still so new, you were a bit nervous about how it would go and what the deal would be. You knew his friends since you’d met through Josh years ago, being Freya’s lifelong best friend. You made your way into the friend group when you moved to London, and had celebrated his birthday with him plenty of times before, but this year was different. It was Josh who opened the door, not Harry, and you greeted him with a smile.
“Ah, look who’s here!” You give him a quick hug and greet Callum, who was just walking out of his room, with a smile. “I’ll tell him you got here, yeah?” He says, before he walks back to the living room. Harry’s roommates were both aware that you guys are more than friends, though you hadn’t explicitly told them. You’ve just taken off your coat and shoes when Harry walks in. “Oh, hello,” you turn around to him and smile. “Hey birthday boy,” you smile, holding out your hands for a hug, which he accepts. You smell the sweet cologne he usually wears when recording on his hoodie, as he holds you tight. You lean back, still looking at his face with your hands around his neck. “Happy birthday, my love!” You smile, placing a kiss on his lips. You can feel a smile form on his face as he pulls you closer to him. “Thank you, baby. Glad you could make it,” you jokingly roll your eyes. “What, you think I’d miss your birthday? I haven’t in years,” He lets out a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah, no, you haven’t. You look really nice, by the way,” he tells you, finally able to check you out. “Thank you. Now, do you want your present now or later?” You ask, and you interrupt him before he’s able to talk. “I know I didn’t have to get you anything, but I wanted to,” He smiles at your kindness, “Okay, thank you. I don’t know, I think a few people want to do it during dinner, but up to you,” You nod and think about it for a second. “I’ll give it later, then,” you say, dropping your tote bag on the floor. He nods, and walks back into the living room, with you following him. You greet everyone enthusiastically, not having seen most of them for a while.
At around half six, Harry walked up to you, nudging your side. You turn your attention away from Simon, who you were in conversation with. “I’m going to get changed, and then we’re going, yeah?” You nod, excusing yourself as you put down your empty glass. You quickly pack two wrapped presents out of your bag, before you walk into his bedroom. He turns around, his shirt already off. You still weren’t tired of that view, and you shameless looked him up and down. He was already in his black trousers, and it was a shame he had to put on a shirt. “Sorry, could’ve knocked,” You softly say, and he shakes his head, “No it’s fine, was just confused who it was.” He sticks his arms through the sleeves, and god, this shouldn’t be as hot as it is. You sit on his bed, and he looks at you curiously as he buttons his shirt. “Sorry, just admiring my view,” you admit, and you can see a slight blush spreading on his neck and chest. He doesn’t say anything back. , nervously smiling as he focuses on his shirt. “Anyway, I have some presents with me as well,” He looks up again with a smile, taking a seat next to you. You first hand him a flat, squared present, making him look up curiously. “Did you talk to Cal about this?” He asks, glancing over to the record player that was still in its box in the corner of his room. You shrug, not wanting to give away anything. He carefully unwraps it and takes out the vinyl cover. ��Oh wow,” he says, looking at the cover on the front, a photo you took of him and his friends last Halloween. He smiles, looking up at you, before he goes back to inspecting the cover and turning it around. He looks up at a soft smile of the picture of you looking at him, love evident in your eyes, and him looking down laughing. “Wow, that’s amazing. Is there an album in it?” He asks, looking at the pictures again. “So, Callum did mention to me how they were getting you a record player, yes. It’s, err, actually been custom pressed, it says the songs on the cover as well,” His eyes widen. “Oh wow, that’s incredible. Holiday pub golf version oh I love that,” looking on the A side, which had the picture with his friends. He turns it around, reading the B-Side, “Tiny Dancer, Elton John, oh that’s the one that played when we went on our first date, isn’t it?” You nod, and smile at the memory. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you’d remember that. Side A is like, Sidemen related songs, and like, Wild Ones and then the other one is like… Songs that remind me of you, and us,” she explains. “Ooh, Wild Ones, that’s a gem. Wow, thank you, this is really cool,” he embraces you, setting the Vinyl down on his bed for a second to embrace you. “Thank you, that’s wonderful,” he whispers, pulling back to give you a kiss. You smile, and kiss him back, the same butterflies exploding as the many times before. “Harry, we have to get to the restaurant,” You remind him when you take a second to catch your breath. “Yeah, yeah.”
The group arrives at the restaurant around seven, walking there from Harry’s place. You and Harry go in first to inform the staff of the reservation, whilst the group waits outside and chats. Because it was a slightly bigger group of about 15 people that were all relatively well known, he’d rented the small upper floor that was a small extension of the restaurant that would normally fit about twenty people. You go outside to get the rest of the group and enter the cosy room, that has a classy Italian aesthetic. They’d put the tables together, so everyone could fit around, and you take place next to Harry and Callux, Ethan sitting on the other side of Harry and Chip and Callum sitting across from you. You grab his hand under the table as everyone orders their drinks, shuffling a bit closer. When everyone has ordered, the boys decide it’s time for presents, before people get too drunk or too engaged in conversations. The boys make their rounds, at least the ones that didn’t give him anything already, before it gets back to you. Harry looks at you, not expecting you to have anything from him, as you get a small box shaped wrapped present out of your bag. “Y/N, you already got me something,” He lowly says, “No, it’s just something small, please just open it,” you ask, giggling at the thought of the present. Harry reluctantly takes it, tearing off the wrapping paper. He looks at the box, opening it to reveal six golf balls. “Wait, are these…” He looks at you with a laugh on his face, and you nod. “Oh my god, that’s amazing,” he lets out a genuine laugh, taking out one of the golf balls to look at it closely. Ethan looks over, also laughing at the images on the balls. A few of the guys look confuse, so you look at them to explain it, “They’re golf balls with pictures of me on them,” you tell them, and everyone laughs, wanting to see them. When Harry has the box in front of him, now empty as the balls are being passed around, he turns towards you. “Thank you, baby, I love that,” he says, leaning a bit closer. This was kind of dangerous, knowing his friends all surrounded you, but you didn’t really care. They’d know at some point anyway. “It’s just a silly thing, but I’m glad you like it,” you say, looking into his eyes you can see his smile in. He leans closer until your lips are touching, whispering another thank you before he gives you one last peck, moving back. He moves his arm onto the back of your chair, lightly grazing your shoulder, as you see Josh looking at you with raised eyebrows. Tobi clears his throat, “Anything you want to tell us, guys?” Harry’s eyes widen at the realization of what he’s just done, and you give him a reassuring smile. “Oh. Well, we’re, like, together. Please no big deal though, we’re just, you know,” Harry rambles, and you smile, taking his hand under his table. He briefly looks at you, and relaxes when he realizes you’re okay. “Ayy they both finally did it, everyone give it up for Harry and Y/N!” Chip exclaims as everyone cheers, and you hide on Harry’s shoulder as you chuckle in embarrassment. You sit up again and see Callux give you a small smile, leaning closer to you. “I’m glad you have each other, he has been happier because of you. And you seem more yourself, too. I’m glad,” he shared, making you smile. “Thank you, genuinely. And also for not really asking, took us a while to figure out what we wanted,” she admits, and he nods, “Of course. Oh, is it time for the thing yet?” He changes the topic, and you look back at Harry laughing with Ethan, Simon, and Callum. “Oh, yeah, can you ask Theo? He has the present,” Callux nods as you turn back to Harry, nudging him. “There’s one more present,” You say, interrupting the conversation. The boys all look at you, understanding the signal to shut up, and Harry frowns, trying to work out whom he missed.
Theo speaks up, “Okay, so, this is from all of us, really,” he tells him, looking around the group. “I do think I speak for all of us when I say you mostly have Y/N to thank, though, because she did a wonderful job working it out, but it’s a bit of a group effort, from us, to you,” He explains, handing over a square, somewhat thick, package. Harry looks around the group curiously as everyone expectantly watches him unpack it. “Harry through our eyes, a reminder of our love for you,” he reads curiously, opening the book. He opens it to a written page surrounded by group pictures of him and his friends and family. ‘Harry,’ it reads, ‘You’ve done so much for all of us, we wanted to give you something back. You mean so much to every single one of us individually, and you deserve to know. This is who you are through our eyes, hopefully you see the same magic we do in you.’ He looks up around the group, before he flips to the next page filled with crazy pictures of him. He lets out a chuckle, turning the page to see a combination of written texts and pictures. “You can read it all later, but it’s basically all of us and some more people sharing what they think about you. Stories, pictures, memories. Your parents and siblings are in it as well. Just, for whenever you need it,” you explain, as he flicks through the book. “Wow. Thank you guys, wow, that is so, umm, my god. Thank you,” he says, truly meaning it. You smile, resting your hand on his thigh. You make relaxing motions, Harry clearly a bit overwhelmed with his emotions, as he briefly looks through. “Oh wow, these are old,” he chuckles, looking at a picture Chris had taken of him the first time they’d met. He looks around the group once more. “Thank you guys, thank you,” He expresses once more, and everyone reacts with a smile, “Of course,” or some other form of reaction. Harry kisses your cheek as a thank you as he turns to you once more. “Thank you, it’s wonderful.” You smile, looking into his eyes. “You deserve to know how loved you are.”
#wroetoshaw#harry lewis#w2s#w2s x reader#w2s fic#w2s imagine#harry w2s#sidemen#sidemen x reader#harry lewis x reader
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It's a shame we can't have more seasons of Arcane. I love this series and think it has an amazing lore, however, the second season left me so sad because there's so many cool stuff we could have gotten if it wasn't so short.
So, I'm just gonna post here what I think we could have gotten if there was more time, more episodes:
• We need to see more of Caitlyn's mourning. And how it really affects her. I think it's bullshit her mother dies and then she starts to act like she suffered more than Zaun as a whole, but if it's the reason she becomes a fascist, a least make me believe it harder.
• We get more time seeing Vi ans Caitlyn develop a relationship.
• Loris and Vi become friends and spend more time together after joining Caitlyn's strike team. So we got more content of Loris and maybe even Steb and Maddie.
• Maddie getting closer to Caitlyn because she admires her would make her betrayal more.... impacting.
• Viktor leaves and we don't hear of him for a while after starting to heal the people of Zaun.
• We see more of Ekko, Heimmer and Jayce before they dissappear. Maybe just scenes of them in different times before they are gone.
• Jinx takes longer to deal with Silco's death. Through the season, she talks about him like she can't accept that she killed him and sees him once in her head. I think we could have more of that, because Silco was one of the most important people to her.
• Sevika and Jinx fight often. They have trouble keeping the Last Drop alive and people who want to take over the bar become a problem.
• Sevika has to deal with the other Chem Barons. If they were the antagonist for Sevika, Jinx and Isca this season, it would be cool. They can't make so many cool Barons and not use them.
• And maybe, by seeing Jinx defeating the Chem Barons and causing trouble to the Enforcers, Zaun would change their views of her and then the Jinxers and the Firelights start to act.
• Vi spending more time as a Enforcer and her relationship with Cait changes because of their views.
• Isha and Jinx bond.
• Mel is kidnapped by the Rose and has to go through changelles, as the Rose wants her to unlock her power.
• The big Fight in ep 3 could have been at the end. And it kinda off closes the season, with Vi staying behind, Loris finding her after leaving Cait and they leave together to Zaun. While the Jinxers become more famous, and Jinx is happier with Isha and Sevika.
• Next season, Cait gains more power. Maddie starts to slowly get closer to her.
• The Jinxers and the Firelights are still on their fight against the Enforcers.
• Jinx is living with Isha in a 'fantasy', like Sevika says.
• We could see more of Jayce's mom trying to find him. People worrying about Ekko, Jayce, Mel and Heimmer disappearing. And Tobias Kiramman's opinion on his daughter drastic change.
• Without the Chem Barons, the empire of Shimmers falls, but there's still people that need Shimmer. That's when we start to hear about the Harold.
• And start to hear about a monster in Zaun.
• Sevika is trying to keep Zaun together. Maybe she even has a meeting with the Firelights to discuss what to next, how to keep everyone safe.
• Isha is captured with the other Jinxers. Jinx and Sevika save her. They find Warwick.
• Vi and Loris are living together. Vi is dealing with the breakup in the best way possible, Loris is worried about her, but she won't listen to him and keeps hurting herself. After she crosses the line in of the fights and Loris sees she doesn't want to help herself, he puts a distance between them.
• Jinx, Vi and Isha go after Warwick in the tunnels.
• They don't know what to do with him. Warwick can't control himself, so they hide in the tunnels with him, and he starts to slowly warm up to them again.
• Maybe Jinx goes after Sevika, who's having trouble dealing with her new 'job', and with the fact she's just like Silco and Vander now.
• Vi goes ask Loris for help, because I think it would be hilarious for someone who doesn't know Vander to see him like this and go 'what the hell is that thing?'. And Loris could be the one who tells the girls about the Harold.
• We see Ekko, Heimmer and Jayce in other dimensions again, trying to solve the mystery of the Arcane. And then, they accidentally fall in different universes.
• Mel figures out Kino is dead and faces LeBlanc, who offers to train her after failing to contain Mel's power. So now Mel has a mentor and knows about her mother gaining power in Piltover.
• We also see Cait become more ruthless, with Maddie by her side, trying to convince her that Ambessa is right and there's nothing wrong with what they're doing. Steb is just on the background thinking 'I should have left with Loris'.
• What if Ambessa convinces Cait to pay a visit to the Firelights' tree? Maybe Cait tries to help them escape, or is the Jinxers, Vi and Jinx who fight the Enforcers and help them escape, and unfortunately they lose the tree.
• The girls take Vander to Viktor and we see him unblocking his past. While the girls fix their bond and try to help the Firelights and the Jinxers against Piltover.
• Jinx is happy, but she's still struggling with a lot of things. I don't think Vi completely accepts her as her new 'me'. Jinx causes a big explosion that the Jinxers love, but Vi is angry. They fight about Vi joining the Enforcers and Jinx becoming a criminal.
• We could see more of ther time with Silco, and she talks about it to Vi. Isha is there having fun with Vander and we could see more of him in the past with the girls, Mylo, Claggor, little Ekko and Benzo.
• Ambessa hears about the Harold and goes after them with Singed and her army.
• We see Ekko in the other universe. I'm just a sucker that wants more happiness and to see the family all together. I want him spending more time with Benzo, Mylo and Claggor.
• Vander starts to get better. He has a full conscience and can speak a few words. Everyone is happy and have papa wolf back.
• Ambessa arrives, fucks shit up. Isha dies, driving Jinx closer to the edge and making her angrier with Piltover and even more mad. Vander is fine, if he could have just ended as Warwick and not Vander, it would be cool. Would drive him closer to the game lore.
• Next season, we got the war.
• Later, Ekko comes back to his world with the Z-Drive, to help the Firelights, finds out his tree is almost dying and prepares to fight Piltover. Jayce is there too, he has been trough hell. Everyone agrees they need to stop Ambessa. Cait is there too I guess, after seeing how far Ambessa will go.
• Cait is dealing with the consequences of her actions. Her relationship with Vi is shitty, Maddie is still trying to convince her that she did nlthing wrong.
• Ambessa is forbidden of stepping in Piltover again and stays in Viktor's little village, while Singed tries to heal Vik and use Warwick. He wonders if Warwick is still Vander or if he's gone.
• Jinx left. She's dealing with Isha's death poorly. Seeing Mylo, Claggor, Vander and Silco, getting more mad. Sevika tries to talk to her, Vi tries, Ekko tries, she won't listen.
• Ekko, Vi, Cait, Jayce, Sevika, the Jinxers, the Firelights, Loris and Steb join forces to defeat Ambessa and Viktor.
• Mel hears about the war and wants to go back to help. She's more powerful now, but still struggles with her powers.
• Our little group of heroes goes to Piltover to convince the Counsil that Ambessa is shit and they need to be ready for war. Nobody listens but they won't give up.
• We see Cait and Vi getting closer again, Maddie is there too.
• Ekko tells Vi about that other universe maybe?
• Mel comes back, talks to Jayce and the others. They start to get ready. Cait tries to convince Vi to take her badge again, she refuses. Ekko finds out she was a Enforcer for a few months and gets mad.
• Jinx is doing crazy shit, fuck everything, she doesn't care anymore.
• Mel goes talk to her mother, we get a bit of background. Viktor envolve in his new form. Mel helps Warwick escape, and he runs away. She runs back to Piltover.
• We see Ambessa turning her soldiers into monsters with the help of Singed. And Singed stealing parts for his daughter.
• Warwick is somewhere having a identity crisis.
• They start to protect the City and Zaun. Sevika, Ekko, Scar and Gert convince the people of the Undercity to help protect their nation. Sevika is the one who spends more time with Jayce in the council, and has beef with the other Counselors.
• Jayce and Ekko work together to build weapons to protect the city. Bonding :)
• The war starts slower. We can see people preparing to fight, we get Vi and Cait talking. Please no sex scene in the prison, that actually upset me.
• Maddie is acting weird. Someone finds her doing suspicious shit. Loris and Vi bond, Mel and Jayce spend time together and break up.
• Can we see Jaycs talking to his mom about what he saw in the other time-line? Or just talking to her about his dream or something? Also, Cait and Tobias talk. Cait feels like shit for distorting her mother's work.
• Ekko goes talk to Jinx to try to convince her to help them, she refuses, but thinks Isha, who wanted to help so bad, would be upset. She starts to act in secret.
• The fight starts. The Undercity and Piltover are all together, it's pretty cool. Mostly of the same thing happens.
• Jinx comes in a cool entrance, Ekko and the Firelights and the Jinxers are with her. Warwick comes too, not quite Vander, but not quite Warwick.
• Viktor and Jayce fight. Or better, Jayce tries to talk Viktor out of his madness. Maddie gets shit and dies. Loris can die or not, don't know.
• Sevika is there fighting and saving people and just being badass.
• I think I would let the Rose take Ambessa right after she tells Mel she's the wolf.
• Viktor starts his shit to turn everyone into dolls. Singed is just having tea in his lair. Jayce and Ekko saves the day as normal.
• I don't know if Jayce dies with Viktor, or if Viktor has a moment of compassion and stops his actions, letting himself be destroyed, just to be revealed to be alive later and still planning to do crazy shit.
• With the fight over, we see Jinx go back to being a criminal, Ekko, Sevika and Vi work to change the undercity, and Jayce is there to help them.
• Ekko wants to make what he saw in the other time-line becoming reality. Sevika sits on the Council, knowing it would be a long time until they reach what Vander and Silco dreamed for Zaun.
• Warwick is running around, Vi tries to talk to him sometimes, but he always leaves. We get an almost good ending to everyone, and maybe see what the Undercity becomes one day.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#league of legends#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#mel medarda#jinx#vi#caitlyn kiramman#vander#Warwick#sevika#ekko#ambessa medarda#viktor#viktor arcane#isha
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Magneto, Nazi Hunter
There was a time after Magda left and after his disagreement with Charles that Magneto found himself with purpose unrelated to mutants. That's right, he enjoyed hunting Nazis and serving cunt in his pink jumpsuit.
Keep in mind that in 616 Nazis were far more persistent than in our world. Hydra, AIM, and a ton of other well-funded and organised groups weren't fazed at Germany's defeat in 1945. It's ahistorical for them to have an established stateless military, and I don't think the implications of that are remembered. Magneto remembers, though their military doesn't do them any good.
'Prussian officer' says a lot
He's not taking a great deal of care with soldiers' lives (as expected,) but interestingly he's working to see management before war crimes tribunals. He has some faith in human governments.
'Junker' 'Prussian' not only a Nazi but an aristocrat too. Ugh.
Mags is getting terrible headaches whenever he uses his powers. This plot point came and went a few times but never amounted to much. He pushes through it and captures the SS guy plus a ton of info about his buddies. He rings up his CIA handler and they're not as happy as he is.
After the mission he's reading about his old boyfriend Chuck in the paper while his girlfriend Isabelle suggests he relax. In an inversion of the Gaby Haller situation, Isabelle is his doctor. Mags is still haunted by the loss of his family, though Isabelle seems fairly supportive.
Alas, she's murdered while giving him a massage in revenge for interfering with an Operation Paperclip asset. Magneto is aghast, and I think it's fair to say this is the moment he loses all faith in human justice or goodness.
A smarmy shithead explains Cold War brinkmanship and bullies an asset he knows is a superhuman. Mags is deeply unimpressed.
He takes the time to mourn Isabelle, which is nice, though her fridging is a shame. Very CIA action. They're about to shoot him with metal bullets and Mags goes super Saiyan, blowing the top off the building and giving a proto-Supervillain speech.
Looming over the stupidest motherfucker in the world, he declares that he's giving up on coexistence altogether and yeets him over the horizon. Magneto is truly born. Aside from the master race and Ubermensch talk, I think he's entirely sympathetic in this issue. Despite having every reason to mistrust human governments, he was still willing to work with them at this point. For someone in his position, Paperclip and Control's actions must seem like the world has gone mad for a second time.
'They're Nazis. War criminals' he cries in disbelief and he's right. It's very easy to see how he became the man who'd hold the world to ransom to force disarmament. It's easy to say that he and Charles should have joined forces, but Chuck is quite privileged with no experiences like this. He even stayed closeted as a mutant until Cassandra Nova forced him out in the Morrison era. Mags didn't have that luxury and the world truly did its best to beat him down, reinforcing his beliefs.
#x comics#magneto#x men#charles xavier#professor x#the CIA#operation paperclip#nazis#cold war#max eisenhardt#marvel#comics
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Damn. You ever just see something that absolutely ruins your day? I'll get back to the kinktober entries later, but I need a mini break. I knew that not everyone on this site was going to be amazing and wonderful, but because I hadn't run into anyone who was less than fantastic I honestly thought I was just lucky enough to never have to interact with any of the less than awesome people.
#thank you to all the amazingly beautiful people who interact with me#you guys make me so happy#i enjoy writing things for you guys#i don't know how to deal with the shame of living#so i am sorry
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The biggest saving grace I feel I've done is to get into death positivity, to learn to appreciate death. It's definitely not going to help for many, but I have found that not stigmatizing my own interest and desire for death has greatly helped. Being able to interact with death not as a punishment, but as a way to express humanity has been truly what has made me feel more human. I no longer want to feel ashamed of this aspect of myself, and it's made me want to live. Death has done unto me life.
#death positive#death tw#death mention tw#suicide mention tw#ask to tag (genuine)#i have been trying to interact with more death positivity. it's helped not only my own thoughts but also grief...#...and grief is something i know intimately that i do not process and deal with 'normally'#i am CERTAINLY not saying that you should adopt these ideas for yourself but rather i am sharing what has worked for me...#...my hope is that i can help motivate others to find what works for THEM...#...to not feel SHAME over it. the shame is the enemy. the fear and self-loathing and self-hatred are the enemies...#...i used to feel so ashamed and humiliated about this aspect of me because of how... out there it was...#...but i genuinely cannot live the way the world does and i have TRIED#i don't want ANYbody EVER feeling that way. not if i can even try to help y'know?#i am really grateful to the people who have posted about death and the process because it has really been an important topic#death is nuanced and complicated and it isn't fair a lot of times - it's absolutely fair to not *like* death
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I used to be funny you know? I used to have good humour and now every time I try to crack a joke I just feel awkward like I could've gotten that one delivered so much better. Smitten with the curse of not being able to be serious while also being horrible at being silly. If you ask me I'd rather be smitten with other curses but such is life I suppose.
#people say I'm funny but when have I ever made anyone genuinely laugh is the question you know?#it's horrible when most of your idols are comedians or well rather actors that got famour through comedy and fictional characters who are#just funny in their own way and it's one of the most desirable qualities in a person don't you know#a good sense of humour is very important it's just a shame I don't really have it#I wish I knew how to make people laugh I really do#I'd hate to be boring on top of all my pthwr personality deficits#the awkwardness I can live with the theatrics I can accept and the lame humour i don't like but what other choice remains#but boring no I don't want to be boring#nobody ever talks about me though and I don't like that#not even negatively#i hate that i really do#everyone just thinks I'm nice I'm just nice and nothing else I'm a footnote in a world full of interesting people I'm the nice one#that you don't have an opinion on except “nice''#thats why I'd be happy about anon hate to an extent because that means someone thought about me#i always think about how once I'm dead I'll just vanish and I don't want that#i want to leave /something/ in this world I don't want to live my life being an afterthought and then be forgotten in death#i don't even mind being lame but I just don't want to be nothing#my head hurts again I should stop thinking ugh this is what happens when you sit in silence for too long#oh i don't know I guess it really is just the fact that when you constantly look at the stars and want to reach their light it's hard#to deal with the way that you're stuck on the ground and will never even get close no matter how hard you try#but such is life I suppose there's no use in lamenting the spilled milk#delete later
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saw the first volume of Cursed Princess Club in the store last Sunday as I was walking by the manga section, and the name was so unusual that I looked it up online when I got home, and found out it was on webtoons to read for free, and just finished it, and holy shit
literally one of the best stories I've ever read
#I don't even know where to begin it's just insanely well-written but also so deeply emotional and wholesome and wonderful#also there's a lady with a were-spider curse tied to her menstrual cycle which gets discussed casually and like#I've never seen menstruation discussed by fictional characters in such a natural and no big deal way it was fucking awesome#but literally everything about every character was so very well-written and presented in such a good way#like I dunno curses as analogies for disabilities and how they don't lessen a person's worth#and how people are still people deserving of love and how difficult self-love and self-acceptance can be#but also how important it is but also how it still sucks to live w/ certain things#and how you can be both angry about something and accepting of it at the same time#but also about how superficial and socially/culturally constructed ideals of beauty and worthiness are and how they're totally fake#and potentially harmful and also how it's possible to work around and against and restructure those ideals#but also it's about princesses (and a couple princes) kicking ass and being cool and also just being human#also I gotta hand it to the author for having a lady who totally enjoys sleeping around and isn't shamed for it whatsoever#there's also a character who's basically aroace and despite two men falling in love with her like#as soon as they find out she's not interested in relationships they back off and respect that and still treat her as a friend#and I dunno that's just neat#like it's satirical fantasy that deconstructs so many different fairytale tropes but it's also so genuine and sincere#that it somehow circles back to embody the heart of a fairytale in all the best ways possible#anyhow it's absolutely worth a read#oracle of lore
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There's this shitty thing about having trained yourself not to have needs, which is that you become so good at hiding them that even when you think you're signaling that you're upset and need help, it's so outwardly subtle that nobody really notices or they read it as a signal to leave you alone.
(Which is so wrongheaded in and of itself, like one needs to ASK for help not wait in silent agony for someone to notice you're in pain.)
and that sucks because it makes you feel like no one notices when you're upset because no one actually cares about you enough to pay attention
#it's such a self defeating behavior bc it's wanting people to be mind readers or whatever#to just be able to divine and anticipate your needs#kind of comes from the trauma response i think? like *I* am constantly trying to read moods and anticipate needs and reactions#like i want someone else to be as laser focused on my needs#as ive been on the needs of people around me living as a severe people-pleaser desperately trying to circumvent conflict#for as long as i can remember#but that's not really fair i think? because it's wanting people to act in a maladaptive way towards you?#to mirror your own maladaptive behavior#tell you what it's all Big Oofs and i really don't like it#i also hate the actual asking for help because *that's admitting i have needs* and not having needs = survival#it all just leads to problems getting really bad before i can even admit to myself i need to ask for help#godddddddd they did a number in me. like my parents weren't emotionally capable of dealing with my needs so they'd shut me down#with gaslighting or shaming or lashing out at me verbally#they didn't know how to help so instead they tried to make ''the problem'' (i.e. my difficult emotions) go away#they never went away but i did learn to stop asking for help or expecting anything but rebuke if i did
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#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
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i am so sick of feeling this immense guilt and having no hope for the future i am making a conscious effort to get better and create a life worth living for myself
#i go back and forth on what i think mental illness is#because it makes me want to die when i think of it as an unsolvable thing i will have to cope with for the rest of my life#but even if that's true i can still life a fufilled and happy life#i have a personality disorder so a lot of the symptoms of my disorder are learned behaviors#even if i will have to deal with some kind of fear of abandonment and over sensitivity my whole life i can still work on building healthy#relationships and learn how to handle my emotions without having big breakdowns#i had a manic episode that lasted like two months this summer#i was able to get through it without relapsing or harming myself too much#but now that it's over i feel this exhaustion and shame#and i don't have as much energy as i did during those months#i don't know i guess progress is progress#but it just fucking sucks and thinking about dealing with this for the rest of my life is so tiring#i feel unsure of my own reality at this point#i know that if i attempt to seek professional help and talk about what im really expirencing it would be labeled as psychosis#but i really don't think so#but if i am expirencing delusions i don't want to get to the point where im unhelpable#but i don't think that's what it is#i think that we live in a completely nonsensical society that does not support people#and i just can't understand it#and my poor brain is attempting to make sense of this bullshit world we are living in so of course it's going to draw strange conclusions#but what im worried about is that i am hearing voices#not often but sometimes i hear someone say my name or yell something unintelligible but no one's around me#and visually i see movement out of the corner of my eye but when i look it's nothing#i dont fucking know man#i'm trying to reconcile my spiritual beliefs and what i belive about human consciousness with the fact that i may be delusional#but i don't think so i think a lot of psychology is bullshit and we aren't treating people right#meds and institutionalsion is not going to help#id rather help myself than seek treatment from these people who i think have a warped view of how to treat people#i just dont fucking know#but im tired of hating myself and tired of wasting my time and my life wishing i was someone different somewhere else
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#vent post#day job has cut my hours to 4h or less per week#I haven't had an audition since summer or been on set since july#and the stuff i try to self submit too either change the role completely (like change gender or age range)-#or just never respond to my messages#even on messenger they didn't even bother to look!#so frustrating#there is next to no better job opportunities here#and i can't really afford to either buy a car or move closer to a city- cause you know- I'm not making any money!#like i feel stuck no matter what i do#quit current job and maybe end up doing the same damn thing dealing with the same problems + new ones#move out and struggle to live on my own or move in with a random ass roommate just to get by#stay with the current job and settle for less then bare minimum#i'm sick of fast food but it's the only thing i know and they only thing available here#i already tried to quit to focus on just acting but it's not possible with no income#i don't know what to do#i'm miserable- i'm exhausted#i stay up all night and sleep all day now and spend my waking hours stressed about this shit or just sitting here too tired to do anything#and the kicker is I'm kind dreading Halloween and my bday this cause i have no one to spend it with#i get it people are busy that's how it goes- but i just know my birthday will get ignored or go unnoticed#it happened last year- someone else had the same birthday and they were getting lots of love#yet i got nothing- the same people who are also my 'friends' they gave them love but said nothing to me -not a fb post or a message- nothin#made me feel so worthless#so lonely you know#i try to go online to make myself feel better or distract for a bit#and i keep seeing people suffer from stuff i can never comprehend asking for help and I can't help them#and i fell guilt for even being miserable while i have a roof over my head and food to eat and they lost everything#guilt shame anger you name it#it's just horrible#my post.
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At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me
I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to
Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head
#the problem is that doing things my way is actually working well; it's just really slow and it's coming from a bad starting point#everything that makes me miserable was even more miserable growing up#you maybe see me and think that I'm doing really horribly; and that may be true; but I'm also truthfully at my peak right now#and frankly as much as I worry about it A LOT; I'm kinda still on the rise in a lot of ways#...I just take way too long to do things; I want to be quicker because a lot of this stuff isn't... it's not being slow and steady#it's being depressed and having trouble working on shit#but... when I do stuff my way the end result tends to be strong#I got a house in 2019 for instance... like in that economy; I feel like that counts as a pretty high roll outcome; you know?#the parts of my life I hate are all... it's like Marley in the Christmas Carol; I've got all these chains around me#and... about 80% of those chains are just my mom or my mom's choices... she blows through so much money all the time#it makes me want to die#but all that shit... it's the past haunting me and drowning me#but shit's better than it was and... I have more friends now that I did in the past; I'm closer to making money than I've been in the past#(part of it is that I kinda want to get shit stabilized in the household; be doing stuff like cooking before I try and sell shit)#(also understand that everyone in high school liked me... we just never saw each other outside of school)#(so it was a situation where I had 'friends'; by that standard everyone at school was a friend)#(but I didn't have a single person I was close with and I was totally isolated in a crowd)#(friend is just a word in english that has to cover a really really wide range of relationships)#(but these days I do have actual friends... just a shame none of us live in the same town... or even state; you know?)#(I like all the people I went to high school with; they all cared a lot and were very bad at it)#(couldn't figure out that like... just give me some company; that's a good 80% of what I'm lacking)#(...I think part of it was they were all stoners and I wasn't; so they felt like... eh... like something something)#(and when I say all stoners I mean... I think... easily 80% of the school; probably 90% and maybe higher were all stoners)#(it uh... was not an easy thing for the staff; cause they obviously all knew; but... figuring out how to best handle it)#(like hell; I wouldn't want to deal with that)#(also like 95% were smokers... you have to understand that most of these kids were rich kids)#(off the top of my head I can only think of 2 other kids who were poor... just... uh...)#(if I named the city the school was in; you'd probably be like 'oh... makes sense')#(I liked everyone there; everyone liked me... just... they were very bad at just basic stuff like spending time together)#(eh... you don't need to hear more)
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can you write gentle yandere taking their darling for the first time vs mean sadistic yandere taking them for the first time?
Btw I love ur work 💖💘💗
tw: female reader, non - con, kidnapping, obsessive/possessive behavior, sadism, degradation, slut - shaming
Gentle ~
You know the type of guy I'm talking about. Big and buff, dark - haired, cries a lot. Watches romance movies in his free time and actually calls his mother even outside of the holiday season. Wears slutty little black fitted shirts after working out and brings you smoothies after work. He smiles and blushes. The man is a massive loser with an undying passion for anything nerdy, be it dragons, board games, collecting marks. Who would really expect this poor soul to hurt even a fly?
But he does.
It doesn't happen until months after he's taken you in. Most of the time he's being the perfect gentleman (aside from literally keeping you captive) - he cooks for you, brings you roses and chocolates (even when you throw them away or tear the petals from the flowers), cleans and doesn't make you lift a finger. He reads you poetry until your ears bleed. He tells you he loves you one hundred times a day and seemingly doesn't care about your snorts or the way you roll your eyes and push him away, already so used to your living situation you can't even find it in yourself to be scared. You think he's harmless - as harmless as a lovesick puppy.
But then one night he comes home, an unusual frown on his otherwise soft face. There is a certain type of madness in his hazel eyes. They are still so very soft and adoring, he still sees you as a Goddess in need of worship... but there is also something dark and muddy. Something possessive.
Your captor kisses you on the cheek and that much is granted - he does it every day, along with shouting "Honey, I'm home" at the door. He hugs you - tight. Tighter than ever before, it feels as if the man is trying to crush you in a suffocating embrace, like he wants to swallow you whole within his arms. For the first time you realise just how muscular he is - how much stronger he is. And then he picks you up like a blushing bride and leaves a quick peck on your forehead before taking you to the bedroom and carefully laying you down.
He doesn't give you time to ask questions - as soon as he steps a foot in your shared room, he's already tearing apart his clothes, revealing his ripped form.
"See anything you like, sweetness?" the man asks you, rubbing his hands together as he towers over you, caging you between two beefy arms. You stay silent for a moment, mouth agape at the suddenness of it all - you have never seen him like this. He starts caressing your cheeks and slowly moves down, and that's when it finally settles in your mind. You need to act quickly.
"Stop." you say authoritatively, just like you have done so many times before, praying it would work like it had in the past. But not now. This time he simply shakes his head, a crazed smile playing on his lips as he lowers his head and kisses your neck softly, lovingly. It's terrifying. You're not used to this. You don't know how to react. "Baby, I can't hold it in anymore." Your captor whispers, head resting against your shoulder, voice low and desperate - almost whiny.
"I really tried." he swallows thickly. "I swear. I tried cold showers a-and thinking about bad things but..." he bites his lip, staring at you. You look so small and helpless and, God, he respects you, he really does, but he can't help the way his crotch twitches and his pants tighten as he watches you squirm and tremble, oh-so-small and panicky, defenceless little hands scratching at his arms, but failing to make him budge.
"But every time I come home all pent up and annoyed after dealing with bastards all day, all I want is to bend you over," he continues after moving a lock of your hair out of the way so he can whisper directly into your naked ear. "And fuck-”, he says as he pins your hands to the bed frame, enjoying seeing you wiggle and pant. "The shit-" he can feel your heart beat faster and faster as your whole body gets warmer. It's awfully intimate. "Out of-" he's so excited now that he grabs your hips rather roughly, and ruts against your core, whimpering as his crotch rubs all over your clothed slit. "you".
He growls, now more akin to a lion or a bear than to a human.
He tries to enter you slowly so he wouldn’t hurt you, but the moment your tight velvety walls wrap around his hard throbbing length, he’s reduced to a feral whimpering mess, shoving at you in short sloppy thrusts, completely pussy - drunk. He lasts less than five minutes before he pulls out and cums all over your stomach, watching in fascination as his seed marks you. He slams his lips against yours, swallowing your hushed protests as he murmurs “Mine” over and over again, gripping your hips closer when he feels you pulling away.
Once his brain has cleared enough to be able to think properly he helps you clean up, touching you so gently you wonder if this wild, brutish side he exhibited was all but a dream. But it’s still very much there, barely contained under the surface - and one single moment of freedom and passion is enough to open Pandora's box.
After that night he feels a lot more comfortable with touching you, for better or worse.
Mean ~
He doesn’t wait for you to adjust to your ‘new life’ before he basically pounces on you like a predator. To be completely honest, he’s wanted to fuck you within inches of your life since the time he first saw you - the only thing keeping him at bay for a while were the countless pretty pictures he had of you naked and writhing in your own bed in the comfort of your home that all the secret cameras he had installed managed to capture.
Before he used to treat your home footage like his own personal cam - girl show; sometimes he would wait to leave work, jerking all over your face on his screen the moment he gets home. Other times he wasn’t so patient, and he had to sneak off to the restroom any time a thought about you occurred, stroking himself to completion as he blasted his recordings of your quiet moans on his headphones.
But now you’re here in the flesh - the real thing, tied so tight you can’t move an inch, trembling all over just like a bunny caught in a trap by the hunter. He wants you completely immobilised - he’s waited ages for this moment and he wants absolutely no distractions getting in the way of him finally taking his price.
You sob pitifully, your mouth the only part of your body left uncovered, and you try to plead with him desperately. You promise him money, influence, anything he wants - whatever would be able to get you out of this hellish predicament. You even offer to give him a blowjob - which he simply sneers at, grabbing a fistfull of your hair.
“Oh, doll, the night is still young. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” He looks possessed, ready to feast on your flesh. You shiver, curling into yourself as much as possible - but he pulls your legs on both sides of his thighs, his hands seeming grand across your rickety ankles. “You’ll get your chance to choke on this cock soon enough.” He grabs his bulge crudely, massaging it through his thick stained grey pants. “Right now all I want is to see this cute little pussy stretched on my meat and those pretty tits bouncing in the air as I slap them red.”
It really doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or not, you’re getting brutalised either way - although his comments would be different.
If you’re a virgin, he’s making sure you get the whole of his length in one - there is something terribly amusing about the toe - curling scream you let out as his cock tears you apart, something borderline pornographic in the way your brows twist and your nostrils flare, lips shut tight as to not give him the pleasure of hearing your pain out loud. But it’s obvious, and he wants you to know that he enjoys it through and through - licking your tears and the sweat off your neck, pinching at your thighs, your breasts, your stomach; whatever makes you cry the most.
If you’re not a virgin, he still finds a way to get his fun out of you.
“I don’t feel you clenching on me, you little slut.” He smacks your cheek with little force behind it - it’s not meant to hurt you, but to humiliate you and drive his point across. “Did you have a fucking train ran on you? I should have known you’d be a filthy whore.” He bites at your lower lip, pulling at it until he hears you whine pitifully - leaving his mark on you. “Should’a known with these cocksucking lips of yours, and ngh-” He sinks into you, voice breaking once the tip of his dick brushes against your cervix. “And t-those slutty hips, shit, keep squeezing me just like that, n-ngh, I am going to ruin you all over again!”
He fucks you for who knows how long - when he’s finally satisfied, the sun is already up and you’re drenched in sweat and cum. There isn’t a single part of your body that doesn’t ache.
He leaves you there, snickering at the sight of your empty stare fixed on the ceiling - only reaching to untie you and cuff your ankle to the bed frame instead. You weakly raise an eyebrow in question.
“Stay here until I come back, okay?” He grins with malice, caressing your wet matted hair. “Hah, not that you can really go anywhere.”
#yandere#yancore#male yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere smut#yandere oneshot#yandere x you#yandere male x reader#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader
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Favors in exchange for kisses
warnings: kisses, English its not my first language, small mention of blood. f!reader
1,5 K words
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You don't know exactly how you got into this situation with Jason. But you're not complaining.
It started months ago, when your long-time friend Dick Grayson heard you complaining about not having a place to live and mentioned that he knew someone you could trust to share an apartment with, with his brother, Jason Todd.
You were hesitant to accept, after all, you didn't know Jason Todd, but this was Gotham, and finding someone you could trust to share an apartment with was almost impossible. And it would only be for a while.So you went to live with Dick Grayson's brother.
Jason was kind of quiet, mysterious, and his blue eyes left you a little confused and breathless. It took you a while to be able to have meaningful conversations with him, it was hard to learn more about him, but little by little you won a small space in his life.You discovered his favorite books, learned his schedule, understood how sometimes he didn't want to talk, other times he was more open, and you learned to appreciate those moments when you both talked, laughed and smiled softly.
Then came the biggest problem.
Jason was too helpful.
You simply didn't know how to deal with someone who did so many acts of service. When he found out that banana pancakes were your favorite, he woke up early and cooked them. When you complained about that wood that was making noise in the living room, he fixed it immediately. Even when carrying your bag down the street, he would magically appear and hold it. Your coffee was always with those three drops of milk, just the way you liked it.
And when you tried to reciprocate, he seemed almost offended. Like the time you made a big meal, he was offended, you seemed tired from the effort and he didn't like that. Even when you cleaned his things he seemed irritated, you weren't supposed to do things for him.
After months of looking for ways to thank him for his helpfulness, you discovered it in an unusual way. Your room wasn't fully furnished, even months after moving in you were still buying furniture and needing to assemble it. Jason dismissed all the delivery people from the store and said he would assemble it himself, using the excuse that he didn't like strangers in his space.
"You spoil me," you joked with him, sitting on the floor as you watched Jason working on your new vanity. It wasn't a bad sight, Jason's large hands proving skillful and efficient, his t-shirt revealing his biceps that made you a little dizzy.
"I find doing manual labor relaxing." He replied, glancing at you and smiling slightly. You hummed in response, resting your chin on your knees and admiring Jason. You wanted so badly to find something to thank him for, something to show him that you were grateful for him.
When he finally finished the job, he stood up and held out his hand to help you. After gaining momentum, your hands instinctively went to his arm and gave it a squeeze.
"Thank you so much, Jay."
He was silent, you were silent. It seemed too intimate a touch, you were nervous, afraid he wouldn't like it, that he would ask you to never touch him again, which would be a shame because your hands could feel the heat of his skin. Then he smiled. He smiled, a dimple in his cheek.
"Nothing, princess."
After that, the touches became more frequent. Every time he did something adorable, you would touch his arms or his hand. Like the time he carried all your college books for meters and you held his hand in thanks (you stayed like that for longer than usual).
Another big step was when you arrived tired, from a horrible day, and you found Jason smiling shyly at you, the apartment smelling of your favorite food. As you washed dishes side by side, your hips touching, you lifted your feet and kissed his cheek, whispering a thank you. His reaction was adorable, his neck slightly red, his eyes blinking at you in a silly way that made you smile back.
So you continued, becoming a little bolder every time he did something to please you. It seemed impossible now to go back to the time when you didn't touch him, and you could swear he liked it. There were times when you could almost feel him sigh when your kiss on his cheek went all the way to his jaw.
When he came back from patrol, bruised and bleeding, he wouldn't let you help him. He would never dirty your soft hands with his blood. But he enjoyed it when you sat next to him, stroking his hair and talking to him in that calm tone, trying to make him relax with more pleasant conversations. A routine was established.
Jason was a little quiet sometimes. At first you thought he was grumpy and moody, but you soon discovered that he was just someone with poor social skills, and you managed to establish a way to show that you cared about each other.
"Hum, I stopped by the pharmacy, but your order had already been picked up." You jumped, startled by Jason's sudden arrival. For such a big guy, he had an impressive ability to be silent. Damn Batman training.
"Jay, hi." You greeted, as you leaned on the kitchen counter, casually scrolling through your phone. "Dick got it for me, he was just passing by."
He fell silent, making you look up from your phone to look at him. Jason's eyebrows were furrowed, his lips forming a frown.
"Why?" You blinked slowly.
"Why what?"
"Why Dick got it for you. I was going to get it for you." He looked almost... annoyed, frustrated that he hadn't gotten the product for you.
You blinked slowly again, tilting your head.
"He...was closer. I didn't mean to bother you."
He let out a huff, looking annoyed, like when a dog sees his owner reading a newspaper another dog brought.
"Jay?" You called out to him, almost shivering when his blue orbs stared at you.
"I'm the one who does your things. Why is that idiot Dick getting involved?"
"I don't want you to feel like you're my employee, that's all."
He huffed again, looking indignant. Another problem with Jason Todd: he didn't say what he was feeling, it was like trying to win the lottery with blurry numbers. Then he approached you, his posture looking like he was preparing to interrogate a criminal, his hands resting on the counter.
"Did you kiss him?"It certainly wasn't what you expected to hear. Your mouth fell open, your eyes wide.
"What?"
It was the only intelligent thing your lips formed.Jason still had that indignant look on his face, his blue eyes half-closed. He was too close and you felt a little cornered, the kitchen seemed small, the air harder to breathe. You stared back at him.
"Why do you think I kissed Dick?" You repeated, still that confused expression. You would be offended if your brain was working perfectly.
"You kiss me when I do favors for you!" He murmurs.
Oh. That was it.
You let out a breath, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.
"Jason. Do you think I kiss the mailman every time he brings letters?"
"God, I hope not."
You both stay silent, your hands going to the hem of his shirt, unable to control yourself, squeezing it between your fingers, the weight of the unspoken words.
"Jay. You know...you don't have to do me favors to receive my affection, right?" You whispered, your eyes roaming all over his face, his beautiful features, his slightly crooked nose, his lips that looked so kissable.
"But I like it. I like taking care of you. Fuck, I want to take care of you always."
He himself seemed shocked by the intensity of the words, his eyes widening, his heart beating out of control, just like yours.
"Jay." You let out a breath, your hands rising to his face, caressing his cheekbones. You shivered when his hands held your hips, keeping you firmly against the counter. You didn't know what it would be like to kiss Jason, of course, you had already thought about it a lot, more than was healthy.
And when you finally pulled his face to you, pressing your lips, slightly chapped but still soft, against his. You dominated the kiss for a few seconds, being gentle as you held his face, but then something seemed to snap in Jason, he held you with impressive ease, pressing your hips against the counter and thrusting his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your soft moan. His hands were all over your body, hungry, as if he couldn't lose you.
"Only I can take care of you," he growled against your lips, his breathing heavy.
"Yes. yes," you said, caught in the haze of Jason's kisses, your eyes almost closing again.
"Good," he whispered, before kissing you again, fiercely, his hands gripping the back of your neck.
You were fine with this deal of favors in exchange for kisses.
⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷《 ✮ 》⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷
Inspired by a post I saw about Jason's love languages headcanon. Jaybean is just a guy who doesn't know how to show love in a normal way!!! But we love him anyway. I hope you liked it! I'm very happy to start posting things here, slowly gaining courage.
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Living With The LeClercs » Charles LeClerc
Summary: take a peek into the life of the leclerc family and see what they get up to
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,402,505 others
charles_leclerc: off season complete ✅ batteries are recharged after yet another amazing holiday with the fam
39,503 comments
scuderiaferrari: looking forward to having you back with us next week charles 🏎️
landonorris: i refuse to accept that y/d/n is yours, she's too beautiful to have your genes
ynusername: @/landonorris she just takes after her mother instead 😇
username1: nooooo, f1 season means we get less dad pics from you charles
username2: i don't ever want the dad charles era to end 😭
ynusername: thank you for the best three months, i couldn't wish for a better dad to our little humans 💕
schecoperez: you're putting me to shame with all these adorable snaps, i better start uploading too
lance_stroll: calling dibs on being first to offer babysitting during the season btw
danielricciado: @/lance_stroll you take one i'll take the other, mini charles' are a lot to handle
lance_stroll: @/danielricciardo you've got yourself a deal
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris and 832,420 others
charles_leclerc: race day is always better with these two babies causing chaos 🥰
29,908 comments
carlossainz55: as cute as your children are, can you hurry up and stop uploading to instagram...some of us have got meetings
username3: y/s/n is hands down the coolest kid at the paddock this weekend
username4: why do i get the impresson project leclerc jr is well underway with y/d/n 🤔
oscarpiastri: STOP SHOWING OFF HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR FAMILY ARE 😡
maxverstappen1: maybe y/s/n will have a better chance of beating me to the top of the podium than you
charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 one day...he's got his eyes on you! apparently you're his favourite driver
maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc tell him that he's got excellent taste
ynusername: not you promoting letting toddlers get behind the wheel of high speed cars 🙄
danielricciardo: if you're looking for a coach, you know who to ask
charles_leclerc: @/danielricciado you think i'm not capable of coaching my son
danielricciardo: @/charles_leclerc sure...but if you want him to learn from a proper driver, just gimme a call 😂
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 294,405 others
ynusername: following this man around all day, trying to keep the kids from hugging daddy is a hard day’s work (see second pic for proof 😂)
12,492 comments
landonorris: if charles isn't interested, tell the kids that uncle lando will always be ready for a cuddle
iamrebeccad: i've never done so many steps before, who knew chasing after 3 year olds was such hard work 💫
ynusername: @/iamrebeccad i did try to warn you!! you should've listened
pierregasly: he's just tryna play it cool y/n, he isn't as cool as he used to be
username5: imagine being lucky enough to walk around the paddock and just see y/s/n and y/d/n everywhere
kevinmagnussen: tell them to have a sniff of charles after being in a race car for 2 hours y/n...that will soon be enough to put them off 💩
lilymhe: i want them to chase me and give me all the cuddles in the world
username6: you just know in any free moment charles is secretly looking around wanting his kids back beside him
username7: everyone say thank you to y/n for yet another round of hot dad charles pics 🙏🏻
oscarpiastri: why can't you hug me as lovingly as you hug your son? you're supposed to me my dad too
charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri "adopted"
oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc IT ALL STILL COUNTS
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liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri and 829,407 others
charles_leclerc: like father like son…the leclerc smile is deadly
78,445 comments
username8: officially the cutest photographs to ever be uploaded to the internet 🥺
username9: excuse me charles leclerc you cannot just spring photos like this on us without warning
oscarpiastri: i smile like this too...family?? 🥰
maxverstappen1: if i had to pick y/s/n definitely looks cuter
username10: i was not emotionally ready for this adorableness 💔
carlossainz55: deadly?? you look like the squishiest marshmallow
username11: @/carlossainz55 i think you've been spending too much time on the internet 😬
ynusername: my two favourite boys, how did I ever get so lucky?
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername there's no way you're the lucky one, that title belongs to me mi amor
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynusername, carlossainz55 and 527,492 others
charles_leclerc: I’ve been posting a lot about my human kids recently, so here’s a shoutout to my other child so he doesn’t feel left out
43,482 comments
oscarpiastri: damn i almost thought that this post was gonna be about me
charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri i swear one more comment and i will block you, son or not
landonorris: how dare you mistreat leo like this
username12: @/landonorris #justice4leo
username13: charles leclerc...father of 3
ynusername: leo could never be forgotton, he's our favourite four legged child
alex_albon: @/ynusername also your only four legged child 🤔
estebanocon: cute kids, cute dog...how do you do it leclerc??
yukitsunoda0511: asking for a friend...do your kids also poo in the middle of the paddock or just your dog
username14: @/yukitsunoda0511 YUKI not you stitching charles up like this! 😂😂
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by estebanocon, lance_stroll and 728,493 others
charles_leclerc: my favourite things to do, being a dad with a bit of gaming too 🥺💕
53,684 comments
ynusername: where does being a husband rank in all of them??
charles_leclerc: @/ynusername you’re still my number one 😍
username15: if charles won't appreciate you come and marry me instead
maxverstappen1: so bad at fifa you've resorted to table football i see 🫢
carlossainz55: don't worry charlie, i'll beat you at that kinda football too
username16: not you forgetting the woman that gave you those two adorable humans charles 🤦🏻♀️
username17: public apology incoming
danielricciardo: and you just happened to be playing table football with your top off did you? 🤔
charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo it was all just coincidence...promise
georgerussell63: charles leclerc giving the fan girls what they want since 2018
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liked by lewishamilton, landonorris and 842,348 others
charles_leclerc: appreciation for the wife so she doesn’t get jealous 😂 I love you honey, thank you for our perfect family ✨🔥
53,372 comments
carlossainz55: if you heard him gush about you as much as i do y/n you'd know there is never anything to be jealous of
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 what sorta thing does he say?? 🤔
charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 do not throw me under the bus like this!!
landonorris: one of you looks perfect, the other looks like he needs a haircut and to sort his beard out
username18: i hope you know how lucky you are charles
username19: how does y/n manage to look that good running around after y/s/n, y/d/n and charles all day???
logansargeant: can you stop making all us single people feel even more single pls 😭
schecoperez: the second best family in formula one
danielricciardo: @/schecoperez SAVAGE! 💪🏻
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynusername, scuderiaferrari and 1,392,503 others
charles_leclerc: just a post to remind you all I can do both…no dad bod around here 🫢
101,372 comments
username20: DADDY!? 💦
landonorris: how many takes did it take you to get that shot in the gym?
carlossainz55: @/landonorris i was there...for several hours
username21: soft dad charles will always be my fave
ynusername: is there anything that you can't do? you take my breath away charles leclerc 💫💕
oscarpiastri: one day i hope to be as strong as you are...dad
charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri BLOCKED
alex_albon: i don't know who looks more tired, you or y/d/n
charles_leclerc: @/alex_albon me, definitely me, but i wouldn't change it for the world
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 reaction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula 1 x you#formula 1 social media#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula one#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you
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