#i don't have a great conclusion just something something queer i guess

[queerofthedagger]

my coworker is not a stupid or unempathetic or mean-spirited woman but today we were talking about kids and future plans and she asked what mine were. as I tend to do, I just answered honestly -- that I love kids, but that it's not for me at all. that it never was, that I don't think I have the character for it, that I'm super content being the cool queer aunt/uncle/clanmember, and that I think you shouldn't have kids if you don't 100% want them. I did not say all of this at once, but over the usual growing confusion of are you sure, oh that's strange, etc etc. and it's like, I'm not bothered by this! like I get why many people would be but mostly it gets a tired smile out of me because again, she doesn't mean this in a condescending way at all. she simply does not remotely understand this, she who has pulled her fulfillment for decades from job and children, literally the two things ranking lowest on my list of Fulfillment Needs. she tells me that well, I'm only 31, I still have a couple of years if I do want to change my mind. I tell her if I ever did, there would always be adoption too, but I don't think I will. she says okay, but if you had a partner? someone who really wanted kids? I decide not to get into how I'm pretty content single and how that would simply be a deal-breaker, or that I'd encourage my partner to have kids with someone else then because I'm poly on top of being queer and not having a wish for kids, and this woman is about to retire and well-meaning but said that it's rare that you hear of people that really do not want kids. and again, it's not a bad conversation! it's just a reminder that people live in such different worlds, me surrounded by people whose last desire is to procreate, she by people who think a fulfilling life means a house and two kids and a vacation to spain each year. and sometimes it's just easier to smile and nod and not break an old woman's brain or to take insult at being told, at 31, that like. All That. i'll keep smiling with a bit of pity at the cookie cutter picket fence life, and she will keep smiling with a bit of pity at my catlady-to-be life plan. perhaps, that is just the nature of the thing.

[erika111111]

The Quary and queer-baiting

It's a pretty known issue within The Quarry fanbase that this game basically set us up with two gay couples for them to just... not happen. In fact, it's almost as if the game rubs it in the players' faces that they don't, won't, and can't happen, besides the first half of the game setting them up rather clearly. It feels like the writers completely abandoned the idea halfway through, or for some reason just wanted to draw players in with the concept of queer relationships/characters just to rip it away in the end.

Disclaimer: This topic has been in my rough drafts for like, nearly two years at this point. I updated and added some stuff, but forgive me if I missed any crucial details.

So in the beginning, a lot of people wind up shipping both Ryan x Dylan (Rylan) and Emma x Abigail (Blygbank). Let's start with Blygbank since it's the shorter of the two.

So we do establish that Emma had a boyfriend, but the keyword is "had." To be fair, Jacob and Kaitlyn talk about it for the entire first section and that's the whole reason this game even happens, since Jacob wants another shot with Emma. So this straight couple is obviously very prominent. But, throughout the entire game, from multiple characters (Emma herself, Kaitlyn, Dylan, Ryan), it's repeatedly stated that Emma wants to move on from Jacob. Then we're introduced to Abigail, who's first scene is of her drawing a sketch of Emma. It's established that Emma and Abi are good friends. Maybe Emma and Abi will start a relationship? But, then we're introduced to Abi's crush on Nick. So I guess that idea just got blown out of the water...

To be fair, Emma's lack of interest in Jacob and Abi sketching Emma all happens very quickly within the first chapter. Perhaps it's the players' fault for jumping to that conclusion so quickly... but still.

What's more disappointing is that Abi and Nick are basically useless after chapter 6. There is actually yet another opportunity to develop some Blygbank relationship, but once again, it goes nowhere. Nick is bit and infected and starts acting absolutely horrible toward Abi, which very noticeably turns Abi off from him. Then Nick disappears for the rest of the game. But given Abi survives, she'll have another opportunity to have some alone time with Emma. Yet nothing of actual importance is discussed here. Not Emma kissing Nick. Not how Nick treated Abi. Not where Abi and Emma's relationship stands. Not where Emma and Jacob's relationship stands. We do get a moment where Emma reveals some of her true colors and she says that she needs Abi and she's been great to her, but once again, this goes nowhere. I guess we could see this as romantic, but Abi kind of seems just tired of and annoyed with Emma at this point and doesn't comment much about any of it. Basically there's just no conclusion. We have literally no idea where their relationship stands, romantically or otherwise. It's a huge missed opportunity.

While you can't get both of these scenes in the same playthrough, they do also push the Blygbank agenda. If you can get the "Nobody's Fool" route where Emma and Jacob reunite and Jacob tells her the truth, Emma will be completely and entirely done with Jacob. No more joking, no more mixed signals, she's just done. Which is kind of where the entire game was leading to from the beginning anyway, but this route gives it to us loud and clear. This accompanied with Abi and Nick going south again leaves us with a Blygbank option, but obviously, we get none of it. I know there's not much time left in the game by the time any of these scenes happen; maybe this is something else that could've been developed if we got any post-credits scenes, police interviews, I don't know. Again, maybe I'm reaching way too far with this one, but I think there's pretty good reason to ship Blygbank and assume maybe that's the direction they planned on going in. But I digress...

Onto part two, we have Rylan. And... Ryka? I have no idea what the ship name for Ryan x Kaitlyn is and I don't know if shippers for this couple even exist, so I'll just call them Ryka. And they're not a queer couple, but it's necessary to talk about the two at the same time.

I'll be honest, during my first several playthoughs/watchthroughs of The Quarry, I had no idea Kaitlyn was interested in Ryan. They do not do a good job of establishing that at all, and you can very easily miss every single opportunity for it to be brought up until chapter freaking nine. So honestly, Kaitlyn is pretty much a non-factor here. Dylan's crush on Ryan is very vocal and obvious, and the two are paired up very often throughout the game. Even if Kaitlyn's crush on Ryan was more well-known, Dylan is still the more obvious one between the two because, again, Dylan and Ryan are always paired up together.

Ryan is rather... uninterested in everything and everyone. But between everyone, he seems closest to Dylan. Of course, this can depend on how you play as both characters. You can make them argue A LOT, and Ryan won't always say the "I'm a bit closer to Dylan, I guess" line, but regardless, there's some scenes with them being close that will always happen. The most prominent scene between them is when they're walking to the radio hut and Dylan actually opens up to Ryan about who he is and what he likes to do. Ryan will have unwavering, non-negotiable interest in Dylan as a person here. Sure, they CAN kiss at the firepit, but Ryan can also choose to kiss Kaitlyn. They can joke around about the Bizarre Yet Bonafide podcast name, or they can't. They can agree over the gun, or they can argue instead. Ryan can cheer Dylan on or rush him. They can grab the phones and go or Dylan can annoy Ryan so much, he'll yell at him. Point being, there's a lot of options you can take with their relationship. You can make them close or you can make them bicker. Regardless, Dylan will remain interested. And regardless, they will have this intimate moment together on the way to the radio hut. Point being again, it's veryyyy obvious this a queer relationship in the making. Justice Smith is even a queer actor, and Miles Robbins is a very vocal supporter of the LGBTQ+ community.

Then Laura comes and fucks the whole thing up. And I love Laura, mind you, but for some reason the writers decided to take this whole ship and spin it on its head when Laura arrives.

Before we get into the Laura segment, let me point a few more things out. I personally thought that Ryan was maybe oblivious to Dylan and Kaitlyn's feelings, didn't really know which one he liked more, or most prominently, maybe he was asexual. When Emma tells him to kiss either Dylan or Kaitlyn, he asks if he can kiss both. I thought that was kind of an odd thing to say unless he either liked both or just didn't care. Also, he can ask Laura, "You're doing all of this for a boy?" He really seems like he doesn't understand this kind of love or investment in another person romantically. Upon discovering that line, I pretty much accepted Ryan as asexual.

But then he's not asexual. And he's not oblivious to Dylan and Kaitlyn's feelings. And he's not interested in either of them. According to Justice Smith himself, when Laura asks Ryan who he likes more and he answers with "Maybe neither," it means that Ryan has a crush on Laura. And I truly don't get this, for several reasons. For starters, yes, Laura is doing all of this for a boy--her boyfriend, Max. She literally has a boyfriend already. And Ryan already had a thing going with Dylan. So why, seven whole chapters through this entire game, giving us LauraMax and Rylan, do they suddenly pair together Lyan? It's just a creative decision I will never understand. Maybe if Laura and Max had broken up, but still. She's not reintroduced until chapter 7 so we've already had six chapters of Rylan still. Maybe they could have made it more obvious from the beginning that Ryan wasn't interested in Dylan or Kaitlyn, but they just didn't do that. They particularly paired Ryan and Dylan up all the time and made them close. So, I call queer-baiting.

Of course, Lyan never goes anywhere. The only ending you can get that involves any kind of romance is actually Laura and Max reuniting. Laura and Ryan's romance happens in basically two seconds and there's barely any romance to even speak of. Laura does flirt with him a lot, but I believe that's due to the werewolf curse, as she stops that kind of behavior after her curse is lifted. They do seem to be close friends by then, she just doesn't flirt anymore or make weird comments. And really neither does Ryan. Sure, you don't always get the "maybe neither" line and you can choose less flirty options sometimes, but then they have a whole ass The Lovers card. So it's extremely obvious what the developers were going for. I just don't understand why suddenly go for this couple eight chapters through after already establishing a gay couple with Ryan himself and Dylan.

The only other thing we get on this matter is Dylan and Kaitlyn discussing Ryan's relationship with Laura on their way to the scrapyard. The most positive outcome for Rylan here is when Dylan says he and Ryan got close and Kaitlyn tells him "There's always next year." So it does give a bit of hope to this ship, leaving it open-ended despite the sudden occurrence of Lyan. Of course, you might not always get these lines, and Dylan and Kaitlyn can both agree "screw Ryan" and move on. So... I don't fucking know. It's like they purposefully set players up to support this clearly laid out queer ship of Rylan to then make it all insanely confusing and open-ended and piss people off. I think they really fumbled the bag with this one, and it's why I have a hard time shipping Ryan with literally anyone. It's all just a confusing mess.

I'd definitely say that the whole Supermassive Games chain of video games definitely got less queer-baity and more queer accepting over time. Just a few months later, The Devil in Me is released and they give us a Lesbian ship with Jamie and Erin. Also, with the Until Dawn remake, they cranked up the Jemily and Climbing Class. Not by much, mind you, but regardless, they acknowledged the popularity of these queer couples in the fanbase and added some crumbs for the players. It makes me wonder if they'll ever delve on Blygbank or Rylan in the future. I'm doubting The Quarry will ever get a remaster/remake with added content like Until Dawn, but who knows, I guess. As I said, both ships are pretty much left open-ended. But for now, I think The Quarry has a serious problem with queer-baiting, or maybe they just had no idea how to handle writing queer characters. I really don't know.

Lastly, none of this was supposed to be negative or attacking any single one of the ships mentioned in this post. I don't know how anything I said could be interpreted that way, but you never know. This post was just supposed to be informative. I hear a lot of people criticizing the queer-baiting within this game, as they should, and I decided to make an informative post covering all of the points and how I believe they screwed up the opportunities to put in these queer couples and somewhat alienate their queer audience.

[lemotmo]

Not to balance out the ask or anything, but there's something I picked up on during the season. For the record I'm a buddie shipper but I'm not blind to the fandom's fault.

There's a leaker in twitter who posted vague stuffs during the season that turned out to be true; implying that Buck will kiss a man who isn't Eddie, Marisol being a former nun, karaoke scene being cut et cetera. I can't remember exactly when but it's most likely during the heights of Buddies being mad that the karaoke scene was cut (I don't think it's queerbaiting since the show already went past that since season 1 but I understand people being upset) the leaker posted something about "Guys please be nice" or something to tone down the backlash, despite he himself encouraging the fandom to be louder for the karaoke scene, go figure and then shortly after Tim made that post about the karaoke scene on his FB. I then assumed that he got wind of Tim getting fed up with people asking for the karaoke scene despite he himself volunteering to post that disregarding the song license stuff.

While I've seen how crazy some of the Bummys have been lately, I'm not ruling out the possibility that Tim's also getting fed up with us Buddies especially since he's been exposed longer to Buddies than Bucktommys; it's just he perceived the toxicity to be twofolds since it comes from two queer ships. The fact that Buddies on twitter, his primary social media source of gauging fandom reaction before he decided to call it quits, has new people who uses similar modus operandi as some Tevans operate to farm engagement and content, makes the possibility of the toxicity among Buddie fandoms raising there to be higher.

I guess my takeaway is just for us to quietly ship harder on Buddie without engaging in the same kind of toxicity Kinleys are doing. Just focus on the good things on Buddie (and Bucktommy if you multiship), don't drag down actors/actresses or love interests they play to the same extent *they* did (in general, if you think your ship is THAT good finding every small detail to discredit other love interests is not needed because your own foundation should be enough) as your anon said, Tim can feel hurt from criticism so as long as the grievances were expressed in a more civil manner it should be good for us.

Yes Nonny. I agree.

The karaoke scene debacle is certainly a really good example of where the Buddie fandom went too far. I get the disappointment. I was disappointed too, but I ranted about it to the mutuals, took a deep breath and moved on.

I know that some people on Twitter (and even here on Tumblr) most definitely overreacted to that scene being cut. I don't know if I remember it right, but a few of the most crazy Buddie stans even sent him nasty messages. The fact that Tim had to publicly react wasn't very flattering for our fandom.

To me it's the way he reacted that stands out here. From his tone (which is always hard to gauge in a written message) he seemed calm but annoyed with the fans who kept on asking for that scene. He even admitted to liking Buddie and wanting to give this to the fans.

After that, most Buddie fans got the message and stopped demanding to release the scene, with the few exceptions of course. 🤷‍♀️ Whenever the karaoke scene comes up these days, it's mostly people asking nicely.

This last Tim interview felt very different. It was a direct call out to the BT people who had bullied and threatened some of the 911 cast and crew, to the point that some of them had to be blocked. These people kept on running to Tim's Facebook DMs to then post them on Twitter to 'bludgeon another part of fandom'. That's a direct call out, which is on a whole other level than the karaoke debacle.

But ultimately I completely agree with your conclusion. It is very important to keep the positivity and civility while shipping Buddie (and BT if you multi-ship). In that regard Tumblr is very different from Twitter. Although there are definitely a lot of great Buddie fans on Twitter who aren't afraid to call out toxic behaviour within our own fandom, which is a good buffer to keep out the worst of the toxicity.

Fandoms are fandoms. A certain level of toxicity will never be able to be avoided. All we can do is, like you said, quietly keep on shipping Buddie and keep it all respectful towards others.

Hope you have a great day Nonny!

[ioletia]

Some people are wondering why other people are pissed about Episode 6. So, here I go. I guess spoilers if you aren't caught up.

Out of a nine episode series, one full episode was dedicated to Teen's backstory. That would be fine if everyone got an episode to detail their backstory or relevant trauma. But, that's not going to be the case.

We have three episodes left. Are you telling me that they are going to...

Explain Jen's trauma? Explain the man that tried to drown her in her hallucination? Explain how a non-magical doctor man was able to bind her power? Explain why a random non-magical man wanted to bind a witch that was doing good work?

Explain Lilia's trauma? Explain why she put a sigil on Teen? Explain what she saw? Explain her backstory and how her powers went a bit haywire? Explain her hallucination and what that meant?

Explain Agatha. Just explain all of that. There is so much here that it's just not possible to even touch on everything about her. Her backstory alone would be a multi-series event (that we'll probably never get). But, at minimum, they need to cram in the conclusion of her story here- her trying to get her power back.

Explain Rio. And that's a whole other bag of worms alone. Who the hell is she. We all know that she's Death, but what does that mean in the context of the world.

And then explain this whole sordid sapphic romance between Agatha and Rio. Why does Rio want to hurt Agatha. How did they meet. What's going on.

There are just too many questions to wrap up nicely in the last three episodes. Someone isn't going to get their story told. Which sucks.

But we do know who's story had to be told- Billy Maximoff's. Because it's now the beginning of Phase 6 for the MCU and they need some new super hero blood given that the Avengers have disbanded.

So, we get this series where the cast is really there to set up Billy and Wiccan. The witches, besides Agatha, become bit players to be thrown away and forgotten. Look what they did to Alice. If she is dead, that is probably the most unfulfilling character arc I've ever had to experience. And there's still Lilia and Jen- if they're not dead.

A lot of people are hating on episode 6 because it pushes out the character(s) they wanted to see for a character that the MCU demands exist. And this comes by pushing out queer older women, a group that is often ignored or completely disregarded in any media space. All while a gay teen basically got his coming out story- a story that has been told so many times before.

Fans of the queer women are frustrated that their characters have been put to the sidelines. Fans of the MCU are elated that they get to see another new super hero enter the fold. Episode 6 really created this divide in the audience.

We all know that Billy/Wiccan is definitely going to be in a movie or another series or something. The same cannot be said of Lilia, Jen, Alice, Rio, or maybe even Agatha (nothing's really been confirmed outside of a What If... episode in Season 3).

The show baited a bunch of people into it under the premise of queer witches- and we got an origin story for Wiccan. People were so invested in the show by Episode 6 that it really felt like a slap in the face to a lot of people who came here for the queer witches.

Maybe this explains the frustration with Billy and why the hate against him is sort of deserved. People were baited with one thing and given something different entirely- and now we get to find out whose story was cut to make room for him.

And, yeah, sure, Gay representation is great, but it really does feel like the G in LGBTQIA+ gets a whole lot of enthusiasm while everyone else is sort of forgotten. Remember, the L is first because the lesbians really saved our asses during the AIDs crisis by donating blood and just generally being saints. And yet... You don't see a lot of lesbians in media, especially older wiser lesbians.

This show could have been something truly groundbreaking. A whole story inside a major (current) cultural touch stone that celebrates queer older women. But, instead we got an origin story of another super hero man. Hence the frustration.

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

Something that’s always annoyed me is that we literally never saw Emily actually do her job before she got fired. In episode one, they said her job was to create drama between the contestants and use the confessionals to do that, which she then.. never does??? I feel like it’s such a missed opportunity that they never really used her for this, especially when all the characters just jump to conclusions and create drama on their own which just makes them unlikeable most of the time. For example, she could’ve told Jake things about Tom and Aiden (even if that plotline sucked), made the Jake and Ally plot worse, Connor and Riya, Ellie with the villains alliance, etc.

Plus, I could be misremembering, but I’m pretty sure we never find out WHY she even helps Yul out in the earlier episodes. It sort of makes sense for his manager to contact her out of all the staff since she’s the newest, but why exactly does she decide to help?? How does it benefit her at all to do something that could (and did) get her fired for the sake of his reputation? Just because the manager would pay her?? It makes no sense to me.

I don’t think ONC had any idea what they were doing with her character for this entire season. Like, what the hell was the POINT of spending 5 episodes straight building up a friendship between her and Trevor that was clearly good for both of them, just to fuck it up for the sake of Trevek. And again, we have no idea what her plan to “ruin the show” even is. I’d assume that she intended for the scorpions to seriously injure or even kill one of the contestants so the staff would be in a lot of trouble, but. How did they NOT consider this as a possibility. They (or atleast Trevor and Derek) knew about the scorpions since season one, they’re in the same caves, and it was probably them who locked them in that cage in the first place. Plus, Trevor seemed to know exactly what Emily was gonna do and just didn’t.. try to warn anyone or say anything at all? Ok. Emily I’m so sorry for what they did to u queen, you deserve to be in a better show than this

every single character deserves to be in a better show, because i can truly get behind why characters like riya or even fucking YUL can be nuanced. TRULY, they do have potential, just not under ONC.

but EMILY??? they did her DIRTY. i don't get anyone saying it's in-character or out-of-character because guess what, her character is barely fucking established. it is SURREAL just how BAD her writing is. if you did a proper character analysis for her you couldn't say shit because there's so many contradicting things to say!! and this sucks!! because she could've been great!! but in ONC's eyes if a character is queer they're interesting enough who cares about actual development that makes sense!!!!! they're so progressive you guys!!! don't you want to watch disventure camp because they show up in those '_ rep in shows' slideshows from tiktok?!!?!?! don't you !?!?!??!?!?!?!!!

[sevensoulmates]

Hi there 👋 may I have your opinion on this? Because I feel like it's the general consensus that Eddie may not be all that unaware of the way his feelings towards Buck runs deeper than friendship right? he has been stocking his feelings away in this little glass box he is so careful holding close to his heart, and he doesn't really have to examine those feelings because he firmly believes Buck is straight right? and then Buck's new revelation will be crashing down on him like:

while Eddie is running away from queerness.

And I absolutely can't wait to see Eddie overanalyzing every past and future interaction with Buck under this new light and be like:

I'm so ready for this development 🍿🍿🍿 and I've always wondered if the reason it feels like Eddie was always making heart eyes at Buck was a Ryan thing, like he was playing the character the way he wants or it's him being directed to do that acting choices. Hopefully we will now soon.

Finally, do you think they will be addressing the couch theory again, at some point or will they brush it off?

I've been reading your last meta again and again (and I will do it again) still daydreaming about 7x04, still on cloud nine, total bliss 🤗

Sorry for the delayed response. Had a busy work day today. You've actually touched on one of those things that I go back and forth on a lot when it comes to Eddie and that is the idea of whether or not he is aware (on some level) of his sexuality and/or feelings for Buck.

I've seen some great arguments that he is aware but not able to COMPREHEND his feelings, and simply packed them away. And I've also seen some great arguments on Eddie not being aware at all and having just repressed it all so deeply that even though he feels his feelings, he's never allowed himself to think about what they actually mean. There's a lot of overlap in the two arguments and I think there's some truth to both.

A good friend of mine Zee @tawaifeddiediaz presented me with an interesting thinking point which is the possibility that Eddie may have realized his feelings for Buck on some level at the time of the shooting in the season 4 finale but due to the traumatic nature of the event, repressed them alongside his other feelings regarding that event, which I am inclined to agree with.

Personally, I hesitate to say that Eddie is consciously aware of his feelings/sexuality at the current point in time because then it makes me feel weird regarding his actions with dating Marisol. That's a large reason why I'm pretty certain Eddie isn't aware, or at least fights back against his feelings so hard that he's unknowingly overcorrecting by dating women.

Because if there's one thing about Eddie it's that he is almost always existing in a state of denial in one way or another. Denial about the reality of what his relationship with his parents was like, denial about how unhappy his relationship with Shannon was, denial about the fact that Christopher does not NEED a mother to live a good life, denial that he deserves happiness, denial about how deeply the war affected him, denial about how he feels regarding being with women. It's just denial, denial, denial with him. So I guess on some level in order to exist in that perpetual state of denial, one has to at least be aware on SOME level that there IS something to be in denial about, right?

I'm open to whatever the writers have in mind up their sleeve for Eddie. Now that they have the freedom to go down this route if they want, I trust they'll do it well.

As for the couch theory, I think people need to stop thinking about it as something that was introduced in season 6 and needed to be conclusively wrapped in season 6. I think it was more so meant to be a series-long metaphor for "once Buck finds his home, he'll have found where he needs to be". And that's really what the couch metaphor means to me. So, no, I don't really think the show needs to have Buck be like "hey, Eddie, want to go pick out a couch with me?" Instead, I think they can just have Buck, Eddie and Christopher sit on the couch in Eddie's home altogether once Buddie is canon and that would be more than for me to feel like the "couch theory" was satisfied.

[chemicalarospec]

Some intersex people genuinely don't want to be included but the majority of us want to be. It's actually really difficult to be in queer spaces that consistently enforce sex binaries, never use the updated progress flag with us, and never have intersex flags.

Often the idea that we don't want to be included comes from intersexists who want us to remain as "disorders of sexual development" (outdated offensive term). It's unfortunate that this idea permeates the queer community so much.

You can see photos from this intersex organization using the pride flag, if you need more than an anon's word. https://interactadvocates.org/#

Thanks for the information!

I didn't know "disorders of sex development" was considered outdated and offensive, I thought it was actually a modern (more formal?) alternative to "intersex". Unless that was "differences of sex development"? (I almost tagged it on the original post but I wasn't sure what the term was.) Ah, I found more information on the link (x). Thanks for the website, very helpful!

This subpage is a great source on intersex people wanting to be included! It's a bit more ambivalent than I expected - combined with this anon's word and my previous impressions it seems like there are still a significant amount of intersex people who don't want to be a part of the queer community, but the ones who do want to be included would much prefer the queer community open its arms. So it seems to me the best course is to do so and the intersex people who want to can individually distance themselves (my impression is most people of that group more want to be personally distanced than think 'I' should never be a part of 'LGBTQA') and only partake in intersex communities.

We recommend adding intersex to your organization’s LGBTQIA+ acronym only once you have intersex leadership, consultation and/or resources. Intersex people have very specific needs, just like each letter of the acronym.

This line in particular stood out to me because they only provide guidance for what organizations should do... I feel like most times when the decision is being made whether or not to use the intersex progress flag, it's individuals and small groups like my GSA making posts, selling merch, decorating a space, etc. that aren't serving any needs besides community for anyone... I guess I already came to the conclusion to include by default though? (Honestly this page feels just barely strong enough for me to send to anyone if this question comes up in the future, so if anyone has any more sources do send in more anons!)

Honestly I was hoping for something like "our survey of as many intersex forums/organizations/people as possible found that 80% of intersex people want to be included in 'LGBTQIA', pride events/orgs, and the progress pride flag" --that this had been "laid to rest" and I could just tell my friend straight "no, intersex people want to be included now"-- , but of course I shouldn't expect things to be too simple haha, people & groups are nuanced and nuance comes in the form of caveats. At least I feel much more informed now!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

have you been in other fandoms with a lot of shipping? if so how would you say the evidence compares?

Well, I was in the Sherlock fandom Back In The Day and definitely witnessed TJLC unfolding in front of me – but that's fiction anyways so "evidence" isn't a great term for it (I guess outside the whole "showmakers are doing this On Purpose and have a plan" stuff).

The main real person tinhat theory I'm deeply familiar with is Gaylor (majoring in Kaylor specifically). That's a theory I've followed at least casually for about 9 years and even kind of hyperfixated on between like 2018 and late 2020 – without ever really believing it (though I like to think I gave it a fair shake back when I first discovered it in 2015 and also when it seemed a bit likely in 2019).

Anyways, there is very definitely less evidence for Gaylor than for something having happened between John and Paul… But the evidence is also extremely different because there simply aren't nearly as many accounts about Taylor's day-to-day life and relationships and business dealings as there are about the Beatles. Most of the things thought to be known about her private life come from her own songs, making the theory basically based on an extremely subjective and abstractified account of her life.

Oh also so much of their evidence is either stuff which may or may not be ~queer symbolism (and often almost definitely isn't) or it's like… she and whoever her theorized lover is posting pictures wearing the same colour on instagram. Like, it's not analysing her actual relationships and trying to draw conclusions from that (there was a bit of that when we were actually getting a lot of content of Taylor and Karlie Kloss in 2014/15 but… it's been a decade lol) it's purely based on what Taylor is trying to say to us, the audience. This also makes gaylors VERY resentful towards non-shippers, because the "hetlors" Just Don't Get It. (also gaylors are pretty ostracized, partially for homophobic reasons but partially because they um don't make sense)

There's also no one who is actually close to Taylor or at least claims to be who is making any claims even tangentially like this about her. So yeah, the quality of the best evidence is incomparable.

However, there is stuff I'd consider very poor evidence for McLennon which is quite similar to some Gaylor arguments. For example ,Paul allegedly saying "Oh Johnny" on Oh! Darling… a bunch of kaylors think the song Call It What You Want is actually a "pun" on "Karlie, what you want". So I always cringe a bit when I see that type of thing gets paraded as evidence. (also: "I buried Paul" anyone?)

[matan4il]

preface ..... I actually don't care how Buddie becomes Canon just make it happen, I promise writers I won't complain..... But 2 things I am not sure make me a masochist. So here's my 2 points.

The reason the slow burn is my favorite of all tropes is because, yes, it's full of longing and ache. It always starts with explosive feelings that can be a confusing mix of jealousy, attraction, and an insane spark. But what makes it special is that by the time the feelings are acknowledged, the 2 are so intertwined it really becomes a question of can I risk losing you in my life for the gratification of having it all. There is something beautiful about that idea, like I can't risk not seeing you leaning on just so we can have sex. Honestly, it's why the best slow burns don't even launch right away. Maybe take a detour till they realize they are stupid. Christopher is a huge reason they are so intertwined that they may be hesitant too. So is it wrong that I sort of want to see the longing play out a little??

And 2, I sometimes don't like the idea that if suddenly both realize they are not entirely straight that they will just be like "hey let's be gay together." Because the beautiful thing about these 2 has never really been that. I think most audience members would agree that if you had confirmation, they could find the other sexually attractive, of course they are Canon. It's the only thing missing from their relationship. However I think Buddie sees the other one as damn near perfect, like just that fucking great. But in my head I am like, I can totally see them thinking there is no way he could love me back. I guess my point is queer confirmation is a signal to us but I in no way think it suddenly makes Buddie take the leap.

Does any of that make sense, or am I just wishing to be tortured by the natural conclusion of a slow burn. Which is a little bit of pain and misery I hope they draw out for me every Monday!!!

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the lovely ask.

Honestly, I agree with you so much! Slow burns are so good because they take their time in building themselves emotionally, so that by the time we get to the sexual (and often even before that), every touch, every look, every word explodes with meaning and feelings.

TBH, I take 'going canon' as ANYTHING that admits and recognizes that at least one character's feelings for the other goes beyond friendship. Not hints, not subtext, but something that is unmistakable. Like a conversation with a third party. Not spilling anything to the other person, maybe not yet even admitting things to themselves, but the second the text recognizes these feelings? And for real, not as a cute wink at the shippers, like the elf lady in 210? That is CANON. And yeah, slow burns def continue beyond that and can even REALLY stretch this part out, and have a lot of engaged viewers wanting to see how the transition will happen from "I finally know how I feel, but I can't act on it" to "This is right, and I'm as sure as I can be that we both want it, so it's still scary, but it's not so scary that it's out of reach."

I hope this helps? Thank you and have a great day! As always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[byler-alarmist]

Hellcheer

Okay, I'll level with you -- in any other show, I probably would've loved it.

I love a cutesy/sunshine partner with a darker/edgier partner. The relationship often brings out fun, surprising depths to their respective characters. I totally get this trope!

However, I just can't ship it romantically in Stranger Things.

For one, I lean towards Eddie being gay. He is extremely queer-coded and heavily paralleled to Will. I guess it's technically possible he could be bisexual though, and if he is, then perhaps he could've liked Chrissy that way.

But I don't think he took her to his trailer with any romantic intentions at all, I think he was just trying to finish his drug deal and get paid, and also thought she was nice/wanted to help her out.

Either way, as a super-senior, Eddie's a little too old for her within the canon of the show having her still in high school. Obviously this wouldn't stop many guys, but it just wouldn't sit right with me.

All that said, I thought their scene in the woods was very cute! They had a good rapport and the thought of Chrissy enjoying Corroded Coffin is just 🤌🤌

I love that he insinuates that she is a covert "freak"! This show has always been about the nerds and outcasts, but S4 starts dropping several seeds suggesting that even some of the normie people who are looked upon as popular, attractive, rich, etc may not be as "normal" as they let on.

It could even be subtly suggesting that Chrissy was some flavor of queer, too, since Hellfire/Corroded Coffin/Eddie in general seem to represent queerness and/or 'alternative" lifestyles.

I saw somebody say that the tragedy of Eddie and Chrissy was that they had all the potential to be friends if not for their rigid social stations.

I actually agree and like to think that they could've become great friends in another setting.

Personally, I love the thought of "Platonic with a Capital P" Hellcheer!!

I saw an absolutely hilarious fanart that was a swapped version of Stobin in the Boobies scene, except it was Chrissy arguing with Eddie in the car and they were debating whether his guy crush was into dick or not 😹😭 it was great and I'd love that dynamic for them hahahshsha

I also saw another really cute fanart of the two of them as DnD characters! Like if she had joined Hellfire or something. They had made her a kind of dancer lady and he was some kind of bard with his lute. It was really sweet and I'd love that for them too, in a platonic way

Conclusion: I think Eddie and Chrissy had cute friend potential, though it would be hard for their characters in a place like Hawkins. Maybe if they had lived, after they graduated and got out of Hawkins, they'd have a better shot at being real friends.

[gloomysoup]

i'm about to go on a bit of a personal ramble here for a minute. i feel like i have a lot to say and no one to say it to, and i feel like my blog has become this safe space for me to say those things. i've shared pieces of myself (my creative work) that i haven't shared with other people before. so i'm going to get a little more personal. if you want to read, great. if not, that's fine too. maybe we'll all get something out of this. maybe we won't. either way, it's here.

i've lived in the same county, with the same people, for twenty years. twenty years in a small, conservative, god-fearing place. every single household in my neighborhood goes to church every sunday. they have bible study in my neighborhood for the adults that meets every week. i've grown up around a lot of small-mindedness when it comes to social issues. which put a lot of strain on my mental health, growing up different from anyone else. i never really fit in, even in my friend groups. there's this expectation that everyone seems to have.

i always knew i was different. there was something about me. there's a lot of things, actually, but i really just want to focus on one in particular. i never had an interest in boys. not once. i didn't really think much of it until other people my age made comments about it. i never had a boyfriend, aside from once in probably first or second grade. and we were friends, only "dated" for maybe two days. that was that. i don't really ever count it. dating never seemed like a very big deal to me for a long time. i was much more focused on school and sports. eventually i realized i was a lot more interested in girls than i ever was in boys.

i fought thru a lot of internalized stuff before i came to the conclusion that i was absolutely 100% definitely a lesbian (along w a lot of trial and error in the form of awkward college experiences). i had a lot of issues throughout middle and high school that i don't particularly need to get into. all that really matters is now.

this year, i made a vow to myself. id do more to truly love myself. to be who i am, unashamedly. i made a few changes to my diet (eating healthier, listening to the advice my doctor gave me ten years ago that i should have listened to back then, actually eating regularly for the first time in years). i got a new job, which i actually really enjoy despite how tired i always am. i love the kids i work with. my coworkers are amazing. which brings me to the latest decision i've made in an effort to keep my promises to myself.

i'm done hiding. i don't want to feel ashamed of who i am just because it doesn't fit the mold. up until recently, i've been pretty selective about who i tell that i'm gay. i never wanted it to get back to my family. i didn't want them to know. i'm still not sure i do, but it's time i stop trying to walk on eggshells all the time. i'm not sure i'll be able to say anything outright, but i don't want to hide it away anymore. i don't want to pretend to be someone i'm not. i don't want to put up more masks every time i leave the safety of my room.

i'm going to a concert in june. pride month. the concert is for my favorite queer artist. i don't want to hide my excitement at finally getting to see her live just because i'm afraid of what people will say. i don't want to carefully think through every little thing before i say something or do something, just in case it's a little too gay to brush off.

i think this is finally the year i embrace myself for who i am. maybe i'll even finally go to a pride event and post pictures. i don't want to be afraid anymore. i don't want to hide anymore. maybe this will backfire on me. maybe it won't. i guess i won't know unless i try.

[cepheusgalaxy]

I... something's weird

My mom started using the pronouns I asked her to a while ago... and it doesn't feel right? Like, probably it is because I'm not that used to it so I need a period of adaptation... but what if it's not? Like, my disphoria did't come that much from pronouns but I still don't wanna use she/her... or do I? Do I really wanna use he/him or I'm just going along with the "boy = he/him" logic??? I've tried they/them some times too... but it felt so bad. But thinking of it now, it may be becaude I always heard it with sarcasm? As a joke. As an insult. I also love my mom, and I know she's trying to help... but she keeps reminding me that its hard to keep up when I change pronouns and it makes me feel guilty... I've kept he/him for now because I thought that's what I wanted? But I'm not sure anymore. And regarding my name... I know I've chosen Heron but is it really the right one? Like... I didn't mind it much but lately i've been feeling so annoyed at it... It's a fine name and I liked it even but not anymore. I guess that's normal? I kind of hate it when certain people use it. And i like these people, a lot. But then theres my dad... He calls me by this name with such affection and I don't feel uncorfotable at all. Every time he calls me I think of that. Should I really change my name at all? I don't wanna hear that hesitation my mom has when she calls me a he. I still like it when my dad calls me by my birthname. Should I change names and have just him call me by that? Should I give up on Heron? Maybe I shouldn't even be worrying about that. I only figured that I was trans a few months ago... it hasn't even been a year. People take a lot of time to figure out that. But I don't wanna wait.

I know I'm trans, but am I in the way I thought I was? I usually have a first thought regarding a thing but then I dismiss it. And all the time I end up coming to that same first conclusion. When I first started questioning I went with lots of "complex" nonbinary genders, what if I was right? Maybe I'm more genderfucked than I first thought.

But I guess I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of labelling myself and exploring because people won't get it. And I know I shouldn't be tinking about anyone but ME when it comes to that but I can't... I'm not exactly out in school. Some of my friends know I have something going on and i "look" kinda queer but I just left things with a "yea im a little bit gay maybe" and I can't help but think that if I label myself with a weird gender nobody will get it and ill just feel even more misunderstood.

I know I'm masc. But how much?

Where does my disphoria comes from? Where does my euphoria comes from? I wish I had the answers and why is it so hard to choose a name

Perhaps I should go with something longer. I also kinda like "international" names. Maybe something with 'a'? To match my birthname. I still like it. Even tho I hate it.

Avalon? Idk what kind of name is this but it sounds great. Amy? Amelie? Is it fine by me if I go by a gendered name? Why is it so hard?

I wish I knew more people like me. Personally. I just feel so lonely. I like to be alone a lot of the time but sometimes I just feel like im never with anyone that gets it. Sometimes I feel like im kind of a bad friend because--along other reasons (im terrible at comforting people or helping when theyre upset...)--sometimes i don't really wanna hang out with them because we barely share any interests. I have this one friend i love to hang out wit because we share the same passions and can do nothing or anythimg together but with my other friends-i like them sm but we don't really connect. They keep saying im gifted or somethinf cuz i can draw, they never shut up about how im oh-so great with art and i do a doodle and theyre like "OH wow what a masterpiece" and im doing an illustration for the sake of it, to feel good for making art, to make my world a little prettier with the colors i chose, decorating my homework or whatever and they all "woah you didn't have to humiliate us" every time! Its annoying! I hate it! We don't share anything, they like doing things that are not completely my thing-i mostly do them for the sake of hanging out with them because i always have such a great time-they have lifes completely different from mine and available at different times. Do you know that "you didn't really have a childhood if you didn't do x or y" meme? I HATE it. Cuz i didn't do x or y. It makes me feel so dismissed. So different. And most of my friends DID do x and y so i don't share that with them. I'm just so tired of being different all the time. I wish I was surrounded by more people like me. Maybe this will sound really gen z but idk what i'd do without social media. I'd prob feel even worse.

And my friends have struggles so different from mine. They don't have nice homes. They had such a troubled childhood. They had different joys too. They had sleepovers, childhood friends they grew up close to and still are close friends to this day and are so comfortable around each other and always went to the same school. I didn't really have this kind of friend because my mom didn't know in what school to put me at the time so i never stayed in one school for more than one year. My most was 2. And they're all cishet. They're all allo-i mean, exept from one. And i am so afraid for her. She goes around using she/her, once she told she'd like to go by he/him, we talked about gender sometimes and we saw that she liked the bigender label but her family is super religious and her therapist is also from her church and does "spiritual healing as well as mental" and she said she was over being bi because christians shouldn' be bi and--anyways i... and i don't know how to help my friends and they have so many problems and they don't know how to help me and i don't really talk about my problems with them and i don't know if i trust then enough to... share it all and i just wish i had more queer friends and people who understood me because i always feel so unseen ;( and lonely. And miserable.

And my mom-i just, and my dad, they are divorced but they keep bringing each other up and long story short theyre driving ne crazy they don't like each other but they can never get along and they keep dragging me and my siblings to their long ENDLESS conversations about the other one and im SO DONE I JUST WISH THEY COULD IGNORE EACH OTHER AND COLABORATE

And were traveling-my siblings me and my mom and everytime we do she always plans out everything but she doesnt really gives us freedom to have free chill time when we're there because everything is just so tightly scheduled planned and thats something really minor but i really need free chill MY tine EVERY DAY to recharge, even if it is from fun, to write, draw, read, do whatever i want-and me and my mom have ideas of fun so different and UGH

And she keeps calling me he and she is technically being supportive and avoiding misgendering me but WHY DO I FEEL SO UNCONFORTABLE?? And i shouldn't be mad at her because she is technically doing the right thing but :( i need to figure things out for myelf, find a support group because I REALLY need to surround with my kind and then tell her how it turns out for me.

I just-it's so hard being fourteen, when will this stop?

[skeppsbrott]

Unfortunately the post you reblogged about the perception of autism as something only cool people have was written by a terf. (I agreed with the post so I checked out op’s blog, got bad vibes, searched “trans” and found ugly stuff real fast)

Hi there anon!

So I've been waffling back and forth about how to reply to this but here is (sort of) where I have ended up:

Terfery is bogus. I don't need to elaborate on this. Terfery was embarrassing, destructive, self-cannibalising and reactionary when I first encountered it in like, 2012. In 2023, amidst a quite frankly astounding and terrifying backlash, even moreso. Socially isolating terfs from fellow feminists, activists, and (possibly) queers is a legitimate tactic of activism and I think it is a quite effective one. You treat our siblings, friends and allies like that while calling yourself a feminist? Go take a long walk off a short pier, mate.

And yet...

I do not really want to recieve messages like this.

I understand the impulse and I think the fact that you go out of your way to send me this underlines something important - we have a culture on this corner of the Tumblr that terfs ain't got no friends. It is not controversial to be like "yo fuck feminists that oppose trans liberation and have a gender-essentialist worldview" and that's unequivocally a good thing. I am glad that you trust my politics enough to send me this. I am glad that my politics shine through enough that I would obviously support your anonymous suggestion (except it is not a suggestion, you just gave me this information to, idk, fill out a bingo card and draw my own conclusions with, but nonetheless).

And yet, I do not really want to recieve messages like this.

I gave up social media activism many years ago. It made me miserable. It made me miserable to be around. It made my spaces of respit miserable and it meant I was always fucking on and I am not saying I am a great activist now but at some point you realize you'll just burn yourself out on that shit when instead you could like, idk, talk kindly to young queers who haven't worked out their internalised shit yet and help people come out of their freshly cracked eggs and support your older queer friends in their quests for parenthood in this wretched world. Make sure that anyone in your social circle knows that if they fuck around with gender essentialism they'll find out real soon but not because you make a big deal out of hating terfs but because you are loud and proud about having declared the old ways of doing gender over and done with. Hopefully?

I don't know. If you are my friend or you've followed me for a long time or we're mutuals or whatever and you see me behave in a way that makes you feel unsafe on my blog I think it is fair to reach out. "Hey, Skeppsbrott, this person you reblog a lot of art from is a quite vocal terf on their main blog and I really wish you wouldn't". "Hey, Skeppsbrott, I think you are being way too charitable to the debate happening on that post you just reblogged. This is my read, I hope you'll reconsider."

That seems actionable to me. Like yeah I probably should pay attention to the politics of people who very often end up in my reblog chains! I definitely should pay attention to the changing rethoric used by gender essentialists! I do not, however, want to spend energy wondering whether every post I reblog might possibly be made by a terf and feel guilty if I perhaps missed one. I also struggle with the anon ask as something that demands a response but which also demands it publicly. Would you have noticed if I removed the post but never replied to your ask? Would you get suspicious if I never DID reply to your ask? I guess part of why making it an anon ask is that the act of condemning terfery in an ask is more potent than removing a jokey and a little mean but nonetheless fair post about autism that got like three hundered notes. No one really suffers from that post, that's kind of the conundrum here. Either way, I am not here to scorch the earth, but then again -

"Hey, Skeppsbrott, this person you reblogged a post from is trying to become a tumblr funnyman so that they can infiltrate more people with transphobic propaganda"? Yeah. I guess that is not so different from what I commented above.

Perhaps at the end of the day I am just really, very, terribly equipped for social isolation tactics. I just can't really bring myself to do it. Call it trauma or poor constitution or whatever. It just brings me this great, deep sadness, where I look at who I was and can't help but wonder what I would have gotten lost in if there hadn't been people who looked me sternly in the eye and said "that's fucked up. Get out now before I too grow to hate you".

Or maybe I am just a coward. That is entirely possible as well. Even quite likely.

Thank you, anon, genuinely. I appreciate it. But maybe next time, don't?

xx

[putterphubase]

same anon as before. i just want to clarify that i am totally okay with bls not having any kissing scenes, like they don't have to show that kind of stuff. i was just so invested in this show that i... i guess i was hoping a kiss would happen? like that cute fluffy lil innocent moment, which i thought was going to happen when they were both sleepily talking to each other sitting in bed where they'd shy away from each other afterwards and then maybe just cuddle until they fell asleep. also dayeol's behavior towards taehyun whenever he showed an interest really was weird. i get being cautious about being turned down again but four years have passed and this guy is clearly showing an interest in you now so why act so weird about it. i was afraid they were going to make the point of 'but i'm a guy and you're a guy' and i'm so glad that didn't happen. i hate when bls do that, just say you've got secret homophobic tendencies and move on.

i also totally agree with the four year time jump being weird, not having a lot of what happened explained, how easy it was for the two to meet back up after the first two years went by - like so yeong and dayeol made it seem like they meet up often or they've at least stayed in touch but then when so yeong calls taehyun and he comes running, it's made out to be like it's the first time they've met up since dayeol left school. having it be months instead of years that they've met up and then showing over those years, even if it was just glimpses, of how their relationship had slowly developed until it got to the point where they were comfortable enough around each other to show their romantic feelings would have been better than just blindly jumping in to four years after dayeol's confession. i want to know what happened in the mean time, don't leave me guessing there.

also where the heck did dayeol wanting to be a cop come from? it couldn't have been what he meant when he said he found something to focus his passion on back when he quit the archery team. the only thing that could even lead to him wanting to be a cop would be the fact that he's a good shot but g*ns are different than arrows and i feel like that's just too far of a reach to make sense. tell me why this kid came to the conclusion that he wanted to be a cop. no aspect of his life shown tells me being a cop was his desired career path. what happened that made him want to chose that path? and yeah, what the heck is taehyun doing with his life? all we know is that he's good at math and he gets his homework done early.

don't get me wrong though, i thoroughly enjoyed the series and i'd kill for another season. or even just another series with yechan and jaehan together because they've got great chemistry and their acting was pretty good. it's probably a series i will watch again, i'll just skip the last episode and pretend like it didn't end weirdly lololol

this is extremely long so for the sanity of everyone i will be read more-ing

oh no i totally get you on the kiss, and i think after all the whiplash/their relationship changing/them growing as people and as partners/the angst and time they had to work through/i could keep going a kiss would've shown their growth through all that nicely. the ear kiss was cute but even like an earnest forehead kiss or something. edit after rereading your ask: also theres nothing wrong with hoping for a kiss!!!!!!!!!! i didnt mean it like that at all, we should be able to see queer kisses like it's anything else!!

i will admit during ep 7 i was like why did i actually enjoy their push and pull dynamic more than this....they did the flirty "i have a crush on you and im toeing the line of friendship" VERY well but (and by no fault of the actors really) the "we're finally dating after like 4 years" dynamic change shouldve done and given....a lot more. i liked their talk on the bed but at the same time like i felt like i just needed more. we can't jump from "we reunited after 2 years and im waiting on you to confess" to "ok we are dating now and everything is fine" like i actually would've preferred instead of the fluffiness them having like a really earnest open talk about their emotions. like that even really could have replaced a kiss for me. LIKE THINK ABOUT IT....the fact that we don't even know for sure if they were dating in this last ep is crazy???? and i dont mean "its just ambigious" i mean THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY......if they did that off screen then that makes no fucking sense, this is a romance coming of age drama and the romance is the plot....the getting together is the climax?

i need a huge emotional heart to heart, sobbing crying if you have to after all that and MULTIPLE YEARS OF PINING. i know theyve grown as people but dude the guy youve been longing for for four (holy shit at the english language??) YEARS (on both of their sides) is finally in a place where you can be together. HELLO? you skipped all that and just gave us the fluff...? (although i did enjoy the fluff but would've liked it more if they gave us this).

i totally get why you were scared of that happening and yea it sucks. you don't even have to show it on screen but they don't have to suddenly act like 2 men kissing is weird and out of left field lol yall have been gay pining for 4 fucking years.

this is probably the most important part to show to the viewer and they kinda just skipped over it. youre right, to leave us guessing on the emotional journey they went on to be where they were in ep. 7 is a huge failure narratively......sigh.

with dayeol and his cop thing.....when he quit archery, and said he "found a passion for something else" i actually threw my hands in the air. i was terrified he meant taehyun. like we can't have a crush or a relationship and still have interests and hobbies? i realize they were trying to say him meeting taehyun made him realize what being passionate about something really is and he came to the conclusion he was never really passionate about archery. but to jump from THAT to being a cop???????? like we could've had him had a convo with his dad in like 2 minutes about quitting archery and wanting to do something else and mentioning being interested in criminal justice. or was he still friends with minjung? maybe minjung couldve become a cop and that got him interested since he looked up to him? guess we will never know what happened to someone dayeol was quite close to?

all the things they missed by completely glossing over the time skip. i am choosing to believe time and budget constraints led to all these decisions. taehyun was dressed nicely but never mentioned interests or hobbies. he was class president even with all the things going on in his personal life. did he not grow any interests or hobbies? they literally never even mention things going on in the outside world besides dayeols cop journey. they dont even mention taehyun's friendship with soyeong - are they still close? she hangs out with dayeol but not taehyun? i get she had a crush on dayeol but still, how does that work and they dont meet for 2 whole years? ??? i really liked soyeong though as a side note she was the cutest.

in a perfect world this couldve been perfect i believe with time to flesh out the characters as adults because this was extremely rushed. i had high hopes bc of the other eps and the longer (by kbl standards) runtime, so i hoped that these things wouldnt be such a glaring issue but alas....we still have a ways to go.

i didnt read the source material so i wonder if that has anything to do with some of this as well. jaehan and yechan did an amazing job. i hope they act more whether together (i would die) or not (i would be seated regardless). i also hope this does well for omega x in general, they deserve it.

[the-unofficial-village-idiot]

Zombie by the Cranberries by Andrew Jackson Jihad by AJJ by [deadname]

by Mike [Redacted]

“... I don’t believe in anything / And I- I wanna be someone to believe / to believe…” You may recognize that as a line from Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, a band that I don’t even listen to, but I think about that lyric fairly regularly. I think about it because I don’t believe in anything, but I do want to believe. It’s like that cheesy alien t-shirt: “I want to believe.”

If this was a coming-of-age movie, this would be the record-scratch/freeze-frame, “Yeah, that’s me, you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation.” Well, I’ll tell you. I was a practicing Christian until the age of four. I know, I know, just enough time to get sprinkled with holy water but not enough time to eat the wafers. So, needless to say, I didn’t grow up believing in God.

I wanted to, though. I tried praying in fifth grade, but I’m impatient and nothing happened, so I decided not to put too much money on the whole omnipotent-being thing. In sixth grade I got really into Greek mythology. How many of you have read Percy Jackson? Yeah, that was my starting point too. But I told my mom I believed in the Greek gods and she asked me if I actually thought they were real—not in judgment, just in curiosity—and I came to the conclusion that I didn't. I just wanted to believe so bad I could almost feel it.

Like the line from Lies About Sea Creatures by Ada Limón: “Sometimes, you just want / something so hard you have to lie about it, so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute.” That’s what I want, a belief I can hold in my mouth. Something to chew on, to consider. I guess that’s why I’m agnostic. 

I considered believing in something, but I’m uncertain. I don’t like to count my eggs before I put them in the basket, much less before they hatch. What if I’m wrong? I have the guilt of a Catholic with none of the belief; if they’re to be believed, I’ll burn in hell for being queer. My partner recommended I convert to Judaism. I went as far as contacting a rabbi, but I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t. I can’t cement myself with one singular belief. I’m indecisive.

You might say “Mike, you don’t need religion to have a belief,” and I know that. I know I don’t need religion to have a belief. But I don't have a leg to stand on regardless. I always think about the line from The Great Gatsby, “conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes.” I have nothing but wet marshes beneath my conduct and by extension beneath my beliefs.

I’d like to believe humanity is inherently good, but it’s hard not to fall into misanthropy with the daily live-stream of death and destruction, beamed straight to my phone. People are being slaughtered on the news. How can I watch that and think “yeah, humanity is inherently good.” I’ll throw another quote at you, this one from the novel Good Omens: “most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused… by people being fundamentally people.” That I can put some money on; people are people. It’s a bit hard to argue with; people are, by definition, people. The reflexive property, for those of you that know geometry.

You may wonder why I’m throwing quotes at you left-and-right. It’s because I’m no artist. I hear things and I incorporate them into the haphazardly assembled quilt of my worldview. I’m just a kid—I am eighteen years old—and I’m supposed to have a solid worldview? It’s nothing but wet marshes. These quotes are a log I can stand on in the marsh. It isn’t solid, but it’s something.

Maybe I should’ve said that I’m a socialist, but I’ve never read Marx. I’m a lazy socialist, driven by the radical idea that everyone should be given the basic necessities unconditionally. Maybe I’m not a misanthrope. Maybe that’s just a cool word I heard in a Days N Daze song. That’s a band I do listen to, if anyone’s taking notes.

I will call myself a nihilist though. The one thing I’m sure of is that none of this matters. I only bother to keep trying out of perfectionism and a need to make someone—anyone—proud.

I'll even say I believe in Punxsutawney Phil, and in the symbolism of different numbers of crows. Not really, but for the bit. I'm more committed to the bit than to any belief. It's easier if it's a joke. I know the groundhog isn't immortal and can't really predict the weather. I know one crow doesn't foretell sorrow, two don't foretell joy. I pretend to believe for the bit. That's all it's ever been, I pretend to believe to be funny. I pretend to believe in hopes I'll feel something. 

Give me a revelation! Please! If there is a god, strike me down! I know you want to! I'm a queer agnostic! A perfect example! Give me a sign! Please give me a sign.

So, to conclude, I’m a fourteen-years-lapsed Christian with no solid worldview and a patchwork of quotes to hold onto in hopes of someday coming up with something. Something that lets me say “this I believe…” without feeling like a liar.

Just gave a speech called "Zombie by the Cranberries by Andrew Jackson Jihad by AJJ by [my deadname]" about my beliefs and I'm feeling sooooo menatlly ill <3

[hunxi-after-hours]

Hello! Firstly, thank you for everything that you do- your meta is always fascinating and your fic may have gotten me into ballet. Secondly- She Who Became The Sun: why is that book so good? I went in with such high expectations and yet somehow it completely met them!

words cannot contain how excited I am that folks are enjoying She Who Became the Sun!!!! look I just want the best things for Shelley Parker-Chan, all the time, okay

I feel like the reason SWBTS is so good is because it's so goshdarned competent on multiple levels of fiction writing, like:

plot: did you see that second-to-third act twist coming because I sure didn't

character: I feel like a lot of epic fantasy (or historical epic!) can struggle with humanizing their characters and allowing them to be flawed, hesitant people beyond their epic, prophesied purpose, but SPC manages to strike that careful balance between human and legend

themes: sometimes you read a book with excellent plot and characterization but then you get to the end of it and you're like "well, guess that was that" because when you actually look at it, the ideas and concepts in the book aren't all that complex. and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! I love rollicking good yarns! but SWBTS deals with some very morally gray characters and situations, especially with its main characters (love it when authors make their protagonists morally gray in a morally gray world, instead of morally pure in a morally gray world), and that's what gives it staying power in my mind

language: I lost my goddamn mind over SPC's use of translation and style in this book, the absolutely mind-boggling thing is that SWBTS reads like it's in translation and I'm just. yelling

content/concept: I mean, just like "founding of the Ming Dynasty but make it queer/historical fantasy/not at all what you'd expect" is just. SPC your MIND. and the fact that SPC sets their novel in identifiably Ming Dynasty China, from material details (can we talk about the scene where Ma is repairing armor with pages torn from books because holy shit) to place names to twists of language is so fucking cool. look, I respect authors who take their East Asian inspirations and set them in secondary world SF/F. in fact, I prefer those works (Ninefox Gambit my beloved), but for SPC to go "nah, I'm going to set it in what is identifiably China" is super fucking kickass, okay

novelty: Brandon Sanderson wrote a wild epilogue in Stormlight Archive where one of his characters (Hoid, I love you) muses on the nature of art, asking what is the most important thing in establishing the greatness of a work? And he comes to the conclusion that's not quality, nor is it ingenuity--it's novelty. It's doing something before anyone else does it. And I don't think anyone is doing it quite like SPC is--not Ken Liu, not R.F. Kuang, not Zen Cho (though don't get me wrong, those three authors are also creating incredible content). SPC really was like "I couldn't find any cdrama-like stories in English so I wrote my own" and then proceeded to do exactly that

tl;dr SWBTS is a tour de force on multiple levels