And Nothing Where I Now Arrive Is Shining (A Gonchrey Fic)
Sunlight danced across the cobbles of the Piazza del Plebiscito, errant gulls were circling and careening around the pure sky on the lookout, like hawks, for casually dropped crumbs from careless tourists. The gulls had no way of knowing that the two dark haired men who sat at the table of the bustling bistro were not careless tourists: far from it.
The taller of the two, although it was hard to discern which that might have been, both seated as they were, took a long drag on his Prima cigarette. The other man grimaced slightly as took a sip of his espresso - still unfamiliar after all this time. Between them sat an empty plate that had once held the pizza that they shared- prosciutto and rocket- now reduced to a smear of grease on the white porcelain.
From above the gulls could see how the silence cloaked the pair like a weighted blanket. It sat about their shoulders without grounding, without comfort; a heaviness with no reprieve only choking and suppressing. So long had the run from this feeling and yet here they were again - another country, another time, but ever trapped in their shared history. From her position up on high, one intrepid gull swope down to perch on the table next to the two men. The wrought iron legs rattled gently on the cobbles with her weight as she landed, causing the pair to break their wordless reverie as it snapped their joint attention. They both glanced at each other and broke into a nervously relieved snort of laughter.
“Andrey…” the taller man started. He looked sad. His eyes were more liquid brown than his companion’s coffee -and infinitely more familiar to him- and they radiated misery.
“I know. We can’t meet like this again.” muttered the shorter man, his eyes cast away. He spoke with the air of a condemned man counting down the last sweet agonising moments of his life on the gallows before the inevitable drop. The gull on the next table threw her head back as she chewed some discarded food; intrigued.
“You don’t. Dammit, Andrey, you’ve decided so much of this for me, for us. You don’t get to decide when it’s over. Don’t you know who I am? What I’ve done for you? What I do for you?!” Goncharov hissed, his eyes roving about his dining companion, voice tight with emotions that so infrequently broke their way to the surface of the torrent that raged within him. But his outburst was quiet. Even in this he remembered his place, the endless caution that had been droned into him by his father; by the USSR; by society itself. He was shaking lightly from the emotion.
“Go back to Katya. She can love you the way I can’t. The way you deserve.” Andrey still couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t look into those eyes he had loved, that had loved him, that had shown him the deepest and most vulnerable sides of this feared man. Couldn’t look at him and tell him ‘no’.
Goncharov stood up with the violent suddenness of a predator pouncing on its prey; the lightning quick reflex of a decision being made, a course of action irrevocably decided upon. The gull squawked and flapped a table away, but remained; watching skeptically with beady yellow eyes.
“That’s what you want?” he asked. His shoulders were a tense line. He didn’t glance at the other man as he spoke, instead focusing on the empty plate that lay between them, the taste of the sweet, salty happiness of their shared moments and ham turning to greasy ash in his mouth.
“Yes,” Andrey whispered, even as his heart screamed ‘no.’ “It’s the way it has to be. You know that.” He risked a glance up to where the other man seemed to tower over him. The gull who was nosing her way closer to the pair didn’t miss the way the standing man flinched bodily at his friend’s words. He hardened his face into a flinty facade.
“So be it, Andrey Mikhailovich,” he spat, “next time I see you it’ll be at the end of my pistol.” He turned on his heel and stormed away, a raincloud breaking up the glorious Neopolitan sunshine. The other man sat, solitary and stationary as death, his rapidly blinking eyes and deep breaths the only give away that he was alive. Gently, he too stood, throwing a careless bundle of lira on the table before he turned and left. He walked in the opposite direction.
Seeing the table abandoned, the gull took her chance. She flapped her elegant wings to their now empty dining arena, eagerly anticipating the bounty that awaited her. To her disappointment, the plate and cups were empty. The only thing still sitting upon the table was everything that Goncharov had left behind in Andrey’s care: the bleeding, beating remnants of his still beating heart.
44 notes
·
View notes
Step 1: have a really rough day
Step 2: receive high praise comment from new reader on AO3.
Step 3: proceed walking with a skip to your step, and ride that dopamine high until the end of the day.
Edit: forgot about Step 4: read you own fic from the random middle chapter they commented on and marvel: I wrote this?!
8 notes
·
View notes