#i don't have any explanation for it btw it just kinda happened LOL

[clearbun]

probably the last wip i'm gonna post but we're getting places :) might be able to finish it tomorrow

i'm also recording a timelapse so i'll have that to post with the finished thing too <3 (assuming that it doesn't mess up bc i haven't recorded one with this program before DSLKFSADJF)

[k4txlulzz]

(warning: this is a random late night rant y'all , feel free to not take this seriously its just my scrambled thoughts lol)

vanitas no carte fandom is a lot more chaotic than i remembered it to be😭guys what happened i just came back to see how the story progressed (BTW MY FAVE SCENES GOT ANIMATED SO WELL !! the eng dub is so good too)

okay so! vanitas is my favorite character and i truly think he has a good, selfless heart. but yk what? that kiss scene with him and jeanne keeps popping up in my head. but then i remember that if i consider that moment SA i'd have to consider ALOT more romance scenes in the story as that too and i just don't think there can be that amount of **intentional** assault scenes from the creator ?😭

folks have brought up the cabin scene and??? that just confused me. because i never even thought of that possibility while looking at the panels or the scene. people hate vanitas or vanijeanne or even jeanne because of this kinda stuff and . while im conflicted and even uncomfortable(the kiss scene specifically) i also believe that the creator would not make a character SA anyone like that and make it seem romantic. i see this as: if its shown to be cute or romantic and does not show negative mental consequences of the characters after the event, it was not **intended** to be assault. (edit: while vanitas is shown to be malicious in this scene, the incident gets brought up like once after and doesn't really turn into an obstacle in vanitas' and jeanne's relationship which is what made me think this) basically, if it's shown to be harmless, it was most likely intended as that. and i understand the issue with that one weird kiss scene, i don't like it either. its just that vanitas happened to be my favorite before i learnt all this and that made me try and look for an explanation or some sort of evidence that maybe this is a "suspend your disbelief" moment but i dunno. i just desperately don't wanna think that a character and one of the dynamics that mean a lot to me have gross, scary implications . the creator wouldn't write jeanne or vanitas to do something so horrible because those are some of the characters she wants fans to be invested in and that can't be done if those characters are assaulters😭 the kiss scene still does ick me though and i think the moment should have been done differently? in any case, i generally think that media literacy is something every fan needs to have. because otherwise we back ourselves into a corner and "criticize problematic stuff" ourselves into viewing every character as a terrible person who should not be liked

but then again, this IS just my opinion and, to be clear, i don't support assault being brushed off in any media

[edit 2: i also acknowledge that i may be leaning towards copium with this one but that doesn't mean i don't recognize the creator's attempt to create a complex dynamic and characters; i just feel like because of this one scene a lot of people hate vanitas and brush off his dynamic with jeanne entirely which is sad because they have a lot of stuff thats worth getting interested in. i just wanted to make it clear that this post is just me ranting about something and not meant to be taken as a proper analysis ^^🙏🏼 it has also been a while since i looked at VNC stuff and may have gotten a bit rusty. i acknowledge that SA may perhaps be a significant part of the storytelling in VNC but i don't really want to think about those moments for personal reasons and especially when it is shown to be done by a character that really does mean a lot to me:) i enjoyed reading the comments i got on this post and am genuinely quite grateful for them]

[tazmilygray]

I just rediscovered this old-ish post with your Susie headcanons (cool hc's and cute art btw) and about the part where she "lost her mother to Star Dream at age 6", what exactly happened to her? Did she die in an accident seperate from the one the teleported Susie? (In that case, was her father working on the machine to try to revive her only to lose Susie as well?) I'm sorry if you don't like me sending an ask over a five-month-old post (I'm kind of new to asks), I was just wondering.

it's all good! I don't mind at all. putting a tldr at the bottom because I realize I got carried away lol. I haven't thought about this hc in ages and it wasn't fully developed so the explanation won't be perfect but I'll do my best!

Susie's mother kinda recognized that there was something up with Star Dream so she went to investigate it on her own, and it didn't want to be disposed of or anything so it sent her to Another Dimension.

Before then, Haltmann was just looking for profit from it, ykno, repair a nova and you'll be galaxy renowned

but then when Star Dream ate his wife (teleported her without a trace), he decided his new goal was to get her back. he didn't actually know what happened to her, whether she left him, or what. he just wanted her back. he hadn't wanted to make any wishes until it was finished because of the risk, but he wished on star dream for his wife back. star dream may have been a baby computer, but it knew it didn't want to go through with the wish. so it molded it's own personality around the wife, and to haltmann it just solidified the fact that star dream definitely wasn't done.

that's why a lot of star dream motifs revolve around it being the "mother computer", and the title theme being called "mother's intuition".

he continued to search for her as he repaired star dream, but Susie wandered in during a test, and she got teleported too. that one WAS an accident, and this time haltmann knew what happened. since he actually knew this time, he focused everything into getting her back. he knew wishing her back wouldn't work, but he did it anyway. star dream still had mannerisms of his wife, but, since it didn't know how to get her back, being unable to fully control its powers, all it was able to do was the same thing it did last time. it modeled more parts of itself around what it knew about Susie. started acting like a child almost.

haltmann had nothing left and he was losing hope so he started making more wishes, and "gain profit" turned back into the goal, but now it was "mechanize the galaxy".

in his search for Susie, he fully forgot about ever even having a wife. the ring on his finger is just another adornment to show his wealth. just jewelry. he photo of his family he keeps on him at all times? his little daughter and someone he used to know.

the search for Susie dwindled, became less important, and he had it in his mind that his daughter was a child, he didn't realize how much time had passed when Susie finally came back through one of the many wandering portals in another dimension.

so tldr, the mother got teleported to another dimension in an accident unrelated to Susie because she was suspicious of star dream and the effect it was having on her family

tysm for the ask, I enjoyed going back over this with myself! came up with the hcs with my friend @valentronic , so they're not fully my ideas

[just-a-carrot]

Hey, Carrot!!

Just wanted to confirm you that your self-indulgent does, in fact, also mean "us-indulgent" 🤣🤣

I've just played the game and I loved it🤩🤩

I was kind of mad when I saw that I could only choose the options with the hand so many times before the bar depleted and lost the chance of getting the true ending. (I wanted to "make a jest" so bad every time it appeared 🤣🤣)

I adore the menu screen once you get THE ending, it's just so sweet I will stare at it forever🤧🤧

Btw, the whole game reminded me a lot of that one piece of art from some time ago and I can't help but wonder: did this piece sparkle the idea of the game (like, the conversation that they could have given their roles, which would eventually become the game)?

Or maybe it's simply that they both happen in the same place and are inspired by dd2(?🤣🤣

(Also, I know almost nothing about dd2, what does it mean when his hand started glowing?)

WAH

i'm really happy you enjoyed it... 💕 thank you for playing! lkdjflaksdf i'm sorry about forcing you to choose other options 🤣 there are a couple different ways you can reach the end. i think you only need to save up will for like... maybe 2(?) choices. and there are a few possible choices where not choosing the hand option will still let you proceed

the rest of this got kinda rambly also with vid/images so i've put it behind a cut (what's wrong with me)

LOL i wouldn't say this game was directly inspired by that specific art piece, moreso that that place in the game is just really inspiring to me because it's so beautiful, so it fills me with all sorts of soft feels (and ideas) and also just gives me a sense of calm. it's also why i have so many shots of it in the music video LKDJFALSKD i think i've spent literal hours there i have so much footage there of just clips like this:

so it was more just me wanting to do something soft and sweet so my mind immediately went back to this place

re: the glowing palm scar LKDJFALKSDFA THAT'S...

ok so. mmm. the scar itself in-game is essentially a symbol of his connection to the arisen (iggy). it glows every time he gets summoned from a rift stone and is reunited with iggy... i think it might possibly glow at other (canon) times though it's hard to tell because until recently genzou's outfit always had gloves and/or he's often holding a weapon in his right hand (so i can't tell for instance if it glows when he's revived...)

on the left is the best shot i've gotten of it when not glowing. on the right is the only good shot i can get of it glowing because for this cutscene the game removes his glove lol... now that i have him in the new outfit with half his hand showing though i'd like to see if i can get a good shot of him being resummoned to see if i can see the glow. i need to try pausing and zooming in because i only have this faraway shot:

however for him to be resummoned it means he needs to die and that hurts my heart (and makes his affection go down LKDJFLADS) so i don't like doing it (but i would do it for science...)

ANYWAY. there isn't any actual explanation or lore given for it in-game besides being shown it and knowing that all pawns have this scar and it's their symbol. but ofc like so many things about this game, my head ran away with me and started coming up with many of my own head canons about the scar. mostly that i have decided it reacts to like... their connection in general. strong emotional responses between them (like when they kiss... ldkfajsldkfa). a literal symbol of genzou's internal psyche in relation to iggy and it'll flare up sometimes as a strong reaction to something about iggy, etc. i like to think that genzou gets embarrassed by it because it'll flare up if he's feeling particularly strongly LOL

i-it's just very precious to me... i think it's very sweet and cute and i love it very much...💦

I'M SORRY FOR RAMBLING I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM AND THESE SILLY HEAD CANONS LKDJFALSKDF

[disapoimeq]

HIIII JULIUS CESAR FROM CLONE HIGH!!! ( For me you are him, don't try to convince me otherwise ) /j /pos

Here are two questions to make you think ( I know, thinking sucks/hj ):

Can you list your most favorite/likeable Clone High ships? (if you can, from the most favorite to the least favorite)

Andddd!

You can list your most hated/hateable Clone High ships? (from most hated to least hated )

And if you could give a brief explanation or/and a rating from 1 to 10

Questions asked for...plot reasons/j

I hope I'm not bothering you!

Have a great week 😇

Hello!! THANK YOUU for asking! and yes, i am Julius Caesar (real) and I am thinking thinking so hard rn!!! This is pretty lengthy post!

I don't really have any ships I dislike, so

heres some ships I ranked from fav to least fav and how I personally prefer them!

(BTW! With platonic i mean like, friendly dynamic)

Julius + Jesús (romantic, platonic)

Vincent + Julius (romantic, platonic)

Jesús + Vincent (romantic, platonic)

Frida + Cleo (romantic)

Joan + Harriet (romantic)

Joan + Abe (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Confucius (platonic)

Abe + JFK (platonic)

Frida + Harriet (platonic)

Confucius + Harriet (romantic, platonic)

Abe + Frida (PLATONIC!!)

Jackée + Lizzie (romantic)

Carver + Sacagawea (romantic)

Catherine + Julius (platonic)

Ivan + Catherine (romantic)

Joan + JFK (platonic)

Marie Antoinette + Vlad (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Cleo (platonic)

Abe + Gandhi (platonic)

Topher + Ivan (platonic)

Topher + Vincent (platonic)

Confucius + JFK (platonic)

JFK + Ponce (platonic)

Additionally, and unrelated to my ranking, heres some ratings and reviews haha

Julius + Jesús 9/10

I LOVE THESE TWO like they make me laugh sm I like to think they're childhood bestfriends, and y'know. Sometimes you just gotta kiss the homies 😎

Julius + Vincent 8/10

These two are nice too, it's mainly a comfort ship cause of me self projecting lol 😭

Jesús + Vincent 8/10

Almost the same exact opinion I have with the last one!

Frida + Cleo 9/10

OH MY GOD THAT ONE S3 EP LEFT ME HEART BROKEN, but! I am very very much glad they're on atleast good terms

Joan + Harriet 8/10

They're cute honestly, I liked the cheerleading episode a lot. and despite conflicts they have they seem to find a way to relate to eachother

Joan + Abe 8/10

OKAYY OKAY I KNOWW... this ship gets a lot of hate, and for an understandable reason , honestly. I don't blame anyone for not liking it but I personally don't mind it that much, they have their cute moments over all I do agree the writing could be better

Joan + Confucius 7/10

I was honestly hesitant with them at first when I saw the s3 trailer, but they grew on me!! They were cute. I personally think the dynamic worked pretty well too

Abe + JFK 7/10

They're alright, scenes with them are funny and I love that they ended up as buddies

Confucius + Harriet 6/10

Though there are some issues with their relationship, I found them pretty cute in s2 but I lost interest quick

Abe + Frida 10/10

CUTEST!! THEY'RE LIKE SIBLINGS TO ME!!!

Joan + JFK 6/10

I get how people can say there's not really much chemisty with them, they can be cute but I feel like I like them better off as pals now after what happened in s2

Catherine + Julius 7/10

They're like more seen together in s1?? Regardless if they were ever a couple or not, I like to think they separated on good terms/are friends!

Joan + Cleo 6/10

They're alright, I like the ship art, and I liked them getting along from time to time

Confucius + JFK 7/10

I'm kinda sad they didn't get much screentime together in s3 unlike in s2, but they're nice they were funny

anyways this all doesn't matter, the best clone high ship has been and will always be julius x a new haircut/j

for other ships, that I didn't explain or mention, they're also cool as long as its not weird LMFAO ship whoever you want and ty again!! 😁👍

[tippett-in-a-robe]

Ok senario I've been rereading it turned good au lately and....

Ok so what if a child were to live with them

Maybe they have a shinning and like the others and don't find them scarry how would everyone react?

(btw you're art is looking gorgeous as per usual and I love matruins design!)

@xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat

Hello!^^ 👋 I am so sorry I didn’t see this earlier! 😭😭😭

.

OMG I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCH! 😭❤️❤️❤️

And I have actually thought about what could happen if Penny and/or his friends were to come across some lonely shining child who needed some joy in their life! XD

If a child were to live with them, it would probably start out like this:

Penny would most likely be the one to find the child since he’s the only one who lives part-time on Earth. Said child (whatever age, gender, situation, etc. they may be), would obviously be more aware than other kids since they got the shining powers, and that is what would catch Penny’s attention.

In my AU, Penny is not a child-eater! XD (He still eats people, but only the ones who deserve it lol). So, he really would not ever have eating the child on his mind. He would simply observe the kid for a few years possibly, and try to refrain from helping the child out through hard times. Penny doesn’t usually “help” humans out, so being a sort of guardian Angel to the kid would not have been on his agenda… not at first, at least.

But, over a period of time, he would start to become intrigued by the kid. He would start to “help out” here and there by scaring off some bullies, killing off any intruding creatures who may feed on shining kids, or invisibly make sure they don’t fall when they trip over something.

The kid would start to suspect greater forces at play, and could sense them. Eventually the kid would become sure they were being observed, especially after they would swear they saw a clown’s face staring at them through the sewer drain. The kid would not have been afraid though, and that actually would intrigue Penny even more.

I don’t wanna make this post too long, but let’s just say that Penny eventually decides to talk face-to-face with them and eventually makes good friends with them. Penny almost becomes a parental figure to them, and would probably start to doubt himself a lot. Though, he ultimately would decide to truly “take the kid in,” and that doesn’t mean to live in the cavern under the sewers. It means “to the Dark Tower.”

Penny: “Hey, Bessa! Say, what would y’all say if I kinda just… brought a shinin’ kid here to live with us?”

Bessa: “What’s behind you, Penny?”

Penny: “…”

Bessa: “Penny, what’s behind you?!”

Penny: “… I think you know.”

His friends would obviously need major explanations, and probably wouldn’t be all that willing to take care of a mortal child. Eventually though, they will see that Penny has finally gained some sort of friendship with this kid, and they will eventually warm up to the idea as well.

Soon, they all consider themselves the guardians of the kid. Gan and Bessa would probably be like the parental figures, Maturin would be the soft and kind uncle who has life lessons for days, and Penny would be the chaotic, fun Uncle/older sibling who would let them curse! XD

.

Thank you, @xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat for the ask! This was seriously a whole lot of fun to come up with ideas for!^^ And I am so glad that you enjoy my art and designs, it means a whole lot for me to hear! 😭❤️❤️❤️

I hope you have an amazing day, and thanks again!^^ 👋❤️

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! [btw if you know my irl name, not here you don't unless we're DM-ing]

gender is so weird and I'm okay with any and all pronouns (barring it/its)!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, form what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

~

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

merlin (bbc): im watchin s2 rn(August 2024)! i finally decided to pick this up again and properly watch it! esp since i really wanna read The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg & And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly and i can't do that if i watched the show lmao

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of September 2024 I've started s4 and all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

DC (the bats, mostly)

windbreaker (satoru nii): im constantly reading the new manga chapters as they come out so beware spoilers! the anime is really cool too<33 talk to me about my children (sakura, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

criminal minds: (im at early s14 as of July 2024, so mind your spoilers humans)

jujutsu kaisen! (I'm just about to finish s2 as of April 2024 but I know what's happening by the end of s2 and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox:] )

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (well imma write it with a friend but like most importantly WITHOUT MAPPA and I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived interest of mine (im pretty much up to date with the manga, just haven't read the light novels)

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

there's like. so much more

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

ice adolescence-esque fic: mappa fucked up majorly with canceling iceado and im supremely annoyed, mad, and upset. it just so happens that I was in the middle of my yoi renaissance era when the news came out so with my obsession going strong, I really wanted to try doing something with iceado. and then @athenov got roped in a la "be my coach co-conspirator/co-writer, viktor(ia)!". this is not going to be a very linear story, we're going around and about in different points in time. the first narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, we had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov. this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is very interesting and some russians are wonderful people —diversity is a thing, after all— but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane. [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee & athenov's yoi fic"!]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive (while privately having a panic attack) and we're not gonna get anywhere. Not that I can't get aggressive sometimes when I'm annoyed/offended or sth, like I'm not perfect but this is a general rule of a thumb yknow. Try not to be aggressive. or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Moreover, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

if you support AI art or AIs stealing fic content (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first)

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[crown-jay]

Hello!

I am someone who thinks they also might be a Median System. Your posts about you figuring this out are super helpful and relatable! I also felt the same click when I found the term median system where I was like “That’s it.. that’s me..” I also had the same experience of discovering what DID was in 2018 and being like “Am I??? NAhhhh… right???” up until this year when I started really swinging the opposite way of “Oh no this is a thing I am somewhere in this group” I'm trying to relate my experiences to others to see if I'm on the right path to figuring this all out.

Tell me if these are relatable or not:

I also feel comfier with plural first pronouns, I've always felt like it's me and my brain (where the now discovered "others" live) and together we are a "we".

Another way I kinda described it to myself was feeling like a system that never fully fractured.

Or that it was the way people describe masking but at an extreme where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. 

Or what I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask. 

For me sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face.

If these are not relatable at all please let me know and be honest.

Some questions:

Do you have amnesia?

You said that you can’t tell someone has been fronting till after. What tells you that someone was fronting?

No pressure to respond or answer any of these btw. Bottom line: Thank you for sharing your process through all this it has been very helpful comparing experiences.

Hi, thanks for reaching out! Sorry for the delayed response, we had a small crisis and went back in denial but we're good now.

We're much more comfortable with plural first person pronouns, though we're still getting used to using them online, sort of testing the waters at the moment. We agree with the "me and my brain" sentiment. It's like there was always something there but we just couldn't figure out what it was. Turns out, there was something, and that something was other people lol

Our system is definately less fractured then others. Our switches are smoother and we're less distinct from each other.

We mask a lot. Although we have a hard time figuring out what is masking and what is the host fronting, as a lot of the time we mask to copy the host. So maybe we're not actually that similar, we just mask a lot. We assume time will tell.

More often than not, our reflection doesn't reflect (hehe) our inner appearance. It can be quite jarring at times, especially for Orym, since he is a cis man in an AFAB body.

In answer to your questions:

No? But also, kind of? We don't experience amnesia in the sense that we blackout and can't remember what other alters have done while we're not fronting. We remember that but it's like we remember it from a different perspective. Like we witnessed fronting instead of experiencing it (unless, of course, we were the one fronting at that time) that's the best explanation we've come to. We tend to have emotional amnesia when looking back on times we weren't fronting, unless we were close to the front. For example if I (Sawyer) was fronting and experienced an angering experience, Orym would remember the experience, but wouldn't remember how exactly I was feeling. He might feel anger about it, but he won't remember or feel my anger. Not sure if that makes sense.

We've gotten better at knowing who's fronting. Usually we use process of elimination. While our alters are quite similar, they still have their differences, even if they're little things. Not masking a lot? Probably Bastian, since it doesn't mask as much as the rest of us. They also don't talk much. More soft spoken? Probably Orym. Generally less dysphoric? That's Ajax. Et cetera. I think that's a good tip, especially for median systems. If you find that alters are sometimes too similar to differentiate them effectively, find their small differences, ones that generally only correspond to one of them. You can then look for those when determining who is fronting, co-fronting, co-con, etc.

If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask! In fact, answering these made us realise things about ourselves which helped us understand our system better! So that's pretty cool.

[dragondemoness]

Alright so Just how like Kokona Is, S/O is forced to relive a week of being murdered in countless of horrible ways.

If you've ever seen happy death day, it's kinda like that. Now because I don't want the V3 characters to die, it can be that someone killed the person killing S/O everyday to stop it, but if you wanna add anything, please do. Hopefully this is a good explanation lol

Finally, I got to this! So sorry for making you wait!

I have seen Happy Death Day, so it made writing this much easier (great movie btw)

I wasn't sure what characters you wanted me to do, or if you wanted the full cast, so I just chose five characters. Hope you enjoy!

Shuichi, Kaito, Gonta, Maki, and Tenko with an S/O Going Through a Deadly Time Loop (Happy Death Day/Yandere Simulator) 

Shuichi Saihara 

He could guess what was going on before you told him

The way you acted when you woke up, and the way you limped around because of the wounds in your legs

And when he touched you in certain spots, you would flinch away because of the pain

He was concerned, and he asked you about it as soon as he found enough evidence to approach you with

You were scared to tell him, because maybe he wouldn't believe you

But there wasn't a point in hiding it from him, and he kind of knew anyway, so you told him what was going on

Shuichi is absolutely horrified

So someone clearly has it out for you, and you have to suffer horrible deaths every day because of it

He is determined to get to the bottom of it

He has you stay with him at all times

Every time he left you alone, you died and woke back up

He's not taking risks anymore

He interviewed all your classmates, gauging their opinions of you

Then he carefully watched their interactions with you

He found out who was doing this to you pretty quickly

So he immediately got them arrested, and the killing cycle came to an end

The night the killer was arrested, he burst into tears and held you tight to him

The whole ordeal was horrifying for him, too

And even though it was over, you definitely have trauma from it

Every night, he's cuddling with you and comforting you from any nightmares you may have

Always there to assure you that you're not in the same time loop, and that life has returned to normal

The situation was awful, but you have a sweet detective boy right by your side to help you recover

Kaito Momota 

He had no idea what was happening for a good minute

But he had a feeling something was wrong

You woke up scared every morning, you flinched away from his touches, and you looked so anxious as you went about your day

He was really concerned

But it was difficult to tell him, because you were worried he either wouldn't believe you, or just wouldn't get it

But he knew something was wrong, so you had to try

When you told him, he kinda just blinked

He wasn't sure what you meant at first

But when you explained it in greater detail, he grew shocked and very anxious

And also kinda pissed that someone would do this to you

So he asked Shuichi to help you out, which he immediately agreed to

Kaito doesn't trust anyone to be near you, and he wants you with him at all times

If anyone seems even remotely threatening, he'll demand that they leave you alone

When Shuichi discovers the culprit, Kaito socks them in the face

You and Shuichi have to hold him back from punching their lights out

The killer gets arrested, and Kaito pulls you close to him, relieved that it was over

But that didn't stop the nightmares you had

He's always there to soothe you, and assure you that it was all over

Gonta Gokuhara 

He was also oblivious to what was going on

But he did notice the way you were acting

You woke up anxious and afraid in the mornings, and you brushed off his concerns and tried to go about your day

But throughout the day, you still looked stiff and anxious

You even flinched away when he tried to touch you

Poor boy was worried he hurt you

Now he was definitely sure something was wrong

And you were hesitant to tell him because you knew he would be horrified

But you couldn't stand this any longer, and you didn't want to leave him in the dark anymore

When you told him, he literally teared up

He believed every word, and he immediately grabbed you and enveloped you in a hug

Then he went to Shuichi and begged him for help

He doesn't want to leave you alone anymore

He has his arms around you pretty much every minute

When Shuichi discovers the culprit, Gonta is sad that one of his classmates, his friends, would do such a cruel thing

When the culprit is arrested, and you two are alone, he tightly wraps his arms around you while crying

Poor boy was so scared

He holds you tightly every night, for himself and for you

He'll calm your nightmares, and it's comforting to know you're there

Maki Harukawa 

She noticed your odd behavior immediately

No matter how much you tried to hide it, she noticed how anxious you were all day

And when she tried to wrap an arm around your waist, you flinched and scooted away from her, which worried her

She confronted you immediately, and you were afraid of telling her for a number of reasons

Not only would she probably not believe you, she might even think you were stupid

She noticed your anxiety and softened, telling you that she wouldn't judge you

And so, you told her what you had been going through 

At first, she asked if you were sure it wasn't just a nightmare, then you found an x-ray and showed her the wounds you attained

Now she was shocked, and pretty pissed

She wanted to know who was doing this so she could slice their head off

She approached Shuichi and basically demanded that he help

When he found out, you and him have to hold Maki back from doing something... not good

When the culprit is arrested, and you're alone, she immediately hugs you, mindful of your injuries

She doesn't like to say it, but she was terrified

She just wants to go to bed and leave the whole mess behind you

She'll soothe your nightmares and hold you every night

She'll be way more protective of you after this

Tenko Chabashira

She was also a little oblivious 

She didn't figure out something was wrong until the fifth day

By then, you were acting very strange

You were more anxious than ever, you walked like you were in pain, and you rejected all of her touches

And so, she asked you about it

You were hesitant, but you knew you needed help

When you tell her, she's terrified

She feels stupid for not noticing something was wrong sooner

Naturally, she's sure that a degenerate male is behind this

She doesn't even trust Shuichi to help you, but begrudgingly asks him at your urging

As Shuichi interviews everyone, Tenko holds you tightly, not trusting anyone

Not even the girls

And when Shuichi finds the culprit...

If they're a male, you'll have to hold her back, but not before she gets a couple of good hits in

If they're a female, she'll give them a piece of her mind

She was damn close to slapping a girl

After the whole ordeal was over, she grabbed you and clung onto you for the rest of the night, and so forth

She's there to soothe you at night, and she holds you the whole time

For your comfort, and her own

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I was reading a fanfic and it brought up Roy and Dick's fight, which I see a lot of in fics but never what they fought about and consequently why they don't talk. I thought it was a vague excuse/reason why Roy was Jason's friend not Dick's anymore but this fic brought up when Dick was batman so I was wondering if there was actually a fight between them? Btw I really enjoy your metas! They're v thought out and well articulated. Also it's v easy to separate what's your opinion and what's fact which is. Very helpful for me

Yeah this is one hundred percent a fanon thing that's kept deliberately vague to justify why Roy in his friendship with Jason seems to have no positive thoughts or concerns about Dick whatsoever. Now granted, Dick and Roy are not nearly as close in the New 52 as they were pre-Reboot. The lack of their friendship there is definitely one of the things I disliked most about the Reboot - and I actually don't care if Jason and Roy are friends tbh, its the total erasure of his history with Dick as if he can't be friends with both, that like, bugs most.

But so like, yeah, Roy and Dick aren't super close when they interact on the Titans in the New 52, but there's literally nothing in any of their interactions that explains the complete absence of him from Roy's life or a reason that Roy would like, hate him the way he tends to in a lot of Jason-centric fics.

When you factor in pre-Reboot stuff though, it starts to get a LOT more.....uh wyd? And this is why I have trouble buying that people just write Roy and Jason the way they do because its the only thing they know from recent comics. Like one, most fans talk about how they don't even read the source comics, so there's no reason their knowledge of the characters or events would be limited to just recent comics if they're going off wiki summaries and scans anyway. And second, most fans AREN'T limited in their knowledge to just recent comics.

Like, the second people start writing Roy and Jason and Kori but with their pre-52 characterizations and references to events from THAT timeline, it all gets very messy, the way they're like, completely antagonistic towards Dick a lot of the time. Because Roy and Dick were always solid. Yes, they fought. A lot. But they always, ALWAYS made up afterwards. They had conflict about Roy's drug addiction - it didn't stop Dick from being there to support him through rehab, or Dick being the first person Roy called to help him get Lian after he learned of her existence. Dick literally held Lian before Roy ever did? He's the one who first put her in Roy's arms for the first time.

(Which is the prime grudge I and most Dick Grayson fans have about Roy and Jason fics which make Jason like, the absolute apple of Lian's eye. If you want to expand Lian's circle of loved and trusted ones to include Jason as Roy's friend and thus her uncle, like go for it! But there's zero reason that should require invalidating and erasing the fact that Dick was this little girl's adored godfather and uncle for pretty much her entire life. And the way Dick is just shoved offstage from Lian's life entirely, to slot Jason into his place as though they're completely interchangeable, its like....THAT'S the kind of thing that gets people irey about how Jason 'steals' Dick's dynamics and character relationships.

Because there's nothing saying they both can't be major players in Roy and Lian's lives! But just that they're not interchangeable! You need to develop the specific role Jason plays there WITHOUT just overwriting everything Dick actually did in relation to the two of them pre-Flashpoint, which is what you're drawing from the second you write Lian, unless you're specifically going with the few appearances we've had of her within literally just the last year.

But I mean, when people just search and replace Dick Grayson in all Roy and Lian's pre-Reboot stories and act like Jason was the one doing all of that instead.....why wouldn't fans of the source material be annoyed by a character getting credit for interactions and things done for Lian and Roy that Jason literally NEVER DID, while at the EXACT SAME TIME, conjuring some mysterious, unnamed 'Falling Out' that Roy and Dick had, that was clearly all Dick's fault, and resulted from him being basically excised entirely from Roy and Lian's lives?

Same with Kori, for the record, and like despite being Dick's ex, she and Dick have NEVER been like, estranged? She and Dick have often been close even after their breakup. None of it makes any sense, and the fact that a lot of fans don't even try to make it make sense or justify it, and expect other fans to just be fine with settling for an inexplicable reversal of Dick's every actual dynamic with these characters while setting up Jason to occupy the exact same role Dick played in these other characters' lives, like.....lol. Its fun.)

Anyway, back to your question, like, there are fights you can go with pre-Reboot as the source of various conflicts between Dick and Roy - but again, I maintain its just as crucial that they're always written as getting past them. They have a very tempestuous relationship because they are the two people MOST likely to call each other on their shit, two of the two people WITH the most shit in common due to the parallels in their childhoods and the roles they've occupied in the Titans and the superhero community in general, and the two people most resistant to being called out on their shit by each other, lol. Mostly in that case because like, they do recognize that they have a lot in common and understand each other very well, so the second the other is calling them out for something, they're usually like "ugh, if HE'S saying this, its probably true and I am just not prepared yet to be wrong about this. I need more time being unjustifiably rawr about things." Its like that thing where they both look at each other doing something that feels familiar or calls back to their own reasons for doing something and they're like ugh I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

So they clash. A lot. But always with the implicit bedrock of like, there's nothing either of them can do or say to the other that will push the other away for good.

They fought over Roy replacing Dick as leader of the Titans when Dick's wedding fell apart, even though Roy actually didn't want to do it and was kinda pushed into it by the government, but again, Dick like, got over it and realized it was for the best and forgave Roy for it that very same issue. And on and on. It always went like that. So there's plenty of stuff that can be used or pointed at as a source of conflict between the two, but the part I'll always call unbelievable is the idea that they never make up after one of these fights. Why now? What fight, specifically, is so bad between them that despite everything else they've gone through AND gotten past, they can't get past this one? Y'know?

So yeah, that's my take on this. There is no definitive falling out between Dick and Roy as many fics like to point to in order to shove him offscreen and make room for Jason in Roy and Lian's lives, and personally, I just don't find it necessary and I actually think it makes Roy look REALLY bad. Because when you're not specifically detailing all the things that Dick has actually DONE for Roy, the lengths to which he's been there for his friend, and like, specifically invalidating each and every one of them as something that never happened in a particular fic, then literally anyone who reads that fic and has their own awareness of Dick and Roy's friendship is kiiiiiinda likely to be reading that and thinking wow what an ungrateful asshole, when Roy's just written as bitching about Dick with Jason and sandbagging him without any real explanation as to WHY, beyond just 'oh they had a fight years ago.'

(And coming up with some random awful thing that Dick did to justify Roy hating him now isn't like, a superior alternative, lmao, because again, its still just trashing one character for the sake of getting him out of the way of two other characters' friendship and people are going to think what they think about that).

Anyway, my now standard stock disclaimer that like, there doesn't actually need to be a canon fight obviously, for people to just write things this way and handwave that Dick and Roy had an epic falling out years ago and now they just hate one another or whatever, or just Roy hates him or vice versa. Obviously people are free to do what they want. They don't need a reason other than "I want to write it this way so Jason and Roy are friends and Jason doesn't have to 'share' him with Dick or have his friendship be overshadowed by their greater history together." That just happens to be a reason that no Dick Grayson fan is ever really going to be happy about, lol, for what should be perfectly obvious reasons, so it honestly shouldn't be surprising to people that fans of the source material often gripe about it.

Because yeah fanfic is a tremendous opportunity to transform the source material into something better, but if what's better for some fans actively takes away what was working perfectly well for other fans the original way, they're going to say that. Especially in a fandom where so many new fans take their view of the characters and their dynamics from fics rather than the source material - when fandom has that much of an influence on what new fans perceive to be 'canon,' fans are perfectly within their right to emphasize what is ACTUALLY canon and what isn't, so that new fans at least have the opportunity to determine for themselves what take they want to go with, instead of just accepting at face value that the nature of say, Dick and Roy's relationship is just that Roy hates Dick because of some mumble mumble ancient history vague mumble details not found mumble mumble fight.

[yourbestdream]

Ok so yesterday I got this vague idea for a toh au then my adhd brain got custody of it and it. Spiraled out of control I'll just say. So I'm gonna infodump abt it below the cut. Sorry in advance lmao (it's really long i'm so sorry mutuals)

So I originally got this idea because I watched Encanto recently (loved it btw) and I thought "oh haha mirabel and hunter are kinda similar, since they're both non-magical people surrounded by people with powers" which then led to me thinking "hey what if instead of witches in the BI being born with magic they were given powers by the titan when they reach a certain age" and then I thought about it more and it became this beast so. Here we are lmao. I'm gonna try to explain it the best I can but sorry if it makes no sense lol

So to start I'm just gonna provide the full backstory/explanation for what's goin on in this au. So first off, like I said before, witches in the BI aren't born with magic, but are gifted it by the Titan when they're about 6 years old. For most of the BI's history, witches were given every type of magic, but in the present witches only receive one type of magic, aka the precursor to the covens. This is because (and bear with me I'm just making shit up here) the Savage Ages were basically akin to the immediate aftermath of the French Revolution, so the government was collapsed and everyone was killing each other. In response, the Titan stopped giving witches magic, which caused everyone to freak the hell out and desperately looking for a way to appease the Titan so that magic wouldn't eventually die out completely. Eventually, Belos gains enough of a following to become the emperor and basically reforms BI society as a whole, which leads to the Titan giving witches magic again. Except this time, instead of receiving all types of magic, every witch only receives the ability to perform one type of magic, which leads to the formation of the covens. So in this universe the covens don't restrict magic necessarily, they just sort people into groups based on what powers they have. Also I wanna state here that Belos is NOT a good person in this au, he's just marginally less awful than canon Belos, but he's still a dictator/abusive asshole to his employees.

So anyway, from there a tradition is formed where every year every child of the appropriate age participates in a huge ceremony/ritual where they're given their magic. So for a few decades, everything goes pretty smoothly, until two things happen: one, some witches start receiving two types of magic, and two, Eda receives every type of magic in her ceremony, which I'll talk about in more detail below.

So when it's Eda's turn at the ceremony for that year, she becomes the first person since the Savage Ages to receive every type of magic. Because of this, Belos obviously wants her in his coven, so she begins training with the Emperor's Coven immediately after her ceremony, and later uses her position to get Lilith special training as well, since being in the coven is Lilith's dream and all. Also probably shoulda mentioned that since Lilith only has one kind of magic like everyone else, this contributes to their mom's unintentional favoritism of Eda and fuels Lilith's jealousy even more. Eda never gets cursed, but their relationship becomes more strained as they get older, with Lilith working harder and harder and Eda still surpassing her every time.

Eventually, Eda decides that the government is fumb and she doesn't want to be a cop, so she runs from the coven and becomes the Owl Lady like in canon. Lilith stays and eventually becomes the head of the coven like in canon, and makes it her mission to capture Eda so she can join the coven and "stop wasting her gift."

That's all ove really got for Eda rn so now let's talk about Hunter babey! So Hunter in this au is just some random orphan lmao, and during his ceremony, he becomes the only person since the Savage Ages to not receive any magic whatsoever. Fun times:). So Belos notices this and thinks "damn that's weird, I should take this kid in and see what the Titan has planned for him", so Hunter becomes the Golden Guard like canon, but is treated more like an experiment by Belos than anything else, so their relationship is a lil more complicated.

Anyway that's the basic idea lmao, I doubt anyone will see/care about this but I'm gonna tag everything anyway bc I am at my core an attention seeker tbh

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of,��“why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[lovee-infected]

twisted wonderland theories part 3 : Opening explanation and parallels

Well well , hope you guys enjoyed reading the previous two parts of twst theories so far

Anyways , this is the third part . I decided to go through the opening and original disney animations and also black Butler anime references one more time so this is the combination of all I've found this time , together with some stuff you might've missed

Twst's official opening was pretty mysterious and is most likely giving us hints of the upcoming adventures during the storyline . Well here's the link to opening with eng sub and also the summary of the main character references that were given to us:

1) Ace and Deuce's rivalship : We talked about this one a lot back in (part 2) so let's skip this one

2) Leona's sadness and pain : Leona's tearn falling to the ground and the Ruggie and Jack coming for him ; that's just how he always is : mentally sad and broken with a horribly frustrating past , but will avoid expressing himself and letting anyone see his pain anyway . Not really weird that these two are always around him , Leona does really need to be looked after ...

3) Azul's seek of power : He just looked...mad in this scene . Ursula's shadow on his fave and that creepy smile totally freaks anyone out. It really explains how great his desire of power is . His neglected self in the childhood and pretty poor talent got him to this point...

4) Jamil's cold and kinda confused self : Well this one isn't really clear yet since ch 4 isn't out . But perhaps depression has this guy... spending his whole life serving the the nasty Kalim he might've grown the same characteristics as Jafar , who was so long sick of being the second one in everything . But still his ideal of life is much different from Jafar's . We saw him hypnotizing Kalim in order to make him force students to do better at school . He's trying his best to leave up to his promises as the vice dorm leader but still , having the nasty Kalim as the dorm itself is making it a lot harder for him so he's got no choice but to hypnotize him...

5) Idia's severe anxiety and his protectiveness toward Ortho : This one was mentioned in s rather old re blog but here e go again : Well with how the rumors of the "cursed Shroud family" , Idia's anti-society self might be a bit explained . This guy's overblot is surely going to be EPIC ... we just know very few about him and yet that's more than enough for him to overblot at once . Also the mention of the process of bringing Ortho back to life was a bad hit...His family curse might've been the reason of whatever thst has happened to Ortho

6) Vil's anger of not being the fairest and breaking the mirror: This one's been pointed out a lot . His anger being the same as evil queen's and also the fear of him actually poisoning someone to become the fairest one more time....**

7) Malleus' isolated self and his hidden evil aura : This one's being shown too obviously . The lonely dark prince exposing his evil side under the full moonlight . All alone , beyond the forest of thorns (Lol how ironic) while the others are running to save him before it gets too late...***

(note : **,***: Vil and Malleus' description will be continued undercut)

Very well these were the general hints found on the opening , but don't miss the final seconds which included the biggest hidden facts you could've missed

Firstly , the splitted ink (This one was previously discussed on part 1 but still...) : We talked about how in the "Epic Mickey", Mickey accidentally splits the magic ink over the kingdom and which led to the creation of "shadow blot". This sight seems to be much similar to what we had here in the epic mickey

Well this parallel might be more than just an accidental one and finally and it might actually be that overblot is kinda Crowley's fault , too

Crowley crosses the mirror , turns into an actual crow and flies away...(DaMn YoU bIrDiE wHERe ArE yOu gOinG I'M noT doNe YeT-)

Well the reason he suddenly runs away isn't clear yet but being a fan of black butler for years , I was suddenly reminded of how Undertaker disappeared all of a sudden at this scene from the movie :" Book of Atlantic "

pretty similar , aren't they..?

In Book of Atlantic , Undertaker revealed his original identity as a reaper and the mastermind behind the "Bizzare dolls' " project after pretending to be a just a crazy cookie lover for so long . And at once , he comes up with his stunning sudden self-reveal , leaving everyone in the room speechless

Now now , what do we have with Crowley?

A principal who keeps hiding his face (remember that Undertaker hid his eyes , too?) , telling everyone "how kind he is" many times ... also:

1) In the opening , he was standing smiling in the mirror hall while the seven dorms were burning through seven mirrors

2) He didn't ever try to stop anyone from overbloting ; even Riddle whose overblot occurred right in front of him

3) In the beggining of the game, he asked the mirror to choose the right one and then! and MC was chosen ! MC took the hand of the one appearing through the mirror (seemingly Dire Crowley) and came here. With all said , so why did the mirror reject MC afterwards?

Also , how couldn't he help MC return to Their own world and didn't know about it if he himself brought MC here..?(Could it be that...MC doesn't remember how she/he was brought here?)

4) If he literally is THIS useless and can't ever stop or help anything, then why would he be the principal.....?

Sooooo enough with Crowley ; but what's with these two....?

The spindle wheel & the poison apple ; Sleeping beauty and Snow white

Well it seems that Diasomnia and Pomefiore are going to play a greatly important role in the storyline . We were kinda sure of Diasomnia's but Pomefiore's...? What's so special with it?

(A few hours earlier)

(Me : Hmmm ... the black mirror...where have I seen this before..? *googling - searching Snow White- going to the magic mirror scene* Me : Uh...)

Well... here it is : The Crowley's beloved flower of evil , back at his days with evil queen

feeling old yet ...?

Btw , just how important is being "the fairest one of all "to him ? How 'far' would he go to be the fairest...? With the bitten apple in the last few seconds of opening , it most likely seems that he IS gonna 'kill' to be the fairest again ...Who would he kill ? We don't know . But how about our pretty small guy Epel? Could it be him ? The stubborn freshman who refuses following Vil around and is usually mistaken with a girl......?

Also , why would the original mirror be so important to Crowley? If Vil's supposed to represent evil queen , why isn't 'he' the one owing the mirror...?

And now , the spindle wheel .Great maleficent's legacy , in the hands of Crowley...Well well this is 'too' much . Malleus' family treasure being kept hidden in NRC... pathetic

Also , the mirror which Vil broke in the opening . Well well seems like he isn't having the original magic mirror , afterall....

But wait , if there's the spindle wheel , who's gonna be the evil witch to pull the sweet princess to eternal sleep..? Right , there's only one who might be...

Well we talked about all we'd got so far , but what about Grim ? Isn't anyone going to mention his importance or why he was also mentioned in this chaotic final seconds of opening ???

So... this is what we had in the final seconds :

1)The apple

2) Crowley

3)The black ink

4)Grim

5)The spindle wheel

We talked about all of them except nu 4 . But before that , I've got the same question as before : Why is it "Sleeping beauty" & "Snow white"..?

We discussed the "overblot Grim " hints in (part 2), but here's another thing :

Very well , ever heard of "Grimm brothers"...?

In the case that you don't know who they are , here' the point : They are the authors of 'original' versions of sleeping beauty & snow white; two of the darkest , deepest and possibly creepiest stories of their own throughout the history

I believe that most of you are familiar with the original versions , but you may like to take a look at these two if you haven't yet heard of them check the two of these stories out : (note: I'm aware that there are darker , deeper versions of these too but I'm not gonna mention any of them because : 1)They aren't written by Grimm brothers & 2) They include overly sensual and inappropriate content which has no place in my posts . If you care to know about them , check them at your own risk)

Alright , if you ever wondered who was Grim named after , I guess we've got it now . Mentioning Grim , Snow white and Sleeping beauty together at once is too direct to be a coincidence ...but it's also terrifying ...

Thinking that Disney is actually referring to the original books written by Grimm brothers is a bit too dark... Original stories are really horrible and a great way to ruin one's childhood , but all these hints fit each other way too great and now , they may no longer be just a coincidence...

[scuttle-buttle]

So yesterday I came from work and went to sleep immediately because I have to go to work very early on fridays, so when I wake up and see this "Anon, come rub my head and play with my hair and I'll melt." I was like okay we're going somewhere

But then this happens: "I have so many questions. Except they're all just why." And then i read the tags and I...

look Bee, I never meant to be a burden or annoy you. I guess you come to this place for fun and I don't want to be a cause for anxiety or something. I didn't mean to make you suspicious of your friends (who are scary btw) but I guess they're being overprotective. which shows me once again how sweet you must be to have these people around acting like this for you. So... I'll called quits, don't worry about giving me an answer, you don't owe me any explanation. And you are not a bitch if you are not having any of this maybe it was selfish of me to put yourself in the middle of something that you did not ask for just because I feel a certain way towards you

🔥 sorry

Oh my god no no that post was not about you at all! Sometimes I shitpost about my personal problems outside of Tumblr and I don't always give full context because it's just my rambles. I mean yes i definitely have so many questions when it comes to you specifically, but I can promise that post wasn't about you at all. I totally see where you got that impression tho and for that I am so sorry!

You haven't actually done anything that's made me legitimately uncomfortable. I'm just a really awkward person because I have no idea how to actually react to stuff like this? Like when I say I'm weird and awkward I honest to God mean it. People don't like me aside from friendship ever, and the few times they have even with them (including people I've dated irl) I don't know how to accept compliments and things of that nature. I clam up and get weird. Or I divert the subject because I never know what to say. I have a lot of issues. You're messages have been fun if not completely mind boggling (again, mostly due to my issues) and I've found myself actually kinda looking forward to getting them I guess? Maybe youre turning me into an attention whore lol. But of course I can't actually promise literally anything when it comes to this thing we've got. I'm not one for dating and stuff tbh.

And im not like suspicious of my friends in a bad way, but like a "is it this person but maybe they're just too afraid to admit it" kind of way. And I tell them my worries of me and my issues and trauma with these types of things which is why they are defensive in a way. I always give them advice on stuff so now that the tables are flipped they are trying to do the same.

[mrpenguinpants]

hello deaaaar. All of your xiao fic is soooo ❤️❤️❤️ I love all of them

but can I ask u something? (you don't need to answer if you don't want it) Did you write the reader as Lumine/MC or as the 'reader' itself??

TLDR: You can read it as Lumine/Aether/MC or as the ‘reader’ itself. I personally write it as if ‘reader’ is a separate character. Not necessarily ‘myself’ or the ‘viewer’. You can kind of think of it as an OC if that’s easier to understand but I don’t consider the ‘reader’ as an OC. 

---

Hi! (❤´艸｀❤) aww thank you, I love that you love them! Xiao is precious and we believe in Xiao supremacy. 

This is actually kinda interesting to answer and I’m about to write way more than I should but I believe I touched on it on my NSFW post so I’m just gonna restate it here. 

“I don’t treat “reader” as myself, just a separate character. The only time I get uncomfortable with it is if I, myself, am the one that’s doing it. But since I treat reader as a separate person it doesn’t bother me.”

I’m asexual so just the idea of being in a relationship with someone is not my thing. Which I know might seem weird considering what I write but if it’s not me that’s doing it and I don’t think of it as the ‘reader’ being me, then it’s fine. Similarly to how we watch shows or whatever. We don’t imagine the characters on screen to be ourselves but we still like watching the relationship and their moments. I’d like to think that people can relate to me on this but in any x reader fic, I never read it as if reader is myself. I’m not placing myself into those situations. Even when I see things like [y/n] I never insert my name, I just pretend [y/n] the the characters name. 

So essentially, I treat reader as their own separate person. I try and use “you” a lot and I don’t know if this was that noticeable but I never write [y/n] in my fics. I think the Childe fic I did is a good example where I made him call you by a title instead of writing [y/n]. Which will probably never happen since I don’t like writing [y/n]. Similar to how genshin says “traveler” instead of Aether/Lumine. 

I suppose thinking of ‘reader’ as an OC might be easier to understand even though I never think of ‘reader’ as an OC since it is suppose to be the reader. I can’t suddenly say “oh btw you have wings now lol”. That’s also why I try to keep things gender neutral and only use “you” as the “pronoun” (if I mess up please let me know). Honestly, I’ve never dealt with OCs or made one myself and this is just stemming from writing fics for a decent amount of time, not that there is anything wrong with OCs. I think they are really creative and fun to do/see. 

In a sense, I do take liberates by giving the ‘reader’ some sort of backstory but it’s usually either me trying to mix in story relevance since that’s just how my writing process goes (idk if we really want to go into that) or I’m just trying to make things cute. I’d like to think I’m not the only one that writes like this and considers the ‘reader’ as their own person. Even when I try to explain this and when I type [’reader’] I don’t ever consider the term referencing the person reading. That’s just a character name to me now. 

I’m kind of wondering how this got brought up but I’m assuming its because of my tags but basically, you’re free to read it as whatever you want. It could be Lumine, Aether, MC or reader itself. I can’t really stop you lol. I might take some story plot relevance which might make it seem that I’m writing Aether/Lumine but it’s usually just for easy explanation. 

But yeah, idk if that was interesting or not but hopefully this was clear enough haha. 

[criticallyalexandrite]

wait I'm kind of confused by that post about "if you use the word squick you're a freak" thing. I almost always see it used to mean something that's not a trigger but is off limits for reading/writing. Like, certain things are triggers for my OCD and trauma but certain forms of gore is just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I would call that a squick. is there another explanation I'm not aware of? (sincerely asking because I obviously don't want to use it if it's bad)

(Tw: CSA trauma, child abuse, abuse and personal abuse story)I don’t think anarchist-queer was trying to bash people who personally choose to use the term and find it helpful. I personally don’t hate the the term inherently either despite my ranty addition to that thread. I don’t know if I can fully speak for OP there. But what I was trying to get across in my post was my personal issue with the origin of the term and the way some popular anti antis are using it. A lot of popular anti antis are literally trying to haze people with fiction based triggers into using that term INSTEAD of trigger.Which is you know very ableist. I wouldn’t have an issue with the term otherwise if the attitude of the anti antis who coined the term was like “You can use it if you want but if you don’t that’s ok too.” In one of the most popular threads I saw on the manner the tone OP was using sounded very dismissive of fiction based triggers. Like they thought the very idea of fiction based triggers was “too discoursey” and that’s why we should just bring back the term squick instead. It was prioritizing “less discourse” over the mental health of antis. I haven’t checked the OP of that particular thread but I wouldn’t be shocked if they thought that antis are lying about being triggered by fictional scenarios (many anti antis legit believe this.)I know this is the case for many anti antis who platform the promotion of the term. Not just from my experience of being called out by theassholeantiarchive for daring to be raped by a NOMAP. (Seriously, theassholeantiarchive initially called me out over that. The mod who did immediately assumed i was lying.) But also due to my experience with the NOMAP in question, best0utthere. He’s a long time advocate for the anti anti community. He even talked a lot about directly experiencing the Anne Rice discourse himself which suggests he’s pretty old. Anyways, how that’s connected to my discomfort with how and why the term squick was coined is this. It’s because the anti antis who made it initially wanted to shut down antis who said they’re triggered by fictional characters/stories/scenarios. Didn’t matter the full context or even if the trauma related to the trigger was real. Anti antis like Best believe that people who claim to be triggered by anything fictional are just using  triggers to “trollbait” people into not embracing their full creativity.He legit believes that and due to how much social influence he’s had on the anti anti community, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of the people who helped coin the term. Or was at least around when the term was originally made. (Btw I don’t suggest actually asking him yourself, cuz he’s a dangerous person who doesn’t respect  nsfw boundaries.) I even have a retraumatization experience surrounding him insisting that was why I’m traumatized by pedo ships/pedophilia AU’s (Pedo AU’s are basically…taking a character who isn’t a pedo and making them into one.)Even though he’s literally the reason that I have that trigger in the first place.But he didn’t know that at the time he demonized my trigger. Still regardless, that was triggering for me in itself. This happened between us in a Wander Over Yonder discord server. One that was run by slogbait on tumblr. It’s not up anymore because me leaving the server over Best doing that apparently killed the server or something. (Not that I’m remorseful of that lol.) But yeah that experience of mine is I can’t help but side eye people who are so against using the term trigger to refer to fictional characters/stories/scenarios that trigger someone.It’s one thing if you (and by you I mean generally referring to anyone who prefers the term squick) prefer the term squick  for whatever reason. I can definitely see how it can be a legit helpful term to people. If it helps you, more power to you. This is definitely a situation where you can separate the idea from the creator. So I’m not gonna bash on people who use it. But I will absolutely be suspicious if someone intends to pressure others to use it when talking about fictional scenarios and ideas that cause them panic attacks or flashbacks or any other form of debilitating breakdowns. Because that IS different from just choosing to use the term squick for yourself. That’s both invalidating necessary language people need to use to explain how something is a trauma reminder and also demonizing people who don’t want to say squick in place of trigger. I think whichever word someone chooses to use to describe that, squick or trigger, should be up to the person. Some bitter and way too paranoid anti anti blogger shouldn't’ be allowed to haze and guilt trip people into choosing them for them.Does that make sense?Also to clarify in case my tone comes across that way…I’m not mad at you Connie. My tone just might sound kinda intense right now because this is a topic matter I take really seriously. And I’m also trying to put all the effort I can into using the right wording and tone. Sometimes that can result in me using a more intense tone with my posts than I intended to.