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james-silent-hill · 4 months ago

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PLEASE MIND THE TAGS AND NOTES!!

(NOT ALL TAGS APPLY YET BECAUSE ITS A MULTI CHAPTER FIC)

A Female reader/ James Sunderland fanfiction, part 1.

Enjoy:

‘Violate me'

"What?" James spins around, a mixture of confusion and distaste written all over his Features.

"What? I didn't say anything." You huff, he's been on edge this whole time. Sure you both seem lost in this place, you don't even remember how you got here. All you know is that you woke up with your upper body resting on a bar table. Wearing something you would have never picked out for yourself.

Red high heels with a slightly ripped and thin Pantyhose.

A tight denim skirt and a stomach free Black top. The only jacket you got is James green one, pulling it tightly around your shoulders.

"Sorry, I thought I heard you say something" James shakes his head to himself, guiding the two of you with his flashlight towards another empty and cold looking place. Maybe he can get a fire started or something.

When he helps you climb inside through the window he stops to stare at something causing you to lightly run into his side "What?!" He spins around again, a form of anger on his face.

"What's wrong with you? You stopped moving and I didn't see shit in here" You huff.

"No you said something this time, I know you did." His body language makes you feel uneasy and you are slowly reconsidering if you can actually trust him.

"I didn't. I swear. What do you keep hearing me say?" Now you are curious.

"Forget about it. Just...if you are messing with me, stop okay?" He turns away and starts collecting wood. Or more like parts of the inner walls tossing them on a pile. Hopefully a fire works out here.

After a few too many failed attempts of him trying to make a fire you step in, you manage the first time you try. Watching the dry wood burst into a bright and big fire, it warms your skin, it looks tempting to touch, if only it wasn't so dangerous.

James pulls up two chairs close by the fire, holding on tightly to his metal pipe with an eye on the window.

"Ugh these are fucking killing me, I don't even know why I'm wearing them" your hands pull on one of the Red high heels. Rubbing at your ankle before you do the same with your other foot. "I don't know why I'm wearing any of this" You sigh.

Not exactly survival attire.

His gaze is glued on your legs, watching your hands massage your ankle and calf muscle.

'Hurt me'

He hears you whisper even though not a single sound left your lips.

"I'm sorry." James frowns deeply.

"Sorry for what?" You place the heels next to you, inching your feet closer to the fire, picking at the torn fabric of your pantyhose.

"For being angry, I don't mean to be. It's just...this place" it drives him mad the way your fingers toy with the thin fabric. Tracing your thigh with his eyes, fighting an urge to pull at the denim skirt to see your legs connect to your hips.

"It's okay, I'm kinda used to that stuff, you just gotta be able to handle it when it comes back at ya" when your eyes meet his thin lipped polite smile is almost unsettling.

"You get angry too?" He asks.

"Yeah, I've lived in an angry home for many years, so, there will always be anger." But you don't want to go down the trauma lane today.

And thankfully James doesn't ask anything further. It's just the two of you and a blazing fire in a run down old store. His face lit up by those flames almost seems nostalgic, but the sad kind, fond memories written over with painful ones, the kind you'd rather forget about.

"We can rest a bit but we shouldn't stay too long" James is always in a hurry to get somewhere but only barely knows to where.

"Okay." You nod, breathing in deeply, the scent on his jacket reminds you of something. Decay. And a probably failed attempt to mask that scent with a way too aggressive aftershave. You enjoy not having your feet in those shoes and your legs strained from the uncomfortable angle for a few moments longer before James seemingly gets more and more uncomfortable.

"Hey you okay?" You put your hand on his shoulder but he flinches away from your touch.

"You are sure you aren't saying things?" His eyes seem desperate for reassurance or...for you to confess to something you didn't do.

"Positive. We were sitting in silence" He seems to dislike that statement a lot.

"So i'm just crazy then, great" He nods, he's tired, god he's so tired.

"If you tell me what you heard or what you keep hearing then maybe we can figure it out or something?" You shrug.

Something in his eyes seems off again.

"No..No it's...- it's Vile. It's awful." His breathing picks up speed when your body turns towards him and you place your feet at the edge of his chair.

"Just talk to me. Everything about this place is Vile and..awful" You huff.

"I keep hearing you say things that you aren't, stuff you certainly don't mean. It's so...off putting. It's like I'm reading a mind that isn't there, because I know It's nothing you would think or say." He really is uneasy about this.

"James, what am I saying?" You wonder.

"Violate me."

"That's what I heard the first time. And then I heard Hurt me." He can't look at you at all.

"Oh? Wow. Yeah I really didn't say that" Why would you say such things? Doesn't make any sense.

"Is that all you heard?" Is there more? If there is, you hope it won't be as bad as 'violate me'.

"Just a moment ago I could have sworn I heard you say 'let it all out on me' " His eyes wander to your legs again, how easily spreadable they look. The voice is dripping filth in his ear again, he can't believe he's hearing such words especially knowing the woman in front of him didn't say any of them.

"Let what out? Anger? Frustration? In what way?" But while you finish your sentence your eyes trace his, the way his gaze is lingering on your knees, picturing something.

"Wow...okay, that's, that's a lot and that's not okay" You turn away from him putting the shoes back on.

"That's what I mean, I'm sorry, I know this all seems so messed up. I'd never.." He shakes his head "I would never." He says in a firm and loud tone.

"Bare minimum but good to know" You give him his jacket back, feeling uneasy in the cold and under his gaze now that you stepped away from the fire. You don't do that anymore, be a thing for fucked up guys who need to unwind. An object they can toss out once they get tired of it.

"Don't go! Please, you're gonna get yourself killed in those heels. Or in the cold." He keeps his distance but offers his jacket back to you.

You hate that he's right.

The longer you hesitate to take his jacket back the sadder his eyes seem. Almost as if he's really haunted by what he said, and by what he's hearing.

You reach out and take his jacket, pulling it over your shoulders and tugging your arms in front of your chest. "I used to...say these things. I don't say them anymore" his gaze truly does appear to soften.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He slowly takes his seat back by the fire.

"Used to drink and Party a lot. Hook up with the fucked up ones you know? And one night I.. -" You hear the brakes of a car loudly in the distance. The sound of a horrible crash almost bursts your eardrum.

"Did you hear that???" You jump up to look out of the window but there aren't any driving cars. Or people. Let alone a real road for cars to drive onto.

"Hear what? I didn't.. " James follows to peek outside. It's just as silent and as foggy as it was when you two came in here.

"Sounded like a horrible crash" You frown. A memory floats in your head somewhere unable to reach it, unable to really remember.

"Strange. Feeling like there is something you have to remember. Need to remember. But it won't come to you no matter how hard you try" You point out and when you turn around James is just a few inches from you.

He's beautiful.

If only his eyes weren't so haunted, it's a look you remember, the edges of the eyes slightly red and the shape of the eye feels..taunting.

It's a pair of eyes you see staring down at you, slamming your body into the mattress as hard as they can while pouring another drink down their greedy throats. You let them. You didn't fight. You didn't want to fight it.

A part of you always liked it.

It feels as if he knows, knows that deep down you want to be roughed up, have bruises on your hips and wrists for days.. reminders of their brutality.

He looks at you as if he can see you touching yourself to those memories. Clench your bruises while you climax to be reminded of the feeling again, and again and again.

He looks away first, trying to keep his composure. God he's trying so hard.

"This has to stop. These things we keep hearing, I can't..- I can't focus, I forgot where i was heading! What I had to look for." He frowns. A bottle of whisky smiles brightly at him in the rubble of the rundown store. He can't. He can't have a drink not now. Not here. Not with you.

He can't even look at you for too long or these thoughts or voices whatever they are come back. They always come back.

"Let's just stay busy, let's keep going, you said you had to find something in an Apartment?" You tilt your head taking the map from his jacket pocket. A set of heavy door keys jingle in the same pocket.

"Let's head there and not stop no matter what we see or hear, okay?" You shift your weight on your heels when you don't get an answer straight away.

"Okay James?" You try to see what he's looking at this time but.. you two don't see the same things in here. You probably never will.

"Yeah." He grabs the metal pipe from the chair and then he's out the door, waiting for you to catch up.

______

At the Apartments.

The tension didn't ease up much but at least you have something new to do, you have no idea what he's searching for but as long as he kills those monsters for you, you gladly tag along.

"You okay?" You ask when he's staring off into the distance again.

"Voices." He replies with an exhausted sigh.

"What did they whisper this time? I mean.. can't get that much worse right?" He doesn't respond at first and you sense this weight on his shoulders again, if his Guilt was a rain cloud it would follow him around everywhere.

"Squeeze until my eyes roll back" He whispers.

"Oh" choking was a big part of it, everytime you were dumb enough to trust someone with it, it could have been the last mistake you've made.

Nobody luckily ever took it too far, or you wouldn't be here right now.

"Are you hearing things about me?" He asks before trying to solve some kind of puzzle looking thing.

"No, I don't hear any voices but..-" You hesitate.

"But?" He turns looking at some type of button in his hand not sure yet what to do with it.

"But I can see it.”

“In your eyes I mean." You avoid his gaze this time.

"See what?" He takes a gentle hold of your shoulder.

"Death." You frown when his haunted gaze turns sad, desperate, trapped.

"My wife, she- she passed" He lies.

"Oh shit. Sorry! I'm so sorry about that, I shouldn't have said it" You really didn't mean to remind him of that.

"Was it very recent?" Trying empathy on a man like him is playing a dangerous game, you've done it too many times.

"It's been three years" He mumbles while solving the little mystery by replacing some buttons.

"You look like it happened yesterday".

You hear a door in the distance unlock and watch James step away from the table the puzzle was on, he seems colder now, you probably overstepped a little. You two are strangers after all. Maybe it's not for you to say how he looks or how he might be feeling.

"You don't look too happy either, it's in your eyes too, your cheekbones, the way they look a bit sucked in. Alcoholic?" He asks not so gently.

"Used to be a lot of things, but I never had a Problem with that" You stand on this. Wrongly so.

"Sure." James nods before he walks past you, he doesn't seem to believe a word you said. Takes one to know one maybe? No. You never had a problem right?

_____

The stroll through the different run down Apartments it's exhausting in its own way. Your feet really really hurt by now and ever since you mentioned how James looks as if his wife passed yesterday he's been distant. Maybe the memory of it just simply hurts and he needs some time to cool down again.

You suddenly feel a grip on the jacket, yelling out as you get flung across the room by something, something big and scary wearing a Triangle shaped helmet carrying a huge sword.

You hear James gun go off a bunch of times but the landing you took knocked the air out of your lungs. That thing turns around and walks towards you, James Shooting doesn't matter at all.

It grabs you by your throat and...this must be it. You'll die here. Your punishment for what happened 3 months ago..

The realization of it weighs deep in your gut, the guilt you feel pouring into every inch of your skin makes you sick. And then the Monster drops you,it slowly walks out of the Apartment and you hear the sound of the sword dragging behind it get further and further away.

"I did it. I killed him..- I killed him, I killed that poor kid" You shake your head violently. Hands shaking. Every fiber in you craves a drink.

"What? Hey, calm down, what are you talking about?" James tries to lift you up from the floor but you won't budge. So he kneels down next to you.

But instead of confessing anything you just push yourself up against him, arms wrap around his torso while your head rests on his chest.

Being held like this while the memory of a crash comes back to you helps but in the end..you are here for a reason, crying about it won't be enough, everyone in silent hill needs to pay for their sins. You shouldn't have driven that night, in the rain, after a bunch of drinks. You took a risk and it backfired.

And then you ran. Not wanting to rot away in prison for killing that 17 year old in the other car, you ran and you ran until you woke up here, lost, stranded.

Now two haunted pairs of eyes are gazing at each other. None of them are better than the other.

________

I hope you liked it!

Here you can read it or bookmark it on A03 !

Part 2 right here

#silent hill fanfiction #silent hill 2 fanfiction #silent hill 2 remake #james sunderland #james sunderland x reader #james sunderland x female reader #archive of our own #james sunderland fanfiction #my writing #chapter 1

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wwinterwitch · 1 year ago

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buy me presents — joel miller

summary: you and your ex situationship reunite at a christmas party

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 3.1K

tags: age gap (mid 40s and mid 20s), no outbreak, you fell hard and didn't know he fell harder bc he's an idiot!, miscommunication, angst, awkward reunion, everything gets fixed at the end tho don't worry, tommy is featured

note: i've been listening to fruitcake non-stop and i had this little idea that turned into an entire fic. it was kinda shitty at first but i decided to give it a try anyway

reblog or comment if you enjoy please!

all masterlists | pedro pascal masterlist

You always thought that going after older guys meant having absolutely no problems when it came to maturity and commitment. Guys your age are so good at playing games, keeping you guessing, too afraid to make it official.

So, evidently, when you met Joel at his workshop you were over the moon. He was charming, incredibly handsome and single. You still remember his attractive smile and the way he'd lean way too close to you, offering to fix the piece of furniture that you showed up with that day in exchange for a nice dinner and your phone number.

Everything looked good in the beginning. He was a true gentleman, so sincere and attentive, and you were foolish enough to believe he actually considered you special enough to pursue a relationship with you.

In your defense, he really tricked you. Showing you pictures of his daughter, taking you out on countless dates, interested to know as much of you as possible, texting non-stop...it was like a dream come true. After many terrible relationships with pathetic and insecure little boys, you found a wonderful man willing to give you exactly what you were craving.

But then everything changed after seeing each other for almost four months. Because he'd always get super defensive whenever you asked him why you always had to meet at your apartment and never at his house. Or why he refused to introduce you to his family. Or why he kept introducing you to people that happened to see the two of you together as 'a friend of his'.

Tired of this uncertainty, you decided to confront him. It was a very messy conversation. You asked what you were, he said he didn't know. You asked if he had any intentions of asking you to officially be his girlfriend, he said he probably wouldn't. You cried, he didn't know what to do about it.

You kicked him out of your apartment that day and that was the last time you ever heard of him. No texts, no calls, no one waiting outside your apartment or showing up at your work with a well-deserved apology.

Were you just stupid for thinking he was into you the way you were into him? Did you get your hopes too high a little too soon? Was there something wrong with you? Were you overreacting?

Yes, no, whatever– you wanted someone to go all the way with you, thought it was Joel, and he turned out to be like every other guy you've met. It sucks, but you gotta move on. You've dealt with a lot of shitty men to know better than to suffer for one.

The heartbreak Joel caused soon turned into a mixture of disappointment and annoyance before it turned into nothing but an unpleasant memory. Soon enough, Joel Miller was out of your mind, and you were more than ready to jump right in into the dating world again. Maybe it was pathetic, but you still refused to lose hope that the right guy will show up in your life and change things for the better.

You kept your options open for a while, not wanting to immediately rush into something like you did with Joel. If any of these guys you're seeing want to keep you to themselves, they'll have to put that extra effort. You're just tired of always chasing after them.

A whole month went by and you never heard from Joel again, which was completely fine by you. He doesn't even cross your mind at this point. He's probably spending all his hours at his workshop, keeping his nights free for his no-commitment dates. And probably getting ready for the holiday season too.

Christmas has always been your favorite holiday. There's something about it that cheers you up like no other festivity. Maybe it's the decor, the food, the fact that it's everywhere you look...it's always been a magical time.

You also love the parties and gatherings around this time of year, so you immediately agreed to be someone's date to one of them. You met this guy a few weeks ago– three years older than you, tall, dreamy eyes and great in bed. There was no reason as to why the two of you couldn't have a good time at this little party...or so you thought.

He casually mentions who's hosting on the way there. A friend from work, he said while offering you a hand to help you out of his car. His good ol' buddy Tommy Miller.

Your smile practically drops at the mention of that name, immediately going back to that date at the bowling alley. Joel bought a large portion of nachos to share after you completely beat his ass at bowling (he totally let you win, he said), remembering the way he talked about a brother named Tommy.

But...surely this is all a coincidence. The universe couldn't possibly hate you that much, right? At one point you almost thought you were crazy for even thinking of the possibility of this friend being the brother. There has to be a million Tommy Millers out there. It's such a common name!

What are the odds of this actually happening? That you're really going to Joel Miller's brother's Christmas party? And even if you are, that doesn't guarantee that you'll see Joel there.

And why should you care? You haven't spoken in so long, he probably doesn't even think about you when he hears something that could potentially relate to you. He doesn't think about the chances of reuniting with you for longer than a second. He surely doesn't think about you at all! You should give him the same treatment.

Holding onto your date's arm, you walked inside the impeccably decorated apartment. Red and white everywhere you look, with a large table filled with various snacks, a lit fireplace that gives the room a much cozier look, and a Christmas tree standing tall on one of the corners of the living room.

Tommy Miller was at the entrance greeting the two of you and enthusiastically introducing himself to you. Nerves were starting to overtake you because shit, there's definitely some resemblance.

Still, you tried to ignore your racing mind, wanting to have a good time with this great guy who's glad to keep you close to him, introducing you to all his friends in a manner someone should introduce their date. You feel important next to him, like he's really trying to show you off. Something Joel failed to do.

Eventually, you were able to relax when you got to meet everyone at the apartment and realized Joel wasn't there. With a beer in hand and a polite smile on your face, you joined a conversation by the fireplace, talking amicably and genuinely thinking the night was safe.

That is, until you heard the doorbell.

You watched Tommy walking towards the door, immediately opening his arms wide to receive whoever just arrived. When the stranger leans forward for the hug Tommy was offering, your smile completely fades when you notice it was none other than Joel.

He walks inside the apartment and leaves his jacket hanging by the door, taking a quick look around. You immediately turn around, not wanting him to recognize you– yes, it was stupid because he'll sooner or later notice your presence, but maybe you can avoid the awkward encounter for a few more seconds.

It takes everything in you not to turn around again, putting your hand on your date's back as you lean closer to him, trying to seek any kind of comfort you possibly could. He immediately wraps his arm around your waist, inevitably making you smile. God, this guy really knows how to treat you exactly the way you want it.

Unfortunately, Joel reaches the group of people you were talking to. He starts greeting everyone until his eyes land on you, standing there completely speechless for a few seconds before a smile appears on his face.

He leans forward for a quick kiss on the cheek as a way to greet you, and you barely move away from your date to return the greeting, moving back immediately to refugee on the guy's side.

"You two know each other?" your date asks. You almost wanted to kill him.

You stay quiet, deciding to leave Joel the responsibility to answer. It's genuinely intriguing to see what he has to say.

"Uh, yeah..." he starts, clearing his throat. "I think...you took a coffee table to my workshop for a repair?"

Wow. Glad to see things haven't changed in the slightest! Of course you two just met each other for a little repair. Of-fucking-course! It's not like he woke up completely naked next to you on your bed more times than you'd like to admit out loud.

"Yes. Exactly," you faked a smile, agreeing with his statement.

That was pretty much the only thing you said to each other. After greeting everyone he quickly joined a completely different group to talk to (because it's obvious he couldn't handle being close to you for much longer). You actually appreciated that, making the task of ignoring him until you left that apartment just that much easier.

Things went downhill when your date had to go to the bathroom and you decided to get another beer from the kitchen. You didn't notice Joel following you, and by the time you did realize, he was standing in front of the exit, blocking it entirely.

"Oh, hey, workshop guy!" you greeted with fake enthusiasm, sarcasm dripping from your words.

You hear Joel sigh, and as if that didn't piss you off enough he decided to open his mouth. "Yeah, I figured you'd get upset."

"Then why did you say it?"

He raised a brow. "What, you wanted me to tell everyone– your date included, that we were seeing each other like a month ago?"

The kitchen was completely silent after that. Perhaps he had a point there, but it was impossible to deny you were still hurt by the way things ended and how poorly he treated you, so that last thing you'd ever do is admit he's right.

"I thought perhaps now that it's done, you wouldn't care about keeping it a secret anymore," you shrugged defensively.

He smiles softly, seeing right through you. "Perhaps I've just never been the type to kiss and tell."

Again, you didn't have much to say, so you just scoffed. "Whatever."

Much to your irritation, he laughs. A low, deep chuckle escapes him before he's looking at you up and down. "You look good."

"I know."

Another chuckle. "Of course you do," he sighs, the smirk on his face fading. "You always look fucking incredible."

You stand there like a complete fool, taken by surprise when you hear him say that. It sounds so...defeated? Is that even a thing? As you try to come up with an answer to that, you just look back at him with a lost expression.

"Is there a point to this conversation?" you eventually ask.

Now it's him who's looking back at you in complete silence. Unfortunately, you know him enough to know there's something in his mind and he's not telling you anything about it. He's hesitating, doubting, the engines in his brain moving faster than ever.

For a moment, you thought he'd say whatever random bullshit he can come up with in that very moment and be done with it. And you'd roll your eyes because you know that's not what he wanted to say, right before moving him away from the door so you can go back to the party.

But in a surprising turn of events, he doesn't do that. He looks at you with nothing but honesty, and you even catch the smallest glimpses of hope when he speaks. "Yeah," he answers your question. "I've missed you like crazy."

If you were speechless before, it's almost impossible to even remember how words work right now. Never in a million years would you've expected Joel Miller to confess he misses you. Not when it was you who was always trying to arrange dates. Not when it was always you the one remaining him you really liked him and him barely saying anything back.

Maybe he just needed a wake up call? Had to live that 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' type of situation to realize how he feels?

Your heart beats faster as you process his words. He's missed you like crazy.

Still, despite feeling so fuzzy inside, you show none of it on the outside. "No," you promptly warn him. "No, no. We're not doing that."

"What?"

"That, Joel!" you exclaim, frustrated. "You can't break my heart and then say shit like that when we happen to meet by accident."

"Is it an accident?" he asks shortly after.

You chuckle sarcastically. "Oh, so is this some Christmas miracle? The festive season brought us together because of some nonsensical fate-thingy that's written up there in the stars?"

Joel looks slightly embarrassed, letting out another frustrated sigh. Before he can answer, you hear footsteps down the hall that leads to the kitchen so the two of you stay completely silent and turn around to see who it was.

"Hey...oh," Tommy says, his initial smile fading when he notices the tension between the two of you. He quickly raises both of his hands in the air as he walks towards the fridge to grab two beers. "Don't mind me, I just wanted to grab these," he quickly explains.

When he turns back around, he immediately focuses on his brother. At first he looked very confused, like silently trying to ask him what the hell is going on, a small smirk appearing on his face just seconds later. Without another word, he quickly makes his way outside the kitchen to give the two of you much needed privacy. You could feel your cheeks heating up after witnessing that little exchange.

Focusing back on you, Joel decides to continue the conversation. "Okay, if you put it like that of course it sounds silly..." he mutters, scratching the back of his neck. "But, I don't know, I’d like to think something out there wanted us to meet again so I could make it right."

"No," you repeat. "You had a chance to make it right as soon as I kicked you out of my apartment. There was a chance to pick up your phone and give me a call or send me a text or...anything, Joel– fucking anything!"

There's a brief pause, and you're so glad to see he has nothing to say because boy, oh boy did you have things to say.

"You don't get to come back a month later and claim to miss me when you didn't even try to get me back. And you were a real piece of shit with me, by the way. You really made me think we had something special, just to treat me like it was nothing," you continue, visibly upset by the incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation he's putting you in. "You made me feel...you made me feel like I was some stupid little girl you only wanted to get into bed with."

He looks absolutely horrified by your last statement, taking a few steps forward until he's standing right in front of you. The proximity makes it so much worse, forcing you to look down at your shoes. He gently grabs your chin to force you to look into his eyes, and for some reason you allow it. Maybe you were vulnerable, maybe you wanted to feel his touch. Maybe both.

"I promise you, that was not my intention at all," he immediately assures you in the most serious voice you've ever heard coming from him. "It was never just that. I was really falling for you."

You frowned, feeling so incredibly confused and frustrated. "Then why did you never show it?"

"Because I was dumb and I was scared," he reveals simply. It surprises you how honest he's being, how you don't have to ask more to get information out of him. "You were the first woman I started developing actual feelings for after my divorce, and at the time I thought things were moving too fast between us and...I didn't know how to handle it."

Joel can tell you're still not having none of it, so he decides to continue. "I really wanted to be with you officially, but I guess my insecurities got the best of me. I'm just an old man and you're gorgeous, and young, and...Jesus Christ, darling, you're the most amazing person I've ever met," he sighs again, hoping you'd understand what was going on in his head when he made the terrible decision of letting you go. "I didn't want to fuck it up or get my heart broken again...but I totally did fuck it up, and the worse thing is that I broke your heart in the process. I'll forever be sorry for that."

You were speechless yet again, and Joel didn't know how to take that. Are you going to say something nice or are you going to yell at him and tell him to go fuck himself? The uncertainty was eating him alive at this point.

Eventually, you speak up. "You did fuck it up," you agree. "Like, big time."

He sighs yet again, nodding. "Yes, I did. And I know I don't deserve it, but I'd like to have a second chance to prove to you just how much I care about you," he continues, not giving up this time. He couldn't live with himself if he managed to lose you twice. "To give you all that you deserve, to be there for you, to show the world how happy I am that you're my girl...I'd make it right."

Letting go of your chin, he moves his hand to the side of your face, anxiously waiting for an answer. The fact that you're not pushing him away is already a good sign, because he knows you're capable of throwing a beer bottle at him for saying what he just said.

You considered your options. There's a guy outside in the living room waiting for you. There's a bunch of other guys on your phone that'd run to your doorstep if you give them the chance. All of them have behaved better than Joel...but you can't fool yourself.

Even if you combine all of them, there's no way that everything you've shared with them can come close to what you experienced with Joel. You've never liked anyone so much before, and holy shit how badly you've missed him.

If he thought your proximity was a good sign, the soft smile that appears on your face makes him relax considerably, almost wanting to pull you in for a hug and start thanking you already.

"I guess you can take me out to dinner or something to prove you're sorry," you eventually reply, making him grin from ear to ear. You notice he's leaning even closer with the intention of kissing you, but you quickly stop him. "Don't even think about it. You'll have to earn the right to do that."

Joel silently agrees to that arrangement, immediately taking a step back from you, the smile on his face never disappearing. He doesn't care that you're not kissing him right now, not when you agreed to give him a chance. That's more than enough for him. The best Christmas gift he could've ever received.

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller angst #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel x reader #Spotify

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sulphuricgrin · 10 days ago

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Sujamma Sundas...on Middas

(I wasn't sure I was going to do this for a few reasons honestly. but fuck it. gotta get over some anxiety)

tagged by the wonderful @changelingsandothernonsense and lovely @lillxart

I'm late but I guess I'll tag anyways, no pressure tho: @hircines-hunter @sanza-17 @flycasual @bookworm-driven-insane @poor-ciceros-voring-again @thescrolls-haveforetold @gamevoidartblog @scholarlyhermit @aleielle-of-roshar @oblivions-dawn (if any of you done it already, sorry!)

Topic: This week, Sujamma wants to know about YOUR OC's special someone. What makes their relationship special? How did they meet? Were they enemies to lovers? Lovers to enemies? Lovers AND Enemies? Are they romantic or platonic? What's their favorite way to cuddle? Favorite date night? Anything and everything you can think of 💕

Elikar is aroace like me c: I have a potential idea of a QPR with Serana. But that's an underdeveloped idea right now.

So I guess I'll ramble a little about Lilliandra. Romance isn’t a thing that she thinks about in a partner necessarily, it's usually just what she can get out of the relationship. She’s also more the type to obsess if anything. (She's a villian protag, is it really a surprise her relationships are fucked?)

We've got Cinnara, Talserion, and Miraak. I'll be short with the first two. I don't wanna spoil everything.

Cinnara

She’s the first love, the first Lilli latched onto and refused to let go. (Until she had no choice but to let go)

They've known each other since they were little girls. She enjoys the attention, the love from her. There’s something so addicting, seeing the change in her smile as she looks from a person to Lilli, the way it lights up differently. (Yet this doesn’t stop Lilli's eyes from roaming elsewhere.)

Around Cinnara, Lilli hides the worst parts of her. Around her, she can act with (and feel) some semblance of normalcy. She doesn’t know any of the terrible things Lilli does and thinks, and she doesn’t need to.

With her, there’s comfort, nostalgia. To her, she’s the last remnant of childhood, of innocence. When she has to let her go, she lets all that go.

Talserion

She actually does get an arranged engagement per Altmeri traditions. To her luck, it’s at least someone she knows. Talserion was a part of the group of artisans Cinnara and she frequently hung around with.

He loved her even before the arrangement, when she was still with Cinnara. She knew that much, he didn’t hide it well. Cinnara was actually the first to point it out. She told him to expect a loveless marriage. But she still enjoys the attention she gets from him. She also doesn't mind the (casual to her) sex. He was merely a plaything.

Except, it was her turn to be on the end of one’s obsession. T̷h̶a̶t̶ ̸d̴i̷d̴n̸'̵t̸ ̸e̷n̴d̴ ̸w̵e̸l̸l̴

Miraak

Where do I begin?

I guess I should mention that while my fic is tagged “destiny-bound lovers”, it’s more the horror aspect of that entire idea of soulmates, where all agency is taken from you, forever wondering why you gravitate towards this person (that’s why it’s not tagged as soulmates, cause that generally has positive connotations). In their Disastership post I answer “why they’re together despite it all?” with “There is no free will with destiny.”

I liken them to a binary star system, souls gravitationally bound to and in orbit around each other. (What a poetic way to say they’re stuck with each other lol)

Unlike most LDB x Miraak pairs, they met about 80 years before the start of Skyrim, when Lilliandra got her hands on a Black Book and started to frequent Apocrypha, before becoming one of Mora’s new champions. Neither of them knew she was dragonborn. (Considering Durnehviir doesn’t exactly know why he calls you dovah in game if you haven’t completed Dragon Rising, I like to imagine Miraak wouldn’t be able to know she’s Dragonborn until she absorbs a dragon soul.)

Miraak’s first thought of her was as a stupid, pretty little socialite that wouldn’t survive Apocrypha for long.

She certainly defied his expectations.

She was warned by ciphers to stay away from the First Servant given his history of blackmailing them into doing dangerous things. That gave the opposite effect, instead making her interested. (Poor ciphers didn’t realise they were in worse trouble with her.)

In a short few years, they create a tentative alliance. At the beginning it was slightly difficult, where both of them thought they knew better than the other. “You’re too quick to act. Too reckless.” “You’re too stiff in the way you do things! Think outside the box, you old bastard.” But after they get to see how surprisingly well they fight together during their first dive into the Infinite Archive, how their strengths and weaknesses overlap in a way that compliments them, they gain a bit of respect with the other. (Lilli gains an obsession over him being dragonborn because she's been researching for years the more auditory magic: thaumavocalism and tonal architecture, and the thu'um falls into the category.)

Mutual respect gives way to an odd friendship. They manage to inspire the other. Miraak finds it frighteningly odd, to be able to trust her of all people after millennia in Apocrypha. Lilli tries not to think about why, but she enjoys how easy it is to simply be her real self with him. Where Cinnara knew only a projected image of Lilli, Miraak has seen her depravity.

But make no mistake, these two idiots have no issues bullying each other. Lilliandra enjoys testing boundaries, excessively. Sometimes for shits and giggles, other times just cause she's a sadomasochist and wants to see what it takes for him to retaliate. Miraak invites himself into her study whenever he wants to see if she has any tangible ideas.

Despite all this, they're somewhat protective of the other. (don't ask them why. They'll deny it) Lilli will not tolerate anyone speaking ill of Miraak - she's quick to vicious anger, making the party that spoke ill to greatly regret it. Miraak feels petty jealousy if Lilli speaks of her partners on Nirn.

Later in the story, an experiment Lilli was working on badly explodes, leaving her partially deaf in her left ear and a blind spot in her left eye. Despite berating her the entire time, he's the one that heals her, staying with her as she recovers from the shock. Neither of them talk about how he naturally walks on her left side afterwards, or how Lilli tries to keep everyone else on her right side.

Hmm, cuddles? It started as Lilli just trying to annoy him by testing boundaries. If he was in the common area of the tower, sitting on the couch reading, she'd flop herself onto the couch, with her head in his lap. For the first several times she's done this, he'd push her off the couch entirely, enjoying the thud she'd make when falling to the floor. Then one day he just gave in (no, don't you dare suggest it's because he's starved for her touch). She fell asleep like that, showing a surprising amount of vulnerability and trust. It somehow became a habit that neither of them talked about. (shush, maybe he did enjoy running his fingers through her hair.)

#sujamma sundas #but on a middas cause my brain simply wouldn't work #otp: dragonsong #OC: lilliandra #miraak #OC: cinnara #OC: talserion #I hope this shit makes sense cause my brain is mush #trying to explain relationships is harder than like. just writing the story and their interactions?#tesblr #tes #tes skyrim

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majorbuckyegan · 5 months ago

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I was tagged by @nicijones tysm 🫶 (I know its Thursday oops lmao)

Rule: share a snippet of your current WIP (or one of them) and tag other writers to spread the love.

Posting a snippet from their last fight, because I'm not loving the part I'm writing rn (gotta write the bad thing and then rewrite it!)

“John, what exactly is your problem?” He asked, when John still hadn't said anything.

“You! You're my fucking problem.” John snapped, letting out another angry bark of laughter, “You're doing that thing that you always do when I say I'm fine, and then you go and smother me anyway. I told you I don't need your help, so just fuck off and leave me alone for once in your life.”

“You know what? Fine.” He snapped, standing up so that he could take the porcelain shards that he'd already gathered and throw them into the bin. Ordinarily, the sound of breaking glass would have upset him even further, but he was angry too now, and so he couldn't have cared less about that, “You want me to leave you alone? I'll leave you alone, but don't come crying to me when you can't patch yourself up properly. Go bleed all over the bedroom for all I care.”

“You know what, Buck? Go fuck yourself.” John huffed, tossing the shards of the broken plate that he was still holding into the sink, “Jesus Christ, I feel like I can't breathe around you sometimes without you pulling the whole Saint Cleven act.”

He shut his mouth with a click, refusing to let himself say something that he'd only regret afterwards. He doesn't mean it, he's just having a bad day. Telling himself that didn't exactly help the situation, though, and so he really wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or do.

“You can't fix everything, Buck.” John continued, obviously refusing to be put off by his silence, “I don't give a fuck if you think I'm some broken little pet project for you to fix, ‘cause you feel guilty for leaving me.”

“Is that what you think?” He asked, refusing to acknowledge the prickling of tears in his eyes, “Fine, if you're really that sick of me, then just say the word and I'll be gone. You won't have to put up with Saint Cleven anymore, if it bothers you that much.”

the girls are fightinggggg 👀 bucky will feel bad and apologise though, I promise

Tagging: @buckbiddick @alienoresimagines @moghraidhs @hogans-heroes

@swifty-fox @ackackh @c-goldthorn

@joeyalohadream @spaceshipkat @whirlpool-blogs @amiserableseriesofevents

#tagged in #clegan #blue skies

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werewolfsmile · 5 months ago

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Fam, your Were-wolf Eliot head canon post came up in my queue for reblog and I re-read it and gotta ask,

Does Lieutenant Bonanno know? And if so how did he react?

Tara was with them long enough to find out, how did she react to "Sparky"?

(Also I am majorly inspired by the image of Quinn just showing up when he's in town for a wolfy play date (and yes both Eliot and Quinn have threatened Hardison not to call it that, Parker gets a pass calling it that cause she's Parker and she'll call it that anyway threat or no threat) and I was wondering if you'd be okay with me trying to write that scene and tagging you when it's done?)

-- @scotchiegirl

Ahh thanks so much for asking!! You've made my brain start thinking about this fic and headcanons all over again!!

Bonanno finds out during the events of The Boys' Night Out Job. After all the other crazy stuff he has to deal with from Nate Ford & Friends, he just throws his hands up and says, 'of course you are. of course werewolves are real. i should'a known.' and goes about his life. But every time they play cards, he squints at Eliot and warns him against using his enhanced abilities to win.

"No funny wolf business, y'hear? We try to keep it a clean game." Eliot just blinks at him. "I don't have x-ray vision, dammit!"

Tara figured it out before the rest of the team did but she never said anything about it, knowing that he was keeping something like that secret for a reason. But when Sophie calls up to rant about something Eliot's done (after the team's found out), Tara just laughs and says something along the lines of "classic Sparky". Sophie is like, wait, you know??? And Tara's like, oh you know now too?? Finally!!! And then they gossip about Eliot and werewolves and all the weird stuff they've encountered on grifts. Because, really, finding out Eliot Spencer is a werewolf is one of the least-weird things to happen in Tara's life.

WOLFY PLAY DATE OH MY GOSH YES THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! Ahhh you may absolutely write the scene, I would be honoured! Though fair warning that I have plans to include it in my fic of this whole AU, The Full Moon Job. And if I read your version of it before I write my own, I may be influenced by what you write. So as long as that doesn't bother you, have at it!

(shameless link of my fic included for anyone who might be interested)

#leverage #werewolf!eliot spencer #leverage fantasy au #eliot spencer #patrick bonanno #tara cole #quinn leverage #mr quinn #quinn #sophie devereaux #nate ford #alec hardison #parker #asks #my posts #i wish my current energy levels would allow me to work more on this fic #rest assured i haven't abandoned it #it's just percolating

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mysticstarlightduck · 2 months ago

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Six Song Soundtrack Game!

Thank you so much for the tag, @thelovelymachinery (here)! Also...OMG THIS IS EXACTLY MY TYPE OF TAG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TW. One of the songs in this soundtrack includes allusions to self harm (not to graphic), proceed with caution.

Let's go with: Noah Mallory, Fabian Styrling, Arden Ellis and Randall Sloanne from Crash Stardom!

Noah Mallory

Full Playlist Here

Event that defines your character's past: Death of a Hero - Alec Benjamin

I was in Pittsburgh when I saw Superman in the backroom He was doing lines or something in the bathroom I barely recognized him at all I saw him doing things you shouldn't do with all that power I wish someone would have thrown him in the shower I barely recognized him at all That night I put my youth in a casket And buried it inside of me That night I saw through all the magic Now I'm a witness to the death of a hero I burned all the pictures in the attic And threw away the magazines That night I saw through all the magic And now I'm a witness to the death of a hero I tried to look away but you can't look away from a trainwreck

How your character sees themselves: I'm Not Famous - AJR

Where my haters, where my haters? I don't got 'em, I'm not famous, no It don't matter what my name is I don't got one, I'm not famous, no And I don't hate it, no You've never heard of me Or the weird shit I do and say That's my favorite thing That I'm not famous, no And I'm never on TV Throwing up on an LA street Nobody judges me 'Cause I'm not famous, no Paparazzi is at an all time lowPaparazzi, they don't care where I go

How others view them: People I Don't Like - UPSAHL

Hello, it's so good to see you We met before but nice to meet you Yeah, I don't really wanna be here like, ah-ah-ah-ah What's my name? Do you remember? I'm pretty sure you have my number So let's pretend we like each other like, ah-ah-ah-ah This room is so suffocating Walking on ice, but nobody breaks it Stuck in this one-way conversation Guess I'll be here for a while And you're blowing smoke in my face And telling me all about your paycheck Take a shot with a fake smile to chase it Guess I'll take another round Everybody in this party's fucking fake I really wish that I could say it to your face But I won't, so Hello, it's so good to see you

Their closest relationship: Soldier - Gavin DeGraw

I'll get it if you need it, I'll search if you don't see it, You're thirsty, I'll be rain, You get hurt, I'll take your pain. I know you don't believe it, But I said it and I still mean it, When you heard what I told you, When you get worried I'll be your soldier. Funny when times get hard, At the last moment when you're supposed to charge, Always on the longest yard, Oh, they feel their feet getting cold. Hiding here, hiding there, Find them underneath the stairs, People hiding everywhere, Trying to be still like a stone.

A major fight scene: You've Created a Monster - Bohnes

Breathe in, now the prey becomes the hunter Screamin', raise the dead and bring the thunder You've created a monster I just keep getting stronger Nightmare, I'm gonna haunt you You've created a monster I just keep getting stronger Nightmare, I'm gonna haunt you You've created a monster You've created a monster You've created a monster Fighting pushed me to the point of breaking Biting, clawing for the crown I'm taking [...] Look what you've done Look what you've done Look what you've done

End Credit Scene: Ordinary Life - Simple Plan

It's just another Monday I'm just another face in a faceless crowd I'm going down one-way Caught up in the machine And I'm spit right out I'm living in a rat race I'm looking for my soul in the lost-and-found I'm sitting in the same spot Counting every tick-tock Gotta hit the punch clock When's it gonna stop-stop? Another day in black and white One, two, three, four, five Another week goes by I'm half alive I'm getting sick of faking this I'm over it Don't wanna wear no suit and tie Gotta live before I die So I'm done, done, done With this ordinary life What happened to the someday? What happened to the dreams of the wide-eyed kid? Don't tell me that it's too late Don't tell me that I can't cause you never did

Fabian Styrling

Full Playlist Here

Event that defines your character's past: Fallen Angel - Three Days Grace

Late at night I could hear the crying I hear it all, trying to fall asleep When all the love around you is dying How do you stay so strong? How did you hide it all for so long? How can I take the pain away? How can I save A fallen angel, in the dark Never thought you'd fall so far Fallen angel, close your eyes I won't let you fall tonight Fallen angel You do it all for my own protection You make me feel like I'll be okay Still I have so many questions [...] I was right beside you When you went to hell and back again I was right beside you When you went to hell and back again And I, I couldn't save, a fallen angel

How your character sees themselves: Numb - 8 Graves

All I want is to feel a bit We could fall in love, you could slit my wrist I could tell you now that they both 'gonn feel the same I've been wide awake, I've been blacking out I've been locked away, could you let me out? 'Cause I've grown so tired of existing in this cage I remember when I used to feel (it was beautiful) But I guess that's something you can steal (and I lost it all) Now nothing seems to feel too real (unbelievable) What have I been running from? How did I become so numb? I'm so numb I give up What have I been running from? How did I become so numb? All I want is a night of sleep You could knock me out, I could rest in peace I don't mind if I get to close my eyes I've been day to day, I've been dying slow If you find a way, could you let me know? My confusion no longer comes as a surprise

How others view them: La Da Dee - Cody Simpson

There's no way to say this song's about someone else Every time you're not in my arms I start to lose myself Someone please pass me my shades Don't let 'em see me down You have taken over my days So tonight I'm going out Yet I'm feeling like There is no better place than right by your side I had a little taste And I'll only spoil the party anyway 'Cause all the girls are looking fine But you're the only one on my mind La da dee La da dee doo La da dee me La da dee you La da dee La da dee doo There's only me There's only you

Their closest relationship: What Have They Done To Us? - Mako, Grey

As you wake up in a cold sweat *Little girl, what goes on in your head? All this hatred in your heart, yet I mourn the most for all the things that I never said Don't make me go through this again You're not real and I can't pretend This story is over, I ripped out the end Tell me, who are you, then? What have they done to us?

PS. *Except in Fabian's case it would be 'Big brother, what goes on in your head?' addresed to Arden, his biological cousin who raised Fabian and was like an adoptive older brother to him.

A major fight scene: Russian Roulette - Tungevaag

Looked up across the smoke filled room Felt the tension build This night has only just begun So here we go You gotta, just feel the energy You gotta, just know who the enemy is We are hungry for adrenaline We're about to go insane, you'll see Bring out the guns, we love the danger One, two, three, just pull the trigger One bullet left inside the chamber Let us play some Russian Roulette Roulette

End credit scene: Runnin' - Adam Lambert

Steel to my trembling lips How did the night ever get like this? One shot and the whiskey goes down, down, down Bottom of the bottle hits Waking up my mind as I throw a fit The breakin' is takin' me down, down, down My heart's beating faster I know what I'm after I've been standing here my whole life Everything I've seen twice Now it's time I realized It's spinning back around now On this road I'm crawlin' Save me cause I'm fallin' Now I can't seem to breathe right 'Cause I keep runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin' Runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin' Runnin' from my heart 'Round and around I go Addicted to the numb livin' in the cold The higher, the lower, the down, down, down Sick of being tired and sick Of waiting for another kind of fix The damage is damning me down, down, down My heart's beating faster I know what I'm after

Arden Ellis

Full Playlists: 1 and 2

Event that defines your character's past: Tag You're It - Melanie Martinez

Looking at me through your window Boy, you had your eye out for a little "I'll cut you up and make you dinner You've reached the end, you are the winner" Rolling down your tinted window Driving next to me real slow, he said "Let me take you for a joyride I've got some candy for you inside" Running through the parking lot He chased me and he wouldn't stop Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Grabbed my hand, pushed me down Took the words right out my mouth Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Can anybody hear me when I'm hidden underground? Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself? Saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it" He's saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it" Little bit of poison in me I can taste your skin in my teeth "I love it when I hear you breathing I hope to God you're never leaving"

How your character sees themselves: Everybody Hates You - Citizen Soldier

Everybody hates you Breathe in, breathe out My middle name is nervous breakdown I sure could use a friend Cheaper than Vicodin Fake lives, fake love Got money but I still feel bankrupt It's so hard to fit in When there's no oxygen What the hell is wrong with me? Overthinking reality Calm down, it'll be okay But the voices in my head say La-la loser, you've got no friends Nobody gives a damn 'Cause everybody hates you, everybody hates you La-la loser, please just go home 'Cause you're gonna die alone 'Cause everybody hates you, everybody hates you Everybody hates you, everybody hates you Last call, wasted My mental state is complicated I'd drive right off a cliff If I thought I'd be missed Dark jokes, jaded Sarcasm that is calculated The hate don't resonate If I self-deprecate

How others view them: (As Arden Ellis) For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert

So hot, out the box Can we pick up the pace? Turn it up, heat it up I need to be entertained Push the limit, are you with it? Baby, don't be afraid I'ma hurt ya real good, baby Let's go, it's my show Baby, do what I say Don't trip off the glitz That I'm gonna display I told ya I'ma hold ya down until you're amazed Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name No escaping when I start Once I'm in, I own your heart There's no way you'll ring the alarm So hold on until it's over Oh, do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do? 'Cause it's about to get rough for you I'm here for your entertainment Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet You thought an angel swept you off your feet Well, I'm about to turn up the heat I'm here for your entertainment It's alright, you'll be fine Baby, I'm in control Take the pain, take the pleasure I'm the master of both Close your eyes, not your mind Let me into your soul I'ma work ya 'til your totally blown

(As The Shutterman) Nowhere to Run - Stegossaurus Rex

You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you Feeling all blue, I've got no more time They all hate me because of my crime Their threats come at me, their voices are loud All to condemn me, my face is still proud You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You were my good friend, I saved you before I thought you turned good now, but you asked for some more You had to provoke me, so I beat you Watched your skull bleed, so now I feel blue You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you

Their closest relationship: If I killed someone for you - Alec Benjamin

I'm sorry that I did this The blood is on my hands I stare at my reflection I don't know who I am Practice my confession In case I take the stand I'll say I learned my lesson I'll be a better man I'm packing up my things And I'm wiping down the walls I'm rinsing off my clothes And I'm walking through the halls **I did it all for her So I felt nothing at all I don't know what she'll say So I'll ask her when she calls Would you love me more (Would you love me more) If I killed someone for you? Would you hold my hand? (Would you hold my hand?) They're the same ones that I used When I killed someone for you Would you turn me in (Would you turn me in) When they say I'm on the loose? Would you hide me when (Would you hide me when) My face is on the news? 'Cause I killed someone for you I hear the sirens coming I see the flashing lights I'm driving through the suburbs Wearing my disguise

PS. **In their case this paragraph would be

I did it all for him So I felt nothing at all I don't know what he'll say So I'll ask him when he calls

Because Arden started killing the mob to protect Fabian and themself.

A major fight scene: You Can't Hide - FNAF

I hear a sound (It's prolly just a mouse) I see them in the dark (I only saw a spark) I know there's someone there (Not as far as I'm aware) Why don't you believe me? Maybe you're right (It's just another night) But I heard a creak (Just go back to sleep) I'm always quick to rage (So go back to your stage) (Wait, now I hear it) RUN What's that sound? I know someone's there Hiding in the shadows Thinking I was unaware Who's that I see? The birthday boy to be Let's invite him over Hurry up before he's bolder Oh Bon-Bon Let's make this fun You can't deter me this time No I'm done I won't go back to my stage It's my new trend Well, let's go say hi to the new friend I knew I was right to think I would find you over here Well isn't it intriguing that You seem to be just a little bit weary Of Bon-Bon and me Well there's no need We know you want to deactivate us But we just can't let that happen Every night always, it never changes But we can make accidents happen We can make accidents happen

End credit scene: The Joker - Lady Gaga

There's always a joker in the pack There's always a lonely clown The poor laughing fool falls on his back And everyone laughs when he's down There's always a funny man in the game But he's only funny by mistake And everyone laughs at him just the same They don't see his lonely heart break They don't care as long as there is a jester Just a fool, as foolish as he can be There's always a joker, that's the rule But fate deals the hand that I see The joker is me, the joker is me! The joker is me, the joker is me! The joker is me Drink the poison 'cause there's always a loser in the game The court loves to watch them cry The royal shouts, this Queen needs to sing To ruffle the scene of the crime

Randall Sloanne

Event that defines your character's past: The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid

Hold still, my sweet I'm trying to measure the space between Your molar and your jaw This caliper No cause for fear, no, it, it doesn't hurt It only helps me measure How much skin you have Oh, and the topmost layer of fat But I won't make an incision 'Til you're nice and numb Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun Please don't doubt my decision This'll be, ooh, this'll be, aah This'll be absolutely, whee This'll be nice, this'll be neat And bring you closer to me So, don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me Refreshing for me, yeah

How your character sees themselves: Gladiator - Zayde Wolf

Let me back it up to the start of the climb Faced with an army of vipers and lions I had to keep on reaching up, 'cause it was my time To tear down the kingdom, call out the liars Got a jail on my heart from the pessimists Got those nails in my mouth for impressionists Spent too much money on a therapist Couldn't fix me, I accepted it Gladiator, gladiator, gladiator Picked a fight with the gods, I'm the giant slayer Bone shaker, dominator Freight train, wrecking ball, I'm the gladiator La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Tell me what it is that you think you believe Caught in a cross fire, trouble at sea Every single day I feel that gold underneath I see the locked doors, but I got the key I'ma give you a second just to catch your breath 'Cause I can see that your heart is jumping out your chest I know you gave it all, 'cause I've already seen your best It is time you accepted this

How others view them: Monster - Willyecho

Ah, you're a monster I can see the truth No, you don't have to lie to me Don't fill your head with things and think you're free I can smell the fear I think you made clear, yeah I can be rude, be in a mood, I can be rotten I can be cruel, might act a fool, but never forgotten Creeping in the dark waiting for you You won't like what you see Yeah, I feel like a monster And I'm just here to haunt ya I become your nightmare steppin' in your dreams I'm the definition of the worst kind of mean Yeah, I feel like a monster And I'm just here to haunt ya I become your nightmare steppin' in your dreams I'm the definition of the worst kind of mean Yeah, I feel like a Monster! Monster! Monster! Yeah, I feel like a- You can't hold me back Yeah, I'm coming for ya I'm a heater on ya, no I'm just telling you the facts Oh, these chains can't keep me down, yeah

Their closest relationship: Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile Tears run down my face I can't replace And now that I'm strong I have figured out How this world turns cold And it breaks through my soul and I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven It's okay It's okay It's okay Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and Stars are falling all for us Days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven

A major fight scene: Killer In The Mirror - Set It Off

Look out, they're closing in on you now Wake up, or you'll wake up six feet down Nobody's got your back in this town Knock 'em in the teeth now Out here, there's no negotiation No room to start a conversation Before you get a taste, it's taken Never let you guard down Get back, put your hands up, kinda messed up, but it's tough luck And I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for you 'Cause I know if you could switch this You'd be dishing out the same shit Saying sorry, but I don't feel bad Now I know there's no one I can trust I used to think there was Tell me that I'm cutthroat I think you got your eyes closed Feel the fear and swallow back the tears Let weakness disappear There's nobody but me here The killer in the mirror Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror Killer in the, killer in the, killer in the mirror Where did all of the good people go? They hide behind the bars on windows In hopes they can forget we're close Trying to get some of what they've got 'Cause I used to believe in justice A place where there was better judgment But now I'm feeling so disgusted By the "have its" and the "have nots

End credit scene: Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea - Missio

The berth surrounding my body, crushing every bit of bone The salt, it seeps in through the pores of my open skin I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue sea I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue Welcome to my cage, little lover Attempt to rearrange with you, baby Still don't know your name, miss honey Let's go up in flames, pretty lady The sweet surrender of silence forces me to live alone Locked and loaded, where the hell is peace of mind? I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue sea I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue Welcome to my cage, little lover Attempt to rearrange with you, baby Still don't know your name, miss honey Let's go up in flames, pretty lady Welcome to my cage, little lover Attempt to rearrange with you, baby Still don't know your name, miss honey Let's go up in flames, pretty lady The bottom of the deep blue sea

My taglist: @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@littleperilstories @thelovelymachinery

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @finickyfelix

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid,

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3,

@memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

#wip crash stardom!#wip crash stardom #oc: noah mallory #oc: fabian styrling #oc: arden ellis #oc: randall sloanne #tw. mentions of self harm #six song soundtrack game #writeblr #writers #writers on tumblr #writerblr #my wips #character writing #my characters #my writing #writing

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empires-boundaries · 1 year ago

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Pearl: Thank you very much. "How do you feel about people shipping your character, not you as a person. You're your own person and don't need others being weird about your ships." I mean, when it comes to me and just myself as a- Sorry, I can't build while I'm doing this question. When it comes to me and shipping and also my character, I kind of embody myself in my character. So whenever someone does kind of headcanony-type stuff with my creator character, it kind of feels like they're headcanoning me in some way when it comes to shipping and things like that. I tend to don't mind as much nowadays. Like, before I used to kind of mind a little bit more because I did kind of put myself in my character a bit more back then than I do now, but- Sorry this answer is probably an absolute mess, but I don't think I mind as much these days.

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Pearl: Before I used to kind of mind a little bit more because I did kinda put myself in my character a bit more back then than I do now. But- so in a sense this is probably an absolute mess, but I don't think I mind as much these days. I'm not exactly comfortable with shipping, but at that point, I just don't really look at that stuff, you know. It's like kind of like people do what they want to do, just no not-safe-for-work content by any means. Just don't main-tag any of it, cause things like Twitter and Tumblr and all that kind of stuff, I do look at the main tags, but I don't look at anything else. So, if you do want to ship, don't main-tag it and nothing not-safe-for-work cause that's really uncomfortable. Otherwise, I don't really care too much about it. I'm not going to like-

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Pearl: I'm not gonna like block people's- I don't know how to word it really. I can't word today. This is one of the worst days for me being able to word things. But, at the end of the day, neh, if it's separated from me individually as a person in real life, you do what you want, it's all right. Just no not-safe-for-work. And don't main-tag. There you go. That's a much clearer, defined answer. As long as it's not me in real life and it's just a character that's fictional and isn't inappropriate and isn't main-tagged, all good, it's fine. "It's gotta be such an odd thing to have to process as a creator." Yeah, it's something you kinda gotta figure out how to navigate around.

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Pearl: I'm kinda iffy about it to begin with is because people would ship me like on my streams and in my videos and in my comments. And I think Gem's talked about this before cause I think people have asked Gem the same question, and she's kind of the same as me – is that in the past it was a very common thing that we would record a video with a male friend or just a male colleague in general and then any time we did that we would get shipped in our Youtube comments and in our streams. It would be said every time, like, "Oh, I totally ship these two together" as something we could read directly to us. And that's the part that I didn't like. It's like, I didn't want to see that. Specifically as well, when people are in relationships, it just gets really awkward. So, you know, don't do it in the main spaces and it just kinda- People were seriously saying, "Oh, you two should be a couple" whenever we recorded.

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Pearl: So that's why I was a little more uncomfy with it back in the past because it was just such a common thing. And I just didn't like it. I was like nah, I didn't want to see any of that. So, didn't enjoy it at all. And of course I'm with Karn nowadays. Like if you want to ship me with anyone, ship me with Karn because Karn and I are actually dating. Like, that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. But anyone else is just- It gets real uncomfortable.

#empires smp #empiresblr #esmp #pearlescentmoon #season 1 #season 2 #long post

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elvenbeard · 1 year ago

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OC INTERVIEW: Vincent "V" Ezaki

Tagged by: @pinkyjulien @chevvy-yates @wraithsoutlaws and @v-eats-bugs thank you so much!!! <3

I'm gonna steal the idea some of you had and let him answer in character, but I'm gonna put some more context (and/or the truth xD) after Vince's reply where I see fit!

Tagging everyone who sees this and hasn't been tagged yet :3c I think most of you have done this at this point, but do please tag me if you do, I wanna read about your blorbos!!

■ NICKNAME ■ "Just 'V'."

100% going with the "only people that know me really well can use my real name" canon, because I love that scene and moment so much (and the lil nod to it again in the Tower Ending with Johnny ;_;). In my hc, Jackie gave him the nickname "V" on the day they met. Up until then he had always insisted on the full "Vincent" with everyone, and Jackie was the one to urge him to be careful with whom he shares his full identity. Meanwhile it's the other way around and "Vincent" is reserved for friends only... and "Vince" exclusively for Kerry really xD

■ GENDER ■ "Could say I'm a self-made man." ;)

This highly depends on who is asking the question here, if it's a very casual setting he'd say the above, if it's something to go into a screamsheet or whatnot he'd be more like "well, take a wild fuckin' guess" or just "male". He doesn't hide the fact he's trans, and he's proud of his journey and identity, but it's still not something he'd want to publically discuss with strangers without anything to gain from it.

■ STAR SIGN ■ "Gemini I think, but I gotta say, astrology isn't exactly something I have deep knowledge or opinions about."

He celebrates his birthday June 10th, but his real birthday in in September, so he's actually a Libra xD

■ HEIGHT ■ "5'6."

■ ORIENTATION ■ "Sorry ladies." ;)

Again, highly contextual on who is asking, and depending on that his answer might be more evasive or he'd just decline to answer. The less details about his private life are in the public's eye the better. But if the context is a fun night out with friends and he feels safe, he'd definitely give a more cheeky response and, to not get anyone's hopes up, just straightforward let them know he's gay.

■ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY■ "Born and raised in Night City and a proud citizen ever since."

He doesn't talk about his family because he's cut ties with them long ago. His mother, Marcella, was also from Night City, your average NUS citizen with mixed European heritage. His father, Kousuke, was Japanese. He and Vince's mother met through work for a certain corporation that wasn't necessarily welcome in NC at the time (but I bet my ass still very much present in one way or another).

■ FAVE FRUIT ■ "When I was a kid, I once had daifuku with real, straight-from-the-ground strawberries. Somewhere way out there on the Japanese countryside, couldn't tell you where exactly anymore. Still got no idea where they even got the strawberries from, but no RealFruit ever matched those."

■ FAVE SEASON ■ "Don't think I have a real preference here, 'specially cause Night City's warm all year round. I like it that way. Could do with less sandstorms though. I like it when it rains now and then, the steam on the asphalt, everything is just... quieter, in a way."

■ FAVE FLOWER ■ "One made from plastic."

Vince doesn't have a green thumb and no mind to care for plants either. He's far from an outdoorsy, nature-loving person XD Do not gift him flowers, he will not know what to do with them. That being said though: he has two big stylized lotus flowers tattooed. The first one he got shortly before he left his home, when he began his transition. The second after his top surgery, when he already worked for Arasaka, as a reminder to stay true to himself on the inside, especially whenever he couldn't outwardly. He just likes the lotus aesthetically, the shapes and symmetry, and that it symbolizes rebirth and transformation.

■ FAVE SCENT ■ "Clean bedsheets and freshly brewed green tea."

And the odd mix of Kerry's overpriced bodywash and favourite cigarettes XD

■ COFFEE, TEA, HOT CHOCOLATE ■ "Yes, in that order please. Coffee with milk and sugar, tea is fine just plain, green or black."

He's definitely more of a coffee than a tea drinker, and whatever it is, it's gotta be a little fancy xD Vince is the kind of person with a long-ass signature order at the coffee shop, and I 100% see him loving bubble tea in any combination and variation in existence. The only time he drinks his coffee black is when he accidentally orders "the same as him" in a moment of distraction at Caliente's with Kerry. But tea he occasionally likes just plain, but then it has to be high quality organic real tea leaves. Hot chocolate is a nice special treat, too.

■ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP ■ "Even in my line of work a regular sleep schedule is possible - and necessary, to stay sharp. I try to get my 7 hours of sleep in."

The somewhat regular sleep schedule is really something he values and tries to stick to, although the Relic and Johnny's presence really mess it up for a long while. But especially because his lack of sleep while working at Arasaka contributed to him developing a drug addiction to cope with the stress and sleep-deprivation it's something he doesn't want to fall back into.

■ DOG OR CAT PERSON ■ "Defintiely cats."

■ DREAM TRIP ■ "I'd like to return to Japan one day for a short vacation - see if I can find that daifuku shop again, haha. Would also love to visit Europe more extensively than what I've seen of it so far. And, who knows, maybe the Crystal Palace one day."

And the Phillipines with Kerry <3

■ FAVE FICTIONAL CHARACTER ■ "Ooohhh, that's a hard question, let me think for a moment... [insert long analysis of different movie and video game characters and why they're good or bad and why he likes them or not]"

Evading this a little bit because I don't wanna dive into a rabbit hole of seeing what canonical fictional characters there are and why Vince might like them or not xD He is a big nerd and a gamer and knows so much more than I do XD Also, he'd 100% be the kind of person who's rooting for the evil guys, because often their motivations and goals are much more complex and interesting than the "hero's" in his eyes xD and he's fascinated by the concept that they're doomed to lose by the narrative usually (because the good guys usually win), but still fight tooth and nail to achieve their goals and safe their own skin. He can relate to that a lot more than the selfless goodie-two-shoes who just want to save the world and make it a better place.

■ NUMBER OF BLANKETS THEY SLEEP WITH ■ "In this weather one is more than enough. Sometimes none is better."

■ RANDOM FACT ■ "It takes around 7 seconds for someone to form a solid first impression of you in a face-to-face conversation. It takes my Kiroshis' scanners half as long to additionally supply me with all the data on you I need to permanently ruin your life for good."

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk v #male v cyberpunk #vincent ezaki #tag games #oc interview

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petertingle-yipyip · 1 year ago

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WORLD CLASS SINNER - FRANK CASTLE

epilogue : i know it won’t work

tags: n/a // one // finale // masterlist // season two //

Pairing: frank x livia

Word Count: 582

Summary: After a couple weeks, Livia decides to open Frank’s letter.

You were seated back on your rooftop. You had stayed out there the night prior, while the moon was at her peak. You had taken up the routine of talking to the moon in the late hours of the night, hoping Matt was on the other side and he was talking back despite knowing he wasn’t.

Dex had left for work after having stayed the night. You had physical therapy later that day, one of four sessions every week. You were also required to do traditional therapy to ensure there was no lingering trauma, but you were able to use Curtis’ support group for that requirement.

Karen tried calling ever since you were discharged but you hardly answered. Usually it was just a run in with her every few days when she felt the urge to come check for Matt’s suit. You grew more and more irritated with her intrusions since you knew he wasn’t coming back. Yet she still came, still pried that wound open again.

You felt suffocated, like all of your pain - both physical and emotional - were massive waves that crashed into you and knocked you down everytime you thought you could stand.

There was no relief, no healing. You were broken. You were tempted to even slide off your rooftop and let Matt’s God decide for you. But you didn’t. You didn’t because… Well you didn’t quite know why, but something about death didn’t seem so appealing anymore.

Instead, you opened Frank’s letter.

“hey princess.

when i left this with you i hoped you wouldn’t need to open it but here you are. if you are reading this then that means youve hit your limit. im sorry im not there with you right now but its for the best. thats what they said at least.

i want to tell you that you arent defined by any persons inability to choose you. dont abandon who you cause russo did. dont neglect or question yourself alright? cause i know damn well murdock never did. that guy saw you for you livia. he knew exactly who you were and he probably knew it before you did.

what i know is that not everyone has a heart like yours. most people don't know how to give the way you do. they just take yknow? carrying a heart big as yours gotta be exhausting. but you got this light and its really a gift but i know youre starting to feel like a curse.

as cheesy as this is gonna sound you gotta keep pushing. life for me and you isnt easy and youre too damn stubborn to let anything take you down. jesus y/n the stories i would hear about you in the costume had me convinced you werent human.

i want to leave you an address to write to but i dont even know where imma end up. its real shitty that i had to leave you like that but i wouldn’t have if i didnt think you had it in you to pull through.

murdock saw your light. i saw it. karen and nelson see it. pretty sure russo saw it too before everything. and no one can take from you unless you let them. i know youre going through hell right now but keep going. how are you gonna see it get better if you quit now?

i love you livia. stay alive till i made a trip back alright?

ps: forgive yourself for everything.

-f “

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goddevouringserpent · 5 months ago

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WOTR Companions First and Final Impressions

taking the open tag @the-raging-tempest left over at Discord cause I really really wanted to do this hehehehe :3 it was very very fun, even if time-consuming, so I am open tagging anyone who wants to do it! (& please do feel free to tag me in it because I very much want to see 👀)

the first impressions match the first actual interaction my KCs had with the companions, for which I am using the first real dialogue they ever had; so, for example, although they both technically met Camellia at the Kenabres festival, I am counting the first meeting as being in the caves under Kenabres.

First impressions

Seelah

Irenni: "A spot of hope in the middle of so much destruction! You lighten my heart with your presence, lady knight."

Kaija: "Paladin of Iomedae, huh? Well, you don't seem as stuck-up as the rest of your kin, at least. Mind your own business, I'll mind mine, and we should get along fine."

Camellia

Irenni: "So poised and elegant... I'm surprised by how nonplussed you seem, but in all fairness, you look high-born, and I suppose nobles are taught to conceal their emotions."

Kaija: "Ugh. Do we really have to babysit this spoiled brat? Hope you actually know how to use that rapier of yours, pretty girl, 'cause I'm not sticking my neck out for you."

Lann

Irenni: "A valiant warrior with a noble heart, I can tell. 'Tis a pity you downplay your own worth with such ferocity."

Kaija: "I know your type. You hate who you are, don't you, underground crusader? Tale as old as time. Shed those chains already—they'll never see you like you want them to see you. We're all just horned freaks to the respectable folks."

Wenduag

Irenni: "You are so angry... We mean no harm to you or yours. Let us help, please. We can only save each other if we stick together!"

Kaija: "There's a shrewdness in you, isn't there? You're a clever one. A survivor. Dangerous. It's fine, I can work with that. You're nothing new to me, huntress."

Woljif

Irenni: "I hope I'm not making a mistake by helping you. You seem harmless enough, but that shadow... There's something wrong about it. Do you even know the nature of the magic you wield?"

Kaija: "A kindred spirit. You're the only one here who understands. I see it in your eyes. We have the same look, you and I, the same kind of dirt under our fingernails, the same bloodied teeth. I've got your back, for as long as this arrangement lasts—way things are, turning my back on you would be like turning my back on myself."

Ember

Irenni: "Oh, you sweet soul... 'tis fortunate Andoletta watches over you, but still—you should be somewhere safe, enjoying your childhood, not bearing witness to the horrors of war."

Kaija: "I can tell there's some sort of strength in you, but you've gotta toughen up, kid, or the world will chew you up and spit you out."

Daeran

Irenni: "You behave as though you knew exactly what to say in order to vex me, Count Arendae. I ought to chastise you for being so irresponsible and inconsiderate, but you would not care at all. And... truth be told, you are fascinating, in your own way. A weakness in me, perhaps. We shall see. In the meantime—make yourself useful."

Kaija: "Hello there, yet-another-noble-prick in the endless assortment of Mendevian noble pricks! At least you're fun to be around, I'll give you that. Maybe someday I'll crash one of your parties. You might even thank me for it."

Nenio

Irenni: "A fellow scholar! Oh, this is so exciting. I cannot even blame you for your... peculiarities; truly, all of us who share an interest for the academic can sympathize, to one degree or another. I do so look forward to trading theories with you."

Kaija: "Heard about people like you, here and there. Strange stories. Sad, often. Leave it to a genius to lose her mind—there's a certain irony in it. But I think we'll work well together, long as you follow my lead."

Galfrey

Irenni: "Everlight, I feel so inadequate. The Queen of Mendev! Here! Sitting at my table! It is a pleasure and an honour, Your Majesty, although I wish the circumstances were different... and I wish I were a bit more put-together for the occasion..."

Kaija: "Bah. Mendev's golden figurehead. Must feel good, to come marching in and have everyone prostrate themselves at your feet, even though you did absolutely jack shit. Don't expect any special treatment from me, Your Majesty. Far as I'm concerned, you're just some freeloader at our table."

Sosiel

Irenni: "A servant of the Eternal Rose is always welcome! I see a sincere kindness in your eyes that puts me at ease... and Sarenrae knows that is exactly what I need right now."

Kaija: "Nice to have another artist nearby. Not many of us here. And there's a steel in you, a fire. It burns low, more a simmer than anything else, but I can tell. I've been there. No wonder, after the losses you've experienced. You'll do fine. Channel that fire."

Regill

Irenni: "Hellknight, is it? Hmph. I guarantee you will disagree with my methods, Paralictor; I hope, for both our sakes, that you are still willing to obey my orders."

Kaija: "Credit where it's due, you're one hell of a fighter. Don't really mind the stick up your ass if we can use it in our favour. 'Sides, a little spot of pragmatism might do us some good in the long run. Tired of all the crusaders with their heads in the clouds."

Arueshalae

Irenni: "My heart reaches out to you, as yours does to mine. I am aware it is ill-advised to trust a succubus, but, as servants of good, ought we not embrace any demons who choose to leave behind the stain of evil and embark upon a different path? Is it not our duty to aid them in this difficult journey? I open my arms for you, Arueshalae, even if it means the death of me."

Kaija: "I should be suspicious, and yet... I heard you. I saw you. In the temple of Desna, and in the shrine. That... that can't just be a demonic trick, right? There are some things the Abyss can't touch. But an ascending succubus... Demons aren't capable of redemption. It isn't in their nature. It's what everyone says, isn't it? But... but maybe... Maybe there's a chance... Maybe, if you..."

Greybor

Irenni: "Why in the world would you refuse to address the demon invasion going on, but take on an assassination contract? I am astounded by the greed and selfishness involved in your thought process, but, most of all, I am baffled by your short-sightedness. There will be no gold to reclaim should the armies of the Abyss prevail, good sir."

Kaija: "'Go and get reinforcements from the Defender's Heart,' heh... You don't know who you're talking to, master assassin. Don't need help to kill these demons. Go ahead and take care of your mark—just don't get in my way. Wouldn't want ya to have your limbs cleaved off."

Parting thoughts

Seelah

Irenni: "What a joy, to have shared this fight with you. You have kept me steady, grounded in hope, and I am so glad to have done the same for you. Do not let anyone extinguish your spark. It is people like you that give our struggles meaning."

Kaija: "You've proven me wrong, time and time again. Never thought I'd be happy about that, but I guess there's always a first time for everything. It's been an honour fighting at your side, Seelah... And an even bigger honour drinking at your side!"

Camellia

Irenni: "I... I tried, Camellia. I really did. I would have helped you, if only you had been truthful. But in the end, I... I did what I had to do. I am not proud of it, but you forced my hand."

Kaija: "I keep telling myself it was for the best, and maybe one day I'll believe it. We would've ruined each other, beloved, you know that as well as I do. Better to stop when... when we still could. But that doesn't mean I've stopped loving you. I never will. You'll always have a part of me. Wherever you go, whatever you do... be safe. Think of me, from time to time. I'll think of you."

Lann

Irenni: "It is so good to see you happy, at long last. You deserve it—you always have. You have performed all your duties admirably, Lann, both towards the crusade and towards your people. Find comfort, now. Live the life you want. May your aim be ever true and steady, my friend."

Kaija: "You've got to let go, at some point. Move on. Bury it or it'll bury you."

Wenduag

Irenni: "I bear you no ill will. You were deeply wounded, I can tell that now, and my only regret is being unable to heal you. May you find peace in the afterlife."

Kaija: "Hasn't always been easy, because I'll be fucked if you don't like to make everything as hard as possible, but... Here we are. Looking at us from where we stand at the end, I can say I'm glad to have met you. Glad to know you. You've found your own power, your own strength, and—I respect you, for that. See myself in you a little bit. Who would've thought, huh?"*

Woljif

Irenni: "I am so, so proud of you, and deeply ashamed I ever doubted you. So many would have fallen prey to the temptation of demonic power, but you... I know it was what you had wanted all your life, and yet you found strength enough in yourself to refuse it! I am humbled by you, Woljif."

Kaija: "The light of my life. That's what you are. Can't say I believe in soulmates or none of that, but I do believe in choosing someone over and over, with your whole heart, every day of your life, and... Well, I'll keep choosing you, over and over, for as long as I draw breath. You've changed me, deep to my core, and once upon a time I would've fought against that—you would've had me kicking and screaming to get out, heh—but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Wouldn't have you any other way. I'm with you, dearest, 'til the end, through thick and thin. It's you and me."

Ember

Irenni: "Your kindness is brilliant, Ember. Blinding. I hardly understand it myself, and I have felt the touch of Heaven! I know you do not believe in divine intervention, but... I cannot, in good faith, claim our meeting to be a coincidence. Both of us, devoted to mercy and redemption and salvation... We are the company we keep, I suppose, but we are altogether too similar in ideals for it to not mean something. I shall be pleased to accompany you further, should our paths meet again."

Kaija: "First time in my life I've ever been so thankful for someone getting their thoughts in order. You were heading down a bad road, kid. Putting yourself in danger. And—d'you think I could've lived with myself if I'd let you and you'd gotten killed because of it? I know it feels bad to have to temper your expectations, but you'll thank me later."

Daeran

Irenni: "Ah, my love, what I wouldn't do for you. We have not had an easy time of it, have we? A rocky beginning, a middle fraught with difficulties and obstacles... We have been our own worst enemies, in truth. But there is not a single thing that I would change. I am honoured to love you and to have you love me; to know you and to have you know me. I am so fortunate that you have chosen to trust me with your life, your heart, your freedom, even. I will keep you safe, no matter what it takes. You can rest lightly in my hands—I promise. You will never regret letting me love you."

Kaija: "Not too proud to admit I misjudged you. I mean, in a sense I had your measure as soon as I met you, knew exactly what kinda person I was dealing with, but in another sense, you've surprised me. Never thought I'd find a real friend in you. My best friend, even. Life's full of little jokes and twists, isn't it? I think we can both drink to that, and not just because we'll take any excuse to drink. So—here's to your health, Count."

Nenio

Irenni: "I... I don't understand. Why would you ever want... What led you to... to make the choices you made? You are worth more than that, Nenio. I pray it is not too late for you."

Kaija: "Somehow what's going on with you is less outlandish than what I thought was going on with you. It's fine. Seems like a lot, but you'll pull through, if you really want to. I believe you can."

Galfrey

Irenni: "You carry your burdens, and I carry mine. I neither envy nor resent you. Let us part in peace. I wish you well, Galfrey of Mendev."

Kaija: "Fool. If you keep holding your chin up, your neck'll snap. We're not on even footing anymore—I've long since surpassed ya, and you know it. Write a letter to your goddess if you're so mad about it."

Sosiel

Irenni: "It is good to see you have healed. You were teetering on the edge of something so grim, far from the light of Shelyn, and although I had faith in your ability to remain steadfast, I worried for you, Sosiel. Yet you have so gracefully recovered from the blows life dealt you. A soul as gentle and good as yours deserves nothing but that, my friend."

Kaija: "I know it wasn't what you expected, but did good. Kept your spine straight when it counted. Didn't back down. Opened your eyes. So that closure you got, Sosiel, those answers—that was all you, in the end. It was your actions that saved both of you. Take pride in that."

Regill

Irenni: "We have not always seen eye to eye... quite the opposite, in fact... but in the end, I am glad to have fought alongside you, Regill Derenge. I think, in better times, we could have been friends, but war can make strangers of us all."

Kaija: "Surprised at how well we work together. Or maybe not. It's all in the fighting mettle, after all—we're warriors through and through, and I guess even through our differences we could recognise that in each other. Steel calls to steel. I respect you, Regill, and I'm pretty sure the feeling's mutual. Wouldn't be where you are now if it weren't, yeah?"

Arueshalae

Irenni: "There are too many things I should have told you, too many things I should tell you... but now is not the time. Later, once we are free. Then I will... Everlight's mercy, I just need you to know how deeply I care for you, how much I treasure and cherish and admire you, how badly I want to—augh, later, Irenni, later!"**

Kaija: "You say that I saved you, that you owe me so much, but c'mon, Arue, don't sell yourself short: you saved me every bit as much as I saved you. A mutual thing, yeah? Pulled each other outta the Abyss. I'm so proud of you, sister, and so grateful for everything you've done."

Greybor

Irenni: "Truthfully, I was not expecting you to take my advice to heart, and I am pleasantly surprised you have chosen to do so. I wish you an uneventful life, Greybor. Enjoy every moment."

Kaija: "A professional, through and through. We did some good work together. You've a... productive future ahead of you, I'm sure—who knows, maybe I'll require your services sometime, hah."

*Kaija's parting answer for Wenduag is largely a placeholder because this is my first time recruiting Wendu (I'd wanted to before, but I couldn't rationalise how/why Kai would, until now) & I am still figuring out their dynamic. however, I feel there might be... Something there. as in, the inklings of a very interesting ship dynamic. and I can never say no to toxic yuri, it's my kryptonite, soooo I am just kinda leaving that reply there for now lol

**Irenni romances Arueshalae, but only after the game ends. during the events of the game itself she's too busy dealing with her feelings towards Daeran to even try and address her feelings towards Arue. they are very much present, Irenni just... sets them aside, for the time being, because she already has enough on her plate emotions-wise as-is LOL but after everything is done, they become an item :3

#Maia speaks #OC: Irenni #OC: Kaija #Irenni's parting answers take place before the final fight for... reasons. :3 #Kai's are more ambiguous in that regard (could be before or after)#if you read all of this I owe you my life and you can summon me for difficult battles btw.

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jainydoe · 19 days ago

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I was tagged by the lovely @volkoss for this ask the author! Here's the thing, I really don't think my WIPs are super appropriate for this just cause like...there are no lessons to be learned from a fluffy sugar baby au yk. So, instead, I'm gonna share a bit about my novel! Maybe branch this blog out into more fandoms/writing in general? Maybe? Who knows? ARE WE EXCITED AHAHA

What is the main lesson of your story?

Grief is an indulgence that shouldn't be rushed and is actually the pinnacle of the human experience. Also friendship trumps romance and the two are indecipherable.

What did you use as inspiration for your world building?

It's a blend of the town I went to college in and the morgue I worked at.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help them grow as a person?

The MC is trying to find peace. As am I, I suppose. I think it might be a nice story to live vicariously through. If you had the money, time and resources to completely wallow in the pleasure of misery, would you? I guess the point is to inspire people to be gluttonous with their pain very Loviatar

How many chapters is your story going to have?

However many it takes, I suppose

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original Content! If I ever finish it I'm not sure where it'll be. I'll consult my advisors (my best friend and partner)

When did you start writing?

I guess since I was a kid, but I really got into it in high school.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?

1) This is your play pen, your workshop space and the time to make mistakes. You're surrounded by a community of your peers who are here to see you flourish and succeed. Try on different hats, write genres and styles and characters you never have before, and remember we're all here because we loved something so much we came to tumblr.com. That's beautiful. 2) If you're a new writer and intimidated by someone else's style or handle on their projects, a lot of us have been doing this for years. This may be a new blog and I may be part of a new fandom, but I wrote garbage when I was fifteen and it was writing fanfiction that got me to work out the awkward phase and get into a stride where I was skating. By writing "bad" fanfiction, you are doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. You gotta grind the stone before it's sharp, etc. p.s. don't let your age discourage you??? I've been engrossed in fics and gotten to the author's notes and the person was like Sorry for the late update i had to register for high school so 3) REACH OUT TO PEOPLE!! DM authors you like and tell them you like their style!! I've met so many amazing people in this fandom and probably would not have continued writing if it weren't for the encouragement from them. Life is short, message blogs you admire.

I'm tagging the other fates, @emmg and @caffeinatedmunchkin but please fill this out and tag me if the Spirit moves you!

#ask list #personal #advice

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sol-shines · 1 year ago

Note

@ your tags PLEASE talk abt your parker designs!!!

this is for you and @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars THANK YOU for enabling me :3 sorry this took a little bit

if you don't know what this is about i drew my takes on the parkers here !

rambles under the cut:

SO what i sorta wanted to do was make. each parker flow into the next while subtly changing in between ,,, something something losing yourself to the game, becoming unrecognizable. so let's cover it parker by parker:

prime: i personally Love the hc that the coin is parker's mom. so prime is a lil ancient roman coded guy. he's SOOOO eldest sibling coded help. like he and his mom have a very strained relationship but also he thinks that if he just does whatever she wants she'll finally be proud of him :P whoops! and yeah v explosive anger (firewalker reference!), leading to ego, leading to. You Know. anyway. oh ALSO the parkers get younger as we progress so :))) they all STARTED at 19 but have varying degrees of age. so prime is in his mid-thirties.

parker ii: AH the most elusive of the parkers. SO: in my personal lore interp, parker ii was created when prime starting to push back against the coin more and more to the point where it was becoming a problem. and prime of course is very destructive and makes a mess when he's angry. so ii came about from me going "...what if parker just. said fuck it and left. didn't give a shit about ego just didn't wanna play the game anymore and found a way out." and that's exactly what my ii did. absolutely fucking vanished and quit the game for good. somehow. which uhhh MIGHT have been what caused prime to go apeshit ("why does ii get to leave and i'm stuck here?") and end prehistory. whoops. so i wanted to make them look very vagabond-y. somehow got even edgier than prime (impressive). also they're abt 30-ish. and have crazy gender stuff going on. possibly transfem. "but how is that possible if you hc the parkers as transmasc-" shhh. i don't know <3

park3r: GOD i loved doing this one. this parker is such a bitch and i love him. the first commissioner parker, created bc "OKAY so we gotta make him more young and impressionable and less unstable AND take him out of this game bc very clearly Bad Things will happen if he stays" so they made. a chronically online teenager and made them commissioner AMDNFM. god yeah i love this design he's sooo. just a 19-year-old trying to fill an impossible role and putting on a cool face about it. tragic, yes. but they're gonna complain the whole time and make everyone else miserable too. fully believe he was just scared and out of his depth the whole trial :( oops why are parkers iii and iiii so sad. i drew him closer to mid-20s here but honestly he could easily be younger

p4rker: LOVE this guy's lore so my hc is that after the trial that killed park3r it was like "uhhhh FUCK we need a new one of those. stat." so. they just. took park3r's incin'd body (ik it's not really Canon that park3r was incin'd he just Died but. let me have this) and like. stitched it back together. so p4rker is covered in burns and stitched together like frankenstein all over, and they just threw a mask on them like "see!!! new guy!!" the result of this being they didn't have. a whole ton of time to add shit like Personality, so p4rker is the outlier in that they're very naive and even polite? they don't understand what all the fuss is about them and just wants to be. nice? shame he didn't stick around long :/ the drippy bits are a little percolation nod! in this particular drawing he's like 20 :(

pvrker is. obviously the least human. park3r was more of a prototype of a commissioner, p4rker was a temporary placeholder at best, pvrker... was well and truly made For The Game. and his appearance reflects that. kinda a combination of iii's bluntness and 4's naivety. in-universe some people think he's the most sinister or whatever bc he's so directly Controlled By ILB Shit and that's not NOT true but like. give him a break guys he's like 6 days old he's new at this :(

ANYWAY that's so long holy shit. here are my rambles i hope u like them. im So Bad at blaseball lore so someone yell at me if something i put in there isn't accurate but. yeag :)

#parker macmillan #blaseball #WOO god this took so long to write and so much of it is just vibes but. I Like Them :)#they're so fun to draw!! so similar but different!!! h!!!!!#sol speaks

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buckyismybicycle · 2 years ago

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I don't know how terrible this quality will be on Tumblr, but the higher resolution/original can be found on AO3!

Title: swim for the music that saves you Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Tags: ShrinkyClinks, Social Media AU, WIP/teaser Summary: It all started when he sent a video singing Happy Birthday to his sister, not knowing that she would post it on her social media.

Now, JBuckyBarnes has millions of followers all hearing his story, following his recovery, listening to him sing. Little does he know, he's going to change the life of one follower in particular.

Steve Rogers, chronically ill and spending most of his days inside, has to live vicariously through others. He longs for adventure, trying new things, feeling the sun on his face. A/N: This fic has been sitting in my drafts for some time now... Thanks to @buckybarnesevents: Alternate June-iverse giving me a little kick, I've decided to post an excerpt/the beginning and the rest of it will come in due course.

“Hiya folks… Well, it was, uh.” The brunette on screen pauses and then smiles sadly. “Alright, you know I can’t lie to you. I wanna say it was fine and dandy, but it was honestly rough. That’s why this video’s a bit late, sorry ‘bout that, by the way. It took longer than I thought it would to edit so I honestly kind of gave up.”

He lays his head in a propped up hand, resting against his piano.

“So, I got home Sunday afternoon and crashed. I don’t even remember getting into bed. Didn’t sleep through the night, of course. I never do. But! That’s just me, my body’s not a fan of the meds. I was feeling crummy — you know when you’re so hungry you’re nauseous but you can’t eat ‘cause you’re nauseous? Anyway, so that for like, six hours. Finally got to sleep when the sun was risin’ but only managed about an hour or so. You lot haven’t heard Brooklyn traffic.”

Steve can’t help but smirk at that because he has, and he is in fact listening to the god-awful Brooklyn traffic outside his window. He could always move his desk away from the window, but he needs some sort of sunlight from time to time.

The YouTube video plays on his phone while he takes a break from work, stretching and wincing as his joints crack.

“So, it’s like, ten in the mornin’ and I decide I’m gonna get something to eat. Nausea won that round, unfortunately, so by three o'clock I am starving. I was cranky for the whole day, and I don’t wanna make cranky videos for you guys. So, that’s enough rambling from me. My brain’s been a little all over the place so I haven’t written anything in ages, but how about a cover of the best of the best? Thanks for sticking around! Hope you like this one.”

Steve watches as Bucky lifts the cover of his piano and stretches the fingers on his prosthetic. Today, it’s the metal titanium one, with its beautiful plate work and a small Hydra Industries logo on the forearm.

You gotta swim… Swim for your life

Swim for the music that saves you

When you're not so sure you'll survive

You gotta swim… Swim when it hurts

The whole world is watching

You haven't come this far to fall off the earth

The currents will pull you, away from your love

Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn

Memories like bullets, they fired at me from a gun

Cracking the armor, yeah

I swim for brighter days, despite of the absence of sun

Choking on salt water, I'm not giving in, I swim

You gotta swim… through nights that won't end

Swim for your families, your lovers, your sisters, and brothers and friends

Steve listens to the beautiful voice fill the empty space of his studio apartment, caught up in the soft yet powerful melody. What really hits him are the words, though.

Bucky’s life is no secret — except maybe his real first name because there’s no parent on this planet that hates their kid that much. Steve doesn’t know exactly how Bucky had started off, but the channel was a newer discovery for Steve.

Well, there it is. As always, thanks so much for tuning in! Hope you liked the song, and maybe I’ll see you guys next time with something original, huh? Bye!”

#connect4AU #alternate juneiverse #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #and moodboard I suppose #bucky barnes fanfiction

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disco-elysium-via-polls · 11 months ago

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🎵 Instrument of Surrender

For a reason that you'll see... soonish, but not today, I'm going to attempt this check again now.

BACKYARD WALL - Just an ordinary wall. Nothing to see here.

[Conceptualization - Impossible 18] Why am I looking at this wall?

+1 You have a keen aesthetic sensibility. +2 Cindy's artistic impulses are infectious. +1 Dresscode: Pseudo-SKULL

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Impossible: Failure] - Yeah, why? It's a wall, an ordinary wall.

INTERFACING - Snow covers the white-on-blue police livery of the motor carriage. The white colours nearly meld together.

Wait, why am I even thinking about this? Wasn't I supposed to…

"No time for this, gotta run." [Finish thought.]

INTERFACING - ... do something important? Something murder-related? There's always *something* important. Doesn't mean you can't take a moment to admire this piece of machinery.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - This is a Coupris Kineema, the Coupris MotorCorp's follow-up to their highly successful workhorse, Coupris 40, and the answer to the LUM's racing-bred 'Fevre' series.

INTERFACING - With its air-cooled, rear-mounted twelve cylinder compression ignition engine driving the rear wheels through a four-speed manual gearbox, the Kineema is able to reach 100 kilometres per hour in 13.5 seconds. And go on to a top speed of 180 kilometres an hour.

Won't it roll over in the first sharp corner?

Turn your attention to the motor carriage itself.

Motor carriages don't interest me. [Finish thought.]

INTERFACING - The high centre of balance is offset by a large battery bank mounted at the bottom of the cabin, feeding all the auxiliary systems and making the Kineema effectively a mobile power plant.

This tech-talk is really rubbing me the right way here.

Turn your attention to the motor carriage itself.

+1 Torque Dork

INTERFACING - Due to a quite steep price tag it is very unusual to see one in police livery.

COUPRIS KINEEMA - Even at a standstill the uni-body Coupris Kineema looks sleek and dynamic. The cabin is tilted frontward to give it a more aggressive *hunched* look.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Someone has waxed it recently.

"That machine really puts the 'loco' back in 'locomotion'!" (Point to the vehicle.) "Very cool."

"I don't like your machine, lieutenant. Looks impractical."

(Shrug.) "A motor carriage. One of many."

Actually motor carriages don't interest me. [Finish thought.]

+1 Torque Dork

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mhmh." The lieutenant smiles ever so slightly. "You want to take a closer look?"

"What's it packing there?" (Point to the engine.)

"What in there made the infernal whining sound that woke me?"

"A fine machine..." (Run your hand over the smooth metal surface.)

"Okay, let's move." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hundred-and-thirty."

INTERFACING - I reckon that's a seven-litre V12 there.

"That's what..." (Rub your chin.) "... a seven-litre V12?"

(Let out a whistle.) "Momma's serving some serious macaroni."

"Oh, I thought it would make more."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Seven-point-two. Supercharged." The lieutenant is trying to suppress a smug smile. Unsuccessfully.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Saying these words brings him immense joy.

2. "What in there made the infernal whining sound that woke me?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "You mean the coil noise?"

"What is 'coil noise'?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "When variable current passes through wires that make up the coils on the electrical systems on this machine -- it causes vibration in the wires and the cores of the coils."

"When the frequency of the current in the coils falls within the audible range the resulting vibration creates the *whiny sound* you mentioned."

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - What a binoclard!

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Whatever you do, don't make fun of the lieutenant for explaining this to you.

"You are such a binoclard, Kim."

"Wow... how do you know all that?"

"Mhmh, that's exactly what I thought."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I have pretty much maintained my vehicles by myself ever since one was assigned to me. You inevitably pick up some knowledge on the way."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - There's pride in there. A trained driver, *knows* his ride.

3. "A fine machine…" (Run your hand over the smooth metal surface.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes." There's gentleness in the lieutenant's voice as his eyes run over the vehicle's contours. "An extraordinary machine."

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - It's nice and all, but why so modest? Put some zing into it. Flare it up. Slam it down!

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - Helium headlights would improve the range and quality of the visual field a lot.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - It's a bit *girly* right now. Fit it with some proper off-road components.

"You need to *slam* it, Kim. Make it more imposing."

"Ever thought about switching to helium headlights?"

"With a winch and mud tyres we could take it off the beaten path, Kim."

"Okay, enough about the details."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Sorry, I'm not following you?"

INTERFACING - Lingo it up.

"Drop the ride *two hundo mill*, get the camber to frosty-frosty minuses..."

"I'm not either. Don't know why I said that."

KIM KITSURAGI - "No, that's... *porno*-tuning."

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - USE BIGGER WORDS!!!

"It needs a *MASSIVE* aero-kit and *GARGANTUAN* roof-mounted..."

"Trust me, it's cool."

"It's what?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Porno. That's short for pornography."

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - The sole purpose of 'pornography' is to stimulate one's visual sense to evoke sexual arousal -- the same is true with the modifications you're proposing.

"So? What's wrong with pornography?"

"Pornograpy is something completely different, Kim."

"Alright, I guess it did get a bit porny there."

KIM KITSURAGI - "That's a negative on the porno. Thank you, though."

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - No one in the history of convictions has been more sure of *anything*.

3. "With a winch and mud tyres we could take it off the beaten path, Kim."

KIM KITSURAGI - "We are not going to though, because this is clearly a *sports* motor carriage." Sounds like he has a strong concept of what this machine is.

2. "Ever thought about switching to helium headlights?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Actually, I have a pair at home -- just haven't gotten around to fitting them yet. I need to lay some wiring for the ballasts first..."

"If we ever get this case solved, maybe we can do it together?"

"Sounds like a hassle, but good luck."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Maybe," he replies with an apologetic smile and nods. "Yes, definitely maybe."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - ... and means *no*.

Didn't *quite* know enough about the engine to convince him there, unfortunately.

4. "Okay, let's move." [Leave.]

🎵 Martinaise, Terminal B

CARGO CONTAINER DOOR - You're back before the cargo container. Its draw has not lessened since you were last here. If anything, it seems to have grown slightly.

3. [Rhetoric - Impossible 18] Persuade the door to open.

+1 Erratic, yet thorough. +1 Been in the world for two days. +1 Been in the world for many days. +1 One more door.

RHETORIC [Impossible: Success] - Aaaaand as it's always been -- it's impossible to open a container with rhetoric. Maybe you're losing your mind?

Knock on the door.

CARGO CONTAINER DOOR - No reply.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - The knock produces a hollow ring of metal. Doesn't sound like there's anything inside the container.

2. Open the door.

CARGO CONTAINER DOOR - You attempt to turn the handle, to no avail. The doors seem to be mechanically locked.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] - To your left, the lieutenant considers your actions -- with some puzzlement.

4. Nothing more to do here for now. [Leave.]

None of that helped, but we're not necessarily done there.

🎵 Evrart's Theme

This is not a fishing rod, is it? It's...

REACTION SPEED - Is that an Insulindian phasmid? It looks like an Insulindian phasmid. Quick -- catch it before it scuttles away!

"Stop right there!"

Pirouette toward the phasmid.

Creep up to the phasmid quietly.

Wait a moment. Is that really the phasmid? You don't want to make a fool out of yourself.

FISHING ROD - Beautiful leap! But this isn't a phasmid in your hand -- it is a fishing rod.

EVRART CLAIRE - "What are you trying to accomplish, Harry?"

"Uh, it's a novel fishing method."

"Sorry, I thought the fishing rod was... something else."

"I was just trying to surprise you. To throw you off, you know."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Well, you certainly succeeded, Harry." He adjust himself in the chair. "You are a very surprising police officer indeed."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Mr. Du Bois, 'Every worker...'?" He leans toward you, waiting for your to complete his sentence.

"... a member of the board?"

"... is a living god!"

"... is an organ in the great state organism of war! Also, looks just like *me*."

"… for himself!"

EVRART CLAIRE - "That's right, Mr. Du Bois!" He nods in approval. "I see the socialist-democratic fervour now burns in your heart too. How can I help you today?"

"I'm looking for a cell of underground communists. Can you help me?"

"I opened the door you asked me. Can we discuss the murder now?"

"Let's talk about my lost gun."

"I did it, Evrart -- I made it even shadier."

"A few more things regarding Joyce..."

"What's in the container that's outside your office?"

"Evrart, I'm going to leave now, but we might talk again later." [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - "Mr. Du Bois, really. Do I look like a man who has time for *underground* communists? I'm as aboveground as it gets!"

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - That's a non sequitur if you've ever heard one!

"Let's drop the funny stuff. I'm trying to make contact with my revolutionary brethren."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Sure thing, Harry. We're *all business* now. The answer is still 'no'. I'm a busy man, as you can see. I don't block off time on my schedule for 'underground' types..."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - That note of contempt in his voice is sincere, sssire.

EVRART CLAIRE - "You've already spoken with Mañana, as I understand. I'm afraid I don't have anything else for you on *this subject*..."

RHETORIC - That's all you're going to get out of him, it appears.

EVRART CLAIRE - "Now, was there anything else you wished to discuss today?"

"I opened the door you asked me. Can we discuss the murder now?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "I'm very glad to hear that, Harry," he says with a smile. "One question: you didn't actually happen to stumble in and see what's inside the apartment, did you?"

Task complete: Open apartment door for Evrart

+70 XP

Level up!

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - He's trying to figure out if you're lying.

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - There is no way to sway this man in any direction. He is un-suggestable and un-swayable. Just tell the truth.

"I *may have* gone inside and seen a collection of racist mugs."

"I did go inside. Weasel had the flag of the Old Revachol on his wall."

"The deal wasn't for me to go inside, so I didn't."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Just as I thought. Culturally antiquated mug collection. What a weasel..." He shakes his head. "*Pissing* on Evrart's Rainbow Coalition."

DRAMA - He *was* testing you. And you succeeded.

EVRART CLAIRE - "Now let's get down to brass tacks. It's time for men like me and you to figure out who's killed who and why." He pretends to roll up his sleeves. "Real police work is gonna start happening now. I promise you, Harry, this is gonna be good."

"I've heard about a connection between the lynching and the strike. I'd like to hear what you know about it."

EVRART CLAIRE - "By now I'm *sure* you've figured out who the dead man was working for -- the bad guys. Wild Pines. Sent to scare us. Another *violent measure* of the top hats against us flat caps."

"I'm listening."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Harry, this strike is the culmination of many *many*, mistakes made by the Wild Pines Group. They tried to shut the strike down by sending in armed mercenaries."

KIM KITSURAGI - "You mean our victim?"

EVRART CLAIRE - He nods gravely. "A security contractor. Can you imagine that? Workers standing in peaceful protest -- united in the spirit of fellowship! -- and they send hired killers to *mow* us down with machine gun fire."

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - He performs a motion, as if spraying bullets from a machine gun.

EVRART CLAIRE - "I'm talking *beasts*, hardened killers from proxy wars in Yeesut, Semenine, Saramiriza -- you name it, they've done it. Raping, killing, burning villages -- killing little children for the Señorita Pineapple company, Harry..."

"Everything they did there, they brought over here. They want to turn Revachol into a Third World slum. Honestly, the only thing they didn't do, is kill the village elephant."

"Hold on, you have a village elephant?"

"Go on."

"I think I've heard enough."

EVRART CLAIRE - "No, Harry, the elephant is metaphorical and so is the village, but the mercs -- and their brutality -- are very real."

"Go on."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Now, I haven't *personally* witnessed the brutalities out there. I have the luxury of staying in my container, you see -- if I need to go somewhere, they just move my container." He laughs.

"Wait, they move the container?"

"Go on."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes! I'm an old man, Harry. My legs aren't what they used to be. They lift my office with that big crane. It's actually very fun, you should try it."

"But enough about me and my fun container." His face turns serious. "The killers the company hired… I think there were three of them. All hardened commando-types."

"One of them got downright suicidal. Getting drunk, violent, a little rapey..." He shakes his head. "Even their own negotiator couldn't control him. That's your boy, the one who likes *hanging out* and trees."

KIM KITSURAGI - "By *negotiator* you mean Joyce?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Harry," he says, ignoring the lieutenant, "what you need to realize is -- we dockworkers are not pushovers."

"We got grit, Harry -- this whole neighbourhood does. Push us hard enough and we push back -- and when we do..." He raises his finger. "We push to kill."

"Wait, the whole *neighbourhood* is in on it?"

"Who exactly did the *pushing*?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Potentially, Harry, potentially. We got arm wrestling champions, rowing club people, ex-coal miners -- tough guys, all ready to spring into action for their home base."

"Who exactly did the *pushing*?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "There's a militant wing inside the Union. A group of people whose duties don't involve manual labour, but peacekeeping in the neighbourhood. Making sure everything runs smoothly."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - That sounds a bit like organized crime.

EVRART CLAIRE - "They're like you guys," he nods to you and the lieutenant. "Idealistic people who want to make sure bad things don't happen. And if they already have... well, punishment must follow."

LOGIC - Again: that sounds like organized crime.

KIM KITSURAGI - "So these *idealists* killed our victim?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Mhmh. One day Titus Hardie -- leader of this peacekeeping faction -- comes up to me and says: 'Boss, socialist-democratic fervour drove us to take it upon ourselves to kill this beast that was burdening the land.'"

"He probably worded it differently, but that was the idea. Sure sounded to me like they killed him." He chuckles. "I gave them two weeks paid leave and told them to lay low to avoid retaliation."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Aren't you worried we might arrest them for this?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, I'm not *at all* worried about that. These are not the kind of men who get arrested. They're Martinaise boys, tough and gritty. I'd like to see the man who takes them in." He chuckles. "Besides I sent my lawyergirl to look after them."

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success]- Despite his boastful tone, he's having doubts about something -- but what?

Maybe he doesn't believe the boys *really* had it in them. They're his boys after all.

"I think you're sharing information with the police, because you don't think they *actually* did it."

"Okay. Another question."

EVRART CLAIRE - "That's very clever, Harry. Yes. They might have said it just to impress some girls or something." He rubs his chin. "But Titus has a bad temper, so the chances are 50-50."

+5 XP

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - He thinks it's closer to 60-40. 60 they didn't do it.

"I want to hear again about how the lynching and the strike are connected."

"There was a bullet in the hanged man's head."

"How do you know the mercenaries were hired by the shipping company?"

"You mentioned a *lawyergirl*?"

"Tell me about Titus Hardie and his crew."

"Good talk. Let's conclude for now."

EVRART CLAIRE - "So they shot him?" He sounds pleasantly surprised.

KIM KITSURAGI - "He was shot in the head *before* he was hanged."

EVRART CLAIRE - "How odd." The man shrugs. "I don't know what to say, lieutenant. They told me they hanged him. A hanged man is what I saw when I took a look into that yard..."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - It's impossible to say if he's telling the truth, sire.

EVRART CLAIRE - "What I *do* know is -- the case is in safe hands. If anyone can get to the bottom of this shot-and-hanged-man, it's my two little policemen. Godspeed, policemen!"

3. "How do you know the mercenaries were hired by the shipping company?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "How do I know? Let me tell you about these people." He slams his fist on the desk. "That's their MO. It's what they do."

"Last winter some poor workers in Terminal E went on a little strike. The company sent in *Sediment* -- a security contractor. The strike was over the workers' right to wear protective footwear, Harry."

"These guys turn up and start beating people. Tell you what, Harry, I wouldn't be surprised if we got the same mercenary company -- after a little *rebranding*. And I'm sure as hell not surprised to see an army of scabs under my gates."

KIM KITSURAGI - "So you believe the scabs were organized by the security contractor?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "You said it. Hell..." The fist slams on the desk again. "... one of those guys looks big enough to take down that proverbial elephant! Boys like that don't just *happen* to show up during strikes."

"The name of the company is Krenel this time. It might have been Sediment before."

"Another question."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Of course, you're always one step ahead of me, Harry. I'm no genius. I'm in this position because people *like* me."

"The remaining mercenaries are organizing a tribunal to take on the Hardies."

"Let's change the subject."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Tribunal?" He appears aghast. "That sounds *serious* Harry. We Union men should be *shitting* ourselves..." He rubs his chin and smiles suddenly: "I wish you hadn't told me that. I'm gonna lose *sleep* over this. Let's change the subject."

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He's clearly happy about the tribunal.

"You don't *seem* too worried about it."

"Okay. Yes."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, Harry, what do I *really* think about the tribunal? You're trying to climb to second base with old Evrart before you've even courted him properly."

+5 XP

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - He wants you to do more *things* for him before.

4. "You mentioned a *lawyergirl*?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, Liz is a bright one!" He grins broadly. "I paid for that law degree myself, thinking it'll probably turn her all fancy, but hell, Harry -- she came back a firebrand socialist! Sometimes she scares *me* with her zeal."

5. "Tell me about Titus Hardie and his crew."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, they are simply fine young men -- all seven of them! Exemplary Union members. Always working to advance their position in the local socialist-democratic movement. Core members."

"Old Theo used to run them, but things really *kicked into gear* when Titus took the reins and named the group after himself." He starts laughing. "Gotta love his initiative."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Interesting. Who's second in command?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "They're almost all of them *great* guys, born leaders. Whatever happened, I'm sure they only had the best interests of Martinaise and Revachol in mind."

"Work with them -- hell, interview them! But don't fight them. They really are just like you -- men who like beer, women, and some *order* on the streets."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - That's him *allowing* the police to ask his men questions.

LOGIC [Challenging: Success] - He's betting on them being useless to you.

6. "Evrart, I met these Hardies. Can you ask them to cooperate with me?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "But of course! It's the least I can do for my good friend, Harry. I'll do it right after we've concluded this talk."

+5 XP

AUTHORITY [Trivial: Success] - You can now go and tell Titus about this. See what he has to say.

EVRART CLAIRE - "Also, Harry, here's five reál." He holds out a banknote.

"Wait, why are you giving it to me?"

Take it.

"I don't need it, I only wanted you to help me with the Hardie boys."

EVRART CLAIRE - "I'm not giving you anything. I'm just holding out five reál."

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Needless to say, this is another *move*. Don't take it.

We also just genuinely do not need more money. This will still make talking to the Hardies easier.

2. "I don't need it, I only wanted you to help me with the Hardie boys."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, I wasn't offering it to you, just holding it out there." He pockets the bill. "But I am willing to share *information*. Was there anything else?"

+1 Honour +1 Reputation

7. "Good talk. Let's conclude for now."

EVRART CLAIRE - "*Was* it a good talk?" He leans back, suddenly worried. "I'm not sure we made much headway here. I was hoping we'd bust the case wide open, heck, I even wanted to tell you what I *really* want to achieve with the strike..."

"I don't know what happened, Harry. I wanted you to feel like Mr. Martinaise! And, of course -- I also wanted you to *find your gun*." Great sadness comes over him. "But... it's like I can't completely trust you. Yet."

"Yet?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes, Harry. It's like I can't *fully* trust you if you're not a man of the left," he says, slowly shaking his head. "I *want* to, but I just can't..."

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - A man of the left? So you have to be a social democrat?

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He's been *hurt* too much in the past -- by men who aren't *social democrats*.

"I am not a 'man of the left'. I'm a patriot of Revachol."

"You're right not to trust me. I take care of *me*. I'm a hustler. I grind. I'm a money engineer."

"What's that supposed to mean?! I'm more left than *you* are."

"This is another corrupt scheme, isn't it? I'm neither left nor right. I do what my *heart* tells me to do."

+1 Communism

EVRART CLAIRE - "You're saying it, but I don't believe you. You know how it is -- company snitches, *agent provocateurs* everywhere... I'm barricaded in this fortress of mine, and I need to get a message out. Will you help me?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "And what would this entail?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Once again I require nothing unethical or illegal of you. You just need to get two little signatures on this piece of paper." He pulls out an envelope. "And then mail it to my accountant in La Delta."

"Kim, what do you think of this?"

"What are the signatures for?"

"Fine, if I happen to be there, I can ask them." (Accept the task.)

"No, I'm not going to do this." (Reject the task.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "It depends. I don't think what we just got from Mr. Claire was very useful." He studies Evrart.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - But, he thinks, it's your call.

EVRART CLAIRE - "As I said, it weighs on me heavily..." He bows his head in shame, then looks up and smiles: "But once we get *really* talking... well, I'm gonna hand you the keys to Martinaise! And maybe even help you figure out who's behind this killing."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - He's saying as little as possible as vaguely as he can. Deliberately omitting things.

2. "What are the signatures for?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "I'm glad you asked, Harry -- the Union is going to build a modern youth centre in Martinaise!" He grins broadly. "It will be *righteous*. We're gonna get those teenagers off drugs -- and *on* roller skates!"

"There's a nameless little street on the coast with some old houses around it. Most people have already signed. I just need *two* more signatures to get this mission off the ground, Harry."

3. "You mean the fishing village?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes, yes, the little cul-de-sac on the coast. Where all the men have drowned -- in either the sea or the bottle. A gloomy place, doesn't have that Union attitude."

4. "What will happen to the current occupants?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "They're just gonna have to deal with the construction noise for six months and then they'll be living like kings -- right next to a fancy new youth centre, designed by the best architects from Stella Maris."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Is he absolutely sure the tenants won't be thrown out in the street?

"Are you 100% sure no one's going to end up homeless?"

"Sounds like everybody wins."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Am I...?" The big man shakes his head in disbelief. "Harry, these people... Martinaise is the most important thing in my life. I would never let anything bad happen to them."

"We're gonna build a youth centre there. The value of their properties goes up and kids have a place to play in. I'm looking out for these people, not pulling the rug from under them, Harry. I'm looking out for all of Martinaise, not just the harbour."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He means it.

5. "Fine, if I happen to be there, I can ask them." (Accept the task.)

I don't see any problems with this, and it's the only way to get a lead on our gun.

EVRART CLAIRE - "You bring joy to my heart, Harry -- such a pleasure to be working with you. Here..." He hands you an open white envelope.

Item gained: White Envelope

"You need to get signatures from Isobel Sadie and Lilienne Carter. The cul-de-sac is right past the pawnshop and across the canal. I heard there was some trouble with the water lock, but it should be fixed now."

"Once you have the signatures, mail this to 13022 La Rocca in La Delta. *Then* I'll know you're a solid socialist." He runs his fingers through his thin hair.

New task: Get two signatures for Evrart

2. "Let's talk about my lost gun."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes, yes, my best men are tracking it down. Some kids saw some other kids running away with it. Some folks said a paranoid schizophrenic might have it. Leads are being checked, Harry."

"What's that, Harry? You're getting a little pale. Is it the words *paranoid schizophrenic* and *lost gun* in one sentence? Don't worry, it's just a lead. It'll probably turn out to be nothing."

4. "I did it, Evrart -- I made it even shadier."

EVRART CLAIRE - "What?" The big man looks at you surprised.

"The brew! The shady, shady brew."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Oh, how could I forget your little side-project! Well done, Harry. Well done! Don't even tell me what it was. But good job! I love it when workers take the initiative like this."

+5 XP

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - So do I. That's one tasty brew, you should drink some right now if you can!

4. "A few more things regarding Joyce..."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Great! You wanna bounce something off your old friend, Mr. Claire, right?" He seems genuinely pleased. "Well, let's hear it, Harry!"

Only one new dialogue option here...

2. "I told Joyce that I met you."

EVRART CLAIRE - "It's *perfectly* okay. Even if you've told her everything we've talked about, it's *absolutely* fine."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He seems happy about the prospect of you telling Joyce about your conversations.

"It sounds like you *want* me to tell her about our conversations."

"Okay, that's cool."

EVRART CLAIRE - "No, no, Harry. I'm perfectly neutral *and* one hundred percent for transparency. I know people say a lot of bad things about the Débardeurs Union, but we are actually," -- he squeaks his chair -- "squeaky clean."

+5 XP

EMPATHY - Yes, he really doesn't seem to mind.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hmh..." The lieutenant seems incredulous.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Sure, he thinks. It's about *transparency*.

7. "Okay, let's talk about something else." (Conclude.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "Absolutely, Harry! What's on your mind?"

"I mailed the signatures you asked me to get." (Lie.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "No, you didn't." He waves you off with a chuckle. "I know the mail-man, Harry. I know everyone and everything that happens in this town and I *know* there's no letter in that mailbox yet."

"Just like I *know* you'll get it done. Once you stop horsing around." He nods reassuringly. "Let me know when it's done."

5. "Evrart, I'm going to leave now, but we might talk again later." [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - "See you soon, débardeur!" The big man raises his hand in farewell. "Just kidding. But not too much."

WHITE ENVELOPE

A white envelope with a stamp attached to the upper-right corner, handed to you by Evrart Claire. Inside are some legal documents with two names printed on them: Isobel Sadie and Lilienne Carter. Both signatures are required.

>INTERACT

WHITE ENVELOPE- You take the legal documents out of the envelope: a 12-40 month construction period and the zoning plan in the addendum.

Look at the zoning plan.

"Kim, what do you think of this?"

[Logic - Medium 11] Try to find a loophole in the deal.

Put the documents back in the envelope. [Leave.]

WHITE ENVELOPE- The youth centre cuts into the ocean like the bow of some great modern ship. Apparently it's going to cover most -- if not all -- of the street and the square between the existing houses. It's three storeys tall.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - It's going to be awfully close to the already existing buildings. Almost wall to wall, practically integrating them into the youth centre.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - This is either an ominous or cool architectural choice -- hard to say.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - My money is on cool. Looks like a cubic pyrite.

2. "Kim, what do you think of this?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm no property lawyer, but it looks fine," the lieutenant replies, flipping through the documents. "I like the print size. They're not selling or leasing anything. It's not a perfect solution, but..." He shrugs.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - ...how else are you going to build something? It's always inconvenient to build things, and citizens inevitably have disagreements over such construction projects, but there's no other way.

You know what, let's not stand right in front of Evrart while we do the next thing.

3. [Logic - Medium 11] Try to find a loophole in the deal.

+1 Centre's very dclose to houses. +1 Ominous shape. -1 Cool cubic pyrite.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - There is no loophole. The simple truth is the current residents are going to lose their street access and for the next 12-40 months their lives will be dominated by constant construction noise right next door.

Wait, what are the ramifications of this?

"Look, Kim..." (Point to the photocopy.) "These people are going to have to move away. Can we do something about it?"

"The noise will be tough on the villagers, but I guess that's just the cost of progress."

LOGIC - Once the construction starts it'll probably take a few months -- a year maybe -- for even the most stubborn occupants to get tired of living like this. After that they'll sell their property for cheap and move out.

"Look, Kim..." (Point to the photocopy.) "These people are going to have to move away. Can we do something about it?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I should have seen it." The lieutenant frowns as he reads over the document again.

"Evrart probably has eyes on us, but..." He pauses to think. "We could try to get other people to sign this instead of those listed. *Or* you could forge their signatures yourself. By the time he finds out, we'll already be gone."

Attempting to forge the signature has a -10 penalty, as Evrart's people could be watching us here. If we're going to attempt this, we'll need to do it somewhere else. Or Kim's other suggestion might be easier...

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #evrart claire #titus hardie #elizabeth beaufort

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