#i don't hate winter until those specific moments

[severinageto]

Eternals (Or one year since the airport)

Can the body feel without the soul?

Suguru trusted that something awaited him beyond. Some days he believed it more than others, but few can boast of having unshakable faith. So, when he felt his left arm, observed his youthful body, and examined the place awaiting him, he knew his belief hadn't been in vain. There he was, in the waiting area. For what? What else could happen when the finality of life had already taken place? A vast ocean on an empty beach would have made more sense. Even the darkness of Hades' hell. But no. Something had brought him to a plane that he sensed would not be just his own.

It didn't take long for him to realize what that ethereal place meant. He would need more than a pair of hands to count the times they'd been there, watching the screens, counting landings, and checking departures. "I hate flying, Suguru." "Why?" "Because it's so common." A playful shove, the luggage on the floor, the Ray-Ban store. Dozens of countries, hundreds of flights, and thousands of caresses. So, there he'd be, just like in his youth, sitting, reading, reflecting, until his eyes deigned to appear. He'd probably arrive late, just like always; late to their first date, late when he needed him, late to snatch away his life.

He wasn't wrong. A year, exactly. However, when he felt his presence, he couldn't help but ask himself: *Why did I keep waiting for him?*

"For the same reason he chose this day," he answered, looking sadly to the north.

“Sleep a little longer, Satoru”, he whispered to the soul starting to take form.

Gojo had thought about the possibility of dying before facing the cruel king of curses. He entertained the idea behind all the others but never materialized it into wills or declarations. Arrogant as always, he concluded it was no more than a slight probability, existing only because he had the misfortune of being mortal. "Nah, I'll win," he said, sure that the day would pass like any other.

Those who loved him had the bad luck of believing him.

Satoru, upon falling, felt nothing. There was no requiem, no eulogies. His heart simply stopped beating, and his soul crossed the plane dividing them. As he looked one last time at the vastness of the sky, a cold air, unlike any he had felt before, invaded his body. Yet he welcomed it gladly. He narrowed his eyes and breathed in the scent.

“Finally”, he murmured as the pressure in his veins disappeared.

Neither of them imagined that beyond life, the senses would be as sharp as when their lungs could still draw breath. Yet that first embrace, strong, intimate, almost suffocating, convinced them it was true. It wasn't until they inhaled each other's scent that they internalized the importance of something so basic, so corporeal, so earthly to both of them.

Satoru, in life, had never really thought about what the owner of his soul smelled like; "People don't smell like anything specific," he thought. However, when he rested his nose on that manly chest, the images that flooded his mind took him back to that lush, unique forest, to the clearing where he had often laid on his legs. "Move a little, Satoru." "Which way?" "Toward me." The spring flowers, the summer grass, the damp autumn soil, and the smoke from winter stoves—all had their own essence, one intertwined with that hint of incense that accompanied his caresses. It was the scent of camaraderie, of security, of intimacy.

"Sleep a little longer, Satoru," he'd say while combing his hair with his delicate fingers.

Over time, that same scent became painful for Satoru. Whenever he caught it, in some place or in something left behind, he felt a knot in his stomach—a mixture of nostalgia, sadness, and perhaps, just perhaps, a twinge of betrayal. His scent was something that lingered with him even after he was gone, something that still made Satoru feel that, in some way, his beloved curse manipulator remained the same person with whom he had shared so many moments. That he was still, after all, his partner, his lover, and his best friend.

"Sleep a little longer, Satoru," his deep voice from the window, the bare shoulder, the moonlight, and the glow of his cigarette outlining his delicate profile. A pitying look and a slammed door. His last earthly memory.

Suguru, on the other hand, was always sure of the notes generated by the strongest man's hormones. No wonder he watched him intently, as if there were nothing else to do on earth. The countless verses he dedicated to those sharp citruses in the intimacy of his notebooks. Satoru's scent reminded him of the mandarins they shared. Gojo would throw them at him, and he would peel them, while they talked, while they laughed, or while they were silent, always looking at each other as if they could see through each other's pupils. After all, it was a scent very fitting for the bearer of the Six Eyes. It evoked his electrifying personality, always standing out, for better or worse, from the rest of mere mortals.

From time to time, especially in the heat of summer, the albino's movements brought with them the freshness of his wild ocean. Free, expansive, as if he were one with the sky. For Suguru, that scent was the ultimate manifestation of his limitless technique; the ability to encompass everything belonged only to him and the untamable ocean.

"Can I sleep a little longer, Suguru?" he would ask between sighs when the first rays of sunlight illuminated his pale complexion. His fingers searching for his, an alarm clock against the wall, a warm embrace.

Once time did its work, Satoru's fragrance began to confuse him. The love he felt for those long hands, for the warmth of his breath, and the softness of his hair mingled with the painful reminder of what he left behind, with the resentment for what was broken, and the deep sadness for all that could have been but never was. The possibility of waking up to his snores, of caring for him during his colds, of scolding him for his careless attitude. Ultimately, the possibility of navigating youth while holding those long hands.

"Can I sleep a little longer, Suguru?" closed eyes, a raspy voice, bandages on the nightstand. The feeling that everything that had happened between them was the embodiment of the worst sin. A blink, a grunt, covering up again.

They would start again.

By the time death came for him, the scent of his beloved Six Eyes was a chemical manifestation of everything he had chosen to reject: the system, the structure he couldn't change, and, ultimately, him; with his magnificent strength, his figure, and the central axis of the world that, when he needed him most, gave him so much indifference. His scent, the embodiment of his greatest weakness. The slightest hint of his scent, of his purple scent, was a door to the past, to the memories he preferred to forget. To the moments when the love for his manic laughter, his strange occurrences, and his incredible intelligence knew no bounds. That fragrance was the last thing his body processed.

"Can I sleep a little longer, Suguru?" a flash of purple light, his world fading to black. The question that no longer had an answer.

If the soul is incapable of feeling without the body, then why, when they crossed paths again, did the power of chemistry act as if they had never separated? Why did hunger, burning passion, and desperate longing for the other's body take over them as if it were the first day? Why was something as simple and earthly as a scent able to anchor one person to another?

Because perhaps it was more than that. Perhaps the presence of a curse manipulator was bound to the birth of the Six Eyes heir. Perhaps where the existence of one began, the other's ended. Perhaps something as profane as this world would never be enough to contain a love as eternally sacred as the one they intoxicated themselves with.

Or maybe they were always two bodies and one soul.

Their soul.

Gojo's nose sank into Suguru's neck. The curse manipulator's left hand slid over the albino's waist. Satoru's right knee touched Suguru's left. Their fingers intertwined, their lips met, their scents mixed, and they became one entity again.

Perhaps the earth stopped for a moment, surprised; the love that moved it had finally resumed.

“Can I sleep a little longer, Suguru?”, he asked, resting on his legs, smiling flirtatiously.

“Sleep a little longer, Satoru”, he replied, as his delicate and soft hands welcomed him, eyes brimming with emotion.

Who would have thought an airport could feel like home?

The eternal home.

———————————✈️

©️ by https://x.com/yu7272s

[catapparently]

Autistic Kaz Headcanons

Requested by @randomfandom-3

not proofread (no headcanons are ever going to be)

Kaz had to learn to force himself to maintain eye contact in dire situations, but prolonged eye contact still secretly freaks him out.

When he was getting his first pair of gloves, he went through dozens of stores to try each possible pair on but the types and textures of fabric freaked him out

So, he got a specific type commissioned and it has a little subtle fidget thing on the side of the index finger that he can access and touch with his thumb

He fired the first Fabrikator he commissioned for his cane because the ridges on the crow head didn't feel right under his hand and it freaked him out

Nina keeps trash talking his haircut but she doesn't know that he purposely wants the sides very short because when he's doing something alone, he's always running his fingers over the strange but comforting texture of it

(Idk how to explain it but if you've ever felt short hair on a boy and how it feels you'll understand)

I can just imagine that Kaz, like a lot of other autistic people, has an atypical rhythm/pitch when he talks

He always has to be doing SOMETHING with his hands or another limb of his

In certain situations where he can't afford to be seen fidgeting, he runs his tongue repeatedly over the roof of his mouth

He's super obsessive over plans and order and perfect timing

He always has a set schedule and doesn't feel too well if he doesn't adhere to it

This could also be from the way he grew up but he doesn't really understand relationships (both platonic and romantic)

He doesn't really know how to act like himself around other people (not that he'd want to lmao but still)

Like that one scene at the beginning of the book when Inej was there and he just randomly took of his top and started washing himself with a washcloth in front of her, not even caring about her presence

Inej said she didn't know if she should feel insulted or flattered that either he felt comfortable enough with her or just didn't care about her

In reality Kaz just doesn't know social norms and couldn't really tell if it was a normal thing or not

He did it anyway because he couldn't stand another moment of being (I don't remember well, was he bloody or just covered in dirt? doesn't matter) dirty and had to be clean ASAP

He doesn't like washing with hot water

Now that he can actually afford it he's really picky with food because of their textures

Back in the day with Jordie he had to eat whatever he could find but he hated it at first and didn't eat anything until he fainted from starvation

He HATES cooked fish. Hates hates hates HATES it. He'd it it raw if he wasn't scared of getting sick. The texture when cooked is just so... dry and weird for him. Nuh-uh.

On the other hand he LOVES rare meat. It's perfect for him.

In the winter his skin gets dry under those gloves

He freaked out because of how his dry ass fingertips felt and nearly had a panic attack

As of that day he lathers his hands in hand cream to make sure they're nice and smooth

Overall he just really hates any abnormally textured surface that he's not used to / doesn't feel right to him

I hope it's to your liking! Thank you so much for requesting.

[uneducated-author]

I got a present from a student of mine, a beautiful hardcover copy of 'Howl's Moving Caste' and I'm so happy, but it does remind me of what 10 (AND A HALF) year old me did when she found out that it wasn't in my local WHSmith.

Full of rage and vitriol I knocked on the door of every classroom in my school (I was a renowned introvert, so this was EXTREMELY out of character) and politely asked if anyone had a copy. I received Many Many Many rejections. Inconsolable I lay in the library and wept. Then, like a beacon from the dark, the librarian miraculously told me that when I'd asked earlier she was mistaken and 'oh, I think we have it actually! It's just in loan'

I've looked back in this moment with the benefit of hindsight and realised that the librarian, who knew me as the girl who'd hide from bullies in the reading room and spent lunch hours organising books, must have elected to specially order the book for me, and it makes an already sweet moment even sweeter.

But a week later, I was distraught again. The winter holidays were coming up. I would loose access to the only library that had this treasure. I was holding Diana Wynne Jones masterpieces in my hands, despairing against my upcoming tragedy, until it came to me. The perfect solution.

I just had to write the whole book.

'Oh you fool, you could not write three books in a week'

I could sure as hell try.

I was in a frenzy. I would shovel breadsticks into my mouths and fervently write at lunch. I stayed up late and wrote by torchlight.

(Honestly, I probably could have written by lamp, but torchlight felt more dramatic and I lived for the feeling it evoked.)

I wrote in my reading class, permitted because I'd finished the list of books and the assorted quizzes. I wrote in friday PE because the friday teacher never took attendance and nobody cared if a young girl had locked herself in the bathroom for an hour, scribbling away.

I learned how to write with my left hand, but I was too slow if I wanted it to be legible, so I worked through the pain.

So? Did I finish? Was my fervent effort rewarded? Books had to be returned to the library on Thursday so I didn't even have Thurday night. Would the fortnight be enough?

Sort of. I finished my transcription of 'Howl's Moving Castle' and 'Castle in the Air' but couldn't move on to the final book in the trilogy. Hence started my winter vacation. I poured through the story, luxuriating in the rereading. I impressed my mother with my skill in making whipped cream, turns out mixing is much less intensive than furtive writing.

And on Christmas, I opened a beautiful collection of three paperbacks. I reread those books until I could recite swathes from each, and memorised the whole first chapter, which I'd murmur to my younger cousins.

I passed those books down to a younger girl in the neighbourhood, who passed them down to her sister, who gave them to a friend who lost them on a holiday. I have no idea where they are now.

But I have a book, from a student who loves reading where she used to hate it, and revels in a story with happy ending and good characters.

I don't know if there's some greater meaning to this. But I love the story, and it's come back to me. And my wrist almost hurts remembering almost 100,000 words for this story, but I can't help remember how much I wanted it.

Sometimes I think 'do I have that passion now? Is there anything I'd care about to that extent, until it hurts, until I hate it?'

I was so foolish, but so so alive and that week feels impossible. I talked to strangers! I transcribed a book! I didn't give up, not for a second!

(In fact two years later I did the same thing for Good Omens, transcribing the copy at my library over the period of a whole Summer. I purchased a copy a year after that, and gave it to a friend last year.)

I'm proud, of what ten and a half year old me did. Not because it was specifically moral, or impressive. Because of how much she loved something that she resolved to do anything to keep it with her.

The frantic handwriting is unfamiliar to me. It's spidery and smudged. The paper seems unbelievably thin, and the script uneven and unlevelled. A whole chapter has been lost to water damage. I barely have any of the book memorised. I keep it all the same because ten (and a half) year old me would weep if I lost it.

A heart is a heavy burden. But I poured mine into a strangers words, and then into those pages. I can't give them away.

[bloody-wonder]

top 5 villains in fiction? Or alternatively, top 5 antagonists, totally up to you.

thank youuuuu :)

lol so i'm very obnoxious about what kind of character does or does not constitute a villain/an antagonist so these are like top 5 that passed that rigorous selection process

graham reid malett aka gabriel (the lymond chronicles). so my problem with villanous characters is that i'm a contrary bitch and when authors want me to really hate someone i usually end up either not caring either way or actively rooting for them lmao. but with gabriel dunnett managed to create someone truly terrifying and compelling at the same time. he's sort of a variation on lymond himself in the sense that he's what other characters think lymond should be - he's a version of lymond that conforms. or seems to conform, to put it more accurately, but that's the horror of it all - being a good man vs. seeming like one, and who's to say what's more important in the grand scheme of things? so the depiction of how any reasonably talented sociopath can charm his way to power and none will be the wiser is very realistic and scary but also - his villain monologues? outstanding. his gaslighting game? virtuoso. the homoerotic tension with the hero? off the charts. yet to be dethroned as my favorite villain of all time.

azula (avatar: the last airbender). i just like how cool and competent and dramatic she is and tbh the gaang were able to beat her only bc she conveniently got a bad case of mommy issues at the end. the last agni kai lives in my mind rent free - truly one of the greatest moments of cinema history.

milady de winter (the three musketeers, especially the 1978 adaptation). i knoooow she's the problematic femme fatale trope or whatever but i don't care. she's the blueprint. she has that sad backstory of being used and abused by men but i don't even particularly care about that either. she's an evil spy ladyboss i connected with on a neurological level when i was 11 and i have loved seeing her winning battles and losing wars again and again ever since.

lord voldemort (harry potter). tbh just a classic nostalgic "i want dominion over everything" kind of villain who at the same time represents evil and insidious real world ideologies that we like to think we defeated once and for all until they rise again - and in a very ironic fashion too, given by whomst this particular villain has been authored. i like voldemort's iconography and origin story but i also like how at the end of the day he remains a "flat" sort of villain with none of that boohoo nonsense. like, seriously, sometimes one needs less snivelling and more "there is no good and evil, there is only power and those too weak to seek it". i like the trope of having to collect a number of macguffins and do things in a very specific way in order to defeat him - and it does feel satisfying to see the characters finally accomplish it.

shen jiu (the scum villain's self-saving system). lol unlike in the case of milady i do care about shen jiu's backstory insofar as it means he has done nothing wrong ever in his life but he's on this list bc he's the titular scum villain and the book itself is about interrogating the roles people play in each other's lives and how those can be reframed if we change the perspective of the narrative. shen jiu is the villain bc luo binghe is the protag - the book tells us so on the meta level. but then as shen yuan learns more about shen jiu - and especially when we read the extra stories from shen jiu's pov - "villain" does not apply anymore as per my very specific criteria lol. in this regard shen jiu is also notable for asking one of the realest questions: while trying to get him to reconcile with liu qingge yue qingyuan says something like "do him a kindness and he'll return it tenfold" - to which shen jiu replies "ah but that's the thing - why should i be the one to be kind first?". bc if you think about it "why should i be the one to break the cycle of violence?" is one of the fundamental villain questions.

[chuckling-chemist]

31 Days of Fanstuck Day 4 Mayola: Enter

“Alright. We’re good. I’m in. Man that was fucking weird.”

Mayola spoke into the voice-enabled chat service to her server player, but the quick ping she gave meant it immediately went to received. She let out a long, irritated breath through her nose. Okay. So Pallia was busy. Big deal. She’d get to it eventually. Right now she had to focus on more important things.

Like, was it freezing fucking cold here all of a sudden, or was she just shivering for no reason?

Mayola walked over to the nearest window, the one that looked out from her kitchen into the rest of the world. Back on Alternia, it was one of the best looks out onto the very ocean where her hive precariously sat above. Every step of her bare feet against the wood of her floor sent another rack of shivers through her body. Her shoes, her favorite pink pumps with the knives hidden away in one of Aisral’s mechanisms, still sat inside her strife specibus. At some point after knocking out a bunch of pink gremlins, she accidentally unequipped them and never had the chance to put them back on. 

Something she should ideally do. After she figured out where the hell she was.

She heaved herself up onto the countertop, sitting on her knees just so to cover them up with the thick fabric of her dress as opposed to exposed to the open air and looked out with despair.

Her hive still sat over water. It sat over the white ice of what looked to be some sort of massive frozen lake. Out in the distance she could just make out the barest hint of snow drifts, complete with the powdery bullshit falling gently onto the ground.

A growl grew in the back of Mayola’s throat. Snow. Cold. Hell. 

There was a reason she lived in the south. Not like Sandyhorn’s bizarre weather patterns ever fixed that particular problem.

She took her shoes out of her specibus and slid them back onto her cold feet before getting back onto the floor. It wasn’t much, but even the small comfort was enough to get her from the kitchen into her bedroom and switch out her clothes to something warm. It took some time, but she managed to whip together an outfit to keep her warm from an old cloak she alchemized with a scarf to make a fur-lined black coat, as well as a relatively plain long-sleeved dress that Aisral made her once out of cold-resistant, waterproof material. Just to be safe, she alchemized her heels with a pair of snow boots to make a pair of fuzzy pink boots with retractable knife-heels. 

Finally warm, Mayola tramped out onto ice, coat bundled tightly around her to stop the wind biting through it. Abaiasprite, previously meandering somewhere in the hive with her newfound ability to explore land, flew up to her the second the door opened and followed closeby. 

“Are you sure you’re warm enough, my child?” she asked.

Mayola smirked. “Warm as I can be,” she said.

The great ghostly eel nodded. She might have the ability to verbalize, at the end of the night it was still her lusus. Abaia never questioned her more aberrant qualities. 

To both of their benefit, the ice covering the water was thicker than she envisioned earlier. Thick enough it did not crack as she shuffled onward through the wind. It also, for whatever reason, wasn’t accumulating much snow. Which was good for her. If she had to suffer through the “one step forward, half a step back” experience of walking through the snow, she’d have to turn back now just to make some trail mix.

She tapped the mic to turn it back on for a second. “Hey Shorty, how cold does it have to be for a whole goddamn lake to freeze over?”

MESSAGE RECEIVED: ??:?? STATUS: Unread

Goddamn it. 

“A lake freezes at less than 32 degrees, with layers of ice adding for every fifteen days it stays below frozen temperatures. A world like this has probably been frozen a long time,” Abaiasprite noted. “That said, I do not believe this is a lake.”

Mayola laughed. The chilly wind hurt the inside of her mouth. And were her nostrils freezing? That’s what it felt like. “If this ain’t a lake, what is it?”

“We will find out when we reach land.”

For both of their sakes, when was less time than imagined. The surprising flatness of the land threw off her ability to judge distance, and the snow banks collecting on portions of the ice made the first true island of actual land filled with real snow virtually impossible. So when she stumbled upon an igloo that only came up to her waist off to the side, sitting atop a mass of brighter white than the off-white of the ice she’d been walking on, Mayola nearly missed it. It had only been thanks to Abaiasprite poking her with that ghostly tail and pointing toward it that alerted her to its presence.

(Remind me to combine her with something that has fucking arms.)

She didn’t need to announce her presence to any residents. The loud crunch of the snow managed to be heard even over the whistle of the wind against the lake. It alerted the owner of the tiny little igloo, and an equally tiny bright blue basilisk hobbled out onto the snow. He held a curious looking cane, one with a pink-looking serpent twisting around from the base for the beast’s head to form as the handle.

“Uh...hello?”

The basilisk looked up to the heiress with a friendly smile. “Greetings, maiden. We’ve been waiting for you. How do you fare on our beautiful planet?”

Mayola couldn’t help herself. “I’m fucking cold is what I--ow!”

Abaiasprite smacked her with her tail and, despite the limited facial expressions she could have, managed to shoot her a glare that could kill. 

“I ain’t used to this fuckin’ weather’s all. Which, where the hell’m I?”

The little basilisk chuckled, cane tapping into the snow for emphasis. So at least he had a sense of humor. “Ah, maiden of the winds, servant to the breeze, you have finally landed where you should be. You are the Land of Frost and Chimes, the planet eternally in winter.”

[notebooks-and-laptops]

I have a lot of emotions specifically about a Bull who never did Demands of the Qun. Because that version of Bull? The one who never had to chose? The one who compartmentalised until it killed him (quite literally)? What is that Bull thinking about in the end? When he sneaks through the Eluvians after the inquisitor on the orders of his superiors...what is his thought process? Does he hope Krem can get the Chargers out of range if the Qunari succeed? Does he hate himself for thinking that? Is he glad if Dorian is left behind at the Winter Palace so he doesn't have to witness the Bull betray him - Dorian who has already been betrayed by so many people he loves in his life? Does he know he's going to his death?

And the thing is...I don't even think that Bull would fight that hard. Bull knows all the inquisitors moves, and the companions. He's spent ages studying it, fighting beside it, incorporating it into his own style so they work as a team. And Bull stands at this crossroads and it's like...sure, he'll stand with the qunari but he doesn't want to. He just never had to chose before now and he's not had the space to work it out. And if he survives? Either way his world ends. Either he's lost the chargers, the inquisitor, dorian, his friends. Or he's lost the Qun and is locked away behind bars forever (or worse). So what? What then? So he doesn't survive. That simple. He goes down when the inquisitor fights him and he bleeds out and he is so so so so so alone in those moments. The inquisition hates him. He didn't fight the way he should have for the Qun.

And I DO have a fic based on this premise planned eventually, but like. God its painful to imagine. Its so painful. I just. It makes me want to cry to know that if never tested, Bull just does as he's told. And I wonder if it would have been different if Krem was there? Like in the inquisitiors party. Because their friendship is so integral to Bulls identity as The Iron Bull and I think if Krem begged him so stop...Bull would. Idk.

[swashbucklery]

I'd just like to put it out there that I have been really enjoying your thoughts on Bridgerton and would be absolutely delighted to hear literally anything else you have to say about it. Especially if it's related to Eloise Bridgerton being a lesbian or Kate Sharma exploring her sexuality. Hope you're having a lovely day

Oh my god anon okay. OKAY.

Because here is the thing I like Bridgerton but I also hate it. I love it like Kate Sharma loves Anthony which is to say that I sit down in front of it and spend 53 minutes SEETHING and going UGH WHY CAN'T YOU BE BETTER and then spend 7 minutes enjoying myself and well. Here we are.

And I stand behind my feelings in this post because I feel like that was the piece that like. Kate is SO GOOD and she's FASCINATING but I feel like she sort of fell victim to her own success in some ways. They did such a good job of making her SO tough SO independent SO closed off that then when she had to break apart it just - it was fine but it didn't LAND, you know? And it gets me because I wanted it to land so much.

Which: this is always fraught and I don't want to get into the idea of "good" romance or "bad" romance because the fact of the matter is that romance is a matter of taste. Things that one person finds unspeakably romantic and deeply erotic are going to be another person's hard squicks and there are limits to how much it can be universalized.

But if they were going to fix Bridgerton to cater specifically to ME then:

- Eloise is a lesbian she’s a FUCKING lesbian she and Pen are in love and neither of them know what to do about it because they don’t have the language to interpret their feelings so they’re just being awful garbage teens about it. Pen got so upset about Eloise liking a boy that she fucking rUINED HER NAME in the SOCIETY PAPERS by IMPLYING THAT SHE WAS A SLUT like fuck Lady Whistledown that’s not what it was about IT WAS ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT WAS ELOISE AND A BOY WHO WASN’T PENELOPE.

- Eloise who saw enough pieces to the puzzle and had that horrible shaking realization and it wasn’t about the clues like the type of ink or the printing at all that undid the secret. It was about the ways that she noticed Pen’s words and the ways that those words were always informed by Eloise. The context of complaining to Pen about something and then Lady Whistledown agreeing with her the following week. The context of Eloise being ~ruined and Pen not writing again. The way that she sees how guilty Pen is but also the absolute and utter unforgivability of what she’s done because Eloise is so - she’s so noble, she has these beautiful ideals that she truly believes in because she’s still so young in a lot of ways. And it’s not that Pen said the thing or that Eloise’s reputation is harmed it’s the breach of trust it’s the deep intimacy of their friendship being broken open at its foundation.

- It’s the way that neither of them have ever really cried, ever really been hurting, and suddenly when they’re betrayed by the other it’s the most mortal wound imaginable

- Anyway somewhere out there is a universe where Eloise mopes about Pen for an entire winter and doesn’t write once, and Pen tries to do something ugly. Something awful, something vicious and dramatic and when Eloise doesn’t react it’s more than she can possibly bear.

- Pen who tries over and over to get Eloise to notice her because Eloise’s indifference is intolerable

- Eloise who refuses to react, refuses to engage, is perfectly civil and appropriate and doesn’t given Penelope a single drop of ammunition until Penelope finally cracks. It’s not Pen being mean that undoes her it’s the moment when Penelope says, with real genuine pain in her voice, heart in throat, that she misses her.

- The way that they’re both shaking with the intensity of what they’re feeling. (They’re in an orangerie, they must be, trees and the smell of citrus penning them in while they’re looking out a conservatory window at the party below, everyone lit up like little jewels)

- The moment when Eloise breaks, and it’s about the tears and it’s about how angry she is and it’s about how she missed Penelope every single day and she couldn’t even bear to say it after what Penelope did.

- It’s these two tearing each other up and fighting and crying and at the end of it they’re both exhausted, slumped against each other, all fought out and wrung out.

- It’s that moment when Eloise’s hand is resting on her lap and Penelope laces their fingers together and something shifts. Like the floor is less even. Like suddenly they’re noticing something they can never unsee. Suddenly their faces are so close and they’re both just raw and exhausted and they don’t think: it just happens.

- That first kiss and it turns into this absolutely consuming, absolutely overwhelming bodice-ruffling makeout session and it’s Penelope that panics first because Everyone Will Know and Eloise like: why, are you going to fucking tell them and it’s such a mess, they finally fixed things and now it’s a mess all over again

- But also what if Penelope stopped being awful. What if she kissed Eloise and left for a few weeks and then realized that she was being so mean because of her pent-up gayness and just like. . .calmed down.

- IDK what happens then probably a lot of drama but I think it ends with one of them entering into a sham marriage with a lovely gay gentleman and then living comfortably in a country house with the other partner and the gay gentleman’s boyfriend as their ~live in companions~. Eloise is given a small allowance and uses it to write novels under a male pseudonym. It’s wonderful.

[ayamturd]

hey yams! I have a color fic request and was wondering if you could write one for the color #2A363B? (and like some kind of bonus point if it's angst) (you don't have to do angst)

aegean lead│wilbur soot

warnings: angst (i accept any and all bonus points)

pairing: in-game romantic!wilbur

a/n: this is the first thing i’ve written in days, pls be kind lol

based off of this photo <3

“Wilbur,” you sneered.

“Y/n,” he crooned.

Standing across one another, on the remains of a battlefield incased as a bottle of glass to display, were two lovers torn by death and decay. 

Death by the very corruption that swept the valley they stood in, and decay of a precious love that faded in a bitter drag of time. 

While you frowned, Wilbur grinned like a madman. The sight of you made his eyes narrow in satisfaction, your clear displeasure of his revival only adding more to his smile. You practically shook from the anger that coursed through you; the shivering rage only rivaling the cold morning breeze.

The spring wind followed with the rising sun, the season and light signifying the beginning after a cold winter night. However, this was a tale you refused to write again, a heartache you refused to blindly cry towards.

Wilbur died. Despite at the hands of an emotionally weak father, he died nonetheless. His song ended, his song with you, specifically, ended. 

Fate was known to be cruel, but history taught you to know better. To be better in the face of a crooked smile that only shadowed a proud man you once promised to stand by. 

“Oh my darling, how good it is to see you again.”

“Don’t,” you growled. Though your throat felt tight from the emotions you tried to swallow down, you chose to pretend otherwise. “Don’t.”

The moment you had learned of his return, all rational thoughts left you. All pride and recovery was lost in those simple words, those innocent words from a struggling boy that carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, only now to burden the return of the brother he loved and faulted. 

You had hugged Tommy tightly, whispering small promises in reassurances before running. 

Running back to him. 

Yet here you were, and nothing could be said beyond the grief that overwhelmed you. It hurt, in simple words, to see him again. The realization that you now breathed the same air as him was even worse, and you had to steady yourself when your grimace weakened your stance. 

Wordlessly, you moved to grab something inside your coat. You admittedly moved slowly, your mind cautious by the threat Wilbur imposed on your newfound peace. 

You hated the amusement he held from your shaken form, your glare returned with a chuckle. 

His laugh died once spotting what you held out. The thick material, while insignificant to any who spotted it, carried more weight than you both would care to admit. 

The dark, blue-greyish beanie was old and worn. It lived through revolutions and wars, seen laughs and cries, and even worse of all, was a foolish vow of love.

“That’s…”

“Yes,” you firmly scowled, voice quiet yet rough. “It’s yours, now take it.”

He hummed, before composing himself with a fond glint in his eyes. 

“It was, until I gave it to you.” 

He crossed his arms proud, his smirk only pushing you further as you took an impulsive step forwards. You opened your mouth to yell, but he spoke before you could try. 

“Say what you might, love, but I refuse to take it back.”

You paused, infuriated, before looking down to the useless thing. Your sight was blurred, and you touched your cheek to realize you were crying. 

Meeting his eyes, you let your tears fall as your hand dropped the beanie in turn. 

“Then let it stay where you killed our love.”

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

Rays! Every moment is always a good moment to talk about HitsuHina! I wanna rec a song for them, she likes spring i prefer winter. I found it perfect for them, I've even saved it in one of my HH playlists. Lilies of the valley and daffodils are mentioned (well actually marigolds too so it could maybe work as a kirahina song as well >.<). I thought you might like it as well. Anyway, because I was back in a HitsuHina mood I went through the bleach wiki again, and found out that the 5th division's

Nice as always to see an ask from you!! When isn't there a good moment to talk about this ship?!

Thanks for the song recommendation, I've now added to one of the playlists I use when I write for hitsuhina :3 I also really like the album cover art, it also gives me hitsuhina vibes! In return, I'll recommend a song too: A Million Miles Away (English Version) from Belle. I saw the subbed version of this movie recently and adored this song. I've listened to both the Japanese and English versions, but when I heard the latter I just couldn't help it, I ended up imagining hitsuhina while listening to the first half. Specifically, with lyrics like "At times I've thought 'I'm not enough', The chains that tied my heart, But there's still a path that lies ahead for you and I", the song made me imagine when Momo is recovering and Toshiro is training, where there's a distance between them but they're on each others minds and trying to decide the best way forward. I also highly recommend listening to the Japanese version, it's just as beautiful and the lyrics are pretty similar.

It took me so long to realise her hair cloth was the same colour as her division's, but it's a nice touch! I wonder if they'll do something like this in the upcoming anime with ribbon of her hair clip. On a side note, her latest hairstyle with the hair clip that has the fifth division's insignia on a pale turquoise background is a really nice touch; I just wonder how she manages to style her hair like that every morning! XD

I feel like I've talked about the aptitude test before, but regardless there's a few things I've always found interesting about it. For those not aware, BLEACH Color Plus includes an aptitude test where you start the test by off choosing whether you're 'literary oriented' or 'sports oriented' and from there you needs to answer either 'yes' or 'no' to a statement and follow the corresponding lines towards the next ones until you get to the end. Here's some things I found interesting about it (not all are hitsuhina-related, but I don't know when else I'll be able to bring these up):

When you get towards the end of that test, there are two ways to get the 10th division as your final answer: you either say 'yes' to to “If it’s for my childhood friend, I’ll endure anything.” or you say 'no' to “Samurai don’t go back on their word. I practice what I preach.” The first statement speaks for itself, but the second one has always intrigued me. Because in a way...it does happen with Toshiro. He stands by his principles and practices what he preaches as a captain until something concerning someone he cares about gets in the way. We see this two times:

When he says a Gotei 13 captain swings their sword out of duty alone, and for one to wield a sword out of hatred is just violence and not a true battle; in essence, Aizen is not 'captain material'. All of this goes flying out the window the moment Aizen mentions Momo coming to Fake Karakura Town, and Toshiro admits there's hatred in sword, that he didn't come here to fight, that he came to 'cut down [Aizen] with violence' (side note: I remember there was a translation where he says "I came here to violently hack you to pieces"; perhaps it's over the top, but this remains my favourite version of that panel because it conveys just how much Toshiro hates Aizen). Keep in mind Color Plus came out in 2007, a couple of years before this moment.

He always asks everyone to refer to him by his rank (though he often doesn't extend the same courtesy to other captains and lieutenants) and takes his job as captain seriously, but when confronted by Aizen and having his true feelings toward him exposed, he says he'll gladly give up his captaincy so he can kill him.

Toshiro, despite his outward stoicism and coldness, is actually a very emotions-driven person, especially when it comes to those he cares about. It's for that reason I think he cannot always stand by what he preaches; because the moment someone he cares about is threatened/ in need of help and there's no way within the Soul Society's laws/ethos to help them, he'll forgo it all to protect, help, or avenge them. There's also the fact he hasn't been a captain for as long as the other captains, so the role, while important to him, doesn't have as much weight to him as the others who have been captains for decades.

Most of the straightforward paths incorporate elements of both the captain and lieutenant of each division, but the straight forward path to getting fifth division involves statements that pertain to Aizen only, with nothing involving Momo (except maybe at the start where you pick that you're "literary orientated"). You say 'yes' to all of these statements to get straight to fifth division: "Tea is a man's pastime", "If I had to choose between dried permission and dried potato, I would definitely pick dried permission", "My eyeglasses are essential", and "I have confidence in my calligraphy skills".

Third division's paths are interesting. The straight forward one involves saying 'yes' to "Tea is a man's pastime" and "If I had to choose between dried permission and dried potato, I would definitely pick dried permission", no to "My eyeglasses are essential", then 'yes' to "Women should be heroic too", 'no' to "I love words like 'tactics' and 'schemes'.", and then finally 'yes' to "I still have childhood friends that I'm close to". Definitely get some Ginran vibes from this one ;) The slightly less straight forward one is if you said 'yes' to "I love words like 'tactics' and 'schemes'.", you go to "I prefer black tea to coffee"; saying 'no' to this leads straight to third division(...I guess Gin didn't enjoy Aizen's tea breaks in Hueco Mundo then).

Side note: conversly, if you choose 'yes' to "I prefer black tea to coffee" this leads you to "I'm told I get into fights easily.", which if you say 'yes' to you'll get eleventh division, so...Kenpachi and/or Yachiru like black tea confirmed??

Back to what you mentioned though: yes, that description gets me every time! Especially with the caption in the description 'To remain close friends, even though one is a captain and the other an assistant captain, is a beautiful thing.', it applies to both Toshiro and Rangiku. They both get what it means to be close to someone you've known since childhood, to want to fight for them and know what's on their mind.

I've often wondered that myself, if he wanted to be in the same division as her. I think, as you said, afraid of getting hurt and not wanting to split her from Aizen, he chose not to ask her.

Also, considering he has only been a captain for less than 10 years, I think plays a role in it too; he's gotten used to the role by the time the main story happens, but I imagine up until that point he was trying to find his way in being a captain. Maybe in the early days of the role he wondered what it would be like for Momo to be his lieutenant - like him, she's hardworking, thinks deadlines should be upheld, and is considerate of her division members. However, as he worked more with Rangiku as his lieutenant, he came to see they were a good team that balanced each other out. Afterwards, I couldn't see him instating Momo as his lieutenant, and even if he really wanted her to be in his division, he wouldn't want to take a title she worked tirelessly to get from her.

That being said, I love reading fanfics where Rangiku is out of action (usually because she's sick or on a mission in the World of the Living) and Momo becomes a temporary lieutenant for the tenth division. I've even thought about writing a fic like that myself, where Rangiku is sick, the third fourth seats are on leave, and Shinji is visiting the World of the Living to catch up with the Visords for a week. Momo, seeing Toshiro getting overwhelmed by paperwork and trying to run his division, offers to be a temp. lieutenant, helping him with paperwork and overseeing training exercises while he gets on with other duties. It's harder than it looks though, even with the help of her third seat back at her division. However, she in part feels she owes Toshiro and Rangiku, who helped with her paperwork while she was unwell after Aizen's betrayal.

I'll leave it here, but thanks a lot for sending this in!! I'm always up for talking any and all things hitsuhina :D

[taylorlynn-art]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389981/chapters/69563280

✨ “Untouchable” ✨

Digital drawing ✍🏻 04/14/2021

Drops of Starlight

By: StrawberryMoonRose

Summary:

It's the year 2000 and Crystal Tokyo never came to be. The Starlights visit Earth to find Usagi raising baby Chibi-Usa on her own. Seiya struggles to admit she wants to be more than just friends, while Usagi's old feelings for Seiya resurface. But is that the worst of their problems when a new threat has followed them and ghosts from the past return?

Chapter 1: Back in the Atmosphere

📖

What's this sudden burst of energy? It can't be. Those three have left the planet? Yes, it seems. Left their Princess in the hands of the others. What fools. As I suspected, they have no idea they just provided me with the opening I need, the opening I've been waiting all these years for.

Fighter... Healer... Maker... I hope you enjoy your journey to Earth.

Because I'm coming with. And I'll be waiting for you there.

Waiting for the perfect chance...

🌏

The trip from Kinmoku left Sailor Star Fighter buzzing when they landed. After what felt like minutes, but she knew was days of galactic travel to another star system, they were here.

Earth. More specifically, Tokyo, Japan. The year 2000. And apparently winter because snowflakes danced down around them like confetti. Seiya stumbled back, blinded by the sudden brightness. The crisp city air of this planet almost took her back instantly. It had been seven years since they'd left this very same rooftop. So much had happened, so many years passed. But for a moment, it seemed only seconds ago.

“I'll never get used to that trip," Sailor Star Maker complained. She pinched the crease between her eyebrows as if massaging away a headache.

Sailor Star Healer chattered her teeth animatedly. She hugged her petite frame with her leather gloved arms. "Damn! S-S-Some weather here. Ugh."

Fighter stared at the spot before them, the same spot she had stood that last time they'd seen each other... Doused in the golden hour sunset, the blonde had glowed like an angel. That black cat Yaten had a thing for, draped around her shoulder like a scarf... What was her name again? Oh yeah, Luna.

The icy air rose goosebumps to Fighter's exposed skin. Their sailor guardian outfits were not suitable for this kind of temperatures.

"Let's let our transformations go," Fighter instructed.

"Are we using our previous disguises?" asked Maker.

Healer wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, not this time. You know how much I hated being a boy. It's been so long, I don't think I could get used to it again."

Fighter chuckled. "Well, there really is no need to disguise ourselves as the Three Lights anymore. Actually, it's probably best we take on our true forms. We still might be recognized if we're men."

"Agreed," Maker said.

In unison the three Sailor Starlights were enveloped in a flash of light that disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Ah, much better." Yaten tugged on the fluffy earmuffs and brushed a whisp of silver bangs off her face with her mittens.

"I'm glad I listened to you about dressing warm, Taiki!" Seiya said. "You were right. Even though it was hot as hell in this getup when we left our planet."

"Naturally, Seiya." The tall brunette smiled and flipped her scarf over her shoulder. Somewhere in the distance "Jingle Bells" could be heard playing.

"So now what?" Yaten said impatiently. "We don't exactly belong in high school anymore, so maybe we should get off school property?"

"Good point," Seiya agreed. Three twenty-something women hanging out on the Juban High School roof would definitely seem odd.

The trio headed down the stairs, moving quickly, but silently. It wasn't until they reached the bottom level that they realized the school was nearly deserted and the coast was clear.

It must be a Friday around 4 o'clock, Seiya thought as they slipped past one of the club rooms that echoed voices mentioning the words "manga" and "did you read the latest issue of...?" Seiya smiled inwardly. Crazy after all these years I still remember a detail like that. Bun Head used to get so excited for manga club at the end of each week.

The Starlights made it off school property without any suspicious looks and followed the sidewalks of Tokyo across town. The city was for the most part, as they remembered it. Civilian bundled up and walking fast through traffic lights, sirens blaring in the distance, the occasional honking vehicle.

"Where are you two headed first?" Seiya asked, her hands in her pockets. She could see her breath when she spoke.

"We'll make do, Seiya," Taiki said slowly, knowingly. "See what state our apartment is in above our old studio... Perhaps eat at that favorite diner of mine. Then look for the girls downtown... After all, this impromptu visit wasn't exactly planned out by a travel guide. We couldn't let them know we were coming in advance, so we'll just have to find them the old fashioned way. I'm confident I can get in contact with Ami somehow or another, wherever she is these days.”

Seiya stalled. “Okay, sounds good.”

There were a couple beats of heavy silence.

"Just go see her, Seiya," Yaten blurted before she could help it. A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her pale lips. "We know that's what you want to do."

Seiya ducked her head, grinning in relief. "Thanks. I'll catch up with you guys in a while."

🏡

Twenty minutes later, Seiya stood before the old two-story white home with clay shingles. The white fence obscured her view, but green shrubbery still peeked out, dusted in a fresh layer of snow that resembled powdered sugar.

Just as I remember it, she thought to herself with a nostalgic smile. Seiya half expected the bun-headed girl to appear on the balcony in pajamas and the raspberry-haired toddler in bunny jammies on one hip.

A distant longing echoed in her heart for both of them. And suddenly Seiya wanted nothing more than to see them in person, though she knew Chibi Chibi had returned to wherever she had come from on that long ago day.

This is it, Bun Head. I'm here. How are you? What have you been up to all these years? Did you miss me? Tell me everything. I can't wait!

Seiya pushed open the gate and strode right up to the front door and pressed the doorbell before she changed her mind. She rocked slightly on her heels while she waited for an answer.

I can't believe I'm about to see her again. What do I say? It's probably fine to go in for a hug, right?

"Coming!" an unfamiliar voice echoed. Before Seiya could second guess herself, the door swung open and a woman in her late forties stood before her. Even with her purple hair and tall frame, Seiya recognized the warmth in her confused eyes.

Bun Head's mother.

"Oh. Um, is Bun-. Uh, Usagi home?" Seiya found herself blushing all of a sudden. What am I, still a sixteen year old boy?

Ikuko Tsukino dried her hands on her apron while eyeing Seiya from head to toe. Seiya wondered what she thought of her Kinmokian fashion - dark trousers, red fleece unisex coat, knit cap and gloves. It the closest thing to Earth's fashion she had back home.

"Um, no. She moved out after the wedding last fall. She's still in that apartment of theirs, despite everything. I keep trying to convince her to move back home, but that girl..."

"Oh." Seiya sucked in a quick breath of air. It froze her lungs in an instant. Her heart beat in double time. Wedding?

"Say, you look quite familiar. Forgive me, I'm awful with names anymore."

Seiya hesitated. "Yes, I went to high school with her. I've been overseas for quite some time now.. I haven't been able to be in touch unfortunately. I didn't know she was married, but... I mean, that does make sense. I guess a lot has happened..."

"That's for sure," Ikuko muttered. Her body language shifted, one hand on her hip and her head shook ever so slightly in what came across as disgust.

The Starlight a tiny step back, confused by her reaction. "Well, thank you, Mrs. Tsukino, for your help. Sorry to bother you."

"No problem at all, darling. It's 630B Hoshino Avenue, by the way. By the Crescent movie theater." Her eyes crinkled when she smiled. Seiya had never met Usagi's mother before, but she was exactly as she would have imagined. She had an overall warm presence.

"I appreciate it." Seiya gave a small bow, a gesture that felt natural after all this time. "It was nice to meet you."

"You too - Oh, honey, I still didn't catch your name."

"It's Seiya. Seiya Kou."

Ikuko paused and leaned against the doorframe, keeping as much of the December air out as possible. "Oh, that does ring a bell. Hey, wasn't there a boy band Usagi used to listen to all the time... The Three Lights! Yes, I think the lead singer had the same name. Huh, what a coincidence."

Seiya smiled. "What a coincidence indeed."

❄️

The apartment complex was a looming steel building with fifteen floors. Smack in the middle of a busy, noisy part of downtown. Not at all where Seiya expected Usagi to be living.

Of course she wouldn't still live at that comfy little home I remember. She's what, twenty-three now? Same as me... It's only natural she'd be married too. I mean, we all knew it was inevitable. I shouldn't be surprised. I need to be happy for her.

Seiya pulled her knit hat lower. But how come you didn't invite me to the wedding, Bun Head? I would have been there. On one of the happiest days of your life... I would have wanted to be there for you.

Seiya walked fast through the entrance and headed for the elevator. She decided right then and there to swallow the pain and push it deep down for now. This spontaneous trip was supposed to be fun. Not drenched in old heartache and jealousy. She was over all that. Seiya knew she was caught in a one-sided love. Time turned those flames to embers, but being here again, in this world full of vivid memories was flooding back all her teenage emotions.

This isn't about that, Seiya insisted to herself. I'm your friend, Bun Head. I just want the best for you, always. That will never change.

The elevator music caught her by surprise. She was so lost in thought she didn't hear it at first. The Three Lights’ lead single, "Search For Your Love" drifted out of the speakers softly. It made her feel warm and nostalgic.

Seiya couldn't help but smile. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

Ding! Seiya stepped off at the eight floor and before she knew it, she was standing in front of Usagi's apartment door.

Here goes nothing. The Starlight knocked twice and stuffed her hands in her pockets. Please don't let Mamoru answer. I just want to see her... She held her breath and counted to ten. She could have sworn she heard a baby crying, but maybe it was coming from another unit.

Footsteps thudded, accompanied by a high pitched, "Coming...!"

And just like that, there she was. Golden hair tied into her signature bun head style. Wide ocean-blue eyes lighting up like holiday lights as they fell on Seiya.

"Hey, Bun Head. Did ya miss me?"

🍓🌙🌹

[bridgyrose]

Heya! Just to say that I've seen enjoying your snippets a lot and I thought I might give you and angsty prompt to write.

You could it for either CinderRuby, Spicecream or both XD. So Cinder is a fox kestrel faunus that used to hide her wings until she finally showed them to her SO. When Cinder was a kid Madame broke one of her wings to keep her from escaping. It never grew back correctly so Cinder cannot fly.

As for the specific prompt, why don't you pick? XD

If you choose to do it, of course no pressure, it would be a lowkey gift for @incorrectspicecreamquotes. 

Happy angsty writing!

(@incorrectspicecreamquotes a small request to be written for you)

The madame looked over Cinder, frowning when she saw the wings on the young girl’s back. “They never told me you were a faunus…” 

“I’m sorry-” 

The madame wasted no time slapping the girl’s cheek with the back of her hand, her nails digging into her flesh. “You will not speak unless spoken to. You remember that is part of your rules for being here, dont you?” 

Cinder wiped the blood from her cheek, whimpering and nodding. 

“Good.” The madame started to circle around Cinder, keeping her eyes on the wings. “Now, are you able to fly with those?” 

“I… I dont know. I never tried.” 

The madame stopped behind Cinder as she heard that answer, wasting no time to grab the left wing, snapping the bones that formed the wing. She didnt flinch as she watched Cinder drop to the ground, screaming. “Now you wont. From now on, you will keep your wings hidden from anyone. There are no faunus allowed in this hotel and I refuse to let any rumors start about me having bought one. Do you understand?” 

Cinder sobbed into the floor, pain surging through her back as one wing laid flat against her and the other bent sideways. She desperately wanted to answer, the words getting stuck in her throat and choked out by sobs. 

The madame rolled her eyes and pulled out a remote, pressing a button and watching Cinder writhe in pain from her shock collar. “Consider this your warning for not answering me. The next time I see those wings outside of your next inspection, I will make sure they will no longer be a problem. Do you understand?” 

Cinder felt the electricity from the collar die down as she held back a few sobs. “Y-yes… m-ma’am..” The words came out in sobs as Cinder picked herself up. “I… I understand….” 

“Good. Now clean yourself up and get ready for bed. You have a long day of cleaning ahead of you tomorrow and I want to make sure there is no slacking off again.” The madame turned to leave the room, letting Cinder be alone for the remainder of the night.

Cinder slowly looked at herself in the mirror on the wall, still feeling pain from the broken wing. For the first time in her life, she felt truly ashamed of how she looked. She took a few bandages and started wrapping up her wings, wincing as she tightly bound them to her back. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Cinder? Is everything okay?” 

Cinder turned around slowly, looking away from her reflection in her wall mirror to see Ruby and Neo watching her from the doorway. She quickly put her jacket back on to hide her back. “Y-yeah, everything’s… fine.” 

Neo rolled her eyes a bit and frowned. In all the time she’s known Cinder, the girl would never stammer unless there was something going on. 

“Neo’s right, you dont sound okay,” Ruby replied. “ Are you sure there’s nothing going on?” 

Cinder hesitated for a moment before sitting down. “I… was just thinking about a few things…” 

“About your past, right?” 

Cinder nodded slowly, trying to decide how much she wanted to tell her girlfriends. She was normally very reserved about her past, keeping most of it hidden from others and giving bits and pieces to those she trusted. Neo was the first she had opened up to, letting her know why she kept her neck covered, usually while wearing a collar. Ruby, however, found things out accidentally. But Cinder was still glad to trust her about a few other details. “I’m just… not sure how much of it I want to share.” 

Neo understood Cinder’s hesitation to talk, making her way over next to her and sitting down. She gently put a hand on Cinder’s thigh, smiling at her. She always wanted her girlfriends to know they were safe discussing anything with her, especially anything with the past. 

Ruby followed suit, leaning against Cinder. “Cin, you know you can trust us. Whatever it is, we can handle it.” 

Cinder took a deep breath and sighed. “A-alright, but you have to keep this a secret.” 

Ruby and Neo watched as Cinder stood up and turned her back to them and started to disrobe. As the bandages and jacket came off, a pair of wings unfurled from her back. One seemed a bit deformed compared to the other, both were still a vibrant rufous; reddish brown feathers fading to black at the tips. 

Cinder stretched out her wings, wincing a bit from how long she’d kept them hidden. “I’m a faunus. A uh… kestrel to be more specific.” 

Ruby smiled in awe as she looked over Cinder’s wings, gently stroking the feathers. “Why would you hide this? This is so cool. I’ve never seen feathers like these before.” 

“You remember what I told you about growing up in Atlas, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Cinder sighed. “That’s why.” 

Ruby hesitated for a moment as realization struck, causing her to sit back a bit. “O-oh, right, that.. That would do it..” 

Cinder nodded and started hiding her wings again. “Even before that, I always hid them because the kids that were in the orphanage with me would bully me for them. The kids used to pull feathers out or call me names. And then, when the madame took me in, things got a bit… worse. When she found out about them, she made sure I knew exactly how she felt about faunus. She broke one of my wings and threatened to remove them if I didnt keep them hidden. So, I bandaged them up to hide them and kept them under a jacket. Even when Rhodes started to train me, I kept my wings a secret. The broken one healed, but now... “ she stopped putting her bandages on for a moment, letting the wings try to flap. Her left wing, the one that had been broken, could barely move like a regular wing, barely flapping at all. “Now it barely works. I… I never got it treated right and so now, its useless. Just like me.” 

Neo didnt wait for Cinder to finish covering up her wings before she hugged her, pressing into the soft feathers. She knew how hard it was for Cinder to open up to them and she wanted to make sure she knew she was loved. 

Ruby wasnt far behind, pulling Cinder into a hug as well. “Dont worry, we’ll keep it a secret until you’re ready to let others know. If it makes you feel any better, I like how they look and I could always ask Blake if she knows of anyone who might be able to help fix that wing of yours.” She blushed a little as she pulled away from Cinder. “Winter break is coming up soon and, well, I know I wouldnt mind seeing you… happy to be yourself. You could come stay with me and my dad and you wouldnt have to worry about hiding anything.” 

Neo pulled back from Cinder and went to Ruby’s side, trying to show her support. 

Cinder looked between the two, a small smile starting to form as tears started welling up in her eyes. “I… I dont... “ 

“W-wait, Cin, please dont cry.” 

“No, Ruby, I’m not sad, I’m… I’m happy.” Cinder wiped the tears from her eyes, smiling at her girlfriends. “I really… I cant thank you both enough for everything you’ve given me. I was…  I was so scared that you both would hate me for lying-” 

Neo slowly walked over to Cinder and placed a finger over her lips, smiling at her. She gently moved her finger away and kissed Cinder, gently stroking her hair. 

“She has a point. We both love you Cin, and that means all of you. Wings included.” 

“I… I still have a hard time believing it is all. But please, talk to Blake and see what we can do about getting my wing fixed. As long as I have the two of you, I think I’m ready to let people see me for who I really am.” 

Neo and Ruby both hugged Cinder, trying to show how much they loved her. 

[eloquent-vowel]

Part 6 "Burgled." Bucky x OFC (#043)

Description: Now that the Eris project was proven successful, #043 has taken the name Eris and is working in the field. Things move slowly in hazy fog until she is tasked to work along side the Winter Soldier. There she takes comfort in a kindred spirit.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, very much a slow burn. Bucky Barnes x OFC, Winter Soldier X OFC

Warnings: Canon typical violence and description of violence against children (its a dream)

Part 5

Thank you for reading this far! Enjoy this next part of the Winter Soldier and Eris' story!

It had been a month since Eris successfully defeated the Winter Soldier in combat. She was allowed to go by Eris now, she had completed her transformation in the eyes of Dr. Leeb and was permitted to complete missions, unhindered by The General.

It had been a month since Eris had woken up. She had spent the month floating around in a hazy delirium of apathy. Any anger she felt towards the Soldier had faded the moment he let her hid his head . Now she just sat still, staring at The Wall when she wasn't training. Her brain felt like it was under a heavy layer of fog, she didn't know why, but all she was capable of doing was following the orders of those above her.

She would kill without blinking, only registering the sensations of her knuckles cracking whenever she hit. She forgot the names and faces of her targets by the time she went back to her room. Dr.Leeb didn't care. As long as she was getting the results he wanted, he gave no care to her emotional state.

The only time she didn't feel the same haze was when she slept. When she slept she dreamed in full colour. She dreamt of Robins flying in a flock through freshly falling snow, she would fly with them above unfamiliar houses dusted with snow. She would follow them down as she flew down into the street towards a specific house. A house with a red door. She would always wake up just as the flock landed on the ground. She always woke up peacefully from these dreams.

The other dreams were not as peaceful, they were filled with violence. She couldn't decide if they were memories or just her mind playing cruel tricks on her. The worst dreams were an out of body experience. She would watch herself as she killed whoever was put in a room with her, these dreams would end with her standing on a pile of bodies, emotionless and dull.

It was one of those nights tonight. Eris shot up from her bed in a cold sweat gasping for breath, she jumped as there was a knock on the door.

"Eris. Dr. Leeb needs to see you."

She stood carefully out of bed and over to the open shower, she didn't hesitate to strip and rid herself of the second skin of sweat. She pulled on her usual vest and shorts and padded over to the door. She knocked twice and the guards by her door opened and began to escort her down the now familiar corridors, her metallic footsteps echoed every step and she jumped as the sound was louder than she expected. Eris always felt so skittish after her dreams, she thought about talking to Dr. Leeb about it but every time she considered it he sniffed and any comfort she had was broken.

He was sniffing now as he stared at her from his side of the desk. He looked up at her with a strangely proud smile as he said.

"We have had a brilliant opportunity land in our laps, my dear Eris." He stood up and handed a cream coloured file over to her. "A heist, just to steal some very very important schematics for new weapons. Now normally I wouldn't be quite to excited about you being used for stealth missions- as we know Hydra enjoys using Eris to make a statement but here is the special twist." Eris watched with a careful eye as Dr. Leeb almost jumped in excitement. "You get the honour of working with the Winter Solder."

Eris flinched. She was certain the Winter Soldier would either not remember her or hate her enough to remember. She didn't want to think about the consequences he faced. But Dr. Leeb was so excited she didn't have the heart to question him.

"The down side of this, Eris, is that you will have to move away from me. You are to spend time with the Winter Soldier and his handlers to learn how to work with him. Now, Eris," Dr. Leeb came to stand in front of her and placed his handkerchief covered hand around her face. He gripped her chin and pulled her down to his level, "Do not disappoint me. This is a big chance for me."

Eris nodded as well as she could, Dr. Leeb nodded back and gestured to the guards. She didn't get a chance to speak before she was whisked away to collect her weapons. With the promise of clothes and necessities being provided over there she was almost thrown into a helicopter and was on her way to meet the Winter Soldier.

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He wasn't there to greet her when she landed, Eris wasn't sure if she was happy or disappointed by this. After all, he must hate her for what she did but she had never seen someone with such similar eyes to hers. She was swiftly escorted into the new facility and deposited into a larger room than she was used to.

The room itself was much longer than it was wide and divided in half by a see through material. She knew from previous experience it wasn't normal glass. There sitting on the other side of the divide was him. The Winter Soldier. He was sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the door of his cell, completely still. He was dressed much like her, a pale black vest and simple trousers. His hair fell loosely down his head, it shielded his side profile and cast shadows over him, he was intimidating. The metallic arm he had, so similar to her own legs, only added to his rather terrifying image. She flinched as the door behind her shut violently.

"Play nice." A threat came from the other side of the door.

As the sound of footsteps walking away faded into dense silence she sat on the edge of her own bed. She stared at the Soldier, she couldn't help it, he was just so curious. She felt like she could understand him in some ways but in other ways he was an enigma. Eris could feel a familiarity with the Soldier.

The two sat in silence for a long time. Both sitting stock still, she was at facing the clear divide, he was facing parallel to it. If he was uncomfortable, he didn't show it in his body language. Eris was far too awkward to begin a conversation, for all her training she was yet to master the social skills she knew was expected of her. Apparently the Soldier felt much the same as they didn't talk, even when their dinner came, even when night came and sleep called to them both. They just silently went to their separate beds and settled in to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was alone in the circular arena again. The familiar concrete where she had fought the Soldier. Adrenaline pumped through her as she waited for her opponent to show. He did. Like clockwork the Winter Soldier emerged and ran full throttle at her. She fought as well as she could, she would feel the bruises his metal arm left behind and the scratches of his dagger. It was always by a stroke of luck that she knocked him down.

She pounced, laying blow after blow to his face once she managed to knock him down. Her own knuckles crunched at the force of her blows. Only when she paused did she see the figure beneath her was not the Soldier but that of a young boy. The young, small boy who she had almost killed years before.

"Mummy? Daddy?"

His voice was so pained. She watched in horror as the boy rose, jaw broken and skull caved in, and begun to speak.

"Have you seen Mummy?"

"No." Eris whispered.

"What about Daddy?"

The boy was creeping closer, arms outstretched reaching for her.

"You aren't real."

She couldn't move, she was paralysed as small hands began to reach for her arms.

"Who are you?"

He was shaking her now, nails digging into her arm. Blood began to flow down her arms.

"Stop."

She couldn't move, she couldn't even close her eyes to stop seeing the mutilated child.

"Who are you!?"

"I said STOP."

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"I DON'T KNOW."

She shot up in bed with a gasp. She jumped out of bed, disorientated and almost screamed when there was a tapping at the divide. She turned around to see the Soldier looking at her with blank eyes. He must be mad that she disturbed her sleep. He cocked his head at her and gestured for her to come closer. She complied and mirrored him as he sat close to the divide. She couldn't meet his eyes, she felt shame at how she had acted, she was meant to be a perfect example of what Hydra could do. Yet she was crippled by figments of her imagination. So she rested her back against the divide, she felt him do the same and they sat there for a moment, almost perfectly back to back.

"I have them too." His voice was just as deep as she remembered but this time it held a gentler tone than during their fight.

"Have what too?" She was barely talking over a whisper but with their advanced hearing she was sure he could hear her.

"Nightmares."

"Oh..."

"Almost every night."

There was a moment where both of them held their breath before the Soldier continued on, he seemed hesitant.

"I dream of the past. What past I can remember and occasionally I get glimpses of the parts I don't."

"I dreams of the past too." She hugged her knees to her chest, resting her cheek against the cool metal before continuing. "I keep seeing moments that I know are mine and others that I feel like have been... stolen from me."

"Stolen?"

"Every time I meet an unknown face in the arena I know they are someone part of me has seen before. But the me that saw them has been taken, stolen."

"I see..."

They were silent once more. Eris was coming down from the adrenaline of her dream and was content to match breaths with the Soldier. He was oddly comforting.

"They've taken something from me as well." He too was only whispering.

"What?"

"My name. It's always on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember and when I do they... wipe me."

"The chair..."

"Yes."

They were silent again. Eris rested her head back against the divide and imagined that she could feel the warmth from the Soldier that came through the divide.

"What is your name?"

He didn't remember? "Eris."

"Eris." He was gentle with her name. It felt as if he gave it a new meaning.

"Maybe." She started hesitantly, "Maybe we could keep each other's belongings."

"Hmm?" The Soldier simply hummed in question.

"If we both remember a part of the other, we may remember it better. And remind the other of... what it is that was stolen."

The Soldier was silent for a while before he hummed in agreement. Perhaps if the two of them worked together they could both form their stolen identities.

"I'll wake you if you start panicking again."

Eris felt a blush come up her neck.

"Thank you."

With that she stood and returned to bed, purposefully avoiding the Soldier's eyes and curled up, comforted by the thought of someone there to pull her out of the arena.

Part 7

[dragynkeep]

Irish-American musician speaking. I just want to say a couple of things (a) i appreciate that other people are at least willing to criticise Jeff (even though i don’t agree that he was copying “ethnic” styles of music because that’s just bullshit and he was just going for a specific feeling, because that’s how music works) and (b) i really appreciate that this blog takes James' character seriously and not whatever the fecking hell the writers think they've done.

i did want to say that i'm really upset about it as a person with an autistic specturm disorder. i doubt the writers (bless their hearts) realised it, but the semblance they gave James is one of the hallmark signs of ASDs, especially in adults and young people. given the way they've always written him until the end of season seven, i really related to him and his struggles for a variety of reasons. i could get just as angry about the way they've portrayed military service (my dad is a similar ranking to the character and has been through some shit) especially given that a lot of people in my family have or are serving, but i get the sense that everyone sees how problematic that demonstration is. the former is a lot more subtle, and it honestly upsets me more.

and then there's all the bullshit surrounding Penny (they should have just left her dead or given Winter the powers to begin with for fuck's sake). firstly, i'm just going to come out and say that i've hated the way they've used vocal music to bash us over the heads with messages the last few volumes. Cinder's TWO (whyyyyyyy) songs in just that one episode this volume were basically narrating what was on screen which took away from the moments and the second one during her fight with her mentor was just plain bad. i thought those two were the worst we were going to get but apparently i was wrong and we get whatever the hell "Friend" is. (although i will say i bet the only reason they threw in that second song for Cinder was because Casey just had to get publicity for her shitty band). but look. i'm lgbtqia myself and it really (especially considering Penny and Ruby's intereactions) felt like queerbaiting/bury your gays but i'll set that aside. making Penny human (a) took away the only unique/interesting thing left about her character and (b) her death was essentially a glorifying suicide "for the greater good" which really slaps in the face of people who have honestly suffered from depression and suicide.

this isn't the first time that they've shyed away from trying to explore serious subjects, but it is particuarly gross because of the song. an earlier example of them doing this is with regard to "the path to isolation" when Casey felt the need to say Weiss has never cut and that she wouldn't do that. while that was (to say the very least) a bit uncomfortable for her to just drop that, it sounded like she just wanted to avoid talking about the subject because it's too dark. i have a lot of problems with Casey and her actions over the years, but i think it's important to note that SHE WROTE PENNY'S SONG. she is the one responsible for this, and she keeps talking about how great it is and how "humbling" the experience was. bitch no. you can't just take only praise and get mad about critisicism to the point where you basically recieve none anymore.

besides, Casey is pretty hard to understand because she STILL doesn't enucniate much when she sings so if she and her dad are going to keep being basically worshipped hand and foot by people while recieving no criticism even where it is due, then they shouldn't be in this or music. part of being a musician is that you SHOULD be critiqued by your peers and even by just casual listeners but that doesn't happen and they (but especially her) don't improve. by no means do i think Casey and Jeff are the worst of CRWBY, but they are part of the problems with tone in the storytelling and they should be critiscised for it more.

oh god this is a long ask & it’s like a month late, please forgive me.

yeah, my issue with the whole jeff issue was never that he was “copying” ethnic music, though there is a discussion to be had when that music comes from closed off cultures like my own & others & how that should be respected, but that this vague claim by someone who’s lied to push their headcanons before was using it to claim ruby & summer were romani coded when there has been anti gypsyism sentiment in crwby before via arryn’s sexualization of us. i simply don’t trust these white americans to write any gypsy ethnic groups’ stories with any sense of respectability & it was on a baseless headcanon anyways so. that frustration was easy enough to let die down.

i also have a lot of issues with how ironwood was treated, especially as a disabled person & some of the fndm’s insistence to treat this fictional military as a 1 to 1 representation of the flawed militaries in our world is just utterly frustrating. especially when they use that to justify theirs & crwby’s ableism towards one of the few disabled characters we had on screen. i don’t have a place to speak on any autistic representation or harm from ironwood or his semblance because i’m not autistic but i am sorry that you were harmed & upset by this portrayal of a semblance that isn’t even canon, because it features nowhere in the text explicitly. hell, ironwood’s va had to be told what his semblance was from a fan. all this harm & hurt & it’s for something that isn’t even featured in the story. ridiculous.

i’m really trying not to waffle on in this ask because it is so long already but yes yes yes. i agree with you completely, the way that songs are crafted for this world & featured into it most of the time doesn’t fit with what we’re shown on screen. weiss’s songs feature a patriarchy & go over the same arc like five times, as well as those lines alluding to self harm. jeff & casey can cry that they didn’t mean it that way but there are certain themes brought to mind with certain wordings & you have to be mindful of this when you write them; we had this same issue with people believing mercury was sexually abused by marcus because “i’m the one” featured the word defiled, which is most used in a sexual context. when we come to learn that it meant his soul was ruined by his father stealing his semblance, that still didn’t erase the sexual allegory & jeff should have been mindful of those types of themes when he’s writing these songs. often times it feels like the songs & the show are giving us two different stories & both give off different meanings & themes.

not being able to take criticism seems like a common theme in crwby, self admittedly from miles himself who said he “wants” to take criticism but doesn’t like it when “it’s done in a mean way.” that criticism has to be fair & nice, which is a solid sentiment, no one’s going to listen if you’re being an asshole but here’s the rub. nothing is ever nice or fair enough for them. they always find a way to turn even the most innocent of criticisms or questions into a personal attack & it’s pathetic. jeff & casey aren’t exempt from this. like you said, part of being a musician is criticism from your peers & much like you don’t need to be a chef to tell if there’s dogshit on your plate, you don’t need to be a writer or a rock star to tell when a story isn’t making sense or a song isn’t good.

& for fucks sake, i’m with you on them needing to enunciate better. i’m hoh, please jeff & casey, it’s hard enough for me to try & listen to songs that i want to enjoy without having to wonder what word you’re mumbling for this third rhyme in bad luck charm. fuck that song’s rhymes.

[canyouevenwritebro]

Sunflowers (pt. 1)

Summary: The reader has been with the Avengers since they rescued her from HYDRA. She has joined them on countless missions since then but this may be the hardest one yet. Set in 2016 CA:CW.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. It’s purely fiction.

Characters: steve rogers, tony stark, natasha romanoff, bucky barnes, sam wilson, wanda maximoff, clint barton, peter parker

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: angst, depression, violence, death

a/n: hey!!! i did it! my first fanfic.

When the Avengers raided the HYDRA base you were kept in, they found you inside a cryo-chamber sleeping peacefully. After every personnel was captured, they transferred you to the compound along with artifacts and files of experiments they performed. Eventually, they found your file. It was quite lengthy. Your father was working for HYDRA but he turned on them and planned to take them down. As a result, they silenced him and your mother. They knew that whatever he knew about HYDRA, he told her. They spared you because you were just a kid. Instead, you were out on the Thanatos program. It was your father's project and it was almost done up until his betrayal. They thought you would be perfect for the program. They could groom you to the perfect obedient soldier they needed. On top of that, what could be more cruel than using your father's work to torture you?

They gave you a version of the serum used on the winter soldiers, with their own upgrades of course. They incorporated it with the Extremis serum and that left you with a super soldier that can breathe fire. Phoenix, they called you. The ultimate weapon of death.

After briefing everyone on your situation, they woke you up. You stepped out of the chamber confused. You were met with unfamiliar yet kind faces that it overwhelmed you. You made a run for it and nearly burned down the entire medical wing before they tranquilized you again. You woke up in a small glass cell where they told you that they meant no harm. Somehow, you believed them.

That was a year and a half ago. Now, here you were walking around New York and trying your best to be part of society. After extensive amounts of therapy of course. You were on your way back when you saw an old man in a flower shop organizing his stalls. You were mesmerized by the flowers' beauty and found yourself crossing the street to get there.

"Looking for anything specific, ma'am?" he asked

"No, not really. Maybe something cheery?" God, why are you so socially awkward?

"Well, in that case," he said, "here are some sunflowers." He handed you a bouquet.

"My wife loves them. When she's upset, I get her these because they always look towards the sun and the color brightens up the room," he said with a smile.

"Thank you so much," you said as you handed him a $20 bill "Keep the change"

You were now back at the compound and you were rummaging through the kitchen in search of a vase. You didn't find any (Seriously? a state of the art training compound owned by a billionaire doesn't have a vase?)

"I guess a pitcher would do," you whispered to yourself as you headed to your room.

"What is that?" asked Tony.

"Sunflowers. Got it from the guy near the train station. It's a good metaphor when you think about it. They're always looking on the bright side. I didn't get many opportunities to go sunbathing when I was at HYDRA." you said with an awkward chuckle.

"Alright. Fair enough. I'm headed to MIT for the speech thingy. Wanna come?"

"Nah. I still have to catch up on culture." you giggled. Years of working for HYDRA also didn't give you a lot of me-time.

"Okay well if you change your mind, you know how to get there."

"Copy that."

You headed to your room. Yours. You actually owned something. You turned on your TV and scanned through the channels. Doctor Who reruns? Sure. Hours had passed and you've scanned through hundreds of channels. You decided to turn on some news in the background while you read.

"On breaking news, eleven Wakandans are amongst those confirmed dead after a violent clash between the Avengers and independent mercenaries in Nigeria." Your head bolted up and you reached for the remote to turn the volume up.

"Brock Rumlow, former SHIELD agent, led the team of mercenaries to procure a biological weapon being tested at the Center for Disease Control Nigeria Division. It was believed to be a suicide mission as eyewitness account said Rumlow wore a type of bomb in his vest. Avenger Wanda Maximoff contained the explosion only to have the blast thrown into a building killing a total of 30 people. We have yet to receive an official statement from the Avengers. More details tonight only on Channel 6 News at 8." You listened with intent and your heartbeat was beating fast. Those poor victims. Is the team on their way home? Are they okay? How is Wanda doing? Your mind formed a million questions.

"FRIDAY, call Steve Rogers." a faint ding let you know that your request is being done.

"Y/n." Oh, thank god he's okay.

"Steve! Are you guys alright? I saw what happened. I am so sorry."

"We're alright. Search and rescue was already on the scene when we left."

"How's Wanda? Do you need me to do anything?"

"Physically, she's safe, y/n. Emotionally? This is gonna take a toll on her."

"What about the others? Nat? Sam? You?"

"We're gonna be fine. We're on our way home."

You met the team on the law of the compound. They were visibly stunned and you cut through them to hug Wanda. She was your best friend and you know that this was going to affect her greatly. You were right. She locked herself in her room and the only thing you heard was the sound of the news and sobbing.

In his office, Steve kept replaying what had happened in Lagos. Knowing him, he was gonna blame himself for this. You wanted to leave him be but your concern for Wanda kept you standing by his doorway.

"Steve? You got a moment?"

"Y/n. Do you need anything?" he said as he paused the video on his computer.

"No. I just wanna say I'm sorry about Lagos. Sam and Nat told me what happened."

"It's not your fault, y/n. It's mine. Rumlow mentioned Bucky and all sense of the mission disappeared in my head."

"Don't blame yourself. Bucky was or is, your best friend and he's still missing. You have a right to have emotions."

"Thanks. I... uh...  I needed that. Have you talked to Wanda yet?"

"No. Her room is locked. Maybe you should try talking to her. Both of us saw you as a mentor. She'll listen to you."

You gave him a faint smile and headed for the kitchen. Maybe some food could help them. You moved the vase of sunflowers from your room to the middle of the large dining table.

Tony walked in and asked everyone to meet in the conference room. He got the news as he was coming home from Massachusetts. After a brief interaction with a grieving mother and the news of the mission, he knew what he had to do.

Inside, you were met by General Ross and his assistant. Rhodey was already inside and the rest of the team followed suit. Wanda had stopped crying but you knew she would never get over this.

The general discussed the Sokovia Accords with the team. As much as you'd like to be on Steve's side, you knew the team needs to be put in check. One more incident like this and the world might lose their trust in you. You agreed with Tony. Rhodey and Sam were discussing, or perhaps fighting would be a better word, over the Accords. Tony just sat there looking like a rebellious teen listening to his parents' lectures.

To prove a point, Tony showed the team a picture of Charlie Spencer. He died in Sokovia after Ultron planned to drive the human race into extinction. You felt your heart drop. He just wanted to do some good and he was caught in the crossfire.

At that point, the fighting and bantering was too much and you just zoned everyone out. You wanted to cry and you knew that the team was slowly drifting apart. Steve walked out after receiving a text. You didn't ask why. He has a private life after all.

You decided to take your frustrations out on the punching bags. You finally had a home. A family. But you feel the world caving in around you. With one last punch, the punching bag came flying through the room engulfed in flames. You fell to your knees as tears clouded your vision. Dum-E, who Tony programmed to follow you around with a fire extinguisher as a joke, finally put his programming to use.

"Y/n." a familiar voice called to you

"Nat. Hey." you struggled through the tears.

"Talk to me."

"I- I just want the team to stay together. You guys are the only family I have."

"Me too, y/n. I used to have nothing till I found this family."

"I want to help. What can I do to help?"

"I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. I'm meeting Steve on the way to try and change his mind. Maybe you can help."

"I'll try."

Nat took you to a cathedral. Steve was on the other end by himself. He looks... tired. On the altar was a picture of Agent Carter.

"Oh. That's why he left."

"Hi, Steve. I just wanna say I am so sorry for your loss," you said as you walked towards him.

"Nat. Y/n. What are you doing here?"

"We didn't want you to be alone and I'm also taking y/n with me to Vienna for the signing of the Accords."

"There's plenty of room on the jet," you said

"Who else signed?"

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision."

"Wanda?"

"TBA."

"Clint?"

"He said he's retired."

"There's still time to change your mind, Steve. Come with us to Vienna." you pleaded one last time

"You know why I can't do this y/n. If I sign, we're surrendering our freedom to people with agendas different from ours."

You felt a lump in your throat. "I'll be in the car." You said to Nat as you turned around not looking at Steve once as you walked out of the church.

"She hates me now, doesn't she?"

"No, she doesn't. She's just scared."

Nat was right. As always. You got in the car and tried to meditate. You didn't want to cry. Not when cameras surrounded you. You tried to steady your breathing but your brain seemed to do the exact opposite.

~~~Flashback~~~

"Injecting serum in five seconds." an emotionless voice said. You tried to break free but you were strapped down to the table. Even if you weren't, it was like you were trapped in your own mind. You couldn't move. The next few hours were a blur to you. The only thing you remember was the excruciating pain coursing through your veins.

"Serum successfully administered."

"Good. Take her to the cell for the remainder of the process."

You woke up in a pool of sweat inside a dark room. Alone. Like you have been since you were a kid. You don't remember much of it. Sometimes you see your parents in your dreams. You were 5 years old and they took you to the park. Your mom was helping you get to the other end of the monkey bars while your dad went to get snow cones. You were happy. But that memory was soon followed by the sound of gunshots and screaming. You couldn't understand what was said but you didn't need to be a genius to know it was full of anger. Your mom told you to hide and you did. But they found you anyway. Since then, you were subjected to vigorous training. You now know 30 languages and deadly fighting skills. You became a weapon and today was the final step of your transformation. Eleven years of training and they deemed you ready. After they reprogrammed your brain to be obedient, of course.

The man in the army uniform handed you a folder. "Your first mission, soldatin," he said, "Procure the obelisk. No survivors. No witnesses. You have 48 hours. Report back here as soon as it is finished." You nodded and opened the folder. It was of a tiny village at the base of the Swiss Alps. In the middle of it was the said obelisk encased in glass. You took a handful of soldiers with you and you headed for the village.

You succeeded in your mission. The obelisk was safely placed inside a containment unit in the jet. The village was burned to the ground. Bodies were piled on the streets and the only sign of life was your team and a handful of livestock the villagers kept. With that, you headed back.

"Very good, soldatin. Go with the doctor." and like the good soldier that you were, you walked behind the man in the lab coat.

You passed by a few offices on your way to the medical wing. Amongst other things, the serum enhanced your hearing. The faintest whispers sounded like normal talking.

"You heard about the mission?"

"Yeah. I heard y/l/n didn't even show mercy for those villagers." the voice chuckled.

"Bettenhauser's gonna be pleased." said another.

"I bet. He and y/f/l/n worked together on the program and seeing it do its purpose mus be so satisfying"

"Her father was an asset for us. That was before he betrayed us, though."

"Well, we got her now. She is an even bigger asset than her father ever was."

You kept walking and you ended up in a room with four other people in coats. In the middle of a room was a large glass case with a chair.

"Step inside the chamber, soldatin. You need to rest." and just like that, your feet dragged you inside. One of the coats placed a mask on you amongst other things. You felt your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and heavier. Gone.

The glass chamber now safely enclosed your unconscious body. Your body was now as cold as ice.

~~~End of flashback~~~

Since that first mission, you had killed hundreds of people for HYDRA. Innocent people. They haunt your dreams to this day but what's done is done. All you could do is help as many as you can.

You were taken out of your trance by the sound of the car door closing. Nat now sat beside you.

"Eagle Hangar please," she said to the driver

The drive to the hangar was silent. So was the flight to Vienna.

"Here goes nothing," you said to Nat as the elevator doors opened. World leaders were gathered in the room and cameras were flashing everywhere. A lady with a clipboard checked you in and quickly walked away.

"I see you are not fans of the spotlight." said the man in the suit. You later learned his name was T'Challa. Prince of Wakanda.

"It isn't very flattering," Nat said to him.

"Well, considering your last trip to Capitol Hill, you seem to be doing great so far." you chuckled at his response. You read about that months ago. You even saw it on YouTube on "Black Widow most iconic moments compilation.

"You don't seem like a big fan as well." You told him

"The accords, yes. The politics? not very. Two men in the same room can get more done than a hundred."

"Unless you need to move a piano." the voice behind you said

"King T'Chaka. This is Y/n Y/l/n. Allow us to apologize for what happened in Nigeria."

"Thank you, Ms. Romanoff. I'm sad to hear Captain Rogers won't be joining us."

"That makes three of us." You replied to him.

Just then, you heard a voice come on through the speakers asking everyone to take a seat. King T'Chaka was giving a statement when both yours and Nat's attention was drawn to his son who was looking out the window.

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" He screamed as he bolted for his father.

Like instinct, you threw yourself in front of Nat. It's something that you started doing after you joined the team. You thought after all the lives you've taken, protecting as many as you can could "wipe the red off your ledger" as Nat put it. You were a very effective human shield as a result of the serums. You weren't immortal nor did you have instantaneous healing due to the reaction between the two serums but you still healed faster compared to average humans. You felt a spray of glass cut through your skin and a searing heat touched your skin. Search and rescue came after the explosion and took you and Nat to get medical attention. You were perfectly fine but Nat had a few cuts and bruises. In typical Nat fashion, she walked it off like it was nothing.

You were taken to a tent to get a fresh set of clothes while Nat talked to Prince T'Challa, now king under horrible circumstances. When you got out, he was gone and she was on the phone.

A few minutes later, your phone rang.

Captain Grandpa calling...

you dropped the call and went to check on NAt

~~~BUCHAREST~~~

News outlets revealed Sargeant Barnes, Bucky, was behind the bombing. You knew Steve was gonna go after him. He'd been looking for Bucky since SHIELD fell. Now, he found him in Romania. Orders were given to shoot him on sight and Steve wouldn't let that happen.

~~~BERLIN~~~

Bucky was now in custody.

"What part of don't make things worse didn't you understand?" you asked Steve

You were in one of the offices watching Bucky getting evaluated by the doctor. You were in the other room talking to Tony about what would happen to your teammates.

"We're lucky they aren't in jail," he said

This was all too much. You went to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. You hadn't slept in 24 hours nor eaten anything. You looked in the mirror and fixed your hair as best you could.

BLACKOUT.

What was happening? You ran out and saw a lot of commotion.

"Get me eyes on Barnes," yelled Everett Ross.

You saw Nat and Tony walking towards the exit.

"What happened? What can I do?" you asked

"Don't know. We need to find Barnes." Tony said

"Please tell me you brought a suit," said Nat

"Sure did. It's a lovely Tom Ford three-piece two-button. I'm on active duty non-combatant."

Just as he said that Agent Carter, the younger, ran past you "follow me," she said. The three of you did and she led you to the facility's lobby.

You had never met Sgt. Barnes but from what Steve told you, he was a good man. The person you saw in the lobby was not him. He reminded you of your time at HYDRA. Cold and merciless. A soldier.

Sharon and Nat ran in and tried to fight him to no avail. You managed to get him down but he pinned you n the floor. He was trying to choke you and as a last effort to break free, you took a deep breath and exhaled a stream of fire. He dodged out of the way and you managed to get up. The next thing you saw was T'Challa going after him. You set fire to the staircase to slow him down but he still got away

You went outside only to see Steve on the rooftop pulling a helicopter from the sky. Sometimes you forget that he's a super-soldier just like you.

"Y/n coordinate evac. Get civilians as far away as you can," said Tony through comms. You wanted to help Steve but you got your orders.

~~~Fast forward to Berlin~~~

You did what Tony said and got civilians to a safe distance. When you went to meet with Nat and Tony, they told you Steve and Bucky were gone. They assumed Sam was with them too.

~~~Steve's POV~~~

"This would've been a lot easier a week ago," said Sam

"If we call Tony or maybe y/n--" he cut you off

"Who knows if the accords will let them help." he had a point. After everything that's happened, the UN would not listen to them even if they found out about Zemo.

"We're on our own."

"Maybe not." you looked at him questioningly. "I know a guy"

~~~End of POV~~~

You were now back in a conference room with General Ross. He gave you 36 hours to bring the three men in. He wouldn't hesitate to kill Steve if it meant bringing Barnes in.

"My left arm is numb. Is that normal?" he asked. Nat put her hand on his shoulder.

"You alright?" she asked

"Always." you knew that was a lie. Numbness in the left arm was a sign of a heart attack. But he's Tony. he could be bleeding to death and still say witty sarcastic remarks. You wish he didn't do that. You wished he'd open up to you more. "36 hours. Geez."

"We're seriously understaffed," said Nat. It was just the three of you there now.

"Would be great if we had a hulk right about now. Any shot?" Nat shook her head

Not even the Hulk. It would be nice if just Bruce and Thor were there. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad. Bruce and Thor would've deescalated matters before you could say Mjolnir.

"You really think he would be on our side?" she asked. You hadn't thought of that but knowing Bruce, he would want the team to be together.

"I have an idea." Said Nat

"ME too. Where's yours?

"Downstairs. Where's yours?" said tony.

~~~QUEENS~~~

"Spiderman? really?" you asked Tony in the car.

"HE stopped a 3000 lbs car going 40 miles an hour wit his bare hands and he swings from webs."

"But he's dressed in a red hoodie and swim goggles." you chuckled. It was probably the lightest moment you had in the last week alone.

You and Tony knocked on the apartment door. It was answered by a middle-aged woman. She was beautiful honestly. She had those kind motherly eyes that reminded you of your mom.

"Hi. I'm Tony Stark. This is y/n y/l/n. Is Mr. Parker here? we have some good news for him." Tony sad

"I'm May., his aunt and no he's not here. He should be home soon though. You're welcome to wait." she invited you in and served you some walnut and date bread. It was horrible but you didn't have the heart to tell her. she was so nice.

"So what is this good news you're here about?" she asked. Tony didn't actually tell you what his plan was. Not in full anyways so you were just as curious as her.

"Oh its a grant from the September foundation that he applied for. I approved." as far as bullshit made-on-the-spot excuses go, that was pretty good.

"Oh, he never told me that.

"He probably wanted to surprise you," you said to her

"Probably. Are you also a receiver of the grant?" she asked

"No. I'm interested in how the foundation is run so I asked to be here" she nodded. You didn't think she'd buy it but she did. Just as he said that the front door opens and a young guy walked in. He couldn't have been much younger than you. He had his earphones n and he was going on about this nice car parked outside. Tony's of course.

He saw the three of you on the sofa and he was clearly starstruck upon seeing Tony. He couldn't even speak without stuttering. He repeated his excuse to Peter and he surprisingly went along with it. Tony asked for five minutes alone with him and you were left in the living room with Aunt May. When they got out of the room, Peter informed his aunt that Tony invited him to the compound to talk more about the internship. You knew it was a lie of course because just a few hours later, Peter was standing next to you on the car to the airport.

~~~BERLIN~~~

Vision informed you that Clint came to get Wanda at the compound. Immediately, you knew this wasn't gonna end well. You don't want to fight her but you don't have a choice

As a last effort, you tried calling Steve but hews just declining your calls. Eventually, none of them would even go through.

~~~Fast forward~~~

"Steve, you know what's about to happen. Do you really want to punch your way out of this one?" Nat said.

"Just come with us. Please," you pleaded. He looked at the both of you

"Alright, I've run out of patience. Underoos!" yelled tony. just as he did, Peter grabbed Steve's should and landed on top of  the helicopter

"Nice job kid"

"Thanks. I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit but it's perfect, Mr. Stark" he went on this babbling for about 45 seconds. You thought it was funny.

~~~

"I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart," Tony said. You wanted the same thing. You all do.

"You did that when you signed," said Steve

"You're gonna turn Barnes over and you're gonna come with us now because it's us" You could hear the sadness and frustration in Tony's voice. "Come on" he whispered

You heard Sam's voice through Steve's earpiece "We found it. The quintet is in hangar five. North runway." you let out a deep breath. This was it. Steve raised his arm as Redwing cut through his restraints.

"Alright Lang," said Steve

"What the hell was that?" asked Rhodes

"I believe this is yours, Captain America"

"Oh great. There's two on the parking deck. One of them is Maximoff. I'm gonna go grab her. Y/n come with me. Rhodey, wanna take Cap?" said Tony as he grabbed you by the arm and flew towards Wanda... and Clint?

"There's two on the terminal. Wilson and Barnes"

"Barnes is mine," said T'Challa

~~~Fast Forward~~~

"Wanda. I think you hurt Vision's feelings"

"You locked me in my room."

"I did it to protect you."

"Wanda, stop this now. I don't want to fight you but you know I will."

"I can't live in fear anymore, y/n." and with that, she used her powers to drop cars at you.

"I'm done playing nice. You want a fight? I'll give you a fight." you said as you aimed fireblasts at her and Clint.

A fight has now ensued between the two teams. Tony attached a miniaturized jet pack to your back so you could chase after the others. Steve and the others were making a run for the hangar when Vision used his laser to stop them in their tracks. You landed in front of them, skin now glowing red from the fire inside you. The others followed suit.

"You must surrender now." Vision's voice thundered over you despite being in an open space. You were now face to face with your friends.

"What do we do, Cap?" asked Sam

"We fight."

"This isn't gonna end well," whispered Nat

"They're not stopping," said Peter

"Neither are we."

a/n: what do you guys think? I hope you like it. it's my first time writing fanfic. criticism would be greatly appreciated. part two coming soon depending on the response to this...

[arcanelaurels]

I don't have a specific favourite fic, every time you write Angus it makes me so happy. If I can prompt, I'd love to see Angus coming home to Taako & Kravitz after walking back from a case mid blizzard. Just too happy with solving the puzzle to realise he's soaked, frozen and half delirious from the flu. (Sorry if that's too specific!)

MY BOY!!! MY BOY!!!!!!

Thank you I love writing Angus!!

(Also this came out more dramatic than I intended when I started oops)

The wind sliced at Angus as he ran home, the ecstatic heat and energy from a freshly-solved case preventing him from feeling the cold of the blizzard. Snow clung to his curls and melted just enough to plaster them to his face as the wind swirled around him, and it somehow managed to soak the many layers of clothes Taako had dressed him in before he’d left. He vaguely registered the crackle of his stone of farspeech, but decided to ignore it. He was almost home, anyway.

Manners as well as knowledge of Taako’s stance on muddy footprints in the house were all that prevented him from charging through the house to find them as soon as he got in. He stopped in his tracks in the mudroom and kicked off his boots as he shouted out that he was home.

Two pairs of footsteps rushed towards him as he struggled to remove his outermost coat, the intricate buttons getting the best of him until he realized it would be easier if he took off his gloves first.

Taako and Kravitz appeared at the top of the short flight of stairs, and Angus grinned up at them, his face flushed from both the cold weather and excitement.

“Jeez, kid, you had us worried,” Taako leaned dramatically against the wall, though relief was obvious on his face. “I thought you were stranded out there.”

“Angus, you’re soaked!” Kravitz looked significantly more concerned than his husband.

“S-sorry!” Angus chirped, not sounding apologetic at all as he shucked off two layers of warmth and immediately shivered. It didn’t matter, though, he had too much to tell them. “I-I would’ve answered your c-call, but I was almost h-home, anyway.”

He continued as he removed a third, thinner jacket, ignoring the chill that ran down his spine. “It was s-so exciting, though! I thought that something was off about the c-crime scene, but it wasn’t until I m-met up with the C-Count to talk about the v-v-victim that I realized what was wrong! It was-” He stopped suddenly and he shivered more violently for a moment, but he quickly recovered and breezed over it as if it hadn’t happened, not noticing Kravitz and Taako exchange looks. “It was the j-j-jade earrings! If they were her most p-prized p-possession, why were they n-nowhere to be f-f-found? And then I-”

Angus stopped, suddenly feeling dizzy. He stuck out a hand to lean against the wall for support. Kravitz rushed down the steps with Taako on his heels, quickly grabbing Angus by the underarms to keep him upright.

“By the grace of my lady, you’re freezing!” Kravitz exclaimed, turning to Taako for confirmation. “He’s freezing, right?”

“Shit, yeah,” Taako muttered distractedly, his expression focused as he pressed the back of his hands first to Angus’s forehead, then neck, then arms to double-check his temperature. He cupped Angus’s face in his hands and searched his expression intently, noting the flush on his cheeks and the lack of focus in his eyes, but no visible discoloration of his lips or nose. A look of panic crossed his face and he quickly sat Angus down on the stairs and checked over his fingers before stripping off his socks and checking his toes while Kravitz looked on with worry. He sighed with relief before standing up.

“Krav, can you come pick him up?” Taako asked, his sudden seriousness preventing Kravitz from asking any questions. “Gently.”

Kravitz did as told and picked up Angus, who instinctively wrapped his arms and legs around him the way he always did. Taako led him through the house towards Angus’s room, talking the whole time.

“He doesn’t have frostbite - thank the gods - but he’s got hypothermia. I need you to get him out of those clothes and into something warm and dry. Wrap a towel around his head or something to dry his hair, but do not rub him, mmkay? That can cause cardiac arrest.”

Kravitz swallowed down the feeling of panic that arose at the words “cardiac arrest” and tried to listen so he could follow Taako’s instructions. Mortal conditions and diseases weren’t exactly in his wheelhouse, which Taako must have been aware of based on how he’d immediately taken charge. But Kravitz had rarely ever seen him so serious about something, which didn’t help his nerves.

Taako continued. “Put him in bed and cover him with blankets. Try not to move him too much. Monitor his breathing. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate and get a warm compress.”

Kravitz nodded silently, but his panic must have been evident on his face because Taako stopped and reached up to cup a hand around Kravitz’s face. But there was a lack of the usual gentleness in his face that was replaced by focus, and Kravitz could tell that there were a million thoughts running through Taako’s head right now.

“He’s gonna be alright, Krav. It’s mild. Just do what I said.” He turned back down the hallway without another word.

Kravitz did his best to focus on Taako’s instructions and not on how worried he was. He gently lowered Angus down on the desk chair in his room and went to grab a towel and one of Angus’s warmer pajama sets - as well as a pair of socks. As he stripped the layers of sweaters and shirts off of him, he vaguely recalled the memory from just this morning of Taako refusing to let Angus leave the house without all of these clothes on. Fat lot of good that had done him; each layer was soaked through.

He took the towel and - remembering not to rub him - gently patted at Angus’s bare chest and arms and back to remove any remaining moisture before putting on his pajama shirt. 

Angus groaned and leaned forward, resting his head on Kravitz’s shoulder, who had to push him off so he could finish changing him. Once Angus was out of his wet clothes and in his pajamas, Kravitz carefully lifted him again and put him in bed, covering him with his blanket before taking a smaller towel and wrapping it around his hair to soak up some of the moisture. He moved to his closet to get the many other blankets he had (which were all courtesy of Taako and his love of blankets) and had just finished covering him with the last one when Taako reappeared with a mug of hot chocolate and two warm compresses.

Taako silently placed the mug on his nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed, placing one of the compresses on Angus’s forehead. Angus, who had seemed almost asleep, slowly opened his eyes to stare at him.

“What’s shakin’, boychik?” Taako asked, though his gentle tone didn’t quite match his joking words.

Angus’s brow creased and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but gave up and closed it.

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” Taako muttered, lifting the blankets just enough to place the other compress on Angus’s chest. “Do you think you can sit up enough to drink some of this?” He asked, taking the mug and moving it almost tauntingly in front of the boy’s face. “Secret recipeee,” His voice took on a sing-song tone.

Angus moved as if to sit himself up, but Taako quickly placed a hand behind his back to help him. He managed to down a few sips before he had to give up and lay back down. His eyelids fluttered and he quickly fell asleep.

Kravitz moved forward and placed a hand on Taako’s shoulder, but his husband didn’t look up at him. He leaned so that he could follow Taako’s gaze to the steady rise and fall of Angus’s chest. He was watching his breathing.

After a few moments of making sure that Angus was just asleep and nothing worse, Taako put the mug back on the nightstand and let out a sigh.

“Was it you or Lup?” Kravitz asked. Taako was silent for a few moments.

“Me,” He finally said. He laced his fingers together and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch, then dropped them with a sigh. “It was our first winter without a home. Lup’s fires kept us warm most of the time, but…” He trailed off and finally turned to look at his husband with a smirk. “I was a pretty reckless kid. And I had it worse than what Ango’s got. Luckily, though, I had a sister who was smarter than me. Don’t ever tell her I said that.”

Kravitz smiled, glad to see Taako’s humor returning.

“And during our century, we visited a surprising amount of ice worlds. Like, way more than you’d expect. I think everyone died of exposure at least once. Lemme tell you, as annoying as Merle is, spending a cycle on a frozen wasteland without our healer was the worst. As I’m sure you know from being with cha’boy, elves tend to run hotter than most other species, so Lup and I were less at risk and were in charge of taking care of everyone else when they did stupid stuff outside. Usually Magnus.”

Kravitz chuckled and wrapped his arms around Taako from behind, leaning down to rest his chin on the top of his head. “So he’s gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Taako waved a hand dismissively as if that would erase how concerned he’d been earlier. “He just needs some rest and heat. And a fuckin’ lecture about what ‘inclement weather’ means.”

“Oh yeah?” Kravitz asked, lifting his head. “And just who is going to give him that lecture?”

Taako was silent, but his answer was clear.

“Fat chance,” Kravitz said. “You know I hate when you make me bad cop.”

“How else am I supposed to be the favorite parent?“

“You already cook all his favorite meals,” Kravitz argued. “All I’ve got on my side are his cello lessons.”

“That reminds me, we need to cancel his cello lessons.”

Kravitz opened his mouth to make a retort, but Angus shifted in his bed, rolling over on his side and distracting the two from their non-serious argument. The compress fell off his forehead and onto the pillow, and Taako muttered to himself as he readjusted it so that it was at least on the side of his head.

“So-called genius detective doesn’t even know how to sleep,” Was part of what he muttered, but the rest was too quiet for Kravitz to hear. He moved a hand to Angus’s neck to feel for his temperature again, then hesitated before climbing over him on the bed and slipping under the covers, pulling Angus closer and wrapping himself around him almost protectively.

When he noticed Kravitz’s questioning look, he grumbled, “He’s still too cold,” before flopping his head on the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut as if to fend off any response from his husband. 

Kravitz smiled, knowing that even on his warmest days he was still too cool for that kind of job. He picked up the pile of wet clothes off the ground and left to throw them in the washer and turn it on, then returned to Angus’s room, where he found that Taako had already fallen asleep. Not knowing what else to do with himself, Kravitz sat down in Angus’s desk chair and kept an eye on them while they slept.

[livingforloki]

hi there, fellow shipper! :) i'm just sending this ask to blogs who adore and support brucenat / hulkwidow ship because i want our tags full of optimist and pretty things! so... 1) IW, what do you think about them (their scenes together, little things you saw)? 2) things about Nat and Bruce (individually) that you love in IW? 3) Hopes for the future? i hope don't be a bother to you. take care and don't forget to tag if you want! x

Any fellow Brucenat shipper asking me to talk about Brucenat could never bother me, I promise you!!! Thank you for your questions, they were super fun to answer! 

Infinity War spoilers below (I tried to keep it spoiler free)

1) I really wanted to see more of them in IW but given the sheer number of characters fighting for screentime, I can understand why their relationship was barely touched upon. I think there are definitely still feelings there. For Bruce, especially. He’s been away for two years but not exactly conscious so to him it must feel as though no time has passed since she pushed him from the bridge in AOU. For Nat, I’m slightly worried about the Russo brothers saying she has moved on and Brucenat isn’t going to be given any more exploration but I still have hope. Scarlett is clearly still playing feelings, just the hint of the smile and the look of shock upon hearing Bruce’s voice is enough to show that. I guess we might not get exactly what we want for them, but they formed a bond before (and during AOU) and I’d really love to see that their friendship is still strong and intimate, regardless of whether they are together romantically. Considering the end of the movie (no spoilers, #thanosdemandsyoursilence) Bruce and Natasha seem geared to get a lot more screentime in the first half, if not the whole of part 2 considering the sudden lack of characters, so I’m hoping for, at least, a one on one conversation between the two of them. 

2) Bruce is hands down my favourite character in the MCU. Ruffalo’s Bruce specifically. I’ve seen a lot of people hating on his characterisation in Ragnarok and IW but I think, considering he’s been trapped inside the Hulk for two years (he even uses this himself as an explanation himself when Thor asks him why he’s being weird) I think we should expect him to be confused, dazed and a bit of a mess. Hopefully this calms down in part 2 so that we can get to see a bit more of our favourite mild-mannered scientist but the adorkable, excitable, child-like Bruce is so nice to see after the stressed, tense and uncomfortable Bruce of Avengers Assemble and AOU (although he’s arguable a lot happier and relaxed in AOU). I adore him (see what I did there?) because, although he hasn’t necessarily learned from his mistakes (he’s still conducting crazy stupid and potentially dangerous experiments just to see what happens, I’m talking about Vision/Ultron here) he tries to learn from them and be a better person and control himself for the well being of those around him. He’s quiet and vulnerable and he has such a terrible, heartbreaking history. I have a thing for self-conscious, self-deprecating nerds. I’ll be honest and say I wasn’t hugely drawn to Natasha until Winter Soldier and AOU. But I love her now. She’s such a complex and well written character. She’s fierce and loyal but often morally grey, which I always find fascinating. At the end of the day, she does what she thinks is right but she knows sacrifices often have to be made. She’s a realist, despite bending the rules occasionally when her gut tells her to (letting Bucky go in Civil War). 

3) I think I covered this in the above two answers but what I would really, really love to see is a quiet conversation between the two of them. That doesn’t feel like I’m asking for much, all things considered. I wanted that in IW, I wanted them to take a moment together after being reunited. I wanted Bruce to make it clear it wasn’t his decision to leave and I wanted Nat to realise she was the reason he was originally (in Ragnarok) able to become Bruce again. I wanted there to be tension but also relief that they were both okay and together again and I wanted it to be clear just how much Nat missed Bruce because, strong and independent or not, she did miss him. That much is obvious. I would also love to see them just quietly supporting each other. In IW they were standing next to each other on the jet to Wakanda and when they are talking over a game plan with the rest of the Avengers. Then Nat is the one to ask how Bruce is feeling about the Hulkbuster suit and he responds with such enthusiasm that I can only assume they’ve had a few conversations off screen that have allowed them to patch things up a little. I wish we had seen Nat’s reaction to his excitement, I can imagine her smiling like she did at the beginning of AOU when the lullaby worked perfectly. That would have been a nice touch. I’d love for them to be together, ultimately, but if I can’t have that then I want them to remain close. They had a connection and it was unusual and unexpected and that’s why I loved it so much. The more you saw of them together, the more it made sense. And I missed that in IW.